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patrickispinky · 27 days ago

Text

Sex, Drugs, Etc.

Warnings: Talk of drugs/Drug use. Possible smut in the future. SH. A lot of plot. EXTREME Canon divergence. Before Maddies time. Set in 2021

I got a lot of inspiration and motivation from @whoopsyeahokay series called October Sun if you haven't read it yet I recommend you do its amazing, you can find it on tumblr and Ao3. October Sun

(This is very self indulgent and based on things ive been through and how I could have very easily ended up as a ghost. This is NOT meant to romanticize addiction or mental illness. This is a judgment free zone so I want no bullying or hate on anyone. I'm not the best writer so be nice)

1.9k Words

Enjoy :)

Two days, two fucking days you’ve been rotting and no ones come to find you. Well no one alive at least.

It started off normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Just another boring school day with the same washed out boring people. Tired eyes and even more tired souls. So what changed? A little slip up on the same thing that had almost claimed your life many times over the years except this time no one was there to save you.

You were 14 when you first learned the only way for your brain to stop spinning, trying to find a new way to obtain peace was with a very simple little thing. Weed, this wasn't what was deadly, no it was what started the cycle. First it was weed, then it was alcohol, then it was late night parties, until one day it fell into the palm of your hand. A simple little pill, how could it cause so much damage? Things were fine until one pill turned into two then two turned into three and then you ended up on the patio of a stranger's porch foaming out the mouth. 4 days in the hospital and 2 weeks in rehab was enough to scare you for a while, but not enough to make you forget about the relief that came with it.

That's how you ended up here, sitting in a circle sharing stories about life and death, a group of highschool boys who had no idea you were even there, playing basketball behind you. Should have just gone to group like you were told to, at least then you would have been with people who understood addiction. Now judgmental eyes fall upon you because you caused your own death. As much as you wanted to find someone, something to blame you knew you couldn't, this was your fault. The spinning hasn't stopped. At least ghosts couldn't go through withdrawal, doesn’t change the fact that the empty feeling you tried so desperately to fill is more presint than ever.

The sweet voice of Mr.Martin fills the room. Like white nose until you heard him call your name. Head shooting up to look up at him. “Have you started working on your obituary?” Ah yes, ghost homework. you would have never thought that you would have been asked to write your own obituary yet here we are. Not as easy as it sounds.

“I’ve got some ideas” Like when you got so drunk you threw up on your friends cat, or when you were so high that your brother convinced you the plane flying over your house was a UFO, fun memories. Apparently you were supposed to write about the good parts of your life but that's kinda hard when the only good memories you had were caused by what put you in this situation to begin with.

“Take your time, if you need to im sure some of the others wouldn't mind telling you about what they wrote, for motivation.” You give a simple nod, wanting all the prying eyes around you to look away. And they do, except a certain pair that had been watching you since you got here.

Wally Clark, a sweet boy, bright future, died to soon like everyone else in this fucked up version of your own personal hell. He asked too many questions, it wasn't a secret how you died, just something you didn't want to talk about. He respected that, like most of the others, most. Doesn't stop him from prying, staring with curious eyes.

“I think that's all for today, don't forget tomorrow's movie night as always our newest member will be picking the movie.” You give an awkward smile before standing up and turning to leave along with the rest of the group. Heavy footsteps creeping up behind you and the sound of your name being called stops you as the tall boy catches up.

“So um do you need help with your obituary? not to brag but I think I did a pretty good job on mine.” Wally was quite attractive, tall, with big brown eyes, and slick back brown fluffy hair. No doubt having made girls fawn over him during his lifetime. You and him weren't exactly friends but the idea of having a little help writing… well, a self obituary wasn't bad.

“Sure, we could go to the library.” An excited grin grew on Wallys face, not expecting you to say yes.

“Yeah, yeah the library sounds great” It was kinda cute how he acted sometimes. Not like a typical jock, a pure golden retriever.

“Cool” You stand there kinda awkwardly, hands in the pockets of your red zip up hoodie as you gave him an expecting look.

“Oh like now?” He was somehow the most confident yet most awkward person in the world. “Um okay yeah that works”

You tilt your head sideways towards the door leading out the gym, indicating for him to follow you out. Taking the lead and making your way out, opening the door for him. “Ladies first” He let out a small chuckle at your attempt at a joke, considering it was the first time you really talked to anyone since everything happened. It wasn't that you didn't like people, you just didn’t understand the point of friends. It might sound depressing but having a small group of people that you know will stick around is better than hanging around people that barely know you. Yet here you are, stuck with strangers for eternity or until you finally move on, however long that’ll take.

The hallway was filled with loud teens, some rushing to their next class others going out the back door, more than likely skipping. “So how does this work?” You look over at him.

“What? The afterlife?” He looks at you, a little nervous. “I don’t think im the best person to explain it to you, that's more of Charley's thing.” Charley was sweet, the first person you met when you woke up. Some sort of after life guide.

“No, a self obituary.” The words felt weird coming out your mouth. “I know I'm supposed to write about all the great things in life but I don't think huffing nitrous in my uncles bathroom on thanksgiving really counts as a good memory.”

“Nitrous? like the shit in whipped cream?” He gave you a sideways look, a concerned but humored smile on his face.

“Yes, the shit in whipped cream, I don't recommend. I passed out and almost had a seizure.” As we reach the library he opens the door, allowing you to go in first.

“Okay, maybe don’t include that in your obituary, how about” He thought for a second. “Write about your friends and family, I'm sure you have some good memories with them.”

You let out a frustrated sigh as you sat down at a table, Wally sitting down across from you as you take off your backpack, pulling a pencil and the folder Mr.Martin had given you. “That's too much work, do you think Mr.Martin would notice if I just copied yours?” Wally laughs a little, his straight white teeth showing.

“No, he’ll totally believe that you played football and lost your virginity in your moms car.” Now you’re the one laughing, his sentence coming out way too casually.

“You lost your virginity in your moms car?” You take a few seconds to process before you look at him judgmentally. “You included how you lost your virginity?” Though the smiles’ still apparent on your face.

“Happy memories, remember?” And there's the jock attitude you were waiting for, somehow a bit surprising but not unexpected. “You could just write your feelings.” You have a whole journal for that from when you got sober… soberish.

“This may come as a shock to you but I'm not exactly a feelings person.” Not totally true, it was just easier to not feel anything at all, especially with the situation you're in right now.

“Really? I couldn't tell” The sarcastic tone in his voice very apparent. “Alright fine, if you were happiest when you were high then it's worth writing.”

“Great, so high stories, got it” Though it wasn't the best idea, you had to write something so Mr.Martin would get off your ass about it. Reminiscing was a slippery slope, you were holding up decently so far but contrary to what all the others think it hurt deep down. “How about the first time I tried molly?” Probably one of the best ‘happy pills’ you tried in your lifetime.

“What was it like?” He clearly had no intentions of finding out first hand, just curious of the experience.

“It made me really aware but like in a good way.” There was no real way to describe it without going into depth. “And kinda trippy I guess, does that make sense?”

“Yeah, I guess.” He knew he could never truly understand, no one could unless they experienced it themselves. As you begin to jot down the memory Wally peaks over, looking at the page though it's not very useful due to the fact that he doesn't possess the skill to read upside down.

“Nosey” You laugh a little at his attempt to get to know you better. “You know if you want to get to know me, maybe there are better ways to do it then helping me write my own obituary” Yep, still didn't sound right.

“Oh um yeah, this is probably a really weird first hang out.” He laughs awkwardly at the realization that this is still new to you. It wasn't like he had never been around a new ghost before, he knew he was supposed to be slow, supportive, ease them into it but with the way you acted sometimes made him think you were more used to this than he was. In a way you were, death was something that you had imagined so many times so when it actually came the idea of being trapped wasn't one you hadn't thought of before. “How about after we're done with this I could take you down to the pool?”

You smile, the sentiment was sweet. “Thanks, but I don't know how to swim.” You were never taught and it didn't seem important in life so you just never learned. The surprised look on Wallys face was priceless.

“How the hell are you 18 and don’t know how to swim?” It wasn't judgmental, just a little surprised, but the grin on his face indicated that he had an idea.

“Oh god, what are you thinking about?” You knew what was coming, he wouldn't be him if he didn’t jump at the opportunity to help a new friend. Wally was very readable and you didn’t know if that was a good thing yet.

“I could teach you.” And there it was, of course he wanted to teach you. “It could be fun, plus you don't have much else to do.”

“You know what fuck it, you’re right there isnt shit else to do.” Especially with your body still laying cold in the old abandoned locker rooms aka ‘the brain cave’.

“Great, you should keep writing, the faster you get it over with the less weird it feels.” And that's how it started, you were never the friend type but as much as you hated to say it you needed someone. Sure that someone is very attractive and the idea of seeing him in nothing but swim trunks was a nice image but who could blame you? The afterlife is lonely.

Pt.2

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patrickispinky · 18 days ago

Text

Sex, Drugs, Etc.

pt.2

Warnings: Talk of drugs/Drug use. Possible smut in the future. SH. A lot of plot. EXTREME Canon divergence. Before Maddies time. Set in 2021. Almost panic attack. This is NOT meant to romanticize addiction or mental illness.

2.4k words

Enjoy :)

Pt.1

It was like any other Friday night. A crowded living room filled with loud teenagers, music so loud your brain went numb, the strong scent of booze and grass filling the air, kids pissing on the carpet and throwing up in the backyard, the perfect party… well almost perfect. There was something missing, something no amount of alcohol or smelly plants could fill.

Your head was spinning, not from the shots of vodka some girl you just met brought you, but from the people. Parties were supposed to be fun, a chance to drink and dance but the overwhelming crowd left you short of breath. No one forced you to show up, hell you weren't even invited, but you’d take any chance to get out of the house.

“Hey I’ll be right back” You say to the random blond girl, not giving her enough time to respond before you walk away. Weaving through the drunk teens to get to the back door, you frantically fiddle with the handle, air becoming something almost non-existent. Swinging the door open you step outside, taking deep breaths of air. To anyone walking by it just looked like you were calming yourself down from a bad trip.

“Hey you alright?” The sound of a familiar voice fills your ears. “You look like you've seen a ghost” (I'm so funny) It was Josh, you’d buy weed from him sometimes, though you haven't really talked outside of small talk to make your interactions feel less illegal.

“Um yeah. I'm great.” Your breath was still ragged, words coming out rushed despite how hard you tried to make them sound casual.

“Come on, sit down” He grabs you by the shoulder gently, leading you to a coach that had been pulled out into the backyard. A chick with black hair sitting on the far end of it and a dude passed out on the ground in front of it. You sit down awkwardly, Josh comes over and sits between you and the girl, holding two beers and hands you one.

"Thanks" You take the beer, your original plan of getting some air and going home ruined.

"You're a little young to be here, aren't you?" This is the first time anyone has questioned you on your age. Normally they'd give you a weird look but leave you alone.

"I'm old enough for you to sell me bud." He let out a little laugh, 14 was probably too young to be drinking and partying but who's gonna stop you?

"Got me there" He takes a sip out of the glass bottle. "You don't look like you're having fun."

“Not really” The only fun thing about parties was getting too drunk to even remember where you are, something you didn’t get the chance to do.

“You know I'm in a good mood, I got something for you.” He reaches into his pocket, holding out his hand waiting. You look at him confused and after a few seconds he rolls his eyes, but his smile grows. “Go on, take it.” You reluctantly put up your hand for him to drop whatever he has into it. When he does you realize what it is, a little pill.

“What is this?” The confusion is clear on your face, never having shown any interest in taking pills before.

“Its percocet, 10 milligrams.” You recognize the name, your grandma used to take them. What you didn't understand was why he was handing you a pain pill.

“Oh um, I don't have any money.” Which wasn’t a lie, but also a good excuse to get out of this awkward situation. He laughs again, clearly high out of his mind and way too friendly.

“Don’t worry about it, it's on the house.” Now that was what really concerned you, taking a free pill from someone who you barely knew sounded like a death sentence. “You look like you need it.” The girl sitting next to him scoffed. “Since when are you interested in giving out free shit?” She clearly wasn't in as good of a mood as he was.

“Come on Gina, the poor girl looked like she was gonna pass out earlier.” That doesn't help with the bitter look that grows on her face.

“Oh so your girlfriend has to pay but you'll give it out to this random kid?” The tone of her voice clearly pissed off, to be fair it was kinda fucked up.

“Gina-” She doesn't give him a chance to speak before getting up and walking away, mumbling to herself. You sit there awkwardly, pill still in your hand.

“Should you like, go after her?” Wanting to get up and walk away too, not knowing what to do after accidentally being involved in a potential break up.

“Nah, she’ll be fine.” He seemed calm, not worried at all at the fact that his girlfriend just stormed out on him. Maybe this was a normal occurrence, either way you decided it's none of your business and opted not to ask any more questions.

“So what do I do with this?” You gesture to the hand with the pill in it. This was probably in the top 10 most confused you’ve ever been in your life. No one has ever handed you a random pill before.

“Take it?” He looked at you like you were dumb, like this was the most normal thing in existence.

“I don’t- I don’t think that's the best idea.” It wasn't the idea of taking a perc that scared you, it was the fact that he could have easily been lying. You’d seen enough true crime to know that this is how you end up on the news. “Here” You hold up the pill, trying to hand it back to him. “It's late, I should head home.”

“Keep it, I got plenty.” You give him a small nod, sliding the pill into your pocket as you stand up, looking down at the guy passed out on the ground.

“Uh-” You were gonna ask if he was okay but decided not to, looking back at Josh. “Have a good night.” He ghost (hehe) cheers his beer at you as you walk away, going home confused.

(“1 fish, 2 fish, this flashbacks been too long bitch” - My Brother, 2024)

The sound of the final bell rings as you head to the gym where Mr.Martin was planning for tomorrow's movie night. You open the door and see him writing in a notebook as he sits on the edge of the stage. He looks up noticing you as he slides down onto his feet. “Hey, is that your obituary?” He points down to the folder in your hand, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face that feels somewhat intimidating.

“Yeah, Wally helped me write it.” You hand him it, watching him open it, eyes gazing over the pages. A smile still on his face as he closes it.

“I figured he would, he's such a little helper.” He puts the folder on the stage beside him. “I will sit down and read that later, but for now how are you feeling?” Like shit, but you couldn’t tell him that.

“Great actually, I think this helped.” If anything it made the hunger worse, apparently even death couldn't silence the craving. You made the fake smile on your face look as convincing as possible.

“Any plans for today?” Another attempt at getting you to talk to the others. He's already suggested several ‘bonding activities’ in the two days you’ve been here.

“Yeah actually.” The way his face lit up like a christmas tree was almost comical. “Wallys gonna teach me how to swim later.”

“Oh well, isn't that lovely?” Something about the old fashioned way he talked reminded you of your grandpa. The familiarity brings an odd sense of comfort.

“I should probably um-” You gesture to the door on the other side of the gym, hands in the pocket of your hoodie, a habit you picked up to keep you from picking at the delicate skin that covers them.

“Yeah, go on. Have fun.” He waves you off, smile turning more cheesy like a supportive father watching his daughter leave for her first date.

“Okay, great” You turn awkwardly, making your way out.

“I expect to see you tomorrow.” He yells as you're halfway across the gym.

“Of course.” You yell back without turning around. Reaching the door you step out, entering the now empty halls. You weren't supposed to meet up with Wally until later but needing some alone time you opted for the library where you spent most of your day already. A quiet place where you can escape your own thoughts with a simple little book.

Going the same route you did earlier, except you were alone this time. Something about the quiet school halls felt almost uncanny, somewhat unnatural. You attempt to brush off the uneasy feeling as you reach the library. It was one of your favorite places in the school during your life other than the old locker rooms, but that wasn't really an option anymore.

The cool air hits your face as you open the door, the sweet librarian Gilinda always kept the ac on specifically for you. Kinda funny to think about the fact that she doesn't even know you're gone, nobody does, how the hell has nobody noticed? I mean isnt it fucking obvious? Do they even care? The silent tear dripping down your cheek snaps you out of thought, rubbing it away with your sleeve quickly. Emotions were always so weird, feelings were something you always tried to hide away into the farthest parts of your mind, leaving you completely and utterly numb. It was the safest option.

You made your way into the fantasy section, easy and simple. You look around for a little bit before one catches your eye ‘Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children’ A token you had read years ago. The graphic story probably wasn’t appropriate for your 12 year old self but something about it sparked something within you. (Ooooh so edgy) There was this little corner you always sat in, it was quiet and not a lot of people came near it, not that it really mattered considering the library was empty but it was your little spot.

It had been a while since you got to sit down and read a book, your brain being either too wired or too relaxed to concentrate so this was a good feeling. A simple little book, in a simple little corner, in a simple little weird ass situation. What a fucking life… well death.

The spine was worn down from years of being passed around by different messy highschoolers, pages somewhat torn, leaving the sweet smell of old paper. You read through the first chapter, then the second, then the third, until you forgot about the world around you. Completely immersed in the weird fucked up tale. It was like time didn't exist, nothing did except the little images you created in your mind. It was the only way of escaping, forgetting about life, about death, about cravings, descending into a different world like nothing else matters. It wasn't until you reached the last page that you realized how late it was, though you didn't feel tired. It was like the times you did adderall, nothing could put you to bed.

“Oh shit” You whispered quietly to yourself when you realized you were only supposed to be there for an hour, your plans with Wally had been completely forgotten about. You stand up, rushing out the library, not bothering putting the book back where it belongs. The halls were dark, no light from the windows filling them, you didn’t know what time it was, just that it was late and way past when you were supposed to meet up. What a great first impression.

You made your way to the pool room only to find it empty. Of course it was, no one in their right mind would wait hours for someone they didn't even really know. Well this was shitty, he probably thinks you're a total asshole. Who could blame him? He spent his entire afternoon helping you write your obituary and you accidentally blew him off. Asshole behavior.

It's not like you could find him and apologize, he was probably asleep right now. Something Mr.Martin had advised you to do when you first got here. It was probably a good idea. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a good sleep, normally getting woken up by nightmares or stomach pain. A side effect of pills that they fail to mention.

You doubted that there were any empty couches, but Mr.Figueroa always kept blankets in his classroom in case someone got cold. His classroom was just down the hall, one of your favorite places to be during c block. He always let you hang out in there even if you were supposed to be in class. The door was locked, but if there was one thing you learned at this school it was that all you had to do was slide your id through the crack and it would pop right open, an important life skill. Charley was sleeping peacefully on the little couch in the corner of the room. You were careful not to wake him as you snuck over to the closet. It was filled with board games and little props he’d use to teach, at the bottom was a pile of folded up blankets. A fuzzy gray one at the top that you always used, it even smelled like you.

As you made your way out the classroom, blanket in hand, you tried to figure out where you were going. That's when you saw her, a red haired girl sleeping on top of the lockers. You’d seen her before but never introduced yourself since she wasn't in group. It wasn’t a bad idea, seemed peaceful. You walked down into a different hall, not knowing if there was sleeping territory. It was probably the safest option to go where your locker was.

It wasn't too high up, a little hard to climb but you managed. The medal was a little cold and you didn’t have a place to rest your head so you took your hoodie off, scrunching it up so you could use it as a makeshift pillow. It wasn't the most comfortable option but it would have to do for now, at least until you fingered out the rules of the afterlife.

(Had to conjure up my inner edgy teenage self for this one, and yes the flash back did in fact happen to me. It was really awkward)

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