#seriously it makes me wanna cry
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Really is just horrible how masculinity is beaten into boys in both outright physical harm or subtle, insidious disapproval. I can promise you that nearly every trans woman you know has countless stories about how she was told, either outright or through implication, that her interests were deviant and impermissible, that boys didn't act that way, and that she needed to repress who she was. Any fragment of femininity gets punished, destroying the trans girl's ability to confide in the people around her. She lives in terror of showing her true self, before she even knows what that true self is, because over and over she is told that what she's hiding is perverse.
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#sleep token#sleep#vessel#sleep token ii#sleep token iii#sleep token iv#i’m actually crying#id jump the fuck over that table and suck his dick on the spot#his smile#his smile makes me want to lay dead bodies at his feet#makes you wanna kick a fat kid at kmart#but seriously hes my babygirl and id give him the world#and suck it from the back
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Can we talk about how Barry's worst nightmare was being unable to save Wally and losing his humanity
BRUH THATS WHAT I'M SAYING
I'm fucking unhinged over this. Like genuinely. Best thing to come out of that event like hands down. That was such a Dad™ moment. A certified Dad™ event.
#bruh like seriously how am i even supposed to function in daily life knowing that Barry's worst fear is failing to save wally#and losing his humanity and harming wally#like GENUINELY#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK#the MOST TRAUMATIC THING TO THIS GUY IS FAILING HIS SON. THATS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO HIM#and thats just#... beyond beautiful to me#because genuinely this man has been through hell and back so this isn't his worst nightmare out of lack of imagination#or naivety#his son is just THAT important to him#makes me wanna cry
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Guess who has a neat little anxious reaction to Mondays? It’s been years I’ve left school or any kind of regular working schedule but I still feel like I’m going to throw up with anxiety each night before a Monday. Fuck me
#seriously though#i wanna cry#i feel so bad for no reason and it makes me feel even worse and it’s just a horrible anxiety loop#personal post#anxiety
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I log on to witness the biggest milestone I never thought I would ever receive in my lifetime, and I do not know what to say ...I feel as if I'm standing on stage at the Grammys having to say thank you to Beyonce 😭🩷
But anyway, first thing first ...thank you to Beyonce..(I love the joke Okay) and most importantly, thank you to all of you who have sticked around this far to witness all the mental brainrot I have done on this blog...I genuinely never believed I would actually make it to 1K after having this blog for 2 years ..I was wholeheartedly planning on sticking to just reblogs with my annoying commentary but yet again ..that wasn't always the plan ..as even back then I wasn't even planning on posting anything at all? And just be an empty blog that looks like a spam account - but I guess stuff changes and even now? With this?
I do not know what to do ...like inbox open for requests from either community I guess? 😭🩷 ...but I promise yall imma give a drabble smut later today I'm feeling a little bit of Konig ...maybe even Satoru too ✨️
#nah seriously why was beyonce in those diddy parties? ...weeirddd#anywho thank you again my beloveds#you give me joy in a way i never thought I will ever receive#it makes me lowkey wanna cry#consui says sum#consui sees
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me: i’m gonna make sure i remember to take my meds properly
my doctors office: actually we’re gonna just… not refill that for a while. yeah, you can call all you want. we’ll say we’re working on it and then not do it. enjoy the withdrawals, bitch
#crying#no seriously i’m so mad#i FINALLY started feeling better after remembering to take my meds#and now i’m out of them and my dr is a piece of poo#i’m now on day three of no mood stabilizers:)#i’ll admit tho that between this one and my antidepressant#the withdrawal from the antidepressant is MUCH WORSE#like i get intensely sick when i don���t take it#this one is just making me tingly and on edge and not sleeping well#i can’t focus for the life of me#i just wanna lay in bed :(#fuck the us healthcare system#why you gotta be that way#just give me the pills i’ve been taking for the better part of a DECADE why do we go through this like every three fucking months#it’s just never easy with this shit#sorry about the rambles
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god i seriously wanna go on t and just get my deep voice and body hair and t dick like i seriously cannot take this anymore i want it so bad
#axol rambles 🌸#can someone come and just stab me full of t already please#autoandrophilia#boy hypno#forced masculinization#seriously how is force masc so gender affirming it makes me wanna cry
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Love tattoos, I think I just love the idea of fucking a man who nobody would expect to be fucked, big ol guy with tattoos and maybe a little beard, all grumbly and stoic, a little bit intimidating. I love the dynamic of this guy who nobody would expect to love being dominated or fucked being an absolute fucking whore for it. It makes me feel a little special to be able to be one of the only people to see them like that.
#femdxm#hnnnngh#god men with TATTOOS#sleeves really get me going#or BACK TATTOOS#makes me wanna#bark#hahahahahahahaha#seriously#wanna fuck a big boy#and I mean like lumberjack big#like a little bit of pudge#big strong man#big strong arms#👹#some angsty mountain man#I could fix him#with my strap#I just wanna make burly pretty men cry#then give them some kisses after#😚😚😚
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Murder trio
i actually cried seeing this in my inbox i will not lie. like actually fucking cried tears of joy /srs absolutely no words can express just how absolutely thralled i am that you drew this. i'm actually ACTUALLY so so overjoyed and flattered and so happy that someone could manage to encapsulate just how much i love the jk!trio and just how silly they are and how you put your own spin on this and made them just as cute and silly and amazing as i've always wanted to see I'M ACTUALLY CRYING THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DRAWING THE JK!MTT 😭😭😭
im so sorry for the late answer i have literally had no time to draw but TYSM FOR THIS I DREW MORE JK AU 4 YOU TO THANK YOU❤️❤️💜💜💙💙 ‼️‼️
they just got out of an extreme gaming session at the boardwalk arcade and now the suns setting and killer wants to get ice cream before it sets so they can watch the sunset but as usual she's a bit too excited for horror and dust to keep up and dust is absolutely dying (she gets ZERO excercise and killer is FAST) and horror just wants to take her time and also spare dust from killer's wrathful running speed. its ok though they manage to eat the icecream while watching the sunset even while slowed down (the vibes in this one are immaculate this is what jk fashion au stands for. silly fluffy important friendship bonding memories. i love. it's not full effort because i wanted to get this done quickly so i wouldnt respond late but im UNFORTUNATELY busy and now its been a day,,,,, I STILL LOVE THE ART YOU SENT ME THANM YKJ SO MUCH)
#nobody understands just how much i love this#NOBODY DOES. NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU. NONE.#this means so much to me i actually cant even explain#i NEVER expected that someone would ACTUALLY DRAW JK FASHION MTT. I NEVER DID#I JUST MADR JK AU BECAUSE I WAS FEELING LONELY AND BORED AND I LIKED THE CONCEPT#AND SOMEONE COMES OUT HERE AND MAKES ART OF SOMETHING I DIDN'T EVEN PUT THAT MUCH EFFORT INTO#IM ACTUALLY OVERJOYED I CANT BELIEVE THIS#i love art i love expression i love experiencing joy from the kindness of others#i don't even cry that much but this legitimately made me cry. like seriously#and theyre so cute and theyre so happy and sweet and amazing#and the rendering on this is absolutely fucking gorgeous#and i love how horror looks cute but she's giving dirty looks and all that#and killer is JUST SO HAPPY AND GO LUCKY AND STUPID I LOVE HER#DUST MY ANTISOCIAL BABY SHE LOOKS SO EMBARRASSED TO BE HERE#THIS IS SOOOO CUTE I CSNT HELP IM CDRYING IM DYING#how long did this take. i need to know. i can't believe you actually made art of my cheap concept and it looks so good#god now i need to draw more jk!mtt. just knowing that there's someone out there that likes the au so much makes me wanna create#goddamn ink and his joy of creating. he's cheering me on in my head right now#THIS IS LITERALLY THEM. THE MUTED COLOR PALETTES LOOK SO GOOD FOR THE FIRST 2#AND THEN THE BRIGHT PASTEL THIRS ONE??? ITS EXACTLY THE KIND OF GIRLY PASTEL CUTE I LOVE WITH THEM#unrelated but when i saw this in my inbox and it was censored i was expecting to see gore or something. not THIS. christmas came early#i had to whip up a thank you response quick and fast because this is the biggest mkst flattering thing ever. how can i not be thankful#how much art will it take to repay you for your time and effort. i will keep making jk au art until its been repaid#i really wanna use this as my pfp but i dont wanna not credit you so can i pls use it for my pfp.....???? will credit!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PL#maybe i'll just redraw one of these and use it as my pfp instead if that's ok. i need to change my pfp anyways#ITS STOLEN ART AND I CANT FFIND THR OG ARTIST AND ITS BOTHERING ME I SHOULD CHANG IT#i get all giddy and happy and giggly when i see this it means so much to me. this is the best thing thats happened in ever#tricule asks#tricule art#jk fashion au
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I can excuse gory murders, but I draw a line at selfishly lying to your patient/"friend"
Y'all ship these two? Smh...
#in all seriousness tho I didn't expect this to be such a big issue for me#I can't often say I dislike a character for an in-show reason#don't get me wrong I still think hannibal's an intriguing character and I highly enjoy watching him#what he does is supposed to make the audience feel this way while keeping them curious and in a way charmed with him#like that's the point of this joke XD#but this is now the first thing that comes to my mind when I see lecter with will and it makes me genuinely mad#and I love it#ALSO I SHOULD PROBABLY MENTION THAT I'M STILL WATCHING S1 AND KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE STORY#I'm curious to see how it develops and why exactly hannibal's lying to graham#cuz I just feel so bad for will it makes me wanna cry whenever we see him struggle with this disease T^T#hannibal#hannibal lecter#will graham#hannigram#mine
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:|
#seriously the like. not having money and not having a therapist and not having a job and feeling terrible unpredictably#and not having friends or family here and not having any reason to leave the house. and being so reliant on weed to function bc it's#the only medication i have access to for my pain and depression/anxiety that works#has made my tolerance SO high (i had 300mg earlier and it's barely anything. i'm still in bed in pain)#is getting so so so expensive. it makes me so scared. when i go without it it's essentially the same as being unmedicated#i wish health care moved any bit faster. and i wish i had a psychiatrist bc my pcp doesn't wanna prescribe more than zoloft#and it's helpful at keeping me from crying all the time but it doesn't give me any other benefit really so i just feel :x always#i feel like time is pressing down on me like a bug being stepped on and i don't have anywhere to run#and i feel frustrated because im being held in place by pain/illness/fatigue/etc that i'm struggling so hard to get help for#but no one can see any of the things that are holding me here. so they get mad at me and frustrated that i'm struggling so much#idk what to do. i feel like i'm going to alienate everyone i depend on because i can't contribute and can't get answers for them#ahhhhh i wish i had chronically ill friends lol i'm just so lonely all the time i feel less than human TBH
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I deserve to sleep in and spend my days baking and cooking and reading and painting and shopping
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begging someone to hold a gun to my head so my brain will finally make me do my dishes, laundry, vacuuming, job applications, emails, messages,, just to get anything done at all without constantly wanting to die
#executive dysfunction is a fucking hellscape and I want out I want out I wantoutoutout#fuck my liiifee#seriously the threat of imminent immediate danger is the only way I can do fucking anything#executive dysfunction#the kind that makes me wanna BANG MY HEAD INTO THE NEAREST HARD SURFACE UNTIL I CANT SEE ANYMORE#death sounds preferable !!!!!!!!!#all those bullshit articles written by nt ppl like ‘MAKE A LIST!!1!1 BREAK DOWN UR TASKS!!!1!’#THANKS BRENDA BUT ID RATHER PLUCK MY EYELASHES OUT ONE BY ONE#I literally gave my coworker $100 in cash the other day and said#’if I don’t have that report for u by tomorrow you get to KEEP THE $100.’#because I COULD NOT DO IT OTHERWISE ID BEEN RIPPING MY HAIR OUT FOR WEEKS OVER THAT ONE THING#if u have exec dysfunction and have any tips for me other than putting myself in danger like - pls help ohmygod#legit a cry for help I don’t know what anyone would do but like#god damn a button that lets someone shock me remotely if I don’t do the shit i’m#supposed to do#I ACTUALLY NEED THAT IT WOULD SAVE MY LIFE HHAA#tw mental health#tw suicidality#adhd#tw implied suicidal tendencies#vent#personal
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Alright fellas I deleted all my posts about the Matter (tm) because I don't want it to be adressed anymore or having people dig up into my blog. I genuinely want my blog to be a safe and positive place, and it was starting to bring me a lot of uncomfort and unnecessary stress. Especially when I keep receiving anon asks of people assuming or making me say things I haven't said. I don't want to try to justify or explain myself more and more only to have the feeling I'm digging my grave deeper.
So, I would like to say some last things:
- I'm sincerely sorry if I said anything that was harmful. I was trying to point out that some people were trying to treat queer couples like a straight couple by using trans headcanon as a justification. It did not, and never meant that everyone who have a trans headcanon on a character is doing this, and even less that I will see everyone with these headcanons as doing it. I wish for accurate representation and respect.
- I am genuinely confused whereas I'm being in the wrong or the right. I seriously mean no harm, and sincerely believe I'm thinking the right thing. So if I said something wrong, please adress it to me, without assumption or hate. I'm willing to listen to everyone's opinion and change my views. But please, I'd rather bring this up in DMs, if I'm wrong, I don't want to say shit and fuck up publicly, I hope you understand.
- I am welcome to every trans headcanon, even if I don't share it, because I believe everyone can see a character the way they wish. It doesn't matter the reason behind, as long as it's not to fetishize the character, which is wrong. Trans people are just like any other humans, with feelings and rights. That they are characters do not mean you can treat them as objects. It will make many, myself included, insulted and uncomfortable.
In conclusion, do whatever the hell you want to do as long as it's not harmful or sharing misinformation. Don't let a random on internet (me) tell you how to live your life. I seriously couldn't care less. Life's short, be crazy, go feral, I don't know, peace and love on planet earth, just treat others equally. except transphobes, you can always punch a transphobe in the face, it's never morally wrong
#i would like to add i have serious struggles to express myself#because english is not my first language + autism#so i know very well i can say things that will be interpreted wrong#i wish i knew how to not but things are like that#not to justify myself from being wrong#but explaining why i can say things like that#I'm very and seriously willing to learn#anyway pls no more anon asks assuming shit up it makes me wanna cry#also please never call someone a transphobe for being ignorant/struggle to understand something.
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🌷🕸️
#i've been thinking about this quite a lot on and off for a while#but to try to process it more i just wanna try to vent:#my sexuality is very messy. even inside my head. so scary. so complicated...?? so just thoughts of it are scary#and like there has only ever been one person who like just thinking about sex with has felt like good#not scary or terrifying. not with all of my avpd symptoms woven in (like one is that idk if i could ever have sex w someone#like actually be with them and be able to look them in the eyes and then also keep talking to them afterwards and not just run away and#never see them again. that's just one thing and this isnt abt that so anyway#like yeah just thinking about sex w him feel ok. safe and comfortable. and enjoyable and like i can and want it#which is smth like... with my other crushes before i've fantasized abt having sex w them but it felt bad and scary ://#and like i didnt actually want sex w them...#and with this person that isnt there. it's scary in a way since like im not experienced at all and idk how it feels irl 💀#but not in the way i usually feel abt it!!!!#so this just in my head#plus the fact that like talking and expressing some of my thoughts TO him ... felt good and safe and comfortable#is actually such a gift from him.... and i'll always treasure this (one of many things haha ^^)#bc he made me experience this and that i can feel good and ok and safe about it#i do feel sad that when this was current i was so cautious and shy bc it was so new to me#i was feeling smth real and genuine emotionally w him and i wasnt just saying stuff ... if that makes sense lmao#hmmm... yeah i've never felt good abt it before that w him. so it was so so new. and i couldnt quite get used to it fast#now im getting messy in my thoughts again sksksk#i just feel like this meant so much to me to just have had it#and idk im just so happy to know that these feelings are possible for me .. and i feel thankful for him that he gave me this not so little#thing/feeling/experience#now... the thing is... he is the only one i've felt all of the things with. like attraction/safe/comfortable/taken seriously etc etc.... so#umm what do i do now? 💀#ig either way im glad i know that this exists for me and that im not incapable of it. even if my avpd makes me feel that way#ok.. skurr skurr?#but yeah sexuality is so fkn scary for me idk it just gets too much i wanna cry T-T
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i want to re-read one of the most painful tear-jerking pillow throwing bathroom screaming terumob au fic i have bookmarked but i Know that im not mentally prepared to reread it
its the sword of damocles
#that fic#destroyed me#so damn hard#it made me excuse myself from the living room to cry in the bathroom#please#god#its so good#and so gut wrenching#i was surprised to see it orphaned though i couldnt find the user#im probably gonna bind it as a book so i can take it to school#sighs and opens word /hj#but fr this fic is so good but id recommend to read tags and take them very seriously it actually destroyed me#terumob#mp100#mob psycho 100#from the amt of fics and books i wanna bind i should probably open commissions#but like#only to the ppl in my school#bc i dont know how to ship things out and it scares me frfr#but the sword of damocles🤩🤩makes me cry🤩and i wanna bring it to school and i cry in class🤩💅
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