#seriously what is up with that is it just sampling bias or what

[ouppybrained]

unfortunately im really not beating the transmasc puppy stereotypes out here. wanna be the cutest little pup you've ever seen in the whole world. wanna have sleeve paws and oversized hoodies and a dog bed we keep on the living room floor. want a collar with your name on it. i want my dog bowl to be pastel blue and for your favorite hobby to be putting your fingers in my mouth. wanna be mounted and made to whine & bark as you hold my leash. i want to be the little spoon after as you pet me and tell me what a good, pretty puppy i am.

[undignifiend]

(Another AU hypothetical involving my Gumm-Gumm OCs somehow farting around Topside and not indulging their usual level of villainy. Still working on their dynamic, but I thought this was fun enough to share. All three are nerds to varying degrees.)

+++++

"You know. The Moon Problem," Zahn said.

"I... don't know," Jim admitted. "What is that?"

"Tell me, what is moonlight?"

Jim was already getting tired of Zahn's tendency to answer questions with questions. "It's... It's moonlight. What other word would we use?"

Zahn huffed, and one of his eyes twitched. "Which means...?" he prompted.

"I'm starting to grasp why he doesn't know how to navigate at night," Ulvek muttered from his corner.

Jim tried not to take whatever offense that was supposed to mean. "Is this like, a riddle?"

"No, just basic fact," Zahn snapped. "What is moonlight?"

"Wait, don't you specifically need moonlight in your spells or whatever?" Jim asked. "Is it inherently magical?"

"Everything is inherently magical, that's the first thing you should know," Ulvek grunted sagely in the background. 

"Are fleshlings not reading Al-Kindi anymore?" Dezoka asked. "His Stellar Ray Theory was foundational in - "

Louder, and slightly over his fellows, Zahn griped "That's a completely different lesson, now focus and tell me what moonlight is made of!"

"...Light?"

"What kind of light?!" Zahn roared, grasping his horns. "Does it generate its own?! Hand and Eye! - Where does the vast majority of visible light come from in our solar system!"

"Sunlight! It's reflected sunlight!" Jim peeked over the edge of the table he'd leapt behind with an irritated "Sheesh!" At least whenever Blinky got dramatic while giving a lesson, he was having fun.

"And yet!" Zahn thrust his arm out the cave entrance, waving it around. He seemed to have forgotten his ire entirely, launching fully into an enthusiastic lecture. "I can do this all night, and none of my tissue samples would reveal any petrification, not even on the cellular level! Whatever's so deadly about sunlight doesn't reflect! Or refract, otherwise eclipses would be just as fatal as broad daylight. Both these reasons are why ambient light doesn't bother us, either.

"Sunlight's fatal property," he continued, "for us at least, only hits on the first pass, and only in a straight line. It doesn't bounce. Which is fundamentally different behavior from light itself. The theory goes that if we can figure out how to isolate that property, it would be shown to belong to a new type of sub-particle. This explains every experiment we've recorded on the topic, but we haven't been able to demonstrate, conclusively, just what this sneaky little glorkhole really is, or how to counter it aside from blocking it with solid matter or shadow magic. Due to its properties, it's exceptionally difficult to track down when it's not killing a troll. So until our medical team has a breakthrough, or until we can find a way to isolate it, we're left with inferring the thing's existence."

"Oh. Kinda like Dark Matter?" Jim asked.

Ulvek's hiss carried all the seriousness of clicking his tongue. "Nah, that's like this era's version of Aether. It's a cool theory, and the best your physicists got right now, but it stems from a multidimensional 'optical' illusion your folk haven't solved yet. See, when the space-time 'ripples' of gravitational radiation intersect, they distort the - "

"Actually, yeah, that makes Dark Matter a fair comparison here," Zahn gave Ulvek a stink-eye for his meddling. "These theories are, respectively, the best we got right now to explain what we think we've figured out. It may be a new sub-particle. I admit some personal bias in hoping so. That sounds like it would be easier to develop a more lasting counter against. But it might be a property inherent to sunlight that we've misunderstood."

"It absolutely is!" Dezoka piped up, pulling her helmet off. An ash-colored mane bristled once freed, half-plastered to the sides of her face from sweat, and sticking up oddly in a way that almost hid her horns. One of her upper fangs was missing, the empty space pairing with a vertical lip scar. "The Moon Problem is stupid! We can tolerate up to a certain threshold of ultraviolet radiation, just like we can tolerate up to a certain amount of heat, or water, or annoyances."

"Get back to me when you get that peer-reviewed, Captain," Zahn growled.

"Every troll ever can peer review that!" Dezoka insisted. "You ever been stung by sunlight reflecting off a knight's armor? I have! Why do you think they were so obsessed with keeping it shiny? The fatal property does bounce! Just not always in great enough quantities to overwhelm our regeneration rate!"

"I promise it does not bounce!" Zahn argued. "It's illusory pain! A trick of the brain! Psychological warfare's the name a' - "

"No rap battles in front of the fleshlings," Ulvek warned apologetically. "Weird hypothesis aside, your flow's too powerful."

Both Zahn and Dezoka answered with dejected little huffs.

"But!" Zahn perked up immediately. "Point is, reflected sunlight creeps into Power of Suggestion territory. Your instincts treat it like it's gonna hurt, in order to keep you wary and alive. But it's as harmless as waving a finger through a candle flame! You've always freaked out and withdrawn too soon to find out! Soon as sunup, I'll get the fleshling to stand outside with a mirror, and I'll prove it to you."

Dezoka gave Jim a long-suffering glance as her shoulders slumped in defeat. "Alright…" She pointed a claw firmly at Zahn in the next instant. "But it's gonna be a tiny mirror, you have to wear a cloak - and keep the hood up to protect your eyes! And when you need sun-salve, you're gonna ask very nicely."

"You know, changeling magic provides some unique context to the Problem," Ulvek muttered thoughtfully. "The Pale Lady is a genius. Mass-shunting and glamour can only get you so far, she actually figured out a way to 'trick' either sunlight or troll cells with borrowed human DNA. But from what I think I understand of the ritual, it's almost like just the impression of that DNA acts as an effective shield. Like she more-or-less conditionally assigned the idea of 'fleshling' to a troll, and it worked. I've only seen that kind of technique succeed as a temporary counter-curse. Which lends some serious credibility to her theory on - "

"So what if we try the reverse?" Zahn asked, tapping his chin. "Figure out how she did it, and try assigning 'non-stalkling troll' to something else, and see what sunlight does to it?"

Dezoka's lips pulled back in a false smile closer to a grimace. "Sure. Why not invent some new, cursed reverse-Impure with an identity-bond and a weakness to sunlight?" The false-smile vanished. "Seriously, for once, I want you to take a moment to actually think about the ethical - "

"I'll call it the Basilisk Cannon!" Zahn declared. "If I can harnass this technique in aimable form - "

"Yeah, I'm not gonna let you do that," Jim noted.

"Can't spare enough resources for something that stupid anyway," Dezoka attempted to reassure.

"That's exactly what you said about the Embiggenator!" Zahn pointed at Dezoka accusingly. "And I made you eat those words!"

"You gotta stop taking them as a challenge," Dezoka groaned.

[trivalentlinks]

leverage prompt:

So we all know and love those fics where Quinn has an instant rapport with the others on Eliot's team (except Nate) but here's something very different:

So Quinn has called in the favour. Since then, he and Eliot have passed that favour back and forth a few times, have worked together a bunch, have hung out occasionally, and are something almost like friends.

However, except for the TLDJ job, when Quinn works with the team it is exclusively as Eliot's backup, so he doesn't interact much with the others. Also, they only ever call him when the job is going to be particularly dangerous for or hard on Eliot, so much so that even Eliot will admit that he needs backup.

As a result, Quinn has a biased view of what Team Leverage's jobs are like, and consequently a warped idea of how expendable the rest of the team think Eliot is. As far as he knows this team keeps taking jobs that are really dangerous for and hard on the hitters. (Also maybe Quinn has worked with other teams who by and large considered hitters to be expendable, so this basically confirms his priors.)

(Look, he didn't go to regular school and has never heard of sample bias.)

Of course, Quinn knows Eliot loves and trusts these people, and Eliot's a grown adult who can choose who he works with. Anyway, Quinn has never really had a team, so who's he to say what they should or shouldn't be like? So he never expresses his concerns.

It comes to a head post Season 5, when the team is still getting accustomed to just being the three of them: a job against some unexpectedly powerful and high-firepower bad guys goes very wrong, Eliot gets captured, and Parker and/or Hardison is seriously injured.

They can't go to a hospital because if they do, the bad guys would definitely find them.

So at the last minute, right before communication is cut off, Eliot gives Parker and Hardison a way to contact Quinn and asks them to send Quinn a message that is essentially, in hitters' cant (thieves' cant, but for hitters), a plea for Quinn to patch them up and protect them, and a description of who they're up against (so Quinn can keep them safe), because Eliot knows that Quinn has steady hands and a lot of combat medic skills and experience, so he's the next best thing to a hospital, which Eliot knows that Parker and/or Hardison needs.

Of course, Quinn can't say no to Eliot, who's the only person who knows Quinn, really understands what kind of man/weapon he is, and still seems to want to keep him anyway

So he does what Eliot asks, he spends hours patching up Hardison and/or Parker while constantly monitoring the perimeter and dealing with any threats to their safety, despite his low-key bias against them.

But the bias is really not helped by the fact that Parker and Hardison are blaming themselves (because Eliot got hurt and captured protecting them, and also they feel they should have assessed the threat better), so when Quinn asks a question that amounts to "was it your fault that he's been captured and is probably being tortured?", their answer amounts to "yes".

(Also maybe Parker and Hardison thought that Eliot's message was about telling Quinn how to rescue him, so they're just like. Thanks for patching us up, but like. Are we rescuing him or not? (Does this guy not care about Eliot? Or is he too scared to try to go up against these bad guys?))

(Quinn is planning to go rescue Eliot, he's just prioritizing getting Parker and/or Hardison stable, because that's what Eliot all but begged him to do.)

And in the end they go rescue Eliot and all the misunderstandings get resolved.

[jmdbjk]

Jungkook is all grown up ~ Min Yoongi, June 13, 2022

So, I guess we’ve all had a chance to restart our hearts and get our big girl undergarments changed after seeing this:

Is this the “climax” of what Kookie has been working on since early February? He's had an agenda all this time?

Jungkook has been trying to break out of this BABY star candy, golden BABY, BABY highness, giant BABY villain bubble he’s been in forever. I feel called out, JK. Let’s not kid ourselves though. He’s been grown up for a few years now.

JK biases/stans have always been horny over him and see him as his My Time performance sex god. It took me a while to view Kookie in that light. The muscles, the boxing, the tattoos, the piercings do not tickle that "sensation" in me as easily as it does for the JK biases. I'm resistant to his "charms."

I do love him but Jimin is the one who makes me think and feel things I won’t detail here. As I said to my bestie the other day: "I don't know why I feel that way about that skinny little thing." Seriously, the idea of a bias is so interesting though isn't it? So, just saying, the following is my point of view as I think out loud....

When I first saw this image:

… for a split second my brain registered "Jimin" and then went "huh?"…. hmmmmm. Of course it also went, wow, naked. Also I thought, let's get it JK... bring it.

And then upon seeing the rest of the images and his behind the scenes video I had to sit with it and think about it... the other similarities in the other images: the spikes, the grainy photo effect... very intriguing. They (Jimin and Jungkook) really do play off each other don't they?

As I'm processing all of this, I think about what I know:

They have a team of stylists. They have a team for content. They have teams for each member. They have staff. It's the "big machine" that Namjoon mentioned once. And the big machine all work in tandem.

What I’m assuming:

The teams may work on all or some of the members. For instance some people on the style team may work on Jimin and Jungkook but not on RM’s team. We don't know though. Might be one team who works on every single one of them and individuals are just delegated to doing the tasks.

More specifically, and also for example… I know Bit and Boot (the hair stylists) travels with them overseas. So I am going to assume the Bit n Boot team consists of a point person and several others who style their hair. Or maybe they are one and the same person. Or maybe several stylists. I don’t know. I'm assuming more than one because when they are overseas they need others to tend to the other members needs elsewhere.

I know the wardrobe team in the past has explained they get samples from clothing companies or design houses and they catalog them for future use. They meet with the members (at the time I saw this information the solo era had not begun yet) and determine what sort of look or concept will suit a particular theme. This is a very creative process in my opinion. And this one particularly would be involved in the members' solo concepts because other than the actual set surrounding the subject, its the clothing that conveys the vibe and theme.

So all that being said… seeing JK’s images very similar to Jimin’s is so interesting to me. I feel 99% sure it was not a coincidence nor was it incompetence or the ridiculous claim of “plagiarism.” I saw JK's smile when he saw Jimin commenting during his lives. I saw it when he was watching Jimin on tv. I saw him say wait until midnight when something amazing is coming (SMF MV) so don't try to tell me now that he's undermining Jimin's work.

There’s something else going on here that we don’t know what the goal is yet but copying Jimin is not it. JK is conveying his concept. I am a big proponent of the members making the choices and decisions for their solo work. I am 99% sure this was done intentionally. But why?

HOWEVER. THAT BEING SAID. I recall how much Kookie has been watching Jimin over the years. At least ten years now. And I feel strongly that Jimin has influenced JK tremendously. I feel like JK has learned how to be empathic and he’s learned about work ethic (though putting that into motion for him looks much different than it does for Jimin). And if Kookie thinks Jimin is sexy when he does [insert whatever it is Jimin does that turns Kookie on] then he might try to emulate that? Remember, I'm just thinking out loud here.

Or are they really just flipping us the bird and doing what they know turns each other on? That would be a fabulous joke on us. I would love it, to be honest. Jungkook has been vocal in the past whenever Jimin has shown his sexy side and he's been pretty obviously obsessed with him in his lives lately too.

Anyway...

We may never know, it might be a mystery forever why the image concepts are so similar. We can make up all the theories we want (and we do) and make assumptions and “put two and two together” reading between the lines, but knowing exactly what was going through their heads is something we’ll never know unless they tell us.

Is there something in the near future that this is all leading to? I guess we have to wait and see… (don’t you hate it when someone says that?)

Maybe it will be for the long awaited Jikook collab? I had a video concept that I sketched out roughly for my bestie yesterday but now I'm going to elaborate on it: JKxJM collab, the MV opens with Jimin stepping out of his Like Crazy MV set with the mud splattered pants and JK stepping out of his Seven MV set in his oversized outfit and they start taking off their clothes but underneath each layer are their "look alike" clothes and there is layer upon layer they have to take off and its comical because there are so many couple outfits they've worn over the years, until finally they get down to the white tank tops and boxer shorts and then they break it down in the mother of all dance breaks that will break the internet and slough off the dead meat of the fandom and then when the song is over, they walk off the set arms over each other in a giggling fit.

Why hasn't BigHit hired me yet? My brain is full of these uniquely creative ideas that will never see the light of day.

[mothshrub]

I know we're all desperate for information and that the elections are looming over us like an impending avalanche, but we need to set aside how seriously we take polls.* There's been polling issues for months if not years that iirc can't just be explained by sampling bias or rounding errors, and even then things are so close that either result is within the margin of error.

For your own mental health, cast your vote and then ignore all polls until after the election. You'll skip the rollercoaster and get the exact same results, because watching the rollercoaster isn't actually going to have told you anything except stress.

*Yes, I'm aware of what GOP is doing with fluffing up their polls to give Trump grounds to claim the election was rigged. That's separate from actually listening to what the polls themselves say as an indicator of the voter's reality, because the news story exists BECAUSE those results are obviously biased.

[sunontheceiling]

dop "Dear Our Promise" ENG TL

dop feat. IA by ■37

𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑹 𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑬

The stairs I ran up

the other side, a single person's living space

The seriousness of his character

Walking along the guardrail

It's all about simple and boring things

The blue sky looks like summer

Even the pain caused by the sunlight

Wouldn't it suit you if you were smiling?

Still, when the goodbye comes

With only the promises we made to each other

One day it will come to an end

I don't even know if it's you anymore

Cluttered room

Melody sampling

Uniforms that look and behave like

Nightmarish hallucination

I can't be the trickster I see in the movies. 

Avoiding an unacceptable reality

Due to the bias of the built-in model

This decision was wrong

I realised it's a dream that won't last

Still, parting will come

Memories of vowing to live like you

Still, parting will come

I saw the shadow of separation, the talent that I could not possess

But still the parting comes

With only the promise we exchanged

Where the weight tilts

Hold tightly our outstretched hands

Still we know that we're parting

With only the promise we exchanged

I just wait for the end

Even if I don't recognise you anymore

Don't cry

Don't go crazy

Don't just go

To what's still there

To the one you're waiting for

All the things that aren't right and the things that aren't worth it

That sky looks like summer

Even the pain caused by the sunlight

I'm sure it would suit you

[swatik1991]

What Are Some Ethical Concerns Around Genetic Testing, and How Are They Addressed?

Genetic testing holds incredible promise—it can help predict disease, guide treatment, and even inform family planning. But with this power comes responsibility. Understandably, many people ask:

“Is it safe to know this much about my DNA?” “Who else might access this information?” “What if the results affect how I’m treated by others?”

At Greenarray, we take these questions seriously. Let’s explore some of the most important ethical concerns around genetic testing—and how the healthcare and research communities are working to protect your rights.

🔐 1. Privacy & Data Protection

Concern: “What if my genetic data is misused by employers, insurers, or others?”

What’s Being Done:

Most countries have strict laws (like India’s proposed Digital Personal Data Protection Act and international standards like GDPR) that regulate:

How genetic data is stored

Who has access to it

What it can be used for

At Greenarray, we follow robust encryption, consent-based sharing, and strict confidentiality protocols.

You always retain ownership of your data—and you can request its deletion at any time.

⚖️ 2. Discrimination

Concern: “Could I be denied health insurance or a job because of my genes?”

What’s Being Done:

In many places, laws prohibit genetic discrimination in employment or insurance.

Ethical labs and hospitals clearly separate clinical care from data reporting.

Genetic counselors are trained to guide conversations without bias and with sensitivity.

🧬 3. Informed Consent

Concern: “Do I really understand what I’m signing up for?”

What’s Being Done:

Ethical genetic testing includes a pre-test counseling session that explains:

What the test will look for

What the results could mean

Whether the test might reveal something unexpected

You must give informed, written consent before any sample is processed.

At Greenarray, we believe education is empowerment—and we never move forward without clear understanding and agreement.

👨‍👩‍👧 4. Family Implications

Concern: “If I test positive for a condition, it might affect my whole family—should I tell them?”

What’s Being Done:

Genetic counselors are trained to help you navigate how to communicate results with relatives.

While sharing is encouraged for health reasons, your confidentiality is respected.

In some cases, family-based testing is recommended—with everyone’s consent.

🤰 5. Reproductive Ethics

Concern: “Is it right to make decisions about children based on genetics?”

What’s Being Done:

Carrier screening helps identify risks of inherited disorders, but decisions remain personal.

Clinics and counselors emphasize non-directive support—they don’t push any specific choice.

The goal is informed decision-making, not judgment or pressure.

🌍 6. Access and Equity

Concern: “Will genetic testing only be available to those who can afford it?”

What’s Being Done:

Institutions like Greenarray aim to make testing affordable and accessible to all, not just a privileged few.

Partnerships with public health bodies and outreach programs are helping to reduce health disparities in genetics.

🧭 Final Word: Responsibility Is Built Into the Process

Genetic testing is a powerful tool—but it should always be handled with ethics, empathy, and expertise. By combining strong laws, trusted practices, and transparent communication, the industry is working hard to protect your rights while unlocking the benefits of your DNA.

[stevensaus]

That does not mean what you think it means: A Tale of Two Articles And A Staff Meeting

Once upon a time, I was in a staff meeting. {1} At the time, I was in an industry that is practically required to gather customer satisfaction results. Every month, we'd hear what our customers had to say. Or at least, a few of them. Despite having hundreds of customers every month, we rarely got more than ten surveys back, and often fewer than five. If you forced the equations to calculate the margin of error with that low of a sample size -- which I had -- you ended up with a margin of error greater than 20%. So when, that month, we got two surveys back, I did not take the 5% drop in our satisfaction scores seriously. My manager at the time, however, did. When others complained, that manager said, "Well, it's not like we have anyone here who knows statistics." Everyone looked at me. They all knew I was teaching a research methods class at the time. That manager's behavior -- wanting to have some number, any number, to track -- is too common. Back in my economic development days, I learned about the "Shoot anything that flies, claim anything that falls" methodology that gets implemented when it's difficult (or impossible) to get real data. That motivation -- on top of people trying to make statistics lie for them -- leads to some really wrongheaded news out there. For example, GoBankingRates decided that it was going to write an article about "The Most Loved Company In Every State." It would have absolutely received a failing grade in my research methods class. The article claimed that "high profits and sales revenue" -- measured by Fortune 500's lists -- and "happy employees" -- measured by Glassdoor ratings -- "typically are good indicators that a company holds a positive relationship with its consumers." Which makes no damn sense. - Larger companies, thanks to economic pressures, often dominate choices for their industry. This is particularly true in all portions of the healthcare industry. For example, I effectively have only two hospital networks that I could go to (fewer if one is out of network with my insurance), and if I've broken a leg, it doesn't really matter how much I may loathe one or the other. - How a company treats its employees has no relationship to how it treats its customers. Just look at Amazon. - Glassdoor ratings are subject to a high degree of selection bias. (What percentage of janitors or cafeteria workers do you think have put in a Glassdoor rating versus white collar workers?) However, that's just sloppy research. Then you've got the people who are actively misusing statistics. Take Senator Bill Cassidy (R-LA) who recently "demanded accountability" from the Secretary for Health and Human Services... because he thinks that too much of the CDC workforce works remotely. As of September 2022, 78% of workers for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, under the purview of HHS, worked remotely. Comparatively, estimates suggest that between 27% and 50% of the total United States workforce are remote at least part-time. "The public health conditions that led to widespread, full-time remote work, therefore, are no longer present," said Cassidy, citing the official end of the COVID-19 emergency declaration in May. ... Cassidy also asked Becerra to provide information on whether HHS monitors the productivity of remote employees compared to in-person workers. Measuring productivity is not a factor of physical presence, but rather "have you completed your assigned work in the alloted time?" Using physical location as a productivity metric is not about productivity, but instead about control and dehumanization. It shows, because Cassidy's comparison gets more idiotic the harder you look at it. When I worked in direct patient care, of course I did in-person work. There is nothing about my current position that requires me to be in an office, and quite a few benefits from me not being in one. Comparing the two is like comparing apples and chairs. Cassidy is yet another example of someone trying -- and failing -- to sound "reasonable" while pursuing an ideological agenda to hurt the CDC for ... apparently working to save lives during the pandemic. Sadly, we cannot expect journalists to do this kind of analysis -- unless, of course, they're comedians. Stay safe out there. {1} Check my artistic license policy. Featured Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay Read the full article

[spockandawe]

@curlicuecal tagged me into the post meme about ten songs! I'll go ahead and post ten songs by ten artists that I've been particularly fixated on lately, it's all personal bias all the way down, babey

Colm McGuinness: Sleeping In The Cold Below - Let's start off with a representative sample, my head is filled with folk and filk and irish and shanties, just check out this artist for a clear breakdown of my tastes, because I could fill out the whole list with just this man's work. Musically speaking, if I could grow up to be anyone, it would be HIM. I yearn so hard for his instrument collection and vocal range, even if I'm operating in different octaves.

Malinda: Dúlamán - Feels slightly like cheating, because I'm fairly sure I found her through Colm McGuinness (the Hoist The Colors collab), but god, her voice is DIVINE, and she's got a fantastic balance of trad covers and newer music. Songs in gaelic can be tricky to rec, even if I'm about to do it again, but some of them just have so much bewitching LIFE that I can't resist.

Celtic Woman: Téir Abhaile Riú - I have to tell you, it was both disorienting and delightful when this started getting used as a sound in tiktoks. The short excerpt is good, but the whole song is so much fun! I know it's kind of redundant to talk up Irish songs as being catchy as hell, but this is really such a good one.

The Longest Johns: On The Railroad - Speaking of catchy... I'm a basic binch, give me a train song that sounds like a train, and I'm all over that to an embarrassing degree. Skimbleshanks isn't going to be on here, but only because it'd be cheating, I wasn't thinking about it until I started thinking about why I like this. And you get a train song that's ALSO a work song? Hell yes, gimme

Great Big Sea: Process Man - I agonized over what Great Big Sea song to include (old black rum? donkey riding? excursion around the bay?) but this is truly such a classic, it's so catchy and memorable. And it's great if you're feeling like an exploited #resource at your day job!

The High Kings: McAlpine's Fusiliers - Speaking of being an exploited, expendable resource, ONE LAST IRISH SONG. But I can't leave this out! The High Kings are so good, but McAlpine's Fusiliers is the CATCHIEST melody line by any artist. I am typing slowly because I have no choice to sing along since I opened the video to get the url, send help

Hozier: The Humours Of Whiskey - You know I really intended to have other flavors of music on here too, but. Again, the song is too catchy for me to resist. This is only a partial cover of the full song, because he's just doing it offhand. But his voice is so perfect and the delivery so flawless, I live for this 52 second clip, haha

Delta Rae: Bottom Of The River - Technically I am showing a little more range than previous entries have done, but uh, I know that's only barely/technically true. But there's so much good stuff in this weird corner! And my mainest criteria for how much I like music is how fun it is to sing along, and this is seriously peak singalong content.

The Merry Wives Of Windsor: Siuil A Run: Oh no, another gaelic title. But it's also partly in english, and this is another song I'll listen to by anyone who covers it, and another group where I'll listen to any music they produce! I recommend their entire back catalog, very strongly. Fair warning they have a notable bawdy portion of their catalog, but I'm being good and not linking something like 'come roll me away,' or 'the cockerel song,' so you can listen without fear. But they are SUCH a fun group, I love them to bits.

Mary Black: Colcannon - Ah, screw it, I have a brand. Let's wrap it up with a song that's literally about potatoes! Also an impossibly catchy melody. This song has been stuck in my head since it absolutely Ruined me with homesickness back in grad school. And you know what, I'm also linking this bonus version with worse audio, but it's a 1986 recording of the black family on tv. There's just something about watching irish singing that makes me LIVE.

--

oh no, tagging people. I'm chickening out, sorry. If you want to do it and point your finger at me, go for it! but it's been a long week and I contracted a bad case of the Shy it looks like

[nightswithkookmin]

OH I REALLY WAS GONNA GO...

Close shop and everything. I was done ready to pack my bags.

To some extent I am done.

But then I heard some doodles and crayons rallying up to block and report me blah blah

One thing i hate more than being a headless super obsessed toxic stan is unhinged bigots and racist homophobic antis who try to weaponize their numbers to silence people.

That's where I draw the line.

I'm not going anywhere they can fume and die😌

The last i checked, projecting yourself and your views and values on to others and idols isn't a crime nor does it violate any social media platform policies.

Tumblr can't eject me just because I think my bias holds certain views or do not hold certain views.

It's called free speech free expression and once these racist homophobic bubble gums pass kindergarten they'll finally figure out how it all works.

Thats not to say I'm not taking time out to work on myself and heal my traumas. Mental health is something I take seriously in spite of my pettiness and kickass nature.

Not allowing myself to be bullied, silenced etc is to me a form of self love. So I'm here. They are gonna smell my pepper from now

I'm in the process of realigning myself and reorienting myself with my values because I feel I had slowly gradually started to compromise it in the name of stanning.

I am one person who being gay and black, used to be heavily uncomfortable with certain remarks and jokes BTS made in the past and even dealt with the brunt of certain artistic choices they made.

From certain members teasing others for their dark skin and tanned skin. Claiming certain members are too dark to see in a room, and making fun of them for becoming too tanned in the sun- through to the cultural appropriation.

Being dark skinned, and having been raised a black kid, I used to get told a lot that my black skin is nasty. Heard the too dark to spot in bed joke one too many times. Have been told to bleach my skin and lighten it up to look pretty. Soak in acid. Have been compared to baboons and monkeys because I'm black skinned.

So to see people I stan repeat these same rhetorics to eachother, make fun of eachother because they have darker skin, it really did a number on me.

At the very least, these statements they made were emboldening the racist pockets of the fandom and normalizing color discrimination. Not to mention it pushed some of us to internalize racism and hate for ourselves and our skins.

But I called it out. Foreign culture or not black people exist and there are black people in South Korea. It's insensitive for them not to know that these rhetorics are wrong and rooted in colorism and racism.

I take pride in the fact, I didn't let my love for BTS cloud my judgment. I spoke up for myself and for other dark skinned people who felt harmed by these jokes they made.

Not everyone who criticizes BTS is their enemy or anti or fake stan. I think it's brainless and disingenuous to lump everyone who so much as calls BTS out for when they say and do problematic stuff into the pocket of anti. That's what brainless stans do.

BTS gets criticized a lot. Some are baseless criticisms rooted in malice and some I'd say are constructive. And if by now you can't tell the difference then sorry for you.

Last year, Agust D came under fire for sampling bits of Jim Jones in his music and to this day some people still don't know why it was problematic for him to have made that artistic choice.

JK went out to Itaewon with his friends. Doesn't seem harmful. But he's choice resulted in the LGBTQ plus community being blamed and stigmatized for spreading the Corona virus.

As a queer woman, am I supposed to applaud him and his friends in this situation or even defend them when the LGBTQ community is the one that suffered the most and is still suffering for their actions?

I hate to be the one to say this, but BTS and idols in general are influencers too. They may not intentionally set out to promote certain life styles but people look up to them and people buy into their messages, advocacy and lifestyle.

Making self deprecating jokes about their bodies is all fun and all until you realize there are little boys and girls at home who look exactly like them or have their exact body type.

And each time they say their body isn't nice. That they are fat and they need to lose weight or do this or that to be beautiful and valid, they are not just saying it to themselves. They are reaffirming the self deprecating beliefs of the millions of people who watch them and stan them about their looks and their bodies.

Fat phobia is real. Body dysmorphia is real and you may not think your faves suffer from these but there are people out there in the community who do.

It's like my mixed cousins who express frustration because they aren't white enough or their eyes aren't blue or their hair isn't straight. They hate the blackness in them and that is internalized racism. When they express these frustrations to me it makes me sad. It hurts me and makes me question whether I'm in the right to be confident in my blackness.

That's the same thing BTS do to people with body issues when they talk shit about themselves. Shit is not funny at all.

And I feel sad that i lost sight of that along the way thinking my faves could do no wrong and that everything they do is perfect and acceptable.

Worse, I held on to this delusional belief that my faves are so perfect I missed when I started imposing my standard of perfection on to them.

In my perfect world, my fave is ok with who they are, is so perfect they don't wanna change anything about themselves, aren't problematic, dont have a dark past, don't have their own issues they deal with and everything they do is just right perfect.

I called my fave perfect one too many times it started to look that way in my head. They are beautiful and yes they are perfect but they are human too.

I'm wrong. My fave is wrong and we both need to hit a timeout.

Yesterday, I saw hashtags trending on Twitter because Hybe staff had decided to use speech often co opted by antis against a certain member.

It's crazy how we as fans can hold other people accountable for when they use speech that harms the members but can't call those same members out when they use speech that harms themselves.

To put this into perspective, there's another fave i stan who in recent times talks about how they don't like their face anymore and that they don't feel handsome.

Immediately, i go, that's not true sir you are being too hard on yourself and even join a certain nasty group of shippers in reaffirming and reassuring him that he is handsome- as JK says very often.

But I think if this fave of mine started wearing too much makeup to hide their face because they thought it wasn't as beautiful, or if this fave decided to go under the knife to get work done on his face to look beautiful then I'd have serious issues with that.

It would be frustrating if people came out to defend this fave claiming 'he enjoys going under the knife' and he 'enjoys wearing make up' and proceed to hurl slurs at others who point out how not ok that is by calling such people fake stans and antis and go on blocks demanding people block them etc.

I'm just gonna chalk this whole controversy over Jimin down to range. Not everyone has the debt and range to engage in certain conversations and as someone pointed out beauty standards are complicated and nuanced.

I know the kind of stan i want to be. And it is not the kind of stan who bully others to defend my bias when they've done something wrong or grey.

I have always thought of myself as someone who would defend my faves even against themselves regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I don't want to compromise my values for anyone and I'm not going to. I think Jimin self deprecating and degrading his body and proceeding to tweak it through exercising is fucked up. I won't recommend anyone do that.

And if there are environmental and psychological factors that are pushing him and impacting his choices like I theorized in past posts then i can understand and empathize with him. Idol industry will fuck you up physically and mentally.

After careful consideration that's the stand I've taken. And i think that's what I needed to hear days ago on this topic.

And If his decision to exercise his body and buff up comes from a place of self love and not because he hates body and thinks it doesn't look nice then I think that is worth celebrating and I need to accept that too.

I'm chilling on the shipping and stanning shit like I said. I don't think I owe anyone explanations for it. I'm just taking care of myself and my mental health.

But I'm gonna exist in here till haters explode and rain down like a billion confetti tossed in the air.

GOLDY

[prince-of-elsinore]

A few personal thoughts on the Samdean shipper survey results (which overall I very much enjoyed reading):

1. Season 2 supremacy :))))

2. I'm just a little surprised at how many more fans favor Sam than Dean, but there are a few things it has me considering: 1) this is only a snapshot of Wincest fandom at this point in time and I seriously doubt this was the case in the early days. Obviously once D*stiel became so big it drained a lot of Dean fans off into that ship. This is very specifically people involved in fandom in the post-finale era, and I wonder if Dean's death may have been a further drain on Dean-fan engagement. And 2) sample bias, maybe? The survey did get a lot of results, but considering it was made by a Sam stan and circulated heavily among other such blogs, I wondered whether that would skew results. Of course it's impossible to say. And 3) not sure if this is, again, sort of an accident of timing (with many Dean stans disliking the finale) but it seems to me like Wincest tumblr itself is surprisingly Sam-leaning and I'm curious whether that really reflects the wider Wincest fandom (I don't say Bibro b/c to me, you have to love both to be a Bibro) or whether they've naturally migrated towards each other on this particular platform and are therefore over-represented here. I have no idea what twitter or discord fandom is like. Finally 4) I'm REALLY curious to know how different it would look if Sam and Dean equally had been an option. I'm guessing that most people only favor one brother very slightly (me!) and might rather choose that, or do genuinely love both the same. I would guess that Sam and Dean together would receive nearly as many votes as either separately--but maybe not! Maybe stan mentality has permeated fandom too much :\

3. It would be really interesting to see how favorite character lines up with top/bottom preference. I think I'm an outlier in that I prefer my fave (Dean) as a top 😳(not a stickler about it though)

4. Now for just a little salt lol: guess my fandom annoyance answer got subsumed into sam v. dean drama, which I'm surprised didn't get more answers tbh. Never saw dean negativity named as an annoyance but saw dean negativity itself in the answers...🙄 The man is far from perfect but wow am I ever tired of seeing the word "abuse" thrown around (I mean I expected to see it, and it was just a couple answers but I still had to read 'em lol. Sometimes I wish I'd never dipped my toe into this fandom so I would still be blissfully ignorant of this take). Also if I had done that survey more recently I think I would have had more to say, I've sort of just recently put my finger on some fandom trends I don't like. I don't wanna go into detail but... suffice to say I think a lot of things some (especially younger?) Sam stans are very into, I am not into. Love Sam a lot, but often just don't vibe with the sort of headcanons or takes his stans push, and it's why I unfollowed some stan blogs a while back. Feel much happier now in my Bibro/Wincest/Platonic Weird Brothers corner 😌(All love to you if you favor Sam, no skin off my back. It's not the fact of favoring Sam that I dislike, it's more to do with other tastes that somehow seem associated and circulated heavily among certain blogs, but aren't common to all Sam fans. Safe to say if you're in my notes regularly this doesn't apply to you)

5. Okay finally to end on some positivity, I'm happy to get such a long fic rec list and felt inspired to share a few of my fave Wincest authors, along with stellar fics of theirs. Just the first ones that come to mind:

Dyed_Red--Squint into the Sunset | Glare into the Gloaming lovetincture--Collision Course Morgan--Midwinter Montana sonofabiscuit77--A Life Most Ordinary (all their AUs are great) thecapn--Baba O'Riley and Eleanor Rigby walk into a bar (their AUs are also great) killabeez--Carry Me Over the Sky (one of my first fandom faves!) 

[sub-k-pop-archive]

what are ur favorite blogs?

Hi! So, I currently follow A LOT of blogs, which made this quite hard to put together, but I tried, lol. If you’re on desktop, you can actually find a few of my favorite blogs listed on my Tumblr page :)

But yeah, since I’m mostly into NCT and SKZ at the moment, this will primarily consist of sub!idol blogs that write for those two groups. Also, I’ve added some non-smut / non-sub!idol blogs that I really like, in case you’d like to check those out too.

With that said, here you go!

Disclaimer: If you aren’t on this list and I follow you, please, don’t take it personally. These blogs are just a small sample of all the blogs I follow and love, so don’t worry, you definitely belong on this list as well! If I follow you or archive your fics, then I love your writing without a doubt ♥

Sub!idol blogs

@drippinlovetalk - one of my favorite blogs of all time. If you’re not following her already, I highly recommend you to do so. Nothing but creative, well-written, and just overall amazing fics. It doesn’t matter who your bias in NCT is, you'll end up reading everyone’s fics anyway because they’re all great.

@lovingonrepeat - love, love, love her blog!! Her fics are so nice to read, I love them. I tend to get distracted easily when I’m reading, but her stories are just so well put together that it’s impossible to stop, lol. But seriously!! I’ve re-read all of her fics multiple times, they’re just that good ♥

@capriccio-con-espressione - oof, this one. Her fics are very intense to me, in a way. I don’t know how to really describe it, but once you check out her work, you’ll understand what I mean. There’s always something to them that makes them really memorable and stand out. And don’t even get me started on her sub!Kun fics, it’s embarrassing how many times I’ve re-read those, lmao. And the sub!Winwin one too!! Gosh, I loved that one so much as well!! Seriously, just check out everything she has, you won’t regret it.

@kisskissbanggang - I love her fics, oh my god. Both the sfw and the nsfw ones, they’re just something else. If anyone wants to read some amazing sub!idol fics with a great plot, character portrayal, and just everything in general, this is the blog for you! I especially love her sub!SKZ fics, but she writes incredible NCT fics as well. They’re just all lovely tbh :’)

@lavenderbexlatte - !!!!!! Another blog that not only writes great sub!idol fics, but they have immaculate plots as well?? And it all just comes together so nicely?? And it’s so captivating too?? Ugh, I just love reading her work so much!! So go and support her as well!! She’s incredibly talented and definitely deserves more love and attention!!

@submissivekpop - one of the first sub!idol blogs I’ve followed, and I still love re-reading her fics to this day. Well-written, great to read, and just overall amazing. I’ve always loved coming back to her blog and checking out her fics whenever I discovered a new kpop group, she never disappoints ♥. Please, give her lots of love and support, she deserves it so much :)

@artificialvoe - another one of my absolute favorites!! I’m a sucker for sub!idol reactions, and this blog is just heaven for me. Lots of different groups, themes, kinks, etc., there’s something for just about everyone. (I’ve also discovered quite a few kinks thanks to this blog, but that is a story for another day entirely-)

@sluttyten - also one of the first sub!idol blogs I’ve followed and one that I still cherish to this day. You have it all here - reactions, imagines, oneshots, series, everything. So much content, talent, and just all things great in one place. I don’t think I’ll ever stop recommending her blog, it’s one of my favorite accounts on all of Tumblr. I’ve literally spent most of my time at my part-time job reading her work, and it made it 1000% better.

@submissive-bangtan - ugh!! The power, the skill, the execution!! If you want to read a perfectly written fic with lots of plot, great dialogue, and beautifully described scenery (in other words: a fic that’s tastefully horny with a great deal of talent), this is a blog for you. It’s also one of the first blogs that introduced me to sub!idol content (and awakened the inner dom), so it holds a special place in my heart. But wait!! There’s more!! Not only does she write great fics, but she has so many interesting astrology & kibbe posts as well!! What’s not to love? Exactly, it’s all amazing. Now go and give Caro the love she deserves, damn it >:(

Non-sub!idol blogs / non-smut blogs

@warmau - my comfort blog, omg. I love her writing style. All of her stories pull you in so easily and are so fun to read! If you ever want to destress, relax after a hard day, or just want to enjoy a heart-warming and beautifully written story, check out her fics!! All of them, in fact!! Right now!! Go!!

@jenomark - I’ve been reading her work today for like what? 5 hours straight? Well, guess what? I don’t regret it in the slightest. As I’ve said, I’m a sucker for reactions/headcanons/imagines/etc., and there are just so many!! And they’re so good too!! How have I not discovered this gem of a blog sooner?? I’m in awe :’) 

@neokollection - even though she’s on a hiatus right now, I love going through her blog every now and then and re-reading her work. Another blog that’s just great for whenever you want to relax and be all soft and comfy :> Please give her lots of love, she’s an incredibly talented and hard-working writer ♥

@hoe9for9kpop - so many groups to choose from!! So many incredibly well-written fics!! I’m in love!! One of the first blogs I’ve followed and one that I definitely have a soft spot for. Her content is very diverse, so whatever it is that you’re looking for, you’ll definitely find it here. And not only that, but you’ll discover so many other amazing fics too! Please read them all, they’re great :’(

[luxshine]

The Great Supernatural Rewatch - Devil’s Trap

I started writing this Supernatural Rewatch way back when I finished season 9, due to the constant arguments about how Sam was a perfect Saint while Dean was an abusive controlling brother, versus Sam as a horrible hypocritical monster who was a thorn on Saint Dean’s side. And while I do admit I have a bias for Dean, I wanted to know if my position was based on fact and numbers, or if I was just being blinded by the fact that Jensen acted Dean a lot more empathic than Jared acted Sam.

There was also my wish to point out how many times Sam has made non-apologies because man, he is a master at those.

At some point I lost the free time I had to rewatch and tally the episodes, and the series kept going and… it ended. And it ended with such a… controversial final three episodes, that I ended back in the fandom. And at first I thought, ok, I can finish this meta with Season 1, call it a good sample for the brother’s relationship, and that’s it.

I am not sure that’s a good point to end. I kind of want to keep going and while I don’t know WHEN I will finish it (Seriously, 15 seasons are A LOT people), at least I know that as long as there’s interest (and I mostly mean MY interest, to be fair… I don’t want to give you all false hopes), I will keep going.

Because MAN, it’s amazing how the writers managed to write a semi-coherent series when they kept forgetting continuiy from one episode to the next.

So without more ado, let’s dig into Devil’s Trap and finish the first Season of Supernatural, back when everyone were babies.

General stuff

Do you have any idea how weird it is to see a The Road so Far in the last episode of the season WITHOUT Carry On my Wayward Son? Because it is and now I have the theory that they didn’t plan at all for it to become the unofficial theme of the series despite the fact that, in hindsight, the lyrics represent the boys perfectly. Except for the whole “peace when you are done” thing that was done so badly. AHEM.

In any case, this time “The Road so Far” is literally “last episode edited in a weird way to make it look as if it had been a season wide arc and just in case a week was enough for you to forget everything that happened”. I checked. There are no scenes from any other episode. So with the already established idea that we’re getting a season-wide summary, now it seems as if John had been with them since the beginning.

And now I do wonder if certain parts of the fandom only remember said Roads so Far because it would explain some things.

Anyway, we start where we left off: Sam furious at Dean because his brother didn’t let him do a kamikaze run into a house on fire, and Dean calling his father’s phone to get the call answered by a very angry Meg.

And here? Oh boy, we start with a lot of baggage for just a minute or so of story. Literally. Because the SECOND Dean realizes that the demons have their dad, he goes into strategy mood. Yes, Dean, the brother the writers insist is the dumb muscle, the one who can’t lead, the one who only knows how to follow orders. It is really frustrating to hear those lines parroted when we have this dialogue:

Dean: They’ve got Dad.

Sam: Meg? What’d she say?

Dean: I just told you, Sammy. Okay. Okay.

Dean takes the Colt and tucks it into the back of his jeans.

Sam: What are you doing, Dean?

Dean : We got to go.

Sam: Why?

Dean: Because the demon knows we’re in Salvation, all right. It knows we got the Colt. It’s got Dad – it’s probably coming for us next.

Sam: Good. We’ve still got three bullets left. Let it come.

Dean: Listen, tough guy, we’re not ready, okay? We don’t know how many of them are out there. Now, we’re no good to anybody dead. We’re leaving.... now!

I am not counting this as Dean forcing Sam to do something because it’s a logical thing to do, btw. If roles were reversed, it wouldn’t be Sam forcing Dean to do something.

Anyway, just to be impressed: While Sam, the “logical” brother who left hunting because he thought getting revenge over his dead mother was stupid (remember the Pilot? The writers don’t! ) is ready to kill himself in a western showdown with the demon as “they still have three bullets” while Dean is already making a plan. It’s not a very good plan as far as we know as it’s basically “We’ve got to run as we have no idea what’s coming”, but it’s better than “let’s stay and hope it’s only three demons”.

And the timing is also interesting: Dean has, so far, been willing to listen to Sam’s ideas in every episode. Most of the time, as we’ve seen, has let Sam plan the things. Same with John. Second John arrives, Dean takes a backseat and lets them work out the details. HOWEVER, the instant his family is in REAL danger of dying, when it’s obvious that their plans were the ones who got them there and Dean is about to lose the only people in the world he thinks give a crap about him? (Because we’ve established that Dean cares a lot about other people, and other people care for Dean even if he doesn’t believe it, even in season 1), then he’s not going to stand for their foolishness and rashness. Then it’s time to put everything he has learned (and later, much later, we’ll learn that hunting alone Dean ended up being better than his father), and make sure everyone gets out alive.

And Sam is not going to stand for that.

Well, he is, since next scene they’re driving out of dodge on the Impala, but Sam is giving us Bitchface #1 (It wasn’t that present back in season 1, it wasn’t until later when it would become Sam’s stereotypical response to anything he disliked), and he insist that they could’ve taken the Demons and that it’s most probable that John is dead.

Once again, we see the contrast between the brothers, and it’s a weird mirror to the conflict through the whole series that in theory shouldn’t work, because it is literally contradicting everything the narrative has told us about Dean and Sam for 21 episodes, but it works thanks to Jensen and Jared’s acting. I know in other meta I’ve been critical of Jared’s acting in future seasons, but here? He’s top notch.

Because we have Sam insisting that they have to keep going, try to kill the demon and “finish the job” because “it’s what Dad would’ve wanted” (Which is, except for the past tense, exactly what Dean told Sam back in Wendigo), while Dean literally says “Screw the job” and “We can’t do this alone, we need help.”

And it can’t be considered “Character growth” because for Sam it would be going backwards, and for Dean… well, it would be if it wasn’t because through the whole series he has been more interested in saving people, which is exactly what he is doing here. Finding a way to save their dad, no matter what, and revenge can take a back seat.

We also keep seeing how fast thinking he is, as at this point he already has a plan to exchange the Colt for their father, even if Sam thinks the demons have already killed John, and figure out their location by going to Lincon first.

But when Sam points out the demons may not have left any signs or clues, Dean, whom I may remind you has been painted by the script and writers as the controlling older brother who manipulates Sam and forces him to hunt, listens to Sam and agrees. They need help.

And here we get introduced to one of the mainstays of the series until season 7: Singer Auto Salvage, and Bobby Singer, Jim Beaver himself.

I could write at least other 10,000 words on why Bobby is SO important to the Supernatural Mythos, a figure akin to Joe Dawson in Highlander, to Giles in Buffy, and probably the one character that 90% of the fandom loves even if he had a couple of missteps in seasons 4 and 6. But right now is not the time to do so.

So we meet Bobby, who is immediately presented to us as a sort of opposite of Missouri, speaking about old friends of the family who are into hunting. Because Missouri obviously only tolerated Dean, and was still in good terms with John, while Bobby is introduced to us by offering Dean a drink, automatically putting him on Dean’s side, so to speak, and his relationship with John was… well, weird.

Dean: Bobby, thanks. Thanks for everything. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure we should come.

Bobby: Nonsense. Your Daddy needs help.

Dean: Well, yeah, but last time we saw you, I mean, you did threaten to blast him full of buckshot. Cocked the shotgun and everything.

Bobby: Yeah, well, what can I say? John just has that effect on people.

And truer words were never said in Supernatural Season 1. Because even if the worst of John was yet to come, about half the fandom was already agreeing with Bobby at this time.

We never find out, at least not in the series’ canon (I’ve written about what is canon, what is secondary canon), why Bobby and John had this particular conflict. Later on, fandom has decided that it was something to do with Bobby absolutely disagreeing on how John raised his kids, and to be fair, it’s the most probable reason given how much Bobby loves the Winchester’s boys and how little time he has later on to say good things about John. But here? It seems he still has some love to lose for the Winchester patriarch. Or so much for the brothers that he’s willing to forgive and forget.

Also, in what I think is another great example of old Supernatural establishing shots, we get how AMAZING Bobby is as a hunter. I mean, yes, in the future Dean and Sam will be legends, but Bobby Singer? Bobby Singer was THE Hunter. Not only his house is full with books full of lore that the guys had NEVER seen (Books that we can assume not even the Men of Letters had, given how… lackluster the Men of Letters were in the past, as we learn in season 8), but also, given that we have literally no time between Sam looking at the Key of Solomon and Meg coming bursting in, and by then Dean and Bobby ALREADY had the plan to catch her, AND the Devil Trap we see is not painted but BURNT into the ceiling? It means that Bobby HAD that Devil Trap before the brother’s came in.

It means that either he already had it despite the fact that he knew of no more than 5 demon possessions a year, except for the last one when they spiked, or the SECOND he heard that two of John Winchester’s old contacts were killed, probably by a demon? He had his house protected ENOUGH so that he could trap and interrogate a Demon should any come knocking.

Seriously, Boy Scouts have NOTHING on Bobby Singer, Hunter Extraordinaire.

And of course, that’s why he had to be fighting with John. Because if he hadn’t then we’d be questioning why the hell the brothers didn’t go to him earlier in the series as seriously, this man is amazing.

Ahem. Sorry. I get very vocal about Bobby Singer, especially early seasons Bobby Singer.

In any case, Meg comes bursting in, and while she ignores Dean at first, by telekinetically throwing him towards some books, and threatens Sam asking for the Gun, this is all part of the Brother’s plan to lure her under the Devil’s Trap.

Which, btw, is a bit weird also because I already established how we know that the trap HAD to be there BEFORE the brothers came in, but Sam seemed to be JUST finding out about it when he saw the book so either he didn’t pay attention to the plan and just stumbled into doing his part by accident (Which once again make us wonder why the writers keep doing this thing where Sam looks as uninterested in anything not related to him), or the only reason for him to ask if the circles work while READING THE BOOK instead of looking up or being, I dunno, finishing painting the trap itself, is… kinda bad writing.

I swear, I love Supernatural, but when I start picking at it, it unravels like one of my knitting projects.

And NOW we get the title card and I am in page five of this Meta so we know this is going to be long and painful.

With Meg trapped and tied, Dean goes right into interrogating her to figure out where they are keeping John. At first, he’s calm and collected, but then Meg touches a very, very sore point for Dean.

Dean: Where’s our father, Meg? 

Meg: You didn’t ask very nice.

Dean: Where’s our father, bitch?

Meg: Jeez. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh wait, I forgot, you don’t.

And then, and only THEN, Dean hits her.

Which is really interesting, as Meg is the second person in the show to weaponize Mary’s memory against Dean… and the first was SAM.

Now. This is not to say that Sam is as bad as a demon –although this episode in particular ends up with a lot of parallels on how Dean’s family doesn’t treat him as nicely as some demons do- but as a very interesting parallel that the writers either tried to make or stumbled on by accident by squaring Sam DIRECTLY with the Hell side in the narrative, and thus, opening the door to Sam trying to be better, trying not to be a demon. Or at least they would if Sam had any reaction to that that wasn’t “Oh, I am confused”.

Sigh, writers. You had such a nice raw material to make a more interesting story arc for Sam than the usual Chosen One trip and you totally wasted it.

In any case, as Dean gets a bit more vicious with Meg and claims she’s not a girl, Bobby finally interferes and gives us THE line that will bring the fandom a TON of headaches later regarding meatsuits, vessels, consent and metaphors for sexual abuse that sometimes ARE metaphors for sexual abuse and sometimes aren’t because the writers weren’t thinking.

Bobby: Dean, you got to be careful with her. Don’t hurt her.

Dean: Why?

Bobby: Because she really is a girl, that’s why.

Sam: What are you talking about?

Bobby: She’s possessed. That’s a human possessed by a demon. Can’t you tell?

Now. This brings us TWO problems. One that is the aforementioned ton of headaches because no one in fandom agrees as to WHAT the writers were trying to portray with demon possessions and that in season 3 ended up with the heroes of the story becoming literal serial killers because they stopped caring for the humans being possessed because… well, reasons, I guess. But that is a continuous issue that we will discuss every time it changes so it’s not the one I want to talk about.

The SECOND problem is that Bobby IMPLIES that there are demons walking around that DON’T possess people. Because “that’s a human possessed by a demon” alone could be just establishing the rules of the world, and that’s ok since this is only the second time we have a demon standing next to the Winchesters (I still miss bungee jumping demon), but the next question “Can’t you tell?” is… problematic to say the least.

Because if he was trying to remind them that all demons on earth are possessing humans, as it will be in the future, Bobby SHOULD have said “Remember?” or “Didn’t your Dad teach you anything?” or something like that. But he says “CAN’T YOU TELL?”. Which implies a) there are demons who don’t need to possess people to walk on earth, and b) that they’re hard to distinguish from normal humans but not impossible to, as Bobby CAN tell.

And we NEVER, EVER mention that again, which is a thorn on my side as the whole meat suit/vessel thing introduced a lot of issues in the narrative by season 4 and here they had the solution to it all: To have SOME Demons and Angels possess people, and OTHERs, in particular the ones they wanted to redeem or keep in the good side, NOT need that.

But again, that’s for the future and for now, I will just tally it as a frigging dropped plot point that was about both brothers.

This is also the first time in the series where we see Dean hit a human-looking woman and the anger and rawness of the moment shocks even Sam. It’s quite noticeable, the way he and Bobby look at Dean as he is ready to keep hitting Meg, but also because it takes Meg mentioning their mother Mary to make him cross that line.

Yep, even this early on we know that you do not use Mary as an emotional weapon against Dean Winchester.

In any case, Dean takes this to be good news and immediately changes his plans, because again, the “dumb muscle” is the one who gets all the strategy.

They start exorcising Meg, trying to make her confess where the demons have John. This is a very raw scene, that puts Dean as the interrogator while Sam reads the exorcism stopping only to allow Dean to ask questions. The only time Sam interrupts is when he asks about Azazael despite Dean not caring about him at the time, and when Bobby points out that, should they exorcise the demon, they’re literally killing the girl inside as she would not have survived her fall in Shadow.

And boy, this is again a scene that could’ve been considered foreshadowing if I really believed in the “five year plan” myth because at some point, as Meg insist John was dead, Dean utters this chilling threat:

Dean: For your sake, I hope you’re lying. Cause if it’s true, I swear to God, I will march into hell myself and I will slaughter each and every one of you evil sons of bitches, so help me God!

The way Jensen delivered the line? If I had been Meg, I’d consider telling my bosses to change our plans about the Seals because it is clear he means it. Had they found John dead? No demon would’ve been spared Dean Winchester’s wrath.

I have to also give the proper credit to Nicki Aycox, Meg V 1.0. I know the fandom adores Rachel Miner, and don’t get me wrong, I do too, but Nicki made me not only fear Meg as an adversary, she also made Meg “Meg” in this scene. She is evil, manipulative and self serving. She holds out as long as she can, and then tries to play the heartstrings of the brothers, just to stay topside. She is magnificent, and as much as I love Rachel, I do wonder what would’ve been if Nicki had been called to reprise her role.

Once Dean is satisfied that he has the truth, he tells Sam to finish the exorcism, but Sam wants to keep the demon trapped to interrogate her about Yellow Eyes. It’s here when Bobby mentions that the girl, the human girl, is only alive thanks to the demon, and thus the exorcism would kill her, and here we get again to how moral Dean Winchester is, and how complicated as a hero he is to the audience.

Bobby: You said she fell from a building. That girl’s body is broken. The only thing keeping her alive is that demon inside. You exorcise it – that girl is going to die. 

Dean: Listen to me, both of you, we are not gonna leave her like that.

Bobby: She is a human being.

Dean: And we’re gonna put her out of her misery. Sam, finish it.

This is, after all, an early version of “At least he dies human”. But I need to point out that he is the only one that sees what is going on with Meg (the human) as torture, as misery. Bobby and Sam, who, ironically, will be the ones in this group to know what it is to be possessed by a Demon while Dean WILL become a demon, but not be possessed by one, and won’t be possessed by an angel until season 13, 12 years up the line, seem to think that human Meg would be ok being trapped in her own body as long as she’s alive, while Dean sees what it’s going on as a horrible fate.

And human Meg agrees, because she survives the exorcism and her first words to the brothers, as she’s dying, are “Thank you”.

Once again, Nicki Aycox gives us an amazing portrayal: We know Meg is dying, we know she won’t survive enough for 911 to get there, but she is determined to give one last fuck you to the demon who did it to her. She doesn’t blame the Winchesters, instead, she wants to help. She tells them she was possessed for a year (And anyone paying attention knows that means she was possessed probably as soon as Jess died and because she looked like Sam’s type), that John is alive, and that it’s a trap.

Sam, who had been against this from the beginning, still insists on asking for yellow eyes, but Meg doesn’t know about that. She can only tell them “By the River, Sunrise” about John, and dies, while Dean looks obviously guilty and conflicted despite the fact that Meg died thanking them for her freedom.

And I pause here to give a standing ovation, to Jensen, Nicki and Kim Manners, who directed the episode and gave us such a chilling scene even if he didn’t know at the time it would help to foreshadow a LOT for the future of the show.

Once Meg is dead, Bobby sends the brothers to save John and offers to be their safe house once they do by pointing that they can bring him there, and “he won’t even try to shoot him”, which again, says tons about Bobby’s relationship to the Winchesters, and how well Jim Beaver constructed him since right then and there we know that the brothers are no longer alone. That they can come back and plan properly to get Azazael out of the game, once they save John.

Once they get to the location given by Meg and, well, human Meg, Dean starts getting ready while Sam –who until now has been quite passive in the planning- checks the Key of Salomon, loaned by Bobby and starts painting two devil traps into the trunk. This brings a very annoyed yell from Dean and the following exchange:

Dean: Dude, what are you drawing on my car! 

Sam: It’s called a Devil’s trap. Demons can’t get through it or inside it.

Dean: So?

Sam: It basically turns the trunk into a lockbox.

Dean: So?

Which brings us to two very interesting things.

First, the writers REALLY need to decide who is giving exposition when, as not ten minutes ago, Sam WAS with Dean when Bobby explained the Devil Traps, AND when Bobby and Dean trapped Meg in one of them. The fact that Sam repeats this here? Makes it look as if he doesn’t trust his brother to remember that information. He didn’t need to explain to DEAN that Demons can’t get through the Trap, he needed to tell it to the audience, but the way they made it, it looks as if Sam thinks Dean is a moron.

Second: This is the FIRST time we see Dean obsessed with Baby’s well being. She’s still not called Baby, she’s still “My Car”, but it’s very interesting to see how it happens in an episode where they’re saving John when the LAST time they met with John, the thing John did to “let steam” out after arguing with Sam was to reproach Dean for how he was taking care of the Impala.

Little things that I doubt the writers, in this case the very same Eric Kripke who insisted on not keeping track of what he wrote by not having a series ‘ Bible, ever remembered but that constructed a very complex character in Dean.

My question here is, since it’s the first time we see Dean’s obsession with Baby is… Is he mad that Sam drew on her without permission? Or is he mad that he drew on her at all? WHAT was the aim for that moment from Kirpke, besides getting a start on the following argument? Why did we have to see that Sam doesn’t really considers the Impala “Dean’s car”, as much as “their car”, even if he hadn’t been around for years? Why do we have to know that Sam, in the end, doesn’t respect what Dean considers his own property, the same way he doesn’t respect Dean’s boundaries?

Mind you, this is season 1. We still haven’t gotten to the REAL conflicts between Sam and Dean, and yet we have this tiny moments where the text may be saying that Dean is the “controlling” one, but the images and the narrative show a very different take.

Which bring us to the REAL argument, which is, unfortunately, not about Dean’s boundaries but once again reveals a LOT of what will be the conflict in the future (Even if it was accidental)

Sam: So, we have a place to hide the Colt while we go get Dad.

Dean: What are you talking about? We’re bringing the Colt with us.

Sam: We can’t, Dean. We’ve only got three bullets left. We can’t just use them on any demon, we’ve got to use them on the demon.

Dean: No, we have to save Dad, Sam, okay? We’re gonna need all the help we can get.

Sam: Dean, you know how pissed Dad would be if we used all the bullets? Dean, he wouldn’t want us to bring the gun.

Dean: I don’t care, Sam. I don’t care what Dad wants, okay? And since when do you care what Dad wants?

Sam: We want to kill this demon. You used to want that, too. Hell, I mean, you’re the one who came and got me at school! You’re the one who dragged me back into this, Dean. I’m just trying to finish it!

Dean: Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can’t wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I’m gonna be the one to bury you. You’re selfish, you know that? You don’t care about anything but revenge.

Sam: That’s not true, Dean. (Dean scoffs) I want Dad back. But they are expecting us to bring this gun. They get the gun, they will kill us all. That Colt is our only leverage and you know it, Dean. We can not bring that gun. We can’t.

Dean: Fine.

Sam: I’m serious, Dean.

Dean: I said fine, Sam.

 So, once again, we see the priorities of each brother are very clear. Despite Dean having lived all his life under John’s rules, in theory looking for the demon, he really doesn’t care for revenge as much. And we, as an audience, have know that since Wendigo. Sure, he will get mad if you mention Mary, especially if you do so in anger, but he doesn’t care about REVENGE. His idea is “Saving people”, making sure no one else suffers as he did. Sam, however? Doesn’t see it that way. He, despite having known Dean for longer than the audience, seems to have forgotten all the times Dean not only said that saving lives was far more important than hunting the demon (usually in fights with Sam) but also, that Dean HAS been trying to give him outs from the hunting life at least for three episodes now (Which, depending on how the timeline works, could be between four and two months).

Sam, despite it all, doesn't know his brother, doesn’t care to know his brother, and is very eager to blame Dean for what was, in the end, Sam’s own choice. He forgets that Dean only asked him for help in ONE hunt, and that the rest were chosen by Sam as he wanted to avenge Jess.

It’s only when Dean lays out clearly that what he wants is his family safe, that he doesn’t want to lose them to the demon as he lost Mary (something that Sam would know if he had listened to half of what Dean said to stop him from going into the fire in the last episode, but I digress), when Sam finally brings out some logic to his argument, and shows the makings of a plan: The demons expect them, and expect them to have the gun, so it’s obviously a trap. It’s only then when Dean, not quite convinced, agrees and leaves the Gun, even as Sam seems to want to keep arguing even after he won.

Once again, funny how we’re told Sam is the one “Forced” by Dean to do things, when Dean capitulates more often than not, isn’t it?

(Yes, I know that Dean DID end up taking the gun, so, in case you’re wondering, no, I am not tallying this as Sam forcing Dean to do something, but it IS important to notice WHEN Dean capitulated, even if it was just an act)

The brothers leave baby behind and start walking through the city, until Dean spots a building named Sunrise, putting together the description demon Meg gave them and the last clue human Meg said. Sam points out this puts them at a disadvantage, since the demons know how they look while anyone inside could be a demon and they have no way of knowing who (I mean, it’s not as if there was a word they could say to figure it out, right? This is exactly what I mean when I say that the series needed a series bible from day one. How could they forget “Christo” in less than 12 episodes?) so Dean figures out a quick plan: they will pull the fire alarm, get the civilians out, and then sneak in while the firefighters are figuring out what’s going on.

Which brings us back to “Dean makes the plans, but Sam is the SMART brother”. Sigh.

The plan goes without a hitch, with the extra step of Dean pretending to live there to distract a fireman while Sam steals two uniforms. I love that scene, because Dean’s act as a worried owner for his dog –despite my long held, but debunked headcanon that Dean is more of a cat person- is perfect.

As the brothers get inside the building, we get another tidbit of Dean’s backstory that has been completely forgotten by writers and fans alike, at least in fan fic, that I need to point out because it goes again to show how little Sam cared to get to know his brother, despite “the brotherly bond” being the high selling point of the series:

Dean: I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.

Sam: You never told me that.

 And boy, there’s a lot to unpack here and we’re already in page 13 of this thing in word. I swear, this series makes me want to unravel every little thread.

First of, the fact that Dean specifically WANTED to be a fireman is quite telling: After all, firemen were the ones who saved the Winchester’s house, if not the Winchesters themselves, when Mary died. It’s not an admiration born out of being taken out of the burning house –we know Dean was already on his way out with Sammy and John did the extra steps of carrying them both before the house exploded- but it’s still a very interesting thing that, had he not been a hunter, he’d be fighting the OTHER thing that killed his mother. A job that is literally “Saving people”. (and as an aside, I really wonder why the hell whenever people write Dean in AUs where he’s not a hunter, more often than not he’s a Mechanic while Firefighter Dean is quite rare)

Second, Sam’s claim that Dean “never told him that”. I don’t if you’ve been around kids, but once they choose “what they want to be when they grow up” they DON’T SHUT UP about it. Be it something realistic, like Veterinary or Astronaut, or yes, Firefighter, or something completely fantastic like Dinosaur tamer, or Unicorn breeder? Kids will TELL you about it. And everyone who cares to listen or not to listen. So either Sam simply forgot all the times Dean expressed admiration for Firefighters, or even wanting to be one or saying “if we weren’t hunters, I’d totally go to Firefighter training”, which doesn’t say much about Sam’s interest in his brother, or Dean simply never expressed said desire out loud because he knew, even when he was 7, that he’d never get to be anything but his father’s soldier, and just ignored the fact that maybe hunting was not his life.

And I don’t know which one is more depressing, to be honest.

We don’t get Dean’s reply to Sam’s claim however, as his amazing homemade EMF reads high activity.

I have to admit, seeing the brothers so young, so ignorant of what’s going on, and still having a perfect plan to fight whatever it is that they need to fight? It reminds me of why I kept watching the series despite my distaste for “chosen one” narratives. I mean, let’s break it down since we’re already way past the “too long” limit: They covered their faces, so they can win a couple of seconds against the demons, despite knowing the demons would fight any human no matter what. They use the door of the apartment as a first shield so they can use the water tanks that come WITH their disguises, filled with holy water and use that to disorient the demons, far stronger than them, to lock them in a closet and then line the closet with salt so that the demons can’t get out.

Two demons down, no causalities.

Dean gets into the room where the demons kept John, tied to a bed, and confirms that he’s breathing. Before he can free John, Sam stops him to remind him that John could be possessed and, just to make sure, throws holy water at their dad, who doesn’t starts smoking immediately, so they continue their plan to free him, sure that it’s John –who is completely out of it. Sort of awake, yes, but so full of drugs that he’s basically dead weight.

Outside, demons possess a man and a firefighter to go and chase the brothers, who manage to escape through the fire escape (The demonic possession, btw, is a lot more discrete and less dramatic than when the bungee jumping demon did it, which will come into play in a few minutes). Outside, as Sam is checking how to run away, he’s attacked by the same demon that shot Meg, who starts hitting him so hard that Sam can’t defend himself, and force-throws Dean away –after Dean left John sitting next to the building, alone and unprotected.

But before he can make Sam into a pulp, he’s shot in the head and dies. The camera pans to a grave looking Dean, holding the Colt.

This whole sequence is shot and directed beautifully, so please, another minute of silence to the memory of Kim Manners, the best damn director Supernatural ever had.

Next we know, the brothers are holed up in a cabin in the woods, and Sam is salting the windows. WHY didn’t they go directly to Bobby? Well, Sam asks if they could’ve been followed, and Dean replies he doesn’t think so, so I believe it’s implied they didn’t want to put Bobby in more danger, but let’s be honest, it’s because at Bobby’s house with the Devil Trap and all, the following scene would be impossible.

And here’s where the pain starts.

Sam thanks Dean for saving his life, not realizing that Dean is being haunted by that action. At that point, Dean, who later will be known as “emotional repressed” by most of the fandom, writers, and people involved in the show, opens up immediately about the problem:

Dean: You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there.

Sam: You didn’t have a choice, Dean.

Dean: Yeah, I know, that’s not what bothers me.

Sam: Then what does?

Dean: Killing that guy, killing Meg. I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t even flinch. For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill, it’s just, uh .... it scares me sometimes.

What Dean doesn’t say, but that we can see in Jensen’s acting, is that what he did was kill an innocent (Well, two in his mind, although he didn’t kill Meg AND the human Meg thanked him for letting her die human, but Dean is not seeing that difference and Sam is not going to point it out). For Sam and John, not for Revenge, Dean is willing to break his own ethos. And this is important to point out, because it will be the main conflict and drive of the series from here on: There’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING Dean won’t do for those he considers family. And as he says himself? It scares him because of what it says about him.

And while I have said before that I know that the writers had absolutely no plan for Dean besides “Sam’s Sidekick” at this point of the series? I can absolutely believe that this scene was the seed to the “Righteous Man” arc, because Dean, in the end, can’t forgive himself for killing an innocent, not even for the Greater Good (just as he can’t stand the idea of someone dying for him, as we learned in Faith)

John comes in, and well, let’s rip this bandaid right away. As he tells a VERY uncomfortable Dean that he’s proud of him for saving them, there are signs that the demon is close. Noticing this, both brothers default to John’s orders who immediately gets Sam out of the room, ordering him to check that he salted all doors and windows, and once Sam is away, asks Dean for the Colt.

Dean, after a small hesitation, lifts the gun and points it at John, because he knows that it’s not his father the one who’s at the wheel.

Sam comes in, and while he doubts Dean’s claim that John is possessed –mostly because Dean’s only reasoning at this point is “He’s different” –he comes to Dean’s side. Unfortunately, as John dares Dean to kill him, he also realizes that the jig is up, so he stops pretending, and shows his yellow eyes in all their glory, pining both Sam and Dean to the wall.

This makes Dean drop the Colt, so the demon picks it up.

Azazael (because let’s be honest, we all know his name so why keep calling him John or Yellow Eyes?) taunts Sam when Sam tells him he’s going to kill him, and puts the Colt down, daring Sam to make it “fly to him”. Meanwhile, he puts all his attention to Dean, because he wanted to kill him specifically using John’s body as revenge for exorcising Meg and killing the other demon, because they were his son and daughter.

I make a note here to point out this is the very last time we hear about demons having families, and the fact that Meg is still alive doesn't even register in Azazael’s future episodes. Same as the idea that demons could NOT possess humans, and the series mythology is already a mess.

Sam asks why, and Azazael points out he killed Jess and Mary because they were “getting in the way” of his plans for “children like him”. Dean interrupts to call the attention of Azazael into him again, and manages to turn the tables emotionally a bit, when he reminds the demon that he killed his kids.

Which is when Azazael starts using his powers to make Dean bleed, and Dean begins yelling for John to fight the demon and save his life.

And it WORKS, which I will not tally officially, but I should mention it’s the first of many times when Dean’s voice in pain makes someone get the strength they need to fight a possession.

John manages to fight Azazael’s for control long enough to free Sam, who shoots Azazael on the knee, which disrupts Azazael’s powers long enough to get Dean free. Then John begs Sam to kill him, as he can still feel Azazael inside, but just as Sam gets ready to do so, to “put an end to everything”, Dean begs Sam not to do it. And for once, Sam listens to Dean and lowers the gun, giving Azazael a chance to escape, leaving a very angry John behind.

As the only member of the family not currently bleeding from new holes, we end the episode with Sam driving the Impala, John in shotgun and Dean, half unconscious, in the back. Sam is asking Dean to resist, as the hospital is ten minutes away (despite they being “in the middle of nowhere” five seconds ago), while John is complaining that Sam didn’t kill him, because “Killing this demon comes first” while Sam, who ended last episode saying the exact same thing, repeats what Dean managed to get into his head “No, sir. Not before everything.”

However, we don’t get to breathe easily, as a eighteen wheeler slams the Impala at full speed, and we end the episode looking at the possessed driver and the bloody, unconscious bodies of the Winchester.

How’s THAT for a season finale?

Violence

Despite everything that happened in the episode, that was a lot, there’s no inter-brother violence here, and no violence from John towards his sons (Azazael is a different story). Given how heavy the episode feels? I am counting this as a nice win.

Emotional Violence

I will admit, this is one of the episodes I was dreading because I knew it was going to be painful. It was going to be painful revisiting it after season 11’s premiere, and now that the series is over? It’s heartbreaking. And it all comes to one single phrase by Dean:

He wouldn’t be proud of me, he’d tear me a new one.

But let’s start at the beginning of said scene. I mentioned before that when “John” praises Dean, Dean looks visibly uncomfortable.

John: It shouldn’t. You did good.

Dean: You’re not mad?

John: For what?

Dean: Using a bullet.

Dean swallows before asking if John is not mad, and John looks honestly confused as to why Dean would think he’d be mad. It starts like a perfect moment to mend the issues, especially as John continues with what may be the nicest thing anyone said to Dean in the whole season:

John: Mad? I’m proud of you. You know, Sam and I, we can get pretty obsessed. But you – you watch out for this family. You always have.

 Something that later will get repeated by many characters, the narrative itself, and will become Dean’s most defining trait. But at the moment, Dean only looks even more uncomfortable, and just mumbles a pained thanks.

And while WE don’t know it yet, that’s the exact moment in which Dean knows he’s not talking to John. And upon rewatch, it’s noticeable that Dean is not swallowing, but that his jaw tightens. He knows he and Sam are in danger, that he needs to save his father, and that he needs to play along.

But I am not analyzing this on the normal summary because it’s also a very difficult moment for Dean, because for the first time in the series, someone is weaponizing his love for his family against him, and Dean CAN’T react as he usually does. He shows growth here, by biding his time.

Dean: Dad, Sam tried to shoot the demon in Salvation. It disappeared.

John: This is me. I won’t miss. Now, the gun, hurry… Son, please.

 This is the breaking point. Before, when it was just John saying that he was proud of him, Dean was just uncomfortable. But the SECOND John says “please” instead of ordering Dean to hand over the Colt? That’s when Dean steps back and gets in a defensive position. And once again, without lines, we get ton of implied things.

Like, probably Dean was hoping he was wrong, that John would really be proud of him for saving Sam. That if John wasn’t possessed when they found him, the demon had gotten in him when Dean left him alone to save Sam (we later know that’s not true, it’s just that Azazael is such a sparkly magical demon he can resist holy water). That John would never, in a thousand years, ask Dean nicely for something.

And so, he raises the gun and voices his suspicions and seals the fact that John Winchester was a terrible father:

Dean: He’d be furious.

John: What?

Dean: That I wasted a bullet. He wouldn’t be proud of me, he’d tear me a new one. You’re not my Dad.

Sam arrives, and hesitates a second before siding with Dean, whose eyes are brimming with tears as he keeps the Colt pointed at John’s body. Which is when Azazael twists the knife a little bit more into Dean’s heart:

John: Fine. You’re both so sure, go ahead. Kill me.

Which Dean, of course, can’t do.

Later on, during the torture as Azazael is slowly killing Dean with horrible scratches in his chest that can’t but remind me of the hellhounds from the future seasons (Despite knowing it wasn’t planned), Azazael delivers yet another horrible line that will define Dean’s story arc for the next 15 seasons.

John: You know, you fight and you fight for this family, but the truth is they don’t need you. Not like you need them. Sam – he’s clearly John’s favorite. Even when they fight, it’s more concern than he’s ever shown you.

Which is a half truth, as demons lie. Fact is, without Dean? Sam would’ve killed John. Or gotten himself killed long before this moment. And we know that Dean hunted more or less alone for four years, and, in hindsight and thanks to future episodes, that Dean flourished without John and Sam around (unless he believed Sam was dead, but that’s a different situation that will be addressed in season 6). But yeah, Sam is John’s favorite, and John has shown more concern, even in these episodes, than for Dean.

And while we will speak more of this in the next season, for now, it only ends with the fact that the biggest hurt that Dean got in the whole episode was that no-one contradicted Azazael at all. John, in particular, may have been able to fight Azazael upon hearing how Dean was suffering, but after that he never once said anything about Dean’s well being.

Speeches and Apologies

There are no big speeches here to analyze, except for Dean’s realization that he will do anything for his family. But as I already went on an on about that, we can consider this section vacant for the episode.

Double narrative standards

It’s very interesting to note how the brothers, and thus, the writers, used to deal with demons back then. The fact that Dean killed one (and exorcised another, even when that only meant she got expelled from the body she was occupying and sent back to hell, even if Azazael acts as if she had been killed) is seen by Dean and the narrative as a crime: He killed an innocent, even if said innocent at the time was being an instrument to harm Sam. The fact that Sam has, many times before, acted as if bystanders were acceptable losses is never once mentioned, and thus, the narrative seems to want us to believe that the only Winchester directly with blood in his hands is Dean –because even when John begs Sam to “shoot him in the heart”, Sam doesn’t. Never mind that Sam doesn’t because at the same time, Dean is begging him not to shoot, while Dean didn’t need said reassurance to being unable to shot John previously AND judging himself for exorcising Meg.

Final Tally

This was the last episode of the season, and oh, boy, the numbers are quite surprising to be completely honest. While you can check the actual numbers below, I want to point out that Dean didn’t lie to Sam or anyone else for that matter in the whole season, nor tried to manipulate or force Sam into doing things at all. He made fun in a mean way Six times in total, versus 31 different occasions in which Sam demeaned and made fun of Dean’s habits or stuff. Six versus 31, that gives us a difference of 25, which is quite the lead for “the empathic” brother.

Most telling, despite the idea that Dean “always” was controlling and overbearing, we have 7 different occasions in which Dean respects Sam’s boundaries, against 14 times when Sam doesn’t respect Dean’s. In the same vein, we have 5 different occasions in which Sam blamed Dean for something Dean didn’t do, while Dean has not blamed Sam for anything Sam didn’t do.

Finally, for all the talk of the series being “about two brothers” in the beginning, we have that the season is divided in 7 arc episodes dedicated solely to Sam, 6 filler episodes dedicated to Sam and his needs and backstory, NO arc episodes dedicated to Dean, 4 filler episodes dedicated to Dean, and 3 arc episodes dedicated to both brothers (Or none, meaning that it’s about just advancing the plot). Also, there were 2 plotlines about Sam introduced that were later discarded and never mentioned, versus 1 about Dean, which in general proves that, at least as far as Season 1 goes? Dean was not treated as a main character at all, as the majority of the Season was ALL about SAM.

Let’s see how this continues in Season 2.

Numbers (or the TL;DR summary)

(Episode/Total so far)

Times Dean has lied to Sam or to a loved one: 0 / 0

Times Sam has lied to Dean or to a loved one: 0 / 3

Times Dean has been caught in a lie: 0 / 0

Times Sam has been caught in a lie: 0 / 1

Times Dean has hit Sam in anger: 0 / 1

Times Sam has hit Dean in anger: 0 / 4

Times Dean's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 0

Times Sam's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 1

Times Dean has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 0

Times Sam has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 7

Times Dean forced Sam to do something: 0 / 0

Times Sam forced Dean to do something: 0 / 7

Secrets kept by Dean: 0 / 1

Secrets kept by Sam: 0 / 2

Times Dean has blamed Sam for something: 0 / 0

Times Sam has blamed Dean for something: 1 / 5

Times Dean has apologized with words to Sam: 0 / 3

Times Sam has apologized with words to Dean: 0 / 2

Times Dean has respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 7

Times Sam has respected Dean's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Dean hasn't respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Sam hasn't respected Dean's boundaries and / or rules: 1 / 14

Times Dean has made fun of something Sam does or has: 0 / 6

Times Sam has made fun of something Dean does or has: 0 / 31

Times we focus on Dean's needs: 0 / 1

Times we focus on Sam's needs: 0 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Sam: 0 / 7

Filler episodes dedicated to Sam: 0 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 0

Filler episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 4

Arc episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 1 / 3

Filler episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2

Dean's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 1

Sam's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 2

Mythology Dropped Plot points: 1/1

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Kakashi & Da Boyz: Lab Updates

Introduction

Approximately two years ago, I wrote this pairing lab report which compared Kakashi’s manga interactions with his top five AO3 pairings (excluding sensei/student and original character pairings). Since the numbers have shifted a lot for AO3, here’s what they look like in 2020. 

Materials

2018 Lab Report Data

A vague understanding of how math works 

A slowly dwindling grip on my own life

Methods 

See prior work for methods on manga interaction count as published in Keepyourpantsongohan, 2018. 

It is worth nothing in this section why AO3 was chosen rather than FF.net or any other fanfiction website as a point of comparison: AO3 has the ability to filter character relationships by romantic pairings. While FF.net has developed this filter in recent years, its history and use is much more sporadic and would be unlikely to produce a representative sample. 

Data

See prior work for raw data of manga interactions as published in Keepyourpantsongohan, 2018. Only total interactions are included as a comparison point. 

Total Interactions with Kakashi 

Iruka: 4

Obito: 37

*Obito’s interactions with Kakashi under an assumed identity as Tobi: 11

*Total (if including Tobi): 48

Gai: 50

Yamato: 29

Itachi: 6

Total Number of Interactions for Any Pairings Listed Above: 126

*Total: If including Tobi: 137

AO3 Pairing Story Count (as of 08-June-2020)

Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka: 3,453

Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito: 1,808

Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai: 888

Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou: 669

Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Itachi: 151

Total Number of AO3 Stories for Any Pairings Listed Above: 6,969

Analysis 

Figure 1: All Pairing Interactions by Percentage (exc. Tobi) 

Figure 1 Numbers:

Iruka: 3.2%

Obito: 29.3%

Gai: 39.7%

Yamato: 23.0%

Itachi: 4.8%

Figure 2: All Pairing Interactions by Percentage (inc. Tobi)

Figure 2 Numbers:

Iruka: 2.9%

Obito: 35.0%

Gai: 36.5%

Yamato: 21.2%

Itachi: 4.4%

Figure 3: AO3 Pairing Stories by Percentage (as of 08-June-2020)

(Note: Figures 2 and 3 marginally exceed 100% in order to both round and maintain the same degree of accuracy as the previous chart. For Figure 3, all figures will be rounded down to control the excess of 100%.)

Figure 3 Numbers:

Iruka: 49.5% = ~49.0%

Obito: 29.5% = ~29.0%

Gai: 12.7% = ~12.0%

Yamato: 9.6% = ~9.0%

Itachi: 2.2% = ~2.0%

Percentage Difference from Manga Interactions (Fig. 1 Numbers) to AO3 (Fig. 3 Numbers raw data)

Iruka: +46.3%

Obito: +0.2% (or Fig. 2 inc. Tobi: -5.5%)

Gai: -27.0%

Yamato: -13.6%

Itachi: 2.6%

Figure 4: Annual Rate of Growth in Fics from Aug 2018 to June 2020

Overall Increase in Fics on AO3 Since 2018 (Npast - Npresent)

Iruka: 3,453 - 2,298 = 1,155

Obito: 1,808 -  667 = 1,141

Gai: 888 - 391 = 497

Yamato: 669 - 371 = 298

Itachi: 151 - 111 = 40

Annual Rate of Growth (((Npresent - Npast) / Npast x 100) / Number of years) 

Iruka: ((1,155) / 2,298 x 100) / 2 years = 25.1%

Obito: ((1,141) / 667 x 100) / 2 years = 85.5% 

Gai: ((497) / 391 x 100) / 2 years = 63.5%

Yamato: ((298) / 371 x 100) / 2 years = 40.1%

Itachi: ((40) / 111 x 100) / 2 years = 18.0%

Conclusion

As compared to the 2018 analysis, Iruka, Obito and Gai all got closer to proportionally matching up with their manga interactions, though this is most significant for Obito, who is nearly on par with his manga interaction percentages. In other words, Obito is almost exactly as popular as you might expect him to be based on number of chapter appearances interacting with Kakashi. The annual rate of growth for Obito (85.5%) is also by far the highest. I would be curious to know what factors made this increase so high. 

Iruka, like in 2018, is most prevalent as a pairing, and furthest from manga parity (in the positive direction). It is worth noting that the pairing no longer represents the majority in Kakashi’s top five pairings, going from representing 56.7% of fics, to 49.5% of fics. This seems to be a consequence of the rate of growth, because while there were the largest number of fics for Iruka in the past two years (1,155), there was also the second lowest annual growth rate at 25.1%. Even so, the raw numbers do speak to the popularity!

Gai has moved slightly closer to manga parity, with a 2.5% increase in representation. However, the pairing still experiences the largest percentage decrease in presence from manga to AO3. Still, the rate of growth for Gai is significant, being the second highest at 63.5%.

Yamato moved slightly farther away from manga parity, but only by a difference of 0.3%, which means the pairing has more less maintained the same level of popularity as two years ago. The rate of growth is middling, not anywhere near as high as Obito or Gai, but significantly higher than Iruka or Itachi. 

Itachi was as almost close to manga parity as possible in 2018, so the pairing will likely only get further away with more fics being written. But as there have been such a small amount written (20 per year) it would be a slow increase in discrepancy. 

Having acquainted myself with the commentary on the prior report, it might be theorized that “attractiveness” is a factor in popularity of character ships. However, this premise is flawed, because in my experience as a reader, the act of loving a character makes them handsome. See: The Once-ler phenomenon, as described by Ed Helms on Funny or Die (Fealasy 2012):

“I heard there are people who have a sexual predilection for my character in the Lorax [...] And that is very odd, because he’s not a real person. I do agree, however, that he’s extremely sexy. But I don’t condone sexual fantasy about the Once-ler. I don’t condone it.”

So in this case, we can assume attractiveness is a relative condition, superseded by the way that readers choose to love their characters. Personally, I think it’s very sexy of me to love Tenzo. All this to say, don’t worry about it. Who cares? I just made you read a quote about people wanting to have sex with the Once-ler. Think about that. 

The number of fics at the time of my making these charts was 6,969 though, so I think we’re all winners here. 

Limitations 

As I used the manga interaction counts from 2018, bias in my methodology then is still present here. 

In my original calculations, I actually had Obito at 35.8% instead of 35.0% for Figure 2, in a case of human error of inputting 49/137 instead of 48/137 in my calculations. This error has been noted and changed, but the potential for more human error is present in all of my calculations. 

I am aware of there being an event going on for Kakashi and Iruka as I write this, so it is possible that by the time this data is analyzed the number of AO3 fics will have increased. 

I will reiterate that I exclude sensei/student pairings (Sakura and Naruto being two of Kakashi’s top five pairings on AO3 in general; currently third and fourth respectively) because of my own discomfort and the fact I am making a comparison with their manga interactions, which take place when both students are 12-16 and Kakashi is 26-30. Minato would currently be the next highest after original characters, excluded for similar reasons. I also include Itachi with reluctance due to their age gap, but as he is at the very least 18 when returns to Konoha to speak to Kakashi, and he is the next highest in Kakashi pairings, he acts as the fifth pairing. So, in short: I am most certainly biased in what I included and excluded in my 2018 and 2020 data. 

Again, this analysis does not examine a number of variables, like the Naruto anime and ongoing sequel anime, other types of pairing content, etc. But it’s still very interesting to see the tide of fic on AO3. I would like to look at the anime specifically at some point, but this was already an incredible waste of time. 

Seriously, why would you read this? Why would I write this? Are we human, or are we dancer? We will never know. 

Literature Cited

Keepyourpantsongohan. (2018, Aug 19). Kakashi & Da Boyz: A Lab Report. Tumblr. https://keepyourpantsongohan.tumblr.com/post/177174079767/kakashi-da-boyz-a-lab-report

Fealasy. (2012, April 26). Once-ler. Know Your Meme. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/once-ler

[rametarin]

Little note hider. Or, alternative title: “Ante up for arguments.”

So a few days ago I made a post about the tactics I remember from my youth.

Actual disruption and propagandists that filled little girls’ heads with emotionally charged political shit and encouraged them to, “stawt convuhsayshuns uwu” to, “change society.” And we’re talking kids being emotionally blackmailed to accept many of these subjective things as truth.

Taught to argue with other children, the age where they weren’t even really clued in on how to read or argue with academic buffoonery or emotionally charged appeals to authority.

I remember quite well the interactions.

Babby Radfem: “Our society is racist.”

Me: “No it isn’t. Societies can’t be racist, only the people in them.”

Babby Radfem starts citing known examples of racism talking about slavery.

Me: “Yes I know you can talk about things that happened, that doesn’t mean society is racist, it means there are racists in it.”

Babby Radfem: “Proof? You have any proof? :^) Because I have proof of what I’m saying! So YOU have proof for what you’re saying?”

And you have to understand; these little socio-politically programmed children didn’t just waltz into a library and grab up some Feminist Book of Statistics. They were coached, they were groomed, they were armed with bogus academia huffandpuff and then set loose to go after kids who’d never even heard of these issues before.

In my case, I learned what the concept of rape was because a baby radical feminist informed me because I was a boy, and, “epidemic societal rape” was a thing, that she could never wholly trust me of be comfortable around me, because, “men in our society are so violent and rape women.” Not really an appropriate mindset for a girl under the age of 7. Or a boy, for that matter.

It’s at that point they’d put on this big performance with that smug, disgusting expression on their face, setting up a bunch of articles and examples of things that’d happened in the past and examples of singular racist assholes operating, conflating that deliberately with, “a racist society.” Because you know, if one member of the hivemind super colony acts bad, I guess to socialists that’s, “proof” that “society” didn’t do its job in programming them right, or something.

And it’s at this point that no matter what you say, they aren’t looking for a reasonable discussion where you respect one another’s positions and perspectives, they’re looking for a show trial, and they think they’re being clever by trying to make you defend the actions of actual racists, since in their minds, you’re denying their actions ever happened.

No matter what you say, like broken interfaces, they’ll just sit there smugly reminding you, “you aren’t proving society isn’t racist yet! Do you even have an argument? Do you have proof? Any actual PROOF, not emotionally charged denials? Still not seeing any proof of what you’re saying. Guess you don’t have an argument. I’m sorry, I don’t accept crybabying nuh-uhs, I’m a rational person with a scientific mind :^)”

I say again, this shit, these big blowhard guns, were brought out and used on me. I was fucking 5, at the time. It’s not like I was going to stand up, shout, “Foucult was a boy toucher and a monster!” and show the 10 page report with bibliographed citations. You can’t spur of the moment refute someone handed a book wwwwaay about their age range just to tell you bogus statistics like women only make 50-75% of what a white man makes, “for the same job,” that demands you also spur of the moment disprove what they’re saying in order to dispute or disregard it at all.

Then plays to the peers around you like your outrage over the things you’re being accused of by proxy of being a boy, is just because you don’t like, “hearing the truth.”

And you know what this behavior influenced? Yeah. Annoying Youtube Atheists of the 00s. I’m an atheist, but the difference between me and An Annoying Youtube Atheist, is I don’t make not participating in an organized religion or believing in supernatural creators. While the other considers themselves an intellectual for arguing with probably the easiest arguments to disprove and discredit you can possibly engage.

So when I talk about shit like this that I witnessed and observed happening in the fucking late 80s, early 90s, of course I’m not going to have “proof.” Who the hell happens to have examples of such a random a sporadic thing in the wild? The odds are literally a million times better now than they were when our communication and interactions were in person, without internet, with only access to the information resources in the books you had in your local library or in your house.

The, 1.) Inflammatory Statement 2.) Whipping out a book that may as well have been written by Jordan Peterson or Ben Shapiro for all the bias it has 3.) “Here’s my proof. You have proof? Any proof to source your beliefs, or do you just have feefees? :^)” approach, predates on people being both unfamiliar with the subject matter, as well as not having the resources to effectively dispute the claims.

It’s predatory, it’s deceptive, and it is used to socially browbeat women into their corners, whom them become like enablers and believers and supports in the pew after their cryfests, powwows and ‘come to socialist Jesus’ moment.

But no, I don’t currently possess any proof of this phenomenon or effect, and the mercurial social nature of young girls means catching this interaction in the wild is very unlikely. Which is exactly why that disingenuous request for, “Proof? :^)” is so disgusting.

Even when you HAD proof, the next step after isn’t to concede they’re wrong. It usually went in a number of ways.

1.) The person requesting proof goes dead inside and ignores what you’re saying, and if they respond at all, it’s simply to speak as if you hadn’t just shown them the proof, still arguing as if it wasn’t shown. I guess in a silly attempt to socially override the new information from the discussion and give the speaker the burden of proof to try and make it stick to their denial filled, teflon minds.

2.) They meet all the effort taken to argue with stupid shit that wastes your time and energy. Replying to a thorough rebuttal that rebukes and dismantles the things they are saying with, “KUNG POW PENIS, *GIGGLE*” or just going “DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!” and giggling to show they don’t actually care what you have to say and won’t take you seriously. This one is done alone or only when they have other supporters there that won’t accept opposition as legit or genuine, proof or not.

3.) They’ll simply retreat and then scream if you follow them. If they retreat, the conversation effectively ends, and they won’t hear any more of it since it threatens to challenge them, OR they simply wanted to convince people to take what they have to say as fact and it’s a waste of their time to sell lies to people that know they’re lies. But they will scream and make the priority that you’re apparently following or harassing them, when they see argument is futile.

4.) They’ll nod along and pretend you’ve corrected them when you demonstrate you aren’t going to believe what they say, because you have both proof and conviction that their argument is weak, they don’t have a leg to stand on, or you throw in their face you know what they are. But, they won’t retract their stance, they’ll simply go on to, “stawt that convuhsayshun” with someone else, to try and convince them of their politically charged talking point.

5.) They’ll start crying or looking like a kid with their hands caught in a cookie jar, and admit, “I was just twying to stawt a... convuhsayshun..” Which is code that means, “I was trying to propagandize and make you think this thing was true, and make you mad about it as if it was the truth.” This typically happened when I called them out in front of adults that also didn’t agree with the things she was saying, had been programmed to say, and was around adults that could cite proof that what they were saying was false.

It happened so often I realized that at some point it might be in my best interests, to at least THINK about how to prove arguments to random strangers.

In the past, being sidewound by baby radical feminists that, “just started conversations” around the water cooler, axes to grind disguised as random conversations, was a thing. They were like social guerillas or velociraptors. But they were always tangentially rooted in whatever thing they’d been handed to read in order to sound smart.

So, if you knew the contemporary radical feminist talking points, had the time, literacy and resources to research and understand the holes in their claims, where they substituted for integrity, you could unravel them. Or could critique things like sample size or the likelihood they arrived at their conclusion and worked backwards to meet the result they were looking for, or started with a faulty premise.

And when they tried to stretch and flex and get believers and followers, presenting these, “facts” (that were not facts, but lies, subjective talking points, or just feelings) trying to use the trust bonds of friendship to get people to accept them as true for risk of hurting the relationship and their friend’s feelings (an exploitation of people, by the way) you could dispute them.

But they really do not like that, and once you reveal yourself as someone capable of shooting holes in what they say, they’ll only bring out their talking points to your mutual friends when you, ye that has identified yourself as capable of disputing what they say, aren’t around to dispute them.

Pre-internet, pre-cell phone, this was the methodology by which radical feminist zealotry was reproduced among young girls and young women. And drove them absolutely fucking nuts for a few years, until they resolved it and came back to reality. For one reason or another.

But do I have proof of this? Not on hand.

[alt-loser]

before you dismiss aphobia, maybe consider that:

most of us have grown up in a heteronormative education system that has told us that not feeling sexual attraction is abnormal, or even a straight up mental illness (just to be clear, it is not). even the most progressive curriculums won’t include us, and that makes it harder for us to discover and accept our acespec identities.

we have the second highest rate of sexual assault compared to the other members of the lgbt community.

some countries won’t recognize marriages as legitimate until you consummate them, and in many others, including the us, refusal to have sex is a valid reason to get a marriage annulled, so imagine being an ace who doesn’t have sex.

studies show that landlords are just as likely to kick out ace tenants as they are gay ones. now, obviously it’s easier to just not be out to your landlord if you’re ace, but no one should have to be closeted so they don’t lose their home.

aces who grow up in religious environments aren’t accepted by their churches most of the time. even if it seems like religious communities prefer chastity, they want you to have sex eventually, and since asexual people don’t tend to do that, they’re outcasted for their sexuality.

the russian government classified asexuality as a mental illness, so now russian asexuals aren’t able to get drivers licenses which i know is oddly specific but it’s also fucking insane and such blatant aphobia that i had to share it

we aren’t ever included in media. ever. we get no representation. actually, i’ll bet that out of all the lgbtq identities, we get the least amount of recognition. seriously, think about it, because i can’t name a single asexual character except for todd chavez from bojack horseman and the one episode of house where he “cured” an ace couple. like c’mon, that’s ridiculous.

many ace people can tell you stories of doctors trying to “cure” them of their asexuality by trying to convince them of sexual assaults that never happened, telling aces with chronic pain that that’s the reason why they’re ace, or giving them hormones that they don’t need. there’s so much bias against us in the medical field and we shouldn’t have to waste our time, or money anymore.

the lack of representation doesn’t help, because there’s so many misconceptions about asexuality, and almost all of them hurt us. no one understands us, and tbh i’m sick of being called a plant, or emotionless, or incapable of love.

half of the lgbtq community fucking hates us. there’s so much unnecessary vitriol towards us that i honestly don’t like telling other queer people that i’m asexual because then we need to talk about discourse for two hours and i get talked over. even if you don’t think we’re lgbt (you would be wrong though), you don’t need to hate us or make fun of us. there’s no reason for us to be your laughing stock.

when we do speak up about what we experience, we either get a “who cares” or confused aphobia from straight people, or just a “aces aren’t lgbt lol” from other lgbtq people who don’t care, and don’t want to listen to us.

allo people want to speak on acespec identities and issues when they don’t understand them at all, haven’t consulted with any of us, haven’t done research, and don’t bother to listen to us when we explain them. the best part is that most of the time, their voices drown out ours when these issues come up. wonderful. when people want to talk about trans issues for example, normally they educate themselves first and talk to actual trans people first (this is definitely not everyone though), but we don’t get the same respect.

and that’s a small sample of half of what we go through. even if you don’t think we’re lgbt or whatever (i’m prepared for the enevitable argument over this that will break out in the comments of the post), respect us, listen to us, don’t talk over us, and educate yourself! i’m sick of all the arguments and hate and misunderstanding. we already have so much stacked up against us, so at least give us your respect.