#seriously long and personal
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[insert poetic title here]
fun fact: this did not start out as isat fanart
(rambling in tags)
#I was actually doing some personal writing and when I read it over a few days later I could only hear it in loops voice#speaking of which#i totally recommend watching ShortOneGaming's playthrough of the game#their voices for the characters match so well in my mind i can't separate them XD#also i have no clue why but this took FOREVER#I had the thumbnailing and paneling done so quickly but my motivation to finish it just left me midway through the third page T-T#Even though this is one of the shorter comics I've made (AND NO COLOUR) it somehow took my like twice as long -3-#loop is so fun to draw!#well actually fun to colour would be more accurate lol#also did you know that a keyknife was an actual thing??#I wanted to check if their was an a visual asset of it in the game only to find out they're just everyday objects you can own???#maybe im just seriously out of the loop lol#and i know the buttons are wrong but i was already mostly finished inking by the time i realized so lets just say its a stylistic choice#isat fanart#isat spoilers#sasasaap spoilers#two hats spoilers#cw body horror#??? i think#comic#artists on tumblr#fanart#digital illustration#digital art#isat#isat siffrin#isat loop#in stars and time spoilers#my art#my comic
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Thinking about that one joke in the Book of Bill that implied Bill might be the biological father of the Flynn kids. Thinking about how Linda Flynn had a secret career as a famous astrophysicist at one point. Thinking about how we don’t know exactly what Bill was doing in the 90s, and how he seems to want to skim over that part of his life, after Ford broke up with him for good but before the twins showed up in Gravity Falls.
Thinking about how Bill frequently hung out with famous musicians. Thinking about Linda, a brilliant young woman fresh off a bizarre pop star career, wanting to make a name for herself that ISN’T Lindana, might have found a new direction with an old friend (before he showed her his true colors.)
Thinking about Bill, fresh off a devastating breakup, trying again one more time to get SOMEONE on Earth to make him a portal. Trying to make the plan WORK. Trying to get a home for his friends in the face of a home dimension that was being destroyed (again). Having someone who’s COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from the man he was obsessed with, but who was no less brilliant and no less capable. (But, unfortunately for him, MUCH less gullible.)
Thinking about how Linda doesn’t want people to know about her former career as a famous astrophysicist. How she keeps this secret, even better than she did her past as Lindana. How she keeps the lid on this even TIGHTER. How she’s almost bitter about it. As if something HAPPENED.
I’m not saying Bill Cipher WAS Linda’s partner of at least five years, even going so far as to start a family with her before she saw his true colors and filed some sort of Uber-effective inter-dimensional restraining order against him, one-upping him so hard that he doesn’t even wanna think about it, but. Holy shit. Imagine
#book of bill#phineas and ferb#gravity falls#linda flynn fletcher#bill cipher#Linda Cipher AU#artists on tumblr#fanart#I know it’s a joke I KNOW IT’S A JOKE#BUT WHO AM I IF NOT THE CRACK TAKEN SERIOUSLY PERSON#ALSO THE TIMELINES MATCH UP AND THAT DRIVES ME INSANE#Also you can’t tell me Bill Cipher being Candace’s dad wouldn’t explain some things about her#also like#I wanna explore this from a perspective that gives Linda MORE agency you know?#because that’s WAY more fascinating to me than ‘’haha Bill fucked Phineas’s mom’’#Linda gets to stand with Ford and Charlene in the ‘’divorced an evil triangle man’’ corner trading stories and sipping punch#anyway uhhh I have a lot more art of this so get ready#looney mooney rants#mooneyart#looney mooney art#long post
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i lied i had like atleast one more weston thought to expell from my brain, before i miss this boat entirely. we're heading to green lands woooo
#god i had a fever this entire morning and afternoon so I think it was my inability to do anything that finally pushed me to finish this#seriously it took a month... disapointing#more disappointing is that i didn't have the time to tear up the internet in order to find what a professors break room looked like in 1899#if there was such a thing#really tragic#ah yea welp im very glad it's out there atleast. I want to release all of my black butler stuff so badly but guh...#tragedy has struck and i have been inspired to finally make a person project of my own#so that's taking a long time#but not to worry after like 5 years and some pondering i know well that black butler will always be one half of my brain#coooool#anyway i got more dorky stuff coming I hope??? wasn't lying before I am thinking of the midfords#and ill pray i can find the strength to get everything done soon#hope my rants are more tasteful after months of absence if ur still here#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#sebastian michaelis#digital art#animation#animatic#video#weston college arc#black butler anime#black butler agares
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Sneak peek of this stupid comic because maybe if I talk about it, it’ll motivate me to finish faster 😭
#kelperambles#dawg I’ve taken so long on this already that I can see the differences in my line work GRRRRR#DONT PISS ME OFF!!! /sillay#in all seriousness this comic is soooo personal to me it’s my love letter to dog man and Petey’s awesomely weird relationship#also I projected onto them a bunch so uh that explains everything#love this panel though#he’s so happy like don’t worry that’ll change 😋#crashout incoming 1….2…3….#dog man#dogman
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Faiza performing the Kagnoma Odo (pretty literally 'lion dance'), a weapons dance and one of the more important ritual duties of Odonii priestesses. A relatively new addition to this traditional dance involves the musket as the primary weapon, which is fired mid-twirl into the ground at the climax of the dance. Faiza is experiencing an 'oh fuck' moment because her shot is more than ideally diagonal, but she’s being so cool with it.
This is a wholly ceremonial performance at the onset of the pilgrimage, performed in full regalia and lion skin (of the small, semi-domesticated strain) but no armor. It’s also distinctly a display of political allegiance between the powerful and beloved Odonii priesthood (and its loyal military) with the increasingly reviled and destabilized imperial family, with Faiza prominently wearing a bracelet of the royal serpent, which was gifted (along with the musket) by the usoma Stavis Amanti himself (Usoma is the Wardi word for king, which has been retained in the context of emperors).
The Kagnoma Odo is the ultimate demonstration of the Odonii as an embodiment of the Lion Face of God and living vessel of military might and sovereignty, demonstrating her fitness and proficiency with weapons and as a spiritual unifier for soldiers. It is accompanied by drumming and occurs in stages, running through the three keymost weapons used in war- the spear, the sword, and the musket. The musket is of the most significance, given the weapon has developed a particular esteem as the ultimate embodiment of might and superiority. Assistants (almost always other priestesses, occasionally high ranking soldiers) load and prime the musket to be fired at the climax of the dance, where it is shot into the ground as the priestess leaps out of range of the shot. The firing signals the end of the dance and the rite itself.
While not the utmost exemplar of trigger discipline, only fully inducted and senior (and therefore very thoroughly trained) Odonii are permitted to perform the dance, and injuries during actual performances are quite rare (though are known to occur during training, more than a few Odonii have burns and wounds on their feet).
The most important renditions of this dance are performed upon declarations of war and before battles (in this case, generally done in full armor along with the lion pelt). It is also done during some trainings (while a dance, it is carefully choreographed to include naturalistic maneuvers of the weapons involved and helps soldiers limber up and learn to move their weapons). It is regarded as an impressive and motivating sight and a morale booster, and, seen at a distance, potentially intimidating to enemies.
A special variant of this dance is performed as means of fully incarnating the Odomache, which is done in full nudity with the body covered in the blood of the freshly sacrificed lion and cloaked in its raw pelt (the lion has become the corpse of Odomache in the moment of death, as part of its recreation of God's sacrifice). Her public, full nude appearance once (and only once) in this act is what allows the Lion Face of God to incarnate within her. Those in attendance see the spiritually vulnerable, naked human body obscured with the sanctified and deified blood and cloaked in the sanctified and deified skin. It is a merger of the contradictions of mortality and divinity, the boundaries between the two indistinct in flickering firelight and the flash of musketfire. She is witnessed by her people, dangling in between humanity and divinity and leading them in dance, and and is thus transformed.
#faiza haidamane#Not really relevant to the core post itself but I don't have anywhere to put this#Faiza is a pretty extreme cultural rarity in that she's something along the lines of agnostic (regardless of her priestesshood)#It's a culturally specific form of agnosticism where the notion that God continues to exist and interact with the world in spirit form is#questioned. She personally gets the distinct vibe that God truly and wholly died in the act of creation and is no longer present#This isn't just a Her Thing it's a concept that comes up in some strains of religious philosophy but it's pretty rare#Orthopraxy is SIGNIFICANTLY more important to the faith of the seven faced god than orthodoxy so her merely thinking this isn't#a fundamental issue as long as she performs all expected rites and behaviors and etc (which she does quite devotedly) but it would#definitely not be socially accepted to openly proclaim (least of all from a senior priestess devoted to maintaining the connection of God's#spirit to Its lands and people) and she keeps it to herself.#She is the only main character who WHOLLY doesn't expect the pilgrimage and rites to end the drought. She doesn't fully DISbelieve#either (kind of like 'well maybe?') but for her this is all a very pragmatic political maneuver to stabilize the crumbling empire and#regain the people's faith in its leadership. It's not fully cynical like it means a lot to her but in a sense of very practically protectin#her beloved empire rather than a more spiritual sentiment.#It's very complicated for her like she takes her role very seriously and cares deeply for her faith while not actually believing#in it in any personal sense. More about what it represents to her than what it's supposed to literally be.#the white calf
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do you guys think anyone remembers to put flowers on airplane’s grave…
#⚙️#who up thinking about how airplane’s family treated him again#i imagine that sy’s family never forgets the anniversary of his death. especially because one of them likely found him(probably his sister)#but how long did it take for people to find airplane’s body?#his parents stopped checking in and asking if he needed money. they wouldn’t have found him. his only friends were online too#i can imagine him laying there on the ground by the outlet until the smell of his rotting flesh disturbed the neighbors…#im sorry if that was a bit too vivid. its airplane angst hours again.#no but seriously imagine the difference between sy and sqh’s funerals.#sy’s grave is maintained constantly and his sister visits him v frequently. but airplane’s grave is so quiet.#theres some withered flowers there and his grave looks very dirty.#under his name it says ‘beloved son’ but its only there for show.#the regulars at the cemetery never knew him personally but they feel angry at the world on his behalf.#svsss#scumbag self saving system#scumbag system#shang qinghua#airplane shooting towards the sky#svsss sqh#sqh
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when i tell you i don't care if good omens s3 is 'bad', i mean it. i really do. you have no idea how large my capacity is for liking bad tv shows. like i really don't care. once i'm really attached to one that's it. i just want it to exist
of course i have things that i want to happen but if david and michael literally watched paint dry for 90 minutes i'd be like omg!!! love u guys same time next week?
#some of you lot are taking this way too seriously#i do have opinions on certain shows that went on too long or shouldn't've had reboots#but most of th e time i'm like yay i get to see the faces i love again weeee#good omens#s3#personal#ineffabildaddy
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Like with any media I get into, an AU is sure to follow, so here’s something @sleepysquib and I have been cooking up!
We wanted Haibara to live, that was it :D
Here’s a “brief” summary of his whole deal:
During August 2007, his second year at Tokyo Jujutsu High School, he went on a mission with fellow second year Nanami Kento. The mission’s level turned out to be higher than expected. Haibara received critical wounds, but was able to escape with Nanami with their lives. He was healed by Shoko’s reverse curse healing technique.
After his brush with death, he realized that he needed to be taking this more seriously. That, combined with Geto’s betrayal, led him to becoming less naive. However, he didn’t want to lose his positivity, so he focused on increasing his abilities through his emotions, eventually becoming promoted to Grade 1.
After graduation, Nanami still ran from the life of a jujutsu sorcerer, while Haibara stayed in that world. He saw his role as something akin to a superhero, and took it in stride, calling himself “Cupid” and being very public about his status. He quickly became popular and gained a fanbase, taking pictures and signing autographs for them when he has time.
Being received well by the media and being good on camera, Haibara became somewhat of a PR boy for the jujutsu sorcerers. He could make a bad situation sound less terrible through his natural charm.
Nanami and Haibara remained best friends during the time that Nanami was working as a salaryman. Eventually, Nanami learned the bakery lesson and realized his place was as a sorcerer. He returned to that life and was quickly paired with Haibara for many missions.
Haibara knows that the world isn’t the happy place he wishes, but he tries to be the change he wants to see and spreads positivity. He also does this in hopes of lessening the amount of cursed spirits created by the negative emotions of humans.
As a result of always expressing positivity, his negative emotions are naturally bottled up. He does this on purpose, stockpiling his negative emotions so he can release and harness their power if a battle becomes that dire. His last resort is to unleash his negative emotions, which increases his power greatly for a brief period of time. After this burst of power, he is left exhausted and drained and will need to recover. He is aware that he is being “toxically positive” but does so to increase his power with negativity later.
He doesn’t express joy all the time and doesn’t force himself to express it every moment of the day, but he will always express positivity in public and during battles to keep up morale and his image (although he doesn’t care about image in a narcissistic way).
He is liked by most people and others vent and confide in him. The personal sharing of their negative emotions adds to that stockpile that he can use if necessary.
Haibara tries to not express his own negative emotions to others because it will decrease that stockpile inside and he knows he needs to save that for dangerous battles. He knows it’s not healthy but he does it for the good of Japan, seeing himself as a superhero.
Much like a cursed spirit, his greater power increases when those around him have expressed negative emotions, but he doesn’t like to acknowledge the fact that he has something in common with cursed spirits.
Lives by the mottos of “With great power comes great responsibility” and “greet the world with open arms”
#doctorsiren#jujutsu kaisen#haibara yu#nanami kento#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk fanart#jjk au#will come up with an AU name later#digital art#my art#procreate#long post#he’s haibarbie and he’s ken(to)…#also yeah Haibara died the same month Miku was released so uhh only explanation is that Miku is the digital reincarnation of Haibara#I DID NOT INTEND FOR HIM TO LOOK LIKE GRIAN CUTEGUY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT#his colour scheme and outfit are also accidentally pretty similar to my design for SU Future Crystal Gem Spinel#ALSO jjk’s power stuff is so technical and so I just tried my best to make something that felt like it could fit kind of#the last drawing was a quick one I did last week between two of my classes before I made a solid design for him#his goofy ahh impractical bow 🫶💘 my little celebrity /silly#he probably knows Takada and this fact makes him a person of interest to Todo /silly#big fan of his colour palette like seriously this is something I would 10000% wear if I owned it#he’s like that meme of ‘my daughter loves him. I think he looks a little gay but whatever makes my princess happy 😊’#I also thought Nanami still needed to learn the whole bakery lesson so I still had him run away#bro probably thought Geto could be redeemed ☹️😵💫😭#he didn’t have a birthday so uh made his Valentine’s Day bc if Nanami’s can be 7/3 then I can make Haibara’s be Feb 14 😌#also yes he gave that tie to Nanami#close enough! welcome back Mumbo Jumbo and Grian!
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Imogen Temult, Exaltant Hope of the Red Storm
Heroes and Monsters by Penny & Sparrow // Critical Role Campaign 3
#thinking about the 4sd where laura was talking about how all the hells titles are good but imogens sounds like it has a double meaning#that shes the storm's hope rather than just the intended a hope that comes from the storm.#and all of imogens 'i am the storm' esque responses#something something what does it mean to turn away from the storm when the storm is inextricable from who you are on both a psychological#and metaphysical level. how do you turn away from your fate when its already in your veins#imogen answers: you don't! you take it into you. and i think that's fun!#me holding imogen's arc in my hands so I can look away from the context it exists in: this is wonderful#critical role#imogen temult#cr3#bell's hells#predathos#liliana temult#also god. i really miss fcg and imogen. not only was fcg the only witness to a lot of imogen's most significant moments of internal conflic#he was also often the only one that could successfully get her to elaborate on vague claims she would make about how she feels about#the moon and the storm and their fight and all her fear and her willingness to be scared and still do the Right thing even if it risks her#life. and I remember how much fcg's presence was often imogen's impetutus to take seriously that the gods matter to people. because imogen#was the first and often the loudest one to insist fcg had a soul. but it wasn't until the magic of the everlight through pike and their#realization of a meaning through the changebringer that fcg really began to value themself. and she saw how much the gods really could be#this powerful and good force in a person's life beyond just granting them magic. and it led to her often pushing back against (thought ofte#in over delicate and tentative ways) ashton's claims against the gods. but fcg is gone and he died for the hells. and imogen doesn't have#that ever present reminder amongst the storm that the choices she makes will echo out farther than the people she cares about.#also just. they were besties 2 me. they bullied each other but also put the most effort into both challenging and understanding each other.#actually. now thinking about it. fcg and imogen had maybe the most illustrative dynamic of what bh could've been and failed to be. alas ala#cr spoilers#my post#long post#web weaving#web weave#cr edit
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what started as a Joke has metamorphosed into Lore
#kibble scribbles#beastieball#long post#the galaxy surfers#troglum#radillo#i've been doodling this over several days and you can see axel gradually drift off model#some trivia for tag readers! buddy is really flippant about his old name because i was trying to play into his Carefree vibe#but axel takes his discomfort very seriously#i’m leaving it up for personal interpretation but i’m treating it like it’s his dead name#hence why it’s scratched out and illegible#(i never actually came up with his dead name; under the scribbles it’s random letters)
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ppl equating gihun's importance to inho to that of junho's is gonna be my super villain origin story lmao. like it's not even comparable folks, i'm literally BEGGING YOU to take off the shipping goggles for a second.
#hwang inho#hwang junho#hwang bros#squid game#personal#i literally can't take you all seriously anymore good god!#anti 457#< not really but like... you all... pls#at this point i'm genuinely hoping s3 kills this ship dead#bc you all have stopped being reasonable long ago#& it's not fun anymore
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“Ew you like Lestat”
LISTEN YOU WATCHER OF TELEVISION. I’ve been waiting for what feels like a century for this blond fuck to prance around a stage in bad makeup and slutty clothes.
If you try to bully me for this I swear to ERIC BOGOSIAN I will spoil the entire series for you 😂
#🤺🤺🤺 BACK I SAY BACK!!!#Eric felt more powerful than god in this moment#but seriously jokes aside I swear if I see one more person be rude to Lestat girlies who’ve waited very long for a good adaptation ….#I’ll take this whole site down with me lol#interview with the vampire#the vampire chronicles#iwtv#vampire chronicles#lestat de lioncourt#anne rice#iwtv amc
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Ian Gallagher Being His Own Person, and Why That's Controversial
A meta about Ian's story during his time away from Mickey, and the hate his character receives for it. Inspired by @dazzle02 :)
How many times have you heard somebody say that they skipped season 8 of Shameless because Mickey wasn't in it? How many times have you heard somebody say that season 7 is only good during Mickey's episodes, or that the story is boring without Mickey in it, or that Ian's S6-8 arc was boring without Mickey? How many times have you heard somebody proclaim that Ian wasn't a good partner to Mickey?
Mickey is undeniably THE fan favorite character of the show, and with that comes a tendency for fans to defend him tooth and nail, even when he is in the wrong, and refuse to see any other points of view. Characters who go against Mickey in any way receive a harsh amount of criticism that sometimes is not fully justified. This applies even to Mickey's main connection to the story: Ian.
During season 5 and onward, some fans hold Ian's actions against him very harshly when I feel he deserves a bit more empathy. Of these, there are three main things people criticize his character for during seasons 5, 6, and 7 that I feel are not given proper analysis and thought by fandom.
Disclaimer before we get in because people feel very passionately about these two: Every interpretation of a character is entirely unique to each individual viewer, and these are just my opinions. This is in no way an anti-Mickey post, so as you read, keep in mind that any criticism toward him is not meant to make him out to be a bad character. Don't bite me.
Season Five: The Breakup of All Time
I think a large part of why people get so upset with Ian for the breakup is because of the growth Mickey experienced in seasons 4-5 leading up to it.
Mickey in seasons 1-3 is in extreme denial of being gay, and when he grows feelings for Ian, he lashes out and treats Ian like shit. Seeing Mickey's slow growth starting in season 3 brought interest to his character, and in season 4 with his major growth during his coming out, he becomes very compelling to a viewer. After all the angst that it took to get Mickey to finally open up, there's a natural desire to see that positive growth and relationship development continue. When Ian throws a wrench in that by breaking up with Mickey in season 5, people get upset, and they're going to direct that toward Ian because he is the easiest to blame.
There's the sentiment of, "Mickey came out for Ian, took care of Ian, and supported Ian when he needed him most despite his faults. Why is Ian leaving Mickey in the dust when he now needs him most?"
This is honestly not an unreasonable thing to feel when looking at things from Mickey's perspective.
But, when you take a look at Ian's character, and you really think of his motivations in that moment, his decision to break up is actually very understandable. Ian didn't break up with Mickey because he thinks Mickey is a bad partner or because he doesn't love Mickey enough. He broke up with Mickey because he thought that's what was best FOR Mickey.
I think comparing the breakup to their fight over marriage in season 10 to be an effective way to understand Ian better.
In season 10:
"How do you know you love me? Huh? How do you really know? I'm bipolar, right? I don't know who I am from one day to the next, and I can't guarantee shit. So why do you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?"
- Ian to Mickey, S10E9
Compare this to this conversation during the breakup:
"You used to love me. Now you don't even know who I am. Shit, I don't know who I am half the time... You don't owe me anything."
"I love you."
"The Hell does that even mean?"
- Ian and Mickey, S5E12
I feel that Ian's mindset is pretty similar in these two moments. In season 5, he is still grappling with his diagnosis, and he has no frame of reference of how a healthy life with bipolar can look. Everybody has been comparing him to Monica, and he himself seems to oscillate between thinking he is like her and not like her, so in his mind, he has nothing to offer anymore.
Then, in season 10, in his mind he proved himself right. He tried to get his shit in order, lived happily and found peace with his diagnosis, and then he fucked it up. He had an episode, and he lost everything he fought so hard to have. He has practically ruined his life because he DID what he FEARED he would:
"I hate the meds. You gonna make me take 'em?"
"You get fucking nuts when you don't."
"Are you gonna want to be with me even if I don't?"
- Ian and Mickey, S5E12
That conversation isn't Ian saying he isn't going to take his meds, given how in season six, he IS taking his meds. I interpret his above statement to be a warning to Mickey. Because Monica has tried to get on her meds before, has tried to get better, and has failed many times. IAN has gone off his meds willingly twice now. This is him telling Mickey, straightforward, "I do not like the meds, and there will always be a risk of me deciding not to take them."
And in seasons 8-9, he does exactly that. He goes off his meds, and he destroys everything he built for himself. That's part of the reason why he hesitates to marry Mickey in season 10, and part of the reason he breaks up with Mickey in season 5.
Ian views himself and his disorder to be a burden on the people he loves. He believes that Mickey will be better off without him.
"I don't want you sitting around, worrying, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit."
- Ian to Mickey, S5E12
Because Mickey HAS been doing that. Ever since he was diagnosed, Mickey has been watching Ian like a hawk, acting like a nurse, which frustrates Ian.
"Fuckin' nurse now?"
[...]
"I'm sick of your whiny, pussy crap. I don't need a fucking caretaker, alright? I need the shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of Southside trash I fell for. Where is he? The fuck is he, Mickey?"
- Ian to Mickey, S5E10
But, of course, Mickey doesn't see it that way. To Mickey, Ian is anything but a burden he wants to unload.
"It means we take care of each other. [...] It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit."
- Mickey to Ian, S5E12.
Mickey would do anything for Ian. He confronted his worst fear by coming out, stayed with Ian even after the infidelity, defended Ian after he kidnapped his son, and tried his best to understand a mental illness he had no prior knowledge about. Yet, Ian still won't commit to him. After everything, he still isn't good enough.
"I'm not saying never!"
"No, you're just saying you don't love me enough now."
- Ian and Mickey, S10E9
And Ian, meanwhile, thinks that HE isn't good enough for MICKEY. He has been diagnosed with a lifelong condition, one that he has seen ruin lives firsthand, something that will be a part of him for the rest of his life, and he doesn't wanna tie Mickey down to that life.
It's all one massive miscommunication.
Finally, I think the part that is the most confusing to fans regarding Ian's mindset during the breakup stems from his moments with Monica in S5E11 and S5E12.
Specifically, the parallels between these two conversations.
"Ian, there's always gonna be people that are gonna try and fix us. And you can never make those people happy. Like it breaks their heart just to look at you."
"Yeah, um, even Mickey now."
"He's your boyfriend, right? [...] I'm sure he means well, but you need to be with people who accept you for who you are. And they're out there. You should never apologize for being you."
- Monica and Ian, S5E11.
Vs.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Too much! Too much is wrong with me. That's the problem, isn't it? Too much is wrong with me, and you can't do anything about that. You can't change it. You can't fix me, 'cause I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed, okay? I'm me!"
- Ian and Mickey, S5E12.
Monica's interpretation of the relationship seems to paint Mickey in a negative light. "He means well, but he doesn't get it," or something along those lines. Based on her previous experiences with the diagnosis, she has come to the conclusion that people like Mickey or Fiona, who try to get them to take medication and are saddened by the diagnosis, are being controlling, and do not love them for who they really are. That's why she always went back to Frank; he actively tried to get her to NOT take her meds or get better, and did not encourage her when she DID try to get better. So, to her, being off her meds IS the TRUE version of herself, and the people who can not accept that do not accept her.
But I think, while Ian's lines parallel Monica's, that he does not think the same way that she does.
Toward the end of season 5, Ian seems to do a complete 180 from his previous statements on his similarities with Monica.
"You flushed your pills? You get thats a full-on Monica move, right?"
"I'm not Monica."
- Ian and Fiona, S5E8
Vs.
" [...] Cause they all say how alike we are."
"That's probably not a compliment."
"Uh... No, I think it is."
- Ian and Monica, S5E11
This happens in the wake of his arrest, after Ian's siblings talk about him to the military police. Many of their comments seem to hit Ian in a way that makes him feel misunderstood or like a burden.
Debbie: But he's been acting crazier for longer than that.
Lip: Yeah, at least this past year.
Officer: How would you characterize his behavior?
Debbie: Compared to how he used to be... He's different.
Lip: He'll go back and forth from, you know, being depressed, to, you know, incredibly wound up. I mean, he ran off with a baby for no reason.
Debbie: He almost hit me in the head with a baseball bat.
Fiona: Our mother was bipolar, so we know what it looks like. She put us through Hell, and- I'm not saying you put us through Hell, but when they're manic they can be destructive.
Officer: In your opinion, does he require medication?
Fiona: Yes.
Officer: Is he unable to care for himself?
Fiona: Sometimes, yes.
So, when Ian talks to Monica when they reconnect, Ian expresses loneliness and a feeling of isolation.
"I'm really glad you came, yknow? I just... I needed someone to talk to who... gets it."
- Ian to Monica, S5E11
When Monica tells Ian to not be ashamed and that she loves him for him, she is kind of acting like his Frank. The meds have been taking a toll, and recovery is so difficult that running with her and getting validation from the only other person who could "get it" is an easy choice to make. I think the combined factors of Mickey treating him so delicately, his siblings laying out his flaws so plainly, and his mother's open acceptance creates a feeling of bitterness or shame, and Ian is hoping to find comfort in his mother.
But it doesn't go the way he expects it to.
At the diner, he thinks that Monica is going to prostitute herself for money, and is relieved when she doesn't. It's likely he was thinking of his own stint at the Fairytale in this moment.
Then, he recalls a moment from his childhood that he does not look upon fondly, only for Monica to refer to it as "good times."
He meets Monica's partner and discovers he is an aggressive teenage meth dealer that she is helping to sell the meth.
I think Ian has a true moment of clarity during this. He had thought that he was vindicated, that everybody else was wrong, that they didn't understand, that Monica was right, and that he was perfectly fine just the way he was. But then he sees what Monica considers to be "a happy life."
"Ian, I'm finally happy. People like us, we can be happy. I love him, and that's the most important thing, to find somebody to love, right? Who loves you back for who you are. I want that for you. I love you. We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."
- Monica to Ian, S5E12.
Monica's perception of life is warped. What she considers a good life is living in a trailer selling meth. Good memories are traumatic memories for those around her. True love and support is an aggressive teenage dealer, or Frank Gallagher.
A simple drive to Ian was a horrifying kidnapping to Svetlana. Doing a porn that was no big deal to Ian was a betrayal of trust to Mickey. Joining Monica and ignoring the calls of his well-meaning but ignorant family to Ian was a painful and worrisome disappearance to them. Ian's perception HAS been warped, and he's crashing back to reality, realizing that he has run off with MONICA, realizing that he can't continue down the same path as her, and needs to go home.
He's come to accept that he is bipolar. He's internalized what his family has kept repeating, that he is just like Monica, and looking at her living like this, believing that she is living well, is terrifying to him.
So he goes home, believing that he is just like his mother, and he's doomed to be a piece of shit. He goes back, and he breaks up with Mickey. Because he doesn't think that people like him can be happy, and he doesn't think he'll be okay. And that isn't something that Mickey can change. Too much is wrong with him, and Mickey can't do anything about it.
Really, it's just a matter of Ian operating under the "if you love them, let them go" mindset, and Mickey interpreting it as a rejection. It's the two of them both believing they are not good enough for the other and internalizing it instead of properly communicating.
TL;DR: Ian's breakup with Mickey in S5E12 is not done in a healthy OR selfish mindset. To him, he will do nothing but drag Mickey down, and in his unmedicated and clearly altered state of mind, he thinks the best thing is to let him go.
Season Six: Dating Caleb and Other Blasphemy
The first time we see Mickey in season six, it's behind a pane of glass in an orange jumpsuit.
Mickey had tried to murder Sammi, Ian's half-sister, and had been sentenced to prison for 15 years. It's established that Ian has not been to visit Mickey much and is trying to move on past that time in his life. But, upon being bribed by Svetlana, Ian visits, and during this visit Mickey asks Ian a question:
"You gonna wait for me?" - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.
And when Ian shows hesitation:
"Fuckin' lie if you have to, man, eight years is a long time." - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.
So, Ian replies:
"Yeah. Yeah, Mick, I'll wait." - Ian to Mickey, S6E1.
Before even meeting Caleb, fans absolutely tear into Ian for his decision to not commit to Mickey in this moment. They call it selfish, or out of character, or unfair to ice Mickey out when he is going through this difficult time.
But, let's look at it from Ian's position.
Ian has dealt with abandonment issues his entire life, with both Monica and Frank being unstable and infrequent providers during his adolescence. Throughout his relationship with Mickey, they had been separated on three separate occasions, one of which was entirely voluntary on Mickey's part. Now, due to committing a major crime, Mickey has been sent away for up to fifteen years. They would both be in their thirties by the time Mickey would be released, or close to it if he got out early, and that's not even considering that he was actively taking part in jobs / activities that could extend his sentence, like stabbing people.
Ian has dealt with recurring disappointment and abandonment his entire life, and throughout their time together, Mickey hasn't really established himself as stable.
Now, before you bring out the pitchforks;
"But Mickey was there for Ian and supported him through seasons 4-5. He grew as a person and proved he IS reliable."
Yes, that's true. He did undergo massive development that allowed him to be a better partner and more reliable person to Ian. But, canonically that period of time only takes place over a few months.
Mickey, for the better part of 2-3 years, was NOT a good partner to Ian. Multiple years of an unsteady situationship is not so easily forgotten. Yes, Mickey 1000% had valid reasons for acting the way he did. It's made very clear in S3E6 and S4E11 why Mickey hides his sexuality and lashes out when forced to confront it. But that isn't an excuse. His reasons for acting in a negative way towards Ian the first three seasons is understandable, but he went about it in a bad way.
Not to mention that, despite his growth, Mickey has just been sent to PRISON. No matter how you spin it, his decision to go after Sammi was NOT justified and does not necessarily bring forth confidence in his reliability and stability.
It's not unreasonable for Ian to not want to wait for over a decade for a man who has not always been the best for him. It sucks as a viewer who is invested in them, but Ian was not in the wrong.
Beyond (justifiably) selfish reasons, Ian also already thought that he was bad for Mickey, was worried that he would ruin his life, and with Mickey's justification for his torture attempt being that he did it FOR Ian, that Sammi had it coming because of what she did TO Ian, Ian probably felt responsible for that as well. There was probably a level of guilt in Ian from the whole situation, both for Mickey being in prison and for leaving him there.
But from his point of view, it's better for everybody to try and move on.
What really bothers me about this criticism toward Ian is the sense that he OWED Mickey his time and loyalty. Because Mickey had given and sacrificed so much for Ian during seasons 4-5, it's like people think Ian is then obligated to return that for Mickey, no matter what Mickey did. It's a very transactional way to view the situation, and it just leaves me with an icky taste in my mouth. Nobody owes anybody anything in that situation. Ian does not owe Mickey companionship, and Mickey did not owe Ian support when he got put in prison in season 9. Returning to Ian was Mickey's decision to make, and not a decision Ian was obligated to make in season 6.
Now, onto the actual "dating other people" part of the conversation.
For months, Ian has done nothing but get his meds on track while working at Patsy's, then at the janitors job on Lip's campus. During this time, Ian expresses having a very low sense of self-worth.
"He as smart as you?"
"No."
"Yeah, he's smart."
"Lip is the genuis of the family."
"So that gives you an excuse for not finishing [high school]? You seem plenty smart, and Dav's uniform doesn't really suit you."
- Ian, Lip, and Professor Youens, S6E3
And:
"This is it for me, Lip. This job. This is where I land."
- Ian to Lip, S6E3
Which Lip comments on in a very concise way:
"Yknow, he thinks... Being bipolar means he's doomed to be a piece of shit like our mother."
- Lip about Ian, S6E3
Ian feels no sense of purpose during these months. He feels he has no worth and that he is doomed to work a dead-end job and have no happiness. He thinks he is just like Monica.
That only changes when he witnesses an accident on the highway, and he saves a woman's life by pulling her out of a burning car.
This leads us to Caleb.
Now I'll admit, this is where I take issue with the storytelling, because this would've been a PERFECT way to segue into Ian's EMT arc, but regardless of what I personally think would've been better, the way it plays out in canon does actually still make sense for Ian's character.
After saving the woman from the burning car, Ian collapses due to smoke inhalation and exhaustion. A firefighter on the scene provides Ian with oxygen, thus saving his life. Ian immediately fixates on this particular firefighter.
Now, Ian has a very complicated relationship with feeling his emotions post his diagnosis. In season five, when he is numbed by his meds, the only way for him to feel again is through pain, via self-harm or starting physical fights, and sex. In fact, sex plays a major part in many aspects of Ian's life.
From the age of fifteen, Ian had been consistently subject to sexual abuse. He's been used for his body by countless men throughout his teenage years and has been oftentimes reduced merely to his sexuality and what he can provide to his partner. Even Mickey, in season 2, tells Ian as such in a panicked rage.
"You think we're boyfriend and girlfriend here? You're nothing but a warm mouth to me."
- Mickey to Ian, S2E8.
(No, I'm not saying Mickey sexually abused Ian. But he did contribute to the way we see Ian default so heavily to objectifying and sexualizing himself.)
So, due to this recurring trauma, Ian has a tendency to default to sex as the primary way of getting satisfaction, be it emotional or physical.
So, when Ian gets a rush of adrenaline from the crash, after months of that numbness, he chases the emotions in the most effective way he knows how.
Ian goes to the firehouse with cookies to give as thanks to the firefighter who saved him, but with a clear ulterior motive of getting laid. When he finds out that the particular firefighter (who happens to be part of the "gay shift" which is an odd writing choice) he saw on the highway is married, Ian meets Caleb. In this scene, they speak all of one line to each other when Caleb invites Ian to a firehouse softball game. The next time we see them on screen together, Ian acts very flirtatious toward Caleb, which sets forth their relationship.
"You ever pitch?"
"... Usually, but I'm open depending on what you're into. Where we doing this?"
"Follow me."
[...]
"Wait, we're actually playing softball?"
- Ian and Caleb, S6E5
I think Ian receives hate for this simply because he's expressing interest in a guy that isn't Mickey. Fans get the impression that Ian is moving on too fast or that his interest in Caleb is sudden or rushed. However, I think the rushed nature actually works to show Ian's intentions. In this moment, Ian is not really looking for a full-on relationship. Given how little they interacted thus far, the fact that Caleb wasn't even who Ian was originally interested in, and how Ian's comments consistently err on the side of sexual, its safe to say Ian was just looking for a hookup. In fact, it's Caleb who pushes so hard FOR the relationship.
Mickey, in a deleted scene, hooks up with an inmate right after talking with Ian. If Ian's relationship with Caleb had only been a fling or hookup, I don't think Ian would've been as heavily criticized. As it is, fans get upset at this relationship because it IS a relationship. They go on dates, Ian starts staying with Caleb, and really they seem to be very domestic.
But I don't think Ian was as dedicated to the relationship with Caleb as fans make him out to be.
From the jump, Ian seems uncomfortable with the quick-moving pace of it. At first he only seems interested in sex with Caleb, but upon the negative reaction that provokes, Ian conceded to going on a date with Caleb (which is a bit of a slap in the face to Mickey fans after Gallavich's ruined date.)
"[...] I was hoping to get my hands on your hose."
"Is that what this is to you? A fuck?"
"You say it like it's a bad thing. Come on, let's get out of here."
"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."
"Fuck. Okay. Okay. Hey, I'm into you, alright? I thought you were into me."
"I am."
"Then what's the problem?"
"I don't stick my dick in just any guy."
"What do you want, then?"
"Seriously? Do I have to spell it out for you?"
"Yeah."
"A date."
"With, like, flowers and chocolate and shit?"
"No, we could skip the flowers."
"Okay. You're on."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E5
(Side note, pulling a "is that all this is to you" after two non-romantic interactions is not just quick in terms of hookup culture, which Ian is more attuned to, but is quick in any terms. More on that later.)
During this date, Ian is visibly very uncomfortable. Some would chalk this up to him having never been on a date before, and the writing even seems to imply that,
"Okay, look, I have no idea what I'm doing. My last boyfriend wasn't much of a talker, his idea of a conversation was to insult me a bunch and then punch me right before we banged."
- Ian to Caleb, S6E6
but that's actually not true, DESPITE the writers forgetting that.
"You know, Mickey and I never went out on dates. Ned never took me out, Kash and I fucked in the back of a convenience store, and I don't think jerking off strangers in a nightclub counts, so..."
- Ian to Lip, S6E6.
He actually HAD gone out on a "date" with Ned in season three, where he was visibly less uncomfortable than on his date with Caleb. He also went to many loft parties during his time dancing at the club, wherein he blended in very well and was able to sorta chameleon himself with the northside crowd. I think the show wants us to believe his discomfort is from him "never having been on a date before" or being unfamiliar with a "slower" pace, but I think his discomfort actually would stem from him just genuinely not being interested in Caleb in a romantic way, and thus feeling awkward on a date that's in a more romantic setting (compared to his one with Ned, which was undoubtedly more sexual.)
I also think his discomfort stems from being completely out of his element. Ian has taken a massive hit to his confidence since his diagnosis, so his Southside roots bring about a bit more hesitancy in him than it might have before, and he may be less confident in his ability to chameleon. That's why, during the date, Ian shows discomfort with Caleb when he shows more "class" than Ian.
"Usually, I get a bunch of apps to share. You good with that?"
"[Uncertain hum] ... Appetizers! Sure, yeah, big- big fan of apps."
[...]
"You seem like a very pensive kinda guy. You an only child?"
"Uh, no."
"Brothers and sisters?"
"A bunch, yeah."
"Older or younger?"
"Both."
"What about your parents? Both still alive?"
"... Yeah."
"... Fantastic. I'm learning so much."
[...]
"Where I'm from, people communicate with their fists."
"Where's that?"
"Southside."
"Mmm. Hands of steel. Okay, so you're a street rat. A brawler."
"Is that a problem?"
"Only if you make it one."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.
Then, beyond their first date, we have the actual relationship to dive into.
Throughout his scenes with Caleb, Ian seems to oscillate between neutrality, discomfort, or mild enjoyment in the situations he finds himself in.
There's this interaction, for example, where Ian lets Caleb take charge in defining their relationship:
"So what are we doing?"
"Whatever you want, I guess."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E7.
Or this moment:
"What are you smiling at?"
"I like having you over here. What are you smiling at?"
"I like having a purpose."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.
Or when Caleb invites Ian out with his friends, and we see Ian slip into his chameleon persona, mirroring the petty mannerisms of the most vocal participant of the conversation, as well as avoiding diving too much into his personal history.
"You haven't told me which one is your ex."
"Guess."
"Old guy, pink sweater."
"How'd you know?"
"Ooh, a redhead, Caleb? Does his carpet match his drapes?"
"You're a good sport."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.
[...]
"If we had known you were bringing a middle school student, Caleb, we wouldn't have come to a place that cards."
"Oh, no, it's cool, I don't drink. I hear it makes your skin old and leathery."
"That's-that's how we're playing this?"
"Hey, you threw down first."
"Where you from, kid?"
"Back of the Yards."
"Local boy. What's your story?"
"Story?"
"Who you are, what you do, how did you meet this chocolate bundt cake?"
"Met him at the firehouse."
- Ian and Gregory, S6E8
[...]
"We like this one, Caleb. Don't we, Gregory?"
"I mean, If young, beautiful, and kind of a smartass is something to like, sure, fine, I guess we do."
- Caleb's friends about Ian, S6E8.
OR, in a deleted scene where Caleb expresses frustration at Ian keeping the distance between him and Ian's family, as well as Ian's lack of communication, while Ian seems unbothered or even perplexed by Caleb's frustration.
"So, where'd you sleep last night?"
"Home. Got done at three, told you I'd be late."
"Yeah, like nighttime late, not next day late."
"Well, I didn't wanna wake you, and I had to go back there to grab some stuff: clothes, towels..."
"Where's there?"
"Home, you mean?"
"Yeah."
"Back of the Yards."
"Right. You did mention that once. I still don't know where it is or who I'd call if there was an emergency?"
"Uh... my brother, I guess? Or my sister."
"Brother or sister. Okay. I'll just track down Ian Gallagher's brother or sister on the internet."
"I'll... put their numbers in your phone."
"Great."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E11 deleted scene.
OR any of the follwing:
When they go to get Ian tested for STDs, he is visibly uncomfortable having Caleb in the room with him.
He is only comfortable revealing his bipolar disorder if it is done in exchange for another secret from Caleb.
He isn't very comfortable sharing his past, only references his previous relationship in a lighthearted manner, and he only reveals his sexual history upon feeling pressured to do so, which he purposefully presents in a callous way.
To me, the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship reads as Ian's desperation for validation through sex, which leads to him putting up with a relationship he isn't entirely comfortable in or commited to or ready for. To me, it seems like he's truly just looking for companionship in any way he can get it.
Out of everything, though, I think what really gets to fans most about this storyline is the constant comparison of Caleb to Mickey as a means of demonizing Mickey.
Throughout the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship, there is a constant comparison between the two relationships, seemingly with the intent of painting Mickey as a horrible partner.
When Ian tells Lip about his upcoming date with Caleb, he remarks that he never went on dates with Mickey, which comes off as an unnecessary jab.
During his date with Caleb, Ian talks about his lack of effective communication skills, which reflects negatively on Mickey, to the point Caleb brings forward the idea of domestic abuse.
During the wedding that Ian attends with Caleb, Ian mentions Mickey's marriage to Svetlana, and he uses a tone that comes off as belittling the situation and how difficult it was for Mickey.
There's this line, when Caleb asks Ian to kiss for the first time:
"Can I kiss you?"
"I thought kissing comes after you've had sex a bunch of times."
"Ian, kissing comes whenever you want it to. Even now."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.
Then, there's Mandy stating that Caleb was better than Mickey.
"A hot black fireman. Also an artist."
"Upgrade from my brother."
"I miss Mickey, but uh... This new guy's nice."
- Ian and Mandy, S6E9
These near constant comparisons to Mickey are frustrating to fans, because it can often feel like Ian, or even just the writers and the narrative, are trying to belittle Mickey's character and reduce him to a one-note toxic ex, which completely spits in the face of the development that he went through. THAT is what is most frustrating to fans.
Because it's true that Mickey was not always the best partner. In real life, Mickey would be a walking red flag, and Gallavich would be undeniably toxic. But that applies to EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in Shameless. That is the entire point of the show. None of them are particularly good people. They all do shitty things, but they all have compelling reasons for doing it. That's why we can look at these characters and feel connected to them instead of just absolutely hating them.
It's a really odd writing choice for a show that focuses on morally gray characters, or the idea that nobody in the show is really a good person, to decide to play moral high ground in this particular instance, and have Ian suddenly turn his nose up at Mickey's behaviors.
But is this really how Ian feels?
Because, as established, Ian is VERY good at playing chameleon. He is good at shaping himself into whatever a partner wants him to be. He mirrors his partners mannerisms, beliefs, and attitudes.
And Caleb, for all that the story wants to make us believe he's better than Mickey, is actually not the best partner either. Not just for cheating on Ian in season seven and then gaslighting Ian about it; he shows some toxic behaviors in season six as well, including being lowkey judgmental about Ian's Southside roots.
Take, for example, Caleb implying that the Southside is trash, but that he can see the beauty in Ian despite being from the Southside:
"That's my latest. I love to find the treasure inside the trash. Trying to find the secret life in things. What it wants to be instead of what it is."
"Is that what you're doing with me?"
"Good question. Can I kiss you?"
- Ian and Caleb, S6E6
(Which, funnily enough, this line from Caleb goes pretty against the sentiment that Monica had in season five, of Ian finding somebody who loves Ian for who he already is, as Mickey did.)
Or, for another example, Caleb judging Ian pretty heavily during the softball game for being "not grown-up." Simply because Ian expresses sexual interest in him above romantic.
"Cmon, let's get out of here."
"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E5.
Which, as I pointed out before, is really strange behavior. Participating in hookup culture isn't something that Ian needs to be shamed over. There's a sentiment of "Hooking up is beneath me, it's immature," to Caleb's tone, which is unfair. Now, he has reasons for this, that being his experience with getting HIV from a hookup who lied to him, which draws a pretty interesting parallel to Ian.
"Don't worry, guy I did the scene with said he was clean."
"He didn't use a rubber? Are you out of your fucking mind?"
- Ian and Mickey, S5E5.
Vs.
"Guy in college. He lied to me."
- Caleb to Ian, S6E8.
(Which I actually find to be a very interesting plot point and is actually a pretty good scene.)
So, while Caleb was not wrong to put forth a boundary by not hooking up, he was wrong for acting as if IAN was the problem in the situation. Not to mention, his behavior at the game is very strange when taken into account how little they've interacted thus far. He had understandable reasons for his negative reaction, but he went about it the wrong way. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?
Anyways, I could talk about the relationship between Ian and Caleb more, but that's not what the point of this is.
The point I'm trying to make is that Caleb, however covertly, expresses a negative or biased view toward the Southside lifestyle. And Ian, being the type to mimic his partners, follows along in that.
Ian already fears that he is going to be left. He is afraid that showing Caleb who he really is and not being the idealized version of himself will lead to Caleb breaking up with him.
"I'm enjoying it while it lasts."
"You think he'll dump you?"
"Well, I've told him I'm bipolar, and my family's screwed up, and he took it pretty well. But it's one thing to hear it and another to live it, so... We shall see."
- Ian and Mandy, S6E9
So, he chameleons. He makes himself the treasure in the trash. He distances himself from the image of a brooding, Southside street rat.
Because, after so long of constant pain and numbness during and post his diagnosis, Caleb is the first good thing he's found.
"I haven't been this happy in a long time."
- Ian to Caleb, S6E8.
And really, everything that I just talked about doesn't matter when you think about it that way.
No matter how dedicated or invested Ian was in his relationship with Caleb, it still provided him with companionship and validation, which as we know, is something that Ian has an unhealthy dependence on to find self-worth.
And I don't think Ian was wrong in searching for that connection simply because that connection wasn't with Mickey. He could've been well and truly in love with Caleb, and he wouldn't deserve some of the hate he receives for his canon actions.
It's easy to look at Ian's relationship with Caleb and get frustrated because of all the time that was put into Ian and Mickey's relationship. But beyond the instinctual negative feeling that comes with seeing Ian with anybody other than Mickey, his relationships outside of Mickey deserve to be analyzed and observed for what they actually do for HIS character, and not just immediately cast aside as unnecessary or ooc.
So, to summarize:
Firstly, Ian wasn't selfish for not waiting 15 years for somebody in prison. Whether he was serious about Caleb or not, Ian was under no obligation to dedicate himself to Mickey. Ian did not owe Mickey anything simply because Mickey was there for Ian when shit got tough. If they had been together, sure, Ian would've been a lot shittier for leaving Mickey alone. But as it was, they were broken up, and even if they hadn't been, Ian would've had every right to not want to continue seeing Mickey after his decision to harm Sammi, just as Lip was justified in not wanting to be with Mandy anymore after she ran over Karen.
Secondly, Ian dating Caleb wasn't bad for his character. In fact, I think their relationship in season six was actually a very interesting way to progress Ian's character and get more insight into his mind and how he operates.
Thirdly, Ian and Caleb's relationship deserves to be analyzed for what it is, rather than what it isn't. Just because Ian is not with Mickey doesn't mean that he doesn't undergo some huge development in this season, both in and outside his relationship with Caleb. Furthermore, Ian entering a new relationship gives us the opportunity to see more sides of his character, and as such the relationship should be analyzed as it's own separate entity, and not just as a hurdle in the way of Gallavich.
Fourth, Ian was not just waiting to cast Mickey aside to jump on the next dick possible. I've seen this criticism before, and when looking at his actual arc at the beginning of S6 and analyzing his general character, that's just simply not true. Entering a new relationship is not equal to immediately disregarding Mickey.
TL;DR: The hate Ian gets from this season mainly stems from "Ian date somebody aside from Mickey, bad Ian" without any further thought behind why he enters the relationship and what the relationship actually means to him. There is no separation in the minds of fans between Ian and Mickey, and therefore, Ian having experiences and an identity outside of Mickey is negatively perceived.
Season Seven: Putting His Own Wellbeing First
This one will be less long winded than the previous one, because I have less to say on it, honestly.
During the entirety of Ian's bipolar arc, it is pretty clearly shown that to maintain mental wellness, Ian needs stability.
When Mickey shows up and asks Ian to run away with him to Mexico, that's threatening to uproot every amount of stability Ian has managed to secure the past two seasons of the show.
I honestly don't see as much hate directed toward Ian for his decision to leave Mickey at the border as I see for his previous decisions. I'd say the main thing I actually see directed toward this season is just that Ian's story is boring without Mickey in it. Mostly because he enters another new relationship with Trevor after his relationship with Caleb, which really just follows the cyclical Shameless cycle of, "Don't know what to do with a character? Give them a new love interest!" But because I talked about the judgement for non-Gallavich Ian relationships above, I don't particularly feel like doing a deep dive into the Ian and Trevor relationship in this meta.
What I want to talk about relates to the Mickey Mexico storyline, though, and that's the hate other characters recieve for trying to dissuade Ian from going.
After finding out that Mickey escaped from prison, Fiona and Ian have the following conversation:
"What are you doing up?"
"Couldn't sleep. You ever, uh, think about about what would've happened if you'd run off with Jimmy-Steve?"
"Lying sociopath Jimmy-Steve? My life would be a nonstop psycho-thriller. I definitely dodged a bullet with that one."
"What if nothing ever gives you that same thrill again? Still feel like you dodged a bullet?"
"I don't know. Probably. Where's this coming from?"
"Things have been weird between me and Trevor since Mickey got out."
"You mean since Mickey busted out of prison and has got half the Chicago Police Department circling the Southside looking for him."
"Can't get him out of my head. Just trying to stop myself from doing something I shouldn't."
"You turned your life around. Mickey would set a match to it. You've done really great without him, and I'm really fucking proud of you."
- Ian and Fiona, S7E10.
I've seen this conversation criticized many times because of how "unfairly" Mickey is treated in this scene. But I truly think that nothing said in this scene was wrong, and Fiona was 100% right.
In the past, Fiona has definitely shown a prejudice against the Milkovich family before. Specifically with Mandy, Fiona seems to look down upon her and disapproves of the relationship between her and Lip. This on its own is unfair treatment and is annoying to witness.
But in this particular case, absolutely nothing she is saying is wrong or biased simply because Mickey is a Milkovich.
People take the line, "Mickey would set a match to it," and compare it to his behavior in late Season 4 through season 5, where Mickey is taking care of Ian, and say that Fiona is being untruthful or hypocritical. If Mickey had never been sent to prison, or even if he had just been released legally, and Ian was simply thinking about cheating on Trevor and getting back with Mickey instead of running away with him, then the criticism toward Fiona would be more justified. But as it is, Mickey is a wanted fugitive, and Ian running away with him would make Ian a fugitive as well, and WOULD effectively set a match to the life Ian had spent the past two seasons working toward. He would be giving up a career he worked hard for and fought to have, he'd be living in stressful conditions on the run, he'd have no support system, and he would have less ease of access to his medication. Running with Mickey would have been the wrong decision for Ian's wellbeing, and honestly, Mickey should never have asked Ian to go with him.
I think that many people have rose colored glasses on when it comes to Gallavich, specifically with Mickey, and that makes it harder to view these moments unbiased. But, looking at it objectively, Mickey was so wrong for asking Ian to come with him to Mexico. He KNOWS that Ian needs stability with his bipolar diagnosis, and he KNOWS that this would be a stressful life he'd be forcing Ian into.
Simply put, he's acting selfishly in that moment. Having your own interests in mind is not always a bad thing, but in this specific case, Mickey would have thrown a huge wrench into Ian's life is Ian hadn't made decisions in HIS best interest.
Again, I have less to say on this as I did other subjects, because to me it feels much more cut and dry. Mickey was in the wrong here 100%, Fiona was not being wrongfully judgmental toward Mickey, and Ian was not in the wrong for not going with Mickey.
After so long of seeing them apart, it makes sense to want to see them together again. So when Ian, again, is the one making the decision to end their relationship, fans are going to lash out at him and those around him.
But it's important to put aside biases and allow your favorite character to be in the wrong occasionally. Mickey is not perfect, and criticism against him, both from characters in the show and fans, is not unfounded nor unjustified.
TL;DR: Mickey was wrong for asking Ian to uproot his life and run to Mexico, and calling that out isn't defamation of his character.
To End This Yap Session:
Ian is by no means a faultless character, and he is not exempt from criticism both inside and outside of his relationship with Mickey. However, I often feel that the criticism he faces is for the wrong reasons, and not much contemplation or exploration is done on him as much as it is for Mickey.
I love Mickey. He's an amazingly complex character, and his relationship with Ian is one of my favorite parts of the show. But in being a complex character, he is also an imperfect character.
I feel that many fans get very protective over their favorite characters, to the point that anything that goes against that character's interests is labeled as bad, and any criticism toward his character is disregarded immediately.
In this particular case of Gallavich, I feel that post season three, fans often see things from Mickey's point of view without looking at Ian's as much. This meta was simply to give my own thoughts on Ian's most "controversial" moments among fans. Obviously this is mostly condensed to season six and his relationship with Caleb, which I feel is the biggest example of jumping to conclusions and only seeing the surface level of his character.
However, I would like to acknowledge that Ian is also an insanely popular character in the Shameless fandom. While he is misunderstood in many instances, he is given much more sympathy and understanding than many other characters in the show, especially many of the female characters. This long-winded meta is only focused on the concerning tendency for fans to link Ian's identity to Mickey entirely without allowing him to be an individual, but a majority of the time he is still a beloved character who is treated favorably by fans. Compared to a character like Debbie, Ian sees much more support, and I feel that the energy I put toward this meta and trying to understand Ian should also be applied to (almost) EVERY character in the show.
Anyways feel free to leave thoughts.
#shameless#shameless meta#ian gallagher#mickey milkovich#monica gallagher#shameless caleb#shameless trevor#gallavich#does any of this really matter? no probably not cause at the end of the day its a silly tv show#but i find it personally interesting to think about so i made a long ass meta about it#but its seriously not that deep so fandom discussion is great#but if the stans take my post to twitter and grill me like my dbh meta i will get gen mad lol#also sorry to the ppl who follow me for dbh ive def fallen off that hyperfixation at this point in time#this could've been cleaned up a bit but ive had this in my drafts for like 3 weeks or more so
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forever thinking about how the long quiet embracing their full divinity involves The Voices coming back. like yeah being plural is basically the same thing as being a godi'll cosign that
#in all seriousness though#its fascinates me that the Shifting Mound's ascension was her folding all the Vessels back into herself#she refers to the things that happened in their routes as having happened to her#and uses the singular first person at all times#whereas the Quiet and the Voices all maintain separate agency and perspectives#even after their ascension they speak in plurals about themselves; “we're the house now” etc.#they recognize their actions as collective “why did *we* throw the knife out the window” etc.#but still trace them to separate origins “it was his idea”#i know i read EVERYTHING as plural but i cant help but take a plural lens on this#in which case its fascianting that the Shifting Mound's ascension is facilitated by integration#while the Long Quiet's is in some senses a fragmentation#and viewing the Shifting Mound's awakening as integration adds some fascinating wrinkles#like the Adversary and the Eye of the Needle explicitly RESISTING it#woops i wrote all the serious analysis in the tags again#the long quiet#the shifting mound#stp voices#slay the princess#stp spoilers#slay the princess spoilers
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here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.
#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later#i still might make something else later#enough art for now#i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure#it's smack in the middle of end semester exams#ink blot#avatar fanart#avatar the last airbender#atla#artists on tumblr#fanart#avatar aang#why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff.#can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art?#anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable.#I have more control over stuff and i love the result#so#i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done#and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so#yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee!#if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw#not healthy at all
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What can I say? They're my favorite.
#twdg#twdg clouis#clouis#twdg clementine#twdg louis#sometimes they creep back into my mind and i'm like 'ah yes' like a crow admiring a pretty stone they found years ago and kept#also thank you pi for the screenshots. i used to have a whole folder full of them but that was when i was doing themed nights#the source for these is me i just have a random document full of dynamics and ship things i enjoy because.....i dunno i like keeping track#and so many of them apply to clouis but there's also an overlap of with clouis and rose/alistair [my warden from origins and alistair] like#alistair's romance route is like an evolved matured and extended version of clouis sksksks gee i wonder if i have a type#look you present me with a character who deflects with humor and isn't taken seriously by the rest of the group and the longer you know the#the more you realize how high they've built a wall around themselves and how *unwell* they really are and how they're not as sunshine#as they present themselves and also they avoid leadership and responsibility until they grow closer with someone who pushes them#and they end stronger and more balanced as a person while finding the affection they've craved#and also there's the daddy issues#present me with that character as a romantic option and i'm in no questions asked okay i don't want the mean broody one that's meh to me#i want the one that has every reason to be broody but chooses not to be because they have a completely different defense mechanism#and a warped sense of themselves and self-esteem issues they leave unaddressed until forced to face them#i'm just saying i'm aware that i have a type i'm always going to gravitate toward clouis nearly checks all the boxes#also the lack of clouis these days? my crops are thirsty and i have too many ongoing projects to do anything about it other than this sksks#so until i make time to finish my long ass louis/clouis analysis this is the best i can provide for now
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