#sex-neutral

[midnight-soulless-system]

Going on a date with our sys partners today. Really excited. It's gonna be our first date!

Gonna go to an arcade and play a fuck ton of air hockey, and then we're going to go back to our house and cook some tacos.

[merely-a-caricature]

The Three Cultural Attitudes Towards Sex

Firstly, I’d like to state the difference between a political stance, cultural attitude, etc, and a personal stance on sex. A personal stance on sex refers to an individuals own feelings towards sexual interaction or sexual interaction as a concept. This is distinguished from political stances of sex which are attitudes towards sex in a broader more societal context rather than sexual interaction and how it relates to you personally. I have a post discussing the personal positions towards sex and one on sex-positive v.s. sex-favorable for more info

There are three attitudes towards sex on a cultural/societal level. These are sex-positive, sex-neutral, and sex-negative. These are not to be confused with the terms sex-favorable, sex-indifferent, or sex-averse/sex-repulsed

Starting off with sex-positive, it is defined by Oxford languages as “having or promoting an open, tolerant, or progressive attitude toward sex and sexuality”

The sex-positivity movement teaches that people should not be ashamed of their personal choices and preferences towards sex and advocates for acceptance of everyone’s choices so long as it is consensual

It also promotes open communication about sex in general, especially with one’s partner, and encourages sexual experimentation

Sex-positivity also emphasizes safe and consensual sex in addition to a comprehensive sex education so everyone can practice sex in this way

Examples of embodying sex-positivity include, exploring your fantasies, enjoying the sensations of your body, developing a positive relationship with your body and a healthy body image, setting boundaries, addressing unhealthy sexual patterns, and more

But sex-positive can be more than this. It can also include fighting for those in the sex industry and making sure their work is decriminalized. It can also focus on the portrayal of sex in the media.

Sex-positivity doesn’t mean increased sexual encounters or arousal, however, but an openness and non-judgmental towards sex and talking about sex

Moving onto sex-neutrality, there isn’t actually a whole lot on the internet about the subject (really only posts on here), so this will be pretty brief. Sex-neutrality basically is the belief that sex isn’t inherently good or bad. It attempts to move emphasis away from sex.

And lastly, sex-negative, also known as antisexualism, is, according to Wikipedia, defined as, “opposition or hostility towards sexual behavior and sexuality”. Like with sex-neutrality, I was unable to find many sources (besides discussions on various forums) about sex-negativity. Trying to find sources and research can lead to some weird things, so from this point forward, it’s technically my own words. Nevertheless, sex-negativity promotes sex as being evil, the root cause of all bad things in society, and something inherently disgusting and tainted. Essentially, sex-negativity is the anthesis of sex-positivity.

Hope this helped y’all! I just really wanted to post this since I can’t help but get a little irked when people use terms like sex-positive and sex-favorable interchangeably when they’re definitely not the same. I hope you learned something!

Sources:

(A)(A)(A)(A)

[strangerstilinski]

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 +𝟏𝟖

you're pleasure is so important to eddie. his one goal every time you fuck is to give you the most blinding, intense orgasm possible, but once he makes you cum all bets are off. that's when he really lets loose because then he's just chasing his own end. his whole weight comes down against you. crushes you beneath him and it's slick and warm with your combined sweat and his thrusts get wild, earth shatteringly hard. just plowing home in desperate search of release and it's so goddamn overstimulating, his hips slamming little ah ah ah's out of you with every frantic hump

you can practically feel his moans echoing in your skull, hardly dulled by his face buried in the pillows beneath you, his sweat-damp curls tickling at your face

and oh man.. thinking about him just pressing you so deep into the mattress. he's so sweaty. it's hard to keep ahold of him, your fingers scramble, nails biting into his slippery skin in an effort to keep him in your grasp. you can barely breathe, you're still winded from your orgasm and he's laying on top of you, he's panting and whining into your neck, POUNDING into you so so desperately because shit he's close

his thrusts get erratic but simultaneously harder and so much more powerful. his balls are slapping your ass and it's sloppy. it's loud. he's making noises into your ear that have you losing your goddamned Mind

and when he finally cums? it's borderline fucking violent

his moan is practically a shout against the curve of your throat. he slams into you so hard that it pushes you up the mattress a little. it has him gripping your shoulder and hip to keep you in place m, to force your further onto his cock until you're nearly crying at how deep he is and, god, he just KEEPS CUMMING. tightening his arms and rutting into you with these little groans that practically vibrate your skull and-

[aro-bird]

Here's me begging people again to learn the difference because I've been seeing more and more people confuse these terms when discussing some things in the ace community:

Sex-Favorable - A descriptor that refers to a person's personal feelings about engaging in the act of sex that specifically refers to them being fine and even enthusiastic in engaging in sex and other sexual acts. Often confused by some as Sex-Positivity.

Sex-Positive - A moral or political position that refers to a positive outlook on sex as something positive and something that should not be shamed for any consenting persons regardless of their own personal feelings towards sexual acts on themselves.

Sex-Indifferent - A descriptor that refers to a person's personal feelings about engaging in the act of sex that specifically refers to them being indifferent in engaging in sex and other sexual acts.

Sex-Neutral - A moral or political position that refers to an indifferent outlook on sex. They may not have strong feelings about it one way or another.

Sex-Averse - A descriptor that refers to a person's personal feelings about engaging in the act of sex that specifically refers to them being averse in engaging in sex and other sexual acts. Often confused by some as sex-repulsion.

Sex-Repulsed - A descriptor that refers to a person's personal feelings about engaging in the act of sex that specifically refers to them being repulsed or disgusted by thoughts or material related to sex. This has no bearing on their own political/moral position on sex. Often confused by some as Sex-Aversion or even Sex-Negativity.

Sex-Negative - A moral or political position that refers to a negative view on sex as something negative and something that should be forbidden and only be a means of procreation. Some people who are sex-negative may only view it as a way to procreate so people who engage in the activity without any plans of procreation (and especially members of the queer community) may be deemed as immoral or even evil.

If we're going to have proper discussions of these things, please please please can we use the proper terms. I need to stop feeling fight or flight whenever I see someone trying to vent about "some rude sex-positive aces" or see someone proclaim that they're "sex-negative" like I'm serious. I keep on having to double-take whenever I have to read posts and discussions because of this.

[cuntphoric]

gojo is all about giving attention to you and all the right places! kissing you slow, taking time with each part of your body, treating every inch of you like it's his favorite thing to touch - he just LOVES worshiping you. and when it comes to cumming, he's all about making sure you're satisfied first, always making sure you're the one who's taken care of before he lets go. after, he'll hold you close, running his hands over you to massage you, his cock still throbbing against you as he pulls you deeper into the hug, soft and tender, like he's not just giving you just his body but all of him.

[allurilove]

Yandere Manager x singer you

Rated 18 + — mature short content !

Includes: yandere male manager x gender neutral singer reader, he’s secretly pining after you, your own little stalker, forbidden romance ig, male masturbation, takes pics of you sleeping, non con touching.

You met your yandere manager at the bar. You had been a part of a small band that never really made it big, but you always had shone brighter than the rest. You were magnetic, already having that star potential, and happened to sit right next to the man who worked for one of the best record companies. He just got off work, his sleeves pushed up above his elbow, and his glasses folded neatly next to him. He never really liked to drink, he was a different person when he did, but today was a special occasion. You were here. He already knew who you were, and he used a second low-key instagram account to see your stuff. He glanced at you. Your get-up was cute. He assumed that you came back from a concert or party, as there was a bit of confetti in your hair. You wore minimal and possibly sweat-proof makeup, and your eyes were striking with the black eyeliner.

Your manager sort of fell for you the first time he met you. It wasn’t easy to catch his attention, but you managed to do it. He had slid you his business card, paid for the rest of your drinks, and put on his best speech to convince you to sign with him. You became a solo artist in the blink of an eye, your singles and albums making it to the top forty, and you had the fame you wanted for so long. It just came with the price of having a stalker. As a manager, he had your location at all times. For safety purposes… of course. He threw a cap on, tiptoeing around the city to spy on you and your friends.

Your manager was responsible for your fan club. He would never tell you this, because it was simply embarrassing to admit, but he made a blog to gush about you. ‘A hundred reasons why you should stan y/n’ was the beginning of his secret outlet. He was the one that started the #manager and y/n would be cute hashtag on twitter, uploading a bunch of pictures of you and him having a ‘sweet’ moment. He spent hours scouring the internet to watch countless of edits of you, and he even made some himself. His cold and methodical demeanor would disappear the moment he was in the comfort of his home. He would lay in his bed, giggling and kicking his feet, twirling a piece of his hair as his eyes lit up at the sight of you on his screen.

Your manager acts like a helicopter parent. He’s always on your ass. He never texts you paragraphs or long sentences, so he could spam you and make sure you had definitely seen his messages.

“Where are you?”

“Out drinking again?”

“What happened to being responsible?”

“You have a show in two days.”

“I’ll be disappointed in you if you are drunk.”

“You better be at my house in two seconds.”

“Two seconds or I’m coming to get your ass.”

He liked you being drunk (only when you were around him). You would mumble and whine, his name on your lips constantly as you complained. And he got to be your hero for a while. He also forbids you from having any groupies. If you and him can’t fuck, then you can’t see anyone else. It was as simple as that. He couldn’t stomach the idea of you being with other people, and that’s why he had you at his apartment 24/7. When you were traveling for your shows, you best believe it that he was with you too. To him, it felt like you guys were practically married. Living together on the same bus, cooking together, sleeping near each other in close quarters. He would never cross the line when you were conscious; but when you were sleeping… it was free game.

The yandere manager took pictures of you. You were so worn out after your concerts, that you didn’t feel him moving your body. You trusted him because he gave you zero reasons not to. You trusted him enough that you didn’t expect him to start peeling off your clothes. He wanted his camera roll to be filled with your body. He gently put his hand on your thighs, squeezing the fat as he snapped a picture of you in your underwear. His fingers would sometimes find its way inside your mouth, subtly testing out your gag relax, and filming it for his pleasure. He flipped you onto your stomach, pushing your legs apart with his knee, and had his camera working hard to catch up with his thumb. He rapidly pressed against the button, trying to catch all the angles of your ass and sex.

Your manager touches his dick when you send him raw recordings of your voice. You were a night owl, your brain never shutting down until three a.m. and you sent him new songs you were working on. He plugged in his earbuds, lying back onto his bed, and hit play. He hummed the newest lyrics, his eyes closing as his hand slowly traveled down towards his crotch. He palmed himself, feeling his dick hardening in his grey sweatpants. He wanted you badly.

Your manager thought you were perfect, drop dead gorgeous and fucking hot. You have this sex appeal that makes his knees weak. He imagined you whispering the words to him: the heat of your voice warming the side of his face, your hand feeling up this tip, and wrapping around his long cock. Would you think that his dick was impressive? Would you be happy with how much cum that shoots out? Would you love it so much to gulp all of it down?

“Fuckin’ hell. Take it down your throat.”

“You love this don’t you? My big star.”

Your yandere manager wanted to sleep with you so badly. But he swore to himself to not get involved with another one of his clients. He groaned, his eyes opening to stare at his blank white ceiling, and his desperate cock softened in his hand. He hadn’t gotten any action lately, and he was oh so waiting to find the perfect moment to be with you.

Allure: extra stuff! idk i feel iffy about this fic

this is definitely reader and yandere managers text messages.

[everyones-favorite-butchboy]

just had the realization that when people say “i want you carnally” its not a fucked up pseudo-meme like ive been using it. there are people that actually mean it and actually have other people in their sexual fantasies. shocked and upset.

[lgbtlunaverse]

I've been wrestling with two beliefs I hold simultaneously but that I previously (incorrectly) thought were contradictory: that sexuality is inherently harmless, but also that specific kinds of sexual desire have been used to enact and justify grievous harm. The notion that men's sexuality is more important than women's consent, that white men's sexual access to white women must be protected from the "threat" of men of color, the idea that this specific kind of desire is so inherent to a proper society that if you have the wrong kind of sexuality you deserve to be shunned and harmed.

How can sexuality both be inherently harmless and measurably harmful?

Anyway, the answer is very easy, and part of why I feel like we should stop treating sex as something completely unlike other things and horniness as unlike all other emotions. Because I realized that, oh, right, this happens to other feelings too.

You know another feeling that is not inherently dangerous but is frequently used to enact and justify violence? Fear.

Fear is not inherently evil. Not even if it's irrational and your level of fear does not correspond to the level of danger you're actually in. In fact, irrational fears are such a common phenomenon we literally have a word for them: phobias. Which you are not evil for having. (Am I calling phobias the fear equivalnet of kinks? Kind of... I guess)

But fear and discomfort are used all the time to harm people. Let's say some random white woman is walking home late at night, and she notices a man is following her. This man might just be walking in the same direction by coincidence, but there's a small chance he's following her on purpose. It is quite natural for the mind to wander, and we frequently fear what we do not know. Discomfort or fear, in this situation, is neither inherently harmful nor unusual. However, if this white woman has been inundated her whole life with 'stranger danger' narratives and stories of women being brutally kidnapped, assaulted, and murdered by strangers. (Even though the vast majority of female victims are killed by someone they know, most often a romantic partner or family member) and she then, by the flash of a streetlight, spots that the man following her is black, and she has also been fed a narrative that black men are inherently violent and dangerous, that feeling of discomfort is enhanced and distorted until she believes she is in genuine danger and calls the police.

Statistically speaking, that guy really was just walking in the same direction, and is unlikely to be a threat. However she has now seriously endangered him, and justified it by the fact that she was scared.

A man justifying sexual assault because he couldn't help it, he was just so attracted to her. (And she led him on! She was barely dressed!) Is weaponizing his horniness in exactly the same way as people who call the authoroties on a disabled homeless person because they were "acting weird" are weaponizing their fear.

And all emotions can be weaponized this way. Anger is used to justify domestic violence ("you shouldn't have provoked me") Happiness and fun is used to jeoparidize safety (the last 30 years of olympic games have had a death toll among construction workers of over 116. The 2022 world cup alone has an officially admitted death count of 40, but the real cost is likely in the hundreds) disgust is used so often it's hard to restrict it to a single example (queerphobia, ableism, fatphobia, racism, misogyny, it's everywhere)

Sexual desire is just one way among many where the comfort of the powerful is valued above the safety of the opressed. It's not unique, but instead painfully common. And it's useful to keep this in mind not to devalue it or deny it's happening, but because we can borrow tactics and learn from similar situations rather than getting stuck on endless debates on whether porn is intrinsically evil or not, which will get us nowhere.

[inchidentally]

something about how Lando repeatedly has said how he and Oscar are the strongest teammate pairing and work together better than any other

and how Oscar always puts the burden of responsibility for a result on himself alone and sees Lando and the team as the people he's proving himself to

and how Lando celebrates with the team by being passed around to each of them like a long wished-for newborn baby and Oscar celebrates by ducking his head and immersing himself into the team's masses and looking for what Lando's doing

Lando embodies the team's - and Oscar's - emotions; Oscar absorbs the team's and Lando's emotions

how Lando says he deals with tough times by reminding himself of the good times and looking forward to them

and Oscar says he views success in terms of having it "on the books" and deals with tough times by an onward and upward attitude

how Lando has gone through so much to stay with McLaren and Oscar went through so much just to get to McLaren

and how neither of them even remotely skirt the issue and state that McLaren is where they are happy and where they plan to remain and "for many years to come" and "look forward to many more" and Lando saying "all these years" before realizing he and Oscar were only on their second season together.

how they weren't in any rush to turn their relationship into A Thing or a meme ship name and didn't force the friendship to happen until it felt comfortable because they had a job to do for the team and fundamentally had to avoid the Them of it all from interfering in that in any way - that they put the team first and Them second and look how that's resulted in them being what they'll tell you is the best partnership on the grid.

Lando being regularly misunderstood and vilified because his reaction to severe stress is emotional hyper-vulnerability, Oscar being misunderstood and vilified because his reaction to severe stress is to shut down and withdraw emotionally.

Lando is beloved but also infantilized. Oscar is respected but also dehumanized. Lando is loved and hated for his emotions and compensates by portraying himself as stupid or brainless so please don't think he's an asshole based on that one poorly worded quote. Oscar is admired and distrusted for his emotional regulation and compensates by saying he's just boring and self-deprecation so please don't see him as an evil robot just because that response was by rote instead of from the heart.

Lando openly says how he feels about team orders and conflicting results; Oscar says that's just how racing goes sometimes because everyone's out to win. Lando feels the highs and the lows in equal extremes because he needs to feel things; Oscar often withholds his visceral extremes because he needs to feel them when he feels safe. (which is why we only see That Smile on him when it's Lily, Lando, his mum and dad, and now winning the championship with McLaren)

their relationship formed with the absolutely least expectations and has followed not a single beat of PR advice and they don't post on social media when they hang out socially and they got their privacy door separating their drivers rooms away from everyone and sharing a hallway only with each other and they have their own private debriefs and agreed about the sprint swap without telling the team. they react to huge expectation races by staying glued together even during driver parades and down time despite being around each other all the rest of the race weekends. when a race doesn't have as much gravitas is when they feel happy going to separate groups.

people think Oscar getting awkward on camera and sticking to scripts will hurt Lando's feelings but the result is Lando beaming at him fondly and giggling. people think Lando wanting to spend paddock time with his many close friends on the grid will hurt Oscar's feelings but half the time Oscar is happily watching Lando with them (maybe more than half the time) or bringing up said friendship for no reason all on his own. or making an effort to get to know those guys specifically himself.

like idk there's just something about the extremes of fans on Lando and Oscar's respective sides so fully Not Getting the guy they claim to stan so hard for and it being proven most clearly by how they always expect the exact opposite reaction from their guy to Lando/Oscar respectively. they expect either bloodshed or PR overtime and instead it's just blurry footage of Lando and Oscar laughing while waiting for a private jet or a story of them sulking at Alex for beating them at a board game or a post race video where they were already laughing with each other before realizing the camera was on and they were rolling. in the best possible way it feels like they just look at these people chewing concrete "on their behalf" and laugh in that creepy perfectly matched giggle they do sometimes.

[kitty-safe-space]

Friendly reminder you're still valid and you're not "weird" if you:

dont have/dont want a cg

wear/want to wear diapers in a sfw way

wear/want to wear a collar or tail/ears in a sfw way

dont have/want any little gear

dont use any community labels

are still figuring out your regression

you have a fully adult life outside of agere (e.g if you are sexually active, drink, work, etc)

dont fit the stereotype of the "agere aesthetic"

aren't white, skinny, neurotypical, etc.

are a boy, nonbinary, trans, etc

are lgbt+ in general

are disabled and/or mentally ill

get sad/struggle with your mental health while regressing

regress because of/to deal with trauma

your regression is yours, you know yourself, and as long as you're staying safe and not hurting anyone, no one can tell you otherwise.

Dni: lgbt+ exclusionists, r/adfems, ns/fw, e/d, s/h or discourse blogs, pr0ship, anti-agere/petre/sfw cglre or if you call people cringe because of their interests.

[clowndensation]

the thing about bg3 being so massively popular is that 1. on a personal level that's fun, because games i like doing well is cool to see :) 2. by law of numbers, i KNOW there's a lot of gamer bros out there trying out the hot new tactics rpg, who are now getting blasted from every direction by all of their male companions propositioning them. which is something that can be so beautiful to imagine. if you're me.

[angelyuji]

Hehehe yandere Stan would lose his mind over his obsession touching themselves to the thought of him

OHHJMGGGOD STOP YES HE WOULD.

18+!!! minors dni!!!

tw // dubcon, non consensual watching, smut, kinda yandere if you squint

he would be sooo obsessed with watching you too. like ur in ur room and he’s peeking through door, jerking off with you, but the moment he hears you whimper his name ohmymgofodd bro

your hand works fast and you can feel yourself getting close. “stan…” you feel yourself whimper, eyes closed, imagining the old man’s hand instead of your own. “stan….” you can hear yourself get louder, lost in the thoughts of him.

“oh, sweetheart.” a very familiar, rough voice brings you out of your trance. your eyes fly open and stan pines is standing in front of your bed. you try to cover yourself, but stan grabs your foot and pulls you forward. you fall back and he holds you down, knees apart. “keep going, baby. i was enjoying the show.”

stan is definitely one for mirror sex too like he def forces you to watch as his cock presses into you or makes you look into the mirror as he touches you/makes you touch yourself idk.

[st0ne-arr0w]

Rough sex is great and free use is wonderful but low key, the best is waking up, rolling over, kissing your partner awake before slowly easing into eating them out. Gentle oral, my tongue being soft on them as they wake up. Planting gentle kisses, listening to soft moans and sighs early in the morning, and after they cum, making them coffee and holding them until it’s time to get up and get dressed for the day.

Just make sure to tease them publicly all day until you can roughfuck when you get home

[prttykittes]

haiii hello kitty<3 i hope chu are having a great day ! i would like to request something that has daddy kink with any of the bsd men hehe //// tysm luv 🌷

ヽ⁠(⁠*ﾟ⁠ｰﾟ⁠*⁠)⁠ﾉ — awh! Hello <3 here's your request! Here are three characters and sorry if it isn't good! (⁠灬⁠º⁠‿⁠º⁠灬⁠)⁠♡ — no problem luv ! (⁠〃ﾟ⁠3ﾟ⁠〃⁠)

๑ Dazai, Fukuzawa, Chuuya x GN!Reader [you/your]

— Synopsis:: While having sex with your loved, you slip out a word "daddy" your lover seems to like it maybe you developed them a new kink?

CW. daddy kink, marking, kissing, unprotected sex(dazai), protected sex(others), breeding kink, soft sex, riding, creampie, ass slapping.

A/N :: reader is dazai's part is Afab, in Fukuzawa has no genitals but mentions hole, in chuuya part is amab, so there's Afab, amab and just the word hole is mentioned! — written by a minor

[MASTERLIST] — (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）works all of them !

DAZAI OSAMU — ෆ⁠╹⁠ ⁠.̮⁠ ⁠╹⁠ෆ

His hands were gripping your hips, you were sure that your hips were going to bruise tomorrow or later now. His hot breath was fanning your ear, you could feel his dick moving inside of you. You reach down and rub your clit as he kisses your neck, sucking on your neck. "Ah!" He hits a spot inside of your warm dripping cunt. He smiles and continues to hit that spot with perfect aiming. "Daddy!" You cried as you rubbed your clit more faster, his movements stop briefly before he goes faster. Your screamed as you move your hands to his back, your nails dipped into his back. Your legs shaking, he was groaning. "Cum on daddy's cock" he whispers in your ear, you grip on his brown hair before you arch your back and cum all over his cock. He groans before letting his liquid inside of your pussy, he didn't wear a condom but in this moment you didn't care the pleasure was too much and your daddy was going to take care of you.

YUKICHI FUKUZAWA — ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

He was gently bouncing you, you gently played with his white hair. He had a pleasure look on his face, you moaned softly. He was so gently and loving towards you, he rubbed your hips while gently pinching your hips. "Your so good for me" He says, he kisses your neck and traces a heart on your thigh. You moaned as you ride his cock little bit more faster, he softly laughed and rubbed your hips. "Mmhm..Fukuzawa" you moaned, he kissed your neck before bouncing you slightly faster on his dick. The way he treated you was so nice, it made you feel good. "Your so gorgeous" he says, he rubs your nipple. You moan and his fingers twist and pull on your nipples. He was still gentle with you, you moaned and a word slipped out your mouth "Daddy.." you didn't hear yourself say that, his movements stopped but he continued his actions. He smiled and kissed chest, he stared to bounce you more faster on his dick. "Don't worry, sweetheart daddy is here for you." He says, your toe curls as his dick hits your spots inside of your hole.

CHUUYA NAKAHARA — ♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡

Some of his orange hair falls over his face, you move the hair out of his face. He gritted his teeth, your dick flopped as it hitted his stomach and your own. His hands tightly grip your ass as you continue bouncing on his cock, he groans. "Fuck— your still tight" he says, he slaps your ass as you moan and reach down to stroke your own cock while riding his. "Mmh.." you moan, he groaned. His dick hits your spot, your eyes widen and your dick spurts out pre-cum. Your shiny cum leaks out on his stomach, he continues to hit that spot inside of your hole. "AHh! Daddy!" You yelled out, you didn't hear yourself but he seemed to notice so he went faster. You moaned as your body jumped on top of his dick, he groans and he slams you down on his dick before his dick spurts out his liquid and your does the same.

[callahanisms]

apt.

unfortunately i don't really drink so i don't know any drinking games. so this fic is based on the song's ✨vibes✨

not beta read. first draft is my final draft mentality. uhhh based on promos and nothing else so if this becomes outdated next week i'm so sorry

pairing: ash x gender neutral! reader

word count: 2.1k words

accompanying bot: 🍻

You weren’t a heavy drinker. Not like you could be one anyways, considering you were deemed the designated sober friend for tonight. Not that you minded. You were more than cautious about drinking at a frat house. It was Essex’s only Asian frat and you had been invited by your friend Myung-Jun, or “MJ” as some of your friends call her. In all honesty, Essex had little diversity—an unshocking reality for 2021’s “Most Liberal College in America” which explains why Greek life was still mostly led by the historically white fraternities. The doors to the party were open to everyone because everyone at Essex liked to party.

Except your friends, for some reason.

You wanted to go with other people you know, outside of darling Myung-Jun. She was sweet and super into this guy at the frat and you didn’t want to end up third wheeling. But all your friends had other plans.

“There’s an event tonight at the antiracist research center. And as the events coordinator, I have to go. I organized it. I’ve been working on this for months!” is the excuse your friend Apinya gave you.

“I have homework.” was the excuse you got from three of your other friends.

“I have to stay at the lab to work on this report.” was Whitney’s reasoning.

“There’s an event at the KJ house tonight. Sorry.” Multiple of your friends were going to the KJ House tonight.

So essentially, it was just you and Myung-Jun and her friends, most of which you just met. And first meetings were always a little awkward, even at parties. You’re only nursing some Sprite in the red solo cup when Myung-Jun walks over, giggling. “(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” She says, her arm around the shoulders of a girl with shaggy dark hair, high cheekbones, and pouty lips wearing a denim jacket. “Oh my god! Are you having fun?”

“Yeah. I’m doing great.”

“You looked so lonely over here, so I thought I’d bring someone to keep you company!” She pats the girl’s shoulders. “(Y/N), this is Ash. She’s Talia’s friend.”

“Talia? Like…Talia Tran the philosophy major who already has an idea for what her capstone is going to be? That Talia Tran?” You ask.

“I mean…that’s one way to put it.” Your heart nearly stops hearing her voice. You can’t describe it exactly without letting someone else hear it. But her voice is warm, smooth and there’s a slight hint of a rasp. She clears her throat. Her cheeks are pink. “But yeah. Talia Tran. She’s cool.”

“You should’ve seen her! We taught her how to play APT. She can really hold her liquor!”

Ash shrugs. “I barely feel anything.”

“(Y/N) on the other hand, is a lightweight.”

“I-I’m not!” You feel your own face heat up with embarrassment. But it was true. A lightweight and depending on the day, you either got sleepy or really giggly. The first option didn’t exactly make drinking outside of your home or a friend’s place safe.

Myung-Jun looks between you two, smirking. “Ash is also single.”

Ash looks over at the slightly shorter girl. “Okay. Outing me as single already.”

Myung-Jun only giggles before walking away, leaving you alone with the attractive girl. She looks nice beneath the blue and purple lights of the fraternity house basement. “She does this a lot. When she’s drunk, she tries to matchmake. Unfortunately it actually seems to work.” You explain. It hasn’t worked so far, mostly because you didn’t want another situationship. Your last one ended pretty badly and left you laying in bed for the remainder of the year. It being winter probably didn’t help.

“How long have you two known each other?” Ash says, raising the volume of her voice so you can hear her over the loud music and people singing and dancing to it.

“Ring Ding Dong.”

Definitely fits the vibes.

Ash glances back, slowly moving towards you. The denim jacket is grazing your knuckles. She looks at you curiously with her eyes. “Since high school. She also ended up moving from the city to the suburbs like me. So we became friends in a school where everyone’s known each other since they were in diapers.” You also raise the volume of your voice as you talk to her.

“And you both went to Essex together? That’s cute.” Ash leans towards you, glancing down at your cup. “What’s your poison?”

“I prefer weed. A good edible. Not much of a drinker.” You take a sip. “It’s Sprite.”

“Honestly smart. I think I took too many shots of soju. I started hating the taste of yogurt.”

“That’s like the worst flavor!” You can’t stop the small laugh that leaves you and your lips from curling into a smile.

“It’s not. It’s very underrated. But honestly, I had enough for tonight.” She takes your cup and presses it to her lips.

If it was a man who did that, you would hate them immediately. But here was Ash, taking your cup and taking a sip of your Sprite. It was weirdly attractive, in a drunken sort of way. Of course, she might be a little tipsy, which would explain the lack of inhibition. Sober people usually don’t take other people’s drinks. “How do you know I didn’t mix it with anything?”

Ash looks at you up and down. “MJ told me you’re the designated sober friend for today.”

“That I am. But some people don’t like being sober friends.” You take the cup from her hand. You can’t help but admire how…relaxed she is. You’d probably be a bit of a mess if you weren’t sober. Some of these parties could be overwhelming. “Some sober friends end up more wasted than the people that brought them out.”

“Okay well…you’re not wrong. That’s happened on more than one occasion.” You finish up the Sprite and set the cup down on a flat surface. It wasn’t your house. They’d clean it up anyways.

“It smells too sweet down here.”

“That’s from all the people vaping inside.”

“Do you want to get some fresh air?”

Your heartbeat picks up a little bit. “Yeah. Sure.” You swallow your saliva, letting Ash take your hand and guide you through the dancing people, up the stairs, and out of the frat house.

Her hand was soft and the silver rings on her fingers were cool to the touch. You want to look at them more closely, feel the intricate designs and study them, ask her about how she got them, how long she’s been collecting jewelry. She was a silver girl it seems.

The air outside tastes better. It’s more crisp and you’re able to breathe without issue and needing to deeply inhale for some semblance of oxygen. But the air bites back against you through your thin clothes. Goosebumps form on your skin and you involuntarily shiver. It was supposed to be warm today. But you could never trust the weather app, could you?

“Now we can talk without yelling at each other.” She says, leaning against the wall of the house besides you.

“And breathe. Finally.” Your hand slides into the pocket of your pants and you could feel the joint inside of its tube. Pre-rolled of course. You didn’t have time to roll while working on your midterm papers. And you’re tempted to light it.

“So what are you studying?”

“Is that the question we’re starting off with?” You turn your head to look at her.

“It’s college. We all start with that question. What’s your name, what are your pronouns, where are you from, what are you majoring in.” Ash puts her hand out.

You roll your eyes. But you tell her anyway. Your name, your pronouns, where you’re from, what you’re majoring in at Essex. She doesn’t interrupt you, she just watches you with curious eyes. You fail to notice how her eyes glance down at your lips while you’re talking, too busy looking at other things because eye contact was uncomfortable. You soon end up going on a small tangent. About what, you don’t exactly remember because you mostly remember the biting chill of the wind.

“Sounds rough. I’m sorry your situationship was an asshole.”

You have to stop talking, looking at her. She’s looking at you with those big eyes of hers. Beneath the porch light, they look dark blue. Had you been talking about your situationship? “Yeah…I just…wish they were better.” You huff, crossing your arms over your chest. Your hands rub your upper arms, trying to get some friction going to warm yourself up.

Ash slowly slides her jacket off. “Here. Take it.”

“What? But aren’t you…” You look at what she’s wearing beneath the jacket. A baggy Depeche Mode shirt and a black compression shirt beneath. “Wouldn’t you also be cold?”

“I’m used to it.” She shrugs. “Come on. Take the jacket. Don’t be stubborn.”

The jacket does look cozy. So you take it, your fingers brushing against her own, and you place the jacket on your shoulders. “It’s a shame. If I was your situationship, I wouldn’t leave you for another average white guy.” She takes a step closer and you can feel her body heat.

“Really?” You raise your eyebrows. “I don’t know. People love average white guys. That’s the whole point of the white boy of the month trend!”

Ash clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “People are…shortsighted, I guess we’ll say.” Her hand cups your face. You blink. Shivers run down your spine. “They don’t realize they have someone awesome in front of them.”

“And…are you…” You lean closer. “Are you saying…you’re not shortsighted?”

“I’m just saying…I appreciate people as they are.”

Your brain can’t process the sudden physical sensation of warmth against your lips. Ash’s lips on yours, her hand holding your face in place so she can set a sensual rhythm. Your stomach churns, your heart feels like it’s going to burst from your rib cage. When you breathe in, you can smell the scent of bergamot and sweet oranges lingering on her clothes. It’s a little overwhelming actually.

The kiss itself is overwhelming.

You pull away, breathing heavy, face hot. You might collapse. Ash looks at you, your lips parted, and there’s a flash of disappointment in her face. “Shit. I’m sorry.” She says immediately, pulling back. You already miss her body heat. “I shouldn’t have assumed—”

“No! No!” You grab her other wrist and pull her back towards you. “I…Sorry. I just…I haven’t kissed someone in a while.” You swallow. “A-And…” Ash looks at you expectantly, but there’s a sad expectation reflecting in her eyes. It’s as if she’s expecting you to reject her.

Who would reject her?

“You’re the first person in a while. And I…I liked it.”

Those sad expectations leave her eyes, replaced with a sparkle that mixed hope and suggestion. “So…do you want ano—”

You kiss her again before she can finish her question. You add more pressure to the kiss and some more passion. Ash melts beneath your touch, pulling you closer with one hand resting on the side of your neck and the other resting at your hip. She enjoys that you taste of Sprite. Her teeth gently bite down on your bottom lip and pull, causing you to gasp. Your back stiffens from the shiver that runs up along it, your hands beginning to slide along Ash’s sides. Your other hand goes to the back of her neck, gently wrapping some of her hair around your finger.

Ash finally pulls away, her breathing heavy, her chest moving up and down. “Do you…want to get out of here?” She asks.

“I…” You think back to your friends. “I shouldn’t—”

“You absolutely should!”

Both you and Ash nearly jump. You both look, seeing Myung-Jun taking a hit from her vape and blowing. “MJ! H-How long have you been out here!” Your voice cracks as you speak, only furthering the embarrassment of getting caught making out with a girl you just met.

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt.” The Korean girl giggles. “Go have fun (Y/N). Just text me when you get back to our dorm. If you get back.” She raises her eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m…W-What about you? And being your sober friend?”

“(Y/N), I’m smarter than that. We have multiple sober friends. Besides, Kimberly and Bela are here. They can take care of me.”

You furrow your brows, thinking. “Since when…” You shake your head. “Okay. Fine. Text me updates okay?”

“Okay~” Myung-Jun winks at you, taking another hit from her vape and then sauntering back into the frat house.

You lean your head against the wall of the house, groaning a little bit. Ash can’t help but let out a small laugh. “Don’t look so embarrassed.” She says.

“I’m not embarrassed.” You look down at her.

“I think your face says differently.” Ash grabs your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours. And you let her pull you off the wall and take you back to her dorm.

You ended up submitting your paper late. Thank god for having a chill professor.

[sillysecretwriting]

Being somewhere on both aro and ace spectrums and having a partner is such an odd type of erasure. Like up until accidentally starting to date my current partner, I'd always just say "I don't really date" if people asked about my romantic life and just left it there. I knew that I was so rarely romantically attracted to people, it wasn't never, but the number of people I've been romantically attracted to in my entire life is maybe three? My partner is one of the three, so I ended up having this cute person that I'm romantically attracted to and now share large portions of my life with, but my identity hasn't changed. Our relationship is the rarity, not the normal for me, but now when people ask, and I tell them I have a partner, that larger portion of me that doesn't always understand why other people are so set on having a partner or why there's so much stigma around being single, is just erased in that person's eyes.

I was happy alone and didn't feel like anything was missing. I'm also happy with my partner. But I just hate that the aro (and ace) spectrum parts of my identity become invisible as soon as I mention my partner.