#seriously though listen to poets

[quinsixtridrupled-k]

damn, all it took was a live rendition at an award show of crazy rock song about telling about the life story of a writer, and how he got stuck in a house of leaves/twin peaks type thriller/horror story sung by him, a talk show host and a Finnish rock band inside an otherworldly dimension of darkness to get me to listen to the offerings of Poets of the Fall and realize their songs are bangers...

[lxkeee]

FLY ME TO THE MOON: THE SEVEN VIRTUES OF GOD

Notes: just some information about the seven virtues.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

Rankings:

The seven virtues consist of seven angels from different triads.

The archangels are Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael/Reader, the virtues of justice, faith, and kindness.

The only dominion angel is Uriel, the virtue of wisdom.

The only seraphim angel is Jophiel, the virtue of beauty.

The only throne angel is Camuel, the virtue of courage.

The only power angel is Azrael, the angel of death.

Most would think the seraphim angels are the most powerful but it's actually the seven virtues who are the most powerful. Strength and power the seven virtues are better as they are in the front lines.

The seraphim angels listen to them.

The seven virtues stayed most of their time on earth, working their separate duties. They watched over the mortals.

Each virtue watches one continent of earth but they do take turns in each continent.

Each virtue has its own personal mansion in heaven.

Personality Dynamics:

The seven virtues think of each other like siblings or best friends at most.

Michael, obviously the older and the leader. Cares for the other six like an older brother does. Cold, serious and takes his role very seriously.

Gabriel, the second oldest. She's like a big sister. Quite a tease too.

Raphael, the third oldest. An introvert, doesn't know how to show affections. She used to but she's currently suffering depression and therefore has trouble understanding her emotions lately but she cares. Very cold and serious when in work mode but awkward and chill during their day off.

Uriel, the same age as Raphael. Very smart, often speaks like a poet or a crackhead and there's no in-between. Total sweetheart and always ready to help. Serious when doing his job.

Jophiel, the same age as Raphael. A flirt, likes teasing others and especially the other virtues. Hides away from responsibilities if he has the chance. If he can't then he would take his job very seriously.

Camuel, the same age as Raphael. Despite being the virtue of courage, he gets scared very easily. Strong though, so he can fight. Got along with the other virtues.

Azrael, the same age as Raphael. A very playful, mischievous, flirty, serious angel. He tends to make fun of others but knows when not to cross the lines. A little sadistic. Always have a smirk on his face, very condescending when in work mode.

The seven virtues both have work and relax mode. When working they are downright terrifyingly serious. But when they don't have any work then they are quite chill.

Michael barely gets any sleep. Functions with coffee 24/7.

Raphael barely has any motivation to do anything.

All seven virtues have sass in their tongues.

Uriel does dad jokes or corny jokes.

Jophiel the victim to listen to those jokes.

All seven of them are tired as fuck, very overworked lmao.

Michael and Azrael often argue cuz the reaper teases Michael. Tend to end up in a fight.

Gabriel tries to break it off and accidentally gets included in the fight.

Camuel the one who actually breaks it off.

Raphael is just there, already used to it.

Jophiel and Uriel watching the fight while eating popcorn, making bets.

Work:

Michael watches over the fairness and equality of earth. Keeping track of mortals' deeds.

Gabriel watches over the faiths of humans, offering guidance to mortals. She's the one who sends mortals' prayers to god.

Raphael watches over the sick and healthy. Providing health to the people who needed it.

Uriel watches over the people and keeps track of the progress made by humans.

Jophiel watches over nature and the non humans, making sure equality is present in all of god's creation.

Camuel watches over the people, providing protection.

Azrael the reaper of souls, guides souls to their destination in the afterlife. Updates the book of life that St. Peter uses so he'll know if there's a new soul that would arrive in heaven.

Day Off Dynamics:

Stays in heaven to recharge.

Often have sleepovers.

Gets very chaotic as they often have nights where they go out for drinks.

Game nights are nights of betrayal.

Michael sucks at uno.

Azrael kept on winning.

Loser does the winner's paperworks.

Gossips. Lots of gossips.

Whether it's heavenly tea or mortal ones.

Michael to Azrael during uno: “Right hand on the bible, god can strike me down if I'm lying. The mf is cheating!”

Yes, they swear.

Only when it's just the seven of them in the room.

Probably hibernates for two whole days.

Other fun facts:

Azrael has two floating or flying eye pets, he can use it to eavesdrop in heaven when he's on earth. It serves as his second pair of eyes. He's always watching.

Michael wields a sword.

Gabriel uses a book as she's more of a mage type of angel.

Raphael uses a sword.

Uriel uses a sword.

Jophiel uses a book to conjure spells.

Camuel uses a bow and arrow.

Azrael uses a staff that transforms into a scythe.

Jophiel accidentally turned himself a frog once and had to attend a virtues meeting in frog form. The others never let him forget.

Uriel drinks more wine than water.

The only girls in the seven virtues are Gabriel and Raphael.

[Y/n] is often rolled into a burrito by the others if she's depressed.

[iambicpentameterhamster]

What i think of you based on your favourite Six of Crows character

Matthias Helvar:

You probably read a lot in the fantasy genre and take yourself too seriously (no offense) probably busy daydreaming about profound things and writing poems that you'll eventually delete. You love bleak and gritty stories and you listen to Coldplay, Conan Gray or The Tortured Poets Department. No shade though, you guys are probably great friends with value for loyalty. In summary, i think you're all either really intense and ernest or totally shy and quiet. You're probably heterosexual to be honest.

Nina Zenik:

I think people who's favourite is Nina don't tend to be much like her in real life, but are the type of people that would really want to befriend her. I'd say you're more introverted and quietly friendly, but then you act totally different and comfortable with the right friends. Technically disapproving of gossip, but turn into Regina George if the rumour is juicy enough- secretly judgemental but it all comes out to your best friends. You have a good sense of humour and probably quite a cynical/pessimist mindset overall. I know you like campy films like Legally Blonde and Clueless. Oh, and your favourite subject is definately history.

Inej Ghafta:

If you're drawn to the steady and honest beat of Inej's thoughts, I think you're quite an anxious or scattered person who enjoys how safe and comforting she feels as a character. I'd say you're a sensitive person with a keen eye for colour and art. Your favourite chapters in SOC are definately the backstory and romance chapters. You cry often at films and music and just when you feel bittersweet or happy. You have Hozier, Mitski or Radiohead on your playlists. You're either artsy smart or english smart, there's no way your a science/maths kinda person.

Wylan Van Eck:

This one is split. You're either one of those people that infantalises and simplifies his character and reduces both him and Jesper to their ship and nothing else, OR you're literally the best person ever. If you're the latter, you're probably super empathetic and appreciate depth as well as a good laugh, and i severley doubt you yourself enjoy maths and chemistry despite loving that look for Wylan. I've also never met a Wylan stan who wasn't a HARDCORE fan of SOC in general. You guys are the loudest complainers about Shadow and Bone being cancelled, and honestly, power to you. I bet your room is a bombsite right now too- pick up those dirty clothes, for christ sake.

Kaz Brekker:

All Kaz Brekker fans are somewhat infatuated with him. Your favourite chapters/scenes are absolutely the action and sexual tension scenes. All about high stakes and excitement, and you love to be surprised. That or you have a big thing for the bad boy trope. I think you have "dark achademia" or grunge-ey pinterest boards that don't match your real life style. I also think you think chess and piano are really sexy but play neither yourself. You and your friends probably read terrible Wattpad stories for a joke. Generally, you're somehow relaxed and simultaneously intense as fuck. 70% of you are Queer women/ nb people, other 30% are intensely heterosexual.

Jesper Fahey:

You have Queen on your playlist. Queen or Gorillaz. You're probably a quite casual person who is taken with Jesper's charm and humour, and you appreciate the comedic relief as you don't enjoy too much grit and heavy stuff with no humour breaks. But despite being not the most sensitive person in the world, Jesper's backstory caught you off guard and it HURT. I think you love comedies and action, you're decent at school and you're quite popular with a good circle of friends. A social person. Potential theatre kid, but minor roles/tech, and the only musical you really like is Hamilton lmao. You are generally a funny person, but you've definately experienced that moment where you tell a joke and nobody laughs.

Anybody else:

Non-existent.

OH AND ALSO, KAZ AND WYLAN FANS ARE THE ONES WHO WRITE ALL OF THE FANFICTION

[toddandersonsblog]

the poets at the beach :)

neil wants everyone to wear sunscreen and makes sure to put some on everyone. he makes sandwiches for all his friends :) spends a lot of time enjoying the very fact that he's at the beach and takes in the beauty of the scenery. he and todd probably spend time collecting shells :)

todd is afraid of getting sunburnt because his parents always put a ton of sunscreen on him. he's also quite self-conscious of being only in this swim trunks around everyone. but he takes like a million pictures because he thinks the beach is so pretty :) he gets inspired there, so he wants to capture those moments

charlie runs away from neil, who chases him with the sunscreen, wondering how charlie can run so fast on the sand. he also wears his coolest sunglasses. he loves the beach so much. he splashes everyone (including strangers), which annoys the most of them. he has a water gun to squirt water at cameron under the umbrella. but he's vibing, for real, even though he got sunburnt. he even claims he's made friends with a fish

meeks wants to know the history of the place ("according to this website, people here used to..."). he's bought a disposable camera from a gift shop (probably some of those toys to build sandcastles, too, as a joke. but soon starts to take his building very seriously). and of course, he just appreciates being there around his best friends :)

pitts is the only one who's actually really interested in the history of the place, apart from meeks, of course. he brings a stereo along and a comic book to read, and eats a lot of ice cream, too, hehe. (ginny buries his legs in the sand as he is reading lol)

cameron sits under the umbrella for most of the time because he gets sunburnt very easily. he brings a book along but barely manages to read because he's constantly chatting with someone. he also brings rackets or a ball for them to play in the afternoon when the sun has gone down a bit :)

knox brings his guitar along and strums away as the others are being chaotic in the background. todd probably joins him for a bit, after a while. he drinks a LOT of iced tea/coffee

chris sunbathes while listening to knox play the guitar :) she falls asleep to it and the soothing sound of the waves (I honestly don't know how she manages to sleep with charlie being there, though)

ginny LOVES swimming. after spending literal hours swimming, she plays volleyball with chris (and soon everyone joins) :) she loves to sing, so she makes sure to sing at least one song along with knox

at night, they gather around a fire to tell stories, poems, and songs :) sounds like a great day for the poets!

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

TTPD Track Speculation/Prediction: @wavesoutbeingtossed Edition

Against my better judgment, I’m putting down my predictions before I am proven completely wrong on April 19.

on the other hand I did correctly attribute all of the 1989 TV vault track teaser lyrics to their songs before it was released so maybe I’m just that good jk.

I’m putting everything under a cut because it’s long and mostly just shooting the shit but it’s a long weekend so what the heck!

I started writing this the night the album was announced at the Grammys in February, so obviously things may have evolved in the meantime. It will be very interesting to see just how wrong I am!

Here be speculation, musings, jokes and more! Enter at your own risk!

SOUND:

I honestly have NO CLUE. I’ve said many, many times that I would be absolutely gagged for an Americana-folk type sound like Carolina/Safe and Sound/some of her acoustic performances on tour. I don’t really expect TTPD to sound quite that stripped back, though. (Prove me wrong, Taylor!)

I am kind of feeling pop-rock-y though, à la WCS, TTDS, based on absolutely nothing but that is also a genre/sound I love that I am begging to hear more on albums.

Completely off the wall guess: Something more jazzy-big band-y, based on nothing but her styling in recent months on the red carpet that harkens back to golden age of Hollywood vibes (especially the Grammys), the inclusion of Clara Bow (renowned flapper girl) on the track list, and the way she keeps talking about being grateful fans accept her bending and switching genres over the years and support her when she does “weird” things.

FORMAT (?)

OK this is just me spitballing, but I said awhile back that I am just getting vibes that there may be, like, a story within a story with this. As in, using some fictional settings as an allegory for the story about herself. The example I used then was The Lumineers, and how they wrote their album III about three generations of a fictional family dealing with addiction, which was an allegory for the lead singer’s own family’s experience with it (without directly calling out the family member in question at the time). There were characters in the album, but many of the songs were sung from an “I”/“you” perspective. I may not be explaining myself well, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are “fictional” stories in that they’re sung about characters (e.g. Clara Bow?), but it will be obvious to fans that she’s using the characters to speak about herself and her experiences. I’m just getting big “storytelling” energy from the hints. Which means I’m totally wrong!!!! Don’t listen to me!!! (I do think there will be some shades of this somehow, though.)

TRACK LIST SPECULATION

Fortnight: Think you are all on the money about it being the time between the start of tour and when Joever happened for good. Sort of a “two years of uncertainty coming to a head in two weeks” thing. Spending two weeks agonizing over what to do. Two weeks for your whole life to blow up. Finally being removed from the situation and grasping onto your dreams that have been on hold for years and realizing your mind’s made up because you won’t give this part of you up even if it means letting go of what you thought your future held. But another thing I’ve thought of: some common wisdom claims it takes two weeks for a new routine to become a habit, so… outside chance it’s like, two weeks go by and you’re finally used to/accepted whatever it is you’re trying to kick? Also had a thought that there could be many two-week periods that can mark your life and give pause. 

The Tortured Poets Department: No idea really lol. For some reason I feel like this is going to be a little more experimental, “laying the groundwork for the defense” type of vibe, kinda like Mastermind, or using the investigative/academic metaphor to delve into it like, Mad Woman or Vigilante Shit. (Or: it could be super petty roasting the infamous group chat lol. In all seriousness though I would doubt that because I feel like this album is very much about Her… unless said group chat was so insufferable she needs to blast it on main.)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: I saw some talk on my dash about this giving renegade themes (you fire off missiles because you hate yourself but don’t you know you’re demolishing me), and I totally thought the same thing. Also those of you who pointed out the parallels to Cardigan are geniuses (when I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said I was your favorite). Again kinda think there might be some more metaphor in this but guessing it may be along the lines of “he’s only doing this because he knows I won’t leave” themes? It instantly gives dark and uneasy. It gives, the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. All signs point to Not Good.

(Or this is about Benji destroying his spin toys or is that just my cat that does that.)

Down Bad: Someone said (on Jaime’s blog I think*) that this is giving False God but icky and I can TOTALLY see that. (Then again I’ve always found False God sad in the sense that it’s like, “even when we fight so bad we can’t communicate we still have the sex holding us together.”) But, Taylor does like to take sayings with common meanings and twist them on their heads, so I also wouldn’t be surprised if “Down Bad,” isn’t referring to being down as in being horny for someone, but being down as in, feeling devastated/hopeless. (Or, even worse, mean both at the same time. 😵‍💫)

(*I wrote this post in February after the announcement, I don’t have a clue when any of this was said anymore sorry)

So Long, London: like a lot of people, I feel like this is her goodbye to the life they had and more importantly/poignantly, the dreams she had of their future. (I don’t know but, “remember looking at this room we loved cause of the light, now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time” just feels like it’d be part of this story.) So because I’ve said that, watch it be an excoriation of London Boy lol. (You know I’m mad at a London Boy / who just really won’t leave Camden / Market in the afternoon / he hasn’t seen my American smile / in two months cause he won’t come to see me / when I have a show to do…) Feel like it’s going to gut us. BUT, also wonder if this is her “I’m getting the fuck out of dodge ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE” anthem haha. (Or: she ran away to London to escape the Bad Stuff but then got stuck in another kind of Bad Stuff living there for so long…)

But Daddy I Love Him: Pretty obviously the Little Mermaid reference. Very curious if the actual quote is in the song, or if it’s just named that to set the scene but the song instead is an expounding on the theme of giving up her voice for the sake of the relationship like Ariel. Also wonder if this is an overtly diaristic song or if she is going to use characters/figures/fiction to expand on the theme subtly, a little like Maisie Peters’ History of Man or Florence & The Machine’s Cassandra or even more pointedly like her own Last Great American Dynasty or The Lucky One. I do assume the overarching theme is going to be the push-pull between keeping her love and giving up things that are important to her to make that love work.  (Watch this be about her arguing with her father about marrying *** lol.)

The theme of giving up your voice/what you hold dear for love is so loaded, and has some parallels to Clara Bow’s story, which is also on the track list so… Lots to chew on I’m sure.

Fresh Out The Slammer: Totally think the reference to her locking herself up for years at home because she was scared in the Time POTY interview is a likely link to this. Feeling free after the weight of this decision is off her shoulders, yet the sheer terror at now being on her own and rebuilding her future. It could be uplifting but I could also see it being like pure chaos. BUT, a thought I had earlier is that, if this is a song that was written pre-Joever, maybe it’s about the aftermath of a rough patch. Like, we just got our get out of jail free cards, we made it through the other side of this Big Thing that almost ended us (e.g. the final blow in YLM), where do we go from here?

Florida!!!: Emphasis on the “!!!”!!! Honestly it had me at FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. I’m soooooo curious and sooooooooooooo pumped for this one. I don’t want to let myself hope it’s going to sound like a Florence song BUT I HOPE IT SOUNDS LIKE A FLORENCE SONG. I’m going to guess it may be a reference to the first stop on tour after the news broke. Wasn’t that also a show where a ton of things went wrong? I can see it going so many ways! Is it a hopeful “Florida I’m coming for you you’re a symbol of my great escape my prison break my entire life crumbling and rising again”? An introspective “I never thought I’d have to rebuild my whole world after it imploded, in Florida of all places?!”? Is it a sarcastic “fucking Florida always the scene of the crime I can’t believe my life is falling apart and I need to go to FUCKASS FLORIDA oh great every thing that can go wrong with my show is FLORIDA!!!!”? Is it a rant about the corporate mouse? Or a scathing takedown of Republican politics ahead of the 2024 elections? (lol) Who’s to say?!

Guilty as Sin?: Sooooooooooo curious about this. I’m a Carolina Stan and I know there is 0% chance there is a link between the two songs other than the lyric which is a common term, but it does make me happy. My first thought about this one is that it’s going to be biting or self-reflective — kinda like the bridge of Is It Over Now? Or the chorus of Anti-Hero. As in, “what is it exactly that you think I’m guilty of?” (E.g. ambition? Drive? Seeking attention? Being selfish? But could also be sad: Loving too hard? Caring too much? Being too needy? Hmmm.) I’m kind of feeling like it’s a “if it’s wrong to be guilty of these things I don’t want to be right.” Again if I had to guess I’d wonder if it would have the same vibes as the bridge of YLM. (For some reason, with the question mark, I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be accusing someone of something…)* I also had a thought about the seven deadly sins and this title and… THOUGHTS ARE THINKING**.

(*I may not have found it accusatory in February, but with the benefit of hindsight in March I… reserve the right to change my mind about this.)

(**Future Waves here: the thoughts may have been thinking for February Waves but March Waves has no idea what she was talking about.)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: I don’t knooooooooooow. At first the title kinda gave me Blank Space vibes, like, you don’t know how much I could fuck this up if I wanted. Then some people mentioned the similarity to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And now that’s absolutely all I can think about. If you’ve ever seen the movie (or the play), it is rooooooooough. Watching George and Martha drunkenly eviscerate each other as their guests watch on in horror is… oof. (As someone who has seen this happen in real life and was trapped on a boat with a couple in full unhinged mode… OOF. Just OOF.) Of course there’s the Burton-Taylor of it all too so… (there’s also an interesting theme in Virginia Woolf about buying into illusion to avoid the messiness of reality… and Martha resenting George’s lack of ambition.) Is this song cheeky? Or a threat? Is this a Better Than Revenge/Vigilante Shit rebuke or is it Bejeweled owning her personhood?

(Like any of these songs, there’s also the chance that it’s heartbreaking and is really a reflection on how the things that make her her can be weaponized against her… Or how her struggles/vices alienate her to the person she loves a la Anti-Hero…)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): My first thought is this is going to be one of her sarcastic/satirical/funnier ones, based on nothing except that this sounds like it could be an Olivia Rodrigo cheeky song lol. (Like, I immediately start singing this to the tune of “Get Him Back.”) Never beat those allegations, Taylor, we’ve all been there. It definitely feels like a stereotypical tale of “girl tries to fix a man who doesn’t want to change and refuses to give up.” Watch this actually be a sad ballad about the flip side of renegade and trying to help a partner through a crisis 😬 

loml: the quiet menace in this list!!!! Obviously we’re all immediately thinking “love of my life,” but because this is Taylor, we should not rest easy. The fact that it’s all in small caps is curious to me and calls back to text speak, so is this a term of endearment that turns into a final parting sign off? Is it from an email ahem? Is it a sweet song about the good parts of being together? A wistful song about a lost love? BUT THEN, because it’s Taylor, I can totally see this being a bait and switch and it standing for something else as some of you pointed out, like loss of my life, or love OR my life. Or something entirely different. I’m pretty convinced that this one is going to be devastating in some fashion. I just feel it in my bones.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: Like many of you, I’m fairly certain this is going to be a bittersweet Long Live-esque ode to the Eras tour. The pick yourself up by the bootstraps, get out of bed, the show must go on and the show is saving my life story. Just thinking of the quote from the Time POTY interview where she said, “I know I’m going on that stage whether I’m sick, injured, heartbroken, uncomfortable, or stressed.” And in those early weeks, it seems like she might have been all of those things at once. Just trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed when all you want the earth’s core to swallow you whole and never come back. Kind of like, I can pick up the pieces of my life and carry on even when I am dying inside. 

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Obviously this is about one Benjamin Button, please. OK, in all seriousness, it’s giving, well… *shots fired*. It’s giving “your integrity makes me seem small.” It’s giving “I’m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out.” It’s giving “all you are is mean.” So, part of me thinks it’s going to be turned on its head a little bit, just because… it seems to point to something directly and sometimes Taylor enjoys a bit of misdirection. So is this about someone who takes shots at someone else and in so doing, displays their own insecurity? Another thought I had is: Is this about someone who retreats into their own world so much that they’ve shut out everything and everyone else? Their whole world gets shrunken down to the four walls around them? I have a strong feeling this is an allegory-type song, using a fictionalized and possibly fantastical story to tell the real life one, but obviously I could be wrong.

The Alchemy: gonna be real with you all: I didn’t know that alchemy was the practice of turning base metals into something that looks like gold. I think I was mixing it up with apothecary or something, lol. I thought it was the practice of making potions and whatnot. #TheMoreYouKnow ANYWAY, I think the idea of “turning nothing into something that shines” is going to be important. Is it about using her best colours for a portrait to hide the cracks underneath? Is it about trying your best to make something work and thrive but ultimately coming up empty because the foundation is gone? Is it about turning these base experiences into art that fuels her? There are so many possibilities! (@taylortruther’s post about The Alchemy and other comments got me thinking too about the magician/illusionist scenario in So It Goes and now my brain is on fire.)

Clara Bow: Soooooooooo intrigued by this one too. People have pointed out so many of the interesting coincidences and parallels in their lives. Clara Bow was a silent film star who found her voice in the talkies — that right there is one metaphor about finding your voice in your art and your life. But it’s also an interesting parallel that she managed to parlay her success in silent film into talkies, at a time where few actors enjoyed a successful transition, which mirrors Taylor’s transition from country to pop. There’s the way Clara’s private life was splashed all over the press, driven by salacious rumours about her sex life and her perceived revolving door of lovers, which seems like something Taylor would empathize with. There’s the way she had a breakdown and left Hollywood, which may have some shades of 2016. Or that she got married and started a family, but insisted on keeping it a secret for many years to maintain privacy, which is interesting because in this case it seems like *Clara* was the one driving the need for secrecy, not her husband. (At least I read that in one article somewhere, sorry if that’s wrong!) Ultimately though, she died relatively young and was forgotten by mainstream Hollywood, a relic of a past uninteresting to all but the most diehard of film buffs. I’m getting vibes of “The Lucky One,”  (and “Nothing New”) both in themes and in storytelling. So, watch it be completely different and not a story about Clara Bow but instead just have it be an off-hand line lol.

BONUS TRACKS

The Manuscript: I’m veeeeeery intrigued by this one. (I know I say that about all of them. That’s because they all intrigue me.) I love the idea that this wraps up the “standard” album; the chair(wo)man of the Tortured Poets Department has submitted her thesis for review, and it’s up to the board to draw their conclusion. OR: the idea that this is the unfiltered submission to a publisher, before the editor’s review that will cut and tighten and ultimately make it better, but loses the author’s initial vision in the process. (Like self-editing to share the most palatable story to your reader. Which… Also gives Dear Reader/Midnights in general vibes.) OR EVEN: this is the author’s story, submitted to the audience for their review, leaving it up to them to draw their conclusions and annotate. There are sooooooo many ways I can see this going. 

The Bolter: A curious one indeed! I feel like of all of the bonus tracks at least, this is the one I have the least idea about. My immediate guess is that it refers to a person who runs, which would have all kinds of implications. Running from the law (unlikely lol), running from commitment, running from conflict… running for your life. Like running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (single girl version) to running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (bitter wife* version). (*NOT saying there was a secret wedding lol. I mean as in, that’s the future that was in store if one stayed.) I saw other takes saying bolter is also slang for jailer, which is also interesting with the Ready For It of it all. 

The Albatross: So much has been said about this one, so I don’t think I have much to ado about this one! The famous poem is rife with all kinds of allusions: the bird soaring on its own for up to six years, but being brought down by man’s cruelty. The bird looking majestic in the skies, but the burden of its wings dragging it down on land, slowly killing it. The story being a metaphor for how the very thing poets are exalted for in society are the things they are punished for personally. I think it’s safe to say this one is going to hurt regardless, whether it’s a reference to herself, to ***, or something else entirely.

The Black Dog: Also another one I’m not sure I have many thoughts on yet. The black dog being a metaphor for depression is likely the inspiration, and I’m assuming this has the potential to be one of the most vulnerable songs yet. I have a feeling most of this album will be, but the imagery of this — the black dog being a constant companion, wanted or not, casting a pall over its master’s every move — points in a pretty obvious direction. And one that is probably going to gut us.

Well there you have it folks! I am ready to be completely wrong!

[natrogersfics]

The Anthology - Chapter 8: The Tortured Poets Department

Artwork by @faith2nyc Read on AO3

He’s a goddamn idiot.

He has to be. It’s the only logical explanation Natasha could come up with as she makes her way into her kitchen, setting her mug down on the counter before turning to the man whose sensibilities she’s seriously beginning to question.

Before her, Steve leans against the doorway, regarding her expectantly. “Natasha, did you hear me?”

She did. Loud and clear. But it really isn’t her hearing that’s causing her words to fail her at the moment. It’s her disbelief. Her disbelief at the fact that he had shown up at her door, heart in hand, oh so eagerly announcing his plans to throw his entire life upside down as though the last few weeks didn’t happen. As though he had already forgotten, foolishly, the ruckus he had to weave himself through as he walked out the front door of her rental this morning with every photographer happily pointing out the fact that he was still wearing the same clothes from when they’d left the wrap party. It’s as though he’s even forgotten that there’s currently an online fire storm brewing and slowly tanking his reputation – all because he had dared to take her home last night.  

He may have forgotten, but she hasn’t.

Perhaps she should be happy. Elated even. Albeit only in the darkest recesses of her mind, this is what she had found herself hoping he would do as they both laid sprawled out on her couch mere hours ago, her head on his chest as she listened to each beat of his heart. Instead, she finds herself reeling. Hard.  

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” she finally says, digging her nails into the insides of her palms.

“Yes, I do,” he insists. “Nat-”

“It’s career suicide, Steve!” she says, watching as that combatant expression of his that she knows all too well makes its way across his face. His lips part as if to respond, but she beats him to it. “And for what?”

“For us,” he says without missing a beat, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

She scoffs. “Do you not remember-”

“I remember everything, Nat,” he interjects this time, his words causing her to press her lips into a line. “Believe me, I’ve seen the show.” He pushes off the doorway, making his way to her. “Which is why I know that when you go out and act like what we had didn’t mean a thing to you or that us avoiding each other isn’t tearing you apart on the inside too, that’s all it is. A show.” He stops just before her, his eyes somehow managing to look even more breathtaking in the dim light of her kitchen. “So you can keep putting it on… but just know that I’ll be here, sitting through it. Again and again.”

She searches his eyes, though she’s not even certain what for. A sign, maybe. Or even some hint of a warning that his words are only half-hearted. But the only thing she can see is his irrefutable resolve, the intensity of which knocks the breath right out of her. “Why?”

“Because you’ve done nearly everything to push me away…” he says, and whether the little gasp that falls from her lips is from the gravity of his words or the sparks that run across her skin as he slowly reaches for her, taking her hand in his to intertwine their fingers, she isn’t quite sure. “The one thing you haven’t done is say that you don’t love me.”

His gaze implores her to tell him he’s wrong, to rebuff his claims and pull away from his touch. Only, she can’t. And they both know it. “Steve…”   

“Natasha, I love you,” he says – declares, really, with how steadfast his tone is. And if there’s any room left for ambiguity, he erases it as he adds, “All I want is you. And I don’t care what it costs.” He shakes his head. “I don’t care if they never let me pick up the shield again. Or if people fire off one hot take after another about us on the internet for the rest of their sorry, miserable lives. None of that matters to me.” He sighs, bringing a hand up to cup her face. “And if none of that matters to you, either… Then all I need to know is, do you love me, too?”

“I do,” she says, her response spilling out of her as if on their own accord. “So much.”

His lips quirk into the smallest of smiles as he brushes his thumb over the apple of her cheek. “Then be with me.”

Her eyes screw shut at his invitation. The irony isn’t lost on her. Here he is, talking about putting down the shield so they could be together, but it’s as though with her silence, she’s the one proverbially keeping it up to place some self-imposed distance between them. When she had walked out on him that night, she had told herself that she was doing it for him, to protect him not only from the pandemonium that came with her life, but also, and perhaps more importantly, from her. But those points are all moot now, it seems. She's tried every trick in her book to scare him away, and while it had worked temporarily, by his own admission, he had come to figure it out. And now, nothing about what he's seen fazes him any longer.

It's then that it finally dawns on her. The reasons she had been using to justify pushing him away were only ever partial truths. She may have trained herself to let the words of others roll right off her back and to accept that their loyalty to her may only ever be transactional, but the fact of the matter is he’s not just anyone. He’s the one – the only one – who has recognized that she's been putting up a façade all this time, the only one who has dared to ask and find out what’s behind it. As much as the idea terrifies her, he is under her skin now, and if he were to walk away, if he were to somehow change his mind, she knows with prolific certainty that there’s nothing in the arsenal she’s been building over the years that could save her from the magnitude of that hurt. 

He could well and truly really break her. And yet, she finds that with every fiber of her being, she still longs to say yes to him. To tell him that what they have is strong enough to withstand any and all of the noise that comes their way. That she’s ready to take this leap. But before she can, it’s clear to her that if they’re to have any chance at all, there could be no more hiding. She’s going to have to show him everything she’s been keeping in – the good, the bad, and the absolute wreckage that includes that tiny voice in her head, spurred on by the memories of her past and the pieces of her that never quite fully healed, that aches for reassurance.

“Please don’t hurt me,” she whispers as she opens her eyes. Not like they have, she wants to add. Not like I’ve allowed them to. 

“I won’t,” he says, and whether it’s the conviction in his tone or the way his eyes fill with so much devotion that even though she’s heard that affirmation many times before, in many different variations, she finds herself believing it instantly. Irrevocably. “God, Nat, I’ll-”

She doesn’t let him utter whatever oath he was just about to swear as she rises on the tips of her toes to grab his face and crush her lips to his. For whatever promise he was going to make, it doesn’t matter. The second their lips meet, it’s as though the rest of the world fades away. There’s just them. Them and this electrifying desire that’s mixed in with something else, too. Something stronger, more formidable. Something that tethers her to him. And as he bends at the knees, scooping her into his arms without breaking their kiss, she finally comprehends what it is. It’s the very thing she’s been running away from since she first felt an inkling of it. This feeling that he’s everything she’s ever wanted and everything she’s ever going to want. That against the odds, they had a chance.

That there could be a them.

“Steve,” she sighs at the revelation, and if the way he kisses her deeper – hungrier – is any indication, he seems to have arrived at the same conclusion. But for the first time in her life, the idea doesn’t incite fear in her heart. Instead, as he walks them out of her kitchen and down the hall, she leans into it, kissing him back just as fiercely and conveying all the possibilities of them into the lock of their lips. 

​​“I missed you so much,” he confesses, trailing his lips down the column of her throat when they stumble down onto her bed, his body bracketing hers.

He nips teasingly at her pulse, causing her to shudder. She wants to say that she missed him too, to let him know how desperate she is for his touch and to satiate this seemingly never-ending ache she has for him that sinks right to her bones. But the relief in his tone tugs at her heartstrings, and she forces herself to focus. “Hey,” she says, cupping his face in her hands and forcing him to meet her gaze. “I love you.”

The awe that shimmers brightly in his eyes is impossible to miss. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that.”  

“If I ever made you doubt it…” she says, shaking her head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers without so much as a hint of hesitation that it’s almost hard to believe that after everything she’s done, here he is, choosing to trust her with his heart. Moments ago, she might have questioned it – questioned him – but not anymore. He turns his head, kissing the inside of her palm, and as his lips pull up into a little smile, her heart feels just about ready to burst in her chest that all she can do is bring her lips back to his. 

It’s then that she finally allows her desire to lead, letting herself get reacquainted with the taste of his lips and the feel of his body under her touch as she finds the hem of his shirt, pushing it up and off him. His hands follow suit, their kisses losing their chasteness and growing teeth as they both work to rid each other of the barriers between them. Blissful sighs fall from their lips as skin eventually grazes skin, and by the time they’ve stripped down to nothing, the only sound in the room is of their labored breathing. She reaches between them, feeling his chest rumble with a groan when she finds him already hard and aching for her.

“Steve,” she whimpers when she guides him to her entrance, making them both gasp as he glides teasingly over her. “Please.” 

To her relief, he doesn’t make her plead any longer. With a swivel of his hips, he pushes into her, making her nails dig into his back as her lips part with a breath. It astonishes her that despite losing count of the number of times they’ve surrendered to each other, that first push always feels like the very first, that stretch as he slowly sinks into her deliriously perfect every single time.

“I love you,” she sighs contentedly, wrapping her arms around his neck once he’s fully seated inside of her.

He leans his forehead against hers. “Say it again.” 

“I love you,” she repeats, a smile painting her lips now. “God, I love you.”

He beams at that, the joy that paints his expression so addictive that she can’t help but want to repeat the sentiment. So she does, professing the same words to him over and over even as he begins to move and stopping only when his lips find hers again, practically stealing the breath right out of her lungs.

For a moment, she’s content to let him lead. To savor the delectable fullness she feels as he ruts up into her nice and slow, hands caressing every inch of her skin that he can reach as though they have all the time in the world. But as it always is with them, pleasure quickly begins to crackle hotly through them both, and what starts off as languid and leisurely quickly grows frenzied. Ravenous.

A particularly delicious snap of his hips has her calling out his name, her walls fluttering and her arms tightening around him as she careens towards the edge. It's not until he presses a soothing kiss to her temple that she realizes she’s whimpering. “I know, baby,” he whispers. “I know.”

His hand reaches behind her then, holding her to him as he maneuvers them until he’s sitting up and she has a knee on either side of his lap.

“Natasha,” he rasps out when she sinks right back down onto him, her head tipping back in ecstasy as he brushes against that sweet spot inside her that makes her body tremble just so. Vaguely, she’s aware of his hands curling into her waist, his thumbs running soothingly over the skin there, encouraging her to move, but she allows herself a second to simply savor the feeling of being stretched just that little bit more this way.

“So good,” she whispers, teeth sinking into her bottom lip. He smiles up at her, and she watches as his expression dissolves into one of sweet torment when she finally begins moving, lifting herself up and then back down again and causing them both to moan. They'd long learned each other's bodies as if it were their own. Even so, as the pleasure begins to uncoil low in her stomach, she notes that this time around feels remarkably disparate from any other. More scintillating, somehow. As though with their fears and inhibitions finally laid to rest, this connection between them only runs deeper. More intimate.

Free. 

The muscles in her thighs begin to burn with the effort when she feels Steve reach between them, and as his hand slips down to where they’re joined, rubbing tight circles around her bundle of nerves, she gasps. “Let go, Nat,” he says just as her breaths come quicker. “I’ve got you.” 

It’s with that promise that she finally cries out, white-hot pleasure turning her vision to white as she succumbs to her high and takes him right off that dizzying edge with her. 

“Maria’s going to kill you, you know,” she teases later on when they finally make it underneath the sheets.

His breath skims across the top of her head as he chuckles. “She survived Tony Stark’s bachelor years,” he says. “She’s more than capable of handling me choosing to be with the love of my life.”

"Love of your life, huh?" she says, peeling her head away from his chest to raise a brow playfully at him. "That sounds serious."

"Oh, it's very serious," he says, smirking. "I'm talking, might get stuck with me forever, serious." 

She shakes her head in amusement. With all the truth they've laid bare tonight, it seems absurd that these words would still have the power to give her butterflies. And yet, she feels that familiar flutter in her stomach just the same. She sighs. “This isn’t going to be easy.”

“No, it’s not,” he concurs, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. “But I’m ready to give it a try if you are.”

For a second, she just holds his gaze. Given the lives they both live, the possibility of getting hurt will always loom. And while that notion is one that had petrified her before, tonight, she realizes that it doesn’t matter anymore. With him, she’s willing to take the plunge – come what may. 

She reaches for his hand, bringing it up to her lips to kiss his knuckles. “I am.” 

Chapter 7 | Epilogue

[cherries-in-wine]

Are u a swiftie?

Uhh... Yes but no but yes but no but yes but no but yes but in a very casual sense

Going to turn this into a rant yipee

Taylor Swift was probably the first alive western artist I listened to when I was like 8, so in that sense her music holds a very special place in my heart. I think she's a great song writer and it's impressive how she's done multiple genres so well. Her old songs give me a feeling of comfort which i really like. I also admire the fact that she's self made (edit: apparently she's not, alot of money and resources were involved in making her famous) plus i sympathize with the fact that she joined the music industry so young and narrowly missed being sexualised as a child (people were literally calling her country lolita). And also all that shit with kim and kanye

I don't like her right now though, i can't bring myself to sympathise with someone who calls herself a tortured poet in all seriousness (a billionaire cis straight white woman) Also hate her for all that carbon emissions and her inability to deal with conflict. Instead of addressing the issue she just started suing anyone who released her private jet flight details. I love folklore and Evermore Taylor but ttpd Taylor is so petty to the point it's just frustrating I feel like I'm watching a public meltdown you KNOW how insanely loyal and devoted your fans are so why are you bashing your ex who's mental health is already shitty in public just get a fucking diary. Also her not speaking up about Palestine (i did a whole rant on that too so I'm not repeating it but yea)

[betterbooktitles]

What makes a Jesuit boys’ school so entertaining is the irreverence in the face of certain damnation. There were adult authority figures, some imbued with the ability to forgive Mortal Sin, telling us we were going to Hell if we didn’t take our morality seriously. In response, we laughed and cracked jokes. We laughed so hard, in part, because the stakes were so high. If you could mock the Most Important Question, you could likely laugh off anything.

Humor was what opened me up to the idea that I didn’t share the values of the men teaching me to be a “good” person. Humor also taught me that I didn’t have to accept any of it.

The first time I heard shade thrown at the Theology department was during my freshman year when my favorite teacher sitting in a room in the fourth floor English department, in an entirely separate building from the Theology and History classrooms asked “what movie are they showing you over there this week?” It was true that for half the year, Theology teachers showed movies 40 minutes at a time to make important philosophical points. They screened The Matrix, Life is Beautiful (watched in tandem with our reading of Man’s Search for Meaning), and, my personal favorite The Shawshank Redemption which they showed to us in the summer before 9th grade to let us know what Jesuit school would resemble: something close to surviving solitary confinement. If you had music in your mind, you might make it out. I don’t doubt the efficacy of showing these movies to us to teach moral lessons. It was a better strategy than trying to force teenagers to read. I had never heard anyone mock the department, though, especially not another teacher.

To be clear, this scrutiny, at least of the lay teachers in the Theology department was justified. They fed us one-sided anti-intellectual drivel that had almost nothing to do with Catholic Dogma. Instead of learning about a biblical text, we spent hours listening to a guy tell us evolution was “just a theory,” that being gay was a choice, and that abortion was wrong in any instance (whatever your personal beliefs, understand that it’s kind of hard to hear both sides of that argument at an all-male school where the adult men were the authority on ethics). Then they showed us clips from Fox News of Terri Schiavo and told us the “correct” Christian response to the news.

One day, again in my freshman year when I was scared to question anything because of an inordinate fear that I could be thrown out of school at any moment, our Theology teacher pressed play on The Emperor’s Club (a 2002 Kevin Kline movie about a boy’s prep school that served in our teacher’s mind as some ethic antithesis to the more beloved (and frankly more entertaining) Dead Poets Society). A student in the back row raised his hand, and our teacher paused the movie. We sat in the dark room and rolled our eyes. Make this quick, buddy. We’ve got a movie to watch here!

“Jeff?” our teacher said, lifting his eyebrows.

“Yes, I was wondering about the prayer we read before class today,” Jeff said. He was a senior, a bit portly which was only noticeable because many kids did not bother buying new dress shirts every year. Once the stress of school forced you to eat your feelings four years in a row, you wound up with a gut putting pressure on your old shirts’ buttons. “It says in the prayer…” Jeff continued, “that Jesus descended into Hell. What’s that about?” 

“Well,” our teacher said, looking excited to finally talk about religion instead of answering some weird kid’s question about the ethics of having sex with aliens should they ever land on Earth, “according to scripture, we know the gates of Heaven were closed for a time, so when Jesus died he descended into hell first to free other righteous souls…”

“Yeah, a quick follow-up on that,” Jeff said, sounding interested, “does anyone believe this shit?” 

The cackles that erupted in the room nearly overwhelmed our teacher’s angry tirade. Jeff was sent to the Vice Principal’s office to await his judgment. It hadn’t occurred to me until that moment you were allowed not only to question those teaching us about religion but you were allowed to reject the faith altogether. 

From there, every argument began to collapse, mostly through funny moments:

A teacher tried to tell us IVF was wrong because “you have to jerk off into a cup. It’s not right.” One kid announced: “I’ve done weirder!” Guffaws. Cheers.

Another teacher claimed gay sex was always wrong because the sex itself was not ‘open to creating human life,’ to which a brave gay student volunteered “Oh, I’m open to it. I’ll keep trying and let you know if there’s a miracle.” Applause. 

When a teacher said video games could be considered a sin if they distract you from work, someone, half-asleep in the front row, let out a loud “Ah, shut up!” that made us all giggle.

My fellow students weren’t playing the game, arguing with the teacher on his terms, using logic. They were dismissing the arguments flippantly, and no adult could reply unless they were funny themselves. 

Read the rest here.

[lawtiee]

YJs with blind reader. I can feel like r! Would’ve become blind during the crash some how and since they are blind they can’t really go outside or do much without the others constantly worrying and coddling them

-🪼

oh gosh yeah! misty and the lil nurse she is would constantly be checking on you, asking how your vision was today when you’d given her like the same answer nearly everyday. she’d kinda wave her hand infront of your face and tell you to let her know if you could see anything really. most things had either been blotchy or super blurry, but she notes it anyways.

though nat hides behind that ‘doesn’t give a shit’ personality, i think she’d be by your side the most when she didn’t have chores or whatever. she’d go on and on about her hunting skills and whatever else she had going on with travis. she’d probably gossip with you about some stupid shit one of the girls did or tell you stories about things that happened before the crash. like how some ‘fucking nerd asked her to prom and almost pissed his pants when she even looked to hard in his direction before giving a response’.

lottie and the rest of the girls in her lil group circle thingy she does definitely keeps you in their thoughts somehow. whether it be asking the wilderness to keep you in good health or hoping that they’d be rescued soon so you can get the help you needed, she’s going the whooooole nine yards.

when summer rolls back around, i think shauna would lead you around the forest and describe the scenery, and i know shauna is so effing vivid with her imagination like she will go the entire poet route. maybe she’d even write about your outings with her in her journal. :3

when it came down to anything else, mari would still be cooking and if you needed it, she’d be willing to help you get familiarized with the utensils again. she wants to help you but she’s kinda agressive with it? she’s all like “dude it’s no problem if you need help like, ill totally help you. its no problem, nothing to get all shaken up over. ill help you with whatever other shit you need help with. seriously!” you just assume this is her way of being affectionate or if she was in that kinda awkward teenage girl stage.

jackie gives you pep talks like how she used to before every game. mostly, it occurs when you’re feeling bad because you’re not helping enough. her first instinct, obviously, was to drive those thoughts away from your mind. it was like her sworn duty as the leader of the team. and god she gives a damn good pep talk! she could be some kinda motivational speaker if it weren’t for everyone’s circumstance.

crystal will sing to you constantly. and i mean constantly. she’d go through these long ass songs from her favorite musicals, and at this point you lost track of what it even had been at this point? chicago or something? you had no clue. but you’d listen contentedly as if you knew a lick about musicals.

[tedshell]

my ihnmaims self-insert, adam! (please ask questions about him, he's so silly and pathetic to me)

(father) adam was a priest pre-AM, working for the catholic church. he was incredibly passionate about his religion and took his job seriously, working every hour for his church and god.

upon entering AM's stomach, adam was quickly sent into a state of religious psychosis. he believed he was in hell (and in someways, he was) and was actively being punished for his sins on the surface. he was quick to disband himself from the group of five, believing they were demons sent by satan to torment him.

adam, for the better part of two decades, kept to himself. he'd wander off to do his own thing, not caring about the group and what they did. he was incredibly paranoid when it came to them and only believed them to be demons, benny especially (he'd witness him turn from human to ape, he believes benny is the most demonic out of all of them). he refuses to talk to them, unless it's to speak about how god will save him or to try and repent the group from their sins.

of course as time went on, adam realized that the group was struggling just as much as he was, just in their own way. it took him a long time to drop the, "you guys are demons out to get me" delusion but it did falter off. kudos to ellen for helping him get over that! his relationships with the group are incredibly rocky and he still struggles to keep his religious bias out of them, but it's apart of who he is and he continues to struggle.

AM (i'll be using it/its to refer to it) however, gets a kick out of adam's religion and often uses it against him. it's favorite way of torturing adam is through psychological abuse and religious delusion. AM has gone as far as to alter adam's mind enough to make him believe tjag it is god, and that adam should worship it.

AM is incredibly hot/cold about this praise from adam, though. one minute it basks in it, the next it is furious that a human would love AM as much as adam believes he does. on bad days, adam is punished for his worship.

a lot of his games revolve around religion, often focusing on different stories from the bible and twisting them to become horrors beyond human imagination. other times, it focuses on adam's own inner sins, helping him overcome them and find peace within himself (those are on good, good days. they're still awful to experience, however).

adam has a similar personality to:

michael (supernatural)

father paul (midnight mass)

neil perry (dead poet's society)

james wilson (house md)

some fun facts about adam! :

- had his mouth sewn shut for three years because AM was tired of listening to his prayers.

- was crucified, he couldn't walk or grab onto things properly for a long time. gorrister got fed up with his constant cries of pain and tore the nails out, adam wasn't happy.

- AM made him almost blind. adam can see, but it's incredibly hard and he mostly has to rely on touch and sound to get by.

- wasn't a good person on the surface despite being a priest, and treats AM's stomach as a place to reform himself.

- has a little crush ^__^!!! (wonder who :/)

- adam is a sagittarius (dec. 20th)

[ladyloveandjustice]

I liveblog the Odyssey (The Liveblogyssey)

'I've been listening to and reading The Odyssey (Emily Wilson's translation) and I've been rambling a lot to my partner, so I thought I would also liveblog my first impressions! I read parts of The Odyssey in high school and college but never the whole thing start to finish.

Athena spoils half the plot right off, I mean obviously I knew it already, but still. We start near the end of the story with Odysseus trapped on Calypso's island, Telemachus really upset that the suitors are EATING ALL THEIR SHEEP, and the beginning follows Telemachus around as he travels around to try to learn about his dad and if he's alive. Which... we know he is so that takes a little of the tension out of it.

(Seriously, Telemachus is very fixated on the sheep thing. I get that it's a big source of food but maybe you should be a little more concerned about your mom fending off 108 suitors bud).

Athena in disguise goes to meet and accompany him, appearing as an older man, and this translation is very simple and accessible (though there are definitely moments of beautiful prose) but this sometimes leads to really awkward lines like Telemachus telling Athena in disguise "I will give you a precious, pretty treasure as a keepsake to mark our special friendship" which like. are you hitting on him Telemachus you just said you think he's fatherly.

Telemachus is going thru it though. so you can't help but feel bad for him. "My mother says I am his son, but I can't be sure [...} I wish I were the son of someone lucky, who can grow old at home, instead the most unlucky man alive is said to be my father." Like that one of the times you feel the connection going back thousand of years so fiercely, the idea of having no connection to your father because you've never met him and he doesn't even feel like your dad, just a story, and too bad you can't be the son of someone who's around.

Meanwhile, a super unintentionally funny lin from young Mac is "The poets are not to blame for how things are, Blame Zeus." which yeah, that sums up most of Greek myth doesn't it! (also very funny of Homer to be like "be nice to poets, they're cool".) He also tells his own Mom to go back to the kitchen so he can assert to the suitors he's in charge and there's a man in this house, but we are reading a story from 8th century BC so.

Anyway he goes around with Athena travelling and learning about his dad, and honestly, the Odyssey is so funny. Love the part where Nestor is like "oh if only Athena favored you as she did her father" and Telemachus is like “Yeah Athena’s not on my side” :/ and she's just. sitting there with him and says”hmm are you sure I think she maybe is probably"

(and then she's like "btw to gods don't control who lives and who dies TELEMACHUS we can't even protect our mortal loved ones (but please ignore all the times we've actively killed people) and also! also! I think your dad should be grateful to go on a cool quest and be alive when he could have just died the second he left Troy, think about THAT!!!)

then she just randomly turns into a bird and leaves after ensuring Telemachus has good sleeping arrangements. Telemachus never reacts to this, everyone else is just like "omg Athena!!" he says nothing I assume he was just standing there in slackjawed shock for the next couple of hours and going over all the embarrassing things he said.

Also we get to see Helen! And I knew from earlier Greek studies that people today acting like she was dumb just because men found her attractive was misogynist nonsense. But now I get to be extra mad because the woman isn't just not dumb, she's really intelligent and observant!

Not only does she immediately figure out who Telemachus is because she saw him when he was a newborn (how??) and relays that during the Trojan war she was the only one able to recognize odysseus when he came to her place in disguise and gave him intel, but most importantly she talks about "the day the Greeks marched off to troy, their minds fixated on war and violence. They made my face the cause that hounded them". Just subtly calling the whole army out. She knows they didn't actually go to war for her. She knows she was just an excuse, and a weak one at that. She knows they wanted this war, they wanted this violence.

So yeah, Helen is smart as hell! Screw that "Everyone wanted Helen of Sparta I wanted someone a little smarter" shit from Epic, sexist nonsense, I'm glad that song was cut.

She also mentions that "Aphrodite made her go crazy" when she agreed to run off, which could be literally true (Aphrodite did tend to do that) or a clever way to protect her reputation after leaving her husband.

Helen also has drugs, which I imagine is a big reason everyone liked her. The total package. But uh, she also does drugs everyone's drinks without apparently telling them. With what sounds like superpowered magic weed or something, to make them mellow and calm and erase anxiety and depression. It says "Whoever drinks this mixture for the bowl will shed no tears that day not even if her mother or father should die" which uh actually seems kind of dangerous! But Telemachus is goin' thru it, so maybe he could use it. but apparently it doesn't work (or takes a long time to kick in} because Telemachus gets upset anyway and says things like "This makes it worse! Courage could not save my father's life!" and wants to go to bed. (PS she got the weed from Egypt, and it's nice that the story is very complementary about Egyptians, calling them the "healer's people").

And then we've finished Telemachus's depression session and get back to Penelope. THE SAGA CONTINUES IN PART 2.

[ailendolin]

I know Thomas is supposed to be a bad poet, but honestly I think the works we do get to hear him recite are quite lovely? I wouldn't mind hearing Hermione and Roger for 2 hours tbh, and I actually liked the poem he recited for the Plaguers too. Maybe I just have bad taste LOL

I do like Misty Glade as well! Though to be completely honest I think the way Mat recites poetry just sounds so lovely in general that the actual words stop mattering at some point. I would happily listen to him read the phone book - that's how soothing I find his voice 😅

In all seriousness, though: Thomas has always had the potential to be a good poet. We know that - we have seen that in series 3. "It's no fault of the sun if the eye sees not its beauty." Most of the time, he is just trying too hard. He forces the words, overthinks them, and then ends up with something like yellow bun to rhyme with sun.

I think if he allowed himself to be vulnerable and let his heart speak, he would probably compose the most heart-wrenching poetry you've ever heard. And I personally would love to see that. Imagine the look on everyone's faces when his poem actually moves them, and the look on Thomas's face when he realises the applause he gets is genuine for once. It would mean the world to him.

There is only the Christmas Special left, of course, and while I do think Thomas (and also Fanny but she was already the focus of one Christmas Special) deserves to have another episode focused on him since his story still has loose ends, I don't believe that's going to happen. Which is all right - that's what fanfiction are there for. But I hope there will be a scene where someone appreciates him, and that it doesn't end on a laugh like similar moments have before.

[thediamondarcher]

What's your favorite Soliatire quote? :)

“When it comes to the exams . . . I generally don’t write what they want me to write. I’m not very good at, er, sorting out all the stuff in my head. Like, I took biology A-level, and I completely understood what polypeptide synthesis was, but I couldn’t write it down. I’m not dyslexic or anything. I just don’t know what the examiners want to hear. I don’t know whether I just forget things, or maybe I don’t know how I’m supposed to explain it. I just don’t know. And it’s fucking horrible.”

in my opinion, that one is completely amazing and i don't think i need to explain why tbh.

★

“There’s a time and a place for being normal. For most people, normal is a default. But for some, like you and me, normal is something we have to bring out, like putting on a suit for a posh dinner.”

another VERY neurodivergent coded quote said by Michael.

★

"Your eyes are different colors,” I say.

“Did I not tell you that I’m a magical anime girl?”

“Seriously, why, though?”

“My blue eye conceals the power of my past life, and I use it to summon my guardian angels to assist me in my plight against the forces of darkness.”

“Are you drunk?”

“I’m a poet.”

that whole conversation is just amazing

★

"It hits me, then. I haven’t ever known what I wanted out of life. Until now. I sort of want to be dead."

this one just hits too close to home

★

"Two girls walk past in gargantuan heels and dresses so tight that their skin is spilling out, and one of them says to the other, “Wait, who the fuck is Lewis Carroll?” and in my imagination I pull a gun out of my pocket, shoot them both, and then shoot myself."

this one is just because Tori is way too real

★

“There’s nothing romantic about death. I hate when people use Kurt Cobain’s suicide as an excuse to worship him for being such a tormented soul.”

again just Tori being way too real

★

"What surprises me the most is how suddenly it happens. Normally it takes forever. Normally when I’m trying to sleep I do all these silly things, like I roll over and imagine that I’m sleeping next to someone and I reach out and caress their hair. Or I clasp my hands together and after a little while I start thinking it’s somebody else’s hand I’m holding, not my own. I swear to God there’s something wrong with me. There really is. But this time I feel myself roll slightly over so I’m resting on his chest, under his arm. He smells vaguely of bonfires. At some point I think someone opens the door and sees us lying there half-asleep together. Whoever it is looks at us for a moment before quietly shutting the door again. The shouting downstairs begins to ease, even though the music is still pumping. I half listen for any demonic creatures outside the window, but it’s a silent night. Nothing traps me. It’s nice. I feel the air in the room, and it’s like there is none."

the way Tori just finds this amount of comfort on Michel says so much about their relationship it just makes me feel so many things

★

“A better person? Ha. I’ve done some shitty things to people. And now I’m admitting it. You know what, Evelyn? Maybe I want to be a special snowflake. Maybe, sometimes, I just want to express the emotions that I’m actually feeling instead of having to put on this happy smiley facade that I put on every day just to come across to bitches like you as not boring.”

Becky being real !!!!! (she's so mirrorball coded too)

[enlitment]

Top 5 lines written by Catullus!

Thank you for the ask (and for indulging me!). I may stretch the definition of what can realistically be considered 'a line' a bit, but it's for the sake of context, I promise!

C 31: Sirmio

O what freedom from care is more joyful/ than when the mind lays down its burden/and weary, back home from foreign toil/ we rest in the bed we longed for?

This one is just incredibly relatable for anyone coming back home from any long trip! It is just as true now as it was more than 2000 years ago.

2: C 99: Stolen Kisses: to Iuventius

you have handed wretched me over to spiteful Love/nor have you ceased to torture me in every way/so that for me that kiss is now changed from ambrosia/to be harsher than harsh hellebore

I've included this line mostly because I love the contrast between ambrosia and hellebore. I also think that there is something powerful and effective about taste metaphors, yet I don't see them used very often. Here, it manages to beautifully illustrate poor Catullus' feelings in this particular situation! (Though obviously, you shouldn't go on kissing people out of the blue. That's kind of on him.)

Poor Catullus, getting rejected by both women and men, left and right

3. Attis

So, rapidly, from sweet dream and free of madness/ Attis recollected his actions in his thoughts/ and saw with a clear heart what and where he had been/ turning again with passionate mind to the sea.

Nothing like the pain of the morning after, am I right?

In all seriousness, all of Attis is amazing. The language (even the translations, I sadly cannot appreciate the original), the imagery, the links to mythology, it's all so beautiful. It's also such a rich area for analysis - I've thought about it a lot, but I'm sure if barely scracthed the surface at this point.

I personally see it as an expression of the fear of emasculation that comes with being deeply obsessed with a female lover (as he was with Lesbia)? I cannot claim any expertise beside having read all of his work and knowing some of the context of his life + the Roman views on masculinity. I've also read a few opinions of people arguing for a possible trans reading, which is incredibly interesting as well.

4. C 9: Back from Spain: To Veranius

You’re back. O happy news for me!/ I’ll see you safe and sound and listen/ to your tales of Spanish places that you’ve done/ and tribes, as is your custom, and/ hang about your neck, and kiss/ your lovely mouth and eyes

I don't know, just something about him expressing such genuine joy about being reunited with his friend seems incredibly sweet. (Also introduces the idea of kissing someone on the eyes which. Um. Seems to be an ongoing thing for Catullus. Sure, you do you.)

5. C 64: Epithalamium for Peleus and Thetis

The Minoan girl goes on gazing at the distance/ with mournful eyes, like the statue of a Bacchante/ gazes, alas, and swells with great waves of sorrow

Again, I just love the whole poem. It is probably my favourite Catullus poem (along with C 50, but they have very different vibes). I find it fascinating that a male poet can empathise so much with the female perspective (which is a bit of an ongoing theme in his poetry). I cannot help but think that he must have personally related to Ariadne's pain, being rejected by his former lover - Lesbia - like she was by Theseus. It would certainly help to explain how he was able to portray her state of mind with such incredible depth and complexity.

I also adore the beauty of the language and the many references to Greek mythology of course.

[zimmbzon]

This is the way @visualtaehyun taught me that there is an On Repeat playlist on my Spotify. And honestly, I'm not sure I like Spotify calling me out like this.

The tag game goes like this:

Shuffle your On Repeat playlist and then list the first ten songs!

TEEKS is from Aotearoa (where I'm from!) and honestly you can stop reading this post after this, because as soon as you hear the first note out of this incredible person's mouth you will be like: “HOLY SHIT ZIMMBS!” And you will right, Holy Shit is right.

If a song could get an alpha pregnant, that song would be “First Time” by TEEKS

Okay, so I like the TIlly Birds. I saw them live last month AND IT WAS SO GOOD. The energy is just so fun, I like the fan cam footage they put up in their insta stories very much.

This one confuses me a little cos Thai songs are a sometimes food for me. They are so far beyond my comprehension level that my mind wanders and starts thinking in English, and shuts off to the Thai, and then i run the risk of my brain viewing the language as not a language but background sounds and that's bad for the particular way in which I am learning Thai.

TEEKS!! Seriously, I will take all the love I have and can put into my laptop so that it might come through your screen, kiss you on the cheeks and whisper TEEKS. One note is all it takes, ooff that voice!

I got the haircut. It looks more like 80s-pop-punk-girl-band on me than tumblr's-favourite-jender-thief but I like it. (I look like my mum)

I like fun.

Um, my Jeff bias is showing.

Ooooh, this is my reminder to listen to Hozier again. What a musician! What an ally! What a poet! Also I'm seeing Hozier in November and my ticket stipulates that I must bring my own chair.

This and "finally found you" are songs I WOULD LOVE (oh look the all caps are back) to be able to sing. Like, those are songs that have homes burrowed deep inside my soul.

... yup. yes. this is a thing.

Aaaaaaaaanyway… TEEKS!!!!

Whaddaya reckon @cryingatships @peachandpinwheel @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @paintedmasks @ppeonppeonhan

no stress though

[rachthepoet]

Keep Driving Analysis

Oh my, oh my. Keep Driving renders domesticity with vague tableaus, from the mundane to the utterly surreal, counting off on his fingers a new twist on the grocery list. Ahem, well, to me anyhow. It tacks together a collage, one representative of a dreamy relationship. Romantic, but showing simultaneous unsteadiness. It's a masterclass in delicate deception and extended metaphor, one of those songs I'd personally pull to illustrate just how beautiful Harry has a hold on his art lyrically and musically.

Maybe I'm a bit biased, I'll be so frank, due to the utilization of the stream-of-consciousness poetic style. The intentional lack of organization is such a willful move on the artist's part. A bold and unusual form to be brought into song lyrics due to how off-putting it can come off to the listener, but Harry takes that possibility into ownership and uses it to strengthen his work. The inclination to seek solace while in perpetual motion. Impeccably, may I add.

Here's a deep dive (or should I dare to say drive?) into Harry Styles' Keep Driving, from a poet.

Harry S. & Paul M. 🚗

Something that hit me on the first listen, and persistent in all the listens to follow, is the striking similarity between this song of Harry's and Paul McCartney's Junk. The Beatles and Paul himself have been ingrained in my livelihood since I was small, on car rides with my mother who took my conversion to Beatles fan very seriously. So, maybe it's too natural for me to find any association between the two, but I promise there's a direction to my madness. First, for context's sake, let's talk about McCartney's song, Junk.

Junk is a contemplative piece delving into themes of materialism, nostalgia, and the passage of time. The way I hear this song, it stands against the concept of "letting material things go" with a focus on keeping close to the heart old material things that hold the sentiments — but, parallel, it also opposes consumerism and frowns upon just how fast the economy wants people to live their lives. There's this encompassing of the transient nature of life itself, with a rattling list of items becoming metaphors. Acknowledging, though, the tendency for once-cherished items to turn forgotten & obsolete.

Keep Driving could be illustrating something similar, I suppose. Well, not suppose, I believe it, actually. The constant change of scenery in the song, very reminiscent of McCartney's, can illustrate this transient nature, and even a haunting sense of impermanence lingering underfoot. The narrator and subject drive a faulty car, passing memories and new technologies along the way. "Something old and something new", as Paul himself would say, and does so in Junk. Despite all this change, one thing is blatantly stated as permanent: I will always love you, a favorite part of the song for my hopeless romantic heart. Anywho. Despite the faults in the engine and the brake — all a metaphor, of course — this sense of adoration and devotion courses through his veins for his companion. And there's confidence that'll never change for him, despite the transient nature around them. Or, even, the transient nature that has seeped into their own dynamic, closing in. I find it quite romantic, this proclamation of love in the midst of it all, but I better save my yapping on that for now.

Lyric Pull Apart 🚗

[VERSE 1] Black-and-white film camera Yellow sunglasses Ash tray, swimming pool Hot wax, jump off the roof

The scenery has been set into motion, utilizing that writing technique I tried to sneak into your head before. Yes, stream-of-consciousness. Here, we're given a hint into the structure of the song lyrically: the verses will be chronicling and reminisicing on memories shared between the couple, while the chorus will be a constant that the song circles back to, a stark contrast between fantasy/nostalgia vs. reality. With this importance of the structure, each verse and further sections will be kept intact visually, like above. Okay, shall we get on with it?

Black-and-white film camera: This as the opening lyric is something so genius to me, as I'm accompanied by the visual of the clicking noses of an old camera before you go to watch back memories you've captured. Which, I believe, sets the tone for the rest of the verse — and then for the second verse and bridge to come — in terms of the whole piece's structure solidified. This also gives us a look into the two characters in our narrative I believe. The film camera leans into nostalgia, as both of them tend to lean heavily into memories. This feels like a bit of foreshadowing to the core conflict, the tendency to trick oneself into hiding in the pleasures of what has been instead of focusing on what is now.

Yellow sunglasses: I think there are two ways one could go with interpretations of this detail. Well, three, if you could that it could just be the color of the frame of the sunglasses he's noticed they always wear. So, yeah, correct that to three. The first perspective ties back to my ramble regarding memories and nostalgia. In films, yellow is used as a memory haze coloring, which further amplifies the conceptualization of memories being remembered.

The second perspective is how it very well could be a nod to the common cliche, seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. Yellow is a color commonly associated with happiness and buoyancy. The suggestion here, I think, could be that his vision of the relationship is more optimistic than realistic, and doesn't necessarily want to face how tings might be falling apart, even though there's already a small concern. That can so quickly turn into a big concern.

Both perspectives can coexist, and, truly, they help flesh out each other. And both are applicable to the core themes of the song, so, really, all of these thoughts can be true and working in cohesion.

Ash tray, swimming pool / Hot wax, jump off the roof: Bringing in the rest of the verse, and looking at the first verse altogether. To the listener, everything seems like a mishmash of words with no correlation to each other. But not to the two of them, and that integrates the smallest detail, but has the biggest implications attached. These are moments, summarizations, associations connected back to the speaker and his partner. Therefore, they're uninterpretable by anybody else. It radiates a sense of established intimacy, which, when we bring in the rift, it now holds so much more emphasis. A harder hit, because we get the taste of sweetness before the punch of the sour.

[1ST CHORUS] A small concern with how the engine sounds We held darkness in withheld clouds I would ask, "Should we just keep driving?"

He snaps back to the current day, the reality vs. the fantasy, thrown out of the yellow haze of nostalgia, face-to-face with the issue with the two of them, the quote-en-quote "engine" in this extending metaphor. The vehicle is symbolic of their relationship, therefore the engine is representative of the health of their bond. This is the metaphor one has to remember in order to envelop oneself in the true beauty of the song.

A small concern with how the engine sounds: The chord played in companionship with this line is a shock to the ear, pulling the listener out of the laidback groove. It amplifies the shift of the speaker, the reality vs. the fantasy. This is our first implication in the lyrics that something is off, something is in trouble. But the interest in the details is low — he aches to continue wading into the impressions left in his head, the memories he doesn't want to abandon to face reality, whether it's the relationship with this other or something that extends beyond.

A sprite of concern saying, "The engine's making a funny noise that could impact the car's health" evolves, then, to a sprite of concern saying, "There's this issue between us that could impact the relationship's health". At its very best, it will only make for a minor bump in the road. At its very worst, the damage will be far beyond repair.

We held darkness in withheld clouds: This is a bit of a juxtaposition here, but that in no way negates its value in extending the listener's understanding. It's a beautiful and poignant phrase and is one of my favorite lines ever penned at his hand. We've solidified that the speaker is aware of the troubling turbulence, now taking the form of rain clouds. He knew that storms were brewing under their noses, but decided to keep moving along in hopes they would go. He repressed them. Because he didn't just say clouds, but rather coupled it with the term withheld — to keep something back and not share it. And, a little detail in this line I find interesting is the use of past tense. We held darkness in withheld clouds, with the past tense informing that they were no longer in the situation. But he could be looking back with a tinge of regret, in this inner conflict with himself. Trying to work out if he should stick in his ways, in his unhealthy coping tactics, to continue his emotional coasting.

I would ask, "Should we just keep driving?": Is it avoidance? Is it acceptance? Complacency? Apathy? All of it? I'm partial to the last one. He knows something isn't quite right in the engine, but chose those yellow sunglasses of optimistic haze anyway. He wants to ignore the negative parts of their relationship like an inexperienced driver wants to ignore a weird engine sound they don't want to deal with. This common feeling that maybe things will be okay if they wait it out enough. But, still accompanied with I would ask, which I feels like has an undertone of uncertainty of his choice a bit, in the way the chorus ends.

All three of these lines working together makes the chorus intriguing and draws one in, even if kept in such a small package. There's an acknowledgment, concern, then avoidance masked as acceptance. It's such a great chorus, can you tell I love this chorus?

[VERSE 2] Maple syrup, coffee Pancakes for two Hash brown, egg yolk I will always love you

Full disclosure, this verse makes me blush and giggle whenever I hear it. His voice is the softest he has sounded in this piece, which makes sense because it's the softest moment in the song. It's so fairytale-esque and dreamy in the ear. Also, the simplicity of it is saccharine sweet, a beautiful love letter to domesticity that rocks juxtaposition in comparison to the first verse. A constant routine he's reciting because it means so much to him.

Maple syrup, coffee: What's on the table in mornings spent together...

Pancakes for two / Hash brown, egg yolk: Sharing breakfast and sleepy, still-waking-up conversations...

I will always love you: Breakfast, breakfast, and suddenly, a love declaration. It's arguably the most blatant he's been in a romantic song, not hidden behind flowery language or poetry. Though, it does have a poetic flow and intention, but I'll get into that soon. Anywho, through the verses we see him chronicling memories held onto, all the sweetness before the turbulence set in. The memories of mornings spent together in the sickeningly sweet domestic atmosphere, and those are the kind of things he wants to grasp onto as they hit these rough patches. But this line is a stark outlier and disrupts the flow a bit, demandin your attention to be drawn to it, and I believe strongly that it's all in smart design. A full senence of his feelings rather than the expection to continue chronicling what's tangibly in front of him.

In breaking the pattern, it feels like he just couldn't hold it in any longer, that those three little words had to come out then and there. Here are our memories [through the black-and-white film camera], and I loved you all during them. Let's keep driving, I love you still, love you now. Here's our favorite breakfast to have together, remember that? I want to love you for so long.

Before we move past this though, gotta poetry geek out for a moment. This verse is the only one of the song to follow a meter — 4/6, with four syllables in the first and third lines and six syllables in the second and fourth lines — and a rhyme — ABCB — which in turn creates a stable feel and flow to it. Though it's not a concrete rule, often, this is something used very purposeful in poetry and leans more coincidental when it comes to songwriting. But, no matter the medium, whenever a singular section of a piece is set to break the pattern of the rest, it draws attention, and that's more than likely intentional on the artist's part. And I don't underestimate Harry ever. So, I will be proceeding on with the assumption that it wasn't just coincidental.

With this understanding, the second verse becomes even sweeter as it implies stability, which means a lot in a verse that reads as a love letter/romanticization to the domestic life. Saying that those things will always remain stable, even with the metaphorical engine problems and the pent-up darkness in their withheld clouds. Among all, these are our constants I'll keep drawing us back to. The breakfast we like to share, and the fact that "I will always love you". The use of the word always adds a prominent subtext of confidence, even if it's through yellow colored sunglasses.

[2ND CHORUS] A small concern with how the engine sounds We held darkness in withheld clouds I would ask, "Should we just keep driving?" Should we just keep driving?

There's not much difference between this second chorus and the first rendition, except one thing. The repetition of the core conflict of the piece, and I find this significant because of the order of the song up until now. In the first verse, he thought about their exciting memories, ones that embodied fun but also fleeting. When facing the inner conflict the first time around in the first chorus, there's this admittance of a problem at hand, a reflection of how it was handled before, and then this wondering if the two should keep repressing the issue. The question still lingers as he's asking it, with an uncertainty of it being the next step to be taken, though it's presented as a substantial one.

In the second verse, we're also in a reminiscence stage, but this time with memories embodying the heart and a sense of routine, in turn, stability. Remembering love and domesticity in its wholesome glory, and a sense of permanence in its final line. Then, we're back to where we are currently, with the second rendition of the chorus, the inner conflict is revisited, and the core question is repeated without the I would ask preceding it. Which gives off a sense that he's made up his mind. He wishes to keep emotionally coasting with his partner, to pick the optimistic view, having remembered the constant feeling of love by the end of the second verse.

[BRIDGE] Passports in foot wells Kiss her and don't tells Wine glass, puff pass Tea with cyborgs Riot America Science and edibles Life hacks going viral in the bathroom Cocaine, side boob Choke her with a sea view Toothache, bad move Just act normal Moka pot Monday It's all good Hey, you

I call this the everything but the kitchen sink bridge. But, seriously, this bridge works so well in its chaos, and I'll explain. After the second verse, the natural assumption would be for the song to increase its intimacy and domesticity. But, rather, this bridge veers in the opposite direction, becoming less intimate, less domestic. This is all a part of their relationship, assumed, but it's not as specific to them as earlier in the song. And as we lose that intimacy, the grasp on the nostalgia over reality as they mesh into one another, the song's feel changes.

The writing style hasn't changed, but the intensity has. The music behind his voice swells, adding an underlying sense of urgency, trepidation, and apprehension when your focus goes to the instruments alone. Almost akin to a foot pressing on the gas, pushing the car engine too far, almost to the teetering line of complete engine failure. The chaotic nature of the bridge embodies the chaotic moments of the relationship. And, when the focus shifts to the chaos, the reality in opposition to the yellow-hazed memories he's been planting himself in, their bond suffers as felt in the rise of intensity of the instrumentals.

The bridge is significantly longer than the two verses before and is split into two chunks where he's allowed to take a breath. But, in no moment before the end does he stop to beg the question. He doesn't communicate as all this chaos finally rises to the surface, making it hard to ignore. I see this bridge as a moment of emotional release, as a result of the repression before, and it's only when everything is about to hit its peak that he leans back on how he's gotten through it before. Though unhealthy, he finally brings up the question again. The second he does, things return to the status quo -- the music mellows down to the same childlike glockenspiel, a laid-back sway the characters and listeners both fall back to. We have chosen the yellow sunglasses again, as the influx of chaos is too intense to face. We keep on driving, even if it's just a repression. We'll keep on emotional coasting.

[OUTRO] Should we just keep driving? Should we just keep driving? (Ooh) Should we just keep driving?

More repetition is added to the core conflict, to the core question, and the assumed conclusion is given: the choice is to keep on driving, to keep basking in the beauty of our bond instead of looking into the beasts, which will get us stuck in a rut I'm afraid we won't be able to find our way out of. By the outro, the question becomes superficial and redundant because he knows the answer, even before the question leaves his lips. He knows the cycle he's stuck in, the coping through delicate deception. He's stopped trying to bring up that the engine sounds a little off, but rather desperately tries to keep his quickening voice soft, creating a yellow haze in hopes that he won't have to face the chaos again.

I have an inkling this is one of those songs people either love or hate, but, if you couldn't tell by just how much I've been gushing, I love it so very much! It's a song that admits that life can be shitty at times, and that includes the relationships that were once filled with sugar-coated memories, but there's always a sense of permanence that gives the push to keep you driving. Finding the calm in the chaos but almost being chaos together, even in the darkest times. Though poetic, we aren't hiding behind poetry or prose or flowery language, but bringing in the rawness, the realness, the existing and beautiful, even at times our choices can vary into the bad. It's the shortest song on the album, but I don't think it needs to be longer, and think the more condensed feeling only aids. And, speaking from experience, Keep Driving is a whole Kodak memory-maker opportunity when screaming the song in the car. Windows down!

Thank you for reading, you're absolutely incredible! If there are any songs you'd like me to make an analysis of, please send your request to my inbox! along with any questions or insights you might have yourself!