#seriously this boy deserved better than this drama

[heretherebedork]

I unfortunately never trust a mainstream kdrama to handle a gay character well and it feels like wedding impossible is reinforcing to that. It definitely feels like straight people wrote it with the intention of seeming progressive. But their idea of progress is that gay people just need to be “brave” and that staying in the closest is hurtful to loved ones because it’s lying to them and coming out is something those loved ones are owed. Which is obviously a harmful pov. I can’t imagine a gay person (in Korea especially) that would think that way. I like Dohan a lot and I think his struggles make so much sense, but it’s hard to watch the show when it feels so distinctly written by people who will never actually understand what it’s like to be Dohan and when it feels like the narrative is punishing Dohan for things that, to me, feel like a perfectly understandable choice for someone in his position.

Luckily, this is basically one of the only mainstream Kdramas I've ever watched and is likely to stay that way... though, hey, maybe it'll be more popular to add gay characters and I'll be forced to learn an entirely new set of tropes.

But yeah.

It really feels like it was written by progressives who had never experienced it themselves.

Of course the show sets it up so Do Han promised to protect them but never did and they really are going to sacrifice everything to protect him despite the rest of the show not exactly showing either of them doing that.

(Especially Ji Han. Like, great, he realized he was forcing his POV onto Do Han and it only took him falling in love and finding out Do Han was gay to figure that out and he still never took a moment to apologize to him or talk to him? Nope. Just destroyed their sibling relationship and never looked back.)

Seriously.

Do Han makes so much sense. He's terrified. He's admitted to his anxiety. He's been running because he has no choice.

And that was confirmed by his grandfather changing the press conference, by the way.

Absolute confirmation that Do Han never had a chance to come out and help them or protect them. Nothing he did could have made a difference.

I really wish the show had treated Ah Jeong better. Because this episode was back to a better version of her than we've seen lately and the flashbacks to high school are always good but also disappointing because they're written much better than the modern stuff.

And Ji Han frustrates me so much because it feels like he was supposed to be this self-sacrificing character who did everything the right way but truthfully he was just selfish and admitting it at the end without ever apologizing to Do Han? Gives me the ick.

[darknesseddiem]

Small(Big) Problems

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: "Can you do one for some of the small boob giries please? Where reader is insecure of their small chest but Eddie reassures them xx."

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Self-deprecation, derogatory jokes, low self-esteem, Eddie being a sweetheart and comforting Reader.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 0.830k.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @birdysaturne @wdsara48 @ali-r3n

You like my work? Support me with a small 𝐊𝐨-𝐟𝐢.

To all the girls who have ever felt insufficient or worthless, know that you are amazing and that you deserve the world, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

The Hawkins High cafeteria resounded with the clinking of cutlery and trays carrying the students' lunches, the tables entirely occupied by friends chatting animatedly about the frivolities of their unspecial lives.

Each person's place was designated according to a social “hierarchy”, just like in the animal kingdom where the lion was the king of the jungle.

The lions would be the basketball team, the ‘Tigers’. Ironic, isn't it? Logically, the cheerleaders would be the lionesses, responsible for maintaining balance among the pack, or not.

And so followed the hierarchy imposed at Hawkins High: Basketball team and cheerleaders, popular people, party lovers, intellectuals, readers, scientists, musicians, theater kids, alternative people, the shy and reclusive, the dregs of society and… The weird nerds, better known as 'the Hellfire Club'.

At the last table, far from everyone else, was your people, Eddie Munson's pupils who were arguing vehemently about something that you hadn't been able to decipher yet.

“Dude, you don't understand!” Gareth exclaimed frantically, running his hand over his face, “Please, someone kill me…” Jeff replied in a whisper with his head thrown back.

You looked between the two in confusion as you went to your reserved seat- on Eddie's left side, and carefully placed your tray with the food. "What is happening?" Curiosity got the best of you and you whispered, leaning into the boy next to you. “I have no idea, they’ve been at it for almost half an hour.” The curly-haired boy whispered back.

“How come you can’t decide which one is prettier between the two?” Jeff rolled his eyes at his friend, “I can’t because they’re both practically the same!” He countered loudly.

Gareth made a sound as if he had heard the greatest atrocity a human being could utter. “Man…” He said with his jaw dropped, “You are truly blind, without a doubt.” The blonde shook his head. “Oh yeah? Tell me something that’s different about the two.” Everyone at the table was enjoying the two's discussion.

A mischievous smile began to appear on Emerson's face. “That's easy,” He crossed his arms over his chest, “Pamela Anderson's titties are much bigger than Heather Locklear's.” And with that, a commotion was generated at the table.

“Eww!”

“Jesus, we have a lady sitting here Gareth!” Dustin pointed and everyone at the table stared at you.

"And…?" He shrugged. “How do you think she’ll feel hearing you talk about… Um, another woman’s parts like you’re a pervert?” The smaller boy scolded.

"Hey!" The blonde haired boy fumed, "It's not my fault she's flat as a door and feels insecure around other girls' breasts." He slapped his hand over his mouth when he realized what he had just said.

Your face fell in shock and embarrassment, hot tears threatening to form as everyone at the table looked equally shocked at Gareth.

Feeling humiliated enough, you got up from your chair and headed towards the cafe's exit without looking back.

“Man, you really are an asshole.” Grant said disappointed in his friend.

Eddie, who was watching the discussion unfold, now looked at Gareth with a dark look, getting up from his place at the head of the table, Emerson barely had time to react when he was hit with a tray of food and something wet. "What the-"

“Be thankful it’s just food and not a chair,” The older boy said seriously and followed you.

Eddie found you in the drama room where they were playing D&D, “Princess?” The chair next to you was occupied by him. “Hey, I hope you’re not like this because of that scumbag.” He caressed your damp cheek.

“He’s not wrong, Eds… I-” You were silenced by a finger on your lips.

“Ah, ah, I won’t even listen.” His dark curls shook as he shook his head. “Gareth is an idiot who hasn’t left puberty yet.” You both laughed, “But you… You are more than a body, you know that right?” You denied, overwhelmed by the emotions that his sentence brought you.

“You know now, you are an incredible girl with so many qualities… It’s almost ridiculous that you reduce yourself to a body, when you have so much to offer.” His brown eyes looked at you with intensity and sincerity, “I think you’re beautiful, and I’m not just talking about physical beauty.” The smile on your face was huge.

“What I want to say, Princess, is that you are much more than this standard imposed by the patriarchy, you are worth more than that…” He looked down with flushed cheeks.

You jumped into his arms and hugged him like there was no tomorrow, “Thank you, Eds.” You thanked him with a trembling voice and felt him tighten his arms around your waist, returning the hug.

People can be mean, and sometimes you have to remember: You are more than a body.

[atiny-for-life]

Creative Spotlight #8: Choi Jongho

Masterlist

Intro: With so many new Atinys coming in, I figured now would be a good time to shed some light on all the boys' creative solo projects over the years, big and small.

JongST

Jongho's a singer through and through, and launched his own cover series in 2020 where he traveled to the filming sets of his favorite dramas to cover the songs in his usual powerful and emotional fashion, proving over and over again how much he deserves all the praise he gets showered with:

The fourth episode is a special one, featuring Jung Seung Hwan, the original singer of the OST, and a little interview section in the second half of the video. It's very cute and Seung Hwan shares a little anecdote of Jongho approaching him in the past to give him one of their albums and being all sweet and shy about it.

The most recent JongST was released in 2022.

Other Cover Songs

In mid 2022, Jongho was invited to Leemujin Service, where he performed an acoustic cover of Turbulence and the most gut wrenching version of Don't Go Today (seriously, it's so gorgeous I've streamed it more than some actual comebacks):

Through his participation in Masked Singer, Jongho performed Swing Baby a year ago while (to my delight, Jinyoung and Hyunsuk from CIX were there) - it's a really fun and dynamic performance and you can tell the audience had a blast:

And while Ateez as a group have participated (and won) Immortal Songs on multiple occasions, Jongho also performed a solo there last year - So You. At the beginning of the last third of the song, there's a section where the instrumental just falls away and we're left with nothing but Jongho's voice and it's so damn powerful:

8 months ago, Jongho's cover of Park Hyo Shin's Wild Flower was uploaded, featuring Jongho in a unique setting: a circular room with a single spotlight shining down from above, illuminating just him and a pianist sitting at a grand black piano.

It's a stunning performance with a gorgeous explosive section in the second half:

Imitation Soundtrack

Like Seonghwa, Yunho, and San, Jongho was also a part of the Imitation cast but, unlike the other three, he was a member of the fictional group Shax, which most of us agree made better music in the show-verse. While they had multiple performances (all of them iconic), here are the two most famous ones:

Pentatonix Collab

In 2022, Yunho, San, and Jongho were invited to collab with Pentatonix on a song called A Little Space (featuring a Korean verse):

Original OSTs

About a year ago, Jongho performed his first OST live, Gravity for the show Reborn Rich - it's absolutely stunning and powerful with an explosive chorus and soft verses and I wish I could've heard it live when they were last on tour:

1 month ago, A Day was released for the show Lovely Runner which is, for now, his most recent OST release and (unlike Gravity), this song actually gets used well by the show and is played during many pivotal scenes (especially in the latter half of the show):

[olivereliocorcordium1983]

Now that I have gotten out of the fanfic bubble for a minute, let me just say, that one: I am not very happy with this woman who decided to come into Armie's life and pull this shit with him after everything that has happened to him. Why? yes, I know Armie is a big boy his life is his and he can do what he wants I'm all for that just like Timmy.

However, it kills me to see that he is trying to better himself (like most of us in this world who were abused by someone) and trying to become a better person just for someone to come along and have written on their story this long nice thing about Armie.

Just to turn around and be dumb as hell and write, "super interested in psychopaths" Armie is not a psychopath. Like most of us who end up abused, he is a human being trying to better himself, and become a better version of himself after the fact. And try his best to see the better in people but end up with people who either

want there 15 minutes of fame, because they heard about all the crap that was going on with him and saw and thought to themselves "oh my god! drama let me see for myself what this is about." Hello serial killer lovers of Jeffery Dahmer, Ted Bundy ect.

They only want to be with you because either you are rich as hell and want that big green and will sweet talk your way into it. Having no actual care in the world for the other person at all. Or you have something else that the person wants.

We find someone and think, "okay this is it. Maybe I will try just one more time. Maybe this time will be different." just for them to cheat, lie, and make excuses for their actions because they don't want to take accountability.

Which just instills for those of us who have to or are trying to rewire our thinking from the abuse, that this is just another person who proved to us that we can't open up to anyone. And that there probably isn't a real genuine human being out there who will love us (other than our mommas, grandmas and sisters if you have them in your life or at all) for just us and actually want to see us happy, and actually want to be with us. Instead of adding to the already warped way we end up seeing the world thanks to the abusers.

Now let me clairify this: I am not talking about the "I'm gonna die alone." #foreveralone bs. that people do when they can't stand to be by themselves. NO. I am talking about actually have been alone, can stand and be okay with being alone but, want to experience a real loving relationship that actually lasts with someone who isn't toxic.

It breaks my heart that both Timmy and Armie have to result to having people like this around them in their lives. Or that these people end up finding them. Both of them deserve to be happy, healthy and more importantly they deserve to be with people who will treat them like they deserve. For whom they actually are and not the way Hollywood perceives them to be.

And I have to say after all this shit.... Armie you need to get with Timmy, you two need to go snag Luca and hop your asses on a plane get far away from Hollywood. Go back to Crema, turn off your damn phones and just breath for awhile and this is not me hinting at the sequel as much as I would love that.

These two men need to be around each other again and a hell of a lot more often to keep both of them from doing stupid shit. Like this. Seriously, guys I love you both but you need to focus on yourselves, Armie (your kids) rather than getting into PR bs and having toxic people invade your spaces. Stop jumping pussy and get back to talking about the things that matter. 🙄🙄

Luca, I know you are a busy man, but could you please at some point when you are not so busy to kidnap your boys and take them back to Italy with you.

And Two: WHO IS READY FOR THE CRAZINESS TO GET BACK TO SOME RESEMBLENCE OF NORMALCY? SHOW OF HANDS ANYBODY? 🙌🏻

[girllookingoutwindow]

Rewatching thoughs of 3x06:

Portia chaperoning Polin is a hell of fun.

I like Luke Newton acting but the way he always enters in the rooms always make me feel off. Like, that I can't believe it. Lmao.

The ring and the tint in her hand was beautiful. Like LW was between them, and part of the holly matrimony as well.

Sheeps are better than the old man, Cressida.

Why Violet dress looks same that the flowerpots?

Love siblings fight. Eloise is right, Gregory it's the best brother.

Very small? You're going to marry? What's small about that?

It's not just gossip Eloise. Maybe Pen was just a teenager that more power she understood but LW is a part of her. I know what writing means. You cannot ask a writer to stop, it's like asking to kill a part of their soul. A part that even you Eloise love.

I love the Queen. She reminds me my piano teacher where I was a kid trying to look angry with me.

Prudence being hormonal and jealous it's fun.

Portia is the best character of this show. After Penelope of course.

Dreams? She's right. Maybe I will do a set of gifs of that. Portia has the right feeling. Better than me? The majority of parents are worst than that.

I love Benedict, but I never like what the show does with him. Idk. He deserves better.

Torture Colin? Maybe it's because you can't accept it?

What the story about the club? I never understood what they were trying to do with them?

Ah, Polin looks so cute in the chapel. Hate when shows do the the reason to not marry thing. It's so lame.

Lady D / cockblock

She says she loves him and he looks happy but he doesn't believe him. Love Polin dancing, cute.

Cressida saying to Eloise the same Penelope did. Ohhh.

I want to eat chocolate now Mr Finch. Bad idea.

I don't understand why they destroyed Francesca story that way. Violet was right after all.

Pen, don't destroy them. 🥺

She said to him that she loved him and now he writes again. Colin is so a wife.

I liked green more, Portia.

You cannot stop writing, she's right. Love her friendship. She had the most beautiful dress.

Why Cressida father is always screaming? It looks like someone that doesn't go to the toilet frequently.Cressida doesn't know how to write, what suprise!

Tilly is beautiful.

Colin is searching for Pen. Don't worry boy, she's going to be there. I love that he's always searching for her.

Oh , Prudence! You don't need a reason to cry.

The flowers wer cool. The bugs were better. LW won.

Dancing again! They're that couple that always dance together.

Violet is bad in lying. Why changed Fran story? I liked the idea of slow love.

Lady D and Eloise are jealous sisters. He was a child, but I understand her, maybe blaming him was a way to protect herself of the pain.

Paul is very direct. Don't waste any time.

And still dancing. Cute. I love the colour of Cressida 's dress but it looks cheap. Where is Fife? I wanted someone to punch him!

Polin problems with the dancing? Foreshadowing and writing conflict. Worth it of you? I forget adding that part today.

I love how LW has so many fans. The Q is me when one of my students tries to cheat in a test.

Oh worry Colin!!! The drama!!!

Eloise and Penelope are a chaotic duo. I knew Pen wouldn't be able to stop writing, it's more strong than her. Yes, it's about having a voice. But the smile in her face. She feels alive again.

Colin!? Soap opera! I don't know but I can't take Luke seriously when he's trying to look angry. Makes me laugh every time.

[cheriecelestial]

Melody of a Muse

disclaimer *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ angst, eventual mature content, crude humour, strong language, typos, grammatical errors, cliché moments

genre *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ drama, romance, Band AU, Reverse Harem

a/n *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ because I think I could take all four of ‘em. Tho I seriously need to come up with a better title than that lame ass one I’m currently using (I’m accepting suggestions)

╰ ┈➤ Chapter List

╰ ┈➤ Master list

Chapter One

𝔊oing live in ..

3

2

1

"It's ya girl Irris. How's everyone feeling today ?" The blonde girl chirped infront of the camera as she subconsciously adjusted a lock of hair in front of her face. As soon as she logged in, comments flooded into her chat. She glanced at the numbers on her neon screen and smiled, satisfied with the viewership. She started her stream with usual one sided small talk and usual pleasantries. Her hand reached out to adjust the light source to directly focus on her face. Y/N, or as she went by online - Irris, noticed that she might've applied a bit too much highlighter that gleamed under the pastel purple monochromatic light. But of course that didn't bother the fans one bit , in fact they probably felt that she looked like a fairy. Despite how burdening it might have felt sometimes, Y/N was used to public attention and enjoyed it thoroughly.

" Today is a very special day. A day worth celebrating.", the girl beamed and the comments seemed to pour in rapidly. Fans just grew more curious by the second as to what she was going to announce. Y/N skimmed through the comments suggesting the most bizarre things, from relationship announcements to pregnancies to switching career paths. The wild guesses earned a chuckle out of the blonde woman.

"No no it's none of that but first - " she started with her hand disappearing from the audience's line of view. The woman took her sweet-sweet time in retrieving the items she prepared for her stream. The reactions of the impatient and curious crowd never failed to fascinate her.

"Ta-da" she smiled as she produced a bottle of strawberry champagne and a wine glass. A wine glass ? What for ? asked the audience.

"I have some good news and awesome news. Which one first ?" She winked playfully at the camera. She could almost hear her fans the excitement of her fans resonating from the chat.

" So good news first. My contract with Abssosque Entertainment is up so I'm officially free and the awesome news is ..." she trailed off as if waiting for imaginary drum roll ,"I got an offer from Teyvat Entertainment and I'll be a part of the Teyvat Family soon !" On hearing this the chat went nuts.

Irrisisluv : YASSSSKEHAKD QUEEN PURR💅💅✨

Nyako7 : The queen finally getting the treatment she deserves (๑>◡<๑)

Kai00 : SLAYYYYY

Irrissimp : Now that our goddess is out . Time to burn that shit down. Get the gasoline boys.

Gangstagurl23 : CONGRATSSSSS BAE

Icantstoptwinkling : * insert Dobby voice* Mother is free .

Irrissteponme : Irris lookin fine as fuck like Excuse me? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry.

Princessmurderkill : Ahakdhabskalja I can finally die in peace .

Mikosslut : Yaemiko x Irris when ?

Kaeyaismyreligion : OMGGGGHAJHSKA YASS YAEMIKO X IRRIS IS A NEED . MOMMYx2

Childessluttywaist : Those Teyvat bitches better treat our goddess the way she deserves or else imma commit a felony.

" Yes yes I know. I'm excited too. I wonder what Teyvat Ent. has in store for me. But I know that I am going to thoroughly enjoy my time there for a fact." After replying to a few more comments and addressing some questions, she poured herself a glass and champagne and did a cheered a toast towards the camera. Drinking on stream was a big no-no but she thought that it could be excused just this once.

" Hey Y/N have you seen my -" she heard her door creak open and saw her brother, Dainsleif. " Oh I didn't realise that you were on a stream. I'll come back later." He quickly apologised and turned to leave

" No no Dain. Wait. We were just celebrating. Come sit" She patted her hand on the couch and smiled encouragingly. Dainsleif paused for a moment and then walked in and took his spot next to her. " Hello guys" he started awkwardly, somewhat unfamiliar with streaming.

However Y/N smile dropped when she saw her chat. The excitement and bubbling joy of her fans had turned into ruthless and horrible hate comments. She bit the inside of her cheek till she tasted blood. Her brother noticed how the atmosphere changed and her sister's sunny disposition turned gloomy. " I should go. I have work anyway ." He said with a melancholic smile. Y/N looked up and nodded wordlessly. She knew that resisting would only look her brother look bad. She wanted to say how the people are wrong about their perception of her brother, how he wasn't the one at fault, how all of this was so unfair. But she couldn't.

Celebrities can't do that. They can't be angry, sad or even frustrated. God forbid they exhibit any other emotion apart from unfaltering happiness. However there wasn't anything she could do about it, there was no way to change the way people thought. So as much as she disliked it, she just accepted it as her fate and went with the flow - switching her brain off and putting on her practiced and perfectly curated selling smile. It left a bad taste in her mouth but that's what people liked so who was she to complain .

" Anyways people. Let's not dampen the mood." She clapped her hands and continued as if nothing happened. After the 'celebration', she continued with her usual stream content. And as she kept talking, the chat gradually regained its joyous fervour. About an hour's worth of streaming, she said her goodbyes and wrapped up her stream.

" Fucking finally" Y/N got up and stretched. " You done ?" She heard her brother's voice from the living room. She walked into the living room and saw him lounging on the couch, watching some hallmark romance film. " What tells ?" She plopped down and cuddled into the fluffy blanket on the couch. "You never cuss on camera", he stated in a manner of explanation and she scoffed ," You know 'cause I got manners and shit ." She spoke in a tone she never used on camera. On air, her voice was always atleast a couple octaves higher than her real voice.

Her brother chuckled at the stark difference between Irris and Y/N, consequently earning a smack from her. Y/N titled her head onto her brother's shoulder and said in a somewhat melancholic tone " I'm going to miss this."

" Me too"

" Can't you come with me ?" She sprang up and looked at him pleadingly. Her brother just groaned wearily," You know I can't. I made a promise."  A promise. Right. With the person who got him in the mess he was. Y/N was bitter that her brother cared about that person enough for basically ruin his career. But deep down she knew that it wasn't the person that caused him to do it, it was his own sense of morality. She sometimes really hated how righteous her brother could be. She looked around the room and saw all the cardboard boxes labelled with her stuff. Her brother would have been able to leave that god awful company and come with her, had that promise not held him back.

" Whatever"

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

With the final riff of Diluc's guitar and the bang of the drums , the lead singer hit his last note . Kaeya and Childe whooped at the crowd and they cheered back . The members waved at their audience as their leader Zhongli , better known as Morax , delivered the ending thank you message. The arena was filled with applause and chants of their names . Kaeya tapped his mic and began speaking," And as promised." He looked to Diluc who rolled his eyes at his brother's antics but nonetheless took his guitar pick, kissed it and tossed it into the crowd. All of them left their spots and stood at the edge of the stage in frenzy to catch it. " Everyone thank you for coming ."

" We are DCKZ !"

And with the final cheer, the stage fell dark. The members hurried backstage and were instantly flocked by staff, offering them water bottles, towels and what not. " Man I'm beat." Childe, the main rapper, huffed. "Me too" Kaeya hummed in agreement.

"Today's  show was stunning. Good work everyone." Albedo, their manager, clapped his hand together and offered them an encouraging smile. "Bedooooooo-" Childe whined and tried to engulf the shorter blonde man in a bear hug but was pulled back by Diluc grabbing the back of his collar. " Go shower first you sweaty piece of shit"

"Right back 'atcha Luc" he scowled and shook Diluc’s hand off. Albedo let out a small sigh which sounded somewhat like a tired laugh and waited for them to settle everything amongst themselves. He was way too used to this by now.

After everyone was done with showering and a change of fresh clothes, Albedo waited for them in their van parked backstage. The drive was started with the usual - Zhongli trying to catch some rest with his head leaned back against the seat. Kaeya and Childe bickering about something and jointly annoying Diluc, who in turn snapped at them.

Childe's phone chimed with an app notification and his eyes widened. "Everybody hush !" He commanded loudly , waking up Zhongli in the process.

" Wha-" Zhongli mumbled in a daze. Kaeya peeked over the main rapper's shoulder and saw what he was watching ," Simp" is all he said. Diluc raised his eyebrow in questioning. He acted like he didn't like the drama but deep down he really enjoyed it. Especially considering that his deepest darkest secret was that he often rented a hotel room to go and watch every episode of 'Keeping up with the Shogun' so that no one finds out and teases him about it.

" It's some YouTuber he follows. Irris, is it ?" Zhongli guessed and the ginger nodded wordlessly without looking up from the screen.

" What's so special about her ?" Diluc scoffed. According to him, all YouTubers and influencers were the same - pretty faces with zero substance and a bad case of celebrity complex. And in his defence, he had never come across anyone who disputed his belief so he  had no reason to believe that she would be any different either. He saw influencers as pretentious, vain, overpaid salespeople and the word invoked images of reality celebrity, artifice, undeserved riches, wastefulness and  textbook narcissism . And Childe liking her made her all the more repulsive to Diluc.

" Don't you dare disrespect my waifu !" Childe barked defensively, causing Diluc to merely roll his eyes and look away. Kaeya turned to Childe and grabbed his shoulders," Hey buddy we've talked about this. You can't wife random women you've never met . Hmm ?" He cooed as if talking to a five year old though given his behaviour he might as well be one. " She's not random ! She's Irris ! And plus I've met her at a YouTube seminar once" Childe protested, cradling his phone closer to his chest almost as if his phone were Irris and he was protecting her from his fellow band members.

" Everyone please just calm down." The three turned their attention to their leader who had visibly grown tired of their bickering. " Whatever I bet she's just as fake as the others" Diluc muttered to himself and sunk further back into his seat , not wanting to debate the topic any further. " What did you just say you emo fatherless edgelord motherf-" The youngest fumed as looked like he was ready to pounce on the red head any second.

" I believe -" the four were interjected by their Manager's voice from the driver's seat. He had been listening to them much like he often did, however he never felt the need to intervene in their conversations. So naturally, everyone was surprised at Albedo's words. " - it's unfair to built a prejudiced perception of her on your previous understanding of influencers and Tartaglia's liking. Additionally, her job entails multiple facets such as modelling, streaming, hosting variety shows apart from just being an influencer and she also so happens to be a proficient dancer. So I think it's best you research a bit more and form a more educated opinion."

He's totally a hardcore stan. The thought resonated in band members' minds in unison.

They silently agreed to not discuss the topic further in fear of offending their manager. Albedo, though younger than all of them, held respect in everyone's eyes. He was a skilled worker who had gotten them out of numerous potential scandals and becoming victims of the cancel culture. He was someone who did his job a little so diligently that Childe sometimes questioned if he even had a social life at this point. But Kaeya and Diluc knew that he was going out with a sales manager from their company and regularly babysat his colleague's daughter. Heavens know where he gets the time for that.

"Diluc -" Childe looked up from the screen with a look of sheer surprise and glee. " What ?" Diluc asked annoyed.

" Can you please tell Jean that I love her ?"

" What the fuck -" And before Diluc could react further Childe added ," Irris is coming to Teyvat"

" HUH ?!"

taglist - @sleepykittycx / @kentply

[xa176]

Here are some of my fav LIs from each season of litg (we all have different and similar opinions, please be respectful)

•S1: Jake and Talia. Jake was a slow burn but really did care for Mc and was just afraid to show it until last minute, coupled up with him the moment I had a chance, plus when Cherrygate happened… Jake put a protective arm around you as you walked away from your current partner. Talia is so gorgeous and thoughtful, when my Mc was coupled up with Mason, him and Levi started getting into it and Talia told them to stop swinging their dicks and made sure my Mc was ok. I of course replayed it and took the Talia route 😊 have not regretted it.

•S2: BOBBY!! No words can explain when my s2 Mc and him just meshed together. Literally so thoughtful, kind, loving and funny. He really was head over heels for Mc in the end and really cared for his friends! When drama would happen, he would be the first to try fix things together.

•S3: Harry and AJ. Harry is cute looking and I love his backstory of his family basically saying he is adopted and he has two other siblings (I think, it’s been awhile and I of course am not able to replay it) he explains he such a good brother and his old t-shirt looked kind of cute on my Mc. AJ gives off golden retriever energy and she’s so beautiful! Her style is beyond stunning and playing her route was heart warming for me.

•S4: Youcef. Now towards the end of the season I realized I’m a sucker for slow burns. At first I thought he and Bruno were ugly when they showed up in the hot tub date. But as we got to see more of his personality somewhere in between… I had to make my Mc couple up with him. But seriously… fusebox did him REALLY dirty. I remember someone saying this… every time he smiles he looks like he’s in pain. He kind of does tbh. I love his personality but he could have looked better. Also playing his route is the sweetest and the only time you are on track with his route is when you say honesty is the best policy when talking with Tiffany, Bruno and him.

•S5: now f*ck this season! My Mc coupled up with Suresh and took her f*cking money because screw that season. Worst season ever.

•S6: Lewie, Bella and Andy. Lewie is major Golden Retriever energy, I just find him so attractive that I made my Mc immediately coupled with him right away, he just wants everyone to get along and when things go south I think his Captain instincts kick in and try to keep the vibes going. Bella is the most patient woman ever in all the seasons, she literally waited for Mc. She’s just so out of this world too! Her smile is just… UGHHH I WAS SO IN LOVE THAT I HAD TO DO HER ROUTE TOO!! WORTH IT! Now Andy, he was the most popular casa boy this season, I mean look at him! How can anyone resist his smile? And his little prank you see if you brought him back to the main villa on movie night and his little dance, ugh my heart. (I had to play the Ryan route so I wouldn’t have felt guilty for leaving Lewie to be dumped) and he works with animals, I love animals!!

•S7: Joyo. This season wasn’t really worth it since it lost all its excitement after Mc went into the main villa. Joyo immediately caught my eye so I stayed loyal and now I’m replaying for a Raphael route.

•S8: Claudia, Bea and Max. Claudia is so gorgeous AND SHE DESERVED MY MC MORE THAN THEO. My opinion on Theo was that he was still a playboy and disrespected Claudia by trying to flirt with my Mc, like Theo I don’t want you, I want your girl you are not treating correctly. Bea is so gorgeous and if you aren’t on her route, she’s literally your best friend and you get the option to have a little date with her when you guys are in casa together. As I am writing this, I notice that I’m a huge sucker for golden retriever vibes. Max’s color yellow def suits him! Adorable and I found it funny when he pied off your last LI (in my case, it was Jin) and basically showed he wouldn’t back down just because Mc and the last LI had history.

•S9: I have no opinions so far on my favorites but Natasha be looking like she could be a bit of me. She’s beautiful. I just hope Fusebox brings back people from later seasons and people we weren’t able to romance at all. Like being Eddie back, he did not deserve to go and how he experienced love island. I want him to have a chance with my Mc this season.

[alvie-pines]

i was wondering who keeps posting all the minecraft diaries onto my dash. man. i never did end up finishing that i should do that sometime. you were the reason i first ever watched it

oh wow! im flattered that i influenced you :3

mcd is a deeply flawed series but it has just enough potential to drive me crazyyy

imo it does decline in quality in season 3, but thats mainly because i disagree with a lot of the creative choices made in that season, both visually and writing-wise.

im honestly a season 1 supremacist, i think it was charming.

also, i will FOREVER be shaking my fist at the sky over what they did to zane in mystreet and mcd s3. he was SUCH a great villain--because despite existing in a fantasy world and having goals such as "being more magically powerful", he is fundamentally a villain who is very real: someone who uses systematic power and privilege to benefit themselves and hurt others. that balance of dramatic fantasy goals with extremely realistic means of achieving them makes for a GREAT villain. not to mention the drama kestin howard brings to the role as his voice actor! it all makes him a really compelling and fun villain. but jess seems to not quite understand what makes her own character so good, and keeps fuckin. declawing him. and in mcd s3 its the worst because she clearly still WANTS him to be a scary villain but she doesnt understand what made him scary in the first place! it wasnt his apathy to the destruction he caused, it was that coupled with how easy it was for him to get away with it, with the sheer amount of privilege he wields as the wealthy son of the lord of o'khasis and the high priest of the region's major religion. take that away (by, oh, i dont know, making the world think he's dead?) and he's all bark, no bite. he's just another small-time sadist going on a rampage across the continent, waiting for a hero to take him down. he no longer looms as a larger-than-life threat. it makes him feel, in comparison to his earlier appearances, like a child throwing a tantrum.

oh boy i didnt mean to . talk that long about zane.

its just, i love him. top tier bastard. deserves to be written by a better author. seriously jess give him to me I UNDERSTAND HIMM

[golbrocklovely]

i saw someone on twitter seriously have a go bc snc were focusing more on their social life than their professional life. like what? thats insane. they’ve worked 24/7 for the last 10 years. they deserve to enjoy themselves for a while.

and i have to laugh. people saying theyre going to stop watching snc and laugh as their careers fumble? babes, if they depended solely on yt views for income they’d be uploading far more frequently. besides, they have 12 million followers and easily bag a million views on a video in the first 24 hours. a few dozen fans boycotting them is not going to make even an ounce of difference. but hey, if it makes you feel better, all power to you. (“you” being those fans ofc). not to mention they have investments and other business endeavours outside of youtube. your online hissy fit will do jack shit. (again, “you/your” being those fans)

:)

i think that's the thing i find so funny about this fandom. first off almost 99% of the drama is started by twitter. or at the very least they're the loudest at all times. they also think a lot of us feel the same way as them just bc it's an echo chamber over there. so when they all start calling snc out on something or think that that everyone feels the same way, they feel like they are making an impact by saying they'll leave or stop supporting if snc don't meet their demands.

and babes, if you really aren't enjoying your time here, you can go. it's fine. no one is holding a gun to your head and telling you to stay. but don't expect snc to do everything you want them to do. it's just not gonna happen.

sometimes i don't get this fandom. bc look, when i was here back in 2020/21, i got some of the backlash that the boys were facing. i understood parts of it, for sure. but there was a lot, and i do mean a lot, of extra shit that went on that made it much worse. and that side of the fandom… they cried wolf too many times. you don't get to do that repeatedly and then think that snc are gonna stick around to actually hear what you gotta say.

and especially rn, what exactly are ppl pissed off about?? bc look, you wanna say you miss when they were posting a lot more, sure. i get that. i miss them posting more often too. but you gotta also realize maybe WHY they aren't posting so much. and blaming their new gfs isn't one of those reasons.

they have explained that they basically had little to no personal life at one point, that all they were doing is working. that they didn't get to spend time with their friends or gfs bc they were working so much. sam, the man that never addresses drama, is asking fans to cool it. he full on said that he was miserable a year or so ago bc of all the stress he was under. and then colby, the man that doesn't cry ever, had a full on break down in 2022. and didn't even admit it until midway thru 2023. he doesn't read comments anymore bc they get so bad sometimes. or how about that colby even stated that he didn't even want to tell this fandom that he had cancer bc he knew how everyone would react if he went bald………. what does that tell you???? that we aren't trustworthy. that snc feel the need to pull back bc we are all toxic.

at what point do we turn the mirror on ourselves and realize hey, maybe i've taken things too far??

and reality is, a LOT of this only popped up once they both got gfs. a lot of fans say those two aren't to blame or they're not upset or they don't actually want to date snc, but at the end of the day them finding someone to love was the straw that broke the camels back. and you gotta sit back and wonder why does seeing snc happy make me upset and want to leave?? (if someone reading this is one of those fans)

bc rn, i'm more into snc than i have been in a while. i want to see them happy and healthy and enjoying life. sure, colby being in his feels (or sam even) was a fun time, sure. i love me some balcony tweets. but at the end of the day, i don't want him jaded and unable to find love again. why the fuck would i wish that on someone i love dearly??? same with sam. sure. i can joke about kat and how i want her new song to tear him a new one, but i still want him to be happy. i want him to be able to move on from his relationship with her. and that's not a cut at her. no one should be stuck feeling like shit. take it from the person that has been like that for years and still really is in one way or another: i wouldn't wish heartache on my worst enemy. so why would i do that to someone i say i care about??

but back to your ask lol

yeah, the twitter fandom thinks it's all high and mighty but it lost that spark by 2022. their words mean nothing, snc have pulled back bc that side of the fandom sucks (but also bc they want a break), and now they are facing the consequences of their actions and don't like it. womp womp. there's still almost 12 million of us babes. a couple 100 of you leaving ain't gonna do shit.

[lunarspiral1127]

X-Men 97 episode 4, here are my thoughts. *SPOILERS*

So, the Motendo part of the episode. I love the classic video game graphics incorporated into the show. It reminds me of Marvel vs. Capcom or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade games. I like seeing Jubilee and Abscissa (beta tester Jubilee) using their powers in new and better ways compared to the previous 90s show and seeing how the fight. I like that Sunspot finally did something for once, even if it was near the end of that part. The references, seeing Spiral and Mojo again, Jubilee and Sunspot kissing, that's fine. Hopefully, this new relationship won't get any unnecessary drama like the other ones have been getting so far.

However....

I was way more invested in Lifedeath Part 1 cause it felt way more important to me, and it was about Storm and Forge, two characters who I like a lot more than Jubilee and Sunspot in the show. Plus, the "lesson" or "moral of the story" in Motendo didn't make sense cause Jubilee just wanted to celebrate her 18th birthday her own way, but Magneto said no. He was the one in the wrong. So where did this "grow up and don't be stuck in the past" lesson come from? Cause she likes playing video games? The rest of the X-Men were totally cool with celebrating her birthday. It was only MAGNETO that didn't approve of going to the arcade, and he's the leader! Honestly, if the moral was properly introduced, this part would've been better.

But with Lifedeath Part 1, I wish it had a full episode instead of half cause it was so damn good. Their bond, the serious tone, the voice acting, the horseback riding, hell I'm shipping them already!

It was a shame that Forge made the original designs for the gun that X-Cutioner used to nullify Storm's powers (even though he didn't make the weapons themselves), which I don't blame Storm being mad at him for that. If the designs didn't exist, she wouldn't have lost her powers. So, that slap was totally understandable. However, I also feel bad for Forge cause he genuinely felt guilty for making them and wants to fix what he did. But, I think in Storm's mind, he's using her for his path of redemption, which she's not okay with. But, they worked something out in the comics, so I'm sure that'll happen here. Unfortunately, they didn't stay together and it got messy in the comics, so fingers crossed that things would be different?

Cause, this is like the third romance I've seen with Storm, and the last two from the previous 90s show didn't work out cause the first one was in a future timeline with Logan that got rewritten, and the other was with an alien king who she just met in a day and turned out to be an evil slaver which she hates. So....third times the charm? Cause Storm deserves love, too.

Also, the cliffhanger ending....FREAKING ADVERSARY!!! Should've known that demon was gonna pop up in that episode if Forge is in it. Seriously, I screaming after seeing that cliffhanger.Just one problem, though.

WHY THE HELL IS PART 2 NOT COMING OUT NEXT WEEK?! WHY IS IT IN TWO WEEKS?!?! You can't just end it on a major cliffhanger with the Adversary and Storm, and Forge in danger only to go to a completely different episode next week. If the next episode isn't gonna be good or have my boy Nightcrawler in it, then that's some bullcrap.

So, yeah. Liked the episode, but I liked the second half way more and wished it had a full episode.

[haikyuuwaifu]

Ch.23

Genre: Drama, Angst

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Parental Neglect, Attempted Gaslighting, Violence

MASTERLIST

SURPRISE GUESTS

Y/n had never really had the best relationship with her parents. She’d learned early on, that they were never going to be the kind of parents she was supposed to have. The kind of parents Tsumu had. Her earliest memory, was Y/n sitting at the counter in her Nana’s kitchen, learning how to cook. As she grew, Y/n found herself spending more than what was considered a “normal” amount of time with her grandparents instead of her actual parents. As a child, she didn’t understand, she assumed they were working to take care of her, and needed nana and papa to help keep an eye on her. When she was a preteen, she’d learned that her parents simply forgot to use protection and had a child at a young age. 

Both of them were still in college at the time, goofing off, and unfortunately, not taking their lives seriously. Her father was assured a job in the family business, and her mother knew she’d be a rich man’s wife. Unfortunately for the two of them, Papa made her uncle his right hand man, and forced her father to work his way up from the bottom. That forced Y/n’s mother to look for work, which resulted in Y/n spending her younger years with her nana. 

Looking at the sight of her parents now, standing at the entrance of Osamu’s shop, made Y/n’s insides churn with building fury. The sight of Himiko’s parents behind them didn’t make her feel any better. They were just as shitty as her parents had been. “Aren’t you going to greet us.” Y/n’s mother sniffed, turning her nose down at her daughter. Y/n chose to ignore her, in favor of moving toward the counter. She needed to stand as far away from them as possibly, for their safety of course. “Your mother is speaking to you, useless girl.” He father sneered, as Atsumu let out a shout. “Don’t fucking talk to her like that.” He hissed, moving to step toward them. Kuroo held his arm, pulling his boyfriend back and away from the two couples. “This is the place you’re going to buy out Uncle.” Himiko declared, giving Osamu a cruel look. Y/n’s father looked around, nothing but distain on his face as he took the place in. Himiko’s father patted his daughters hand, giving Osamu a sinister grin. “Himi’s told us you’ve been having some trouble staying in the black.” He grunted, as Osamu’s hands shook with rage. “We figured we’d do you a favor and give you an off.” The man declared, pulling a stack of papers from his briefcase. “This place is a hovel, so we’ll probably level it and turn it into an office building.” Y/ns father supplied, as she watched her mother sneer at the paintings on the walls. 

“I’ve been trying to tell you for months Samu, owning a shop like this isn’t good for your image. Even if it was your dream, you’re going to be poor for the rest of your life.” Himiko sniffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I’ve spoken to daddy, and when you apologize, he’ll help you get started in our company!” “My daughter deserves to be with the best, and this,” Himiko’s mother sniffed, “is not it.” Osamu remained silent, his eyes on the floor as he listened to the older couples make their comments. Behind the counter, Y/n could feel her shoulders shaking, as the rage continued to build. After a few minutes, Y/n’s father nudged Osamu, grunting loudly. “Sign the papers boy. We’re going to buy you out whether you want to or not, and this place is a shithole.” “Fuck you.” Y/n sneered, grabbing a plate, and smashing it against the counter. Her mother gasped dramatically, clutching her necklace as her daughter glared at them. “That is no way to talk to your father.” Y/n only sneered, stomping toward the two of them. Pulling her fist back, she grunted, as she pushed it forward hitting her father in the face. The man clutched his cheek, hissing as he bent over. “You two are disgusting.” She hissed, glaring at her mother. “And the two of you,” She snarled, waving her hands at Himiko’s parents. “You should be fucking ashamed of yourselves! Raising a fucking cunt for a daughter.” She screamed, reaching out to grab Himiko. Himiko screamed, covering her face. She had thought Y/n was going to hit her, but all the woman did was push her over the table she was standing in front of. 

“I am so sick, and so tired, of you all ruining my fucking life.” She screamed, picking up a chair. Atsumu moved, gripping her tight as Kuroo took the chair out of her hands. “Why cant you all just fuck off and leave me alone.” she screeched, her cheeks stained with tears. “I’m going to call the police!” Himiko’s mother yelled, attempting to reach for her phone in her bag. “Go ahead and do that darling, I’d like to have a chat with them anyway.” A gravely voice called, bringing everyone’s attention to the doorway. Standing next to Osamu’s mother, was a woman he’d only seen pictures of. Himiko had always made it known that he would never meet her grandmother. Looking at the intimidating woman, he could see why. The older adults in the restaurant knew, if she was here...they were fucked. 

Prev/Next

[firecrackerhh]

I kinda get the vibe from Squidiot that in their mind, it’s fine to harass someone if they’re fucking proship, which would mean that they would be pro-harassment.

Calling someone out simply for being a proshipper when you have no actual evidence of said proshipper doing anything bad to actual minors is harassment.

Sure, call them out for racism or transphobia or whatever if that’s applicable but…I dunno man, I think they’re just under the mindset that call outs actually do any good, when more often than not they’re just full of petty bullshit no one outside of themselves cares about.

I don’t think this motherfucker gets it, the Charlastor shipper who offed themselves may have not been a proshipper, (tho it makes me wonder if they were, just how quickly would Squid change their tune) but in general, harassing someone over shipping drama is legitimately fucking retarded and anyone who does that has to be the biggest fucking loser on the planet.

For the love of every deity known to mankind, get a fucking productive hobby.

Hmm…yknow, I wonder if Squidiot got HARASSED and not just “harassed” over their objectively retarded bullshit takes, would they suddenly change their fucking mind? I’m certainly not gonna do it nor do I encourage it (let’s be real, people this fucking delusional can’t have their minds changed on fucking anything. Bitch could say the sun is actually purple and no one could make them think different) but boy…

The fact they think harassing anyone over anything in general actually does anything kinda gives me the vibe that in real life they have to be really fucking annoying. God help whoever knows them irl.

If someone has certain things they do you don’t like, constantly getting on their ass about it won’t do Jack shit other than make them do it more out of spite or they just won’t tell you shit and be more quiet about it, actually changing a person’s behavior is not the responsibility of the people around them. If someone’s behavior bothers you that bad, if you truly believe someone’s behavior about something is rancid and they refuse to be better about it, (especially if they’re homophobic or abusive or whatever) then just cut them off, they aren’t worth it and they deserve to die alone miserable anyway.

And if what you’re bitching about is actual fucking retard shit then honestly the person should cut you out of their life and you seriously need to find a better hobby, or even better, find a fucking psychologist cuz anyone who thinks some rando shipping…I dunno, the main ship of black butler is an actual predator causing harm to society seriously needs to get their shit together cuz man, fiction isn’t a reflection on your real life morals!

It’s always hilarious the people who do believe fiction reflects your morals usually have shitty fucking beliefs themselves.

Bet if some shitty cartoon got made about an anti harassing a proshipper or whatever these fucking ghouls would consider it the second coming of the golden age of animation.

Wretched, these people are wretched ghouls who practically get off to seeing other people fucking miserable, they get some sick thrill out of making shitty fucking call outs against fucking nobodies (not that call outs by themselves do Jack shit anyway) and these fucking delusional freaks actually think they’re good people, I really do think being an anti should count as a form of mental illness at this point, no one with a healthy mind thinks like this.

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

man the netflix skull island show could IMMEDIATELY be so much better if it took itself at least SOMEWHAT more seriously and didn't have everyone almost constantly quipping, bantering, doing whedonisms and just being so... inauthentic. I know this for a fact because all the cool parts that I actually really liked are the parts that DON'T HAVE all the fucking quipping. like it makes sense when just like, a couple of characters specifically do this as like their own bit or their own coping mechanism, or it only happens sometimes but here it just becomes EVERYONE'S thing. It's damn there EVERYONE'S default and it's SO obvious. we're one step away from the fucking dog monster learning to talk so it can deliver a bad one liner. even the girl who had a hugely traumatic experience right before THEN being alone and isolated on an island for like OVER half her fucking life and should NOT still somehow be the quippy quick-talker type, somehow IS and honestly, I could buy that with more of a justification! Like, having it obviously be just her mimicking whatever one of the boys does, because she's excited to have friendly human interaction again but is extremely out of practice. and like, even all of this could be fine if the show didn't have such edgy serious and shocking moments where it wants you to be deeply invested in drama and stakes! you can't expect me to genuinely get invested in that stuff if you won't treat it with the gravitas it actually deserves! at this rate you may as well have made this a wacky action-adventure kids show, that would be better than trying to have your cake and eat it too! god i can't even really blame this on like "mcu-ification of media" or something because like. pretty much any mcu movie, for all their faults, is actually still more bearable than how this show handles it. not to mention this is where fuckin. KING KONG HIMSELF lives and we're fuckin. BARELY EVER showing him until the last two episodes because we have to focus on a bunch of people who barely act like people. despite how anyone genre savvy should know that you're fighting an uphill battle with putting human drama in kaiju media. You have to make that shit COUNT. you have to make the characters COUNT. or else nobody gives a flying fuck and everybody is just there for the monsters and creatures! (see: me coming out of this just wishing this could all be a mockumentary that only involves the wildlife and the native people at most) also they alluded to how Mike's not really into girls like twice. and then not a fucking peep about him being gay. it's 2023. this is a US show. We don't have to be so fucking coy about these things anymore. i held out a tiny sliver of hope and for What? An extremely unsatisfying cliffhanger ending? God. GOD.

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 1x05 review -- if i can't have conrad there's always jere

Belly, I'm sure they gave you a schedule. You knew there was going to be dancing.

Also details like Belly is seemingly fine with Nicole stepping in to be her dance partner during rehearsal but she should feel if not guilty then at least awkward around her so she almost kissed Conrad.

This is why Taylor says that you're self-absorbed and don't care about anyone else, Belly.

Also, it's wild to me that your best friend will have that conversation with you and then you proceed to make a woman's funeral about yourself. Where is the self-reflection?

Like you were all "omg what am I going to text Conrad, what emoji should I put with my text" and you're just ... dancing with Nicole?

And anons want to ask why we hate Belly when we've liked messy teens before? SERENA HAD MORE SHAME. SERENA. And Serena had moments, man, where it was just like, I don't know why you're mad at Blair, you slept with her boyfriend.

"Does Jere take anything seriously?" "Yeah, food and flirting" SOUND JEALOUS, STEVEN

Every time Jeremiah is supposed to be extroverted and fun-loving and charming, I'm just like

Conrad, you MUST know that Nicole would be where Belly is since she was a deb and you took her to the deb ball last summer.

I also like the blatant advertisement for Alexa.

You two are terrible. NICOLE IS RIGHT THERE.

Then Conrad texting Belly and Belly grinning with Nicole right there?

"You think I was just a petty fuck." "You're hotter than he is." She's not wrong. All of these pretty Black women/women of colour (and girls) and these basic to ugly white men (and boys) on TV. It needs to be stopped.

"If Shayla called you right now" -- jealous boyfriends.

Nicole is the one who's being played hot and cold.

Jeremiah telling her to bring him to a Frank Ocean concert knowing that he likes Belly is not fair to her, like in terms of the drama that would cause with Conrad and Belly, I don't care because they're both being terrible but Nicole does not deserve this.

"I mean we grew up together so I always thought of her as this little kid but now ... she's not." a) that sounds way creepier than intended like some Jacob and Renesmee shit b) they honestly should've done more to indicate that he's really seeing her now. Like I obviously know he's supposed to because of all the dialogue around how she's pretty now from everyone else and "omg Belly you look SO hot" in a simple, cutesy floral tank top but I mean if it's going to be Annie and Jeff then be Annie and Jeff.

Of course Annie and Jeff actually had tension

At least be Josh and Cher

COME ON, MAN.

"I'm bummed but I'll be fine" because Belly is terrible.

Cam does not deserve the lyrics to this song he was nothing but NICE to Belly if anything this song should be playing with Cam walking away.

I just find it super lazy to rely on portraying the munchies to show how high they're supposed to be.

Is Jere supposed to be Puck or something?

Lol when your mom puts you in the friendzone with your crush.

"Well I'm sure you got a perfect score" *laughs* oh we're doing racism in this episode. And it was actually done well. Just not when it's antiblackness which isn't surprising

"How come no one ever wants to play with me?" she booped you on the nose bro.

ok finally. something that is ACTUALLY hot and cold. "i'm not waiting for you anymore" does he know she'd been waiting for him?

Also not waiting for him shouldn't then mean making out with Jere.

"What happened to the boy I loved since I was ten" well Belly either he always knew you liked him and ignored it because he didn't see you the same way even when he was idk nicer I guess or he was clueless that you liked him but either way you never had his affection before this.

Also I like how in season 2 Jere was all I USED TO LOOK UP TO YOU EVERYONE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN ME IN EVERYTHING and there is literally nothing to suggest any of those dynamics this season.

I can't fuck things up with Belly and treat her like shit but you know who I can do that to? Nicole.

Well if I can't get attention from one brother then I can from the other. "Susannah said when I was born she knew I was destined for one of her boys. I always thought it'd be Conrad" but Jere's the one in front of me so. You didn't think about him at ALL Belly.

It's funny actually watching the pool kiss because it's actually quite short and tame.

[onceuponalegendbg]

Top Ten Ace Attorney Games

So this seems appropriate given recent announcements. Note: I’ve never played the Professor Layton crossover so it will not be on this list. Can’t really rank something you never interacted with, you know? Also, goes without saying but all opinions expressed in this are fully subjective and should be taken with a grain of salt. Like, seriously, guys. I’ve warned you.

10) Apollo Justice - Okay, so I just want to say that AA4 is not a bad game, but good lord is it the one I have the most problems with. Good things first, however. I love the dynamic between Apollo and Trucy. Their banter is so fun. I like this version of Phoenix. Really seems like he’s grown a lot in the time between games due to circumstances. I feel his relationship with Trucy could have been explored more but what we do get is good. Ema’s back, and I’ll never say no to that. Klavier is a good rival for Apollo. All that said, man do I remember barely anything about any of the cases of this game. Outside the main cast I remember Lamoire, Kristoph, and that a couple of Gramaryes are in this one. That last case also just... gives me a headache if I think about it too long.

9) Justice For All - Oh boy. So outside of introducing my favorite Prosecutor of the OG trilogy, JFA is a bit meh overall. Don’t get me wrong, Case 2 with all the Fey Drama is very solid and the final case... Come on, do I really need to say how good the Engarde Case is? I don’t even hate the Berry Big Circus case as much as most people (except for the very uncomfortable love triangle, that I detest) but even I can’t deny it’s one of the weaker cases in the series and the first case is... the whole amnesia device is more annoying than clever. Again, I’m sure I’m not saying anything new here.

8) Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright - Man, I wonder if this is some form of sacrilegious putting the first game this low on the list. Honestly, there’s not much to truly criticize with this one. It’s a very solid first entry into what would grow into such a beloved franchise. But I also just don’t have a ton of things to say about it in general? At least not many that haven’t already been said by more articulate people than I. It’s a good game. Solid starting point. Weakest case is the first one but... It’s the first case. So. To be expected.

7) Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth - Admittedly, this is only so low because I love the other games more and the last case is.... unbearably long. It was brilliant of Capcom to take what is likely AA’s most popular character and give him his own games, and even better to give us characters like Kay and Lang while also giving us Tiny Franziska. We did not deserve Tiny Franziska but they gave her to us anyway. A very enjoyable foray with a new game-play style.

6) Trials and Tribulations - Oh man, I am going to get so much crap for this one. Before anyone comes at me! Yes! T&T is a near flawless entry. Genuinely, the writing for this one is insane and Dahlia is such a well used antagonist. The through line for this game is masterful. Even the third case, which is indeed the weakest case, I find some charm in. So don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that objectively this probably should have at least been in the top three. But this isn’t an objective list. This is my list. And while I do love T&T, I just adore the games in the top five more.

5) Ace Attorney Investigations 2: Prosecutor’s Path - An improvement from the first Investigations in almost every way. While I do think that the last case is still a bit too long, I think it’s overall more interesting than the first’s. More of Kay, Miles, and Gumshoe having the best dynamic. The addition of Ray, Sebastian, and Justine only making the cast all the better. Again, I’m a sucker for Justine being the best mom ever and her dynamic with John (and even Sebastian) is something I wish we’d had more of.

4) Dual Destinies - I don’t care what ya’ll say, AA5 is a fun addition and Athena is an amazing new character. I freakin love Athena. Like, I’m sorry but any character that has been through that much crap and still manages to smile and cheer up the people around her even when she’s feeling the absolute worst is a good character and I will die on this hill. Not to mention Blackquill being an equally fantastic rival for our protagonists. And that reveal in the last case while Aura is forcing them to do a retrial for her brother! “Oh but Phoenix is back to being goofy and it’s like AA4 never happened.” “Oh, but Apollo is angsty for no reason.” Sorry, doesn’t bother me. Like, I’m not even willing to call these things nitpicks because they’re just such non-issues for me. The only thing I’ll say is that the models do look a little off sometimes. This is a good game, ya’ll are just mean.

3) Spirit of Justice - So confession, SOJ was the first AA game that I saw from start to finish. I’d tried before but I’d never found the right let’s play of the AA franchise. Then I did find one, and I watched SOJ through start to finish. And I really enjoyed it. I love the setting of Khura’in, Rayfa, the final boss looking like a Power Rangers’ villain. Also, while we do get a lot of father son stuff, I’m such a freakin sucker for the mother daughter stuff between Rayfa and Gharan and Amara. Also, the Magical Turnabout is just... such a fun case? And of course, Maya can’t be in a game without getting accused of murder. But her growth as a character is great. I just really really enjoy this game, guys.

2) Great Ace Attorney: Adventures - I’m sure this comes as very little shock to anyone who knows me. The first GAA game is astounding. I love this cast of characters so much. Susato, Ryu, Sherlock, Iris, Barok, Gina, Toby, they’re all great! The new mechanics with the jury and multiple witnesses on the stand are great. The story is great. Yeah, the first case goes on for too long, but at least it feels fresh due to the new setting and characters. I feel like I can’t properly articulate how much I love this game. Which, speaking of...

1) Great Ace Attorney: Resolve - Yeah, yeah. Predictable, I’m sure. But what can I say, this took everything I loved about the first game and just made it better and expanded on it. The story takes so many twists and turns and it takes the characters and their bonds from the first game and makes me love them even more. WE LOVE THE FOUND FAMILY TROPE! Kazuma comes back and he becomes such a fascinating character. Rei, Courtney Sithe, Esmeralda Tusspells, Drebber are only some of the memorable new characters for this part 2. The fight against Stronghart (Vortex is still the cooler name) is such a triumphant moment! And playing as Susato in the first case!? That was amazing! And Ryu’s growth throughout all of this!? Like excuse me! I love this boy! 

[gazzhowie]

My Top 25 Movies of 2023.

Sitting in cinema screens in 2023 has continued to re-enforce that it is a weird time for the industry, with huge three hundred million dollar (!) blockbusters attracting only ten or twenty people per screen on opening weekend and highly acclaimed independent movies being given no home except for a dumped VOD release. This year felt ‘tough’ being a fan of both great films and the big screen experience. 

Anyway, scaremongering over... it is time for me to dust off the cobwebs from my Tumblr account and post my Top 25 movies of this year, 2023.

[Years 2008 through to present are available in the archive.] 

As always, films listed are based on their UK release date whether that’s in the cinema or on DVD, VOD etc. Which was a tough rule to stick to this year because I thoroughly enjoyed the lean and effective b-movie action horror antics of Last Voyage of the Detmer, which could’ve earned a slot on my list had its UK release not been pulled 2 weeks prior to its date due to its European distributor going bankrupt. 

Frequent visitors know that I’ll throw out a few special mentions to all the films that I wish I could’ve included but couldn’t make fit yet believe they deserve a shout-out regardless and then I get stuck into what I think are the 25 best films of the year. Anyway, without further ado, here are the ‘also-rans’ and ‘near-misses’ separated per genre that very nearly made the final list:

Action movies that I have enjoyed this year include The Covenant which holds the distinction of being an actually enjoyable and tolerable Guy Ritchie movie, John Wick: Chapter 4 who’s bludgeoning and unnecessary excess gives way to a final hour that is part ode to Walter Hill’s The Warriors and part ‘modern action classic’ effort, Guardians of the Galaxy 3 which was uneven but still the best Marvel effort in quite some time (though that is a low compliment), the first part of the French two-parter Three Musketeers: D'Artagnan which brings John Wick-ian action to the oft-told tale, the Gerard Butler ‘Prime Exclusive’ double-bill that was Kandahar and Plane, Denzel Washington’s (“final”) entry in his Equalizer series and Thomas Jane’s cheapo Brannigan / Coogan’s Bluff b-movie tribute, One Ranger. 

Not many comedies impressed me this year but going off the ones that made me laugh and surprised me some what were the kind of delightful Woody Harrelson sporting underdog remake Champions, the vastly better than we all thought it was going to be / surprise sleeper success of the year No Hard Feelings and the ‘animals saying uncouth things’ silliness that was Strays. 

I liked a lot of horrors this year; the legitimately great (no seriously!) Influencer, the gimmick-heavy but incredibly effective No One Will Save You, the immensely fun Kids Vs Aliens, the Covid-19 slasher that you didn’t realise you secretly sort of wanted that was Sick, the semi-disappointing yet still enjoyable recalibration that was Evil Dead Rise, the Godzilla-homaging creature feature The Lake and the frankly insane / insanely nasty Project Wolf Hunting. 

Not a huge amount of animation blew me away this year but Leo was a stand-out for not just being shockingly good but for the sheer amount of repeated viewings it has gone through in my house with my boys without it losing too much. I have to also give props to Spiderman: Across The Spiderverse which was gorgeous to look at and immensely entertaining but excessive and unwieldly to its own detriment.

It was a good year for documentaries with both Milli Vanilli and The Pigeon Tunnel impressing me immensely. The former being surprising in its depth and emotion. But within the documentary form it was a banner year for the ‘biography’ approach with genuinely excellent and thorough studies of fascinating people. I loved Mr Dress Up, Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie, Judy Blume Forever, Hatton and Albert Brooks: Defending My Life.

Dramas I’ve liked a lot in 2023 have been Till which moved me immensely, the justifiably acclaimed May December, The Burial which was far more captivating than it had any cause to be, the Netflix survivalist preposterousness that was Nowhere, Ben Affleck’s fabulously entertaining Air which was another entry in the ‘business origins’ subgenre that continues to somehow flourish, Michael B. Jordan’s overdirected but strong Creed 3, the ode to old-fashioned 1990s studio potboiler thrillers that was To Catch a Killer, the Sky Original Dead Shot and the smart phone / techno warning Unlocked.

And in a little section all of its own marked ‘better than they had any right to be’ I’ve got to give a shout-out to Elizabeth Banks’ incompetently directed but decidedly fun Cocaine Bear, the Jackie Chan / John Cena greenscreen-heavy team-up Hidden Strike, the wonky but fun Scream 6, the exhaustive Extraction 2, the low-bar hurdling Blue Beetle and the absolutely insane (and mildly better than the last two excretable efforts) Fast X.

And now… my Top 25 favourite movies of 2023… but for those who know me to be an enormous John Woo aficionado I will make clear from the outset that at the time of compiling this I still have not seen Silent Night. Sorry. 

25. The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial

We must mention William Friedkin’s last film before his death - a reminder that the man was a master filmmaker across the board but specifically a master at letting the material and the performance(s) lead. Never has that felt more reinforced than with his interpretation of The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial where, like what he did with his excellent made-for-tv redo of 12 Angry Men, he lets the power of one single setting, a very good cast and exceptional material (in this case a soft update of Herman Wouk's 1953 play of the same name) lead and he gets out of the way and stays there. A more fragile or less confident director at the age Friedkin was, at that point in his career / so close to the end, would've likely been tempted to go big or get flashy to show they've still "got it". There was nothing fragile or unconfident about Friedkin right up to the end. This is an impressively engrossing watch with a great kick at the end that Jason Clarke absolutely sells the shit out of.

24. Talk to Me

I genuinely thought the 'hype' machine was going to have seriously done a number on this, a la BARBIE, but thankfully that turned out not to be the case.

Directors Danny and Michael Philippou have taken a weathered and well-worn concept - that grief and trauma can be open gateways for otherworldly malevolence to exploit - and they've injected it with a fresh voice / energy, whilst respecting 'old standards' like practical effects work.

The concept is decidedly hokey and the lead character isn't particularly likable to say the least (though Sophie Wilde is excellent playing her), but the Philippou Brothers are so thoroughly committed here and the practical effects work is so impressive that it's infectious.

You're almost pulled 'in' despite yourself because the scares are so well-executed and the feeling of dread is so effectively threaded. You know you're being 'played' and you try to fight against it, but it's a mark of its quality that it gets you anyway.

23. Beau Is Afraid 

If Taika Waititi parlayed the goodwill and acclaim from a series of beloved low-budget Kiwi comedies into a mainstream career making multimillion dollar Marvel movies and becoming one of the most sought after studio hires of the last decade, then Ari Aster has used the instantly accepted and highly regarded successes of HEREDITARY and MIDSOMMER to... *checks notes* ... work through some complicated shit involving his relationship with his mother (and his father - who may or may not be an actual 'penis monster') and have arthouse kingmakers A24 pay $35 million for it.

This made less than a third of its $35 million budget back (because, come on now, how on earth do you effectively market this thing?) so it's tiring but true that the label "cult classic" has •already• been applied to it.

Look, I'm offering zero defence to accusations against the film that it is overlong, incredibly self-indulgent, ill-disciplined, carrying nowhere near the depth it claims to, tiresome and exhausting. It IS all those things. By the final stretch it is floundering haaard and there's a serious feeling of being trolled starting to set in.

But, first of all, it shouldn't be discounted how excellent and effective Joaquin Phoenix is here and Aster's wildly uneven material is greatly assisted by his casting. Secondly, it has to be acknowledged that there's moments - long stretches, in fact - where there's absolute brilliance at play here.

There's masterfully crafted moments of genuine hilarity (dark hilarity, for sure) alongside flashes of abject discomforting horror. I'd go so far as to say some of the most interesting, inventive, unique and intriguing moments in cinema this year are tucked away inside this behemoth of a clusterfuck.

People pushed hard for the extended cut of MIDSOMMER to be released. I'm pushing for the reduced cut of this.

22. There’s Something in the Barn 

 I thoroughly enjoyed and had a great time with this. It's not at all embarrassed to lean into its influences, evoking affectionate RARE EXPORTS / GREMLINS vibes without coming across like its heavily plagiarising from them.

 It’s got a terrific dry wit to it thanks to writer Aleksander Kirkwood Brown's script and which the cast, especially Martin Starr (essentially doing his SPIDER-MAN shtick here) and a very winsome Amrita Acharia, sell well. And director Magnus Martens doesn't skimp on the dark stuff and sense of foreboding either.

 There's no snobbishness to put up against this thing - it's a horror comedy that made me laugh multiple times and jump occasionally. That's a very solid success to me and I highly recommend it if the likes of RARE EXPORTS, KRAMPUS, CHRISTMAS BLOODY CHRISTMAS and SINT are favourites of yours.

21. Pearl

I'm a big fan of Ti West and I really enjoyed X, which was one of my Top 25 of 2022 and which in my review I defended by saying:

"... It's very easy to dismiss what West is doing here as just an exacting homage to THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE but it's more than that. Obviously there's overt nods to it but you could also suggest West is doffing his cap affectionately to Paul Thomas Anderson's BOOGIE NIGHTS, Alfred Hitchcock's PSYCHO and, yes, both Lewis Teague's ALLIGATOR and Tobe Hooper's EATEN ALIVE as well..."

This is an interesting companion piece to that movie (with a third entry, MAXXXINE, imminent) made more fascinating due to how it came into existence:

 Whilst in their Covid 'bubble' prior to production beginning out in New Zealand for X, director Ti West and star Mia Goth became so enamoured with the backstory they were creating for the character of Pearl that they wrote an entire prequel, pitched it to A24 and built filming into the back end of the original production. A high value 'two-ffer' if ever there was one.

The end result is something less blatantly and broadly enjoyable than the first (second) story but it's definitely the more curious and interesting one; if X really was Ti West's TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE / BOOGIE NIGHTS / PSYCHO / EATEN ALIVE bastardisation, this is his Douglas Sirk melodrama injected with Technicolor and falsely set loose as a 'follow your dreams' fable gone really, really wrong.

It obviously lives and dies by the lead performance and, by crikey, Mia Goth is so good here. That much-memed final credits thing is lauded but it's that late stage monologue that drops your jaw a little. If horror wasn't so easily dismissed her performance would've won awards.

For years we've always considered horror prequels to be the nadir of the genre. After all, who cares if Leatherface only became Leatherface because he was made redundant? Or Jason Vorhees killing nubile teens because he got his pot farm trampled on? Or... or... how no one taking Michael Myers trick or treating turned him into a psychopath? Here though, PEARL indicates that doesn't always have to be the case.

20. Reality 

For those worrying as to whether Sydney Sweeney's tsunami of scantily-clad content across advertising and social media platforms has left her precariously overexposed (in more ways than one), along comes this fascinating and considered film to remind you that behind the bikinis, the false nails and the airbrushing is an extremely talented actress capable of incredibly powerful work.

Devoid of make-up, carrying the film nearly 70% of the time in close-up shots she can't fake her way free from and regimentally parroting the actual recorded FBI transcripts down to every sigh, stumble and gulp Sweeney is frankly astonishing in how she carries this thing.

Director Tina Satter keeps things tight in terms of both location, framing and running time (it plays as an almost real-time exercise) and as a result the film becomes a riveting, claustrophobic and maddening display (how did Reality Winner's actual charges and ridiculous sentence stand when all of this occurred without correct due process and legal entitlements being followed from the outset?) from a first-time film director showing exceptional command of her cast and her visual space.

19. Fair Play 

Chloe Domont's corporate morality play / torchlight on gender politics by way of a recalibration of the 1990s style erotic thriller is all the more astounding because of how assured and masterfully controlled it is for someone's feature directorial debut.

 Driven by two excellent performances from Phoebe Dynevor (who I'd not seen before in anything and was astonished by her) and Alden Ehrenreich (who I think is terrific and deserves treated way better by the industry), and supported by atypically great turns from Eddie Marsan and Rich Sommer, this thing has no right to be as engulfing and nail-biting as it is for what it is.

 Domont refuses to make compromises or concessions in the way she presents latent sexism, money, toxic alpha cultures, wounded pride and corporate backstabbing infecting her characters. It's a brutal, relentless ride she takes us on.

 One where the brash bloodied cunnilingus opener keeps returning to your conscience like it was heavy foreboding for what feels inevitable - these two can't keep tearing away at each other like this, surely? Not without someone dying at the other's hands.

 You keep trying to shake that feeling off, telling yourself that it's not ~that~ kind of film. But as this thing starts to barrel towards its third act it is testament to Domont, and how Dynevor / Ehrenreich are executing her material, that you come to realise all bets are off.

18. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One 

There's action movie franchises and then there's •this• action movie franchise; hitting its stride at the fourth entry, delivering back-to-back masterpieces with its fifth and sixth and now this - a seventh entry so frickin good it rides out evident flaws (and Mark Gatiss' horrendous "accent") that would absolutely fatally decimate other films!

Because it feels sacrilegious to even say this but the latest entry manages to straddle both being very good, decidedly high end, etc etc and... *whispers it* ... kinda 'samey' to what we've had since Christopher McQuarrie became 'grand master':

Still no one trusts the inherent righteous genius of Ethan Hunt, forcing him to go against one and all. Blah blah. There's excessive shots of Tom Cruise running. Yes, yes. There's elaborate stunts seamed together by a 'not as clever as it thinks' plot. Of course. And too many characters. Far too many. Confoundingly, it feels somehow a little stale and yet brilliant.

The film's 'grand' action sequence this time round has been so overexposed, so heavily spoilt (a making of dissection for it ran before the film itself at my screening for Christ's sake) that you naturally assume it'd deflate a little by the time you see it 'in context'. That's not so. Mainly because it is actually just the entrée to the main course which is the train finale.

The climax is an utter masterwork of technical execution, mixing real stuntwork with very well done greenscreen and (yes, shocking as it is to say for a Tom Cruise movie) CGI facial replacement alongside terrifically accomplished narrative construction.

 If like me you continue to be aggrieved by the presence of Simon Pegg's Benji and how he's ostensibly exactly the same character as Luther with exactly the same skillset, routinely forcibly sidelining a vastly superior Ving Rhames, then that's more evident here than ever before. So much so that they literally 'Poochie' Luther out of the film in the third act. Which is obviously racist bullshit. Also, I know I stand alone in my apathy towards Rebecca Ferguson (I really don't get the adoration for her / her character at all) and my hatred for Vanessa Kirby and all the stupid gurning that comes with her, but both are drowned out by a crackin' turn by Pom Klementieff and a performance from Hayley Atwell that you really need to believe the hype on; she lights up the screen and is a tremendous comedy player amongst all the weighty waffle.

And that's the film's biggest flaw that ROGUE NATION and FALLOUT both managed to masterfully swerve - the minute the action stops the film starts to sink under the weight of really heavy exposition. Mounds and mounds of the stuff, in fact.  I know McQuarrie and Cruise have been open about how they conceive a script around action set-pieces but this is the first time where the stitchwork is so headache-inducing having to listen to it that you start to see a wobble in the method for the first time... even more so now McQ and Cruise have started injecting all this whiffery about "the choice" and portentous context about how IMF agents work, are recruited, etc. Like, what are you doing trying to 'John LeCarre' my fucking MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE movies, goddamnit?

 Still, it's the most minor of hardships considering you're never more than 10 minutes off from getting out the other side of all that exposition and getting to another sublime action sequence or a close up of Atwell's wonderous smile.

17. Sisu 

"Sisu is a Finnish concept described as stoic determination, tenacity of purpose, grit, bravery, resilience, and hardiness, and is held by Finns themselves to express their national character. It is generally considered not to have a literal equivalent in English (tenacity, grit, resilience and hardiness are much the same things, but do not necessarily imply stoicism or bravery)."- Wikipedia

The RAMBO sequels should look to this, kneel before it and weep just for being in its presence.

And we better start doing the same with Jalmari Helander, who in just three movies has done Finnish 'interpretations' of John Carpenter horrors, 80s Amblin movies and now 'lone warrior' action films to magnificent effect.

This is a gloriously ridiculous live action cartoon of violent excess and bonkers propulsion; land, water and air set-pieces of utter insanity stitched together with inventive, nasty gore.

It is outlandish in its speed, its fat-free story construction and its refusal to ever stop or give way to wimpy, silly things like character development.

16. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

I totally get Hollywood's whoreish mentality for seeing something succeed and then bastardising it to the point that what we once loved is something we become bored by - it's why we suffered through a noughties onslaught of what felt like nothing but zombie movies because 28 DAYS LATER landed well or why everyone's trying to do "shared universes" now because of Marvel.

Or why after the massive success and instant affection for INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE every animated movie of late has been plagiarising the hell out of it.

You saw the trailer for this - a heavily belated sequel to a spin-off from a SHREK sequel - pulling that very shit and it just felt a bit like your old dad after your mum's left him, spraying on the 'hair filler' and squeezing into skinny jeans to "get back out there" and prove he's "still got it"...

... and then it just casually reveals itself to be a film of massively inventive design (both visually and narratively), that's surprisingly deep and very funny - and as a result superior to both its predecessor and the entire franchise from which it was born.

You don't •think• you NEED time spent in the company of Olivia Colman and Ray Winstone as Mama Bear and Papa Bear or Florence Pugh as Goldilocks and John Mulaney as Jack Horner... or best of all ELITE SQUAD's Wagner Moura as Death... but you absolutely do! Don't make the mistake of thinking you're 'above' this sort of thing, cos I can guarantee you you're not.

It's a delight!

15. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny 

It feels like I've got to be apologetic in my opinion of this if 'Film Twitter' / the critical majority is to be believed, in which case I'm sorry but I enjoyed this. I just don't think you should ever underestimate the positive impact factor(s) that can be drawn from this particular actor turning up on screen as this particular character, scored to John Williams' music. And I'm saying this as someone who's seen KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL.

 I can see why people would have issue with this latest / last outing; it's overlong to the point of bagginess (there's a staleness that starts to set in from the repetition of Jones and Co landing at a location, having the baddies immediately show up, outwit them and make off with the macguffin only for Jones to steal it back) and the character of Helena Shaw is a fairly odious and unlikeable one who exists to cause more shit for Indiana Jones than is tolerable (and I was no fan for the most part of how Phoebe Waller-Bridge played her).

And then there's the 'look' of it too. Did it HAVE to have such a shitty, plastic sheen to it? It cannot be overstated that one of the most tremendous qualities of those first three INDIANA JONES movies was in how Spielberg went out to REAL locations and had Vic Armstrong and Harrison Ford REALLY ride REAL horses and jumped on top of REAL tanks or fall under REAL trucks. Here, it's pixels and screens. Again. With nothing learnt from the issues KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL generated.

James Mangold has done a commendable job of 'apeing' Steven Spielberg and there's a lot - and I mean a lot - of great action here. But the vast majority of it has the shine taken off by continually cutting into terrifically adrenalinised action sequences to insert very obvious greenscreened shots of Ford and Waller-Bridge bickering and shouting like they were really honestly / definitely / maybe there involved with the sequence when it was getting filmed.

It's infuriating because this thing is stacked to the gills with thoroughly enjoyable, legitimately well-designed action sequences - the escape from the castle in the French Alps, the Apollo 11 parade and New York City Subway chase, the Tangier sequence, the Aegean Sea set-piece, the Ear of Dionysius cavern stuff and the airfield chase - but in every single one there's moments of really quite shoddy CGI that draws you right out of the moment to remind you 80% of this was done on computers. There's not ever a moment to make you gasp in awe at how the stunt-man survived like in the original trilogy. But there's a LOT of moments that has you thinking "This thing cost $350 million?"

But all that said, Mangold making a 'fan' version of a Steven Spielberg INDIANA JONES movie is better than Steven Spielberg phoning in one. And I'm not going to lie, this thing had me from the minute the font come up in the opening titles and we got a straight-up legitimate 1940s set INDIANA JONES mini-movie (which seemed to sit as an eery bedfellow to MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 7, weirdly enough) with the best... though still not flawless... de-ageing techniques I've seen.

14. The Fabelmans

It's more than a little disingenuous for all involved, specifically Steven Spielberg himself, to describe this as "semi-autobiographical" and "loosely based" on his adolescence and first years as a filmmaker when anyone who's read any number of books on the man or watched director Susan Lacy's 2017 biographical documentary can see the beats are all there, wholesale. If THIS is "loosely" then the biopic version would be the greatest invasion of privacy ever committed. This ~isn't~ a "fable", man!

I can also see with it why some have braced against it and the instant critical adoration that was applied to it, because the longer it sticks around the more muddled it becomes about what its point of view is and whether it has anything left to say. By the end it slides to a stop after 2½ hours with an admittedly wonderful (and wonderfully bizarro) comedic bon mot having scattered barely etched vignettes / sketches in its final stretch. And tonally, there's questions as to really what was trying to be said with that late 'Ditch Day' subplot and whether co-writer Tony Kushner was working through his OWN stuff within Spielberg's memory bank.

That being said, I loved it in all honesty. For the first two thirds of its running time, I thought it was •really• something special - and anyone pushing out the notion that this is Spielberg on autopilot ain't watching this properly. That cold pan cutting his [screen] father from the frame in a moment of parental happiness but leaving in his [screen] mother and her lover? That's some brutal, subtle craftsmanship there. And layered on top of choices like that is more precision cinematography from Janusz Kamiński and scoring (for the final time?) by John Williams.

The performances across the board from Gabriel LaBelle (as 'Sammy' / Spielberg), Michelle Williams, Paul Dano, [CENSORED] and Seth Rogen are extremely good. Though as atypically great as Williams is here, I'm not certain this ends up being the 'ode' to Spielberg's mum, Leah Adler, that some think it to be.

I totally understand the perspective of those that see this cynically as a 'pre-designed awards hoover' - you can't help but come away from Judd Hirsch's cameo feeling like the entire thing was written as a Best Supporting Actor Oscar clip reel - but for me it just hit me right in the chest... exactly as it will for anyone who spent some of their best summers with their dearest friends, being creative, making films, watching films, dreaming of a future that involved cinema, fending off unsupportive family and trying to hold close those that did try to help your talent flourish.

13. Babylon

As much as Film Twitter has taken against BABYLON's final moment, it must be said that for a "love letter" to cinema and the movie industry overall, Chazelle can 'sign it off' how he likes (and "SINGIN' IN THE RAIN to AVATAR" is certainly •a• take!) with no obligation to be subtle. However, considering there's NOTHING subtle about this film whatsoever preceding it, why you'd think it's conclusion would be any different is silly.

I'm a Damien Chazelle fan. I liked WHIPLASH and LA LA LAND enormously and I genuinely consider FIRST MAN one of the finest films of the last decade. No matter its flaws (of which there are several), I drew a great deal of enjoyment from this, his latest effort. Repeat viewings have put it as one of my favourite films of 2023.

It's a very, very messy film. Chazelle seems to believe the debauchery and excess of the era his narrative lands within - Hollywood's transition from silent to sound films in the late 1920s - gives him unrestrained reign with an overindulgent running time and a cavalcade of graphic content. Added to all the blood, vomit, excrement, etc etc the opening Kinoscope Studios Exec's bacchanalian mansion party is the "opening sequence of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN" of debauched, drug-fuelled, orgy sequences in cinema.

There's no real consistent throughline to any of this which makes it all the more difficult to embrace across 190 minutes and because it plays like a plethora of sketches it has massive peaks and troughs Chazelle doesn't always seem to have total control of - the vignette involving Margot Robbie's Nellie LaRoy first experience of recording a 'sound' take starts solid, gets funny, outstays its welcome and then beats you into submission.

There's a lot of excellence here though. Whether that's in Brad Pitt's surprisingly layered, moving and deft turn or through the sojourns onto the desert location shoots of multiple oscillating productions, topped off with the very 'on' appearance of Spike Jonze's 'Not Otto Preminger' Otto Von Strassberger.

I'm thinking that opening on elephant defecation and sordid acts of urolagnia is something that in retrospect director Damien Chazelle may well be regretting now critics have been "pissy" about his latest film and it's now considered the big box office "turd" of the year.

12. The Killer 

I've seen a few people talk about this as if it's "beneath" David Fincher, inarguably one of our greatest working filmmakers today. Like a tight hitman-out-for-revenge yarn based on Alexis Nolent and Luc Jacamon's comic book series is not "worthy" of him or something. Clearly these people are forgetting this is the same guy who spent 6 years in development hell on a WORLD WAR Z sequel, gave us the glorious (if flawed) bit of pulp that was THE GAME, the immensely effective b-movie in an a-picture gown in PANIC ROOM and remade an adaptation of a popular airport potboiler with THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO in amongst whatever is regarded as his "prestige" flicks.

It's absolutely a David Fincher movie; that's apparent in the droll humour, the Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross soundtrack and the clever visual flourishes - like the entire Amazon 'bit' in the final stretch.

It's a caper. A yarn, if you will. A bit of pulp, just with high end flourishes - such as Fincher's meticulous choices, Erik Messerschmidt's cinematography and the casting itself (Fassbender, Arliss Howard, Charles Parnell and Tilda Swinton).

There's this brilliant layering here between the clinical, detailed voiceover Michael Fassbender provides (that leads us to believe this is an assassin at the peak of his 'game') and the actions we physically see from him on screen (missed shots, beat downs suffered, etc) that indicate there's a little bit more than what's on the surface.

I had an absolute blast with this - a tight / immensely refreshing sub two hour, jet black comedic (the aliases!!) thriller that sits as Fincher's hat tip to Jean-Pierre Melville's classic, LE SAMOURAÏ.

... Though I do want to deduct a star off my final rating for the bit where Tilda Swinton co-opted my favourite 'go to' pub joke that I've relied on for 20 years. Now whenever I tell it people are going to say I've just ripped it off this, goddamnit!

11. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.

What an absolute gem of a film!

You knew you were in steady hands because Judy Blume's 1970 source novel is just that good, Kelly Fremon Craig's EDGE OF SEVENTEEN is an instant classic and there's a dependable excellence that comes with casting the likes of Rachel McAdams and Kathy Bates.

But there was always the risk that this COULD'VE got fucked up. Some idiot at the studio might have tried to modernise it. Or believe that it needed more 'incident'. Or cast someone too precocious in the lead role. But James L. Brooks clearly bodyguarded this thing correctly.

The final result is a sweet, funny and very lovely little film with an absolute sweetheart of a turn from Abby Ryder Fortson as the title character.

I genuinely loved spending time watching this.

10. 20 Days in Mariupol 

There's a moment in this - Mstyslav Chernov's truly harrowing frontline documentary of the twenty days he and his colleagues spent besieged in Mariupol after Russia began its invasion of Ukraine - involving an emergency cesarean and an unresponsive newborn that is more upsetting, more thrilling and more uplifting than the combination of every horror and every feelgood drama released in the last five years.

This is the most important and vital film you'll see this year and then never ever want to see again.

More so because as humans in this modern age we rather callously only seem to have the heart / stomach / attention-span for one 'war' at a time, and we appear to have abandoned the Ukrainian conflict to refocus our outrage on what's going on in Gaza instead.

For large parts of it we feel like Mstyslav Chernov's been given exclusive access to the pits of hell and he's taking us on a tour. This is intense and riveting, shockingly so considering the unrepentant footage of dead or dying children.

9. The Night of the 12th 

I've worked in the field of investigation for over 20 years and I can tell you this much - this movie fuckin gets 'it', man.

In opening with the title card that it does it offsets any eventual disappointment you may feel when the ending arrives. You don't feel short-changed because you've been brought in from the start to share the frustration with the characters.

There's nothing easy here. Nothing pat. Just real investigatory pathways followed with dead ends jumping out in front when everything in your gut says this lead, that lead or the next was going to be 'the one'.

It painstakingly shows that the work is in the hours. And the work can become an obsession. An obsession that gives nothing back equitable to what it takes from you.

It starts with a suitably harrowing and upsetting sequence and it ends on character uplift in lieu of narrative resolution. It also sits as one of the best movies about the art and reality of investigation in modern cinema.

8. The Creator 

If there's anyone out there still 'over crediting' Tony Gilroy for the success of ROGUE ONE - one of the best (and the last great) STAR WARS films - this is the "fuck you" exhibit.

Gareth Edwards' sci-fi action epic doesn't entirely land its thematic intentions and hampers itself somewhat by placing dramatic reliance on the anti-acting vessel that is Gemma Chan, but by crikey is it an enthralling and gorgeous-looking ride. (John David Washington remains a magnetic watch, though I do wonder because he sounds so much like his dad whether we're all just hooked on the idea that they've 'prequelised' Denzel?)

You're gifted something here that feels like 1982 Ridley Scott and 1993 James Cameron have got together to play with action figures and do a sci-fi Vietnam movie... it's glorious stuff!

Full of some of the best effects and well realised set-pieces of the year, it's the old 'protect the child' trope given a beautiful lick of paint thick to feel make it feel just about unique enough and a) stand out in an ocean of comic book movies and sequels, and b) probably make Neil Blomkamp go "Ahhh. That's how you do this? Riii-ght!"

So of course no fucker showed up to watch it!

7. Close 

I don't really have friends. I don't have the sort of 'personality' that lends itself to people being able to find me tolerable at the most basic level - at least for more than a couple of hours at a time anyway. 

I've come to accept and acknowledge this fact the older I've got in life. I've always tried to make friends / keep friends etc but the type of person I am seemingly lends itself to being easily used and/or quickly put down.

It wasn't always like this though. When I was a child there was a boy who saw something in me that others did not and could not. He was in my class and lived close by my grandparents, where I spent most of my time. We were bonded by our loneliness amidst a sea of heads at school as much as our shared sense of humour. Even at a young age I came to appreciate this friend for simply •liking• me and we quickly became inseparable.

On the last day of school, with a vast and limitless summer ahead of us before separate high schools would provide an inevitable divide, we had an argument. A silly, stupid, ~nothing~ argument - significant enough in postscript that I can still recall it now 31 years on - that degenerated into shoving and me accidentally banging his head off a bathroom wall during lunchbreak.

We left school that day with our friendship impacted and the first week of the summer holiday's heavily damaged by him not being by my side in it. And on the very night that I finally decided I didn't want this to continue any longer... that the very next morning I would pick up the phone and ask him if he wanted to go ride bikes in the dene... he died.

An asthma attack. A fuckin asthma attack.

He died not believing that I was his friend and that devastated me. It still does. 31 years later, I think about Neil at least once a week. I see clips of talent show magicians and KNOW that'd have been him. I've tried all my life to replicate a friendship like it and I've never succeeded. But can we ever generate that closeness in adulthood towards someone like we could as children, when we were free of responsibility and bonded by limitless possibility?

I've frequently wondered what my life would've been like if Neil had still been in it, telling myself over and over that this would've been one of the rare pre-teen childhood friendships that lasted.

I miss him and would give anything to be able to deliver the apology to him that he deserved then and is still owed now.

So... all THAT said... it goes without saying that this deeply human, carefully etched and very naturally drawn drama hit me like a train travelling at 150mph.

This is one of the most effective and important films about grief, trauma-processing, adolescence and friendship that there's been in some time.

It really is a brilliant piece of cinema that should be shown in schools to every kid from twelve upwards.

6. The Eight Mountains 

Felix van Groeningen and Charlotte Vandermeersch's adaption of Paolo Cognetti's novel is a (both visually and emotionally) astonishingly beautiful effort with two fascinating and textured performances from Alessandro Borghi as the adult Bruno and Luca Marinelli as the adult Pietro.

It's an intimate epic; a careful, patient and quietly profound treaty on friendship, life, love, ambition, Buddhist concepts, ancient Indian cosmology, growth, nature and the weight of legacy.

Come for the stunning footage of the gorgeous Italian Alps, but stay to be deeply moved by something really rather special, wholehearted and sincere that steps right over whatever BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN esque expectations or assumptions you may well carry into this.

5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem 

I've never understood anyone - especially the aged fanboys frequently responsible for ruining the STAR WARS and MARVEL 'discourse' - who's shown territoriality over the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES as a "franchise".

The reason this ramshackle 1984 indie comic by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird has blown up into five television series, seven films, multiple video games and a range of toys / merchandise for four decades is mostly down to the way it sorta reinvents itself every five or so years. Which means there's some form of TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES 'content' now for all of us in one way or another.

And one of the most impressive - but not THE most impressive - things about this film is how it incorporates something from everything that's gone before without becoming a complete mess. The spirit of the comic book source material is front and centre alongside the legitimate effort of the 1990 movie adaptation. The "that'll do" crappy clart of its sequels is avoided whilst the huge scale of the maligned Bay-ified 2014 - 2016 movies is represented. It definitely captures everything about the first Saturday morning cartoon that enamoured the property to us way back when.

It's a glorious effort. It truly is. I watched it with my son and his friends and the huge grins on their faces was infectious. I struggled to think of another entertainment entity that has moved so effortlessly through the generations like this has.

It's a visually resplendent film. It takes the reconfiguration of the animated form a la the SPIDER-VERSE movies and delivers a surprisingly more focused and tighter effort than the latest SPIDER-VERSE sequel. It is dripping with an energy and confidence that will surprise you, as well as a whole heap of heart and humour that will delight.

Yeah, there's moments here and there where the energetic visual styling becomes a little too cluttered in its action sequences but it is a minor grumble against what is a surprising instant masterpiece of its type:

A sweet and funny teen movie walking in the shoes of an animated giant sized comic book blockbuster wearing the coat of a New York conspiracy film, drenched in classic East Coast hip-hop and a score by by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, and performed by one of the most impressively eclectic voice casts of recent.

(Within a roster of Hannibal Buress, Rose Byrne, John Cena, Ice Cube, Natasia Demetriou, Ayo Edebiri, Giancarlo Esposito, Post Malone, Rogen, Paul Rudd, Maya Rudolph, Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr, Nicolas Cantu and Brady Noon, it is Jackie Chan that absolutely steals this thing by a considerable distance!)

4. Asteroid City 

If you aren't a Wes Anderson fan this is not the film that is going to convert you. An immaculately stylised and composed metatextual 'Russian Nesting Doll' celebration of the construction of art and the art of storytelling? No way. No how.

There was elements of it that didn't work for me but what •did• work I was head over heels in love with. The [CENSORED]*constructs felt almost like afterthoughts and didn't particularly resonate. A lot of reviews hit Anderson for being unfocused and overindulgent, and I kinda can see where they're coming from. But only with regards to that particular element.

[* censored by me and hopefully by everyone else because they've done a wonderful job of hiding the story construct from the marketing]

The rest of the film is primo Wes Anderson in his most astonishingly stylised form with his attention to detail never more sharp.

A complaint that must be noted though is in the casting, where the usual 'Anderson Players' appear to have ran a 'pyramid scheme'; bringing in actors who's casting has attracted other actors to the point of it being too cluttered an ensemble in too lean a film to let everyone truly shine. Despite all the plaudits, I think Scarlett Johansson is well out of her depth here. And I just think if you're going to hire the likes of Steve Carell (replacing a Covid-addled Bill Murray at the last minute), Margot Robbie (who should've played Johansson's part, and vice versa) and the sublime Sophia Lillis but barely use them properly it's almost a crime!

When it's funny it is hilarious. When it is delightful it sits as a heavenly confection. And when it wobbles it still isn't as ponderous and disappointing as some of the lesser elements of THE FRENCH DISPATCH.

3. Oppenheimer 

I found every plaudit for this to be true and what a reward it was to receive as cinema lies stale in its current state, crusted with the stale decay of innumerable shitty-sheened superhero movies and sequels to things no one was asking for.

Here's a mature, complex, expertly constructed character study of great depth and intelligence; a film primarily made up of scientists and mathematicians thinking and squabbling amongst themselves whilst a non-linear deep betrayal born of immense pettiness plays out almost as an appendices to the traditional biopic... yet, thanks to the music of Ludwig Göransson and editing by Jennifer Lame, it moves like this insanely kinetic action thriller instead.

The ending stretch feels almost ~too~ trite and neat though, it must be said. Although maybe I'm tarnished by a feeling that no movie should depend on the cripplingly irritating overacting of Rami Malek to play last-minute 'saviour'.

Cillian Murphy is frankly outstanding here and whilst most critics have the Best Supporting Actor Oscar locked for Robert Downey Jr (who's brilliant and who's Lewis Strauss receives a 'kiss off' by Nolan here that almost feels like a Marvel Cinematic Universe esque tease for a sequel about Strauss arranging the JFK assassination!) it would be good to see Matt Damon get some recognition here as his General Groves very nearly steals the whole movie with very little.

The casting is so sumptous overall that every scene induces a "Hey! That's..." as the likes of Kenneth Branagh, Josh Hartnett, Casey Affleck, David Krumholtz, Matthew Modine, Benny Safdie, Jason Clarke, Michael Angarano, Jack Quaid, Josh Peck, Olivia Thirlby, Macon Blair, Tom Conti, James D'Arcy, David Dastmalchian, Dane DeHaan, Alden Ehrenreich, Tony Goldwyn, Alex Wolff, James Remar, James Urbaniak and (is it a spoiler to say?) Gary Oldman as Harry S. Truman roll out to 'play' for one or two minutes.

It's the sort of movie so stacked and packed even at 3 hours that it puts Emily Blunt (as Katherine "Kitty" Oppenheimer) in such an undercooked and underdeveloped role you wonder why they cast a 'star' in it... until that clearance hearing scene near the end where she goes and delivers the impact of a... well... an atomic bomb and you think to yourself "Oh. That's why they cast Emily Blunt!"

It's a gorgeous-looking - Hoyte van Hoytema's cinematography is luscious - cinematic achievement by Christopher Nolan, where his visual ambition and clinical cinematic technique have really come together once again to remind you the term "modern great" as a filmmaker is well earned.

2. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves 

A "great time" - seeing as the film itself had my beloved GAME NIGHT's Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley at the helm - perhaps. But a resoundingly delightful time that left me instantly eager for more of these movies and DEFINITELY future revisits of this one? I'm shocked at just how brilliant this was.

I can't believe that one of my favourite films of the year is a 'fantasy heist action comedy adventure' based on the infamous tabletop role-playing game.

Especially considering I've never played nor have any frame of reference / interest towards the tabletop game (my sole DUNGEONS & DRAGONS 'knowledge' stems from the 1980s cartoon series - which gets a pretty terrific nod here!) and one-third of the cast is made up of actors (Michelle Rodriguez and Regé-Jean Page) I can't normally stand.

I've been a big Chris Pine fan for a long time now and his performance in this only increases the fandom. And I've flat-out crushed on Sophia Lillis since IT and she's pretty tremendous (if a little underserved) here. The whole cast - yeah, including Rodriguez - are pretty wonderful with Hugh Grant clearly having a grand ol' time, a "big star" mid-movie cameo that'll only land depending on your opinion of this diversive 'talent' and Justice Smith very nearly stealing the movie out from under Pine.

This thing is built within the framework of a marriage between THE PRINCESS BRIDE and the aforementioned GAME NIGHT. It's ostensibly LORDS OF THE RINGS meets OCEAN'S 11; a series of ever escalating challenges and heists that are thrillingly executed within a film that's very, very, VERY funny. The opening prologue is a complete statement of intent ("Where's Jonathan?") that tells you exactly the movie you're going to get.

Killers of the Flower Moon / Godzilla: Minus One 

Simply astonishing to indulge in - there's such a deft, surprising delicacy to elements of Martin Scorsese's Killers of the Flower Moon that's all the more astounding considering the abhorrent subject matter.

That comes mainly from the performance Lily Gladstone provides this film with. In a sea of tremendous work - and by God it's both magnificent to see Robert DeNiro be great again and for Leonardo DiCaprio to finally do something in my eyes that lives up to his [overstated] reputation - she is working on some other stratospheric level.

Comments about the length by some don't resonate with me. I certainly didn't feel it, necessarily. It's probably the length it needs to be to do justice to the masterful source material its adapted, deliver a legitimate love story (of which, don't be fooled by its toxicity, this is), a film of weighted historical and cultural context AND a true life / true crime procedural.

It's surprisingly less gratuitous than you'd probably expect too. Especially considering we're in the hands of our greatest living filmmaker, someone who's never shied away from presenting us with absolute violence of an uncompromised nature.

There's also these splashes of jet black comedy occasionally popping up too - like the horribly bleak but darkly funny scene in which one henchman asks a lawyer about whether adopting then killing his Osage wife's kids would make him a benefactor of their riches. When the lawyer rightly points out it sounds like he's confessing to planning child murders he replies not unless the lawyer's answer would be affirmative.

This is a film that consumes you. It pulls you in and drags you down - you're in the presence of pure evil and weak character, and Scorsese expertly holds you there so escape feels as impossible as justice must have to the Osage.

It's very easy to 'throw around' the term "masterpiece" when it comes to Martin Scorsese. Mainly because the fucker keeps effortlessly making 'em. But by crikey this really is one.

Equally majestic as a piece of cinema, but in an entirely different form and genre is Takashi Yamazaki's Godzilla: Minus One.

By concentrating on making an interesting drama with genuinely well-etched characters (that just so happens to have a giant radioactive monster passing through intermittently) equal to a barnstorming blockbuster creature feature (that allows itself to be infected with enthralling drama and character development), this steps up in the year of the Godzilla franchise’s 70th year to take the position as its best entry [by a considerable distance] in its illustrious history.

Buzzing with some of the best set-pieces of the year soundtracked to a thumping and all-consuming score by Naoki Sato, there’s genius in recalibrating a Godzilla movie – of all things – in order to develop an incredibly touching human drama and social commentary about what makes a family, what is the true definition of patriotism and courage, what real service to one’s country presents as and how to find air to breathe / the will to go on in a post-war Japan where unrelenting despair hangs in the atmosphere wherever your head turns and ‘fear’ manifests itself as a skyscraper-sized lizard-of-sorts.

We know we’re being played with the cute kid and the manipulative makeshift family relations, but that doesn’t stop it being wonderful. The marriage of sincere impacts caused by war and loss with sci-fi fantasy (but no less tense) fantasy action shouldn’t work, but they very much do. This thing is firing on multiple levels and it succeeds across the board to stand as the best blockbuster of the year.   

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Here's a Letterboxd link for this whole thing if you're that way inclined.

Tell your mum I said hello.

See you next year...