#shame i havent felt this yet

[princegeist]

the fact that i might be aroace is the funniest thing that could’ve dawned upon me in the middle of writing a romance novel 

[lilac-melody]

Writing angst is such a breath of fresh air for me...

[hobies-gf]

On top 💭🕷️ hobie x fem reader

★ CW riding, cream pie, dirty talk, overstimulation, degradation, a little bit of praise ★ NOTES havent written anything in so long but im back now bbs, i promise ill post more

Riding Hobie always had it perks. You felt him deeper this way and he just loved to ogle at your breasts as you used him for your own pleasure.

Most times Hobie strayed away from this position, always preferring to give you what you want hard and rough till the bed shakes — but when you do get him into this position he can’t complain.

“Fuck baby, y’so wet all over me, nasty pussy can’ stop purrin’.” He groaned, throwing his head back and exposing his adam’s apple in the process.

You were bouncing on Hobie’s cock feverishly, palms on his chest and thighs burning. The constant sounds of wet skin clapping and clicking noises from just how much slick and cum had leaked out of your cunt filled the room and it was just so nasty that it only got you craving for more.

Hobie’s eyes were rolled all the way back into his skull, his hands shaking as he gripped you forcefully, pulling your hips down every time you lifted up. It was lewd, animalistic, but after cumming so many times neither of you cared enough to feel an ounce of shame.

You weren’t in any better state. You were drunk over the feeling off Hobie’s tip abusing the deepest parts of your pussy, clenching down on him just to feel the veins on his cock a little better. Drool leaking out the sides of your mouth, mind so fucked with pleasure that you didn’t even have the thought of ever closing your mouth. Yet you continued to bounce and bounce on his cock.

“Needy puppy, fuckin’ ‘erself stupid on my cock.” Hobie grunted. He planted his feet firmly on the bed and began thrusting up into you, his large hands holding you down by the hips. You cried out helplessly, your back arching painfully as you experience this entirely new wave of pleasure. It was too much, but with the way your tongue fell out from your mouth, Hobie only pounded into you harder.

“Like a bitch in heat.” He laughed. He laughed and it was really so annoying that he had the capabilities to make fun of you when you were a complete, fucked out mess on top of him.

"Ho — Hobie! S'too much!" You squealed.

You wrap your hands around his wrists and try to push him away because every sticky thrust had your thoughts fucked out of your mind and you wanted so desperately to keep yourself together somehow. But Hobie was so mean. So mean with the way he just laughs again and shakes his head. He flips the position and suddenly your back is on the mattress, knees right by your head and the squelching of his fat cock bullying it's way into your cunt only gets louder.

"Oh fuckfuckfuck — daddy s'too much, please please!" You look down and watch as Hobie continues to fuck into your messy cunt at a bruising pace. Lines of slick constantly breaking from his hips and your cunt every time he pulled away. His cock covered in your cum and it was all just so dirty.

"C'mon baby, cream on daddy's cock — mmh yeah, y'can do it, give it t'me nice and good." Hobie groaned. He slowed down a little but only to fuck you with deeper strokes. The tip of his cock pushed out parts of your belly and you could faintly see the outline of his dick through your skin. "Make a mess on this cock puppy — be fuckin' nasty with it."

Your breath was caught in your throat, head tilted back, back arched and eyes squeezed shut. It was too much, too many times did you come tonight — but were you really in a place to complain when your hips started to fuck back against Hobie's thrusts? Your body was so dirty, eager for pleasure when mentally you were completely gone.

The knot in your tummy quickly made itself known and you began thrashing on the bed, pathetic whines pushed out of you every time Hobie pushed his hips flush against yours.

"'M gu— gunna cum." You sniffle, and Hobie thinks you look all too pretty, all too angelic for a situation like this. Pussy fucked, filled and stretched with all his cum. Legs lewdly spread, and your cute breasts bouncing every time he pushed in. His dirtiest angel.

"Cum baby, 'n scream m'name when ya do."

Your cunt tightened up around his cock and with a few more thrusts you creamed all over his dick like he asked, "Hobie!" Your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you choke up a little, hands flying up to press your nails into Hobie's skin.

"Yeah, that's right pretty." Hobie moaned, his release soon following after as if your climax served as a catalyst for his own. You feel his warm cum fill you up for the last time for the evening, adding more to other loads Hobie had dumped into you. It was overflowing now and he clicked his tongue disapprovingly when he saw his cum spill out of your pussy as he pulled out.

“Bred y’so well hm?” Hobie brought up two fingers and fucked all the cum back in you slowly, your quiet cries do nothing to stop him.

You were tired out, exhausted and limp on the bed — only for your eyes to widen when you feel the fat tip of Hobie’s cock press up against your entrance, “One last round?”

[nyx-is-missing]

Graceland too

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (Athena's kid)

Sumarry: When a certain daughter of Athena felt unappreciated her whole life, someone was there to see her.

Warnings: Sad girl hours, shitty parenthood, hurt/comfort because im no monster and probably other things wich i forgot.

a/n: look who is back!

Demigod.

Half blood.

Half a goddess.

Half a human (?).

And yet, fully a disappointment.

When Athena sent me to my Dad's house, in a golden crib, dressed in pure white dress, glowing, how the myths would expect a demigod to be, then, and only right then i was a gift.

A piece o divine love, something to prove to him, till the end of his life, that at some point, he was good enough for a Goddess.

But days after, immediately, i was just a crying baby, hungry, with a busy father, without a mother, and that only made him remember that, that was it.

He wasnt good enough for her, she wasnt staying, she never even actually even considered, he would never have that kind of honour, only a crying baby he never expected.

I wasnt a gift anymore, it actually felt like i was a insult, everything about me started to enrage him.

And oh, how did he reminded me of that every single day of my existence.

When i got diagnosed with dyslexia all i've heard whas that Athena gave me up to him because i was defective, when i couldnt sit still during classes, and exploded with all the repression i suffered everyday, suddently i was a clock bomb, when my grades where great, i was never rewarded, it was "the least i could do, to make up for the shame that i was".

I was never loved, never wanted, never encouraged, at least not by him.

The very little love i've known in my life, i own to the people who felt pitty of me.

The teachers, the neighbours who have heard the insults, the stray animals who could sense sadness, the very old grandparents who never actually saw me more than twice a year, and the people who worked at a nerby library, who let me stay past closing time, leaving only with the cleaners.

I was 12 when he had enough and sent me to camp, literally the very day school was over.

I came home to my clothes packed and him waiting by the car keys.

Being in camp for the first time, was also the very first time in my life i have ever felt....normal.

Not good, not bad, not great, not terrible, i was one, and that was enough.

I spend that summer being quiet, i sat in the corner, i didnt spoke, i didnt interrupted, i didnt had any ideas, i wasnt good enough to do that, thats what i've been told my whole life, thats my true.

It took a whole new summer for Athena to claim me.

I have always wondered if she was fighting with herself, if she had any problems having to admit that she made a mistake, with me, or with him.

It didn't matter, for the first time i had brothers and sisters, who wanted me, who understood when i wasnt the best, who asked for my graded tests, to put up in the wall.

They understood when i was hard to crack, when i insisted in being quiet, when i wouldnt share my ideas, they understood it all.

I didn't.

Each and every new summer i spent there, all i could ask myself was:

Why could i not be great like all of them?

Why im still afraid?

Why i was still useless?

Im now sixteen and the same questions still were unanswered.

And today i felt worse than ever.

It was my birthday, and i havent got a single letter from him, nothing, nothing.

It felt like he was saying i wasnt worth anything again.

Earlier, i tried to pretend nothing was happening, smiling with my siblings, finally making plans for capture the flag, finally belonging like i promissed i would try to do that year.

My plan was used, it wasnt perfect, but it was used, and surprising myself and the other team, we won.

I could see the other team confused, and Clarisse cussing us to death.

Still i was so happy, for the first time in my life i showed myself, and i worked....partially.

The happiness of victory didnt last much in me, because i saw a new brother of mine almost bursting to tears, he was young and just got claimed a few days ago, he wasnt used to that, and he wasnt supose to get hurt, but the red that painted his arms said otherwise.

I couldnt stare at him without feeling like i failed again.

Why couldnt i be perfect for once?

I took him to infirmary and held his hand while he was getting his stiches, saying sorry all the time.

I tried thinking it was okay, people get hurt, move on.

I had diner, i took a bath, i tried to sleep, i couldnt.

The tears were falling down and i knew i wouldn't be quiet.

So i got up and walked to the cabin's porch, sitting on the last step and letting my head fall to my knees.

Why couldnt i be great?

Why couldnt i be in peace with myself?

Why couldnt my mom bless me?

Why couldnt my dad love me?

Why did he had to be so mean?

I was a kid for fucks sake.

"Are you okay?" I heard someone saying, that made me freeze, that voice was not from any of my sisters, was i crying so hard i woke up someone from other cabin?

"I- yes, sorry i didn't knew i was crying so hard to wake people from other cabins, im sorry"

"You didn't, i was sneaking out to train some more, and saw you, our cabins face each other"

That was...Clarisse?

I wiped my tears and look up, she was staring at me with a almost worried look

"Clarisse?"

"Yes, why are you crying?"

She sat down by my side, dropping a sword in the grass.

"Its nothing really, im fine, you dont need to bothe-"

"No, cut the crap" she stopped me mid sentence "no one ever weeps in the middle of the night out of happiness, you are not fine and im not letting you lie OR leave until you tell me what it is"

We stare at each other, and ill need to thank the night light being bad because i probably look like crap right now, im sure my eyes are red, my nose too, im probably with a very swollen face and id bet all the dracmas i own that my hair its no better than a nest of birds.

"Go on...tell me"

I layed myself in the stairs, looking at the sky, trying to think of a way to tell everything, without sounding crazy

"I dont deserve to be here, Clarisse."

"Here..where?"

"This cabin, i dont deserve to be called daughter of the goddess of wisdom, i dont deserve being here with them, my siblings they are great, more than good, great, they will do great things with themselfs, amazing writers, architects, brilliant musicians, historians, why am i here? Im not even good, why im with the great?"

"Wait wait wait" she made me sit down again and look at her "not even good? What are you talking about? Wasnt the strategy in the last capture the flag yours? Yall won, and if somebody asks me later i've never said this but that was good, some really good strategy, i was almost thinking of asking chiron to switch you teams, you were great, more than that, and now you're here telling me you are not egen good? Are you on drugs?"

"Clarisse you dont need to pretend you care that much, and my plan wasnt all that, my brother got hurt, that wasnt supose to happen, i failed him, if i was good enough he wouldnt even be there"

She had a very confused look on her face, like she really did not knew what i was talking about.

"You're not talking about the little boy you took to the infirmary and that small cut in his forearm are you? Cause that boy was far from almost dying like you are making it sound like-" she looked at my eyes, i didnt needed a mirror to have sure how i was, i've seen myself like that too much to count, everytime my dad said i wasnt good enough, sad, lifeless.

"I failed again Clarisse, im not good enough to be here, im useless, worthless"

She looked at me and did the last thing i tought she would, Clarisse hugged me.

"Dont say that, c'mon, worthless? I've seen you fight, i've seen your plans, you dont talk much but i've heard your ideas, you are far from being useless or worthless, who the fuck told you that?"

"My f- you heard me?" I looked at her, only to see a look i couldnt distinguish "what do you mean?"

She looked at her own feet, then at her sword, reflecting the moonlight.

"You really dont know?" She looks at me "i- well, i've heard you, the same way i see you everyday, thats how i know you like morning walks, sweet green grapes, baked goods...how i know you are probably the only child of Athena who has never read "the art of war", that you walk without looking at peoples faces....its weird, i've seen you so much throughout this years and it feels like this is the first time you are actually seeing me"

"But i've saw you before-"

"Thats not what i was saying, you looked at me many times, but did you ever saw me until today?"

I looked at her blinking, and after a moment of silent i said "you like dark chocolate, and lemon flavoured soda, and sneaking out to train when the harpies take their breaks, by the way you missed that, and you always ask for double the quantity of food you eat, so when you burn it you still can eat enough, by the way i stole that idea-"

She is smilling, big, really big, i think i am too.

Of course i saw Clarisse, who wouldnt, she was strong, brave, beautiful, to me was a wonder she didnt had people running to get her attention.

She got closer to me "does that mean i can-" i stopped her mid sentence again

"Maybe..."

"Im going to make you forget that "im not good enough" nonsense, belive me"

She is smilling while kissing me, and i am too.

[stevie-petey]

If I show you my toes, can we have a little bit of stug fluff (im a fluff girly at heart, but you’re writing is so amazing i don’t care what im reading honestly)

pls keep ur toes i can give u stug free of cost <3

enjoy !

"mrs. waters misses her favorite costumer," walking into family video, you breeze past steve and set down the lunch hes asked for onto the register counter. "says its a shame youre employed again."

steve sorts through some movies and chuckles. "what, max and el arent enough for her?"

"no," you dig through the food and take out your own meal. its still warm, the smell of fries and sandwiches floats through the store. "she adores them, but i think she just misses staring at your face."

"i am handsome, arent i?"

"alright buddy, lets not get ahead of ourselves now."

steve places the last movie onto the shelf before he walks over to you. he pouts, places a hand over his heart. "why must you say such mean things?"

"because youre freakishly adorable when you pout," you kiss the tip of his nose, causing him to laugh, and you giggle as well. "youre welcome."

"insults masked with nose kisses. youre evil, henderson."

"and yet you love me anyways."

"and yet i love you anyways." steve kiss your forehead, his hands find yours from across the counter. he doesnt even spare a look at the food youve brought him, hes just content to have you here with him again. he plays with your fingers, hums to himself while you eat, and its a nice, quiet moment.

robin took the day off rehearse for band. its blazing hot outside, no one dares to leave their homes, so its empty in family video. just you and steve and the food. with summer winding down, you try to enjoy every last moment alone with him. soon youll have assignments again, college applications to worry over, kids to watch.

for now, your entire world is steve, and his is you.

as you eat, the strap of your dress slides down your arm. you dont notice it, lost in a comic you brought with you, but steve does. his fingers trail up your arm. the skin beneath his fingers shivers, his touch cascades warmth throughout your body. carefully, softly, steve slips the strap back over your shoulder before pressing a kiss to the skin.

you shiver again, and steves smile can be felt. his lips havent left your body yet, they linger on your shoulder and feel the heat coat your skin. he smiles again, he knows what hes doing, and you release a shaky breath. "t-thanks,"

steve hums, presses his body against yours. he stands behind you, peppers kisses over your shoulder, across your exposed back, the base of your neck, down your arms. he doesnt leave an inch of skin untouched, his back encases your body. you lean against him, your eyes flutter closed as he kisses you.

your comic lays forgotten on the counter. instead, your hand finds steves hair as his teeth now sink into your neck. he nips at the tender skin, soft enough not to leave a mark, but hard enough to draw a pleasured sigh from your pretty lips.

one of steves hands drags around your waist until his palm is flushed against your abdomen. he uses it to push you deeper against him. his other hand cups your jaw, delicately coaxes your head up higher so that he has better access to your neck.

the sensation is almost too much. to have so much of steve, yet enough of him. its intoxicating, having him so close. to feel his body against yours, to feel his tongue soothing the skin he has bitten. steve sucks lightly, still careful not to leave any trace behind, and youre about to tear out of his grasp so that you can just kiss him already, when the bell above the door rings.

"do i smell fries?" robin walks into the store, still dressed in her band practice clothes, slightly sweaty and out of breath.

you and steve jump apart. he quickly fixes his hair subtly places you in front of him so that he can hide the mess that youve made him. you clear your throat and tug your dress down, praying that the flush on your skin isnt so obvious in the stores florescent lighting.

robin, however, catches on immediately. her face morphs into disgust and she shrieks. "ew."

"robin-" your voice is scratchy, breathy still.

"this is my place of work-"

"technically you took today off." steve voices, adjusting himself slightly when robin isnt looking. he cant walk quite yet, his heartbeat pounds in his chest.

the girl scoffs. "so you make out in the store?"

"we werent-"

"y/n i am so disappointed in you right now."

you make a hurt sound. "but-robin!"

"no, i need therapy about this."

"you didnt even see anything!" steve sputters out, absolutely embarassed.

"this store is tainted now. its ruined for me. no longer a safe space. cursed. haunted, even."

"if i give you my fries, will you shut up?" you hold the bag of fries up to robin, which she quickly yanks from your hands.

she smiles. "now, why didnt you just start with that?"

[blurbfics]

There'd Better Be a Mirrorball | Azriel x OFC [part eight]

Summary: A normal morning in Azriel's life.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: fluff, slight sexual insinuations (when are Nesta and Cassian not banging tho), anxious mannerisms, beginning of emotional turmoil (not yet angst)

Minors, do not interact.

a/n: yeah yeah its another short one but i guess i can only write 2k words at a time unless its cassian's pov? anyway, hope yall are riding with me still! i just finished an outline im feeling more satisfied with so fear not my friends! there will be more plot coming soon. besides we gotta let them fall in love, right? here's some luna lovegood-esque content. also if you haven't seen dinner in america, you should give it a try. it's so cute i havent had a crush in so long

part seven

Masterlist

"Creature of my desire, takes us higher

To not hold your face or feel your embrace, is why I waste

But she's just a phase, just a phase

Boy yeah, she's easy to replace"

Puma Blue, (She's) Just a Phase

It was yet another day of training with the priestesses and nothing was truly different than any other day. 

Every morning he would wake up alone at his townhouse in the city and quickly down his plain but nutritious breakfast before winnowing directly to the House of Wind, and if he heard disconcerting sounds coming from inside the house, he pretended he didn’t and that he didn’t notice the bright red bite marks on his brother’s neck when he appeared a few minutes later, eyes hazed and a smug satisfied smile in place.

Except that when he winnowed to the training ring that morning he found he wasn’t alone. 

The sun was only barely waking up and yet she had already made the day her own.

Eowyn panted from her spot on the floor (at a reasonable distance from the now faint creaking sound coming from the house), the only visible skin around her eyes bright with perspiration yet she didn’t seem to be doing anything to explain her clearly strained behavior.

Clearly sensing his approach, the young priestess snapped her eyes open and evened out her breaths. “Oh, hey Master of the Shadows” she breathed casually, using one of her usual obnoxious titles she thought were hilarious, having heard them spoken earnestly from a brown nosing vendor in Velaris. The first time she’d called him ‘lord of shadows,’ he’d been so gobsmacked by the ridiculousness of the title and had let the surprise slip on his face, which had caused her to latch on to the titles. Since then, he refused to correct her, knowing that doing so would only be fuel for her to do it more. 

He frowned at her, “what are you doing here?”

“Can’t a priestess admire a sunrise around here?”

His frown smoothed into something more neutral. While not letting it show, he found himself curiously amused, but mostly profoundly intrigued. As if she was a puzzle he couldn’t help but try to solve. “You looked like you were convulsing.”

Her dark eyes narrowed at him and despite the thrill he felt shooting down his spine and the smile he felt threatening to rise on his lips, he quickly composed himself, masking any rising emotion with a stoic look on his face. His clear dismissive disinterest seemed to irritate her further. “I was warming up,” she shrugged, looking away and he needn’t see her eyes to know it was a lie, despite how casually she tried to make it sound, “thought I’d take a moment to rest.”

He couldn’t help himself, “right…unless you’re here to listen to Cassian and Nesta…?”

She tilted head slightly to the side in confusion, her dark eyes seeking and he watched in amusement the second it clicked, the top bridge of her nose, barely covered by her veil, scrunching cutely as she grimaced at him. He half-mindedly wondered if part of her clear aversion to the sun was due to the possibility of freckles on such lovely skin but quickly rid the notion, knowing somehow intrinsically that her aversion to the sun ran deeper than vanity. A shame she didn’t spend more time in it, he considered. She’d look lovely with freckles.

“Please,” she snorted, “I’ve enough with Nesta’s detailed descriptions to last a lifetime, I don’t need to hear her make Cassian cry out her name and beg her to ‘let him cum’ right now, I’m getting the full story later.” And while the casual talk of sex surprised him, somehow foolishly expecting pious shyness from her, it was the next sentence that intrigued him. “I’ve been hearing too many things in the wind all morning to focus on something so banal.”

Perhaps there was yet another exception to his otherwise normal and routine morning— his immediate and decided rejection of Rhysand’s attempt at a mental connection, his rhetorical daily debriefing where his boss presented him with his case file and mission for the day, except Azriel had no intention to go on any missions today. He’d told Rhys he’d be busy three days of the week every week, and any missions he assigned would either have to wait a day or he could deal with the problem himself. Today, as he knew very well, was a Juneday and today he trained with Eowyn after their daily group training, and he had no intention of canceling his meeting with her.

“Are you okay?” She asked him, and when his eyes came back to focus he saw that she was now back to her feet, no longer looking as out of place as she inspected him with a hint of concern in her eye. “You just…left.”

“I was talking to Rhys,” he explained, a half lie. He figured that Rhysand’s lack of insistence meant the conversation could likely wait.

She only hummed in response, nodding understandingly and asked nothing further. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” he reminded her.

“What was your question?”

Irked, his eyebrows narrowed at her, “what were you doing?”

“You don’t let anything go, do you?” She rolled her eyes, exasperated, but he saw a glint of absolute glee light her eyes. “My Venus dionaea has officially held onto the will to live for a month and even sprouted a companion, so of course I had to stay and offer moral support to a postpartum mother.”

He stared at her, “this is…a cannibalistic plant?”

“Close, it’s carnivorous, but I’m glad to know you’ve been paying attention to my ramblings the past couple days. Do you want to see it?”

And he did. Pay attention to her, that is. Eowyn was an enigma to him. He couldn’t say he’d ever met any fae, male or female for that matter, that intrigued him as much as she did, for the interest he had in her was not the allconsuming yearning for belonging he’d wanted from Mor nor the passionate protective desire he felt for Elain. What started with simple curiosity and intrigue in the young priestess turned into a challenge for him, to uncover layer after layer to her person and know— he just wanted to know her secrets, had no intention of using them against her or doing anything with them, really— he just had to understand her.

And every day, Eowyn revealed only enough for him to obsess over all over again. She barely opened the curtains to the window of a locked chamber, allowing him just enough to know there was something there but never know what it was. Not all of her revelations were shown through conversations– in fact, the majority was based on her altering moods, as indetectable as they were to others.

He continued to stare, mind truly blank for something more to say. “Sure.”

He couldn’t help the deep breath he inhaled inside the warm greenhouse, that smelled mostly of varied flora but contained something else, her own scent somehow intertwined in the greenhouse from all the time she spent in there. His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head at the thought of what her office in the library must smell like, of what her bedroom smelled like.

“Now before we approach her, there are some rules,” she spoke so quickly and lowly, he had to strain his neck down to catch everything. Surprisingly, he found that he didn’t need to pull his wings tighter into himself to fit, the small space somehow big enough to fit both of them comfortably through the rows of plants. “You do not, under any circumstances, point at her,” she instructed, “it makes her feel insecure and anxious and it will kill her. You’re not allowed to speak to her unless you’re praising her in some way, and please, for the love of the Mother, do not approach her if you’re in a sour mood. She can detect that and it makes her so upset, she’ll refuse to eat for days”

“And why am I speaking to a plant?”

“Because here, life is precious,” she said grandly yet the way her gaze held his told him she did not speak lightly. As boisterous, even performative, as Eowyn was when she was feeling particularly tired— a rather common occurrence he’d noticed in the few months they’d trained together— there was an edge to her voice, only barely noticeable enough for him to know that she truly meant her words, believed in them. “A greenhouse oversees the line between mortality and immortality. Here, plants may sometimes die, but I’m here to make sure that their kind doesn’t die with them— thus they will live on, as long as the earth, its nutrients, and the sun allow it to. I quite enjoy the perspective it offers.”

He’d noticed this of Eowyn, as well. As sharp and cunning, if perhaps somewhat timid and shy at first glance, as she was, there was something peculiar about her that one could never pinpoint. It was no secret that she was bright, that she held an infinite wisdom in her sharp dark eyes, but they also held something some may find… jarring. An almost imperceptible but always present sort of manic way about her. 

Her eyes, the only indicator he had to perceive any type of true emotion, were always flittering around, always inspecting her surroundings, as if looking or expecting something to occur at any moment. He noticed, sometimes, how she seemed to tremble in place in a way that went beyond exertion or even cold from the brisk mornings, like there was something rattling inside her that needed to get out.

It was particularly present now. He inspected her and noticed the dark circles under her already dark eyes framed by long soft lashes. He’d known for a while that Eowyn often had trouble sleeping, and he was beginning to recognize the signs when she was going through a particularly tough episode. 

She had told him that since their training had begun and she became more exposed to the outside world, she’d found solace in nature beyond what was contained within a mountain. This helped, she told him, but it clearly wasn’t enough.

Despite her clear sleepless frenzy and anxious energy, Azriel thought, objectively, of course, that she looked rather beautiful. 

He immediately chastened himself at the thought.

He’d made a vow, if only to himself, to focus on himself for once rather than to yearn for or ‘pant’ after females, as Rhys had so gently put it. Had decided that unrequited affections only brought hurt and pain, and going after a priestess that sought haven in a library precisely because she’d been so hurt by a male that she would want to live in a micro-society where they couldn’t invade, was like a slap in the face. As if he only went after unavailable females and what did that say about him as a male?

As always, he stopped the thought and filed it away for later.

Instead, he spent the rest of the morning listening to Eowyn coo and awe and the truly puny and ugly plant barely sprouting two leafs that looked like flat lips, but he kept the comment to himself, promising not to look at the plant that she’d ever-so-lovingly called Thelxi, in tribute to the Siren Thelxiepeia from the human tales that cunningly seduced her prey before consuming them like a true predator. She cooed at the plant, telling it how smart and cunning it was in between her truly fascinating bits of information that she often shared with him. Information he cherished, despite its lack of practical use.

It wasn’t until his shadows pulled him away from the bubble he hadn’t realized he was in, whispering of his brother’s annoyance mixed with concern about his lack of appearance in the sparring ring.

Even as he rushed Eowyn out of the greenhouse and into their group session, feeling Cassian’s red hot glare upon him when he showed his face, he couldn’t bring himself to regret the slight alterations to what was otherwise a perfectly normal day.

part nine

taglist: @lilah-asteria , @a-courtof-azriel, @honk4emoboyz , @feyretopia , @mrsjna , @buttermilktea11 , @bravo-delta-eccho , @kylieinwonderland

[misstwisted]

ALRIGHT I JUST FINISHED TRAP AND I LOST MY FUCKINGN M I N D *spoiler warning of course*

YALL

Y A L L

I WAS DOING EVERYTHING TO KEEP MYSWLF FROM GOING APESHIT. TRAP WAS N O T WHAT I WAS EXPECTING (IN A WONDERFUL WAY). THAT WAS AMAZING. I JUST GOT OUT THE THEATER AND I STILL HAVENT PROCESSED IT FULLY.

FOR SOME CONTEXT/BACKSTORY, I WAS OBSESSING OVER THIS MOVIE FOR WEEKS. I WAS TALKING ABOUT IT TO WHOEVER LISTENED. MY BOY YOU KNOW THAT MEME WHERE THAT PERSON WAS LIKE “I’m sorry for the person I’ll become when I watch this?” DAWG THAT WAS WHAT I WAS FEELING LIKE

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY BUT ILL TRY TO FRAME MY THOUGHTS THE BEST I CAN IN THIS

IT WAS INSANE. IT FELT LIKE WHIPLASH GOING FROM THESE CUTE MOMENTS OF A FATHER AND DAUGHTER AT A CONCERT MEANWHILE HE WREAKS HAVOC TO FUCKING CHAOS.

IT FELT LIKE THE MOVIE WAS UNRAVELING THE MORE I WATCHED IT. IT WAS ALSO SURPRISINGLY FUNNY.

I GOTTA BE HONEST, I LOVE COOPER. I WENT IN KNOWING I WAS GONNA LIKE HIM TO FEELING GUILT AND SHAME FOR BEING HAPPY HE ESCAPED. HE WAS SUCH A SILLY GUY FOR A SERIAL KILLER AND I WAS SO CURIOUS TO SEE WHERE HIS CRIMINAL ANTICS WOULD GO. I WAS HOOKED TO THAT SCREEN.

BEUH I WAS CONVINCED FOR A SECOND COOPER COULD TELEPORT BECAUSE HOW????? HOW WAS HE ABLE TO ESCAOE THAT CAR. IS HE ALSO A MOTHERFUCKING ESCAPE ARTIST ON THE SIDE BECAUSE I WOULDNT BE SURPRISED. I’m glad the genre of “serial killing men with mommy issues” is still going strong. I love how he genuinely cares for his kids. He’s now apart of my mental list of evil characters who are still better than my dad. Honestly if he didn’t over react he could’ve left with his daughter without any grief 😭. Like dawg just walk out the back door like you planned.

SPEAKING OF SURPRISE I WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED AT THE PERFORMANCES, ESPECIALLY JOSH. WHEN I WATCHED THE TRAILERS I IMAGINED HE’D DO PRETTY GOOD, BUT HE BLEW ME AWAY. I CANT BELIEVE THIS WHOLE MOVIE TURNED ME INTO A NEW JOSH HARTNETT FAN. I WAS STRAIGHT UP LIKE “DUDE SOMEBODY GET THIS MAN AN OSCAR”

ALSO THAT SCENE WITH KID CUDI MADE ME CACKLE I LOVE HIM JUST CASUALLY FLIRTING WITH COOPER “MURDEROUS DILF” ADAMS IN FRONT OF HIS DAUGHTER BECAUSE LIKE SAME. And I love that cooper isn’t freaked out by it, he literally looks like this has happened to him a million times.

I think this movie changed me in a weird way and I might wreak havoc for the next couple months on this blog with content with it because oml I’m so glad I enjoyed it. Josh Hartnett I haven’t known you/followed you through your career for long but everything about this role you did was perfect and I’m sure your fans are just as proud of you as I am. I made a damn bracelet about you and everything.

honestly I still don’t know if I’ve said everything I needed/wanted to say about this movie yet so PLEASE people talk to me about this movie I’m begginggggg. I’m so glad I kept a positive mind about this film. M NIGHT I LOVE YOU THANK YOU.

but now I have a weird feeling of lost, like, I wanted to see this movie so bad and now I did and it’s over. And next on my theater watch is the crow remake and now I’m like “fuck, now I’m gonna watch a movie I’m gonna HATE.”

also whoever decided to have Josh take his shirt off in the hottest way in the movie for no reason and also put it in the trailer…:

Also I’d like to report that movie theater popcorn still makes me feel sick BUT I KEEP COMING BACK TO IT.

[libby-for-life]

How do you think this Adam who has memories of death and suffering love and just his long life and after life would deal with the fact that in Eden Death and all these bad things aren't even a thing yet. This Lucifer and Lilith haven't done anything to hurt him yet(aside from lying and sleeping together and avoiding him but now they love him and want him so thats fixed).

They think he is their sweet naive Adam but I wonder if part of him will be frusterated because he sort of ISN'T. would he ever snap at all this affection they want to give him because he can't understand why NOW? want to lash out and make them hurt because when they didn't notice 'Their' sweet adam was replaced? like dude is agrown as man and technically older in experience than these two..had a bunch of kids..went through alot of stuff..death twice even.

lucifer punching him over and over in that final battle despite giving into mercy thanks to charlie..would he wonder if the entire universe was reset? did everything he experience just.... not happen? was it just a vision of the potential future? a bad dream? does he think this is some elaborate punishment like heaven likes to give him and his loved ones when they get prideful or not obedient?

Would he ever miss the versions of lilith and lucifer he knew from the timeline he experienced despite the hurt and pain just because they would be comfortable in their familiarity?

its really interesting because Lilith and lucifer seem the ones more in control with a plan while they believe adam is acting odd and they want to know why but they basically still see them as their normal Adam.

while WE know the balance is a bit different because Adam has knowledge and has known them longer it seems cuz of the memories....

like when Adam fell from the tree it startled them both but i wonder if adam will have moments of being scared or on edge because he remembered when death and actual pain and hurt was a thing while lilith and lucifer might not notice/realize because those havent been invented yet.

considering lucifer is a angel...would he try to look a bit more into why adam's behaviour has changed?

like it seems they think its just adam realized that Lilith was sneaking away to be around lucifer and that adam and lonely and upset they'd lie and that he might have picked up on the distance....which could explain his behaviour....but WE know Adam's change is rooted a bit more deeply than that...will they notice more behaviour changes that don't quite line up with things?

I wonder if adam would ever kind of treat them like kids since these are younger versions of the people he knows? even if he's now in his younger body and technically the same age as lilith his mind/memories are older?

if adam is particularly talented at sex stuff...would lilith and lucifer wonder how he got that good without them realizing?

would adam ever have flashes of feelings like shame of his body or of being naked while lucifer and lilith pick up something wrong bt they won't have the context since shame was a punishment that hasn't been given yet?

and he can't really address it because he is trying not to be caught?

would they even believe him if he came clean about his memories? or is it his best bat to make sure no one has to suffer from the sins and free will? like before lilth seemed bothered about adam just doing as he was told and how it felt like he was going through the motions and just accepting everything at face value so she let herself doubt his ability to choose...but considering this adam know exactly what happens when they break the rules and can be an educated decision...would adam have more conviction in his choice about following the rules now that Lilith would notice or would lucifer and lilith be bias and think they know best and that adam is just being too cautious?

considering lucifer in now both their lovers(i guess) does that mean lucifer won't get in trouble now or would they want Adam to keep it a secret from the other angels?

Is adam startled at the sensitivity of his body even if his mind remembering being used to it?

I wonder if Lucifer and Lilith will catch on that Adam likes touch since Lilith seemed aware that Adam seems to like to cling and be close like the monkeys even if he tried to distance himself? would they start reaching out and touching and holding Adam first more?

i wonder if Adam will do more stuff for music to be made and stuff?

would Adam try working out to get stronger just in case he ever gets kicked out of Eden again?

dude wants to be upset at them so much but these versions are so sweet and feel so young vs the ones he knew and haven't done the worst yet. I wonder if he ever notices aspects the versions HE knows in his normal timeline now that he's comparing them to more naive honest versions of themselves...like they think they are so sneaky but is it kindof cute compared to their future versions? does he notice lucifer looks sincerely happy here and aspects compared to the more bravado version who was smug and kicked his ass but who was definitely also depressed? how lucifer likes creating things and was so gentle now but in that future needed someone else to snap him out of his rage....(though to be fair adam can probably understand a fathers protective rage). would adam compare this lilith to the one he made a deal with in the regular timelines? would lilith have a front to? but be more aware this lilith isn't really doing stuff for long planning just yet.

I wonder if Adam will also notice aspects like how this lucifer is treated by heaven or get lilith to actually tell him why she'd lie instead of hashing it out properly since dude WAS a father so probably could realize people don't react the way they do out of nowhere.

Does this Adam ever reflect on how he reacted to get where he was in the final battle before he was stabbed?

though I guess he never really knew why he was in heaven anyway so randomly getting thrown into the past wouldn't be the weirdness thing over all he's done. I wonder if he'll ever think about how he's killed people and seen people die and how this lucifer and lilith have no idea about that aspect and how scary it can be...hmmm.

will the other angels catch on that something is up?

Okay, so a lot to unpack from the Theirs au of yandere!Lucifer/Adam/yandere!Lilith. Read that if you don't want spoilers.

Okay, so Adam would definitely have some points where he does feel overwhelmed by it all. He has experienced more and it's hard to forget all that. He's going to sometimes think if what he experienced was even real...then why was it so vivid? He will even panic when something reminds him too much of his past...or is future? Adam isn't so sure....best not to think about it too hard.

Adam is definitely going to fight their love (read:obsession) and he's going to try to avoid them as best as can. He lasted a week before Lucifer found him in a cave. (Theirs! Part 2). Adam also learns what happens to angels, or humans, when they try to fight their love. Heaven has it's own set of punishment...

Adam wouldn't treat them like kids because they don't look like kids. They don't act like kids and they all have had sex so it would be weird for him to think of them as kids.

He would be conflicted about the *other* versions of Lucifer and Lilith....he doesn't want to think about that. It hurts too much.

Lucifer and Lilith think that they know better and they will delude themselves into thinking Adam will need them. (I'm headcanoning that they gain Knowledge by themselves before even attempting to eat the fruit.) He will try to fight them, but being constantly told that he needs them, being held against his will, and having sex with them until he's brought to sub space, well, it's a bit hard to fight them. He eventually will succumb to their will.

Adam was...okay at sex. But, despite Lilith being relatively new to it and Lucifer showing them all what he learned in Heaven, Adam still feels inexperienced simply because Lilith and Lucifer are *better* at sex than he is. You can have all the knowledge but if you can't implement it, then it's useless.

Lucifer will want Adam to keep their relationship a secret, the other angels would get furious if they knew that he had defiled the first man and woman of humanity.

He will have times of body shame, but Lucifer and Lilith are quick to assure him and love him and hug him until he stops saying them.

They catch it early on that Adam is touch starved, but will fight them, so they hold him against his will until he's calmed down and is docile. (They wait until he stops fighting and gives up due to exhaustion.)

Lucifer and Lilith want to do everything for Asam so they do. Adam doesn't need to work out or do anything too strenuous because they will do it for him.

And, well, they can be sweet to Adam. But they are *very* possessive of Adam. They won't tolerate anyone touching or being with Adam. They will get rid of anyone who thinks they can touch what is theirs. Be it some cherub or a new human that could pop up...they will eliminate the competition. Without Adam's knowledge of course. No need to upset him. (Part 5 of Theirs)

If anyone ever catches on to what they're doing, they will all be thrown out of Eden. Possibly Hell. Lucifer and Lilith won't care as long as they have Adam. Adam will be depressed for a while, but he isn't alone so *eventually* he gets...sort of better.

They will have fronts that they keep in front of Adam. They will try to hide their darker nature that keeps reeling their ugly heads. Adam will eventually see through it, but even now, he still thinks they are...well, weird and touchy and don't listen but he doesn't think of capable of anything truly nefarious.

Not yet anyway...

[daydrinking75]

fuck off i just wana get high of prescription medication so my back stops hurting and not participate in society. cant i just DO things? without the weight of having a future and fighting for to keep it. its not that im being forced to, but its my only option. i dont think its worth dying yet, theres nothing to die over really; the cumulative experience of 20 years really is nothing in the grand scheme of things. i have an idea of who i could be, and id like to see that person and be that person, but i can only do so if i keep living. and living means work. it takes a lot of work to live. and that makes me just wana kill myself because why is life--something thats upheld on this stupid pedestal and considered "good"--so damn painful? to me anyway. thats the unfortunate thing, i can only experience the universe through myself. these things are only painful to me, in the sense that without myself present, there wouldn't ve anyone in pain. and the world wold continue to exist. "painful" really just means inconvenient. then again, maybe i just havent felt real pain. im a white girl complaining on the internet with fancy words--i know how it sounds. and even then, pain beyond my understanding is just an extreme inconvenience beyond my understanding. it doesnt devalue it though, what was gained and lost from the pain doesnt go away just because it's a pest. thats the opposite of what they do. some people have wasp nests in their brain. some people clean them out, some let them fester--some people have butterflies (how wonderful that must be), ants, spiders--things of an infestive nature. they accumulate over time, its up to you how to handle it. its a responsibility, to live. to ensure to properly treat the environment of infectents. and ive always struggled to care. to give a fuck. i just dont. for whatever reason, on principle, i couldnt be bothered with responsibility. but i am by the suffering it brings. and the eventual suffocation--forget falling figs, i feel like im watching termites devour my future because of my conscious neglect. i cant stand it. and im sure this is a common occurrence. but i dont have a "will to live" i have a will to become, and the only way to do that is to stay alive long enough for me to understand and grow myself into someone worth dying next to. because im unable to become something when i die, thats all i am, dead. and all the blood and tears and trauma that comes with that concept. but in my experience life is full of that anyway, and the only thing that sets apart the "big sleep" is the act of ending life. it just stops. its a given that im agnostic--i wish i believed in a god that loved me, people often seem happier when they have divine love, even if it hurts others--and for me heaven isnt a place i'll find after i die. hell might be, but that doesnt change the fact that the afterlife remains provably defined as a variable. an entity of limitless possibilities, including nothing at all. the only thing thats known for sure is that its not this, its not life. otherwise it wouldn't end so abruptly. so life and death are antithetical and interchangeable; just two different states of existence. its not by any fault of its own that death is so painful; its a function, a process, it will execute its purpose regardless of if it hurts someone or not. unfortunately all things living, including people, are those who deal with the hurt. no one finds the things that hurt them appealing. well, thats a lie. if you know you know. lets say its at the very least impractical; if you want to live, why would you be attracted towards death? what a wonderful question. its a shame i dont have the answer. i have speculations, educated guesses, impulsive thoughts, but its about time i circle back to the point im trying, flimsily, to make; its impossible to live without thinking. without engaging in life. in society. in people. its those things that give us substance; reality is precious because its uncontrollable, daydreams wont ever compare. so maybe the unknown isnt so scary. its different.

[baby-xemnas]

have a 🐯🐻‍❄️ vision stuck in my head 🔞🔞🔞🔞

cant draw it rn im working on a big commission but ive been thinking so much about Law shooting cum all over Bepo's face and what a pain itd be to wash our of fur but Bepo would be very happy cuz Law's expression when he opened his eyes looking down on him was crazy...Bepo will happily wash spunk off of his face every day if he gets to see Law look at him like hes the most erotic thing he's ever seen.

Its too amazing, seeing his Captain looking almost apologetic for doing something filthy... Bepo thinking so much about it committing the vision to memory while he washes and dries his face...he felt very sexy ☺️ Bepo walks back into the room acting all casual and cute like "bathroom is free ^^" and sees Law lie there like "ah yeah sure" captain being quiet making him feel mischievous....he recognizes when captain feels shy, it makes Bepo even happier 🥰 him being all smiles and giggles cuddling up to Law makes him relax significantly too. Law pulls Bepo's face towards him for a kiss and Bepo is like agh it havent dried yet after i washed it >< and Law just smiles like yeah i know (happy he has such a great partner who doesnt mind him being filthy and makes him forget any shame he might feel)

[gamblersdoll]

so i do have a question for black people and for the blacks that follow you and interact, and for you. why are you barely posting about palestine but mainly post for your own community? do u not care about people being killed in gaza and hamas? and you seem pretty passionate about how black/brown washing isnt a thing, yet u haven’t educated anyone.

sound’s performative if you ask me.

the reason black people have silenced themselves about the genocide is exactly because each time we talk about our own community, we are selfish. yall seem to think when we dont make everything palestine, we are zionist.

and ontop of that, me personally— i havent stopped supporting palestine. however most of this is very performant, its also unethical (example, shaming people who work at a restaurant or company who is in college and trying to pay bills. BEFORE the genocide.) and i kept getting death threats for seeing a goddamn movie.

now onto this black/ brown washing bullshit , it originated when someone on twitter make some genshin impact character tan or brown or darkskin wtv the fuck. white supremacists felt attacked that a 2d character was black or brown. and created the term. this simply doesn’t exist because its counterintuitive, because whitewashing is when you take a original black person and turn them white for the white media to be acceptable.

black people will have and never have been accepted. so does that make sense to you?

what sounds performative is you trying to shame me for posting whats going with my people, and then trying to come to my job, michael.

[throughtrialbyfire]

Turn all eternal Eternal the wheel A circle in circle May be unbroken still

stained glass has been a huge part of my life since the very beginning, and it felt a shame i havent done any art based on the art i grew up around! so, here's my dragonborn trio as a stained glass piece <3 the lineart is probably one of my most challenging ones yet, as it had to make sure it was clean and neat to mimic soldering

hoping that i'll be able to make more art in this style, it was extremely fun to experiment with. thanks for reading!

[hirik0]

Dirty thoughts

Rodolfo/Alejandro

NSFW: Blow jobs

Staring forward in the mission briefing taking notes not expecting anything, and Alejandro gets jumped by his memories again. Looking at Rodolfo a few rows ahead stoping his note taking. Rudy is looking over his shoulder at him, before looking back front. Alejandro looks down at his notes, a blush creeping up their neck. The memory of the night a few weekends ago. Of Rudy, his best friend, on his knees sucking his dick, while the woman Miranda?, is preparing herself for what's to come. How good it felt, how he nearly came down his friends throat, having to sit with the fact that no woman ever blow him as good. The questions of why Rudy is so good at it, he don't dare to ask, they haven't talked a lot since the threesome and people are asking if they had a fight. They havent, yet, probably would make things easier. But, he can't think about anything else, when he's alone with the other it's get unbearable. The harder he trys to push it away the worse it becomes and Rudy absolutely unbothered, as if he sucks the dick of his fellow soilder all the time. The jealousy he that is burning everytime when thinks about the others that Y blow, is stupid, irrational, not needed. The terrible road of acceptance he's not 100% heterosexual is long and he can't get off it because every exit has bisexuality written on it. Its all Rudy's fault, why did he thought that was necessary to do? The shame after jerking of to the memory, how this one night made his life so fucking complicated and wanking off impossible. So he's in a bad mood all the time, hiding away when ever he can get away with it, haven done a embarrassing amount of am I gay quizes. Reading about the Kinsey scale and trying to figure out where his score is, wondering where Rudy is landing. It's eating him alive he has to talk with his best friend about this soon because after they talked things will go back to normal, right? He feels like he is slowly going insane.

Rudy don't understand the curent one-sided conflict with Ale. A constant aura of hostility radiating of his friend. It got so bad he got pulled in a office by a higher up and forced to talk. They fucking ordered him to tell them. So he told a half truth, that they both tried to get with the same woman and that Alejandro didnt got her. The cometary about teenage behaviour nearly made him roll his eyes so hard he risked them being stucked at the inside of his head. He tried to talk with Ale about the night, but they can't even talk about the weather at the moment, so dropping a casual hey so about the blow job I gave you is out the question. So they don't talk and everybody has to walk on eggshells. He feels, eyes burning holes in his back, he don't need to look over his shoulder to know its Alejandro, he does it anyway. The angry stare, is pushing some of his buttons because he dont think Alejandro fucking Vargas can get more attractive. He took what was probably his only chance of having sex with the other, a guy he has a massive crush on for years. Now he has to pretend, that it was a blowing your fellow soilder blow job. Nothing special when it was special to him. He can only hope that Ale is not disgusted by him being bi and ending their friendship what also negatively effect them working together. He focuses on the map of the compound they are about to raid. Seeing the closet on the 2nd floor, fucking ironic to talk about this in a closet right? Trapping Alejandro somewhere is likely the only chance to talk this out, because as soon as the briefing is over Ale will disapear into thin air.

The time they spend in vehicles is to much, also you are trapped in them. Hes fucking trapped for 4 hours in a airplane and he cant avoid his problem. Rudy is sitting next to him, his usall pre drop off nervousness making his legs bounce, but he sat down next to him as if they are not talking with each other for weeks. As if everything is normal and not everyone is looking at them and silently asking themselves why they are so distant. He cant push the talk any longer, how do you even do this? He never had to do that? What do you even say? Thanks you for the blow job, I didnt expect? Do you compliment the skill? He would never do that to a woman, so why to another man? He needs to get some rest, this whole situation is keeping it up at night. Out of habid he is resting his head on Rudys shoulder, before closing his eyes. Not thinking he will really fall asleep, but still taking as much of rest as he can. Not seeing all the eyes on them, not realsisng how the leg bouncing is shortly stopping, before it starts again. Not realising how some of Rudys nervousness is falling of, that he is basiclly saying what happend is not changing how they work together. That he said very much with a little gesture, slowly drifting into a light sleep.

Rudy trys to act like always sitting down next to Alejando as usally. Geeting pre mission jitters and bouncing his legs, but he has to force himself to not pick up the pace. The unsertenty if the threesome is changeing how they work in the field is eating him up. That everyone is predenting to not watching them to figure out the exact same thing is also not helping. The added external pressure that they dont need and Ale dont even seems to realise. They need to talk, so badly this cant keep going, he had weeks to prepare himself to be able to pretend its just a fellow soilder sexual favor trait. He can do this, he is keeping his feelings at bay for years by now, he can keep doing it. Alejandros head is hitting his shoulder. His legs stop, while the realisition is hitting him. Looks like things in the field are not about to change yet. With him starting to bounce his legs again the whole atmosphere is plane is changing, like every one his daring to breath again. He feels the watchful eyes of the others leave them while Ale is totally unaware falling asleep. They are a perfect team in the field and them breaking apart because of a stupid blow job would honestly mortifying. He looks at the captain who is giving him a approving nod.

They finished clearing the floor, starting to look for intel, they are looking through the office close to the staircase. Rodolfo looking through a bookshelve, while he trys to open the drawer at the desk. Failing miserable his hands being shacky and this stupid cheep lock is way to hard to open. Being so focused on the task he dont hear, that Rudy walked up to him. Waiting for him, to finish his work. He hears the click, opens the drawer, filled with office suplies, the next has some documents in them to look over. He puts them on the desk skipping over them, do desite if this is usefull. Suddenly Rudy, who is a head shorter them him, is pressing against his back, his arms catching him in. His heart tries to leave his ripcage.

"We will talk back at base", Rudy is wispering in his ear and Alejandro has to supress a noice, stiffening. He nods and Rodolfo is stepping back. Walking to the next room. Alejandro is slowly dropping to the ground. Holy shit, his brain is already making up scenarious. He takes several deep breaths he need to finish his god damm job and not thinking about being pinned down against the desk. Not to forget he should not think about MEN in a sexual context, let alone his best friend. He schould think about doing that to a WOMAN, if he has to think about it. He looks over the papers again, pushing his inapropiated thoughs away, like always. Push them down, dont think like this, dont think about it, dont FUCKING think about it, familiar mantra by now. He looks at a page, with transaction on them, folding them, before he puts them away in his back pack. Looking for Rudy finding him in a room full of filing cabints, they will spent the rest of the mission in here, fuck.

Rodolfo is looking at the book titels, and folders on the bookshelf not finding anything. He looks over to Alejandro, who trying to pick a lock, his hand unusally shacky. On every other day, this lock would not cause trouble to the other. He fucked up with impusivly blowing his best friend the consequences of his action very visible. He moves towards the desk, waiting for Ale to finish what hes doing. He listens to the raidio, the team on the forth floor is talking about struggeling to get into the server room. Great, at least the other got the lock open. Exposing a few office suplies, before he pulls some papers out. He so easily could pin Ale against the desk right now and he wants to, so god damm badly. A lot of surfaces would, look better with Alejandro Vargas pinned down on, he shakes the train of thougt of, stepping close to Ale. Pressing himself agaisnt the back in front of him, his arms on the desk, caging the other in, so he cant run away.

"We will talk back at base", he is wispering in Alejandros ear, waiting for a response. Feels how the bigger man is stiffening up before he nods. He supresses the want to say good boy, insteat stepping back, to look for intel in one of the other offices. The room behind the door, he has to break open is storing a lot of documents, he keeps the door open so that Ale can help him looking over whats in the file cabinets. The first cabinet he is opening full of personal files. He needs a moment to remember the names of some target persons, before he starts looking over the names. He pulls out one of the files, a potential relativ to a target person. He radios the mission lead over his finding waiting for confirmation. Alejandro walks in the room, going to work on a cabitnet at the other wall. He looks towards the door, Bravo 4.3 and 4.5 already confirmed to walk towards them. He wants to do very inaprobiated thinks to this best friend, but non of them possible to do in the few minutes they have before the rest of the team is showing up. Before the blowjob he could put this thoughts away till he was alone and never on a mission, when there was down time in a save house, get a grip.

They are in Rudies room, to talk. He is so fuckign nervous he has the feeling he wants to throw up, the las time he felt like this was when he tried to join mexican special forces. He sits on the desk, kicking his legs to keep the nervousnessand nee to run out of the room. Rudy looks just as nervous about this as he feels.

"So, you eh do this more often? Like blowing guys." Alejandro is cringing about his own question, great way to start this. To clean up the mess that's sticking to the floor by now.

"Sometimes." The poison of jealousy is mixing in the acid pit that is his stomach. Why is he so god damm jealous about what Rudy does with other man. He likes woman, all these test telling him hes bisexual are wrong. It makes no sense, he can't even pretend its worry of Rodolfo getting caught its ugly venomous jealousy.

"Oh, so eh what does that mean for us?" Alejandro is playing with his hands looking at the floor, not seeing that Rudy is palling the question.

"It was just part of the threesome it dont has to mean anything." Rodolfo answers sounding like he is forcing himself to say this, ungeniuen, but why should he lie.

"I can work with that", Alejandro says looking up, trying to read Rudys face. Cant pinpoint what is going on in the other mans head, the nervousness is not dieing down.

Rodolfo fells his heart shater into shards over what Alejandro said, masking the pain. It meant fucking everthing to him. He selfishly took his chance with the threesome, he should have decliend, should have known it would break his heart, but he was drunk and well, he could satisfy one of his many fantasies of Alejandro. And how he got pulled of when Ale was close, got him a fucking power trip. Knowing that the other liked it. Wanting to do it again. Wanting to bring the others to his knees.

"So you're bi?", Alejandro is asking curiosly, not sounding like he is judging. That's good a few worries fall of him.

"Yeah, but I prefere woman", Rudy lies, needing to atleast save the friendship because he cant lose Alejandro as a friend or learn to trust somebody else to watch his 6. Alejandro is nodding, before he slides down the desk to leave the room.

"So we are cool?" "We are cool." With that Ale is waving his hand, before he walks out the room. Rodolfo is falling on the bed, putting his face in the pillow, screaming into it, tears filling his eyes now that he allows himself to feel the pain. He hopefully saved the friendship atleast, but they are not cool, he is yearning to get Alejandro back in his bed. He cant even fucking wank anymore, because only the memory from that night, this stupid mistake of a night is playing in his mind all the time. How is he suposed to not use his knowledge about Alejandro for this? How his mouth is open a littel bit when he comes, that his eyes fall shut, he throws his head back and bows his back. How he sounds, how he blushes down to his chest, how beautiful he looks blissed out? How cant he not want to see it again? Forget how he wants to make his best friend forget to bite his lips to keep quite? He needs to put some distance between them, to lick his wounds he knows a linger solo mission is lined up. Perfect to get the time and space to get back to normal.

Alejandro dropps down on his bed, trying to get himself together. They talked, nothing changed. Nearly nothing changed but now he knows that Rodolfo is giving other guys blow jobs. This is not sitting well with him, makes him angry and jealous. It is so dumb, why does he even care this much, he only like woman, the blow job was a fluke. Something Rudy just did, because what else should they do while Chiara? prepped herself? It was logical, for them do keep themselves busy, so why is it causing him so much trouble? Also maybe Elena? said it was fucking hot and her pussy dripped, so no harm was done it made the threesome better. Why is this becoming a growing part of his sexual crisis? You can only take that many Am I gay quizes and get the same results, before you have to exept it. Alejandro is not their yet. Rudy said he is prefering woman over man right. So he is basicly hetero, but enjoys dick from time to time. Alejandro is groaning, he needs to stop thinking about this, he is not bi, not even with a preference for woman, he only likes woman. He likes tits, and curvy hips and a ass you can slap, if she is into it. The test must be wrong and the Kinsey scale is nonsence. Push it away, you talked about it, its cleared up now. He pulls up his phone time to watch porn, straigth porn, he havend wanked in a while. He fucking needs it and his head will be clearer after a good heterosexual orgasm. They have no duties tomorow so he can even take his time. He scolls down, looking for someting intressting. He stops at a threesome with two men and a woman, struggeling to scroll past the video. This is to close to home, he can find one with two womand and a man one to watch. He clicks on the video, its just two duds doppel stuffing a woman, what's the harm? Turning the volume down, watching mesmerised. Not touching his dick, just watching. Seeing how actor 1 and the woman are fucking. Hyper analysing everything, the sheets, the positions, the bodys. The third is walking in and he cant keep his eyes of the massiv dick, instead on the fat tits of the woman, that are jiggling with each trust of actor 1. Actor 2 is saying something and he surely will start fucking the womans mouth soon. He is wrong, so fucking wrong. Actor 2 is playing with actor 1s ass. He closes the video, getting of the site, not having the need to jerk off anymore, dropping the phone like it burned him. He feels that he is rock hard, something that rarely happens to him while watching porn. The phone is lying next to him, taunting him, a part of his brain wanting to finish the video. This part is knowing the orgasm will be good, satisfying, mind blowing. Closing his eyes is a mistake, because the memorys are haunting him, of Rudy coming, bitting Maria? in the shoulder to muffel his moan, how sweat is runing down his face and back. How blown his eyes were. Would he bite him in the shoulder? Would Rudy enjoy it as much as that night if it was only him? Would Rudy leave his hips bruised like he did with, maybe Natalie? He looks at his still hard dick then at his phone. He can finish this dumb video and it will mean nothing. He reopens the browser and restarting the video. His free hand slipping down his pants he is so hard he can come before actor 2 is making an entrance. His brain was right the orgasm was mind-blowing. When it happened is irrelevant and this is not damaging his heterosexuality.

Alejandro accepts his defeat while watching a football match with the rest of the team. Rudy still away on his solo mission. Its a rainy day, fall just a few days old. He is finally leaving the highway to hell of sexual crisis, taking the exit to enter bi sexuality city, he is circling for two months by now. He can't denile it any longer his browser history filled with two men one woman porn. And he hates it, he hates this new reality, because that means the flood of dirty thoughts and fantasies he has about Rudy are things he actually wants. Seeing the what is happening in the videos and imaging doing them with Rodolfo? Is now something he wants, he craves, at this point needs. But they agreed it means nothing. So why is his brain not getting it? Why can't he replace his best friend with another man? Is it because he dont have to come up with mannerism and he has memories to go back too? Rudy will return soon and there is no place for any if these thoughts in brain, but he knows it won't stop. The last 2 and a half months teaches him that pushing it down won't bring him anywhere. So what to do? What should he do?! Keeping this his deepest dirtiest secret till the day he dies? He can do that, dint tell don't ask, don't act. Easy right? Right?!?

It is not easy, infact it his the hardest think he ever had to do that is not job related. They are on a break from working the graveyard ship. Rudy is smoking and he can keep his eyes of his lips. Can't keep the knowledge that these lips where around his dick away. Heat is creeping up his cheeks, the blush is slowly taking over his face and he cant blame the cold, it is not that cold yet. Rodolfo is still looking at the distance and Alejandro despreadly trys to do the same. He is doing so fucking well, keeping his dirty thoughts away during the day and only allow them in the middle of the night. It worked, it worked perfectly and then they got the fucking graveyard ship. He already collected so fuck many dirty thoughts and if he would look at the clock he would see its nearly 3 am, the only tome he allows himself these thoughts. He is so busy keeping his brain in check that he dont even notices that Rudy is looking at him. That Rodolfo is seeing his prominent blush. He is pulled back to reality when a hand is touching his forhead. If its possible his blush is getting stronger at this. Rudy is looking at him worried, frowning.

"Everything okey?", Rudy asks and his traitors body still finds blood for his blush somewhere.

"Yes." The other is narrowing his eyes, trying to figure out if he is lying ot not. Alejandro is stammering around trying to come up with a lame excuse. Rudy is slamming one of his hands at the wall next to his head leaning in. Alejandro has his deer in the head lights moment frezzing up, despreadly trying to melt into the wall, nothing. Sure his left site is completely free and he could just use it to get away, but he cant, he's glued to the fucking spot. This best friend watching him carefully, analysing him.

"Fuck this is hot." The thought is slipping out of his mouth and he's done. That's it, its over. Rodolfos face changed from confused, to surprise to knowing. A smirk apearing on his face and he is so fucking hot right now.

"Thinking about my lips around your dick, aren't you? Dirty." Alejandro wants to die on the spot, or the ground to open up and taking him down. He makes a high pitched noice before covering his mouth with his hands, the arousal that is keeping his face red now being replaced by embarrassment, because what elite soilder makes this kind of sound? He's fucked, he is so fucked.

Rodolfo is deep in thought, smoking his cigarette, Ale next to him doing what ever. He pulled himself together over the 3 weeks he was away, his emotions back to around the time before the blowjob. Some days are rough, but he's surviving. He just wants to give Ale a short side look to check in if he wants to go back in. Can watch how his friends face is turning redder by the second. What is going on? He puts his hand on the others forhead, being warm to his touch, but not hot as if Ale is getting sick. Why, what? Its not that cold and they are here maybe 10 minutes.

"Everything okey?" And Rodolfo is not sure if he is imaging that Ales face is getting even warmer to the touch.

"Yes." He never heared Alejandro talk like this. Something is up. The stammering around is the final nail in the coffin Alejandro is hiding something. He uses his hand that is still holding the unfinished cigarette to push the bigger man against the wall, the other is placed next to his head, Rudy has to stand on his tiptoes. He sees the widend eyes of Ale how his breath is getting faster, how the other is pressing himself more against the wall. He looks his friend over, trying to get any hint. In the end Ale is giving him the clue all on his own.

"Fuck this is hot." Uh... Rodolfos brains is trying to processes everything all at ones. What.. oh

OH..

This is happening okey, so but why.

How did they get here?

He is fidgeting with his cigarette and ohhhhh that's how. He can't keep the smirk to himself and he cant keep help but tease the other even if his face can't get more red then it already is.

"Thinking about my lips around your dick aren't you? Dirty." Purring the dirty seductivly. He can't even name the sound Alejandro is making. High pitched, not a whine but also not a wimper he wants more of this sound. Hands are covering Ales mouth and it's so fucking cute. Rudy is pulling closer moving his head towards the others ear being able to hear the gasp Ale is making.

"I know a place, if you want." Keeping his hand on Alejandros hip, wanting to move it somewhere else but also not to come of to strong. He pulls back looking the others face over again. Waiting for a answer, taking a drag from the cigarette. Seeing how Alejandros eyes are following it how they glue to his lips. Fuck he spend the last 3 weeks to tell himself this will never happen and that's fine, that he can be sad, hurt, angry about the fact. To learn he can have it, only a fool would not. A bit more, he needs to push a bit more, but they also have to return soon, graveyard ship don't mean you can slake off to much.

"This time you won't even need to pull me off can cum down my throat." Alejandro is moaning at this, he got him. He pulls Ales hands down, hearing how audible he is breathing now, before he nearly kisses the other. Waiting for the other to close the distance.

Alejandros brain is trying to catch up. He missed several steps from him mindlessly starting at the other to being here. He watches Rodolfo leaning in closer, the breath of the other ghosting over his cheek. Not trying to think about that Rudy has to get on his tiptoes for this, because Rudy feels like he is bigger then Alejandro at the moment.

"I know a place, if you want." If Rudy wouldn't have his hand on his hip he would slide down the wall, because he dont even know what else to do. His brain is stop working for a moment, no new information getting entered. Holly shit. Every synonym for yes is racing through his mind, non making it to his mouth. His body finally moving blood out of his face, but towards is dick is not helping. Rudy is taking a drag from his cigarette and maybe he is to focused how the lips are closing around the filter. Getting to offert these lips around his dick again, honestly Rudy could ask for a lot more and he would say yes at this point. Shit how much time passed since he should have answered?

"This time you won't even need to pull me off, can cum down my throat." Rudy, is unfair knowing excatly what to say, his dick is half hard by now. A moan is leaving his mouth, because he wanted to cum down this throat for a while now. His hands that are still covering his mouth are removed. Rudy is leaning close, he feels the others breath on his lips. He closes the cap, kissing the other. The contact is short, because he hears footsteps coming closer. They are out for to long.

"Next break", is all he says before pealing himself of the wall so nobody sees fraternizing. Two Privates are turning the corner both of them holding their packs in the hand. They are lucky it's not a comanding officer, because 30 minute smoking breaks are not tolerated even on the graveyard shift.

Next break looks like it's never coming, they are currently working on a emergency briefing and scheduling with medical, flight control and the Captian of delta team. Because of course everything is going south when you planned a hook up and the universe don't want it to happen. Rudy is still on the phone with flight control getting the helicopter ready, while Alejandro can play around with a pen while waiting for medical to call back. He pulls up the information they need for the brief, working on that, when he feels a hand on his knee. Rudy taping his finger in annoyance, listening to what ever the other person on the other site is saying. Rudy is looking at him and Alejandro feels pinned down in the chair. The gaze of Rodolfo is so intense the hand squeezing his knee, Rudy is eye fucking him right now. Alejandro bits his lower lip nervously, making the other smiles pleased at his reaction, before he answers a question he got asked on the phone. The hand is moving from his knee to his chin, Rudys thumb swiping over his lip. Alejandro don't even think about it, taking the finger in his mouth loosely bitting down, so that Rudy can pull it back at any moment. Licking over the finger, seeing how Rodolfo look is turning hungry at this. Rudy is continuing the phone call as if nothing is happening and it don't sit right with Alejandro. How can he be ready to drop on his knees to do push this further and Rudy just works like normal, like there's not something wiredly sexual is happening between them. He takes more of the finger in, licking over it covering it with drool and Rudy just looks amused at him, like Alejandor is just playing around. Rudy tries to pull his thumb back, but he is bitting down harder to stop it, getting a raised eyebrow at this, questioning. Alejandro has the feeling he looks like a very stuborn toddler right now in the end letting the finger go, slowly opening his mouth to let the finger go. Rudy is swiping his wet finger over his lips smiling pleased. The call is ending and instead of giving him any information on when Delta can leave to help Epsilon he is leaning in closer, both his hands resting on the armrest of Alejandros chair.

"The moment Delta is in the air, I will drag you out this office and you better know what you want by then Ale." Alejandro is dieing at this nodding along, because he dont think he can form any words right now. A telephone is ringing and Rudy is pulling back. Alejandro is ready to just slide down the chair to the ground because his body feels like jelly right now, instead he answers the phone because they have a job to finish.

Rudy didnt lie when he said he will drag him of. They walked past their office, that should always be filled with one officer. Alejandro dont think he ever was in this part of the administration building before, but Rudy knows where they have to go. Dont think to much about why he knows. Finally Rudy opens a door, pushing him into a unsed office. The door is pulled closet und Rody leaning against it waiting for Alejandro to start speaking. The only thing Alejandro wants to say is the question why Rudy knows this place.

"I...." Alejandro stammers, what causes Rudy to walk towards him. Alejandro steps back till he walks against the desk.

"I.. fuck I want you to suck my dick." Rudy just humms at this, looking at him.

"Hope your willing to return the favour." With that Rodolfo is dropping to his knees. Alejandro hears how his belt is being opend and the sipper being pulled down, blood rushing towards his dick. Rudy is pulling his pants and boxer down far enough to get his dick out, taking the half hard dick in his mouth and starts. Alejandro puts a hand over his.mouth, Rudy may have dragged him off to a secret sex spot at the night-shift but he still don't wants to be to loud. Rudy looks up at him displeased, but also challenging, as if to say oh well try to stay silent. Rudy is not even moving his head, just using his tounge. Licking over what ever he can find. The slit, a thick vein, trying to figure thinks out. Testing a careful use of teeth, getting a whine out of Alejandro, who is using one hand to holt on the desk for dear life, because he knows he won't survive this if Rudy finished his testing. A loud moan is leaving his mouth when Rudy is using his teeth for light pressure right where the head of his cock is ending and is licking over the slit. Rudy is looking up at him, triumph in his eyes, before pulling off.

"You like a bit of pain with your pleasure mhm?" Rudy asks intressted and Alejandro is not sure it that is true, maybe only if Rudy is doing it. He shrugs as answer and Rudy takes him in his mouth again. Rudy is moving his head slowly, getting a feeling for how much he can take in. Alejandro is moving his hand that is still clawing into the desk on Rudys head. Looking down at the other who is not botherd by this, licking the precum of his slit. Alejandro is quickly panting against his hand, that is do littel to muffel his noices, drool runing out one corner of his mouth. What is making Rudy put in more effort into his task. Licking over the vein on the undersite of his dick, using his lips to apply pressure on the tip, circel his tounge around the slit, licking up all the pre cum. The vibration of Rudy moans are driving Alejandro insane when ever he takes as much of Alejandro as he can. One of his hands playing with Alejandros balls when ever Alejandro is not muffeling his sounds. Frome time to time again using his teeth to at just at littel bit of pain and Alejandro tries to push the knowlegde away that Rodolfo is a bitter.

"Rudy...", Alejandro moans getting close, his grip on the others hair must be painfull by now. Rudy, is again using his teeth and its pushing Alejandro off the edge. The carefull presure of the teeth on is tip, a lick over his slit and Alejandro has to bite in his hand to muffel his scream. Some of Alejandros cum is running down Rudys chin, while Alejandro is tasting blood. Rudy puls off using the back of one of his hands to swipe the cum away.

"Fuck", Alejandro is mumbeling watching Rudy licking his hand clean.

"Not quite", Rudy quips in winking at him, while pulling Alejandros pants back into place. Alejandro is catching his breath before he sinks down his knees. Hes nervous, because he never did this before. He watched a stupid amount of porn blow jobs, but they did nothing to calm him down. His brain is also still recovering from his orgasm so he has no idea what Rudy did. He opens Rudys, belt and pants. He theoretical knew that Rudy, was big a few glances in the shower told him this, but that is nothing to its full size. Not a beginner size Alejandro is thing to himself, the tip was also wet from the precum that Rudy leaked while blowing him. He did a test lick a bitter salty taste on his tounge, not sure if he could like this. He can only hope that Rudy dont has that high expertation of him. He takes the tip in, doing what Rudy did to him, carefully adding pressure with his teeth.

"Dont", Rudy is saying, clearly not wanting teeth that close to his dick. Alejandro is closing his hand around the dick, taking in around a third of Rudys dick. He slowly start to move his head and hand, not knowing what to do with his tounge. For the moment, making sure that Rudys dick is sliding along it. He is twisting his hand with ever down stroke, a lot more confortable doing this.

"Ale", Rudy moans and it sounds liek the other is enjoying this. It give Alejandro more confidence to expiriment. Licking over a thick vein feeling Rudys dick throbbing. When ever only the tip is in his mouth his licks over it. The sounds Rudy is making are getting louder and more frequent, making Alejandro to take him as far in as his gag reflex lets him. Suddenly Rudy is pulling him off, so Alejandro is finishing his work with his hand. Using his thumb to circel over the tip and Rudy is comming. Most of it is covering Alejandros hand some landing on his face. Rudy makes a strange sound Alejandro never heared him make before.

"You would look even better with all my cum on your face", Rudy says, before getting some tisues for Aleajndro to clean up his hand.

"Next time." The two words are falling out of Alejandros mouth, from his brain directly to his mouth. Rudy looks down at him, looking unintressted at the offer.

"Next time", Rudy finally agrees after a while.

[oh-my-damn]

so ive always wanted to ask you this question but its so intrusive and personal i never could but like youre always so open about how naughty you are and youre more than down to go nasty on main from the way you answer certain anons and then theres your fics so here goes nothing… what is your body count mandy? Whats your number lol? You seem like quite the connoisseur in the field of sex and im just curious what makes one THAT? 😅😂

Listen

I dont believe in body counts because I dont believe that the amount of partners is what makes you good at sex. In fact, some of the worst sex ive had has been with the occasional one night stands ive had in my life. Some of the best have been with partners i felt safe with and could communicate well with.

That being said, I used to be very free with my sexuality, even though i would still consider myself a prude compared to the stuff i write (lol) because ive never done even half of what they get up to (ive never had a three some or proper anal, for example, even though theyre some of my kinks)

But I come from a family that is very open with their sexuality, especially my mom, which means its always been a very open conversation. Im not ashamed of my sexuality, i used to feel shame, but i found out later in life that things get easier if you just tell it like it is. So i speak openly about sex, masturbation and the fact that I watch, read and write porn.

That being said though, and this might shock some people, I have actually abstained from having sex with another person for almost 3 years (itll be 3 in January lol)

I had a situationship about 3 years back (the last guy i fucked) and I just woke up one morning and decided that the next time I sleep with someone its going to be someone i truly care about and who truly cares about me, because I'm done with seeking physical pleasure that doesnt feel intimate on a deeper level. After that, I also took a break from dating because I got into law school and wanted to focus on that. I used to get very clingy in relationships and then I would lose feelings in the blink of an eye which isnt healthy or good for neither me nor the other person.

So since then, Ive only masturbated lol. Im still waiting until I meet someone who deserves me in that way, and I havent met that person yet.

So yeah. I used to have more casual sex in the past but as I matured I realized that sex shouldnt be driving my decisions or behavior because sex does not equal intimacy and some of my best sexual experiences have been so because of the feelings and intimacy that came with it.

So for now i just play with myself and write really dirty things for you guys to read so you too can play with and enjoy yourselves 😌😌

[raidenloml]

question 15 for your ocs? 👀

15. who is your OC’s best friend?

grinning from ear to ear (see image below) ready to answer this one with yap of the century....

Arsenic:

Link…. they havent seen each other for a while since arsenic joined his now ex-team but they were glued to each other in school but kinda just drifted apart…. he hasn’t really felt the same connection with anyone else he met (HES GAY!!! ahem anyway) but he probably does have some people from the competitive circles to hang out with (up until the Incident (trademark copyright etc etc raidenloml) after which he felt that he couldnt hang out with those circles out of shame…) he gets better after reconnecting with Link because they did talk from time to time but suddenly Arsenic was unemployed with all of the time in the world yk

Link:

(evil grin) the bestfriendship with Arsenic is in fact mutual… he really admires him but other than Arsenic he doesn’t have very close friends (yet), like he would probably be friendly with customers who are passionate about the repairs he does for them but hes a really private person in general. He does end up becoming friends with a rival team on accident when the second in command becomes his apprentice.. Link plays anonymously so everyone is very much clueless abt his true identity

Zel:

She’s not best friends with anyone in the team but i’d imagine like a cousin/childhood friend from the town she was from, she got picked on for being so different as a child and would probably form a very strong bond with the people who stood up for her. In terms on in-team relationships i think that Zel would have a ton of fun with A4, especially as they end up doing lots of grizzco shifts together but because of A4’s like inability to communicate with others well Zel would worry a lot about if she actually liked her and didnt see her as an annoyance 😭

A4:

A4 has an octarian friendgroup outside of the team, shes especially close with Fern and Violet as she (insert lore im not sure about cuz idk Fern and Violet lore uhhhh Fern was also in military with her maybe???) but yeah she’s also pretty fond of Zel because she views her as VERY hardworking and respects her a lot for that even though she might not show it well. Zel was also the one to introduce her to inkling/splatlands culture and the splatsville community where A4 ends up reconnecting with Fern

[doodle17]

Did you ever say the story on Raz proposing to lili? If you haven’t, can you tell it

OMG I HAVENT YET ABSLSJSKSBKS

Part of the reason I guess, is I kind of wanted to get an ask like this for it actually lol. Cause at the time, I felt like I was post to much Raz 'n Lili stuff so I took a break. So I guess I'll tell it here now!

Basically, Raz was technically still on Camp Councelor duty, but it was late at night, most of the campers were asleep, so he invited Lili over to hang out. (At least that's what she thought 👀)

The two just quietly wondered around the camp, talking about all the summers they spent there, and when they first met. To which Lili started calling him "tree sitter" jokingly for most of the night. Although she did get suspicious of Raz, wondering why he was suddenly feeling so nostalgic.

"Just thought it'd be fun to do while we're here." He'd keep saying, which irritated her a bit, because she was 99% sure this was an elaborate scheme to prank her. So she just shrugged it off. She could just beat him up for it after, anyways.

Later that night, the two sat together on the docks by the lake, which made Raz bring up the asylum.

"Oh, yeah. I remember that place." Lili said looking up thoughtfully. "Shame it's off limits now, huh?"

"Yeah, heh. Remember what happened there?" He asked her.

"HA, Yeah. You got ambushed with sneezing powder and blew your brains out."

"And...?" He asked expectantly.

"And.... what?" She said bluntly.

Raz looked surprised and laughed nervously.

"It's also where we had our first kiss? Don't you remember?"

Lili did, in fact, remember. She rested chin on her knee longingly.

"Of course I remember, jerk! It was only one of the happiest moments of my life!"

Raz laughed, putting an arm around Lili.

"Don't get to sappy on me just yet Agent Zanotto! I still have one more question to ask you." You could tell from his voice he was obviously trying to hide a smile. Lili sighed heavily and turned to face him. "Alright, what is it?"

Raz was trying his best to hide his excitement, but he couldn't help but have the biggest grin on his face. He propped on leg on the dock, and let the other dangle over the water. He took her hand and let out a deep breath.

"Agent Lili Martindale Zanotto," He began. "What the hell-" Lili whispered, as she was struck with a sudden realization.

"You, who have gone on countless missions with me, saved my ass way to many times to count, and has dealt with my crazy family for many years..." He laughed to himself a bit, before clearing his throat and resuming his serious speech.

"Anyways, I know that this probably isn't exactly the place you would want me to ask you this, and I know for a fact you're probably going to kick my ass for it, but..." He wasn't even trying to hide his smile this time.

"Agent Lili, would you be willing to spend the rest of your life as my forever partner? Will you become Agent Lili 'Aquato'?" He looked to her expectedly, with a slight smile on his face.

She stared at him. She looked frozen, her eyes wide and her mouth agape. Raz furrowed his brow.

"Lili?... Are you alrig-"

"YES" She interrupted.

"Like- Yes you're alright or-"

"YES I'LL MARRY YOU!" She proceeded to tackle him, knocking the wind out of Raz.

"HOLY SHIT- LILI-"

They both ended up falling in the lake lol. And waking up a few campers and Coach so that was fun. But Yeah! That's the storyyy 😬👍

Im probably gonna draw some of the scenes eventually if I feel like it, but for now, here's the proposal story :)