#seriously tumblr is the only place i can talk about musical theatre the way no one around me talks about musical theatre | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

iamfuckingsorry · 9 months ago

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I've been thinking about my old art club teacher recently.

This is something I never really thought about back then, but I think she influenced my life more than I realized.

For context, I went to this art club thingie from grade 2 to grade 11, and would have continued if I hadn't moved abroad at that point. It was like 3-4 hours a week at the local art/music school - in my country you don't have clubs/extracurriculars at school but instead there's another "school" kind of thing where you can go do extracurriculars after school, or independent sports clubs for kids run by sports organisations. The non-sports ones are subsidised and cheap af and it's where you go to learn to play an instrument, sing, do art, improv/theatre, dance etc - basically learn skills that can in some way be tied to "culture" or w/e. So I went to this club/class/whatever thingy because I enjoyed drawing when I was 6-7 and then kept going cause why not.

And my teacher was just like... the most chill person ever. She was really good with kids, treated everyone like a tiny human with a personality instead of like someone who had to listen to her (which is what my actual schoolteachers did). Would have casual conversations about her life and the TV shows she was watching and shit with us even when we were like 8. There was this one kid that was a couple of years older than me who was writing theatre pieces and short stories and she'd discuss them with him and give concrit and brainstorm with him and give suggestions on what to do and who to talk to if he wanted to get into writing/theatre more seriously (she had a second job doing backstage stuff at the local theatre). I didn't really learn any art skills except for what you learn by being forced to draw for a couple of hours every week, but god this club was the only place where I could really be myself. Three to four hours a week, I could be as weird as I wanted to be and no one cared. I'm not sure I'd say I looked forward to it per ce - I didn't really look forward to anything at that point in my life and I'm sure I skipped some weeks just to lie in my bed instead - but it was just... nice, y'know?

And in hindsight it was obvious she was a bit lost in life, just trying to do what she liked doing. She was fat and single and not planning on having kids and lowkey broke. She wanted to go to an art high school as a kid and wasn't allowed to, so after she graduated she applied again and did the 4 extra years required to get this art high school diploma. She worked like 15-20 hours at the art school and then another maybe 15-20 and then she sold art and crafts stuff at markets and stuff sometimes to make ends meet. She dyed her hair bright red and orange sometimes back when unnatural colours were still really unusual and sometimes wore clothes bordering on what you'd see at a ren faire. I think she must have been in her late 20s when I started and close to 40 when I left, but she'll forever be 37 in my mind for some reason.

And looking back knowing what I know now, I am so sure she was a fandom person. She was into House MD and X-files and LOTR and Stargate and NCIS, and would have hour-long convos about the shows with some of the kids. She was very into Sean Bean to the point her sister got her a life-size Boromir cutout and also into Jeremy Renner, though I can't remember any specific shows with him in that she liked (it wasn't the Avengers stuff - maybe MI?). I remember her going to the capital for a movie premiere once or twice, and travelling abroad to see her favourite actors from time to time. I'm pretty sure she talked about something that I can now identify as writing fanfiction at some point.

And I was very into fandom myself by the end too, I was going to cons and shit, roleplaying with my online friends, hanging out here on tumblr and shit. I had a friend in the club who was into Supernatural just like I was, and sometimes we'd spend half of the club talking about SPN, reading the new episode summary together every week waiting for the episode to come out, discussing, me talking about fanfic sometimes (something that my friend was /not/ into). I wonder what she thought about that lol.

Anyway.

My point it just... I never knew another adult who was into the same stuff as me as a kid growing up. Like sure, my mom was a massive sci-fi and fantasy fan, but not in a fandom way, and she didn't really enjoy discussing things. And I never knew another adult who genuinely didn't seem to care what other people thought about them, in a good way - she was fat and kinda weird and broke and she fucking rocked it, at one point she got a phone call from a friend who needed to talk about a Stargate episode and she fucking answered and talked to the friend for like 15 minutes. And I never knew another adult who chose to do what they wanted to do instead of doing what was expected of them - getting an education, getting a good job, maybe settling down and having kids. This lady was just like, nah fuck that, I'm gonna go to the goddamn art high school even if I'm gonna be like 24 by the time I graduate, and I'm gonna get this horribly underpaid part-time job at a theatre because I like theatre and the people who work there, and I'm gonna spend half my day talking about this TV show I really like. And she had so many stories about people (especially teachers at the art school) being unfair or shitty and her standing up for herself and not taking their shit.

And I never had a role model growing up, but slowly approaching my 30s and looking back... I think maybe I did. And I wonder what she's up to now (still teaching at that art school and working at the theatre, I could google that much), and I wonder if the fact that she was doing okay meant that I will do okay too.

And I hope we keep fostering places where little lost kids like me can meet cool weird adults who were exactly where you are now 20 years ago and who made it through and are living their best lives now.

#i should be writing a thesis instead of random shit on tumblr lol #but i have Feelings about this okay #sigh #herr's personal tag

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mamabearcatfanfics · 4 years ago

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A little Christmas Elf told me there was a delay on @lavendertwilight89‘s IYBC Secret Santa gift, so I decided to write just a little something. She already has the whole fic, but I’ll be releasing it here on tumblr in two parts. Just a little something soft and sweet, partially inspired by something that happened between myself and my husband when we were only just together and still working each other out, and also by one of her chosen prompts. So, without further ado, here’s Part One of Song and Dance Man.

Or read the entire story on AO3

🎵

Inuyasha walked out of his small kitchen, carrying a large mug of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and a plate of chocolate chip cookies on a tray. He put it down on the coffee table in front of his girlfriend, stooping to drop a kiss on the top of her head, then snorted as she tried to nudge him aside so she could see the show she was currently watching. He didn’t know which one it was – they all seemed to blend into one another, and he did his best to block out the singing. Why was there always singing?

“Another one?” he teased, blocking her view even more. “You mean you haven’t watched every single musical on Netflix already? What’s this one called?”

“Singing in the Rain”, Kagome said testily. “And it doesn’t matter how many times I watch them, they make me feel better”, she said, trying to lean sideways. “C’mon, Inuyasha, move!”

Finally relenting at the pouting face looking up at him, he moved out of the way.

“Alright little storm cloud, you win.”

Kagome huffed at him, and he chuckled at her as he walked over to his desk, and picked up his headphones, grateful that the swelling crescendo of violins would soon be drowned out by the much more soothing sounds of screaming and gunfire from his paused game. He glanced back over to the TV as he sat down in front of his monitor.

“That guy looks constipated”, he commented. “How do you even watch this tripe?”

Kagome turned to glare at him over the back of the sofa, a cushion hugged to her stomach to help keep the hot water bottle in place.

“This is not tripe, and Don isn’t constipated!” she hissed. “He’s feeling! He’s in love with Kathy, but he has to act like he’s in love with Lina on screen”.

“That doesn’t mean he needs to torture me by singing and dancing about it”, Inuyasha muttered. “How are you meant to take any of this seriously, when they suddenly just burst into song about their innermost feelings? It’s utterly ridiculous. I don’t get how you can love musicals so much.”

“Is that what you really think?” she said quietly, the tone of her voice sounding brittle in comparison to the cheerful music playing in the background.

Inuyasha lowered his headphones, ears suddenly twitching with trepidation. He wasn’t always the best at reading a room, but he could definitely feel the tension in this one.

Their relationship was only new, but already Kagome seemed like a permanent fixture in his life. She was bubbly and kind, her tiny frame usually draped in the brightest coloured clothing she could find, and she always seemed to be singing or laughing. She reminded him sometimes of a sweet little canary, his own bright eyed and inquisitive songbird, with her happy go lucky mentality and readiness to try new things. She was everything he wasn’t.

They’d only met by chance, both of them stuck waiting in the Emergency Room at the local hospital, him waiting for his friend Miroku to get patched up after coming off his bike, and her waiting to get her wrist x-rayed after an accident with a set at the theatre where she worked. They’d chatted, or rather Kagome had, and he’d watched her, somehow mesmerised by this tiny human that was unruffled by his obviously hanyou features.

When Sango had appeared to pick up her bruised and scraped boyfriend, he’d decided to stay with Kagome, not liking the idea of leaving her there to wait all alone. Eventually she’d been x-rayed, poked and prodded, with Inuyasha tagging along at her request, finally triumphantly emerging from the hospital with her wrist strapped for a sprain. By then, the idea of her travelling home alone on public transport in the dark was abhorrent to him, so he’d driven her home. Somehow, she’d managed to get his number from him, and added herself into the paltry number of contacts on his phone.

When she’d texted a few days later to invite him out for a drink to say thank you, to his own surprise he’d eagerly accepted, and before he’d known it, they were inseparable. Early morning texts and late night phone conversations progressed to in person talks and late night kisses, until one night instead of accepting his reluctant good night, she’d launched herself at him and asked him to stay and take her to bed.

He’d hardly been able to look Kagome’s flatmate Shiori in the eye the next morning at breakfast, because they hadn’t exactly been discreet with the noise levels, with Kagome delighted to discover that youkai stamina extended to the bedroom. Shiori had teasingly remarked that his second task as Kagome’s boyfriend should be to buy her flatmate some decent earplugs. Kagome had found it hilarious, him, not so much.

Kagome now had two drawers in his dresser for clothes, a makeup bag and toothbrush in his bathroom, and an extra hook on the back of his door for her jacket. She hardly ever slept at her apartment now, only going back to do washing and visit Shiori.

It still shook him that Kagome actually cared for him, showed an interest in what he did. And the sex. They were starting to ease off a little now, but for the first few weeks, they were at it like rabbits, christening every room in his apartment, nearly every flat surface, and even some of the vertical ones. The sex was fucking amazing; she was so passionate, so eager, so utterly beautiful. It was like going from starvation rations to an all you could eat buffet, and he took full advantage of their mutual eagerness to explore each other’s bodies. He didn’t think he’d ever get enough of her.

But their relationship wasn’t just built just on that. They laughed with each other, teased each other, helped each other. He hardly knew the person he was becoming since he’d met Kagome, but the change was…good.

Even though it was early in the relationship, she’d already told him she loved him. At three months, this was the longest time he’d ever been with anyone and even though he was pretty sure he loved her too, he wasn’t quite comfortable saying that to her out loud yet. She understood. At least he’d done his best to try and show her how he felt, and she seemed happy with that. Miroku and Sango loved her too, and she’d slotted into their lives like she’d always been there. He’d never felt so happy.

But right now, the look she was giving him was not a happy one. She seemed almost on the verge of tears. Kagome had warned him early on that she did get emotional just before her period and that some months were worse than others. He’d felt a little embarrassed by her candid remark, never having been in a relationship long enough for that kind of information to be shared. But so far everything had been okay.

Today hadn’t been great though. She had been out of sorts ever since she’d woken up this morning, feeling exhausted, achy and irritable, and he’d done his best to not take anything she said to heart and try and do little things to comfort her, knowing it wasn’t really her talking but her hormones. She’d smelt a little different, even though she wasn’t bleeding yet, but nothing concerning.

But right now, she was beginning to worry him – her heart rate was speeding up and her scent hinted at extreme agitation, similar to a fight or flight response. This was new. Should he remind her that she’d told him she got emotional just before her period and that she needed to calm down? Some deep seated sense of self-preservation made him realise that wasn’t a good idea.

“Kagome”, he said uncertainly, trying to work out what the safest approach was, not wanting to upset her even more. “Are you okay?”

“What if we’ve been fooling ourselves Inuyasha.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, look at us,” she said, gesturing from Inuyasha’s faded Soundgarden t-shirt and ripped black jeans to her heart patterned leggings and hot pink t-shirt which proudly proclaimed she was Fuelled by Theatre and Coffee. “We couldn’t be more different.”

“But”, spluttered Inuyasha, his heart suddenly beating faster at the dangerous direction the conversation was taking. “Different is good! Yes, we like different things, but that shouldn’t matter!” Kagome’s bottom lip quivered.

“It might not matter tomorrow, or next week, or the week after that, but sooner or later, it would. That’s what you said last night.” Her breathing was picking up now, ragged gasps with a scent of tears.

“What?!”

“You said it’s important to find someone who shares your goals and your interests and fits into your life.”

“Kagome, I was talking about my asshole brother, and how he and Kagura aren’t on the same page about having kids! I wasn’t talking about us!”

“You just said musicals are utterly ridiculous”, she burst out, standing suddenly and letting the cushion and hot water bottle fall to the floor with a sad flop. “And just in case you’ve forgotten Inuyasha, I am a stage manager for a theatre company. Which means by default that you think I’m ridiculous.” A fat tear rolled down her cheek, quickly followed by another, and her distress was the only thing stopping him from snarling that the only thing ridiculous was this conversation. This wasn’t like her at all, and he needed to keep calm.

“Hey, hey, c’mon, I never meant that”, said Inuyasha softly as he stood, trying his best to de-escalate the situation. “I know your job is important to you, and just how much you love it.” Kagome continued on as if she hadn’t heard him, her voice breaking as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“You’ve never once shown an interest in anything that I’ve done at work. Never come to any of the shows I’ve been involved in”, she sniffed, and Inuyasha’s heart sank, made heavy with sudden guilt.

That was true. Kagome had listened to him rant about his work as a software test analyst, had shown interest in the games he played when he relaxed, had even made a WOW character and tried going on a raid with him when it was clearly not her thing. But she’d thrown herself into it, just like everything else she did, laughing at herself when she made mistakes, just happy to spend time with him sharing something he loved. He hadn’t done anything like that for her, hadn’t even noticed. That needed to change.

Kagome began gathering her things in a haphazard fashion, stuffing them in her backpack.

“Baby, don’t”, he said, trying to reach out to hug her. “Don’t leave when you’re upset. I promise we’re going to be better – I’m going to get better. I’m still learning how to be good at this. Please?”

She dodged his outstretched arms. “Don’t baby me”, she hissed, her tone venomous. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re even trying to get to know me. Do you even care at all? Or are you just in this for the sex?”

Inuyasha looked stricken. “Kagome…” His arms dropped to his sides.

Her eyes widened at his broken expression, her hands shaking as she reached tentatively towards him, then pulled herself back.

“I... I can’t do this right now”, she sobbed, pushing herself away. “I’m going home!”

And then the door slammed, and Inuyasha was left standing in the middle of his apartment, the untouched plate of cookies, cooling hot chocolate and water bottle the only evidence that Kagome had been there.

A man danced happily on his TV in the background, splashing around in rain puddles like it was the best thing ever. He plonked himself down on his sofa and picked up the cushion that Kagome had been hugging only moments before, burying his nose in it.

“What the fuck?” he whispered into the pillow. “What the actual fuck?!”

He didn’t know how serious this was, but it felt bad. She’d only been gone for seconds and already his life felt emptier. He felt sick, like he was going to vomit. He needed to fix it and fast. Because there was no way that he was going to lose Kagome over something like this.

Part Two

#mamabearcat fanfics #inukag fanfic #song and dance man #inukag #IYBCSS #IYBC SecretSanta 2020

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

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Like a Million Dollar Bill (Jaida x Jan) - Joley

ao3 link

tumblr link

note: this is my submission for the black girl magic fic challenge so a note for that is the title is from the song ‘million dollar bill’ by whitney houston

“That finalizes everything, Mrs. Whitham, and again, I am so sorry for your loss.” The man from the probate court shook Jaida’s hand before she got up to leave.

Jaida did her best to maintain the miserable expression she had on through the funeral. She thought about the disdain she felt when the man used her married name, how desperate she was to regain her sense of individual identity. She was free, only if she played her cards right. But this was a long time coming, to say the least. “Thank you so much, sir.” She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief before leaving the room.

Sitting on a bench in the hallway was her younger sister, Heidi. She got up and took her hand. “You good?” she asked gently, coming off as nothing more than the concerned sibling of a grieving widow. But the look in her eyes reminded Jaida that she knew. She knew it all. Someone had to, lest the burden of keeping a secret became overwhelming and came out to the wrong person.

And Jaida continued to play her role, standing upright and swallowing thickly, because she was just struggling to stay strong. “I will be,” she said with a tremor in her voice.

“Who did he appoint as the…” Heidi furrowed her brows as she wracked her brain. “What’s the word again? For the person that’s gonna transfer his funds to you?”

“Executor,” she answered. “And it’s his sister, lord help me.” She sighed. Her deceased husband’s family had never been fond of her - due both to the twenty-year gap that existed in their relationship and outright racism. The only upside to that was no one outside the family took their complaints very seriously, but that didn’t mean she was at all happy to have to deal with her. “Anyway, I’m gonna go to Shea’s lounge tonight. She’s got a new singer, should be cute. You wanna come?”

Her sister shook her head. “Naw, I gotta get my ass up early to finish packing. Gonna take some time to move into that fancy-ass mansion.” She chuckled. It might not have been the best time to be visibly excited, but she was so thrilled to get herself and her dogs out of her one bedroom, seven hundred square-foot apartment.

“Suit yourself.” Jaida shrugged as she pulled her coat on. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

——

The lounge Shea owned was chic, calm, a place Jaida would probably still frequent if it wasn’t her best friend’s pride and joy. It was the type of place where she could dress up to go to, without feeling like she had to be on her best, most reserved behavior. And after all of the day’s events, she just wanted to relax, entering the club and making a beeline to her friend.

“Hey, I’m so glad you made it!” Shea beamed, hugging her tightly. “Just wait until you see our new act. She’s fresh out of university with a fancy musical theatre degree, and the bitch can sing. It’s fucking angelic, Jaida.” She didn’t mention Jaida’s husband’s death at that moment. While she didn’t know exactly what happened, she knew how miserable Jaida had been, how there hadn’t been any love between them in god knows how long. She knew how poorly he treated her and that his death probably wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

Jaida chuckled, walking with her to the bar while Shea ordered them a couple of drinks. “Damn, you really hyped her up, I’m gonna just take your word on it,” she assured, taking a sip of her drink when the bartender placed it beside her.

“Just come on, her set’s about to start,” Shea threw some money down on the counter and pulled Jaida along to one of the velvet couches so they could sit and watch.

Jan walked onto the stage, the spotlight framing her perfectly. She wore a strapless wine-red dress that just hit the ground and was tailored perfectly to her body, accentuating her curves while giving her an air of elegance one would expect from an upscale lounge singer. And her voice was as enchanting as Shea had talked it up to be and then some. There was no doubt that every patron of that lounge had their attention fixed solely on the stage.

“So, what do you think?” Shea asked once the first song had ended.

Jaida grinned, her gaze never breaking away from the singer. “I think I’m in love,” she retorted.

Her friend looked at her and let out a soft laugh. “What, are you following in your husband’s–may he rest in peace–footsteps? She’s twenty-two.”

“Bitch, I’m forty, not eighty. This is a new chapter in my life, who’s to say I can’t include a hot twenty-something in it?” Jaida scoffed.

Shea finished off her drink. “You know what? I respect that. I’ll introduce you two once she’s done,” she decided.

And true to her word, Shea took Jaida backstage once Jan’s set was over. “Wonderful job, darling,” she said as she walked in. “Jan, I’d like you to meet my dear friend, Jaida. We met when we were both in college, so, back when we were about your age.”

Jan looked at Jaida, tilting her head. “Well, how’s that possible when you’re clearly not a day over twenty-five?”

Shea rolled her eyes. “Oh lord, I’ll leave you guys to it,” she said and left the two of them alone.

Jaida chuckled. “Don’t you worry about her,” she said to Jan. “But anyway, you really were fantastic out there. That fancy college degree I keep hearing about did you well.”

Jan smiled, absentmindedly twirling her hair around her finger. “Why thank you. With all the debt it plunged me into, it better.”

The older woman clicked her tongue sympathetically. “Shit, how far in the hole are you?”

“About thirty grand.”

Jaida glanced around, then sat down beside Jan. “Listen, don’t go telling nobody, but I got you. I’m a couple days away from coming into a lot of money, like, well into seven figures.” She didn’t give a specific number because she wasn’t entirely sure how it all worked, but she could hire someone to explain it to her.

Jan’s eyes went wide and her jaw hung open. “A-Are you sure? I mean, thank you, that’s so kind. But if you don’t mind me asking… How’d you come into that kind of money?”

“Inheritance,” she replied, biting back a smirk.

“That’s just… incredible. If there’s anything I can do to thank you…”

Jaida waved her hand, brushing the suggestion off. “You don’t have to do anything. But I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to let me buy you a drink when you’re done for the night.”

Jan fluttered her eyelashes and shifted closer to her. “Of course, I was hoping this might be a little more than a random philanthropic act.”

This brought a feeling of relief to Jaida, the last thing she wanted was for Jan to feel obligated to express romantic or sexual interest in her. “I’ll see you on the other side, then,” she hummed as she got up and returned to the lounge, ready to watch Jan on stage for the rest of her shift. The only time her gaze broke was to text her driver to be on his way.

And once it ended, the two of them reconvened at the bar, with Jaida ordering them both a drink. “So, have you always been a singer?” she asked casually.

“Oh yeah, since I was four.” Jan chuckled. “At the end of the day there was just no other choice for me.”

“I like a girl that knows what she wants out of life,” Jaida mused, taking the glass once it was set down in front of her and sipping from it.

Jan smiled, lips just barely pursed around the rim of the glass. She sipped slowly, then set it down as she looked at her. “Then tell me,” she prompted, “what do you want?” She leaned ever so slightly closer, a sultry air lacing around her words.

Jaida smirked, pointedly looking her over. “Something about five-foot-four, brown eyes, voice of an angel…” she listed, voice trailing off as she spoke. “You know, something along those lines.”

Jan set her glass down once it was empty. “You better be taking that something back to your place then,” she replied simply.

“I intend on it,” she hummed. “You ever been in a Rolls Royce?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen one.”

Jaida grinned, leaving cash down for the bartender before getting up. “Come, Ralph is waiting out back for us.”

Jan tilted her head as she followed. “Ralph?”

“My driver. I inherited the staff as well, but they all liked me better anyway.” She chuckled as they went outside and stepped into the car, exchanging casual greetings with the driver.

While Jan did try to keep her attention on Jaida, she was distracted by how luxurious and pristine the car was, and when they pulled up to Jaida’s house, her eyes went wide. “This is where you live?” she gasped softly.

“Not too shabby, huh?” Jaida hummed as they got out of the car. “A lot of the staff lives here, no point in having a bunch of empty rooms. And my sister’s moving in tomorrow,” she explained, leading her inside.

Jan was trying her best to listen, but taking in everything around her meant her focus was being pulled in six different directions. It reminded her of her first time in Manhattan — everything was big and shiny, but she didn’t think she could touch anything yet. The first thing her hand felt was the railing of the spiral staircase she was following Jaida up.

“And this is my room. It could do with an update, I ain’t gonna lie. But she’s comfy and spacious, can’t really complain.” Jaida hummed. She had been the one that had pushed for such a big bed, and although she was quick to adjust to sleeping in it alone, she was more than happy to bring in new company. She turned to see that Jan had taken off her shoes and thrown herself onto the bed, sprawled out on her back and giggling softly to herself. “Feel free to make yourself at home.”

“Sorry, it just looked so inviting. I couldn’t help myself,” Jan replied, sitting back up.

Jaida smiled as she toed out of her heels. “I’m not mad, you look good in my bed.” She hummed, letting her eyes rake over Jan’s body.

“I’d look even better up close,” she cooed, beckoning Jaida closer with a curl of her finger.

“You know, I think you’re right.” Jaida chuckled as she crawled onto the bed, then on top of Jan, straddling her waist as she kissed along her jawline.

Jan tilted her head back, baring her neck as Jaida’s lips traveled down it. A breathy gasp slipped out when Jaida began littering her neck with hickies until she finally moved up to kiss her properly.

Jaida kissed her hard, deeply. It was the first kiss in years that made her feel so alive, that made her keep going back for more because the taste of her lips became instantly addictive. Her fingers tangled in Jan’s hair, pulling her head closer while her free hand unzipped the younger woman’s dress.

Jan wiggled out of her dress, not wanting to have to break away from Jaida to take it off properly. Her hand wandered across Jaida’s back until she felt the metal of the zipper under her thumb, then unzipped the dress in a swift movement.

When they did have to come up for air, Jaida took another look at the girl beneath her. “You always wear lingerie like this under your work clothes?” she teased, her finger tracing along the outline of Jan’s lacy, strapless bra.

“It helps me stay in the zone. You know, the soft, sultry lounge singer.” She hummed, walking her fingers up Jaida’s arm. “And it seems to have worked,” she added, her fingers stopping on Jaida’s bra strap and playfully tugging it down.

“Guess you got me there,” Jaida murmured, pressing another kiss to her lips as she unhooked her bra and tossed it aside. Her hands glided forward, cupping Jan’s breasts with her thumbs massaging her nipples at a teasingly slow pace, smirking when it elicited a soft moan. She trailed her lips back down Jan’s neck, to her collarbone, then between her breasts.

Jan’s back arched up, body already yearning for more touch, and whimpering softly when she felt Jaida’s tongue swirling around her nipple. Her thighs instinctively parted as soon as Jaida pulled her panties down, but she was past the point of feeling any sort of embarrassment - she knew what she wanted and was ready for it.

And who was Jaida to do anything but give right in? After finally undressing herself, she nudged Jan’s thighs apart with her hand, then gently traced her finger along her folds. She eased one finger in first, curling and pumping it slowly, her eyes trained on Jan’s face, watching her get more and more worked up. “That’s it, good girl,” she murmured as she worked in a second finger and built up her pace. She looked down with amusement when she saw how Jan was thrusting her hips forward, as if she was trying to fuck herself on her fingers. “And so eager,” she teased.

“Just love the way you make me feel, Mommy,” Jan purred in a way that sent chills up Jaida’s spine.

Jaida smirked and leaned over to kiss her. “Cute,” she murmured before moving down between Jan’s legs and, before Jan could offer any response, she replaced her fingers with her tongue, thrusting it and swirling it around.

“F-Fuck!” Jan gasped out sharply, hips pushing up again. Her hands gripped the comforter beneath her, knuckles turning white from the tightness of her hold.

And Jaida was only encouraged by that. Her tongue moved steadily and swiftly while her thumb rubbed at her clit. Her free hand kept her balanced by gripping onto Jan’s thigh, which helped keep Jan in place as well.

Jan was trembling and moaning, her body was red hot and she could feel her pulse racing. Her eyes squeezed shut and her hips bucked up despite Jaida’s grip. “A-Ah, fuck!” she nearly yelled as her orgasm hit.

It was only after Jaida was certain Jan was fully spent that she came up for air. “That good, baby?” she cooed, running her hands up and down Jan’s body.

Jan felt like her soul had left her body, feeling completely numb and utterly spent in the best possible way. “So good,” she breathed out. Once she regained the ability to remember how to move, she sat up. “Let me take care of you,” she whispered, and was already pushing Jaida onto the bed before she could get an answer.

Not that Jaida would’ve ever dreamed of objecting. She laid back with her legs propped apart to give her room, and tried her best to watch her, but the second she felt Jan’s tongue against her pussy and easing its way in, her eyes fluttered shut and her body shuddered in pleasure. She supposed it didn’t surprise her that Jan was talented any way she used her mouth, but god, that girl was an overachiever.

And Jan was nothing if not eager to please. She didn’t let up for a second, not until Jaida came as hard as she had, and even after that, she lingered for a moment, just in case. Then she moved back up Jaida’s body and kissed her sweetly.

Jaida hummed contently and wrapped her arms around Jan. “That was so good, baby,” she praised gently, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before shifting so they could be under the covers. “Think you’re about ready to call it a night?”

Jan nodded, letting out a soft yawn. “God, I’m gonna sleep so well tonight,” she murmured as she nestled herself against Jaida.

“I sure hope so,” she retorted lightly as her eyes closed.

——

The housekeeper let Heidi in that morning, and Heidi didn’t think much of it. She knew her sister had never been a morning person, and they never did set a time for her to come over. Considering she didn’t need to bring any furniture, the transition to moving in was easily handled by herself, with some help from the security guard - she could only go up and down that long staircase so many times with arms full of luggage.

Once she was more or less settled in, Heidi went back downstairs to go into the kitchen with the intent of raiding Jaida’s fridge for some breakfast. What she didn’t expect to see was a white girl in one of her sister’s silk robes leaning against the counter and drinking coffee. “Now who in the fresh hell are you?”

Jan was unphased by this. “I’m Jan,” she answered. “You must be Heidi, Jaida’s told me so much about you.”

“Well she ain’t tell me shit about you, so my question remains unanswered,” she said bluntly.

“Right, that makes sense, since we just met last night,” Jan mused. “Anyway, I know you’re just moving in and stuff, I’ll go let Jaida know you’re here.” She finished her coffee and put the empty mug in the sink before going back upstairs, happy to see that Jaida was a little more awake than when she’d left. “Your sister’s here, by the way,” she said as she sat cross-legged on the bed.

Jaida sat upright. “This early? Damn. Well, I better make myself decent and go talk to her,” she said, getting out of bed and throwing on a t-shirt and sweatpants. “I won’t be long, boo.” She kissed her cheek before she made her way downstairs.

“You got some ‘splaining to do,” Heidi said as soon as Jaida came into her line of vision. “Now, who was that pretty little thing wanderin’ around here in next to nothing?”

“Jan’s the new singer at Shea’s lounge. Listen, I know it was fast but… I don’t know how to explain it, there’s something special about her. We had this connection that I just know is more than intimate.”

Heidi stared at her blankly. “Do you hear yourself right now? It hasn’t even been a month since the funeral and you’ve got a co-ed up in your room.”

Jaida sighed. “Look, I’m not planning on flaunting her out and about yet, but I’m not gonna deny myself just because the dirt on his grave is still fresh.” She chewed her lip. “This is the first time I’ve been happy in years, Heidi. I need you to let me have this.”

Her sister was quiet for a moment. “You really think this girl’s gonna make you that happy?”

“I do.”

“Then I won’t stop you.” Heidi gave in without any more resistance. “Just don’t go mixing any of that white powder into her drink, she seems real nice.”

Jaida rolled her eyes, then quickly glanced around to make sure they were alone. “Don’t you worry, arsenic milkshakes are off the menu.”

#rpdr fanfiction #jan sport #jaida essence hall #jaida x jan #lesbian au #fic challenge #black girl magic fic #like a million dollar bill #joley #diversity fic #s12

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starlene · 5 years ago

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A long, itemized, soul-searching list of complaints

...related to theatre in Finland, and my personal relationship to it.

This has been brewing in my mind for a while, and I have to write this out somewhere or I think I’ll start wailing in frustration. I’m putting it on Tumblr, because I feel like now is simply not the right time to start airing my complaints about the Finnish theatre scene in spaces that people from said scene actually visit. But I still have to try to get this out of my mind.

So.

Seeing how theatres have been closed for over four months now, I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on my own relationship to Finnish musical theatre. For the past decade, it’s been the thing I’ve been the most interested in – which is why it feels so saddening to me to see where the whole scene seems to be going.

You see, for a country with only 5,5 million inhabitants, and only 18 people per square kilometer, Finland has a ridiculously robust network of state-subsidized theatres. There are dozens of them, most big and mid-sized towns have one. So far, so good, right? But then, when you look into this a little bit deeper, and figure out how musicals fit into the equation...

Well, here’s how it looks like:

1) Musicals are widely regarded as the cash cows of Finnish theatre. Put on Fiddler on the Roof and you’re guaranteed to get butts in seats. The most popular theatrical productions in this country are almost always musicals.

2) In so-called intellectual circles, musicals are widely regarded as worthless drivel that should not benefit from any public funding.

3) During the past... dunno, five years or so, a handful of our biggest theatres have been getting into this ridiculous ours-is-bigger-than-yours type of competition with their musical productions. They buy the rights to some mediocre new musical that ran on Broadway for a year and a half, promote it as a huge Broadway success story that is finally being brought to Finland, and come up with some way to make it bigger or otherwise more special than any Finnish musical production before – be it the biggest ensemble, the flashiest special effects, the most famous composer visiting the premiere, the most accordions added to the original orchestration (added accordion has seriously been used as a selling point over here)... And the productions themselves tend to be these replica-ish-but-not-quite, professionally made but artistically bland and devoid-of-any-deeper-meaning spectacles.

4) The ticket prices for these big musical productions have shot through the roof. I’m talking about increases up to 80% in ten years – increases that simply cannot be explained away with the overall rate of inflation. I’m talking tickets to Finnish state-subsidized musicals costing the same as tickets to Finnish commercial musicals (well, granted, we only have one theatre that’s making big scale commercial productions – but it’s not a good look that their prices match the state-funded prices), tickets to Swedish commercial musicals costing less than tickets to Finnish state-funded ones.

5) Did I mention a big percentage of the funding for Finnish arts comes from our state-owned betting agency? In practice, that means a big chunk of the arts funding comes from the pockets of poor people addicted to gambling. Seriously. 50% of the profit the agency makes comes from the most active 5% of gamblers, and almost 25% of the profit comes from people that have a gambling addiction. There is also some evidence suggesting the agency has deliberately been placing the majority of their slot machines in poor neighbourhoods. There is talk about dismantling this whole thing, but it’s a really difficult issue, since no one really has a realistic idea for an alternative way of funding the arts.

...and the more I think about this nasty circle of things I’ve written about above, the worse it makes me feel.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m 100% for state-funded arts, and I 100% believe musical theatre is a form of art on par with any other. But the way the funding works right now, the way the biggest theatres keep increasing the prices and, thus, pricing everyone who’s not well-off out... It really makes me furious. My family has always been well-to-do, but I could not have had the experiences I’ve had earlier in my life if I was born ten years later. I would not have the money to see all the musicals I got to see as a teenager if I was a teenager now. (And then they wonder why young people don’t seem to be interested in theatre.)

Of course, I know that no one needs theatre to survive. It’s a good thing to have, but it’s not at a matter of life and death, far from it. And that’s another big thing I’ve been thinking about. This spring and summer, four months and counting without theatre, has shown me that personally, I truly do not need theatre to survive. If it’s not available, I’ll just do something else.

So now that certain theatre people have been giving these statements about the importance of the arts and making the audience trust going to the theatre again despite corona (which is... it’s such utter nonsense, it’s not in your hands if we get a second wave or not – if anything, reopening theatres makes it more likely we will – and if we do, nothing you do or say can make us “trust” going to the theatre since it will not be safe to do so and that’s that)... I just can’t help thinking, are you actually as essential to our society as you like to pretend you are? Are you actually offering a public, accessible service? (On top of all this, add the fun fact that only 50% of Finnish arts organizations that are required by law to have an equality plan actually have it, and you get a picture of how important being equal and accessible actually is for the arts in this country.)

And once you see this stuff, really see it, it’s really hard to unsee it and to go back advocating for Finnish musical theatre.

It’s like the big theatres are hearing the criticism that musicals should not be subsidized at all, and to debunk it, they do exactly what the critics have been saying they shouldn’t do. I do love a big musical production every now and then – but I super do not love getting one every single year in all the big theatres, if that means that prices will continue to rise, and that more and more people who don’t have a lot of money to spare can’t see musicals at all. I do love a Broadway musical every now and then – but I super do not love that in 99% of the cases, the people in charge don’t even consider the world of musicals that exists outside of Broadway. (I also hate the nonsense argument of pitting original Finnish musicals and Broadway musicals against each other, but that’s a rant for another day.)

And in the end, I feel like the Finnish theatre scene in general is out of touch with reality. We have things like climate change and inequality and whatnot going on in here, and for the most part, it seems like they do not even notice – or if they do, it’s an opportunity for them to look good, not to do good. Common enough in corporate world, sure, but for a field that prides itself for being so humane and essential to human survival... yeah.

Of course, I’ve been personally let down by certain aspects and people of the Finnish theatre world, which partially caused my burnout, which in turn has had some severe repercussions I keep battling with to this day. I’ll be the first to admit that this experience will probably always colour my views on Finnish theatre as a whole, and if everything had taken a different turn some years ago, I likely would not feel this bitter now.

But as it is, I’m going to live my life with the memory of that disappointment and the shadow of that burnout, and I don’t think they take away the validity of my criticism.

It just feels a bit rough. I’ve been trying to speak for Finnish musical theatre for a decade, I’ve cared about it deeply, and it’s given me plenty of happy memories too – so, to examine the whole system, and to end up with this deeply cynical outlook of it all... it’s a bit sad. I know losing interest in things you used to like can be related to depression and things like that – but what if this is not that, what if this is how I’d be feeling in any case?

It’s just a bit sad, I guess.

It’s not that there are no directors or actors whose work I’m interested in anymore, there certainly are, and there are exciting things coming up. It’s just... with everything I’ve mentioned above, and especially when you remember the ongoing pandemic, it doesn’t feel so important right now.

I actually feel a bit queasy thinking of going to theatre in the fall since it doesn’t feel 100% safe. I really need to think that through before I decide to go or not to go. I mean – I know the corona situation in Finland is looking very good right now, and maybe this is just the future we’ll be living in from now on, but at the same time, the chance of being the person who got sick because she went to see West Side Story or whatever... Yeah. Doesn’t sound too good, does it.

So yeah, just wanted to write all this out somewhere. I know the arts have been hit really hard because of corona, so I can’t really go around criticising them in public right now, even if they 100% deserve it – now is simply not the right time. But all this is making me feel so conflicted and confused, seeing how much of my own life has been and still is entwined with these things, and not knowing what to make of it all, not knowing how to reframe the place Finnish musical theatre has in my in my life and in my heart.

Thank you for reading. If you have any thoughts, I’d love to hear them.

#personal.

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multimetaverse · 5 years ago

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HSMTMTS 1x06 Review

What Team? was another wonderful ep that really dove into the found family aspect of the show. Let’s dig in!

Miss Jenn’s past finally catches up to her as principal Gutierrez summons her to face the School Board tribunal on charges of falsifying her credentials, lying on her resume, and aiding Kulak saboteurs

I absolutely loved the spectacle of the trial. There’s a time and a place for realism but no one is tuning into HSMTMTS to see an accurate depiction of a school disciplinary process; we’re here to see rousing musical numbers, loving and supportive characters, over the top drama, a bit of camp, and a whole lot of heart. Tim Federle has a knack for making a crowd pleasing series without devolving into fan service and it serves him very well this this ep. As he shared on his twitter, Truth, Justice and Songs in Our Key was meant to have a rollicking, revival style to it, and it was just the right tone for the show to take

The little details of the performance are great. Benjamin Mazzara standing off to the side on top of the stairs looking down on Miss Jenn and the drama department both literally and figuratively. Big Red for some reason wearing a red trench coat and then taking it off even and carrying it with him down the stairs, it’s a bizarre choice but Big Red is a weird dude so it works. Principal Gutierrez declaring that everyone in the dramatic arts are insane. Miss Jenn’s facial expressions when Carlos and Seb call her out for having a sketchy past and dropping the ball. Ricky’s spider man jump onto the table

Of course, in real life Miss Jenn would have been immediately fired once it was discovered that she didn’t have real credentials but the show must go on and I’d rather they dispose of this now then drag it out. Though I do hope that we get some mention of Miss Jenn having to get remedial training or something

A strong ep for Carlos. His bond with Miss Jenn is very touching and one that the show can get a lot of mileage out of in the coming seasons. Carlos’ line about Miss Jenn being the first teacher not to treat him like a punchline was poignant and there’s a lot of sad history behind that. We see a more confident Carlos this ep, building off of his struggles and triumphs in Homecoming. He boldly confronts Mr. Mazzara and blames him for ratting out Miss Jenn’s past; the whole exchange was funny especially the ‘’Carlos surname’’ line but they really need to give him a last name. His bit with Nini about the forest of boys was also hilarious

We got some nice small Seblos moments this ep. It’s still amazing to see a boy playing a female character and wearing making up and having it be no big deal on a Disney show. I liked Seb gentle chiding Carlos for not leaning on him when he found out that Miss Jenn was facing dismissal and him putting his hand on Carlos’ knee after Carlos talked about Miss Jenn being the only teacher to take him seriously. Seb also has a great voice and I can see why they promoted Joe Serafini to series regular for S2. We can see the difference it makes that Carlos now has a designated love interest, it’s not just about the ship but about the fact that Carlos has a character who is now supporting his own plot lines which makes him more important

Real sketchy of Disney to cut the scene of Seb comforting Carlos that they themselves promoted with photos on instagram and in the LA Times article about Seblos. It’s an improvement over Disney’s past cutting and editing of gay scenes before they canon but I hope it doesn’t become a habit

Some nice Nini and Seb friendship moments this ep as well. As an astute tumblr user pointed out, Seb commented on Nini’s I I think I Kinda You Know post so they’ve probably known each other for a while

We got some sweet Rina moments this ep, we’re really seeing Gina let her walls down and start to just enjoy being a part of the production. I’m glad that her alliance with EJ is finally done with, if she wanted to play Gabriella it never mattered who was Troy and at this point there’s no way Gina would try and sabotage Ricky to help EJ. I also liked that she was so supportive of Ricky throughout the ep. They have great chemistry and while disaster is looming for Rina I wouldn’t mind seeing them explored more in later seasons since we certainly won’t see Ricky and Nini together for the entire series

Nini was giving Ricky some major heart eyes this ep and is clearly not over him or comfortable seeing him and Gina flirting

Disney has officially used Rini as the ship name for Ricky and Nini so with great reluctance I am retiring the use of Nicky as their ship name

Great growth for Ricky as he goes from not really caring about the musical or taking it seriously to fighting to save it. He looked too funny in that Troy Bolton wig. He’s definitely attracted to Gina but what he actually wants to be with her, just a friend or something more remains to be seen. Gina has certainly made her intentions clear especially with all those heart emojis in her text to Ricky

Good ep for Mike Bowen as well as he shows up to support his son and also takes discovering who Miss Jenn really is in stride. Ricky seems to have noticed something going on with his dad and Miss Jenn but also seems okay with it

Mr. Mazzara had a very lawyerly response to Carlos accusing him of ratting out Miss Jenn, he didn’t actually deny it but instead shifted the blame to Miss Jenn

EJ has really fallen off since Nini dumped him. His apology was a good start to redeeming himself but even in this ep he still seems to want to work with Gina to take down Ricky so he can play Troy

It seems like every ep has been getting a little bit shorter which is something that they should reverse in S2

Looking Ahead:

We know that next ep is where Gina has her breakdown scene with her mom and we know that in ep 8 there’s an almost Rini kiss (or perhaps an actual kiss though I think it’s more likely that’s saved for the finale). What leads to the breakdown and the almost kiss will be interesting to see

They didn’t have EJ reveal that it was Gina who originally stole Nini’s phone and that coming out would be the easiest way to derail Rina but we’ll see if the show circles back to that

Is the news Gina gets that she has to move again or is it something else related to her family? We know she has a mom but we don’t know if her dad is in the picture or why she’s had to move so often. I reblogged a post earlier this week that showed scenes from an audition from a girl who auditioned for the role of Gina. They paint her mother as very overbearing and the script even refers to her as Gina’s stage mom. I’m curious to see if they’ve softened her mother at all since then. It does seem like they’ve changed Gina from being someone who has viral music posts to focus more on her dancing which likely came about because they casted Sofia Wylie and decided to make more use of her dancing abilities

Joshua Rush revealed that he auditioned for the role of EJ which doesn’t have any impact on the show going forward but is interesting news and not something I would have expected. I’m very surprised he went out for the role of EJ since he really doesn’t fit EJ as he is in the show and the original character breakdown for EJ seems to track pretty well for how he is now (though we have yet to see EJ’s panic attacks). I kind of feel like his agent let him down a bit by having him go out for EJ when he was such a long shot for that specific role, I think he would have had better odds going out for Big Red or even Ricky. He would have been 16 when he auditioned for EJ and I wonder how seriously they ever took any of the actors who were under 18 when they auditioned. I don’t think it’s an accident that they went with a then 20 year old to play EJ since it seems like the character was always intended to be a muscular hunk in the way that teenagers can’t and shouldn’t pull off

We get Mr. Mazzara and Miss Jenn stuck together for Thanksgiving. I think we’ll see him start to learn to respect Miss Jenn and I’d imagine he’ll eventually fall for her though we really need to seem him apologize for exposing her past. A Miss Jenn and Mike Bowen and Mr. Mazzara love triangle could be interesting. The Salt Lake Tribune entertainment writer wrote an article before the series premiered talking about his time as an extra during the filming of 1x10 and he mentioned that the eps performance takes place in the gym not the theatre but to reveal why would have been a spoiler. I wonder if maybe the reason is because Mr. Mazzara comes up with a way to levitate Troy and that required filming in the gym rather than the theatre

Until next week wildcats

#HSMTMTS #Rini #Rina #Seblos #Ricky Bowen #Gina Porter #Nini Salazar-Roberts #Miss Jenn #Carlos #seb mathew-smith #Benjamin Mazzara #Mike Bowen #EJ Caswell #HSMTMTS Reviews

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hanniiesuckle17 · 6 years ago

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Offstage

A/n: y'all about to get on me for doing another Jisung imagine………..shut up he is my soulmate okay.💕💕💕 if I got request for other people I wouldnt do him as much😂😂 also this is probably one of the longest imagines ive ever written holy crap

Member: Han Jisung ft Bangchan, Felix, Changbin, and Seungmin

WARNINGS: Swearing (it’s me guys come on, also tumblr I put it in the warnings stop flagging my posts), Jisung being the cocky bitch he is.

Summary: The Dance Dept. and Theatre Dept. have never gotten along. It’s just the stereotype of the arts. However, the teachers are done with that and have decided to include the Dance Dept in the school’s musical this year. What happens when the Queen of the Thespians and the King of the Dancers are forced to cooperate?

Genre: fluff, comedy, romance, enemies to lovers, highschool au, theatre au

“WE’RE WHAT?” I screamed at my closest friend, Bangchan. He took a deep breath before putting his hands on my shoulders. “Y/n, it’s not the end of the world.” No. This was the end of the world.

“Chan, we aren’t seriously letting those cocky small-brained dancers into the show are we?” He nodded and placed a stack of papers on the table. “I just got the notice from Mrs.Kwon.” Fuming, I flopped down in one of the auditorium chairs. I had worked my ass off to get to the status I had in the theatre department. This was my third lead and I wasn’t about to let some dancers ruin the show I cared about.

“Think about it this way. Legally Blonde is a huge dance show. Now some of the pressure for choreography is off. I talked to this guy Felix and he said he would choreograph.” Chan was my best friend and he was graduating this year. This was his last chance to direct one of our shows before he left. If he had to compromise….then I guess I could. “How does Seungmin feel about this?” A crash was heard from the wings.

“MINHO! I NEED YOU TO NOT DROP THE $300 SET PIECE! PLEASE!”

We both flinched at Seungmin’s loud voice. “He’ll be fine……probably. He’s the Stage Manager he is used to problems popping up.”

“MINHO! I SWEAR TO GOD!”

He sighed and shifted through the papers on the director’s table. He looked stressed. This was obviously not how he wanted his show to go. “You want me to stay with you for the extra auditions?” Running a hand through his hair, he turned to me with a tired smile. “No, it’s okay. Woojin wanted to go wig shopping with you anyway. We can’t have a brunette, Elle.” Playfully he shoved me up the aisle.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah! List will be posted outside.”

My eyes bore holes into the clock on the wall. I tried to drown out the loud boys next to me. Felix and Hyunjin were part of the dance department and had too much energy in my opinion. The second the bell rang I sprinted out of my seat and raced to the auditorium. Seungmin and Woojin stood in front of the call board when I arrived.

“What’s up?” Seungmin turned to me with a look that could kill. “Why are there dancers in my show?” Shrugging I turned my eyes to the list and scanned through the names.

“Technically it’s Chan’s show-”

“IT’S MY GOD DAMN SHOW TOO!”

“Ah Fuck.”

The two boys turned to me and asked what was wrong. Without another word I pointed to a name next to the male lead spot. “Han Jisung,” Woojin read aloud. A loud laugh could be heard coming down the hall. We all turned to find Jisung, Felix, and Hyunjin strolling down the hall towards the theatre. They stopped when they saw us.

“L/n.”

“Han.”

“Tightass.”

“Douchebag.”

“You want me.”

“To jump of a cliff? Yes.”

Smirking he ran a hand through his brown hair. “See you in there.” If only real daggers ended up in his back instead of my glare. “Can he even sing? How could Bangchan give Emmett to that……asshole.” Sharing a look the two of them shrugged before opening the door of the auditorium and entering.

The house lights were on and Chan was standing at the edge of a stage with a clipboard. I took a seat in the front row next to my friends Irene and Changbin. Seungmin and Jeongin joined Chan on stage and waited for everyone to quiet down.

“Welcome guys and congratulations for making it onto the Legally Blonde cast and crew!” Everyone clapped and cheered as Chan smiled broadly. “I’m Bangchan your director. This is Seungmin, your Stage Manager. And that is Jeongin our Assistant Director. Cast if you have any problems come to me or Jeongin, and crew you can go to Seungmin.”

Chan hesitated before speaking again. “Just make sure it is a real problem before going to Seungmin. We can’t have another Little Mermaid fiasco again.” The theatre kids laughed, but an obvious silence came from the dance crew.

“Okay. Y/n once again is our amazing lead!” I smiled and waved to my friends who were cheering. “And we have a new addition to the cast! Han Jisung will be playing Emmett, and Hwang Hyunjin will be playing Warner.” I felt eyes on me and turned to find Han smirking a few rows back. Rolling my eyes, I turned back around to listen to the rest of the cast being read off. I congratulated Changbin for getting Callahan and continued half-listening to the rest of the speech.

After the welcoming speech, Chan handed out the scripts and wanted to go directly into blocking. He told us the scene number and the characters needed jumped on stage. Chan amazingly lead and directed us through starting positions for the scene while answering Felix’s many questions about choreography.

Han was polite enough. He took Chan’s coaching well and did okay for his first day. I almost forgot that he was a major dickhead for a moment. Bangchan decided to not do musical numbers on the first day but told us to go home and practice for tomorrow’s first Saturday rehearsal where we would start doing choreography and songs.

My old car sputtered to a stop in the school parking lot. I was maybe an hour early to rehearsal, but that never hurt. I pulled my crop top down and adjusted my leggings and flannel. Reluctantly, I came ready to dance today.

On my way to the auditorium, I passed the dance and stopped when I heard a voice.

She was so close she could taste it

She’s gotta chip on her shoulder

Guess you never can tell

With little Miss Woods comma Elle

Hesitantly I entered the dance studio with my duffle on my shoulder. I was shocked to see Jisung standing in front of the mirror focused on adjusting to the high note, repeating the last few bars over and over again.

“Maybe try singing from your diaphragm.” He jumped at my voice and turned, shocked to see me leaning against the wall. “I mean, you aren’t bad. You just need a little coaching.” I threw my duffle on the ground and walked over to him. It was then I noticed something different about him. That cocky, confident, headass air he had was gone. He looked almost nervous as I came to stand in front of him.

Grabbing his wrist I placed his hand on the upper part of my stomach. “With little Miss Woods comma Elle,” His eyes widened and stared straight into mine. “See. It’s a completely different muscle.” He nodded and continued looking into my eyes.

“Now you.” Placing my hand on top of his I moved it to his own stomach above his diaphragm. “Go on. Try the last stanza.” He looked down at his stomach and took a breath of hair before looking back at me. “Guess you never can tell, with little Miss Woods comma Elle,”

“Yeah! That was great!” I didn’t seem to notice the smile that spread across my face. “Feel better doesn’t it?” He nodded, shocked at his own voice. “That’s actually really cool. Thank you.” He grabbed a water bottle near his bag and handed it to me.

“No problem. You aren’t as bad as I thought you were going to be, Han.”

“Just because I’m a dancer doesn’t mean I can’t sing.”

I shrugged and took a small sip of his water before handing it back to Jisung. “So what is this show actually about?” I laughed and took his script which was sticking out of his bag. Surprisingly it was marked up with notes, and question marks, and highlighted to all hell. “So there is this girl, Elle, that’s me. And after a terrible breakup with her boyfriend, Warner, ‘Hyunjin’, she decides to follow him to Harvard law school so she can win him back.”

“Okay. But he broke up with her?”

“She’s not very smart.”

"Anyway, she goes and she realizes she sucks at law school. So she meets you, Emmett, who is like a Teacher's Assistant who grows a soft spot for her. He helps her study and she actually gets really good at law. So the whole story is about overcoming adversity and stereotype and self-worth and strength. And Elle actually ends up telling Warner off and ends up with Emmett."

Jisung nods along and listens intently the whole time I speak. "This must be your favorite show if you know so much about it." I shook my head and sat down against the mirror. To my surprise, Han sat in front of me. “No. My favorite show is a little more morbid than this.” He scoffed and took a swig of water.

“Aren’t musicals like all happy and we love life and let’s all sing a song!”

“What is it that you think we do?”

“That.”

I sighed, seeing the stubborn personality he had start to shine through. “Listen if you are going to be in this show you have to understand that theatre is a way of expression.” He looked down at the floor. “Like...dance?” My eyes shot up to his face. “Yeah, actually. It’s not enough to just act the character’s feelings. You have to think of them as a real person and find a moment that you can connect to their feelings.”

He seemed kind of spaced and simply stared at me. “Well- um...my friend is in a show next weekend and I think it is a show you might really connect with. Would you maybe want to go? I mean, to see what theatre is actually like.” Why was I offering this to him? I didn’t care. Well, I care about the show.

“With you?”

“It could be like a bonding thing. I’d rather not hate my co-star.”

“Okay. I’ll see you next weekend.”

Looking at the time, we both scrambled to get our things and race to the theater. I couldn’t help but smile at Jisung as we both sat in the back row listening to the schedule being called out.

Nervously I twisted the ring on my right hand. Since when did I become nervous to see Jisung. It had only been a week of rehearsals, but somehow I had grown to like him. He was nice and cracked jokes with me in between scenes. Jisung had also stayed behind several times to help me with choreography.

I smoothed out the dark green dress I had chosen to wear. Was it too tight? Irene did tend to call it my ‘Ass for Days’ dress. The heels I was wearing were also starting to hurt. I stood outside the theater waiting for Jisung. The sun had just started to set and my friend Rocky sent me a text that the show was starting soon and he reserved my seats.

“Holy shit...”

Looking up I saw Jisung stop in his tracks. His eyes looked me up and down, but not in a lustful way. More like a surprised way. I couldn’t help but look at him the same way. He wore a casual fitted black suit and a white dress shirt underneath without a tie. His brown hair which was usually fluffy and tousled was now purposely parted on the side and combed through.

“Hi...”

“You look grea-” “You look beautiful-”

“Sorry...”

Holy fuck. He only looks hot because he is in a suit. That’s just science. All guys are hot in suits. It’s totally not because his hair looks great and I could see how slim his waist was compared to his chest. Oh fuck. He is in suits for the entire second act. Am I going to think like this every time I see him in a suit?

“We should go in!” I said interrupting my own less than pure thoughts. He cleared his throat and nodded, closing the gap between us as I turned to go inside. I mentally scolded myself for blushing when I felt his slender fingers grazing my lower back.

Once we (mostly me) were emotionally and hormonally safe in our seats, the two of us started talking. “So L/n, what is the show called?” He turned to me with a nervous smile. It’s not cute Y/n. It’s the suit. I swear to god it’s the suit. “It’s called A Chorus Line. It is a very dance-heavy show and the actors don’t leave the stage unless it’s intermission.”He nodded and looked around the auditorium for a moment before turning back to me.

“What’s it about?”

“Oh. Um. Well, it is about an audition for the ensemble of a Broadway show. And it talks about the lives and trials each person has had to go through just to be on stage. It’s a really great show.”

Just as he was about to speak the lights dimmed and the orchestra picked up. Throughout the show, I tried to focus on Rocky as he played Paul San Marco, but I couldn’t keep from glancing at Jisung. I couldn’t help but be fascinated by his reaction. He listened intently to the stories and monologues and when intermission came around he asked me all sorts of questions about the show and which character my friend was.

The lights dimmed once more and I couldn’t help but notice that Jisung’s hand gripped the chair tightly during the scene where Paul fell and injured his knee. Worried I looked up to see slow quiet tears on his cheeks. I turned back to the stage and looked up as the scene progressed. Carefully, I let my hand graze over his and I held it lightly. I heard him take a breath and glance over at me, and I hoped my face still seemed intent on the performance.

I tried to ignore the way my heart started beating faster when he moved his hand to lace his fingers with mine.

“I really do appreciate this opportunity to work with you.” My fingers pushed a piece of blonde hair behind my ear as I sat down on the desk near Changbin. We were running the assault scene in the wig and with full set today for the dress rehearsal. Usually I would have met up with Jisung and worked on lines together, but his call time was later than mine. “I have learned so much.” I could see Changbin give me the signal with his eyebrow. An almost ‘are you ready’ secret message that we had between us.

“No, what you’ve learned isn’t the point. You have instincts...and instincts, legal instincts or otherwise can’t be taught.”

His fingers tapped on the desk while he sustained eye contact. If I hadn’t known it was fake, a shudder would go down my spine. My ears picked up the auditorium door opening and closing, but I remained in character, waiting for Changbin to act on his cue.

“Trust... your instincts.”

There was a pause and I continued acting oblivious. ‘Suddenly’ Changbin’s lips were crashing against mine and his hands were groping at my ass. After waiting for my cue from Hyori, I pushed Bin away and did the slap we practiced. Bin laughed quite sleazily and touched his cheek. “I thought you were smarter than that.”

“Awesome! Let's change the set for Elle and Emmett.” Bangchan called from the director’s desk.

Turning I saw Jisung standing in the middle of the aisle, his grip tight on his backpack. He wore the tank top and sweats he always wore after coming from dance practice and a backwards white cap. Even from the audience I could see a mix of emotions on his face, and none were good. Things between Jisung and I had become more flowing. It turns out it wasn’t just the suit. However, I didn’t want to get into anything serious with my castmate. I didn’t even know if he liked me.

I jumped off of the stage to let Seungmin yell at the underclassmen to move sets. Running up to Jisung I greeted him with a smile. “Hi!” His face still looked sad, but he tried to cover it with a small smile. “Hi...I saw your scene. You were great. I almost couldn’t tell you were acting.”

“Thanks! You look cute in hats.” Playfully I grabbed it, letting his fluffy hair loose and placing the white hat over my blonde wig. “Yeah well, I like your natural hair better.” That same sad smile came over his face. It didn’t quite reach his eyes and I was surprised I took notice of a detail so small.

“Hey...you look nervous. Are you okay?” My hand reached out for his arm and he looked down at the touch. “Yeah. I’m fine, Y/n.” I smirked and looked up at the boy before putting the hat back on his head. “What? No more L/n?” He shrugged, but I saw a flash of a smile. “Will you help me with choreo after rehearsal?” He nodded and tossed his stuff in a chair next to Hyunjin. With a smile I thanked him and walked over to Bangchan who gave me notes on the next scene.

Three hours later Jisung and I were in the dance studio running over the biggest number I had. “And mark the lift, 1 2 3 4. Good!” He smiled and turned off the music.

“I mean, you aren’t bad. You just need a little coaching.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as Jisung used the same thing I said to him on me. “Well what have you been doing the last four weeks, huh? Should I ask Hyunjin to help me instead!” Laughing I jumped onto him and playfully pulled him down to the floor. He rolled me off of his chest and propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at me.

“Nah. I’m much better than him.”

“Really. Should I tell him that?”

“.......Since when are you so close anyway!”

He jokingly yelled. That bright smile beamed on his face and ran all the way up to his eyes. There was a moment of comfortable silence and we just lay looking at each other. In that moment, I started to question if he didn’t have feelings for me. Then he broke the silence.

“So, how do you do that thing?” He looked down at the hardwood floor. “What thing?” “You know...you and Changbin. It wasn’t real.....right?” He looked up at me, almost hopeful. Pushing my self up, I sat cross-legged and looked down at him. “What? The stage kiss. No. Bin is gay. Trust me.”

“Wait what?”

“You haven’t seen Felix and him making out in the light booth?”

“WHAT?”

I laughed at the shocked look on his face and slightly pushed his shoulder. “You’re oblivious.” He shrugged and looked back up at me. “So, how do you do it?” He started playing with the ring on my right hand. “Are you nervous about our kiss--Oh- Have you never kissed anyone!!?” Jisung shot upright.

“I have kissed lots of girls!”

“Oh, okay.”

“I HAVE!”

“Yet, you are still nervous for our kiss.”

He brought his knees up and rested his arms on them. It took every inch of my self control not to stare at his arms. “Well, it’s gonna be in front of hundreds of people so yeah. A little.”

“It’s easy. Ours especially.” I snatched his white hat from him again and he chuckled when it was a little too big for me without my wig. “Explain, good madam.” “Both are at the end of the show,” I said have laughing and him nodding along.

“The first lasts exactly one eight count and then we do the rest of the song. The second is the cue for the blackout. Not long at all.” He nodded again, yet I didn’t think I had put him at rest. “Would it help set you at ease if we rehearsed it? That way you’ve done it when it is just you and me and not six hundred and eighty four people.”

Thinking about it, he nodded and followed my lead when I stood up and cued up the music. “Okay, so I’ve just proposed,” I stated getting done on one knee. I looked up to find him smirking.

“Having fun done there?”

“I will punch you in the nuts and not regret it. You really will be singing tenor then.”

“Okay moving on.”

He laughed and looked down at me slipping the pretend ring on his finger. He sang his line with the track. A real laugh left my lips when he picked me up in a hug and spun me around. The note sounded loud and clear in the dance studio and ended when my feet touched the ground. He looked into my eyes and his hand came up to my cheek before he kissed me.

I tried to ignore the tingling sensation that ran through my body as soon as his lips touched mine. I tried to ignore how even though he had been dancing for hours he still smelled like vanilla and the grass after a storm. I tried to focus on measuring the eight count, but my mind went foggy when I felt his hand bury itself in my hair. Well if I’m not counting he is, so it’s fine. It’s fine.

Jisung subconsciously took the control I gave him. He slowed the kiss from its original pace. Every time I thought he was pulling away he came back to my lips and I thought I could feel him smiling. After a moment he pulled away and looked into my eyes. At that moment I snapped out of it, realizing the song had already ended. He was still looking at me with his big brown eyes.

“The song is over...” His voice was low and almost a whisper. “Yeah...we kinda missed our cue.” What should I do? For once in my life....my mind was blank. “Uh...I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess?” He said with the corner of his lips quirking up. After a nod, he smiled and pulled away from me. Jisung stole glances back at me frozen in place as he picked up his bag and left.

The next day I walked into the auditorium in a crop and shorts. Immediately my eyes found Jisung and a wide smile spread across my face. Slowly it fell when I saw him talking to Hyori, a smirk evident on her small face. Her eyes met mine for a second before she reached out to Han’s arm. Suddenly he turned and saw me. A cold expression resonated over his sharp features.

After saying something to her, Han looked away and headed backstage. While my heart screamed to storm over to Hyori and ask what kind of game she was playing with Han, but my head told me to let it go and focus on tonight’s show.

Woojin caught up with me and helped me get in costume and makeup for the show. Every time I tried to talk to Jisung he would just avoid me and tell me some random excuse. Even Hyunjin came up to ask me what was wrong with his friend. Soon the wig came on and it was time for the start of the show.

The laughs and cheers sounded from the crowd but in the back of my mind and in the corner of my eye I could see Han in the wings, watching me with that cold expression.

I feel so much better...

Than before

My throat burned and my stomach clenched as I held out the last note. If I couldn’t know what was going on with Jisung, I was damn sure going to give the best show I’ve ever done. Even if it destroyed my vocal cords and my body. My voice was the thing I could control right now, and it would do what I told it to. So, I told it to keep the note strong and not take the second breath.

With the conductor’s cue, I stopped and smiled brightly at the audience before the stage went black for intermission. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bangchan bolted from his front-row seat in the audience and sprinted backstage. Seungmin and Changbin both rushed up and gave me a bottle of water.

“God damn Y/n! I knew you had pipes but I thought fossil fuel was the reason we were running out of oxygen.”

“Y/n!”

Chan rushed up to me and threw me over his shoulder. “I love you. I love you. I love you, but please save your voice. We kinda need it for the second act.” I smiled and nodded, my eyes looking everywhere for Jisung. I had ten minutes to change costumes, wigs, makeup check, and somehow get him to talk to me.

“Where’s Jisung? I need to-umm...ask him about the costume change for ‘Take it Like a Man’“. I asked as calmly as possible after I had changed. Woojin told me that he was in the guy’s dressing room changing suits. Charging down the dark cramped backstage hall I opened the door to find Changbin and Jisung. With look towards Changbin he scurried out the door leaving me and Jisung alone.

“We have three minutes until curtain. You better tell me what the fuck is going on, Han.”

“Why don’t you tell me, huh?”

His brows furrowed as he raised his voice. His outburst stunned me for a moment. “Is this just this thing you do? Messing with your co-stars? Huh, L/n?” I could see in his eyes he was truly hurt. “Where the hell did you get that from!” He scoffed and finished doing his tie. “Hyori told me all about you and Jungkook.”

“Hyori?”

“Yes.”

“Hyori? The girl who Jungkook cheated on me with? Only so I would so devastated to miss the opening night and she could fill in for me.”

His expression changed drastically. “She lied?” He sank down in one of the cheap metal chairs. “Yeah it’s kind of her shtick.” He ran a hand through his hair before looking up at me again. “Y/n I am so sorry-” “I just can’t believe you trusted her word over anything I would have told you.” A heavy silence came between us and all I could do was stare at him in disbelief.

“Come on people! WARNING is NOT a suggestion! PLACES is NOT a category on jeopardy! GO is NOT A FUCKING OPTION!”

Seungmin yelled down the hall and Jisung sighed and got up from the chair. “Y/n, I-” He stopped when I put up my hand. “Listen...we’ll talk after the show.” I just had to get out of there.

Han grabbed my arm and blocked the set door. “Hey. Hey. We’ll fix it. We’ll fight it.” Something in his eyes told me the emotion was real. “Emmett. There is no reason for me to stay.” I opened the door and closed it walking onto the other side and closing it. The music started to swell and I could feel all this pent up emotion in my chest. “What about love? You never mentioned love.”

I could hear the crack in Jisung’s voice that wasn’t usually there. “You never mentioned love. The timing’s bad, I know. But perhaps if I’d made it more clear, that you belong right here, then you wouldn’t have to go.” My throat started to close up but I pushed through it and took a breath for my part of the song where we sang over each other. “Because you know that I’m so much in love-”

Back to the sun

Back to the shore

Back to what I was before

Lie on the beach, dream within reach

Don’t stray beyond

I felt real tears come down my cheeks as I moved downstage to face the lights. In my side vision I saw Jisung do the same. I had thought that I could be different. That he was different. That maybe we could put this unspoken rivalry behind us.

If you can hear, can I just say

How much I want you to stay

We returned to the door, but this time something felt different when I pressed my hand to the door.

It’s not up to me just let me be legally blonde

Seungmin pushed everyone on stage for the final scene and Woojin tugged the graduation camp over my wig and hurriedly covered the curtain call dress with the robe. Throughout the scene I couldn’t help but steal glances at Jisung. It wasn’t his fault. He had no way of knowing about Jungkook and Hyori.

Walking over to Han, I gave him a genuine smile and got down on one knee. “Emmett Forest please make me the happiest woman I know!” I sang with sureness. He spun me around like once before and took my face in his slender fingers.

And kissed me.

The grin on my lips was so big that it hurt my cheeks. I had to tap him on the shoulder when we needed to sing, but pulling away his smile was so big and genuine. He knew I had forgiven him. It felt so hard not to just stop singing and just jump into his arms. We both rushed up to the platform upstage and stood in the center.

Jisung smiled down at me and moved the tassel onto the other side of my cap, like he was supposed to. With the final cue of music, I couldn’t take it anymore and I tangled my fingers into his soft brown hair and crashed my lips onto his. I heard the roaring applause which meant the stage lights were in blackout for curtain call, but he was still kissing me. “Curtain call?” I whispered against his lips, in case my mic was still on. I felt him nod and pushed me further back on the platform and behind the center curtain without parting from my lips.

I laughed as he tried to help me pry of the robe for curtain call. “Take a break for a sec,” I said laughing and he joined me. He and I both fumbled with the buttons and tossed the hat and robe off stage to reveal the bright pink and sparkly dress for the closing of show.

“I’m impatient. Come back here.”

His hands pulled me back by my waist and pressed a heated kiss on my lips once more. Kissing him felt like time stopping. At first, I didn’t notice the cheering audience as the curtain rose again, and I honestly didn’t care. Han pulled away and smiled at me before doing his bow and then he motioned to me and the audience cheered. We clapped as Bangchan and Seungmin did their bows.

“There’s a party later. Are you going, L/n?”

“Duh. Cast party.”

“You gonna wear that green dress from last time?”

“You gonna wear that suit from last time?”

The entire cast did another bow and the curtain closed fully. When the red fabric touched the floor of the stage the cast and crew went crazy and Jisung wrapped me up in another kiss.

“HEY! NO MAKING OUT ON MY SET!”

“Sorry, Seungmin.”

“THAT DOESN”T MEAN DO IT AGAIN!”

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spine-buster · 6 years ago

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Alone, Together | Chapter 15 | Morgan Rielly

A/N: Thanks to everyone who told me / reported / helped with the plagiarism fiasco on AO3. It was very much appreciated since I don’t have an active AO3 account. Please, if you see my work copied anywhere, let me know! For now, I am only posting this story to Tumblr. I might decide to post to AO3 in the future, just so this never happens again. I’ll let you know if/when I do.

Still loving all the Mo/Bee canon questions. Keep them coming! And if you haven’t seen, I’ve posted the playlist link for Spotify. I’m working on the YouTube version.

Anyways, it’s Christmas in June! Merry Christmas!

Since knowing Angie, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day had grown to be Bee’s favourite days. It wasn’t because of the small gifts her family gave to her, or because she got to stuff her face with amazing food. It was because Angie’s younger brother, Joshua, would set up board games for the family to play on Christmas Eve before they went to midnight mass at their local Catholic Church, and then he’d put funny IOUs in everybody hand knit stockings (that he knit himself) on the fireplace mantle. It was because Angie’s family had a cozy wood-burning fireplace at their house that her dad would roast chestnuts in while her mom opened the tub of ice cream and scooped some out for everyone even after their enormous meal. It was because their family dog, an old Cavalier King Charles spaniel named Sarah Jessica Barker (yes, really) would curl up on Bee’s lap as the family watched whatever movie was on TV.

Angie’s house, for however much it was not Bee’s home, felt like her natural home. Besides her old apartment, it was where she felt most at ease, where she could kick her feet up, fall asleep on the couch, go into the fridge whenever she was hungry, and drop in whenever she wanted. There was always room for her. There was always space.

When she arrived with Angie and Mason on the morning of Christmas Eve, Rocco and Clarette welcomed her with open arms and warm hugs. Their house was decorated with all of Joshua and Angie’s old Christmas artwork from grade school, poinsettia tablecloths, and figurines on Santas, snowmen, penguins, polar bears, and more. It sort of looked like Christmas threw up, but Bee loved it. She loved how festive Clarette got and she loved how Rocco just let her decorate the house however she wanted.

“How are yooooooouuuuuu,” Clarette cooed as she let go of her tight hug, her French Canadian accent music to Bee’s ears. “I haven’t seen you in such a long time! Angie told me you finally finished school.”

“I did!”

“And your graduation? When is your graduation so we can book the day off?”

“Mom, you’re both retired. You don’t need to book off anything,” Angie deadpanned.

Bee giggled. “It’s not until June, Clarette,” she informed her. “You still have a lot of time.”

“What about jobs now? Are you going to join Angie at Indigo?” Rocco joined in. His voice was stern and serious, but Bee knew he was a complete softie who talked to the dog in a baby voice.

“I don’t think they’d allow that. They’d destroy the place,” Mason piped up.

“She’s in finance Rocco,” Clarette chastised her husband. “She’s gonna handle our retirement savings. Right mignonette?”

“Sort of.”

“Well come in, come in. Go drop your stuff off in your room,” Clarette encouraged. “I’m going to make some tea. You want your Earl Grey? Rocco knows how to make a London Fog now. We got a new machine. Angie, tell Joshua dad is making London Fogs for everyone.”

Rocco and Clarette’s house was everything that Bee envisioned a family house to be. It was a side split in the suburbs with three bedrooms on the second floor and a room converted to a fourth bedroom on a split level between the main and the basement. It was very homey, not ostentatious in any way, although Rocco and Clarette did invest in some upgrades before they retired, like a new kitchen, a fresh paint job, and some new floors and furniture in the main living areas. It was perfect and modest – what Bee dreamed of when she saw her life ten, fifteen, twenty years from now. It was everything she could want.

Her room was always the fourth bedroom. When Rocco’s father lived with them for two years before he passed away, Bee would just shack up with Angie, but now the room was dedicated to her again. She threw her weekender bag on the bed and plopped down dramatically, taking in the scent of the freshly washed sheets. Clarette had even put a little chocolate on the pillow. She was in heaven.

A slight knock on her door revealed Josh standing in the doorway with a smile on his face. At twenty, he was a tall, lanky university undergrad studying theatre at York University. He wanted to become the next Shakespeare, or at least the next Laurence Olivier. He even had a prop skull on his bedroom desk.

“How’s my favourite Angie friend?” he asked, leaning on the doorframe.

“Your mom’s the best. You know that, right?”

Joshua chuckled. “I do.”

“I hope you kiss her every night.”

“When I make it home,” he winked, waltzing into the room. “Angie told me you’re done with school.”

“I am.”

“So are you going to be able to tell me what a poor starving artist I’ll be once I finish this theatre degree?”

Bee snorted. “You’re going to marry rich, Josh. Remember? You’ll be richer than all of us combined.”

“I don’t think I’ll be richer than everyone,” he said, sitting down on the bed beside her. “A little birdie told me you’re dating a Toronto Maple Leaf.”

She rose from her position dramatically. “Your sister’s got a big mouth.”

“I’m sure Mason appreciates it.”

Bee pushed him over. “You’re fucking gross, Josh.”

“Stop trying to deflect. She told me it’s Morgan Rielly.”

“It is Morgan Rielly.”

“And how’s that going?”

“Fine,” she side-eyed him. “How’s Patrick?”

“Fine,” he gave her the same side-eye. “He’s back home in St. Thomas, but we’re seeing each other Boxing Day.”

“That’s sweet,” she said, and she meant it sincerely. She was glad Joshua found someone that made him happy. “Are you guys gonna join your sister and I at the Eaton’s Centre?”

“We’re going to have brunch first, then we might, depending if we’re in the mood,” he said. “Are you…I mean, how are you feeling about everything that happened?”

Bee knew that Angie would have told her family. She was an extension of the family, so it was only natural. And it was only natural that Josh was worried, that he cared about her and that he wanted to make sure she was okay, since it only happened a month ago. “Better now,” she said, giving him a smile. “I’m living at a new place with a doorman and stuff. It feels much safer. I got some new clothes and a new laptop, and everything’s been good.”

“My parents were really torn up about it,” he revealed. “My dad was ready to hop in the truck and drive down to the Annex. Angie had to stop him. Told him it was already being taken care of.”

“Yeah. Morgan helped a lot,” Bee revealed. “And, um, you know, some of the other Leafs.”

A grin appeared on Joshua’s face. “Look at you. Getting help from the Leafs.”

“Hey kids! London fogs are ready for you!” Rocco called loudly from the kitchen area. “Get ‘em while they’re still hot!”

“C’mon, let’s go,” Josh stood up, extending his arm for Bee and pulling her up from the bed. “Angie told Dad too and he’s gonna interrogate you for the remainder of the day.”

***

Christmas morning was typical of the Favaro household. At around 8:15am, Bee heard Clarette clanking around in the kitchen, preparing a quick breakfast that everyone would eat before they moved on to opening presents. Soon, she heard Josh’s voice helping her out, probably preparing the pot of coffee. Every Christmas morning, he was the designated bacon fryer – a job he took very seriously, since bacon was always the first thing to go.

When Bee emerged from her room, still in her pajamas like everyone else, she got a big hug and a kiss from Clarette. Josh, already too busy with the bacon, pointed at his cheek for her to come over to where he was standing at the stove and kiss him, which she did. Soon enough, Rocco, Angie, and Mason arrived, and everybody did their part to set the table and plate the scrambled eggs and bacon. Rocco slapped Josh’s arm for eating a piece of bacon before everyone else could. Angie almost spilled the entire sugar jar all over the counter.

When breakfast was done, they made their way into the family room to open presents. Sarah Jessica Barker trotted over to the commotion and jumped up onto the armchair Bee was sitting on, snuggling herself into Bee’s side as Mason passed everybody their presents. Bee bought Clarette and Rocco gifts every year despite their insistence that she not, and she also usually bought a gift for Josh.

Clarette and Rocco began unwrapping their gift from Bee at the same time. She got them both books – for Clarette, Elena Ferrante’s Neopolitan novels in her native French, and for Rocco, Warlight by Michael Ondaatje since he wanted to take up reading now that he was retired.

“You’re always so thoughtful, Bee,” Rocco said, smiling at her as he read the book sleeve. “I remember taking Clarette to go see the English Patient when it came out as a movie.”

“I’ve been wanting to read these forever!” Clarette exclaimed as she took the plastic film off. She elbowed her husband next to her on the couch. “You know, because they’re in French they’ll be closer to the original Italian.”

Josh opened his gift too – a mug with a packet of David’s Tea. He drank more tea than the entirety of Britain, so it was only fitting. Bee’s gift to Angie and Mason, S’well bottles, also went over well. Josh got her a floral scarf, which she loved, and she threw it over her shoulders dramatically. Angie and Mason got her a candle and a nice white frame, undoubtedly to put a picture of her and Morgan in for the new apartment. Clarette and Rocco gifted Bee a nice cutting board, knowing how much she liked to cook, and also a gnocchi board that she was super excited about. “From the good Italian supermarket,” Rocco said, nodding his head. “That was probably made by an old nonna somewhere in Italy.”

“I’m gonna use it next week,” she said, her fingertips feeling the grooves, thinking about Morgan’s return to Toronto and how she cold make him homemade gnocchi now. When Bee thought all was said and done, she noticed one more box under the tree that nobody had touched. “What’s this one?” Bee asked, nodding towards the large box.

“Oh honey, that one’s for you,” Rocco said. “Your man friend dropped it off.”

She froze at the mention. She looked to Angie, who was actively avoiding her gaze. “You…you mean Morgan?”

“Mhm,” Rocco nodded his head. Josh handed her the box. “Came yesterday afternoon.”

She gulped. How did he even find the time to drive all the way up to North York to deliver it? What could he have gotten her? She…she didn’t get him anything. She wrote him a nice card and stuffed it into his carry-on as a surprise for him, but she didn’t explicitly buy him a gift for Christmas. She didn’t think he would for her either. She should have known better though. This was Morgan.

Bee ripped open the sides carefully, and in one long stretch, the wrapping paper was pulled back to reveal ‘Mulberry’ on the box. She froze again, her hand resting over the letters. She knew exactly what this was.

She looked up. The entire Favaro family was looking at her. She took a deep breath. She didn’t want to do this in front of them. “Can I…um…can I…”

“You can go to your room if you need to dear. I’ll start the hot chocolate,” Clarette nodded her head. She got up and pointed at all the wrapping paper, then pointed at her husband. “You. Clean that up.”

Bee picked up the box, half-wrapped, and scurried into her designated bedroom, plopping the box down on the bed before closing the door. She took a deep breath before ripping the rest of the paper off. When she opened the box, she lifted up the dust bag and pulled out the Amberley satchel bag in the most gorgeous and perfect oxblood colour. She had seen it with Lucy when they had gone shopping, and Bee had commented on how beautiful it was – the most perfect bag in the world besides the Birkin. Lucy urged her to get it, but there was no way Bee could have justified the purchase after the Chanel bag, the Louis Vuitton bag, and the Yves Saint Laurent bag. Lucy must have told Morgan, because of course she did.

As Bee ran her fingertips over the pristine leather, she noticed two square outlines still in the dust bag. She couldn’t even fully take in the absolute beauty of the bag after noticing them. She set the satchel down gently and dug into the dust bag, pulling out two identical blue boxes with Birks ribbon wrapped around them.

Bee gulped. She had walked by the Birks storefront on Bloor Street West countless times, trying not to ogle the pretty and blindingly shiny diamonds in the window. Now she was holding two boxes from them in her hands. She was going to kill Morgan. Absolutely murder him.

She began to open one, delicately pulling on the ribbon and opening the box to reveal a stunning gold bracelet. Bee’s cheeks flushed as her fingertips felt the pearl and onyx. She tried to imagine it on her wrist – and realistically, she could have just taken it out of the box right then and there and put it on – but for some reason, she didn’t. It didn’t feel real to her; it didn’t feel like it was hers yet. She didn’t get gifts like this. She didn’t get expensive jewellery from boys – from anyone – and it didn’t feel like it was meant for her, although she knew Morgan probably scoured the store or the website for hours looking for the perfect gift.

The second box. She pulled the ribbon again, opening the box. What she saw inside made her chest tighten fiercely. Tears formed in her eyes automatically. A beautiful, delicate necklace, in matching gold, with a bumblebee medallion. For her. Bee.

Morgan’s Bumblebee.

She grabbed her phone and ripped it out of the charging socket before dialling Morgan’s number. As it rang, she barely registered that it was still only about 6am in Vancouver and he probably wasn’t even awake yet.

“Mornin’,” he mumbled into the phone, not bothering to say hello. “Merry Christmas.”

“Morgan…” she began, her voice cracking.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his tone immediately switching. The last time he got an unexpected phone call from her and she sounded like this, it wasn’t exactly the best.

“I’m fine,” she clarified, wiping a tear from her cheek. “But what’s wrong with you?”

“What?”

“You’re nuts, Morgan. Absolutely nuts,” she continued. “This is a $1500 dollar bag. More, I think.”

“Yeah, so?”

“I can’t accept this!”

“Wait, what? Is it the wrong one? Lucy said you loved it in the store!” he got worried.

“Morgan…I love it, it’s gorgeous, it’s the most perfect bag ever created aside from the Hermes Birkin, but I cannot accept this as a gift.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a $1500 bag!”

“I feel like we’re going around in circles here,” he admitted. “That’s the bag you liked, right? Lucy was adamant that that’s the one you liked. The colour and everything.”

“Morgan, it is, but --”

“The bag isn’t even the important part,” he interrupted her. “Did you find the jewellery?”

“Yes,” Bee said, and at the mention of the jewellery, new tears fell down her cheeks. “Morgan, why are you like this?” she asked, not knowing how to word it in any other way.

“Briony…”

“Why are you so nice to me? Why do you buy me nice gifts all the time?” she asked, trying not to let her voice crack.

“Bumblebee,” he began, his voice sombre. “How many times do I have to tell you that you deserve it?” he asked rhetorically.

“You know that you don’t need to like…buy my relationship, right?” she asked. “I’m not some girl that needs to be bought. I’d still be with you if you weren’t a rich hockey player. I’d still like you and still cook for you. I came from absolutely nothing and I can go back to nothing. I’d give all that stuff back if I had to.”

“I know Bumblebee, I know. But I’m gonna keep repeating it until it gets to you. You deserve nice things. I want to spoil you because you deserve it, not because I’m trying to buy you or anything. You. Deserve. Nice. Things. For. Once. In. Your. Life.”

Bee tried to take his words to heart, but it was hard. It was hard to take to heart when she wasn’t used to it. It was hard to take to heart when growing up, Christmases and birthdays weren’t celebrated because it wasn’t affordable. It was hard to take to heart when since sixteen years old she had been literally counting pennies to stay afloat. Most importantly, it was hard to take to heart when her mother told her she didn’t deserve anything. “Thank you Morgan. I really…I really love the bumblebee necklace.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah,” she said, wiping away the last of her tears. “It’s beautiful. I’m gonna think of you whenever I see it or touch it.”

“Good,” he said. “My Bumblebee.”

There was a moment of silence. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

“Um, what you got me Friday night was enough,” he said, chuckling slightly.

Thoughts of that night came rushing back to her and she felt a shiver go up her spine. It was probably the best sex she’d ever had. Memories of it still flashed through her mind from time to time. If she got lost in her thoughts, she could still feel Morgan pounding into her or pulling her hair. She still had the marks on her ass to remind her too. “Yeah. That…that was good,” she said quietly, trying not to get too riled up thinking about it.

“When I come back, I wanna fuck you wearing only that necklace,” he said in an equally quiet voice. His tone sent more shivers down her spine. “Unless you have some other pieces you’re waiting to surprise me with…”

She smiled. She thought about some of the other sets of lingerie she bought and wondered how he would react to them. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

He groaned in response. She giggled and he groaned some more. “You’re such a fucking tease. Fuck. I woke up hard dreaming about what I’m going to do to you when I get back.”

“This is the Lord’s Day,” she joked. “I don’t think he appreciates your dirty mind or you getting hard the morning of his birthday.”

He groaned even louder and she let out a heart laugh. “Don’t remind me. We still have to go to Church.”

“Will I be able to talk to you later today?” she asked.

“Absolutely,” he said. “After my wine drunk nap I take after lunch, I’ll call you. So maybe three or four my time.”

“Okay,” she agreed. “Merry Christmas, Morgan.”

“Merry Christmas, Briony.”

She paused before hanging up the phone, wondering if there was anything else to say.

***

The Eaton’s Centre was packed. Bee tried to get Angie to wake up on time so they could at least get there at mall opening, but Angie was a bitch in the morning and liked to sleep in, so they were late. It was 10am by the time they arrived, and shoppers were in full swing. Angie was doing a majority of the shopping anyway; Bee didn’t exactly need anything more. Maybe she’d pick up a book or two.

But first, coffee.

As they stood in line in the Starbucks at Indigo, Bee looked down at her phone to field some more messages from another round of bots that seemed to have infiltrated her Instagram. She began automatically deleting the messages until one message in particular caught her eye.

R u dating morgan rielly? Do I have ur attention now? U didn’t answer me last time.

She furrowed her eyebrows. Who was this person? She clicked on the profile, but whoever it was had it on private; the only thing Bee could see was a half-face selfie of a girl who looked five years younger than she did with false lashes and lipstick. She went back to her inbox, deciding not to delete the message. Instead, she took the opportunity to actually read what was being sent to her. It became adamantly clear to her these accounts weren’t bots.

If you’re dating Morgan shouldn’t you be prettier and skinnier? Sent from a girl with a bikini shot as her profile picture.

are the leafs wags as nice as everyone says? i wanna become one who is single? Sent from a girl who didn’t look older than 12.

Cut your hair. It doesn’t look good.

Do you really think Morgan doesn’t cheat on you when they’re on the road? Hockey guys have bunnies in every city.

Ur just a puckbunny wanting morgan’s money. stay away from him!!!!!!!!!!

You’re such a slut. Stay away from Morgan.

Just another puckbunny making her way around the leafs. You are pathetic.

“Grande caramel macchiato with coconut milk for Briony!”

So u go to u of t and u think ur smart? Whatever bitch

What does Rielly see in you? You’re so ugly

“Bee, you should grab your drink before someone else steals it.”

Why don’t u post pics w morgan

Can you please post pics with morgan so we can see

Why are you so close with some of the wags but not with others?

I hope u know morgan prob just keeps you around as a fuckbuddy. He’s got them all over the city. There were hundreds of girls before you, and there will be hundreds of girls after you. Actually, there are prob hundreds of girls DURING you too.

“BRIONY!” Angie’s voice screaming her name pulled her out of her trance. When she looked up, Angie was holding both their drinks, shoving her caramel macchiato towards her. “What’s so important on your phone?”

“N-Nothing,” she said, locking her screen and shoving her phone into her jacket pocket.

“Did Morgan send you a dick pic?”

“Can you not?” Bee slapped the arm of her best friend. “You’re so crude. You’re just like your brother.”

“Well, same genes and all.”

“Where are we going first?” Bee changed the subject.

“We need to go to Sephora. If the Nars Sheer Glow is as good as you say it is then I need to get some.”

As Briony followed Angie around in Sephora, she tried to get rid of the thoughts swirling around her head about the messages from the random girls. She assumed this is what Morgan meant when he said some Leafs fans could be crazy and obsessive. But were these fans? Or did these girls just want to hook up with Morgan?

As Angie chatted with a Sephora consultant about her foundation shade, Bee took out her phone again to see the rest of the messages that were sent to her. A lot of them were variations of the messages she had read earlier. Some accounts had even messaged her multiple times.

Can u pls post pics with mo where u show his face pls ppl are wondering if ur dating him and we need to know

Aren’t you a little too fat to be a wag?

What’s stephh lachancee like in person shes so pretty

Ur a puckslut. Ur only after Mo’s money. U should be ashamed of urself

Everybody knows you’re dating Morgan so there’s no point in hiding it anymore. The more you deny it the more we’re gonna message you. Just post a pic with him already. Get over yourself. You’re such an attention seeker by NOT posting a pic with him and it’s honestly ridiculous. Stop lying and stop trying to play coy.

Bee mostly wondered where these people got the audacity to send her such messages. She didn’t understand why they were being so hostile, and why they wanted information about something that was so clearly private. Did they just think she would message them back? That she’d reveal juicy, salacious details about their relationship? That she’d send them pictures of Morgan that were on her camera roll? What exactly did they want?

As she started to delete all the messages, she heard giggles and saw two girls out of the corner of her eye. They were whispering to each other something Briony couldn’t hear because of all the commotion in Sephora, but then she swore, she swore she heard the iPhone camera shutter sound. She looked up immediately to see the girls giggling at something on the phone they were looking at. The phone wasn’t in her direction, but Bee got self-conscious. When they both looked up from the screen at the same time and noticed Bee staring at them, they stopped giggling.

“Are you taking a picture of me?” she asked.

The one girl, with the phone in her hand, looked like a deer caught in the headlights. It was her friend that came to her rescue when she piped up, “No no! We’re not! We just love your Chanel bag.”

Bee looked down at the bag, the one Morgan had technically paid for, with pearls adorned all over it, the logo still shining against the leather and satin material. She looked back up at the girls, who were still looking at her. “Um, thanks?” Bee didn’t know what else to say.

“Where’d you get it?” the one with the phone asked. These girls weren’t older than sixteen.

Bee gave her a look. “At Chanel…?” her response came out more as a question than a statement. Where else would she buy a Chanel bag?

“Right. Of course. Sorry if we…we just really liked your bag,” they scurried away, looking mortified but still smiling at each other as they ran out of Sephora, looking down at the girl’s phone.

“Bee?! Where’d you go? I found the shade!” Angie’s voice called from the next aisle, her head slightly above the top shelf. “Come here!”

Bee returned to the Nars aisle, and saw that the beauty expert had matched her skin tone perfectly. “That looks amazing, Angie.”

“Where’d you go?” Angie asked, grabbing the foundation from the beauty expert and putting it in her basket.

“I just had teenage girls take a picture of my bag,” Bee said, shaking her head in disbelief still that it had happened. “That was…I’ve never had that happen to me before.”

Angie shrugged her shoulders. “It is a nice Chanel bag.”

#morgan rielly #morgan rielly imagine #morgan rielly fic #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #nhl imagines #nhl fic #hockey imagine #hockey fic #alone together series

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bbydemjin · 5 years ago

Text

a shitty harry styles and david mazouz fanfic: chapter 1

this is all a joke, please don’t take any of this seriously. i made this for a joke for my friends and for some reason i have decided to post. be grateful.

My alarm clock let out a screech of agony as it woke me from my crack induced slumber. I lifted my head from my pillow and opened a single eyeball to view the shitty display of the digital alarm clock I brought from the Khanvenience Store that I spotted when I visited Small Heath to see if the Peaky Blinders were still around. Fuck, it was nine o clock! I leapt out of the bong littered heap of teenage odour I called a bed and rushed into the bathroom. I twisted my knee-length brown locks into a messy bun on top of my hair and gazed into the mirror. I was ugly- anyone could see that. My pointed nose, full lips and cheekbones so sharp that l accidentally killed my dad when he cut himself trying to kiss me goodnight at age 8. I was as plain as could be. The worst was my eyes: emerald green, blue if you looked at them in the sun, blood-red if you looked at them in Hell and surrounded by the souls of the Wronged. Men wrote poems about my eyes. I retched from the sight of them and pulled on a loose baggy sweater I nicked from Primark and went down the stairs, careful not to wake my alcoholic stepdad. As I walked over to the front door, my mum screamed at me from the kitchen. “MAEVE YOU FUCK, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING BLACK TAR HEROIN IN THE FUCKING LIVING ROOM”. I flinched slightly and let out a small whimper and scuttled out of the house like the measly rat I am. I ran all the way to school, scared of being late, though as I walked into the school gates, no one seemed to give a fuck because the whole ‘being late thing’ was a shitty plot device used by the writer because she is tired, writing this at midnight and has no other way to introduce Love Interest 1.

I ran down the hallway, my bag the size of a small bag thumping against my ribs because I have a BMI of -5 and am unhealthily skinny to appeal to the paedophiles on Tumblr reading this. Suddenly, I collided into a large object with an exact height of 5ft 9”, the weight of 74kg and shoe size of 10(US). I looked up and met the eyes of someone I had never seen before. They were green. I thought they were sexy. They happened to belong to a boy that I had somehow never met despite being in this school for years now. He was dressed in black (more specifically the black suit Harry wore for the 2019 Met Gala but he does not get dress coded despite being in a generally conservative high school somewhere in Michigan). “H-hi”, I stuttered, focusing my emerald green eyes on the conveniently placed pile of dog shit across the hallway (we are in Michigan remember). “Oh hi”, the brunette boy answered, giving a small smirk. “Sorry, for bumping into you,'' I mumbled, tugging the sleeves of my jumper down nervously. “No problem”, he grinned, “my name is Harry Styles, I’m new here” “My name is Maeve” “Nice to meet you Maeve”, he chucked, “do you know where Room 34 is? I have maths in there” “Oh, yeah, that’s mine. I’m going there anyway”.

Me and the green-eyed, brunette male with the shoe size 10 (US) walked through the halls, silently. I wasn’t like other girls, I physically could not talk to boys. I once had a spastic attack when a boy asked me if he could copy my homework. I went to a doctor but I couldn’t afford the 5 grand consultancy fee. I opened the door to our classroom and walked in and sat down, with no reaction from the teacher despite literally being two hours late. Harry took a seat right next to me, also with no reaction from the teacher. I ignored him and did my work. Suddenly, a piece of paper landed on my desk. I opened it and, in handwriting that looked like someone had put ink on a spider’s legs and watched it die on the paper, it said the words “dumb bitch whore slut cunt piece of shit dickhead prick absolute fucking spastic retarded asshole smartass dumbass fuckass piece of honky donkey doodle shite GO KYS!!!!1111”. I looked back and saw Satan herself grinning at me. Her long blonde hair and pale Aryan skin glowed as she let out a cackle at my face. She was Stacy Smith, my childhood bully for as long as I can remember. On my first day of school, I accidentally called her autistic instead of artistic and the Aryan bitch has hated me ever since. I turned back around angrily. I heard that bloke Harry whisper to me. “Maeve are you okay?”

I, on the verge of tears, stormed out of the classroom and into the men's bathroom. I wept loudly in front of the mirror, scaring off some twig limbed boy using the urinal next to me. I heard loud footsteps behind me, ones that could only belong to a size 10(US) foot. Harry put his medium-sized hand on my bony shoulder. “Maeve, what’s the matter?” “That blonde cunt Stacy Smith threw some paper at me that said I was a dumb bitch whore slut cunt piece of shit dickhead prick absolute fucking spastic retarded asshole smartass dumbass fuckass piece of honky donkey doodle shite” “What? That’s horrible!” “I know-” “But it wasn’t Stacy that threw it” “What?” “It was this other boy in front of you that threw that paper of your desk” “Who was it?” “I’m not sure, I literally got here approximately nine minutes ago. But he was short, scrawny and had matted curly hair. His kneecaps looked tasty.” Then, it hit me who he was describing. He was known across the school for his crimes: bullying, threatening, kidnapping (free my mans starlit rn), murder, musical theatre. Before I could say anything, a dark figure appeared in the bathroom doorway. The shitty flickering light of the budget cut affected bathroom illuminated his features and my worst fears were confirmed. The long stick figure of the one and only Mazodave stood in front of me.

#harry styles #shitpost #david mazouz #fanfic #fanfiction #harry styles x oc #harry styles fanfiction #david mazouz fanfiction #harry styles fanfic

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gontagokuhara · 6 years ago

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you should tell us abt ur fangan kids!

ive been meaning to answer this but itz long so i wanted to put it under a cut!!

hibiki (he/they) is the ultimate demolitionist! i cant draw but his design and whole aesthetic is literally just. minecraft creepercore. they’re 4′10″, they wear full-eye black contacts bc Crepper Aesthetic, and he just. likes to blow shit up. he’s the rival in my group killing game and i love him SO much

yuri (he/him) is 100% my kinnie oc as the ultimate camp counselor. despite being very good at what he does (duh), he hates it. the responsibility of having to maintain the fun and safety of a bunch of kids is shaving years off his lifespan. and, amazingly for him, he immediately gets assigned Group Dad against his will during the killing game. he also carries at least four fanny packs at all times, each containing snacks and capri suns, first aid supplies, arts and craft supplies, and a fucking tazer (which he usually threatens to use against hibiki).

kimi (she/her) is the ultimate candy maker! her entire aesthetic is cotton candy, in which her hair is dyed blue and pink, she likes soft, puffy clothing, and she’s just a really sweet (ha) person in general! she gets along with most all of her classmates bar a few. she has lesbian disease also

miyah (she/her) is the ultimate witch, which sounds really cool, until she opens her mouth and you realize she’s the crystal-wielding, essential oil-drinking, anti vax queen you were warned about. she’s very sweet and very soft spoken, and genuinely tries to be kind to everyone, but she’s very much a you love her or hate her kind of personality.

koya (they/them) is the ultimate swashbuckler! swashbucklers are a hero archetype defined by flamboyant movement, sword-wielding, chivalry, and daring adventures. koya is a sea-faring spirit, and they fill their time in the killing game enthralling the others with stories of grandeur and convincing all of their classmates that they are a legit pirate. koya is a liar, they exaggerate…a lot, but their intentions are not malicious and their tales just come out a bit more romantic than they actually happened. they’re very charming and laid back, and they’re definitely the sort of heartthrob character that everyone wants to smooch.

chieko (they/them) is the ultimate girl gang leader, and they are also ultimate lesbian. they’re sort of isolated from the rest of the group due to their talent being considered scary, and their very intense and intimidating appearance and personality. they’re major concern is to escape the killing game and find their way back to their girls (they say as much, which makes everyone VERY suspicious!) but they wouldnt hurt anyone and they end up becoming best friends with yuri and masako (who i’ve lovingly dubbed the parent squad of this class)

speaking of masako (she/they), she is the ultimate investigative journalist, and this killing game’s trial helper! she is very well traveled, and takes what she does very seriously. they are completely and utterly devoted to the truth, good or bad, they will find the truth. they absolutely detest koya for this reason; even little lies absolutely grind masako’s gears. she also is very distrustful, and she doesn’t trust anyone at the onset of the killing game. it takes her a long time to warm up enough to the protag to share her findings during investigations, and she often comes across as somewhat of a rival during trials due to her critical nature and the way she very blatantly does not trust those around her. nevertheless, later on she is (against her will) forced into the Parent Squad with chieko and yuri, and though she doesn’t trust anyone else, she will do everything in her power to keep more killings from happening.

daichi (he/him) is the ultimate superhero, and he was the first dr oc i actually made!! he’s very much a pretty boy (fluffy blonde hair, pink eyes, freckles, he’s just Cute) and he and hibiki start dating during the killing game! he’s sort of a bastard and won’t give anyone a straight answer on what his superpowers actually are, but despite his kind, cheeky nature, he feels a deep sense of responsibility and guilt over not being able to do anything about the killing game. he is one of the more likely people to go snooping for the mastermind, and he’s gotten in physical fights more than once with people he deems suspicious.

hirohito (he/him) is the ultimate joggler and he’s the greatest character of all time. what is joggling, you ask? don’t worry, he’ll tell you. i came across this while looking for talent ideas, and i laughed so hard i cried when i conceptualized this fiend. he’s very much the token joke character, he’s a hot head, and he’s kind of a dick, but the idea of hope’s peak allowing the ultimate person who can juggle and jog at the same time into their doors is just too hilarious to pass up. protag joggler 4 life

speaking of people who are kind of dicks, meet yuuto (he/him), the ultimate dancer. he’s such a hot head. he hates the most of his classmates out of any other character, including the mastermind. he’s dating the protag, who is one of like…four people he actually likes in his class. yuuto takes his talent very seriously, and spends hours every day working to maintain his status as the best of the best. his talent comes before everything else (or, at least, it did), but if his talent comes first, then the people he cares about take up every other place on the list. he doesn’t tolerate many people, but those he does, he is fiercely loyal towards. he would kill and die for the people he cares about. he is 5′2″ of pure kickass, and he will throw everything he has into defending the people he loves. i lvoe him.

michiko (she/her) is the ultimate influencer (yeah. i know). she’s an internet personality who has followings on instagram, twitter, youtube, tiktok, et cetera. she is also one of my earlier oc designs, and i’m kind of attached to her lol. she’s very naturally magnetic and has a lot of friends among her classmates, but she does have a tendency to get hung up on things like follower counts, conventional beauty, and wealth. she has a huge (mutual!) crush on koya, she’s best friends with hibiki, and she has an intense fear of swimming pools (her hair is dyed, and chlorine is way bad for dyed hair)

leeanne (she/her) is the only non-japanese character, and i. she’s a mess. she’s the ultimate theatre kid, and she’s basically every broadway tumblr user when h*milton was super popular. she complains about musical bootlegs, becries her classmates for not knowing anything about the musicals she stans, and she’s just. lord. obviously she’s a joke character, and she’s honestly a caricature of the kind of shit i got up to (to a degree! don’t call me out sdkjdsjbd) when i was 15 years old. suffice to say, none of her classmates like her very much

tomoya (he/him) is the obligatory ultimate ???, and also our trial ruiner! he earns the distrust of his entire class by keeping his talent a secret and then having it revealed by masako, and as a result he is very outcasted and lonely among his peers. he’s a naturally very reserved person, and his situation lends him to feeling very lonely. most of the class suspect him to be the mastermind – whether they’re right or not, only time will tell.

katsumi (she/her) is 1/3 of what i’ve dubbed the Showbiz Squad as the ultimate pageant queen! she’s been participating in and winning beauty pageants since she was very young, and she’s won all the way up through the pageant ranks. as one would expect she’s very beautiful, and she’s also very bright and charismatic, which lends itself well to gaining allies in the killing game. she is by and large very fake, though, and she operates as a mini antagonist for various reasons.

hikaru (he/him) is another third of the Showbiz Squad, as the ultimate game show host! he’s very ostentatious and charismatic; he’s always ‘on,’ always playing the gracious, enthusiastic host. there’s always a smile and a flashy, charming quip in his mouth, so he can wear very gratingly on the less enthusiastic and personable kids. he definitely would be a tumblr sexyman if he were an actual dr character {sweating emoji]. despite the crowd he seems to gather wherever he goes, no one knows much about him; and he likes to keep it that way.

and finally, the last third of the Showbiz Squad, and also the protagonist: hachi (he/they), the ultimate child star! as their talent would indicate, hachi was a child star, and he absolutely detests the showbusiness world as a result. he really dislike pretty much…everyone who represents that part of his past (katsumi, hikaru, and michiko are prime examples) and his least favorite thing is getting the question: “omg where you in ___?” they’re very emotionally and physically fatigued by all the bullshit going on around them, so they come across as fairly apathetic to most people. but in actuality, hachi is someone who craves stability and kindness, and their extremely blunt, extremely annoyed exterior hides a very soft, compassionate interior. i absolutely adore this character :D

and umm thats it for my kids! i (for the most part?) have all of the killers/victims worked out, i have my mastermind all planned, but i’m still working on a setting/obligatory extra mono-creature/how this group falls within the dr canon. i love talking about these guys so if ur interest in them pwease send me asks/messages about them 🥺

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wintersqueenmab · 6 years ago

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Silly, do all the questions you definitely deleted. All of them.

Well, since you asked so nicely, sure. Under the readmore to save dashboard space.

1. how tall are you?

I’m 5 foot, 9 inches tall, or 175 centimeters for those of you using metric units.

2. what is your body type?

Softer than I’d like, but otherwise pretty standard.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

I do like the color of my eyes, and I think my hands are pretty nice.

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Partially, yes. However, the top of my head is currently a cotton candy riot, so not that part.

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I like to pull off the shy -> outgoing combo for maximum damage.

6. are you more femme or butch?

Being AMAB, I’m pretty sure I’m automatically on the butch side. Not where I’d like to keep it, though.

7. are you tol or smol?

I don’t think 5′9″ is very tall, or very small. The middle it is, then.

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Definitely vodka aunt.

9. weird habit?

Does eating popcorn seeds count?

10. favorite meme?

I’m a sucker for bass boosting in the middle of otherwise normal videos.

11. do you sing in the shower?

Ironically, that’s one of the only places I don’t sing.

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

A couple times, but never in any seriousness.

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

Not currently, but I definitely was in high school. Would love to go back.

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nah, son. Shit’s expensive.

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes, but in a good way.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

Sadly not.

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

“Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.”

18. last movie you watched?

Spider-Man: Far from Home.

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

In front, definitely. Doing theater has shown me that I love being in the spotlight.

20. favorite tv show?

Toss up between Steven Universe and A:tLA.

21. meaning behind your url

Comes from an old username I had a long time ago. I still use Rydyr for most things online.

22. reason you joined tumblr

Kingdom Hearts fandom, then almost immediately comboed into Homestuck.

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

Probably samysticeti.

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Lord of the Rings.

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

Nope.

26. have you had sex?

Sure have.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Yes, several times.

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

I once told my dad that my brother had destroyed my writing journal to get out of writing in it for the day. It worked!

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

Getting to know systems and the best way to exploit them is pretty dang neat.

30. describe your best friend.

Always there for me, even when I don’t want them there. But they know better.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

Now, what makes you think you’ve earned that?

32. how do you feel right now?

Slightly irritated at the amount of formatting work I had to do for this (a lot), but otherwise good. Go listen to Starlight Brigade if you haven’t heard it, it’s fantastic.

33. what is your biggest fear?

Not becoming who I want to be.

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Glory, by Bastille.

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Being more outgoing has, in general, done a ton for me.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

Yeah. That’s life, though.

37. something you fantasize about.

Financial stability, a harem of cuties, being in a harem of cuties. Lots of unattainable goals.

38. last time you cried and why

A while ago, probably over past relationships.

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

A dumb play my friend made in a League of Legends match.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Always.

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Honestly, nobody. Without sounding like an edgelord, there’s a lot I don’t want people to know because they’d just worry.

42. the last time you felt broken?

Last night.

43. are you starting to realize anything

Many, many things.

44. are you more dominant or more submissive

Depends on the context, obviously. I try to be assertive in everyday life, but I think I’m more submissive in the bedroom.

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if you treat me with respect.

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

I don’t have any real preference, but I think I’d feel weird if I dated someone significantly younger than myself.

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

That’s not fair; I have too many crushes to single anyone out. One of the pros/cons of being poly.

48. do you have any kinks?

Look, there’s a whole ass list here. Gotta get more specific.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

Probably their voice if I’m actually interacting with them. If I’m seeing them from afar, it’s their hair.

50. how can someone win your heart?

By being sweet to me.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Of course.

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Tons of times.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

If they were down, yeah.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

Like, do I have trust issues? Not really. Is it a big thing for me in a relationship? Once we hit a certain point, yeah.

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

A couple of them, yeah. Not nearly enough, though.

56. is confidence cute?

It’s fucking sexy.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Good for them! They’re living their best life. Fuck jealousy.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Probably not. I love being with funny people.

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

At least one of them does. I try not to make it a big deal.

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I��ve embarrassed myself in front of my partners more times than I care to count.

61. do you want to get married

Not unless the government gets really cool about a lot of things really quickly.

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Lied to people that trusted me.

63. three things that turn you on.

Confidence, a nice pair of legs, and the ability to take charge.

64. who do you hate?

Nazis.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Stardust.

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

Probably some fucking Homestuck characters, I dunno.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both. Both? Both are great.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

We gotta like the same stuff. Also want to get freaky in the bedroom the same way.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

Sixty-nine, eyyyyy. Uh, all of them.

70. are you good at flirting?

Only when I’m unaware I’m doing it.

71. who was the first person you came out to?

My friends in high school.

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

Yes! Several.

73. is your crush wlw?

Some of them are, yeah.

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

Pretty much literally any attractive person. I think about it a lot.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

I wish you’d know me

As I’ve gotten to know you

See me as I am

76. do you fall in love easily?

Love, no. Infatuation? Almost pathetically so, yeah.

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Boy fucking howdy, yeah.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Extremely. I just wanna be friends with everyone.

80. what is your “type?”

Kind people that can slam me against a wall and make me thank them for the privilege.

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

B O T H

82. tall girls or short girls?

I’d love to be with a girl that just fucking dwarfs me in height.

83. hugs or kisses?

I fucking love hugs. And I’ve had strangers tell me I give great hugs, so I wanna share that with others.

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

Fuck, dude, I’d sure love to get twirled.

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

A tummy kiss that transitions into a big fucking tummy raspberry.

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Neck kisses, hell fucking yeah.

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair, absolutely. Too many people are ticklish.

88. making out or soft kisses?

I don’t understand why I need to choose here. They’re both great in different situations.

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Waist! Easier to pick people up that way.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

I’m pretty confident in my ability to be attracted to nearly anyone that’s nice to me.

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies, with blushing only when I get embarrassed around them.

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

Yes and yes.

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

Well, being AMAB, this was pretty early. It took me a lot longer to accept being into guys.

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

There was this one time I just nerded out about MtG for like ten minutes, and she was just sitting nearby. When I saw her, I almost died.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

Rosemary from Homestuck. It’s so good.

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“Are you sure you can’t just pick one person and stick to them?”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

Like six hours ago.

98. what is love to you?

Love is caring about another person more than yourself. It’s wanting the best for them at all times. It’s being happy when they’re happy and being sad when they’re sad. It’s seeing the universe in their smile, and glimpsing eternity in how they make you feel.

99. ask me anything.

Well, this sure is awkward. If you read all this, congrats! You know more about me now than my own parents probably do. Have a great night, everyone.

#me #ask meme #99 questions #this was fun to do

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the-fiction-witch · 6 years ago

Text

The time has come ... For a little

Real life story time

This post is going to feature two stories from our real life's that... We have both decided to finally tell to all of you.

Warnings : sadness, rape, self harm, and many other horrible things

Amber's story:

I have decided to tell this story as a bit of an insight perhaps into how I got the way I am, how I turned what was a horrible experience into fuel to create and become better as a person, because I realized with our little baby on the way it's time I stop letting this thing that happened have so much power over me and if I share it with you all, it has no power to hurt me anymore.

Okay, here we go...

This takes place when I was 13, the year was 2014 and it was January, I had been back at school maybe two or three weeks from the Xmas break when I had been away with visiting family and over the break I had put on a little extra weight and when I was 13 I was still like waiting for a growth spurt so I was kinda short and chubby. Important to not for the story I was a massive theatre kid mostly musical theatre, I was in every school production they ran. Now it's probably a good thing to mention Tommy we where not a couple we had been best friends all though primary school and where still bffs... We where at the point looking back at it, we both kinda liked each other but we where at the age where we didn't realize it yet, it was kinda like the hugs we did since childhood lasted that little bit longer, the coming over to someone's house has a much more ... Kinda romantic energy like before ohh Tommy's coming over cool, now it was ohh Tommy's coming over I should have a bath and out a dress on and we didn't quite realize here that we liked each other.

And what happened was, these boys I can remember each and everyone of them there where three I will use there real names because fuck it I'm not afraid to!

Daniel, Lewis and Harry but for simplicity we will call them the trio

Now they had picked on me since day one of secondary school / highschool, for anything my weight my looks my voice everything... But they way they did that was, to compliment me, funny I know? The world compliment me in a way that you knew it was a joke you knew they where taking the Mick and I had ignored them, until this day.

I was in the drama department it was me, Tommy and our friend James and we where just kinda messing around, my teacher had asked me to clean out the prop room and sort the costume rails for the production of bugsy Malone we where doing at the time and as I was the theatre kid of that year she asked me and Tommy and James both took drama but they did set drama so they where on the production as stage hands and I, Tommy and James we where just kinda messing around taking pictures with funny props and costumes while we where working when we heard the door so looked busy thinking of a teacher had come in but...it wasn't it was the trio

We where all kinda confused because... Like what are you guys doing here? Like what do you want? And they said

"Mr ----(I blanked out the teachers names for privacy) said he needs to talk to Tommy and James about some lighting yells"

So we went ohh Okay and Tommy and James both left and didn't think much about it, I had been sorting the costume rails maybe ten minutes and I noticed like laughing like hushed laughed and I looked and noticed the Harry had put his phone in the end of a prop sword and was filming up my skirt I kicked off and starting yelled and trying to get his phone from him telling them how gross and horrible that was and I remember Daniel who was kinda the leader of the trio told me

"ohh well your always flashing It we wanted a picture"

I of course completely go crazy trying To to hit them and break there phone's I was so angry! And while I was trying to fight somehow the other boys got my arms and Daniel who wasn't holding me told me I was pretty and that they where just joking around like 'ohh the camera wasn't on you freak'

And I remember he told me... 'well you where with Tommy and James so us three shouldn't be a problem it's just one more person to have a turn'

And I didn't know at the time being a little 13 year old didn't understand... What they meant, I do now.

Each of them had there turn with me even if I screamed and kicked and cried all the while one off them would be filming it like passing the phone from each person as they swapped between holding me and being behind me.

And that's how official speaking I lost my virginity.

When they left me there I burried myself in the prop room for ages until James and Tommy got back being like

"we couldn't find Mr----- anywhere when we did he said it was bullshit he didn't need to talk to them"

And I was still crying and tramatised by what had just happened but I didn't tell them I didn't tell anyone about what happened. And my class after that which I did go too still sniffling and just destroyed because of what happened it was English and... I was failing English because I was a terrible speller my handwriting was awful, but the only thing I liked was creative writing just because I liked to make up stories and make up people and I went in and I love this teacher miss Jones loved her to bits because she didn't give a Shit about my spelling my handwriting she just liked me to be involved, as well as being a thertre kid so I was always happy to like read parts when we read books in class, but today was a creative writing lesson and... I remember just sitting there and thinking to myself looking at this blank page like

"how can I write something down given what I have just been thought not even an hour after it"

And I realized, I could take my pain and my sadness and make it creative and I wrote a story about a girl who just wanted to run away from the world and yet every time she ran something she didn't know what would force her back pull her back and it was how she had to go back and find whatever it was pulling her so she could be free and run away, and I read it in class and... Other students where in tears my teacher was in tears, and a week later my teachers made me stand up and read my story infront of my whole year and all there treachers too I even won a creative award for it and... Still as far as I have been told my story from that day still sits on the wall in the English corridor of my school. And I think maybe a few weeks later I got a new Tumblr and I called it whatifwecouldbecomefiction and posted my First story on this site.

I don't know if it's right to say but, in some ways I'm happy about it, it was horrible and some nights it still haunts me but, if I had been happy just coming from being so happy with my Freinds would I be where I am now would I have become the writer I am?

It still hurts but now everyone knows it can't hurt me anymore.

Okay... Tommy's turn.

Thanks honeybug... Now let's get ready for the second horrible show.

Tommy's story

I was sixteen we where in our last year of school and we where in the revision before exams started. I was a .... Ummm horny 16 year old boy, like seriously I had to like wear boxers two sizes to small in the hope it would keep the Bonner I knew I would be getting at school down and away from it like being obvious, and I really really really really really really really liked amber, but... It was a no go because I thought I was deep in the Freind Zone you know we had been bff for over ten years at this point, I was in love but thought no way never gonna happen she's not going to be into me, so I had a kinda second choice girl ... For the sake of her privacy let's call her Lucy she was like your classic, pretty in pick popular girl like a mean girls popular kid, long blonde hair she was cute kinda dumb but cute, anyway I delevoped a little bit of a thing for her obviously my heart was still like amber we love her so much, but... Uhh my dick was kinda like well we will take whatever we can get and we could have that right now soo let's try with that

And one day while we where just chilling I got a FB request from lucy I accepted happily and sort of began like the sort of flirty pokeing and liking on FB for about a month then I got a FB message on messenger from her saying stuff like

Ohh your cute

And we should really chat more

And so I was sort of on the chatting up swing with her and one night she asks me to send her a pic, now I'm not gonna beat around the bush here, I did as she asked and send her little a pic of me in bed shirtless trying to look sexy, she sent like a pic back of her boobs in a tight Shirt and obviously 16 year old Tommy was... Excited and I had a moped and I was like yeah I am totally in she aanyme over I can be over in like give minutes my parents are out you know stars align kinda luck here, this went on for a couple hours of sending pics and little videos back and forth with each other, for examples I sent like pics of me naked, of just my dick, videos of me jerking off, videos with like sounds of like me moaning and stuff like groaning her name and stuff like that because you know that's what she wanted and I got kinda equivalent back I did notice T first the videos didn't have sound which I fought was odd but she said ohh well my mic is broken on my phone and we'll... Little horny Tommy went along with it all anything she wanted and then I noticed a picture she sent me she had sent before like the exact same picture and I asked ohh this is like the same pic

And she deleted it and replaced it which confused me a little and I suddenly realized all the photos where from a gallery not from like taking it and sending it I asked but go nothing back for a few hours it's like really really late now like 1 or 2 am and I started to panic and amber texts me out of the blue and asks

"Tommy I just got like a picture of you, sent to me from an unknown account"

And I looked and it was the picture I took of me in my bathroom mirror naked but like below my hips where cut off in the pic so they had made I so you couldn't see I didn't know what to really do so I deleted like all of my photos I sent all the videos I sent but then Lucy send me a link and I clicked it and it was a live stream that had been posted on all our schools years group chats all the pages send to everyones phones and the stream was a video of all the texts and stuff I had been sending to Lucy been screenshotted all the pics I sent, I was crying at this point and as the stream went on it had the videos in too.

In that moment knowing everyone in my school year had pretty much just seen me naked and touching myself I shut down completely I deleted all my social media blocked pretty much everyone I couldn't from my phone and just took like a week of school because I convinced mum I was sick so I didn't have to go in. I kept getting messages though still from people laughing at me and making fun of me and calling me gross and awful and in my digging I found out the account I had been talking with was fake that Lucy's ex boyfriend had made it using her pics she sent him to basically try to prank people and I fell for it. And he now has all of this stuff of me and he was sending it around to like all the girls in my year all the people we all knew.

I had to go in to school at some point obviously because exam's where coming so I had to go in and everyone just looked at me

like I was a whore,

And everyone called me names and took the piss out of me people like looked me up and down like a stripper and obviously where like showing there Freinds stuff on there phone's and I just tried to run away from everyone I skipped three classes just hidden away behind the out building in just tears and I got sent some messages that basically said

You have to give us money or do our work for us or else... We are making physical copies of the pictures and posting them around school, we will send them to your family in the post, we will send them all to the real Lucy that you like and to amber because we know you have thing for her to

Basically blackmailing me because... What choice did I have they knew where I lived and they had all the pictures and videos they could destroy my whole life if I didn't do as they asked so.

I went home and transfer all the Money I had saved up from my little job that I had been saving for a car and I gave all of it to them. Which was around 300 to 400 pounds

And they messaged me back and said Okay we have taken it down, but now... If you want us to keep our mouths shut about it and clear like the live stream the group chat stuff we need insurance that I'll Keep paying them

So I was like well I've just given you everything I have what more can I do here and I was in again just compele tears at this point and they said they wanted me to go over to one of there houses and basically do photos they wanted to make sure I wouldn't stop paying them because these would be like a million times worse.

And like an idiot I went along with them and did what they wanted me to and these where like, not just ohh embarrassing look a bonner or anything like the first ones there where like if one of these go posted somewhere I would have to like move country I would have my life compeletly destroyed if anyone found out about them.

And I kept slipping school and paying them basically all my work money like my full paycheck went to them as soon as I got it and if it was late they would start like threatening to post them and I had to convince them it was my boss being late and I would have to send them more stuff so they would trust me.

Till one day amber came over and I had been avoiding amber like a plague I didn't want to see her or talk with her just because I was so scared she had seen the stuff and she came over my mum let her in and she came up to my room and I knew she had seen I could just tell by her face and the fact she was looking away from me like avoiding eye contact with me as she was asking how I was with it all I compeletly lied to her and said i was fine, problem was as you can probably guess amber knows me better then that, she knows when I love to her

And I just broke down crying into her arms as we sat up in my room just about everything that had happened and I explained to her everything that happened from my perspective, and I told her about the money and the pictures they made me take at there place just compeletly opened Pandora's box just told her everything her first suggestion was to go to the police I actually love the way she said it too

"does school know?"

"what the hell do they care" "they won't do anything"

"then go over them, Police, a lawyer, a assasin"

It just makes me laugh how she tried to cheer me up when I was just in such a bad place

We went to the police got it all sorted out. And I actually told amber how I felt about her and... Well the rest is history I guess. And still you know this is the only social media I have that I share with amber because I am just terrified of it, and why I don't think I will ever so a face reveal just because I know somewhere on the internet those pictures are still floating around I know they are I've seen them a couple times, and I'm terrified someone will recognise me, which is part of why as much as it broke my heart I moved away from amber for uni because I just wanted to go somewhere where knowone knee about what happened .

And that's our little stories about the horrible things that have happened to us, I think having told it to you guys makes me feel so much better I can tell we both feel better for telling the stories rather then keeping them as this big secret, and now hopefully having been together so long and now with our little baby on the way, we can both kinds say yeah Shi happened but it's behind us both now and we have a great future to look forward to with little melody.

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maplestreetsims · 6 years ago

Photo

get to know me tag!

so, i came to catfish you all with my updated simself, also i made her with alpha cc bc why not?

I saw @galaxsims did this and i thought it might be fun, so the point of this is to make a simself and answer some q’s so people get to know you better

I’m going to tag anyone who wants to do this, Just go crazy

- trash under cut -

1. What is your full name? Constanza

2. What is your nickname? most people call me coti, i had a few friends that called me constance tho

3. Birthday? July 1, 2000

4. What is your favorite book series? i dont read as much as i used to so i dont have one

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? aliens yes, ghosts...maybe? just for the spookines of it all tbh

6. Who is your favorite author? i dont read dont come for me

7. What is your favorite radio station? i never listen to the radio, mostly spotify

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? anything cheese flavored, or like pizza? idk im thinkin chips here

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? amazing, cool!

10. What is your current favorite song? literally queens entire discography??? like i saw bohemian rhapsody last week, i liked queen before but now im like on hyperdrive or something

11. What is your favorite word? chaos

12. What was the last song you listened to? Somebody to love, by (you guessed it) queen

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? hmm... i dont know, skam, maybe freaks and geeks

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? pride (2014) always makes me feel happy when i watch it, i really like it

15. Do you play video games? yes

16. What is your biggest fear? Ending up alone, but not romantically, more of like no friends, or family

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? i dont know... i just try to be a good person?? like i put myself in others peoples shoes and treat them how i would like to be treated i guess, bc i know how its like being treated like shit and i wouldnt want that for anyone lol

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my socializing skills? or lack thereof

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? i like them both the same

20. What is your favorite season? i dont like any season sjdjsdk

21. Are you in a relationship? nope

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? just.. happiness?? not only my own but like everyone in my family (yikes) also my innocence

23. Who is your best friend? haha ha

24. What is your eye color? brown

25. What is your hair color? Dark brown

26. Who is someone you love? no one honestly, maybe my pets?

27. Who is someone you trust? literally anyone who is nice to me, that’s bad

28. Who is someone you think about often? my friends, classmates

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? nothing currently

30. What is your biggest obsession? The sims, life is strange and detroit become human.....also queen?, weird combinations

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Art attack! also the cocodrile hunter??? that was my shit!!

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? I know i just said i trust everyone but like....i dont open up, like ever

33. Are you superstitious? No

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? Elevators?? and cars...are those phobias?

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind

36. What is your favorite hobby? Editing, playin sims... u know

37. What was the last book you read? I cant remember fghjkljhg probably something for school

38. What was the last movie you watched? Bohemian rhapsody rip

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? i wish i could play any musical instrument, but i suck tbh

40. What is your favorite animal? cats and dogs™

41. What are your top 5 7 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

@pollinationqueen @cosmic-espie @omiscanking @bloomlet @gunthermunch @cowberrys and @mellocakes ♥♥

42. What superpower do you wish you had? telekinesis??? um hell yeah why would anyone want anything else

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? this is weird but when im riding the bus home, listening to music

44. What makes you smile? my simblr, youtube videos...

45. What sports do you play, if any? i wish

46. What is your favorite drink? coca cola beech!

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? I dont even remember, but i had to write something like that around this year at least

48. Are you afraid of heights? yes

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? it used to be hearing people chew, but i think im over it

50. Have you ever been to a concert? no, never

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? No

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? a vet

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? idk sis

54. What is something you worry about? my future, and my life

55. Are you scared of the dark? sometimes

56. Do you like to sing? yes, only when im alone

57. Have you ever skipped school? yeah, but i tried not to, it felt like i was missing out and that kinda made me feel like shit??

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? i dont think i have one, but more like a bunch of them? and only at specific times if that make sense, like the outside of that theater at nightime when i went to see a play with my friends a while ago

59. Where would you like to live? mmm maybe the usa? or anywhere where i could get to speak english all the time

60. Do you have any pets? a cat and a dog, Mercury and Candy!

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Night owl, def

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets, im never up for sunrises anyways, unless i stayed up all night

63. Do you know how to drive? no but i hope that i do at some point, although im scared of cars

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones

65. Have you ever had braces? nope, my teeth are as straight as me

66. What is your favorite genre of music? rock, indie...maybe pop rock?

67. Who is your hero? i dont have one

68. Do you read comic books? not really

69. What makes you the most angry? myself sometimes

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real book all the way, when i do read that is

71. What was your favorite subject in school? cinematography class???? idk how it translates properly but that was my fave, although the teacher fucking ruined it for all of us tbh

72. Do you have any siblings? nope

73. What was the last thing you bought? a bus ticket

74. How tall are you? 4′9...yikes

75. Can you cook? not at all

76. What are three things that you love? this blog, my family and my pets

77. What are three things that you hate? hooo boy

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? i have 0 friends what does that mean? jk i actually would say its pretty equal

79. What is your sexual orientation? yes

80. Where do you currently live? Uruguay, montevideo

81. Who was the last person you texted? my dad

82. When was the last time you cried? last week

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? jenna and julien, and probably every sims youtuber(seriously)

84. Do you like to take selfies? not so much

85. What is your favorite app? tumblr, or youtube

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? its alright

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? portugeese

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? mmm all of them

89. What is your favorite number? 7

90. Can you juggle? Nop

91. Are you religious? no

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? The ocean

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? hahah no

94. Are you allergic to anything? i used to be allergic to a bunch of shit when i was a kid but im not allergic to it anymore?? like chocolate, oranges....cats, and dust

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? Yes

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? always hopefully

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Forest

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? i dont really ask for advice that often so...idk

100. Are you a good liar? No, but i try

101. What is your Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff

102. Do you talk to yourself? i used to talk to myself all the time, but now i barely do it, thats a good thing right?

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no, i used to when i was a kid but it was pure garbage

105. Do you believe in second chances? Depends

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? look for an id to see if i cant turn it in, if not....well

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes, but only in certain things

108. Are you ticklish? i dont even know, probably not

109. Have you ever been on a plane? no

110. Do you have any piercings? yeah, my ears

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? idk

112. Do you have any tattoos? No, but hopefully i will some day!

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? i dont know....

114. Do you believe in karma? yeah

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? no

116. Do you want children? yeah why not

117. Who is the smartest person you know? honestly i don’t know

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? doing a cindirella theatre play for my school when i was 12, i was cindirella, i dont wanna talk about it njxkcfxf

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? not that i remember, i always end up falling asleep, dosent matter if its like 10 minutes

120. What color are most of you clothes? green.........i dont even like green

121. Do you like adventures? yeah maybe, depends on what it is

122. Have you ever been on TV? yeah i have actually lmao, it was on a kids tv show

123. How old are you? 18

124. What is your favorite quote? “We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents”

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory!!

#tag game #saviorhide #me stuff #non sims #simself #get to know me tag

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professordrarry · 7 years ago

Note

I’m so glad that I know you! You make me smile always!!!! Jessie Ware - Alone Either of our slash boys!

For my bestie, JLPierre, the most supportive and lovely of humans, there with me since the beginning of my Tumblr journey. I’m sorry this got so long 😂 Jessie Ware - Alone Together, Wolfstar or Drarry

“Say, I won’t make the same mistakes when we’re older/

Cause I want you on my skin and my bones/

Knocking me off my feet…

never need somebody else to call my name

No, I don’t want somebody else….“

Remus stalked across to the bar, senses heightened, hyper-aware of three things: first, that the music in this place was perfect. Heart-stoppingly loud, rhythmic and sort of frightening, drowning out the ability to think or feel or experience anything except the pounding beat.

Second, he was incredibly overdressed for this experience, in a button up with a sweater vest hastily thrown on top, corduroys that were at least half an inch too short, and shoes that had quite possibly formerly been Peter’s — meaning they were too small and also irreparably scuffed.

Third, and possibly most important, he was extremely, entirely, altogether too worried about Sirius in this moment. Which Sirius would definitely pay for once Remus was no longer concerned for his physical and mental safety.

When he finally managed to track his way across the floor to the bar, flag down a cute-but-not-overly-intelligent bartender, Remus had officially become Worked Up. His first three attempts to inquire about Sirius led to confused glares. Finally, he used his height for good, leveraged himself across the bar and managed to whisper into the bartender’s ear.

“Short bloke, very little clothing, magnificent hair. Tattoo across his collar bones,” Remus shouted.

Finally, the bartender smiled. Obviously, Sirius had frequented this flat expanse many times that evening, and Remus grew more worried. Sometimes when Sirius got like this he didn’t actually drink. Those nights were far easier and less physically demanding. Remus sighed as he followed the point. He found that it just directed him towards a large tangle of barely dressed men gyrating in a large mass on the dance floor.

Remus swerved and looped between them, moving his hips when necessary, encountering more than one friendly grope, stretching just out of reach of a near orgy level group near the middle until he found the constantly spinning form of one Sirius Black.

He moved closer and shouted into his ear from behind, hoping to scare him.

“Do you know what time it is?”

He hoped he sounded angry but he suspected he just sounded loud.

Sirius didn’t even flinch. He leaned back into Remus’ chest and nuzzled at his ear.

“So you changed your mind?” he shouted back. “That’s good. I was beginning to think I would have to go home alone.”

Remus pushed him off. “No you idiot, I came to make sure you weren’t dead!”

Sirius shrugged and whirled around, exposed hips gyrating as the beat changed again. The shift of his skin under the lights, pale and almost shimmering, darkening where a trail of soft hair met his trouser button. The rise of his barely-present shirt dragging Remus’ eyes to the dark and indecipherable edge of his rib tattoo, a thin line of ink that seemed meaningless. His hair was drawn back and soaking, a thong of leather pulling the curls into a barely contained mess at the base of his neck. He had his eyes closed as his arms swung above his head.

Remus was temporarily distracted from his anger by the overwhelming sensation of possessive jealousy. Sirius looked gorgeous, but what was worse was that he very aware that everyone saw his sultry gorgeousness. If Sirius had intentionally preened, he couldn’t have looked more self-satisfied. Remus wanted to growl and grab him by the wrist, get him away from leering eyes but he clenched his fists and turned to walk away.

His hips were suddenly wrenched into a grasp, his arse pulled, arms circling his neck and making him feel suffocated.

“So you really just are going to leave me here. Here, with all these men,” Sirius’ voice said in his ear. It was probably meant to be sultry and deep, but the shout necessary ruined the effect and Remus pushed away again.

“I wish you’d just be angry,” Sirius screamed. “Fucking punch me or some shit. Stop walking away.”

“You’re drunk, Black. What would be the point?” Remus answered, walking away backwards.

Sirius’ face fell; Remus’ words had had their desired effect. He followed behind as Remus turned and shoved his way back off the dance floor. When they finally made it out of the crowded centre, Remus barely paused long enough to check that he still had company before he pushed open the door, into the city evening and feeling immediately bereft and broken from the silence and the loss of the beat shaking his bones. He had to fight the urge to just go back inside, strip off his vest and ignore every problem for the sake of having his thoughts drowned out for an hour or two.

“Don’t call me that. Ever again,” Sirius hissed loudly, hours of being in the noise making his voice loud and harsh.

“What… Black? It’s your name, isn’t it?” Remus replied, a biting spit of words that dragged his anger back to the surface.

“Only when I mess everything up,” Sirius said, tugging ineffectually at the hem of his too short t-shirt.

“Just drop the melodramatics, Sirius. Seriously. We’re nearly 25… How much longer do you plan on running off into a night of binging every time you are slightly uncomfortable?”

“Rem, do you think you can just take me home?” Sirius murmured, suddenly sounding soft and wounded, exhausted and ancient.

Remus anger melted in the look of vulnerable wounded pride on Sirius’ face, and he dropped his eyes to the pavement.

“Do you think you can do that for me?” Sirius added. “I would promise to stop being an asshole but —”

“Don’t ever promise that, Pads. We wouldn’t recognize you,” Remus said, allowing a slight smile that shifted a small bit of the sadness out of Sirius’ unfocused, drunken eyes.

He grew suddenly solemn and stepped up to Remus. “Stay angry a minute more, Rem. I… Well, I let this bloke kiss me.”

Remus tried not to smile, put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder and leaned in close.

“Sirius, you do realise you still have bruises on your hips from last night and a mark on your neck from this morning?” he said, letting his voice fall close as he murmured in his ear.

“You are mine, darling,” he continued. ”Even when you make me want to kill you. I’m imprinted on your soul. You let as many blokes kiss you as you need. Just remember what I’ll do for you when you finally come back home.”

Without waiting for an answer, Remus grabbed Sirius by the hand and spun them home.

By the time they had landed, Sirius was already half asleep. Remus had little hope of getting him in the shower, but also had a desperate need to do just that. He smelt like a sewer and a movie theatre floor and a bar all rolled into one, and even if he slept on the sofa, he’d smell it all night otherwise.

They landed in the living room to find James pacing and Peter passed out, and Lily with a piece of parchment spread across her knees.

“I see you found him,” James said, lacking emotion and making Lily look up.

“I found him,” Remus said shortly. “Shower, then bed. You can all sleep now. We’ll talk in the morning.”

“You’d better take this, though,” Lily replied, offering the parchment.

Remus didn’t question, just nodded and took it from James when he passed it between them. Sirius was still slumped on his shoulder, and James hoisted his other side gently.

“I’ll help,” he muttered in answer to Remus’ gaze. It had been too long a day for Remus to protest.

They got him into the tub, and Remus looked pointedly at James. He cleared his throat and backed away but lingered at the door for a moment.

“Try not to be too mad at him,” James begged. “At least not until you’ve read the letter.”

Remus nodded. He wasn’t actually angry at all. Just tired. Tired of this being the regular cycle.

“Do you think this will ever stop, Prongs? As we get older?”

“You mean the Black’s being terrible people, or Sirius caring that they are?” James said sadly.

“It doesn’t really matter, does it? The answer to both questions is no. Still…”

“I know Remus. Just give him as much as you can, yeah?”

“James—”

“No, no. That wasn’t me saying you don’t. I just mean… Don’t stop, okay?”

Remus stood from where he was knelt beside Sirius and hugged James tightly. He pulled back from the embrace, nodded once in a strange, manly, not very James-like way and pointed to the tub.

“Get him to bed, yeah?”

Remus showered Sirius quickly, all vanished clothes and ineffective scrubbing, spending the most time with hair that he hastily dried with a charm (he’d get in trouble for that tomorrow). By the time he was done, Sirius was groggily aware of the world again, and Remus half-dragged him to bed, his weight dragging them both into a weird, winding gait. As soon as he dumped Sirius into bed, Remus pulled the now crumpled parchment close to his face and lit the tip of his wand to read it.

The words were hate and vitriol. Careful, educated script, full of flowery letters that wrote hideous things. Apparently, Sirius had elected to tell his mother that he was never coming home again. But the words that followed were not what had prompted this, not what had caused the spiral of sadness that had led Remus into Muggle London at 3 am. Those were all words he’d heard before.

It was the last paragraph that had been the culprit. He knew, just as James had, as soon as he read it.

You obviously will not care, as you have elected to disgrace this entire family and your ancestors. I feel the need to tell you, however, that your younger brother is to be wed at the end of the summer. You will not attend.

Regulus. It always came down to Regulus. Sirius was not as complicated as he liked to pretend he was; he cared more than he should about a very small number of people. Anyone who stood in his way of caring for them immediately earned his spite and woe betide them that got in his way. Since that number included Regulus, his mother had long since worked out that she could always wound Sirius.

Remus sighed, and Sirius shifted closer in a half-asleep nuzzle.

“We’ll just go anyway, silly man,” he whispered, pulling slightly damp hair from his mouth. “Always the dramatics.”

“I never forget, you know,” Sirius murmured. “That I’m yours? You’re imprinted on my bones, etched into my skin.”

“Good. Now go to sleep.”

“We’ll go anyway?”

“Obviously, idiot.”

#drabble #send me a prompt #professor drarry does drabbles #wolfstar

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i-am-adlocked · 7 years ago

Text

Got tagged by two people and since the questions are custom-made (lol) I guess, I’ll answer twenty-two instead of eleven LMAO. Love you both guys!

The rules are:

• Post the rules

• Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

• Write eleven questions of your own

• Tag eleven people

QUESTIONS FROM @equusgirl

1. If you could have lunch with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?

This is a tough one. I have many different aspects of myself—several masks. My joker-self would want to be with my friends because I never fail to make them laugh their pants off. My lonely-self would want my future spouse, whoever that person is, right now. My artist-self would want Vincent Van Gogh so I could do the Doctor Who thing where I would reassure him that he is amazing.

My desperate-self would want Bob Ross because I bet he’d inspire me the hell out. My sad-self would want to have lunch with my dead happy-self because I bet I’d slap the hell out of my face. My family-oriented-self would want my maternal grandfather I never got to meet because he doesn’t know me and it’s nice to have a family who would probably say that they’re proud of me. Estranged relatives are like that, I think lmao

OH and I would also want any psychologist, so I’d have free sessions to deal with my ADHD because I can never afford to have more sessions, and I’d finally get a prescription cos I need dem meds.

2. You’re stuck on an elevator with whoever is on your lock/home screen. Who is it?

If we’re talking about my phone, I guess I’m stuck on an elevator with the Eiffel Tower (lock screen) and Mona Lisa (home screen). If we’re talking about my computer, I guess I’m stuck on an elevator with Sherlock (lock screen) and Leo Valdez (home screen). Ho-ho-ho I will be in an elevator with self-loathing mask-wearing joking-but-dead-inside heroes. That will be fun.

3. Last TV show/movie you watched?

I rewatched the last episode of The Crown again after I binged-watched Riverdale and re-re-re-binged-watched The Good Place. Movie-wise, it was the Filipino film called “Ang Larawan”. It’s actually hard for me to watch films because it takes a lot of time for me to stay focused in one episode.

4. A cottage on the beach or a cabin in the mountains?

Cabin in the mountains. I hiss angrily at beaches because I tan so easily and I kid you not, I haven’t swum in a beach since 2009. In a country where lighter paler skin was more cherished, and being an insecure bullied 10-year-old. You’ll understand why. Nowadays, I guess the habit just stuck. ALSO CABIN IN THE MOUNTAINS HOW FREAKING COOL WOULD THAT BE... I’d be surrounded by trees, it would be cold there, I can sit by the fireplace, look out my window to view the beautiful forest and night sky, and just drink whiskey, read a book, and quietly whisper, “Bless.”

5. Last song you listened to?

If we’re not including Brooke Simpson’s performances (specifically, “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World”) in The Voice which I legit just binge-watched before opening Tumblr, it would be the Riverdale Cast’s cover of “Mad World.” I was shookt that I liked it.

6. Most recent obsession?

Video-editing. More-so than usual. I legit have anxieties when I’m not making a video. I should probably stop after finishing these videos I’m doing because I know it will hinder my studies (which I’m already failing at because of my worsening ADHD), and it’s already ruining my sleeping patterns and eating habits. It’s a toxic kind of obsession.

7. Last thing you googled?

“people find out harry potter is abused fic rec” shut up (if interested, click here)

8. Which city would you most like to visit?

(for the first time?) Athens. (again?) either Assisi or Rome or Paris. You can’t make me choose.

9. If you could bring one (1) fictional character to life, who would it be?

I’m having a hard time between Mary Watson (Sherlock) and River Song (Doctor Who) *sobs*

10. Favorite thing about yourself?

My... God, I don’t know, really. I don’t really like myself so how can I find a favorite thing about myself? My ability to brag for things I’m not even good at, I guess? False advertising of myself, I guess? HAHAHAHHA WAIT NO! My ability to make anything sad or depressing. Yes, I’m good at that. It’s not my favourite thing about me but out of all, that’s the only thing I think I’m really good at.

11. Ideal career?

Becoming a wife and mother. Some people give me odd looks for this but I really want to take care of people in ways I never experienced. I want to be there for some people—to feel needed and depended on—to be trusted, long-term.

Younger-me would be furious. She was aro-ace. As a person who grew up only relying on books as company, I thought I would grow up as the typical strong independent woman who is a CEO or is an actress, or a musical theatre performer... I used to want to be that...

But those dreams were based on what my family wanted. CEO because I grew up poor and being a CEO would make me financially stable which my parents wanted. Actress/Theatre Performer because my sister and I bonded through musical theatre, TV shows, and films, and we both love the arts (but I have to admit that she’s better than me with everything srsly im not kidding)...

But as just for myself? I really don’t see myself working for money, or working for the arts. I mean, obviously I want to work for money and for the arts, but... I want to work for people I care about—for a family I will finally not be scared enough to say “I love you” without fearing they would laugh in my face.

—oOo—

OKAY, NOW QUESTIONS FROM @musical-chick-13

1. If you could wake up and be magically good at something you’ve never done before (or have little experience doing), what would you want it to be?

The ability to quickly understand things I’m not interested in and explain them to people easily with how I understood them. I think that would help me a lot in my Law class now at uni. Seriously, I’m having troubles reading, and I always stutter in class because I’m not good at formal English.

My stupid brain needs time to process what I learned (which was written in English), explain it to myself (in Filipino), translate my explanation from Filipino to English, and focus enough to say those things out loud.

2. What is/are your favorite genre(s) of music?

I have an odd range: musical theatre, rock, indie, classical music, PIANO IS LIFE, ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT IS GOOD PIANO AT THE BEGINNING (usually starts with an A, idk why). Also, Lady Gaga and Beyonce. Hands down.

3. What was your first fandom?

Avatar: The Last Airbender. THE SERIES OKAY. A year after that was Harry Potter and Sherlock AT THE SAME TIME 2010 was a crazy year. Just like that, since I was eleven years old, I went down the road to fandom hell.

4. What is a play/musical/opera/etc. (basically any fictional work that’s not a book, movie, comic, or TV show) you like?

BOY YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN UGHGHGH ILL JUST PUT MY TOP SIX

Spring Awakening, Next to Normal, In the Heights. (I listen to the full album completely. The music is divine and the stories are beautiful. You got a story about sex, a story about mental illness, and a story about Hispanics). Spring Awakening’s and Next to Normal’s rock + violin music in a setting of 1800′s Germany and a typical family house, gets me on, ya know?

Sweeney Todd, Wicked, and Rent. (The typical classics I love, note that whenever Sweeney Todd’s Prologue and Wicked’s As Long as You’re Mine starts, I get orgasms just as much when the peak of Rent’s Goodbye Love goes). Great songs, seriously.

5. If you could get paid for doing a mundane task, what would you choose to get paid for?

Organising files.

6. What is a joke you really like?

My death.

7. If you had to have a job working under a fictional character, which character would you choose to be your boss and why?

Sherlock. He would know how to take care of me. He would know how to make me feel better. He has great work ethics, and he knows when to be harsh with his words and gentle, because he knows which people are deserving to be called idiots and those who are just insecure. Though I’ll probably annoy him because of how nervous I’d be but since “Faith Smith” I’d think he’d know how to deal with me, I guess.

8. What article of clothing is your favorite to wear (i.e., dresses, skirts, pants, suits, hats, jewelry, etc.)?

A gold necklace my grandmother gave to me because out of all my cousins (or our generation in our lineage), I’m the first one she gave an “inheritance” to because I happen to be her roommate. Considering that I am the dumbest in the family as well as the family freak, I consider this as my sole victory.

9. Do you consider yourself to be an optimist, a pessimist, or something else entirely?

A total pessimist. An optimist to those who are feeling pessimistic. In my head, there is nothing but hopelessness, despair, and utter misery and pain. But homie, you say shit like that to me? You tell me you are feeling those? Yo, imma throw my rainbows and sunshine up your ass, you are gonna vomit glitter and light, I swear to all deities out there.

I may claim to say that I’m like this because I’m the only one who should be pessimistic, like I’m some narcissistic the-world-revolves-around-me idiot because I don’t like being depicted as anything else but manipulative, cruel, and an arsehole. So please stop telling me I’m nice or that I’m a good person. It makes me feel weird. They’re like unnatural things to say to me.

10. Feelings on cats?

Tolerable. My sister loves them. My school has cats just chilling around. They love me idk why. I love dogs more so I’m surprised they let me in their pack.

11. Favorite soda (or beverage in general if you don’t like soda)?

ALL MY FRIENDS KNOW OF MY WILD ADDICTION TO COCA-COLA.

—oOo—

MY QUESTIONS:

1. Are you feeling okay right now?

2. What is the funniest thing you have ever first-hand witnessed/experienced in real life?

3. Who is/are the most important person/people in your life and why?

4. What is a memory that wouldn’t fail to make you smile like an idiot while you’re in public?

5. How did you come to your current obsession?

6. Why do you ship your OTP (either real-life or fiction)?

7. Let’s pretend speed and distance (lol basically velocity), and quality are the same, would you rather be in a plane or a ship in a storm where there are many lightnings and thunder involved in December?

8. What is the object that is most sentimental to you?

9. If you could be in any fictional world, which one would you explore, and will you or will you not interact with your favourite character? Why or why not?

10. What animal do you most relate to or you consider to be your spirit animal? Why or why not?

11. How do you define the word, “Happiness”?

Tags: @thank-you-for-being-with-me @sentimentalgenius @addignisherlock @randombiochemist @simpleanddestructivechemistry @its-sentimental-adlock @themissadventurer @sorrowsflower @throughtheparadox @theleftpill No pressure, guys! Also to anyone who wants to answer, too! I even tag those who tagged me.

#personal #tag thingies #i love dem tag thingies

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awed-frog · 8 years ago

Note

I love your 'love tropes everywhere' tag! And right now something came to my mind (Sorry I can't look it up by myself right now, but) might it be that most of these love tropes aren't recognized as such because of the music? At least I can't remember any "lovely" music in DeanCas-scenes, if you understand what I mean.

Hey! Thank you - that’s one of my most depressing tags, but it also makes it so clear what they’re doing with Destiel, doesn’t it?

(Sigh.)

As for the music - that’s a very interesting theory, but unfortunately, music is something I mostly know nothing about, so I don’t know if I can answer your queston. My opinion on that - and I presume that in this case, you’re wondering specifically about the parallels highlighted by this post - is that music can influence the way you view a scene, because even I know that, but I wonder if it can truly override our collective #NoHomo mindset. As I explained here, even for me, someone who grew up with a borderline hippy family reading weird books and watching weirder movies, both IRL and (often) on screen a gay couple is not a couple until they cross some line - and that line is much higher than it is for a straight couple. It’s unfair, but it’s apparently how brains work. For instance, yesterday a Facebook contact I haven’t seen in forever and ever posted a new picture - you could see these two guys, okay, arms around each other, some kind of beach in the distance - and there you see it again - if my friend had been with a girl, I would have assumed, 100%, that that was a romantic partner - a girlfriend or a wife - because something in the picture was very intimate and soft and that’s not how you pose with friends. But since they were two men, and I’d never heard anything about him being gay or bi, I just - I don’t know. You think best friend, you think jokey picture, like those best men playing bridesmaids and screaming at the ring. And whenever this happens, I’m not happy with myself - I tsk and roll my eyes and everything else - but our brains have this weird way of functioning statistically in how we see the world (in movies, 99% of couples are straight and 99% or bros are just friends, so that’s what you see) and then ignoring statistics as soon as there’s a rational decision to be made (a lot more people are killed in traffic and changing light bulbs than they are in terror attacks, and yet it’s the bombs we fear). So in the case of Dean and Cas I’m not exactly sure that even music can change anything, if simply because everything else really didn’t (all those I need you and breaking mind control spells and mixtapes and the platonic staring - if this had been a man and a woman, everybody to the Moon and beyond would have accepted it as canon asap).

I mean, Sam and Jess were a couple, and this is the data our brains have been given - they were in love, they lived together, they went to parties and whatever - this means that what they’re doing with them - Sam seeing Jess by the side of the road, Lucifer pretending to be Jess, Sam rushing to save Jess from the fire and everything else - that’s not subtext - it’s text, and it supports the coherent and honest narrative we’ve seen from the very first episode. For those mythological creatures, the ‘casual viewers’, there’s no ambiguity there, no math to do in their heads. They’ve been told straight out that Sam loved Jess in a ‘I want to have babies with you’ way, so when Lucifer slips into her skin the situation is abundantly clear. Dean and Cas, on the other hand - what is missing, and mostly the reason I’m so angry, is that there is absolutely nothing textual there. Everything we have about them are things that can either be read both ways, or are so ‘unimportant’ that a normal viewer wouldn’t even notice them. This means that when Lucifer pretends to be Cas, the situation is very different (maybe not for us, but for a ton of people out there). And, frankly, not even Céline Dion could change this - after seeing the media’s reaction to the mixtape, for instance, it was clear to me that the next season could open with a montage of Dean teaching Cas how to dance with My Heart Will Go On blaring from some jukebox and it still wouldn’t be enough.

(Ugh.)

And the thing is, part of me understands this reluctance or obliviousness we’re seeing about realizing Destiel is a thing, because there is no reason, none, not to insert it in the text. If they want to preserve some UST and general misery, which is always a good idea, they could still have Dean talk to Jody - they had the perfect opening this season in her You can tell me anything speech - or, whatever, they could have filmed the magnificent episode someone (sorry, I never remember who) wrote here on tumblr about a case featuring some ex boyfriend of Dean’s. Seriously, it’s not that difficult.

(But, yeah.)

So, I’m sorry - the only thing I can offer here is that I checked out the first parallel (because I can’t bear to rewatch that last episode, and I do remember Casifer talking to Dean wasn’t framed in any particularly romantic way).

When Sam sees Jess in Bloody Mary, the background music is The Rolling Stones’ Laugh I Nearly Died, which starts well before that scene and seems to be more about Sam’s feelings of guilt and ‘unmooredness’ than his everlasting love for Jess. Jess appears during the guitar solo and disappears over the last refrain - I’m so sick and tired / Trying to turn the tide, yeah / So I’ll say my goodbye / Laugh, laugh / I nearly died. As for the Destiel scene that was heavily paralleled to that one, well - it’s neatly done, isn’t it, because in this case, Dean sees Cas right at the beginning of the episode (Sam and Jess, that was the very last scene) and, again, the scene is framed by a classic rock song, The Animals’ We Gotta Get Out of This Place. Now, the interesting thing is that the Destiel scene is played in a much more insistent way - that song is way more romantic, for starters (‘Cause girl, there’s a better life for me and you), and when Dean sees Cas, the lyrics go Now my girl you’re so young and pretty / And one thing I know is true, yeah / You’ll be dead before your time is due, I know it. The second thing is that Dean, unlike Sam, acts upon this vision - he stops the car, drives back, gets out, and looks around, whereas Sam simply stared in awed desperation at Jess before the screen went black. And, third point: when we saw Jess, that was filmed from Sam’s point of view, but when we saw Cas, that wasn’t Dean’s point of view - it was the external narrator’s (so to speak), and that generally means what we’re seeing is objective reality. Now, I’m not saying that’s yet another indication that Dean loves Cas (or maybe a little bit) - I think what’s happening here is that Cas, unlike Jess, was not dead, and that Dean actually had a glimpse of him walking along some road - maybe not the one he was driving on, but that scene - and this is confirmed by how it was filmed - was real. Dean saw Cas, and Cas saw Dean. That wasn’t a vision. As to what it means, subtextually, if anything - I am reminded of that Fanfiction thing where the two girls playing Dean and Cas were a couple in real life. External narrators and objective reality outside the theatre’s stage usually means, this is actually true, pay attention - but, again, it’s subtext, so, whatever.

Anyway, if you’re interested in this I can recommend TV Tropes, which is devouring Supernatural with a vengeance (see for instance their Ho Yay! page, which features many examples of barely subtextual homoerotic moments).

(By the way - I rewatched bits of Bloody Mary to find that Jess scene and there he was, baby Dean waking Sam up from a nightmare and saying, ‘Sooner or later we’re going to have to talk about this’ - and that’s another example of viewer bias, isn’t it, because when I first started to watch the show, I didn’t really like Dean and mostly saw him as some insensitive fuckboy - and yet I bet there were plenty of little moments like that one which already contradicted this alpha male façade Dean was trying to cling on to. I guess I just didn’t see them, not until later, because I’d already decided in my mind what this character was like.

Brains are funny things, aren’t they?)

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