#shakespeare was shakespeare deal with it

[shredsandpatches]

A few days ago I got into it on twitter with a Shakespeare truther whose main argument was "Shakespeare couldn't have written the plays attributed to him because the author of the plays was clearly an absolute expert in the law, hawking, and the specific layout of Windsor Forest as well as fluent in French and Italian, and there is no way Shakespeare could have picked up that expertise anywhere because they don't teach those things in grammar school and of course he was a real expert and not someone who knew enough terminology to bullshit his way through a couple of lines of dialogue convincingly."

Anyway I'm writing some fic now that is apparently going to convince someone I am an experienced alchemist.

[shredsandpatches]

I wouldn't say people other than Ben Jonson actually leveled that criticism against Shakespeare during his lifetime, to be fair. Professional playwrights were, almost universally, middle-class, and some of them attended university but not all of them did. Robert Greene's famous critique of Shakespeare as an "upstart crow" mostly focuses on his status as an actor with the nerve to write plays (and borrow heavily from colleagues). Even Jonson wasn't really criticizing him for his social class or his level of formal education--Jonson was himself a middle-class person, the stepson of a bricklayer, with a grammar school education and no university experience (he was accepted to Cambridge but couldn't afford to go). He had more classical learning than Shakespeare, but he was self-taught and I think that's why he's so prickly about Shakespeare's popularity. He worked hard to be as learned as he was and yet audiences always liked Shakespeare more, even though Shakespeare's classical allusions weren't as elaborate as his and he didn't even follow the neoclassical unities!

It is, however, the case that writers shortly after Shakespeare do tend to treat him as a sort of untutored genius who depicts a lot of things wrongly as well as not following the unities--this is true even in positive depictions (Milton famously praises "sweetest Shakespeare, fancy's child, / Warbling his native woodnotes wild" and implicitly contrasts him with Jonson's learning). And, like. It's true that Shakespeare didn't know much about court culture, which is something that comes up a lot in this kind of discussion -- neither do most early modern playwrights! (This is also why nobody in Shakespeare's time would have suspect the author to be aristocratic.) He's not an expert in, say, sailing or the law and he isn't fluent in multiple European languages. And that's fine, that's not why we perform or read Shakespeare. The idea that Shakespeare had all these areas of knowledge that it would be weird for someone of his social class to have access to didn't come about until much later, after people were living in a culture different enough from early modern England.

But I mostly think Shakespeare would find it hilarious that ANY English literature is taught in schools. What's wrong with kids these days? Can't they read Latin?

"The curse of the Pharaoh" trope is born from modern Egyptology and not part of ancient Egyptian beliefs, but I think the Pharaohs would really dig it.

"Fuck yeah I'm gonna curse whoever disturbs my afterlife! How fucking dare they?!"

[hamletthedane]

Shakespeare: I will create two teenage characters who are explicitly proto-postmodern examinations of the nature of character and fate within fictional narrative. I am their creator and - like their parents within the narrative - I exercise complete control over their fates, no matter how much they struggle against it. They are born like Athena from my mind and doomed to die by my pen, by my complicity in the narrative negligence of them, by my own actions and wishes-

Actor: cool, what's their names?

Shakespeare, father of twins named Judith and Hamnet: uhh…. Juliet and Hamlet.

[strawlessandbraless]

‘Caesar? I hardly know her!’ - Marcus Brutus after he stabbed his friend probably

[haitianempress]

"Another supernatural story? Do you have any normal life stories?"

Well why are y'all letting them flop?? They are literally the least liked stories on the app. And the reactions to 7 Brothers was cold-blooded lmao no wonder why they're not releasing that much "normal stories."

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

To elaborate more on the Pesterquest stuff -

Alternia is a hell world. It's shitty to live in, even if you're a highblood, unless you fit a very specific mold of person AND are lucky enough to be born of a high caste. Every troll character we care about is, in some way, fucked over by their relationship to their society; Eridan and Vriska get it the worst, having been forced to participate in the murdering side of things since they were young, but every lowblood is screwed and every highblood is made worse even just by their passive participation. Kanaya becomes less sympathetic because she seems completely at peace with the society she grew up in, and Feferi wants to enforce casteism, even if it's of a different flavor. Gamzee and Equius both hold genuinely casteist beliefs and attitudes, which slip out and alienate them from the people they care about.

Putting a friendship simulator into the middle of all this is... a choice, I guess. I'm not going to begrudge anyone for wanting that or liking that, but it's going to be inherently at odds with what Alternia is and is meant to represent, and thus, fundamentally at odds with many of the characters' arcs and even basic personality traits, so heavily are they influenced by the shit society they grew up in.

For a non-Eridan example, Karkat loathes himself in massive part because his society loathes him. He's kill-on-sight and lives in daily terror of death. He wears a symbol at all because not having one marks him as even more of a freak, even though he knows that that symbol is connected to the empire's biggest rebel, whose footsteps he is expected to follow. The reason he's so obsessed with being leader-y and earning his teammates' reapect, or the respect of anybody, is because he's so deeply insecure about whether or not he even deserves to exist.

If you soften Alternia to the point you can write a lighthearted friendship simulator in it, then that characterization... goes away. Karkat is no longer motivated by deep, overwhelming insecurities, which drive him to idolize the society that deems him unworthy, mistakenly believing that if he can find validation in that society, he'll feel less bad about himself. Instead, Karkat is just kind of an asshole!

It's the same way with Eridan. He and Karkat are equal and opposite in this way - while Karkat is marked for death by his society, Eridan belongs to the extremely privileged caste of sea dweller royalty - even moreso than Feferi, as Feferi is slated to be murdered by the Condesce as soon as she comes of age (and her ridiculous optimism is likely something she cultivated in outright defiance of this fate). But it turns out that being a sea dweller sucks shit, too, if you aren't the extremely niche type of person that society deems "correct."

Eridan is not actually casteist and genuinely likes his land dweller friends - and this is unacceptible. Not only that, but smaller "unacceptible" offenses are wrapped up in big ones - despite not liking murder and feeling guilty about it, murder is objectively the correct thing for Eridan to be doing, constantly, to the point of it being "all [he's] ever done practically," because if he doesn't fulfil the duty of his bloodline to be murdering lusii (and by extension, their charges, who are culled when their lusii die), EVERYBODY dies. The constant push-pull of trauma, societal expectations and obligations, the fate of the species, and the fact that he is inherently not the "right" kind of person for his society, are pretty much his entire character. He's basically a walking ball of anxiety and emotional turmoil.

So, again, if you soften Alternia to the point where you can write a story about Eridan wanting to see Shrek in a public theater (something he would not actually be able to peacefully do in canon Alternia - at least not without taking off his cape, hiding his fins, and going anonblood - as sea dwellers are considered ridiculously hostile to the point even Gamzee's nervous about being on the beach for too long), Eridan ends up being just kind of an asshole!

Pesterquest!Eridan is, and I cannot stress this enough, fundamentally not the same guy as canon Eridan. They have practically nothing in common, from the fact that PQ!Eridan is willing to do something for leisure, to the fact that he isn't widely feared and the movie theater doesn't empty out in a panic when he turns up, even down to the fact that he likes femme fashion (canon Eridan goes to Lengths to lean into masc fashion) and Shrek (canon Eridan is a hipster). Hell, even the fact that PQ!Eridan SMILES is a massive deviation from canon!Eridan, who has never once been depicted smiling, and probably hasn't for many sweeps.

Also that he has that much beef with Sollux when, canonically, the two had a lukewarm mutual dislike and didn't even bother interacting until Feferi was added to the mix and Eridan became mad that Sollux was dating her. He wasn't even casteist about him until then, and after, even Sollux and Feferi don't think he's casteist, they just think he's ashenflirting so he can get into a quad with Feferi. Like come on, if you're going to feature another troll in Eridan's route, 1) make it be Karkat, and 2) have Eridan cheat on you the whole time with Karkat like he does to Feferi.

Eridan is just overall a wild choice in a friendship sim - I can't even blame them for just writing an OC and putting an Eridan skin on top - because societally, Eridan isn't even supposed to have non-sea dweller friends. The sea dweller/land dweller race war is something the Condesce deliberately put into place in order to keep land dwelling nobility in line, and Equius cites it as one of the reasons he never got along with Eridan. Like, the very fact that Eridan talks to two land dwellers on friendly terms (Kanaya and Karkat) is a MASSIVE deviation from what he's "supposed" to be like, and a huge hint that he's not as casteist as he'd like to appear. You are genuinely hundreds, if not thousands, of times likelier to end an encounter with Eridan either orphaned or dead than as his friend. He's an unstable maniac, and there's a reason so many members of his team don't like him even though he's legitimately not casteist and they mostly seem aware of it (nobody really complains about or even notices Eridan's casteism by the time they're on the meteor - his contradictions are really obvious, and it's likely that they've more or less realized that he's full of shit).

Again, I don't begrudge anybody for wanting or liking PQ. Who cares, really. I'm just saying that as a canon discussion blog, there's not really any place for PQ because it's so far removed from canon that, like, there's not really anything meaningful to discuss about it. The setting and characters in PQ are fundamentally divested from canon, and not even in an AU way. And it's totally fine if that's what you like, but, yeah, like.

Was Eridan written well (where "well" = accurate to canon): no. Maybe he's fine as an OC with an Eridan Minecraft skin slapped on, but that's not my beautiful son, that's not my baby boy.

What did they get wrong about Eridan (where "wrong" = inaccurate to canon): all.

What route would I have written for Eridan: he shoots you with a gun and you die. And then maybe cheats on you with Karkat

[importantbreadgardener]

silly little kristen & gertie scrapbook !

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

shitty modern macbeth au where instead of witches modern!mac has one of those dumb horoscope apps and it keeps being weirdly accurate so he listens to what it tells him to do up to and including murdering his boss

[usefulquotes7]

I don’t have any energy to ask or argue about your ignoring anymore.

[tell-them-the-north-remembers]

You are so strongly in my purpose bred

That all the world besides methinks they're dead.

-William Shakespeare, Sonnet 112

[haxyr3]

Random Useless fact about Russian

Did you know the famous Shakespeare quote "A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!" gets a bit of a discount in Russian?

In English, Richard III is willing to offer his entire kingdom for a steed. But in Russian, the translation is "Konya! Konya! Poltsarstva za konya!" which literally means "Horse! Horse! Half a kingdom for a horse!"

Seems like in Russian, the king is either not as desperate... or maybe just a better negotiator

Коня! Коня! Полцарства за коня!

Полцарства = half of my kingdom.

[goldonion]

Find Me Here, with my thick fuckin Skull

the manners in which people leave our lives isn't always clear cut

the manners in which friends can fall apart isn't always hard and fast often times people come into our lives and leave in much the same manner slowly so slowly

much like TS Eliot said "Not with a bang, but with a whimper"

Sometimes we lose things all at once and sometimes we wake up and turn around and wonder

What became of this bridge in the time since i last crossed it? When did the ropes start to fray? The planks have loosened and some are gone making it harder if not impossible to meet you in the middle I cannot follow you on this journey maybe someday there'll be another bridge or a new way forward but for now I've got to let go your nihilistic apathy wounds me- the harder i try to make you see

the light will always be there even when you choose to ignore it look to the light or not, thou that i know doesn't knowest thine, you may doubt the stars are fire and you may doubt truth to be a liar you doubt that your voice matters

what a fickle thing, hope is you must find a way to carry it shield it and nurture it without smothering it

know that i will always love the friendship we had and you will always have been a part of my life but i simply cannot sit idly by while you choose paths that perpetuate harm in the unknown name of fears and unhealed wounds I'm not waiting in the wings any longer so maybe I'll see you when the show is over

[freytful]

Important lore found : Hobs fave Marlowe also made a deal with Dream

[butterflywithsass]

Things I Wish I knew living on my own

This is gonna be pretty short at the moment (I'll add more later) because I haven't been living on my own for very long and I think there's still plenty that I still have to figure out. I'm also drunk as I write this so this might be rambling.

This is gonna be chock full of really obvious stuff for most people but stuff that really confused or stressed me out when I did it. It's also gonna have that obvious stuff that's not so obvious because no one really talks about it until you are on your own and you haven't the first idea how to start.

First things first. Money. You're gonna need it, so look up a bank that is in your area and look into the process of setting up an account. Some banks have this online, sometimes you need to walk into the bank and do it in person. In both cases, make sure you have a passport, birth certificate, or other ID on you, as literally everything you know about your financial state prior to this. Ask your parents if you need to, or someone who knows this, because they are gonna ask a lot of questions. Once you've got the account set up make sure to confirm your ID. I set up an account online, and since I forgot to do this step, I have now had my account deactivated and I need to start all over again. Don't be like me.

If you're in a foreign country like me, make sure you understand how the currency works, and set up a method to transfer funds without having to pay the tax every time. Set up an app like Wise or something similar so people can transfer you money and you can move it to your bank account. Make sure you have a rough idea of how much something is worth in each currency. I'm still adjusting to using pounds, and things would look really cheap until I realized that a pound is worth slightly more than a dollar.

Services. I mean stuff like wifi and tv and stuff. If you're a student, than your wifi is fine, just make sure you set it up right. Euroroam is a bitch, so make sure you google how to do it right and just follow it step by step. Ask for help. Just ask someone. I'm so serious. Another thing I'm struggling with is TV. In the UK you have to have a license for BBC iplayer. Don't listen to your British friends when they say you don't need it. You do. If you don't have it you will get prosecuted. I don't wanna get prosecuted. It's super easy, even if it's kinda expensive, and hey, you get access to everything BBC. Just google tvl.co.uk and something will turn up. You can use that super handy bank card you got when you signed up for the bank account.

Transport. buses, trains and shit. First of all, make sure you download all the apps and inform yourself on how they work. It's gonna be confusing especially if your an American country hick like me so nows the time to learn. Get the maps. Get the bus schedules and routes. Pin them on your wall. Also, There's often some super cool discounts you can get if you sign up. Where I am in Scotland at the moment there's such a thing as a YoungScot Card, where you can get bus fair free if you're under 22. If you're not in Scotland, chances are there is something like that if you look. Transport can add up. Don't get Uber or a Taxi unless it's your only option, in which case, GET THE UBER. It's better to pay a butload of money for transport than be stranded somewhere alone. Your safety is more important than money.

Printers. You will need them. Often, there will be documents that you need to sign on paper, and so a printer will be needed. Google places where you can get things printed. If you are a student, make figuring out how to print things at your campus library a priority. I'm about to invest in my own printer just so I can skip this process because it's exhausting.

Voting. Just because you're not in your own country, doesn't mean you shouldn't vote. I'm from America, and care very much about the results of the next presidential election. If you're already registered to vote, try and get an absentee ballot.

Which brings me to mail. Get some stamps, and make sure they are the right ones. There will be postcard stamps, and mail stamps, and international stamps. Get the international letter stamps for your ballot and put them on because mailing is not paid for outside of the US. Then fucking mail it! (I'm swearing at myself so I remember to do this part when I'm sober)

Phone number. You will need a new one. Get an Esim card (should be in your settings if you have an iPhone) Make sure your friends have your new number and test it out to make sure it works when you're in a new country. One thing about Europe, is that the old buildings really suck for phone reception. Also, if you want to make this simpler and can't remember numbers very well, use Whatsapp or Instagram to message people.

Mess. You may go into this with certain ideas of granduer when it comes to personal organization. Be real. You won't be any more organized or tidy on your own than you were with other people. Just make sure that the essentials are accounted for and forgive yourself for the rest. Keep a drawer or a basket for all that important shit like bank statements or that letter that says they're opening an investigation because you haven't bought a tv license so it's all in one place and you don't lose anything. If it's urgent, pin it on your wall (get a bulletin board for this). Do your laundry. If you have your own washing machine and dryer, good for you. I don't, so figure out how the system works with the communal washers and get on that. Once again ask for help. Wash your sheets. Wash your pillowcases. WASH YOURSELF.

Hygiene. I hate it too, but it will make you feel better about yourself if you are clean and your teeth are brushed. This is the first thing to go when you feel in a slump. I know. I hate showers. I hate brushing my teeth, but not doing it makes my self-esteem go down the drain and my depression goes on a victory lap. Just do it. If you can't do anything else on this list, or you feel like everything is too overwhelming, do this. It will make a lot of other things feel doable.

Food. Okay, scratch that. This might be the most important thing. I am currently making a late night dinner of dried mangos and wine because I didn't have the motivation do get dinner tonight which is a prime example of what not to do. Because now I'm drunk and hungry. Get a fucking fridge! Get a microwave! Go to the grocery store and buy food. Even if it's ramen or mac and cheese. At least it's food. At this point, don't worry about eating healthy, just eat. Since I'm not allowed a mini fridge or a microwave, I have to time my meals so I get into the dining hall on time which results in this... So if you're in a similar case, set alarms for meal times, and GO TO THEM! If you miss it. Find a place that has cheap takeout that you will eat as a fall back option.

Groceries. Find a grocery store that has the things you need, and see what kind of membership or regular discounts you can get. You will need it. Don't worry about buying too much food, or buying too much junk food. If you're gonna overspend on something, better it be this and not something else. Eventually, you will get a sense of what you actually like to eat and what you don't. But for now, don't be afraid to buy something just to try it because it might become your new favorite food. Make a running list on your phone of what you need to buy and don't worry about overbuying. If you buy something you don't eat or don't want, give it away! Your neighbors or classmates or friends might want it and food is always a good way to meet people and form connections. At my old school, I became known as the one who would always have a bag of storebought cookies on me in class if anyone was hungry and didn't have any other options. I was proud of that reputation.

Don't restrict your space. It can get easy to walk the same path every day, and never venture outside of the area you know well. But every so often, try and use that bus pass you got, and go a little further afield. Just wander. You don't have to have a goal. Just explore. Living in a new place is the perfect time to do this. I recently ended up in a random church just because the gate was unlocked and the door was open. I ended up accidentally eavesdropping on a late night discussion of eleventh-century catholic manuscripts or something I can't remember and came home with a pamphlet for the catholic church I'm never going to join but it was an experience. Make awkward conversations with the people you haven't met before because maybe you'll end up crushing really hard for her even though she's straight and has a boyfriend and you'll spend the next week hopelessly pining but at least it will be something to mark the passing of time, creeping at this petty pace from day to day. Maybe the way she describes how she's learning to dissect cadavers and the way her eyebrows tilt will inspire you.

It's okay to be lonely. It's hard to adjust to living in a new place. Especially if you're a student at a new school. It may feel like everyone is making friends but you. That may be true. You may find that your neighbor has already met a guy and they are really cute together, and they no longer really want to hang out with you. You may find that the person you connected with really well now longer remembers your name but that's okay. It is a superpower, knowing how to be comfortable on your own. It's something you must learn before you can make a lasting connection with anyone. Those people who are making friends so fast are doing it because they are afraid to be alone. You aren't afraid.

Don't overcomit. Sometimes, you might feel so guilty about not donating to a freind's program to help survivers of domestic abuse in africa that you offer to design a website for them. But yuu're swamped. You have three essays due next week and you need to have an opinion about Homer's portrayal of Ithaka and you're terrified every second you spend not working on your essays, so that yiu ccan't relax even during breaks because you're constantly thinking you're behind but now you have to design a website. Don't fucking do that, What were yoy thinking you fuckin idiot. Just give your freind the money and tell her you can't do it.

Keep in touch with people. Don't fall off the map. There are people you love who are still out there. Your gramma wants to know how you're doing so give them a call, but not when you're drunk that will just make her anxious. Call your freinds from your old school. Ask them how they're doing. When tey tell you they're going on a date be happy for them and don't think bout how single you are. Fuck.

Invest in your projects. Don't forget what you love. Join that Good Omens fanfiction group even though it's one of the few things that you're not obligated to do. Don;t forget your hobbies. Watch the thing that David Tennent was in even though you don't have any prior interest in true crime and watch yourself fall into another spiral of hyperfixation.

Read Shakespeare. Relate so hard. Spend an inordinate amount of time memorizing the Yoric soliquiy from Hamlet. Spend a fortune on tickets to see David Tennent play Macbeth in the west end. Let it be your light. The only thing you are looking forward too at the moment.

You'e on your forth glass of wine. You havent neber been this drunk before becuse you are a syupid American who has just moved to the Uk unserpivused. and you're stressing about exams. You were supposed to be working.

Goodbye!

[aaliymc]

I’m drowning in the waves of grief your absence brings, my lungs aren’t clear but my heart is hollow.