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lixiesfreckless · 3 months ago

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Sugar & Spice | h. j.

A Sugar Across The Hall bonus scene

➸ synopsis: in reality, Joshua Hong can never say no to you.

➸ starring: joshua hong x reader

➸ word count: 1.9k words

➸ general content: boyfriend!joshua, kissing, slightly more than kissing lmao

➸ warnings: suggestive content, brief mention of alcohol

➸ rating: TV 16+

➸ author’s note: this can be read as a stand-alone BUT…happy one year anniversary to my magnum opus, sath. I love it to death, and I’m still not done writing for these characters, but for now, you get a much needed not-quite-hallmark-channel-approved scene. and before you get it twisted, this is and will always be dedicated to my beloved @ashonheavenscloud , but I’d like to give special thanks to @catboyieejeno for always encouraging me to stir the pot <3 love you guys a ton mwah

♫ this fic has a soundtrack! touch by keshi uhhhhhh somebody by keshi aahhhhhhh

Oh, he's really done it now.

Walking around some lively street corner a few blocks away from your shared apartment building, Joshua leads the two of you through downtown NYC at the height of spring. Strangers pass by your lovestruck duo without a second glance, not bothering to watch you look back at him with a borderline absurd amount of fondness in your irises. It's funny; usually Joshua wouldn't give spring a chance when it came to stating his favorite season, but since you waltzed into his life, he can confidently say that any of them are worthwhile—as long as you're with him. He squeezes your hand for what feels like the millionth time this evening, an action that makes you giggle happily to yourself.

Because you find it cute.

Oh, how you have no idea at all.

How tortuous this night has been for Joshua. How he regrets the day that he walked into that fateful department store, not looking for anything in particular but coming to a full stop in front of a specific mannequin. How he mentally patted himself on the back for remembering your size when you opened the gift bag a few hours earlier, eyes alight in excitement as you pulled out the present, letting the fabric unroll in your fingertips. How his face heated up as you opened your apartment door, and he quickly noted how the mannequin did the dress no justice.

Truthfully, if the dress looked as good on the mannequin as it did on you, he would have never taken it off the rack. He'd know better.

Because all through dinner he had to stop himself from staring at you and the slope of your neck, broken up by the thin straps of the halter dress and abandoned by your hair that was conveniently(to his demise) in an updo, to show off the open back. Luckily, you were so delighted by the Greek restaurant that you'd picked out that you hardly noticed his deepening flush, or the way he nearly downed his white wine in one go the second the server left your table.

And now, as you swing his hand and practically run up the stairs(because the elevator is broken, again), he finds himself almost dreading the night ahead. It's a Thursday, which means self care and Grey’s Anatomy, and while he would never turn down spending time with you, being that close to you for a prolonged period of time after the night he's had would be borderline masochistic.

Of course he contemplates all of this, but in reality, Joshua Hong can never say no to you.

So you unlock the door to your home, blabbering on about something that had happened at work and completely oblivious to the way that your boyfriend is eyeing you, torn between running towards you and running across the hall to get a grip on himself.

“Johnny went off at a customer yesterday,” you chuckled, crossing the room to set your purse down on the kitchen table. “They were being so rude, and over spilled milk too—throwing a fit over where we get our coffee beans imported from–”

You yelp in surprise, followed by a giggle at the feeling of Joshua’s hands encircling your waist from behind. His head settles in the space on your shoulder, but not before leaving a light kiss to the exposed skin of your neck.

“Hi,” you greet him, hands coming up to hold onto his forearms as you try to decipher the reason for this sudden display of affection.

“Hi,” he sighs, nose nudging against your pulse point, “Did I ever tell you how stunning you look in that dress?”

“No, I must have misheard you the first fifty times.”

He laughs at your little jab, willing his hands to stay still despite his growing desire to let them wander. You make the terrible decision to turn just enough so you can look at him, and it's this position that puts Joshua at his most vulnerable.

“Ready to wrap up season five?”

Looking up at him the way that you are paired with your slightly parted lips and flushed demeanor, Joshua finds himself at a loss for words, instinctively leaning into your face as his restraint wears thin. And your unfazed and accepting disposition makes it that much worse for him, his breath shaking as you flutter your eyes shut and part your lips.

The first touch of his lips is familiar, his kiss walking the line between mind-numbingly sweet and devastatingly tender as one of his hands comes up to lift your jaw. But instead of pulling away like he had originally intended, he presses harder against your mouth with a small sigh, unable to find any logical objection to the change of plans.

Your giggly demeanor fizzles out under the heat of his mouth, and your breath escapes you once his hand slides down to your neck, fingers languidly tracing the curve and playing with the straps that rest there. In contrast to his slow hands, his kisses grow faster and almost desperate, not wanting to separate for even a second as he tilts his head and slants his mouth against yours.

You stumble backwards slightly in pleasant surprise, and the table hits just above the hem of your skirt before the arm around your waist tightens, pulling you further into Joshua’s chest.

He takes this opportunity to lean forward slightly, clearing the table with a sweep of the arm that was holding you before hoisting you up onto it, hands firm on your thighs and then sliding down to your knees so he can part them.

“Josh,” you whisper breathlessly, clutching onto his shoulders as your eyes dazedly flicker between his lips and his eyes. His lower lip gets trapped between his teeth as his strength falters, gaze hardly able to meet yours as his fingers dance along the scalloped hem of your dress.

“Oh God, don't do that baby,” he nearly moans, and the pet name turns your brain waves into radio static. You've never heard him sound so helpless, as if his very fate would be decided by whatever you choose to say next. “You make it so hard to just sit and watch TV with you sometimes. Especially when you look like this.”

Knowing now that you have the upper hand, you decide to humor yourself and tease him a bit, leaning forward with a slight smirk on your lips. “Like what?”

His eyes drink you in from head to toe, taking their time to memorize all of your body lines in the flattering dress. If the opportunity were to present itself tonight, he doesn't know whether he would even want to take it off of you.

He leans in close, hoping that his desire translates well as it's mumbled against the skin of your neck.

“So damn good.”

His confession against your sensitive skin has you muffling a whine, gripping the edge of the table as your rationale evaporates under his searing lips, traveling higher and higher with each press.

You can't take his teasing much longer, and frankly, this side of him doesn't come out often enough for you to pass up an opportunity such as this. Meredith Grey will have to wait.

“You know…” you whisper, head tilting back as you feel his hand slipping behind your neck to support it, “they play reruns on Friday nights too.”

“Thank God, ‘cause you in this dress has been driving me crazy since you put it on,” he chuckles against your lips before catching them with his again, taking his time now to fully taste you, swiping his tongue along your bottom lip to elicit that delightful shiver that runs up your spine. You respond in earnest with your hands, carding through his brown locks and nearly melting when he doesn't suppress the groan that tumbles from his throat.

He kisses you like you’re air itself, hands sliding up your skirt and body pressing against yours, and once your nails slide down his scalp he softly groans into your mouth, moving onto kissing across your jawline. You repeat the action while winding your legs around Joshua’s waist, and he whines quietly into your neck, “Please…tell me to stop before I can’t.”

So subtly you almost miss it, he rolls his hips into yours, his desires clouding his judgment as a foreign sound jumps to the top of your throat. Immediately your attention is drawn to the heat you feel in your abdomen, and while you have grown accustomed to bearing it in silence, you’re finding it increasingly hard to ignore with him like this, hands all over you.

Wanting you.

He does it again, with a little more pressure this time, and your head falls back as a whimper just barely tumbles out of your lips. He shivers slightly, nearly overcome with the exertion of fighting every urge to take you on this table this instant.

To temporarily solve this problem, his lips find yours again, but feeling your muffled moans against him proves to be no more effective than trying to put out a forest fire with a garden hose.

As his hips softly grind into yours and your kisses get more and more frantic, your voice of reason pushes through the heavy cloud of lust at the forefront of your brain. “Wait, I've never–”

“We don't have to baby,” he cuts you off, wanting to make his intentions clear despite being unable to put an inch of space between the two of you, “and I don't want to just yet, but I…”

His hand that was previously bunched in your dress comes up to cradle your jaw, thumb brushing gently against the redness of your cheek as he calms himself down with a deep breath.

And as he gazes at you with nothing but adoration in his brown irises, you can almost feel the words coming before he says them out loud.

“I…I am so in love with you,” he begins, fighting a chuckle born out of the absurd location of this sudden confession, “that sometimes, when I look at you, I can’t even think straight, and I…” he trails off, struggling to find the right words the longer he stares at you.

You, on the other hand, are practically beaming, bottom lip trapped by your teeth in an attempt to fight the smile you’d be flashing him, so as to not distract him any further. But you soon realize; with him seated between your legs, there’s not much you can do to help him out here.

So you switch to offense, legs squeezing him tight around his waist to pull his hips back to yours. “You what?”

His chocolate eyes darken to a coffee color in seconds, and the hand that was on your hip tightens again, keeping you firm in place on the table as you bat your eyelashes at him.

“Sometimes I wish I could just show you how much you drive me crazy.”

You don’t hesitate, lifting your chin to meet his lips in a deceptively chaste kiss as your hands fall onto the buttons on his shirt, playing with them just to rile him up further.

You shrug, feigning indifference. “Maybe you can.”

And at that, before you can even register what’s happening, he’s sliding an arm around your waist and under your knees, picking you up and heading towards your bedroom with a chuckle.

“Maybe I should.”

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧

click to read Sugar Across The Hall

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woozinhos · 26 days ago

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hi! could you give us your thoughts on how the members would eat pussy? c;

of course I love these types of request enjoyyyy I need to update my master list LMAO

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*

**Seungcheol**

Seungcheol, being the caring and dominant leader he is, would take his time eating you out. He would tease you at first, slowly kissing your thighs and working his way up to your sensitive area. He would use his tongue expertly, licking and sucking on your clit until you were trembling with pleasure. His hands would grip your hips tightly, holding you in place as he continued to pleasure you.

**Jeonghan**

Jeonghan, with his sharp and cunning demeanor, would be playful and mischievous during this. He would smirk as he teased you, using his fingers to circle around your entrance before finally slipping one inside. He would slowly pump it in and out, watching your reactions intently. He would whisper dirty words into your ear, knowing exactly what to say to drive you crazy.

**Joshua**

Joshua would be gentle and loving when it comes to eating you out. He would look up at you with adoration in his eyes as he slowly kissed and licked your folds. He would whisper sweet nothings to you, telling you how beautiful and perfect you are. His tongue would flick against your clit with just the right amount of pressure, making you moan and arch your back in pleasure.

**Jun**

Jun would be more passionate and possessive when it comes to eating you out. He would grab your thighs and pull you closer to his face, burying himself between your legs. He would be eager to taste you, licking and sucking on your sensitive spots with abandon. He would let out soft growls and moans, clearly enjoying himself as he devoured you.

**Hoshi**

Hoshi would be energetic and enthusiastic, treating it like a performance. He would move his tongue quickly and skillfully, focusing on all the right spots to make you scream his name. He would hum and moan as he ate you out, his movements becoming more and more intense as he pushed you closer to the edge.

**Wonwoo**

Wonwoo would be more quiet and reserved, but still passionate. He would take his time to explore your body with his tongue, making sure to map out every inch of you. He would hold your legs apart, keeping you spread open for him as he delved deeper. He would look up at you through his eyelashes, his gaze intense and focused on your pleasure.

**Jihoon**

Jihoon would be more calculated and precise, his tongue working in a steady rhythm. He would focus on your clit, using his lips to create suction while he used his fingers to tease your entrance again. He would be patient and attentive, listening to your moans and cues to adjust his movements accordingly. He would look at you with a hint of smugness, knowing that he was driving you wild with just his mouth.

**Minghao**

Minghao would be playful and sensual, mixing in different techniques to keep you on edge. He would use his tongue to circle around your clit, then suddenly switch to flicking it rapidly. He would occasionally stop to nibble and bite on your thighs, leaving marks as he went. He would look up at you with a smirk, loving the way you squirmed and gasped under his touch.

**Mingyu**

Mingyu would be the biggest and the most enthusiastic when it comes to this. He would use his tongue like a tool, licking and prodding at every inch of you, wanting to taste every part of your body. He would eat you out with so much eagerness that you'd have to grip onto the sheets for dear life. He would make it his mission to make you come as many times as possible, not stopping until you were completely spent.

**Dokyeom**

Dokyeom would be the most talkative one, constantly praising you and showering you with compliments as he went down on you. He would say how beautiful you looked and how much he loves making you feel good. He would moan against you, the vibrations from his mouth adding to the intense pleasure. He would switch between slow and fast movements, teasing you until you were a whimpering mess.

**Seungkwan**

Seungkwan would be sassy and playful while teasing you. He would constantly tease you about how sensitive you are and how much you're enjoying it. He would use his words to rile you up even more, making you beg for his tongue. He would stop just before you come, leaving you hanging and desperate for release. He would chuckle at your frustrated whines, loving the control he has over you.

**Vernon**

Vernon would be gentle and affectionate, but still firm. He would take his time to appreciate your body, running his hands up and down your thighs as he kissed and licked you. He would look at you with adoration in his eyes, making sure you felt loved and cherished during this intimate moment. He would hold your hips gently, keeping you grounded as he slowly brought you to the brink of ecstasy.

**Chan**

Chan would be a mix of all the other members, but with a hint of innocence and shyness. He would look up at you with big eyes, blushing as he slowly licked your clit. He would be a little hesitant at first, but quickly gain confidence as he sees your reactions. He would be more experimental, trying out different techniques that he's learned from the others. He would listen to your body and your sounds, adapting his movements to what feels best for you.

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fairyhaos · 3 months ago

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tell me, do you feel the love?

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vcrnons · 4 months ago

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JOSHUA All My Love Japanese ver.

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euaphora · 1 year ago

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ܸ ྀི - I KNOW YOU MINE WHEN YOU LIE LIKE THAT

legs over shoulders

on the road

over his briefs(fav one yet)

over the dresser

recoil

riding on my feet

toe curling

please

sideways

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wonusite · 1 year ago

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Sweet Dreams

❝ You dream about a beautiful man nearly every time you fall asleep. After getting to know him and everything about him, you see him outside of your dreams—in a museum painting. ❞

PAIRING: joshua hong x female reader

GENRE: vampire au, reincarnation au, angst, smut

WORD COUNT: 10.1k

WARNINGS: vampire!joshua, human!reader, lucid dreaming, reincarnation, so much yearning, mentions of death, joshua is a brooding mess, protective!minghao, unprotected sex, blood play, biting, creampies

A/N: this has been long overdue, and i hope you guys like it! loosely based off this ask. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Fate.

A simple word that holds more power and venerability than any ruler of the middle kingdom. It’s a mystifying concept that follows no rules and simply is; something that can actively be changed but not avoided. Joshua learns this late in his long life—a derailment of his own making. The lesson comes to him in the form of a fiery witch running from her death.

As a creature that’s lived in solitude since he became immortal, it’s not in his nature to be helpful. It’s why he has no interest in saving the witch from the demons that are hunting her. This, however, doesn’t stop the insolent little witch from forcing herself into his sanctuary. He fights her on it, baring his fangs while saying the most despicable and bone chilling threats to her. The young witch isn’t fazed and makes it clear that he doesn’t have a choice in the matter.

In the end, he concedes. Not because she’s powerful enough to make him obey her, but because she reminds Joshua of himself when he was desperately clinging to his own survival. Perhaps that’s the reason he becomes inexplicably drawn to her. Josh almost feels like she’s bewitched him, and the most unusual part of it all is that he doesn’t care even if that is the case.

He seeks her out after he helps her despite knowing that it can’t possibly end well. Their kinds don’t mix, and it’s doubtful that two abominations can share something as sacred and beautiful as love. Fate has never allowed it before, but Joshua is foolish enough to try to defy destiny.

Courting the witch isn’t easy. Then again, anything that involves her never is. The witch is a firm believer in being reverent to the same fates that gave her the powers she wields while Joshua couldn’t care less about the fates that turned him into a monstrosity. This creates a disconnect between them because the witch is firm that she could never love such an irreverent creature.

This hardly deters him. Joshua is relentless in his chase, and after the longest decade of his life he’s finally able to win the witch’s thorn-covered heart.

And so, even just for the briefest moments, they’re allowed to create their own destiny with each other.

Loving someone, loving her, is the most addicting feeling he’s ever felt. The love he feels for the witch surpasses even that of his first love who he was convinced he’d never forget. Being with her is the happiest Joshua has ever felt, and he naively thinks it’ll last forever.

This all comes to an abrupt end when the witch finds out that it’s his fault the demons eradicated her coven. Yes, it was before Josh had met and fell in love with her, but that doesn’t change anything. It was still him who had put her on the brink of death and gotten her family and friends killed. Twisted as it is, he doesn’t regret his actions nor would he change them if he had an opportunity to do so.

And so, the love of his life becomes his most dangerous enemy.

It hurts. More so because she discards him and his love like they never meant anything in the first place.

The witch is cutthroat in her hatred. It’s not long before the children of the moon find his sanctuary and nearly send him to meet his maker. Her hexes nearly incapacitate him, but even all her acts of revenge aren’t enough to satiate the vengeance she seeks.

Slowly, the love they grew to feel for each other becomes wilted and corroded beyond repair.

Years pass, yet the feud never dies. Joshua is almost impressed by her determination to destroy him the same way he almost destroyed her.

Hatred has replaced love by now, and it’s almost impossible for him to believe he ever loved the witch in the first place. A decade passes, then two and three until eventually an entire century goes by with the two of them feeling this burning loathing. Their detrimental feelings and behavior push both Joshua and the witch to make a vow never to love again.

But fate has other plans for them.

As time goes on, they find themselves backed into a corner—together this time. Death has returned for them in the form of faes. Neither one of them is willing to relent and give up their land to the insignificant creatures who claimed to have it first. And so, they help each other one last time.

Fighting against inferior creatures together has always been like dancing for them, and it’s easy to fall back into a love language they created. By the end of their battle, they come out victorious. The two are grateful to each other even if neither of them say it outright.

Joshua feels a familiar ache in his chest the longer he stares at the witch who was once his. Feelings he thought were long gone rush back to the surface as if they’d never left in the first place. Perhaps they never really had. He’s never been one to go against his own desires, and so he reaches out for her, craving her skin against his if even for the last time.

Their embrace is sweet, but the kiss that follows is full of passion, longing, and ardent love that seems to have been buried deep within them the entire time. It’s almost like a dream to have her like this again, and now Joshua doesn’t plan on letting her go.

But once again, fate doesn’t leave him with a choice.

Humans grow more wary of the creatures they share the world with. Many go into hiding, but Joshua makes the mistake of thinking he can blend in with his prey. A hunter of his kind has found him, and as a vampire with no coven, he’s left vulnerable. It’s even worse when the hunter and his clan discover his lover and what she is.

It was a peaceful night when they’re attacked. Escaping death doesn’t seem possible, but as always the witch assured him that she has a solution. His love makes him a promise as she casts a spell that will hide his presence. A promise that she’ll find him and reunite with him in every lifetime. He’s confused by her words, but has no time to question her as the spell takes over and dulls his senses until he’s unconscious.

If he’d known his love was going to sacrifice herself for him, he would’ve taken a million wooden stakes to the heart rather than continue existing in a world without her.

Centuries later, he’s never been able to forget her or what her presence had done to his life. Joshua is left alone in a world that now seems intolerable without his witch in it. Cruel irony reminds him that the solitude he once basked in feels suffocating now. All he’s left with is a gaping hole that constantly reminds him of how he lost his one true love.

Joshua eventually joins a coven, but they offer little comfort. At this point in his immortality, he only sticks around them out of habit. It’s not that he isn’t fond of them—he is, most of the time—but it’s not the same as having his lover by his side.

After going through the eternal test of time, Joshua still yearns for her; craves her as much as the blood that he feeds on. It’s the reason he’s spent the last two centuries looking for the one person who filled his heart with so much love.

And he’ll stop at nothing until he finds her.

The first time it happened, you thought it was nothing more than a dream.

Which it was, but it felt different—it was different. Never in your life had you dreamt such a beautiful dream that felt so real and almost indistinguishable from reality. The most memorable part was the euphoric feeling it evoked from you.

Well, that’s not exactly right. There was one single element that had left you unable to forget the lucid dream. One that you believed was responsible for your subconscious forcing you into those dreams every time you fell asleep.

Unhealthy as it is, you chase the lucid dreams. Every night, you look forward to your sleep with the hope of once again being wrapped up in one of those lovely dreams. Any free time you’re left with is used to sleep just so you can escape to the ethereal dreamland your mind has created.

The dreams have ensnared you and make you crave and long for them as if you’re under some sort of spell. It’s become a bit of an obsession because even when you’re with other people it’s all you can think about. And yet you’re unable to let go of your obsession in spite of how unhealthy and irrational it is.

The scene in front of you is familiar, but you can’t place where you’ve seen the old castle that looks like it’s straight out of the medieval times. You step forward, feet moving on their own as you walk past the large doors. Servants run along with their head down, and you’re not sure why it makes you feel satisfied that they seem to be terrified of you.

“Y/N.”

You turn at the sound of a mellifluous voice. Once again, it’s the beautiful man who’d been visiting you in your dreams.

“Shua.” You call affectionately, running to him as he opens his arms for you.

As always, he catches you easily. You wrap your arms around his neck, softly giggling into his hair as he spins you around. “Where have you brought me this time?”

“This is where I live.” He tells you as you pull back to look at his face. “Do you like it?”

You look around again. The feeling of familiarity doesn’t go away as you inspect your surroundings. Joshua gently puts you down, but doesn’t release you from his embrace. His stare is gentle and observant, curious on how you’re going to react to what he’s showing you.

“This is really where you live?” You wonder in awe. “Are you a king or something?”

His pretty laugh makes you look back at him. Your heart leaps up into your throat when you see the fond look he’s giving you. It’s been months of being on the receiving end of his affectionate stare, but you’re not sure you’ll stop feeling bashful when you catch it.

“I am not. Does that disappoint you?”

You shake your head. “No, but it does make me wonder how old you actually are. Older than Dracula?”

All Josh can do is laugh and laugh. You’re not sure what he finds so funny, but as usual you do not get the chance to ask. The familiar pressure on your bones gets more intense with every passing moment. It’s how you know you’re on the verge of being pulled out of your blissful dream. You can’t even open your mouth to say goodbye because you’re abruptly yanked out of your subconscious before you can.

It’s always hard to keep going on with your day normally after you dream about Josh. You can never really function afterwards, not how you usually would.

“—even listening to me?”

You snap back into reality, realizing that Jeonghan has been talking to you this entire time. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes and gives you an accusatory look that confuses you. His eyebrows are raised as he leans forward. “I was saying that Soonyoung thinks you’re fucking someone.”

“What?” You splutter, suddenly feeling extremely flustered.

“I told him there’s no way that’s true because lately you’ve been holed up in your room sleeping every chance you get!”

You manage to not choke on your spit and give your friend an indignant glare. “Both you and Soonyoung need to worry about your own sex lives.”

The gleam in his eye changes, and you realize too late that you’ve made a mistake. “Wait. Are you actually fucking someone?”

“You know I’m not!” You hiss, starting to feel embarrassed.

Clearly, Jeonghan doesn’t believe you. He stares at you before something seems to click in his head. Your nervous stare and angry pout are telltale signs of deceit. His jaw drops a bit as he lets out an affronted squeak.

“No way. That’s why you’ve been in such a good mood lately!” He says with a conniving laugh. “And here I thought that night cream I recommended is the reason you’ve been glowing lately.”

Maybe the most embarrassing part about this is not that he’s trying to discuss your sex life (or lack thereof) at the local cafe and not wine night, but the fact that this alleged glow has nothing to do with a man—not a real one, anyway. But Jeonghan doesn’t need to know that.

“You would’ve heard me if that was true.”

Jeonghan’s ears slowly turn red as he pouts in disappointment. He really hoped you’d managed to break your three month long dry spell, and he also wanted to be right. It’s almost suspicious that he isn’t because he usually is. You’ve been a little too smiley lately like you have some hidden lover.

“If you say so.” He mutters bitterly.

This would be the point where you’d usually panic since Yoon Jeonghan can never be one to let anything go if he feels like he’s right. You feel at ease though because there’s no way he could ever find out about Josh.

“By the way… you’re definitely going to be gone this weekend, right?” Jeonghan suddenly asks in a tone you recognize all too well.

You try not to gag as you nod. “Yes. I already bought the tickets and Hao is in the city setting up his apartment so I have a place to stay while I’m up there.”

Jeonghan smirks victoriously. He nods, not even trying to hide how pleased he is as he pulls out his phone. Suddenly, he’s very grateful that you and Minghao have such an interest in history. When he’s done sending a message you would definitely call sleazy, he just laughs at your disgusted expression.

“Don’t give me that look. Not all of us have to practice celibacy like you.”

“Whatever.” You scoff with a roll of your eyes. “Just keep it in your room this time. I better not find any stains on the couch when I get back.”

He only laughs at you with a promise that you can’t think of as sincere.

“Are you playing with your food again?”

The voice sounds distant as Joshua is gently pulled out of the trance he’s used to being in now. He slow blinks, remnants of the beautiful vision still clear in his mind. Junhui’s words don’t bother him like they usually would’ve. Not when he finally feels alive for the first time in centuries. Still, he can’t control the annoyance he feels that his brother thinks this subject is something that can be joked and talked about lightly.

“You and Soonyoung are the only heathens who play with food.” Joshua’s tone is clipped, bordering on that murderous one that pops up any time someone mentions his latest obsession.

Junhui only laughs, head cocking to the side in interest. “I’m curious. Did you really find the grand love of your life, or is it just some girl who happens to look like her?”

“His obsession wouldn’t be so profound if it was a girl who merely looks like her.” Comes a voice from the top of the grand stairs.

They look up to see the oldest and the youngest of the coven coming down the stairs. Soonyoung doesn’t bother to hide his amused smirk while Minghao wears the same impassive expression he had when Joshua met him. His lack of reaction is the reason why he’s often the voice of reason in the coven, but his callous way of speaking never offers any comfort.

“Our brother is looking for the soul of his beloved—a soul that cannot be replicated nor imitated. Even if he’s to find her doppelgänger, he will not love her completely or sincerely.” Minghao says he takes a seat near the burning fireplace.

Soonyoung sits on the other end of the couch before he raises an eyebrow at Josh. He lets out a mocking snicker. “It’s giving stalker.”

As the most recently turned, their youngest has developed a proclivity for imitating the current slang. Joshua understands it (to an extent), but finds it folly. Then again, he doesn’t think its ridiculous when that person uses it.

But of course, that’s different.

Josh doesn’t bother to sneer at him for his snide remark. As a creature who hasn’t found a mate in the entire century he’s been alive, Soonyoung couldn’t possibly understand the ardent need to be close to the person chosen to be your mate.

“You still haven’t answered my question.” Junhui points out, sounding almost bored now. “Have you found her? Your one true love?”

When Joshua smiles, it’s so pretty that even Minghao can’t help but stare. “I have.”

“Are you going to turn her?”

Soonyoung’s question hangs in the air, and as much as Josh wants to hiss at him to mind his own business, he sees how Junhui and Minghao are also looking at him. Turning someone isn’t as simple as it used to be—if it could ever be considered simple. Now there were too many factors and too many risks involved.

“I have to find her physically before I can think of anything else.” Josh sighs deeply.

“Brother.” Minghao says in his serious tone. “Think of your next moves carefully. You’ve found her reincarnation, but she doesn’t remember you, and there’s no guarantee that she ever will.”

For once, the younger ones don’t say anything teasing or goading. They look at him just as solemnly as Minghao is. It’s a harsh truth that Joshua had acknowledged long ago but not fully accepted.

His love doesn’t remember him. This is a fact.

But even if she never does, he doesn’t plan on letting her go. Not again.

“You’re unhappy.”

The observation is astute, and even though it’s been months, you can’t get used to how easily Josh can see through you. It shouldn’t have the affect on you that it does, but there’s just something about having someone know you so well that makes your heart jerk with emotion. Part of you feels insane for feeling this way because this man is just a figment of your imagination created by your subconscious.

Josh smiles placatingly when he sees your pout. He’s sure that you’re not aware that you do it, which makes it all the more cute in his eyes.

“Work hasn’t been great lately.” You say honestly, only hesitating a moment before telling him the rest. “Also... Jeonghan set me up on this blind date. Which wouldn’t be a big deal, but I haven’t been on a date in forever.”

You’re not sure why it feels like you’re saying something absolutely heart wrenching. If you had to describe it, it’s almost like you’re admitting to cheating or something similar which is fucking insane since Josh isn’t your boyfriend—or real, for that matter.

There’s a shift in his kind eyes. A cold rage settles in the depths of his dark irises that makes you feel like you’re staring an evil creature in the face. Before you can ponder it, the expression is is gone so fast that you almost think you imagined it.

“You don’t have to go.” He finally says, and you wonder if he actually sounds like he’s pleading or if it’s just something your subconscious is hoping for.

A teasing smile stretches your lips. “Yeah? Should I just stay here with you, instead?”

Joshua wishes he could say yes. Stay with me and never leave my side again. The words are on the tip of his tongue, and even though he’s dying to say them, he knows he shouldn’t. In this lifetime and your previous one, he had to be patient when courting you. Clearly some things never changed.

“Don’t look so excited.” You joke when you see him hesitate.

His laugh is pretty and soft. You’re not sure why the sound comforts you in a way that almost feels familiar. As if that’s the one sound that could take away any horrible feeling you’ve ever experienced. The longer you listen to the dulcet sound, the more it makes your heart ache for a reason you can’t understand. It’s a type of yearning that feels deeper than the normalcy of seeing him every day.

“I wish you weren’t a dream.”

Joshua’s laughter dies down and the smile slips off his face at hearing your words. You almost regret saying them, but it’s too late to take them back. Not that you would since they’re the absolute truth. He knows you better than most of your friends do, and it’s hard not to feel this intense affection for him. The crazy part of it all is that you can literally feel how much he adores you too.

“Maybe you’re my dream.” Josh’s smile is full of longing and sadness.

Before you can respond, you’re abruptly pulled out of the dream by the blaring sound of a car horn. You startle awake, bleary vision belatedly registering that you’re now in the city. Minghao looks at you with wide eyes, a startled laugh slipping past his lips. “Are you okay?”

You nod wearily, taking a moment to shake of the intense emotions your dream had left you with. It’s clear that Minghao doesn’t fully believe you, but he doesn’t press the subject and keeps driving toward museum.

Being at the museum doesn’t help you as much as you hope. The artifacts and paintings are intriguing, but your irritating mind only keeps associating everything with Josh. He’s always talked like someone from another time so looking at ancient items and old paintings naturally makes you keep picturing his face.

“For someone who kept begging me to clear my schedule so we could come here, you don’t look very excited.”

You give Minghao a guilty look because you know how busy he is. “Sorry. I’m just kind of distracted.”

“And why is that?”

It’s not that you don’t trust Minghao. You do, but you can’t tell him that you’re infatuated with a man who shows up in your dreams.

“I haven’t been sleeping well.”

Your friend raises an eyebrow at you. As usual Minghao sees right through your half-truth. “You’ve been having nightmares?”

“Not exactly.” You say. The resolve to keep your secret quickly dissolved when Minghao gives you a look that somehow always compels you to do what he wants. “I can’t sleep because I keep dreaming of a guy.”

“A guy?” Minghao raises his eyebrows in a way that reminds you of Jeonghan.

“It’s not like that.” You say, skin heating up in embarrassment. “I don’t even think he’s real. He just keeps appearing in my dreams, and I feel crazy every time I think about him.”

Minghao doesn’t laugh or tell you you’re crazy. Instead he looks at you with a sharpened gaze that looks like it holds a certain amount of concern and something else you can’t discern. If his heart was capable of beating, his heart rate would’ve spiked at the information you told him.

You’re vague in your description (which was impressive because his gift is powerful enough to get people to admit to murder), but it’s enough to have his mind reeling. Is it possible that you’d fallen into the clutches of an incubus? Minghao isn’t overly fond of humans, but you’re different. He can’t let you become the prey of such a lascivious creature.

“I have some tea that’s good for sleeping." He says as normally as he can as you two walk along the museum. “When we get back to my place, I’ll give you some.”

You nod silently, not entirely sure if his teas will help with your lucid dreaming. Even if they did, it’s not like you want to stop seeing this imaginary man that makes you feel more loved than you ever had. But there’s a part of you that knows you can’t keep sleeping with the hopes of seeing Josh again.

The inner turmoil you’re feeling is interrupted when Minghao pulls you to the section he’d been dying to see from the beginning. His laughter immediately makes you come back down to earth. It’s not like your friend never laughs, but this one is full and louder than you’ve ever heard it. You’re not sure why he finds the painting of a duke so funny. Just as you’re about to question him, you see the painting and feel the world around you come to a stop.

It feels like your heart stopped beating and dropped down to your stomach. Your usually quiet mind is reeling, trying to fathom what you’re seeing. There’s no way.

The painting is of a man, but not just any man.

It’s Josh.

Your Josh.

You keep blinking as if another face will appear in the very old painting. If you felt crazy before, the feeling worsens the longer you stare at the oils that form the face you’ve come to memorize and love. The description of the painting says the man born in 1714 was a famous duke notorious for starting a rebellion against the crown.

“So this is the only painting of the Hong Jisoo?” Your friend cackles, but you’re not sure what’s so funny.

It’s good that he’s so distracted by whatever it is he finds so funny because you’re about two seconds away from breaking down. How is it possible that some duke from centuries ago was appearing in your dreams? Is it possible that you’d somehow seen his image before and projected it into your dreams? You don’t remember even reading about him, and it only makes you feel more crazy.

Back at Minghao’s luxury apartment, you can’t stop thinking about that stupid painting of Hong Jisoo. How is it possible for you to dream about a person that was alive centuries ago? It doesn’t make sense, and the more you think about it, the more freaked out you feel.

“Here.” Hao says as he hands you a warm mug of tea. “Drink it to see if it helps. I’ll give you some to take home if you like it.”

You thank him, really hoping this puts an end to your unhealthy dreams.

“It’s not working!” Josh growls angrily. “There’s something blocking me from seeing her. I’m sure of it.”

Soonyoung and Junhui roll their eyes. Josh has been complaining about not being able to transcend into his true love’s subconscious for the last three hours, and it’s starting to drive them insane. It’s not that they’re not sympathetic, but it was quite literally the only thing the older vampire could talk about. Not to mention the fact that after months of visiting his mate every day, he did nothing to figure out where she was—a total waste in their opinion.

Before Josh can keep repeating the same frustrated things he’s been griping about all morning, they hear the door open and the familiar sound of boots clacking against the marble floor.

“Minghao!” Soonyoung cries when the oldest of the coven walks into the living room. “Finally, you’re back! Jisoo hasn’t stopped whining about his mate since you left! You need to put a stop to him!”

Minghao sets down his suitcases with an exhausted sigh. “What’s going on?”

“He claims there’s a barrier preventing him from entering his mate’s subconscious.” Junhui explains, sending a skeptical look Joshua’s way. “Which is impossible because a mere human isn’t capable of blocking his gift.”

While that is true, there are certain things humans have done for centuries to ward off creatures of the night. However, it is strange that there’s a sudden block to his mate’s subconscious after being left vulnerable for so many months.

“Perhaps your mate has realized that you’re a nefarious creature and not just a figment of her imagination.” Minghao muses as he goes to sit at his usual place by the fire. “If that’s the case, she may have sought out a witch to block her psyche from unsavory visitors.”

The dark look Josh sends his way is amusing to the rest. Maybe it’s cruel to disregard the anguish his brother clearly feels, but being empathetic has never been one of Minghao’s character traits. Even so, some of the humanity he once had still lingers within him.

“However, if you truly wish to find her I can contact Jihoon—”

“No.” Josh snaps immediately. The growl in his voice is menacing as his eyes darken. “I’ll find her on my own.”

The silence that follows is tense until Soonyoung breaks it by insisting on seeing pictures from Minghao’s trip. As always, he obliges to the youngest’s request, tossing his phone over without taking his eyes off Josh.

“If that were possible you would have already found her.”

It’s a frustrating truth. He hadn’t been able to figure out anything that would help him find you because he didn’t want to scare you off. Now he regrets playing the part of a gentleman because it feels like he’s lost you all over again.

“Is this the human you’re always talking about?”

Usually, Josh doesn’t take any interest in humans aside from his meals, but the way Minghao’s sharp gaze switches to an almost fond one intrigues him enough to look at the screen Soonyoung is holding out toward them.

It’s like his heartbeat comes back to life when he sees a video of a beautiful girl staring at one of his old swords.

“Yes. That’s—”

“Y/N.”

Minghao looks at Josh in surprise. He’s incredulous, but it’s soon replaced by horror when he realizes why his brother is looking at the phone with a predatory gaze.

“You…” Minghao’s icy tone makes the younger ones still. They recognize the murderous intent behind that tone instantly. “You’re the one who’s been invading her dreams.”

Josh snarls at his oldest friend. “You’re the one responsible for the barrier.”

It’s like watching two animals raising their hackles at one another. Except both of them are capable of destroying each other and everything around them without caring.

Junhui is quick to step in, holding a firm hand to Minghao’s chest. “She’s his mate.”

It’s meant to make him see reason, but all it does is anger Minghao.

“A mate that he betrayed time and time again!” His words make them all flinch. “You’re the reason those hunters found her and burned her alive!”

Never has a silence so thick and tense surrounded them before. It’s a low blow to bring up Josh’s greatest pain in such a way, but Minghao is beyond seeing reason at this point.

“Both of you need to calm down.” Soonyoung says as he stands in the middle.

“Do you have feelings for her?” Josh demands, not understanding why the person who had helped him search for his mate’s reincarnation for centuries was suddenly acting this way.

“She’s a pure soul.” Minghao says, sounding a little defeated. “One that doesn’t deserve to become a monster like us.”

It’s tense and silent again, but this time the air feels different. All four of them knew how painful and awful it was to turn. Back then, they had been the unlucky ones to survive an attack when they were meant to be someone’s food. Minghao wouldn’t wish that on anyone, least of all you.

“Let her decide.” Soonyoung breaks the silence, being reasonable for the first time in a long time. He looks to Josh, gaze as serious as ever. “If you really love her, tell her the truth and let her decide what to do.”

Minghao has always been an enigma. He’s private to the point where you sometimes feel like you don’t know him at all. It’s why you’re so surprised when he invites you over to his main house which is basically synonymous with prohibited. He never invites anyone there, not even Jeonghan who’s known him longer than you have.

Your friend��s home is expectedly opulent and beautiful, but there’s also this ominous air surrounding it. Minghao remains silent as he leads you to the entrance. His somber attitude isn’t exactly uncharacteristic. He’s naturally quiet and serious, but right now he almost seems angry. You can tell his mind is far away, light years away even.

Before you can think to question him, he leads you to the living room and sits you down on one of the couches. His cold hands don’t move from your shoulders even after you’re seated. You look up at him in curiosity because he seems to be contemplating something.

“Don’t be angry with me.” His tone is softer than you’ve ever heard it, and you have to wonder what he’s done for him to plead with you like this. (Xu Minghao does not beg.)

Hands fall from your shoulders as Minghao side steps out of the way. Everything goes in slow motion from then on. He’s stepped out of the way to reveal a man who you recognize very well. Your heart jumps and starts to beat erratically as you take in his ethereal features.

What’s happening feels like a more intense version of what happened at the museum. Minghao’s friend(?) looks exactly like Josh. He even looks at you like Josh does.

“Y/N.”

The organ in your chest throbs at the sound because it’s so soft and pretty, just like it is in your dreams. He sounds so similar to Josh that you feel insane for wanting to run into this man’s arms like you always do with Josh in your dreams.

Your mind is a beat behind, and it’s only after this stranger called your name that you realize Minghao had apologized to you before he appeared. When you look over to your friend, he’s observing you carefully in a way you can’t understand.

“What’s going on? What is this?” You ask, feeling like you’ve been set up.

There’s a thick silence, and just when you contemplate on getting up to leave, the unknown guy falls to his knees in front of you.

“Please forgive me.”

Your eyes practically pop out of your head at the unsolicited apology. “I– What?”

The silence is uncomfortable, and you can only look back to Minghao for an explanation.

“You’ve seen Jisoo before—in your dreams.” Minghao says slowly as if it pains him to tell you.

Jisoo?

“When you told me that a man kept reappearing in your dreams, I thought you were being preyed on by an incubus.” Minghao chuckles bitterly. “But I was a fool not to see that the truth was much worse.”

“Incubus?” You whisper incredulously. “You mean those demons that fuck people while they’re asleep?”

Neither men react to your crude words. They’re looking at you solemnly as if Minghao didn’t just say something completely insane. None of it makes sense nor does it provide you with the explanation you demanded.

“You can’t be serious! Incubuses—“

“Incubi.” Minghao corrects you. He regrets it as soon as he sees the dark look on your face.

“—don’t exist.” You finish through gritted teeth.

“They’re not the only demons running rampant on this earth.” Minghao says as he shares a look with the man who is still kneeling in front of you. “Just look at the monster in front of you and you’ll know what I’m saying is true.”

This Jisoo guy looks nothing like a monster. Not even as he’s giving your friend the most withering glare you’ve ever seen.

“Don’t give me that look. I brought her here so she can know the truth.”

At this point, you don’t know if they’re friends or enemies with the way they’re glowering at each other. And you still don’t know what truth they’re talking about, either.

“Jisoo has been trying to find you for centuries.” Minghao finally says, eyes softening just the tiniest bit when he looks back at you.

You don’t say anything because it all sounds like some crazy lie. Minghao isn’t the type to pull pranks, but there’s no other logical explanation for what’s happening. And yet, it also isn’t possible that he could know what the man from your dreams looked like and somehow find someone who looks exactly like him for his prank.

“We’re vampires.” Jisoo says, voice soft and comforting. “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true.”

“Prove it.”

Your words come out before you can stop them. It’s not what you meant to say (not right away, anyway), but you don’t try to backtrack. On the off chance that they’re not pulling some elaborate prank, you need to know that you’re not crazy for kind of believing what they’re saying.

Minghao and Jisoo are looking at you with wide eyes, but the challenging look on your face doesn’t waver. They both know you enough to realize you aren’t going to believe them until they prove that they’re not lying.

Jisoo grins, but it seems bitter in a way. “Okay. Just… don’t be scared.”

You raise an eyebrow when his smile stretches further. It’s not until you see four of his teeth elongating into literal fangs that you feel your pulse start to race. His eyes have darkened into an inhuman shade of black that reminds you of a demon. Now you understood what Minghao meant when he called Jisoo a monster.

But that also means…

In a panic, you look to your friend. Much to your horror, he too is bearing those monstrous characteristics now. Dark eyes and fangs that make them look like the monsters they claim to be. It feels like you’re in one of your lucid dreams, and in the back of your mind you hope that’s what this is.

“Did you bring me here to kill me?” You’re surprised that your voice comes out as calm as it does, and even though you’re terrified, you can’t react how you know you should be.

“We would never hurt you.” Jisoo says, features slowly reverting back to normal. “No matter what, I won’t let anyone or anything bring you harm.”

It’s crazy that he’s promising you this with what feels like genuine sincerity, and it’s even crazier that it makes your chest warm with affection. You press your lips together, trying to make sense of how any of this is actually possible.

“You’re the reincarnation of Jisoo’s true love.” Minghao breaks the heavy silence. “He’s been searching for your soul since your untimely death.”

“That’s why you came into my dreams.” You whisper, not sure how to feel about this alleged truth.

“Yes.” Jisoo says, voice soft as ever. “I called myself Josh since it’s a modern name. You can still call me that if you wish.”

You stay silent, trying to deal with the onslaught of emotions you’re feeling without revealing any on your face. It’s hard, but you manage as you look back at your friend. “And you knew about this the entire time?”

“I didn’t know he’d been invading your dreams.” Minghao says honestly. “If I had—”

Minghao cuts his sentence short, and you can tell he’s trying his best to keep his emotions in check. It’s clear that he doesn’t like the idea of you being the reincarnation of Josh’s true love. You don’t understand why he brought you to meet him if that’s the case.

“Minghao.” Josh’s tone takes a threatening tone that you never thought him capable of emitting.

“Tell her.” Minghao says, clearly unfazed by Joshua’s sudden malicious attitude. “She has a right to know the truth before you think you can spend the rest of eternity with her.”

It’s silent for a moment before you see Josh’s shoulders slump. He looks slightly defeated and nervous. Seeing him in distress makes you uncomfortable, and you have to wonder if these are your actual feelings or something beyond your control.

“I first met you five years after I was first turned.” He starts, eyes begging for understanding. “You were running from a clan of demons who murdered your coven.”

The air is tense. You can feel your heart start to throb with hurt that you can’t place. A familiar burning sensation starts to poke at the back of your eyes, but you can’t understand why. “You saved me?”

Minghao clears his throat, eyes threatening.

“Unwillingly.” He admits, head hanging a little lower. “I was content in my solitude, and helping a witch didn’t sound appealing to me.”

“He also didn’t want to help a witch that belonged to the coven he helped exterminate.”

Minghao’s blunt statement makes your blood run cold. There’s a strange feeling that manifests itself in your chest. It’s an odd mixture of resentment, anger, and heartbreak. The feelings are familiar yet foreign. You feel the tears fall from your eyes before you can even think to hold them back. It’s all new information, but something in your bones recognizes the hurt and devastation.

“You killed my family.” The words aren’t yours, but in a strange way it feels like they are. “You almost killed me.”

“It was before I fell in love with you.” Josh sounds defeated. “Back then I was only concerned with my own survival, and I was a fool to let it get in the way of my love for you.”

Again, the air becomes tense. It makes Minghao almost regret doing this, but you ultimately have to know the truth. All of it.

“Tell her how you got her killed.”

More tears keep spilling from your eyes, and you can’t fathom the fact that they don’t feel like yours. A gentle hand wipes them away. Through blurry vision you can see Josh looking pained as he gently cradles your face in his large hand.

“I refused to go into hiding after the humans started to become more wary of our existence. Because of that, you and I were attacked by a group of hunters.” Josh feels a pain he hasn’t in centuries just talking about this to you of all people. “You protected me with your magic. I don’t know why you saved a wicked creature like me instead of yourself, but I really wish you hadn’t.”

The tears have stopped now, but Josh’s thumb is still gently caressing your face. His touch is cold yet comforting. You let out a shaky sigh, not sure what to do with all the information you’ve been given.

“This is why Minghao feels that I don’t deserve you, and maybe he’s right. But I’ve always been a selfish creature which is why I can’t give you up. Not in this lifetime or any other.”

Josh says it tenderly, but somehow you feel like you’ve become his prey.

Sometimes you wonder if letting Josh get so close to you is a mistake. Minghao seems to think it is even if he doesn’t tell you outright. Still, at least he’s supportive of your decision (as much as he can be, anyway). In spite of the fact that you now know the man of your dreams is a dangerous predator, you don’t feel unsafe when you’re with him. There’s also the fact that you can literally see the love he has for you every time you look at him.

Giving into him is the easiest thing you’ve ever done. It feels natural and right, especially since he’s so sweet to you. You feel yourself fall harder every time you’re with him. He knows you better than anyone and treats you like you’re his everything.

Your relationship feels completely surreal and fast paced, but in an odd way it also feels like it’s not fast enough. The feeling has something to do with your past life you’re sure. After all, Josh had been waiting centuries for you to reincarnate.

He must’ve been so lonely.

You suck in a quiet breath as the thought comes to you, one that feels like it came from deep in your subconscious and is not entirely yours. Josh’s eyes snap open at the sound. He’s looking straight at you from where he has his head in your lap.

“What’s wrong, darling?”

Unlike Minghao, Josh doesn’t have the power of coercion, but you’re still unable to lie to him. (Unwilling is a better term, but, details.)

“Did you really not have another lover after I died?” Your question isn’t accusatory, and part of you hopes he says yes. “Like you never even hooked up with someone else in three centuries?”

Josh’s airy laughter makes your chest warm. He brings your intertwined hands to his lips, placing a tender kiss on the back of yours. “If you do not believe me, I shall bring Minghao and have him use his gift on me.”

He’s teasing you, but you also know he’s dead serious. It shouldn’t thrill you so much that he’s willing to do just about anything for you—even subject himself to Minghao who still harbors a bit of a grudge towards him.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you, I just…” You let out a quiet sigh. “You must’ve been really lonely.”

The way you look heartbroken and guilty isn’t satisfying, but it is alleviating somehow. You truly haven’t changed. The beautiful, kind soul he fell in love with remains intact, and he can’t be more grateful for that.

“At first I was. Then I met Minghao and joined his coven. They made it more bearable.”

You bring the hand that’s not attached to Josh’s to his head and run a gentle hand through his hair. “It must’ve been hard.”

Josh only offers you a hum. He can’t deny that it was, but he also doesn’t want to keep making you feel bad with all the details. That would have to be for another time.

“How many dreams did you invade before you finally found me?” You suddenly ask, wondering just how many psyches he had to go through over the course of 300 years.

“None.” His smile is a little bitter. “I’m not a incubus, so I can only enter your subconscious.”

The confused look on your face makes him let out a quiet laugh. It’s so innocent that it’s hilarious. Especially because you don’t remember that the restriction to his gift was your doing.

“Every time I tried to use my gift, I couldn’t. That’s how I knew you hadn’t been reincarnated yet. As soon as you were born I was able to tell, but I still couldn’t get into your psyche until you were ready to let me in—this is all curtesy of you, of course.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.” He laughs. “Because I can’t dream, you bestowed this gift on me so I would be able to experience a dreamlike state again. Since you didn’t want the bloodthirsty heathen that I was back then to invade the minds of unsuspecting humans, you put all these limitations on my gift.”

His laugh is cute as he reminisces. It makes you smile too until you think of something.

The other day, Josh had mentioned he used to feed off of you in his past life because it tasted different and apparently it was like a kink for both of you. It freaked you out at first, but lately you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Honestly, the more the image plagued your mind, the harder it was not to feel turned on by it. You wonder if it would hurt and if you would like the hurt.

“Do you want to feed on me?”

If Josh’s heart was capable of beating, he has no doubt it would’ve been harshly pounding against his rib cage. He slowly gets up, feeling his cock throb and his throat itch.

“Darling—”

“You’ve never done it, and I was wondering if it was something you want to do.”

Of course he wanted to do it. Your scent is mouthwatering, and he just knows you taste divine. Up until now he hadn’t brought it up because he didn’t want you to think that’s all he wanted. All you two have done this past month is share some kisses, and that was perfectly fine. If that’s all you were willing to give him he’s gladly take it so long as you let him be part of your life.

Josh swallows thickly as he contemplates his answer. While it sort of sounds like you’re offering, he can’t assume anything. Plus he doesn’t want to seem like the monster Minghao told you he is.

When you see him hesitate, you make a decision that really isn’t all that hard for you. With an enticing smile, you tilt your head the slightest bit and offer your neck to him. “Bite me.”

In a split second, Josh pulls you on his lap so you’re straddling him. You gasp quietly when he sits you directly on his hardening cock. His eyes are dark like on the day he revealed himself to you. In the back of your mind, you know this is a dangerous game you’re playing, but you don’t feel one shred of regret or fear.

“I’ll be gentle.” He promises, voice breathy and needy.

Josh trails gentle kisses up and down your neck with patience that you find impressive. His fangs tease the tender skin as he opens his mouth slightly, and it’s almost like you can feel it throb in anticipation. With one last sweet kiss, Joshua sinks his teeth into your skin until you can feel a stabbing pain.

You gasp out a moan at the feeling. The pain lasts a second before you feel it rapidly fade. It’s replaced by images that invade the forefront of your mind. Memories that you don’t remember rush forward as if they were aching to be freed from the depths of your mind. There’s so many, and in spite of the fact that they pass through your mind quickly, you see every one of them.

When you come back down to reality, Josh is still drinking from you. He groans into your skin, reluctantly pulling away and licking the puncture wound he’s left behind. Josh continues to press kisses along your skin and whispered praises that you can’t help but melt into him.

“Jisoo.” You breathe out softly.

Joshua freezes when he hears what you’ve called him. He pulls back, eyes wide as he takes in the way you’re looking at him. Your gaze has always been full of affection, but now it’s full of ardent love that reminds him of the way you looked at him all those centuries ago.

“I’ve missed you.”

“Y/N…” Josh sounds breathless as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“I’m sorry it took me this long to remember.” You murmur as your bring a hand up to caress his cool cheek. “But I guess it’s only fair since you left me first.”

“It’s my biggest regret.” Josh says honestly, grip tightening on you.

You hum, trailing your thumb over his lips. He opens his mouth the slightest bit so you can touch his fangs just like you used to do once upon a time. Goosebumps cover your skin at the familiarity of it all. The feelings in your chest deepen impossibly as you replay all the memories that slowly keep coming to mind. You thought it would be impossible to love Josh any more than you already did, but once again you were proven wrong.

You let out a shocked squeak when he pulls you closer to him. His face is shoved into the side of your neck that he didn’t bite, breathing in your addicting scent. “I was so afraid that you wouldn’t remember.”

“If you wouldn’t have been such a gentleman and bitten me sooner it wouldn’t have taken me so long.” You laugh, hugging him tighter.

The two of you stay like that until you shift and realize you’re still sitting on his hard cock. In a flash, the hot memory of Josh ravishing you back then goes straight to your cunt. You lick your lips and decide that you both have been waiting long enough to be with each other again.

“I’m impressed you kept your chastity just for me.” You purr into his ear, gently grinding down on his cock. “Such a loyal lover until the end.”

Josh doesn’t hesitate to take you to bed, cock aching to be inside you once again. He’s gentle when he finally gets you naked, eyes full of desire and love. “So fucking pretty.”

A breathy moan escapes you when his cold hands start to caress your body. His lips trails your neck, gently teasing you with his sharp teeth. Your skin heats up at the attention, and you feel like your floating by the time Josh gets his dick out to finally give you what you’ve been wanting.

“I missed you so much.” He groans as his throbbing cock slowly eases past your wet folds.

You moan along with him, hands finding his to lace your fingers together. “Missed you too, my love.”

Josh’s cock twitches inside you when he hears the pet name come out of your pretty little mouth. His leaking tip brushes against your cervix as your legs wrap around his hips. His pace is slow at first, trying to savor the feeling of your hot, tight cunt wrapped around him. He buries his face into your neck, licking and biting at the skin as his thrusts start to get tougher and deeper.

Your moaning is loud, and you’re amazed that he still knows which angels to hit after so much time. It’s like you’re seeing stars when Josh gently bites at your skin. He does it teasingly until you’re begging him to bite you again.

“Stop teasing.” You whine wantonly, hips bucking up to meet his thrusts.

His chuckle is low and has your pussy clamping down on his cock, drenching it in your arousal. You can’t remember the last time you were so turned on. It hasn’t been long, but it already feels like you’re about to come.

“Seeing you fall apart like this is my favorite thing.” You can feel his sinister smirk against your neck. “It’s been too long since I last saw it.”

Josh lets go of one of your hands to bring a thumb to your clit. He starts to rub slow circles on the sensitive nub as his thrusts grow more ravenous. You cry out in pleasure when his thick cock hits your sweet spot roughly. Your back arches in pleasure as you feel your juices start to coat his heavy balls.

“Never letting you go again.” Joshua growls lowly, more to himself than you. “All mine.”

With his possessive declaration, he sinks his fangs into your neck for a second time. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you violently come all over his big cock.

“Fuck!” You cry out, hips moving against his arms he continues to fuck you through your high.

He’s licking at your open would now, sharp thrusts angled just right to have you on the cusp of another orgasm. Joshua pulls back, pink lips painted scarlet with your blood. He looks ravenous, and you think you might actually come again from how hot he looks.

“That’s it, darling.” Josh sounds insatiable. “Cream all over me.”

It’s not long before the sight of you completely fucked out triggers his own orgasm. Thick ropes of cum shoot inside your pulsing walls, painting them white with his seed. His moans are as pretty as you remember, and they mix in with your perfectly as he fucks his cum deeper inside you.

“Fuck me again.” You pant out, still longing for the second orgasm he was coaxing out of you.

Josh’s smirks as he flips you over on your front. “Still as insatiable as ever, darling.”

You look back at him with a laugh. “Like you’re any better. So hurry and fill me up again.”

You’ll never get sick of the feeling of his cold skin on yours as he grips your ass. Josh’s large hands rub and squeeze before you feel his throbbing cock tease your messy cunt. You let out a needy whine, tilting your hips up more to offer yourself to him.

“Such a needy little thing.” Joshua murmurs in that mean but sweet tone only he was capable of having.

“Only for you, my love.” You mewl, pussy throbbing at the thought of him splitting you open again.

As is his style, Josh slowly pushes his fat cock into your hot cunt, making you feel every inch of him. Then, in a split second he shoves the rest in like he can’t wait to be inside you any longer. The jolt of pleasure and slight sting of the stretch was enough to tip you over the edge for a second time.

You muffle your cry of pleasure in the sheets, fingers clinging to the soft cotton as your pussy clenches down on Josh’s cock, making him feel even bigger inside you. He groans from behind you, loving how your juices coat his cock as if you’re claiming it as yours.

“Fuck, sweetheart. Can you do that for me one more time?”

It’s more of a rhetorical question because in the next second his fingers are digging into your hips as he pulls his cock all the way out before shoving it back into your needy pussy with a sharp thrust. You can feel your body tremble as your pussy grips his cock like a vise.

“So fucking tight.” He groans, voice dripping with lust.

“Fuck me!” You moan, pushing back on his cock with insatiable need.

At your desperate demand, Josh sera a brutal pace. He fuck you hard and rough, leaking tip hitting your sweet spot over and over again until all he can hear is lewd squelching and skin slapping. His hips slam against your ass, obsessed with the way your sweet crema coats his cock. You cry out his name as his heavy balls slap against your throbbing clit.

Josh is pounding you into the mattress, cock splitting you open deliciously. You’re so addicted to the feeling that you can’t help but spur him on. “Don’t stop!”

You cry out in ecstasy when he does exactly as you ask. He pounds his cock against the spot inside you that has you seeing stars. Your fingers grips the sheets as you bounce your ass back to meet his thrusts desperately.

“You’re close again, right, baby?” Josh’s voice is teasing. He doesn’t need to ask, though. He knows you are because he knows your body.

You’re moaning and shaking with overwhelming pleasure. All you can do is nod as you bring your hand down between your bodies to rub your aching clit. With all the stimulation from your fingers and his cock, you fall over the edge once again. Your body tenses as you moan out Josh’s name with ecstasy. The excess of your orgasm drips down Josh’s cock, staining it and marking it as yours.

With one last thrust, he shoots his hot cum inside you, moaning your name like a mantra. He sloppily fuck it back into you before pulling you flush against his chest. You two collapse back on the bed with Josh holding you closely as if he thinks you might disappear.

Slowly, you turn around with his cock still inside you. Joshua’s eyes are sparkling as he looks at you. “How are you feeling?”

“Amazing.” You breathe out blissfully. “And not just because you’ve stuffed me full.”

His cock twitches inside of you, and you can’t help but let out an endeared laugh. Your chest is warm as he hugs you closer to him, lips gently skimming over your puncture wound.

“Jisoo.”

He hums against your neck, pulling back to look you in the eyes.

“I was so afraid when I first died.” You confess, feeling him tense. You’re quick to pull him closer and caress his cheek. “Afraid that I’d be reborn and you wouldn’t be there when I was.”

Josh swallows thickly and comes to cup the hand that’s still brushing over his cheek. “I’ll never leave you alone again.”

“I know. Once you turn me, we’ll have the rest of eternity together.”

It all feels too good to be true, but you know that this is reality and not just another one of your sweet dreams.

taglist: @duolingofanaccount @felix-3002 @junhui-recs @asjkdk @dani41 @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @ohwonwoo

#joshua hong smut #svt smut #svthub #joshua hong x reader #svt x reader #seventeen smut #josh smut #josh x reader #svt imagines #joshua hong imagines #seventeen imagines

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wonwoogirl · 10 months ago

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Sir?!?!??!?!!!!?

#svt #seventeen #joshua seventeen #seventeen joshua #josh #joshua

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jeonjaemark · 2 months ago

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the holiday bake off || hong jisoo

content warning: suggestion of sexual themes, MDNI, light mentions of breast play, mainly fluff, i didn’t really edit the post, kind of rushed posting this today || masterlist

i mentally check down the list in my head as i skim the ingredients on the kitchen island needed for baking cookies. i bit my bottom lip noticing something was missing but i didn’t know what it was. i check off the ingredients again in my head when a light bulb goes off. brown sugar.

i scan the cabinets for the sugar and spot it at the top shelf. i press my body against the counter standing on my toes reaching for the container filled with brown sugar. my hand sways around but i could barely get a grip on the container. i huff a breath of frustration taking a mini break to strategize again. my arm reaches up against pressing my hip firmly against the edge counter when i feel a firm and warm sensation hover reaching above me

“you know you could’ve just gotten a step stool or i don’t know, called me if you needed something from the top shelf.” josh teases, setting down the container in front of me.

i turn around to face him, “now if i do that, it would ruin my hyper-independent-eldest-daughter image.”

he laughs shaking his head at me, “so what do you have planned for us tonight?”

joshua browses between the ingredients picking up each one. he quietly reads each one while i mentally checked off the list in my head again to make sure everything we needed was here.

“christmas cookie competition.”

“between the two of us? shouldn’t there be a third party to determine who baked the best cookie?” he scratches the side of his head.

“well i was hoping you and i wouldn’t be bias enough to our own cookies to determine the winner but if you want a third party to determine who baked the best then i believe seokmin or mingyu is available.” i reach over for my phone.

joshua quickly reaches over snatching my phone from me, “no, no, no. we can just do it just the two of us.”

“aww joshy, why the sudden change of mind? afraid they’ll pick my cookies over yours?” i chuckled.

“no it’s because you’ll spend the entire time flirting with them and i have seen enough of it.” he rolls his eyes. “and then mingyu will magically end up baking your cookies.”

i bite my tongue at my initial response and noticed something flash in josh’s coffee like eyes. his cheeks turn red as he pouts his lips for a brief moment. for a second i thought to myself, ‘is josh jealous?’ there is no way. he has friend zoned me so many times before. it was to the point where i stopped being flirting around him and made sure to respect his boundaries. however, the last few hang outs have felt more like dates than just us hanging out as friends.

the other night josh and i agreed to go to some christmas festival carnival that he talked about with me for weeks. i had delayed the hang out for the carnival because our schedules never matched. that night it was different.

“y/n, don’t be so grumpy.” he hissed, pulling my long sleeve.

“i am not being grumpy. i told you that i am fine. so leave me alone.”

“you know when you tell me you’re fine, it make me more worried.”

“okay, fine. if it will get you to shut up and leave me alone, i will put on the dumb jacket.”

“see, there. do you feel warm now?” i could feel his breath against my skin as he adjusted the zipper on the jacket.

“maybe.” i muttered looking away from him.

josh gently tugs at the jacket pulling me closer to him. his brown eyes meet mine and i could feel my pulse speeding against my chest. his hands slide down from the collar of my jacket to my waist. his hold firm as he brings me for more warmth. honestly i wish i could get out of this jacket. i felt like i was simply burning up under his touch. my cheeks were burning up red and if josh noticed then he sure didn’t seem to bring it up to me. he just kept his hands on me and my body close to his. he leans his head closer to mine and then ——

“what? no comeback?” josh retorts, bringing me back to reality.

“it’s not my fault for being charming and pretty.” i nudged him in the arm.

“yeah and that’s why it’s dangerous to be around you.”

“aww, josh if you have feelings for me, just say so. you never know. maybe the feeling is mutual.” i winked, nudging him in the arm.

“okay, i’ll confess.” josh runs his hand through his hair. his shoulders tense up as if he is trying to find the words. a mischief grin slips from his lips, “i think… you’re tolerable.”

i roll my eyes at him, shoving at his shoulders. “you’re so annoying. maybe i should ask santa for a new best friend this holiday season.”

josh laughs grabbing the two large bowls and spatula on the counter behind him for us to use. i connect my phone to the speaker playing some holiday music and set the timer for an hour and half. josh starts to measure the flour for his bowl while i danced around the island.

———

the timer had gone off fifteen minutes ago but josh and i were too wrapped up when it came to decorating. so we decided to get rid of the timer and just focus on decorating the cookies the way we wanted to.

i carefully pipe out a thin line onto the snowflake cookie. my tongue sticks out in the corner of the mouth as i remained focus on the details of my cookie. i examine the cookie holding it on the edge between the pads of my finger and thumb. the icing was smooth and clean and i placed it in the plate next to the other.

after some time i look up after using the tweezers to put one white star in the center of my cookie and find josh hunched over the kitchen island. he hand a few sprinkles in one hand and tweezers in the other. he eyeballs each brown sprinkle and delicately places each one along the outside of the antlers of his reindeer cookie. his face scrunch together in complete focus. i bite back a smile watching him.

a sudden rush of warmth floods my veins. the way his biceps flex under the cuff of his shirt. if he was doing this on purpose then he was being cruel. i bit my inner lip watching him as he scans the counter for something before reaching for a piping bag and icing. i cross my legs feeling something pulsing between them while mentally cursing myself.

“are you ogling me because you’re finished decorating or is it because you’re interested?”

“neither.” i hissed, moving back to my cookies.

he chuckles dusting off his hands from any sprinkles and cookie crumbs. he tries to tidy up the island putting away the ingredients and other baking tools we were no longer using. when i finished my last cookie, i helped him clean up a little. his body brushes against mine moving between the sink the island as he collects the utensils and other dishes we used. each time my body sparks to life making the temperature in me rise. i asked josh to hand me the bowl with icing so i could wash it and we start the taste portion of our competition. when josh didn’t respond after i repeated myself, i turn around finding him with the bowl and icing on his fingers. a rush of panic seeps into my veins.

i carefully circle around the kitchen island while josh stalks me like his prey, “hong jisoo i swear if you get icing in my hair, i will never talk to you again.”

“don’t give me an empty threat, y/n.” his voice dropping an octave among the butterflies in my stomach flutter.

i scream running in the other direction away from him. josh snakes his arms around me pulling me to his chest. he places me on the counter running my wrist down to my sides as he swipes the purple icing onto my cheek. i shriek at the coldness of the cream

“revenge never tasted so sweet.” he swipes his tongue gently against the icing on my face.

“you’re dead, hong.” i spat.

i wrap my legs around his waist before he could escape and swipe from icing from the bowl nearby. josh tries to fight me grabbing my wrist in the air as they try to fight over dominance with him. i tighten my legs around his waist when i feel something hard press into my core. my body apparently loved the sensation that i felt my pangies damp a little. josh tries to pin me down to the counter to prevent me from wiping any icing on him when his little hard friend to hits my core. a tingling feeling runs down my legs as pushed myself up on the counter.

josh’s brown eyes lock with mine then slip down to my lips and go back to my eyes. his breath hitched when he realized i was watching him. an unbearable tension fuels the air between us. i could feel his pulse racing just like mine. our breath mingling with one another being so close. i couldn’t pinpoint what this meant but i knew it would changes things between us. without any hesitation, he pulls in closer but hovers near my lips as if to wait for my permission. i nod my head and he leans in completely taking my lips against his. his tongue sliding against mine. i wrap my arms around his neck pulling him even closer. his hands squeeze at my waist as my fingers play with the bottom of his hair tugging at it.

his lips trail down from my neck to my chest nipping and sucking at the skin. he uses his other hand to continue to squeeze and play with my other breast. my head falls back at the pleasing sensation and attention he was giving to each breast. a moan slips from my lips making him smile against my skin.

“fuck josh. m-more.” i gasped.

josh hooks his hands under my thoughts lifting me off the counter. our clothes scattering down the ground as he lays me on the bed and gets to work.

———

“i guess we never got to determine the winner of the competition.” he chuckles collapsing onto the bed and wrapping the sheets around me.

“we can call it a tie since we got caught up in other activities. i don’t think we can be unbiased and make a decision.”

“really? cause it feels like i won either way.” he presses a few lingering kisses against my lips.

“you know we have to talk about what just happened, right?”

“which part? the cookie competition or when i got you to release seven times.” he smirks proudly.

“it was five, first of all. don’t get cocky, joshy. and second of all, i mean what are we? cause i know damn well we aren’t just best friends anymore.”

“well i wanted to ask you out on a proper date and tell you how i felt about you but obviously plans have changed.”

“you can still do that, but no sex until that date happens.” i said firmly.

“you’re going to deny me from heaven.” he falls to the bed in agony, clutching his chest.

“yes, if we want to do this right then you can’t ram me like your life depends on it. just until after the the fifth date.”

“fifth date?” he gasped in horror.

“that’s the number of time i touched heaven earlier so it’s five dates first then you can get a taste of heaven again.”

josh pushes himself up ready to fight me on it decides to think otherwise. “okay so when does this rule go into effect?”

“tomorrow.”

“so what you’re saying is i have until midnight before the no sex until the fifth date rule applies?”

“yes.”

josh hops off the bed throwing on his boxers and a shirt. i furrow my eyebrows together staring at him in confusion.

“josh, where are you going?”

“i am going to make you coffee. if i have until midnight, i need to make sure you have the energy to keep going until then.”

“you’re ridiculous. i have perfect stamina to keep up with you. maybe you need to the coffee more than me.” i joked

“keep talking bratty like that, you’re going to be punished for it anyways.” he winks before rushing out into the hall as i tossed a pillow at him.

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milfgyuu · 2 years ago

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Vanilla [M] - Series Master List ♥︎ Pairing: Joshua Hong x Fem!Reader Series Tags: Multi-Chapter, Friends to Lovers, Smut, BDSM practices, 18+ Summary: After too many years of teasing and repressed feelings, two long time best friends begin to explore a more intimate side of their relationship. Venturing into hidden pleasures together with a mutual trust and desire unlocks truths that lead to a better understanding of love and redefining what it means to be ‘vanilla’. A/N: This series is considered complete but I may re-visit the Vanilla universe for specials and bonus content from time-to-time.

Series Warnings: *Explicit Sexual Content, 18+, MINORS DNI!* BDSM practices/language used throughout. Please read the chapter warnings for specific details.

Chapter One [M]

Chapter Two [M]

Chapter Three [M]

The Wedding Night [M] *New bonus chapter coming soon!

→ Read this series on AO3

SVT M.List | Main M.List | Updated 07/16/23 ♥︎

→ Please do NOT copy, repost, or translate, any of my works here on tumblr or on any other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, Milfgyuu, 2019. ©️

#joshua hong fanfic #joshua hong smut #joshua hong fanfiction #svt fanfic #svt smut #svt series #svt x rreader #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen series #kpop fanifc #kpop smut #kpop masterlist #vanilla!josh

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fvckktheo · 24 days ago

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dê os créditos caso use, por gentileza.

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straylightdream · 4 months ago

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delicate

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: joshua hong x cam girl reader

Long night, with your hands up in my hair. Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs. Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: established relationship, non idol au

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: so much angst, emotional & kinda jealous joshua, slut shaming not by joshua. Smut warning below

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.2k

an: my next story for SVT inspired by reputation songs by taylor swift. This is loosely connected to a few other stories with the other boys. You can look here to see which stories are kinda connected. This can be read as a one shot tho.

if you would like to be tagged in any svt stories please fill out this form.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex(mc is on birth control), creampie, body worship, oral (both rec), recording sexual acts, masturbation, anal play, use of a butt plug, sex toys

Everything about your life felt like it was falling apart suddenly. In the last year after being laid off from your job unexpectedly you took up being a cam girl. A college friend told you about all the money she’s been making doing it. Instead of trying to find another random job you decided to give it a go.

Your first month of doing it you weren’t very sure of what you should do and decided to wear a mask that covered part of your face. After your first month you really started doing well and making lots of money. You finally didn’t have to worry about paying rent. You wouldn’t have stressed out Jeonghan like you have a couple times about missing rent.

You managed to fully keep your job a secret from everyone you knew, even Joshua you had you had been seeing for about three months. Everyone thought you had an online marketing job that let you work from home. It was your little secret for the first two years you started doing it. Everything fell apart when Seokmin, Chan, and Joshua found out about your job.

It turns out a girl that went to college who had a crush on Joshua back in the day, that never liked you discovered your secret. She took it upon herself to share you secret when she ran into Joshua while he was out with Seokmin and Chan getting coffee one day.

You and Joshua have always been close. You became friends in college and you still share the same friend group to this day. Four months ago you decided to give dating a try. You planned on telling him at some point about your job but you weren’t sure when would be a good time.

As soon as he finished getting coffee with the boys, he asked them to keep what they had been told to themselves even though he knew deep down inside they were going to go home and look up your page. Something didn’t sit right about his friend seeing his girlfriend naked online. He knew it was a matter of time before one of them accidentally let someone else know.

Walking into his apartment he slipped off into his room locking the door. Putting his headphones on he went onto the site the girl had told him he would find your account on. Opening his laptop he searched the user name he was told he could find you by. Your username you went by “kittenqt”. The moment the page opened his mouth went dry. Even with half your face covered he could tell it was you. He knew he should close his laptop and just let it go. You had chosen not to share this information with him for a reason, but this all just didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t care that you were a sex worker. He cared more that you hid this from him. He wished you would have trusted him enough to let him know.

Staring at your home page he reached up to close his laptop, but he couldn’t. He instead clicked the button to open your live stream. The moment the page loaded his eyes focused on your naked form laying on your bed with your legs spread. You were dressed in pink sheer crotchless panties and sheer bra that was completely see through that matched.

Silently he listened to you pleasuring yourself with a pink sparkly dildo he’s never seen before.

Your sex life with Joshua was passionate, but you had never brought in toys or anything like that. He felt guilty for you without you knowing. He couldn’t help that he was starting to get turned on at the sight of you. Before he could go any further he quickly shut his laptop.

Finishing up your livestream you immediately went to take a shower before Jeonghan got home from work. Before hoping in the shower you send your boyfriend a text wondering if he wanted to come over.

From you: Shau are you free tonight? I’m craving Thai food and was thinking about ordering in.

Jumping into the shower you take time enjoying the warm water washing your tense muscles. You had a good stream tonight and made a good chunk of money on tips. After showering you could look online for new lingerie to buy for your streaks.

Getting out of the shower you look at your phone to see you had a new text but it wasn’t from your boyfriend, but instead your roommate.

From Jeonghan: I’m bringing home some wine. Can we order take out?

From you: yeah I’m craving Thai food. I texted shau seeing if he wanted to come over but I haven’t heard from him.

Going off to your room you got dressed in some lounge shorts and sweater before laying on your bed so you could shop for lingerie. By the time you finish online shopping it’s been an hour and glancing at your phone you see your boyfriend hasn’t responded to your message yet.

Walking into the living room you find Jeonghan coming in from work. He immediately hands you a bottle of wine before heading off to his room. You crack open the bottle of wine and place an order for dinner already knowing what Jeonghan likes to eat.

Opening your text you aren’t sure why Joshua hasn’t texted you back. You know he had the day off from work so it’s not like he’s working late.

From you: hey I’m not sure if you’re busy but I miss you. I was hoping to see you tonight.

Before you can even close your phone he responds.

From Shau: sorry tonight is a little crazy for me. Maybe Saturday we can hang.

Your chest stings realizing you won’t be able to see him for three days. You aren’t sure what could possibly be going on that you have to wait so long to see him. Shaking the feeling in your chest you decide to spend the night drinking wine and hanging out with Jeonghan.

Friday rolled around and you had barely spoken to Joshua and you definitely hadn’t seen him. When Seokmin mentioned he wanted to come over and have coffee you immediately accepted. You had a feeling he might know what’s going on with your boyfriend.

Seokmin sat across from you. You could immediately tell something was off.

“Seokmin what is going on?”

“Has Shau talked to you?” There is suddenly this twisting feeling in your stomach.

“No I feel like he’s avoiding me,” you sigh.

“I guess I should tell you then,” he lets out a sigh as he nervously picks at the sleeve of his sweater. “Joshua, Chan and I know what your real job is now.”

It feels like an ice cold bucket of water had been dumped on you. Bile suddenly feels like it’s crawling up your throat. It wasn’t bad enough that not only does your boyfriend know about your job, but also two of your mutual friends.

“What the fuck?” You can’t even think of anything else to say.

“Val from school ran into us and you know how bitchy she is. I’m not sure how she found out but she told all three of us about it.”

Your eyes instantly brim with tears. You feel sick to your stomach. “What did Shau say?”

“He told her to shut up, and then told both of us to keep it to ourselves.”

“I feel like he’s going to break up with me because of this,” tears start sliding down your cheek.

Seokmin reaches out resting his hand on yours and gently squeezes it. “Hey he’s not going to break up with you. He might just be processing what he wasn’t told.”

“You guys all probably think I’m just some huge slut or something.” You realize all your worst fears are coming true suddenly.

“Nobody thinks that. Chan and I agreed after Joshua left us we would never speak about it or tell anyone. You and I both know Joshua and you know he would never shame you for this.”

“I need to talk to my boyfriend,” you sigh.

“I would call Cheol and see if Shau is home.”

Joshua couldn’t fully explain all the thoughts going through his head since he saw your stream. He wasn’t mad at you or disappointed. He was just upset you hadn’t told him. He also didn’t like the idea that Seokmin and Chan also knew about your account.

When you had texted him at first after he found out he told you he wasn’t free until Saturday because he just needed time to process everything. He wasn’t going to tell you that he knew but he just needed time.

He originally planned on staying home Friday night but Seungcheol convinced him to go out to a dive bar on the east side with him and Mingyu.

Normally he wasn’t a heavy drinker but tonight he needed to relax and try to forget about all the thoughts floating around in his head. He wasn’t shocked when Mingyu was pressing him about the fact you didn’t come out with him. Since you had started officially dating you often hung out with friends together.

Sitting at the table he was on his second beer when he watched Seungcheol walk over to meet someone. Joshua was caught off guard when he saw you walked over with him.

“Hi,” you say softly, walking towards him.

“Hi.” He wasn’t expecting to see you. Based on the look on Seungcheol's face he’s the one who let you know where to find him.

“Can we talk?”

He chugged his beer before saying, “Yeah.”

He leads you out of the back through the door that leads to the ally. Neither of you say anything as he leans against the brick wall.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” you break the screaming silence.

“I wasn’t intentionally avoiding you,” he sighs, pushing his fingers through his hair.

“I talked to Seokmin,” Joshua's stomach drops at the mention of your mutual friend who knows about your secret. “Based on how you’re acting I take it you’re upset about me being a cam girl.”

“I’m not upset. It’s just a lot to process.”

He sounds hurt, and you have a stabbing feeling in your chest that you’re the reason he’s hurt. “I was going to tell you. I just didn’t know how. I was scared that if I told you after you told me you wanted to date-“ you pause. You weren’t ready to have this conversation “I thought you would change your mind about wanting to be with me.”

“Your career doesn’t make me want to break up. Just I wasn’t expecting to be told my girlfriend makes porn. I think if you told me I wouldn’t have felt as blindsided.”

“I’m sorry, looking back I should have told you before it was clear we both liked each other,” looking down at your feet you feel embarrassed.

“I felt funny about Seokmin and Chan being told. I didn’t want them to look you up without you knowing they knew.”

“Seokmin told me that he and Chan agreed not to look up my website.” He finally looks you in the eyes and you can see remorse. “Did you look me up?”

Leaning his head back he looks up at the night sky. “I wanted to see for myself. I didn’t believe Val when she told me. I just wanted to know if it was real.”

“I want you to know I’ve never slept with another person on camera or ever cheated on you,” your mind is riddled with the thought that maybe he thinks you cheated on him.

“I never thought you did. I trust you and I know you wouldn’t do that.” You cheating on him never even crossed his mind when he found out about your secret job.

“I’ve only ever filmed solo, and stuff with me playing with toys.”

“What little I saw of your stream, I saw you playing with a toy I have never seen before.” He’s quite curious to see what toys you’ve got hidden from him.

“Are you going to ask me to stop?” You weren’t sure what you would do if Joshua asked you to walk away from the career that gave you a comfortable lifestyle now.

“I couldn’t do that to you. I know how much you struggled after being laid off. You clearly make good money doing it.” He has no idea how good the money actually is.

“I don’t have to worry about paying rent anymore.” This job has done a lot of good for you. You can’t give it up. “Are we going to be okay?” You don’t think you can handle your boyfriend being distant anymore.

“Yeah we’ll be okay,” he pushes himself off the wall and steps closer to you. Taking your face in his hands he rest his forehead against yours. “I wish you would trust me more with this kind of stuff.”

Pulling back slightly you glance up at him, “I was scared this would be a deal breaker.”

“It's not. I want you to know I’ll support you doing whatever makes you happy.” He finally leans in, pressing his lips to yours. You kiss him like you need him to breathe. Pulling away he smiles at you for the first time tonight.

“You must like me for me if you’re willing to put up with me doing this.”

“You don’t understand how much I love you.” Everytime he says he loves you it gives you butterflies. Leaning forward he captures your lips for a searing kiss. Your hands wrap around his neck pulling him closer to you.

Slowly he pulls back and you instantly miss the feeling of his lips on yours. “Am I allowed to ask to see all your toys you’ve been hiding from me?”

You press your lips to his for another quick kiss before pulling away. “I can show you everything.”

Sitting on your bed Joshua watched as you reached into your closet and pulled out a black box. Sitting it in the bed next to him. Taking off the lid he instantly looks like a kid in the candy store at the sight of all your different toys you have.

Picking up the pink sparkly dildo he stares at it moving it around. He notices it is quite similar in size to him. Make a tad a tad longer. “I saw you play with this when I saw your live.”

“Did you want to use any of these on me?” The idea of Joshua using your toys you have kept hidden away turns you on more than it probably should.

He picks up a silver small butt plug that you recently bought. He glanced at it and then looked back up at you. “Since when are you into butt stuff?”

Shrugging your shoulders you say, “I haven’t really tried much but I’m intrigued. I’ve only used it once on myself while I rode that dildo with the suction cup on it.” He adjusts the way he’s sitting and you look down to see his erection is starting to strain against his jeans. “Did you wanna try and use the plug tonight on me?”

Laying on your bed completely naked with your legs spread Joshua is eating out like a man starved. His finger gently toys with your asshole. You had no clue he was interested in anal play before tonight, but you’re excited to try anything with him.

He pushed you over the edge hitting what is probably your first orgasm of the night. Pulling back he smiles as he wipes your release from his face.

He picks the lube off the bed and applies some to the silver plug before slowly sliding it inside of you.

“Can I be on top?” You asked.

He lays on your bed with his head resting on your pillow. You crawl on top of him. Grinding your wet core against his cock. Moaning each time his leaking tip bumps in your sensitive clit.

“Did any girls before me ever touch you like this?” You think back to the string of girls you’ve seen him date.

“Never,” he moans.

Ever so slowly you sink down on his length. Gasping as you bottom out. “Fuck I can feel pressure of the plug against your walls.”

Your eyes practically roll back in your head at full feeling. You start riding him at a slow pace. This feels even better then the time you tried the plug while streaming. The way Joshua is looking at you with lust blown eyes is intoxicating.

One hand rests on his chest while the other plays with your clit. His hands touch anywhere he can reach.

“Are you ever going to ask me to film with you?” He ask something that had been on his mind since you talked in the alley earlier. A part of him was inside in the possibility of being on camera.

“No, because I don’t want to share what we have with other people. This is mine.”

“I’m just yours,” he moans.

“You can watch me film off screen though. Maybe it will turn me on more having you in the room watching me.” The idea of him being there is thrilling.

His hands grip your hips helping you ride him at a quicker pace. “Oh my god I want to kiss you,” you moan.

He sits up connecting his lips to yours for a heated kiss. His hands move down gripping your ass. His fingers press on the plug causing you to moan loudly into his mouth. He kneads your supple flesh of your ass while helping you ride him.

“Fuck I love you,” you moan with your lips ghosting his.

“I’m going to come-“ he moans.

“Please, I'm so close.”

His lips latch onto your neck. He leaves a trail of wet kisses on your skin. You rub your clit at a quicker pace. You fall apart moaning his name.

“Fuck-“ is all he says as he paints your walls white.

Pulling back he gives you a blissed out smile, “I love you.”

This is the most intense sex you’ve ever had with Joshua and something tells you that things are going to continue to be like this. When you and Joshua originally confessed your feelings you both agreed to make no promises that this would last forever, but the longer you have been together the more in love you have fallen. You went into this open mind knowing that this could all fall apart but things changed. Your love for him was something you couldn’t fully explain. When it came to Joshua you love him for who he was and it was clear he loved you for you. No matter what happened to your reputation, if everyone found out about you being a cam girl it wouldn’t matter to him. He was going to love you no matter what.

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