#seriously please help me distract myself while my life is crashing and burning

[spiro-nagnew]

Lmao at myself because BTS and BLACKPINK have been around for damn near 10 years and I never cared that much before but here I am almost 30 years old, in the middle of a divorce, entering my kpop obsession era.

That being said, does anybody have some good recommendations for me? Give me your favorite songs or performances from literally any kpop generation. Doesn't have to be BTS or Blackpink either. I have no genre preference. Girl groups, boy groups, solo artists. I'll give it all a listen at least once.

This is also a sort of warning for the people who currently follow me. Prepare for so much content that you'll question when you started following a fan account.

Yes this is a repost from my side blog because that one is strictly used for venting.

[taestefully-in-luv]

The Island | KTH (Four)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) implied sex

Notes: this is not a reflection of Taehyung’s art! Just saying lol But anyway, hope you guys like this chapter. Tae and oc sure have a lot of moments huh. let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @getmemyfries @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous --- Next

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Month 4

“What the fuck is that?” You point accusingly towards the paper Taehyung is excitedly holding up.

“What do you mean,” he grins. “It’s you!”

“…throw it away.”

“What?! No! I worked hard on this!”

“I look like a god damn frog.”

“In the painting or in real life becau—"

“THE PAINTING!” You leap towards Taehyung and reach for his atrocious artwork. Can he even call this disaster art? No offense, no actually, full offense but its ugly as hell. Taehyung lifts it high above his head.

“Listen, listen…don’t you think this hurts my feelings a little y/n? I worked hard on th—”

“I swear to God Taehyung…if you don’t burn this—"

“OKAY OKAY! No need to put out threats!” he pouts almost theatrically. You eye him up and down, waiting for him to make a move towards a trashcan but he just stands here.

“Well? Go throw it away.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Yeah, no.”

You close your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose, “What do you mean no?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you and laughs under his breath as he steps closer to you.

“First of all, you don’t tell me what to do. I prefer if it’s the other way around.” He smirks, “And second, I am still going to keep it. For the memories.”

You chew on your lips for a few moments, letting his words sink in. But for the memories?

“For the memories? Why would you want to remember any of this?”

Taehyung frowns at your words, he looks genuinely offended.

“I might not like our situation but…”

“But what?”

“Fuck, don’t make me say it.” He says while turning red. “You know, I still want to make good memories with like, you.” He admits softly.

You finally give in, gently reaching for the awful artwork. Don’t get it wrong, Taehyung’s art is usually so beautiful. He does landscapes and abstract pieces and they absolutely blow you away. But his portraits of people? Disgusting.

“Fine…” You smile down at the painting in your hands then look back at him, “But if I see this hung up anywhere I am burning it myself.” You smirk. “And I will take great pleasure in that.”

“Oooooh please tell me more about your pleasures.” Taehyung wiggles his brows at you.

“You’re the worst.” you smile, “Anyway, do we have a deal?” you stick out your hand for him to shake.

“Deal!” Taehyung cheeses, slapping your hand down and going in for a quick hug instead. You’re surprised to say the least, you kind of guessed Taehyung was the affectionate type but you didn’t expect to be on the receiving end of it. “I’ll be in my art room most the day. Movie night though?”

“Yes, movie night.” you oblige.

“Yay.” He chirps happily, skipping off to his art room down the hall. You can’t help but smile as he disappears from your sight.

But then your heart pinches in your chest. You want to feel happy. Are you just ungrateful? You should be happy. Taehyung is finally being himself around you and you finally feel like you aren’t as alone. But it’s all a façade technically…he’s got no one else, just like you have no one else. In the real world…if you two met would you become friends like this? Or is this all forced? Is your entire friendship fake? You feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, you hate these thoughts.

He’s so different than you thought he would be…he’s lighthearted, he’s funny, he’s silly, he’s talented, he’s human. And don’t even get started on flirty Taehyung…You really thought he was some closed off asshole but as time goes on and he becomes more and more comfortable you see the real him, and you really enjoy it. And you hate that you enjoy it. What are you like? Are you still a brat? Does he still think that? You chuckle to yourself, he probably does. Has he grown so comfortable with you that he’s not as angry about being stuck here with you? No, you imagine he’s still really upset about this whole thing. He just doesn’t voice it to you as much anymore. Maybe he’s avoiding the subject. You can understand why. It’s awkward. This place wants to get you two together but neither of you are interested in the other romantically. You just don’t see it happening.

~~~~~

Taehyung is just relaxing in his room on the verge of a glorious nap, he is finally dozing off, eyes slowly closing when his head snaps up in reaction to a loud crash coming from downstairs. Now what the hell could that be? Panicked, he rushes to his feet. He flies down the stairs in record time trying to find the source of the loud bang. He stands in the living room, glancing around the area for any sign of you. Are you okay? Where are you? Shit. Frustrated, he runs his fingers through his hair and as calmly as possible calls out for you. But nothing. Fuck. Your name slips past his lips in growing panic.

He decides he is going to charge each room in search for you, when he reaches the door to his art studio. He can hear muffled words on the other side of the door.

“Shit. Damn. Fuck.”

He instantly roll his eyes to the back of his head, literally so far back all that’s seen is the white of his eyes.

“Such foul language for such a pretty mouth.” He whispers to himself, slowly creeping the door open, exposing a distracted and distraught you.

“Motherfucker!” you huff, your hands on your hips, eyeing the mess you made. God damn did you make a fucking mess. On the floor is a canvas, brushes scattered and a rainbow of colors splattered all around.

“What. Are. You. Doing.”

Your head whips in his direction, your face turning many shades of reds. He stands at the doorway making his presence known, looking at you expectantly, judgement in his eyes. At least he hopes you can see the judgement in his eyes. Because he is definitely judging like hella hard.

You continue to stand here, your blush deepening. He is too frustrated to find it anything but annoying. You begin to stutter out words he can’t make out. You are trying your best, that much is obvious. You’re trying to explain yourself but he can tell you’re only becoming more and more flustered at the situation. He is sure his annoyed expression doesn’t help your ability to speak. Whoops.

“I-I was…well, you said, well remember you said…” You try. You really try. He almost wants to laugh, but not quite.

“I-I said? I said what?” He keeps his stoic demeanor intact, just stressing you further. He’s almost having fun with this. Almost.

“Well, Taehyung…listen,” you try again. “You said,”

“I said?”

Your eyes scan the room as if there’s something here that will help you.

“Words y/n. I need you to use your words.” He demands, maybe having a little fun stressing you out. He sees your blush become such a deep shade of red that even he feels embarrassed.

Finally, you releases a long breath and words begin spilling out of your mouth.

“You said you wanted to keep that frog picture—“

“Your portrait, you mean.”

“Yes, yes whatever. Anyway, you wanted to keep it for the memories, right? You…you…you’re sentimental like that or whatever.” You pause to take a breath. “And and…”

He raises a brow at you, taking a few steps forward, mindful of the mess you made.

“And?”

You raise your head to look into his eyes. You’re staring so intensely that he wonders where you got this wave of confidence from. He stares back just as seriously. Your eyes are the same as usual, dark, plain, boring. For the most part.

“And…I decided that maybe, that maybe I want to…paint you…too?” you step forward. “You know, for the memories.” You tear your eyes away from him. But he sort of wishes you didn’t.

His brows pinch together at your little idea. You want to paint him ? He studies your face seeing if maybe there’s anything else. You look tense under his gaze, he admits that makes him feel kind of good. Is that mean? You look so incredibly shy, and it is so fucking...something, he doesn’t know what but it’s something. He continues to observe you and your shy expressions.

He looks down at you and breaks into his best shit eating grin, his hand reaches down to ruffle your hair.

“Yes!” he lightly chuckles, “Let’s make lots of memories!”

It looks like you’re in a daze, his reaction catching you off guard, he guesses. Taking a moment to collect yourself, you look up into his eyes again.

“Yeah, lots of ‘em.” your smile slowly begins to fade, “We won’t be here forever, so we have to leave with lots of memories.” you mutter.

Taehyung feels himself go soft at your words.

“y/n…” he slides his fingers down to cup the back of your head, fingers gently massaging your scalp. “When this is all over…we can still be in contact, you know?” Your eyes travel to the floor, eyeing the mess you made. He’s still getting over that.

“I know…but Taehyung, I still feel like I don’t even know basic things about you! Like what even is your favorite, uh, I don’t know, animal? I can’t tell you how long I have been wondering that and—”

“Then let’s have a whole night dedicated to that. Let’s drink some wine, paint some pictures and learn everything there is to know!” he moves his hand forward, his fingers playing at the ends of your hair, “Like, what shampoo did they give you because your hair is soft as fuck.”

You give him an unimpressed look,

“I know you steal my shampoo sometimes, I’m not dumb.”

“Don’t know what you are talking about.” He cheeses.

“But okay,” you grin at him, “Let’s do that.”

“I love Koalas and sloths!” You’re laid out on your stomach, swinging your legs above you while sipping on your red wine.

“You can’t choose two!”

“I just did.”

“Fine. Mine is…drum roll…its…” he pats the floor repeatedly.

“Oh come on! Tell me! I’ve been dying to know!”

“Its…lion!” he lays next to you, resting on his side. He eyes the painting you are working on. It’s supposed to be him…supposed to be.

“I like lions too.” You add more color to the background of the canvas. He can hear the smile in your voice.

“Sheesh…and you think I am bad at drawing people…”

“Stop being a hater!”

“ME?” he stares at you incredulously.

You and Taehyung are a few glasses of wine in already. He can tell its hitting you harder than its hitting him, you’re extra talkative and all giggly. He’s painted a picture of the beach while you’ve worked on a portrait of him, it’s amusing to say the least—the portrait. Pretty quickly glasses turned into bottles. Bottle number 3 has been opened and now he is also talkative and all giggly. He’s a giggly lil thang when he’s drunk, and he is drunk.

“Okay,” he sits up, sitting on his legs. “First impression of me, go!” he laughs, for literally no reason.

“I thought you kidnapped me.” You state plainly, “So like, a creepy person.”

His jaw drops.

“I’m offended!” He lays his hand over his heart. “You thought I was creepy?! And there I was thinking you were just some hot chick I hooked up!” Yes, he called you hot to your face. He is drunk, he is allowed to do that. Yeehaw.

“Okay to be fair, that thought crossed my mind too.”

“That I was some hot chick you hooked up with?”

“I never said hot.”

“But you were thinking it, right right?” he wiggles his eyebrows in the most exaggerated way.

You smirk before chugging back the rest of your wine, reaching for a new bottle.

“Okay, maybe I thought it.” You admit, your sly smile growing.

“Want me to open it?” he gestures towards the wine bottle.

“Please.”

He reaches for the bottle of wine, his hands brushing against yours. He hates that he feels a quiet fire in his insides when he touches you. He hates how when his skin makes contact with your skin there is an automatic heat that lights up and warms him, burns him almost.

“Do you have someone? That you like?” You slur out, curious about Taehyung’s love life.

“…Yes.” Taehyung admits softly.

“I am what they call a ‘Dilf’” Jin states confidently. The rest of the boys share a look of confusion.

“You literally aren’t a dad?” Jimin looks at Jin with a puzzled smile.

“But you can’t tell me I am not a ‘dilf’ though.”

“Okay Jin, you’re a dilf.” Namjoon rolls his eyes, going back to his book.

“I wanna be a dilf too.” Jungkook whines and Taehyung nods his head in agreement. Jin shakes his fingers at the boys and speaks up.

“You have to earn the title.”

“Yeah, by being a dad.” Jimin deadpans.

“Let the man have his dreams.” Yoongi says before putting his ear bud back in his ear and nodding along to whatever song is playing.

“My dream is to finish this assignment.” Hobi groans into his pile of papers on the table.

“This is your fault for going back to school for your masters!” Taehyung teases. He has just recently dropped out of school and he is loving it. He watches as his friend works night after night on paper after paper and Taehyung no longer has to worry about things like that. He can just focus on the music.

“Are you guys using this chair?” Taehyung hears a sweet voice cut off all their chatter. He looks up to see this gorgeous girl with light brown hair that reaches her waist and eyes as bright as the sun.

“Uh, no.” Taehyung clears his throat, “You can take it.”

“Thanks.” She smiles at Taehyung and then at the rest of the boys before she’s dragging the chair to the table next to them.

“Holy shit.” Taehyung whispers to Jungkook, “She’s so pretty.”

“That’s Hana.” Jungkook looks over his shoulder at Hana and her friends. “I have a class with her.”

“Bro, introduce me!” Taehyung begs. “You literally owe me.”

“From what?!”

“I let you fuck that one chick like 2 years ago even though I saw her first.”

“Oh? You let me? Really?” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “But anyway, sure. I’ll introduce you.” He says nonchalantly, picking up his drinking and taking a sip.

“Taehyung?” you wave your hand in front of his blank face. “Taehyung?” “Huh? Yeah?” he starts snapping out of his memories, “what’s up? What did you say?”

“I asked her name.” you smile awkwardly, “The girl you like.”

“Hana.” He quietly clears his throat, “What about you? Do you have someone?”

“After my ex? I am staying away from men for a while.” You laugh, “Like, can you blame me?”

Taehyung can’t help by frown at your words.

“Don’t close yourself off…” Taehyung whispers to you. “You’re too pretty for that.” He slurs out and you blink at him repeatedly.

“I’m pretty?”

Taehyung scoffs and rolls his eyes playfully.

“Like you didn’t know.”

Hours pass you two by, more wine has been drank and you two are giggling like school children. Taehyung is folded over, laughing a storm as you do your best impression of a dolphin. You can’t help but fall over and laugh your head off as well, the alcohol obviously has made you two crazy.

Taehyung finally calms down and looks at you with soft eyes, “So, what’s your biggest fear?” he asks, leaning forward.

“No!” you laugh. Fucking laugh. “Listen, we can go back to our serious convos another day…right now I wanna…” you slur your last words, “wanna talk about fun stuff.” you give him the most sleazy wink he’s ever seen. It kind of works for him though.

“Okay.” He agrees easily, “Tell me the story about how you lost your virginity? Don’t leave anything out”

Your eyebrows shoot up, “Wanna know the dirty details huh?” you part your lips and smile.

“Dirty? I bet it was as vanilla as vanilla gets.”

You frown at his words, “I’m not vanilla. I’m fun, I swear.” you pout.

“I didn’t mean it as boring babe. I just mean you probably lost it to like your high school sweetheart, your first love, blah blah blah. The romantic shit.” You exhale a short breath…babe? You like the new friendly nickname, you admit.

“Actually it’s the opposite.”

“The opposite?”

“First year of college. Random guy from a bar. Total one night stand type of situation. I didn’t even tell him it was my first time. I think he probably just thought I was really inexperienced. “ You laugh to yourself. Sounds like a situation you might regret but there is no bitterness in your tone.

“Oh wow. y/n the cry baby can do one night stands?” he teases.

“I’m full of surprises you know.” The glint in your eye tells him he’s going to find out eventually.

“Well then what are the dirty details?” he pries further, leaning into your space again.

“Hmm, don’t think I am drunk enough for that.”

“Oh, I can grab another bottle of wine.” He teases, “But fine.”

“About your comment about me being vanilla…” you begin but Taehyung is cutting you off with the shake of his head.

“I didn’t mean it bad—”

“Are you into vanilla sex?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows crawl to the top of his forehead and his mouth falls open.

“Why are you asking that?” he breathes out, his eyes darkening.

“They paired us together, you know? We probably have more in common than you think…my guess that means sex too.”

“I know we have that in common.” He smirks, “I’m guessing you never looked in the other room?” he quirks a brow at you. “You might find it interesting.”

“The other room?” you tilt your head to the side, “Oh? The one upstairs next to your bathroom? Yeah, I stuck my head in there once…I saw it’s just another bedroom.”

“Is it really just another bedroom though? You didn’t have a look around?” his sly smile grows on his stupidly handsome face. “Like I said…you might find it interesting.”

“What are you talking about?” you slur, “Why would I…?”

Taehyung rises to his feet, walks towards you and leans down until he’s softly gripping your arm and pulling you up.

“Let’s go explore.” He chuckles, “I want you to see the room.” He’s guiding you out the art room, you two stumbling through the door.

You both begin to make your way upstairs, his hand never leaving your arm as you two walk. You keep bumping into him and he only laughs, squeezing your arm every few moments. You guys walk through the hall until you’re standing outside the bedrooms door.

“Go on.” He looks at you with a smirk, “I want you to explore this bedroom.”

“You’re being weird.” You giggle, opening the door.

And just like you thought, it’s just a bedroom. There’s a large bed in the middle of the room against the wall, and a couple of dressers, a closet, a huge ass mirror and other normal bedroom things.

“And?” You glance at Taehyung.

He looks at you with an amused smile. “Explore.” He commands.

You give him a weird look before walking through the room, your hand slides against the dresser that holds the extra large mirror. You catch your reflection and smile at how drunk you look. Taehyung walks behind you and eyes both of your reflections, he steps close to you and chuckles.

“I like this mirror.” He whispers. “Great view of the bed.”

“Uh yeah?” you look at him through the mirror, “I guess so.”

“Explore the drawers.” His evil grin makes you nervous…you look down at the drawers and open the first one on the left, there’s multiple things inside but you can’t tell what they are. You stick your hand inside and grab the first thing it can find. You pull this object out and bring it closer to your face, your drunken vision making it hard to identify what it is. Then your eyes are expanding and you drop the object in the drawer, the loud thud making you jump.

“What was that?” Taehyung whispers, “Something you know right?”

A dildo. Your eyes scan the rest of the drawer only to see more, along with other toys. You quickly slam the drawer shut and turn around to face Taehyung, who is standing so close behind you.

“What the hell?” you stutter out, turning red.

“That’s not all. Check the closet.” He says quietly, pointing towards the closet. And you listen, you walk forward until you’re standing beside the sliding door. You open it and see various articles of clothing.

Lingerie and outfits. Maid, nurse, etc. You stare at the clothes in disbelief.

“What is all this?” you turn to face Taehyung.

“You tell me.” He says chuckling, “Seems like we like the same stuff.” He shrugs. “Maybe you can,” he walks closer and is touching the maid lingerie, “wear this next you’re cleaning the house.”

He’s teasing you. Your stomach twists and turns, your heart is jumping out of your chest and you feel so fucking warm.

“S-Shut up.” You lean back on the door.

“Oh baby, I think you and I both know who tells who what to do here.” He breathes out, not looking at you as he still plays with the material of more lingerie.

“Taehyung,” you sigh, “The cameras can’t hear you in here.”

“Ah,” he turns to face you, “Right. Should we head back downstairs?”

“Yes.” You slur out, feeling quite dizzy.

Month 5

It’s the bright white screen you know all too well…it has you releasing a shaky breath as you wait for the black letters to eventually appear.

“Hey Taehyung…” you call out for you roommate who is making something to eat in the kitchen. “I think we have an incoming message from our,” You pause, huffing out. “Our little friends.”

“Oh. Oh shit.” You hear Taehyung whine from behind you. “I thought they were finally starting to back off…” he sighs out. “Let’s see what these fuckers want.”

Request:

Skinny dip for 1 hour. Must be within a foot of one another.

Ex-excuse you? Ex-fucking-cuse you? Skinny who what for when what? Your eyes bulge out of your head. This has got to be some sort of joke.

“Hell no!” you yell out, not even sparing Taehyung a glance.

Voice full of panic, Taehyung is quick to bring up the alternative.

“The penalty!” he rushes. “What’s the penalty? We will just do the penalty!”

Penalty:

No power or running water for 3 days.

“No pow—what the fuck?” Taehyung shakes his head, disbelief written all over his face.

“Wait! And no running water? Like, we can’t flush the toilet for 3 days? That’s bullshit!” you drag your hands down your face, “And wont the stuff in our fridge go bad?”

Several long moments pass between you two and not in a cool way. There’s nothing cool about this shit. There’s tension filling the air around you both. Awkward tension.

“Isn’t this too much?” Taehyung finally says, obviously not able to tolerate the silence any longer.

You both exchange worried glances with one another before Taehyung says some shit you don’t like.

“Let’s just do the request.”

Your eyes basically pop out of your head.

“Are you out of your mind—do the requests? How could you say that so easily!” you mumble, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“I feel like it’s the best choice.” He gives his honest answer. “Plus, you’ve never seen a naked man before? We will get over it y/n. Knowing me and you, we will be laughing about it in a couple days.” He finally turns to face you, throwing a wink your way, “You know it’s true.”

You mull over your options and hate that he’s right. You very timidly respond with a quiet ‘okay’ and avoid his eyes. His dark, intimidating eyes.

Your heart is racing, No, that is an understatement; your heart is on the verge of explosion. Your nerves are scattered and pounding from the inside out. You are freaking out. Naked with Taehyung? And he seems cool as a fucking cucumber.

“Let’s meet outside once it’s completely dark out.” You suggest.

“Read my mind.”

“…Of course I did, we’re” you roll your eyes. “Soulmates.” you laugh bitterly to yourself, “anyway, I’ll just see you tonight.”

“So you’re just going to avoid me until tonight?” Taehyung asks, “It’s not like they’re asking us to fuck.” He sways on his feet, “Just keep your eyes on my eyes and we will be fine.”

“Right.” You choke out, “Because it’s that easy.”

“Are you saying it’s impossible not to check me out?” he teases and you feel your cheeks heat up.

“Shut up.”

“Brat.”

Night fall approaches sooner rather than later. You wish it would have taken a million years to appear but nope, here you are. You stand outside with Taehyung in front of you. You’re in an oversized t shirt and loose shorts, keeping it simple since they’re coming off anyway. Taehyung wears his usual sweats and a white tee. You two are standing next to the pool, knowing the time has finally come. After leaving Taehyung earlier this afternoon, you took a much needed nap to clear your head.

“Don’t let your eyes linger.” You mumble, nodding your head in his direction.

“Ha, I was going to say the same thing to you.” He pokes his tongue out. Taehyung looks fucking comfortable as fucking always. Like, this doesn’t bother him in the least.

Luckily, the tension is tolerable. So you decide to make the first move. You begin unbuttoning your shorts—

“Woah! Woah! Woah! Wait!” he yells. His arms flailing, trying to stop you.

You scrunch your nose in annoyance, “What?” you ask, not too pleased since you are just trying to get this over with. If you got told 5 months ago that you would be in a hurry to get naked in front of this guy you would ugly laugh. Yet here you are.

“It’s just-it’s just…we should go at the same time.” Taehyung rushes to say.

“Oh, okay. Pants first, let’s go—”

“No! that’s awkward.” He shakes his head, “shirt first.”

“Okay, okay.” You oblige, “weirdo” You whisper loud enough that he can hear you.

The two of you begin with your tops, you try to focus your eyes elsewhere but they naturally skim the skin of his chest and abdomen as his shirt comes off quickly. Taehyung doesn’t even try to look away as you undress, his dark, intimidating stare causing you to feel chills. You slip off your pink t shirt, exposing your bare torso that is laced with a pretty black bralette. His gaze doesn’t waver.

“Okay, next is our bottoms right?” You gulp. He only nods.

You continue the job on unbuttoning your shorts, letting them fall to your feet exposing your matching black panties. Yes, you wore a sexy matching set on purpose. If he’s going to see you like this why wouldn’t you want to look good? You would do that for anybody. You can feel him eyeing you as he slips off his sweats, leaving him in nothing but a pair of blue briefs.

Finally, you are left in nothing but your underwear. You eye him over, his body is so fucking nice it makes you feel bad for even standing next to him. His briefs are a light blue, leaving little to the imagination. You can literally see the outline of his—you know what. Is he sporting a semi, right now? You do an up and down of your own body when you realize you have more clothes than him!

“Hey this is unfair!” You whisper, covering your chest with your arm. “I have to strip my bra off and you what, just get to watch?”

“Oh? So I am allowed to watch?” he responds playfully. It’s that same teasing tone you’re still trying to get used to.

“Well, you’re obviously going to see…” You grumble, lowering your arm. “Welp, here goes.”

Taehyung swallows rather hard, his eyes trailing your body pretty shamelessly. You reach in front of you, unhooking the bralette and letting the straps fall off your shoulders before letting the whole thing fall to the ground.

“Uh, okay.” Taehyung clears his throat. “Now our underwear.”

“Right.” You say while reaching for the band of your panties, pulling it back a bit and letting it go, the material slapping against your hips. You swear you see his dick move at that.

“Okay.” Taehyung’s breathing is heavier than before, “On 3? 1…2..”

“3!” you shout in unison.

You both begin stripping away your last piece of clothing. You’re the first to be fully undressed. You let your panties drag down leg by leg until they join the pile of clothes at your feet. It’s not that you’re trying to do this in a sexy manner, but if it comes across sexy—then so be it. Taehyung pauses mid action, his eyes scanning your body again. God, you are starting to get really nervous again. His gaze absolutely thrills you, you can admit that. You’d live a life of torture to have him stare at you like this all the time. You see him lick his lips then shake his head. You didn’t just imagine that right?

“Hurry up.” You plead.

Taehyung finally drags off his briefs. By the looks of it he looks mostly hard, as his cock springs free. Holy Fuck. Your last ex—Ben—was not this…blessed. Taehyung has every right to be as cocky as he wants, he’s earned it. His dick is long in length but he also seems to have girth. How is one man blessed this much? You would have to have your hand wrapped around it—or your lips—to really know how thick he is. Jesus fucking Christ, what are you saying? You think your best excuse is that you are dick deprived. Also…how long have you been staring? You will say long enough by the look Taehyung is giving you. It’s that shit eating grin that just screams he is one cocky bastard.

“Okay,” you clear your throat, forcing yourself to look into Taehyung’s eyes. “Let’s get in the pool.”

“You got the timer?” Taehyung chuckles.

“It’s laying on the ledge.” you point at it, walking closer to the pool. “Ready?” you look up at him, waiting for his response.

“You look beautiful by the way.” He says out of nowhere. “I mean, as always.” He winks.

You blush pretty fucking hard at that, you can feel all the heat rush to your cheeks, lighting you on fire.

“Are you-are you ready or what?” you grumble.

“Always.” He grins, reaching for you hand. “Let’s go.”

You two tip toe into the water, pausing every few seconds to get use to the temperature of the water. You stop once the water reaches your collarbones, you walk towards the wall, lean against it and face forward. You turn the timer on and you both exchange a few words but you remain mostly quiet, You don’t think either of you know what to say. Every minute that passes (about 15 to be exact) has your nerves spiking.

You hear Taehyung sigh deeply as he inches closer towards you. Now why would he do that? He inches so close that your shoulders are touching, he sinks a little further into the water and then surprising you, he rests his head on your shoulder. What the fuck is he doing?

“We can have a foot of space between us.” You remind him awkwardly.

Taehyung remains quiet, you only hear his soft breaths.

“Taehyung?”

“You know how hard it is going to be to get the image of you naked out of my head?” He whispers with a chuckle.

“Don’t start using me as masturbation material.” You joke, your eyes looking out at the water. It’s calm and bright from the lights inside the pool.

“Start? You think you haven’t entered my mind before?” he jokes back. At least you think he’s joking.

“Stop playing.” You laugh awkwardly.

Taehyung is quiet again and you can feel the tension that always visits you two starting to build.

“Do you…have you…have you thought about me before?” you manage to slip out, surprising yourself.

“You’re asking if I’ve—”

“If you’ve thought about me when you have ‘alone’ time’ ya know?”

“Do you think I haven’t?” he lifts his head and stares at you. “y/n…I’m a guy. And you’re kind of the only person I see.”

Oh. It’s not like I see anyone else. His last words repeat in your mind. Of course, that makes sense. He’s stuck with you, of course you’ve entered his mind, probably against his will or whatever.

“I see.” You say softly. You step to the side, getting further from him and he frowns.

You two stand here, barely speaking. Maybe another 20-30 minutes pass when Taehyung dramatically huffs out.

“Listen y/n…about earlier.” Right earlier. When you made a fucking fool of yourself. Asking your friend is he has ever jacked off to you before! Before he can continue you slap a finger over his pouting lips, shushing him.

“Do you really think now is the time?”

“We have time to kill—”

“—okay! So let’s talk about something else!” you happily offer.

But you guess Taehyung isn’t having it, he steps closer and rests his head on your shoulder again, his breathing picking up. Why is he breathing so hard?

“Just hear me out, okay?”

You only stare ahead, exhaling deeply. What to do…maybe there’s no harm in hearing him out, right? Oh wait there is harm! The feeling of fucking rejection. Why does it feel like rejection? You don’t know. Why the fuck you care? You don’t know that either. But he’s fucking sulking, like a baby. You thought you were the baby here? You guess he needs to have a turn every now and then…

“fine.”

“You probably,” he sinks in the water just a little deeper, “hate me, right?” you don’t hate him…”Me, your friend, has had dirty thoughts about you, yada yada,” he closes his eyes.

“ wait what—” This is because he has had dirty thoughts about you?

“So about what I said…I’m sorry…”

“Taehyung it’s fine,” you rush to say in embarrassment, “I don’t know why I asked! Seriously, it was stupid. I crossed a li—”

“Wait why did you ask?” That’s when you freeze. Yeah why did you ask?

“Uh…”

“Why?” he stands up straighter, his head tilted towards you.

“I was just curious Taehyung.” you defend. “It’s not that deep.”

“Curious? About me?” he raises he brow, he pauses while thinking over his words. “Like, sexually?” he finishes, caution in his voice.

Fuck. What did you get yourself into?

“Taehyung…I already said it was stupid. Plus,” you decide to be bold again, “Hearing it was only because I’m the only one here or whatever didn’t do great things for my ego.”

“Wait—” you hear him stifle a chuckle. “That’s what you’re mad about?”

“Well…” you drag out the word with a pout. You don’t mean to be such a baby yet here you are.

“Wow! I thought you were mad because I’ve thought about you impurely, not because it wasn’t a good enough reason why…wow.” He laughs! He’s basically laughing at you!

“Well?”

“Oh my God, y/n. You’re joking right? I can’t just say I have the hots for my friend now can I? That’ll just—”

“Do you?” your voice is much smaller and quieter than you anticipated, like it barely escaped. Taehyung stays quiet for a second too long that it makes you ten times as nervous.

“Are you…” Taehyung looks at you with a look on his face you can’t quite place, “I’m naked in a pool with you right now and I am going crazy. Absolutely crazy.” Taehyung sighs out heavily, a frown taking over his face. “You’re ability to be so naïve just…baffles me.” He admits, defeated.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a beautiful girl y/n. Of course my mind has wandered. It doesn’t mean I—fuck. It doesn’t mean anything deep or anything like that. But yes, being with you and your fanfuckingtastic tits is giving me some trouble.” He says darkly. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed you checking me out either.” He smirks. “We are human.” He finishes.

A long, deafening silence accompanies you both. Its sitting in the water between your bodies. Just lingering, waiting for one of you to break it in half and drown it in this very pool. But no, it remains. And that person won’t be you. But several minutes have passed by and he is still fucking quiet. Maybe you should be the one to say something? You’re about to you swear , but you hear Taehyung grumble something under his breath.

“What’s that?” you say.

“I said, it’s only fair if I ask too.” Ask what? Oh. Wait. That?

“Ask what?” you ask, pretending you don’t know.

“You know what.”

“Nope.” you say, popping the ‘p’.

“y/n.” “I’m not answering that.”

“Come on.” He leans his face towards your neck, his breaths hitting your wet skin. “It’s only fair.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?” he pushes on. “Come on y/n, have you thought about me when you get yourself off or not?” he asks, his voice really low. How does he get his voice so deep? Fuck, it sends a shiver down your spine.

“Maybe once or twice I have thought about you too.” You admit, feeling a rush of adrenaline as the words leave your mouth.

“Once or twice?” he repeats lowly, “What did you think about?” his words crawl on the side of your neck as they leave his mouth.

“I’m not answering that.”

“I want you to tell me.” He sounds so breathless while being so demanding.

“Nope.”

“You’re no fun.” He chuckles. “Aren’t you curious about what I think about?”

“Not really.” You lie. “Don’t worry about my imagination. It’s the only action I’m getting anyway.” You laugh.

“When’s the last time you had sex y/n? Please tell me it wasn’t with your ex…”

“Yeah it was.” You admit and Taehyung pushes his head back, not liking you admission.

“Why haven’t you?” he asks.

“I felt so betrayed Taehyung…it’s sort of hard to trust anyone after that.” You sigh, “He hurt me bad. I’m…”

“You’re what?”

“I just don’t feel comfortable.” You say softly, “I don’t think I will for a while.”

“I see…I’m so sorry. I wish that didn’t happen to you.”

“It’s in the past now.”

Ben holds you close as he comes, his hands leaving behind their marks on your body from how tightly he holds you.

“Fuck yes.” He groans, “Did you come?” he asks quickly, breathing hard into your neck.

“It’s okay.” You sigh out, “As long as you feel good.”

“I felt amazing honey.” He kisses the side of your neck over and over. “Shit, we gotta get going. We’ll be late for work.”

“Do we really have to take separate cars?” you whine.

“Just for now babe.” He promises, lifting himself off your body, leaving your pussy aching for more.

“Okay…”

~

“He look so handsome today as usual…” you hear Layla talking to some of the other girls. “I’m telling you…he’s going to ask me out. He’s been eyeing me lately and complimenting me.” She gushes, catching your interest.

“Who?” you ask, setting your belongings down on your desk.

Layla turns to face you, waves her hand and smiles.

“Ben.”

Ben? Like your Ben? Her boss Ben?

“Ben who?” you blink at her and the other girls laugh.

“Obviously the only Ben we know!” Layla giggles and you feel your chest tighten.

“You think he’s going to ask you out?”

“Yes girl! He comes to my desk a few times day, calls me gorgeous, so on and so forth.” Layla says quietly so only you girls can hear. You feel your heart drop.

“I don’t think so.” You speak up. “Ben wouldn’t. He’s already seeing someone.”

“Oh really? Who?” Layla scrunches her brows together, “Because—”

“Me.” You blurt. “He and I are…”

The other girls stop their giggling and look at you with shocked eyes.

“There’s no way.” One of them says.

“y/n, are you serious?” Layla blushes, feeling a little embarrassed now.

“Yes, for months now.” you admit. “But we weren’t telling anyone…yet.”

“Wow! I can’t believe this!” another girl says, her hand coming to her mouth.

You then in a hush hush voice tell the group of girls yours and Bens story. You tell them how he pursued you, you finally agreed and how you two have been dating for over 6 months. They gush and gasp and giggle. It feels good to finally tell people, you think.

But unfortunately for you, it wasn’t good at all.

“y/n?” Taehyung knocks you out of your daze. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.” You sigh, feeling weak. “I’m okay.”

Taehyung looks at you with pity, his eyes full of it. He stands tall and floats until he’s standing in front of you.

“I’m going to hug you.” He states calmly, “I really need to hug you.”

“Taehyung…” you step back until your back hits the ledge. “Now isn’t really appropriate.”

“I don’t care. I’ve already seen you naked.” He says nonchalantly. “C’mere.” He opens his arms wide for you and you shake your head.

“I said, c’mere.” He inches closer and closer. “Or I’m coming to you.”

“Taehyung.” You whine, but you let him get closer to you.

His wet arms reach out for you, he’s gripping your shoulders first before his hands easily slide down your arms until they’re under water holding on to your waist.

“C’mere.” He repeats. And you slowly inch closer towards him, your arms hesitantly circling around his middle. And then he’s pulling you in to his chest…he sighs when he feels your budding nipples graze his skin, he sighs when he feels the fullness of your breasts being pushed into him, he sighs when he feels you.

You release a long breath as you hug him, maybe you needed this. This type of human contact. You pull back and look up into Taehyung’s dark eyes, he’s already gazing at you.

“Thanks.” You mumble.

“I think of you because you’re cool. And really pretty.”

“Huh?” Why is Taehyung suddenly complimenting you?

“When I’m—you know. I think of you because you’re cool and really pretty. I could think of anyone ya know? That’s how an imagination works. But I still think about you.”

You’re sure your face is a dark crimson, with how hard you are blushing. How are you supposed to take this new information?

“W-Well,” You find it hard to look into his eyes. “I guess, same.”

“Because I’m pretty?” his tone is lighter all the sudden, you roll your eyes.

“What do you think? Timer should be going on any minute now.” Taehyung throws a glance over his shoulder towards the timer.

“Hmm…” You turn, reaching for the timer, your wet hands getting ahold of it. “Less than 5 minutes.” You read it.

“Oh.” He sings, “If you have a secret, share it now!” Taehyung chuckles into the water, his lips creating bubbles on the surface.

“You want to know even more about me?” You stand a little taller, the water reaching the tops of your breasts. You see Taehyung’s eyes linger for a second before meeting your eyes again. “If you wanna know anything, just ask.” You reach your arms over your head, releasing a yawn.

“Okay…” He places his fingers on his chin, “It’s about me though.” He stops, his fingers dragging down his neck. “Ah, never mind.”

“What?”

“No, it’s weird.”

“Aren’t we passed weird?” you giggle.

“No, it’s really weird.” He sighs out, sinking down into the water until his head is fully under.

You watch as he rises back up, the water cascading down his golden skin, the water from his hair dripping onto his shoulders.

A few moments pass, Taehyung stands here thinking to himself while you just shamelessly watch. You watch as he chews on the inside of his cheek, his eyes upward, scanning the stars. He hums some tune to himself, deep in thought. Honestly, you love when he does this. He looks so…good. Not in a sexual way, you swear. He just looks so him. So Taehyung. He goes from chewing on his cheek to his bottom lip, his teeth digging into the plump flesh. You gulp, God he has no idea how good he looks like this.

“Well?” You ask impatiently. Trying to wave away any more of those thoughts you were just having.

Taehyung releases his bottom lip from his teeth as his lips form into a pout, his eyes closing.

“I’m thinking…”

“Less thinking, more asking.” You feel way too curious about whatever it is he wants to say. And the minutes are passing you by.

Taehyung opens one eye to look at you, he exhales, and faces you.

“Does it sound like I’m in love with Hana?” he says quietly.

“W-What? You’ve only really brought her up once…”

“But when I talked about her did it seem like I have deep feelings for her?”

“She thinks I only like the idea of her” Taehyung mumbles to Jimin and Namjoon. “She doesn’t think I like her as much as I say? Which is so stupid!”

“Isn’t she right though?” Jimin asks with a frown, “You only ever talk about how pretty she is…”

“Jimin means you don’t really have that much in common with her, do you?” Namjoon questions softly. “You don’t…you don’t seem as into as you have been in the past. Are you sure you actually like her?”

Taehyung stares at his friends in disbelief, not believing his ears for one second.

“What are you guys talking about? I fucking like her.” He grits out.

“Are you sure you aren’t just lonely—”

“I don’t want to hear this.” Taehyung stands up from the couch, “I’m going to go see her.”

~

Taehyung makes it to Hana’s apartment but her roommate answers the door and frowns when she sees Taehyung,

“Yes?”

“Uh, I’m here to see Hana.” He gestures inside the apartment.

“Right…” the roommate stands off to the side and lets Taehyung in. “She’s in her room.”

Taehyung walks through the apartment and down the hall until he’s knocking on Hana’s door. She opens it quickly, hugging him and pulling him inside.

“Hey you.” She smiles at Taehyung and he smiles back with his teeth.

“Hi.”

“What brings you here?”

“Just came to hang out, maybe watch a movie?” Taehyung sways from side to side, trying to not make this awkward.

“Sure, you can choose the movie.” She goes to her desk, grabs her lap top and gestures towards her bed. “We can watch in my bed.” She says shyly.

“G-Good idea.”

~

“So how did you like it?” Taehyung asks excitedly. ‘Castaway on the Moon’ just finished and he is so happy he got to show her his favorite movie.

“Honestly?” she chuckles awkwardly, “I didn’t really like it.” She admits. “it was weird.”

“It’s not weird! It’s amazing,” he pouts and she giggles.

He does feel really disappointed that she doesn’t like his favorite movie…is that a red flag? No, he’s just being dramatic, he thinks.

“Next time I’ll choose the movie.” Hana cuddles closer to Taehyung. “Okay?”

“Sure.”

“Taehyung…” you begin, “Where is this coming from?”

“She doesn’t think—my friends too—don’t think we have a lot of chemistry. That I’m forcing myself to like her, but that’s not true! But sometimes I feel confused. And I thought I could get an outside opinion.” He admits, “But this was stupid you don’t have to answer.”

You can tell him you believe in his feelings or you can tell him you don’t think he’s even talked about her enough that you take his feelings seriously. But will that hurt him?

“I—”

Beep beep beep beep beep beep.

The fire place is turned on, creating a safe and cozy atmosphere. The gas lit flames burn a hole in the tension that fills the room. What sort of tension? Not sure.

Taehyung and you are sat comfortably on the sofa, sitting with crossed legs facing one another, your knees just barely touching. A bowl of popcorn rests between you and blankets wrapped around your bodies. Separate blankets, of course.

Taehyung and you have decided to move the party inside (with clothes: on) and continue talking.

The ringing of the timer didn’t completely ruin your conversation only delaying it.

“And I don’t know,” he takes a handful of popcorn and stuffs it in his mouth. “I think we would make a cute couple.”

“Yeah but like I asked, what sorts of things do you two talk about? Not if you guys are a cute couple.”

“We talk.” He states.

“Okay…about?”

“Stuff.”

“You aren’t helping your case.” You sigh out, biting your lip. “I want to believe in your feelings Taehyung but…”

“I know.” He cuts you off, “I know.”

“So why are you forcing it?” you reach for some popcorn yourself, “Why do you want to like her so bad?”

“I don’t know….” He admits softly, “I really don’t know.”

“You’re unsure of your feelings.” You say bluntly. “That’s what it seems like.”

“Maybe I am.” He wraps the blanket around his shoulders tighter. “I’m like you…I don’t know what love is.”

“And just like me, you’ll find it someday.” You promise him with a sweet smile. “Right?”

“You will for sure.” He breathes out, “I think I’m a ….”

“A?”

“God, I don’t even want to say it.” He throws his head in his hands. “But I think I am a hopeless romantic.”

“I just want some cute love story with a cute girl. And Hana is perfect.”

“But does she thrill you? Challenge you? Make you laugh?”

“She’s…” fuck, he doesn’t even know. Does he even know Hana that well?

“Hey y/n…” Taehyung looks up at you, his eyes finding yours and you shrink in your spot.

“Yes?”

“Can we watch my favorite movie? I’m curious what you might think about it.” He gazes at you and you nod your head slowly.

“Sure Taehyung.”

“Also, you can call me Tae.”

~

“Holy fuck.” You sob into your hands. “The fucking noodles.”

Taehyung looks over at you with a soft smile as he has his own tears falling down his face.

“I know right?”

“He finally felt like he had purpose Tae,” you look at him with a pathetic scrunched up face, tears still leaving your eyes.

“EXACTLY!” Taehyung wails, “EXACTLY!”

“This movie was amazing, and how everything turned out...wow…and how she…and he…my goodness. I’m still crying.”

“I told you!! I am so glad you enjoyed it.” He moves closer to you on the sofa without thinking.

“Only lame people wouldn’t like this movie!” you basically yell out and Taehyung scoots even closer, his shoulder bumping yours. But you barely notice, still too invested in the movie.

“Yeah.” He agrees with a smile. “You really must be my soulmate.” He jokes with an awkward smile. “No one else really likes this movie.”

“Ha-Ha.” You roll your eyes, “But anyway, that’s crazy since it was so good.”

“Stop praising it or I’ll have to marry you.” He jokes again and you start turning a rosy pink.

“Stop.” You whine, swatting his shoulder.

“Let’s call it a night, yeah?”

You and Taehyung clean up the kitchen and living room and head upstairs for the night, he walks you to your bedroom door and lingers.

“Tonight was crazy. I saw you naked.” He brings up the request and you go redder than red.

“We can literally never talk about it again…”

“Am I allowed to think about it at least?” he winks, his voice low and making you feel tense.

“Goodnight Taehyung.”

~~~~~~~~

Month 6

Today is one of those days…Taehyung is in a bad mood and you’re being a brat. He hates how much you’ve been teasing him today…he is sorting through his feelings for Hana but you insist on walking around with small shorts and low cut tank tops, claiming it’s ‘hot’. He finally has you cornered though, he’s finally had enough. He’s got you pushed up against a wall, his face so close that your breaths mingle with one another.

“You’re really pushing me today…” Taehyung leans closer, his warm breath fanning over your face. “Today’s not the day y/n.” he warns.

“How am I pushing you? I’m literally not doing anything.” You jut your bottom lip out and look to the side.

“You’re being…such a fucking tease.” He decides to say, “Which is giving me a real headache.” He leans down, his arms on either side of your body.

“So I give you a headache?” Your eyes look up into his and you smirk. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“You are real annoying, you know that?” he can’t help but chuckle, but then he’s exhaling a deep breath and rolling his eyes. “Ask for forgiveness.”

“Ask for forgiveness?” you scoff. “Seriously? And what am I asking forgiveness for?”

“You’re lucky I’m not telling you to beg.”

“Beg?” you scoff again. “Who do you think you—”

“y/n.” his dark eyes gaze into yours. His hand slides down the wall and then it’s at your waist. He pulls you in and leans his head down closer to your face, you feel the lump in your throat grow as you ty to swallow it down.

“Y-Yes?”

“Ask for forgiveness.” He tells you again, this time much more softly.

“And if I don’t?” You stare up at him and he chuckles.

“Do you really want to find out?” his gaze doesn’t waver as he looks at you…the way he stares at you makes you feel bare in front of him, like he’s stripping you of your clothes, of your skin, everything.

“And if I do?” you whisper. “What happens if I do?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you as he licks his lips repeatedly…you’re really testing him aren’t you? He can’t tell if you’re toying with him because of the cameras or if it’s because you’re a brat.

“y/n.” he says your name like the sound of a slow breath. It feels intimate, the way he calls out for you. You can’t help but gulp as you blink up at him.

“Y-Yes?”

“You want to beg, don’t you?” he smirks, he pokes his tongue out as he eyes you. You can see the amusement in his eyes. “You want to…” the words are dying on his tongue because what can he say? Everything he wants to say would probably be deemed as inappropriate.

“I want to what?” you tilt your head up, your eyes scanning the entirety of his face and he leans further into your space.

“Just do as I say, tell me you’re sorry and we can move on.”

“Do as you say?” you lean back until your head is lightly hitting the wall, “You think I would really listen to you?”

“Such a brat.” His hand doesn’t let go of your waist as he leans back as well. “Why do I deal with this? And yes,” he rolls his head back. “I think you would very much enjoy listening to me.” He pauses and bites his lip. “If this company really thinks we’re a match made in heaven then I am sure you can assume what I mean.”

You silently gasp, a blush painting itself brightly on your cheeks.

“Ah,” he leans in again, “So you do know what I mean.”

“Taehyung,” you mumble, “Sometimes your flirting for the camera is too much.” You whisper quiet enough the cameras can’t hear.

Taehyung leans down until his mouth is at the shell of your ear and you can hear the smirk.

“Who says it’s for the cameras?” he leans away from you again, he finally drops his hand from your waist and is about to turn to leave when your hand flies to his shirt.

“Wait.” You blurt out, “I’ll…” you look off to the side. “I’ll say sorry”

“Oh?” Taehyung looks amused to say the least, “Go ahead, then.”

“Only if you tell me what’s wrong today.”

“It’s nothing.”

Your hand goes from the middle of his shirt to his shoulder and you look up at him with big, doe eyes as he blinks down at you over and over.

“What?” he whispers.

“Please.” You whisper back, “I’ll be good,” you promise in a low voice.

Taehyung feels his chest get warm, the heat traveling from there to his toes. He looks at you with his serious expression and softens.

“You are good.” He breathes out. His gaze intense as he stares into your eyes.

“Then…” you pause. Taehyung keeps his eyes on your eyes until he’s not. His eyes slowly travel down your face until he’s staring at your lips. He notices how plump they look, how your tongue darts out to wet them. He feels himself being drawn closer to you, leaning in further and further.

“…Taehyung.” You say breathlessly and Taehyung blinks repeatedly, clearing his throat as he leans back again.

“Fine, don’t apologize. Brat.” And he’s stepping away from you and you watch his back as he walks away.

Taehyung. Is. Such. A. tease. And it drives you absolutely insane. You’re sure the company that watches you is having the times of their lives as you suffer. Why does he have to go this far? It only makes you want to challenge him and go even further yourself. There was a moment, right? Where he acted like he was going to kiss you? Of course he wouldn’t actually do that. This is just for show but god, it still drives you nuts.

Taehyung rushes to his bedroom, slamming the door shut as he rests against it. What the hell is wrong with him? He’s just frustrated. He misses Hana. But why do you have to be so infuriating and you know, hot. And it makes him angry. He wasn’t actually going to kiss you, of course. But there was a moment of strange tension that he…he can’t describe. Taehyung slides down the door, falling to the ground. He remembers his first kiss with Hana, it was sweet and nice but like, he doesn’t remember it being intense not like how it feels when he gets close to you.

“Taehyung!” Hana giggles as she pats his back as she’s thrown over his shoulder. “Put me down!”

“Never!” Taehyung laughs just as much as he runs around in circles. “Ugh, so heavy though.” He jokes.

“Hey!” Hana hits his back, “Come on, put me down.” Her giggles softly relax and he’s setting her down back on the ground, her feet finally planted on the ground as she keeps her arms loosely thrown around his neck.

“You really love carrying me.”

“Holding you is fun.” He smiles, “And you’re not actually heavy. Actually you weigh nothing.”

“Yeah, right.” She playfully rolls her eyes.

“So.” Taehyung chuckles awkwardly, looking into Hana’s eyes.

“So…” she steps closer to him, tightening her hold around her neck. “We’ve been hanging out a lot …” she flutters her lashes, “And..”

“And?”

“I kind of want you to kiss me.”

“Oh.” Taehyung’s eyes widen. He was not expecting that. He smiles at her and nods his head. “Yeah, I can do that.” He teases, leaning in until his lips are against hers. He pulls back but she pushes herself forward to kiss him more and he sighs in her mouth, loving the feel of her lips.

“We should do that more often.” Taehyung breathes out and Hana giggles.

Taehyung groans into his hands, recalling his memories. He does miss Hana but he feels like every time he thinks of her…he somehow is also thinking about you too. But it’s not like he’s thinking of you like that but yeah, you’re on his mind. And he’s got to chill out. He stands up from the floor and walks to his bed, throwing himself on it with a bounce. He’s still so frustrated. He recalls dinner yesterday, how he…

“I’m staring at you because you have sauce on your lips.” Taehyung says from across the dining room table.

“Should I get it for you?” he teases, standing up from his chair, the sound of it screeching against the floor makes you flinch.

“No, no.” you shake your head, “I can do it myself.”

“What if I want to help you though?” Taehyung tilts his head with innocent eyes. “I’ll clean you up.”

“Tae—”

Taehyung walks to your side of the table and bends down until his face is level with your face, he smiles at you and raises his thumb up to your lips. His thumb brushes across your bottom lip slowly, the heat of his finger making you sigh out. He leans in closer as he finishes wiping the sauce off your mouth. When he finishes he takes a moment to look into your eyes like he’s searching them for something. He’s not sure what though. You feel yourself being hypnotized by his gaze, you, yourself stare back at him just as deeply…you think he’s going to lean away any second but instead he brings his hand between your faces and brings his thumb to his mouth. His thumb pushes past his lips and he’s licking it clean, the action purposely agonizingly slow.

“There. Got it.” He breathes out, “All clean.”

Your eyes widen just the slightest…he’s a tease. A fucking tease.

Taehyung’s eyes light up in amusement when he watches how you flush under his hard stare and he starts laughing.

“W-What?” you spit out, your embarrassment has you stabbing your food with your fork. “What’s funny?”

“You.” He says with a grin, the air is starting to thin out as he laughs. “You make me laugh.”

“Glad I can entertain.” You roll your eyes.

You’re so…fuck, you’re so sexy. Taehyung has been wanting to admit that for a while, but god, he has to really fucking control himself. But he’s trying to keep these thoughts at bay because he needs to figure out what he’s doing about Hana.

He lays here thinking of all the moments he has flirted with you for the camera, he groans into his pillow when he has the hardest realization. Is it really for the camera? The tension between you two is so fucking thick, the air is suffocating, making it hard to breathe. The intensity…the thrill. You are the only one who makes him feel like his world is burning with a passionate fire. Hana is nice but you? You’re you and he’s realizing how much he likes that.

He’s realizing a lot. It’s been 6 months and he thinks he is ready to admit that this is beyond what he signed up for. He signed on to get along, but this? This is a whole other journey he’s going on.

Taehyung sits up in bed, his face gone pale as he makes his realizations. His mouth hangs open as his mind races. Does Taehyung just want to fuck you? Or….does Taehyung like you?

Suddenly, there’s soft knocking on his bedroom door, his head snaps in that direction and he knows it’s you—well duh, who else would it be? He scrambles off the bed and he’s opening the door. You’re wearing yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt now with an innocent smile on your face.

“I turned the AC down.” You say. “Now I won’t make your life hard by wearing hardly any clothes.” You’re teasing him and he’s going wild for it.

“Oh really?” he breathes out, “Are you going to say sorry?” he teases back, his breathing picking up.

“Should I ask for forgiveness?” you mock him and he raises a brow at you.

“I’m going to make you beg y/n.” he says lowly, “Keep this up and I’ll be carrying you to the other bedroom.”

Your smile drops at his words. What does he mean by that? He’s taking the acting too far…

“You ever begged before baby?” He walks closer to you, making you uneasy. You step backward further into the hall and sigh out.

“Maybe.”

“From now on, you’ll only ever do it for me.” He says so low, that you barely hear him. But you do hear him and you shudder.

“Taehyung.” You warn softly, you push him by the shoulders, backing him into his bedroom. Once inside you close the door and look at him expectantly.

“What?” he rolls his eyes at you.

“You’re being too much…” you whisper. “But fuck, I gotta admit you’re good.” You breathe out roughly, “It almost feels real.”

“I wasn’t kidding earlier.” Taehyung walks towards you, his hand reaching out to touch the ends of you hair, “Who says this is for the cameras?”

You glance up at him, clearly confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh y/n.” Taehyung feels his heart start to race. “This just got a lot more interesting.”

[genshin-impacted]

close proximity // Zhongli x Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k 

Notes: gender neutral reader “you”, MAJOR Pining in Zhongli’s POV, touch-starved? Zhongli, domesticity

in the long haul, this would be one part of a(n indulgent self-insert) long-fic where Zhongli finds out that you (adventurer/traveler) have been camping out in the wilderness, so he invites you to crash at his place for an indeterminate amount of time 

also, happy birthday zhongli :)

Zhongli thinks that he should have known that welcoming someone so late at night into his home would invite the worst of the gossip. It only grows worse when people see that you continue to come back into his house and that you even have your own key to enter with. 

Luckily, the change from your original Mondstadt attire was the decisive factor that allowed you to walk the streets of Liyue relatively unseen, for you are no longer associated with being foreign or wanted by the Millelith. Instead, you are known to be the one that now apparently resides permanently (or so it seems) in Mr. Zhongli’s apartment, and the attention is now directed toward him.

You’ve even suggested that you float down and enter through an unsuspecting open window in hopes of abating the rumors, but Zhongli thinks about the implications of entering in any way other than the front door and saves himself the trouble. 

You apologize every time he closes the door on a particularly chatty neighbor, but Zhongli always waves it away. He feels more than justified inviting you into his abode. After all, he has caused you the most trouble, despite what you may think of Childe, with his plans for the harbor. Allowing you to share a space with him is nothing short of a fair trade. 

The feeling is only bolstered by the fact that you moved in with only the backpack hauled on your shoulder and nothing else, with Paimon wailing about how good it feels to finally have a pillow to lie on-- much to your embarrassment. (He waves your apologies to this away as well and does not speak of how the bashful expression on your face is rather endearing to see.)

It’s been a few days since the original hubbub, and the rumors have died down after numerous explanations that ‘they are a friend; yes, only a friend, and yes, we are both unmarried and the walls are thin, but you will not need to worry about any unsavory noises, as is routine.’ It’s evident that the nosiest of neighbors believe that he is lying, but he takes his words as seriously as the contracts that bind him.

If anything, the noises that can be heard are the random bursts of laughter or the playful arguments between you and Paimon. If the neighbors expected anything other than this, Zhongli cannot find it in himself to be apologetic because he cannot remember the last time his apartment was filled with so much sound or ever be so lively. The conversations seem ceaseless at times: whether he is sharing facts about Liyue Harbor or the random story he can remember that he thinks you would enjoy or whether you are the ones sharing stories of your own home-- or simply when Paimon asks a question that takes the entire night to explain. 

Zhongli likes the way his stories can make you laugh. It sounded sweet on the week's journey to Daudapa Gorge, and it sounds sweeter now in the confines of his home. Sometimes, when your laughter is all spent and your eyes wet from mirth, he sees you look up at him behind a shy smile with cheeks warm from something other than osmanthus wine, and he finds that he cannot stop watching you.

That is not to say that he is lacking in amusement. Paimon herself would be fine entertainment from her ideas and dreams and strange train of thoughts, but with your quick witted humor and easy-going banter, there seems to be no end to his smiles. Even Hu Tao has pointed out that he smiles more during work in the funeral parlor, and that it was, quite frankly, a little weird. Zhongli has no problems not letting that get to him, considering her boisterous demeanor as the head of the parlor herself. 

Another unexpected but not necessarily unwelcome change is the domesticity. Zhongli has always had his own routine: wake up at dawn to watch the ships leave the harbor, head over to the funeral parlor if he has been called in, peruse (and if he remembers his wallet, purchase) the new shipments, and come home for evening tea. With your presence, he finds himself waking up to sleepy Paimon and an even sleepier you, cracking an egg over the stone stove to cook breakfast. He eats in the morning now and receives an eagerly given lunchbox for him to take around when he goes to work. 

The times in which you leave the apartment differs, just as the time you happen to come back, but you never fail to bid him farewell or greet him when he comes back. You tap his shoulder to call him over for dinner, and you pat his head when you head to sleep. 

With you and Paimon, Zhongli gains a new routine-- one that he grows used to at an almost alarming rate, considering how unused he is to change. It’s almost a shame that this is a temporary set-up-- just until the drama dies down when Rex Lapis’ body is finally given its respects, and you can find a place to stay without being afraid of arrest. But as he has learned recently, some things are bound to change, whether he wants to or not. 

Which is not a bad thing, per say, he thinks to himself, as he cuts through the onions you have asked of him. If there is anything his time as Zhongli has taught him and of his journey with you, the beauty in many things is that they do not last-- which is why it is ever more important to enjoy it while it does. 

“Wow, you really don’t get bothered by the onions, huh.”

Zhongli chuckles, carefully cutting the onions for the stirfry Paimon has requested to eat tonight. He would have suggested eating at Wanmin Restaurant, but a grimace from you when you look at your wallet convinces him to suggest a home cooked meal tonight instead. “It is one of my many talents, it seems,” he says as you put your hands on your hips defiantly. 

“You’re going to be cutting all the onions under this roof,” you announce, walking behind him to turn on the stove. “Ack, I can feel myself wanting to tear up just from walking past that. How do you stand that, Zhongli?”

The smell of sesame oil permeates the kitchen nicely when you pour it into the wok, the sizzling a rather pleasant sound to accompany it. “Aren’t you going to tell me where the onions come from?” You ask as he dices the volatile vegetable.

He turns his head ever so slightly at your question, surprised. He prefers to tell you inane, though fun facts and stories he thinks you would be interested in, but he is surprised every time you come to him for things about Teyvat or of Liyuen culture. Though, he would be lying to himself if that does not please him. “Is that something you would be interested in hearing?” 

“Yeah,” you say, slightly distracted as you take out the ingredients from the cupboards, “I mean, Paimon and I can never find them in the wild, so I figured it doesn’t really grow naturally… so it must be from a farm?” He sees you wave a wooden spoon in question. “But where? Oh-- by the way, are the onions ready? The wok's ready."

“Ah, the onions are actually grown in the villages north of Liyue Harbor,” Zhongli replies, finishing the last of the dicing on the cutting board. “Though most of farms focus on exporting rice, there are some that farm mainly onions-- which is where you see most of the wares being brought in--”

“Oh shit, I put the fire up too high-- Zhongli, I’m going to grab the onions!” 

“Ah, yes, apologies, here--” 

He does not realize you are right behind him until he feels your body press against his for a moment, your hair brushing against his cheek as your arm reaches out for the cutting board. He cannot help but feel himself tense, only able to turn his head slightly just to see your face as close as it has ever been to his. 

“Sorry, sorry,” you say quickly, taking note of his surprised expression. “Nice cutting-- okay, time to cook--” The moment is brief as you rush to slide the onions off the board and into the flames, if the crackling is anything to go on. 

But he finds that he cannot stop thinking about how ticklish your hair was on his face or how warm you were. He remembers the longest embrace in your trembling arms and of your trailing fingertips on his shoulder for a wound that does not exist.

The kitchen is at a comfortable temperature with the stove going on high, but it is by no means hot by any standards. Yet Zhongli feels his ears burn.

“Zhongli?”

He should set the table, he thinks, but for some reason, he feels an ache in a chest every time he thinks of doing anything other than feeling your warmth again. 

“Zhongli?” You ask again, shaking him from his thoughts. His hand curls into itself in a moment of panic as he turns around, wondering if his distraction was obvious. If he were not a God himself, he would have thanked the higher beings that you didn't notice. “Sorry,” you say instead, “I interrupted you last time. What were you saying about the onions? Something after onion farms?”

“Ah, yes, ahem,” he starts again. “Most of the wares the Second Life sells is mainly from the villages themselves, and…” 

You continue to indulge him as Zhongli speaks about the farmlands of the north and about the mountain trade routes in the east when the two of you set up supper. He tries not to think about the way your fingers brush against his when he passes you a bowl of rice or about the way your bodies press together when you wash the dishes.

(Touch-starved. 

He is touch-starved, he finds out much later down the road, when he is able to hold you in his arms without needing to ask. It is why he wishes your hand would linger on his shoulder when you call him to dinner or why he finds himself relaxing at your touch. 

Or why he had started hoping that you would never decide to leave.

It seems almost too obvious now, in retrospect, but Zhongli does not mind that he is constantly learning something new about what it means to be human-- not when it means he can finally hold your hand walking down Liyue Harbor and squeeze your hand and feel you squeeze back.)

[okaybutlikeimagine]

Forever’s Not So Long

(hi, major apologies but I actually wrote something canon compliant and it hurt lol. also preface: this is not me advocating for or demeaning religion or Catholicism. my family is Catholic but I don’t call myself religious. I just listened to DeVotchKa and cried over Billy)

TW: mentions of Catholicism, questioning religion, implied/referenced domestic abuse, implied/referenced child abuse, major character death

(it’s also on AO3 if you’d rather read it there)

---

Billy never understood it: going to church every Sunday when he had cartoons and corn flakes and PJs at home. He never understood having to wear his fanciest, itchiest shirt, especially because only the one would do so his mother had to wash it and iron it every week- even though she burned herself on the iron a handful of times through all her distractions. He never understood wanting to go somewhere where they told you what to do. It was all they ever did there, and there were few things he hated more than being told what to do. Stand and sit and stand and kneel and sit and stand and sing and speak speak speak. There were too many words he didn’t understand. There were too many people talking at once. There was too much and yet not enough going on to the point that he felt under stimulated and overwhelmed and desperate to crawl out of his skin and that incredibly itchy shirt.

There was no sense to be found in his grandmother either, and the way she clutched at her bible on her way to church. They used to drive her every Sunday, but then they moved further away and trips to church got less and less frequent until they stopped altogether. Still, she walked herself to church every week, some weeks every day. Billy only knew because his mother complained and worried herself sick over it. His grandmother insisted she wanted to. She had to.

“Just because you lost your devotion doesn’t mean I’ll lose mine.”

It took a couple years for Billy to understand the words.

And still it was nonsensical. So many questions of why sped through his head.

Billy would spend some weekends at his grandmother’s house and on those weekends, she’d drag Billy to church with her small wrinkled hand on his limp and sore arm. It didn’t matter how old he got- he was 9 and insisting his parents had let him stay home before and still she made him walk with her there. Stand and sit and stand and kneel and sing and speak and speak and speak.

“It’s good for you.” She insisted. Billy thought wistfully of TV and his grandmother’s pet cat that would lay next to him on the couch.

And on those Sundays, as Billy stood bathed in the bright light of the morning sun slipping through the colorful windows, somewhere in the middle of all those serious people, in his itchiest shirt that had wrinkles in it because his mother had been too sad to work the iron lately... his grandmother wept. Every time. Wept silently, tears spilling down her cheeks in rivulets of quiet emotion Billy couldn’t understand for the life of him. Eyes shining brightly, drowning in something indistinguishable, speaking the same words as everyone with a hushed voice like a promise to the world or herself or maybe someone Billy couldn’t see.

Billy never understood. More than that- he never forgave. He couldn’t help but turn angry eyes onto the building around them and the man at the front and the book gripped tightly in her hands. Too many factors in his grandmother’s anguish over something he couldn’t even understand.

But some moments etched themselves in Billy’s mind, and brought themselves to light on quieter days, in quieter moments of reflection and wondering. Moments when she would grasp his face… when she held out her shaking hands and stilled them on his cheeks, wet with tears because he was just a toddler and he watched a cat die in the street and he couldn’t understand. When she looked deep into his eyes and mumbled something that sounded like one of those promises and shed a tear for him and pulled him close. When she brought him over to light a candle to whisper a promise. When she gripped his shoulder and guided him to the kitchen to get a treat. When she prayed over her ice cream and over his too… maybe it made sense.

The time she introduced him to friends at church that smiled bright and friendly smiles and said “what a good kid”. The time she guided him through the church in the early morning when they got there before the service and she explained every picture and every story. The time she made him that fish pot pie that warmed him up from the inside out, because Easter was quickly coming and she explained why they couldn’t eat meat as they sat in front of the window and listened to the rain.

All the times she gripped her beaded cross over his bedside when he would fall ill, and closed her eyes tightly and rocked back and forth with it when one of the sicknesses got more serious. When he recovered just fine, and she laid a necklace with a woman on it over his neck and onto his chest- that same woman he saw everywhere in the church, the Mother. And then she looked at him with teary eyes and a watery smile as she allowed him to run off to play.

Maybe… maybe then, it made sense. In fractured moments of love and cherish, he could understand somewhere inside of him. Sometimes the devotion he saw in her eyes and felt in her actions made his heart feel right in ways words couldn’t describe. And those times, he could almost understand, as her passionate belief licked his wounds.

And he tried to hold onto that. Damn did he try to hold onto it- he’ll tell that to anyone. But it angered him still. Kind and beautiful moments never overshadowed the pain. It drove him wild with confusion and sadness and maybe something close to fear if he thought about it. At times he saw her as a woman possessed- obsessed and clinging to words and wishes and pleas of humanity. She clung to her book instead of taking her medicine. She yelled at his mother as she cried to her, begging her to listen. She walked and walked and walked even when she could barely keep herself up. She accepted rides only when she was begged to.

She gave her book to Billy’s mother one morning, after she had finally convinced them all to join her at church again. She handed it over with shaking hands and healthy eyes- healthier than Billy had seen them in a long time. Bright and clear. A smile that was a comfort. A look that was so serene.

She died suddenly the next day. His mother got a call from the neighbor who had gone over to check on her and ask if she wanted some baked goods. His mother wept the rest of the day and tried desperately to hide her tears behind smiles in front of Billy.

And Billy feared the book. Then he hated it. Then… he craved it.

A classmate mentioned the death of her own mother in class. She walked like she was in shock still. There was sadness in her movements. Billy learned the word “mourning”. He felt the despair encapsulate his heart as if he was mourning too- could imagine the pain and the sorrow and feared ever losing his mother. He remembered when his grandmother helped him understand death, so he wandered to his parent’s room and over to the book. He snuck in and stole it away and read what he could- the start of the world and the good deeds and the stories his grandmother once told him in the church.

He read about sacrifice.

Seven feet…

He read about hope.

You told her…. The wave was seven feet.

He read about humanity, and compassion, and understanding.

You ran to her… On the beach.

And he wanted that with him.

Yelling matches began. Infrequent until they weren’t. Crashing and shattering began. Quiet until it wasn’t- until it made its way nearer and nearer to his room. Until words became wails of despair and agony to “stay away from him”. When Billy began to clutch the book in shaking hands, began to rock back and forth, began to mumble words to himself he still wasn’t sure he understood.

Until he started taking sacrifice seriously. When his mind decided things were literal.

Stop it! Don’t hurt her!

Because she sacrificed. He heard so much. He figured sacrifice happens in lots of ways, in many forms. And he could sacrifice, too- get between it as well as his small body would allow. For the good in the world, and he saw a lot of good in the world, and she was the brightest.

So he could sacrifice.

But then she stopped. The book didn’t prepare him for when she would give up.

He wrestled with it for years.

How long? How long?! I miss you…

He thought sacrifice was a thing that always happened for the good. She told him he was all the good in the world- he was the sun and the moon and the stars and the Earth. He was every fantastical being. He was the light in her days.

But then she was gone- in a sudden and dizzying whirl of memories and pain, she became intangible. He watched, tired and dizzy from sleep, in the late late hours of the night as a cab raced her away from their home and into the darkness. It was an attempt to sneak away. Not even one last hug.

She left without her son, and Billy couldn’t fight the thoughts that in her flight, he became her last sacrifice.

I don’t understand… why not? Please Mom, don’t do this…

And he fought with himself more than anyone. In less than a month he was dodging jeers and anger and resentment and pain. He found himself mourning. He clung to the book while his ears rang from the yelling. He clutched it with red and shaking hands, clawing into the cover with desperation. He held it to his chest and begged for it to help him. He laid in bed and listened closely for the sound of the liquor bottles being slammed onto counters and he held the book. He mumbled the words he knew. He wondered if his grandmother could hear him up in the better place- if she was disappointed that he got the words wrong or just proud of him for trying.

Phone calls were frequent until they weren’t. Bruises weren’t frequent until they were. Billy clutched at his chain and the pendant and let hot tears hit his arms for the only Mother he had left.

And then the anger rose again. He quickly realized how he never forgave, and never should. How he couldn’t. Tears to books weren’t worth it- they only wrinkled the pages and blurred the words.

Sacrifice wasn’t worth it. Not when it involved leaving him in hell anyway.

Loud music drowned it out. He could make his ears ring all on his own.

Fights numbed it. He could bruise his body up on his terms, or bruise another body just the same.

Pushing away feelings fixed it. It can’t hurt to be someone’s sacrifice if you don’t care about them.

There were seagulls.

And he didn’t care.

He shoved the book in the back of his closet. He berated himself for ever thinking the words were real. He kicked himself for believing words and pleas were safeguards against anything physical. He sat and wondered to himself angrily, angry as all of Hell and every wretched being inside it, how he could remember his grandmother’s empty tears and think it was sane. Think it was reasonable. How he could experience her death and think it was understandable.

Fuck feelings and wanting and pleading. He didn’t care.

Not then.

But now...

She wore a hat… with a blue ribbon.

Now now now...

A long dress… with a blue and red flower.

Days have been gray for years. He also left his sun. He didn’t pack it with him.

She left him then she left him and then he left her too. Left it all behind.

Y-yellow sandals… covered in sand.

But he never found a way to leave behind the memories. Even when they fade in pulses, they don’t leave him. In the dark of night, he sees them. In the light of day, he sees them. In the sunshine and the shadows.

He sees them now.

She was pretty.

He sees her and her smile. Feels her and her warmth. His body has been so cold for so long… has been freezing for days but maybe also for years. He’s been cold for so long. But the chill of the ocean that he remembers like he turned 9 only yesterday… he remembers that differently. He remembers that’s different.

Her laugh is a song and her eyes hold prayers. The sand is so soft beneath his feet. The seagulls are calling him home.

He feels tears and he sees them too… on another face, bloodied and saddened and desperate as the flames of Hell themselves. Desperate, perhaps more like the clouds of a more promising place, beckoning him to something better.

Maybe desperate like the Earth. Like the trees and the leaves and the grass. Desperate like a human.

She was really pretty.

Yes… yes she was.

She was the sun… she was the sun and the moon and the stars and the Earth. She was every fantastical being. She was the light in his days.

And just because light fades, doesn’t mean it can’t come back. The book has told him. Told him light can return. Told him light is there if you only search for it. Told him sacrifice is for light.

Oh god that book… Where is it....

He’s been in the darkness for days. Weeks months years. There’s been so little light. But there was one… one that came into his mind when he was wallowing and forgetting himself. A girl, who held her hand out and looked at him like a human. Made him feel human for the first time in a long while. Let him shed a tear before the monster took over him. Let him show her all the fears of his life.

And that light is here now, talking him out of himself… now now now-

And you… you were happy.

Yes.

Sacrifice is for others. Sacrifice is for those who depend on you.

Sacrifice is for the light brushing his cheek. For the child in his heart still, begging in pleas he’s borrowed from his grandmother.

He stands on shaking legs, with the light of the sun in his heart and with hot tears filling his eyes, and he wishes with all of him that he had that book. His fingers twitch at the memory of feeling it in his hands. His heart lurches at all the memories- memories of women who held him close and begged to some invisible force that his life be easy.

He remembers, briefly and vaguely, the pleas of his grandmother. That he be happy and healthy and safe. That life be easier for him than any of them because he deserved it. She begged and pleaded all the time. She hoped and she wished.

His body aches standing here, staring down the monster that mirrors the evil that’s taken over his body and made it its own. And still, he’s within himself again. He sees it as clearly as he can with tears and with headaches and with every last memory and every last strike of pain.

There’s fear coursing through him… but that’s what comes with sacrifice. He knows that better than anyone, he thinks. He allows himself that last, tiny bit of selfishness.

Sacrifice isn’t easy. It’s pain and it’s fear- it’s the worry that maybe it won’t work. Maybe it won’t be worth it. Maybe the pain searing his hands at holding every evil thing back is only giving mere seconds of grace before the world ends anyway, putting all his actions in vain.

But this monster is him too. It’s the thing consuming him. With every strike it takes to his body, it’s attacking itself, and he knows this. Even mere seconds of grace can be worth it… maybe sacrifice isn’t always about success, just for the chance of hope. Isn’t that right? Just for a chance...

It’s violent… does sacrifice always have to be so violent?

His body falls… does sacrifice always have to end with someone fallen?

There are shrieks, distant and muffled…

Light fades and enters and fades, pressure appears on his arms and his name is being spoken. His mind briefly registers the face, the face of a girl he’s sacrificed himself for enough times he couldn’t count. A girl he’s stood in front of, metaphorically, to block any pain from reaching her. A girl he’s inflicted pain on, despite.

“I’m sorry.” is all he can force out, even through the desperation licking at him to say more. Say it all. Say everything.

In his last breath, the pain fades until all he can feel is the stickiness of the pendant on his sweaty and broken chest- the Mother pressed to him.

And he thinks of his grandmother. Thinks and wonders, with the wispy, fleeting thoughts going dark and black… thoughts of a place of hope and how his grandmother must be there- waiting with her clear eyes and kind smile and shaking hands to help him through it. To grab his arm and show him around. Just like she always did.

He wonders if he should thank her for the book.

[saladejin]

Call An Uber? | 05

BTS x Reader | idolverse au, uber driver!Reader, translator!Reader | Fluff, flirting, super slow burn, angst and hurt/comfort, mature themes and eventual smut

Summary: Your normal life with a normal, yet inconsistent job gets drastically changed when your dreams come true. Sounds boring right? What happens when all of this occurs, but you’re still doing something you love AND getting a large sum for it? Now there’s something to think about, and it’s definitely not what you’re thinking.

Warnings: Mild swearing

Word Count: 4k 

< masterpost >

A/N: Hey there tumblr readers! This story might not seem all that angsty or plot-heavy in these first few chapters, but I promise it builds into it. I apologise for all the slow burn, I just can’t help myself ^^;

»»————- <<prev | next >> ————-««

       Getting home after the calming car ride seemed a tad anti-climactic. Weariness from the day piled high onto my shoulders, and as I threw my bag into the corner of my bedroom, I all but flopped onto the bed unceremoniously.

The small apartment wasn’t much, but it was enough to sustain me. The landlord was polite at least, and the rent was luckily just within my budget for now. It consisted of a small kitchen and a cosy living room all in one tiny, yet open space. A door led into the one and only bedroom of the apartment, which was also lacking in spaciousness, but it wasn’t as if anyone else was living here. All in all, it was adequate despite not really being something I was used to.

Laying silently on the bed allowed my thoughts and memories from the day to shroud my mind. I remembered how helpless and overwhelmed I’d been feeling when escaping into the carpark of the building, and how my responsibilities had come crashing through like swelling waves of inky ocean water. 

Feeling lost was one way to describe that moment, but Yoongi had consoled me to a point where I felt stable and supported. Even if he didn’t mean to show it directly, of which I wasn’t so sure, his way of letting me know he cared hadn’t been lost on me. I was usually good at noticing these things, so it was surprising to see that he wanted to show the gentle side of him tonight. I guess I really was finding out how these boys lived. I was seeing their thought processes with my own very eyes, something vital that was missing in my connection with them before.

Things were happening quickly, but I was ready to let them happen with welcoming, open arms. I was going to absolutely thrive in this new lifestyle, so why let stress weigh me down like a pile of bricks? I just wouldn’t let it.

Rolling over to smooth down the pale bedsheets with my fingers, I couldn’t help but let my mind drift to the sharp eyes of Yoongi, the dazzling smile of Jimin, Namjoon’s dimples…and just all seven of them. I needed to let them know how their fans felt, and I needed them to let me know if they had any doubts about their popularity and future. This could be one of my purposes, and a goal combined with many, many ARMYs. If I had the chance to console them, just like Yoongi had with me, then I would jump at the opportunity with no malignant intentions. I only wanted to help them and share with them the happiness they had given me throughout the years. To groove out their misgivings and straying negativity that allowed unnecessary stress and anxiety to build.

This was my purpose.

~

The days scorched hotter and hotter, meaning another short meeting for us at the firm. Nobody wanted to stay inside a sticky office filled with the sounds of stuttering air conditioners and electric fans, so Bang PD let everyone go home earlier than usual. When I say earlier, I mean mid-afternoon anyway, so it’s not like it’s actually early.

I’d finally started out with my new job, and so far things had gone swimmingly. The staff were continuously friendly, and the workload was nothing too devastating. Since the company had been a little short on multilingual interpreters, the amount of language related jobs had been growing over time. I could have been overwhelmed, but instead it was somehow smooth sailing from the get-go.

Things were going splendidly, but I wondered about what was going to happen with my Uber job. Would I just stop? It wasn’t like I needed the money from it now, so what would even be the point of it? Meeting new people from all cultures and backgrounds wouldn’t even be an issue at all. Maybe, just maybe the idea of giving up my job as a glorified taxi driver was an imminent one.

~

The office had been bustling today, but I knew it was because everyone was focused on preparing for the upcoming BTS concert. One of the company’s translators held out some papers from where he sat in his wheeling chair. “(Y/n)-ssi, could you please drop these down to the stylists? I translated the articles like they asked, so they’ll want to have a look as soon as possible.”

“Of course. I was about to bring them some coffee anyway. They’ve been working tirelessly,” I smiled at him and grasped the papers. It seemed the marketing management had wanted select articles about their fashion sense, hair styling and makeup to be translated from various languages.

I scurried to the kitchen area where I’d already started on the coffees. Someone had graciously told me how most of the stylists liked their drinks, and I knew they would need it after how much they had been testing makeup supplies and hair products downstairs. I shuddered at the thought of having my fingers sticking together from the amount of hairspray circulating the room.

The basement was pretty much where everything happened. Practices, auditions, coaching etc. You name it.  After dropping off the notes and coffees, I was showered with gratitude from the stylists and was shocked to see just how tired and worn-down they were. The thought that something big was about to happen caused excitement to curl deep within the pit of my stomach.

Maybe there’ll be new hair colours soon?

“No worries, make sure you get some rest!” I reminded them before letting the door to the changing room click shut.

I was right about the hairspray thing, it was seriously suffocating in there. At least they had some air vents open for ventilation, but I felt bad for those kind-hearted men and women. They would most likely be staying there way into the hours of the night too.

I began to walk back towards the elevator, but my eyes were caught by a bright light flooding from one of the main practice areas. One of the doors had been left wide open, and I glanced inside to see a very expansive room enclosed by pure white walls. The floor was made up of tawny brown floorboards, or maybe vinyl, I wasn’t quite sure. I think it had only recently been renovated.

“(Y/n)? Hello!” a clear and high-pitched voice made me jump in my skin. I looked further into the room to spot Jimin resting in one of the black, wheeling chairs of the studio area. His fading blonde locks had been swept back completely, and I could tell he was tired and sweaty from practicing.

To his left was Hoseok, who seemed distracted until Jimin’s exclamation, and the last person in the room was none other than a certain Kim Taehyung. As soon as the youngest of the three found out I was hiding in the doorframe, his eyes blew wide.

“Hey Jimin, Hoseok-ssi and Taehyung-ssi,” I bowed, as was the custom, and made my way into the room. You really had to spin around to take everything in, it was incredibly large for a practice studio.

I turned when I heard footsteps and was greeted by a very bright and bubbly Taehyung.

“(Y/n)? Ah, it’s so great to meet you finally!” He bowed also and I instinctively reached out to shake his hand, smiling once he brought both of his warmer ones together around my own.

They’re so big, what the hell.

Ripping my line of sight away from his long fingers, I glanced behind him to see Hoseok making his way forward too. “Hey there! I’m also glad to meet you (Y/n).”

I exchanged similar greetings with the fiery red-head, but stepped back when Jimin intervened with a low-pitched whine.

“No, no.” He ran forward and grasped his two bandmate's shirts gently to pull them away. “Don’t crowd her, we’re all smelly from practice!”

His disgusted expression made me grin again, and I shook my head. “Don’t worry about that, a little sweat won’t kill me.”

Hoseok laughed while playfully batting away Jimin’s hands. “Sorry about that, we are kind of gross right now.” He started airing out his shirt rapidly while strolling over to where three water bottles rested along the wall. I noticed that they were the only people in the room and puzzled over the thought. they were usually here with a manager or something, weren’t they?

“What were you guys practicing? And where are the others?” I queried, and watched as Taehyung flashed me a boxy grin. Jimin just groaned and ran his fingers through his hair yet again.

“We’re practicing for the concert, but I only came a couple of hours ago, the others are just at home I think,” Taehyung explained, patting Jimin’s back heartily. “Jiminie and Hoseokie-hyung have been here all day. They’re so fit!”

I glanced over at the two dancers as Hoseok jumped over to tickle Tae lovingly, Jimin just smiled at their loud antics. I was beyond surprised, as none of the members even seemed too tired. They were simply out of breath despite the sheer amount of exercise they’d undergone.

“That’s amazing! You all have so much energy to be able to practice so much.” I earned all of their attentive gazes, Hoseok instantly gracing me with his own beaming smile.

“Thanks! We’re just having a little break, but we’ll start again soon. Would you like to watch?”

My heart almost leapt out of my chest at the thought.

���Would I? Of course I’d love to watch you guys dance.” I clapped my hands together in excitement, eyes bright and shining with an uncontrolled delight. This made Taehyung reach forward with both hands to make a 'flower' under my flushing face.

“How cute!” He cooed, and Jimin pulled him away again. An eye-smile was stretching across the shorter boy's face in the most endearing way possible. Hoseok laughed, following with a “very cute, very cute” and ran off to start the music again.

All three of them were in light clothing, but Hoseok was wearing a white short-sleeved t-shirt while the other two adorned button-ups varying in style. All three wore long black Puma pants, most likely because of the ambassadorship they were part of.

“Ah, I don’t want to mess up in front of (Y/n),” Jimin tilted his head and looked at me with a somewhat pained expression. When I raised my eyebrows at him, he pouted and shook his hair out of his downcast eyes. I felt like I needed to step in.

“Jiminie, you’re an amazing dancer, you’d even make messing up look good. Plus, it’s only practice.”

“Yeah Jimin-ah, she won’t mind,” Hoseok helped me out and as the music started blaring from the speakers again, the rapper jogged over to jab Jimin teasingly in the side.

From the words of encouragement, Jimin brightened and smiled in my direction again before joining the others with a serious glint in his eye. I sat against one of the pristinely white walls to watch the action unfold before me, knowing I was about to witness something magnificent. Taehyung started moving his hands and bobbing his body to the beat in that hilarious way he usually did in mock dance practices, and I couldn’t help but snort in amusement.

“Oh, Taehyung is improving! It must be because we have a lady in the room,” Hoseok teased and shook his head, breaking out into chuckles when Tae moved to hit his shoulder in protest. His bashful smile switched focus to me, and I nodded my head in approval.

“I'm loving the skills though.”

Suddenly, the starting track for ‘Fire’ began rumbling loudly through the speakers, and my ears perked in recognition. Was I actually going to see this performed in front of me? I knew this dance all too well from the countless videos I’d seen.

“Are you guys ready?” Hoseok hollered into the open space, and I watched them line up a few metres back from the large mirror. They must’ve been planning to perform this at the upcoming concert, but I wasn’t sure why they needed so much practice seeing as they literally performed it at most live events.

I suddenly threw my cardigan across the room and jump to my feet, rolling up my sleeves in determination. I didn’t even care if they thought I was the strangest person in the world right now, because this was ‘Fire’. “I’m so joining in!”

As the first ‘bultaoruene’ resonated against the pale walls, I ran into the middle of the room and launched straight into the first part of the dance. Despite wanting to come across as serious, I couldn’t keep a cool and collected demeanour and opted instead to laugh loudly. The others were no different, and as my arms started moving wildly, Jimin fell to the floor in a breathless wreck. Hoseok exaggerated his surprise by cupping his hands around his mouth and cheering me onwards while Taehyung mimicked him with his own loud whoops. All three ended up on the ground as I continued to dance, biting my lip to feign seriousness.

I didn’t try to replicate their dancing, as I knew I couldn’t reach their level, but I still shook my hands rapidly and squeezed impassioned eyes to parody something that resembled it. The music stopped, and I fell to the vinyl floor as well, my breathing shortened due to how much I was cackling. Hoseok had stumbled over to pause the track, and I could hear him suffering just as I was.

“Oh my-Oh my God that was great. Did you learn the whole thing?” he gasped out, making his way back over to where I was sitting with my head pressed into the cold floor. My whole body was shaking and erupting with shamed giggles, and when I rolled over, I hid my face in my hands to stop the embarrassment from showing.

“I’ve seen it too many times to not dance to it.”

“I was not expecting that, you have to dance with us, I’m begging you.” Taehyung ran over, his deeply toned sentence breaking up into various airy chuckles. Jimin was the last to get to his feet, but his face was completely reddened and his hair was even messier than before.

“We’ll teach you the rest. I think we’ve practiced the actual dances enough for today, don’t you think hyung?”

Hoseok exhaled loudly, his eyes crinkling with his smile after regaining his composure. 

“Yes, you’re right. And the newest member of the dance line needs some instruction.”

I was still on the floor, but at the agile dancer’s statement I fell over again. Taehyung and Jimin both smiled at the sight of my pained expression.

“Guys, I wouldn’t be able to dance the whole thing properly, let alone with phenomenal dancers like you right there.”

“Thank you for the compliment, but you are going to learn this. No buts.” Taehyung held out a helping hand, and I grasped it to help me get back on my feet. I then turned to Hoseok.

“Okay sonsaeng-nim, where do I start?”

All three boys laughed again, and Hoseok straightened himself, puffing out his chest to seem scholarly. Taehyung pointed towards him with a grin that only widened.

“Hobi-hyung is literally everyone’s dance teacher, he’ll make sure you get it perfect.”

At this, the greyish-brown haired boy rushed to line up beside me and looked sideways expectantly. Jimin , but chose not to line up. I nudged Taehyung into a straighter position with my elbow as Hoseok began pacing in front of us, massaging his chin with two fingers thoughtfully. He lowered his voice to sound gruff and strict, and I had to blow out my cheeks to keep it in.

“First lesson of the day, the chorus choreo.”

“Yes, teacher,” Taehyung and I recited in unison as if being scolded. Jimin nearly fell over again until Hoseok waved his hand dismissively and the whole act was dropped. I fell into the boy beside me, suddenly embarrassed once more, but not being able to contain myself any longer. Taehyung patted my shoulder comfortingly while stifling his own noises.

“Honestly, we weren’t joking about you learning the dance though,” Hoseok started and meandered over to grasp both my forearms, tugging on them to lead me forwards. I groaned and sent a look that screamed ‘help’ towards Jimin and Taehyung, but they both just snorted.

I internally cursed Jimin for betraying me like this. I’d thought he was my friend.

“Jimin-ah, Taehyung-ah, you’re going to help too.” Hoseok beckoned them over, and I could only grumble in more complaint.

“Okay, just get Jimin to show me some steps and I’ll see if I can do it properly.” I straightened my arms, which were still being pulled by Hoseok, and tapped my feet a couple of times to get ready. The red-haired dancer eventually dropped his hold, but looked down at his hands as if he’d touched something strange and foreign.

Jimin nodded at my request, and I paid close attention as he lined up in front of the mirror and ran through the starting choreography to the chorus. As both he and Hoseok showed me a slowed down version, I managed to get it all memorised. Taehyung clapped his hands to congratulate me, but his face fell when the phone in his pocket started buzzing incessantly.

“Sorry guys, it’s my turn to help Jin-hyung with dinner tonight. I have to go,” Taehyung fake sobbed, and I watched as Jimin went along with it to hug him comfortingly. Hoseok pretended to cry as well, and I couldn’t help but think this whole scene looked like he was about to be sacrificed to the Devil or something.

“Bye (Y/n), I hope I’ll see you soon,” The lively boy called as everything returned back to normal, and I couldn’t help but revel in the easy-going atmosphere surrounding me suddenly. I hadn't even met two of these people yet, but somehow I'd managed to skip past all the initial awkwardness of first meetings.

“Of course, definitely soon!” I vowed, and the singer left while grabbing one of the sports bags that rested by the door, continuing to walk backwards and wave rapidly. He was just too cute, and the way his eyes glimmered with hope just before he left was etched deeply into my mind. Even long after he was gone.

“We’re fine to teach you something, before we have to go anyway,” Hoseok turned back to us, and I almost face-palmed at the thought.

“Please don’t waste your time, I don’t even have a dancer’s body,” I spoke, my voice drawling out in protest.

“(Y/n) you do! Even if you were playing around before, you could still dance,” Jimin fought my statement, and I scoffed at his widened eyes. He was seriously against people belittling themselves.

“Plus, everyone gets better with practice,” Hoseok joined in, nodding his head cutely as he slammed his hands onto his hips. Jimin ran through the dance again, and I sewed their teachings together to try and copy him. I was shorter and had a different body shape to both dancers, but it wasn’t too difficult to try and alter the moves to accommodate for that. It was safe to say I actually ended up pretty proud of the outcome.

“I just don’t like how I can’t flow properly when I come up from the first move,” I grunted, trying out the steps again. Jimin hummed considerately before moving to stand behind me.

“Move your hands super quickly, and maybe keep this arm up so it’s easier.” He lightly grasped one of my forearms while I stayed frozen in position, and I actually saw in the mirror how it could help me. I was very much aware of how gentle his touch had been and how close his body was to mine. It didn’t help my racing thoughts when his warm puffs of breath made the hairs on the back of my neck tingle.

“And since you have to move your feet soon after, maybe don’t put so much weight on them beforehand,” Hoseok chipped in, and moved my other arm down so I could focus on my feet this time around. He’d been firmer than Jimin with his touch, but the singular fact that both of them had touched my arms in the span of a minute was enough to leave me breathless. I followed his instruction and gulped when the dancer’s lips quirked up into a knowing smirk.

The fucker knows what he’s doing.

“See, speed it up and try it now!” Hoseok bounced to get on my other side while Jimin stood and watched his partner offer his own extra tips. I found out just how useful a wall-sized mirror was when learning to dance, and when complimented by Hoseok’s timely sound effects, it wasn’t hard to get down the moves.

“Pa, pa and... boom! See, you have it. You’re a natural.” Hoseok reached up to exchange a sharp high-five, and I complied before covering my face again. This was almost too embarrassing. I just knew how badly my cheeks were flaring with flames of blazing pink.

“See hyung, I told you she was cute when she blushed.” One of Jimin’s fingers came to poke my cheek, just like he had done that one time in the car.

I reeled away from him. “Ah, don’t tease me, how rude!”

Hoseok and Jimin chuckled, and I heard the older dancer agree with my words in another fresh bout of mockery. “She’s right Jiminie, don’t embarrass her too much or she might just faint because of you.”

I growled, and they both stifled their laughing.

“As if I would faint, it’s not like I’ve never received a compliment before.”

“Ooh, cocky.” Hoseok tilted his head back and I smiled as both boys shook their heads at each other with crossed arms.

“Hey!” I pushed both of them away using their broad chests, scrunching my face up. Knowing it wasn’t convincing in the slightest, I inwardly cursed my continuous failure to hide emotions.

“But seriously, she has that natural aegyo,” Hoseok pointed out with wide eyes. Jimin’s jaw slackened in surprise before he agreed wholeheartedly.

 “I’m leaving, before my face burns clean off,” I then announced, pointing an accusing finger at the two chuckling dancers who were making their way over to gather their belongings and drink bottles.

 “Remind me to never be alone with you two again.”

“But (Y/n) …” Jimin licked his lips and smiled sweetly. “We’re not making any promises.”

The duality of this man truly scared me.

“Whatever, I should actually get going though,” I noted forlornly, not continuing to joke even though I really wished to do nothing but. The boys both nodded with their spirits also seeming to dampen slightly, but Hoseok lifted his head to smile with that signature sun-like glow of his.

“It was really fun to dance with you, please consider learning with us again (Y/n).”

“It sounds like you’re trying to sell me something, but sure I’ll think about it.”

Jimin erupted into giggles and slapped his elder on the shoulder before curling into him, just like he usually did when he laughed really hard. Hoseok merely pressed his lips together and tilted his head to seem hurt.

“Please do,” he agreed in a broken whisper, but I steeled my throat from letting anything close to laughter escape its clutches. I would be here for way too long if I couldn’t control myself.

“Okay bye!” I shout, listening to their farewells before ducking out into the chilled hallway.

Time had seriously flown by, and I remembered that I would have been home hours ago if I hadn’t been so severely side-tracked. I sighed with weariness as I finally made my way towards the steel doors of the elevator, listlessly passing a trashcan full of several empty coffee cups.

            Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.  

tagged: @l4life​, @joyful-jimin​

[lumiolivier]

The Good Old Days Chapter 29: A Walk of Shame Looks Good on You

A/N: Hi, friends! Look, I'm sitting here waiting for bleach to process, so I got a little time to kill. But before we get into anything fun, we need to take care of some business first. Nothing bad. It's just a little housekeeping before I leave for Michigan.

I know I said you'd be taken care of while I'm gone. Well, I lied. I thought you'd be taken care of, but I'm going to be away from my computer and away from my desk and you're going to have to wait a couple weeks until the next update, ok? I hope that's alright with you. I really did try, guys. I tried my damnedest. So, we'll be back in August. I promise. And I love you x

I’m pretty sure I left Veronica in capable hands. At least I sure as hell hope so. Once my shift came to an end, I wanted nothing more than to go home and crash. Granted, I knew I’d be up half the night, worrying about Veronica and hoping she made it home ok, but I’m sure she’ll be alright. If all else fails, she can kick ass with the best of them. And Tessa didn’t seem like the type to steal one of Veronica’s kidneys. I hope things work out with those two.

All I wanted now was to go home and crash, though. It’s been a long ass day. And a long ass night. And all I wanted was my bed. That sounded downright heavenly. And maybe a drink or two. Just a little something, something to cap off the night. It’s not like I got to have one with the Old Man. I was busy working the bar. Even though I wasn’t technically supposed to. But I digress. Still, a drink sounded nice. Both my brothers had their vices. César smoked like a chimney and I’m not sure how legal Tony’s vices were. I knew he kept them in the house, but I wasn’t going to tell anyone. I don’t think he even knew I knew.

Once I got home, I went straight into the bedroom and fell into my bed without a sound. Good. I could use about twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep. But I knew better than that. I took a quick hit from the tequila bottle and shut my eyes. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t just get that twelve hours of sleep, but I’d have something better in place of my body pillow. But I knew that wasn’t happening. Unless one of my brothers were stupid enough to try and be my little spoon. We were close, but we weren’t that close.

The next morning, I woke up to an empty house. Tony and César weren’t in their beds. Mama had already left for work. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. The world was my oyster. At least this time, I didn’t wake up wanting to walk into oncoming traffic, so I got that going for me. And even with this new lease on life (despite me still wishing like hell that Vanessa as on the next flight home), I needed a way to kill the day before I had to go play in the Narrows.

Breakfast? Maybe I start with breakfast. And it happens to be eleven o’clock. I knew where I could get the best breakfast in the city. Just down the block. I threw my shoes on and headed toward that beautiful, bright green oasis in the middle of this concrete jungle. Dios los bendiga…I’m home. Well, I’d always feel at home in the city I loved, but this? This seemed a little more like home than I could’ve ever anticipated in my life.

“Buenos dias, niño!” Abuela greeted me. And right there. Right there was the cure for what ailed me. If only I had the energy to come here yesterday morning. Maybe I wouldn’t have been in the funk I’ve been in since a flight left JFK for Rome yesterday morning. But I digress. I still had Abuela.

“Morning,” I melted inside.

“Regular order then?” she assumed.

“Si, por favor,” I nodded, “And uh…You know how you’ve been making my horchata with…”

“Espresso in your horchata,” Abuela knew me all too well, “Of course, Frankie. I can tell when you had a rough night. I’m not going to ever say no to you and you should know better than to even think I would.”

“Sorry, Abuela,” I giggled a bit. Yep. This woman would always be the cure for whatever ailed me. In this case, it’s depression and a certain kind of homesickness I’ve never had before.

“It’s alright, mijo,” she let it go, “You seem off. And not like you went out with Tony and César last night and came home an hour after closing time. Is everything alright?”

“It’s been better,” I brushed her off, “But nothing you need to worry about.”

Because that was for me to worry about. I didn’t need to put that burden on Abuela’s shoulders. As good as a vent would probably do me, she didn’t need that. And I didn’t really feel like getting into it. Abuela had enough to take care of. And I needed a distraction more than anything. That’s half the reason why I liked coming here. I watch Abuela carefully craft my newborn baby burrito with love while I get to throw down horchata. Occasionally, I get some words of wisdom from her. It’s a good time. Besides, this food truck had more than just Abuela memories attached to it. It had…

BAM!

I felt a tiny pair of arms wrap around my waist and a face in the middle of my back, “We really need to stop running into each other like this, Frankie.”

Gracias a dios, she made it home ok. And I’m assuming with both kidneys. There’s the other memories Abuela’s food truck has…It’s where it all began again. If I never would’ve met the little spazz at my hip, who knows if I would’ve gotten my second shot with her sister? But I don’t know…I think I like her sister. Just a little bit. And…Well…She’s not too bad either. I spun Veronica around and got a decent look at her. And she looked like hell, but in the best way.

“Let’s see,” I teased her a bit, “Last night’s clothes, hair a mess, a hoody that does not belong to you, smudged mascara under your eyes…What? No broken heel, Veronica?”

“No,” Veronica rolled her eyes, “You’re mixing me up with my sister again, Frankie. That’s a Vanessa thing. I don’t wear heels. More of a platform leather boots type myself, but that’s just me.”

“Still,” I threw an arm around her, “Walks of shame look cute on you, Veronica.”

“Last night was fun,” Veronica leaned on me, stilling a drink from my horchata, “I fucking owe you.”

“For what?” I giggled, “I didn’t do anything.”

“My ass, you didn’t!” she squealed, “Dude, it’s not every day someone like Tessa walks into a bar that I just happen to be at for the night. That kind of serendipity doesn’t happen for someone like me.”

“I’d be careful about whose love story you’re poking at there, Veronica,” I argued, “Because…Uh…Didn’t we meet because of a relationship that started that very same way?”

“We met right here,” Veronica reminded me, “Because someone was too chicken shit to call Vanessa on his own and needed a wingman.”

“Call last night me paying you back,” I threw a ten on the window, “Abuela?”

“Si, Frankie?” she popped out, “Necesitas algo?”

“She does,” I ordered for her, “Before she slurps down all of my horchata.”

“I’m a thirsty bitch,” Veronica shrugged, “Sue me.”

“Gladly.”

“I got dibs on Vanessa.”

“Dammit…” I grumbled to myself, “Alright. I respectfully withdraw and I’ll just be over here doing other things. Don’t worry about me.”

“You’re just mad she’d represent me first,” Veronica laughed.

“And Abuela,” I added, “If you wanted to add extra spit to her taquitos, I wouldn’t say no.”

“Francisco!” Abuela snapped, “No! Sabes que nunca lo haría!”

“It’s a joke,” I backed off, “Just a little joke. A little ha, ha. Sorry…I know you wouldn’t.”

“Es verdad…” Abuela wrapped my burrito up and got started on Veronica’s taquitos, “Honestly, Frankie…I’m disappointed.”

“It’s alright, Abuela,” Veronica let it go, “I knew he meant it with love.”

“So,” I wondered, “What happened after you and Tessa left the Narrows?”

“We went out,” Veronica’s face lit up, “There’s a club about five blocks down from her apartment building. Her band played!”

“I didn’t know she was in a band.” But I could tell she at least played by the state of her fingers.

“I didn’t either until last night,” she swooned, “And she’s damn good at it! I’ve never seen someone jam like that. She’s much better than any of the local bands around here. Hell, at one point, I didn’t think she even needed the rest of the band. She was amazing on her own. But it’s more than just that. You should’ve seen it, Frankie. She’s…She’s too cool for me. I know I’m a pretty cool bitch, but she’s even cooler than I am.”

“Shut up,” I settled her, “There’s no way.”

“It’s true!” Veronica went on, “When we went back to her apartment, she showed me this big, beautiful bong that she blew herself! And it was so fucking pretty. It was probably a couple feet long, but it was black and hot pink and a neon green and this really pretty smoky electric blue and I have never wanted something more in my life. Dear god, it’s gorgeous. We burned one and went to sleep. No sex, no nothing. Just…Neither one of us wanted to sleep alone and Tessa wasn’t going to make me go back home. So, we didn’t. So, I laid there with her and…Frankie, I almost cried. It felt so fucking nice for a change.”

“Well, I’m happy for you, kiddo,” I kissed the top of her head, “And I’m glad I could help. But like I said. You helped me get Vanessa. Why shouldn’t you get Tessa, too?”

“I appreciate it,” Veronica threw her arms around me, “Seriously, Frankie…I’ve never had a serious girlfriend before. I’ve had casuals, but never anything serious.”

“Are you already thinking serious?” I gasped.

“Kind of…” a quick flash of red brushed across her cheeks, “But I don’t need your judgment, Mr. I’ve known Vanessa for six months and I damn near proposed to her the other night.”

“I never said there was any sort of judgment,” I assured her, grabbing her order from the window, “Gracias, Abuela.”

“De nada, cariño,” Abuela smiled, “Please. Go on. This is the most excitement I’ve gotten all morning. I’m invested.”

“I need to be getting home,” Veronica winced, “Before I end up playing into Victoria’s kidnapping fantasies, too.”

“Alright,” I hugged her tight, “And again, my offer still stands.”

“I know,” she nuzzled into me, “If Victoria becomes too much for me to handle and I can’t suppress the urge to choke her anymore, I know where you live. I know where you sleep. I know where you work when you’re working legit. And I’m more than welcome any time I want.”

“That’s my girl,” I kissed her forehead, “I love you, Veronica.”

“I love you, too, Frankie.” Don’t get me wrong. I love Vanessa dearly. But damn, having Veronica here is going to be a major help to my psyche while she’s gone. Mostly because I don’t think Veronica’s going to let me be depressed and beat myself up for letting Vanessa go to Italy. That wasn’t my decision to make. Hell, it was barely hers. Because there’s no way this doesn’t reek of Victoria’s meddling.

Instead of getting pissed like I probably should, I reveled in the fact that she was getting a whole different life experience. And if anyone could relate to what that experience was, it’d be me. My first time in Spain in my cognitive memory was the weirdest culture shock. I had grown up in New York. I knew nothing about life there except from what Mama and my brothers told me. But I had nothing firsthand. Until I was processing everything at four years old. Getting on the plane, making a layover in London, wondering why the hell everyone talked so weird. It’s not that I didn’t know the language. Mama made damn sure of that. To the point where I remember her bitching at Tony or César for speaking to me in English.

But Vanessa wasn’t dealing with Spain. Vanessa was in Italy. I didn’t even know if she was there yet. She had to be. Unless she had that same layover last a little longer than what she’d like. Than what I’d like. But they happen. It’s not like we had control over that. Still, I went home to an empty apartment and thumbed through the TV, hoping there’d be something on. Something to hold my attention long enough while I ate. I mean, Willow was on, but I’d rather not watch Willow for the millionth time just because it was on.

Ring, ring.

Huh…It’s not often the phone rings. I got up from the couch and grabbed it, just to shut it up, “Bueno…”

“Buona sera, amore mio…” a soft, husky voice greeted me on the other end. And I’m not too proud to admit I damn near broke down, “Quanto mi manchi così…”

“Vanessa…?” I could hardly get her name out of my mouth.

“Hi, baby…” her voice broke a bit. It’s good to know I’m not alone here, but that was one of the worst sounds in the world. I couldn’t tell if those were tears of joy or tears of pain. I’m going to go out on a limb, cross my fingers, and say it’s joy.

“Fuck, it does my heart good to hear your voice again,” I gushed, “Are you alright? You doing ok?”

“Ok as I can be, I suppose,” Vanessa reported, “I mean…It’d be nice if I was there with you, but…”

“I know, I know,” I settled her, “Can’t get what we want. But look on the bright side. We got this.”

“Yeah, we do…” I swear to God, I heard a smile in that girl’s voice. And in that moment, I knew everything was going to be ok.

[selestialhealing]

With May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I thought I’d share that I have every intention of taking care of myself and seeking help to get back to the person I know I can be. I’ve struggled with waves of not being well since I was a child, but this past year has really affected me in ways I never expected.

Not only did everything change in the blink of an eye with everything being shut down and moved online, but I also entered a new program with a lot more responsibility. I’m happy to know I finished strong, but I still sit here and think of all the ways I could’ve performed better and gotten through the days easier if only I had taken the time to take care of myself and get back into therapy. I look around and see so many others doing the same thing, and I’m hoping we can all work towards doing what’s truly best for us.

I’m tired of feeling overwhelmed from the moment I wake up until the moment I lay my head down, only to stay up for hours struggling to slow down my mind. I’m tired of feeling inadequate because I fail to do what I used to do so easily and what I know I’m capable of. I’ve struggled a lot with imposter syndrome, wondering if I belong where I am after being so certain this was where I was meant to be—living life on screen and away from others has proven to be difficult, sucking the creativity and ability to relax out of me. I’ve struggled to create. I’ve struggled to write, especially over the past semester. I’ve struggled to sleep, to get up in time, to stay on top of everything, to allow myself to be human—all while dealing with technological issues and adjustments and balancing the obligations I feel to others, myself, and the many things I choose to be part of.

Since I first started experiencing symptoms of anxiety, depression, and OCD in elementary school, I’ve struggled with convincing myself I’m okay by consuming myself with distractions—more specifically extracurricular activities, taking care of others, and my education. Sometimes, I get so angry with myself when I feel like I’m at my breaking point because I know I spread myself too thin. I convince myself everything’s fine and I’m just overwhelmed with my workload or the responsibilities for the day when it’s not that simple. My symptoms have only gotten worse: not eating, not sleeping, not drinking water, not exercising, not feeling, not waking up until I’m no longer stuck in a vivid dream (and y’all, I really mean STUCK). I’ve been on the same medicine since high school, and it hasn’t seemed to helped a bit since we first returned to school in the Fall. I haven’t been back to counseling because of the influx of new patients and backed up waiting lists in surrounding areas. I haven’t been back to counseling because I keep putting it off, because I don’t have insurance, because I don’t want to deal with paperwork or making appointments. I haven’t been back to counseling because I’m scared.

Mental health is not talked about or taken seriously enough in a time that everyone is truly being affected. Since I’ve officially submitted my last final for the semester, the first thing on my to-do list is to find an office to start counseling with. The next is to follow up on new medication. And after that, who knows... Lots of healing. Lots of accountability. Lots of doing the work no matter how unfair it is.

I want to write. I want to read. I want to sit outside because I can, because my soul demands it. I want to dance and listen to music and play music again. I want to socialize and connect and be the best version of myself, the person 12-year-old me would think is the coolest. I want to take selfies again. I want to look in the mirror and see a twinkle in my eyes, to wake up and feel worthy and deserving and alive. I want to feel more than a heavy weight in my chest or my mind being crushed by the feeling of impending doom (over something as simple as waking up later than I intended when my body clearly needed rest). It is so exhausting to live a life where you feel you’re just going through the motions, not making memories or processing everything you’re experiencing. It’s scary to forget the feeling of lasting joy, to wake up and feel like nothing you do can make things better, to realize you just keep distracting yourself and setting yourself up for failure just because you’re “making it” through.

I am so much more than I have been lately (and lately dates back to a long time ago if we’re being wholeheartedly honest), but I’m trying to be kind and forgiving and patient and gracious to myself just as I would be to any other person struggling to get through the day. I’m trying to tell myself it’s not too late, that it’s worth it, that it will get better—even when my mind tries to convince me otherwise. I haven’t been as transparent as I used to be, acting like everything’s fine and posting the most put-together-looking versions of myself and only sharing the good parts—if I even have the energy for that.

The truth is there have been lots of cloudy days over the past year, lots of tears, lots of out-of-character moments, lots of backsliding in any progress I’ve ever made, lots of falling back on unhealthy coping mechanisms I spent months unlearning. There have been lots of moments of almost giving up, of being mean to myself, of doubting myself and my ability and my worth. Our minds are so powerful, carrying the power to build or destroy. Mine has been destroying me, little by little, every day. I haven’t slept or eaten like I should. I haven’t listened to my body. I’ve pushed aside the obvious symptoms and convinced myself it could be dealt with later, all while knowing I’ve been sinking deeper and deeper. Every. Single. Day.

Here’s to going on this journey once again and hopefully staying on top of it, giving myself the time and space to thoroughly heal. I’m so used to pouring myself into others, into a paper or my classes, into organizing events and performing jobs that drain the little bit of energy I can muster up (and yes, these things are rewarding when I accomplish the task at hand... but I’m still not okay). So much of my worth has been tied to the accomplishments I achieve. This will be my third time scheduling a consultation with a therapist. This will be my third time switching medications after building up a tolerance or dealing with side effects since the age of 17. I don’t like to think this will be forever, but until I do something, it will be.

Life is hard, especially with everything going on. Please check in on those around you. Check in on yourself. Encourage yourself to do what’s necessary to stop giving into what you have the power to change, even if it takes a bit more time or energy than you’d like. If you read this far, thank you for taking the time to do so. Thank you for caring. For once, I’ll say openly and publicly I’m not okay. Most days, I’m far from it. And I haven’t been for quite some time. In so many ways, I’ve been in much lower places mentally. Yet in other ways, I’m lower than I’ve ever been before. I’m tired. But I’m tired enough to do something to change this narrative before I’m too tired to do anything at all. And I’m hoping if you feel this too, you will hold yourself to the same standard. Reminding myself and everyone who’s read this far that progress is never linear, but that doesn’t mean progress isn’t obtainable either. I hope you learn to remind yourself this too.

That degree isn’t everything. That job isn’t everything. That inconsiderate person in your life isn’t everything. It is not the end of the world, no matter how much it feels to be crashing and burning down around you. And nothing you do or don’t do matters if you’re not capable of soaking in the moment, if you’re not all here to experience it. I hope I can learn to remember this. I hope you can too.

[antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx]

Mouse’s Reclist (#2/?)

It’s time for a second reclist! Here’s the first, if you want. This is again in no particular order. Title, author, pairing, and fandom will be listed, as well as if it’s a WIP.

The first few are going to be Snarry, because my reading list recently has basically consisted of entirely Snarry. Why? Because I fucking love Snarry. Sue me.

Angels on the Moon by Writcraft - Harry Potter/Snarry  - The aftermath of the war is almost as difficult as the war itself, Harry is a mess and Severus is a reluctant survivor forced back to Hogwarts to recuperate from his injuries. When a brick-bonding spell goes awry, Harry and Severus are forced to confront hatred, misunderstandings and a new and unexpected intimacy which takes them both by surprise. Notes: This is the classic-style Eighth Year!Fic, which has long been my favourite trope in the HP fandom. It’s an especially loved trope of mine when it comes to Snarry, too, as I am problematic filth, and teacher-student relationships are my jam. It’s also a classic bonding!fic. But the way it handles the tropes is just… *chef’s kiss*

The Man Underneath by maraudersaffair - Harry Potter/Snarry - Severus is a secret Auror and must always be disguised. When Harry Potter becomes his new partner, Severus struggles hiding his true identity and burning attraction. Notes: This is more bottom!Snape than top!Snape, which I know isn’t to everyone’s taste. However, it’s fucking fantastic, and as someone who has a cathartic and self-fulfilling love of “char A is ugly and has a shittonne of self-hatred and yet manages to score super hot char B” (something that I struggle with myself and still worry how I manage to keep my own gorgeous partner over), this is perfect. Not that I even agree with J.K.’s assessment on Sev’s ugliness. I like the “goth filled with churning angst” look. 

a forest, dark and deep by bleedcolor - Harry Potter/Snarry - Once, many years ago (for that is when all great stories begin, many years ago; we never consider we might be in the midst of our own great story) there lived a boy. But wait, you might say, there is nothing special about a boy living, many people do and never amount to much of anything. You would be right, but you would also be wrong, because this story is not about a boy who lived, but The Boy Who Lived, and that is all the difference. Notes: Harry is cursed and must go on an adventure to the Fountain of Youth to find the cure. I cried. I cried a lot. I cried a lot a lot a lot a lot. Happy ending, though! Fairy tale fic. One of the best fics to read if you want magic in the HP universe portrayed more like magic in ancient medieval history tends to be portrayed: mysterious, Eldritch, Occult-like power that requires strange and sometimes dangerous rituals to harness.

you like making me work for it by bottlefamebrewglory - Harry Potter/Snarry - “Before what, Mr. Potter?”//Before Snape had looked at him, drunk and miserable without knowing why, and told him that he could change his future if he wanted. Before he had pulled Snape out of the darkness he’d been determined to drown in. Before the memories. Before he’d looked into Snape’s eyes and watched him die.//Harry didn’t often change his mind, not about people. He’d been accused by Hermione more than once of being stubborn, even prejudiced. And, once upon a time, he’d thought he’d known exactly who Severus Snape was. But that had changed and Harry was no longer that boy anymore, just as Snape could no longer ever be just his hated professor.//“Before,” Harry said again, more finally.//Harry was pretty sure the fact that everyone never thought he’d live past seventeen was at least half the reason becoming an actual adult was so goddamn strange. Severus just wanted to get on with his life now that it was free of controlling old men.//Or, five times Harry flirted with Snape and one time Snape flirted with Harry. Notes: @snapedefender‘s most recent masterpiece. Post-War!fic, one of the best of. Harry worms his way into Severus’ life, as he always does. Also he has a big crush. Their interactions are golden. Everything about this is golden, in fact. It’s just delightful. Read it, please.

How the War Was Won by avioleta - Harry Potter/Snarry - Severus Snape should be dead. Instead, he wakes up after the Battle of Hogwarts to find himself quarantined in a house full of Gryffindors, waiting for Harry bloody Potter to save the world…again. And Severus must be going crazy because he can’t seem to stop thinking about Potter. (Or, where Harry needs a distraction, and Severus doesn’t refuse.) Notes: War Doesn’t End with The Battle of Hogwarts!fic. And it’s by avioleta, a longtime and well-loved Snarry writer. Well-loved for good reason! They know what they’re doing, and it shows. I’ve long loved “Harry and any number of Slytherins are holed up together and must get along” as a trope, and this nails it perfectly. Another fav was in my previous reclist, Hauntingly by ObsidianPen, where Harry is holed up with Draco, Sev, AND Tom! Fun times!

Chasing Ghosts by DictionaryWrites - Harry Potter/Snarry/WIP - “I guess I’m not ready to join the land of the living just yet,” Harry says. “Need a little more time here at Hogwarts, with all the ghosts. You know what I mean?”//In the aftermath of the war, Harry doesn't feel ready to leave the safety of the castle, and to go out into the world at large: he wants to stay. The Room of Requirement - with great reluctance - grants his wish. Notes: Adult!Harry wakes up in the Marauders Era and becomes a teacher, all while he tries to figure out the nature of spacetime. TIME TRAVEL!FIC! That’s in all caps because I love and adore time travel!fic with all my heart. Again, more of a bottom!Snape story. I used to think I preferred top!Snape, but bottom!Snape has come into my heart with a passion as of late and showed me I’m not always going to want Snape to nail Harry into his mattress. This also shows more of Snape’s backstory, with mentor!Lucius and all, which is a fav of mine as well.

OKAY! Enough Snarry, yes, sorry. Moving on!

Love Potion #9 by murderlight - Bleach/GrimmIchi - Gifted with a horrifying box of potion-laced chocolates from Urahara in the hopes he might feed them to somebody, Ichigo thought all the excitement for Valentine’s Day was done with. Then Grimmjow had to get snacky.//A story in which Ichigo is entrusted with the scientifically altered affections of his once-enemy, and might just discover some of his own. Notes: I love the goddamn love potion/love spell trope. This one highlights the dubcon nature of making someone fall in love with you (even on accident) a lot more, but still makes everyone’s feelings feel genuine and real. And of course it ends happily. And there’s no noncon, if that’s not to your taste. Ichigo is a good boy and does not stroke that pussy until that pussy is entirely free from Kisuke’s experimental serums. Yes, I made that pun.

The Edinburgh Problem by snorklepie - Sherlock/Johnlock - “A nice holiday, just a bit more...murdery. ” John said drily.//“Yes! The best kind of holiday!” Sherlock beamed. “So we won’t get bored!”//After he separates from Mary, John returns to Baker Street. Following a request for help from Sherlock's cousin Violet, the detective and his blogger take a trip to Edinburgh. John discovers more about the Holmes family and Sherlock than he bargained for, but tries not to run screaming. Notes: I fell in love with Violet immediately. I am so gay. If you are also attracted to women, you will probably join me in falling in love with Violet. She is amazing, and very Holmes. But a more balanced Holmes. Well, as balanced as a Holmes can be. I love case fic, I love Sherlock Holmes in general because of my adoration for murder mystery (yes, I am a forensics major, thank you for being able to clock me very obviously), and I love deep backstory and family bonding. It’s a long, long ride, but it is undoubtedly worth every single minute.

The Loss of Flesh and Soul by deuxexmycroft - Sherlock/Johnlock/Abandoned WIP - Five years after John Watson puts the murderous Sherlock Holmes behind bars, a vicious copycat killer emerges. A reluctant John is pulled out of retirement to seek the expertise of the only man who can help, a man who has developed an unsettling obsession with John himself.//Crossover with Red Dragon/Silence of the Lambs Notes: It’s Hannigram but Johnlock, what’s not to love? Sherlock’s characterisation in the TV show is already unsettling enough (well, in the beginning, but I like to pretend Sherlock doesn’t exist past S2), so adding in a little Hannibal Lecter is fantastic. Yes, it’s an abandoned WIP. Yes, that hurts like hell. But it’s so, so worth it anyway. Seriously, this is one of the best executions of serial killer!Sherlock I’ve seen in fandom, and given how fucking gigantic the Sherlock fandom is, hopefully you can see how big of a thumbs up that is imho!

Sinking the Land by emungere - Sherlock/Mystrade - Three weeks ago, Mycroft Holmes picked Lestrade up outside New Scotland Yard and made him an offer he'd been unable to refuse, despite his best judgement. Mycroft had sucked his cock, dropped him off at home, and Lestrade hadn't heard a word from him since.//Now, the door of the black car swung open as Lestrade drew level with it. He could just see Mycroft's profile, hawkish nose and shallow chin limned by the orange glow of the streetlight. Notes: Porn WITH plot! That’s the best way to take your porn, imho. One of the best ways I’ve seen the Mystrade relationship developed. It’s just so real. And Lestrade is so head-over-heels, which is my favourite way to take my Lestrade :p.

Clark Kent, of Krypton by TerresDeBrume - DCEU/Superbat - Batman crashes on Krypton a few days before the Turn of the Year celebrations, and Kal-El's life takes a sharp turn to the left, on a path that will, ultimately, lead him to becoming Clark Kent. Notes: Krypton Wasn’t Destroyed!fic is always, always, always my favourite. Sci-fi mystery again, yes. If you saw my first reclist, then you understand that I am always going to fall for a sci-fi mystery fic. This one develops Kryptonian culture beautifully, and equally-as-perfectly encapsulates what “Clark Kent Pretending to Be a Mild-Mannered Reporter, but on Krypton” would actually look like.

Q It Again by writerofprose - Star Trek/QCard - Picard thinks his position, as captain of the Enterprise, plays the largest role in Q's obsession with him. Q would like to take that bet, even if Picard wasn't making one. What say they try it again, from the start? Without the captain nonsense? Notes: A poignant take on Q’s weird fixation with Picard. Not that anyone can blame him. I mean, shit, the man is Jean-luc Picard. Anyone would be fixated on him. Q uses his Q powers to explore Picard in multiple alternate universes, and erases his own memories in order to come in unbiased. Picard gets to keep his original memories, and those of the AU. Does Q still like Picard as much when he’s not at the helm of the Enterprise?

American Outlaws by manic_intent - Red Dead Redemption/Morston - “Bounty’s for one ‘Jim Milton’,” Sadie said, as she got close to the man under the oak tree. “Wanted for murder, robbery, and unnatural acts.”//“Unnatural what?”///“Don’t got details on here.” Sadie passed the folded up poster to her hunting partner. “You all right?”//Arthur Morgan didn’t answer her as he smoothed open the poster. He was aggressively smoking a cigarette, his second, judging from the stub on the grass. Notes: I loved RDR and RDR2 so much that I wrote my own fic in the fandom, despite knowing jackshit about late 1800’s America. It was only a ficlet, in order to hide how little I remember from my contemporary history classes, but much more talented people than me took on the burden of whole-ass novels. Here’s everyone’s fav BNF manic’s take on a fix-it Morston, pre-RDR1 but post-RDR2. It’s excellent. Who doesn’t enjoy forbidden love historical romance? Especially with a delicious helping of age gap. If you’d like Vandermorgan or even Vandermorston, check out more of manic’s stuff, and also kriegersan, who is another long-time fav of mine. 

Every Deckerstar fic by wollfgang. But especially a softer beginning, an amnesia!fic, and if you saw all of me, a true form!Lucifer!fic. You know, since angels are described as weird Eldritch beings in ancient texts. Both tropes are my favourite. Also that latter one has monsterfucking and we are all monsterfuckers here.

A Modest Proposal by ignaz - House M.D./Hilson - Tritter's case against House still depends on subpoenaed testimony from Wilson. To save House from losing everything, the doctors of PPTH decide on an unusual solution, which in turn leads to unexpected consequences. This is a story about the sacrifices we make that turn out not to be such great sacrifices after all. (Contains spoilers for everything up to and including "Merry Little Christmas.") Notes: Work 355 on the AO3. It’s that OG. And for an OG slash fandom, too. Well, not Star Trek levels of OG, but it’s a fandom based on Sherlock Holmes, and ACD did come before Star Trek! You’ve probably read it. It’s the OG Hilson Pretend Marriage!fic. But I had to rec it because when I get bored I watch House on Amazon Prime (or the thousands of clips they upload to YT nowadays), and I always am struck by HOW GAY HOUSE AND WILSON ARE OH MY GOD. I can never watch it with Mum in the room, though, because she was in the medical field before she retired, and the unrealistic nature of how House characters behave (and some of the medical procedures) make her SOOOOOO peeved. Though doctors, especially surgeons, were apparently huge egotistical dicks at times. Maybe not kill your own patient levels, though.

In A Place Where No One Appeared by Gefionne - Star Wars/Kylux - Following the destruction of Starkiller Base, General Hux is ordered to remove a wounded Kylo Ren to a place where he can recuperate. Knowing nowhere else to house him safely and discreetly, Hux takes Ren to his family’s estate on Arkanis. He anticipates adding this experience to the already long list of abhorrent memories he has of his childhood home, but six weeks in company with Ren turns out to be something quite unlike Hux expected. Notes: The imagery is so fucking vivid, I love it. The entire world of Arkanis is just lit up so beautifully in Gefionne’s words. This takes a little liberty with Hux’s backstory, given there wasn’t too much out at the time, but it’s so fucking good, I’d prefer its canon to the actual one, lmao. 

all that you love will be carried away by coldhope - Star Wars/Kylux - Supreme Leader, the oscillator is failing. The collapse has begun. There is nothing that can be done.//Hux, sent to retrieve Kylo Ren from the dying Starkiller Base, has lost almost everything, and has little patience or tolerance left for anyone or anything--particularly not Snoke's pet pseudo-Sith and his amateur theatrics. But you do the job that is in front of you, to the best of your ability, and you hold on as long as you can. Notes: One of the first Kylux fics, and one of the best. Their relationship is just so real here.

London Calling by SectoBoss - Overwatch/WidowTracer - Recaptured by Overwatch, Widowmaker is sent on a mission to assassinate a high-ranking Talon agent in London. It should be an easy mission – get in, take the shot, and leave. But when Tracer’s your getaway pilot a lot of things can go wrong, and things like 'subtlety' and 'discretion' tend to be the first casualties. Now, lying low after the mission goes awry, the pair of them have to survive in the city until Overwatch can get them home. Notes: Written when OW was in its heyday. And before the fandom was qqqquite as bad as it became. A WidowTracer case!fic, with Amelie as the reluctant good guy, which is always the best trope and I don’t take concrit on this point.

To the Victor, The Spoil by Annakovsky - Hunger Games/Haymitch/Katniss - No berries, no mockingjay, no rebellion. Katniss killed Peeta in the arena, and now she has to live with herself like every other victor. Notes: An old fandom, an older fic, back in the day when nobody complained about fucked up dark!fic. And fucked up dark!fic this is. Rape, age gap, age gap rape, Katniss losing all hope about the future, etc. But damn, it’s good.

The Want of You by MKK - Star Trek/Garashir - Julian Bashir is not quite sure yet about his feelings toward his enigmatic new friend Elim Garak. So when they both show symptoms of a mysterious illness, it seems they'll now have more time apart to ponder the future of the relationship. Their symptoms worsen, however, and to their shock, they discover there's only one way to effectively and inexplicably ease the pain: getting physically closer and closer - and closer. Notes: A forced bonding!fic where Bashir doesn’t actually know Garak all that well. As in, set very early in the canon. Very early. Which is my favourite way to read this beloved trope, because the whole fun of it (imho) is characters who barely have a grasp on each other’s personalities being forced to learn them.

Timeshare by astolat - Harry Potter/Drarry - “It’s not for long,” Hermione said. “By the time we get back to Hogwarts, the Unfettering Brew will be ready.”//“Listen to you!” Ron said. “He’s got to get through a month with the Dursleys and a month at Malfoy Manor. With Draco Malfoy.”//“Yeah, thanks,” Harry said, because he hadn’t just spent the last week contemplating just how much more horrible his summer holidays were about to be than they’d ever been before. Notes: Another forced bonding!fic, this time by AO3’s own founder. I love it. I love it, I love it, I love it. Their interactions here are perfect.

Speaking of Drarry, here’s a Veela!Draco fic I’ve recced before, but I don’t believe was in the original masterpost.

Talk to Me by Saras_Girl - Harry Potter/Drarry - When the usual channels of communication are shut down, the most surprising people can find a way in. A strange little love story. Notes: Harry is temporarily deaf and blind thanks to a misaimed spell. Draco takes care of him, in secret. Identity porn at its best.

Semaphore by DevilDoll - MCU/Stony - "I’m trying to like you, Tony. You’re just making it very hard." Notes: I wanted to rec another OG. One of the first Stony fics in the MCU, and still one of the best. It holds up very, very well and is worth a read if, by some miracle, you haven’t already.

Prisoner’s Dilemma by AvocadoLove - MCU/Stony - After taking the airplane down in the Arctic, Steve wakes to find himself imprisoned as a human test subject. With no idea where in the world he is, his only ally is a fast-talking inventor in the cell next door. Something’s off about Tony that Steve can’t put his finger on, and it’s obvious Tony doesn't fully trust him either. But to escape they may not have a choice… Notes: IDENTITY PORN! And it’s by an author I adore. AvocadoLove has pioneered the MCU MattFoggy fandom, and also donated their efforts and words to Stony. It’s the best. And it’s canon divergence! Which is another favourite trope, and one I can’t ever seem to stop writing myself. I have a lot of appreciation for it.

Speaking of MattFoggy, all of theapplepielifestyle’s works for the pairing are amazing. And all of their works in general.

Belief Space by magicasen - Marvel 616/Stony - The Time Gem appears not when it is wanted, but when it is needed. Steve learns this the hard way.//(Or: an Infinity #6 AU where Thane refuses his birthright and the Avengers are doomed - until the Time Gem shows up within Captain America's grasp.) Notes: A 616!Stony fic, if you’re craving something in the comics rather than the movies. Still with Civil War angst and Stony angry tension, just this time it’s even more painful, because their friendship in the comics!verse was beautiful and their fallout even more devastating.

This time tomorrow (where were we?) by dorcas_gustine - Marvel 616/Stony - Tony goes to see Wanda, and suddenly Steve is alive and there are Skrulls! Or maybe Tony is just going crazy. Nothing happens in this fic, until the very end. Seriously. There's a lot of talking, mostly at inopportune moments, Tony's views on the acceptable gifts to give people are slightly different from everyone else's and he spends more time than would seem necessary being (half-)naked. What else is new? Notes: More 616 for your Stony needs! Tony time travels into a word pre-Secret Invasion and decides to fix things his damn self.

despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter (Zimario) - MCU/Stucky - “They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.//Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—//“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”//Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.” Notes: TWS Identity Porn!AU. Gore, given that the Winter Soldier’s mask is literally stuck to his face. But it’s excellent.

Simple by Osidiano - MCU/Stucky - Written for the capkink meme; "To the Winter Soldier, there are basically three kinds of people in the world: superiors, mission support, and targets. He doesn't have the context to understand things like friendship. So what he sees in the Smithsonian exhibit and what little he remembers or feels about his past, he interprets in that light. He thinks that Steve must have been his handler during World War II. That the reason he couldn't kill Steve and the reason he was smiling in the museum photos was because Steve was a good superior who treated him well (or at least didn't hurt him like Pierce and Rumlow, which to him might be the best he can imagine).//Thinking he understands the situation, he decides to report to Steve. Cue misunderstandings, confusion, and heartache for both of them." Notes: Bucky taking a while to snap out of TWS mode is one of my favourite tropes. This fic executes it perfectly.

Bridge Over Troubled Water by soniclipstick (veriscence) - MCU/Stuckony/Phlint - Ultron is destroyed, the Avengers are in disarray, and the Winter Soldier is still in the wind. Steve knows that he has to fix the ever-growing ocean of distrust between Tony and himself, so he takes a leap of faith and tasks Tony with the most important thing: finding Bucky Barnes. But it takes a pair of sexy but stolen hand warmers, several robots, Hawkeye and countless selfies before Steve realises the immensity of what he's set into motion. Notes: I would die for Stuckony as a ship. It’s one of my favourites to read and to write, and this fic here encapsulates it quite frankly in the best way. 

Strange New Worlds by Leletha - Supernatural/Destiel/Sabriel - AU…THE FUTURE: Humanity survives everything, spreads to the stars, and finds it needs to know where it can land. Enter interplanetary explorers Sam and Dean Winchester…and sentient starships Gabriel and Castiel. Then ships and crews start disappearing out in the black and, as usual, all goes straight to hell. Notes: I corresponded with Le’letha when they originally wrote this fic, and my love for it has only grown in the years since. Sci-fi mystery, yes. Dude, Castiel is a sentient spaceship. That itself is premise enough.

In His Image by Anonymous - Supernatural/Sabriel - Kali can breathe life back into a corpse, but what exactly is Gabriel now? Gabriel flits around various centuries trying to work that out, Dean has another powered-down angel and a little brother to look out for, Castiel has forgotten how to trust, and someone keeps sending Sam annoying little notes on his laptop. Oh, and Bobby would like to remind you all that there’s an Apocalypse still going on. Covers season 5 from Gabriel’s death to the finale. Notes: My favourite Sabriel fic. God only knows why the author abandoned it. I have their original name, but it doesn’t feel right to reveal it when they made the conscious choice to anonymise. Let me just say that they were a favourite of mine.

If You Were the Last Woman on Earth by Vali - Doctor Who/Thoschei (Twissy) - Just because your best enemy accidentally destroyed planet Earth is no reason to refuse her hospitality. Written for the Only One Bed fanfic challenge. Notes: That last note doesn’t even begin to cover how wonderful this fic is. Tropes are irrelevant, this captures them perfectly. Still one of my fav ever Thoschei fics. Now just get me one where The Master calls our titular hero Theta Cubed Sigma Ex Squared Lungbarrow, please.

A Wealth of Sorrows by evelynwaaaaah - Dragon Age/Solavellan - Things are getting back to normal in Skyhold now that Corypheus is gone. Until the Inquisitor collapses in mid-conversation.  Notes: Solavellan is still a ship I would die for. This fic will make you ship it, if the game didn’t already. And this is coming from someone who romanced Cullen on my first playthrough.

Reclamation by copperbadge - Harry Potter/Background Jily and Wolfstar - In an alternate universe, one man still struggles with a moral decision made many years before. Notes: What if Tom Marvolo Riddle wasn’t quite the same maniac of the canon!verse and was accepted to the position of DADA professor? By the esteemed copperbadge.

Truth and Illusion by penny_dreadful - Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica/MadoHomu/KyoSaya - “I’ve, um, been dreaming.” She closes her eyes because it’s easier to ignore Mami and Homura’s stares. “In, in my dream I’m still in bed, but I-I’m not alone, Sayaka’s next to me but she’s not breathing, she’s—”//She’s pale and cold and pretty in the same way the stained glass windows of Kyoko’s father’s church are pretty and she’s lying so still she can’t be anything but dead. But in her dream Kyoko still curls around her, soul gem in hand, keeping her warm, keeping her safe—//“—she’s dead, I didn’t even know her that well and she’s dead and in my dream I’m so, I’m scared that there’s nothing I can do.” She opens her eyes. “But there really is nothing I can do. She’s already gone, and we left her there.” She stares hard at her hands. “We weren’t really even friends.” Notes: Not really a fix-it for MadoHomu, but certainly one for SayaKyo. Homura does more spacetime bullshit. Kyouko remembers.

~~~

I think that should cover it for now! That took me ageeeees, and I have games to go waste my life on and fics to write now lmao. Let me know if you want a third installment!

[the-writing-dump-bin]

your writing is so good omg I wish I could write like that XD If it's okay, could I please ask for some nsfw Captain Burns x reader? She works with him and maybe he overheard her saying to her friends that she constantly thinks about him spanking her and she's always resisting the urge to call him daddy? And she's like half his age lol thanks so much!💖

Oh, come now lol. I would say it’s average (^.^) Thank you for your request! This is the first time for me to write for this character and I had to look up more about him (bringing spoilers; luckily I am okay with spoilers lol). I hope this was okay and that you enjoy it!

NSFW 18+ Captain Leonard Burns x FemReader

"If I tell you something...do you promise not to tell anyone?" You said into the phone. Sitting in your room at the station, you called up your best friend. The day had been a little tense. You had been working closely with Captain Burns all day and it was driving you crazy, since you had the most ridiculous crush on the sliver fox.

"Of course." Your friend said. "You can trust anything with me."

Taking a deep breath, you told her about all the dirty thoughts you had and have been having of your captain. "It's getting bad, (friends name). While on patrol with him today, all I kept thinking about was him taking me into an alley way and just fuck me against a wall. Those strong hands slapping against my ass." An aroused groan left your mouth as the thoughts came creeping back in. "Seriously, I probably almost called him 'daddy' a few times before I had to stop myself."

You could hear your friend gasp on the other end. "Your captain?! That's wild, Y/N! I could see where you are coming from though, I've seen him. I would call him 'daddy', too!"

~

Leonard Burns stood frozen at your door, shock running through his body as he overheard you talking to your friend on the phone. Your door wasn't closed all the way and while he was passing by, he heard you speak his name and how you wanted him to take you.

He felt his cheeks heat up while he stood quietly, listening to all the dirty things you wanted him to do to you. Burns was a reserved man, not caring to show emotion as he thought it to be a sign of weakness, but the way you were talking was getting him a little flustered.

If he was honest with himself, maybe he was feeling the tiniest bit of emotion towards you. He had been subconsciously favouring you lately. You had been showing promise within his company and he called upon you to do errands and join him in patrols and dealing with Infernos. You were pretty, of course, but there was no way he would do anything. It would seem against his nature to go after someone like you. Unless...

No... He thought to himself. You were just young, he was much more older than you. But listening to your confession made his mind wander back to you. Is that what you really thought of him? Was this just some kind of school girl crush that you felt towards your superior?

He heard you say goodbye to your friend and hang up your phone. Biting his tongue, he backed up and walked down the hall, away from your room. He needed time to be alone and distract himself from what he just listened to.

~

Later that night, you were in the kitchen of the compound making dinner for yourself. Happily humming in the empty room, you didn't hear your captain enter, almost crashing into him when you turned around and spilled a bit of ingredients on the floor. "Oh! I'm sorry, sir, I didn't see you there." Setting down the tray, you grabbed a dish towel and went to clean up your mess. "I thought you had left with the others; thinking I was the only one left here."

Before hearing the words that came out of your mouth earlier, he wouldn't have batted an eye at you calling him "sir". But now, hearing that made his blood rush and his nerves tingle. How dare you make him feel like this. "I decided to stay." He said, bending down to your level, grabbing the dish towel and looking you deep in the eyes. "Let me get that for you."

You blushed and handed him the towel, slowly standing up again. "Th-Thank you, sir."

Stop calling me that. Every thing you did was pulling him more into a dark place in his mind. He sat in his office the rest of the afternoon thinking about you. To be honest, it had been a while since he was actually together with someone. At his age, he wasn't really looking for any kind of companionship, but maybe he could have something more...on the side. Someone to go to when he was feeling like this without the commitment of developing feelings for them.

Burns toyed with the situation, thinking about what he should do. Maybe he was reading too much into it. On one hand, you could just have been gushing with your friend about a foolish crush and you actually didn't want to do those things with him. On the other, if he moved in to find out, you would both get what you want. He decided to take a chance and try and get a confirmation out of you. "Do you want some help preparing dinner? Since it's just us, we could eat together."

It felt like your heart was in your throat. Burns? Dinner? With me?! "Erm... S-Sure... But I'm not that great a cook, I was just going to make something simple."

He smiled, showing a bit of his white teeth. "I'm sure whatever you make will be just fine." He turned to move to the sink to wash his hands, but not without ghosting his hand across your lower back.

You froze. What was that just now? A smile and a touch. This was completely something different from Captain Burns' usual scowl and distance. It was nice, seeing him like this, but it also brought back the dirty thoughts you've been having about him. Nervously, you smile back, tucking your hair behind your ear before returning to cook. A heated sensation started to form between your legs as you thought about him and how he could make you feel. Taking a deep breath, you let out a long exhale as you tried to calm your urges.

Burns noticed. He watched you from the corner of his left eye try and steel yourself while being so close to him. Moving slightly behind you, Burns placed his hands on your hips gently and pushed you a side with ease. When he saw your reddened face, he smirked again and simply said "You're in the way of the drawer I need. Why don't you set the table?"

"O-Okay..." Seriously, what was going on? Burns never gave you this much attention, but who are you to complain? You yearned for more of it...then...

Like a flash, you where bent over the table, wrists pinned to the table's surface by two large hands gripping tightly. "S-Sir?!"

"Don't call me 'sir'." Burns growled from behind. Bending down over you, he whispered in your ear. "I heard you earlier, when you were in your room talking. I heard what you wanted me to do to you." A hand released your wrist and traveled down your side, stopping on your rear and caressed a cheek with his whole palm. "I heard you say how much you wanted me to spank you. You're a naughty girl, wanting something so rough from me. I am your superior. You shouldn't be thinking about me like this."

Your heart pounded in your chest. Being bent like this, you could feel Burns press against your ass, something hard forming between his legs. You couldn't believe he heard you tell your friend about your desires, being extremely embarrassed. He was right, you shouldn't be thinking of him this way, but with the position that you're in, you couldn't help but think about it. With a daring move, you moved your hips, grinding into his growing erection, making a pleasured groan emit from his mouth. "If I can't call you 'sir', then what do I call you? Captain?"

Moving your hair behind your ear, he whispered again, only this time with obvious intentions. "You can call me, Daddy." A moan escaped as electricity was sent through your body, your pants and underwear pulled down hastily over your ass and down to the floor. A hard slap across your skin made you yelp in surprise at how forceful it was. He kept going, creating a redness. "This is what you wanted, wasn't it? To be spanked like this?"

Oh, it was. You had imagined his slaps would be rough, feeling it in real life was something next level. Peering over your shoulder, you gave him an euphoric look, mouth hanging open with pleasure. "I've been a bad girl, daddy." You huff. "I need to be punished."

"You'll be punished, alright. Punished for thinking of me they way you have been. Punished for making me feel this way." Burns spun you around, laying you on your back on the table with your hips at the edge. Unzipping his pants, he sprung free and went to work immediately, thrusting in and out of you feverishly. "Look what you're making me do, Y/N!"

High pitched moans and whimpers could be heard from you as your captain pounded into you. When it was just you alone, you would think of the toys you would use on yourself as him. But the toy was nothing like what your were experiencing right now. "Mmmm...! Oh, daddy, you feel so good. Fuck me harder...deeper..."

Burns huffed. Back in his prime, he could go a while without losing his breath, having aged and neglecting his primal needs for a while, it was hard to keep up. But damn, were you ever making him feel young again. Maybe he couldn't go harder, but he certainly could go deeper, hitting you in the right spot to pull your orgasm to it's top.

You shouted through it, walls tight and pulsing around him as he kept going to bring his own release. Just before spilling into you, he pulled out and aimed at your stomach, pumping himself and exploding his seed all over your skin.

Spent, Burns backed up and grabbed a towel, wiping himself clean before tossing it to you to do the same. He watched you slide off the table, legs shaking as you tried to regain your composure. Pulling up your pants, you glanced at your captain. Your dreams basically came true with what you two just did, but you weren't sure what he was thinking; an unreadable expression on his face. "Th-That was..."

"Fun." Burns finished, looking at you with a tiny hint of lust. "I trust I don't need to tell you to keep this quiet, hm? If you want more of this, then you can't breathe a word about this..." He walked up to you and held your chin, looking you sternly in the eyes. "Not even to your friends."

There was going to be more? You couldn't help but smile. "Of course." You nodded. "I wouldn't want to upset my Daddy."

[fantastic-bby]

A Really Stupid Fight

Pairing: Jackson x reader

Word count: 2.2k

Genre: idk not smut

Summary: You and Jackson get into a reeeeeeeeaaaaally stupid fight. Don’t ask how I came up with it, just laugh if you think it’s funny.

A/n: So, this is the second time I’m writing this because my chrome crashed and deleted the whole thing while I was writing and I feel like eating my hair.

The warmth of the rays of sun that were shining into the room was what woke you. You let yourself stretch, your arms reaching for your boyfriend’s presence but was quickly disappointed when there was no one there. You groggily sat up to see his side of the bed empty and at first you thought that he had to go to the studio but the smell of coffee and bacon wafted into your bedroom from the open door. You rubbed your eyes and slipped on your bunny slippers before shuffling yourself out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. 

In the kitchen was Jackson standing over the stove, spatula in hand as the bacon sizzled in the pan. He turned over to you when he heard your slippers shuffle against the cold tiles, smiling at the sight of you, one of his t shirts loosely hanging over your body. 

“Morning.” You mumbled as you got closer to him to wrap your arms around his waist, squishing your cheek against his bare back. 

“It’s 2 in the afternoon, baby.” He chuckled, morning voice deep. He turned his attention to you, turning around and wrapping his arms around you to return your hug. 

“I’ve missed you,” You let out a content sigh, “I’ve missed this.” You smile as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I’ve missed you too, (Y/n).” He pressed another kiss to the corner of your lips, filling you up with love with such a simple gesture. This was the first time in a very long time that you both had the same day off. Both your schedules were extremely busy and it was rare that you got to wake up with him still at home or got to spend more than just dinners or lunches together. That fact made you both relish in each other’s company like it was never going to happen again. 

The smell of something burning filled your nose, 

“Uhhh, Jackson?” You looked up at him with an eyebrow raised. His eyes widened and he turned around to see the pan smoking. He let out a long “Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh” as he turned off the heat and moved the pan onto a cloth on the counter. He scratched the back of his head and turned to you, asking you for help, “I thought you knew how to cook.” You teased him. 

“Yea, but I got distracted.” He chuckled as he pressed another kiss to your forehead. “How bout you help me cook then we eat in the couch and watch whatever you want. How’s that sound?” He suggested as he tried prying off the bacon from the pan. You nodded as you gently took the pan from his hands, 

“Sounds lovely.” You kissed his cheek before scraping the rest of the burnt bits into the trash can. 

“What do you wanna watch?” He asked, leaning against the counter. You placed the pan on the counter and crossed your arms in thought, 

“Hmmmmmmm,” You hummed, “How bout we watch a drama.” You suggested. 

“A drama?” He cocked his eyebrow, “I assume you mean a K-Drama.” He chuckled as you nodded, breaking a cheeky grin. “Don’t you have enough Korean men in your life?” He gestured to himself, flexing his muscles. 

“Uhhh, Jackson, you’re not Korean.” You pointed out, stifling a giggle. 

“Wha-” He stopped himself as he remembered that he was in fact not Korean. “Oh, right.” A blush formed on his cheeks as he looked down, “Oh my goD I FORGOT I’M FROM HONG KONG!” He screamed into his hands. You couldn’t help but laugh at how extra he was being, looking like a child who accidentally called his teacher ‘mom’. 

“Baby, calm down.” You put your hand on his cheek, loving how cute he looked with a blush on his cheeks, the red spreading all the way to his ears. “You’re so cute when you’re blushing.” You giggled. He pulled you into a hug, 

“Never speak of this again. The guys would never let it go if they knew.” He muttered.

~

You opened your eyes and tried to scan the living room area. You looked at the drama that was playing on the TV, then tilted your head up to look at Jackson who was fast asleep. His chest was rising and falling as light snores escaped his lips. You smiled to yourself, thinking this was the perfect time to snap a photo of him. Being careful not to wake him, you gentle moved his arm off of your waist and got yourself up off the couch, only then noticing your cat sleeping on the carpet. You took gentle steps, trying hard not to wake both of them up as you made your way to the opposite side of the coffee table where you left your phone.

You noticed there was only one phone sitting on the glass table; Jackson’s phone. You furrowed your brows. You were sure you left it on the coffee table when you both started watching the drama. You looked at the clock perched on the wall, realising it was already 8 p.m. You started searching throughout the apartment thinking that maybe you left it somewhere else without noticing. But without any sign of your phone you headed back into the living and stood there with your hands on your hips.

“You look troubled.” You heard Jackson mutter. You turned around to see him snuggled up under a blanket as he looked at you with his eyes barely open. 

“Did I wake you?” You asked, sitting back down on the couch. 

“Hmmm, a little bit.” He yawned, wrapping his arm around you once again to pull you closer to him. He covered you with the blanket and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. 

“Sorry, I just couldn’t find my phone,” You explained, “I tried looking all over the apartment but I swear I left it on the coffee table.” He hummed for a moment before sitting up and reaching for his own phone, 

“Want me to try calling?” He asked as he held up his phone. You nodded, your lips curling into a soft smile. He dialed your number and you both waited for the sound of your ringtone. But when his phone went to voicemail with no sound or vibration giving away the location of your phone you started to panic more. “Hey, hey, hey,” With one hand, he held onto yours and with the other he placed it gently on your back to calm you down, “We’ll find it okay? I’ll help you.” He brought your hand to his face and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles before lifting the blanket off of both of you and stood up. 

~

It was midnight and you still couldn’t find your phone. You were in full blown freak out mode and Jackson was starting to get tired. 

“Baby, can we try again tomorrow morning?” He asked. But you were too determined to find your phone, running in and out of rooms that you’ve already checked. The whole apartment was a mess; cushions on the floor, bedsheets crumpled on the dresser, kitchen cabinets were open but you just couldn’t find your phone. 

“I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t find it now.” You shook your head as you continued you look under cushions. 

“Baby,” He tried reaching out to stop you but you moved away from him to continue looking. “(Y/n), you’re overreacting.” He was starting to get annoyed, you could tell. But it wasn’t stopping you. He continued to watch you frantically searching. “(Y/n), c’mon. We should really look in the morning. You’re tired, I’m tired, even Kit’s tired.” He gestured to the cat who was still in the same spot, sleeping soundly. 

“I won’t be able to sleep. What if someone calls me and it’s important? What if something happens and my parents need to call me? What it-” He quickly cut you off with a gentle hold on your wrist and a peck on your lips, 

“Please?” He pouted but you shook your head once again and pulled yourself out of his grip. He groaned and sat on the couch. You knew he was annoyed because he had an interview early in the morning and needed sleep. But you were so invested in looking for your phone you just didn’t care anymore. “(Y/n), come on!” He called as you walked into the bathroom yet again. “You’re overreacting! Seriously!” He stood up and followed you around but you ignored him. “I can always just buy you a new one, you know. You have everything backed up on the cloud anyway!” You continued to ignore him. “(Y/n), stop being so god damn stubborn!” 

“Jackson! Just go to sleep without me!” You finally turned around to yell back, “I want to find my phone now, you can always sleep first!” 

“I would still be asleep if you weren’t looking for it.” He huffed angrily.

“Gee, I’m so sorry I woke you.” You rolled your eyes, turning to walk away.

“God, you’re fucking stubborn.” He grabbed your wrist so that you were facing him. “That’s your problem, (Y/n). You don’t listen to me. You want to do everything your way!” He yelled at you, his grip around your wrist tightening. You yank your hand out of his grip and head into the living room without saying anything. “Just stop and listen to me!” He continued to yell, “Stop being such a hard ass, (Y/n)! It’s a fucking phone! It’s not like it’s a million dollars or something! We’ve been looking for fucking hours!”

“If it’s such a big hassle then just go to sleep without me!” You yell back, turning to face him. “If it’s such a big burden then just let me do it myself! It’s not a big deal to you but it is to me!” You didn’t seem to understand why he was so angry, “Why are you so upset anyway?” You asked, trying to control your anger. 

“Because I care about you! You’re just making yourself more and more stressed and you do this all the time! Whenever I try and help you you end up pushing me away and it’s annoying that you won’t just let me help you!” 

“It you wanted to help, you’d either continue helping me look for my phone or you could just go to sleep.” You muttered, turning around. You heard his heavy footsteps storm towards you as he grabbed your wrist suddenly, 

“(Y/n), stop it and get some sleep!” He yanked you towards him, his grip around your wrist tight. 

“Jackson, let go.” You try pulling your hand out of his grip but his grip only tightens, 

“No, I’m getting tired of you just ignoring me when I’m trying to help you.” He was fuming at this point, the grip on your wrist just getting tighter that it was starting to hurt.

“Jackson, let. Go.” You say through gritted teeth but he doesn’t. 

“See? You’re doing it again. You just ignore everything I try and do for you!” He yelled, his fist so tight on your wrist you feel it might fall off. “STOP OVERREACTING!” He screamed at you, subconsciously yanking your wrist so hard that you’re sure it’ll bruise.

“JACKSON LET ME GO!” You scream as you feel tears forming in your eyes. You shove him with your free hand and rip your hand out of his grip. You looked at your wrist and you were right, it was aching and was already turning red. He glared at you, but his gaze softened when he saw tears coming out of your eyes as you rubbed your wrist.

“Shit.” You hear him mutter and see him move through your blurry vision. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” He gently pulled you into an embrace, “I’m so sorry, (Y/n). I-I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean anything I said.” Apologies were spilling out of his mouth like a broken faucet as he held you close to him, he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “(Y/n), look at me, baby.” He cupped your face with his hands, making you turn your attention to his beautiful brown eyes. They were glossed over and full of guilt, “I’m so fucking sorry.” He took your wrist and gently pressed a kiss to the bruising area. 

“I know.” You nodded, your face still covered in tear stains. He gently wiped them away with his thumbs and he pressed a kiss to your lips. “Let’s go to bed.” You whispered, officially exhausted and he nodded, putting a hand on the small of your back as you walked towards the bedroom. Kit awoke when you both started screaming at each other and when he noticed you were heading into the bedroom, he let out a ‘meow’ and stood to stretch, ready to follow you into the bedroom.

Both of you turned to see the grey tabby stretch before making his way over to rub himself against your legs. But you both turned to each other, sharing the same dumbfounded look. In the spot he had been sleeping at, was your phone. The entire time, your cat was sleeping on your fucking phone.

[lovingkaneko]

Ch.3: Addicted To You (Colt x MC)

Summary: Colt realizes that Ellie Wheeler has more to her than he thought.

Author Note: Wow, another chapter huh? I’m on a roll here, I hope you guys are keeping up with the story and enjoying it <3 Part two, Next part

Book: Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance | Choices: Stories You Play (AU)

Pairing: Colt Kaneko x MC | Ellie Wheeler

Word Count: ~1.8k

Rating: Mature (swearing, descriptions of sex)

She left soon after, telling me that she’ll come back when there’s a wider selection of cars. The one night stand had turned into two. I really didn’t expect myself to feel even slightly attached to her. But she did what she usually did and teased me to the very max, promising to return. From the second she drove off, I found myself already eager to see her again. The look on Logan’s face was extraordinary, for a week after our encounter, he was silent. He had not said a single word to me.

“Colt,” I heard someone call me as I was wiping down my bike with a rag. I turned to make eye contact with my dad.

“What?”

“I need you to come to my office,” He said seriously, motioning me to follow him. I tossed the rag onto the seat and trailed behind him. He sat down and I simply leaned against the wall with my arms crossed.

“It’s come to my attention that you’ve involved yourself with Ellie Wheeler in an unprofessional way,” My dad informed me, making my heart skip a beat.

“Pop--”

“I don’t want to hear it,” He sighed, “It’s not a big deal. Wheeler, himself, has feared that his daughter was throwing herself at his clients. You can stop this now and there’ll be no problem.”

I wish I could explain the fury that I felt in that moment, hearing someone refer to her as a whore... It made him shake with anger. 

“She’s not a slut, pops,” I scoffed.

“That wasn’t what I was saying, son. I’m just saying, it’s not the best idea to--”

“Well I don’t care, I’ll see whoever I want to,” I talked back, my voice raising.

“I understand what it’s like to meet a girl you... Find interest in. But, I’m afraid you’re getting too close to comfort. I won’t let you ruin yourself,” He explained calmly.

“Ruin myself?” My jaw clenched.

“I won’t have you fall in love with her!” My dad finally slammed his hands on the table with anger, “Do you know what love does to you?”

“I’m not--”

“Once is fine, temptation is a crazy thing. But to keep seeing her? You’re playing a risky game,” He said as he slowly composed himself.

I knew he was right and maybe that’s what pissed me off the most. I knew that hooking up with her constantly would drive me insane. Even though I had only seen her twice in the span of two months, she took over all of my thoughts. My journal was filled with pictures of her, at first, they were sexual. I would draw her body and the marks on her neck. But now, I found myself drawing her lips. I would draw her smile over and over, along with doodles of her pretty hands. My pops was on the right track, it would be best to get some space away from her. But, I didn’t want to.

“Why should I care about what you have to say? I’ll ruin myself if I feel like it, you haven’t been there for me before, why do you care now?” I spoke harshly before leaving his office and slamming the door.

At this point, I didn’t know if I would ever see her again. My pops would definitely not let me do anymore business when she’s involved. I had a chance to prove myself worthy to him and I fucked it up. Honestly, though, I didn’t care. I had worked too hard to prove myself, but now I didn’t want his goddamn approval. 

Toby was standing outside with his eyes wide open, I blinked slowly a few times to stop myself from knocking him out.

“You were listening?” I asked him with my eyes closed, trying to diffuse my anger.

“I-- Colt, are you alright?” 

“For fucks sake, I’m fine!” I yelled, feeling irritated by his question.

“I know who told him,” Toby said in a whisper.

“I can just guess who it was,” I snarled before making my way to the garage, knowing where to find that son of a bitch.

His eyes widened when he saw me stomping over to him, I punched him as hard as I could and he stumbled backward.

“You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut, could you?”

“It’s my job to inform my boss on anything threatening to the crew,” Logan said as he wiped blood from his mouth.

“And how is my business threatening to the crew?”

“Do you know what would happen if you fuck things up with her?” 

“I don’t need to know shit from you,” I retorted, fully aware of my actions, “You’re a nobody. I’ll be glad the day my pops finally gets rid of you.”

I climbed on my motorcycle, driving off without another word. The wind blew in my face and I squinted, regretting not wearing my helmet. I had one place in this world that calmed me down more than any other. After a few minutes of swerving through slow cars and having air burn my eyes, I finally made it to the spot. I parked my bike off to the side and exhaled slowly. 

I calmed down as I watched the waves crash, this cliff place being my safe place. I needed to collect my thoughts after everything that happened. My dad truly believed that I was falling in love, as if that would ever even-- It was just impossible. I just felt sexually attracted to this girl, our relationship would only consist of us casually fucking from time to time. I never even considered actually settling down with her.

Yet, the thought brought a stupid warmth to my chest. I hated to think of her as just a fuck toy, because that’s not what she is to me. She’s more. The loud ocean below me was relaxing me, bringing tranquility to my normally hostile being. There was a noise that distracted me, I was back and alert quickly. I looked around to make sure there was no one there. I could’ve sworn I heard an engine pass by, after a few moments, I decided that I was alone again.

“I definitely didn’t expect this to be the kind of place for you, Kaneko,” said a voice I recognized instantly, my mood lifting within seconds.

“Ellie?” I accidentally smiled at her appearance, she didn’t seem to be doing the best. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were red, as if she had been crying.

“You look terrible,” I said and she chuckled.

“Thanks for pointing it out, mind if I join you for a bit?” 

I felt a pinch in my heart and I nodded slowly, she sat at the very edge of the cliff with her feet dangling above the ocean, I took a seat beside her.

“I’m not supposed to be seeing you anymore,” She scoffed after a while and I turned to look at her, “My dad found out I’ve been hooking up with you. You’re safe, but I have to stay away from you.”

The words that came out of her mouth made me feel as if a dark cloud rained above me. She bit her bottom lip in concentration.

“But I can’t,” She whispered.

“You can’t what?” I asked sadly and watched as she breathed softly.

“I can’t stay away from you, Colt,” She finally said as if she had been holding it in, “I’m addicted to you.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but I was speechless.

“Stupid, I’m so stupid,” She placed her face in her hands in frustration. 

“Ellie--” I began to speak but cut me off.

“Don’t, please...” She exhaled shakily and began to get up to leave. Normally, I would’ve let her go, this was her problem and whatever she felt for me was completely childish and immature. But I understood her, because frankly, I was addicted to her too.

I managed to pull her back to me, pressing my lips to hers, taking her breath away. She placed her hands on my cheeks, deepening the kiss. After a few seconds, she pulled herself apart from me. 

“You don’t understand, Colt... The things my dad would do if this goes wrong--”

“I don’t care,” I said as my mind screamed insults at me, “Live in the moment, Ellie. It’s all we can do now.”

She looked angry, not at me, but at herself. She exhaled and nodded, “Fuck everyone else. I want you,” She whispered before kissing me again.

An hour passed and we simply enjoyed each other’s company, her head resting on my shoulder as we watched the sunset. This wasn’t sexual anymore, this was stupid. This was definitely not what I had planned.

“My dad doesn’t trust me,” She told me, breaking the silence, “He thinks that I’m not fit to run the crew. I had to prove myself to him, he wouldn't believe me otherwise. I’ve had to do stupid shit to make that man see me for what I am.”

“He thinks he needs to protect me, save me from this life. But I don’t need his protection, I know how to defend myself,” She spoke to me, but it seemed she was talking more to herself, “I’ve been his sweet little girl for too long. It’s hard, Colt,” She looked at me and her eyes watered, “I’m top of my class, I’m set to be valedictorian but that’s not enough for him to trust me.”

“Wait a second,” I raised my eyebrows in shock, “You’re still in school?”

She chuckled softly, “Yeah, crimes are just my side job.”

“Wow,” I whispered.

“Look, I know you probably don’t think of me as more than a girl you’ve fucked--”

“What?” I asked before she could finish her sentence, “Of course not.”

“I doubt you mean that,” She scoffed, looking off into the distance.

“Ellie, listen to me,” I placed my hand on hers, “I don’t care about people as much as I should. But I can’t help but feel something for you,” I confessed in a low voice, embarrassed.

“Holy shit,” She breathed, “Kaneko feels emotions?”

“Trust me, you’re just as shocked as I am.”

“It's best for us to not see each other, I know how stupid it is for us to be together,” She said, her voice trailing sadly.

“It is extremely stupid,” I acknowledged playfully, looking into the ocean below us.

“You may never believe it, but my dad’s a Christian, he thinks me having sex with you is against the laws of God,” She laughed softly.

“What can I say? We’re sinners,” I answered as I brought my lips to her neck and placed a gentle kiss to it.

“If being with you is a sin, then I’ll happily accept hell.”

Once again, she connected her mouth with mine again and that was all. Our clothes stayed on, yet, we were completely exposed to each other. We were stupid and vulnerable, but you would never catch me complaining. We parted ways after a few more hours of talking, there was so much more to Ellie Wheeler than I thought. 

[barbika1508]

Tempt me (Min Yoonji x Reader/ Smut)

Word count: 8,4K

Genre: Porn with some plot, Smut (Filth)

Pairing: Demon! Min Yoonji x Fem! Reader

Warning: Possessive behavior, Yandere, Manipulation, Delusion, Cursing, Use of toys, Edging

Authors Notes: Inspired by my dear friends one shot, which was to short in my opinion so i just added a little something to it :3

( Part 1 ) -Also follow @chikinika, her fics are A+ material

“Let me go, Yoonji,” the only indication that Yoonji had heard was the unbelievably caring rubbing of her arm, her other free hand tilting her head for more access - an action she was helpless to stop. “Let me go.”

Kitten like licks flickered against her skin, cool air blowing on them moments later, shivers wracking down her spine. “You’re staying with me,” Yoonji spoke, moving back up so that she was at eye level, ashen eyes burning with darkness and barely concealed hunger, “you’re staying with me in hell.”

“Please…” She was silenced, a searing kiss pressed to her lips with enough force to leave her panting; breathless.

“You’re mine.”

Yoonji’s POV

I can barely contain the excitement bubbling in the pit of my stomach, which is only growing with each step that I take the boots I have on making a slight echo in the deserted hallway I’m walking through, straight ahead towards the door which I know is locked secured, as I’m holding the key in my right hand. I won’t even start mentioning the numerous spells cast to seal it, just in case you can never be too careful with things you care about. A full shudder runs down my body making me shake my head to try and clear my thoughts, as the following intentions are blissfully sinful with what I have in store for the girl I love with my all soul…or what’s left of it.

Hopefully she’s in a better mood than she was yesterday, her tongue has gotten softer after a whole month of being shut away from anything and anyone, her insults losing fire as well as her many glares, which turn soft whenever I come to visit her. I can’t help but to grin wider just imagining her, eagerly waiting for me to come back to her, to let her lean her gentle cheek against the palm of my hand. Reaching the doors, I glance to the side of the stony walls at the shadows shimmering under the torches lit. They are getting impatient as much as I am, hands barely able to stay still from how excited I am. The chuckle that leaves from between my lips doesn’t surprise me, because I’m practically behaving like a teenager again. Oh, what does she do to me.

Holding the golden key between my fingers I glance at the engraved letter on it, tracing it briefly before sliding it into the lock, my other manicured hand reaching for the door handle. I remember what style she preferred on me the most when we still attended college together, when I was under the pretence of being human. We were at her apartment one day, when she decided to dress me up to which I ended up wearing her clothes for the whole day, and let her touch me as much as she wanted while applying makeup, and readjusting the clothing.

And that is exactly why I’m dressed in a similar outfit right now, wearing black leather boots, black knee highs, black jeans shorts, a simple black (as if there wasn’t enough black colour on me already) long-sleeved shirt that doesn’t hide my figure much, paired with the same leather jacket she complimented the first time we’ve meet. But unlike the lack of effort the first time, now I’ve made effort so my hair is properly straightened, as well as makeup all the lines clean and clear, the colours perfectly blende, lipstick especially flawlessly coloured into a cheery red shade.

Unlocking the doors, I listen to how her breath hitches quietly the chain rustling against the stony ground as she moves. I peek in, again not being able to contain my emotions as I smile wider upon seeing my better half. She sits up from her lying position near the wall across the room, chains adoring her ankles and wrists. But she brought that upon herself, for trying to run away from me at the very beginning and for trying to betray me for that foolish weak mortal. I had no choice but to chain her up, and lock her away I can’t let anyone else even see the most precious person in my life.

She is mine and mine alone, and I will do anything to keep her safe and at my side at all times.

‘’Baby girl.’’ I find myself saying in delight as she looks up at me with this puppy look, eyes glassy a bit as she sits on her knees, hands resting over her thighs ‘’How is my princess feeling today?’’ slipping inside the door clicks shut gently, leaving us at peace the faint screams from outside blocked, as this room is soundproof.

‘’I missed you.’’ Her honey like voice sooths me, her words sparking another flame inside me as I approach her, trying to hold myself back.

‘’Baby I missed you to.’’ I reply honestly kneeling down right in front of her, watching as she’s quick to lean forward eyes darting down to my hand. I easily comply with the unsaid message lifting my hand up to cup her face, and let my thumb trace over her cheek ‘’Sorry I couldn’t come sooner.’’

‘’That’s okay.’’ She replies sighing her eyes not moving away from my own ‘’You’re here now.’’ Not being able to suppress my urges I lean in slowly, pleased that she doesn’t flinch away as I press a peck to her lips noticing how she puckers her own. Licking over my lower lip her eyes don’t miss it, which prompts me to properly take a hold of her face gently, to keep her still as I want to, to properly kiss her. She lets me take control, and to guide the pace but it’s not long after, that I feel her tongue dart out over my lower lip briefly and albeit a bit unsure but I felt it. It has me breaking apart the whine that she lets out, exciting me as her body is trying to get closer hands hovering over my knees hesitant with touching me.

‘’Does my princess want more kisses?’’ I ask teasingly moving my head back as she’s quick to lean in, but the chains are holding her back. I can feel her cheeks get warmer under my palms. She is so adorable, despite the grey and grimy, dark surroundings. She nods eagerly eyes darting from my eyes to my lips and back again, expression turning into a pleading one ‘’So eager.’’ I coo with affection my right hand lowering down over her unmarked neck, as I take in her raged attire ‘’I think you’ve been punished enough.’’ I trail off acting for her sake as if I’m thinking about it. Her body tenses visibly, and while she processes my words, I quickly scan over her to see if she has injured herself in any way ‘’It’s time for me to give you a proper reward isn’t it?’’ she stares at me hopeful, looking like a puppy in this moment, excitement shinning in her eyes.

‘’R-really?’’ she asks hesitant, while I lean in to press a soft kiss onto her forehead.

‘’You’ve been good, haven’t you?’’ I ask watching as she nods her head excitedly in agreement ‘’Then hold on.’’ I reply the torches around the room diming making her flinch but also making her jump forward, the chains ratting as she tries to get as close to me as possible her delicate hands grabbing for my leather jacket, while she crowds between my knees quickly glancing around frantically her heart beat picking up ‘’Shhh it’s okay, princess. Everything is going to be okay.’’ I try to reassure her, her eyes finding my own finally while the shadows close in around the room expanding from the ground and the walls crawling and wrapping themselves around us both. It’s only the tip of what I can do, but I take my time now and special care for them to caress her with the utmost gentleness as they wrap around us into this sort of bubble, moving us unknowingly to her to another place.

So, I lean in to distract her, grabbing her chin firmly and kiss her with more passion and urgency easily slipping my tongue alongside hers, the action having her almost instantly moaning, hands still holding onto my jacket tightly but the eagerness only growing. It’s when she tries to take control, that the shadows stop squirming, letting the light flood around us the kiss breaking as she pulls back to look around, in surprise as the pull of the chains disappears. With a squeak she topples over, crashing into me. We don’t topple over as I have a steady stance, but it has her trying to squirm away at first.

‘’Cute.’’ I reply as she gets onto her knees properly, glancing at her wrists and ankles finding them free, before she turns to me ‘’So precious.’’ I murmur admiring her. There’s no grime left on her beautiful skin, her hair isn’t wet or uncombed anymore, but has volume again. The lack of clothing though has my eyebrows quirking up along with a smirk, as I take in the flimsy material, of the white lacey bra and panties she has on, and the transparent baby doll dress she has on.

‘’A-are you l-letting me go?’’ she asks hesitant her thoughts not on the same track as my own, which sparks a bit of disappointment in me but that’s easily fixable.

‘’Letting you go? Don’t you want to be with me baby?’’ I try testing the waters, my hands which are resting over her hips, tighten as I dig my fingers into her meaty hips in a silent warning. Her eyes twitch but she shakes her head quickly, leaning in to press a kiss to the side of my mouth as I look at her seriously.

‘’No, I would never, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please forgive me.’’ she rushes apologizing, pressing kisses to my face, my jaw, then lower down to my neck. The pink lipstick she has on, remains intact when I pull her back still giving her a serious look ‘’I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry Unnie.’’ She continues on to apologize. I simply glare at her, watching as fear appears. Leaning in closer I slide my hands from her hips to her peachy ass, eagerly squeezing it waiting for her to push me way. Which I know she won’t.

‘’Then what did you mean, Y/N-ah?’’ using her name, it has her suddenly trembling in my hold lower lip trembling.

‘’I meant…I-I-I…I would never leave you Unnie please, b-believe m-me, I just thought…’’ she squeaks as I pull my hand back and smack her ass with force, the sound resonating in my ears deliciously.

‘’You thought what?’’ I dare her on, slapping her ass again, enjoying how the flesh jiggles in the best way possible as I take a hold of it again.

‘’I would never leave you.’’ Comes her whisper ‘’I love you so much.’’

Those words always warm my heart, melting every conflict that I have against her. I should be more stern, but she just makes me melt so easily ‘’And I love you.’’ I reply pressing a peck onto her lips before straightening up, letting go of her ass regretfully so despite her own hands that are tightly holding onto my jacket still ‘’C’mon, I promised you a reward.’’ I encourage helping her stand up not minding her looking around the room which happens to be my bedroom. Its only purpose is one thing actually, and that doesn’t include sleep.

Glancing towards the bed, it has immediate reaction from her ‘’N-no Unnie, please no more…’’ she starts after noticing the chains sticking from the headboard of the bed, but these are brand new and padded, so they won’t damager her skin to much ‘’I-I’ve been g-g-good you said it yourself.’’ She tries to step away, but I have a firm hold onto her wrist so she doesn’t get far as I tug her towards the head of the bed.

‘’It’s going to be alright princess, I won’t hurt you.’’ I try reassuring her, opening my arms into which she eagerly steps to hug me, her body still slightly trembling. I don’t want her to be this shaken up, but she will get used to it eventually ‘’I’m going to make you feel so good, baby.’’ I promise urging her onto the bed, but she won’t let go off me ‘’Baby.’’ I state sternly ‘’Do as I say.’’ She shakes her head against my shoulder, her hair tickling my nose briefly. Inhaling I can smell the same shampoo she used in the human world, which brings up memories ‘’I really don’t want to punish you again, Y/N-ah but if you will keep being this stubborn, I will have to.’’

I wait for a moment, trying not to get too impatient but she’s burning it quickly. First, she didn’t want me to touch her at all, and now I can’t detach her from me for a simple thing. Admittedly I love it, this clinginess but the way she is dressed and looks, and how her breasts are pressed against me aren’t helping my growing arousal.

‘’U-Unnie…’’ she tries again, which urges the shadows to move, crawling up from behind and take her hands from my own ‘’N-no please, Yoonjiii…’’ she shouts in terror I don’t miss that, but I take a step back watching as she’s being laid down, legs forcefully being spread the cuffs and chains rattling as they are getting secured around her limbs.

‘’If you’re not going to cooperate, it will end up worse for you, princess. I promised to make you feel good, don’t turn me into a liar.’’

‘’You said my punishment was over, I don’t like to be tied up, please Unnie I’ve been good, please…’’ her eyes are glossing over with tears that are quick to fall from the corners of her eyes as she shakes her head, trying to fight away the shadows that start to retreat, which leaves her wrist adorned in cheesily enough a silver chain that’s padded on the inside with pink fluffiness, the same cuffs that hold her ankles down.

‘’Shhhhh…’’ I shush her gently, toeing off the boots, crawling up predatory in a way, onto the bed ‘’I am sticking to my words, baby girl, I will make you feel so good that the only thing you will know will be my name, and nothing else.’’ I promise throwing one leg over to straddle her, her stomach slightly jumping. I stay straightened up shrugging of the leather jacket, letting it fall over the edge, and only after its off I plant both hands near her head, taking in the wet path that’s left from her tears over her cheeks. Her eyes are practically sparkling in this light ‘’How much do you love me?’’ I ask slowly, lowering down onto my elbows, face inches away from hers, as I trace the path of her tears slowly wiping the wetness away, while she remains staring at me intently. I raise an eyebrow once I look into her eyes. I can clearly see defiance, but that is just her burning love for me, the anger in her irises is frustration of me not touching her, the tightening of her lips is not fear its anticipation and excitement, and the way her limbs tremble means she wants to press herself even closer to me. She would never leave. She wouldn’t dare.

‘’I love you so so much…’’ more tears spill ‘’…I can’t live without you. You are my everything.’’ Her words are slightly strained, but that’s only because she feels overwhelmed, as much as I feel like my heart is ready to burst from her words alone. My expression softens as I try and engrave her words into my mind leaning down to try and portray my own love through the kiss. It starts off slow, I can taste the strawberry from her lipstick, and the taste that is only her, I can’t describe it exactly, but it has me moaning into the kiss, the way her tongue is the first one to slide against my own, her attempt to try and dominate the kiss is cute, she is cute.

So, I let her have her fun, until I get impatient and shift putting one leg between hers forcing them properly open, and move my thigh so it brushes against her clothed core. It’s what breaks the kiss the gasp she lets out while I lean my forehead against hers ‘’Plant your feet against the bed.’’ I instruct glancing down between our bodies, as she does what I say ‘’Good girl.’’ I whisper kissing the side of her cheek ‘’Now rub yourself against me.’’ I whisper into her ear, letting my tongue dart out to lick against her earlobe which evokes a shuddering breath, and her hips to buckle ‘’Easy there.’’ I chuckle with one arm steadying her hip, as I put weight onto my right leg, and lean forward and closer as she starts to move her hips. Tries to ‘’That’s it.’’ I encourage her as she puts in more effort despite the awkward angle, I’ve put her in. It proves that she’s willing to try for me.

Mesmerized I turn to look at her, running my fingers through the side of her velvety locks taking in the curve of her nose, the way her jawline smoothly runs, eyes having shut her lashes brushing against her cheeks, teeth sunk into her lower lip, while her eyebrows furrow as she concentrates on what she’s doing. Letting go of her hair regretfully so, I lower my hand to her breast grabbing it happily, which earns me a surprised gasp, eyes opening wide, to see what I’m doing.

‘’Such a good girl, my pretty princess.’’ I coo ghosting my lips over her cheeks, down her jawline daring a gentle bite to the side, before I lower down to press a firmer kiss onto her throat, leaving behind a red mark properly ‘’Keep doing that yeah.’’ I whisper, licking over the juncture where her neck meets her shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss as I tighten my leg up her hips getting lazier in moving so I bite harshly making her shout out, from surprise more than pain. I kiss over the bite mark, soothing her, as I kneed her breast and start to move my own hips against her, not causing nearly enough friction against my clit, but it’s the fact that its Y/N, underneath me that turns me on so much.

‘’I c-can’t…’’ she suddenly stops, hips stilling, while her breathing is already laboured her eyes pleading as she looks up at me.

‘’You’ve been so good princess.’’ I reply kissing the tip of her nose and then her lips ‘’I’ll take care of you.’’ I make a come-hitter motion above her head so she doesn’t see, the gesture a silent order which the shadows eagerly follow, and seep onto the bed crawling and making their way towards us ‘’Trust me alright?’’ I repeat myself again as the darkness of the shadows touch her skin and start raising up ‘’Close your eyes, my love.’’ I urge her with a gentle tone. She does as I say immediately, breathing having calmed down back normally, while I watch as the shadows cover her eyes and eyes alone. I shift again planting both of my feet between her legs, and make myself comfortable as well as I start to mark her neck up, taking my sweet, sweet time tasting and teasing her. I’m not calling her princess only because I know she secretly loves it, but because to me she is a princess and I will treat her like one, doting beautiful marks to mark her skin so she won’t be able to forget my touches for days. Undoing the ribbon that’s holding the baby doll dress barely together I push the material to the side to properly “uncover her”.

‘’You are the most gorgeous, human being I have ever seen in my life.’’ I say between kisses in awe of her ‘’So, so gorgeous baby.’’ All the while I colour her skin in blooming marks, at certain spots I don’t miss her breath hitching or the noises she makes, differently pitched some breathy some throaty.

‘’You’re flawless in every way, from head to toe…’’ I continue as I make my way down, kissing the top of her breasts biting one because you can’t resist something like that. She does whine in protest but doesn’t complain, while I cast my eyes on the trail, I’ve left with some of my lipstick that has gotten smeared on her skin, but it looks good on her.

‘’So soft, so gentle…’’ I go on, down her tummy, to the edge of her panties listening to her breathing that’s picking up. I let my fingers tap against her ribs teasingly as I make a mark near her hip ‘’Perfect.’’ I end up whispering sitting up watching her head roll side to side eyebrows furrowing ‘’You were made for me, baby girl.’’

I don’t pay mind on the expression she makes, and how quiet she has gotten as I reach for the rope I’ve left earlier on the edge of the bed, where the chain is attached to. I tap her thigh gently, letting my nails run downwards which has her gently hissing, but I can smell her arousal her wetness starting to soak her panties ‘’You like that baby?’’ I ask smirking repeating the motion again, readjusting the rope in my other hand.

‘’I do.’’ she breathes out trying to shift.

‘’You’re going to love this next part, princess.’’ I taunt the rope left forgotten in favour or running my nails from the edge of her panties down the inside of her thighs as my legs are holding them spread open as the chain doesn’t allow her to bend her legs. Her mouth falls open, a whine leaving her throat as the next time I do this, I run my fingers closer to where she wants me the most. This whole teasing her plan is quickly falling apart as I just want to taste her. She smells absolutely divine ‘’I think it’s time to take these off don’t you think?’’

To my surprise she nods her head, but brings my attention to the chains which are strained, from her tugging arms trying to reach out for something and clearly failing to do so. It calms me down, encourages me to take my time, the feeling of excitement as if I’m unwrapping a present washing over me. I slip the pads of my fingers on both sides of the white lace, and slowly but steadily tug the material down, meanwhile she plainly raises her hips up helping me along. Pressing a kiss to the inside of her knee the panties follow along, until her mid-thigh, when the realization hits ‘’Ah this won’t do.’’ I tsk as she drops back down onto the bed, eyebrows raised in question. I grab the material and with one simple tug they are off, albeit in pieces but they won’t be a bother.

‘’D-did you j-just…’’ her head shots up, as she whines sounding embarrassed.

‘’I’ll get you new ones, don’t worry.’’ I reassure her, lowering myself to hover over her exposed core, with my hands pushing her thighs aside.

‘’W-what are you going to do?’’ she asks sounding so cute, so innocent.

Getting the rope, she tenses under me once the slightly rougher material touches her exposed skin. The chains rattle due to her surprise, but I raise my eyebrow glancing at the hesitating shadows that have pulled back. Once my eyes land on them on the side of the bed, the shoot towards her right leg, loosening the chain. With a freed leg I bend hers gently cooing along ‘’What do you think I’m going to do?’’ I ask playfully, tying the rope carefully around her thigh and calf, leg bent but unmoving.

‘’I…’’ she starts voice cracking making me chuckle.

‘’Awww is my princess getting shy?’’ stopping for a moment I let my nails run towards her pussy ‘’Why so timid suddenly? You didn’t have a problem spreading your legs a moment ago.’’ I provoke her, her chains rattling as she shakes her head probably wanting to cover her face, but it prompts me to chuckle again at how adorable she’s acting. Pulling my hands back only leaving my pointing finger on my right hand extended, I let it run between her lower lips the touch making her whine.

‘’Yoonji…’’ she breathes out pleadingly, while I bring my finger up licking it moaning at the taste of sweetness that floods my taste buds.

‘’Ugh princess you taste so sweet.’’ I groan bending over, keeping her thighs spread, as I let my tongue stick out and boldly lick her from her entrance upwards. But that’s it, enough that I get a more proper taste and to tease her painfully so as it wasn’t nearly enough pressure or anything.

‘’No, please…’’ she gasps chains straining again as she lifts her upper body up for a moment, meanwhile I glance to the side of the bed smiling, as the shadows are ghosting over the sheets, before they retreat leaving an item behind ‘’M-more, please touch me more my love please…’’ I’m pleasantly surprised at her begging ‘’I need you, p-please.’’ Her body falls back onto the bed but I bet her ears are strained for any kind of sound as I’m not touching her ‘’Unnie?’’ she asks but I remained completely silent, even breathing shallowly as I examine the toy turning it in my hands locating the turn on and of button and basic settings ‘’Yoonji?’’

‘’Hmmm you should say my name more often.’’ I hum in delight, upon hearing my name fall from her lips, while I grab her tied up leg, and force the toy under the rope against her thigh so she can feel its length ‘’And moan it.’’ I click my tongue, guiding her leg up the tip of the vibrator hovering over her lower lips ‘’Hm definitely moan it.’’ I daunt on, twisting the top turning the vibrator it coming to life, making her yelp in surprise and twitch, but I have a good hold on her leg so she doesn’t move away the toy briefly touching her clit even ‘’Ahh tsk tsk, stay still princess.’’ I glance up watching as she squirms clearly not knowing what to do. Either run away from the sensation or lean into it ‘’Y/N-ah.’’ I drawl her name out in a warning tone that has her whimpering head casted downwards.

‘’I wanna see you. Please, I wanna see.’’ She asks instead as I move her leg the tiniest but, using my right hand to spread her lips gently, any kind of initial touch making her jump in surprise.

‘’Now what’s the fun in that hmmm?’’ I ask pulling her leg closed more, so the vibrating tip does touch her clit for solid 4 seconds before I push her leg away but let the toy hover close. She tries to buck her hips forward, tries to move her leg, but instead she earns herself a harsh slap against both of her thighs making her yelp which ends up as a moan.

I quirk my eyebrows smirking, loving the way she sounds and how her hips stutter once I bring the toy closer again. With my right hand, I sink my fingernails firmer into her thigh watching in awe as I leave angry pink lines behind, marking her flawless skin further. She squirms trying to move her leg away, but her squirming makes my left arm press the toy directly onto her clit unexpectedly, into which she mewls managing to slide down the bed further and closer to me, the chains on her arms strained fully, probably tugging her wrists uncomfortably.

I let go of her completely pushing her leg away, the toy still buzzing while I take the moment of her utter confusion to grab her under her ass easily lifting her back up again ‘’What are you…oopfff…’’ some air gets knocked out of her lungs at the unexpected movement, but it has her moved up head propped on a pillow the shadows slowly trickling away from her delicate features.

As I crawl closer, I reach for the hem of the black long sleeve shirt I’m wearing ‘’Ah there’s my baby girl.’’ I coo as she opens her eyes, once I start tugging the material upwards revealing skin, ending up in a matching set she is wearing except mine is in a dark violet colour ‘’You look so pretty my love.’’ I’m just mesmerized how she looks, the vulnerable expression she has on eyes glassy lower lip even trembling slightly.

Discharging the unrequired clothing, I focus back on the situation at hand, taking a hold of her tied leg that fell to the side and raise it up again ‘’How badly do you want it?’’ I whisper resting my chin over her knee.

‘’So, so much.’’ she replies eyebrows furrowing as she looks at me pleadingly making me hum in reply my gaze unravel her ‘’Yoonji please…’’ ah she knows exactly how to play me ‘’Please Yoonji, I’ve been good, take me, make me yours.’’ Her body is trembling slightly under me, which I can read only as excitement. It has a shudder running down my spine, and heat pooling in my lower belly.

I hum again louder subtly moving her leg, keeping eye contact, so the toy hovers over her cunt. I stare as her eyes fall down, staring in anticipation chest quickly raising and falling, her arms already strained again. I click my tongue, glancing down smirking ‘’Such a cute little pussy.’’ I say to myself, and with my free hand, spread her lips apart feeling myself getting wet upon seeing her so soaked ‘’You are so fucking wet baby girl.’’

‘’You. It’s because of you.’’ She breathes out as if she’s waiting on something to pounce on her at any time. Glancing up again, I capture the moment when she slides into bliss once the vibrator presses against her aching clit. I hold her leg firmly and in place, and turn the knob on the toy to the fullest, the sudden assault making her shout out, back arching beautifully so, chains rattling loudly.

‘’That’s it.’’ I can feel how her pussy is pulsing to which I take the initiative to lower my middle finger down, prodding it briefly over her entrance. Once her back falls onto the bed again, I slide my finger inside her agonizingly slowly, watching how she has her eyes screwed shut and her mouth falls open shout getting lost, in the overwhelming feelings. Pulling my wet finger out, I move her leg making the toy raise up and down. Her fingers and toes are already curled, while her thighs start trembling ‘’Let it go, princess. Cum for me my love.’’

‘’Y-y-y-yoon…’’ I grin wider, just admiring how gorgeous she looks. Her skin is glistering as a thin layer of sweat covers her. Her hair despite nobody touching it, is messy on top of her head beautifully so. Her face is scrunched up in pleasure and bliss, lips plumper because she has been biting onto them earlier. Her body is still tensed up, her orgasm stretching out getting to much probably ‘’Too much, too much…’’ she starts whining and trashing, trying to move her legs and crawl away, but I’m stronger not even using a friction of my strength to hold her still ‘’No more, please Yoonji please…’’ she cries eyes falling open voice slightly wrecked upon her exclaims.

Eternally beautiful that’s what she is. An enchantress, who stole my heart.

‘’Shh you are doing amazing baby.’’ I coo instead, watching delighted at how she still tries to use her strength to break free, but is quick to fall back on the bed, a sob making its way past her bruised lips.

‘’Pleaseee…’’ she cries shoulders shaking. But it’s her eyes, the glimmer in them that has me turning off the toy and letting her leg fall over and down. Her body twitches, the sight making me smile in affection at how much this affected her.

‘’You did so well, princess.’’ I praise her ‘’So beautiful, and strong you are baby girl.’’ Leaning down I press a kiss onto her tummy, hands reaching for the rope fingers making quick work of undoing the restrains, that leave pretty imprints in their wake ‘’Ah just look at you darling, so pretty, so angry, aren’t you baby?’’ I test the waters, letting her leg unfold watching her slowly opening her eyes to glare at me, as she’s still recovering. The glare she is giving me is almost on the verge of hatred which I know is just frustration and lust. It’s just straight up turning me on even more, making me ache for her, frying my already thin patience ‘’Mmm, you want me to touch you, fuck you, like you’ve been waiting for. You want me to cut the shit, stop teasing and fucking do something already, right honey?’’ I end up grinning showing off my teeth, feeling the shadows like satin being draped over my skin, wrap around my hips and legs and front.

‘’I’m being unfair, right? Unreasonable. You’ve been so good, did everything I asked, let me tie you up, and play with you, and I’m just being a bitch now, aren’t I?’’ I turn sad looking at her with my head bowed slightly. She nods faintly but remains glaring at me. With a snap of my fingers, the shadows start pulling back, her legs now free while my lower half is bare but hidden behind the strap-on which was tightens onto me.

‘’Can I make it up to you pretty princess?’’ I speak in a sweet voice crawling up her body again, pressing kisses onto her skin here and there, by passing her breasts. She remains lying with her head to the side, refusing to look at me which irks me immediately. I don’t understand where this stubbornness is suddenly from.

Dropping onto my elbows I nuzzle into her neck, licking over the flourishing bruises raising up towards her ear, where I know she’s sensitive at. Even when I flicker my tongue over her earlobe she shudders gently ‘’Baby look at me.’’ I breathe out into her ear, feeling her squirm under me, as with my left hand I shamelessly grip and squeeze her breast, eagerly pinching and squeezing her nipple ‘’Y/N-ah.’’ I try again sensually pinching harder earning myself a whimper but she keeps her head away, deep rooted stubbornness coming into play clearly. I let my hand trickle upwards, until I grab at her chin forcefully and tug her head forward forcing her to look at me, her wide eyes sparkling with glossiness that appears instantly, jaw clenching.

‘’I would appreciate it, if you looked at me when I’m talking to you.’’ I speak slowly pronouncing each word precisely, as I let my nails dig into her skin but only to get her blood running faster ‘’Now…I am not so sure about giving you a reward anymore.’’ I let go of her chin, but keep my fingers pressed over her skin as I trace them downwards to her neck, maintaining eye contact at all times ‘’I was nice enough to you.’’

Frowning I let my left hand hold her by her neck, pressing onto that spot where I know it will cut into her airways. She’s still defiant glaring up at me, hands clenched in fists above her head, as the shadows have tightened the chains to my liking ‘’My intentions were well intended…’’ I start shaking my head briefly, as I glance down at the strap on, the dildo appropriately in a pink colour as well to match her outfit, it’s resting between the junction of her lower lips and thigh ‘’…but your foolishness I won’t tolerate…’’ grabbing the base of the toy, I guide it to her lower lips gently prodding, to get some of her juices to coat the pink tip. Of course, the way she stiffens up I completely ignore instead my eyes snap up to her still angry and defiant glare ‘’…you’re with me now baby girl, you will need to learn manners.’’ Tightening my hold on her neck it is a silent treat. I’m aware it’s a trope ‘if I can’t have you nobody else can’, but its true. It’s not scary or spooky its simple; she belongs to me. And there is no way I’m ever letting her go out of my sight, or to far away from me. She needs to realize it soon!

‘’Anything you want to say to me, princess?’’ I try letting go of her throat to readjust my position, and pull her deliciously peachy ass over my thighs and spreading her legs wider but not in a way that she is uncomfortable. She’s still my priority, even if she is pissing me off and disrespecting me, she’s a human, and they are delicate beings. I just hope she notices the effort I’m making ‘’No?’’ I tilt my head her silence a clear answer on its own as I keep staring at her ‘’Fine then as you wish princess.’’

Flickering my fingers, the shadows visibly crawl up the sides of the bed, towards her. Her eyes dart to them, legs suddenly tugging away, body wiggling which does trigger a faint memory in my brain of humans having a flight or fight response, and it seems be the first one acting now on her part. The chains rattle loudly in the peacefully environment, her cries sounding like perfectly pitched harmonies, until the shadows reach her delicate face, covering her mouth shutting off any sound from her.

‘’Where were we?’’ I sigh content tsking upon seeing the big fat tears trailing down her heated cheeks. Simply smirking, I glance down collecting some spit in my mouth, to use it as temporary lubricant for the toy, before dragging the tip gently between her lower lips up and down, smirking as she tries to squirm away, but she has nowhere to go as my hold is too secure for her to do much. Poor weak human ‘’C’mon baby girl, you need to relax.’’ I coo feeling her right thigh tense up, tapping it gently with my left hand as I settle the toy at her entrance halting, daunting her more ‘’Its not going to feel nice princess you need to relax.’’ The last part I say through my teeth, digging my fingers into her flesh as a in warning.

I stare at her eyes, watching as slowly the haziness settles back in them my heart softening upon seeing the lust return and stubbornness fading away ‘’There she is. My princess.’’ A rock falls from my heart, as she relaxes into the bed, body going limp properly. She’s at my complete mercy, and is trusting me completely by showing it through her calmness.

I look down briefly, pushing my hips forward slowly, taking it easy for our first time. The toy slowly disappears inside her, the sight arousing me beyond belief making me ache harder for her, for my own stimulation. But it’s all about her for now.

Bottoming out, her expression relaxes eyes closing from the feeling as a muffled moan fills the room. Smirking I take a hold of her legs pulling my hips back then pushing them forward. I don’t stop to check on her, I start a steady rhythm, feeling my own thighs burning but it’s a welcomed burn. It isn’t until I’ve steadied my rhythm that I glance up at her, entranced for a moment by her breast bouncing up and down slowly, and the way her hazy eyes are fixated onto me. I’m startled by the powerful emotions written in her eyes which have me momentarily stopping. I grin widely as she immediately starts to whine and try moving her hips instead. Stunned still, the shadows start to pull away on their own, freeing her arms and legs, and body as well as retreating from her mouth, the whines like the sweetest melody playing in my ears.

‘’Please Yoonji, please move.’’ She begs so deliciously arms raising towards me as much as the chains allow, her fingers clenching and unclenching ‘’Please move, I need you so bad, please baby…’’

She is going to be the death of me I swear ‘’Shhh, I’ve got you princess, let me make you feel good.’’ I coo, readjusting my position her legs willingly raising as the chains on her ankles came undone when the shadows retreated. She spreads herself out for me, enabling me to brace myself on my arms, over her as I start thrusting, working my hips albeit a bit awkward as I’m not a dancer in the slightest, or a physical person but judging by the moans and her erotic expressions I’m doing it right.

It doesn’t take that much time for me to start panting slightly too, as every time I thrust inside her, the strap on moves in such a way that it brushes against my clit. I don’t enjoy edging to much I like to edge anyone else, but it being done to me is a no go. But this time around I’m liking it, as it strikes fire and sparks that spread through my veins.

‘’Feels so goooodddd baby…’’ she moans, raising her head up as much as she can, whining upon not getting what she wants. So adorable my princess is. Leaning down granting her unspoken wish, she is hungry moving her lips, almost desperately, tongue teasing and flickering over my lower lip. She gets bold enough to take the chance and sink her teeth into my lower lip.

‘’Such a naughty princess I have.’’ I growl thrusts becoming more shallow but deeper and harsher, the sound of skin slapping against skin almost echoing around the darkly lit room ‘’What am I going to do with you huh?’’ I wonder, licking over my lips taunting her as she raises up again, just to drop back down, shaking her head left and right like a brat.

‘’Fuck me harder. Please fuck me harder.’’ Her words have me grinning, but slowing down my thrusts slamming my hips against hers harsher ‘’Ahhhh fuckk…’’ she squeaks ending up smirking and giggling in delight.

‘’How does it feel baby? Tell me how good I make you feel.’’ lowering down, onto my elbows I raise an eyebrow waiting for her to get to eager, to give me an excuse to tease and punish her more, but she simply stills and stares at me, legs wrapping themselves around my waist. I’m sure if I had a dick, I would feel her clenching around me.

She remains obedient and just stares at me, a smile appearing on her features ‘’You make me feel sooooooooooo good, baby, like I’m on top of the world…’’ her smile widens eyes darting to my lips ‘’Please.’’ She whispers making me hum.

‘’Please what, princess?’’

‘’Please make me cum.’’ She replies back shamelessly, eyebrows furrowing as she’s clearly trying to give me puppy eyes. It’s not the first time she has done this ‘’Please my love, I’ve been a good girl haven’t I?’’

I can’t help but to chuckle. She knows exactly what to say to me to make me buckle, play the right notes and strings ‘’So needy for me baby aren’t you?’’

She immediately nods looking adorable enough to melt my heart, and there aren’t many things, occurrences or even less people that could have ever done that. She keeps repeatedly doing it.

So, I pull my hips back and thrust forward, repeating the same motion again her hum of satisfaction urging me on ‘’A-a-always for y-y-ou…’’ she practically purrs, even more so when I place my hand onto her throat again pressing firmly onto that spot that start to cut off her airway again.

Her eyes close as her back arches, fingers clutching onto the chains hard enough that if she was slightly stronger, she’d tear them straight off. I focus on just fucking her properly, keeping the thrusts fast as I can but also hard like she wanted. Ignoring my own needs, I lean down to quickly bite at her pebbled nipple, which has her hips buckling wildly, the position that she pushes herself now, has me entering her at a different angle as she suddenly shouts, legs shaking.

‘’YEAH JUST LIKE…T-THAT…’’ she exclaims.

‘’Nobody could ever fuck you like I can.’’ I start letting a little growl at the end of my sentence ‘’Nobody can ever satisfy you like I can princess.’’

She faintly nods, moans just tearing past her lips ‘’He never could have even imagined how to properly take care of you.’’ I growl practically, hating the faint memory of that pest of a human that dared to even have feelings towards her ‘’Jimin didn’t deserve you.’’

At the mention of his name her back falls as she breaths harshly and looks at me, expression stuck in one of bliss as well as her body remaining tightened like a string that’s about to break ‘’He wasn’t worthy of your presence. It’s why he had to be eliminated. Only I can look at you like this, feel you, touch you…’’ I moan as the way we’re both moving, has me keening briefly breaking the rhythm the strap on having rubbed against my clit just right.

I pick myself up still having a tight hold on her neck, while with my right hand, I quickly slap it over her breast the yelp she lets go only bringing a wider smile to my lips, even more so upon pinching her nipple my plan of overwhelming her working ‘’I am the only one, princess, the only one that you belong to. You are mine, and no one else.’’

Completely enamoured I stare at her, as she’s starting to lose it. Her body is giving in, as well as her mind ‘’Cum for me Y/N. Now.’’ And just like that, as I release her neck, she inhales desperately my hand lowering to flicker over her clit. It has her curling up, the chains rattling loudly as he body twists around me, legs locking me in, hands reaching for me fingers curling into tight fists while her shout dies down.

I make sure to keep thrusting forward, but start to slow down the pace. I let my fingers gently glide over her stomach and the few stretch marks beautifully etched into her skin. I let my fingers run down over her thighs but settle then under her ass, to hold her steady her body’s starting to calm down, trembling subduing.

‘’Gorgeous.’’ I find myself whispering, as the world comes to a complete still. I faintly notice the lights around the room flickering back on, but my focus in on her and how her chest raises and falls quickly, the few droplets of sweat trailing down between her breasts glinting in the brighter lighting. The chains do allow her, to cover her eyes with her still fisted hands. I don’t like the sight of her hiding her face away, but I need to keep in mind that she is human so I need to be patient more, even though I’ve been a saint of patience this whole time.

Upon her whining I giggle at how her nose scrunches up, head lulling side to side the message clear, but I still keep moving my hips waiting to hear her voice ‘’No…please no more…’’ she tries eyes still closed hands trying to reach for me ‘’Ah it hurts…’’ she whines eyes finally fluttering open as she looks at me ‘’Yoonji…’’ she whispers making me nod, feeling satisfied as I pull out and hover above her for a moment, while dropping onto my elbows the feeling of the shadows ghosting over my skin familiar.

‘’There, there my princess.’’ I coo pushing away the few strands of hair from her face, tracing her soft skin feeling how heated her skin is ‘’You did amazingly, my love. So gorgeous for me.’’ I praise her, cupping her cheek gently with my left hand while with my right I continue to trace my fingers over her forehead, eyebrow, cheekbone and so on. My heart flutters as she leans eagerly into my hand, eyes remaining open as she looks at me.

‘’What about you?’’ her voice is hoarse from her shouting and moaning so much, but it has this sort of sexiness to it, that is turning me on.

‘’Hmmmmm what about me?’’ my smirk widens knowing what she’s insinuating. But I want to hear her say it.

She pouts at me easily making me laugh and happy at her adorableness and occasionally shyness as if what we’ve done was innocent ‘’You know.’’ She mumbles stubbornly eyebrows furrowed as she glares at me clearly frustrated.

‘’I know what?’’ I go on playing innocent, lowering my ass down as the shadows took the toy away, so I can finally relax.

‘’Yoonjiiiii.’’ She whines adorably, making me lean in to steal a kiss away instead.

‘’Y/N-ah use your words princess. Unfortunately, I cannot read minds.’’ I rest my forehead against hers grinning shamelessly watching in hunger at her dilemma resolving slowly.

Her lower lips juts out more but she gives in under the hard look I’m giving her which has her groaning out in frustration, my laughter louder as I back away giving her time as her struggle is delicious to see ‘’Stop don’t make fun of me!’’ she’s quick to fire.

‘’I’m not my love I swear! You are just so cute and adorable I can’t handle it!’’ I coo in return scrunching up my nose.

‘’I am not!!’’ she fires back, to which I raise an eyebrow instead ‘’Ugh why do you wanna make me say it, you know what I mean!’’ the chains rattle again, as she tries to reach for me ‘’I want to touch you, damnit and make you feel good!’’ she ends up whining but her words are quick to capture my attention. As if she didn’t have it completely. But it has the playfulness slowly start to seep away, as the fire inside me is still ongoing only now becoming more present and my own needs shift to the front.

‘’Are you sure you’re up for it? You sure you can handle it baby girl?’’ I lower my tone, keeping it even as I throw my leg over hers, grounding myself shifting my hips forward over her thigh all the while keeping eye contact, letting my right hand raise over her throat, fingers grasping her chin, as the shadows around me whisper her name, caress her skin seep into her bones. I stare in delight how her eyes get hazier the clearness disappearing, her true emotions coming to the surface, her love towards me shining through ‘’Are you certain you can handle me, Princess?’’

Copyright 2019© by barbika1508. All rights reserved.

[heavenlydreamerblog]

In Too Deep

Chapter 4

 Four months later

 “Lexy ! Come into my office and shut the door behind you please.” I knew she meant business by the frown marks etched between her eyebrows and the way her eyes locked on mine the moment the lock snapped shut on the door. “Sit down and just take notes for a moment. We’ve got more work than sense coming in and we need to keep on top of all the requests before we drown,” she sighed, gazing at the piles of paperwork piled high on every work surface.

“I need you to take on extra work I’m afraid. We’ve lost Jerry and Adam over the past couple of months and they were my fucking go-to party planner boys. You know I can’t replace their contacts and I’m having to turn down work. I need you to step up for a few months until I can recruit some more talent Lexy.” The phone rang and she grabbed it, checking out the number. Not recognised.

Carrie hit the answer button: “Morning, Blue Sky Party Planners, how can we help?”

I zoned out for a moment, looking at all the Hollywood A-listers plastered over the walls, some drunk, others half-dressed, at parties Carrie had organised. I was half pleased that she’d asked me to help out, after all I’d only joined the team three months ago. But the other more shy and modest side of me was flustered, panicked and feeling slightly out of its depth.

After leaving LAX and saying my goodbyes to Shannon, I’d hardly had time to think of anything but finding my place in this sprawling city. Now here I was, facing a very steep learning curve.

Carrie’s voice brought me back down to earth with a crash. “Grab your purse!. We’re off for a coffee and a brief on your first job. You’ll need your notebook, pens, pencils and your phone,” she said, grabbing her bag while practically running out of the office.

I hurried in her wake, the waft of YSL trailing behind her. It was her trademark and I kinda liked it but not for myself. By the time we made it outside, I could feel the heat from the sidewalk hit me. “Jesus Lexy, we’re in the nearest coffee shop out of this bloody heat.” Our local was always waiting with a welcome espresso. We sat in a cool and quiet corner, away from the window and its distractions.

“So.....” I said. “What’s the job you have planned for me?” Our coffees arrived, halting the conversation for a moment, while we both breathed in the aroma and got our first caffeine hit of the day. “Well,” I said excitedly. “Let me know what you’ve got planned.” I know she could tell that under the excitement, there was a slight knot of dread building in the pit of my stomach.

“Lexy, you’ll be fine for Christ’s sake. Relax for once and believe in yourself, will you!” I smiled, cradling my espresso cup in my hands. “You know me Carrie, always worrying that I’ll mess up and disappoint you.”

“Well shut the fuck up and listen because this is a pretty good one to get your teeth into. And yes ... I’ll kill you if you fuck up!” she grinned, looking at the terror in my eyes. “Only joking, but seriously, this is a great party for you to kick off with. Get your pad out and I’ll give you the details.

I chewed the end of my pencil as she reeled off a list of things I needed to know:

Jared leto

Laurel Canyon,

Hollywood Hills

Military base

Birthday party

A-list guests

*BIG SECRET

Those caps were ordered by Carrie. “We’re sworn to secrecy on this one hun, so lips sealed!  I’ve made an appointment for 5pm. Jared will meet you at his home and go through the finer details with you OK?”

“Yeah, sure. Do we know who the birthday party’s for?” I asked this while swirling my finger around my coffee cup, licking the creamy foam from my fingers. Bad habit, I know, and from the look on Carrie’s face she thought the same. “For Christ sake don’t do that in front of Jared ... and no, I have no idea who the party’s for. Just get your ass  to his place and make it on time. He doesn’t suffer fools gladly, especially those who’re late for meetings.”

Now was not the time to voice similarities between Jared and my boss, so I bit my tongue. Nor was it the time to admit I’d never even heard of Jared Leto.

 Thank God for satnav. This was definitely not my part of town; way, way out of my league. I smiled at the thought of the modest duplex I shared with my work colleague Jess, as I craned my neck to look at some of these amazing properties. I felt butterflies in my stomach as I made a mental check list of things to remember. I didn’t need a brain freeze on my first appointment.

Casting my eyes down to the screen, I could see I was just a minute from Jared’s house. There hadn’t been much time for homework, I admit, but I knew the bare bones: actor, musician, Gucci muse. If I’d had more time with Google, I’d have been better prepared ... but this was business and I had a list as long as my arm to work through with him.

The aircon in the car had lulled me. As I threw open the car door, the heat of the day burned into my skin as I took in the sheer size of the place.

“Hi I’m Emma!” I almost jumped out of my skin. I’d been too  wrapped up in my party planning thoughts to notice the woman approaching me with a welcoming smile on her face.

“I’m Jared’s assistant. Come with me. He won’t be a moment. He’s just taking some calls and he’ll be with you. Can I get you some water or juice?”

She was really sweet and I could feel the tension melt away as I accepted a bottle of chilled water.

“How big is this place? It’s amazing!” I couldn’t help the words tumbling out.

“Believe me, it’s silly big,” Emma laughed, watching my eyes sweep across the space we were sat in. “It’s an old air force station. Not what you’d call a conventional family home. Anyway, Jared’s not what you’d call conventional, so it’s a perfect match.

“I’ll have to leave you now. I’ve got a mountain of work to get through,” she said apologetically. “Just give Jared another few minutes and he’ll be with you.” With that she was gone, lost in the hugeness of this house.

Without Emma, I felt lost again. I curled my legs underneath me on the sofa, opening my bag and pulling out my notes. I zoned out as I went through my check list, making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. My phone vibrated, sending  a jolt through my thighs and into my stomach.

CARRIE:  Don’t submit to any of his charm offensive!!!!!!!!! 

ME: WHAT?????? 

CARRIE: You obviously haven’t met him yet .....

I shoved my phone out of sight in my bag, flustered and wondering where the fuck he was. And I don’t use the word “fuck” lightly.

I gathered my papers into a pile on the sofa, unaware of footsteps approaching from behind.

“So you’re Lexy ....” the voice was dominant, yet soft, and made me jump, as I turned my body to face him.

Keep professional Lexy ... that’s all I could think. “Hi! Yes I’ve come to discuss your party plans. Shall we sit down somewhere and we can go through the details?” He was watching my every move, I could tell. He let my words fall into a void, waiting for a reaction to the silence between us. I felt a shiver run across me. “Shall we go and find somewhere then?” I took control of the situation, standing while smoothing the creases from my linen dress, an impossible task I know, but it distracted me for a moment.

“Of course Lexy. Let’s go to my office where it’s quiet and we can talk.” The spell was broken. I followed behind, watching his confident strides eating up the endless space of this house. He opened the door and gestured for me to sit on a corner sofa. His desk was cluttered with paper, a laptop and piles of other work. “So where do you want to begin?” I asked, pulling my notes together.

We must have spent the next three hours hammering out the details. Like Carrie's list earlier, I now had another list, this time from Jared:

Brother’s birthday party 

Select guest list

Pool party

DJ

Fairy lights (hundreds!)

Catering

Coffee

Birthday present

*BIG SECRET

 What else can he possibly want???? “What timescale are we looking at here Jared,” I said, rubbing the edge of my pen across my bottom lip. “When’s your brother’s birthday?”

“March 9. You have two weeks to pull this shit together,” he said laughing at the look of horror that must have been etched on my face. He reached over and playfully punched my arm. “We’ve nailed most of my party needs. Put your notes away and follow me,” he demanded.

“I need to get back to the office if I’m to stand any chance of meeting my deadline Jared!”

“All work and no play Lexy! Forget the party for a couple of hours and let’s get to know each other.”

I remembered Carrie’s text and tried breathing deeply. Before I could reply, I felt his hands tug me from the sofa, pressing into the pit of my back and guiding me out of the house and to the poolside.

We’d been working for so long that I’d lost track of time and was surprised to see the sun setting over the hills, turning the sky pinky red. I curled up on a huge outdoor sofa-type chair while Jared disappeared inside.

“Here, take this!” He handed me a glass of white wine, chilled to perfection. “Jared, I’m driving and I’m supposed to be working!”

“I can see you need to relax. Drink the wine, enjoy and we’ll get you home some way or other.” His blue eyes locked on mine, daring me to look away. He’d tied up his hair while inside, uncovering his cheekbones and firm jawline. “One drink Jared, one drink and then I’ll have to go,” I laughed, trying to break the spell.

“OK Miss! Shift over and let me sit down,” he said, gently moving my legs to one side as he curled up alongside me. “So Lexy, spill the beans of your life. I can tell you’re not from LA, so what’s brought you down here?”

I took a gulp of wine to steady my nerves before telling him my life story. As the words spilled out, helped by the alcohol, I could feel the emotion of the day building inside of me, as I told him about the death of my mother. My mind shifted, remembering the flight to LA and the comforting arms of Shannon.

We’d parted with a hug and kiss but no promise of anything else. And I hadn’t followed it up. But now, those memories clouded my thoughts.

“Hey babe, have I lost you?” I felt Jared’s hand cup my chin and lift my face to his. “You OK?” he asked.

“Sorry, I ummmm just was thinking....” I didn’t know what else to say. Those eyes were piercing and I could see he wanted a better explanation.

“Look Jared,” I said, gently removing his fingers from my face. Honesty is best here. “You’re making me nervous and talking about my mum brought back other memories, which are still a little painful for me to deal with. All these emotions and this wine,” I held up the frosted glass, “are making me feel a little vulnerable. I just need you to understand.”

The sun had fully set by now and our faces were illuminated by the pool lights and nothing else. “What can I do to help then?” He moved closer and put his arm around my shoulder. A tattoo caught my eye and stirred up some long-forgotten memory.

“How about giving me double the time to plan for this party,” I smiled, digging him playfully in the ribs and almost spilling my wine.

“You know that’s not going to happen, so what else can I do?”  He smiled this time, his face cast in shadow, as he moved closer. Again my mind cast back to Carrie’s warning but it was becoming increasingly bloody hard to ignore this charm offensive. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip as the tension worked its way from thighs into the pit of my stomach, sending a throbbing ache into my core.

I felt his scruff graze across my cheek as pulled me in closer. The warmth from his body instantly relaxed me and I gave in, resting my head on his chest as his fingers massaged my neck and trailed across my shoulders. I could feel myself getting wet and that ache spreading across my body as his slender fingers worked their magic.

I hadn’t felt like this since I met Shannon and I felt a pang of guilt at not trying to contact him. I just remembered his words about a crazy life and not wanting me to get hurt.

The pool lights shimmered and the water rippled as a breeze caught the night air. Suddenly the tension was broken as I felt Jared’s phone vibrating in his pocket. I’d noticed it was always within reach. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, shifting his body so he could take the call. I sat there listening to the one-sided conversation.

“Hey! You OK?” I continued half listening to the casual chat, the other part of me trying to calm myself and work out my escape.

“My brother always calls at the worst possible moment,” Jared whispered, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

Thanks for all your likes and responses, If you want to be tagged, just let me know. And a big thanks to @spillinginkwithlove xx

 Tag list @letojokerownsme

[ijustreallylovezebras]

You’re What?

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Requested: Yeah

Summary: The reader doesn’t know Peter’s secret identity, only knows that she loves Spider-Man 

I placed my tray down opposite my two best friends, leaving a seat empty between Michelle and I - she was still refusing to admit that the two of us were friends.

“Did you guys see the news last night?” I ask straight away, angling myself so that I’m not only addressing Peter and Ned but also attempting at including Michelle in the conversation, should she deem it interesting enough. She only glances up at us from her book though, seemingly not too interested in the topic of conversation today.

“What on the news?” Ned asks, taking a bite from his sandwich as I open my drink, taking a sip.

“The raid Spider-Man prevented, dude that guy is fucking awesome,” I tell them. I glance up at my two oldest friends just in time to see them looking at each other, exchanging glances, small smiles playing at their lips. “What?” I ask.

“You’re just so weird,” Peter says, his cheeks flushing pink at his gaze being caught by me.

“But he is! Like, you need to see this,” I say, pulling out my phone and going onto YouTube, searching up the video I saw on the news yesterday and placing my phone in front of my two friends.

The two of them watch with passive gazes and when they finish, I’m surprised to see that Michelle holds her hand out. I look between her and the phone a couple of times before realising and resetting the video, placing my phone in her hand.

“Spider-Man is pretty cool,” Ned agrees, chewing on his food. I grimace at him.

“Dude, didn’t your mum ever teach you manners? Don’t talk with your mouth full!” I scold. Ned scowls, swallows and sticks his tongue out at me.

“If I didn’t listen to my mum when she tried to teach me manners, do you think I’ll listen to you?” He asks and I roll my eyes as Michelle slides my phone back down the table to me.

The three of us look at her expectantly but her eyes have already returned to her book.

“You guys want to do something tonight?” Ned asks. “We haven’t had a movie night recently,”

“I’m working tonight, but I could probably come over after my shift’s finished?” I suggest, pulling up my calendar to check my work shift. “I’m working until half eight,”

“I’ve got a Spanish quiz tomorrow to revise for and also the Stark Internship so I can’t tonight,” Peter says apologetically, his eyes dropping to his food tray when he mentions the internship.

“Maybe we should do it after school on Friday?” I suggest, tearing my eyes away from Peter to fix my gaze on Ned who shrugs before nodding.

“Sounds good to me,”

“That should work,” Peter agrees.

On Friday night when I arrive at Ned’s for the movie night, Peter and Ned had already set it up and were helping Mrs Leeds with the snacks. I let myself in, knowing that they wouldn’t mind. I had been coming to Ned’s house for movie nights for as long as I could remember, his mum made the best snacks and minded the least about us staying up all night. 

May still wasn’t so keen on me staying over night in Peter’s bedroom with the door closed and I had to sleep on the sofa there, even though she continuously told me that she trusted me. I just couldn’t have the boys over for movie nights without my brothers crashing, which was more than annoying and my mum didn’t like us staying awake all night.

“We figured that we hadn’t watched the Jurassic park series in a while, up for a marathon of them?” Peter asks, bounding over to hug me when he sees me.

“I mean, I get to see Chris Pratt’s face, not to mention that dinosaurs are fucking cool so I’m down,” I agree, hugging my best friend back.

“Jurassic World isn’t until four movies in, Y/N, you know full well that you’ll be asleep by then,” Ned teases, hugging me in greeting as well.

“When seeing Chris Pratt’s beautiful face is at stake, I’m sure I’ll manage to stay awake,” I grin before going into the kitchen to say hello to Mrs Leeds.

“You have an unhealthy obsession with him and it needs to stop,” Peter informs me, following me into the kitchen and picking up the bowl of popcorn as I grab the bags of sweets. Ned picks up the tray of brownies his mum made for us and we follow him upstairs into his room.

“If you can find me a support group, I’ll be happy to attend,”

We settle onto the sofa, my legs are thrown over the laps of both Peter and Ned and Ned presses play on the remote, the starting scene of the original Jurassic Park starting up.

“Okay, here’s a question for you,” Ned speaks up, half way through the film.

“Who?” I ask and he grabs my foot, tickling it, causing me to squeal and kick at him, moving my feet away so that they’re curled up on Peter’s lap instead. Peter smiles when I curl up even further to rest my head on his shoulder, almost in a ball on his lap.

“You. Who do you love more, Spider-Man or Chris Pratt?” I jolt upright to look at him, almost missing the blush that covers Peter’s face. I brush it off, assuming I accidentally hit him somewhere I shouldn’t have.

“Dude, don’t ask me that!” I say, frowning.

“But surely it’s easy because you know how beautiful Chris Pratt is, but you don’t know what Spider-Man actually looks like,” Ned says, giving a quick glance to Peter whose gaze is fixed on the screen.

“Peter, who would you pick?” I ask, flopping back down so my head is lying on his shoulder.

“Chris Pratt,” Peter answers instantly. I laugh at his quick answer.

“But Spider-Man’s awesome, like, he just seems like a nice guy, you know?” I argue, watching the dinosaurs come back on screen. “I’d pick Spider-Man,” I decide finally. Ned starts laughing and I look at him.

“Sorry,” he manages out between fits of laughter. Peter’s face is scarlet and I frown.

“Are you okay, Peter?” I ask and he nods quickly.

“Just hot,” he manages, which sends Ned into another wave of giggles.

“I’ll open a window,” I announce, standing up and walking to Ned’s window.

A few days later, Michelle and I are shopping together. She had agreed to hang out with me and, when I suggested we go book shopping together, she had jumped at the idea, insisting to take me to her favourite part of town.

I was growing on her, and I knew it. I had even managed to make her laugh a couple of times. She had told me some books to read and I had bought them and I had recommended my favourite trilogy, which she then bought all three of, to my complete delight. 

We were walking around a music store, joking about nothing, when she spotted it. Michelle rushed past me and picked up a phone case. A Spider-Man phone case. She held it up, a huge grin on her face.

“I’m going to buy it for you,” she says and I shake my head, rolling my eyes a little.

“Why?” 

“Because he’s your favourite superhero, and that’s what friends do,” she seemed to loose a little confidence in her words and I beam at her.

“Okay, then I’m going to buy you something too,” I insist, searching around desperately for a gift she would want. Finally I settle on the newest album from her favourite band.

The two of us smile at one another, going to pay for the gifts and when we get outside the store, we exchange them, wide smiles on our faces.

“Would you want to come to our next movie night? Mrs Leeds makes some awesome snacks?” I offer and Michelle beams, I take that as my answer.

The next day at school, Peter is the first person to notice my new phone case.

“You, um, you got a new case?” He questions and I nod, beaming as I pass my phone to him. 

“MJ bought it for me,” I tell him and he looks at me, confused.

“MJ?”

“Michelle,” I confirm and he nods. “I also invited her to our next movie night, I hope that’s alright,” Peter nods again, seeming distracted. “Are you okay, Peter?” I ask, furrowing my brow and his head shoots up to meet my gaze, nodding once more.

“Of course,”

“Really? You always get all embarrassed whenever I bring up Spider-Man,” I say, frowning. “Do you know him... you know, from the Stark Internship?”

“No, I’m not... embarrassed. I just... never thought I’d see my best friend fangirling over me,” he murmurs, clearly not thinking as his gaze wanders back down to my phone and he traces the spider design on it.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” I question, feeling my heart stop. Peter’s head looks up to me again, confusion written all over it. We stand in silence for a few seconds while his own words register in his brain and his eyes quickly widen in fear. He grabs my hand and drags me to the corner of the hall, caging me in.

“You can’t say anything,” he hisses and it’s the first time I’ve seen him be serious in a while.

“You’re Spider-Man?” I return in shock and he gives a grudging nod. “Who knows?”

“Just you and Ned,”

“NED KNEW?” I scream, causing the hallway to quiet and look in our direction. I flush bright red, looking over Peter’s shoulder and spotting Ned, who seems frozen in shock, clearly having figured that I knew of Peter’s identity. Instead of coming over, the boy hurries along to his first class, despite my glare burning holes in his back.

“Y/N, please!” Peter begs and I look at him.

“Peter, you could get seriously hurt,” I whisper, fear for my best friend’s life making my chest contract. 

“I’m safe, I promise. I have Mr Stark looking out for me,”

“The Stark Internship,” I realise and he nods, giving a small smile.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he says, scratching the back of his neck. I take a step towards him and hug him tight.

“It’s okay, I get it,” I mumble. Peter doesn’t reply other than by hugging me tighter.

“I was going to tell you, I promise,”

“I know,” I respond, sighing lightly into his chest and then moving away with a grin, linking our arms together. “Does this mean you can introduce me to Captain America?”

I hope this was what you wanted :) Please continue to send in your requests for fics :)

[4iammighty]

Secret Quartet: In a Flash Part 1

Why do I do this to myself? Ok so I freaking love the Secret Quartet AU by @queenofhearts7378 and I’ve had idea for a story for awhile now and here it is! 

------------------------------

Plagg woke up with some weird feeling, he didn’t know what it was but but he felt different some how. Maybe some camembert would make him feel better. 

“ADRIEN! Get up! I want some camembert!”

Plagg flew over to the bed and saw a large lump hiding underneath the covers. Adrien wasn’t really one to cover himself with so many sheets, maybe he wasn’t feeling well? 

“Adrien are you ok? You’re not sick are you? Who’s going to bring me my camembert?”

The lump moaned and slowly pushed the sheets off the bed. But to Plagg’s surprise it wasn’t Adrien.

“RANDY!?! What are you doing here? Where’s Adrien!?”

Randy jumped out of bed nonchalantly and gave Plagg a weird look. “Plagg, what are you talking about? Who’s Adrien?” 

“Adrien? Adrien Agreste!”

“Agreste? Is he a cousin I don’t know about? Did you hear that from father..... YOU DIDN”T SNEAK THROUGH THE HOUSE LOOKING FOR CHEESE AGAIN DID YOU?” Randy facepalmed revealing the craziest thing Plagg had seen all morning (and that was saying A LOT) On Randy’s hand was the cat miraculous.

Plagg was dumbfounded, he flew around Randy like a fly. 

“Plagg stop it! I’ll get you some camembert in a minute just let me get dressed!” Randy swatted at Plagg as he walked to the closet. 

“But, But!”

A female voice called out from outside the door. “Randall! You’re going to be late for school!”

“Coming, Nathalie! ” Randy shouted back as he put on his sneaker. He walked to the door and looked back at Plagg who was still trying to process all this. “Plagg, come on, I’ll get you some camembert at school.”

Plagg sighed and reluctantly got in the bag. Something was very off and only he seemed to notice! He could only imagine the trouble Adrien could be in right now.

----------------------------------

“This is the best day ever!”

“Why is that kiddo?”

“To be honest, I can’t put my finger on it. I just feel so happy for some reason.”

Adrien devoured down his breakfast with a smile as Mr. long sat next to him reading the newspaper. “Well I’m glad you’re in a chipper mode Adrien, I can see that your dragon work can be very stressful!”

Haley ran in and took a seat at the table with a big perky smile, “Well if it’s stressful Adrien I could be the American Dragon instead!”

“Even Haley’s annoying comments can’t keep me down! I just feel so.....” Adrien looked up from his plate and took a good long look at Mr.Long, Haley, and Mrs. Long. “Grateful!” 

Mrs. Long came from behind Adrien and took his plate, “Well Mr. Grateful, I think it’s time to head to school. You can’t be late again!” 

“Don’t worry mom, I’m heading out now.” Adrien got up and gave each Long a great big hug and ran out. He popped his head back in the kitchen one more time, “I love you all so much!”

As Adrien dashed outside, Haley looked to her parents, “He’s seems a little different right?”

Mr. Long looked up from his paper, “I don’t know, I think it’s nice that Adrien’s in such a happy mood this morning.”

Mrs. Long put the plates in the sink, “I wonder whats gotten into him today.”

---------------------------------

“FENTON!” 

Jake was running for his life, Dash was so going to kill him. “AWWWW MAN! Where’s a ghost when you need one!?!” 

Jake was so distracted with his Dash predicament he didn’t even notice Tucker and Sam in the hall until. 

CRASH

“Seriously Jake? You’re not only crushing my spine but I’m pretty sure you broke my PDA.”

Jake got off Tucker and offered him some help getting up. “Sorry dawg, I’m kinda on the run from Dash right now.”

Sam, who stepped out of they way before she could be crushed, couldn’t help but ask, “What did you do this time?”

“Well, I don’t have time to tell you the whole story but it involves Dash, his underwear, and a report on the history of the olympics.” Jake looked to his friends sheepishly. 

Tucker tried holding in his laugher while Sam hid her amused smirk. “Jake, why don’t you just turn invisible?”

“Oh, duh!” Jake turned invisible just in time to see Dash run pass. 

“You can run Fenton but you can’t hide!” He stopped when he saw Tucker and Sam. “You two! Where’s Fenton?”

“Who Jake?” Tucker asked with an innocent smile.

“Haven’t seen him all morning.” Sam opened up her locker and pulled out her books as if nothing happened. 

While still invisible Jake flew into Dash and had some more fun, “Hey guys! Let me tell you about the one olympic event only the Greeks had!” Jake as Dash pulled down Dash’s pants to reveal his boxers, “SWIM SUIT COMPETITION!” 

Dash’s yelling garnered a lot of attention from the other students and soon the whole student body surrounded Dash taking pictures and videos of the poor jock in his boxers. Jake left Dash’s body and soon Dash regained control of his body.

“Wh- What happened? Oh no.... it’s happening again. FENTON!” 

Dash ran down the hall with the whole student body following, when the coast was clear Jake turned visible again, “That’s about what happened about five minutes ago in Lancer’s english class.”

“Was that really necessary?”

“Well that’s what he gets for making me eat his underwear!” 

--------------------------

“Cunningham! Hurry up!” Howard had been waiting at Cummimgham’s door for 20 seconds, 20 SECONDS, he was getting impatient. 

“Wait a honking second Howard I’m coming! Nomicon’s being Wonk!”

“That’s weird...” Howard thought to himself. “That doesn’t sound like Cunningham...”

The door slammed and out came...

“Danny? What the juice are you doing here?”

Danny gave Howard a confused look. “Howard you were calling for me to get out and now your asking why I’‘m here?”

“No, I was calling for Cunningham, where is he?”

“I’m right here, Howard.”

There was an awkward silence between them for a moment, then Howard burst out laughing. “Ohoho I get it, this is some kind of joke, right? Ok where’s Randy with the camera?”

Howard expected Danny to laugh at the revelation of the prank, but he wasn’t laughing. “Who the Juice is Randy?”

Howard was getting a bit concerned now. “Randy Cunningham, My best friend, he’s the ninja!”

“Howard, I’m the ninja!” As Danny said this he pulled out the ninja mask from his pocket. “Now let’s go, if we’re late again, mom’s cutting my allowance for the rest of the month.”

Danny walked past Howard on his way to school. Howard decided to go along with this for now, he was sure that Danny was just keeping up the act, but just to be sure.. “Ok, if your Cunningham then how’d we meet?”

“Bathtub when we were 3.”

“Correct..... hmmmm Where do smoke bombs come from?”

The questions went on and on until they got school. The two walk through the front doors with Danny getting really sick and tired of Howard’s endless questioning.

“How about this, who was the-”

“HOWARD THAT’S ENOUGH!”

“Ha, so you admit you’re not Cunningham!”

“I AM CUNNINGHAM! DANNY CUNNINGHAM!”

“Hey, you two!”

The boys looked to see a girl with bright blue eyes and long, curly, ginger hair approach. “You’re going to be late to class! Get going!”

Danny nodded and started walking up the stair but Howard just gave this girl a look, “Who the juice are you?”

The ginger was taken back by this and Danny’s eyes widened with fear, he immediately dashed back to Howard and the girl. “I’m so sorry Penelope, Howard didn’t mean it. You see I think he hit his head last night or something cause he’s been acting super wonk this morning!”

Howard couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “No, you’re the wonk one Danny! Where’s Cunningham?”

“For the zillionth time, I AM CUNNINGHAM!”

“Enough!” The girl snapped at the two of them. “I’ll forgive this offense if you two leave now!”

“Yes Penelope, come on Howard!” Danny grabbed Howard’s hand and dragged him up the stairs. 

“Danny, who was the girl?”

“Are you messing with me right now Howard?”

“No I’m not! I’ve never seen that girl in my entire life!”

Danny sighed, “That was Penelope Beal, the student council president and the most popular girl in the whole honking school, how can you not know who she is?”

“Most popular girl in school? Then how come I’ve never heard of her?”

“Of course you’ve heard of her, everyone’s heard of her!”

Howard wanted so badly to fight Danny on this but he decided against it. If this was a joke then Randy would have revealed himself by now. Howard decided he’s roll with this until he could figure out what was going on around here.

----------------------

In the Hallways of Norrisville High

“This is a disaster!” The ginger girl was passing back and forth, frustrated and annoyed. 

“My powers should have altered everything perfectly! But that stupid kid still has his memories of the old reality! WHY IS THAT!”

She stayed quiet and listened carefully, green stank soon surrounded her. “Our power is unstable my child.”

A butterfly mask appeared on the girl’s face, “Yes, I’ve never dealt with anything like this.”

“Likewise, just who are you?”

“I am Hawkmoth! and you are?”

“I’m the Sorcerer! Pleasure to cause chaos with you.” 

“Hawkmoth, Sorcerer,” they girl called, “What happened? Why is there still remnant’s of the previous universe here?”

“I’ve never joined my powers with another before, but I’m please with the power it has given you.”

“Even with the sorceress I could never alter reality the way you did, but the power’s unstable.”

She clenched her fists, “Meaning?”

Hawkmoth spoke, “Meaning that your power isn’t flawless and those flaws resulted in some imperfections in this reality.”

“Others are bound to notice the changes yo- we’ve made.”

“Well then, I’ll just find every imperfection in this world.....”

The ginger’s eyes changed from blue to a dark red, “And I’ll snuff out anyone who gets in my way.”

The two men laughed with villainous pleasure and left their combined effort to her own devices, changes are coming.... and they can’t wait to watch the world burn.

------------------------------

What happened to the quartet?

Who is Penelope Beal?

Why does she have connection to the Sorcerer and Hawkmoth?

Find out in part 2

(Whenever that comes out.....)

But seriously, I had so much fun writing this and I’d love to hear the feedback for the story. If you guys have ideas, head cannons, suggestions, etc. Please send them to me, I’d love to hear them.  I’ll try to continue the story as often as I can. I hope you enjoy!

[quarra]

Ficlet Challenge Prompt

Yo. Tagging these folks because IT CONTINUES: @kat-atomic @tinybearswithjetpacks , @brooklynbetty, @mariastill    plus @colorcoated01  because they seemed interested. Also, I credit @needmorefiction  with Steve’s opinions on pants.

So, I dug up a little more time, and here is Part Two of the Sloth Prompt. This has even more crack and more pining. Also, a great deal of swearing. Poor, poor Bucky. It’s a little long, so again, it’s under the line.

After all, how bad could it be?

Turns out, pretty fucking bad.

It had only been three days and already Bucky was contemplating a life of intrigue as an internationally wanted fugitive and assassin. Because anything was starting to look good compared to dealing with Steve’s fucking lazy ass.

“Buuuuuuuuuck, the TV remote is really far away!” Steve yelled from the living room.

Bucky paused in picking up yet another pile of wrappers from the hallway to bang his head against the wall. Not too hard, because if he broke through the drywall and had to clean up after that too he really might actually shoot himself.

“What’s your fucking point, Steve?” he yelled back.

“Help!”

Steven Grant Fucking Rogers, folks. Mr. I Don’t Need Help With Anything. Mr. I Can Storm The Base All By Myself. Mr. I Can Making It On My Fucking Own.

But he needed help getting the TV remote. Because it was too far away.

Fuck the bullet to himself, Bucky was going to fucking shoot Steve.

Just as he was pulling a knife and trying to convince himself that he wouldn’t really do any damage to Steve, he’d just scare him a little, Jarvis interrupted.

“Sgt. Barnes, Mr. Wilson is on his way up. He said he’s bringing dinner.”

“Thank god,” Bucky said quietly.

Whatever twisted gnarl of mistrust and frustration he once had with Sam, it had all melted away under the stress of the past few days. The man was a damn saint, and Bucky was ready to fucking kiss him in relief every time he showed up. At this point, Bucky didn’t even care if it was only for Steve’s well being, because the sad remnants of Bucky’s sanity and temper had long since frayed away under the sheer weight of Steve’s laziness.

It didn’t seem that bad at first. So Steve would lie around. Big deal. The guy needed a break. But it turns out, Steve was willing to get up just long enough to make the largest mess possible, and then he’d collapse back into the couch or his bed.

The more charitable, patient side of Bucky thought that this might be Steve fighting off the effects of the spell. He’d muster up enough motivation to get some food, or something to drink, or another blanket. Then the spell would push back with force, and crush his will once again. But it never lasted for more than an hour and then Steve would be up wandering around again, dragging ass all over their floor.

The part of Bucky that had to deal with Steve licking whip cream off of the arm of the couch just because he was too tired to get a plate and didn’t want to get his hands covered in whip cream, that part was ready to fucking murder something.

Not to mention that stumbling across that scene had done Bucky no favors. He had been frozen solid watching Steve lick slowly at the mound of white fluff for a solid five minutes before he realized what the fuck was happening.

Luckily, rage and irritation did wonders for repressing his libido.

“Hey there, Steve,” Sam called from the other room. “How’s it goooOH MY GOD, really Steve? Really?”

Bucky took a deep breath and tried not to grind his teeth. Sam must have just walked in and seen the other thing that was driving Bucky to distraction. He steeled himself, grabbed the bag of trash he’d been collecting, and made his way into the living room.

Sam was standing with his jaw dropped and eyes wide, taking in all of Steve’s gloriously naked form on the couch.

“What?” Steve asked innocently.

Deep breaths, Bucky thought to himself. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to not think about killing Sam for taking a good long look. Then he had to remember not to take a good long look himself.

“I know you two are close friends and all, and maybe things were different back in the 40’s, but dude. Pants. Please put on some pants. Or a blanket.” By this time Sam was studiously looking at the TV, take out bags held in front of him like a ward.

“I keep trying,” Bucky said with a sigh. He walked around the couch and dragged the couch throw blanket back over Steve’s lap, confident that Steve would be too lazy to move it for at least the next fifteen minutes.

“Pants are a tool of the oppressor, Sam.” Steve looked perfectly serious. Anyone else might have been fooled, but Bucky had known Steve since he was a sneaky little bastard with light fingers. He could smell a rat.

“You’re not serious,” Sam said flatly. “Are you? I mean, yeah, clothing kinda is a way people have kept up class divides, but---”

“He’s fucking with you.” Bucky grabbed a wet wipe from the stack of them on the end table and proceeded to attempt to get the latest collection of food debris off of Steve’s mouth.

“Hey! Buck. Bucky! Stop! Buck--- I mean it!” Despite all of the protests, Steve only put up a token resistance.

“Like a fucking child, I swear to god,” Bucky grumbled as he walked off, grabbing the take out bags from Sam and setting up them at the table. “If you could wipe your own damn face you would, so until then I will whether you like it or not.” That last was said at a yell. He pointedly didn’t look at Sam, sure in the knowledge that he was probably laughing at them.

Deep breaths. This isn’t Steve’s fault. It’s the spell.

“Seriously though, Steve. Really?”

“There was this thing on youtube. Looked kinda cool, so I kept watching. And did you know that youtube has an auto play option? You just…click something and then it’ll just keep going! You don’t even have to touch anything!”

This was how Bucky had found Steve at four am last night, watching endless rounds of cat videos. That was still better than the night before, when Steve had gotten up in the middle of the night and started watching a news comedy skit. Apparently that led to five hours of news parodies.

One would think that being afflicted with Sloth meant that Steve would be sleeping the whole night through. Seems that all it really meant was that he slept on and off throughout the day, only to be restless at night. He always waited for Bucky to be asleep before he wandered off.

The first few times he did this, Bucky ignored him. Steve wouldn’t go far, probably couldn’t go far, and Bucky had needed the rest after cleaning endlessly all day. But the five hour news stint had gotten Steve so upset that now when he got up at night, Bucky got up with him. Losing a little sleep was definitely better than seeing Steve get all bent out of shape over injustice, but unable to do anything about it.

Bucky finished setting the table. He made sure to leave out a lot of extra napkins.

“Dinner time, Steve. Get your ass up if you can and get over here so we can eat.”

“Why even bother, dude?” Sam asked. “Is it really worth the effort to get him to the table?”

“YES! You tell him, Sam!” Steve said excitedly from the couch. His momentum carried him just far enough to raise a fist in celebration, but then he sank back down into the cushions.

“Have you seen him fucking eat?! I can at least put a goddamn drop cloth under the table and I am not cleaning up more sauce from the couch cushions. Especially since SOMEONE won’t move off of them for me while I’m cleaning it up! Like a fucking zoo in here, swear to god.” Bucky rubbed his hand over his eyes and debated about seeing if Stark had some super soldier aspirin somewhere.

Both Steve and Sam started chuckling, though Bucky’s glare cowed Sam into silence.

After a moment, Steve’s laughter dropped off too. A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed and then Steve asked, almost timidly. “Um…Bucky? Could you, uh. Help me to the table?” Bucky could see him grab his hair in frustration and he growled a bit. “I’m sorry. I really am. It’s just. I’m really fucking tired.”

All the anger and frustration melted away and Bucky dropped his head to stare at the floor. His heart bled a little. None of this was Steve’s fault. He couldn’t help it. Wouldn’t put Bucky through all this if he had a choice.

“Sure, pal. Anything you need.”

He went over and helped Steve up to standing, pulling an arm over his shoulder and tucking in the blanket around his waist. Steve sighed miserably. “I’m sorry, Buck. I hate this. I’m such a miserable piece of---”

“Hey,” Bucky interrupted. “None of that. This is just a bit of a rough spell. You’ll be right as rain soon enough. Now come on. Let’s get some dinner.”

Steve hung his head and nodded, and they made their way over to the table. Before they could sit down though, Steve tugged at Bucky’s shirt.

“I. Um. Could you.” He winced and heaved a big sigh.

Understanding dawned on Bucky. “Need to hit the restroom?” Steve nodded. “No problem. Let’s go do that now. But seriously, Rogers, I ain’t holding your dick for you. That’s on you.”

Steve looked up at Bucky, a sly smile on his face. “You sure, Bucky? I’d let you hold my dick any day.”

Bucky almost fucking dropped him on the ground.

What the hell.

“Wait, what?” His whole brain crashed and burned under that statement.

Sam snorted next to them. “Seriously, Steve? That’s how you wanna come out to your best friend? With that line?”

Bucky floundered, jaw agape.

“Eh. Seemed like a lot of work to keep it under wraps, you know? Lot easier just to say something.” Steve shrugged.

There were words Bucky wanted to say. Somewhere. But nothing came out. He couldn’t even fucking breath. What the fuck just happened?

“Dude. Are you actually telling me that you’re too lazy to pine?” Sam looked both appalled and impressed.

Steve just shrugged again, and then looked at Bucky. “Well?” It was said casually, but Bucky could hear the thread of fear in the statement. Could see the anxiety that couldn’t quite twist up Steve’s frame, despite its best efforts.

Bucky panicked.

He shoved Steve at Sam and was down the hall and out of the apartment in seconds. The last thing he heard before the door shut behind him was Steve say, “Well, fuck. He left before I could use the bathroom, too.”

--

To be continued...