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I've always wanted to write a scene of mutual agreement and support (friendship is a strong word) between Ginny and Romilda Vane, so here's around 1600 words of something that might have happened during Year 7.
*****
They wait until after dinner to round on her.
Ginny is mildly surprised; she'd guessed they would question her as soon as she got off the train, but perhaps they thought that Snape's speech—not the Headmaster's, she'd never consider him so—might terrify her enough to make her betray everything she has ever believed on. If so, they were very mistaken; seeing Snape in the middle of the staff table, with Death Eaters by his side, only infused her Gryffindor spirit.
"Weasley," calls Alecto Carrow. She has a mind to pretend to ignore her, but the mass of students climbing the stairs seems to freeze with that call, and Ginny has no choice but to answer it, all eyes on her as she walks to Alecto Carrow.
"Yes, Professor." She puts as much spite in that word as she can. Neville and Luna suddenly materialize next to her, and Ginny almost wishes they would stay away, as if there is any protection to be found this year.
Alecto looks her up and down. "That's it?" Her voice is mocking. "That's Potter's girlfriend?"
By her side, Crabble and Goyle nod; their gazes are not as unappreciative as Alecto's. With a shudder, Ginny thinks she will favour disdain any day.
"I thought Potter had better taste."
She buries her nails into her palm. Don't answer, she tells herself, and tries to keep a look of disinterest.
"Where is your boyfriend?"
Her rehearsed answer comes in a bored tone. "I would know if I had any." It feels more than ever that everyone is staring at her.
Alecto doesn't seem convinced, nor do her cronies.
"They were dating," says Goyle, in a whisper that everyone can hear. "Everyone saw it, they were snogging all around the place."
"It's what happens when you are dating someone," snaps Ginny. "We've broken up." She hesitates for a tiny beat. "He dumped me."
This time her rehearsed line doesn't sound credible, despite being the truth. Everyone's gaze seems to burn, evaluating her answer, and, for a moment, Ginny waits for someone to question this, to raise the absurdity of her words: they were in love. As Goyle had noted, anyone could see how they felt about each other; Harry had been beaming the whole time they were together, all those few weeks of sunshine and happiness and hope. Harry wouldn't just dump her—
And then Alecto Carrow laughs.
"I guess Potter already got what he was after, then?" She mocks. "Blood traitors aren't a good value if..."
"Perhaps the girl is lying," another voice pops in, and Ginny turns to see Amycus Carrow joining his sister. His gaze upon her makes Ginny shiver; she remembers all too well duelling him. "Perhaps she knows more than she's letting on—"
"I wouldn't think so," Luna says, her voice as dreaming as ever. "If she knew, she wouldn't be here."
"Harry always kept his secrets," Neville adds, crossing his arms.
Amycus and Alecto share a look before Amycus takes a step forward.
"I will be the judge of that. If we have Potter's precious girlfriend—"
"I am not even his girlfriend anymore!"
It doesn't seem to matter, though. Terror floods her, not so much for herself; there isn't anything that she can share with them, but if somehow Harry finds out that they've got her—their breakup will be for nothing—he is too stupid and too noble to do something reckless—
Amycus grabs her arm; Ginny dives her hand into her pocket, but before she can take out her wand, many things happen. Professor McGonagall appears, Neville points his wand at Amycus, and Romilda Vane laughs nervously.
"Please," she says. "Weasley was his girlfriend, so what?”
That makes everyone draw their eyes to her. Romilda tosses her hair out of her face, seemingly enjoying the attention, but Ginny can see a thin layer of sweat breaking through the girl's careful makeup.
"Harry was always smiling at me, flirting unashamedly, even when he was dating her. I wasn’t the only one either. Everyone knew he wasn't good business. A ladies' man, that one."
Ginny blinks; she is not alone. The year before, when Harry was at the height of his popularity at Hogwarts, everyone's favourite Chosen One, he had drawn many eyes. Ginny had found it bothersome, but she could understand what everyone was seeing: that gorgeous young man with messy dark hair and green eyes, tall and fit, with the added benefit of seeming oblivious to his own charm, almost shy. It had been endearing.
That also was one of the reasons why, when Harry and Ginny started dating, everyone wanted to talk about it. It had been huge news for Hogwarts' standard.
There was no way anyone would believe that Romilda was telling the truth.
"Potter never had any other girlfriend," Crabbe mumbles.
Romilda laughs derisively. "I wasn't his girlfriend, haven't you heard what I just said? He just liked to flirt." She nudges her friend. "Do you remember, Lisa? I told you Harry never took his eyes off me."
Lisa looks terrified, but she nods. "Yes," she confirms in a small voice. "And you—you shared chocolate once."
"Harry dated Cho," someone from the Ravenclaw crowd says, and there's a murmur of agreement.
"I went with Harry to a Christmas party last year," notes Luna. She skips the part where they went as friends.
"I think I saw him snogging a girl behind the greenhouses," Hannah Abbott says.
At her side, a boy nods. "I saw something in the library once."
People start adding comments, their voices mingling in a cacophony. The weirdest part is that Ginny knows no one is lying; people are telling about the times they saw Harry with a girl — only she was this girl, this only girl, but no one specifies that.
"Quiet, quiet!" Alecto sounds annoyed. She looks at Crabbe and Goyle. "Is this true?"
They shrug, lost.
"I saw Potter with Chang at Madam Puddifoot's," Pansy Parkinson confirms, distasteful. "And he went with Loony Lovegood to Slughorn's party."
"That would be Professor Slughorn, Miss Parkinson," chides Professor McGonagall, taking a definite step ahead and placing herself between the Carrows and Ginny. She raises her arm and, almost without a second glance, lowers Neville's still extended arm. "I do not see why a student's romantic life is under scrutiny at this hour of the night, especially a student who is not even here at the moment, but the others have class tomorrow morning."
"This is more important than classes," Amycus spats.
"I remind you this is still a school," Professor McGonagall says coldly.
Amycus' answer is cut by a bored voice. "What is this?" Snape walks, easily opening his way between the students gathered at the door.
"We are trying to interrogate the Weasley girl," Alecto says. "To find out the whereabouts of Potter. She was his girlfriend."
Snape rolls his eyes. "You heard the others. Potter was a lover-boy; that is not surprising considering how his father behaved with his fans." He regards Ginny coldly. "Weasley is not special. I doubted Potter ever shared anything more than a snog with her."
There's an underlying truth in his words that stung her, but before she can react, Snape is already addressing Professor McGonagall.
"Take your students to bed, Minerva. It would not be advisable to be out of the bed at this hour."
Professor McGonagall, who had been frowning at Snape as if trying to figure out something, bristles; there's nothing but repulse in her eyes as she nods.
"Of course, Severus." She turns to Ginny and the others. "Go to the Common Room, now."
And she casts a warning glance at Ginny, who runs to meddle between the other Gryffindor students climbing up the stairs. Her heart doesn't stop beating painfully until she enters the Common Room, and only then she looks back; the Carrows aren't in sight. She doubts this is the last time they will try to question her, but for now, she can breathe easily and give Neville a feeble smile when he looks at her.
"We will watch your back," he whispers.
"It will be fine," she says, with a confidence she doesn't feel. Nothing about her experience at Hogwarts so far gives her any faith that things will turn out well.
And then she catches a mop of black hair.
"Romilda," she calls. Romilda pauses on her way to the stairs.
"Yeah?"
Ginny waits until they are alone to whisper: "Thank you."
Romilda nods. There’s a moment of silence, during which Romilda eyes the stairs as if considering fleeing the scene before she asks: "Did he really break up with you?"
Ginny gulps. "Yeah."
"Oh, I thought—"
"No, it was true."
She waits for some remark; Romilda was truly determined to get Harry the year before, and she had pestered Ginny when she was dating Harry.
"He never actually flirted with me," Romilda says in a rushed whisper. "And you were special to him, I—I spent a lot of time watching him and trying to get his attention, but he never glanced at me... because he was too busy ogling at you."
Warmth spreads inside Ginny; she cannot help her smile. "Harry didn't ogle."
"Yes, all the time. He had it hard for you. Still has, I'd bet." Romilda smiles awkwardly. "Not very womanizer of him."
Ginny's eyes wide. "About that—if anyone finds out that you were exaggerating—"
"I'll talk to my friends. No one is going to say anything."
"I know. I trust you." They look at each other; it suddenly occurs to Ginny that Romilda has no idea, not really, of what could happen if anyone suspects her lie. Romilda never faced a Death Eater. Ginny hopes she never does. "It will be fine."
It's the same thing she told Neville before, but now there's a promise in her voice.
Romilda nods one last time. "Night, Ginny."
"Night, Romilda."
#DH Missing Moment#If I had to tag this#Hinny#but mostly about#Ginny Weasley#Romilda Vane#Girls before Death Eaters#share with me what you thought?
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"no one can remember what happened in the previous seasons"
(except scar was totally playing dumb)
#wild life desert duo has me on a chokehold.#they started with toxic enemies situationship that shared a bed and went onto a healing era after an extremely long divorce#we love to see it!!!!!!!#lots of thoughts about this scene.#i wanted this to convey the actual tone used in the conversation more or less#but then its less obvious that scar is just straight up lying hsjdhskfhsks#we all saw you answer nearly every question correctly scar!!!! you more than anyone know what happened in third life!!!!!!#anyways. first mcyt art!!!! would have liked to give more thought to wild life grian design but i dont have enough braincells#settled for 3 useless belts for the 3 bridges#ok enough commentary.#grian#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#desert duo#wild life#3rd life#art tag#comic#life series#life smp#traffic series#traffic smp
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siren!megumi concept sheet i whipped up in a single-minded fever state fr @uriekukistan
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#i don't know what is safe not to tag as spoilers bc in au you can explain his scars away any way u want#anyway i didn't plan on sharing this bc it was supposed to b a quick thing based on a gc discussion#but i ended up sm more proud of it than i anticipated. he has been living in my head ive dropped entire plans fr siren!megumi#i went from not having drawn a mermaid since 2013 to spending like 3 hours researching sailfish in a daze#all so i cld slap a proper tail on megumi dsghjfdgdf#it was between a marlin and a sailfish but sailfish won on account of megumi's fighting style being less abt brute strength#marlins r more acrobatic n agile apparently#if any marine biologists or fish enthusiasts follow me im sorry fr butchering the colours ik there is supposed to b more copper/yellow#but i made it green fr Megu reasons#i also think its so cool tht they can flash different colours. yoinking that fr megumi he lights up green when hes excited i make the rules#the scales on his torso being in the same areas as his post-canon sukuna scars is probably my fav detail :'>#was rly proud when i thought of that one#anyway im not planning on doing anything or turning this in2 a full au this ws just a design exercise but know that he is In My Brain Smile#yuuji abt 2 b banned fr life from his local aquarium who said that
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There are many Akechi lines in P5R that have plagued me, but this is one of the biggest ones, because what
Sir, what are you talking about?? Am I just missing something, what the hell does this mean. Why did you choose to draw that parallel?? Goro???
#I do have a super overthinking thought regarding this line but I worry it's just me being shuake-brained#so i don't know if I should share that#persona 5#persona 5 royal#persona 5 spoilers#persona 5 royal spoilers#goro akechi#shuake#<- maybe?? i don't even know anymore. what is wrong with you#also two posts? in one day? woah
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can't express accurately how happy it makes me that c.s. lewis did not leave room for many interpretations in narnia. it's christian and you can't get around it. susan chose to care more about worldly things than what matters and he said what he said. the lion is Jesus. evil is evil and good is good and people have to choose. and that makes some readers angry because it's nearly impossible to ignore and they want to ignore it. they want it to be something else and they can't make it something else without making it not narnia. love that. that is doing it right
#that's. how. it. should. be#if there's room for interpretation in your writing as a christian you are doing it wrong#if people read your work and get to pick and choose what it means and you left it OPEN to interpretation-#-and they can divorce your fantasy world from the truth? you are doing it wrong#looking at you john ronald reuel#readers you're upset because susan cares more about “nylons and lipstick” than Aslan? 1. that's not really what lewis said#2. you should be upset because she made the wrong decision#and if you're upset because you can't get around the christianity in narnia let me share something with you - that's the point#it's a christian series#it's telling you christian things. this is not lord of the rings. this is not Cool Fantasy World open to interpretation#you can't worship the fantasy world and ignore the christian truths#you can't separate the two. that's what it should be#that's what all christian writing should be#if you write something amazing and centuries later people host parades for your fictional world and there's no God in it? no truth?#wrong. you did it wrong. they should not be able to separate the two - unless the point of your writing was to write a cool story#congratulations you wrote a cool story. but did it point people to the truth? unavoidably? no? then what a waste of freaking time#what a waste of a beautiful God-given talent#okay I got off on a tangent#my point is: be upset because Narnia is Christian and you can't get around that with ease#I am so. glad. you can't get around that with ease#this is why Lewis is my favorite author in the root of me#he did it right. this is what we as christian authors should aspire to#not LOTR. Narnia. NARNIA.#christianity#narnia#the chronicles of narnia#thoughts in the tags#doverstar's thoughts#writing#authors
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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The Quest Continues...
(part 1- part 2)
#Fourfold Soul#<- That's the title of the project I've been working on!#I am very excited to finally show off the cowboy (gender redacted) I've been cooking in a slow boil!!! Yeehaw!#Yes this is the game project. YES I am commited to the bit of having the main character go through a long running pronoun-quest.#This character does not have a name so I cannot formally tag them...#(Okay. Technically they have an internal name for coding/scripting reasons...and I have a nickname for them.#But the important part of making a video game character you get to eventually name is that the name must come from *you*!)#The girl here is a npc so she has a temporary name. So I also cannot tag her. Hmm...#I have several FFS comics thumbnailed out. This one got made first because it's the funniest without context. Lore wise it's weak.#I would love to post the sexy clown but you have to wait just a few more comics.#Fun artist woes moment to share: This is the first time I've had to colour these characters traditionally. *That* was NOT fun.#Going from a specific digital colour palette to being at the whims of my limited colour choices in markers? Hell! On! Earth!#I might also be extra frustrated because this sure is 3x the length of what I usually do for comics! I spent a Whole Day on this.#Past me thought it was soooo funny and needed all the extra panels for pacing. I hate past me. That guy needs to be exploded.
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so like... teeth... fangs, even.........
(silly) xtra under the cut
smfh tfw ur trying to joke but friend snitches you tf out
#utmv#cross!sans#killer!sans#self insert#mblue art#posting this on oreo's bday bc yes :)#10/10#happy birthday idiot what did you do to me /lh#you've stayed in my head for more than a year#made me feel so many feels#it is insane how many (AU) scenarios ive thought of with him guys#(but i will only share a couple to the public bc i am shy u_u;;)#(and they r very very self-indulgent;;)#(also HHEEELLLPPP KILLER IS SUCH AN ASS !!! (affectionate))#(you're lucky you're skrunkly meow meow status i made u look good in the first panel 😤😤😤)#CM
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Oh, Lala...
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#atla azula#princess azula#atla ursa#suki#atla suki#kyoshi warriors au#kyoshi warriors#Kyoshi Warrior Ursa AU#wip#I felt like sharing a little snippet of a two-page comic I've been working on for AGES#Literally you have no idea for how long this has been sitting on my drafts#Mainly because I keep getting sidetracked by new AUs and sketches and projects. But that's nothing new so#This one is a deep-ish dive into the basic character dynamics between the Fire Siblings as well as Ursa and Suki#Or should I say#Between the siblings Ruolan and Jian Li regarding their mother Noriko and each other.#I know the names can get rather confusing. I'd love to explain the reasoning behind them if anyone would like to know tho#Moving on#There's a lot to unpack in that scene#The characters are different from how we know them due to their circumstances in this AU. But they have things in common with the og series#Of course that remains for you to see#I'm so excited to finish this and share it with you guys!#Some of you have been asking about Azula/Ruolan and Ursa/Noriko in this AU and I am here to deliver#I love the dynamic between this little family SO much it's driving me insane#That being said#What do you get from this panel alone? What do you think it's happening?#I'd love to hear your thoughts on this
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I'm just saying if you're writing smut featuring trans people and you find yourself ONLY writing pre-op transmen as receiving penetration. ONLY writing your transmen as submissive.
You should really take a step back and think about why this is.
Also consider including trans people who have gotten bottom surgery. I'd like to see more of that. Or transmen using straps. That'd be cool too thanks.
#like why the fuckkkk is it so hard to not be weird about it#like im not trying to kink shame here#you can be weird without being Weird (derogatory#right? you understand me?#appreciate the variation of human experience#i had a bit about the ways people are weird about like#trans women and nonbinary people and intersex ppl#but like. i figure yall can share your own thoughts I do not wanna speak for you#trans men#trans man#transandrophobia#like i get that transmen can be like that#but i swear it is so difficult out here as someone who is not into submission and shit#like. aauuuugh#am i just bad at searching for smut????#i don't know#i don't like policing ppl about what they write. especially smut.#but its just like....can i please see some variety.
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Thinking about how Diavolo’s feelings transcend time and how in the Nightbringer UR+ card Demon Lord’s Castle Tour this conversation happens.
When asked, “Do you wish to see your father?”
Diavolo responds:
“I suppose I do . . .” isn’t the typical reaction to how a child would feel about wanting to see their parent. Especially when said parent has essentially been in a coma for a year.
Along with how Diavolo describe his father.
It makes more sense why when you learn in Lesson 56 how Diavolo was treated by him growing up.
Diavolo can tell when others are lying but is unable to understand his father’s intentions.
Diavolo mentions that he lived a very sheltered life growing up. That from a young age his father never allowed him a chance to talk to anyone outside the castle.
His childhood friend was Mephistopheles. A demon literally RAISED to be his friend. Putting a barrier between the two because Mephistopheles would put Diavolo on a pedestal.
The isolating childhood he experienced riddled with his strict father constantly scolding him.
Despite everything MC is so important to him he wants to see his father again so we can meet.
#Demons and Humans can’t get married even in the present so it adds an extra layer him wanting to introduce us.#There’s a lot more you could add onto this (please do I’d love to hear other’s thoughts).#Like how Diavolo’s childhood affected him just look at the way he describes himself:#“The truth is I am a child in a way. A child who spends his time alone and never gets to do anything interesting.”#A lot of Diavolo’s poor behavior while not excused comes from his childhood.#How Diavolo admits to using his position to force others to do what he wants. Along with how he doesn’t like sharing.#Diavolo’s insecurities in his friendships with others.#Mainly Lucifer and Barbatos which makes sense with how they happened.#IE Forcing Barbatos to become his butler and the oath/deal with Lucifer regarding Lilith.#It’s clear Diavolo is very lonely and carrying a heavy burden.#I like that MCs presence is helping him change into a better person.#Also I don’t think Diavolo hates his father their relationship just isn’t good and very complicated.#Diavolo is such a wonderful character if you have any in-depth posts about him please tag me I’d love to read them!!!#I AM FILLED WITH SAPPY THOUGHTS ABOUT DIAVOLO TONIGHT!!!!#Obey Me#Obey Me Spoiler#Obey Me Nightbringer#OMSWD#Obey Me Diavolo#Diavolo#MaddyMajolish#Is it obvious I can’t sleep because I’m riddled with Blorbo thoughts
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Tender Fires
Pairing: Maximus Decimus Meridius x reader
Rating: T (hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, with a few hints of spice)
Word Count: 6.4k
Tag List: @enjisbf, @nasatshirts, @empressenchanted, @streets-in-paradise, @xiscamoony, @aelondrias
Author’s Note: I'm back with another Maximus fic! This is actually part of a larger narrative in which Maximus escapes the execution attempt and ends up at reader's farm, where she tends his wounds and they fall in love but have to fight their feelings because he intends to leave to keep her safe. As always, this fic is written from the deepest longings of my lovestruck heart, and I hope that love is obvious :) Thank y'all so much for your kind words about the last fic, and I hope you enjoy this one!!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“You’re up late.”
At your words, Maximus turns his head to look at you, and a soft smile crosses his lips. His features are etched in shadow, flickering with the dancing firelight.
He’s seated in front of your kitchen fire, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, gazing deep into the flames as if searching for some hidden meaning within. You would never have known he was in here if you had not been awakened by the loud cracks of thunder outside and come in search of the warmth of the fire.
An autumn storm, a midnight fire, and the most captivating man you have ever known, dressed only in his plain white sleeping tunic. It seems like a combination intended to lure you into trouble.
As you move to sit in the chair beside him, he looks back into the hearth, a smile still tugging at the corner of his lips. “I have stayed awake staring at many fires in my life,” he tells you quietly, his voice deep and thoughtful.
Out of the corner of your eye, you risk a glance at him, looking for the scar on his ribs. He has been with you for a little more than two weeks now, helping you with odd jobs around the farm as his strength returns. His wounds, though still vulnerable, have healed quickly, and you are relieved to see no signs of further injury on the parts of his skin that you can see.
“As have I,” you reply, eyes still lingering on him. “Though for me, it has always been the same fire. This one.”
He hums in response, nodding slightly. You have never sat by this fire together at night, and you are bewitched by the way the light dances over him, makes his golden skin shimmer. The lines of his arms and shoulders are limned in shadow, the firelight flickering on his handsome features.
You are overcome with a desire to put your hands on him, to feel the heat of his skin and the strength of his body, but you cast your gaze on the fireplace instead.
“I envy you that,” he answers softly, after a short reflection. He glances up at you, studying you intently. “A home fire, always burning in the same place.”
The meaning of his words is not lost on you.
Every day, the thought of him leaving you is more painful. At the moment, as you sit close enough to listen to him breathing, the thought is unbearable. Your home is his home now, and you long — more than you have ever longed for anything — for him to realize that he belongs here.
His shadowed eyes search yours a moment more, then return to gazing at the flames.
You take a deep, steadying breath to calm yourself. Your hands are trembling, and you smooth them over your skirt, hoping he does not notice how nervous you are from this simple interaction.
“Tea?” you ask quickly, pushing yourself to stand and get a bit of space between the two of you.
He glances up again, and your heart clenches at the gentleness in his expression. He nods. “Thank you.”
Have his eyes ever seemed so wide, so earnest? Are you imagining the way his gaze lingers on you, drinking in every detail of the way you move?
You can feel the tension in the room thickening, your own heart beating faster as you fill the kettle with water and set the tea leaves to brewing. Somehow, sharing space with this man is so much more intimate at night, with a storm raging outside and a warm fire bringing extra heat to the atmosphere.
Even more astonishing to you is the fact that you are not afraid of this powerful soldier. He is strong enough to do anything he wishes to you, to take whatever he obviously wants. But even now, standing here in your night shift, with your hair and your defenses down, you have no fear of him.
If anything, you wish he would initiate a touch, a kiss, anything that would lead to the passion that has been haunting your dreams every night.
Such as your dream last night. You can still feel the sensation of your body thoroughly tangled with his, your limbs entwined, his hands pulling your skirt up to your waist. Your cheeks burn when you remember all the places he kissed in your dream, all the places he touched and explored and pleasured. Such thoughts make you ache all over again, especially now that you are standing so close to him.
A blinding crack of lightning, followed by the roar of thunder, pulls you from the dream-memory of his mouth hot on your throat.
To distract yourself from such dangerous thoughts, you ramble on the first topic you can think of. “My father used to tell me stories beside this fire,” you announce as you hang the kettle over the fire and settle back into the chair beside him. You don’t dare meet his eyes, even as a smile crosses your lips at the memory. “I always begged him to tell me ghost stories even though they frightened me.”
He tilts his head to the side to look at you curiously, a smile of his own playing at his lips. “What kind of ghosts do you have in these parts?” he asks, leaning on one arm of the chair to look at you more squarely.
Somehow, having his full attention focused on you is unnerving, undoing, arousing. You can hardly find the words to speak.
His eyes are still on your face as you feel a deep blush burning in your cheeks. You hope he will attribute it to the warmth of the fire, not your intense reaction to the way he gazes at you. If he only knew how much more heated you are by his presence.
“My favorite is the Howling Woman,” you blurt out, glad that your voice is not as unsteady as you feared. “She wears all gray, with her head covered. She’s been seen in these mountains for decades.”
He does not interrupt you, but your breath catches as his gaze wanders across your face. An absent smile is still on his lips, and he seems to be content to simply watch you, to let his eyes trace the lines of your face, your neck, your hair where it tumbles over your shoulders. His gaze is searching, admiring.
How will you find the strength to hide your desire when one look from him could bring you to your knees?
Clenching your jaw and willing the kettle to boil faster, you continue your story determinedly. “They say she was the wife of a farmer who was killed after being thrown from his horse. She found him with his neck broken.” You pause, still breathless from the effects of his undivided attention. “She went mad and drowned her own children. When she came to her senses and realized what she had done, she walked into the wilderness to die.”
You wait for him to interject, to ask some clarifying question or comment, but he does not. He is still leaning on the arm of his chair, his dark eyes captivated by the sight of you in the firelight. You can almost sense the way he is actively preventing himself from letting his gaze wander further down — where your shift does little to hide the shape of your figure.
But somehow, his watchfulness is not an act of seduction. He seems genuinely swept up in your story, spellbound by the sound of your voice. He listens to you intently, curiously, and waits for you to continue.
“But to punish her for her crime,” you continue, blushing even harder, “the gods cursed her to wander these mountains and valleys for eternity, never able to die and meet her family in the afterlife.”
It is the sound of your voice, you realize now. His gaze wanders over your features slowly, as if measuring them, but his silence persists the longer you speak. It is as if he cannot bring himself to interrupt you, so captivated as he is by your voice.
“She still walks at night,” you finish, finally allowing yourself to look deep into his eyes. There seems to be no end to them, no way to pull yourself out of the gaze that holds you captive. “She wanders, calling and wailing and howling.”
He swallows hard, licks his lips, though you guess he does so unconsciously. A shiver runs up your spine, and not from your ghost story.
You lean forward, just an inch or so, to finish the story. “They say you can hear her best on a night like this,” you whisper, and the silence between you is so concentrated that you feel you might choke on it.
His gaze flits down to your lips for a moment, and in this flickering firelight, surrounded by warmth and desire, you think he may kiss you.
The silence is broken by a loud crack of thunder outside, one that makes you jump at its suddenness. You both look away, realizing how intently you have been gazing at one another for an inexcusably long amount of time.
The tea in the kettle is boiling at last, and, glad for the distraction, you lean forward to take it off the fire. Your two cups are sitting on the table beside you, and you fill both before handing one to him. He nods his thanks, and the two of you sit quietly for a few moments, looking deep into the firelight.
He is the one who finally breaks the silence. “Do you believe in ghosts?” he asks softly, with that pleasant raspy quality you have come to recognize in him at night.
You smile and lean back in your chair to sip at your tea. “Of course,” you confirm lightly. “Don’t you?”
His expression grows quizzical, and he doesn’t lift his eyes away from the fire. He takes a sip of his tea, thinks for a long time before answering. You are more than content to sit in silence with him, but he finally comes to an answer.
“No,” he tells you quietly, still mesmerized by the dancing flames. Eerie shadows prance over his fine features. “Spirits do not wander the earth after death. They go to the afterlife.”
His voice is calm and even, but resolute, assured. You have talked so little with him about such things, and you cannot deny your curiosity at learning more about what he believes.
“How do you know?” you press, unconsciously leaning toward him.
He does not move for a moment, just grips his cup tighter and sharpens his gaze at the fire. “I have seen enough death to feel certain of it,” he declares, then turns his head to look into your eyes again. “If ghosts could exist,” he tells you softly, gently, “then I would be haunted by them every moment.”
Your heart aches for him now, for the pain and grief he carries with him always. His life has been difficult, laden with the weight of many lives and much responsibility. Even in a peaceful haven like your home, he is ever followed by the burdens of his past, no matter how much comfort and peace you have offered him.
“Perhaps they do not wish to speak to you,” you suggest, tilting your head to show that you are teasing him. “Perhaps you do not know all there is to know in the world.”
His haunted expression softens as he looks at you, taking in the meaning of your words. As before, his soft smile smoothes the lines in his face, lifts a bit of the weariness etched into his features. You can’t help wondering if he realizes your effect on him, if he craves these moments of tranquility and comfort as much as you do.
“I am sure of that,” he tells you in a low voice, and your heart turns over at the simple passion in his eyes.
You lapse into silence once again, each of you drinking your tea and losing yourself in thought. Your own ponderings are of him, wondering what he is thinking. He has seemed burdened ever since you found him sitting by the fire, and you long to know what worries him.
If he only knew how your heart leaps at the sight of him, how you long to cradle his face in your hands, to kiss him until all his burdens are lifted, until all he knows is this deep, all-consuming love that has swept over your heart like an autumn storm.
The thunder continues to roll outside, the rain pelting your roof relentlessly, but the warmth of the fire and the pleasant constancy of his presence is comforting.
You do not press him for several long minutes, letting him mull over his worries in silence until both of you have finished your tea. When you set your two empty cups on the table beside you, you finally decide to inquire, pushing your chair a few inches nearer to him and leaning on one arm of the chair so you can look into his eyes more closely.
“What troubles you?” you ask softly, and he finally lifts his head, dark eyes burning into yours with all the intensity of the hearth fire.
His voice is hardly more than a whisper when he replies, “Ghosts.”
“Memories?” you ask, entranced by the way he slowly leans forward, closing the distance between the two of you one inch at a time. Your skin suddenly burns, aching for a touch, one simple touch, that will answer your constant longing for his hands on you.
After a moment of hesitation, in which he seems to ponder the consequences of what he wants, he finally lifts one hand and trails his fingertips down the side of your face.
“Shadows of things I do not understand,” he murmurs absently, and he traces the line of your jaw with fingers so gentle you cannot imagine them ever wielding a sword.
He gazes at you more openly now, his eyes traveling down to your lips as his thumb brushes over them. You suppress a shudder at the contact, and he strokes your lips a few times, transfixed by the sight, before sliding the backs of his knuckles down the column of your throat.
Stars in the heavens, if he only knew how your body is aching for him, how you respond to the slightest touch he gives you.
You finally find your voice to speak. “Is it your men?” you ask softly, as if the room has suddenly been overtaken by a spell.
He sighs, brow furrowed deeply in thought. “They were not my men,” he replies at last, still stroking his fingers down your neck. “Not the ones who betrayed me. My men were loyal, courageous.” His voice is thick with sorrow, and you sense that recalling this memory is painful for him. “They were my brothers,” he half-whispers. “They would have risen up in rebellion if they had known.”
Your heart aches again at the sadness in his voice, the sadness he works so hard to disguise throughout the day. Somehow, in the darkness, in the stillness of nighttime, he seems more vulnerable.
“Why does the Emperor want you dead so badly?” you finally venture to ask.
His hand stills on your neck, eyes not quite focused on your face. He seems to be traveling back in time in his mind, and he draws a deep breath as he thinks. Almost as if he does not realize what he is doing, his hand wanders to the base of your neck, absently stroking the sensitive skin there.
It’s all you can do to hold still, to keep from betraying how perfectly wonderful his touch is to you.
His voice is low and measured when he answers your question. “I once received favor that he believed should have been his.” He pauses, then raises his eyes to meet yours meaningfully. “By his own father.”
His words take you aback, and you know he must notice your wide-eyed stare. “Marcus Aurelius?” you squawk in disbelief. “You knew the great Emperor?”
“Yes,” he replies, his face softening into a smile at the memory. You are shocked by the revelation, but his fond smile warms your heart after seeing his heavily burdened expression a moment ago.
He presses on, though his hand is now running softly over your shoulder, skimming over the top of your thin shift. “I was young when he took me under his wing,” he explains, eyes tracing the path his hand is making on your shoulder. “I had won some small battles, and he saw in me potential for greater things. He made me what I am today.”
He strokes your shoulder once, gently, then removes his hand, as though he cannot trust himself to keep touching you there. Again lifting his deep blue eyes to meet your gaze, he looks at you so tenderly, so affectionately, as he raises the same hand to tuck your hair behind your ear.
You want to melt, to close your eyes and sigh in pleasure at his simple touch, but you fight for your composure. “He must have been a great man,” you manage instead, meaning every word.
“He was the greatest man I have ever known,” he murmurs, stroking his fingers through your hair at your temple now. “He is the closest thing to a father that I ever knew.”
You have noticed how the man is drawn to your hair whenever you leave it down. He seems fascinated with it, with the way it cascades through his fingers when he cards them through it. His attentions are so gentle, so unobtrusive, as if he is unable to keep himself from simply admiring your beauty in this soft firelight.
“And that is why the Emperor envies you,” you observe to keep from losing your breath.
“Yes,” he answers quietly, his voice hardly above a whisper. “He believed that his father wanted to pass on his power to me.”
You nearly startle in surprise at his words. Not only the commander of the northern armies, not only a confidante of Marcus Aurelius, but the rightful future emperor himself?
You almost feel dizzy, though you’re not sure if it is from the shocking news or the way his fingers keep brushing your temple as he plays with your hair. “Did he?” you prompt him breathlessly, genuinely curious.
He ponders for several long moments, letting your hair stream between his fingers. You are entranced simply by looking at his features — his dark eyelashes, his sharp nose, the gentle creases by his mouth. He is so exquisitely lovely to you, so unaware of how deeply he affects you.
“I do not know,” he finally admits, tracing the side of your face before letting his hand fall back into his lap again. “He never told me.”
His words silence some of the shock you were feeling at wondering if you were in the presence of a man who was supposed to have ruled Rome. The thought of this man, this humble, honest, unpretentious warrior, ruling such a corrupt and conniving empire is almost unthinkable.
You are struck by the absence of his touch, and he seems hesitant to initiate any more contact now that he realizes how close he has drawn to you. He’s still watching you carefully, as if gauging your reaction to his touches, but you cannot resist reaching out to him now.
Your fingers seek out the necklace that hangs down to his chest, a simple cord bearing two wolf’s teeth on the end. You have never asked him about its origin. You handle it carefully, and the man barely breathes as your hand hovers over his chest.
“What would you have done if all this had never happened?” you ask softly, caught in the intimacy of this quiet moment. “Would you have been a soldier all your life?”
Your question is a heavy one, full of unspoken desire and curiosity. You can tell he senses that desire by the way his dark eyes burn into yours, by the way his chest rises and falls more quickly, as if you are taking his breath away just by touching his necklace.
He thinks for a few moments, still gazing deep into your eyes. “I always imagined I would die in battle,” he tells you, a hint of sorrow in his voice. “There seemed no other fate in store for me.”
Your heart tightens, and you let go of your loose grip on his necklace. Suddenly, all you want to do is touch him, to make contact with his body somehow. His words have struck a chord in your heart, reminding you how grateful you are that this world-weary soldier has come to your home, to your hearth, instead of falling on a battlefield hundreds of miles away.
With your pulse racing, you press your hand flat against his chest, splaying your fingers over his heart. Even through the fabric of his nightshirt, you can feel his heart pounding like a war drum, perfectly in rhythm with your own.
Oh, how you long to press your heart against his, to be wrapped up in his arms, so thoroughly tangled with his body that you cannot tell where you begin and he ends.
His breath comes more quickly now, his lips parted and his eyes scorching yours with a hunger that stirs your blood.
“But,” he begins in a hoarse whisper, his gaze flickering down to your lips and then back up, “I did imagine, sometimes…” He pauses, licks his lips again, takes a slow breath, “that if I did have a chance to grow old… I might…”
He halts again, his voice dying in his throat. You press your palm more firmly against his chest, and his heart skips a beat beneath your hand. You can feel his skin burning hot under his shirt.
“Tell me,” you whisper, and a look of unadulterated desire flashes across his face.
He leans close to you, close enough that his breath skims over your lips. “That I might one day have a home,” he breathes. “A family.” He sighs softly, the longing in his voice especially evident. “A life of peace always seemed… unlikely.”
The hesitation in his words is palpable, and suddenly his own larger hand is covering yours, pressing it tight against his chest. You realize that he is relishing your touch the way you relished his a moment ago.
After holding your hand against his heart a moment longer, he grasps your hand in his, lifts it to his lips. Your own heart skips a beat now, when he presses a slow, languid kiss to the back of your hand.
“And now?” you whisper, breathless and tingling with need.
He breathes against your hand, slowly and calmly. “Now,” he echoes, his voice rumbling in your bones. “Now a life of peace seems impossible.”
No. No, he cannot mean that. He cannot still mean to leave you when his gentle eyes speak of the passion he holds for you.
“It does not have to be,” you insist, lifting your free hand to touch the side of his face. He actually sighs at your touch, his eyes fluttering closed. His lips are slightly parted, and it takes all your willpower not to lean forward and kiss him until he can breathe nothing but your name.
His eyes remain closed when he responds, your hand still cradled in his. “To believe otherwise would be foolish,” he tells you, though his voice is anything but resolute. “Dangerous.”
You stroke the side of his face tenderly, enraptured by the way he reacts to your touch. He seems so relaxed, so overwhelmed when you caress him gently. The thought suddenly strikes you that this man has probably never been touched this way — not as light as a feather, with such love and affection that he can feel it beating in rhythm with his heart.
When you brush your fingertips down his neck, over the sensitive skin of his throat, he makes a sound so soft, so unguarded, that you nearly come undone for him right there.
“Are you not well acquainted with danger?” you whisper, leaning in closer to him. He opens his eyes when he feels you drawing nearer, and his fathomless eyes lock onto yours with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine.
You want him to stay. You want him to love you as you so desperately love him. You want him to never stop looking at you the way he is now.
And when you press your hand flat against the side of his neck, your gaze fluttering over every perfect feature of his face, his soul opens to you, and you see all the love you bear for him reflected deep in his own eyes.
“Yes,” he breathes, and he leans forward to close the few inches that separate your lips from his.
The first sensation that strikes you is his blood pulsing in his neck, hammering against your hand as you caress him. His own hand tangles in your hair, holding you in place while he presses his lips against yours.
There is no hesitation in this kiss, no second-guessing or reluctance. His lips move against yours in a rhythm so natural that you wonder if he has imagined this as many times as you have.
He tilts his head slightly to the side, drowning in your kiss like a dying man seeking air. You can feel the breath knocked out of your lungs, so unaccustomed to any attention as passionate as this. The man lifts his other hand to cradle your jaw, still kissing your lips, gently but insistently, over and over and over.
This is what heaven must be like, you realize distantly when his tongue slides against yours, every inch of your skin tingling in response. His undivided attention, his unashamed desire for you is so arousing, so delightful in every way.
You can feel your cheeks burning, your skin heating up, the longer his hands linger on your face and neck. His fingers stroke your jaw, and his other hand grips your hair just hard enough to hold you in place. He is still reveling in your kiss, still using his lips and tongue to draw out the softest moan you have ever made in your life.
As soon as he hears it, he moves his lips to press against the corner of your mouth, much as he did the first time he kissed you in the barn. He trails his lips down your jaw, peppering kisses on every inch of skin he passes.
Thoroughly excited by his kisses and touches, your mind is all too eager to provide any number of tempting images. When he dips his head to one side, lips touching the place where your jaw meets your neck, all you can imagine is the careful way he would undress you, lay you down, and make love to you, slowly and gently but passionately.
He drags his lips down your neck, his curious tongue coaxing another soft sound from you. Again, your mind flashes to all the ways he might use his tongue on you, all the places he could seek out and tease until you are so dizzy with pleasure that all you can say is his name, over and over.
Another press of his tongue, and it takes all your strength not to beg him to take you right here. You can imagine it so easily, the way he would grip your waist, your hips, the way you would wrap yourself around him and touch every inch of his bare skin if he would only give you the chance.
What would you not give to see him shudder in pleasure, to throw his head back and hold you tight as you cling to him and make him feel the same thing he ignites in you?
It’s at that moment that he whispers your name, tenderly, reverently, like a prayer, against the soft column of your throat. Your whole body shudders in response, your hands tightening where they have landed on his broad shoulders, and he finally fulfills what you have been aching for.
One strong arm wraps around your waist, the other around your upper back, and in the space of a breath the man has pulled you against him, leaning you to the side so that you are cradled in his arms across his lap.
You are suddenly very aware of how thin your shift is, of the way he must be able to feel every curve of your body pressed against him. His fingers are gentle where they wrap around your waist, and you feel with heightened awareness all the strength of his own body, all his powerful muscles and vigorous energy.
All you can do is sigh in pleasure as he keeps his head buried in your neck, still kissing your sensitive skin as though he cannot get enough of you.
You can barely take a breath, so overcome with the multitude of sensations he ignites in you. His hand flexes against your waist, and you respond in kind with your fingers digging into his back.
You have the distinct impression that the man is having to physically restrain himself from going further, that all he wants to do right now is yank open your shift and kiss his way down your bare body. As irresistible as that thought is, you let him take the lead, and he chooses to simply kiss you rather than ravish you.
He is a noble man, a man of honor, and though your body is aching for him to truly make you his, you take pleasure in his self-control, his respect for you.
His fervent kisses to your neck finally slow, and he breathes against your skin as though trying to memorize you. When he nuzzles his face against your neck, all you can do is close your eyes in absolute ecstasy. One of your hands finds its way into his hair, and it’s his turn to shiver with pleasure, pulling you even closer against his body and resting his lips against the curve of your neck.
He goes still in your arms when you stroke his hair, slowly and tenderly with your fingertips. Again, you are struck by his reactions to your gentle touches, by the way he melts into your arms as though overpowered.
Several long moments are spent in that position, with you cradled against his chest, his face against your neck. You would be content to stay like this all night, just listening to him breathe, feeling his heart beating against your side.
But the moment passes, as all moments do. Another crack of thunder shakes the house, and you can’t help but jump a little in his arms.
As if pulled out of his daze, the man smiles softly against your neck, strokes your back soothingly in a way that only serves to make you arch your body against his. A moment later, he lifts his head from the crook of your shoulder, letting his face brush against yours as you disentangle yourselves.
Though you have just spent the last few moments passionately embracing and kissing, and though both of you are still flushed and breathless with exhilaration, the following moment is not awkward. You do not look at each other as you part, but you can sense your own relief and contentment in him.
You do not know what will come of this. You do not know if he will stay much longer. But in a moment like this, with your lips still swollen from his kiss and your skin still burning from his touch, you feel as though no heartbreak can be as vast as this perfect fulfillment you feel with him.
You stand slowly, glad that you are not as unsteady as you feel, and you lift the kettle off the fire just to have something to do. You can feel the man’s eyes on you, though he does not speak.
“It is a fierce storm tonight,” you comment, almost without realizing that you are speaking. The silence between you was comfortable, but you long to say something, to know that he is still at ease with you.
He takes his time in responding, especially since you have your back to him. “Yes,” he says simply, his voice deep and husky.
Stars, how you want to hear that voice in your ear, in your bed, murmuring to you while you both reach the height of your shared pleasure.
You swallow hard to banish your intrusive thoughts. You move to set the kettle down in your cabinet and scramble to think of something else to say. Rain continues to pound against your roof, sending a slight chill through the air despite the warmth of the fire.
“Will you be warm enough tonight?” you ask over your shoulder, still conscious of his eyes burning into your back.
Again, he takes his time answering. “Yes,” he finally replies. “Will you?”
You let the question hang, still standing with your back to him. You hope he can understand your wordless answer, especially after sharing such an intimate moment.
The only warmth I crave now is the heat of your body against mine.
Still trying to avoid meeting his eyes, you half-turn to pick up your two empty cups from the table. Doing so makes you lean against the side of the little square table, and you notice with great surprise that it does not tilt dangerously to the side as it has for the last several months.
The table legs are perfectly even now, and you suddenly raise your eyes to look at the man squarely. He is gazing at you with the oddest combination of expressions — desire, contentment, admiration, sorrow, longing, affection, and several others you cannot name.
“You fixed my table,” you observe, genuinely struck by the kindness of his simple gesture. You don’t know when he did it, but sometime in the last few days he must have noticed the unsteadiness and taken the time to fix it somehow.
He holds your gaze for a long moment, and a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “It needed fixing,” he replies simply.
Your heart leaps into your throat, though you can’t say quite why. Despite the fact that just a moment ago you were wrapped up in his arms, sighing while he covered your neck with kisses, you are much more affected by his modest demonstration of kindness — fixing something of yours that was broken.
“Thank you,” you tell him softly, returning his small smile with all the warmth blossoming in your heart.
You finish your task, setting the two cups in the cabinet to be washed tomorrow. The storm outside has quieted somewhat, but you can still hear the constant pounding of raindrops on the roof and walls.
Quiet thunder rolls in the distance as you turn to look at the man again. He is still seated, leaning forward with his knees on his elbows, gazing at you curiously.
This is what you want: this man in your home, always, sharing your fire, sharing your space, looking at you as if you hold his heart in your hands.
The words spill from your lips before you can consider them. “My father always told me that a storm can make a person change their mind about anything.” You hear the significance in your own words, and you press on anyway. “He said it’s in their nature to bring about transformation.”
The man’s darkened eyes do not leave yours for a moment, and you hold his gaze steadily, wanting him to hear your unspoken plea.
Stay with me. Let me love you as I do in my dreams.
His face does not betray any decision, but his gaze is tender, filled with a weary longing. His eyes explore each feature of your face as gently as his fingers did a few moments ago.
“Perhaps I will listen to it for awhile, then,” he murmurs, and your heart sighs.
All is not lost. You must simply wait.
As you start towards the doorway that leads to your bedroom, you pause beside his chair. The man is looking up at you with eyes that melt you to your very soul. Overcome with your affection for him, you lift one hand and stroke the side of his face, smiling down at him fondly.
“Goodnight, general,” you whisper, and your heart whispers, Beloved.
Before you can drop your hand, the man wraps his fingers around it and brings it to his lips. An unhurried kiss to the back of your hand, one that sends another shiver down your spine, and he releases you. His eyes burn into yours, intense, ardent, yearning.
“Goodnight,” he whispers, and your heart hears his whisper, Beloved, long after you have slipped into the next room.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
More of my fanfiction if you're so inclined :)
#this may or may not be the best standalone fic i've ever written#i forgot about it but it seemed appropriate for halloween hehe#in case anyone is wondering this is what is happening in my brain constantly#this is just the words version of it#maximus is ALWAYS on my mind#i am eternally longing for sweet moments like this#i swoon i yearn i melt i die#the thought of sharing a moment like this with him???#i go into cardiac arrest#i wrote this and it still makes me melt every time i reread it#because it's from the heart!!#this was written with all the love i bear for him!!!#welcome to this tiny glimpse into my heart and soul friends#enjoy the drama#and the love#and the spicy hints here and there hehehehe#oh maximus how i love you#how i would love you if given the chance#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe#fanfiction#gladiator fanfiction#maximus x reader#maximus decimus meridius x reader#my fanfiction
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Please enjoy :)
Two more with spoilers below
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#falin touden#farcille#marcille donato#senshi#mithrun#chilchuck tims#lycion#kabumisu#laicion#spreading the laicion propaganda discretely...#don't mind me :)#kabru's username is a reference to another compilation by Fumifooms :)#edit: if you’re going to be a hater on any ship in the fandom; this post is not for you (certified: a multishipper)#this applies to everyone going “eww Marcille x Laios is heteronormative why would you ship it”. This is not for you (signed: a bi trans man#or anyone hating on the recent m/m popularity. Shipping is not a competition#you like a ship? Reblog art and share fanfics. Raise the voice and motivation of artists who do what you like.#don’t pull down others. Hate is a vicious self-aggravating cycle. Ship and let ship. Block what you don’t like#you know. Fandom etiquette.#I thought we were adults here.#fy posts
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Something other about his eyes
Bonus! Based on this quick thing I did this afternoon and the idea took a bit more shape and turned into that thing from above uEK
#not too much effort on the colors with this one#o would’ve left it just with lineart but at the end I thought it would look nicer with some rough shadows#shadowing. you know what I meant.#his plant markings being extremely faint on his eyes when they aren’t glowing is very true to me also#I think itd be awesome if Vash’s eyes would just look like that when he isn’t masking#or they could be a bit more lax but still look like they are staring far far away into the void#or into your souls if you so happen to make eye contact with him. like woowoo over here#he is probably listening for one of his sisters who is not so close to him. maybe even Kni? who knows it’s up to interpretation#Vash’s hair can be such a nightmare also. I do not think of physics when drawing him whatsoever#I give him the Mickey Mouse ears treatment sometimes and some other I actually respect the fact that his hair will always be swept#to the right. if you haven’t noticed that yet. I think it’s way more noticeable on the 2d art#which is a nice touch! considering that’s the direction I’m which his haircut was when they were kids. isn’t that fun#anyways weird Vash for me once again and I’ll share a little with you. ah I’ll get to the requests later btw!#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#trigun fanart#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#lenssi draws#vash saverem#ah extra note. this is meant to be pre plant revelation. I think Vash would already know about what WW is there for since very early on#but about the plant thing he was still a little doubtful since he wouldn’t think Kni would disclose that information so easily.#so seeing that Nick has a very keen eye and is very observant kind of ticks him off even though he is just the same. so maybe that’s why#it ticks him in the first place. headcanons everywhere in this household
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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tfw you’re each others (literal) ride-or-dies ✊
turning these into charms/stickers soon for a limited preorder 💚
#shares are super appreciated!#ALSO please let me know if you’d like an option where mobius is wearing his new outfit. iykyk!#I just thought the classic fits are more recognizable! let me know what you guys think?#denev’s art#denev’s merch#art#loki#mobius#lokius#marvel#mcu#artists on tumblr#fanart#illustration#digital art#small business#acrylic charms#stickers
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