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neopronouns-in-action · 1 year ago

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Neopronouns in Action #064: Living Smoke

Neopronouns: he’er/him’mer/his’ser/him’mer-self, which follow the same rules as he/him/his/himself

Replace he with he’er

Replace him with him’mer

Replace his with his’ser

Replace himself with him’mer-self

EX:

"He is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as he gets a fence set up around his yard so the puppy can go outside without him having to walk it. His uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting him use, since he lost his. He's going to buy toys and train the puppy himself.”

Becomes:

"He’er is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as he’er gets a fence set up around his’ser yard so the puppy can go outside without him’mer having to walk it. His’ser uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting him’mer use, since he’er lost his’ser. He’er's going to buy toys and train the puppy him’mer-self.”

___

“Well, I mean, there’s a lot – a lot of things to consider, you know?” he’er said in shock. He’er was standing with his’ser back to the window overlooking the castle grounds, and he’er could hear the sound of sound of children screaming either in delighted play, or bloody murder as the gang he’er’d been watching before loudly ran through the courtyard again.

His’ser sollis was lounging on the cushioned bench by the door, injured ankle elevated on a stack of pillows, nulls shoe and sock pulled off and sitting on the small table at the end of the bench. His’ser lunnis was standing at nulls feet, holding thons glass against nulls ankle as the doctor had instructed thon before she ran off to get a real ice pack.

“Yes, but most of those things are benefits.” His’ser lunnis said calmly, as though this was a rehearsed line thon’d been practicing. “We’d always know, for instance,” thon said pointedly, “If one of us was hurt and trapped somewhere, unable to get help on their own.”

“And we’d be able to share pain when we get hurt, so it doesn’t hurt the individual as much as it would alone!” His’ser sollis said, waving null free hand in his’ser direction for emphasis. Clearly, null was not referencing nulls current injury.

He’er grimaced, then tried to wipe the expression from his’ser face before his’ser partners noticed. Too late. Sharing pain was the exact downside he’er’d been thinking of. As though to remind him’mer of her existance (Not that he’er could ever forget), Alba chose that moment to wake up, stretching as she did so, and the electric shock of pain through his’ser arm and chest made him’mer tense, waiting as the agonizing seconds passed for her to finish languidly extending her claws, one at a time, back into his’ser veins and spine.

She finished by lifting her head and purring directly into his’ser ear, the sound so deep he’er could feel it vibrating inside his’ser skull.

He’er pulled his’ser head away as far as he’er could, and turned to glare at her. She regarded him’mer back, sharp-toothed mouth pulled apart slightly in her mimic of a human smile, still purring audibly.

Just a few months ago, he’er’d never imagined that the purring of a cat could sound malicious, but that had been before he’er’d been possessed by Alba. The only time she purred was when she was actively causing him’mer pain.

::Can you please stop doing that?:: He’er sent automatically, knowing he’er wouldn’t get an answer. He’er’d been trying to communicate with her ever since he’er’d noticed her, at least hoping that, like an actual cat, she’d learn to recognize words and respond to his’ser tone, but with no success.

But this time, to his’ser shock, she answered. She leaned across to his’ser face again, and said, very plainly, cheerfully, ::No.::

He’er stared, and knew his’ser mouth had dropped open in shock. He’er could feel it. “What?” He’er said out loud, momentarily too surprised to format it properly to be telepathic.

“What? What happened?” His’ser sollis demanded, then said, at the same time as his’ser lunnis, “Are you okay?”

Alba stared calmly back at him’mer as though she hadn’t just done something shocking. She was still purring, and the pain was still stabbing into the nerves on his’ser arm and back, but less intense now that she was fully awake and extended.

“She just said her first word…” He’er said aloud. Then, concentrating to speak telepathically, he’er addressed Alba again, saying carefully, ::Can you please stop hurting me?:: He’er held up his’ser non-infected hand and put his’ser fingers in the sign that he’er was distracted by Alba. His’ser partners waited for him’mer to be done.

This time, Alba tilted her head to the side, ::What’s that?:: She asked, her purring stuttering slightly.

What was what? What was hurting? Didn’t she know what pain was?

He’er was about to ask that very question, but at that moment, a metallic thunk came from the door three times, and a voice called through the thick wood, “I am the doctor, can I come in?”

“Yes, enter.” His’ser sollis said.

Alba turned to look towards the door as it swung open, and he’er did too. Alba usually didn’t pay attention to anyone except him’mer.

The doctor limped in, a walking stick in one hand, their other foot dragging along. Their clothes were rather casual, just simple brown pants and a long green jacket over a yellow shirt with a smear of colorful cake icing right below the hand print of what looked like a toddler, with hard-worn leather boots, and a brass monacle perched over one eye.

What they lacked in extravagant clothing, they made up for in the rest of their costume – A long tail the same brown as their skin, tipped with a tuft of black fur at the end like a lion, two short green horns emerging from their forehead above their eyes, and overly large pointed ears like you’d find on a goblin in a fairytale.

“Hello, hello,” They called as they came through the door, “I was told someone in here needed a doctor?” Then they paused mid-step, sniffing the air loudly, and tilted their head to the side and looked around at him’mer and his’ser partners. “I smell a fumoformis!” they exclaimed, sounding excited, “It’s been ages since I’ve met a fumoformis! Who’s got them, then?”

They looked at each of his’ser partners in turn, before those startlingly black eyes turned on him’mer, and, sniffing the air again, the doctor came forward, the walking stick thumping on the floor, and held out their free hand for him’mer to shake. He’er didn’t take it, because Alba’s stretching had made him’mer lose feeling in it and he’er didn’t think he’er could lift it if he’er tried, but the Doctor prattled on anyways, and dropped their hand to rest it on the walking stick as they continued, no less excited, “You’ve got them haven’t you? Infected by the living smoke? You must be aware of the infection by now, they smell like they’re just starting to reach adolescence! I’m the doctor, by the way, if I forgot to say so. Pronouns are hea/ler/lers/lerself. And you are?”

He’er was baffled, and slightly overwhelmed by the force of this doctor’s friendliness. “Cane,” he’er answered, and then, automatically, caught up in the doctor’s cheerfullness, added, “He’er/him’mer/his’ser/him’mer-self.”

Alba was leaning forward off his’ser shoulder, trying to sniff at the doctor, which he’er’d never seen her do before. “You know about smoke demons?” Then, remembering the real reason a doctor had been called, he’er leaned to the side, and gestured for the doctor to greet his’ser sollis and lunnis. Alba twisted around to keep track of the doctor as he’er moved.

“These are my partners,” He’er said, ignoring her for the moment and, leading the doctor over, and gesturing to them in turn, “My sollis Night, my lunnis Star.” Her claws were still digging into his’ser nerves.

He’er let his’ser partners introduce their own pronouns.

“Pronouns are null/nulls” Night said from the bench, “You’ll pardon me if I don’t shake your hand.”

“Of course, of course.” The doctor responded easily.

Star came forward to shake ler hand though, and told ler, “My pronouns are thon/thons/thonself. It’s nice to meet you.”

“And same to you, my charming friend. Please forgive the state of my clothes, I had a toddler thrust upon me before I was pulled away up here.” Hea gestured towards the colorful frosting on ler shirt, then waved the hand dismissively. “Now lets see about this ankle.” Hea moved to the foot of the bench, and, with effort, knelt down to examine Night’s upraised ankle, humming and tutting under ler breath as hea looked, and eventualy asked, “Do you mind if I poke around a bit to check the bones? I promise I’ll be gentle.”

Night managed to keep a grimace off null face, but Cane could tell null didn’t like the idea. But null said anyways, “Go ahead.”

Then another person poked their head through the door. They were wearing the same costume as the doctor, with horns, and ears, but they’d chosen to wear larger, more elaborate, twisting horns that swept back over their head like a crown, along with one of the traditional festival dresses with its stark layers of red, white, and black.

“There you are, doctor!” They exclaimed once they saw ler, “Don’t wander off like that! I’ve been searching for you for the past thirty minutes! What am I supposed to do if I get lost somewhere and can’t find you?”

The doctor looked up from Night’s ankle and glanced over at the newcomer, then back to Night’s ankle, saying as hea gently poked and prodded the swollen joint, “I’m sorry, Lucille, I got pulled away from the table by an extremely harried looking servant. He heard I was a doctor and demanded I come immediately. He was already dragging me away before I got a chance to call out to you. But enough of that, you found me, it’s fine. Now come, come, meet my new friends, Night, Star, and Cane. Night here slipped on the same stairs you did, but unlike you, null wasn’t so lucky. Come on in, shut the door for some privacy, will you?”

Lucille stepped fully into the room, and pulled the door shut behind her, then crossed her arms, apparently deciding to wait there.

The doctor looked back over at Night, then, distracting Cane, and said, as hea hauled lerself back to ler feet, “Unfortunately, your ankle is definitely broken. Nothing major, but there is a small fracture, so you’ll need to take it easy for a while and get your local doctor to splint it for you. You’re doing well keeping it elevated, and I’ll see if I can find you some ice for the swelling. I’ve got some painkiller here that should make you feel better.” Quick as a whip, hea reached into ler pocket and pulled out a small wooden case, then a pair of leather gloves, and held them out to Night. “Rub some of this cream on and let it absorb, and make sure you use the gloves to keep it off your hands unless you want them to go numb. It’s not harmful, it wears off in a few hours, but believe you me, having your hands feel like they’re asleep for hours makes life a lot less fun. You can’t even turn the pages to read a book! But thankfully I was able to turn the TV on, and got caught back up on my favorite show.” For a moment, hea smiled off into the distance as though reminiscing fondly, while Night gratefully accepted the gloves and case. Then the doctor tapped the tip of ler walking stick on the ground, and said, “You can keep that, by the way, and the gloves, I’ve got plenty back at home.”

Then hea frowned. “I don’t have any of the materials with me to make a cast though, sorry.” Hea glanced stormily over ler shoulder towards the closed door. “I’ll make sure I get a stern word in the King’s ear about fixing those steps, it’s criminal negligence to allow them to get so slippery. I’m shocked you’re the only one injured so far. Now--” Hea turned to him’mer – “Cane, you’re the one with the fumoformis, right? The living smoke infection?”

Cane nodded, turning to watch Alba fully. She was still staring at the doctor with more intensity than she even reserved for him’mer-self. It was concerning.

“Either she likes you, or she hates you.” He’er said warily.

“Oh, I’ll bet she loves me.” The doctor said cheerfully, “What’s her name?” Then, without pause, “Lucille, come here, see if you can smell this. You don’t mind, Cane, do you? Lucille is my assistant, if I failed to mention that, I’m trying to teach her the craft.”

Cane was a little confused, since he’er’d never heard of anyone smelling living smoke demons before, but shrugged willingly. “Go ahead?” It came out more as a question than a statement.

Lucille came over at the doctor’s insistent gesturing, and Cane saw that she also had a tail like the doctor, but fluffier. They must have been very expensive, because now that he’er was looking at them, they moved, flicking and twitching and swishing at seeming random.

The doctor pulled Lucille until she was standing in front of Cane’s shoulder where Alba was perched, and had her inhale deeply.

Unbeknownst to them, Alba had leaned so far forward that her nose was actually touching Lucille’s. Cane had to resist the urge to pull away. But they were doctors, they’d have known if it wasn’t safe.

After a few moments of inhaling deeply with her mouth open, Lucille’s brow furrowed. “Hmm.” She said, wrinkling her nose, “I do smell something there, you’re right. But I don’t know how to describe it, and it’s very hard to pick up…It’s sort of...I almost want to say fruity, maybe like an orange.” Lucille said thoughtfully. She stepped back again to a polite distance behind the doctor, and asked, “So what am I smelling? You said living smoke? What does that mean?”

“She looks like a cat,” Cane supplied, “Made of white smoke. I’m the only one who can see her. She comes out of my arm when she wakes up, and it hurts. After a while she goes to sleep again.” The she in question was watching him’mer now, as though she knew he’er was talking about her, though she’d never paid attention before.

“Ah, Fumoformis malcattus!” The doctor exclaimed, “I thought she smelled catty! But don’t worry, Cane, I might not have the supplies with me to make a cast for our friend Night, but I always keep a ma-amleco with me!” Hea reached ler free hand into ler jacket pocket, surprising Cane by sticking ler hand in almost up to the elbow despite how shallow the pockets looked, and pulled out a palm-sized, dark blue crystal, cut in the shape of a pointed rod, and inlaid with silver that flashed in the sunlight from the window behind Cane. Hea held it up for everyone to see. “If you’re willing, this will provide—” Hea stopped. “I’m sorry, I think I forgot to ask what her name is? What do you call her?”

“Alba, because she’s white.” Cane said.

“A beautiful name for she who is, no doubt, a beautiful fumoformis!” The doctor cried, and twirled the silver-veined crystal. “Anyways! If you are willing, Cane, and if Alba consents, this crystal will provide our dear Alba with the nutrients she needs, so that she doesn’t have to take them from you. She smells like she should be old enough to understand what we’re saying and respond. Here—let’s see if she can count.” Hea slipped the crystal back into ler pocket, and held up ler hand, with two fingers raised. For the first time, Cane realized hea was missing half of ler small finger. “Now, Cane, you’ll have to relay her reaction for me, alright? Alba, if you can understand me, how many fingers am I holding up? Make a noise once for each finger if you can understand me.”

Alba, who’d been paying rapt attention the entire time, tilted her head from one side and then to the other, staring at the doctor’s hand. Then, glancing at Cane as though for the okay, she sent telepathically, ::Once, once.::

“She got that one.” Cane told the doctor.

The doctor immediately smiled, put ler hand behind ler back, then brought it back, now with ler three fingers and thumb raised, and the little half one bent. “And now?”

::Once, once, once, once.:: Alba said, then, after a thoughtful pause, she added, “Four.”

“She said the word four that time.” Cane reported, unsure whether to be happy or annoyed that she’d been ignoring him’mer this whole time. “This is the first day she’s ever spoken.” He’er added to the doctor grumpily.

The doctor was unperturbed, “Oh, that’s normal for fumoformis! They start out growing pretty slowly to give your body time to adjust, then they hit puberty, and whoosh! They start soaking up all the information they can get their little incorporeal paws on.

“She wasn’t ignoring you before now, if you were trying to talk to her, she was just a little baby, and you can’t blame children for what they do by instinct, even if it hurts you. Though of course, I am sorry for the pain she’s caused, since you didn’t exactly get a choice in the matter, but please don’t blame her, she’s just doing what she evolved to do.” Hea absently rubbed ler neck as hea said it. “Anyways, what was I saying?” Hea frowned.

“You wanted to make sure Alba understood what you were saying.” Night prompted from across the room. Cane glanced around the doctor and Lucille, and saw that Star had donned the gloves the doctor had given Night, and was massaging the substance from the box onto Night’s ankle for null.

“Right, yes.” The doctor tapped ler walking stick’s tip against the wooden floor, and pulled the crystal back out of ler pocket. “This ma-amleco, or conjuring crystal if you want to call it, will allow Alba to gain nutrients on her own, without having to leech off of you, Cane. I won’t bore you with the details, but it will mean no more pain for you, and, Alba, I hope you’re listening, it will mean you get to not only survive, but thrive, without causing anyone any pain. Do you understand what pain is yet, little one?”

The doctor was looking in the general direction of Cane’s shoulder, where Alba had actually leaned to the side to meet the doctor’s gaze, not that hea knew it. Cane shifted a bit towards her so she wouldn’t have to lean so far, and she opened her mouth in a smile at him’mer, before, turning back to answer the doctor, she ducked her head and replied, ::Yes. I understand it now.:: She looked at Cane. ::I’m sorry.::

“She says she understands now, and she’s sorry.” He’er translated for the doctor, unsure how to respond to her statements him’mer-self.

“That’s alright now,” The doctor said, “Now, Alba, you have two options. The first is that you join with me rather than Cane here, if you want the company. I’ve got a different biology, so you won’t be able to hurt me, don’t worry about that, and you can use the crystal to get any nutrients you need, until you’re ready to complete your life cycle. Then, we’d go for a visit to a town I know where your kind have made a deal with the locals, who would love the chance to bond with your offspring.

“The second option is you permanently become a free-floating entity, able to go where you want, when you want, gaining your energy from the sun, but with the unfortunate drawback that you wouldn’t be able to reproduce, since your life cycle requires a host for the final step, and the crystal can’t replicate that. But you don’t have to decide n--”

The door opened again, and they all looked over.

An elderly person stood there, wearing just a simple black jacket and brown pants, no costume at all, a walking stick in one hand, a large doctor’s bag in the other. They peered around the room, squinting a little as though having trouble seeing. “Hello,” they said, “Did someone need a doctor?”

“Ah!” The first doctor to arrive said, clapping ler hands suddenly. “You’re here! Just in time, my good fellow, I was just telling my friends here about the ma-amleco crystal, and how to treat Fumoformis with them! And this other young person here needs a cast for null broken ankle, no need to worry about pain management, I’ve already dealt with that, and I know you’ve got the materials for the cast with you, so I’ll just be going now, and entrust them to your capable hands! I’ve got to get back to the party out there! Apples to bob, cakes to ice, horses to name, you know the drill!”

And then the doctor was pushing the blue crystal into Cane’s hands, had taken Lucille by the arm, and, with only a single backwayds shout of, “Cane, Alba, I’ll see you again in three days to hear your decision!” with the rhythmic thunk of the walking stick on the floor and a rushed, confused wave from Lucille, the two were gone, with only the echo of the doctor’s walking stick rapidly striking off the stone steps and Lucille’s echoing, confused voice to remember them by.

The new doctor had turned to watch them leave, and now turned back to the room, brows raised, “Well that was strange.” They looked around, spotted Night, and hefted their black doctor’s bag, “Ah, there’s my patient! That other fellow said they’d given you something for the pain, didn’t they?”

“Yes, it’s numb now. Ler pronouns were hea/ler/lers/lerself, and hea gave me this numbing cream.” Night held the small black case up for the new doctor to see, then gestured at nulls ankle. “Hea said my ankle was broken, but hea didn’t have materials to make the cast lerself.”

Then null pointed at him’mer. “He’er has what the other doctor called a Fumoformis, we call it a living smoke. Hea said that blue crystal would be able to give Alba – the living smoke – her own form and not have to hurt Cane anymore.”

The doctor looked from Night to Cane speculatively, and Cane held out the crystal that had been shoved into him’mer hands. “Hea gave me this.” He’er said, hoping that would be explanation enough.

“Yes, and hea said hea’d be back in three days, didn’t hea?” The new doctor said thoughtfully, then shrugged one shoulder. “Well, I’ll leave you in ler care then.” They hefted their doctor’s bag up onto one of the small tables, and began pulling out supplies. To Night, they said, “I’ll have that ankle fixed up sooner than you can say ouch!”

“Ouch,” Null said wryly.

The doctor laughed good naturedly, then gestured for Cane and Star to come closer. “Well, come now, watch what I do, you two, and you, my good patient, as well. I want you all to see how we go about this, and I’ll explain as I go. There’s no such thing as too much medical knowledge! And make sure that if the fumoformis is awake, they’re watching too!”

She was, avidly leaning forward to see closer as Cane happily linked hands with Star as they stood to the side out of the doctor’s way, and followed along with the instructions on how to create a splint and cast.

Cane fingered the crystal he’er still held in his’ser other hand, feeling the inlaid silver, and wondering what choice Alba would make when the other doctor came back in three day’s time. It would be eight more episodes of pain for Cane while he’er waited.

It didn’t feel real – no one he’er’d spoken to knew of anyone who’d gotten infected with living smoke that had left before their reproductive cycle ended. Most infections lasted at least three years, but he’er’d had Alba for less than half a year. Could it really happen? Would his’ser suffering be allowed to end that easily? What about all the other people who’d been infected before him’mer, was it fair that he’er would get a cure when they hadn’t? The doctor had spoken of a town where the people chose to be infected by living smoke – how did they handle the pain? The mutations?

He’er slipped the crystal into his’ser pocket, and told him’mer-self he’er would get more information when the first doctor came back.

Until then, he’er would follow along with this doctor’s instructions, and try to remember at least some of the steps for splinting a broken bone.