#shannon i can't take this anymore. i literally can't

[the-way-astray]

sophie in lodestar: *explodes a door with her mind*

sophie in nightfall: oh no, how am i going to get through a locked door

[lordkuntfuck]

Au where a drunk newly 19 year old Eddie shacks up with a girl, not long before he gets together with Shannon. 9 months later a baby shows up on his doorstep.

(I'm sorry in advance)

Not knowing what to do but not wanting to just abandon a baby, Eddie and Shannon take him in. Everything continues as is in canon (to an extent) but now with the extra layer of chris not actually being biologically Shannon's (so her story is even more heartbreaking (I love her, this is not Shannon bashing at all))

Eddie joins the 118 and meets the firefam, all is well. He can't help but think that Buck guy looks vaguely familiar but then again blond white jocks are pretty indistinguishable.

One day, a few years later, their all talking about their childhoods while on a q-word shift. Buck says something along the lines of "when I was little girl" without thinking about it.

Everyone's a little surprised but very accepting obviously.

Later after the shift, when they're alone, Buck needs to find out more on how Eddie feels about him being trans so tells him he can ask him anything. Eddie asks about like when and how he knew and stuff like that. It starts getting a bit emotional cuz of the Buckley parents and whatnot.

So to lighten the mood Buck makes a joke about being a really hot woman and he knew the world couldn't handle it so he had to transition for the sake of humanity. Eddie makes a snarky comment about how that's impossible (and quietly thinks that no way Buck could be hotter as a woman than he is as a man).

Buck takes offense (jokingly) and decides he needs to prove himself. He shows a photo to Eddie when he was 18, not long before he was able to start socially and medically transitioning (he couldn't before because of his parents). He's also not usually this nonchalant about himself pre-transition but it's Eddie and he trusts him.

Eddie's about to make another joke but as he takes a closer look at the photo, he almost drops Buck's phone. Because no fucking way.

Buck thinks Eddie's reaction is to how hot he was and makes a comment about how he knew Eddie would be drooling over him (he tries not to hurt himself too much with that thought, it was just meant to be a joke after all)

But then he realises that Eddie isn't laughing anymore and he's like having a full blown panic attack and shit what just happened.

Meanwhile Eddie's mind is slowly imploding because what the hell is he meant to do with the knowledge that not only has he already slept with Buck, did so when Buck was in a body he was massively uncomfortable with (which makes Eddie feel extremely guilty), but that there's an extremely high likelihood that he's the father of Buck's son.

Not that he isn't completely shocked by this cuz like come on despite all the years of trying and failing to not wonder who Chris's bio mom was, this scenerio certainly never crossed his mind. And yet somehow he can't say he's that surprised, the amount of time people have thought Buck was Chris's dad instead of Eddie becuase of how similar they look. It actually makes perfect sense.

And maybe he'd be more freaked out if Buck wasn't as close to Christopher as he is because seriously he's thought of that man as a second father to his son for the last however many years already, it's actually kind of a comfort to found out he literally is.

It's that though that finally calms Eddie down enough to allow him to breathe normally again.

Buck is looking at him with that look (you know the one) and Eddie kinda melts on the spot.

Now he just needs to figure out how to break the news to Buck without freaking him out so much that he'll leave again.

Cuz that's another thing, Buck didn't want that kid, except Eddie knows Buck and he knows how much he craves a family so why the fuck did he abandon Chris on his doorstep all those years ago (seriosuly is there any adult in his son's life that hasnt left him at least once, god that poor kid). Also how does Buck not know, if he knew enough to know which house to drop the kid off at, how doesn't he recognise him, he hasn't changed that much. Or maybe he does know but hasn't said anything because he doesnt want that. There are so many questions and Eddie doenst know what to do, he kinda wants to break down again but he feels too drained to even do that.

They don't end up talking about it that night, they just sit with each other until it gets late enough that Buck realises he should get going so he's not a zombie at work tomorrow. Eddie let's him leave.

Buck doesn't really get what happened that night, everything was going fine until he showed Eddie that old photo of him. He couldnt help but think that sure maybe Eddie was fine with him being trans as like a passive thing that happened to him, but when Buck forced him to see the changes he'd gone through it got too much? Eddie's pretty repressed and grew up catholic of course this was gonna be difficult for him to accept when he was probably told people like Buck where freaks of nature or somehting (obviously not all Catholics believed that but he's spiraling here)

After many many hours of self-hatred, a long long talk with Maddie (which included a lot of cuddling with his favourite niece), and a metophorical slap round the head from Chim, Hen and Bobby. Buck confronts Eddie about it.

Eddie feels like a peice of shit for making Buck think his reaction was due to transphobia, and he felt even worse when Buck tried making excuses for him.

Eddie realises he has to come clean.

Buck freaks out as expected. However it's not for any of the reasons that Eddie thought it would be.

Turns out when Buck realised he was pregnant he returned home. He hadn't been gone for long and he really didn't want to have to go back already but he couldn't do this by himself and he wasn't about to ask the random dude he'd hooked up with at a party to raise a child with him. His parents were shocked and reprimanded his behaviour but helped him through his pregnancy nevertheless. Buck suspects it was because they that this meant he would finally change his mind about being trans, but if course it didn't, leading to so many fights and leaving a very hormonal Buck in tears everytime.

Buck doesn't remeber giving birth, he doesn't even remember the drive to the hospital. All he remembers is waking up, his parents sitting by his side, Maddie nowhere to be seen (she was never told, iconic that they both ended up keeping pretty big secrets from each other involving a child). His dad looked stoic but somber, and his mom had two perfect tear tracks running down her face, her makeup left unaffected.

Immediately Buck knew something was wrong, it didn't take a genius to figure out what that something was. His parents told him the baby hadn't even taken a first breath.

Buck looked up at Eddie after finishing the tale of the worst day of his life. Eddie was red faced and crying, Buck had never told anyone else that story before, not even his therapist, he knew he looked much worse.

Eddie takes Buck's hands in his own, forcing Buck to meet his gaze, and says with as much love as humanely possible "he's alive". Buck let's out another sob, and God he sounds so wrecked. Eddie repeats himself, "he is alive, Chris is alive, our son is alive"

Before Buck can respond the phone rings, it's the hospital, Chris was in some kind of accident and he's being taken into surgery, they don't know if he's gonna make it yet.

Buck is delirious, he almost wants to laugh because he's just found out that his child that's he's thought was dead for the past 13 years is actually not only alive but the son of the literal love of his life (whos very much straight and does not reciprocate by the way), now might actually be dead. The whiplash is enough to kill a man.

Eddie has gone pale, he looks like he's about to throw up, Buck cant help but think ditto (okay he's still a bit delirious)

They race to the hospital, neither of them should be driving but they're not about to waste time waiting for an uber.

When they got to the hospital, one of the parents of another kid in Chris's class is there. She tells them she was driving them back to hers for the kids' sleepover when a drunk driver smashed into the side of the car, the side Chris happened to be on.

Hospitals are shit. Waiting rooms in hospitals are even more shit. Waiting in a waiting room in a hospital while your son is having potentially life saving surgery and no reassurance that he's going to make it is soul destroyingly shit.

Buck's mind is stuck in a loop of "his first breath was stolen from you, now his last breath mightve been too"

After what felt like a lifetime of misery, a doctor finally approaches them.

Eddie is grasping Buck's hand so tightly he thinks he might break it (hey at least he's already in a hospital his brain provides)

The harmonious sighs of relief that punch out of the two men when the doctor tells them the good news could surely be heard the next state away.

For the second time that day Eddie turns to Buck, with tears staining his face and a wobbly smile and says "he's alive"

[matan4il]

911 ep 709 first watch reactions

The way this ep starts with giving us a clear shot focused on the front, solely on Buck sitting between the man he's dating and the man he's been married to for the past six years, and only on them. XD I'm here for it.

Oh, Bobby. :( Feeling unworthy of his medal, and remembering his dad, and how everything went wrong after he got it. </3

Aaaah. Man, IDK. The openly and explicitly homophobic and racist captain cartoon just feels like an easy target now. Prejudice doesn't seem like it mostly gets expressed that way anymore, and when we only teach people to reject that kind, we not only fail to teach them to recognize subtler forms, we may be misleading them to think those more nuanced ones don't count.

Love Athena trying to "save" Bobby by contacting Amir. I'm always a sucker for a couple where they both save each other.

I enjoyed the little play with "Mother Hen," and I know it's not specifically about Buddie, but it is damn funny that when she's told she's raising more kids, they're the ones the camera focuses on. lol Raising a kid together for 6 years, still a couple of morons in desperate need of parenting from their colleagues. Even when Bobby's "wordless goodbye" moment with Buck is letting him cook for the 118, Eddie's by his side and they're doing it together. I swear, 911 said, "Take note, this is what a marriage looks like" and then just kept hammering the point for 6 seasons now.

Okay, I am pretty sure that, while Bobby's acceptance of Buck's first relationship with a guy, is really lovely, "Because we haven't had to talk about it" is not an actual good criterion for discerning whether someone is good for their partner or not. People whose spouses are abusive don't talk about it, either. :/ I am NOT saying that's Buck and Tommy, because it obviously isn't, it just feels like a line thrown in there to be cutesy, but which isn't actually helpful to people, who might take it too seriously.

I AM GONNA LOL FOREVER. So, just like Buck's bi awakening was all about Eddie, now Eddie's messed up whatever he has with Kim is gonna involve Buck, too? Gotcha. Battlefield boyfriends being off-battlefield boyfriends once more.

So... Buck was going to see Tommy, in an ep where TPTB have already paid for Lou in the role, so might as well use him as much as possible, but instead a non-emergency run in with Eddie's current whatever-Kim-is makes Buck ditch Tommy, and run straight over to Eddie's to help him? Look, I'm obviously a One True Pairing kind of shipper, so Buddie are it for me, as much as I can enjoy and see the value of Buck and Tommy as a stepping stone, and nothing will make me stop shipping Buddie (especially not after the tsunami eps), but 911 is feeding me way too well with how it frames these scenes and stories, I don't think the show's trying to get me to stop.

Man, if anyone's ever had a doubt that Eddie is the world champion at denial, this kitchen scene will def cure that.

"I'm worried about you." "Yeah, I'm worried about me, too." And then Buck, the one person who can ALWAYS penetrate through Eddie's denial wall, no matter how thick it is.

Eh, IDK how much the part where they try to re-define Shannon as the love of Eddie's life works, or how much it just serves to show he's still in denial, just a different kind than before, when Buck got through to him that he can't go on like this with Kim. For one thing, in his little retelling of their dysfunctional r/s, Eddie doesn't mention that Shannon was leaving him a second time, even before she died. Literal denial and repression.

So I'm gonna choose to believe Hen and Karen will get Mara back, because I can't deal with that particular storyline otherwise.

Kim's reaction is too deranged for me. Who does something like that, even if we assume the kindest of intentions? And then Marisol and Christopher's timing... I didn't sign on to watch a soap opera, but I guess I'm getting one free of charge?

"Now you gotta save yourself." If that ain't a painful summary of what growing up means, IDK what is. the conversation with Bobby's dad in his sleep was a good, painful scene, built right, leading to him hopefully getting his closure through saving his wife from a fire, and leaving us with just the right amount of suspension for next week and the season finale, where we'll see if he can let go of his past mistakes without a doppelganger dressing up like his dead wife...

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[lover-of-mine]

it's also not lost on me that the people acting like those who don't care about bucktommy want buck to never have been with another man, are now turning around and saying that eddie should be alone for the rest of his life if he doesn't end up with buck...just say you hate characters of color if they don't exist to serve as props for the pretty white boy and go lol

I mean, literally, people don't even want Eddie to have loved his wife because that would make it so he didn't always exist for Buck. If he's not a prop on Buck's story, he's nothing for some people and that's very telling. Buck needs to fuck all of LA but Eddie needs to be the sad widower forever. Just say you hate Eddie and only shipped buddie because it was the only option and go.

But, anon, darling, since I'm going controversial right now because I don't give a fuck anymore and I'm just tired, I'm gonna use this to say my most controversial Buck/Eddie thought ever. I think narratively, you can introduce a love interest for Eddie, man or woman, that would be a satisfying endgame relationship for him in a way you can't do with Buck. Obviously, it wouldn't be as satisfying as if he ends up with Buck, I think that buddie is the natural progression of the narrative for both Buck and Eddie. And I desperately want that payoff. That being said, considering the way that what stops Eddie from pursuing actual happiness in a romantic relationship is pretty much his status as a widower, the way he can't let go of what he thinks he could've had with Shannon if he had made different choices, and this idea of what he needs to provide in a relationship that goes against what he actually needs, to have him realize that and meet someone who helps him be happy that he is alive again could work. To suddenly give him that spark he keeps saying he wants and let him settle into it could work. It would have to be constructed carefully, but it can be constructed. Buck on the other hand, his endgame relationship needs a level of construction that would take an amount of work the show just doesn't have the time to build anymore. Unless the show is gonna have 20 seasons and give grey's anatomy a run for its money. Because considering the way Buck keeps letting himself be chased because he wants stability but he's too scared to actually do something about it and end up making the wrong choice, he needs a friends to lovers arc for it to be satisfying. Buck needs that initial level of partnership outside of the physical connection before he gets into a romantic relationship in my opinion. Even more considering Buck's relationship with sex, his own body, his sense of self worth, I think he needs someone who will see him fully before wanting to add romance into it and that's Eddie. They don't have the time to introduce someone who will take this spot in Buck's life and have it naturally progress into something romantic because that spot is already filled. Buck has been consistently shown as someone who jumps into the physical aspect of a relationship first, from groovyheels to Tommy, so I think that the only relationship that would feel truly satisfying for Buck to end up in, is one with someone who loved him without the physical first. And that's always gonna be Eddie. There's no way to add a second best friend for Buck at this point of the show. So someone else is never gonna live up to this need Buck has to be understood beyond what he can offer. To be loved anyway. For Buck it's always gonna be Eddie. But I think Eddie could learn to be loved by someone else if the show really wanted to keep them apart. I don't want it to happen, I want both of them together, I think it's the best ending for the story they are telling, but in a reality where buddie is not on the table, I think it makes more sense for Buck to end up alone than Eddie. It would be tragic. But it would make more sense than Buck with whoever and Eddie alone.

And also the people who want Eddie to be alone need to go. Along with the people who want Eddie to die so that bt can raise Chris. Along with the people who think Eddie is a prop on Buck's story. Along with the people who can't seem to see Eddie beyond what he can offer Buck. Along with everyone who can't seem to understand Eddie is also a main character. Anyone who doesn't see Eddie as his own character needs to go.

[amemenojaku]

I saw umineko stage ep3 today!! it was amazing. the quality level is insane. I got goosebumps several times and it even managed to make me tear up... everyone's performances felt like they all know their characters so well now 🥺🙏 the lights, costumes and choreography were all perfect too

some thoughts (major umineko spoilers obviously):

young eva/evatrice's performance in particular was just. literally perfect? the way she delivered her lines, carried herself, her laugh resounding onstage and the little things she did when she wasn't the center of attention were all 100% in character. she was adorable during the ceremony where she becomes the new beatrice, introducing herself to the goats and giggling w the 7 sisters, and she was absolutely terrifying in rosa's and maria's death scene. also mad props to the costume designer(s) who did her sailor outfit that turns into the witch outfit almost instantly

everything beato's actress did had me go :] there's a lot of cute beato scenes in ep3 and she was adorable in the goofy, endearing way og beato is in the story while still being cool and fun when needed in the other scenes

and last but not least eva's actress did an amazing job too, especially during the emotional scenes of her character (when she solves the riddle, finds the gold, hideyoshi's & george's deaths). her lungs' strength is impressive lol. it's been 4 hours and I still clearly remember her screams

overall I loved the way so many of the actors and actresses would just do little things when they were on stage but not in the spotlight/not talking, like the chiesters whispering in each others bunny ears instead of their human ears/covering their bunny ears because of loud noises, or the 7 sisters just jumping around and messing w each other, maria taking her notebook out of her bag and reading it, etc. they weren't just standing doing nothing and it always felt very in character, too. there was always something new no matter which part of the stage you're looking at

rudolf's actor looked and acted like he came straight out of a yakuza movie? ik he was already like that in the previous episodes but for some reason I felt it even more this time. might be because of the fight against the sisters before he and kyrie die (which was probably my favorite action scene btw. really cool choreography). I'm not complaining though. made me like the character even more

speaking of rudolf. at some point during one of the scenes where the adults discuss beato's first letter, he just... started massaging hideyoshi's shoulders? he did that for at least a full minute before hideyoshi's actor nodded as thanks and he stopped. I have no idea if this was part of the script or if the guys just decided it on their own??

when gohda does his night check of the mansion right before his death he was actually walking in the aisles with his lantern before he got up on stage!! he got to tell a joke and do some fun stuff before being killed and never being relevant again. rip

beato asking battler to give her a new name now that evatrice inherited hers, ronove on the side of the stage writing a stupid nickname on some paper to show her only for her to get annoyed, rip the paper from his hands and stomp on it

I don't know if this was done on purpose or not, but when eva fires the shot that blinds jessica and jessica accuses her of being the culprit, pointing at some random direction since she can't see anymore, she actually pointed at shannon's corpse on the sofa behind her. it could very well just be a coincidence. but. yea

krauss drinking straight from the fucking bottle during the golden land party scene at the end and getting completely smashed

ange!! she was so cool and cute. she punched the goats. I can't wait to see her in ep4 😭

battler literally Just Standing There at the very end, when ange and beato start duking it out before the episode's over 🧍

the curtain call was super cute. everyone got together to pose for the cameras before they realised beato wasn't here so they had kinzo cry for her in the infamous kinzo way and she graced them (and us) with her presence :)

battler's actor: "so we'll need your support -and- your gold for episode 4 to happen"

cat nanjo be upon ye

[valenschmidt]

I'm finding this seasons promos and interviews very interesting in regards to Eddie and Buddie. I mean, like with Tim's recent interview.

Like, Tim, buddy, pal, bro, friend, man, WHAT DO YOU MEAN by "Eddie's going to be left out in the cold, so to speak" bc like, I get Buck is probably excited to learn about this new aspect of himself and delve into this whole other world of dating he didn't really know was for him. I also find it funny how now it seems Tim is reversing their (Buck and Eddie) roles; Eddie perhaps being the jealous one and Buck being, I guess the best word would be oblivious (it's okay, we love him anyway).

I also think it's going to be interesting because, like, Eddie doesn't have Chris to hide behind anymore. Chris was a shield he had learned to use to divulge his personal feelings, deflecting what he felt onto his son, even when chris didn't feel the same (?). He was quite good at that, and I think Chris gave him a way to not look too closely at some things in his life. Some things *cough cough* that might perhaps scare him.

But now that Chris is gone and Buck is dating and exploring new things and not around as much (which is what I gathered from Tim's interview), Eddie is going to have to sit with these thoughts and feelings that have plagued him for a long time, I think, and he's going to have to take a deeper look into who he is and what he wants and feels without having someone to hide behind. And I think some things having to do with that Catholic guilt too are going to come out full force and he's going to have to reevaluate some relationships in his life. *cough*

As the days for the premier draw closer, I can't help but feel that something is coming about Buck and Eddie's friendship and the dynamic they have is going to change drastically. It might be worse for an ep or 2 - one might pull away from the other so much the team gets involved. But I have hope yet!

Hi there nonnie!!!! That is a very interesting and awesome observation you did there and I SO agree with you

I really believe this season Tim is circling back to that 7x04 jealousy dynamic but this time not only from Eddie's pov but ALSO Tommy is a boyfriend that is coming between them, not just a new friend. The fact that Eddie will feel isolated and left behind is probably gonna be because of the same reason Buck felt it before, because Tommy is a man who is kind of replacing him in Buck's life (which had never happened with his previous girlfriends) which is kind of odd if you think about it because if you were never afraid of the women in Buck's life, why does a man who is in that same position as those ex girlfriends threaten you... well that is because their friendship is a very close knit tight, co-dependent one that is VERY similar to a relationship but they don't know it yet. That is why both of them feel replaced when there is man between them. Because them having other friends and taking some distance from eachother is completely healthy and normal but because they have this weird friendship that is more closer to a relationship than friendship itself they feel replaced by a man getting too close so I feel we will see that shift in their dynamic because of it

That second thing is something that I was just talking to my friend about... Eddie is now without Chris and (not quite but it feels that way to him) without Buck so he really will need to have to sit with his thoughts and feelings for a while and it is time for him to do so because he needs to process everything that has happened. He needs to ask himself why he did what he did, why is he so attached to Shannon, his dead wife who literally was going to DIVORCE him right before she died and why does he keep their previous relationship so idealized... the reason??? Well Shannon is the only woman he has ever managed to have feelings for because she was his best friend, he cared about her and so he loved her. But he hasn't managed to replicate that feeling with any woman no matter how hard he tries...

And that is gonna mix with the fact that he's gonna be missing Buck and he'll realize how attached he is to him and maybe begin to connect the dots together and say "Oh. I think I'm in love with my best friend" because he is. Completely in love with Buck... he has been since the will scene at least, but he hasn't realized it because Buck isn't a woman. He hasn't realized that Buck literally has every quality that he looks for in a girlfriend (someone who loves Chris, who has his back, who understands him, etc.) And when he realizes it's gonna be HUGE

And then we will get everything about his sexuality realization, his introspection to every action he's ever done in his life and realizing the explanation to many of the things he's done and felt.

To finish, I think that the dynamic change you talk about it's probably gonna be cause by those feelings Eddie will have about Buck spending time with Tommy. He's gonna feel jealous, threatened, and when he's threatened he becomes petty and mean and that could make him say something that could drive Buck away (which he wasn't before with Eddie but he will be after he gets upset)

Wow that was a lot of talking 🤣

Thank you for sharing your thoughts anon!!!! Feel free to send them any time!!!

[daniclaytcn]

the fact that people consider eddie a bad person for it is extremely telling. i would be behaving worse than him!!! id probably have a full breakdown in that store!!!! ive seen people irl who resemble exes or people who hurt me before and it genuinely ruins my whole day but NOTHING like what happened with eddie and shannon has happened with me

no just imagine for a moment tho...you met her when you were fourteen. she was your first love. the both of you became parents before you were ready, when you were too young. you got married before either of you were prepared for it, because that's what was expected of you. you went away to war and nearly died. you fucked up. she couldn't take it anymore and she left. you didn't know where she was for two years or if she was coming back—until she did. you haven't even begun to address all the complicated emotions you feel about her at the moment but you let her back in anyway. she tells you she might be pregnant. you propose to her again. turns out, she's not pregnant AND she wants a divorce. and then she dies. and you've been trying so hard to heal and to move on, but she haunts you at every turn. you've idealized her and your relationship with her because she's safe and she can't hurt you (anymore). and then you quite literally meet a woman who could be her twin sister. what DO you do in a situation like that. idk.

[eddiestightywhities]

okay the birthday scene utterly destroyed me because WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT HORRENDOUSNESS??

this is gonna be long and heated so i'm sticking it under a cut…

i've only watched the ep once, so could be forgetting things, and therefore might be back to say more once i've watched it again!

helena (and ramón by proxy) perpetuating the emotional child abuse by flipping the parentification of eddie sideways and morphing it into ‘you're not here for me (helena) anymore so i'm punishing you in the same (perceived) way you punished me by literally and now also emotionally taking your child away from you’ is so fucked up and vile that i can't even think straight.

chris is angry with his dad, which—fair. BUT! would he really still be in the exact same emotionally fragile place AFTER THREE FUCKING MONTHS if his abuelos were doing what they should be doing by speaking to him about it and trying their damnedest to help out eddie—THEIR FUCKING SON—on his path to reconciling with his son? I THINK FUCKING NOT. instead of being a magnanimous go-between, as they should be, they (she) are clearly actively encouraging a young teen to shun his doting father (who, granted, fucked-up royally, but in his defence was kind of losing his mind at the time and did nothing to directly nor intentionally hurt his child), shun his best friend (and let's be real: other parent), shun his whole life in LA (his other abuela and his tia/his peers/school life/carla etc), shun the loving home EDDIE has made for him, while selfishly manipulating him by giving him ‘everything’ a kid could want to entice him to stay there (omg the fucking “he loves the water!”—do they even understand what it took for eddie and buck to help chris get over his fear of water after the tsunami? do they even know?!), in texas, the very place eddie wanted to remove his son from, thus enabling him to live it up as only a spoilt rotten grandchild can, with them (her), so that they (she) can get a second chance at feeling like Good Parents, because they know they got it wrong with (at least) eddie. helena, in her very messed-up head, has never forgiven her son for leaving her for shannon, and has spent years punishing eddie for that, yet hasn't really ever felt the satisfaction she craves—until now.

because now, finally, helena has what she has wanted for so long, and so the emotional abuse continues, just in a different form.

and poor, poor, loving eddie, knowing that he badly screwed up, tried to show his kid that he understood he made a mistake, and that he sees his pain, and decided to give chris the space he needed—and by doing so gave his mother the one thing he never wanted to allow to happen, the thing she has always wanted ever since he ‘left’ her: helena's revenge.

eddie decorating his living room with a banner with christopher's name and buying party hats and balloons etc (which, sure, is now too childish a thing for chris to enjoy, but goddammit eddie is trying), having chris's buck there for him, and inviting tommy over (and who knows how he actually felt about that) because he knows chris thinks he's a cool guy, was eddie trying so, so hard to let his boy know just how much he is wanted and loved and missed.

chris is (just!) fourteen, though, and unless all of this effort is pointed out to him, of course he wouldn't care and would be sullen and unappreciative—that's teenagers for you! and of course his grandparents (helena) absolutely did not prime him for the zoom chat with his dad (ON HIS FUCKING BIRTHDAY), as they should've; of course they (she) let him take the reins with this and be dismissive of his father's attempts at healing his relationship with his boy; of course, of course, of course. ramón obviously goes along with whatever the fuck helena wants because of the guilt he has over not being there for her or his kids when they were growing up, giving helena permission to revel in her ‘justified’ reprisal.

i think that if eddie didn't understand that he needs to hold it together, now more than ever—he has to be okay, to be in a place where he can get his son back—he'd be smashing up the entire state of california, never mind just his bedroom. thankfully—LIKE, THANK FUCKING FUCK—he has has his real family, the 118, and his partner in life, buck, and his new moustache lol, to keep him going. honestly though, the guy deserves more than a silver star for his herculean efforts with this shit-show.

christopher will forgive eddie, because shannon and eddie raised a bright and empathetic human being who will eventually see that his dad never in a million years meant to hurt him. and eddie will forgive his parents, whether they deserve it or not, because he is historically a selfless and kind human being who absolutely would not want to teach his son resentment.

but istfg there better be some sort of resolution (if only one sided, although i'd love helena and ramón—more helena, as we've already had a scene of ramón expressing his regrets and being almost tender with his son—show a little humility and see them make room for recognising and taking responsibility for their mistakes) for eddie diaz and the continuous psychological torment inflicted on him by his parents (helena). OR ELSE!

jfc, this silly show does not have the right to get me this riled up lol.

[bastardtrait]

Evan and Konner. The mouth and the eyes. The panopticon in the centre of the prison. Nothing--and I mean nothing--got past the two of them. Least of all a perceived transgression against the team.

transcript:

EVAN: Toby. KONNER: Toby. TOBY: Yo. Is…there a reason you stopped me like we're in a movie?

EVAN: Are you really going to some art auction thing on Saturday instead of my party? TOBY: What? …Konner. KONNER: (shrugs) It's a free school, Toby. EVAN: Toby, you've known about this literally for months. You know how lame it'd be for you to ditch?

KONNER: First you don't think team-building is important. Then you tell Evan that football isn't your 'thing' anymore when we've been a team for like, four years. Now you're gonna ditch the party of the year? To go to a little art thing on the Indian rez? TOBY: Konner, I thought I told you to watch your fucking mouth.

EVAN: Nah, he's right, dude--you've changed. And I used to think it was because you started dating Shannon, but now? I think it's about Eddie. TOBY: (scoff) What about Eddie? He's been my friend since we were kids! EVAN: Well sure, but at the cost of the team? We're your friends too! Or I thought we were.

TOBY: Sure, we're friends, but come on, man, I've been spending all my waking hours with the team. EVAN: That's what it takes to be a Hare, Toby. I can't believe you don't understand that yet. Man…maybe you really never were team material. Should I talk to Coach Caller? TOBY: No! No…there's…no need.

EVAN: So I'll see you on Saturday, then? TOBY: Yeah. You will. EVAN: Okay. Man, you can even invite Eddie if you think you'll miss him so bad. We don't hate him the way he thinks we do. Y'know? TOBY: …yeah. Sure.

[bidisasterevankinard]

“people would kill me for it but: Eddie, in one episode with Shannon, showed more misogyny than Tommy to Hen ever”

….are you blind now that you’ve turned your back on a ship that you liked? Loved?

Okay fine, you don’t have to like Buddie anymore but it feels like you’re stretching for reasons to shit on Eddie now just because you no longer support Buddie.

How the FUCK was he more misogynistic than Tommy? Tommy was a piece of shit in that original episode. I even remember you being against him before you got twisted…

Eddie’s issue with Shannon is her abandoning him. He was NOT misogynistic to her. I’m not even sure where you get that from??

I think you need to think a bit more about the definition of that word before you go around throwing accusations around.

And this is coming from someone who doesn’t hate on either ship. Just hates people making stupid claims they can’t back up.

Before last part I wasn't gonna answer, but last part happen. Why Eddie's relationship always gone? Because he needs "mother for my child". The mother who he never let to work when she begged him to come home and help with Chris. He chose to stay in Afghanistan. Then she begged him to go to LA to her DYING mother, but no, Eddie needs his family and time. Then he puts her through his bed first before letting her go back to their life, but not see their son first and further most. His dick was in Shannon for two months before he decideds maybe "I should ask Chris about Shannon". Why Shannon juts let him back when he left her TWICE? oh yeah sorry, he was a hero who was on war. HE CHOSE IT. He chose to run from his wife "to provide for family". Shannon wanted to provide too, but Eddie literally said "Chris needs you home"

And then he decided they need to live together bc he thought she's pregnant, but before it she again told him "I want to work to provide for Chris too." He said you don't have to, I can do it. Why she can't work? Carla can take care of Chris when she works too

And we saw it with Ana and Marisol. What women in Eddie's life do with him? have sex, babysit Chris when Eddie is on the job or even hangs out with friends, cook. Now, question: don't you think it's pretty low role for women in life?

Eddie literally sees women as housekeepers as his father (Ramon always left Helen alone with kids for work. He literally left Helen pregnant and with two little kids).

So question, does Eddie misogynistic?

Also i said I don't like buddie, but I never said I don't like Eddie. And I WAS talking about his flaws, just less bc I was scared bc Eddie is the most lovable here and all his flaws is normal for his fans or took as proof for gay! Eddie. Especially his misogyny. It's Eddie's gans loves to find teh reason to hate Tommy, but the moment you say he's better than Eddie in smt, boom 💥 you're wrong and anons like you are here (also so brave of you to come anon)

Now, Hen begins. Tommy was silent with Hen. Just silent. (With Chim he made one racist comment at the start, but then was silent.) And then in the end of the Hen begins, Tommy congratulate her with good job, and it implied he and Sal was people who was against Gerrard too and made complains against him

So, Eddie has deep misogyny roots and always shows it with partners, Tommy was just bad ally for Hen. Who's bigger misogynist now?

🫳🎤

[the-way-astray]

What is ur opinion on Unraveled as a keefe hater????? Also r u actually gonna read it or not since it’s only a .5?

i'm super excited. genuinely, i would not be surprised if i'm the most excited person on all of kotlc tumblr for it and i plan to get my hands on it as soon as possible (if everything goes right it should be the day it comes out, but we'll see). i don't like keefe, but i love getting canon kotlc words. i've been stockholm syndrome'd by this series; it took me hostage and now i'm obsessed with it somewhat against my will.

and it sounds like shannon's going to do something important that's plot-related (and i am nothing if not a certified plot girlie), although given her track record of what she considers to be an "important revelation" *cough* unlocked *cough*, i doubt there will be a revelation i personally consider to be "good enough". but i am staying optimistic because we are getting closer to the end of the series, and unraveled is supposed to be a full book's length, meaning there will hopefully be enough space for shannon to both waste page time with meaningless fluff as she usually does and get to something important (unlike in unlocked, where she didn't have that same space).

and this book is most certainly not a point five book. that's how shannon's team is choosing to market it but it is not "only a point five book", as far as the definition of point five books go. i already talked about this in this post, so i won't talk about it anymore here. but this book is very much a mandatory read. it's book ten. it is being wrongfully called book nine point five but it is a book ten. and even if it was really just extra bonus content, i would still read it because i like getting extra canon kotlc words. shannon could literally write some shit like "keefe stared into sophie's big brown golden brown orbs and wetted his mouth" and i would eat that shit up solely based on the fact that it is canon kotlc, if that makes sense. and a normal kotlc book's worth of extra kotlc words? that's something i can't pass up.

my most fervent hope for unraveled is that shannon uses it to start closing plot threads instead of opening new ones. my current project is putting into perspective just how much work shannon still has with regards to developing plot, and i hope she uses unraveled to do some of that, because although there are some questions i know we aren't going to get answers to in unraveled (like sophie's bio dad, marella's mom's involvement with whatever fintan was going on about, elysian), there's still a lot of shit that shannon could easily use keefe's perspective to close up and get out of the way. and i'm hoping she takes that chance. and it's seeming likely, since there's something that is in unraveled that you need to know going into book ten, as shannon has already confirmed.

combine all this with the slight chance that gethen might show up, and you have me hooked. will i be cringing through at least some of the book? undoubtedly. but i also do love this series. i promise, for all that i complain about it, it does hold a really special place in my heart. i've talked about this a tiny bit, but shannon is one of those authors that i have undying faith in, even if she does disappoint sometimes. there are plotlines in this series that absolutely do slap, and i'm hoping she'll be able to channel that same energy when she writes unraveled.

if you want to see more of my hopes or thoughts on unraveled, my bingo card's probably the best place to look lmfao.

[simptasia]

How did girls and Charlie handle their periods while on the island? Were there any pads/tampons available? Or was it all lost or in small quantities?

I've thought about this!

First of all, yes I do think there are pads and tamps on the island, as there would have been plenty in assorted luggage. This program just didn't think this needed to be addressed on a show that was about survival for it's first,,, half a season? Indeed, in all of LOST there are two acknowledgements that periods exist:

Claire saying she's late when she's taking a pregnancy test

Kate going from suspecting she's pregnant to being absolutely sure she isn't, implying she got her period

And I suppose in between eps, Sun must have been late for hers in order for her to suspect she was pregnant

Overall, LOST only acknowledges periods when it absolutely has to, and even then is rather hush hush about it

Anyways, I think post crash, Sawyer did his little magpie thing and gathered up everything he could get his greedy hands on. This included period supplies. Then as time went on, more and more ladies came to him for supplies. And this freaked him out, so he was like "oh fuck this" and literally threw the bag of bleedy supplies into Jack's arms. And from then on, it's Jack who's in charge of that. And he's entirely not weird about it, because he's a fucking surgeon

I don't care what goes on in reality, I choose to believe that a man who has literally had his giant hands in people's spine pasta, wouldn't be too bothered by the fact that vaginas expel meat pulp

The first 4 seasons covers 3 and a half months so thats about three periods for every uterus having person on the island. However! There are varying circumstances at play here!

Let's go thru this, character by character:

Shannon: Dies a month and a bit into this, so she had time for one period, maybe two depending on when in the month she has 'em

Claire: She was pregnant until November 20th. So no periods during that time frame. After which, she would have had very heavy post pregnancy bleeding, but not for very long, because the magic of the island would have made her body recover much quicker than regular people. Then she would've continued periods somewhere in december onwards. And for three years she was all on her lonesome but she had access to the survivor's abandoned camp, so she would have used up the last of the bleedy supplies until eventually running out and. free bleeding. Fucking hell

Sun: Got pregnant very early into the survivor's time there. And gave birth after they left. So she had no periods on the island

Kate: Probably had time for a complete three periods, with at least one that she was a little late for

Charlie: Mostly doesn't get periods, like, his are incredibly irregular. This leads to him believe that his T patches make good enough birth control. He is wrong and stupid. So maybe he bled on the island, maybe he didn't. If he did, he would have never in his life asked Sawyer for period supplies. He'll bleed into his crotch socks

Ana Lucia and Libby: Did not have access to the Sawyer and later Jack controlled Period Supplies. Because everything was worse for the tailies. Also I think being shot 4 times in the uterus means Ana Lucia can't get periods anymore. Tho as I typed that I realised the Island could easily fix that. The Island fixed Jin's balls. So there's a thought for ya: Ana Lucia getting periods on the island and being like,,, what the fuck. what the Fuck. cuz that's a literal miracle

Charlotte: Was only on the island for 16 days and I'm gonna be nice and say she wasn't on her period during that time. Because 1. She was bleeding enough and 2. To spare her the indignity of asking for pads from people who don't like her :(

Juliet: Girl lived in a cult commune for 3 years, so she's good. Had time for maybe one period with the losties, and for sure Jack would hold open his jackpack and proudly display the tampies for her

Final notes: Fair to assume Rose is post menopausal. Woe be to Alex when she got her first period, not due to lack of supplies (again, cult commune) but because it made Ben even more insane. Annd finally, pour one out for Danielle Rousseau. 16 x 12 = 192. Give or take

Oh and the dozen or so background ladies of the survivors too. So either there was a lot of supplies or they run out maybe after the second month? I dunno man, either way Sawyer got overwhelmed

Side note: my Mum liked to point out when ladies tummies are bloated in shows because that means the actresses were on their periods (their voices would get a tad whinier too). She did this a lot when we watched LOST. There ain't no rest for the fertile

Tho, if you also wanna be weird and take notice of this, Kate's tummy isn't bloated in season 6 due to period, Evie was literally pregnant

Just some trivia for ya

Thank you for your time

[the-darkness-does-not-bargain]

other half of the last metaphorical kitkat

absolutely avalil could probably teach a dancing class for dancing around issues

Feel like avalil defo also have a tendency of bringing in distractions when beatrice tries to talk to em about issues as well

it’s not at all on purpose, they don’t even realize they’re doing it, but obviously that doesn’t change they’re doing it

as a matter of fact, that’s actually what i was thinking is the main or one of the main reasons for beatrice’s running away and then getting mcdonalds n stuff, but then lilith found her and sat down and communicated with her and while avalil still have heavy avoidance habit and are unaware, it gave beatrice hope

oh yeah defo on mary & shannon’s concern regardless of whether or not they’ve had past bad experience with vincent. it’s defo also just a basic stranger danger thing, even without all the supernatural stuff & reputations, because your friend going through a major traumatic event & upheaval to their life, and then suddenly shacking up with a couple of people who not only are strangers to you, but are/were complete strangers to your friend before they shacked up? not just red flags galore right there, they’re bathing and swimming in a pool of red paint

i’m 👀👀👀👀 at the concept of ava having unwittingly stolen what was gonna be reya’s method of becoming immortal. ooo wait hold on up, what if she’s an even shadier parallel to jillian, but instead of all her shady and morally dubious being for someone else, it’s all for her (reya’s) own sake

probably took ava in under her wing and became a mentor and/or motherish figure to her, but unknown to ava until too late, it was just to boost reya’s pr image so she wouldn’t have as much scrutiny on her and her shady actions

Also q q, would you say lucifer’s a good and/or least a fun show, or?

Yeah, it's not intentional, it's just the habit they've formed over millennia. Neither of them like to talk about their problems, so they changed to adapt to each other's coping mechanisms. Lilith participates in whatever zany antics Ava needs to distract herself, and Ava makes herself a reliable but quiet safe zone for Lilith to hide in. It's all done with the utmost love but it's soooo unhelpful in the long-run. And it all comes to a head when Beatrice, young, lonely, modern (She's a modern woman, Lilith, modern women talk about their feelings, isn't that horrifying?) gets involved. Bea has spent her entire life feeling ignored and like she has to repress herself, and it's not great when she thinks Ava and Lilith are doing what her family did: ignoring her needs and fears. So things come to a head when she runs away, and Lilith goes to get her, and after the mushroom-fueled binge they have their talk and Lilith actually makes an effort to be open with Bea and let Bea be open with her.

Ava is a tougher nut to crack because she'll let them open up to her, but she won't reciprocate, not until things really boil over and she can't distract herself anymore and just breaks down one day (maybe when Jillian asks Bea to turn Michael into a werewolf and all of Ava's Diego-based trauma comes back in full-force). I really think Ava has had to deny herself the chance to heal from things as a means of survival. Sure, she's immortal, but time can kill where normal means won't work, and when you experience the kind of things she has, alone and surrounded by danger on all sides, time can drive you mad if you let it. Of course, spending literal thousands of years with these untreated psychological wounds will also drive you mad, you just won't realize it.

When Beatrice decides to live with Ava and Lilith full-time, Shannon and Mary both show up to give the Shovel Talk of the century. We're talking claws and fangs out, eyes yellow, every word comes out as a growl, the works. Ava and Lilith are not really impressed, but they do swear an oath to take care of Bea and treat her well. Shanmary are still wary of them, and they take measures to ensure that Beatrice gets plenty of non-girlfriend time to keep her balanced.

I have so many ideas for Reya's whole deal, generally. Since we never got the chance to really know anything about her, the field is wide open for any interpretation. Maybe she's an amoral sociopath who manipulated Ava to get the philosopher's stone. Maybe she's a morally dubious pragmatist who thought her becoming immortal (through whatever means necessary) would be the best thing for everyone, including Ava. Or maybe Ava swallowing the stone wasn't an accident but exactly what Reya wanted. Maybe Ava was a test subject, or (if Reya is Worse JillianTM) she's like Michael and Reya was trying to save her. Who knows? Certainly not us. And probably not Ava either, because I can't imagine Reya was very forthcoming with answers regardless of the truth, and she also may not remember everything after so much temporal separation.

The real question, then, is whether Reya managed to find another way to become immortal or otherwise persist into the modern day. And if so, where is she and what the fuck is she up to now?

And I would recommend Lucifer, it's very fun! I love the characters and the take on biblical lore. It is a police procedural too, so if that's not your jam, then don't feel like you have to watch it. But Lucifer as a snarky, bisexual menace in LA is very fun.

[squishmallow36]

It's all I wish to hear tonight, and you're all I wish to be, and this is how we all fall - Chapter four

Summary: call me Shannon the way I'm being incredibly wordy and only revealing like. Three things. This scene wasn't supposed to be this long. Anyway Garvar bedtime story :) <- not a trustworthy smiley face btw

Word count: 2860

TW: swearing, violence mentions, sex references

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @remember-me-in-another-time @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death @dizzeners @thefoxysnake @olivedumdum

And bonus garvar people who haven't told me to stop yet: @tw-5 @camelspit

On Ao3 or below the cut!

Previous chapter in case you missed it

    Garwin takes the evening shift to watch Alvar that night to let Ruy get himself a little rest. He’s been running around like a chicken with its head cut off for days between the things the Neverseen are demanding he do despite the fact they aren’t technically part of the order anymore and gathering food and worrying about Alvar into the late hours of the night. 

    And the search for something, anything, that might mitigate that last item. But no matter how many trollish--and elvin and ogreish and gnomish and goblin and dwarven--physicians he harasses, no one seems to have any clue as to how to fix Alvar’s body rotting out from under him. 

    The mostly case is that the Troll goop itself is doing something to fuck him up, but even Garwin, with his medical degree solely earned from watching copious amounts of House, could come to that conclusion. 

    Yes, ‘goop’ is the technical term. 

    No one has ever seen a case of an elf being exposed to troll hive goop, and even if they had, it was genetically modified goop, rendering science useless at best and infuriating at worst. 

    And science is already infuriating. AP Enviro Science’s exam, known for being a blowoff, did not go great. It doesn’t mean shit in elfland though. 

   Garwin’s job has mostly been relegated to spot-treating symptoms and keeping Alvar entertained and optimistic, a feat that is becoming exponentially more difficult with each passing hour. 

    Which means, once again, the dumb fucking human can't do shit. 

    Garwin could rant for hours about it, but now’s not the time for that. Now is the time for yawning. And reflecting on life choices because everything you regret is amplified a hundred times when it’s late. And gender crises. Those are always fun at night. 

    But the truth is, he wouldn’t trade Ruy and Alvar for the world. He’d trade the world for them in a fluttering heartbeat. 

    As Garwin begins to doze off, Alvar starts making little groaning noises, meaning either he’s dreaming or waking up. Whether that possible dream is of the good variety or a nightmare is up for debate. Even if that debate is never going to happen because Alvar’s very adept at pretending to forget his dreams.     

    Alvar shifts onto his side, huffing. That much movement means he’s most definitely awake and that level of attitude this quickly means he’s mad about something his brain has conjured up. 

    “Are you okay?” Garwin whispers, cringing because he knows the answer is obviously no. It’s been no for a long time. But, well, okayness is relative nowadays. And that’s the best that can be done.

    “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Alvar dismisses him with a hand. “Go back to bed. Don’t worry about me.”

    “Alvar, I can’t just turn off the worry machine. It’s literally my job to worry about you.”

    “What about leeching off my registry fund?”   

    “That’s a side hustle. A hobby, if you will.”

    Alvar sighs as Garwin climbs next to him in bed, burritoing him as much as possible. Between Ruy the blanket hog and Alvar laying on top of all of them and choosing to not be helpful, it doesn’t go very well. 

    Garwin wraps an arm around Alvar’s shoulders. “Do you want a bedtime story?”

    “I don’t trust you. I’m going to be scared shitless for the rest of the night.”

    “I promise to keep the gruesome details to a minimum. I won’t talk about severing an artery with a pen like last time.”

    Alvar doesn’t argue even if he wants to, laying his head on Garwin’s collarbone, which Garwin takes as a win.

    “Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, it was a dark and stormy night,” Garwin begins, already using incredibly overused clichés but to be fair, he’s pulling a story out of his ass because he can’t remember actual fairy tales in a coherent order to save his life. So bullshit is the next best option. At least when it inevitably goes off the rails, it’s funnier.      

    “This only happened once? Wow. Must have nice weather there.”

    Garwin shakes his head. Stars, you’re such a loveable little ass. “Shut up. I also don’t know where we are right now, so that part’s iffy at best.”

    “Honey, we’re at Candleshade. “

    Once again with those elvin estate names that are pretentious nonsense. “Can you find it on Google Maps? I didn’t think so. Now where we? Ah, yes. Just to be even more predictable, there was a boy--a farm boy of an appropriate age for the setting but vaguely a young adult, conventionally attractive, or at least the type I want to step on me, no questions asked.”

    Alvar coughs. “Isn’t that everyone?”

    “Shut your face mouth. Imagine him as you please. He lived in a small agrarian village next to a big scary forest.”

    “Haven’t you ever heard of ‘show, don’t tell?’”

    “Bitch, I don’t have a feature length animated film to show you. What do you want from me? I’m doing the best I can here. There are tons of cryptids in the forest, copy pasted from other stories because I’m not creative enough to come up with anything better than Mothman.”

    “You’d let Mothman rail you.”  

    “Of course I fucking would. Have you seen the ass on his statue? Fuck me please. Anyways you’ve also got some Bigfoots?--Bigfeet? Bigfeet.--in the forest. And, uh, what else? The vegetable lamb of Tartar, of course.”

    “What?” 

    Garwin ignores his question, deciding it’s best left to a Wikipedia search in the morning so the blue light from the screen doesn’t completely fuck over any chance they have for sleep. “The chupacabra. Der Erlkönig. Death worms. The usual.”

    Alvar laughs, a rattling sound that’s become so hollow over the past few days it’s almost painful. “You know half of those are real and half are horseshit, right?”    

    “Fuck you and you elves and all your fancy cryptids ruining the fun for everyone. I know the ones I’ve picked are geographically challenged but who cares? I didn’t have the chance to Google shit, okay? We accept that this falls under reasonable suspension of disbelief because I’m a shit storyteller and you get to deal with it. That being said, we return to our main character. He needs a name. He seems like a Timmy.”

    “Timmy?” 

    “Yeah. Timothy. Tim. Timmy boy. Now, our boy Timmy boy has a death wish.”

    “No Timmy, don’t,” Alvar purposely makes his voice crack on the last syllable. Or at least it was probably intentional. It would be even funnier if it wasn’t.

    “Oh, yes he does. He has an immense desire to just fucking go into the woods and live there like Diogenes. He’s the Greek dude that got himself a plucked chicken and went ‘behold, a man’ to mock Plato’s definition of humans. Ah, taxonomy. A bitch then and a bitch now. Stars, I really hope Plato hasn’t lived that one down yet. Although, to be fair, Timmy boy is less interested in philosophy and more interested in getting high on mysterious mushrooms. Here’s hoping Death Cap mushrooms aren’t too plentiful there.”

    Death cap mushrooms are, like the name suggests, just a little bit poisonous. It’d be badass if they were venomous, but, alas, not enough fungi have evolved to be carnivores, which is a damn fucking crime against nature.

    “There’s no way that can end badly.” Alvar rolls his eyes.    

    “However, there is a legend or tradition or whatever in the village that isn’t simply a result of my poor planning: if one goes into the forest and manages to not die immediately, coming back might not be the best plan because you will get exorcised and if that doesn’t work--which it won’t because demons are one of the few things not in the forest--you get yourself hung.”

    “But Timmy is already hung,” Alvar protests, and it’s canon now. Of course, his headcanon clearly followed logically from the previous source material, so everything is fine. 

    “I know,” Garwin replies even more quietly than the whisper he’s still forced to speak in. “But, unfortunately, Timmy is very bad at making life choices.”

    “Is Timmy a self-insert?”

    “Shut up. You’re supposed to be going to bed.”

    Alvar widens his eyes like a cat with the internal monologue of a Victorian child. “But I’m worried for Timmy’s safety.”

    “Well, Timmy isn’t worried about you. Timmy’s got his own gay little problems.”

    Alvar mutters, “Rude.”

    Garwin ignores him, continuing, “Timmy likes going into the forest because he’s both dumb and stupid. When asked, he always claims there’s something that draws him towards it for a reason he can’t describe. For you see, hidden deep in the forest is a place no mortal has ever found and radiates an energy that few can sense.”

    “This is literally just Star Wars. Admit it.” 

    “No, it’s not. That wasn’t a place. It had something with midichlorians. I don’t know, I blocked most of the prequel trilogy. Also it’s scifi. This is in a fucking forest. Probably in central Europe because of the Brothers Grimm and we’re basic.”

    Garwin glances at Alvar, who mouths, “It’s a Star Wars AU,” earning himself a glare. 

    “The more time one spends in the forest, the more likely they just decide to wander off one day never to be seen again. Or that they get poked in the eye with a branch and now we have a Phineas Gage situation on our hands. So, of course, the government has to ban anything even remotely related to existing within a hundred miles of the creepy forest. This does piss off the forest creatures because of the part of the food chain dependent on eating humans but nobody cares about my man Mothman.”

     “I need some Timmy x Mothman fic now…mothtim? Timmoth?” Alvar’s eyes open wide with a realization, stage whispering, “Wait a fucking minute. Timothy is Mothman!”

    …because they both have ‘moth’ in their name? Sure, why not? Garwin laughs apprehensively even if he does enjoy the idea. “Keep quiet. We don’t wanna wake Ruy up.”

    “I beg to fucking differ.”

    “I don’t want to have to put both of you two back to bed.”

    Alvar raises a mischievous eyebrow. I want to slit your throat. But only a little. Goddammit, you’re too cute for murder. Why didn’t I think this through? By ‘this,’ he means their entire relationship all the way back to that first day in the museum. 

    “Because Timmy has a habit of being dumb and stupid, he wanders farther and farther into the forest with each passing trip because he has too much free time because we’re in a small village and apparently there aren’t any other cute guys willing to fuck him and he doesn’t have any hobbies. So, you know, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if that’s Bigfoot, well, good for him.”

    “Not my personal cup of tea, but have fun, Timmy.”

    “One day, as you might expect, Timmy wandered off into the forest, never to be seen again. It took like a week and a half for anyone in the village to actually realize he was gone. He could’ve died out there for various reasons, from natural causes to being ripped to shreds by a death worm or bled dry by a chupacabra.”

    “There’s so many fun ways to die out in the middle of nowhere.”

    “And, of course, the villagers didn’t even bother to go look for his body because he couldn’t have ever gone into the creepy forest. Even if he had, it’s not like they can venture in there, and besides, he was working on turning all their sons gay so this is all for the best. He’s probably living out there with his husband Bigfoot or Der Erlkönig--.”

    “Or both. Polyam Timmy could be canon--nay, it should be canon. Make it canon.”

    “This is my story, fuck yeah it’s canon. Der Erlkönig’s castle--he has a castle because he’s a king and kings have castles--anyway, it burned down with its previous inhabitants still inside, so it’s most definitely haunted. Castles are surprisingly very flammable creatures. It also has a really nice moat of five rivers naturally making a roundabout around it because it’s extra like that. Why is that important? I don’t know. Setting the scene. Der Erlkönig’s castle’s creepy factor is the correct level of crumbling, mossy staircases and spider webbing in every fucking corner.”

    “Sounds like a recipe for a spider-man.”

    “No radioactivity. Only--wait. The castle is centered on the power source you accused me of borrowing from Star Wars. Maybe that could work. I’m not a biologist.”

    “Yeah, you couldn’t even get into Yale.”

    “Will you please stop with that already? I get it, I’m a dumbass. You’re more of a dumbass for dating me. Go find something else stupid I’ve done and hyperfixate on that for a while. The power source also occasionally attracts people of mostly humanoid shapes when Der Erlkönig gets a little…let’s say bored. So yeah, it’s definitely just a fucking orgy in there at all times.”

    Alvar laughs. 

    “And Timmy, with his army of boyfriends that definitely went and arsoned his home village at some point, lived happily ever after.”

     After a small round of applause, Alvar turns to bury himself even more into the crook of Garwin’s neck, and he prepares to get drooled on when a realization snaps Alvar’s flickering eyelids open. 

    “Wait--I know why that sounds familiar! My dad had some shit about some fucked up place that eminated weird power at a conjunction of rivers. Bitch, have you been binge reading the Alden shit again? I thought we agreed that made you crabby.”

   The ‘Alden shit,’ as it is aptly named being that it belonged to Alden and has the same cultural value as the blue Avatar, is just a collection of scrolls and other documents that live at Candleshade for reasons. 

    Most of it is just leftover from when Alden and Assius were fucking, although why they had work-related things laying around at the same time is not a thought he particularly enjoys having.

    Also the clearance levels required to view literally anything is way above Garwin’s pay grade, a contributing factor to how addicting they are. And the added challenge of translating from the Enlightened language to brain-English is fun. Sometimes, he’s even almost competent. 

    “I have not, but now I will because you called me crabby.”

    “Fuck.” Alvar sighs, fully aware there’s no stopping Garwin now that he’s been given the slightest reason to relapse. “I’m going to bed now. Have a nice time spiraling this fine evening.”

    Garwin gently extricates himself from being Alvar’s pillow, leaving him to drool on a bigfoot stuffed animal of unknown origin that most certainly wasn’t already in the house when they took over. Definitely. 

    So, the only logical thing to do for the rest of the evening is be a little chaos gremlin and search through Alden’s old shit for any references to weird power and multiple rivers. Without keyboard shortcuts. This is going to be a fun time.           

    Sure enough, come sunrise a many hours later, he’s deeply distracted in absolutely useless but nevertheless entertaining garbage. Half of these scrolls read like a Wattpad eleven year old bitching about the council and that eleven year old needs to be sold to One Direction for their own safety. Or whatever the elvin equivalent of that is. 

    The council has committed some fun little atrocities. After the dwarven plague coverup, one might assume that’s an outlier, but no. That’s just how they do business. For thousands of years. And it’s all mind wiped from their brains like the pussies they are, so no one is capable of making informed decisions. 

    After a few more years of searching, during which Ruy comes over and kicks him a few times to make sure he hasn’t perished on the floor, accidentally waking up his very-asleep legs, he finally finds what Alvar was alluding to. 

    There aren’t many details, but there are certainly lots of scribbles in pink glitter gel pen meaning one thing--Oralie was involved. Or Alden was feeling extremely gay that day. It doesn’t really matter either way, it’s just funny. 

    Turns out, Garwin’s story was strangely accurate, at least as far as this little magic piece of paper knows, even down to the intersection of five rivers. It’s also probable that it’s outdated, given that the paper is crunchy as all hell, but that could just be coffee staining or the fact that elves are notoriously bad at making timely decisions, instead letting them fester for a good millenia.

    Gotta make sure it’s really a problem before thinking about alleviating it.  

    And this may very well be the sleep deprivation talking, but the kind of power that the magic scroll is describing could be able to be harnessed in a thousand different ways, ways that no intelligent species has been able to dream of until now. 

    And maybe--just maybe, when he finds it, it’ll be enough to fix whatever is destroying Alvar from the inside out. 

[taughtequilibrium]

for the past handful of months, chase has been waiting with baited breath for the other shoe to drop. the first one had been dropped when robby joined cobra kai. chase has a horrible feeling that the second shoe is going to drop soon. robby's been more of an asshole lately; the comment to miguel at the drive-in a few days ago was another nail he drove in the coffin, more grave dirt shifted on top of the grave. rosalie had been the one to engrave the words the robby i grew up with into the headstone. ethan had left pretty much immediately after that nasty comment. he didn't know about miguel's clever plan to avoid a physical conflict by using the sprinkler system at the baseball diamond. he only found out about it the morning after. now that chase thinks about it, maybe it was better he left.

he's not even completely sure why robby decided to drop by his & calla's apartment pretty much unannounced, which they'd very recently moved into... literally six hours ago. the only thing that's been unpacked are the fridge, a few boxes of cutlery, the mattress in their bedroom, a side table, the tv is mounted to the wall. a few other random things, too. chase's clothes are still in boxes or suitcases, his closet barren. he's still wearing the flannel t-shirt he'd worn to school friday, which was yesterday. they don't even have a couch yet. he doesn't know where robby got the beer from. chase doesn't drink, nor does his girlfriend. there's not a single drop of alcohol in their apartment.

he doesn't ask why robby's carrying himself differently. he doesn't ask about his new clothes, the scar on his forehead, or his new friends, the very people who have repeatedly traumatized sam & ethan, or the different, colder light in his eyes. a part of him doesn't want to know. it's not his business what robby does anymore. he made sure of that.

ROMANS 6:12. therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.

I SIT DOWN FOR DINNER WITH MY DEAD BROTHER AGAIN. THE DINNER TABLE HAS UNEVEN LEGS, & IT REMAINS UNSTEADY IF ONE OF US PUTS TOO MUCH WEIGHT ON IT. I DO NOT MAKE A MOVE TO FIX WHAT HE BROKE. I DO NOT SPEAK. HE DOES NOT LOOK AWAY FROM ME. AS FOR MY BROTHER'S CORPSE, IT CORRODES A LITTLE MORE UNDER MY GAZE. ( I CAN'T LOOK AWAY. HE IS MY BROTHER, DESPITE, DESPITE, DESPITE. THAT BOND DOES NOT WARRANT REPENTANCE IN THE HOUSE OF GOD. IT DOES NOT MATTER IF I BARELY RECOGNIZE HIM ANYMORE, & IT DOES NOT MATTER IF HE'S NO LONGER WHO HE ONCE WAS. HE IS STILL WAS MY BROTHER. )

chase can't help the way his eyes flicker towards the coors banquet beer resting in front of robby's hand... one of the more cheaper beer brands in the valley. it's his uncle johnny's favorite. half-consumed, if chase had to guess. he's been counting the sips robby's made - an engrained, learned habit he'd picked up in his childhood because of johnny & shannon, & his uncle mike to a much lesser extent.

❝ it's a beer. calm down. ❞ @taughtpain immediately defends himself.

the reaction from chase is instantaneous. his fork & knife freeze above the take-out chicken he'd gotten from the diner down the street. his eyes lift up from the plate to meet robby's without so much as blinking. a wave of lightning-hot anger slices through chase's entire body, so much so that his shoulders tremble with anger. his expression even darkens for a split second before it smooths out again, & his facial expression back to cold indifference. the younger teen inhales deeply. thank god that calla isn't here right now, that his siblings, dads & mom aren't. calla's out with ethan, emma, hawk, cosima, charlie, light, harlow & a handful of their other miyagi-do / eagle fang friends. according to light, it'd been rather difficult to drag ethan out of bed, but he eventually begrudgingly went. given ethan's recent track record of not even seeing any texts, or replying, or even being seen in public, save for school ( & even then, that's been steadily declining ), chase considers that a significant win.

GALANTIANS 5: 16-26. the acts of the flesh are obvious: immorality & impurity; idolatry; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions & envy; drunkenness, & the like. i warn you, as i did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of god. // since we live by the spirit, let us keep in step with the spirit. let us not become conceited, provoking & envying each other.

it's not just a beer, for several reasons. firstly, both of his parents are alcoholics. there's no sugarcoating that. cobra kai can't have fucked with his brother's head so quickly & so severely that he's forgotten that pivotal part of his childhood. secondly... it's everything that's happening. robby's change in personality, the karate war, the switching alliances, the broken friendships, the near karate fights that have almost broken out, ethan's rapid depressive spiral that chase can't seem to alleviate, try as he ( & every single one of their friends ) might.

his next words are way too calm, & they're said in an entirely blunt, matter-of-fact tone. ❝ yes, of course it's just a beer... & i am calm. you sound like your dad, so i guess i should start calling you that now. ❞ chase rolls his shoulders, looking very much disinterested. his tone remains indifferent.

❝ go ahead & keep drinking, johnny. let's both take a bet as to where that habit gets you. ❞ chase doesn't give robby a chance to rebut his words, & even if he did, he's not going to give a shit because he's already tuned him out, simply rising from the table. he's mindful not to bump into it because it's uneven. he walks past robby & into the kitchen to package up his leftovers, which he'll eat later, after he fucking kicks robby out of his apartment in a few moments. as it stands right now, he's completely lost his appetite.

[crymeariveronceagain]

if Shannon makes Linh and Fitz date i’m just going to imagine it’s an arranged thing and that they have a huge library and spend their time reading and baking as besties, there is no romance involved , feel free to expand if u have time and want to do so -t1sb

yknow

linh and fitz fake dating

that... that could actually be a legit idea.

like imagine, Alden gets up on Fitz's case because Fitz is really just not in the mood to date anyone, he doesn't want to. It's not something he's interested in, and literally everyone is chill about it except the adults, who think that the Golden Vacker Child(tm) should really be getting along and finding that perfect bride. Alden's worried that Fitz is still hung up on Sophie, which would be bad because Sophie's an awful genetic mistake and would be bad for their family's reputation. Della's worried that her son is abnormal, or there's something wrong with him. The grandparents are all asking about children and dating and matchmaking and whatever and Fitz just wants none of it.

And so, Linh kind of just presents the idea. At a winnowing gala she was forced into a dress that itches and burns on her wrists, that makes the water louder and hurts her back and her shoulders. She's sitting next to him at his gala, because really, she's the only one who knows him. No one else cares about anything but the idea of a golden child, a perfect husband, and Linh is simply a friend who just happened to be on the list.

"Fitz," she says, one day, when he's halfway to tears over the fact that his dad came by and half-ordered him to start dancing with his matches. "I'm on your list. You can dance with me."

He takes her gloved hand, and she pretends she can't feel the water in his blood pulsing through him with every heartbeat. That she can't understand the dangerous whispers of the sweat on the back of his neck. Because, firstly, that's odd. Secondly, none of her business what his water is up to.

"My parents have been literally shoving me towards marriage, too, and I literally would rather die. Like, honestly."

Fitz laughs, like, "Me too."

She thinks on it for a moment. "Fitz," she says, "What number match am I, on your list?"

"A hundred and seventy," he said, pointing at the ribbon with the numbers on it. "And that's if and only if my dad's okay with me marrying a twin. I think he'd kill me for it."

"My dad would kill to have me marry a Vacker," Linh answered, simply. "But we don't have to get married. We just have to occupy our parents' minds long enough until they can't push us into it, anymore."

Seventeen year old Fitz squints at sixteen year old Linh. "What?"

"I'm saying," she said, her voice getting a bit gentler. "We fool them. You're like, my older brother who cares too much and it comes out in angry ways, sometimes."

Fitz chuckled, almost sadly. "You're the most powerful hydrokinetic the world has ever seen. You're so impressive, it's scary. And you're also like, Biana's friend. I can't date you."

"I don't want to date you," Linh said. "You're not my type. No one has been, so far," she said, her voice getting a little quieter, more embarrassed. "It's weird, I know."

Fitz shook his head. "Not weird," he said. "I know exactly what you mean."

"I suggest," Linh said, a tentative smile forming on her lips, "That we, like. Fake date? Friend-date? Tell our parents that we're head over heels for each other, just to keep them occupied in their own ideas of who we are, but just," she smiled, there. "You like baking, right?"

Fitz nodded.

"We can bake together. Dex has been meaning to get me into movies lately, anyhow. He mentioned you liked some series called Harry Potter?"

Fitz smiled, just a little. "Yeah," he said.

Linh sighed. "I care about you, you know that. But it's not a lovey-dovey kind of way. I don't tend to care about people like that. And it sounds like you don't either."

Fitz nodded.

"So," she said, a smile forming across her lips, hopeful and excited. "Baking date, this sunday? Just for fun?"

Something inside Fitz relaxed, his heart and mind stopping churning.

"Linh," he said, "I think you're the best person in the whole world."

The hydrokinetic giggled, and it sounded like she'd relaxed some, too. "Well," she said, "I don't think I am, Fitz. But I'm glad you're up for enjoying my company."