#sex mention warning

[our-transgender-experiences]

just question since i saw a post like "born to be a cute gay bottom forced to be a girl" and everyone was calling it fetishism and i just dont get it like genuinely and im kind of rethinking about my identity rn cuz i reacted to it initially as trans post and that masculinity isnt really like set in stone anyway, be the kind of boy you wanna be, go be what you want to be and everyone is calling it a fetish instead and i just dont get it. can you give me insight? im p sure im just being dumb

transgender is NOT a fetish, and fuck everyone who says it is

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Raph, about Mona Lisa: I’ve done the kinkiest shit with her.

Casey: Oh really? Like what?

Raph: Like holding hands!

Casey: …

Raph: And cuddling 🥰

[alice-the-demon]

Hell Tower Lore (Demons: classes and stages)

Ah, Hell... The place of damnation par excellence, full of people that didn't make the nicest choices when they were alive and/or have a very bad behaviour, ruled by 7 monsters that represents the famous 7 deadly sins and the worst of humanity.

Demons are creatures with animal-like behaviours that can be really dangerous depending on what kind of personality they have and on the powers that reflects the sin they represent, but can be defeated if exposed to the sun and they'll become a pile of dust. Pretty much like vampires.

When a person ends up in hell they either become an Imp or a Hell Animal:

Imps can be recognised by their "almost human" look: they have pointy ears, claws, fur, a long tail and horns (+ an extra feature that differs for each demon depending on what sin they represent), their way of acting is similar to cats. They're the weakest kind of Demons, people who in their earthly lives did some light yet bad things, like hurting someone else once (verbally or physically) or having done some controversial actions without redeeming themselves... In short, overall people that may seem okay but revealed to be problematic to have around. They can either transform into Angels when they get redeemed with the help of an Archangel, or in a Hell Animal if their behaviour/mindset gets worse during their stay in Hell.

Hell Animals are anthropomorphic creatures that have less of a human aspect and more of an, well, animal. They're people who, in their earthly lives, either hurt/abused someone else multiple times, contributed to a grave crime/genocide, have a very messed up mentality or somehow did all of the above. They're generally criminals who are better to avoid, they might even start a deadly fight if you accidentally bump into them. Although they can be very hotheaded and hard to reason with, they can become better and transform into an Imp... But most times these people can become so rotten that they spiral even deeper into their sin, to the point they transform into horrid beasts.

Hell Beasts are the final stage of Demons, they're monsters as big as houses and they're recognised as the most dangerous and mortal creatures in creation. On the contrary of the previous stages, the Beasts aren't capable of going back or redeeming, they've lost the last piece of humanity they had and become violent beings with their first thought in mind being attacking and/or eat anything they see. They live in the forest at the center of Hell, near to the castle where the 7 Deadly Sins live and away from the Imps and Hell Animal's city so that they don't end up mauled.

Demons are categorised in 7 classes and they all have different powers as I'll show here.

(⚠️CW for suggestive pose and sexual themes in the Lust section, +16⚠️)

Wrath

The most destructive kind, they have super strength and high durability, their claws are capable of cutting through hard metals. They are recognizable by their more pumped arm muscles, red fur and the tip of their tail resembling a lightened fuse of a bomb.

Imp: they might be small but still capable of doing some damage if provoked. When angry they might act like cats. It's kinda adorable tho

Animal: they look like anthropomorphic bulls. They're more easy to make them angry and can defeat anyone by simply flicking the opponent.

Beast: bull-like monsters with multiple legs. They spend most of their time giving headbutts on the tree trunks of the forest or attacking other beasts/anyone who meets their eyesight.

Pride

Let's be fair, they're the hardest ones to bear. This kind of Demons believe they're the best and most powerful ones, although they don't really don't have anything spectacular aside from being able to run as fast as a cheetah. They are recognizable by their more pumped leg muscles, orange fur and the tip of their tail resembling an arrow.

Imp: they don't have many peculiarities, you can see them strut all the time.

Animal: they look like anthropomorphic fishes. Now they're both quick both on land AND water, their teeth are more sharp and their fur is constantly wet.

Beast: piranha looking creatures with limbs to walk on land. They are so quick that you can barely follow them with your eyes. It only takes a moment of distraction to find out one second later that one of your limbs is missing and that it's in the monster's jaws.

Greed

The most hated ones in Hell. With their increased stealth abilities and ability to fly these bastards can be excellent thieves and scammers, giving Hell many economical problems because of it. They are recognizable by their bird wings, yellow fur and the tip of their tail resembling a claw.

Imp: they spend most of their time in the streets, always finding new victims to snatch their wallets or anything expensive looking.

Animal: they're half Imps and half ravens. You can see them soaring in the skies of Hell, often straight up nosediving towards the localised objective. 60% of the time they also accidentally grab the person they're stealing from because of how big their claws are.

Beast: raven-looking monsters with many claws, they live hidden in the bushes of the forest. If you have the misfortune to get caught by one of them you won't be able to get freed by their grasp, as their claws are as strong as the thickest metal around.

Envy

These guys have amplified senses, capable of seeing objects and hearing even the smallest whisper from great distances. It might seem like a pretty weak power at first, but used well it can be helpful in battles to anticipate the enemy's moves. Plus these Demons often get paid to stalk others by request. They are recognizable by their fly wings, green fur and their tail resembling a magnifying glass.

Imp: they live their lives normally with the exception that most of them give a menacing look to anyone they cross. Other times you can see them angrily mumbling with themselves as they listen to a conversation from the other side of the city.

Animal: they look like insects with humanoid limbs. These guys are pretty much known for giving the coldest insults to others, preferring to obsess over others's business than taking care of themselves.

Beast: fly-looking creatures with multiple eyes all over their bodies. It's impossible to catch or even touch them, as they see and hear everything around them. They're as fast as Pride Imps.

Sloth

The most innocuous ones, more or less. Their tail contains a special poison that can paralyse anyone for half an hour, but they don't use it much. They don't even trim their fur, making them look like giant walking hairballs. They are recognizable by their huge blue fur and the tip of their tail looking like a scorpion one.

Imp: it's rare to see one outside of their homes or of the Hell's Spa, and it's even rarer to see one doing something relevant like... I dunno, paying taxes or something.

Animal: they look like anthropomorphic llamas. They smell like rotten cheese and their breath is so bad that no one can describe what it smells like without going in a coma.

Beast: a mix of llama and goats creatures. They don't do anything. They just lay down on the grass field of the forest and do nothing. Their fur can be trimmed, although with much difficulty, and used as pillows, sheets and more, but it's rare to get this type of fur because of how these Beasts are such easy targets for the other ones to eat.

Gluttony

The tail of Gluttony Demons produces a special sweet liquid that can make you feel dizzy and see hallucinations when swallowed (think of it like LSD but in liquid form). Because of that they're often abducted by greedy people to squirt all of the juice from the tail and sell it to others, commonly known as "Demon Juice". They are recognizable by their bat wings (I forgot to draw that in the Imp below, whoops) purple fur and the tip of their tail resembling a fruit-looking sphere.

Imp: some of them have dark circles under their eyes and a little scruffy appearance. Usually they carry around a cup so that they can drink their "Demon Juice" whenever and wherever they want... Or just directly put the tail in their mouth and munch it.

Animal: they have some characteristics of a bat, making them look like vampires. They have an even more scruffy look, most of the Gluttony Animals have their tails ruined and shriveled up due to the gland that produces that liquid being damaged by squeezing continuously the tail. Because of this, half of them assault or manipulate other Gluttony Demons to desperately drink their Demon Juice and make them feel "good" again.

Beast: bat-like monsters. They are always hungry, always in search of anything to eat, always screeching loudly and desperately. They're just as dangerous as Wrath Beasts, capable of sucking out the blood of a being as big as them in less than a half a minute. The 7 Deadly Sins, taking turns every day, have the job to feed these Beasts in particular, so that they don't eat most of the other Beasts or, in the worst case, that they don't exit the forest and add more havoc than there already was in Hell.

(⚠️LAST WARNING, ALTHOUGH IT'S NOT EXPLICIT, THE SECTION BELOW CONTAINS MENTIONS OF PROSTITUTION AND SEXUAL ACTIVITIES⚠️)

Lust

Most of these demons live in wealth (gee, I wonder why) yet they're also really feared by others because of their ability to control anyone's mind by simply listening to their voices. They are recognizable by often wearing revealing clothes, having pink fur and the tip of their tail resembling a heart.

Imp: they can be really nice companions/friends with benefits, especially if you want some nice... Uhm... Services. They might be cheaper than the Lust Animals, but their quality is just as high, especially with their long slimy tongues.

Animal: they're viper-like creatures with additional heads as hands, to not be confused with Hell Snakes. They're sneaky and some even cruel with others, they get paid even more than Imps by people with... Questionable tastes, to say the least.

Beast: they're three headed snake monsters. Even by just looking at one of their 6 eyes you'll enter in a trance state and be the next appetizer of this ravenous and slimy creature.

[backpackingspace]

Guys listen I'm once again having ideas that I cannot draw. Consider:

A brief look of rage on Calypso as odysseus calls out for /a different goddess/

[luckyfailuregirl]

chat . chat did i cook/j

⚠️(TW: BRIGHT COLORS, MENTIONS OF DRUGS AND SEX)

(Lyrics from Limbo by Freddie Dredd, OCs besides Lucky by @shadow-9x , @cosmic-corporation , and my brother Ziggy!)

[folerdetdufoler]

hello

I’ve probably sent a similar ask before but could you please rec skam blogs you follow? Doesn’t matter if they’re OG or the international versions 🤗

gah, i don't really have any active skam recommendations for you! i looked at my following list and almost everyone is like "updated 4 years ago." people either moved on to different blogs, because i was only following skam sideblogs, or they grew out of tumblr. i do still see @vmcgmidlifecrisis and @decraziness posting regularly on my dashboard, but they also post whatever they fancy, not just skam. and i know of some people from discord, like @paralleluniversesfan and @evakuality and @mazarin01, but i haven't like, updated my dashboard to match discord names to blogs.

mostly what i do is check in the #skam tag and like or reblog from there, just to make sure i'm only seeing skam specific stuff.

[hey, if you post skam, like this post so anon and i can check out your blog!]

[onlytiktoks]

Original video ↑ (that the daily mail stole)

[sigyn-foxyposts]

My personal thoughts on "Twilight of the gods season 1"

Before reading I just want to say that these are my opinions alone! By no means am I saying this show can't be your thing, it just wasn't mine when it came to certain parts! Also what I'll be covering can be a bit of a sensitive topic to some. Such as race and sexual topics, I'm here to defend not hate 💚

Art by my darling @sparrowmp4 💚

Pros:

Starting off with the best is the animation and art style! It's smooth and full of movement, absolutely breathtaking! It will truly keep you watching, just to enjoy it. Character design's are pretty good too, though some could've been done better and were in general a bit bland.

It felt boring In a way when you could've done more but I understand it would be hard on the animators. The scenery they chose fits the with the setting of the story they're trying to tell. In all honestly done very well, excellent!

I really appreciate the references to actual mythology and my culture! There wasn't much culture other than how things looked in certain villages but things such as the retellings of the stories we got from written and oral traditions, it made me very happy seeing them here!

I also heavily appreciate the inclusion of Loki's struggles amongst the gods, with himself struggling being "a scapegoat god" and the focus on him trying to save his children from their fate. As well as the portrail on how not even gods are perfect!

They clearly did their research on Loki's character and knew what the fans wanted! I just wish we got even more, but it was rushed and in conclusion a bit shallow. Still, the effort is there & i eat what I get!

I love the representation of minorities in the series. Such as people of color and their different or even mixed heritages! Same goes for different identities and sexualities. They weren't afraid to shy away from bisexuality and transgender representation, which was very common back then and throughout history!

I did enjoy certain characters like the Seid Kona, Egil, Leif and Loki's development throughout the story and how they were written! But again was all bit rushed..

Cons:

They missed out on showing us a lot more gods and how Ragnarok actually went down, even if most of us know by now..where was fumbulvinter for example? And I don't like when people take certain mythology media as fact, it's the biggest issue I have when it comes to modern media taking on mythology and folklore in general.

Do it right, if not then let it be!

While I love the representation we got of POC people, the way it's ONLY set in a norse setting bothers me. Yes, the story is centerd around the norse but like..we could have had more representation of other cultures too just saying! They were traveling so much, even a reference would've been nice.

No what we get instead, which yeah can work since the vanir are magic and nature based is plant people (I get the thought behind it!) They make the representation we want plant people. Where only two vanir members that look human.. are people of color. What was the point of all that seriously!

Where are the other people of color..?

Now don't get me wrong, Tyra makes sense in this case because we don't know where she came from and that leaves thing for interpretation, I absolutely love that! What's very icky was that Freyja who is presented as a black woman here, is Tiwaz's sister (Basically Freyr idk why his name is a rune now..) and called herself a slave when talking about how Odin married her for her magic... Yikes!

I didn't appreciate how Fafnir was slain either and the fact Sigird killed Baldr when Hodr could've been included so easily in the battle. I honestly think Freyr, Hodr, Hoenir and many more deserve justice, especially those who were completely forgotten like Idunn, Nanna, Forseti, Thrud ect.

Oh and dont get me started on Angrboda and Sigyn here, I'm just happy Boda even got an appearance in the first place, but that isn't enough to be honest! Like all she did was be the poor mother who couldn't protect her children, nothing more to her character even though she's from the ironwoods that we saw in this series.. where was she after those events?! Most likely dead, which would add up. Let's hope Sigyn gets a better appearance!

I don't mind original characters but..when it comes to the point in retellings, do it in a way that makes sense please!! Make the original characters for example meet Sigurd, Fafnir's slayer instead of killing him off! What would their interaction be like? While I understand the main plot and focus was on Sigird taking her revenge on Thor.

It felt a bit boring.. Like yeah, girlboss with a tragic backstory and she can't cry. It feels a bit Mary Sue of her, not only that but they're a bit over powered too!

Here comes another part I've been dreading..the "interesting" interpretation of Jormi and Thor's fate to kill each other at Ragnarok. It felt very forced and weird making them have a sexual relationship, like sure it's a creative twist I guess but..the way the prophecy claimed that Ragnarok would end the gods if Jörmungandr would spill Thor's seed. That's not at all the case and just disgusting!

What hurts me the most about this topic is Loki's attempts to take her place, but how the prophecy wasn't meant for him. Killing Thor was the only way to free their family, so even if it meant death, she did what had to be done. Worse, she was only a child when Thor physically beat her when she tried defending her family..i didn't need that!

This plot felt more like an excuse to add in more sex to a show with too many of those scenes already! Than giving the representation that matters, people forced to do these things just to help their family.

I'll admit Thor's portrayal was somewhat accurate, it just wasn't done the way I had expected it! (Take that as you will)

Yes he has flaws and the gods aren't perfect! Yes, he is a brute who murdered many jotuns and drinks lots of mead with an appetite. Yes, he has anger issues.. And yes he cheated on Sif. That doesn't mean he has to abuse his own kid or have his marriage with Sif go that low. What's worse is when you realize Sif knows he is activity cheating and letting herself be insulted by Thor. When she literally wants Thor dead, she admits she also needs him for the sake of her purpose.

Now, toxic relationships are real and this is a great example but keep in mind that in actual mythology he was willing to break every bone in Loki's body for him simplely cutting off her hair! And he has a tendency to be over protective of his family like in the story where Alvis purposes to Thrud, his daughter! His characterization is certainly something and I hope we get more because when he started crying over his issues and actions.

It screamed, toxic masculinity in my face.

I don't know what was happening behind the scenes but the relationships were developing a bit fast and while I don't mind starting a story on a relationship, the way things were going between Leif and Sigird didn't make me feel much for them in the end. Yeah it's not easy to be a perfectly functioning couple after you lost your whole family because you two were getting married. But when he comforts you, saying you're allowed to grieve and follows you on your revenge trip even though he didn't want to but did it for you!

Also I love my poly rep but making Thyra be a part of their already dysfunctional relationship was a bad move. Thanks for the fake hope you gave Leif actually living a better life with just her. It was so obvious she was into women from the start..why??

I had to sympathize with Leif even more when Sigrid physically hurt him, all because he opened up about what he felt and was done with her crap. Sadly that sympathy went away the moment he decided to waste everything on a woman that cared more about revenge then him.

Finally last point, I very much dislike how characters we were supposed to bond with get killed off so suddenly? Not only weren't they fully developed like Ulfr and Anvari but they had to die for what? Do they come back for the plot later on because I'd certainly hope so!

I don't know if they'll make up for all of these plot lines but since it landed on a cliff hanger, it's definitely coming back. Let's cross our fingers for season 2 to be better and clear things up!! Thank you for reading 💚🤞

[dirt-apple-productions]

Need Uncomfortable Polling Data on AFO and Shigaraki

Alright Shigaraki Nation, I have a poll for you because I’m planning to write a meta analyzing AFO’s treatment of Tomura. I was interested to get fandom opinions on something very uncomfortable, so I’ve included it below a cut.

Please don’t read below the cut if you cannot handle these topics, and block the appropriate tags. I am not responsible for your triggers - you are.

Tw: child abuse, adoptive incest, sexual abuse

Thank you! Please reblog to increase sample size!

[zful]

you either stop or you die

[mamuzzy-creates-stuff]

FEBUWHUMP 2024 DAY 3 - "Bite down on this"

@febuwhump

Daddy's little boy

Republic Commando fic (under the cut)

Word count: 480

Characters: Ordo Skirata and his "demon", Kal Skirata mentions

Warning: Mentions of sex

Character study about Ordo and his inner turmoil. In the books Ordo refers to his inner darkness and anger as a demon that needs to be repressed constantly. I gave this inner-demon a body. Child-Ordo. His anger. His jealousy. His overprotective nature. His desire to love and desire to destroy.

Ord'ika, that was so embarrassing. Calling you a little boy in front of a pretty girl. Now you can't come back here without everyone thinking, you are Kal'buir's precious ad'ika. Yes, you are. Daddy's little boy. The only thing that proves you are an adult that you are capable of growing out a beard, otherwise you are just a little child. I would say being able to engage in coitus also makes you a man, but every living breathing being with at least one braincell can reproduce, why do you think there are so many dumb people here on Coruscant? Well, Kal'buir says compared to you, everyone is a brainless pile of banthaosik. Daddy's little smart boy. But that's the thing with reproduction, you know who can't sire a baby, Ord'ika? Well... little boys. Buir's little ad'ika. That's you. Come on. Say it. Say it out loud. Say that you actually checked the bosom of the waitress and you are interested in ffffff- fffff... having sexual intercourse with that lady! Say it you don't want to be called "ad'ika" in front of girls! Say that you don't want to be Ord'ika in front of other adults! SAY FUCK, DADDY'S NAUGTHY BOY!!! Mind you, if you try, you will break Buir's heart. Break into teeny-tiny pieces. You will break his heart so much, he is going to be sick and die. Or gets aneurysm. Or a heart-attack. BOTH! All because of you. Because you were angry, you were so beyond control. Say you don't want to be "Ord'ika" and Buir will die, BECAUSE OF YOU. And your brothers will pretty much hate you for it. Worse, if Buir dies, the Republic is going to get rid of you. You will be the cause of your brother's demise. So in the end, you don't say anything, do you? He is smiling at you. He loves you, you know that? Daddy's precious boy. You pretty much like to be his precious little boy, are you? Being pampered and spoiled. Being the favorite. You won't say anything because you are afraid you will lose the ad'ika privileges. Like being by his side. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. He loves you. Daddy's dearest boy. Or... Maybe he keeps you at his side because he is afraid, if he take his eyes away from you just for one second, I'm going to come out and wreck havoc in your name. You are ugly when I take over your body. You are ugly when you are angry. How can you be a good boy, when you are angry? Daddy's dearest psychopath. But hey. Buir is going to forgive you until you play along. Being his little boy who needs saving. Rescuing like an abandoned, wretched mog. After all, you don't want to lose the only safest anchor in your life, do you? Then remain silent. Daddy's little boy.

The angry child in ourselves sometimes needs a hug. A big one.

[reallyrandomtj]

Headcanon - Oath of Chastity

"Since embarking on the Path of Beauty, a path of asceticism, he had faced numerous trials. Some presented themselves as prayers, others as opportunities for repentance, and still others as the seductive whispers of the Triple Demons." ~ Argenti Character Story: Part III ( unlocked at character level 60 )

Argenti may have made his Oath of Chastity for more spiritual reasonings than religious; in fact, he may have lost all religion in his heart due to losing so much in his early years - his hometown, his master, friends, the 'bloody' fights he has thrown himself into to protect himself/others from monsters and lets not forget the Omen of Evil he has previously mentioned.

[ Under read more because this gets long ~ ]

The only TRUE reason Argenti would break this long term Oath?

When his LOVE for someone OVERPOWERS his WISH to meet IDRILA in person; which for Argenti that is a lot to ask of one person, he does not wish to choose between a life goal and someone who could fall to the Omen of Evil and he was powerless to save them.

Someone who 'vanquishes' his nerves/anxiety with little effort!

Someone who sees Argenti for who he truly is when his guard is down!

Someone who has given him a reason to stay put in one place!

WHY NOW would Argenti wish to try and break 'free' from such an important part of his life until now?

He is TIRED; of what? ... RUNNING and struggling to find clues as to Idrila's whereabouts. Argenti rarely stays in one place for very long, he wishes to find someone who helps 'ground' him.

He is SCARED; of many things... mainly losing more friends or a potential lover but he sees that now as 'normal' unavoidable part of life but it still scares him regardless.

Most importantly, Idrila THEMSELVES; Argenti is starting to believe that his OATH has upset them and is potentially one main reason they have not met yet despite YEARS of trying.

How will Argenti handle intimacy/sex after he has convinced himself that the Oath is no longer physically and spiritually binding:

Argenti needs to find SOMEONE that can help start the process.

His 'first' time with a partner may not even involve sexual intercourse; likely focusing on his partners pleasure than his own.

Argenti may remove his armor ( to the clothing he wears beneath it ) and nerves/anxiety may try to consume him.

He would be a gentle and considerate lover so intimate gestures such as deep passionate kisses may overwhelm/overstimulate him; Argenti has no idea of his stamina as he has never masturbated or even considered touching himself.

In conclusion:

It may sound 'easy' for him to break free from his long standing Oath but in practice it will be the furthest thing from the truth. Argenti has a lot of personal hurdles to overcome... he needs someone who can understand his boundaries and respect his wishes just as he would respect all of his partners wishes and boundaries.

All Argenti truly wishes is to spoil his partner with genuine love and observe the developing beauty of their relationship to the point affection doesn't riddle him with anxiety and he is free to love!

[cloud-anon]

GUYS I CANT BREATHE MY FRIEND JUST SENT ME THE MOST DERANGED TEXT HELP

(Top right screenshot is the picture I sent her)

[hellsite-detective]

(uh cw genitalia mention?)

ey I was wondering if you could find a post related to some asking why a guy called another dude babe and someone told them "people are gay, (name)". and they were like "yeah I know but I thought gay dudes called each other hot cock or something. babe is a straight guy word"

don't waste your time on me if you don't want to ofc

seein' this one, i knew i had to find it. this post was so funny to me, there was no way i could pass up this opportunity. so, i went down for to google and asked for "tumblr hotcock." after bein' disgusted for a few minutes, i finally found the post i was lookin' for. or at least, a screenshot of it. the problem was, however, the layout didn't look like tumblr. so, i did some diggin'. i quickly found a post from two years ago on tumblr that had the image, but no reference to the original post. plus, all screenshots had the usernames censored. the thing was, this screenshot wasn't tumblr. not in the slightest.

the first comment in the chain had it's username censored. but, next to their name, there was a small arrow pointing up with a "-25" written down. now, i don't have any concrete evidence. but that, combined with the overall layout and red/orange color scheme of the bars on the left leads me to believe that this was in fact a reddit comment thread. now, my expertise was this hellsite, not reddit. and i wasn't about to spend hours of my life in the weeds of reddit trackin' down the post that the comment thread was from. nor was i gonna risk goin' on reddit and searching for "hotcock." so, i grabbed the tumblr repost and called this one a day.

sorry that this isn't quite what you were lookin' for. i can't say this case is particularly solved, but i did everythin' i could to find this one. if anyone has any info as to what reddit post this is from, i'd love to hear. but until then, enjoy this post! have a great day!

Post Case: Gone Cold

[thelunarsystemwrites]

!Vent!

trigger warning, the following content discussion mental illness, trauma, child sexual abuse, swearing, victim blaming, aggressive behaviour. You have been warned.

Honestly I don't know what to be mad at.

Like, I was a kid. Who the fuck does that to a kid? In HIS own damn house! Why did that happen? Because I feel like I deserved it, or like it's my fault? I was a kid, i was old enough to talk and say no??

IT'S BEEN OVER TEN FUCKING YEARS why am I still afraid!? I'm so fucking pissed at myself because I haven't got over it.

BUT I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT SO SOMEONE ELSE!?

Just-

I dunno I'm tired.

I'm tired of holding myself to a higher standard than everyone else but I don't stop doing it?? And I'm fully aware of victim blaming right now but i feel like I deserve to be blamed, and if I ever told my family they'd hate me.

[bumblingbabooshka]

yoooooo what do u think about tom and harry?

they are my little wet pathetic excuse of a man (non derogatory)

I like them! I don't think about them at all really bc my shipping mind for Voyager is only ever really occupied with b/7 or ships that involve Tuvok but here we go!

For Tom & Harry I think they're the kind of ship where I'd never read any fanfiction* for them bc I have a very specific type of characterization that makes it work for me wherein Tom is this sort of pathetic loser trying desperately to seem cool and Harry actually is cool sort of effortlessly even though he's kind of a nerd too. Harry is like everything Tom's dad would have wanted Tom to be and I'm sure that factors into their relationship somehow. Tom's weird jealousy around Harry and the girls Harry's into is interesting. Harry being an optimist and wanting desperately to go home while Tom is more prone to pessimism and doesn't care about going home or not because "What I have here is better than anything I ever had before" is interesting. You can see how different their lives are because of that outlook. Tom is honestly consistently more interested in Harry than he ever is in B'Elanna. He always wants to do things with Harry, he wants Harry to be there for everything he wants Harry to say they're best friends, he breaks into his quarters in the middle of the night, he's wild. I can absolutely imagine Tom thinking about Harry like 24/7 whereas Harry thinks about Tom a normal amount. They would have such a long stage where neither made a move because Tom is fighting his internalized homophobia with a baseball bat and Harry doesn't think Tom's into him. Harry tells Tom he's bisexual (Harry has been out for years) and Tom reacts immediately with the "Are you into me???" thing and Harry's like "=_= No." and Tom's like "KIDDING!!! Don't be such a wet blanket, Kim~!!" hard cut to him lying awake at night. Why isn't he into me????? Why???? His jealousy increases tenfold. If Harry's into guys and he likes me then why isn't he INTO me what is it ABOUT me??? No B'Elanna I can't go on a date with you I have to write a Very Telling Captain Proton episode. Eventually (after like a month of weirdness) Harry's like "Tom. What is this??? Are YOU into ME??" and Tom's like "NO!!! Are you kidding me??" smashcut to Tom lying awake at night. Am I into Harry???? Oh my God am I into Harry??? Tom is terrible at sex. However I can imagine him being much more romantic with Harry than he was with B'Elanna - just bc he thinks about him more. Very elaborate date ideas which he spends a lot of time thinking of. Harry's like "I would have been fine with just a regular dinner" <- He's laughing, he thinks its fun. While Tom's like "This IS a regular dinner...in a recreation of your favorite concert hall as a celebration of your recital for that new composition you wrote. By the way, there's a competition for best clarinet player and I have a feeling you're gonna win ;)" I think they'd work well together. I can see them breaking up after Voyager but still being good friends OR them breaking up and getting back together a few times. Tom has a lot of self-esteem issues which I think could lead to jealousy, cheating-y behavior (Ex: Trying to make Harry jealous bc Harry was talking to someone and Tom thinks Harry might like that person more Read: Tom doesn't think he deserves Harry and that it's a foregone conclusion that Harry will leave him) or an excessive need for reassurance (Ex: "Jokes" about how Harry will leave him) which I think Harry would be annoyed by even though he'd of course try to be understanding and patient and talk things out. Tom hasn't shown himself to love emotional vulnerability. Like B'Elanna said, "You act like nothing affects you and turn everything into a joke." Harry seems more mature than that so I'm sure that sort of behavior would wear on him after awhile.

Harry blows Tom's mind the first time they have sex and Tom blabs about it the first chance he gets. Goes directly to sickbay for just this purpose. Doc: Do my visual processors deceive me or is Tom Paris actually arriving on time to his duty shift? Tom: [with the most pep one can have in their step] You might need to check my back doc I'm pretty sure the golden boy blew it out last night. *I think fanfics for them would just make Harry a woobified 'gosh you're so cool Tom' softboi virgin and Tom a rugged top who's great at sex which is wrong. Tom is terrible at sex. He's never ate a woman out, he's never been pegged, he only makes his partner finish like half the time if we're being generous and he's out like a light after he's done. You don't have to do the first two to be good at sex those are just other true facts about Lieutenant Tom Paris.