#sentient viruses

[rjalker]

Alba and the nameless protag

Alba's a demon / virus who takes the form of a white cat made out of smoke, visible only to her host. Her species requires hosts to reproduce, though I'm not sure what the next step of that cycle is yet. It should be something absurd and unlikely.

The infected host is only contagious when the demon / virus is at full maturity and ready to release little babies into the environment.

Until maturity, they go through cycles of dormancy and growth, with intense pain at the start of each cycles they spread through their hosts' cells and mutate them.

They don't kill their hosts if they can help it, because that'd just be a good way to go extinct.

[ID: A scribbled, black and white MS Paint drawing showing a bald person in a sleeveless tunic holding out one arm straight away from them, frowning, asking,with an annoyed expression, "Can u not?" On the top of the person's outstretched arm is a cat made of smoke, represented by curly lines, smiling with sharp teeth and saying, "No", with a large heart next to the dialogue. End ID.]

I need a name for the species...

Edit: now named Fumoformis malcattus. Called smoke cats in general.

Feel free to use this idea.

[astramachina]

Seven Sentence Sunday ✨

because I haven't participated in any tag games in a WHILE i'm so sorry @the-golden-comet (x; congrats AGAIN on wrapping up YWIMC's first draft!!!) just hit me with a tag and i'm feeling it today. here's a couple of sentences (def more than seven) from Anomalous Behavior, a short fic i recently picked up again and have no idea as to when i'll finish it.

Workplace rumors are often untrue, except for when they aren’t, a line that becomes obvious once evidence is presented in the form of either verbal confirmation or photographic evidence. This is one such case however, where neither form has much credibility.

The grapevine was as quick as it was rich, but each new nugget of information was as insane as the last.

What do you mean someone got trapped in the headset?

What do you mean Jeremy sliced his face off with a guillotine paper cutter?

What do you mean that one girl went fucking postal and threw her desk chair through the office window and chased Marnie down with a piece of glass?

But one by one, all those people fell off. Restrictions multiplied. New NDAs rolled out. There was something in the office, in the testing rooms, in the servers. There was something in the VR headset, and it was somehow worse than the alleged coverup his dev team was hired to bury.

+ open tag for anyone who'd like to share!

[magicalgirlmascot]

KNPS Hagah headcanon: Iruini would get pedantic and complain about the others describing possessed animals as having "Makuta's infection" or "The Makuta virus" since in biological terms it's neither of those things. So they shortened it to "The Cooties" and there's nothing he can do to stop them.

ghsflgkhjgdsf

Iruini got so fed up with arguing about it that he literally grabbed a possessed animal, got Kualus to help him take samples from it, and then ran a bunch of tests to show that even while possessed it didn't test positive for literally anything. Norik tries to explain that when they call it "the virus" or "the infection" they know that's not literally what it is, they just use it for shorthand. Iruini fires back with "find a different shorthand then."

Bomonga is the one who suggests Cooties. Iruini hates that even more so of course they all start using that one immediately.

[hellafluff]

fucking insane to me that the naruto world has computers and cell phones.

i know a lot of this is new to Boruto but like. idk my brain wont make peace with the fact that these are the same setting. it kinda makes me wish they had just jumped the gun and done like 100 year time skip and focused on the great grandkids of the characters in a sci-fi/cyberpunk/shadowrun kinda setting

i think the mix of ninja arts and tech could work really well but i also want shit like robot arms and how cybernetics could effect chakra and jutsu and stuff

[no-13s-alt-account]

I LOOK MORE LIKE A GIRLKISSWR THAN USUAL \ ^W^ /

[sameboot]

Various robots/spaceships/spaceship iterations inside drone bodies/sentient viruses

[good-chimes]

[HOTGUY!] HAS ONE NEW MAIL

Users with permissions to this shared mailbox:

Bdubs (role: Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes, Actor). Last login: Today.

Cub (role: Hotguy PR Agent). Last login: Today.

Scar (role: IT’S ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ONE AND ONLY!). Last login: 215 days ago.

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: are you there?

is this hotguy’s email? i thought you were coming on patrol?

Why do you NEVER ANSWER YOUR PHONE

-cg

 ------------------------------------

To: Cub, Hotguy PR Agent

From: Bdubs

Subject: The VALUES AND PRINCIPLES of Scar Goodtimes Acting Enterprises

Dear Cub (if that’s your real name),

Now that you’ve been working for Scar for several weeks, I realized I never sent you any AGENCY INTRODUCTION documents. That’s okay! None of us are perfect, despite what you might feel when you look at me.

For your ENJOYMENT and EDUCATION, here are:

The Founding Principles of Scar Goodtimes Acting Enterprises

1.   Bdubs is Scar’s favorite employee.

1a.   Bdubs is also Hotguy’s favorite employee DESPITE the fact he does not technically work for Hotguy, and no upstart new PR agent is going to change that.

2.   Hotguy’s identity is a secret. You must never reveal that we both work for the same person. Take it to your grave if you have to.  

3.   However, if you see someone talking shit online about Hotguy or Scar you should immediately defend his honor. I often do this and you can see the results in the shared folder admin\arguments_bdubs_has_won. You might not be as good as me at winning debates on the internet—don’t worry!! I can give you tips.

4.   Here at the agency, we have the HIGHEST STANDARDS in responding to emails from the public. I noticed there are SEVERAL HUNDRED UNANSWERED EMAILS sent to Hotguy’s addresses that redirect to our shared mailbox. Scar is a very busy man! It is YOUR JOB to clear these out.

5.   We are open and helpful with everyone. Except hostile journalists. And the TCG. And the tax authorities. And anyone who might want Scar to do anything unreasonable like ‘be on time for something’. Keep this in mind as you go through the inbox.

All The Best!!!

Bdubs

P.S. I have noticed that admin\important_documents is now full of files called ‘virus1.exe’ ‘virus2 (gov encryption).exe’ ‘virus3 (might be sentient).exe’ etc. Explain this!?

 ------------------------------------

To: Bdubs, Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes

From: Cub

Subject: RE: The VALUES AND PRINCIPLES of Scar Goodtimes Acting Enterprises

Yeah man cool this all sounds great

Scar seems to have a few email addresses that feed into here. i’ve sent replies according to which one the public emailed:

hotguy@hotguy.com — i replied to some of these but then i kinda got bored and started sending links to cool space facts instead. People will appreciate these i’m sure.

EMAIL_HOTGUY!!@hotguy.com — sent everyone a bulk reply of “Thank you for EMAILING_HOTGUY!! Hotguy loves you!”

FAN_LETTERS_THIS_WAY@hotguy.com — sent everyone a photo of Scar in his Hotguy costume

I_NEED_HOTGUY_NOW!@hotguy.com — sent everyone a photo of Scar in his Hotguy costume minus the shirt

super.cool.arrow.giveaway.for.fans@hotguy.com — sent everyone who gave their address some trick arrows. Only some of them will explode.

law.enforcement.collaboration@hotguy.com — redirected this one to spam

boring.tax.stuff@scargoodtimes.com — also redirected this one to spam. replying to the IRS just encourages them.

inbox zero, my friend. we’re ready for the next concerned citizen to write to us. Let’s go.

Cheers,

Cub

P.S. don’t worry about the viruses. Just a hobby. they’re in \important_documents because I needed a folder that scar never clicks on.

 ------------------------------------

To: Cub, Hotguy PR Agent

From: Bdubs

Subject: Re: The VALUES AND PRINCIPLES of Scar Goodtimes Acting Enterprises

Dear Cub,

Interesting. INTERESTING.

Don’t think you’re going to work your way into Scar’s affections with CLEVER VIRUSES and SHIRTLESS PICS OF HIMSELF. I see your game.

I’ve been Scar’s agent for years and I think when things heat up you might find this job too hot to handle.

All the Best!!!!

Bdubs

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: TCG Special Officer <vigilante.oversight@tcg.gov>

Subject: OFFICIAL REVIEW NOTIFICATION

Dear Hotguy (civilian identity unknown),

We are currently undertaking a review of your recent vigilante activities as ‘Hotguy’.

Vigilantes (‘heroes’) are encouraged to protect citizens and cooperate with the TCG. For this we require vigilantes to regularly communicate with their TCG liaisons, attend emergencies on request, and support law enforcement operations.

None of our emails to <law.enforcement.collaboration@hotguy.com> have been answered—I was going to say ‘in some time’, but I checked our file on you, and it turns out the right word is ‘ever’. You have never answered an email from the TCG. I am sure you can see why this is an issue.

We do admittedly have some difficulty getting vigilantes to ever listen to us, but this is a new low in obstructionism.

We have requested your assistance in investigating thefts from two biotech laboratories, vandalism at a local redstone supplies shop, and multiple call-outs to security incidents at Mumbocorp. You have completely ignored all of these requests. We note you have instead caused widespread chaos, disrupted several TCG operations, and at one point impersonated the Mayor in order to trick ‘Doctor M’ into purchasing a non-existent bridge. 

May I remind you that vigilante activity is only legal insofar as we decline to prosecute heroes for property damage. Kindly reach out to our liaison department immediately so we can work together on collaborative action under the direction of the correct authorities.

On behalf of Head Agent V. Berger,

Special Officer #49

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: are you there?

who is answering hotguy’s emails and why have you sent me a list of top supernovas! this is NOT HELPFUL

 ------------------------------------

To: TCG Special Officer <vigilante.oversight@tcg.gov>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: OFFICIAL REVIEW NOTIFICATION

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for reaching out about the availability of Hotguy. Hotguy is unable to respond himself because he is rescuing kittens from tragically falling into rivers, an activity that has fully occupied him for the past eighteen months.

This is quite the list of criminal events, my friend. I thought the TCG had this kind of thing under control. It’s concerning that you don’t. Doesn’t make your TCG department look super great, huh?

Thinking about it, this really seems like something the Police Commissioner should know about. If you’ve lost the Commissioner’s email address, don’t worry. I found it on a forum.

Cheers,

Cub

Hotguy PR Agent

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: TCG Special Officer <vigilante.oversight@tcg.gov>

Subject: Re: OFFICIAL REVIEW NOTIFICATION

Dear Hotguy’s PR Agent,

I understand as a law-abiding Hermitopia resident, you may be alarmed at descriptions of disorder intended for Hotguy’s eyes only. Please do not be concerned.  We also strongly recommend you do not forward this chain to the Police Commissioner. As you will see from the news, the city is peaceful and everything is completely under control.

Kind Regards,

Special Officer #49

  ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

THERE ARE THREE HUNDRED CHICKENS WITH LASERS ON FIFTH STREET

tell hotguy to call me he’s not picking up!!!

-cg

  ------------------------------------

To: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Regrettably Hotguy is not available as he is escorting orphans to the North Pole to tour Santa’s workshop.

Cheers,

Cub

Hotguy PR Agent

  ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

it’s JULY

 ------------------------------------

To: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

Hotguy believes in being prepared

is this really cuteguy? what’s going on?

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

i was coming back from patrol and going to pick up my pizza. i always get pizza, cub, you have to understand this is an important part of patrol.

when i turn the corner to my normal pizza place there are

AT LEAST FIVE HUNDRED CHICKENS WITH BEAK-MOUNTED LASERS

ALL OVER THE STREET

BETWEEN ME AND MY PIZZA

they’re milling around and scratching like someone just dumped them here. whenever they squawk they burn a tiny hole in the nearest wall. i tried to get near one to look at the device on their beaks and i nearly got my finger burned off.

now i’m on a roof. i want my PIZZA, cub. i’m a close-range fighter and i’m not getting up close with a laser chicken. this seems like a hotguy problem!

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Helloooo,

My name is Pearl Moon, and I’m a reporter with the Hermit Herald. I heard Hotguy has a new PR agent at this address. I’m not going to lie, I’m delighted. Hotguy’s a great guy for a quote, obviously, but getting hold of him is kind of a nightmare.

I’m at the scene of the Eighth Annual Fried Donut Festival. I’m contacting you because a citizen running a stall has allegedly just seen a, I quote, “weaponized chicken”.

According to them, it shot an “adorable laser” into their supplies, punctured a hole in their fruit toppings cooler, and ran under the stalls. I’ve been on this beat for a while and this sounds like a Doctor Monster or a Zedaph special to me. Personally, my money’s on Doc.

I know your client and Doctor Monster go back a long way, so I was wondering if we might see Hotguy himself swooping in?

Yours in pursuit of the truth,

Pearl Moon

  ------------------------------------

To: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Dear Concerned Journalist,

Thank you for your email. As you know, Hotguy is currently in Canada fighting smallpox by shooting individual bacteria with a special crossbow, for which he has received a commendation from their Prime Minister.

I’ve just contacted him to get a quote about the chicken and he definitely said, “Seems bad.”

Enjoy the festival! Feel free to send Hotguy a souvenir donut box to my address.

Cheers,

Cub

Hotguy PR Agent

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

there’s some kind of festival with crowds of civilians going on in the next street. the chickens are wandering towards it. to make everything worse, i think i saw a newsreader van.

this is funny but also very bad.

i’m going to see if i can lead the chickens away from the festival with some bait, since hotguy’s obviously too busy admiring his own biceps in the mirror to help. i’ve got half a granola bar and an apple core. this is going to work really well for eight hundred chickens. here goes nothing.

if hotguy wakes up from his afternoon nap, you can tell him we didn’t even need him.

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Dear Cub,

I’m pretty sure Canada doesn’t have smallpox anymore. I don’t think anywhere has smallpox.

New update: Several hundred chickens have just erupted into the festival from a side street. They all appear to have lasers. The sheer weight of poultry has overturned two artisan donut stalls, which has caused what I’m going to describe as “mass panic” as people try and avoid the laser beams. People screaming, people running, everything coated in a fine layer of powdered sugar. No injuries yet, but it looks like the Prize-Winning Triple Marshmallow Churro Donut display will never be the same again.

Also, I swear I just saw Cuteguy.

Yours in pursuit of the truth,

Pearl Moon

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

i got ONE chicken with the granola bar and NOW IT’S DECIDED IT’S MY BEST FRIEND. it keeps trying to fly into my arms! this is not helping!!

its friends are now all over the stalls. the laser chicken breed has discovered a new staple food and it’s fried donuts. this is NOT my fault. clearly none of this is my fault.

oh god now there’s two TCG agents coming over to see what all the shouting is about. the chicken radius is growing. there’s a folk band on a bicycle and a chicken just launched itself into their tuba.

i’m going to try and round the rest of them up. keep the TCG off my back and tell hotguy to do ANYTHING HELPFUL AT ALL.

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Situation update: Cuteguy is in the middle of a huge crowd of shouting people and appears to be clutching a chicken. Also, Doctor Monster has turned up. He’s trying to give a dramatic speech about his “evolved chickens” from a nearby rooftop through a loudhailer, but I’ll be honest, everyone seems more interested in Cuteguy.

#laserchickendisaster and #whereishotguy are trending on Chatter, but no sign of Hotguy yet! Sure he doesn’t want to give us a longer quote?

Yours in pursuit of the truth,

Pearl Moon

 ------------------------------------

To: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

I have a cool contraption that you could probably use for catching chickens. downside is you do need some plutonium. Not much but, like, not a legal amount.

Alternately i also have a great recipe for roast chicken

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

we are not roasting these chickens, cub, the chickens have done nothing wrong!! And WHY DO YOU HAVE PLUTONIUM, WE TOLD YOU TO STOP THE DARK SCIENCE. DO SOMETHING USEFUL ABOUT THIS FESTIVAL SITUATION INSTEAD.

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Situation update: Doctor Monster has now turned his loudhailer on Cuteguy and accused him of stealing his evolved chickens. He seems very upset. The Doctor has declined an interview, but I’ve got some incredible photos and the powdered sugar really suits him.

I’m trying to get a quote from Cuteguy but it’s quite difficult to even see him through the crowd, and the chickens, and the German street band, and the displaced donut vendors, and the TCG agents who are trying quite earnestly to get to him, and—did I mention—the chickens.

My camera team is getting some great footage, but do you know what his plan was here?

Yours in pursuit of the truth,

Pearl Moon

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

everyone in the crowd thinks i own these chickens!! one of the chickens has set fire to a hot oil vat and a journalist is after me and an old lady keeps trying to hit me with her handbag!!!

DOC IS NOW TAKING POT SHOTS AT ME FOR NO REASON AT ALL. I HATE THIS JOB.

i’m behind cover

it won’t last

if you don’t get hotguy here now i’m never speaking to him again

 ------------------------------------

To: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

nooo you’re doing great man, knocking it out the park. Doesn’t sound like you need Hotguy.

you’re a hero too, right?

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

okay cub listen.

i don’t WANT hotguy. if i could fix this chicken situation without the city’s most annoying vigilante turning up to take the credit, believe me, i would have done it already.

but you know what hotguy can do? he can win the crowd. hotguy’s always on the right side. nobody would ever accuse hotguy of owning fifteen hundred laser chickens. he tells people about hope and teamwork stuff and they believe him.

oh god

the TCG are here and i’m apparently target number one.

they’ve just spotted me on this gazebo and i’ve got no good roof to jump to. i’ll have to make a run for it. if you don’t hear from me again, i might have got arrested.

hotguy spouts all that rubbish about teamwork, but hey, it’s pretty obvious he doesn’t believe in it himself!

 ------------------------------------

To: Bdubs, Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes

From: Cub

Subject: what I’m about to suggest is legal

we should help him huh

do you know where scar is? like which cell phone towers might be close. I’ve got a map of the towers if you can give me a location.

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Cub, Hotguy PR Agent

From: Bdubs

Subject: this sounds NOT legal

BDUBS TO THE RESCUE, AS ALWAYS. You’re welcome.

Scar is actually recording a snack commercial over on Twelfth Street. Details in projects\casting_directors_bdubs_is_not_feuding_with\dumb_projects_we_have_to_book_for_money\Sparkle!Cereal!

  ------------------------------------

To: Bdubs, Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes

From: Cub

Subject: this is 100% legal white hat hacking definitely

okay I’ve remotely accessed Scar’s phone and put a klaxon on it. Should be audible two hundred yards away.

I’m gonna call him now.

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Situation update from your reporter on the ground (still no quote from the guy himself?)

Cuteguy has been showing great stamina in the chase that’s been going on. The camera crew is impressed!

He is currently being pursued by:

1.   Doc

2.   Doc’s cyborg guard robot

3.   Two TCG agents

4.   Three hundred and sixty chickens (approx.), one of which believes Cuteguy is its best friend

5.   Several animal activists attempting to recapture the chickens

6.   A bar crawl that seems to think they’re doing a parade and wanted to join in

7.   A German band on a long bicycle with two clarinets and a man trying to shake a chicken out of his tuba

Cuteguy is…looking back over his shoulder?

Oh, wait! Situation update paused!

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

HE’S HERE

HE’S ACTUALLY HERE

FINALLY

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Hotguy has arrived!

He’s swooped in with three trick arrow shots that set off fireworks above the crowd, rappelled straight up to Doc on the roof, and started a fist fight with him. It’s very dramatic. I’m not sure he’s actually landing any of those blows.

Helpfully for Cuteguy, no one is looking at him anymore. He’s surreptitiously putting distance between himself and the TCG agents.

Doc is now making another speech while fighting Hotguy. If I’m honest, he seems pretty happy he’s finally getting the credit for his own evil plot. We’ve got a close-up on him. Doc would like us all to know that this is the future of poultry, the future of lasers, and possibly the future of donuts? Last part a bit unclear as at that point Hotguy threw his loudhailer off the roof.

Meanwhile, Cuteguy is trying to lure the chickens away from the civilians with pieces of donut. This would be working better if the crowd weren’t all shoving forwards to try to get a better look at Doc.

Doc has taken off on a jetpack declaring he’ll “be back!”. Hotguy has given him a thumbs up.

Oh, now Hotguy has finally caught on to what Cuteguy is trying to do and is chivvying the crowd to help herd the chickens away with donuts for bait. Donuts are flying. The crowd is now enthusiastically participating in this donut-tossing activity. The chickens are delighted. Hotguy has spotted our camera team chasing him and we’re getting a lot of that action-shot this-is-my-good-side pose.

Hotguy and Cuteguy work together pretty well when they get going, huh?

Now Hotguy has swung down to land in the middle of the crowd and put an arm around each of the TCG agents, who are heavily dusted in sugar and look somewhat sheepish. What a nicely framed shot! Almost as if Hotguy pushed them into position for the cameras.

Well, I suppose I’m writing an article about how much Hotguy helps the TCG.

Your client owes me one.

Doc’s guard robot has rounded up the chickens that Hotguy and Cuteguy have funneled back into a nearby alley. It seems to be putting them in large nets. The local pizza place has a sign that says RIGATONI JONES PIZZA: CLOSED DUE TO CHICKEN EMERGENCY, and for some reason Cuteguy seems upset about this. Excitement over, I suppose?

I do hope you tell Hotguy how helpful the Herald was! Next time he’s got a tip-off to share, just tell him to remember your friendly local journalist Pearl Moon.

He knows where to find me ;)

Yours in pursuit of the truth,

Pearl Moon

 ------------------------------------

To: Cub, Hotguy PR Agent

From: Bdubs

Subject: hmm

You know, Cub, I’ve been thinking. That wasn’t bad, how you got hold of Scar. NOT BAD AT ALL. I am starting to think you might be a useful type of person to have around.

All The Best

Bdubs

 ------------------------------------

To: Bdubs, Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes

From: Cub

Subject: Re: hmm

cheers man

i’ve rigged the klaxon so it plays when either of us or cuteguy calls scar. if he waits too long to answer it starts to play the whole Lilo and Stitch movie audio. if anyone asks this is not technically a virus.

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Cub, Hotguy PR Agent

From: Bdubs

Subject: Re: hmm

I LOVE it. I love it.

You know, I have a whole list of casting directors I think you could test some virus development on. It would do them good. Keep them on their toes!! (I believe this is called…“white hat”).

I am HEREBY going to let you into my most SECRET FOLDER.

<Bdubs@scargoodtimes.com> has shared admin\nemesis_list

Maybe start with ‘casting_directors_who_do_not_recognise_bdubs_talent-spotting_genius’ and ‘producers_who_were_rude_to_scar’

 ------------------------------------

To: Bdubs, Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes

From: Cub

Subject: Re: hmm

leave it to me, man

we’re gonna go far

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ START | PREVIOUS | NEXT ] [ MERCH ] [ MISC ]

My piece for the Hotguy comic zinethology! Thank you so much to editor @antimony-medusa and designer @cocoabats (I have used tumblr’s format for most of it because my eyes are too bad for pdf scaling on my phone, but for the FULL INCREDIBLE HOTGUY EXPERIENCE you will want to download the actual zine at @hotguycomiczine!!)

[softcorecurcits]

Byte. He’s a sentient virus that eats viruses on old computers in a dingy computer lab. Kinda like an antivirus but more annoying and will download more viruses onto said computer just for shits and giggles.

[sm-baby]

How do you think Non-sentient Carnival Pomni and Freakshow Caine interact ? Especially since Pomni deals with viruses and Freakshow Caine has a virus, do you think that it might turn into a fight or struggle between the two AIs as they try to fix and corrupt each other ?

GOD ... I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS ..

I want to draw this out so much.. because Non-sentient Pomni is equal in power to freakshow Caine... GODDD...BOT FIGHT! BOT FIGHT! BOT FIGHT!

Him corrupting her and her forcefully fixing him?? GOD THE CHOREOGRAPHY IN THAT WOULD BE SO FUCKING GOOD...

[trainsinanime]

Early 90s hacker AU. Totally radical teenagers Marinette "M-Net" Dupain-Cheng (always online because she's into it, on a computer she cobbled together out of scrap) and Adrien "Double_A" Agreste (always online because his father won't let him out the house, on the most expensive computer there is, with 133 MHz and several gigabytes of hard drive) are normal hackers. Until one day, they find weird magical modems in their rooms. Upon connecting them, they are greeted by the magical sentient computer viruses T.kki and Pl4gg, who help them transform into the magical super-hackers: The Lady-Bug and Ch4t N01r. Together, they are going to clear the information superhighways of Cyber-Paris from the evil influence of InterGabrielSoft and the mysterious HardMoth.

[superbbirdofparadise]

Are y'all ready for a mildly unhinged character comparison?

(It makes sense when you think about it, trust me)

William Afton and Doctor Morocco. One is an undead serial killer from a mascot horror game. The other is a villain from a cartoon targeted to preschool-age children who doesn't even have a body count (at least, not one that's mentioned on-screen). On the surface, all they have in common are their British accents and general disregard for public welfare. But, these two are actually far more similar than you might think.

First, they are both inventors, and experts in robotics. While it is unclear exactly how many animatronics Afton himself built, we know from Sister Location that he designed the Funtimes by himself, and he worked very closely with Henry Emily for earlier animatronics (not even gonna try researching specific numbers because FNAF). Morocco is shown working on many projects, from submarines to a machine that controls ants, but his most famous invention is the MorBot, a non-sentient transforming robot.

Early in their careers, they both met fellow genius inventors; Afton with Henry Emily, and Morocco with Jules Verne. They became best friends, and began working together on projects. Unfortunately, both of these friendships were more one-sided than they seemed.

Admiration of Emily and Verne soon turned to jealousy, leading Afton and Morocco to betray them. Afton, either grieving the loss of his own child(ren), or just at his breaking point depending on what timeline you use, killed Henry's daughter, Charlie. After being gifted a prototype Verne device, Morocco disagreed with Verne on how the technology should be used, and disappeared to develop inventions which fulfilled his own selfish desires. Although they are not equal in magnitude, both betrayals hurt the recipients deeply.

At some point, both became obsessed with the pursuit of eternal life. This led Afton to continue killing children to harvest remnant from them, even creating the S.C.U.P., better known as the Scooper, to aid remnant extraction. Morocco used his Verne device prototype to create his Chamber of Youth, a glass pod with anti-aging properties. (Picture of Burntrap's charging pod included for comparison with the Chamber of Youth, and because I couldn't find a better place to put it.)

However, time waits for no man. Although Afton "survives" injuries that should be fatal, and Morocco barely looks a day over 40 at 200, neither of their situations are perfect. What's left of Afton is trapped inside an old Spring Bonnie suit, and Morocco must make frequent trips to his Chamber of Youth to avoid aging rapidly and dying.

Eventually, Emily and Verne decide to end their former best friends' reigns of terror. Emily builds a fake pizzeria to trap Afton, and all of the haunted and/or sentient animatronics, and burns them to the ground. Verne takes a (relatively) pacifist approach, erasing Morocco's memories of being evil and bringing him to future Paris, where he will hopefully live out the rest of his days in peace. So goes the ends of two great villains…

…until SOMEONE decides that the characters are too popular to die, so they're brought back, but it's not really them, it's just viruses that look and talk and act and think like them that were created by the real Afton and Morocco at an undisclosed point in time because why wouldn't they do that? These viruses appear in experimental VR games, Glitchtrap in the Freddy Fazbear Virtual Experience, and the Morocco virus in Griffin Rock Element Quest 2.0. They both have the ability to alter the games they originated in, Glitchtrap adding the tapes and Bonnie plush, and Morocco virus creating entirely new levels. They also have the ability to control other machines, and even humans, under the right circumstances.

Both viruses manage to transfer themselves into physical bodies, and continue to cause chaos. (For this example, we are assuming that Burntrap is the Mimic infected with the Glitchtrap virus and pretending to be William Afton, NOT Afton himself.)

Vanessa and Gregory trap the Mimic in an even lower level of the basement, and the rescue team traps Morocco virus in a block of ice. After they are captured and imprisoned, they decide that they should update their character designs at the earliest convenience to be more easily distinguishable from their human designers, sell more merch, and, in Morocco virus' case at least, grow more powerful. Mimic basically just stops cosplaying as Ourple Guy (and starts cosplaying as a circus creature amalgam depending on the ending), but Morocco upgrades to a MorBot, rivaling the Rescue Bots in every physical aspect.

It is unknown whether or not either of these viruses, or their creators, will be threats in the future. With the Morocco virus stuck at the bottom of the ocean, and the doctor himself nowhere to be seen in Rescue Bots Academy, the reign of Morocco has likely come to an end. It seems as though William Afton has finally died, too, being replaced by the Mimic as FNAF's main antagonist. To know the Mimic's fate, we'll have to wait until Secret of the Mimic, or maybe even a game farther in the future.

Aaaaand I think that's it! There are a few smaller details that I didn't mention (i.e. Morocco's shirt button/brooch thing is ourple?!?😱😱😱), but these are all of the big connections between these guys that I saw. I haven't seen anyone else make this comparison (for good reason lol), so I thought it would be nice to share my thoughts. Let me know what y'all think, and feel free to mention things that I missed, or let me know your own mildly unhinged character comparisons. So, uh… yeah. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Edit: I fixed the typo in the image description for the picture of Morocco and Verne meeting.

[rjalker]

Alba's species is called Malcattus fumoformis

or, evil cat made of smoke.

or maybe it should be the other way around. Fumoformis malcattus...hmmm yeah that one works better.

[bogleech]

Can we get more on how Fectoids work? Is the microform literally one of the creatures, dissolved into cells and swimming around in your blood until it jumps back out and coalesces again? Do they retain their personalities or any kind of control over their tiny infectious components?

The initial idea of the Fectoids was that they'd begin as a sentient hive-minded viral infection, then all the little viruses would leave their hosts and fuse into one macroscopic monster body. Later I wrote some around an idea that a copy of the monster form would be born from every host, so they'd shift between microbial outbreak and swarm of monsters. All this was a little too tricky to justify for TTRPG mechanics, and I came to feel it complicated the idea of them as Pokemon-like partners.

So my current concept is that when they turn microscopic and infectious, they still have just a single "true" body. Basically they revert back to a parasitic larva and the rest of their biomass breaks down into millions of pathogenic cells. This borrows a bit from two real-world things: parasitoid wasps actually inject symbiotic viruses alongside their larvae to alter the biology of the host, and then there are creatures like the so-called "immortal jellyfish" that revert back to a larva instead of aging to death. They all still have the capacity to become a whole "outbreak," it's just not automatic; they actually need to mate with other Fectoids through spore exchange to make more macrobodies. This just means your Pokemon Partner Fectoid isn't automatically duplicating itself hundreds of times just to use its main ability; narratively, wild Fectoids are still causing zombie plagues and mass monster spawnings.

[pestorik]

Really random question I thought of does Idia's house have a defense system that he built into the house or is Ortho the house defense system?

well obviously the answer has to be the funniest thing we can come up with.

so i think ortho-bot is connected via bluetooth to everything in the house, including any and all speakers. so he is technically the security system but his threat awareness is set extremely high. ortho-bot is sentient, which means he is in control of all his own settings and even if idia adjusts them, ortho-bot will set them back to what he thinks is appropriate. however, he is also a robot, so his idea of "appropriate" doesnt always align with that of humans, nor does it account for all the very specific nuances and exceptions of the human experience.

and so, ortho-bot will go into security mode and set off every single alarm (tv speakers, alarm clocks, microwave, etc) in the house at the slightest hint of an intrusion, whether it be actual robbers or a bee flying in the window. the whole house lights up red and the sirens will blare full blast. it also shuts down all computer devices to protect against viruses, so if idia is in the middle of a game he loses all progress.

it can also happen in the middle of the night or when idia is sleeping. the alarms wont stop going off until he stops what hes doing and manually resets ortho-bot.

[forestclan-clangen]

Lore Dive: StarClan and The Iris

[Image ID: A modified/edited image of official StarClan art by Wayne McLoughlin in the top left corner, and a screenshot of the Iris from the web series "Gemini Home Entertainment" by Remy Abode in the bottom right. Some visual elements have been tweaked, like additional stars dotting StarClan's artwork, and some red and yellow lights and lines around the Iris. End ID] StarClan are significantly more benevolent in ForestClan's universe than malevolent. However, they are also limited in their ability to influence the living world in comparison to their canon counterpart. StarClan often meets difficulty in being able to communicate freely and safely with ForestClan. Ultimately, both StarClan and the world of the living have one singular, ultimate enemy, one that poses an existential threat to not just cat-kind, but the entire world: the Iris.

This lore dive will be split into 3 parts - I will explain the goals and abilities of the Iris, those of StarClan, and finally a timeline of events for the ongoing conflict between both.

THE IRIS

Those who have read my blog description should already be aware, but for the uninitiated: ForestClan is, in essence, a crossover fanfic with Clangen prompts as inspiration. ForestClan's universe exists inside the analog horror web series "Gemini Home Entertainment" (GHE for short) by Remy Abode. The Iris is an eldritch entity directly from GHE. Just like in its home series, it's a living, actively malevolent planet that has very powerful abilities that affect life on Earth - even as it's slowly consuming Neptune and Saturn, several billions of miles away from us.

The Iris' goal is to mutate and transform all the planets in our solar system. It is slowly approaching Earth, and planning to terraform it for unknown purposes. Whatever those purposes are do not involve the continued existence of life on Earth.

The Iris is the source of the Deep Root entities (Woodcrawlers, Nature's Mockery, etc.) that are invading ForestClan's territory and its surrounding borders - known to humans as Moonlight Acres Camp. Despite being the source, the Iris does not have direct control of them. Deep Root entities are alien animals and viruses. In the end, the entities just want to eat, grow, spread their territory and continue their life cycles, like any other animal. The Iris can use the power of suggestion to influence these creatures, much like StarClan can offer guidance to ForestClan.

The Iris exerts this power of suggestion through electromagnetic radiation waves, like all planets and stars emit naturally - but with directional intent. With this, it interferes with the dreams of any sentient being capable of having them, with its primary focus being humanity. It is capable of injecting images and visions that lull them into being more malleable to its goals. It is also capable of interfering with human radio waves and signal broadcasts, but those are less relevant to ForestClan.

Its primary targets of interest are humans first, cats second. StarClan is utterly terrified of it regardless of its secondary interest in cats.

After all, several cats have had nightmares about "maws" and "unhinged jaws" featuring a massive, yellow moon.

STARCLAN

Just like in its canon media, StarClan are the warrior ancestors of ForestClan and of the four extinct Clans. Their goals are to guide and protect ForestClan within the limits of their power, and on a grander scale, protect living cats from being scrutinized by the Iris.

They are not all-knowing or all-seeing, but they gather as much information about the world from their heavenly abode as possible, and share it with leaders and medicine cats. They typically share Woodcrawler locations, new instances of Nature's Mockery, human activity, or dangerous weather conditions approaching. These are tasks limited to regular StarClan cats.

Former leaders and former medicine cats, those with the brightest stars in their pelts, have the more dangerous task of looking beyond their afterlife borders and into our solar system. They track the movement of the Iris, and interrupt its electromagnetic waves with their own 'mimicry waves' their starry pelts emit. This disrupts the Iris' communication attempts, and slows the Iris' approach to Earth.

They can also somewhat direct lightning strikes. They cannot create them from nothing, or control clouds, however. The storm must already be naturally occurring for StarClan to be capable of directing lightning. A thunder storm is seen as a good fortune for ForestClan, especially if they have pregnant or nursing queens.

StarClan can communicate directly without stipulations at the Half-Moon Dome. The Half-Moon Dome is, literally, a dome-shaped object made of aluminum. It is found in the middle of a now-abandoned human storm bunker, near a demolished Twoleg nest. The bunker also contains an old human radio that ForestClan calls "the Silver Box", although it does not seem to serve any purpose. Medicine cats can sleep against the Half-Moon Dome and establish a sole link with StarClan.

StarClan cannot be direct with their messages when medicine cats are away from the aluminum dome. They can provide strange, story-like dreams, visual images, prophecies and omens - but the only reason they remain cryptic is for the safety of the entirety of cat-kind. Due to the Iris' ability to infiltrate and manipulate dreams, it is a very real risk and genuine fear that the Iris will see cats actually communicate complex thoughts and ideas. Prophecies and omens are understood less as an inability for StarClan to be direct, and more of a coded message, to avoid the suspicion from a great, hungry eye that hates consciousness.

StarClan also grants new leaders nine lives, just like in canon, in order to better serve their Clan.

HISTORY OF THE IRIS AND STARCLAN CONFLICT

When the Iris first made contact with Earth in the human year 1935, its sole focus was targeting humanity to feed the effigy it sent there. It didn't know that five Clans of feral cats lived around the abundant, isolated territory of Moonlight Acres camp.

That is, until it finds that something is interfering with its electromagnetic waves. There was a strong background radiation coming from various stars in space. They were pointed directly towards Moonlight Acres camp, intercepting the Iris' own waves, and angering it. In the human year 1946, the Iris found that true stars weren't responsible for this - rather, a facsimile of them were. Invisible energies that mimicked stars were concentrated in the atmosphere above Moonlight Acres. Intrigued, the Iris followed a stray wave towards a creature's dream - and saw two cats staring up at it in horror. One had a pelt filled with stars.

As soon as this event occured, StarClan became aware that the Iris discovered them. With its ability to invade dreams, they were terrified, and didn't know what it was capable of. Out of caution, StarClan went silent with their open communication, choosing to send omens and prophecies in the hope that the medicine cats would go to the Half-Moon Dome immediately for clarification. This frightened the medicine cats at the time, as they were not used to such vagueness from their ancestors.

This was a good decision by StarClan, as the Iris' inability to find another starry cat lead to it being suspicious, but not convinced about the intelligence of Clan cats. But its suspicion was enough for the Iris to test their consciousness. It tried the same trick it used on humans: it sent cats strange dreams of cat-like entities. They beckoned the cats to "come and speak with them, make deals with them". These manifested as the "well-groomed cats with fur-less heads".

However, the Iris dropped this testing and refocused its anger when its human puppet tried to sacrifice a bear instead of humans, as agreed. This act resulted in the creation of the Wretch. The Wretch stormed through the woods in search of humans to punish and incorporate into itself, and then stumbled through the Clan camps without thought. The Wretch automatically absorbed flesh - cats were not its target, but it was so large that it was unavoidable.

The Wretch destroyed the ancient Clans, leaving ForestClan as the lone survivor. Since then, StarClan has fought to preserve and protect the cats of ForestClan, and destroy the Iris. This is despite how insurmountable such a task is, or how insignificant cats truly are. After all - forget the Clans, is anywhere and anything truly safe? Knowing what they know now, about this living thing that creates horrifying creatures that can hunt and kill even humans, can they really just roll over and die without even trying to combat it? This information is so heavy, that they have one rule, and one rule alone that they enforce on ForestClan's leader and medicine cats. When a leader first attains their nine lives, or when a medicine cat is initiated into apprenticeship, they are revealed the secret about the true nature of the woods: the Iris is responsible for them, and no one knows how to stop it, if it can be stopped at all. The Iris can invade their dreams, and it is vital that no cat is aware of it. Cats must have "normal" cat dreams, to continue to fool the Iris. This is why ForestClan leaders used to be called "secret keepers", and medicine cats used to be called "protectors of secrets".

Throughout history, StarClan have discovered the following:

The Iris is not omnipotent - it must attain its information, one way or another.

The Iris is actively malicious and enjoys inflicting suffering on conscious things. The Iris cannot, under any circumstances, discover that Clan cats are highly intelligent and capable of religion, medicine and complex societies.

The Iris cannot see StarClan fully - only detect the waves their pelts emit. It can also track waves emitted by a brain in REM sleep, when dreams most occur.

The Woodcrawlers and all other creatures of the woods are, fundamentally, animals. They are opportunistic, and perform risk assessments, and do give up if they believe their prey is going to kill them. Cats throughout several generations have had different methods of dealing with the woods' hunger, but StarClan does not support or condemn any methods. They are not gods, they cannot control what ForestClan chooses to do. They can be disappointed and upset, but the Iris is the true enemy.

The Iris CANNOT control or keep tabs on every single monster it has brought to earth. What the monsters know, the Iris doesn't necessarily know. It just trusts the aliens to do as much damage as possible.

As of right now, in Moon 4, the Iris is becoming aware that something else - other than humans and the strange, mimicry waves - is trying to communicate. The Iris is trying to reach back to this third party, but keeps being cut off by StarClan.

StarClan is fighting very, very hard to keep Rootgrove's trapped spirit hidden from the Iris. They didn't know his spirit would emit electromagnetic waves too. They need to find a way to destroy the thing that took him, before the Iris breaches their defenses. Otherwise, all hope is lost, and the Iris will begin sending Well-Groomed Cats again to manipulate ForestClan to their demise.

[missterious-figure]

Another au... :)

Your whole world is a digital "utopia". Humans can use vr to get there and interact with the digi-people. Each digi-person is a unique, sentient ai.

You are an anti-virus. Your job is to hunt down the cyber pirates, viruses, and glitches that plague your digital world. A very dangerous virus is looming and you are forced to work with two virus pirates. You need them because they know the ins and outs of the digital criminal hot spots where you need to get information. And you promised that you wouldn't delete them if they did. Will you be able to stop the virus before it is released by the mysterious culprit? If you don't your whole world and everyone in it will be corrupted...

Sun is very flamboyant.