#shared props in bl series

[hotasfahrenheit]

listen y'all i just started the first episode of Playboyy and i'm ready to get into it but-

WHY ARE THEY SHARING PROPS I'M CRYING

[hughungrybear]

Me watching Laws of Attraction Ep. 6:

1. I'm so ready to finally learn Charn's backstory, gawds dammit. 😅😅😅

2. This might be the most awkward drive in BL history lol 😂😂😂😂 Wtf. I died laughing with the "first" and possible "second edition of haunted and horny night" with the (unfortunate) timely background music from the car radio 🤣🤣🤣🤣

3. Finally! Mr. Bodyguard (Methee) makes his move to save Tanthai. But why are you escaping in broad daylight??? 😅😅😅

4. I said in the previous episode that Charn is opportunistic. Well, he is utilising that talent in all its glory while riding that motorbike with Tin 😂😂😂😂

5. What in the name of Thai lakorn is this??? 😂😂😂 Tin serenading Charn in broad daylight??? People who willingly let themselves be used as props? Whhhhaaaat? Lol.

6. Oh? So Wit is still alive? After that unnecessary explosion? Lol.

7. Are Methee and Tanthai in the same place as Tin and Charn? 🤔🤔🤔 Also, TheeTan almost sounds like a famous Aussie biscuit brand (that, or I'm just hungry) 😅

8. Oh, at least they finally got the doll back. But why do they need to get the bag too? Lol.

9. Y'know, Charn's smile IS scary. It's almost like he have something evil cooking up his sleeve. 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

10. So, the Village Head sold the whole village out? <after five seconds> Wait, the head goon said the Village Head could share the cash with everybody else. So, the whole village conspired against Charn and his mum? If they didn't want to legally fight anymore then why didn't they just fire Charn??? The fvck 🤬🤬🤬

11. So, Charn chose to destroy the whole village with his own hands. Can't blame him for that. I'm guessing that "Navin" is the haunted and horny night?

12. Ooof. I guess this episode is a new version of Charn's haunted and horny night 🫣🫣🫣🫣 also, what's with these gays and earning points? Lol.

13. Why do you need to go back though, Tan??? Why do you need to return him, Thee? 😭😭😭😭😭 Just keep running, you two.

14. Charn, what are you doing???? What are you planning???

Next episode's preview is trying too hard to sell that Charn will somehow betray Tin. Unfortunately, the series is starting to shape like a classic Thai lakorn with the plot becoming predictable. I still don't understand why Thee and Tan need to go back to Thattep though. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[blmpff]

Reveal Your Watch & Rewatch List

Thank you for the tag @lelephantsnail 🥰

(the tag was on my main @asdfghjklmpff but I'll answer here as it's mostly bl)

Watching:

Ai Long Nhai - it's a trash watch (affectionate) that covers topics I don't mostly see in shows like this. Huge props for not including homophobia (other than selfhomophopia of one of the leads but it's handed nicely). I have a tiny issue with time divided between the couples in the show as the sides don't get any? Genuinely, the total time of 2(?) sides doesn't come up to more than 10min in the 11eps so far. Ep 12 this Monday is the finale.

War of Y - no comment. I acknowledge the hypocrisy of the show but I just love ToruFirst. Even tho I don't feel Achi's love for Most, feels like it's just business to him. Luckily it ends this Tuesday.

Choco Milk Shake - I'll kill and die for any of them, such a genuinely pleasant little thing. I wonder what we'll get in the finale in two weeks.

Happy Ending Romance - it's clearly a me issue, because the opinions I see are positive but I'm not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. I will finish it out of curiosity tho.

Oh! My Asistant - 2 of the comedy scenes are not entirely up my alley but overall I am enjoying it very much, I loved the bi realization this week. We love established gay characters and supportive friends (that friend needs to check up on his feelings tho, leaving his fiance every chance he gets to help his bestie).

My Tooth Your Love - Wonderful, amazing, finally a bl with adult characters and problems and navigating getting together when you're both working and dealing with more life baggage. Again, weird time division between the side couples. I am mostly invested in the mains tho. And I love when Bai Lang and Alex slip in english when they talk.

Catch Me Baby - it's a straight rom-com with Inspection M from MOD, with a bl side (JamesNet with upcoming series of their own). I was unexpectedly drawn into it from the start, even the straight part of it, but some of the choices let me down (again, a me issue) and now I'm watching it on 2x slowing down for TanFoei.

My School President - I didn't want to watch it becasue it seemed like another school comedy I've had my fair share of right now, but everyone and their mother on here was praising it and I watched the 1st ep few days ago and I don't feel it. I'll give it an ep or two more, maybe it'll grow on me.

Between Us - I love the love Win and Team have for each other and how they help each other out because they have and can and want to give the other what he needs. I love the friend circles, even the comedy relief ABC gang.

Remember Me - initially I didn't want to watch it at all because of the wigs (understandably) and Mean (a me thing) but I gave it a shot, and it had me in a chokehold up until 3ish eps ago. I am here for Name and Em and what the show did to them feels messy (derogatory) and it simply doesn't make sense. I don't buy it that Em was so busy that he would not message Name at all for that long. And then he was communicating through the mother?? And then disappeared completely to let the mother take over?????? Miss me with that bullshit. I'll finish it but only because I want the show to redeem itself, if it doesn't it will be one of the biggest let downs of the year.

I will keep you updated @lelephantsnail ❣️

Recent Binges

Bastard Son & The Devil Himself - I JUST LEARNED A FEW HOURS AGO IT GOT CANCELLED AND I'M MAD. It had magic and violence, and beautiful power of decimation. And a poly relationship (not just fans' wishfull thinking). And I love the characterisation of Gabriel, that since he's an alchemist he has his fingertips constantly colored with the powder his working with. I admit to being a tad lost with the plot but I loved it! Having recently seen Wakanda Forever with all the Marvel's fancy editing and swift multiple camera movements and angles, this felt more raw and down to earth. And like, genuine, they didn't make the magic some bright and glowy thing, it did feel like a part of that world.

Weak Hero Class 1 - I have not read the novel(?) it was based on so I can't comment on that, but I did love the show. I loved the reluctant friendship that formed, I loved how the 'calm and reserved' top student beat the bullies (a head taller mind you) with his knowledge of physics and ominous pen clicking (and smashing noses with books and stabing the pen in the bullies arm and smashing an ankle with gym weight, amongst others). It's raw in its violence and warm in the friendship, and fuck that rich kid for taking his home problems out on his new friends. Therapy for all! But it's a show so they resolve their problems in more interesting ways. I did love how the two main guys became ride or die friends. Also there need to be more seasons because I need more pen stabbing and SooHo to wake up stat.

Rewatching

Avatar The Last Airbender I'm slowly but surely making my way through it, a few eps at a time. I'm currently on s03e06, I love it.

There's this upcoming BL called The Promise and they released 2 30mins episoded of...? Prologue...? I don't know exatly how they're related to the main story, but it's with the main actors and when I tell you it had my full attention. Childhood friends to university students sharing dormroom to running away for the other's sake, and the 2nd ep ends with their reunion after 9 years. The pining!

Plan To Watch:

I'm not rewatching anything atm with the amount of airing shows I'm currently watching and having two jobs lol, but I want to rewatch More Than Words so bad.

I did recently rewatch Restart After Come Back Home because it's on Gaga now, and yep still love it.

Also I've been thinking about rewatching Under The Skin, but it is 20 eps so I'm going to have to wait when there are less shows airing. Highly recommend! It's about a young artist joing police force to help them catch criminals with his portraits. But wait! The painter and the Captain have ugly history! Is what the Captain thinks right tho? I loved that there are no forced relationships, no relationships at all in fact, even between male and female detectives. And the cases they have to solve are interesting and convoluted! (sometimes overcomplicated imo but shh). And yes, the painter and captain felt bromancey, it's China afterall.

From the shows that are already out: More Than Words, finish ATLA.

The upcoming shows I'm most looking forward to: I Feel You Linger In The Air, Only Friends, Moonlight Chicken, Never Let Me Go, Bed Friend, Middleman's Love.

Confirmed, TBA: Blueming 2

Shows that were confirmed and seem to have vanished: Art Adore En (mmm poly side), Just Say Yes (I just loved their chemistry in Don't Say Not and was curious how they would do in their own series).

Well that got long again, thank you if you've made it to the end <3

Tagging @seung-sung @varis-world @thequeenofsastiel @idberinging only if you feel like it <3 and if anyone else wants go go for it <3

[olderthannetfic]

I recently started a new fandom with a canon mlm couple, beautifully executed, with really lovely chemistry and a heartbreaking arc so far. I was so excited. Now, people from an old fandom have started comparing them to the favourite fandom ship when they're completely different; in story, in relationship dynamic, in setting, in chemistry, in the way they talk. In every way. But fandom is shoe-horning this new pairing into the same tired old tropes. And they're making the black man into a huge, dominant character in some art/fic, and the white dude into a small, frail, twink. They're canonically the same size. If anything, the white dude is more thickly built.

Why do fandoms do this? Why is it so difficult to enjoy the chemistry and dynamics of what is actually there? Is this a common thing you have seen across lots of fandoms as someone with experience? It probably makes me a bad person, but as a gay guy, I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable in fandom as time passes. I block, I press the back button, but it seems to be so prevalent I might as well not bother.

--

Heh. Nice attempt to avoid spoilers, though I'm pretty sure I already know what this is. (And if I'm right, yes, I see why you don't want to spoil.)

Long story short, yes, this is extremely common.

--

There's a lot to unpack here, both about what's going on and about how you're perceiving it. Here are some thoughts:

Fandom constantly shoehorns new ships into the mold of a previous favorite. It's extremely annoying to fans who don't share a love of that prior dynamic and invisible to ones who do. Beware of thinking that your interpretation of this new dynamic is objective truth even if you're closer to canon than those other people are.

Big seme/small uke is a very common taste. So is dom who also literally tops in the sex position sense/sub bottom. People who aren't into this ultra common taste are often alienated by the fic/art output of a fandom.

"As a gay guy" meaning you think it's women doing this? Outsiders projecting onto people like you? I hate to tell you, but gay dudes' art for other gay dudes is constantly guilty of making the big one top and of being horny for racist stereotypes. It's fine to find the pattern uncomfortable and want to avoid it, but I would not assume the taste gap is just because you're a gay man or that none of these other people are.

That said, there does tend to be a genre difference between BL and geikomi, between slash fanfiction and gay lit from a gay press. Depending on your prior media diet, the particular way fandom is writing about this might feel especially new and jarring.

--

The "willowy, ethereal twink" nonsense is endemic to slash/BL fandoms.

The old Man from UNCLE tv series has two guys who are about the same age and height, but the very slightly smaller one is the sardonic Russian scientist panty-dropper in a black turtleneck and the slightly bigger one is the American agent in a suit. In fic, Illya is like 10 years younger, a thousand times willowier, and frequently badtouched by the villains. Napoleon is a rapist or a bland, supportive prop.

It's not because Illya is othered as a Soviet agent or because people hate Napoleon. It's because Illya has all the qualities that guaranteed he'd be fandom's favorite.

The Fave™ is the one who gets this treatment in any fandom.

Now, in terms of racism, choice of fave is absolutely not neutral. Some of that is fans. A lot of that is that casting is wildly racist.

Fave-ness tends to go along with being the Single Perfect Tear one in canon. It tends to go along with being a Beautiful Mess instead of a supportive friend. You're not going to get a canonical single perfect tear black woobie with an endlessly supportive white bestie very often. At best, you might get a beautiful mess next to beautiful messes of the same ethnicity or a canon where they're both a bit of a mess. It's the same kind of process where any crime show with a Genius and a babysitter always makes the woman or the POC the babysitter and the Genius a white man.

Seme/uke dynamics (let's call them that for the moment since this is something more than just who sticks it in or who's a dom) tend to pick the more emotional character for the uke. It might be the one who's more of an audience entry point POV character. It might be the more emotionally accessible one due to them talking more about feelings. Even in cases where the seme is a mess emotionally, they're often a "clam" whose secret insides we don't know that well at first.

Look at The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty and how one dude is the manic pixie dream guy and the other is the PTSD-ridden clam. Look at The Untamed with its compelling hot mess and stoic but secretly pining love interest. When it's a more BL-y canon, they tend to go ahead and cast for the body dimorphism this audience likes in the first place.

--

No, I don't love it either when fandom's choice of seme grows 2 feet for fan art and the uke is a waif, but it has always been a strong pattern. It comes from a lot of people having a taste for a certain kind of shorthand about dynamics.

I would bet, even without knowing what canon this is for sure, that the white one is more of an audience entry point or more of a manic pixie dream guy helping a more stoic guy open up.

That virtually guarantees some of this twisting of their dynamic in fanworks. This would still be true even if it were two white guys.

That doesn't mean you have to like it.

[heretherebedork]

THE ENDING FOR OSSANS LOVE. WE DID IT THEY DID A NON-COMEDY KISS. INITIATED BY TIN TOO. WE WON FELLAS.

but seriously, this episode was wild from start to finish. i watched it live on tv so i was just an anxious mess during the ad breaks wondering whether the last 30, 20, 10 minutes could really tie up the story. and it did! i’m still amazed at how much happens in one episode. we really went from siu muk screaming about how tin should’ve thought through the marriage to them kissing on the couch? and i’d like to think the easter egg is a lawyer asking them these questions before letting them sign their marriage papers but i’m getting ahead of myself

so KK telling tin to go find muk was quite surprising to me. i thought even if deep down KK knew tin wasn’t genuine with his romantic love for KK or couldn’t reciprocate it the way KK wants, he’d rather play pretend than let Tin go, so truly, props to him for being the bigger man and being mature (if thats the term) and encouraging Tin to go find ah muk. i think it’s also partly because he does love Tin enough to want him to have a happy future and not be so selfish as to keep him when both parties aren’t gonna be 100% happy with it.

and then when muk tried to tell tin they wouldn’t have a good future together but obviously just saying without any fight in him? honestly i kinda laughed, it felt like he included it just as an inside joke like, hey remember how i said this and we broke up but here you are ditching your marriage? we ended up right where we left off! (i can’t articulate this properly but i hope you understand HAHA). and Tin going like, i’m a big boy, let me choose :( and it’s true! he has indeed grown (sure he still can’t pack but i’m sure he’s more in touch with his feelings towards siu muk)

honestly? i’m very satisfied with the ending, and LOVED it when carmen took out her own recording device. i was wondering why ping gor just stopped using it after the scam. so glad they brought it back, esp through carmen and it helps solidify their relationship. this couple is truly iconic, i love their dynamic.

i still have so many thoughts but here are some nice stuff from their zoom after party: (1) literally everyone (even the producer) wants to do a movie adaptation or a second season (movie felt more ideal amongst them, but any continuum is nice). (2) for the last scene/ kissing scene, edan and anson actually did three takes with varying degrees of intensity. the one that aired was the middle one, and when asking whether they’d release the most intense one (apparently more mouth/lip movement), both edan and anson lo said they shouldn’t release it because they want it to happen in the movie/ sequel. (3) the cast thinks KK and Darren has potential. (4) the cast also thought louis and francesca should’ve kissed. (5) the hk adaptation is airing in japan HAHA (in fall) as well as a few other east asian countries. that’s all i recall for now.

thank you, francis, from the bottom of my heart, for answering my asks and allowing me to have someone to vent to, laugh at, and get emotionally wrecked together. i know you watch a bunch of other BL series but this has become my favourite show (i don’t watch a lot but when i watch shows i completely spiral) so i’m so happy to get to talk about it with someone. something so dangerous about asian dramas is finding people who want to talk about it (in english as well!) i’ll probably be in your askbox for a few more days sorting out my feelings but i loved going on your blog and seeing new posts about ossan’s love!

We got a comedy kiss turned real kiss! Which was wonderful. It was so, so good to see. I was SO WORRIED when Tin panicked at the kiss again but YESSS WE GOT THE KISS. I might watch those last few scenes with them again, tbh. They're just so GOOD and SWEET and HEARTFELT. What darling boys.

That episode was definitely a wild ride. They held out for the last minute to solve things. Siu Muk yelling about Tin not making up his mind just made me wanna scream, though. I mean, come on dude! You did break up with him for 'his own good'. What did you want him to do? You knew he still had feelings for you when you broke up with him! Stop it! I really wish Siu Muk had been the one to go after Tin, truly, and not have the failed scene at the bridge... but it was good to see Tin chase him down though.

Oh, that scene hurt so much. Siu Muk was so unsure and so scared and Tin, for the first time, genuinely made up his mind. He said 'This is me and I know myself, stop telling me who I am' and he meant it. Is he a fully competent and independent adult? No, but who is? He's capable of running a business and choosing who he loves and if he can't pack a bag... well, everyone has a weakness.

Oh man, a movie adaptation would be great. A second season would probably make me twitchy because EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. SEASON. EVER. is like 'miscommunication and possible cheating!' and I don't want that for our boys. I want them to just be happy together. I'd only like a second season if they let Siu Muk and Tin be the secondary happy couple and make someone else be in that weird love triangle position. I'd actually love that! They'd make an amazing 'happy in the background' couple.

I want that kiss. DAMNIT. I want that KISS. I wanna see all the versions of the kiss and also more kisses, pleases. Just... Tin and Siu Muk kissing in general would be great and ideal and my favorite thing ever. I just want their future to be happy and content and full of love.

Oh, I am always glad to get show-specific asks, or any ask at all, and happy to chat and natter and share! Please, always feel free to hit me up. It's hard to find a BL I'm not watching (if you do, feel free to tell me about it because it's probably an accident!) I have too much free time, no life and a love of BL that is all encompassing. I've been so glad to know that other people share this show and the same deep thoughts about it and enjoyed all the same bits!

You are always welcome to hit me up and to chat. I've got plenty of headcanons I'm still considering for these characters so I look forward to seeing and hearing your post-show thoughts as well.

[cross-d-a]

Pass the happy!💖 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications!

(I have decided that Discord notifs count because I love you dearly and wanna hear what makes you happy)

HELLO!!!! I love you and I kinda really needed this and I think you know that so thank you!!!!! I love and appreciate you SO MUCH!!

Also I've literally been thinking about this post for two hours and so I'm not gonna stick to just five- I'm gonna list MORE than that because I wanna remind myself that there are many wonderful things in the world to be happy about and also PICS!! I'm adding PICS bc I CAN!!!!!!!!!

under the cut bc it gets LONG! :)

1) YOU make me happy, Sierra!!!!!!! Also @s1utspeare and @vishcount and of course my bff @haru-tl !!! You guys are so fucking incredible and talented and AMAZING!!!! I love you all SO MUCH!!! You always make my day!!! And all the dmbj peeps!!! I am so lucky to know so many wonderful people!!!!

2) as long as we're on the subject of people- I absolutely can't leave out my coworkers!!! Literally some of the best people I've ever met in my life. I have so much fun with them. I can always count on them making me laugh.

Like today, we were talking about this reptile house a few towns away and my manager was telling us about their cool anaconda exhibit where you can crawl under the glass tank and watch them eat and she mentioned their teeth being scary. So I googled Anaconda Teeth and went WOAH THEY'RE COOL and our Resident Snake Expert came over and went actually that pic is from the movie Anaconda. And then he helped me find Real Pics and the teeth were even COOLER. I left the Google search up on the work computer and a couple hours when I was on lunch I heard Mike exclaim: "I had NO idea that ANACONDAS had TEETH!!!!!!" Which?? MIKE?? WHAT??? Hahaha everyone burst into laughter :)

3) my cat BOOTS makes me happy!! He's always asking for belly scritches and he drools when he's happy. Here's a pic bc I adore him:

4) my new baby boy So Mun from The Uncanny Counter makes me VERY happy!!!!! He's just- the Sweetest Boy to have ever Baby'd!!! I adore his little crinkly-eyed smile and curly hair!!! He's just so GOOD it makes me cry!! Also!! Disabled rep!!!!! LOVE HIM!!!!! Look at his lil' FACE:

and bc he is Unfortunately Very Hot in his mourning outfit:

adding this too bc LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE SMILE I wanna SCREAM

5) my Pangzi necklace makes me happy!!! I have an Iron Triangle matching set, but the Pangzi one I first put on bc of Brigid's Pangzi chapter for Swiftly Tilting and then I kinda just- never took it off haha. It's just so pretty and makes me feel like I've got a bit of Pangzi with me at all times. I love that man SO much and if I can be even a fraction of how wonderful he is, then I can die happy

6) the smell of the sea makes me happy!!! It makes me feel refreshed and relaxed! I live by Puget Sound and on very lucky days I can smell it at my house! Tonight was a lucky night! I came home and it smelled like the seashore, so I kept my window open as I folded laundry :)

7) my new collection of Kpop CDs makes me happy!! It's entirely bc of Vish's influence and I LOVE her for it!!! The packaging is just so pretty and I always love being able to hold things that give me Good Feelings in my hands :)

8) since we're on the subject of COLLECTIONS, I love to collect things!! And one collection of things that makes me happy are my books!! I have- too many. Working in a bookstore makes it too easy to buy them! But seeing the bright spines on my shelves gives me delight. I particularly really like my queer manga collection!! I've got four whole shelves of it! :) I'd offer a pic but I'm too tired to go upstairs, haha but I love the art and the representation 🌈

9) I ALSO really love all the figures I collect! Seeing characters that I love on a daily basis makes me happy. I usually decorate my bookshelves with them. One set that makes me particularly happy are my Pingxie ones. They look like they're getting married and it delights me:

10) another purchase that is entirely bc of Vish (I ADORE you!!) is my Chimmy blanket!! He's just so adorable and bright and coming home every day to see him waiting on my bed makes me very happy

11) yet another bright yellow thing that makes me happy is my dmbj Xiao Ge coaster!! It's so sparkly and fun AND it's a friendship coaster I share with Sierra!! We've got a matching set, babe!! I love you!! Let's just shake them around and be distracted by the sparkles forever!!

12) coming back to work from my weekend to find a bunch of manga to shelve always makes me very happy!!! Buying/pricing/shelving manga is my favourite thing to do at work! I love seeing familiar and new titles!

And it's interesting to see how prices can change if it goes out of print! Sometimes every single book in a series but ONE is the same price. Like last month we had a series where like/ volume 8 was worth $250 vs the regular $7.99 for the rest of them. And someone BOUGHT IT!! Things like that can happen randomly. It can be bc it was a smaller printing for that particular volume. OR something special happens in it (new character appearance/fan favourite story arc/BOOBS), so more ppl want to keep it which means it's harder to come by (and then sellers raise their prices BC it's difficult to come by). You usually see the collectible value go up for out of print BL or older series like Aria or Lupin III. Not everything that's out of print is collectible, but it's always interesting when it is :)

13) DAY6's The Book of Us: Gravity has graciously given me a big serotonin boost the last couple days!! It's just- I dunno! Uplifting! Catchy! Full of energy! :)

14) similarly, I've been listening to Close Your Eyes by Isaac Hong almost exclusively for like- five days now! It's from The Uncanny Counter and it makes me very happy! It's very emotional and just reminds me of my baby boy So Mun :)

15) sunshine makes me happy!! I'm at that point in the year where I don't want rain anymore, just sun! So it's always nice having my windows open at home with the sun shining through. Or the back doors at work propped open while we go about our day. It's almost impossible to feel sad when you get to bask in the warmth of the sun and smell the nice fresh air

16) finding weird random books at work makes me happy! It's so fun seeing the kinds of things people read! And sometimes you find cool ephemera in the things people sell to us that they don't want back. Like- look at this pic from an older fortune-telling birthday book I found. She is 1000% Drowning Him and I love that for her :)

17) reading manga makes me happy. There are just so many wonderful and ridiculous series out there. There really is nothing "too weird to publish" in the manga world. I was reminded of this the other day when I discovered a series about a girl who timetravels and finds out that her soulmate is a Neanderthal. You can literally find a series about ANYTHING in the manga world and I love that about it. There's no limit to the imagination and there's something for everyone :)

18) when I'm in the mood, writing and drawing make me happy. There's just something about creating that really just- fills the soul :)

19) making playlists makes me happy!! I love having playlists for characters and relationships and fics and even specific fic chapters or moods or going to sleep! (And rec playlists! Like Vish's :) ) It's just- so satisfying having the Perfect Playlist on hand! Plus it's fun actually making them- like figuring out the mood/lyrics and what they fit into :) I listen to music almost constantly, so this is essential! :)

So thank you Sierra!! It was nice to remind myself about a lot of different things that bring joy to my life!! I love and adore you SO MUCH 💖💖💖

[chanagun]

Bring Me to You

Fandom: เพราะรักใช่ป่าว | Why R U?: The Series  Pairing: Saifah/Zon

Summary: what happens in the immediate aftermath of the charity performance 

Notes: 793 Words

AO3

——

“Why are you so nice to me?”

“Because you already have my heart.”

Oh

Oh, Zon remembered fondly. It had always been leading up to that, hadn’t it? He smiled before hiding his rosy face further into the crook of Saifah’s neck, who chuckled and let his fingers lazily comb through Zon’s hair.

They had dodged out of the concert much faster than initially planned, but neither had any qualms. Zon knew his phone was going off, getting texts from his friends congratulating him on the show followed by disgruntled ones asking why he’d disappeared.

He and Saifah had left hand in hand, and were currently pressed against each other in Saifah’s bed. Zon was draped in pajamas too big for him but he didn’t mind at all.

“You’re thinking so loudly, my Zon,” Saifah teased before pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “Care to share?”

Zon didn’t try to hide his smile this time, propping himself up in order to meet Saifah’s eye. “You said I have your heart,” he paused, and Saifah nodded slowly, “since when?”

“Ah,” he laughed nervously, “I guess this is the perfect time to admit it,” Saifah said, causing Zon to raise an eyebrow. “It’s just... kind of embarrassing but it was when we had our... scuffle in the parking garage.”

Zon poked Saifah’s reddening cheek, “why is that embarrassing?” He asked in earnest, surprising the other boy.

“Because it wasn’t exactly a friendly exchange?”

“Well, you did kiss me-“

“Oi, Zon!” Saifah exclaimed, making Zon laugh a little.

“I’m just teasing,” Zon consoled, pressing a quick kiss to the easily accessible spot on Saifah’s chest. “It’s really okay. Tell me more.”

“Hmm,” he hummed before continuing, “I can’t say I hated the exchange and then I just couldn’t get you out of my head. You were upset with me, which was valid, and I just matched your energy. I only teased because I had a crush on you. My friends thought I was so obvious about it, too.”

“Well, it wasn’t obvious to me,” Zon replied, dropping his head and nuzzling into Saifah’s chest. “So you’ve liked me all the way since then?” he asked into Saifah’s shirt.

Saifah hummed, “Yeah. And I like you more and more each day.”

Zon shot back up, lip pouting and a blush dusting his cheeks, as he met Saifah’s gaze. The pause was heavy, something hanging in the air before Zon pulled himself up. Noses brushed and Saifah brought his hand to rest against his jaw.

“You know you have my heart too, right?” Zon told him just above a whisper. Saifah just smiled before bringing their lips together.

“I do now,” he mumbled against Zon’s lips.

“Only now?” Zon asked surprised, bringing himself up to a fully sitting upright position. Saifah tried not to frown before following the motion.

“I didn’t want to get my hopes up too much. You shied away from me even when we were becoming friends so...” Saifah explained. He reached out and grabbed each of Zon’s hands in his own.

“I’ve had a... feeling I might like you since we went out shopping for the guitar pick,” Zon admitted.

Saifah’s smile grew as the warmth spread across his chest. He gave Zon’s hands a slight squeeze and started “that day was some of the most fun I’ve had in a while, you know.”

“It was a lot of fun,” Zon agreed, smiling wide but looking down at their hands. “Whenever I got to be with you I just felt... good and I wasn’t really sure what it all meant. I always wanted to be near you and tease you and hug you and I really didn’t get it. Until I did,” Zon looked up again then, eyes trained easily on Saifah, “I did figure it out.”

“Yeah?” Saifah said, tugging gently on the hands in his own “When was that?”

Zon felt like he could burst from happiness, like if he didn’t bite down on his lip his smile would fly off his face.

He just laughed before climbing across Saifah’s lap, unclamping their hands in order to wrap them around Saifah’s neck. He felt arms easily hug around his waist.

“When you finally kissed me,” Zon answered.

Saifah chuckled, sending soft vibrations through Zon’s chest as well. “I tried to kiss you a couple times before then, too.”

“We all go at different paces Mr. Saifah, please give me a break.”

He punctuated his statement with a lazy kiss to Saifah’s forehead. Saifah’s grip tightened as he dusted kisses of his own across Zon’s cheekbone, the bridge of his nose, his Cupid’s bow.

“I’ll give you anything you want, my Zon,” he said before bringing their lips together again.

.

Thanks to @bl-archer for venting about saifahzon with me and reading my half baked nonsense, to @kxrn7knxck for reading a literally redacted version since he’s not caught up on the show, and to @weilongfu just for encouraging me to write in general. Really gonna try to get back into it y’all.

[ppatpranss]

GAYA SA PELIKULA EP. 02 Review: Let’s talk about that dinner scene.

“May nahanap ka na bang mauuwian?”

I always have this kind of fear over a series that I already liked in the first episode: a fear that the second one will not live up to it, and so will the rest. But Gaya Sa Pelikula on its second episode did not disappoint, and instead set a whole new pace that further strengthens the story it wants to tell. In this episode, you get easy banters, hilarious make-believe and intriguing fantasies, heartwarming softness, a piercing tension at every turn, that very subtle buildup of romance, and of course, that wonderful conversation on the dining table.

Early warning that I have been gushing about the dinner scene since last night, so it will take up a lot of space in this review/discussion.

[WATCH EPISODE 02 HERE]

What sets Gaya apart

Every time I watch an episode of this show and would rewatch it, I am always overwhelmed with the amount of observations I am able to write down. There are a lot of elements that make this such a good watching experience, and all of those elements just naturally come together. By this, I mean that it does not rely solely on, say, just directing or writing or acting. All of these come together, and I appreciate that you can clearly see how well-thought out everything is.

Episode 02 is a lot more free-flowing and non-structured in my opinion. Transitions feel a lot smoother this time compared to the more scene-after-scene approach of the (no less incredible) pilot episode. Because of this, I actually feel like this point is the real beginning of the story – that this sets the tone for a lot of the future events that could possibly happen between Karl and Vlad, and the people in their lives.

Personally, this is what sets Gaya apart not just among the BL series, but also in Philippine TV in general. For the longest time, we got used to stagnant or repetitive conflicts. Sometimes all the drama are injected to overwhelm the audience. But this one takes its time well. This is a show that wants to bring its audience along its every journey.

Parallels, heartbreaks, buildups

The opening scene picks up where we left off, with Ate Judit now writing a check for Karl’s rent because Vlad will stay over. She reminds Karl that while she’s a cool sister, she won’t stand for her brother getting hurt again. With this, she specifically mentioned “a boy too sweet to swat a fly” who broke his brother’s heart before.

First of all, I’m getting a sudden whiplash whenever this is brought up because I know exactly who it is. Given the first encounter of Karl with Vlad, where he saw him drunkenly dancing to a song about intense heartbreak (again, stream tyl by kakie!), it must have been something truly painful. It doesn’t help as well that there is an obvious parallel going on here with the fact that the description also fits Karl. At one point, Vlad also tells him that he does not need to worry because he looks like someone who does not have a power to hurt him anyway. They are really setting us up as early as now for the heartache, no?

In the same way, I appreciate how this show inserts the sexual attraction also forming between the two of them. Sexual attraction is a part of romance. Gaya normalizes it and emphasizes that it is just natural. The couch scene was particularly genius because of the double meanings of Karl and Vlad’s exchange. But more than that, I like how it also unapologetically shows the physical component of that attraction by having Karl and Vlad sit close together. Vlad even has his arm around Karl. Even the fact that Karl stared at Vlad when he got out of the bathroom was a nice touch.

While the One More Chance dream fantasy was all sorts of hilarious and sexy, it is a testament to how Karl’s subconscious is already telling him something that he keeps on denying. I also like the nice touch there when Karl woke up, he was just disoriented that he had a dirty dream, but not disgusted by it (there are some series and dramas that do this). He is attracted to Vlad. However, for Karl to accept his feelings, it also means that he needs to accept his sexuality. A point which was discussed primarily in the scene before this – the conversation at the dining table.

The phenomenal dinner scene

I wish I am able to give justice to this scene through words, and I’ll try because we need to talk about it (or I need to talk about it). As a fan of films and TV series, I feel like conversations are the most difficult to bring to the surface. You need to keep the audience’s attention while also making sure that the depth is there. For me, what I always look for in conversation scenes are three things: (1) how normal these conversations would sound like as if you are overhearing them from the table next to you; (2) how a director captures the rawness of the exchange between the two actors; and (3) how natural would the delivery be of each line. I think the third point is very important. Some actors have this tendency to talk in a certain kind of perky tone that makes it sound superficial. Thank goodness, both Ian and Pao were really great in this scene.

Of course, the most well-known example for a good conversation scene is the entire Before trilogy – it remains the gold standard for exhibiting the power and the magic of conversations, of an entire film with just these two people talking and forming connections. While this dinner scene isn’t exactly a Before levels type of perfection, to me it was a perfect scene in the face of BL series and the Philippines TV landscape in general.

𝗚𝗮𝘆. 𝗕𝗮𝗸𝗹𝗮. 𝗕𝗮𝘆𝗼𝘁. 𝗕𝗮𝗱����𝗻𝗴. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘁. 𝗜𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗲𝘂𝗽𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗺. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁.

One of the things best highlighted in this scene is when Karl did the gesture with his hand. That is unfortunately common in the Philippines, with people literally doing it to your face when they ask you. Or some of them done behind your back with matching giggling and knowing looks. I should know because I’ve seen it among my relatives when they try to refer to or describe a cousin or an uncle who is gay or might be gay. Karl was conditioned to think this way, and it’s no surprise that he would struggle to ask the question and get the word out. Meanwhile, Vlad is confident in his own skin. He doesn’t miss a beat and tries to get Karl to say the words in a way that both lectures him and encourages him.

This is what makes the scene purely amazing. It is confrontational, but it is not dramatic. It isn’t even preachy at all. It’s just a seemingly ordinary conversation between two people over a meal, trying to get to know and understand each other. You really got to hand it to Severo for constructing a dialogue this way because it also brings out both of Karl and Vlad’s current disposition. Moreover, this topic is a big deal and there are a lot of conversations that need to be had around it. But this scene easily summed it up around that one simple gesture. In less than a minute, it was able to tell you that being called gay, bakla, bayot, bading is not an insult. No grand monologue was needed.

Aside from that iconic exchange, I also loved the second part of it. It’s not going around much on Twitter so I can see some people reacting to the earlier exchange as if Karl was really just insulting Vlad. But the deal here is, Karl is also in the process of unlearning his bias and conditioning. He grew up in a household where his Dad would take digs against his gay uncle, Tito Santi. There’s even a hint of Tito Santi being physically hurt by his father if he’s “babakla-bakla” (basically another insulting way of saying lalambot-lambot). You can just imagine how difficult it must have been for him to grow up and feel like he needs to follow a certain path that his parents see for him.

Hence, when confronted by Vlad with the question, “Ikaw ba, bakla ka?” he was defensive. His tone shot up much higher than normal and was almost panicked. You can literally feel all of his guard come up. Vlad asked him why he was acting like he just accused him of a crime, and to his credit, Karl immediately apologized. But again, I just really understand Karl and I can’t wait for him to really see himself and get to know himself. There is so much about him that I am interested to learn and for him to learn as well about himself. I always see him as like a kid learning to take his first steps – he stumbles but tries to stand again even for just the sake of himself. His many mess-ups in life make his character compelling… and I guess this is just me on my #ProtectKarlAgenda.

Interestingly, as per Direk JP, above scene references an iconic scene from Jose Javier Reyes’ 1993 rom-com film MAY MINAMAHAL which, coincidentally, I just watched last month when I found its restored version on iWant. Amazing as well that the specific scene of them having a meal together was really my favourite from the film because it was a turning point for Carlitos (Aga Muhlach) and Monica (Aiko Melendez). It was when they finally start to get to know each other because for the longest time, they would just flirt in the cafeteria. It was a fitting reference because for Karl and Vlad, they are already starting to get to know each other by sharing even a small part of themselves. I also find it adorable watching Karl watch Vlad messily eat his food. I live for those small soft moments because it just seems so pure and innocent.

All in all, the dinner scene truly delivered. It was iconic and powerful. Major props to Gege and Direk JP, but also to both Ian and Pao. I loved how Pao was able to capture Karl’s reluctance and embarrassment, and Ian just exudes the confidence you need to see in Vlad. How can I describe this connection? Magnetic, I guess? They can easily throw these lines at each other, sustain the tension, and kind of just get lost in it. At every turn, Vlad has the power in this scene as he tries to pull Karl towards him, but also Karl stands on his own ground despite being unsure. I appreciate that about Karl – his life can be a mess, but he never really loses his sense of self and principles.

Finding a home

Aside from everything that happened in this episode, one of the things that I definitely loved is its subtle hint of these two people finding a home in each other. The most striking line for me, really, was when Karl asked Vlad, may nahanap ka na bang mauuwian? I like that this can translate to have you found a place to stay in? and have you found a place to go home to? The episode had such a great run in double meanings, and this one takes the cake more than anything. Karl was starting to feel guilty about kicking out Vlad, and it also happens that over his phone call with Tito Santi, he told him to always find a way to repay kindness with paying it forward to another person or to the community. Luckily, Vlad went back to his apartment to use the restroom.

When Vlad was about to leave, Karl called him back and asked, “Nag-dinner ka na ba?”

Vlad stayed for dinner.

When Vlad was done with dinner and was about to leave again, Karl stopped him and said, “Dito ka na lang matulog.”

Vlad stayed the night.

When Vlad was about to leave to come live with his ex-boyfriend after cooking breakfast as a thank-you, Karl offered him a place to stay, “Will you be my housemate?”

Vlad said yes and stayed.

Epilogue

In today’s epilogue, Karl is still seated on his side of the couch, but Vlad this time was standing at the back of the other side, leaning forward. A stuffed whale occupies the space beside Karl. Every now and then, the two of them would look at each other but it is Karl who would often glance back at Vlad – as to what his eyes are telling him, I don’t know. But if I am allowed to guess, perhaps he was trying to get him to sit beside him? Perhaps, as the closing note goes, there is always a space for Vlad there.

Comments; Ramblings

It’s only the second episode but Gaya is already sparking conversations and it does it in such an engaging way for its many fans. For me, this one really sets the foundation for what is yet to come for the story of Karl and Vlad. If anything, this episode emphasizes that struggle will always be a part of queer love, at least in our current socio-political climate. It isn’t just in regard to identity, but also with everything that comes with the acceptance of who you are by yourself and the Other.

For the pilot episode discussion, I talked about how there seems to be a running theme in this show about seeing – of looking at yourself, the other, or a beloved. This episode shows us Karl seeing Vlad; closely and slowly starting to unravel what it was about him that compels him. For Vlad’s part, I’m pretty sure he’s starting to see who Karl is, too. I feel like him feeling comfortable enough with the idea of staying in Karl’s place and actually living with him over the sem break is an indication of strangely feeling at ease (home?) with someone he just met.

The concept of persons as homes takes me back to a post from a Facebook page called Bibliophile, which was lifted from a poem written by Warsan Shire called ‘For Women Who Are Difficult to Love’: “You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that.” This episode made me think a lot about that. On one hand, it feels romantic and uplifting to know that you have someone you can call your home, someone you can always return to as Yiu-fai put it in HAPPY TOGETHER [1997]. On the other hand, it feels scary because people change and if today the door and the windows are open, it might not be the same the next day. But I suppose I can feel hopeful for both Karl and Vlad. Perhaps, the door to Karl’s apartment will always be open for Vlad and the space beside the couch will always be reserved for him.

--

Gaya Sa Pelikula airs new episodes every Friday 8PM (Manila time) on Globe Studios’ Youtube channel.

RELATED POSTS

GAYA SA PELIKULA Ep 01 Review [x]

[siewwen666]

WEEK 9 FANDOM

This week we are gonna be talking about fandom！！Although I must say that I'm not really a fan girl, but hey, everyone must have been a fan of someone or something right? I can't say that I'm a totally loyal fan, cause I often get into fandom fast and leaves fast as well.

What is Fandom?

Let's start with the definition of fandom. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, fandom is a group of enthusiastic fans of someone or something, forming a community. Fandom can be fans of a celebrity, TV show, anime, game etc.

Cosplay & Fandom

I believe that the most common public impression of fandom is cosplay. So what is cosplay? According to Robin et al, Cosplay is actually short for 'costume-play', is the modern practice of wearing costumes, props, and accessories to represent a character.

Typically, cosplay is the extension of a person’s fandom for the character or genre, such as science fiction and fantasy, anime and manga, comic books, and other creative media. The purposes of cosplaying can vary, but include the expression of adoration of the character, enjoying attention or approval from audiences/peers, and experiencing the creative process of the costume construction.

My Experience On Fandom

So now I'm gonna share my experience in fandom. As I mentioned before I'm not a very loyal fan, but there is an animated show that I've been a fan of since childhood. Well the show is <Avatar The Last Airbend>. I remember as a child, I will always sit in front of the TV waiting for the series to start on Nickelodeon. And now since the show is finally on Netflix, I've been rewatching it and OMG it really brings me back to childhood, and the story is still as good as I've remembered. I've not only watched the original series but also the live-action movie (which was a total disappointment) and the secuela <The Legend Of Korra>. And now I'm waiting for the Netflix live-action adaptation, really hope that it won't be a disappointment.

What role have social media played in this fandom experience? Well a few weeks ago when I was scrolling on Tumblr, I found out some fandoms of the show. And I realised that there is a group of fans making a fan-fiction comic of Avatar. If it wasn't for the purposes of this unit, I wouldn't be downloading Tumblr and I wouldn't realise that there was an Avatar fandom here. Having to discover the fan-fiction cosmic made me so happy, but due to the covid-19 pandemic, the realise of the comic was delayed, so I really hope that the virus would be over soon and we fans can finally read the comic.

Another experience of my was a Chinese TV series that was introduced by a friend. Here I'll discuss on how there was a fan war on Weibo regarding the show. Well this was a famous TV series aired during 2019, called <The Untamed>. The success of the show had attracted a lot of fans, and a lot of couple fans (cp粉) of the series started to ship the two main characters together. But due to the series being a BL show, many celebrity fans (唯粉) were unhappy of the shipping. Celebrity fans were afraid that the sexuality of their idol will be misunderstood by the public, while the couple fans wanted more interaction between the two actors in reality to keep the atmosphere of their characters going on. Therefore, the war between two sides begins and even now some fans still do fight on Weibo.

As a fan I really do like to be on social media, to be with a group of people that have a similar interest. But when there is more people gathering around in the same place, conflict between them will definitely happen. Having people with different options together, this is the reason fans are having war on each other, and sometimes even cyber bullying. Therefore to conclude, fandom is a community for fans to share their love for someone or something, and social media is the platform for those communities, not a place for having negative impact.

[stevenuniversetanzanite]

The Angel Among Us (Cordelia X reader) Part 2

(This chapter has been rewritten/ edited since original post)

General Notice: I’m trying to get more works out during this time that is rough for all of us. That being said I am trying to keep it’s quality up.

This is technically a prequel to Fallen Angel (Work in progress), however it can be read as a stand alone series.

Summary:

If your reading as a stand alone: A witch heads back to Miss Robichaux's 20 years after she left in hopes of being a teacher there. The only problem is she hasn’t aged a day.

If your from Fallen Angel: The event’s leading up to Y/N joining Michael and the Cooperative.

I’m trying something with this and I’m not sure how it’s going to work so any feedback will be appreciated whether through comments, or anon asks. I did something similar in my Gone and left your world series were it had ~~~ in it and it either jumped, went to a flashback or dream. I did that here and it’s for the past/dream. 

This was originally going to be three different small chapters but wanted to reduce the number of chapters and decided to explain stuff I couldn’t through the ‘present’ basically context and junk. 

as these parts are split up I can make a post where there all together and link it here if anyone wants. 

Also they are so many parallels from my other series and some weren’t intentional.

Warnings: Slight smut, nightmare, murder and all that good stuff. (Everything is tame)

Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4(will be added when done)

She gave you the job without a second thought, thrilled to have her friend back in her life. This time around, it was different. The way she interacted with you, there was more behind every touch, every word she said. You had danced around your feelings for her from the second you fell for her. You didn't know you were gay; you had never liked anyone before and haven't since. Maybe you weren't. Maybe it was just her. She was the only thing your heart desired. No one else seemed appealing. She was straight, she got married to a man and a vile man at that. No one liked him in Cordelia's close circle, but you were all nice for her sake. However, her mother was always vocal about how he detested the man. She wasn't the hugest fan of you either, but you had something worth wide in her eyes, power.

You weren't one to force your feelings upon people, you didn't want to burden her with the knowledge that her long-time best friend was in love with her. Knowing how she was back then; she would blame herself for you falling for her. You didn't want that. Keeping it a secret was better.

She asked you about your time away, but you were reluctant to tell. It was a blur, nothing notable ever happened or at least that's what you told her. "I spent most of your time at your flat." And some ramblings on about jobs so she didn't grow concerned.

You were offered a job here a few years back by her mother about the time Cordelia was blinded. You jumped at the opportunity but as you went to take the job, the balance of the world shifted. Something dark was living on our earth and growing with power. You tasked yourself with discovering it before it discovered your fellow witches or any other good on the planet.

Something told you that the answer to some of your woes would be found with the source of power. The self-appointment job was a failure and you found yourself at the place you ditched it for.

It had been a couple of weeks since you got hired. You sat cross-legged in Cordelia's room on the love seat marking some of the girls' work. Papers scattered on the ground and the couch you had been sleeping on. Cordelia had yet to give you a bedroom.

"Are you sure you're comfortable on the love seat? Wouldn't you prefer sleeping on the bed?" She would say. Her desire for you to join her on the bed masked in such a way that your tired brain couldn't register as her quietly begging for you to join her. In your head, she was still married. She had mentioned multiple times that her and her ex broke up but a month or two doesn't rewrite years in your mind.

You had finished your marking an hour ago and had moved onto Zoe's to ease her workload. She managed to get behind, having double the classes you had that day as well as having to plan her work next week. You thought it was a nice thing to do. While, you were trying to distract your brain. Stopping working forced you to think and that hadn't gone well for you in the past. Countless nights spent in denial, regretting what could have been if only you had spoken up. Stayed away from the school. Ignored your mother's letter. Those thoughts were less common now. Instead, your mind flooded with thoughts of what was wrong with your body. Why your growth had remained preserved at the ripe age of 18- if that.

You threw another log on the fire before heading back to the marking. You focused on the flames using your pyrokinesis to refuel the fire. You smiled at a successful job done. Another hour passed and you were struggling to keep your eyes open. Strong hands gripped your shoulders.

"You're still up Y/N/N?" You looked over your shoulder to face Cordelia. "It's nearly 3."

You checked your watch. She was right, you didn't notice the time pass.

"I'm marking-"

"Zoe's work. I know, she informed me." Cordelia gathered some of the work on the seat moving it to the floor.

"Don't put them near the unmarked ones," you call out as she does so. She moved them instantly away from the unmarked ones. Taking the seat next to you, she removed the paper and pen from your hands and set it with the other papers. "Delia?"

She shushed you, pulling you closer to her. The two of you stared at the fireplace, the crackling of fire was the only sound in the room. The students were long asleep as the two of you should have been. She shuffled even closer to you. She eased your head into her shoulder, her hand finding it's place in on your head, playing with your locks.

"I appreciate that you offered to help Zoe with her work, but you do need a break too-"

"I get breaks-"

"That don't involve studying magic?" Okay maybe not. She knew you too well. Magic was your life, what else do you need? "You barely get any proper sleep. You sleep on this uncomfortable chair which is too small for you to sleep on."

"It's fine-"

"No, it's not. You're sleeping on my bed tonight. No question."

"Where will you sleep?"

"On my bed."

"But-"

"It's big enough for the two of us and it's not the first time we've shared a bed." You blushed thinking back on the few times you've shared a bed with her. Cordelia chuckled at your reaction. "You're too cute." You got redder. You begged her to stop but she kept going. She eventually ended it when you got too loud but not before she attacked you with tickles. You both were dying of laughter, you were surprised no one came to see what was going on. "Okay, bedtime." She patted your leg before rising from her spot. She laid a handout for you to take it. You yawned. "Come on captain sleepy."

"That was stupid."

"Shut up."

You yawned again, "A goodnight's sleep does sound nice and your bed is really soft."

Cordelia led you into her wardrobe, forcing you to rest on an ottoman while she retrieved pyjamas for you. She came back to you half asleep propped up against the wall. She chuckled not wanting to wake you up. She ended up shaking you awake lightly, handing you the a long sleeve shirt and pants. Without complaint, you changed into the clothes as she got herself ready for bed.

Once tucked comfortably into her bed, you wiggled about to get comfortable. She hopped in beside you, pulling you closer to her before she covered herself in her sheets. You stilled and cleared your mind for a peaceful slumber. As the night progressed you found yourself growing closer to the warm body beside you.

~~~

"Catch her! Stop Y/N!" People shouted as you ran through people's heaven's gate crashing and accidentally destroying them in the process. You jumped from room to room, hiding amongst people's belongings to lose the guards chasing you.

The group zoomed past. You sighed before stepping out of your hideaway. The air was musky, you got the sense you weren't home anymore. Your powers were unhinged, unable to control them was becoming more dangerous than ever. Accidentally transmuting into an unknown location was never good.

You've stepped into the devil's den.

You wandered, getting your bearings. It was all too new to you, how where you expected to follow along?

You stumbled into him, the man you were designed after.

~~~

You screamed, bolting upright in the bed. Your legs bend and move closer to your chest. The think sheets flopped off the top part of your body, pooling at your lap. Your upper torso and head drenched in a layer of sweat. Your hands flew to her head, covering your eyes from the monstrosity you saw in your dream.

The light on the bedside table closest to Cordelia switched on.

It wasn't the first time Cordelia had woken from someone having night terrors. In a school with a wide range of ages, it was more common than you'd think. The younger girls had them the most, as you would expect. Their minds were more active but even the older ones had them from time to time. Some of the girls were unfortunately exposed to trauma while growing up, being unaccepted for who they were as a witch. What she didn't expect was for the reaction to be so jarring. The sudden snap from unconsciousness to conscious was difficult for her body to handle. She needed a second to wrap her brain around the situation which was something she didn't want to do.

"Y/N, look at me."

You shook your head, beginning to rock back and forth. You mumbled out incoherently, describing the beast you saw. It was horrifying.

She asked if she could touch you when you didn't respond she slowly reached out until she made contact. You didn't flinch away (which she took as a good sign) nor did you move towards her touch. Ever so gently, she eased your hands away from your face, revealing your blotchy face and irritated eyes.

Your eyes flickered open, taking in the room around you. The face was gone. Feeling the weight of a hand on your shoulder, you turned Cordelia.

The door opened revealing three girls checking in on their headmistress and her roommate. They heard screams and wanted to make sure nothing bad happened.

"What happened?", "Is everything alright?" the girls asked.

"Nightmare. Can one of you head to the bathroom and run a hot bath?" Mallory sneaked past to fulfil the request. Delicately, Cordelia moved you closer to her. If there was any sign of apprehension, she would stop and resume once you were comfortable. "Shh, everything's okay. You are safe. Nothing's going to hurt you."

You sobbed, occasionally choking while trying to get a breath in.

"I-I s-saw evil," you stuttered out. "H-he greet-ed 'e w-ith o-open-"

What scared you the most was how you felt when gazing at evil itself. There was a void in your soul and bearing witness to the being began the healing process. The wound like while was tender but the pain that came along with it was gone.

"Shh. Take a moment to catch your breath."

"I-I was in hell-"

"It must have been terrifying but your back now, with us," Cordelia said. You knew wasn't trying to be condescending but you felt like she was.

Mallory notified Cordelia when the bath was finished. The supreme thanked the girl. You had calmed down significantly since then. Zoe and the other girl, information anyone who was awoken by your screams that you were okay, and it was safe to go back to bed.

The bathwater was warm against your skin, relieving you of the dirty feeling you can only get from being drenched in sweat. Cordelia remained by your side as you begged her to be though she was reluctant to leave herself.

The times were few and far between when you would freak out as you did tonight. At least in Cordelia's eyes, she rarely had you complain about any major problems or come to her for some level of consolement.

"It felt so... real."

"Dreams usually do."

"I guess I can't get a good sleep even on a good bed."

"So, you liked the bed?"

"I said I liked it before."

"Yeah, you did, didn't you? Would you consider moving to it permanently?"

"You want me to share a bed with you?" Cordelia nodded. You chuckled. "I don't know how you expect me to keep my hands off you- I mean-" Cordelia looked up at you grinning. "Wait, have you purposely not given me a room?"

"You know as well as I do, there are beds to spare."

"You're evil. You forced me to sleep on that couch."

"You chose to sleep there, darling."

"'Darling', what are an old married couple now?"

"Weren't we always?"

"What the fuck Cordelia?"

~~~

You, the 2.0, crafted in his likeness with the removal of his ill-intent. You knew what you were, they didn't bother hiding that. You knew him to be pure evil, corrupter of God's plan.

Free will, something you weren't allowed to have. We were all meant to be subservient to the Lord. He, the morning star, was the first to be cast out of heaven. He was defiant, not agreeing with god. All he would've had to do was simply said "I sinned, I submit, please forgive me", and the matter would've been resolved. But he was too arrogant, feeling too proud to bow down. He used his own logic and blamed God for misguiding him. Why would God give them knowledge if they weren't meant to use it?

~~~

Cordelia had been going on a lot of emergency meetings through your time at the school. Some appeared to be beneficial, like the time she first went and returned with two girls (Queenie and Madison) whom you were informed later on had died under her care. Unbeknown to you, you were replacing one of their jobs.

You heard about the boy's school from the woman who attended but remained in the dark about the specifics, being told it was council business and to "not worry you pretty little head," by Cordelia. You reckoned you had a right to know if it concerned the students or Cordelia's (as your unofficial girlfriend) wellbeing in any way but she denied that it did. You stupidly accepted her answer convinced that she would tell you when something goes awry.

You got on incredibly well with Queenie. You had some of the same favourite tv shows and she had many interesting stories to tell about her time trapped as a ghost in the Hotel Cortez. You happened to be a supernatural nut which explained your love for everything magical. You may have bombarded her with way too many questions about what it was like to be a ghost, people had to pull you away in order for you to leave her alone. She filled you in on her side of attending the school, adding in all the juicy gossip that Zoe and Cordelia left out.

Madison was hesitant to interact with you. You were the young hip teacher that happened to join after she died. You mean she didn't have to be stuck with Cordelia holding them back the whole time? You hadn't interacted with her until the fifth night after your initial introduction. She was in the kitchen raiding the liquor cabinet.

"I wouldn't drink that one if I were you. Cordelia will have your head if you open that one."

"Like I care," she said breaking open the bottle of expensive white wine.

"At least pour me a glass if you aren't going to listen to my warning."

She groaned, pulling out two wine glasses and pouring you both a lot. The two of you talked about everything and nothing. You'd finished the bottle by the time you'd retire for the night. You made sure she made it to bed safely before retiring for the night. You were all giddy by the time you stumbled into Cordelia's room. The woman was bundled up under the blankets with a book in her hand. She took one look at you and shook her head, "Madison?"

"Madison," you confirmed, flopping onto the bed giving Cordelia little time for her to move her legs out of the way. "She drank your wine."

"All of it?"

"I had some too."

"I noticed."

"Told her I'd pay you back for it." You scrambled up, crawling on top of her. "I never told her how," you purred, leaning down and taking Cordelia's lips for yourself. Your tongue tasted of the wine. You took no time building into the passion of the kiss. She moaned, re-adjusting how she rested beneath you. You pulled away, murmuring "Would you like that?"

"Yes," she moaned.

You made your way down her body, removing any fabric that got in your path. You paused, seeing the wound on her abdomen. The skin surrounding it was irritated and bruised. What you assumed was a scab concaved into her. Cordelia whined asking why you had stopped. In need for more she forgot about the mark of her fading on her body. She'd hidden it well from you this far, always having that area dressed.

You shook off all the questions you wanted to ask her, instead giving her what she is owed. No reason to ruin the night for the sake of feeding your curiosity. You took your time liking and sucking the right places to turn her into a bumbling mess beneath you. She cried out for more attention. She recalled hearing the click of the door locking but knowing it wasn't her to do it. She wondered if you were going to soundproof the room too.

"Scream for me baby. Scream so the whole coven can hear."

In the little time the two of you had been a thing, you'd kept any PDA behind the close door of your shared bedroom. Anything fun you had, the noise was kept to a minimum or the room was soundproofed in advance. All those times, Cordelia had been in charge. She didn't want to ruin her reputation and didn't want any of the girls to know what she does in her spare time. You, in your tipsy state, was overcome with a newfound level of confidence. It was as though you were someone else feeding off your need to please the woman you'd been in love with for years.

The next morning you were down bright and earlier. Your chipper self poured a cup of coffee before making your way to where Zoe, Queenie and Madison were. They all turn their attention to you the moment you walk in. "I paid her back," you said, directed to Madison as you took her seat at the table. Madison looked slightly horrified (and maybe even impressed?) at you.

"How long do you think it will take her to come downstairs?"

"She's already late."

"I wouldn't expect her to be down any time soon, I wore her out last night."

"Too much detail," Zoe said. The other two laughed.

Fifteen minutes before the students were expected to be getting up, Cordelia rushed into the room. She tried to play it off as calm and collective but she was stressing about being behind schedule.

"Sorry about being late, I slept through my alarm."

"Didn't you get much sleep last night?" Queenie asked, her and Madison were trying to suppress their laugh.

Cordelia deadpanned to you, "You told them, didn't you?"

"Didn't have too, we heard it all," Madison said.

"Oh God, the students. Y/N, what were you thinking?"

"Delia, they're all old enough to know about sex."

"It doesn't mean they should be forced to hear that." You got up and headed to the kitchen before she could scold you any further. "Where are you going?"

"To get dressed, students will be up soon."

~~~

You resonated with his actions and logic, maybe because you were him in some way. That's the problem with the likeness, the blurred line between who you are and who you are seen to be. If he betrayed then so would you?

Human's fascinated you, the ability to come back from sin and earn there place in the holy kingdom. It wasn't forced but advised. Sin still existed and you could choose to break the 10 commandments. Choice. You wanted to choose your life not be bound to a memory of someone else and forced through the wrongdoings as if it were prophesied.

He wasn't like you expected, rude or demeaning. He was cunning, motivated by ill-intent, but who's to judge if it's morally good or bad? Those concepts confused you, bad could be good in another's eyes.

The man knew who you were exactly, rumours of your creation spread fast in the spirit world. "Sister. I didn't expect to meet you so soon. I would have prepared for your arrival." He offered his land to you, to help rule his throne. He had bigger plans for the end times than he let on. He fed into your desire, the same confusion he had experienced at the beginning of his rebellion.

He offered you whatever you could have wanted in order to steal you from the grips of your creator. "I want to understand the purpose of all of this. Why are humans so important? Why are expected to follow subserviently?." A life of my own.

"Then go, seek out your own answers and when you get bored or don't like the answers that you find, there's a place for you here."

"How do I get there? I don't have control-" You'd gotten there by mistake, you couldn't your powers yet. The angels expected you to which is how the ruckus in heaven began.

Think of suddenly being were you want to go and step forward. You'll be incognito unless you want to be seen. No angel has had long term exposure to humans, who knows the damages it could cause.

~~~

It was the first time Myrtle Snow had gotten some time alone with Cordelia after their arrival back from their council trip. She wasn't happy about Cordelia's decision to allow a male student at Hawthorne to compete in The Seven Wonders. Cordelia informed her that she'd seen the future and it appeared grim. At some point she knew she would have to identify her successor but she needed to buy herself some time to figure out who.

Myrtle mentioned Mallory, and how she witnessed the girl completely reversed the wounds of a dead doe and brought it back to its youth. They couldn't deny Langdon's power and though she doubted he was the next in line, he could be what brings the end.

Cordelia admitted her powers are growing weaker and feeling herself dying. She told her Aunt that she hadn't told anyone about her dwindling power except her.

"It's sooner or later Y/N is going to figure it out," Cordelia said. She feared telling you, you already noticed the markings her sickness brought along. You knew too much about magic, sooner or later you'd question her and her state. One of the perks of being the supreme was perfect health. Those mysterious marks don't match that. "I've tried to keep her out of all of this- I don't want her to get hurt." She knew you were more than capable of looking after yourself, but she still felt obligated to protect you from the world.

Myrtle brought up how painful it was to watch you swooning over her for years and it was nice to see that you get a break. The underlying threat that it will be cut short hung in the air but remained unsaid. Cordelia never having mentioned you two being together assumed she'd heard from one of the others.

Mallory interrupted them and told Cordelia that her two o'clock is here to see her.

You hadn't seen Cordelia much that day, having back to back classes, a doctor's appointment then marking once you got back. You'd worked through dinner, not realising what time it was until it was eight and your stomachs rumbling snapped you out of your concentrating state. You had one paper left on witch history. As much as you loved the history of Salem witches, you knew none of these girls cared enough to write a paper on it. There all here to improve their magic ability, history isn't going to help with that. You tossed the paper onto the rest deciding dinner was in order. Marking can be left until tomorrow.

You found a tupperware container full of left overs in the fridge. You scooped a helping of the pasta onto a plate before shoving it in the microwave. You felt two hands wrap around your waist. You chuckled and relaxed slightly.

"Missed you today baby," Cordelia said snuggling into your back. You told her you missed her back. You yawned. "Were you asleep?" she said referring to the robe you changed into when you got home from the doctors as well as your yawn.

"Had a doctor's appointment and had to mark after so I decided to get comfortable."

"Doctor's appointment? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, it was a checkup. I needed to see if my medication was working. They're giving me a higher dosage."

"I don't remember you being on medication."

"I've been on them for years. Some problem with my blood. I can't remember the specifics on the top of my head." You changed the topic, the last making you uncomfortable. "You're being more cuddly than you usually are in public. What happened to keep it in the bedroom."

"That went out the window when they heard us having sex."

"You have to admit you enjoyed it."

"I did," Cordelia admitted. "You could say, I owe you."

"Not tonight. I'm worn out. I'm going to go to bed after dinner."

"I might have to finish off my work early so I can have a cuddle session before bed."

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'll see you soon."

"See you soon."

Cordelia ran off to complete any work she had remained so she could spent her night with you.

You finished your meal and headed up your bedroom. You yawned as you entered the room. The ground felt muddy. Your eyes snapped open. You stood frozen in a forest of trees. A lone gas station stood with a mile of road on either side. "What the fuck-" you rubbed your eyes. This couldn't be real. A man stood there pumping gas into his car, nothing out of the ordinary. You reached for your pocket. You had none. You're in a robe. Outside. With nothing underneath. This hasn't happened before and hopefully never again.

You shouldn't be here, how did you get here? No level of teleportation would have gotten you this far without harm, this place wasn't near the school.

You step forwards to make your way towards the gas station. Maybe he could help you, tell you where you were so you could call Cordelia and explain what happened. A glove hand slipped over your mouth, another around your waist. You were tugged towards a body. You thrashed about trying to escape when the person spoke.

"I'm not going to hurt you Y/N." You said something but it was muffled by the hand. "I'll let you go in a second but you need to see something first."

Another car pulled up and a woman stepped out. The two interacted before the woman ended up cutting his Achille's heel. He collapsed onto the ground and she slit his throat as well. To finish him off she poured gasoline on him and set him on fire. The woman pulled away in her own car. You watched as the man's flesh, burnt to dust. You screamed, cried out watching the scene unfold. You were helpless to do anything but watch on in horror.

"That man's name was John Henry Moore. He taught at the Warlock school, you know the one. He was going to rat out his brother warlocks for treason. His key's are unharmed by the fire. You have one of two choices, drive back to the school and tell your precious supreme that a warlock was murdered and have to explain why you were out here in the middle of the night or you could drive away, dump the car and not tell a soul." Both hands let go of you.

"Why did you make me watch that? Who are you?"

You spun around but no one was there. You decided to test what the person said was true. You crouch by the pile of ash. John Henry Moore, you never heard of him. That wasn't surprising, he taught at a warlock school. You weren't familiar with too many, you were always taught you were superior to them so you never bothered to look into them. You hovered your hand above the ashes, concentrating on who they used to belong to. Come on Y/N, you can do it, you repeated in your head. You took a deep breath in and out.

Information filled your mind along with snippets of the man's face. The person was right.

You snatched the keys from the pile of ash and hopped into the car. What were you doing? You can't steal a dead man's car. He isn't going to need it, you reasoned. You start up the car, listening to it rev. The camera's, they would have seen you hop into the car. With a flick of the wrist you erase any record of you being here before speeding away. You didn't know what to do. How were you meant to explain why you were in the middle of nowhere. You didn't even know where you were going.

"Where did you go so late?" Cordelia asked as you stumbled through the front door.

"Grocery store."

"In your robe?"

"Yeah."

"How did you get there? The van's still parked-"

"You ask too many questions," you snapped. She was taken aback. "I've been through hell today. Can we just leave it there?" You didn't give her a second to respond before you headed towards the back of the school. She followed you, stopping when you did. Your back faced her.

You'd changed energies since you entered the academy. You were no longer the sweet and tired woman she was planning on spending her night with. Now you were agitated. You rarely found a reason to snap at her, she worried something happened to you. She let your behaviour slide, not wanting to push you any further and cause a scene at one thirty in the morning.

"We have a new student, Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt. I put her in your class and organised a one on one with you and her today to get her comfortable being here."

You hummed fiddling with a pack of cigarettes you picked up along the way. You never smoked before in your life but the urge was all too tempting tonight. "Hmm~" you hummed, your mouth around the stick of death that was between your lips. Your hands fumbled about for the lighter you bought. Seemingly misplacing it, you groaned.

"I'm glad you're safe," Cordelia mused. "When you disappeared after you said you were going to bed, I worried." When you wouldn't pay her any attention, more focused on what you were doing she circled you. "What are you- Where did you get those?" She tried to take the cigarettes away from you but you moved away. "You don't smoke- how? Why?"

"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight," you said around your unlit cigarette, stepping outside and shutting the door with your powers.

You sat there until the sun rose. The birds chirping sounded like ringing in your ears. Visions of the man burning was all you could see. The hand around your waist and mouth, holding you in place. The helplessness you felt. What kind of witch were you? You had the chance to tell Cordelia where you were, what you say and you decided against it? Who were you? Not yourself.

Your robe slipped off your shoulders revealing your back to the cold day and showcasing your white ink tattoo of angel wings. You got paid 50 bucks to do it back in the day, now it's just scarring of the tattoo you once got.

You were on your third cigarette. You took another puff, missing the sound of the back door opening under the screams in your mind. A tap on your shoulder sent you zapping elsewhere. Landing on the other side of the garden, you quickly adjusted your robe, covering up your back and naked front. Your robe must have untied itself during the night. You dropped your cigarette butt stumping it out with your bare foot.

"Mal? What are you doing up so late?"

"It's 9 in the morning," she notified you. "Cordelia told me to talk to you after you didn't head up this morning."

"I told her I was going to sleep on the couch," she probably assumed the one in her room. Mallory walked up to you sitting down beside where you teleported to. "We don't need a mediator-"

"Go and talk to her. Assure her that there is nothing to worry about. She spent the couple hours you were missing tearing the place to shreds." You chuckled at the last bit. "She also wanted me to remind you, you had that class with Coco."

"Who?"

"The new student."

"Crap, yeah. When's that start?"

"Three minutes ago."

"Shit- you distract the girl, I'll quickly freshen up."

She nodded. You grabbed your belongings before teleporting upstairs to clean yourself up. You scrambled through your belongings looking for something quick to change into. You opted for a long maxi floral dress with your platform boots. You douse yourself in perfume before sprinting downstairs. You ran past Cordelia on her way to her office, she went to speak when you said, "Meeting late." and continued on your way.

You found Mallory sitting alongside another girl. You apologised for your tardiness, and greeted the girl with a handshake.

"Your hands are cold," she commented.

"I'm well aware. So as you're aware I'm meant to so you the ropes. If you are scared, it's normal."

You dreaded the time your class your one on one would end but when it did, you were happy that the new student was at least a little more comfortable being here. She reminded you of yourself when younger. No you weren't rich, you were scared of being in a place you didn't belong and not wanting to waste the teachers time. Any witch no matter how little their powers are deserved to be here.

Once you were done you were requested to go to your girlfriends office. You didn't bother knocking as she expected you. The door squeaked, "Your door needs some oil," you commented.

"I'll make sure someone does that later-"

"Oh, I can do it. It's no problem. I'll do it now-" You deflected.

"Leave the door. It's not important." Cordelia rose from her desk chair and moved to the set of chairs in front of her desk.She chose to do this to show you were not in trouble and to remove the desk from between the both of you. You'd both use it as a barrier to hide behind. She gestured you to take the other chair. You slowly shuffled to your designated spot, your platforms scraping across the floor. Normally you would have earned a look of disapprove from your girlfriend for ruining the school's flooring. Today was different, her pet peeves were tossed out the window, replaced with an emotion you had yet to determined.

She didn't speak until you were settled in your chair. Your eyes floated everywhere never focusing on one place and definitely not on her. She realised she wasn't going to get your undivided attention, it was for the best, you never made eye contact when you were in a stressful situation. The woman allowed you to get away with pushing her away far too long. She'd let you escape from her for years during her marriage or the nights back in high school were she'd gotten a smidgen to close. She saw why now, it was as clear as day. You'd pushed her away to save yourself heartbreak. It took her until she had the sight to figure out she was being cheated on and still she couldn't figure out how strong your feelings where for her. You were pushing her away again but this time she couldn't understand why, it wasn't like the last time you did so, you haven't left her yet. It was similar to moments in high school were she was getting a little experimental, bi-curious even, but you weren't having it. You didn't want to be second, you wanted the gold. Had you figured out her secret, that her days were numbered. You'd seen the markings. You could be bracing yourself for the pain, cutting off the ties before they were snapped from you. Self induced pain was easier to deal with.

"How did the session with Coco go?" It was best to ease into the conversation, make it seem normal, Cordelia thought. You both knew it was coming so there was no point in delaying the inevitable but scaring you off wasn't the end goal.

"The Vanderbilt girl is super nice. Is Vanderbilt or Pierre a better nickname? Pierre is a masculine name and she isn't very- Vanderbilt it is." You rambled on. "I think I did a pretty good job at convincing her she belongs here."

"I knew you'd be the perfect one for that."

"Yeah~"

"I want to talk about last night-" you went to interrupt but you were silenced. "I know you don't want to talk about it but that's what couples do, they communicate so we can move past it."

You nodded, your focus now stilled on the left leg of Cordelia's chair. There was a paper clip resting next to it, bent slightly out of shape. You wanted to pick it up and put it with the rest or at least fiddle with it to distract your mind from what she was asking you to do. Talking was a chore, why would you need to talk, can't she just read your mind, or the energy you're radiating? Her idea wasn't a good one. Emotions are meant to be expressed outwardly and if not, they should remain to one's self.

"You said you were going to bed. You could have given me a heads up or texted me that you had to go out."

"I did head to bed." Your voice was small. Your hands fiddle with the light fabric of your attire. "I didn't plan on going out... It kind of happened."

"You going somewhere doesn't usually just happen. You have to actively seek out doing it."

"I-I teleported- I think. Whatever happened wasn't intentional."

"You teleported? Where?"

"I don't-" Should you tell the truth? "A park, an hour away. I went to the grocery store on the way back and picked up-"

"The cigarettes. You know what I'm going to ask you to do with them." You shook your head. She laid her hand out. You pulled them out of your clothes pocket and handed them over. "I don't want you to get addicted to these. They ruin lives and I love you too much to watch you waste it away on this." You nodded in recognition. "Did anything happen while you were out?"

You shook your head, "Nothing happened-"

"You transmutated far, are you sure you didn't get hurt?" You nodded. "Can I have a look over?"

"You just want an excuse to see me naked, don't you?"

"Always, but it is strange that you are developing new powers now or at least of that strength."

"Developing them now? Are you calling me old?" you joked.

"You're older than me." Yeah, you were. "What are you, like 905?"

"Hey! I'm not immortal."

"You could have convinced me otherwise."

"We both know that wouldn't be a good thing. We both know the story of Scáthach. "

"Are you talking about My Roanoke Nightmare? I thought you hated that show."

As much as Cordelia hated horror, you were a fanatic- not because you enjoyed the film, you loved critiquing it, ripping their use of the supernatural. You often referenced horror movies and how they were wrong in class or when casually talking to Cordelia. Then the show My Roanoke nightmare was popular, you'd binged watch it and won't shut up about the show for weeks. Cordelia knew everything about the show without seeing it. She eventually did, so she could better understand what was irritating you so much.

"I do, but Audrey Tindall is hot."

"I hope neither of us ever met her." The both of you chuckled.

"No, but seriously. She's real or at least what they say about her is. She gained immortality from ancient gods. We both know you don't make deals with ancient gods, we teach that as part of the curriculum. You don't accept gifts from deities and all that jazz. It's witchcraft 101. All I know is if I had a choice between being normal and being immortal, i'd choose normally any day. Hell I'd probably give it up. Imagine living a life where you couldn't get attached to people because you know that one day they are going to die and you'll be alone. You can met new people but you know that they are going to die too. It's a long circle of death until the world explodes or hell raises over maybe even after that. It would get lonely. Plus, I'd lose you and I couldn't handle that."

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." At least not for now, not today, Cordelia thought.

[lovefrombegonia]

My journey with BL based Cdramas:

(THESE ARE ALL MY PERSONAL OPINIONS, I AM NOT EXPERT)

(very long, I was just bored and wanted to share my thoughts)

For the last few months, I have watched quite a few BL based cdramas, starting with Guardian, which was rather disappointing after some 15 episodes. Now, although I enjoy BL works, I can't continue watching a series just because of that element. It has to be an overall good drama too. If it wasn't for the acting skills of the lead actors played by Zhu Yilong and Bai Yu that got me atleast invested enough to end the drama. I still speed watched so many scenes.

I was particularly impressed by Zhu Yilong coz he had double roles to do, and he had me genuine believe that Shen Wei and White Ghost (can't remember the exact name) were different people. They had so many of these little moments that I enjoyed. I heard that a lot of production issues and censorship hindered this drama. I felt sad hearing that coz the story definitely had potential. You can definitely notice their impact on the drama. The direction, design, script, audio design, acting, editing, effects...I could go on and on. I still finished it and appreciate the efforts of the team coz they had to do a lot in a low budget. Guardian was bad but it had its fair share of reasons. They did whatever they could despite all the problems they faced. They also introduced me to a really good novel which I have finished half way, atleast.

Then came The Untamed and it was definitely a huge improvement. The lead cast were all good and the actors Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo did a wonderful job. Xiao Zhan, especially, played Wei Wuxian really well. I really felt for this character. I can't imagine another actor playing this role now. But Wang Yibo definitely impressed me more because he got such a stoic role to play and yet he pulled it off. Every small expression and movement from him conveyed something deep. It was so interesting to notice him whenever he was on screen.

The Untamed too had its fair share of technical issues with questionable editing choices and direction. Out of the immediate lead cast of the major clans in the MDZS world, the acting was bad to average. CGI was bad and the action choreography was laughable sometimes.

But what truly made The Untamed good for me was the story...not the script, the story behind the script. The characters, irrespective of whether the acting could justify the writing or not, were complex, intriguing and three-dimensional. The BL part was already long resolved by the mid-series but characters like Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang really pushed the plot well. The fact that their mysteries were investigated and solved by Lan Zhan and Wei Ying, such lovable characters was almost perfect. The Untamed really set the bar high up when it comes to writing characters and major props goes to MXTX, the author of the original novel. After this, I couldn't imagine a better BL based drama than The Untamed. Considering all the censorship and production, their team did a fantastic job and no one has any right to deny it.

Then came the announcement of The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty and Winter Begonia. When I saw the promo videos, I knew production is not gonna be a problem. They seemed to have good budget and the cast looked good too, especially in Winter Begonia. The actors weren't, let's say, typical "pretty doll-like" type of actors that BL dramas always tend to cast for some reason. I don't understand why they do that tbh. It doesn't improve anything in my eyes, especially when the make-up is awfully noticeable. I think that's because this is what majority audience like. The Untamed and Guardian did that too but at a much tamed level (pun intended) so that it didn’t look bad and in their case it was justified coz their main characters weren't exactly like us "muggles". They were either supernatural beings or spiritual cultivators. But the actors in WB looked naturally good looking. It piqued my interest.

Then I started both the dramas almost at the same time on iqiyi tv app. Now, as someone who prefers wuxia and historical dramas much more, I was expecting to like SOMD much more than WB. Oh how I was wrong!! And it didn't happen just because SOMD turned out sadly disappointing but also because WB turned out to be one the most beautiful dramas I have ever watched.

 To keep it short with Sleuth, let me just summarize, except for the eunuch character, I didn't care for anyone else. He was the only good actor and interesting character. The acting of the two leads was quite underwhelming. Now, I can accept that if the story is good but damn! Their script is all over the place! I couldn't continue beyond ep11. The production is good and everything looks pretty but that's it. Right now, it's on hiatus on my watch list. If someone is watching it, please tell me if the story improves in future, otherwise it is a no from me.

Let me just, all this is my personal opinion. If others enjoy this drama then I am really glad you do. I wish I could do too. As a huge fan of Jackie Chan, I really wanted to like this drama and I tried. But it just isn't for me.

Now...Winter Begonia...sigh...oh! The beauty and depth of this drama and its colourful and intriguing characters. I am head over heels for WB. There are many reasons for that. The plot is engaging. The story is good but what truly makes this drama is the characters, specifically, the main leads Shang Xirui played by Yin Zheng and Cheng Fengtai played by Huang Xiaoming. The direction, bgm, editing, visuals, cinematography, acting, production, and the writing range from good to top-notch. I have already become an admirer of Yin Zheng, Huang Xiaoming and Chermaine Sheh. I am going to write a whole new post about WB but let me just say this.. If you're not watching Winter Begonia then you're missing out on an intensely beautiful drama.

Stay safe my fellow drama lovers!!

[megalony]

Family ties- Part 8

This is the next part of my dad! Ben Hardy series which I hope you will all like, feedback is much appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) were single parents but they are trying to raise their kids together as one big family. Now they’re finally having a baby of their own, but that proves hard when there’s a problem with their baby.

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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Ben's head tipped down as he dug his nails into the counter, his back arching out as he tried to breathe properly.

One week.

One week that all three kids had been on their upmost best behaviour and acted like Ben had never seen before. None of them started fights with each other or squabbled, there was no shouting or screaming, no tantrums or unhappy fits. No hitting each other, no lashing out, they all went to bed when they were told, they didn't fuss or mess about when eating, they were golden angels that made Ben feel uneasy with how good they were being.

That had all ended now. For one week they had been angels for Ben because (Y/n) wasn't there and Ben figured they were all still worried that she might be ill or unwell. But now that they had been to see (Y/n) a few times and knew she was okay, they were fine with going back to messing around, making a mess and winding each other up.

Ben had been getting up extra early in the morning to get all three of them ready and take them to school, preschool and daycare on time. He then went to the hospital to see (Y/n) and his mum helped with the school round and picking them up afterwards. Ben couldn't seem to get into a proper routine without (Y/n) here because things were hectic. He had been taking turns staying home and going to stay at the hospital and it was making bedtime harder because none of them wanted to go to bed on time now.

It was now that Ben was realising just how much he needed (Y/n) around and it made him worry how either of them were going to cope once their next boy was born.

If this operation worked, things were going to get a lot harder because they would be moving between the hospital and home more often and they would need to be at the hospital a lot to make sure the baby was okay. If, God forbid, something happened to him, Ben didn't know what would happen because being home with the kids wasn't going to make things easier or help if they were grieving for the one they had lost.

"What are you two doing?" Ben's voice boomed through the living room when he walked through to see his two youngest kids, wondering what on Earth they could be squabbling about now when they had fought over almost everything Ben could think of.

It was getting late now and Ben wanted to get them all ready for bed but only Hugo was complying tonight. He was already in his room watching a movie in his pyjamas but Ellie and Cody were refusing to even get into their pyjamas and were both still downstairs in the living room. Ben had taken all three kids to see (Y/n) after school and he thought they would have calmed down after that but it didn't work. They were as good as gold in the hospital but once he got them back home they were back to their hyperactive states and winding one another up relentlessly.

"Cody!" Ben snapped the moment he watched the elder sibling suddenly reach out and push Ellie over as she was running in front of the sofa.

Ben winced the moment Ellie's scream tore through his ears before she suddenly let out a wail that shook his nerves. His eyes darted between the two kids, noticing Cody looked paralysed as if he just realised what he had done but there was still a rather grumpy, stubborn look on his face.

Heading over to the pair, Ben bent down on his knees in front of Ellie who had Cody's weighted blanket in her arms that cushioned part of the blow when she fell but it didn't stop her head from whacking into the leg of the sofa. Reaching his arms out, Ben gently picked Ellie up and sat her down in front of him so he could look at her head. There was a red mark beginning to form on the corner of her temple that he guessed was going to bruise.

"Cody go and get ready for bed." Ben's voice was monotone as he pointed for him to go upstairs. Ben honestly couldn't be bothered to go through the charade of getting Cody to apologise which would take a long time, then get him to sit on the stairs for a time out. It was late and they all needed to go to bed.

"M-my bl...blanket." Cody dared to reach out for the blanket that was resting unused on the floor between Ben and Ellie but the look on Ben's face made him stop dead. It was evident that Cody had pushed his sister because she had his weighted blanket. It was something Cody had for his autism and it helped him but he was possessive over his things, he didn't like anyone but Ben or (Y/n) touching his stuff and he especially didn't want Ellie taking it and trying to use it.

"You just pushed your sister, you're not having the blanket tonight now go and get ready for bed because I'm not in the mood." It didn't matter that Cody's blanket was to help him, he didn't normally sleep with the blanket and he wasn't having it after what he did. It would be like rewarding him for doing something wrong.

"Daddy." Ellie whined, reaching her arms out for him to which he scooped her up and got to his feet, tucking the blanket under his arm as he watched Cody scurry off to get upstairs.

"Princess, you know this is Cody's blanket, you can't take it and tease him like that it's not fair." Ben sighed when she didn't respond, she simply tucked her face into his neck and curled up against him, trying to stop herself crying but she was beginning to get a headache.

Ben didn't care how early it was, he was tired and he still had to get up early in the morning anyway, he was going to bed as soon as he made sure all three kids were asleep. It was a bit easier recently when he was staying home because Ellie refused to sleep in her own bed, she stayed with Ben since (Y/n) wasn't there so Ben couldn't refuse and say there was no room. Ben had to deal with both Ellie and Cody sharing the bed with him last night when Cody couldn't sleep either.

Ben didn't remember what time he went to sleep, he simply knew that as soon as Ellie had fallen asleep next to him, he had followed soon after. Opening his eyes, the blond tried to work out his surroundings and see what time it was. Normally around two in the morning either Ellie or Cody were up and awake needing the bathroom and Ben never slept the whole night through, he was normally awake three or four times during the night. It was built into his system to wake due to the kids when he'd normally have to get up and see to them.

Glancing his eyes around, Ben's tired eyes soon found Ellie's form laid sideways on her side of the bed, her pillow leaning up against Ben's chest. He usually found her lying at the bottom of the bed in an awkward position which was the main reason he and (Y/n) got her to wear onesies or thick pyjamas. So that if she moved and the covers came off, she wouldn't be cold when she slept.

Ben slowly ran his fingers through Ellie's hair when she started to shuffle and wriggle around, trying to calm her down so that she didn't wake up. He closed his eyes after he checked the clock to see it was one in the morning. He could catch roughly another hour or so before one of the kids woke up or his internal alarm told him it was time to be awake.

He kept raking his fingers methodically through Ellie's hair, but the moment he felt like his mind was close to switching off, his mind jolted awake at the sound of his phone. He hit his free hand out against the side table until his hand curled around his phone, a sigh passing through his lips when he realised Ellie was now awake due to the sound. Ellie slowly wriggled around so she was looking up at Ben, her tired eyes trying to open and properly focus on Ben as she wondered what was going on.

Ben struggled to see the screen from how much he had to squint from the brightness. He barely managed to figure out that it was (Y/n)'s picture lighting up the screen of his phone.

Why was (Y/n) calling him at one in the morning?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm not ready." (Y/n) mumbled the words quietly but they sounded so loud inside Ben's head when he thought them over and over in his mind. He bit down on his lip as he dug his nails into the wooden arms of the chair he was slouched in, trying not to let his legs start jittering since they were propped up on the bed.

He had had to get his mum to come down at two in the morning and stay with the kids so he could come down to the hospital and be with (Y/n) and he got here at half two in the morning and had been here for two hours now.

The baby's heartbeat had started to drop and become uneven when (Y/n) started to feel contractions and for the last two hours, the couple had been waiting to know what they were meant to do now. The baby's heartbeat was being monitored but it was still clearly rather uneven and not as fast as Ben thought it should be. The doctors had given (Y/n) some medication to try and sort out the baby's heart and calm him down because if his heart was still uneven by the time they decided to do the C-section then being born might make him more distressed.

The doctors didn't know if the contractions were false ones or if they were going to lead to labour so it seemed safer to wait and see what happened and then if (Y/n) was going into labour now, they would get everything ready.

(Y/n) just knew this was it, she had known something was wrong last time and this time around they weren't offering her any medication to stop it so she knew their boy was going to be born today. Their due date wasn't for another two and a half weeks but at least he wasn't going to be premature at this stage. (Y/n) knew the longer he stayed with her, the safer he was going to be because right now he was here and he was okay. The moment he was born he was going to be snatched from them and cut open to try and save him. They wouldn't even be allowed to hold him.

"Sweetheart... if he's ready, we're going to have to go with it." Ben knew he didn't feel ready either, he wasn't even close to comprehending that today could be the day he lost a child. But if their boy was ready to be born, they had to try and prepare themselves for what was going to happen next because they couldn't stop this from happening. It was bound to happen sooner or later and it was happening now.

"We won't be able to hold him."

They had talked to the doctor when (Y/n) came into the hospital and he talked them through how everything was going to work. As soon as he was born, he was going to be rushed to the operating room to fix his heart in case there were any problems or he couldn't survive with his heart like that outside of the womb. They weren't going to be given two seconds to even look at him let alone hold him, he was going to be taken away from them like they didn't deserve him.

If he passed away on the operating table, they wouldn't have had the chance to hold him first.

"We can hold him when he's better." Ben knew what she was referring to but he wasn't going to go into that topic. He couldn't bear the thought of imagining that he couldn't hold his boy whilst he was alive, Ben didn't want to have the first time he held their baby to be when they were passed away.

"He might not get better-"

"If we think like that what's the point of this? Why are we doing this if we're just going to believe it won't do any good? This operation is going to help him, that's why we're doing this."

If they just kept thinking that this wasn't going to work then there was no point in them having gone through this pregnancy if they thought it wasn't going to work. They may as well have gone through with the abortion because they were still thinking that their boy wasn't going to survive. The operation was to save him, that was the entire point of being in the hospital now and being monitored. Ben couldn't do anything but hope for the best and he wanted (Y/n) to think the same way.

When Ben noticed tears welling in (Y/n)'s eyes he dropped his feet from the bed and reached over to take her hand in his own. He didn't mean to come across as rude or uncaring because he knew she wanted to talk about these things. But right now he couldn't face it. When their boy was born and the operation was done they would know where they stand and Ben would talk about anything under the sun if (Y/n) wanted.

"Baby, I'm sorry-"

"No, I- I think my waters broke." (Y/n) tugged on Ben's hand as her wide, frightened eyes locked with his own when her head turned in his direction.

Grabbing the hem of the sheets, Ben tossed the sheets back over (Y/n)'s legs to reveal her stomach and torso. His teeth clamped down on his lip as he quickly pressed the emergency button when he noticed she was right. This surely meant that they were actually going into labour this time and they couldn't wait any longer. If they waited the contractions would get worse and their boy was going to be in danger. They couldn't have him being born now or the contractions because they could cause his heart to rupture.

Now that (Y/n)'s waters were broken it meant there wasn't anything to protect him and when he started to move he could cause some damage to himself.

"He's moving."

Pushing himself out of the chair, Ben sat on the edge of the bed, resting one hand over (Y/n)'s on her stomach as his other hand moved to cradle the side of her face. He could tell by the shaking in her higher-pitched voice that she was beginning to panic and that wasn't going to do them any favours.

"Hey, hey it's alright. He's bound to wriggle and that's okay because you're not going to be in labour for any longer so he'll be safe." Ben rested his forehead against her own and slowly brushed away her tears with the pad of his thumb.

They couldn't stop him moving around and as much as they didn't want him to right now, it wasn't that bad. Her waters had only just broken so the doctors could swiftly get (Y/n) into an operating room and their boy would be born very soon. And when he was, he would be taken care of and so would (Y/n), as long as his heart was stable enough when he was born and when he was given the anaesthetic then everything would be alright.

"Sshh, it's okay." Ben hushed, kissing the corner of her mouth just as he heard the door opening, signalling that a nurse or even a doctor had come to their aid.

"D-don't leave me." (Y/n) whispered, her eyes darting over to look at the nurse before a tidal wave of tears left her eyes that Ben tried to brush away. In an hour or two, (Y/n) wouldn't be pregnant anymore and that thought scared her more than anything else in the world. She and Ben wanted this baby, they wanted their boy so badly because he was actually theirs instead of just joining their families together. They wanted him and they wanted him to be okay. (Y/n) wished she could be pregnant for longer because it meant everything was okay.

The moment their boy was born everything was going to change, and (Y/n) knew deep down she wasn't ready for any changes to happen.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby."

[uraharabyakuya]

Rant: ChenQingLing is a disgrace.

Disclaimer: this is a rant, and it’s antiCQL. So those who like it, pls ignore and refrain from posting your counter arguments to me. I just want to vent my displeasure of this live action and only welcome those who agree with me to comment and share.

Being a massive fan of MDZS, I just have to get this off my chest. I am sick of all these brainwashing and gaslighting by so called “fans” of the original work who are singing high praises for this shambles of an adaptation.

The live action series should be ashamed of themselves because they’re simply using the popularity and following from the franchise and totally disrespecting the core of the story and characters. Before these nincompoops come and wax lyrical about adaptations being different from the source material, there is an obvious difference between a genuine adapatation to screen whereby the major plot lines are maintained, the core stories are maintained, the character histories are maintained and superfluous or extrapolated materials are minimised, also where there are obvious gaps of non-explained or non-elaborated space only is where things are created and imagined. Whereas a rubbish excuse of an adaptation is what CQL has done. Because what it did was to use the characters names, take the fantasy world setting and cool elements, and then totally walk over the storyline by completely meshing and mixing and stirring everything and everyone into a big pot of dog poo. And testament to them just using the franchise’s popularity to milk money and attention is by completely unashamedly BL-bait with all the WangXian interactions including many that are either not in the book or extras, or not in the right context or scene, or completely nonexistent and made up. And then the shameless tag that it’s just a platonic bromance since censorship in China wouldn’t allow this. Right.

So let’s talk about the plot. So WWX is not some grandmaster of demonic cultivation since it has already been going on behind the scenes with Xue Yang casually helping WRH practise some hardcore demonic cultivation and the fact that the Tiger Stygian Amulet is just some relic that’s been around for ages. Nothing to do with WWX’s ingenuity and talent for harnessing the resentful energy stored in that sword found at the TuLuXuanWu cave. Then apparently the TianNu statue that comes to life was already something that he and LWJ had encountered before in their youth whilst they go along to hunt for the Amulet pieces. And then WQ apparently is able to influence the zombified with a flute like instrument anyway. And then apparently Lan Yi and WWX’s mum knew each other cos nothing spells more destined love than when your respective previous generation also had some sort of bond and connection. And the bunnies were really reared by her so not a sweet little homage of the Wangxian love. And the forehead ribbon is not just ugly aesthetics wise but LWJ can’t decide if he’s steadfast about it or he is nonchalant about taking it off and tying it onto WWX’s wrist even when he was not intoxicated. And then WWX was already using some unexplained paper puppet powers which was apparently not seen as demonic cultivation in his youth to mess about, and he apparently could manipulate LWJ quite easily to get him drunk. And when things that are not canon like LXC and JGY they just had to make their first meeting so obviously charged with innuendo. And then WQ since the actress invested in the series, had to be important, so she is given some all so noble duty of being the good guy in the bad camp who is doing stuff that she doesn’t want to but she is still good and should be liked though she’s still a bad guy nonsense trope. So she goes to GuSu to get the amulet piece for WRH, because only when he gets the piece will she be able to somehow bring WN away. And WN was a great enough character both alive and dead as the Ghost General with his design from the source material, but no, they want to embellish it that he’s afflicted with some condition that makes him susceptible to being possessed and taken over by evil spirits. Wtf. And naturally, WQ should somehow capture JC’s eye, because why would JC want to be infatuated with a Wen person when eventually they cause the demise of his parents and his clan. But hey maybe he’d be so selective thinking WQ didn’t do it though so that’s okay. Like wtf.

Let’s talk about the actors. I like WWX’s look, the actor has a good face, he “looks” like a WWX, but damn his acting is bad. And damn, he cannot do the duality of WWX, because he does not exude that dangerous aura and the strength and power that WWX naturally possess because of his natural abilities, evident even before he was a Yiling Patriarch, much less if this guy wants to play a convincing Patriarch. He does all these ogling of LWJ from the get go since they met, cue all the cheap BL baiting. And he pouts and stomps his feet and acts cute the whole time. WWX is cheeky, naughty, devious, mischievous, but not girly, not a sissy. Wtf. Then we move onto LWJ. So that guy is some boy and heartthrob, but damn he has neither r looks nor the presence nor the acting skills to touch LWJ. WTF. The moment he appeared he made me want to slap LWJ, want to cry for his ru8ning of his whole imagery. The action sequence is so wooden, and the expressions are so constipated or dead. Everybody else looked bad. The actors I think chosen right for their looks were WWX, WN (alive version, the ghost general version has such awful make up it makes me cringe), NHS, JGY, XY (he apparently got to get a good looking dude to play him who also looks kind of evil and yet looks like an anime character walked out of the anime) and maybe JC (that’s because aesthetically he actually can be considered good looking and that is ridiculous because he’s better looking than the Twin Jades of Lan in this). LXC and his butt chin hurts my eyes. WRH looking like some voodoo witch doctor gone drag in his evil volcanic dungeon lair makes me want to throw an encyclopaedia at someone’s head violently. NMJ looking like a complete perverted uncle complete with hentai stache is just blasphemous. JZX just looks weird, no better way to put it.

So onto the make up, costumes and props. Make up is so shit that you can see up close where spots are done smoothed over or powdered down, the gore or the effects of veins and wounds are so fake and so obviously drawn on it looked like a 6yo went to arts class and took some marker pen and crayon and created these outcomes. The props are so cheap that the ghost hand looks like a rubber Halloween glove you get from the prop shop around the corner, the deity binding ropes look exactly like rough ropes. The Emperor Smile bottles look so tiny and white that it looks more like medicine bottles on ancient times than an expensive alcohol bottle. Where’s the YunMeng silver bell, the jade piece on LWJ’s robe. The forehead ribbon looks so cheap because it’s too thin and the stupid metallic piece in the middle is ridiculous. Why can’t they just stick with the original to have the silk cloth with the cloud patterns embroidered on the cloth. And the clothes, Lan sect is supposed to be ethereal, so why are they dressed in such plain white and tight clothes. They should have the flowing sleeves, the light blue tones, and the cloud embroidery. YunMeng needs to have their original violet colour, the Wen Sect does not need to be full body red like they’re getting married (see WQ), and the Jin sect needs their golden robes with the centrepiece of the JinXinXueLang peony, not some watered down white with yellow hues and nothing else to show for it. And what is with LWJ’s hair do and hair piece, it has such a disgusting look to it and it doesn’t look right. Do the bun properly and the accessory properly, not some weird plop of hair right in front on top of his head and then put a flat piece of elaborate metal on top of it.

I had been looking forward to seeing the epic ness of MDZS brought to the small screen. I had been completely prepared for changes in terms of the romance line being cut, but I fully expected the main storylines to be followed and perhaps elaborated on. Not to be chopped and changed and meshed up and violated like they’ve done so. And with the ability to get some really lovely natural scenery and some of the sets that actually look good eg the Lotus seat in Yun Meng was elaborate and intricate. So why won’t they invest in the right places like making the make up perfect, getting the costumes and looks correct, getting actual actors who can act cos even if they don’t look aesthetically good enough but if they’re solid actors it would flow so much better, and more vitally, why don’t they retell and elaborate on the existing epic storyline as it is! That’s the core of it, the MDZS storyline and major scenes are so awesome wit( their backstories, no changes need to be made, but merely elaborated and extrapolated on, not to be comepltely vandalised and violated. My heart breaks as for the sake of my love for MDZS, I’ve watched 8 eps and had to stop and restart so many times because of how jarring, unnatural, awkward, infuriating, irritating and frustrating the factors above contribute to my viewing. And now the greatness of MDZS as an original source material will forever be tainted by the sacrilege that is the Untamed.

[trashexplorer]

Manga Review: Tenjou no Shita ni Koi by Ichikawa Ichi

Status: Completed

Description:  

Homie has lived overseas for most of his life before moving back to Japan. Since his folks worry about him living alone (even though he’s completely independent) they arrange for him to live with their friends’ kids. Homie breaks billion yen vase and is welcomed into Ooji Host Club - bitch, their family name almost sounds like Ouji which means prince. Everyone falls for homie like kiss kiss fall and fuck.

Review

How do I keep this part spoiler free when you can already see the ending in the cover yes, he ends up in a threesome with two of the brothers. A lot of people came across this through Tadaima Okairi, Ichi-Ichi’s omegaverse, but I’m not a follower so I found this on my own lol who you kidding you found this on myreadingmanga. I mean, I did read Tadaima Okairi but if I remember correctly, Tenjou no Shita ni Koi was released earlier and wasn’t translated until last year and once the first chapter was released, it took a while before the others followed. The other chapters were released with not a lot of time in between them tho so props to the scanlation team for sharing this to the world. 

Now that I mention it, when the omegaverse project was going on, there was also an increase in “family” works being scanlated and or released along with this one like Kazoku ni Narouyo, Ookami Papa wa Hitsuji Tsura Shite Yatte Kuru and its sequel, Sensei wa Butchozura Shite Yatte Kuru, Motoyan Papa to Hitsuji-sensei,  Family Simulation!!, and Oh My Hero! to name a few - I already gave the list of the ones I liked lol. 

Anyway, since there was a lot of them, what made this particular series stand out? Well, if I were to be honest, the family harem isn’t a new concept in the BL World so it’s really up to the authors to find a way to make a generic work into a gem - and Ichikawa Ichi did just that with Tenjou no Shita ni Koi maybe. Yui turned out to not be your sissy damsel in distress uke, the main guy isn’t a stuck up asshole or a wimp, the rival isn’t an in your face asshole (just misunderstood), and the other characters are also cool with the relationship in the end. But I do have to admit that there’s some unnecessary drama added into the mix which could have been better if they lengthened it more. I mean, where’s the animosity coming from, Ou-nii? 😂

This was a breath of fresh air - yeah nope lol, BUT I SWEAR IT’S LIGHT ‘cause there’s not really any depth to the characters. If you’re looking for a serious plot then this may not be for you. To sum it up, this is just your sweet, cute, and light-hearted series which only hurts you because of Kai serves as a good break from all the drama we read ‘cause we’re all sadists.

And that’s just about the only spoiler free review I can give 😂.

Rating:

I. Reference

II. Actual

Art = 8 

Story = 7

Intrigue = 2

Uniqueness = 3

Length in correlation to flow = 2

Characters = 12

Seme = 4

Uke = 4

Side Characters = 3

Final Rating: 7.7 Recommended

Warning: spoilers ahead!

Spoiler and Spazz Section

BOIIIIIII

I’M STILL SO MADDDDD

I mean, I am really happy for Hotaka and Yuito but, KAI-SANNNNNN 😭😭😭. Idk ‘bout you guys but I think Ou-nii also has feelings for Yuito ‘cause WHY THE HECK NOT? As I’ve said earlier in this review, Tenjou no Shita ni Koi really feels like Ouran High sans Tamaki (the best kind of Ouran High tbh) where Yuito is Haruhi, Hotaka and Kai are the Hitachiin brothers even though they’re not twins 😂, and Ou-nii is Kyouya. But yeah, Kai isn’t like Kaoru who high key shows concern for his brother ‘cause he’s really an awkward lad who doesn’t know how to properly convey his feelings but rather a ‘hands-on’ kind of guy - if you know what I mean. I initially thought that Kai was just flirting with Yuito to provoke Hotaka BUT SHIT BOIS KOKORO IS REAL OH NO 😭. 

At one point I thought that it would have been better if Yuito wouldn’t choose anyone in the end ‘cause it was already so late in the series and he hasn’t shown any romantic feelings for any of the brothers but then chapter 4 happened and I was like:

WHERE IS THE POLYAMORY TAG WHEN YOU NEED IT???

Then I thought that Yuito was gonna be the bigger man and leave the household so the issue would be settled but then this happened:

(Credits to the scanlation team)

Where’s my closure for Kai’s feelings??? Does he end up with Ou-nii? HAHAHAHA Yeah, I should have known the outcome from the cover photo but it’s still a little a lot sad. 

So yeah, I liked this a lot and made me clench my chest lol. 

Peace out

[funakounasoul]

My Personal 10 Fave Webcomics I Read in 2017

So there was this post making the rounds from Vice (yeah I know) about some "journalist's" top 10 comics from 2017 that instantly boiled down to "there were no good comics". The comic community - mainstream and indie alike - were furious. My reaction was to make my own list. I read when I could since I have my own stuff that I was working on, but I read some neat webcomics this year. Some were started this year while most have been going on for a while and are still in-progress. So, below the cut, I shall share my top 10 (in no particular order):

Slightly Damned by Chu - I’ve actually been reading this one since 2007 (Leigh introduced me to it) BUT we both started a major re-read this year, especially since a major event was going on for a while. This one bases itself around the classic “Angel vs Devil” trope, but does twist it around and also includes other races that are caught in the middle. It’s got its hilarious moments but then gives you such mood whiplashes that you better be strapped onto your chair when you read this or your head will fly.

Missing Monday by Elle Skinner - I TECHNICALLY picked this one up late 2016 (so I may as well count it as a 2017 fave, especially as the story got REAL interesting in this past year!)...though little known fact - I was commissioned by the creator to draw the main couple back in 2014, and that’s where the interest began~ This one is a low fantasy, wlw tale involving time/dimensional traveling and some bargaining with dubious creatures~

Nwain: The Night Who Wandered Dream by Terrana Cliff - This one’s really unique. It’s an animated comic (not a Flash comic, but like, each panel is a bit of a storyboarded-style animation). But what really caught my attention was the curious cast of characters. From the eponymous, quick-witted knight from another time, to the cute robot mouse and (currently) a wild cast of contestants from various lands...Their personalities are so colorful and...well..animated!

Radio Silence by Vanessa Stefaniuk - I love music, so I was instantly attracted to this comic. It’s a slice of life, kinda dramatic at times tale of a British rock band that’s trying to make it big, the trials and tribulations involving such things. Something unique about this one is that the band’s songs are legit composed by a relative of the creator, so whenever you see lyrics with music notes...it’s a proper composition. And also major props to Vanessa for doing SO MUCH research on the locations involved in the story. It’s fictionalized, but despite being Canadian, it really feels like it’s a story being told by Brits (and a Scottish lass and a German guy)!

Heroic Shenanigans by Haley Martin - This one shows off where superhero kids go to train and also socialize in a summer camp-like setting. It’s silly but it’s got a little something underneath it all...agendas and questions and whatnot. But overall, a fun tale of three kids coming of age, so to speak.

Magi Soldat by Star Sumiaki - You like anime? Especially the anime of the 80s and 90s? Magical girls and technology? Then you should check this comic out (that is also read AND paged like a manga, so definitely pay attention to those page arrows!). Earth’s in danger, and it’s up to some unlikely “chosen ones” to learn how to use their new powers and save mankind! And yes, hilarity ensues. (And why, yes, that IS Miko in one of the most recent updates~)

Lavender Tea by Joichi - If you have known me for a period of time, you know I tend to lean more toward wlw and/or female-centric stories in general. This one, which focuses on two boys, actually caught my attention! It’s cute, fluffy, it’s SO unlike the typical BL stuff that tends to make me go elsewhere. Just a simple tale about two boys, and one already has a crush on the other (as far as I know from what I’ve read so far).

Junk Hyenas Diner by Chu - Yes, another one by Chu! I found this one just this year and it’s another great read. Much simpler than Slightly Damned, and it’s a B&W comic, but who cares? It’s still got Chu’s brand of funny. This one is a sci-fi-ish series of random events that take place around a diner run by some mutant hyenas and their robot friend.

MoonSlayer by Mónica N. Galván - R-RATING WARNING FOR THIS ONE. It’s a high fantasy tale of a girl who is trying to write her own destiny because her original one is a terrible one (like, REALLY terrible, not just run-of-the-mill stuff like crappy parents). I haven’t been able to catch up in the latter half of this year, but the story that I’ve read so far has been SO captivating, especially seeing how this girl grows up with so different influences in her life.

Vatican Assassins by MJ Massey - Literally read this one just last week and caught up THAT fast. It’s got demon hunters (see why I got interested so fast? lol) but with a Catholic theme - the hunters work for the Vatican, and pray to saints for battle blessings and the like. They are also mostly a bunch of teenagers, so it’s got teenager problems and conflicts alongside the demon hunting plot, which gives it a bit of a relatable touch since most anyone has experienced, in some way or another, some typical teenager issues.

....And that’s it for this year’s list. I still have quite a bit of a list to go through. I definitely didn’t get to all the titles I wanted to read....so I hope to start reading more titles in 2018! Maybe my list will grow! Also, you definitely should check these out, and maybe make your own lists, even if you’re just a reader. We love hearing recommendations!

[poetry-protest-pornography]

There is probably not a funnier combination of shows to have this shared between

listen y'all i just started the first episode of Playboyy and i'm ready to get into it but-

WHY ARE THEY SHARING PROPS I'M CRYING