#sent me spiraling ngl

[teddybeartoji]

Hiii Mickeyyyy 11, 45, 65, and 100 for the ask game!!! 💖

HIIIII SYAAAA:333333333 I HOPE UR DOING SOOSO GOOD MY LOVEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11. favourite myth?

it's reaallly really basic but i do like the trojan horse myth!!!!!!!!!! i like how silly it is!!!!!!!!!! like wdym these mfs built a massive wooden horse and then made some of their men get inside it and they then proceeded to 'gift' it to their enemies lmao aND WDYM THE ENEMIES JUST TOOK IT IN TOO HASHGAHGSAHGSA

45. do you believe in fate?

i think so yes. bc i really do think that some things just are meant to be while some... aren't. like you're meant to meet some people, you're meant to be in some places and you're meant to get some things buut i guess this mentality might be a way to cope a little yk lmao? bc if something goes bad then it's not as fun to think about how it was meant to be....

idk fate is a fucked up little thing actually... like if something bad does happen and you think abt all the things you could've done differently - some other bad thing would've happened. like you can't really escape it. you might save this one person now, but then somebody else dies some time later or smth.. (though i'm not saying you shouldn't try and go against it. i would definitely try to save my love even if that meant that something way worse might happen lmao)(#devoted)

but yeah.. in the end you have to remember that fate isn't always on your side...

okok melancholy melancholy now i really wanna mention the red string of fate thing too!!!!!!!!! bc i love that. that some people are just. connected, and meant to meet. i love the thought of soulmates!!!!!!!!! i think i'm digging myself into a hole here with all the oh sometimes you get to have a soulmate bc the world loves you but then sometimes your soulmate dies bc the world actually hates you i'm gonna have a meltdown over this actually let's just say that yes i believe in fate and yes i believe in soulmates and let's ignore everything bad that might come with these two things okay<3

65. do you have a Signature Outfit™?

yes......... and it's.................. literally just black jeans and a black hoodie😭😭😭😭😭😭IT'S COMFY AND IT ALWAYS LOOKS GOOD OK!!!!!!!!!

100. do you believe in something beyond death?

mmm not really I guess... i reckon that's just kinda bc i'm not religious yk? but i'm not really opposed to the thought of it bc the thought of reuniting your loved ones in a sunny flower field does sound really fucking nice... I'M BACK HERE AFTER ANSWERING THE FATE QUESTIONNN I REALLY WANNA BELIEVE IN SOMETHING BEYOND DEATTHHHH I WANNA BE REBORN AND THEN MEET MY LOVER AGAIN IN ANOTHER LIFEEEEEEEEEEE PLEEEASEEEEEEEEE I WANNA LIVE MULTIPLE LIVES WITH THEMMM IN DIFFERENT ERAS IN DIFFERENT WORLDDDS WE WILL BE TOGETHERR FOREVERR WE WILL FIND EACH OTHERRR

interview the mayor

[thedo0zyslider]

so this post by @/weaselishmcdiesel gave me some. ideas. happy grumbo tuesday

click below for gay people

It had started out as a simple meetup between friends, it really had. But the outcome of said meetup was defiantly more than a little friendly.

Grian had invited Mumbo over to his base, still eager to catch up with the mustached man after his return to Hermitcraft. The blonde had been buzzing with excitement since he woke up, unable to stay still for a second. He'd already had a reunion with the redstoner, and it was beautiful, but he hadn't seen his best friend in like, eight months! That was a long time, and Mumbo had yet to fill Grian in on his own adventures during those months. He'd heard plenty about what had transpired on Hermitcraft in his absence, it was time Mumbo recounted some of his own adventures.

Grian never really understood all of his friend's redstone talk, having listened to many over the years, but he'd grown to miss it. He missed Mumbo dropping by his base, ranting about whatever technical inconvinces that had fallen upon him that day while Grian listened, building as he listened to some of Mumbo's worse and most frustrated rants. It had served as bonding time for them, Mumbo learning to hand Grian whatever blocks he needed at the moment, since the taller was often ranting by his shulkers. Everything about those days had become familiar, a comforting routine that Grian had found himself longing for often in Mumbo's leave. Scar had stopped by for a few chats over the months, and he loved the brunette and his disney rants dearly, he really did, it just wasn't the same as Mumbo

He hoped, that by inviting Mumbo over, they could have one of those peaceful days again. Just with less angry ranting, and Mumbo preferably talking about the eight months away. The redstoner would probably have a few tales of how he'd been an absolute spoon, which Grian was very much looking forward too.

The two would have a different kind of meeting instead, one more passionate than peaceful. And it wasn't the angry kind of passion either.

Mumbo arrived around midday, and Grian was there to meet his friend almost immediately. Mumbo barely had time to put away his rockets before a small figure was running towards him. Grian practically ran into the other, with how fast he approached. Mumbo laughed, stumbling as he tried to keep his balance when Grian slammed into him. "HI MUMBO!" The blonde yelled, wrapping his arms around the taller's middle.

Mumbo returned his hug, arms coming to wrap around Grian's own torso. "You still miss me?" He asked through giggles, beginning to wriggle out of the embrace. Grian pouted slightly at that, but it was quickly replaced with a smile upon seeing Mumbo's face properly. His black hair was windswept from his short flight over, suit a little wrinkled and the corners if his eyes were crinkled up in joy. He looked quite nice like that, Grian had to admit. The sudden butterflies in his stomach could be thought about later, now was Mumbo time.

"Yes!" Grian squeaked, barely remembering that Mumbo had asked him something. "You were gone for eight months Mumbo, eight months! That's so long!" He turned his back to the redstoner, beginning to walk through the opening to his base. The taller followed him into his base with a few more giggles, the sound of Mumbo's laughter acting like music to the blonde's ears.

"Besides, you still haven't told me what you were up too during all those months!" Grian smirked, turning his head to look back at Mumbo. "We've told all about Hermitcraft!"

Mumbo blinked, before letting out a fond sigh. "Well, I guess that's fair." He said, seemingly preparing himself to tell quite a tale. "So..."

That was how the two spent god knows how long, just talking about whatever came to Mumbo's mind. They shifted all through Grian's base as they conversed, finally settling in a room the blonde didn't really remember building. Time became a blur, the duo enjoying some much needed time together as they sat and talked.

Grian wasn't sure how the next thing happened in hindsight. All he remembered was that he was teasing Mumbo about something he'd said, getting in the taller's personal space like he normally did. This time he'd apparently gotten too closer, now practically in Mumbo's lap where he sat.

Mumbo stared back at him somewhat awkwardly, blinking. Grian on the other hand was mortified, quickly scrambling away. He hadn't mean to make Mumbo uncomfortable and ruin the day completely.

A hand on his wrist stopped him, pulling him back. Grian looked back at Mumbo, slight confusion spreading on his face. The redstoner was looking at him, almost pleading for him to stay. Grian blinked in confusion, Mumbo moving closer. The position they'd ended up in was quite awkward, both of them shuffling into a more comfortable pose ad Mumbo wrapped him into another hug.

"Sorry about that.." Grian muttered, head gently resting on Mumbo shoulder.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong." His friend's voice was barely above a whisper, tone soft and comforting. "It's fine, really." He muttered, pulling back. Grian felt a wave of relief flood through him, watching as Mumbo sat back again.

They'd ended up in a arguably worse position than before. Grian was propping himself up off the floor, and Mumbo was now straddling him. The latter hadn't backed up much either and both their faces were very close. Grian's breath hitched slightly, watching as Mumbo's gaze wandered to his lips momentarily. His own gaze did something similar before meeting Mumbo's eyes again. Mumbo was looking at him almost needily, leaning in closer so their noses touched and breaths mingled together. Grian didn't mind at all when Mumbo leaned in even more, lips pressing against his.

He happily let Mumbo kiss him into the floor, the others tongue slipping into his mouth hungrily. He tugged at Mumbo's tie, loosening it, hands fumbling for purchase against Mumbo's suit. Grian's arms eventually came to wrap around the others neck, pulling them even closer. He whined when Mumbo pulled away, listening to Mumbo's amused huff as he tried to recapture the other's lips.

Lips were pressed against his neck instead, and Grian shivered at the sensation. He let out pleased sounds as Mumbo pressed kisses against his throat, trailing down to his shoulders as well, red jumper being moved off the side of his shoulder. Mumbo's suit jacket had ended up on the floor in the chaos of the moment, and he was now in an unbuttoned undershirt. A louder, more embarrassing noise escaped the Grian's lips when the taller bit down particularly hard, a bruise already beginning to blossom against his skin. He felt Mumbo smirk into his neck, counting to press even more kisses to Grian's skin.

The two were soon interrupted by footsteps sounding in the base, and a familiar voice ringing through the air. It was then Grian remembered he had invited Scar over as well, and the brunette was later as per usual. This was possibly the worst meeting to come late too after all.

"Grian? Mumbo? Where--oh my!"

Mumbo pulled away abruptly, face turning several shades of red when he saw Scar standing at the door way. He moved so he was no longer pinning Grian, now sitting on the smaller legs instead. It didn't help the situation they were in the the slightest, but it did give Grian some breathing room.

The blonde himself was flustered yes, but he could feel the smug look spreading across his face. Scar himself was also red, gaze glancing between the two of them in surprise.

"It's...not what it looks like?" Mumbo said awkwardly, even though it was absolutely what it looked like.

"I'll just erm, leave you guys too it!" Scar said, quickly shuffling out of the rom. Mumbo spluttered something above him, while Grian just laughed

"You could always join us, Scar!" He yelled after the man, giggling more when the sounds of rockets could be heard a moment afterwards.

"Grian!" Mumbo exclaimed, burying his head into the smaller shoulder with embrassment. Grian himself just kept giggling, content to lay there for a while. They could sort this out later, when he stopped wanting Mumbo's lips against his skin.

[adelaideandart]

So I wrote a poem about satosugu

Show me a tragedy that will shake me to the core Write me a romance so fierce it ends with war

Tell me a story how aquamarine eyes pierced the darkest soul How they filled it with infinite light Still, it was hungry for more

Cause you could think that he was doomed right from the start Beyond repair Ungrateful heart

But he loved him more than his lips were ready to admit And his heart was big enough to carry the belief that their story will go on even after death

And as his lover whispered please come back he turned his back on him and left without goodbye Feelings turned into a weapon love's a hostage, hands are tied And they still chase one another like shadow chases light

[birdo-is-here]

Here,, Have a quick Whole design, the static was very fun and i now want to draw it more often

Never going to recover from Time Machine Reprise 👍

[urmum-lovesme]

Angel Baby - Rafe Cameron x Kook!reader P8

pairing: Best Friend!Rafe Cameron x Kook!Best-Friend!reader

summary: Rafe and Reader have known each other since kindergarten, always side by side, the king and princess of Figure 8. So why now does he start feeling different towards her, when all she's ever been is his best friend?

a/n: Did someone say angst? I'm sorry but I had to :( Let's see, things are a little awkward cause Rafe couldn't keep it in his pants, our boy has a new competitor and well... it's a pretty nasty ending ngl. My poor poor y/n I just want to give her a hot chocolate and tuck her into bed. I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the interactions with my writing, it makes me so happy to share my thoughts with you <3

ENJOY YOUR NEW YEARS!!!! STAY SAFE I LOVE YOU ALL XOXO -Lula ♥

warnings: ANGST!!! mentions of rafe's mother who is dead, suggestive behaviour, finger sucking, mentions of giving head, mentions of slitting someones wrists.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three weeks had passed since Midsummers. Three long treacherous weeks, since Rafe let things go too far, since he’d taken a step he couldn’t undo. It made him ache with regret, the guilt gnawed at him, biting at his insides every time he thought about that moment in the car when he’d crossed a line he knew changed their friendship completely. Every time he saw her name on his phone or heard her voice, he felt the weight of that night pressing down on him all over again. It wasn’t just about the guilt of what he’d done, though that was bad enough—it was the way he'd let things spiral. He had buried himself in the family business, using it as the perfect excuse to avoid her. The demands of the Cameron legacy were endless, and it’d never been easier to lose himself in it. His father’s expectations were high, and with the constant pressure to maintain the family's image, finding a way to keep away from the girl was easy.

Avoidance had felt like the only answer, but tonight, she’d called him over to meet up. She didn’t specify only sent him a short message;

Princess  :  Get to mine at 4 please???

Princess  :  And if Ward tells you to work I’ll come over and slit his wrists :)

He knew she was fed up with his petty excuses, and he couldn't blame her. This was the longest that they’d been apart from each other, the last time being two years ago when she went to Bali for the summer, even then they’d talked every day.

He rang the doorbell as he stood on the girl's porch, hands shoved deep into his pockets fiddling with the empty gum wrapper, trying to relax, but there was no calm to be found. 

It's fine, she doesn’t know what you’ve done and she doesn’t remember the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n shoved the container into the little wooden basket, covering it with a red gingham towel. She’d realised that Rafe had been distant with her but she assumed it was his father’s fault. Truth be told she didn’t remember much from midsummers, the last thing being Rafe carrying her to the beach. It’s not that it worried her, she knew she could trust the boy, she always has. Yet the way he was acting with her, short answers, unanswered calls, it made her feel like she’d done something wrong. However, his absence worked in her favour as she knew Rafe didn’t know what she’d planned for the day, the only thing he got from her was a message telling him to come over. Just as she placed the basket near the door, there was a knock.

He raised his hand to the front door, and rapped his knuckles against the hard wood a couple of times again, hoping that maybe she’d forgotten and he could go home. He heard her footsteps walking towards the door, the sound of it unlocking before it swung open to reveal her standing there. His breath hitched in his throat as his eyes roamed over her. Her lips drew into a smile as she saw the boy standing there on the other side of the door.

Breathe 

“Hey angel baby.” She joked as she opened the door wider for him to come in. 

Missed you

“Hey princess” he replied, smiling slightly as he stepped through the door, the sound of it closing softly behind him.

Just stay calm, she’s clueless

“I’m actually ready to go.” She spoke up as she slipped her trainers on her feet breaking the silence between them, standing up straight as she grabbed the basket off the floor and her car keys which lay on the table near the doors. Her eyes landed on the boy standing by the doorway, shoulders at unease. 

“You look a little tense, you good?” 

Rafe exhaled, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, the motion awkward, almost unsure. 

“Yeah, just... long week.” 

He shrugged it off, though the words felt false. His father’s business had been a convenient distraction, but that didn’t make the guilt any easier to ignore. He should’ve stayed away longer-  for a brief second, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for this. Y/N, still holding the car keys in her hand, tilted her head, studying him. There was an odd quietness in the air, the kind that settled between them like an unsaid word. She could tell something was off. He was too guarded, too distant, and she had learned to read him better than that over the years.

"You sure?" She pressed, taking a small step toward him, her eyes never leaving his face. 

“I mean, if you’re not feeling it today, we can always—”

“No,"

Rafe interrupted quickly, a little too fast. He cleared his throat, forcing a more genuine smile this time. "No, it’s fine. Just... a lot on my mind, you know?” He raked a hand through his hair, a motion that felt more defensive than usual. He wanted to tell her. But he couldn’t. It was easier to shut down, to lie, to pretend nothing had changed, that things were still as they were before. 

Before everything had gotten well, messy.

Y/N didn’t seem convinced. Her eyes narrowed slightly, the concern evident, but she didn’t push it any further. Instead, she offered him a soft smile, the kind that always made his chest tighten, like she was silently giving him space without making him feel like a complete asshole.

“Alright,”

she said, finally breaking the moment, her voice lighter. “-oh wait…” she spoke up as she jogged quickly to the kitchen, grabbing something in her hand and slipping it secretly Into the basket. He watched her carefully as she grabbed the basket and her keys off the table, his brows raising in slight worry. Why did she have a basket?

“Ok.. I’m guessing you’re not telling me where we’re going?” he asked, as he followed her out to her car.

This is awkward

She shrugged her shoulders as she took the steps down towards her car, opening it up and placing the basket into the back seat, slipping into the driver's seat.

He rolled his eyes at her obvious closed off behavior and opened the passenger seat, getting into the car and instantly being engulfed in the familiar smell of her. He had to swallow down the lump in his throat as he settled, clipping the seatbelt in and turning to her slightly the girl speaking up before he had a chance,

“You’re being weird right now”

“No im not. I’m completely casual right now.” He mumbled out as he raised his brows, fingers fiddling with the buttons on the car, music soon filling the car. 

“You’ve never been casual Rafe. And I can tell somethings wrong because you’ve been acting weird ever since Midsummers”

Rafe’s stomach flipped at the mention of that night. He’d tried to block it out, bury it under layers of busy work and fake nonchalance, but Y/N had a way of bringing everything to the surface, whether he liked it or not.

Well shit

“Did I… did I do something wrong?” She asked, voice softer now as she turned to look at him, hands slipping off the wheel to rest in her lap.

For a moment, Rafe didn’t speak. He couldn’t. He was too busy trying to suppress the guilt that surged up, threatening to choke him.

He cleared his throat, trying to mask the panic clawing at him, then forced a shaky smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “No,” he said, his voice hoarse, like he was trying to swallow down the words that were begging to come out. 

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Y/N didn’t look convinced. She was too perceptive and definitely too smart to fall for his half-hearted reassurance. Her silence was enough of an answer, but when he glanced back at her, he saw the crease in her forehead, the slight downturn of her lips. She asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“I can’t help you if you don’t let me in, Rafe.”

He knew, deep down, that she deserved the truth, but there was something inside of him that just couldn’t let go. He closed his eyes for a moment, running a hand over his face in frustration.

“I’m fine,” he said, more firmly this time, “Really. Just... dealing with some stuff- family stuff.”

She nodded her head silently as the car hummed with the sound of the engine now, the road beneath them nothing but a blur as they drove, her eyes focused ahead, her fingers gripping the wheel again.

“Right well…” she licked her lips "well, can we stop with this awkward tension then?"

She let out a little laugh, trying to cut through the suffocating quiet. It wasn’t forced, but Rafe could hear the underlying edge of uncertainty in her tone, like she was waiting for him to meet her halfway. She was trying so hard to make this easier for him, so maybe it was time to get his act together. He leaned back in his seat, throwing his arm over her headrest,

"Sorry, I've been so moody lately. Think I’m about to get my period or something," he said to her as his hand came out to place over his stomach. Her hand left the wheel coming to swat the boy on the stomach, to which he let out a small ‘oof’.

“Don’t be a dick Cameron” she spoke out shaking her head, yet she couldn’t stop the smile from rising on her face. 

Much better.

“So where are we going anyways?” He looked away from the window to the girl as he leant back in his seat, letting his guard down now. 

“Listen. Can you just appreciate my effort Mr . ‘I need to know everything all the time’.“ She spoke back to him as her fingers tapped on the wheel along with the song playing in the background.

He rolled his eyes at her comment, a smirk pulling at his lips. He opened his mouth to throw back a snarky remark at the girl but was cut off, 

“Stop bitching Rafe”

She rolled her eyes at him as she turned off the main road, wheels grumbling against the stony road. The boy let out a huff as she scolded him, yet his heart fluttered as he looked away out the window, satisfied they were back to being themselves. As they drove Y/n’s phone buzzed in the cupholder, her eyes flickered down to the lit up screen before ignoring it and looking back up at the road, it buzzed again.

 Then again

The repeated buzzing of her phone in the cup holder caught the boy’s attention, turning the smirk on his lips into a frown.

“You gonna get that?” He asked quietly, turning to look at her, eyes taking in the way her fingers were starting to tap the wheel impatiently.

“No I don’t drive and tex-” she watched as the boy quickly snatched up the phone looking at the screen.

“Hey!” She protested. 

He chuckled slightly at her protest to his move, staring at the phone; it took him a second to register the name of the person blowing up her phone, frowning almost instantly, 

“Why is Cooper texting you?”

“It’s nothing.” She diverted the conversation. 

The truth was that her and Cooper had been talking more than she thought they would be in the past week, and Rafe’s absence, well she did miss him but it did make it easier for her to get to know the boy a bit better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the dance floor before she could protest. 

“Come on, we’re dancing now.”

Y/N laughed, stumbling slightly as he tugged her along. “I told you, I can’t dance,” she said, half protesting, half entertained. “I’m more of a ‘stay in the corner and judge the people who actually can’ kind of person.”

Cooper shot her a mischievous grin. “Oh, no way. You’re not getting out of this that easily. I’ve seen you at parties, Y/N. You’ve got moves.”

“You’ve seen me at parties?” Y/N raised an eyebrow, her voice playful. 

“That’s a little creepy, don’t you think?”

Cooper only shrugged as he pulled her along. “Creepy or not, I know what I’m talking about. You’re not fooling anyone. Let’s see you break out some of that hidden talent.”

Before she could respond, the boy spun her, his hand lightly resting on her waist as he twirled her around with more confidence than actual skill. Y/N stumbled a little, laughing as she tried to regain her balance. “I told you I can’t do this,” she teased, but her voice was light, the playful tension between them clear.

“You’re fine,” Cooper said, laughing too as he pulled her closer again. 

“Yeah, right,” Y/N replied with a smirk. “I think I might need a lesson or two.” She rested her hands on his shoulders, a hint of flirtation in her tone.

“I guess I could be convinced to teach you... for a price.”

Cooper looked down at her, raising an eyebrow hopefully to her as she spoke up,

“Oh yeah? And what’s the price?”

“Maybe your number…?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He raised his brows, now feeling an emotion other than guilt which seemed to disappear the instant he saw the boy’s name, .... anger, …jealousy? They’d been talking and he had no idea about it? 

He didn’t like it. At all.

His grip on the phone grew tighter as he looked at her, his eyes almost glaring,

“Bullshit”

“Jesus Rafe, I’m just talking to the guy. It’s not like I’m sucking his dick.” She rolled her eyes at him scoffing. His attitude from the moment they met this morning had been off and now it was just getting worse and it was starting to irritate her.

His eyes widened at her words, clenching his jaw to stop himself from saying anything stupid. The image popped into his mind again, of her on her knees, yet this time it was different because he hated it. 

“Well, it wouldn’t surprise me”

He said, his voice low, almost a growl, but heavy with sarcasm and bitterness. Y/N froze. Her mouth parted in disbelief, eyes wide.

“Excuse me?” she said, her voice sharp with confusion.

“You heard me.”

The words left his mouth with an edge that made his insides twist, but he couldn’t stop himself. He knew what he was saying was childish and irrational. But he couldn’t care less. If there was one thing he couldn’t do, it was accept the fact Cooper of all people was getting her attention and she wasn’t telling him about it.

She finally shook her head, the frustration clear in her voice. “What the hell is wrong with you, Rafe?” Her words hit him like a cold slap, cutting through the fog of his jealousy for a moment. 

“You’ve been acting weird all day, but now this? I’m just talking to him. He’s my fucking friend, okay? I didn’t know I needed your approval”

He wanted to apologize, to backpedal, but his pride kept him rooted to the spot. Instead, his thoughts simply spiralled, and before he could even make sense of what he was feeling, he blurted out,

“I don’t care if he’s your friend,” his voice tight, his frustration seeping through. 

“You didn’t tell me about him. That’s what I care about.”

“You haven’t spoken to me for three weeks!?” 

Her voice broke slightly on the last word, a mix of disbelief and frustration lacing it as she brought the car to a stop, shifting it into park, stopping just outside an opening of trees. She undid her seat belt. He got out of the car after her, irritation still thrumming through his body. He slammed the door shut with probably a little more force than necessary and followed her out into the trees. Basket in her hand she whipped around to look at him after she heard the car door slam. His jaw was clenched tight, his arms crossed across his chest as he stared down at her. Every bone in his body was thrumming with anger and annoyance, every cell in his brain screaming at him to say the stupid, irrational things he was thinking but instead he settled for shooting her a glare,

“And now you bring me out to the middle of nowhere. What are we doing out here?” He all but spat out.

“Can you not?” 

She spoke softer now, no longer angered by his fury but more upset, she’d gone out of her way for him and he was being cruel, incredibly cruel.

“I’ve tried to organise this for you because I've missed you. And you’re treating me like some shitty ex you don’t want to see.”

He was about to say something stupid again, but he bit it back before the words could leave. The disappointment in her eyes made his chest tighten painfully, but the jealousy and anger was burning through his chest, and he couldn’t get it to stop. 

“I’m sorry I just-” 

“-talk to me please?” 

“I’ve just been-” he looked at the girl, he knew he had to admit to her so he might as well tell her what’s been going on, there’s nothing else he could say.

“-struggling with my counselling” 

You’re a fucking liar 

“Oh...” she placed the basket on the floor, arms wrapped around the boy as she noticed him avoiding her. She rubbed his back slowly as she spoke,

“It’s okay i’m sure that there som-” 

You’re sick 

Her words faded, dissolving into a quiet hum in his ears. All he could focus on was the softness of her, her warmth, the way her body seemed to melt against his, trying to soothe him, to reassure him that everything would be okay; but the more she held him, the worse it got. 

“Right?” She looked to him head tilted slightly

What?

“Uh yeah.” He nodded back as he watched her take a step back from him, his hand came up to scratch the back of his neck, his skin having gotten hot under his touch. Although, however much he tried to push away the burning question he couldn’t stop himself and the words tumbled past his lips,

“Why are you talking to him?” 

He asked gruffly, slowly rubbing a hand across his face before looking down at the ground.

“Why can’t I talk to him Rafe.” She spoke with a gentle voice. 

What is going on right now 

“I just-“ 

“Can we drop this please?” She looked up to him “-it’s just going to ruin our day…”

Y/n was starting to think that the day was already ruined, maybe this whole outing was a bad idea, maybe she should’ve just taken him to the country club..? That would’ve been easier. The usual routine- drinking, mingling with people, keeping the conversation light and predictable. At least that way, she wouldn’t have to deal with this awkwardness, with his brooding silence and the strange, almost hostile energy he was radiating.

He’s being so… bizarre?

“Let's drop it..” He muttered out clearing his throat, breaking the silence which lingered between them. If he was going to be with her for the next few hours he guessed it was time he started being a little less, irrational. She nodded as she leant over to pick up the basket, head turning back to look at him.

“You coming?”

“I’m coming.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets, his muscles starting to relax a little as they walked deeper into the trees together. The rustling of leaves beneath their feet was the only sound between them now, the sharp crack of twigs beneath his boots grounding him in the moment. It was quiet, and for the first time in a long while, the air between them wasn’t thick with tension. Maybe it was the isolation of the forest or the way the sunlight filtered softly through the trees, but something felt less suffocating. Y/n occasionally bumped her shoulder into the boy’s as they walked, easing the tension between them. They walked a while out before she stopped him turning around and facing him.

“Okay so…”  She looked down to the basket in her hands before up to him rocking back and forth on her heels slightly.

“I kinda sorta need to like…. Blindfold you…?” 

She said, her voice trailing off. His brows shot up in surprise at the request. 

Blindfold? 

His mouth opened slightly as he tried to process what she was asking. The moment was so unexpected, so out of nowhere that his mind had to catch up with the words. His gaze flicked from her face to the basket she was still holding. 

“You wanna blindfold me?” He asked, an amused tone in his voice.

“Yeah…” She spoke out hand reaching into the basket and pulling out a silky scarf of hers which she held up. She had to purse her lips to stop herself from smiling. He chuckled as he watched her hold up a scarf, his eyes flickering from the item in her hands back to her face.

“Why exactly do you need to blindfold me princess?” He asked, eyes narrowed curiously.

“It’s a… surprise?” She spoke out as she placed the basket down onto the floor.

His eyes flickered from the basket on the ground, to the scarf in her hands and he took a step closer to her.

“A surprise” he repeated back to her, his eyes trained on the scarf she held up.

“So..?” She spoke out as she rounded to stand behind him placing the silk material in front of the boy.

He shook his head humorously as she stood behind him, hands gently touching his shoulders. He couldn’t help a slight shiver run through his body at her proximity, he leaned back slightly, his head tilting back to look at her,

“Alright, whatever you say..” He said quietly, more than a little bemused by the situation.She lifted the scarf to his eyes covering them and tying it gently.

“S’this okay?” 

He closed his eyes as the soft material of her scarf was placed over them. The sudden loss of sight made his other senses kick into overdrive, and he shifted in his spot slightly as every brush of her fingers felt heightened. 

“It's fine princess”

She let out a hum in response as she picked up the basket taking his hand and leading him forward. He felt the subtle pressure of her hand in his, her palm fitting so perfectly against his, his large calloused fingers intertwined with her smooth ones. He let her guide him forward, his eyes covered by the scarf meaning he had to trust her completely.

"Careful," she mumbled, her voice a soft and breathy as she guided him through the dense forest. He felt her fingers tighten around his for a moment, pulling him a little to the left, avoiding an unseen obstacle. They came to a stop and she dropped his hand slowly and turned to him, 

“M’kay you can take it off…” She said, her voice quiet, laced with an unspoken anxiety that she couldn’t quite shake. 

Rafe reached up and pulled the blindfold from his eyes. The cool air hit his skin, and briefly he blinked against the light, his vision adjusting slowly to the shift in brightness.

It took him a moment, but when his eyes finally cleared, he looked ahead—and then froze.

His gaze swept over the sight before him, as though he were unsure if he was hallucinating. They were standing in a small clearing in the middle of the trees, but the thing that really caught his attention was the small, weathered wooden structure standing in front of them, tucked away amongst the trees. It leant just slightly to one side, the paint faded the colors dulled by time. It wasn’t much with only a small set of steps leading up to its door, but there was something undeniably nostalgic about it. Fairy lights were strung lazily by the door, which was cracked open just a bit, inviting, like it had been waiting for them to return.

"Surprise," 

she whispered, and the boy heard the smile in her voice before he even looked at her.

This wasn’t just a hut. This was their hut.

No way

The one they had found together when they were kids, hidden away in the woods. The memories came rushing back with startling clarity, those summer afternoons when they would sneak away from everything, from the adults, to build their own little secret place to get away.

"How did you… " He stuttered out in amazement, his eyes flickering from the building back to her face.

“Took me a while.” 

She spoke as she took a step towards the door encouraging him to push it open. 

“Go on,” she said, a small, nervous smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “It’s just like we left it.”

He gently pushed the old door open, creaking loudly as the hinges moved, and stepped through the doorway. He let out a sound of disbelief as he stepped further into the hut, his head swiveling, eyes wide, scanning every familiar corner. She followed after him a few steps behind to give him space. The shelves were still filled with their old toys and colouring pencils in old faded tins, football and kite stacked all atop each other, old baby dolls sitting side by side, frilly lace dresses covered in layers of dust. Everything was scattered across the shelves, jumbled together as if time had forgotten to organize them. She walked over to the small table in front of an old rickety couch, its fabric faded and worn from years of use. She placed the basket she held on top of it as she watched the boy admire their childhood playground.

He was still in a daze, his eyes flickering across the familiar surroundings of the old hut, his mind awash with memories he hadn’t thought about in years.

“This is…” 

He paused, searching for the right words, though none seemed to quite capture the enormity of what he was feeling. 

“Wow,” He finally said, his voice tinged with amazement. He ran a hand through his hair, still a little shaken by how much this place had stirred inside him.

“I can’t believe you brought me here.”

She watched him as he stopped near the wall, his gaze settling on an old picture that hung there, slightly crooked, the frame worn with time. It was when they were all much much younger; Rafe, Y/n, Topper and Kelce all standing and staring at the camera striking silly poses. The girl had her hands up behind Rafe’s head, making bunny ears as she flashed a mischievous grin at the camera. The boy, in turn, had his tongue sticking out, eyes wide with that gleam of carefree innocence. Rafe’s breath caught in his chest as he took in the photo, a soft chuckle escaping his lips, he couldn’t help it. It was a sound of genuine amusement, a laugh that felt like a brief, joyful release from the weight he’d been carrying. He stepped closer to the picture, his eyes lingering on the faces of his friends, all of them so young, before life had gotten so complicated. He reached up, running a hand along the picture frame, looking at the dusty picture, his finger coming out to whip across the glass to see it clearer.

“We were so dumb.” 

He laughed again, but this time there was something bittersweet in the sound. Y/n watched his reaction, the tenderness in her gaze softening as she joined him by the picture. She could see the way his expression shifted, how the laughter had faded just slightly as he took in the nostalgia, the way his eyes lingered on the frame.

Y/n walked up standing closely to the boy as she looked at the picture above, her, Rafe and his mother. All three together, the older woman’s arms wrapped around the two kids with a wide smile as she’s crouched next to them holding them close. A small smile lifts on the girl's lips before her eyes flicker back to the boy. He felt her presence next to him so close their shoulders were pressed together. His eyes were on the picture, taking in his mother, all of them smiling together. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"I remember this picture" 

His voice was quieter than he intended, a low murmur as he glanced down at the girl. The sadness that settled in Rafe’s chest was something he couldn’t escape. Even now, all these years later, his mom's absence felt like a heavy, lingering shadow over everything.

“So do I.” 

She spoke softly and reached up without thinking, her hand brushing over his arm as she spoke. It was a small gesture, but one that carried a sense of comfort.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

June’s laughter was soft, musical, and it rang in the air, soothing, like a lullaby. Her arms were wrapped around her son, pulling him close to her; Rafe, barely old enough to appreciate the moment for what it was, squirmed a little in his mother’s embrace. He’d never liked posing for photos, always too restless to stay still, but by his mother’s side he seemed to calm.

“Come on baby, just one picture,” she coaxed gently.

Y/n stood off to the side, hands gripping wildflowers she had picked earlier, the brightly coloured flowers vibrant in her grasp. The woman, sensing the silent observer, turned her attention toward the small girl, who was still standing by the door of the hut, looking at them.

"Y/n, come on," she beckoned her with a warm smile. She hesitated for a moment, then walked forward, her small feet shuffling in the dirt as she came closer to Rafe and his mother. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but there was something comforting about the way his mother reached out to her, as if she was a part of their family.

“Look at those flowers,” June said, her voice light and filled with affection as she gently cupped the flowers in the little girl’s hands. “They’re so beautiful.”

“They’re for you,” 

The girl replied softly, her eyes lifting to meet June’s after lingering on the small flowers on the woman's dress. “I thought you’d like them...”

June’s eyes widened in surprise and delight, her heart swelling with gratitude. “Well, thank you, sweet girl,” she said, a hand resting on Y/n’s shoulder for a brief moment, the touch gentle and full of warmth before her finger pops out to ‘boop’ the girl on the nose, the child giggling in response. 

“These are perfect.”

Rafe, who had been watching the exchange between the two, let out a small smile lift to his lips. Something about seeing his mom with Y/n made him feel... content. He didn’t have the words for it, he was only six years old after all. 

June adjusted the camera sitting on the wooden steps near the door of the hut, then glanced at the two of them. 

“Alright you two, ready for the shot?”

Rafe, who had been shifting from one foot to the other, suddenly stopped and looked up at his mom with big, expectant eyes.

“Do I look good mom?” he asked, holding his arms out to the sides like he was presenting himself for approval. The woman couldn’t help but laugh softly, her heart melting at how seriously he was taking this.

 “Oh, you look great my handsome boy,” she said, her tone playful.

Rafe grinned, looking pleased with himself, June turning to Y/n with a teasing eye roll gesturing back to her son, the younger girl sending her a bashful smile.

June pressed the camera button, setting the timer, “Alright, on three…” then jogged over to the two children, kneeling down behind them and pulling them closer to her in a hug. Rafe wiggled a bit, trying to stay still long enough for the picture, while Y/n leaned into June’s side, her small smile soft and content. 

“Say cheese!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She was happy in that picture”

“She was always happy with you.” 

She spoke comfortingly before talking his hand and leading him towards the couch gesturing for him to sit down before she crouched down next to the basket pulling the towel off the top. He smiled slightly at her words before doing as she asked, the couch creaking slightly under his weight. His eyes flickered to the basket, watching as she pulled the towel off the top. 

“Close your eyes,” she spoke out as she looked up to him.

His corner of his lips twitched up her orders, he let out an amused hum before obliging, shutting his eyes tightly. The sound of a lighter clicking, once, twice filled the room before the couch dipped as she sat next to the boy.

“You can open your eyes,” she spoke ever so quietly.

Rafe’s head turned slightly towards her, his eyes flickered under her instruction, slowly opening his eyes to take in the sight in front of him. The girl sat next to him, plate in hand which held a small cake with 5 lit candles on top of it. It was lined with white icing and small cherries sat on each piped swivel of the icing around the cake. His eyes flickered to the cake in her grasp, the soft flickering of the candles making the her glisten in the dim room. 

"Is that for me?" 

He asked quietly palms feeling clammy. Y/n looked to the boy a sheepish smile on her face as she nervously spoke out,

“Um- happy 5 months clean.” 

...

She didn’t know if the boy even knew that she’d been tracking his progress. She cared about him, of course she did he’s her best friend, so when he’d told her he was stopping his relationship with the drug she observed him, although she doubted he’d noticed as she did so in silence. She’d noted each month that passed, a little star on her calendar, and now that she hadn’t seen him in a while, she thought it was a good idea to do something small to show him, that she had noticed. A wave of shock ran through him as she spoke out the words. He was stunned.

“You’ve been counting?”

He felt his heart start to thump harder in his chest, his eyes flickering from the cake to her face, slightly taken aback at the gesture.

“I-” she started to worry, overthinking that she’d overstepped a boundary, 

“I thought that I’d uh-”

His heart thumped harder against his chest, beating rapidly in his chest due to a mixture of shock, surprise and… something else, an emotion he couldn’t quite name yet. Y/n, noticing his hesitation, quickly began to pull back, her fingers fidgeting nervously around the edge of the plate.

“I shouldn’t have— I mean, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or—” 

She stammered, her voice quiet and unsure, a stark contrast to the warmth of the room. 

“I just thought it’d be... nice. You know? To mark the day.”

Rafe’s throat tightened. He hadn’t expected this, he thought, maybe foolishly, that no one cared enough to notice the small milestones he was too proud or embarrassed to admit to. But here she was. “Five months, huh?” He let out a low laugh, shaking his head.

“I didn’t even realize.”

Y/n’s eyes softened, a quiet relief settling over her features as she relaxed slightly. The tension that had gripped her melted, and she leaned back into the couch with a small exhale. 

"I’m proud of you, Rafe."

The words hung in the air between them. The phrase didn’t seem to fit him, it felt foreign, strange, like he was standing in a moment that didn’t belong to him. People didn’t say that to him. They never had. He’d spent most of his life either fighting to prove he was worthy of anything, or pretending he didn’t need anyone to tell him anything at all. His heart skipped again. It wasn’t the first time someone had said that to him, but somehow, with her, it felt different. More genuine. Less like a platitude and more like a truth. He smiled, a real smile this time, one that didn’t have to hide behind sarcasm,

 “Guess I should be proud of myself too, huh?”

Y/n's laughter was light and, like a soft wind brushing against his skin. “Yeah. You should.”

“Didn’t think I’d make it this far.”

Rafe shifted again, his chest feeling tight in a way he couldn’t quite explain. He wasn’t used to feeling like this—vulnerable, raw, with someone else’s belief in him resting so heavily in his lap.

She gave him a gentle smile, her expression tender.

“But you did.”

Now as she was sitting beside Rafe, hearing him speak those words, something inside her clicked. Her mind briefly flickered to her brother, and the wave of grief that had followed his overdose. In a strange way, she’d felt more connected with him today than she had in a long time. There had been no ‘five months clean’, no cake, no candles, they never had the chance; so being here with Rafe, celebrating his progress, somehow felt like a way of moving forward, a kind of redemption she hadn’t known she needed. Her heart tightened in her chest, and a lump rose in her throat as the weight of the moment settled over her. She had never told Rafe how much this meant to her, when he first told her he was going to quit she expressed her support, but never truly told him how much it mattered to her, not wanting to overwhelm him.

Now’s not the time for this  

She cleared her throat slightly looking down at the plate in her lap, lifting the plate up towards him passing the boy the cake, candles still flickering against the white frosting. 

“You should make a wish.”

“I’m not really the ‘wish’ type.”

 Rafe looked at the cake, his eyes rolling at the girl’s childlike antics, his lips quirking up slightly, he stared at the flickering flames for a beat, and Y/n could see him thinking.

“Maybe you should be,” she teased gently, nudging his arm with hers.

“I wish-”

“No!” 

The girl exclaimed loudly, cutting him off eye’s wide, “can’t say it out loud or it won’t come true.”

Rafe couldn’t help but raise his brows at her theatrics, “Alright, alright, relax” he said, “I’ll keep it to myself.” 

He glanced back down at the cake, the soft glow of the burning candles reflecting in his eyes. His mind wandered. He turned his gaze back to her, his lips parting slightly as if he was about to speak—but then he stopped. Instead, he let out a slow breath, his eyes tracing the outline of the cake.

I wish you knew how much you mean to me. 

Without waiting, he leaned in and blew out the candles with a quick puff of air, the small flames disappearing in a soft wisp of smoke. Y/n let out a little cheer- more of a giggle- an unexpected sound of pure joy. She clapped her hands once, as if the moment deserved a celebration.

“You made a wish and everything,” she teased, her voice light and playful now. Rafe’s chuckle was low, a smile tugging at his lips, 

“Guess I did,”

The girl next to him shuffled around in the basket on the table, 

“Don’t know if it’ll come true,” he added, “but I think it’s a pretty good one.”

Wonder what he wished for.

She pulled out two forks holding them up for the boy to see.

“Sooo.. d’you want some cake?” she spoke, Rafe chuckled again, his hand reaching out to take one of the forks, fingers brushing lightly against hers.

"I suppose we gotta try hmm?" he reached out and took one of the forks, before looking down at the cake in front of them, eyeing the little red cherries. She took the fork in her hand and digged it into the cake then held it up to the boy in an offering,

 “First bite?”

He looked at the fork in her hand, before looking up at her face, the eagerness in her eyes making his heart thump in his chest. He let out a small hum before he spoke out in a somewhat joking manner,

“Are you feeding me?”

“You got a problem?” 

She raised her brow playfully. He let out a small huff in response, his eyes flickering over her face. He let a slow smile spread across his face.

"No, I have no problem with that at all princess." 

He replied, opening his mouth waiting for the bite. She brought the fork towards him watching as his lips wrapped around it tasting the dessert piled on it. He held a gaze on her as his lips wrapped around the fork, taking a bite of the cake. He pulled the fork from his mouth, letting out a small hum as the sweetness of the treat coated his tongue. He let out a content hum, a small smile still on his face.

"That’s real good." He mumbled out swallowing, his eyes flickering to the cake on the plate in front of them.

“I’d hope, worked my ass off on it” She rolled her eyes teasingly at him as she took some of the sweet cream onto her finger licking it off letting out a satisfied hum. He couldn’t help but watch her lick the sweet cream off her finger. The action making his brain go slightly fuzzy and making his heart thump faster. The sight in front of him was so… innocent, but it was still making his brain buzz with something else. 

Stop that

"I bet you did princess," He said, eyes glued to her still licking her finger.

“Is it up to standard?” She asked as she watched him lift another fork full to his lips. He finished eating the bite of cake as she spoke, swallowing it down and licking the lingering sweetness from his lips. He hummed out a small response as he looked at her.

“Yeah, never knew the kook princess was a little baker.” 

She shook her head at his comment hand coming out to shove his shoulder. He grabbed the other fork again, his eyes flickering back to her face,

“Come here” 

She leant forwards at his request, as  he took his fork and ran it along the edge of the cake, scooping up some of the cream it was covered in, coating the end of the fork. He lifted it and held it in front of her mouth, an expectant look on his face as he watched her. She parted her mouth as he raised the fork to her, her lips wrapping around the sweetness coating the metal. He couldn’t help the sharp inhale he took as her lips closed around the fork, his heart thumping rapidly at the action. He pulled the fork slowly from her lips, a slow smile spreading itself across his face as he stared at her.

“Taste good?”

“Mmhmm.” She hummed back, “I should probably start a bakery, what about ‘The Sweet Spot’?" She questioned tapping her fork against her lip in mock thoughtfulness. Rafe’s face immediately lit up with amusement, his eyes widening like he’d just heard the most ridiculous thing. 

“The Sweet Spot?” he repeated, his voice humoured. “Sounds like a place where people go to get more than just cake.”

Y/n threw her head back with a laugh, but there was a glimmer of challenge in her eyes. “What’s wrong with ‘The Sweet Spot’? It's catchy!”

Rafe shook his head, trying to stifle a laugh. 

“Catchy?” he teased. “You’re setting yourself up for a whole different kind of clientele with that name.”

She shook her head finger taking some of the cake frosting on her finger, 

 “Hey you’ve got a little-” She smudged the cream onto his cheek letting out a giggle. He felt the cream hit his cheek and he let out a chuckle, looking at her with raised eyebrows,

“Really princess?”

She shrugged her shoulders playfully, licking the rest of the cream off her finger and popping a cherry into her mouth with a grin. He let out a small, somewhat incredulous scoff as he shook his head slightly, the amusement clear on his face. She was acting so innocent and yet… 

Stop

"You're a brat" He stated teasingly, a small smirk still tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” She raised her brow at him as she watched the boy wipe some of the cream off the cake and onto his finger moving it towards her, 

“Rafe!”

He let out a small huff of laughter, 

"Relax" 

He said in a somewhat innocent tone, but his eyes gave away his playful intentions as he held his finger up to the girl’s mouth.

Just as she moved forward to lick the cream off his finger the boy pulled his hand back at the last second, watching with a sense of satisfaction as the cream got smeared on her cheek. Her gasp made a small shiver run through his body, making his heart thump faster in his chest

“You have something on your face princess” He teased, the amused smirk back on his face.

“Rafe!” 

She exclaimed as she sat back from the boy in surprise. She suddenly moved forwards taking a large wipe of the cake onto her fingers and pushed it against his cheek, he barely had time to register her grabbing a handful of cake off the plate.

“Really Y/n?” 

He said with another huff of a laugh, his arm reaching around her waist, she squealed as he pulled her closer to her, smudging the cake all over her cheeks now, spreading it across her skin as a small grin appeared on his face.

“You look messy princess.” He said in an amused tone

“You're such a dick,” she laughed at him as she leant against the boy, his hand now covered in cake, the plate laying on the couch next to them. He could feel the cake getting smeared everywhere as she leant against him, but he couldn’t care less. 

“I’m a dick? You started this”

 He stated in a somewhat mock offended tone, his arm wrapped around her as they both sat there covered in cake. Y/n looked at the boy’s hand as he held it by her face, not wanting to get any of it on the sofa. He felt her look down at his outstretched hand, not wanting to dirty the sofa. His blue eyes met hers, his heart pounding so hard he could hear it vibrating in his ears. As he looked at her soft expression, he got a sudden idea. He mumbled out quietly,

“Open your mouth” 

She swallowed, looking from the boy's eyes, her gaze landed on his hand, long slender fingers with the white sweet cream clung to them, tempting and indulgent. As his hand lifted to her face and she parted her lips for him. He let out a small, shaky breath at her action. He slowly closed the distance, his long slender fingers pushed into her mouth, coating her lips and tongue with the sweet cream as his heart thumped in his chest. As her lips wrapped around his fingers, an inexplicable feeling of satisfaction surged through him at the feeling, her hand came up to wrap around the boy's wrist; she didn't know what was taking over her as she moved.

What am I doing 

He let out a hum as her mouth worked on his fingers, a soft sound catching in his throat as he caught her eyes looking up to him. He moved his fingers slowly in and out past her lips, feeling her tongue on his skin, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He felt a shiver of pleasure run through him, igniting something in his brain. He could barely think, his brain fuzzy and filled with sinful thoughts of her. She swirled her tongue around his fingers, licking off the cream that coated them savouring the taste, her breathing had picked up ever so slightly as she looked up to the boys eyes who were boring into hers. He groaned softly at the feel of her tongue caressing his finger, and his eyes met hers.

Fuck me 

He could feel heat begin to build within him, a mixture of desire and need. His eyes watched her intently, taking in the sight of her. Rafe swallowed slightly, his throat suddenly dry as he pulled his hand away from her, a light string of spit momentarily connecting his finger to her lips. The girl leant forwards slightly, her eyes flickering down to his lips and he was suddenly hyper-aware of her closeness to him, the way he could feel her breath on his skin. Rafe’s breathing was now ragged and uneven, and he felt himself leaning closer to her, his gaze falling to her lips, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from them. He imagined the way they would give under the pressure of a kiss, soft and inviting, making it harder to concentrate on anything but the urge to close the distance between them. He wanted to trace the line of her lips with his own, feel their warmth, and taste whatever sweetness lingered there. He could feel the tension between them, thick and electric, and he knew he should pull away, he should stop this before it went too far, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not when he wanted her so badly, not when he could almost taste her on his tongue. 

Y/n felt light headed as she pushed herself closer to the boy, her hand resting on his upper thigh as her gaze darted up to meet his eyes, inches away from his face. Rafe could feel the heat radiating off her skin.

“Y/n” 

He mumbled out barely audible as he watched the girl’s tongue dart out to wet her lips. He could feel his resolve weakening, the reason and rationality fading as the pull of desire became harder and harder to ignore.

He wanted her, needed her… in a way he never had before.

What the fuck am I doing.

What am I doing?

This is my best friend

Yet even as her conscience screamed at her she didn’t pull away, she wouldn’t, she’d wanted this for too long. 

The sight and the sound of her slightly breathless made something inside Rafe stir, the line between best friends and something more beginning to blur. The realization of what they were doing suddenly hit him, a pang of guilt mixed with desire flowing through him. She was his best friend, she was supposed to be just his best friend, nothing else. He couldn’t do this.

“We shouldn’t” 

Her heart dropped to her stomach as she heard him speak out. His words hung in the air, the space between them suddenly feeling miles wide. She felt sick, and she couldn't tell if it was because of the amount of cake she'd consumed or because her best friend, whom she'd been pinning over for years, didn't want her. Her breath caught in her throat, and she could barely move, as if the air itself had thickened, the boy sat back slightly putting distance between them.

 -what? 

The confusion crashed into her like a wave. Her mind scrambled for some explanation- anything to make sense of what had just happened. Had she misread something? Had she been too obvious? The nagging feeling that she might have let her feelings show too clearly, too soon, clawed at her, but that didn’t make sense. He’d leaned in. 

He had leaned in. 

He felt his heart sink as he’d pulled away from her. 

Fuck 

He watched as she sat motionless, her eyes searching for his, his stomach twisting and turning at the sight. He wanted her, more than anything, but he couldn’t risk ruining what they had, their friendship, the last stable thing in his life. He felt guilt coursing through him. 

She blinked, trying to focus, but her mind was in a fog. She could see him, sitting back slightly, his gaze lowered, the distance between them growing, and it was like the walls around her were closing in. She couldn’t breathe. 

Is he rejecting me?

Her throat tightened, and she almost choked on the lump that formed there. No, that wasn’t possible. Not after everything. After all the years of being close, of leaning on each other, laughing, sharing moments—this wasn’t supposed to happen. This was meant to be her moment. She had dreamt about this so many times, imagined it in a thousand ways. 

But never like this. 

He watched her expression, seeing the flash of disappointment and pain in her eyes. He didn’t want to hurt her, he didn’t want to push her away, but he couldn’t give in, he couldn’t do this to her

He didn't do relationships, he never has…

He felt his heart sink as she sat up suddenly. He watched as she shook her head, his stomach twisting and turning at the sight. He wanted her, more than anything, but he couldn’t risk ruining what they had, their friendship, the last thing connecting him to her. He felt guilt coursing through him. 

“Look at me princess”

He tried to sound firm, but there was a hint of hesitation in his words, desperate for her to look at him. 

“No. No you're right-” 

She cleared her throat, grabbing the kitchen towel off the table and wiping her hands off the sticky cake, lifting it to wipe her cheek, before passing it back to the boy without looking at him.

You’ve fucked up

He felt his heart tug at the sound of her voice, the lump in her throat making him feel guilty. He felt sick with the whole situation. Rafe let out a breath, he knew she was lying, he could hear the shakiness in her voice; he took the towel from her, watching as she purposely avoided looking at him, and began wiping his face and hands off as well.

“Y/n.” He muttered out quietly. 

She had to close her eyes momentarily to regain her composure, her back still facing him, she let out a silent breath and opened her eyes as she turned to the boy.

“Rafe, it's fine. You're right.”

He watched her for a long moment, her features composed but distant, like she had built some invisible wall between them. She didn't move, didn't say anything after that for a long time as she placed the forks and left-over cake back into the basket. The silence stretched between them uncomfortably. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, his voice broke the silence,

“You’re my best friend” 

He said it like a confession, almost like he was trying to convince himself of it, trying to hold on to the one truth he thought he could trust. Y/n froze for a second, her fingers still gripping the handle of the basket. She could feel the weight of his words sink deep into her chest, where all the other unsaid things had already gathered. She stood from where she sat next to him forcing out a smile,  

“Yeah of course- and you're mine.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The drive back was silent. Not the comfortable silence that usually lingered between them- no, this one felt different. 

Tense, discomfiting, awkward. 

Neither of them was brave enough to break it. Y/n’s hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly, her knuckles white, her posture stiff and forward-leaning, as though if she moved even slightly, she might shatter. Her eyes stayed fixed on the road ahead, her focus unwavering, as if she was trying to ignore the weight of the boy sitting beside her. Rafe sat in the passenger seat, his body turned slightly toward her, his heart twisting in his chest. He’d never felt so conflicted, so confused, so sick all at once. He wanted to reach out to her, to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come. And even if they did, he wasn’t sure if it would make things better or worse. 

His gaze drifted to her, taking in the tightness in her shoulders, the subtle strain in her posture as she tried so hard to hold herself together. His chest ached, and the desire to speak, to make it better, was nearly unbearable. But the words felt trapped, like a dam that was ready to break. He couldn’t bring himself to say them. 

"Do you want me to drop you home?" 

Her voice cut through the silence, monotone, cold, as she kept her gaze fixed firmly ahead, as though the road were the only thing she could handle looking at right now. The shift in her voice, in her demeanor, hit Rafe harder than he expected. It stung in a way he couldn’t describe but he knew he deserved it.

“Yeah.”

He mumbled, his voice barely audible against the low hum of the car’s engine. The word felt too small, too inadequate, but it was all he could manage.

The sound of the indicator filled the silence between them, the rhythmic clicking marking each turn on the route she knew so well. The road to Tannyhill was embedded in her memory, but tonight, the familiarity of the journey did little to ease the tension in the car. When they finally came to a stop in front of the estate gates, the silence stretched, once again- heavy and suffocating. She leaned back against the seat, her shoulders sinking as if the weight of the drive had finally caught up to her. Licking her lips, she pursed them briefly before clearing her throat. The words she wanted to say stuck, tangled in her chest. Her gaze flicked toward him before retreating, hesitant.

“Thanks for… Thanks for coming today.” 

She finally managed, her voice unsteady. He watched her carefully, his own heart tightening at her tone, she wasn’t looking at him. He swallowed down the sharp pang in his stomach and nodded.

“Course.” 

He muttered as glanced at her again, but her face gave away nothing. She shook her head suddenly, a small, sharp movement, her hands gripped the steering wheel again, her knuckles whitening. She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes. The sound of his seat belt unbuckling cut through the silence, followed by the soft creak of the door opening. He stepped out, standing just outside the open door, the cool air hit him, but it wasn’t enough to cool the heat rising in his chest. Guilt mixed with longing clawed at him, the rawness of it almost unbearable. He glanced back into the car, his hand resting on the frame of the door. She still wasn’t looking at him, her face illuminated by the soft glow of the lights on the dashboard of the car.

“I-” 

“I-”

He started, his voice barely more than a whisper, she echoed, her voice overlapping his, pulling his gaze back to her.

The word hung awkwardly in the air.

Finally, she looked up, her eyes meeting his for the first time. The corners of her lips twitched into a small, tentative smile- a fragile thing that barely held together. He froze, caught off guard by the flicker of emotion in her face. She hesitated, her grip loosening on the wheel as she allowed herself a moment of vulnerability. There was so much she wanted to say, but the words felt too big, too heavy to voice. Still, she knew if she didn’t speak now, the distance between them might never close.

“I don’t want this to… change us.” 

She said softly, her voice breaking slightly. Her smile faltered, but she held his gaze, hoping he could see what she couldn’t quite put into words. He felt horrible for putting her in this situation and making her question their friendship.

 He wished he could tell her he didn’t want this to change them either, but he did. He was lying earlier, he wanted more than just friendship from her. He wanted to be more than just her best friend.

His breath hitched at her words, and for a moment, he didn’t know what to say. 

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right,” 

He said finally, his voice stiff, he nodded slightly, more to himself than to her, as if trying to convince himself of the truth in his own words. 

Fucking say something to me 

She blinked at him, her brows furrowing just a little, unsure what to make of his response. 

“That’s all you’re gonna say?” 

“What do you want me to say?” 

He shot back, his tone sharper than he’d intended. He winced at himself and softened immediately, running a hand through his hair. 

“I mean… I don’t know what to say.”

Her lips pressed together tightly, and she exhaled through her nose, her gaze fixed on the dashboard. 

“Yeah, well… neither do I,” she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

The silence that followed was suffocating, the awkwardness palpable. He stood there, half-in and half-out of the car, shuffling his feet against the gravel. Every second stretched uncomfortably long.

“We’re friends Y/n. That’s all we’ll ever be.” 

He gestured vaguely between them as he spoke. He didn’t even believe what he was saying, but he told himself it was for the best.

What are you talking about?

Stop talking 

Y/n didn’t respond immediately. She didn’t say anything at all. Instead, she slowly glanced at him, but only for a second- just enough for him to catch the faint shimmer of tears in her eyes before she quickly looked away.

“Right…” she whispered, her voice strained and hollow.

He opened his mouth to say something else, anything to fix it, but no words came, he let out a sigh, hand rubbing down his face.

“I’ll see you later,” 

Rafe said, his voice trailing off, she didn’t speak, didn’t move to look at him, instead she let out a small hum of acknowledgement. Her head finally turned towards the sound of the car door shutting. She sat in the driver’s seat, gripping the steering wheel so tightly her hands were sore. Her eyes followed him as he walked up the path to his house, his steps slow, the porch light flickered on as he reached the door, casting a soft glow around him. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, glancing back toward her car for a moment. Her breath caught, her heart foolishly leaping in her chest, hoping- praying- he’d come back and tell her it was a mistake, that he hadn’t meant anything of what he’d said.

But he didn’t.

He turned back to the door, pushed it open, and stepped inside.

She sat frozen, staring at the now-empty porch, her mind racing and her chest tightening. Her lip trembled and her vision blurred as tears pooled in her eyes. She blinked hard, trying to push them back, but it was useless as they slid down her cheeks. A sob broke past her lips, filling the silence that had pressed down on her for the past few hours. She slammed her hand against the steering wheel, her whole body trembling as the tears came in waves. Her forehead dropped onto the wheel, the cold leather pressing against her skin as she shook with the force of her crying.

How could she have been so wrong? So embarrassingly, painfully wrong?

“We’re friends Y/n. That’s all we’ll ever be”

She thought he’d cared—really cared. She thought there had been something between them. All those moments they’d shared, the late-night conversations, the way he’d smiled at her, the way he made her feel seen when no one else did- it had to mean something. The answer was glaringly obvious now, and it made her feel sick. Of course, it hadn’t meant anything to him. Not the way it had to her. She’d let herself believe in something that was never there.

Her sobs grew quieter, but they didn’t stop. Her chest ached as she sat there, her nose blocked as she sniffled. She hated herself for thinking he could ever see her as anything more than a friend. Her tears soaked her cheeks, and she wiped at them furiously, her hands shaking. She felt stupid, exposed, and humiliated. She let her head fall back against the seat, staring up at the ceiling of the car, her breath coming in shakily. She looked back toward the house one last time, the darkened windows staring back at her like empty eyes. 

And for the first time, she wondered if holding onto him was worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @evermorx89 @bellaed1t @user381953 @lovemanheim @loves0phelia @yourcrackleflame @kundaquarius @matthewswifeyy @pillowprincess4him @lilithblackkk

[macbethsymphony]

charlou my love! I'm about to invade your askbox with all my horny thoughts. Dont' you dare answer them all at the same time, I know you're busy <3

Ok so! As you know I'm rewatching Wano and you know that gif of Marco's mouth? (sent it to you I don't know how many times). Anyways it sent my mind spiraling into what if Marco was angry with you and it just made him snap? My pretty usually composed bird just losing it? I bet he'd fuck good hehe

love ya! -M✨

Millie bb!!!!! I was gonna keep this one really short but you made it spiral out into something almost complete!!!! How dare you?! (jk love you for it)

It's this gif, right? ngl it sends my mind spiraling into unholy territory too

You're infuriating

Marco x fem!Reader

Summary: You’re angry at Marco and he’s angry at you and you fuck. It’s that simple ;)

tw: MDNI, 18+, nsfw, rough-ish angry sex, fingering, p in v sex

wc: 3.2k

It was a well-known fact that the first commander of the Whitebeard Pirates was nearly impossible to anger, notoriously difficult to rile up. Countless people had tried and failed to provoke him. But you? You didn’t even have to try, didn’t have to lift a single finger to bring him to the edge of madness.

"Do you even realize the risk you took back there, yoi?" Marco's voice thundered through the narrow corridor leading to the infirmary, every word laced with barely contained fury.

The stomps of your footsteps against the wooden floor echoed loudly, matching the volume of your voices and punctuating the escalating tension between you. Each of your step left a small imprint of blood, the pain in your leg raging but ignored as wrath blinded your senses.

"I had everything under control," you shot back, your own tone rising in defiance. "Until you—" Abruptly, you halted, turning around and jabbing your index finger into his chest with force. "Until YOU decided to fucking swoop in."

Marco's eyes blazed, his jaw clenched so tightly the muscles twitched visibly. "Under control? You call that under control?" he retorted, his voice dangerously low. "You were inches away from becoming sea king feed, and you think that's control?"

The infirmary doors loomed ahead, your destination within reach but forgotten, the tension between you crackling like electricity. "I sure as hell didn't need your heroics," you spat, words dripping with bitterness. "I had it perfectly laid out, and you ruined it."

“Ruined it?” Marco scoffed, his expression darkening. "Your plan nearly got you killed. Again." His statement hung heavy in the air, the weight of his frustration palpable. “When are you going to learn to fucking listen to me, yoi?”

Listen to him? That made you see red. "Listen to you, Marco?" You stepped closer, and he instinctively stepped back, his eyes widening at the pure rage in yours. "You are not MY commander. Ace is." You looked him up and down, a sneer twisting your lips. "I don’t have to listen to a single word you say, pretty bird." The usually playful nickname was now laced with venom as you spat it out.

He regained his footing, stepping forward as you stepped back, the anger in his gaze blazing harsher than you'd ever seen. He started to speak, but you turned on your heel, determined to make your point, your quick steps leading you toward the sanctuary of the infirmary.

"Oi, get back here," he yelled after you. "I’m not done, yoi."

"Oh, fuck you, Marco." You shouted. "As I said, I don’t have to listen to you."

Marco's frustration boiled over. With a swift motion, he grabbed your wrist, yanking you back to face him. The sudden movement brought you chest to chest, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body.

“You will listen to me, yoi,” he growled, his voice low and threatening, his breath hot against your lips.

You laughed in his face, a rich, bitter sound. Fucking asshole. With your free hand, you unclasped the holster at your side, expertly cocking one of your guns and pointing it right at his face.

“Unhand me right now, pretty bird, or I swear I’ll fucking shoot.”

His grip on your wrist tightened, his eyes boring into yours with an intensity that made your breath catch. A manic smile broke on his lips. "You wouldn't dare," he whispered, his voice a mix of challenge and something darker, something that sent a shiver down your spine.

Your finger twitched on the trigger, but you didn’t pull it. He took a step forward, then another, and another, until he had you flush against the wall. His free hand shot over your shoulder, and he leaned close, effectively trapping you in.

“You will listen to me, yoi,” he repeated, his lips brushing yours.

Your heart pounded in your chest, a mix of anger and something you’d never admit to.

Fucking asshole.

The adrenaline still surged through your veins, the proximity, the heat of his body, the intensity in his eyes—it all combined to create a heady, intoxicating tension that made it hard to breathe.

“You think you can intimidate me, first commander?” you whispered, your voice full of insolence. You cocked your head back, looking down at him from your low vantage point. You slid the nozzle of your gun against his neck, across his chest, pointing it at his crotch. “It’s your last warning, pretty bird.”

For a heartbeat, neither of you moved, the air between you charged and electric. Then, with a sudden, desperate urgency, he crashed his lips against yours.

It was a violent collision of emotions, a raw, unfiltered exchange that left you breathless. Marco's lips were demanding, his grip on your wrist unyielding as he poured all his pent-up anger and passion into you. And you responded in kind, matching his intensity with your own, all teeth and tongue, clashing and almost snarling into it.

For a moment, everything else drifted away—the battle, your argument, the constant push and pull between you. Your hand fell to your side, gun forgotten and all that remained was the heat of his body pressed against yours, the taste of his lips, and the desperate need to assert your own power in the midst of his.

But you were nothing if not defiant. With a sharp twist, you broke free of his grip, shoving him back hard enough to make him stumble. Your eyes were blazing as you leveled the gun at him once more, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps.

"Don't think for a second that you can just kiss me to shut me up," you snapped, your voice trembling with fury.

Marco wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes never leaving yours. There was a wild, dangerous light in them, a reflection of your own intensity. "And don't think for a second that I won't do it again, yoi," he shot back, his voice low and rough, a deadly promise that shattered the careful balance between the two of you. Slowly he stepped towards you.

Fucking asshole.

You retreated, each step a painful reminder of the battle that had just ensued, leaving smears of blood on the wooden floor that turned into dark smudges on the sterile tiles of the infirmary. Marco's deliberate footsteps echoed behind you as he closed the door, the latch clicking ominously in the small, quiet space.

Locked in a silent standoff, your eyes defiantly held his, the air thick with a volatile mix of anger and desire that pulsed between you. You leaned heavily against the cool surface of a nearby medical cabinet, swallowing hard against the rising tide of pain. The throbbing ache in your wounded leg grew more insistent, a stark contrast to the adrenaline high still coursing through your veins.

Gun held steady, your aim unwavering over his heart, Marco advanced with a dangerous calmness that belied the tension in the room.

“Put the gun down, yoi,” Marco growled, his voice a low, menacing rumble that ignited a primal response deep within you. “I know you won’t shoot.”

Your narrowed gaze bore into his, finger twitching with a tantalizing urge to prove him wrong.

“Not a fucking chance, pretty bird,” you shot back, words edged with defiance. “Not until you fuck off.”

As the barrel of your gun hit his chest, you could see light blue flames grazing his skin.

You scoffed.

Fucking asshole.

He wasn’t taking any chances, huh?

“You won’t shoot, yoi,” he commanded this time. There was an unusual sharpness in his gaze, condescension thick in his tone as he emphasized each word. 

And you hated it.

"You don’t get to order me around." Your finger tensed against the trigger, and as his hand moved to the barrel to push your gun away, you squeezed it.

It all blurred together. Bullets streaked through the air, passing through the haze of blue flames, burying themselves in the wall behind. In a swift motion, he disarmed you, gun falling with a loud clang on the tile. His grip on your wrist was so tight you felt the bruises forming, his other hand tangled in your hair, wrenching you back, your own fingers shooting to his forearm to keep your balance. Your body arched against the cabinet, and he closed in, looming over you, his ragged breaths brushing against your brazen smile.

Fucking asshole.

Your pulse pounded in your ears, drowning out the chaos of your mind as Marco pinned you against the medical cabinet with a ferocity that you didn’t know he possessed. You liked that look in his eyes. Unbridled fury suited him well.

“You fucking shot me, yoi,” he shouted in your face in bewilderment.

“I wish they’d been seastone bullets, you asshole,” you snarled.

He didn’t flinch at the harshness of your tone. Instead his lips curled into a predatory smile. As the shock subsided, amusement and lust swirled and mixed with the anger plaguing his features.

His tongue met your lower lip, then his teeth, taking all the time in the world, relishing the power he held over you in the moment.

His hand in your hair gripped harder, pulling you back further, nails dragging against your scalp. He wasn’t kind and the pain made you gasp, and he didn’t waste the opportunity. Your eyes fluttered close as his lips found yours and his tongue darted in, dominating yours.

The heat of his mouth melded with the anger still simmering beneath your skin, igniting a firestorm of desire that you fought to suppress. But resistance proved futile against the raw intensity of his touch, the taste of him searing into your senses.

Fuck.

Your legs felt weak and not because of the gaping wound on your thigh. The familiar dizziness of lust was starting to overtake the edges of your mind. A muffled groan escaped your throat, half defiance, half surrender as he deepened the kiss, devouring your response with a relentless hunger. His body pressed into yours, every line and angle hard against your own, a testament to the storm of emotions raging between you.

His hand left your wrist, and slid down your side, hairs rising in the trail of his touch. You struggled against the overwhelming pull of him, the magnetic force that drew you closer even as you fought to regain your composure. His fingers found the hem of your shirt, tracing upwards with a deliberate slowness that set your nerves alight.

As his touch grazed the curve of your breast, you let out a low, involuntary moan, the sound mingling with your ragged breaths. Your hands, no longer restrained, buried themselves in his open shirt, nails digging into fabric, pulling him somehow closer still.

He moved your head back, exposing your throat and his lips trailed along your skin. His hand roamed down to your hip, then to the front of your pants, fingers deftly undoing the buttons. He stopped at the lace of your underwear.

"Tell me to stop," he murmured, a plea whispered against your skin, his breath hot and tantalizing. The grip on your hair loosened and you slacked against him slightly. "Tell me to stop, yoi, and I will."

“Oh, fuck you, Marco,” you mewled into him, words muffled as your lips found his again. 

With a growl of approval, he pressed himself closer, his hand slipping past the edge of your underwear. You bucked against his touch, a dangerous need driving you forward.

He took his time, tips of his fingers dragging up your slit, gathering your arousal. He teased and relished the desperation slowly etching on your features.

As you opened your mouth to complain, his fingers found their mark, and you let out a broken cry, the sensation sending shockwaves through you. Marco's touch was skilled, knowing exactly how to unravel you with each deliberate movement.

"Fuck, Marco," you gasped against his lips, your hips moving in time with his rhythm. You felt his fingers enter you, his palm delightfully dragging along your clit. 

Oh gods. You felt your legs start to shake, the sweet promise of rapture so near.

He drank in your whines and mewls, lips moving lazily against yours, his focus entirely on you, fingers working you closer and closer to the edge. His gaze seared in the image of pleasure twisting your features into his mind. So pretty under him. 

The world suddenly ceased to exist, the only reality the heat and intensity of his touch, the way he made you feel alive and on fire all at once. A sharp cry escaped you as you came, leaving you breathless and trembling in his arms.

He quickly turned you around, the edge of the cabinet digging uncomfortably into your abdomen. You dimly heard the rattle of glass bottles and whatever instruments were locked in there, but it didn’t matter. He rolled his hips against yours and you could feel how hard he was against your rear. Suddenly you were ready to go at it again, craving to feel him inside you and you needed it now.

"Fuck me already," you demanded, impatience lacing your voice as you turned to face him. The sight that greeted you made you instantly regret it. His lazy grin of victory made your legs into jelly, and the satisfaction in his eyes ignited a desperate longing within you, making you want to moan his name.

Marco's grin widened, and he leaned closer, his breath hot against your ear. "Always so impatient, yoi,” he murmured, his voice dripping with smug amusement.

You glared at him, trying to maintain your defiance despite the tremor in your legs and the pool of arousal he’d just left in your underwear. "Just shut up and do it already," you snapped, words wavering slightly.

He hummed, considering.

His hand trailed up and down your back, dragging your shirt, fingers brushing over your skin with deliberate slowness. Every touch sent a growing need to your core, heightening your anticipation. You let out a frustrated growl, your body aching for more. "I swear, Marco, if you don't—"

“If I don’t what?” His hands played with the waistband of your pants, still stuck against the curve of your hips.  He let them pool at your feet and as he dragged down your lacy underwear, his lips traveled along your neck. “There’s nothing you can do to me little feather.”

You weren’t aware of when he’d undone his own trousers, but you could feel his tip against your folds, your slick coating his length. Your hand shot to the edge of the cabinet for balance, a shaky moan escaping your lips as he pressed against your clit, against your entrance. Maybe it was the fact that you couldn’t see him, but he felt so big between your thighs and so frustratingly good.

You tried to back into him but he stopped you with a bruising hold on your hip. “Didn’t say ya could do that, did I?” he said as his hand tangled in your hair once again, pushing you forward, lifting your hips until you stood on tippy toes.

“I can do whatever I fuckin—” he started to enter you tortuously slowly. “Ah,” you gasped, he was stretching you so fucking much. “F-fuck.” Your thighs trembled and your knuckles went white as you gripped the edge of the cabinet with all your might. It was so fucking much.

“Ya can take it,” he grunted in your ear the strain of restraint evident in his voice. “Fuck that’s it. Be good for me, yoi.”

Once he was fully sheathed inside you, he stopped, recentering himself.

You could barely hear the soft unsteady laugh that escaped his lips through your own pants. His hand trailed from your ass to the curve of your spine, firing an electric shock to your core and your cunt twitching around him.

“So fucking wet, and warm and tight.” You could feel the satisfaction in his voice. “Who knew you could be so obedient, yoi?” He punctuated his statement with a slap to your ass that sent you positively keening under him.

You felt some of your slick drip down your thigh and your cheeks heated. You ached to feel him move. “Just fuck me already, Marco,” you pleaded.

He leisurely slid out of you, teasingly unhurried and you felt the absence of him, the growing need to feel him fill you again. He let out a low chuckle as he sensed you spasm against his tip, your body telling all you stubbornly kept to yourself, begging for him in your stead.

“Look at you, yoi.” He palmed your ass roughly, making you wait. “You’re dripping to the floor.”

He slowly pushed back in, the friction against your walls making the world around you go blurry. You were grateful for his hold on you as his pace gradually picked up, entirely unable to trust your own legs. You shook beneath him, completely claimed, your moans sticking at the back of your throat, but he still frustratingly teetered right at the edge, never enough to allow your orgasm to build.

“Please, Marco,” you keened, your voice a high pitch cry you didn’t recognize. “More.”

He snapped his hips at your demand, turning his pace hard and brutal and it was suddenly too much. Every drag of his cock made you see stars, shattered your breath. You sobbed out his name in a desperate plea but instead he brought his fingers to your clit.

The moan you let out was obscene, only enhanced by the squelching noises and Marco’s forceful grunts. You were certain that something had broken in the cabinet, the sound of glass loud but it was evident neither of you cared as he somehow increased his pace.

Your body sought to curl upon itself but you were trapped and it was all too much. You were aware he was almost just as close as you, his erratic thrusts and the way he bit into your shoulder clear indicators.

The world seemed to fade around you and you were suddenly lost in the moment. Every sensation was amplified, the intensity of the waves of pleasure washing over you consuming you. As the tension built to a breaking point, you cried out his name, your body trembling with rapture.

Marco followed soon after, his own climax a fierce, shuddering release that left him breathless and spent. He held you close, his forehead resting against the damp skin of your neck, both of you struggling to catch your breath.

"You're infuriating, you know that?" Marco muttered, his voice a mix of exasperation and amusement.

He placed a kiss on your shoulder before backing off. You whined as you felt him pull out, felt his seed along your thigh. Your legs gave out and he quickly pulled you into his arms before you could hit the floor.

“Real infuriating, yoi,” he repeated, bringing you to one of the infirmary beds.

You smiled as he sat you down and as he made to retreat, you dragged him to you by his shirt. "Right back at you, pretty bird," you replied as you kissed him softly.

It was tender this time around and he cupped your cheek, thumb tracing soothing circles.

“Let me clean that for you,” he murmured, eyes looking at the wound on your thigh. “Wouldn’t want it to get infected, yoi.”

Masterlist

[toringo]

i’m OBSESSED with your anti tulpar comics, i’ve been rotating them in my mind nonstop for the past few days! how do you think a!curly feels about a!jimmy?

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

You have no idea how happy it makes me to know, that people really enjoy those. I know it's not even my au, but I've been genuinely hyperfixating on it for some time now, and making up my own lore (obviously the creator doesn't mind, they said it's all up to interpretation).

My take on A!Curly's opinion of A!Jimmy and some A!Curly background and hcs:

He thinks Jimmy is weak, pathetic, and simply put a loser. He's annoying, easy to push around, and doesn't put up too much of a fight, which is good, because - hot take - A!Curly is just as much of a pushover as the canon one.

He puts on a mean face and abuses his power to put down the others, to make himself feel better (feel important and in control), but if someone shows that they can snap back he loses the fight quite easily.

He's a people pleaser, the top student with no personal life kind. It's just that he's looking for approval as a 'tough leader' now. You know, the epitome of masculinity with nerves of steel and 0 sensitivity.

People usually need 10 years of experience to become a captain, he got the title in half that time, unlike canon!Curly (If someone asks how it was totally natural and due to his stellar performance! Don't question it too much!)

He doesn't have anything much going on back on Earth, also unlike canon Curly. He distances himself from his family (never truly satisfied with his achievements) and has no close friends. He sees no point in making any now that he spends most of his time in space. Doesn't really believe in love, either.

He didn't pass the psych eval twice in a row and is on Pony Express approved (questionable) antidepressants/mood stabilizers. Still fit to fly!

With all that being said; he considers Jimmy an easy target and abuses him primarily because of that. He can't stand this weakling stumbling around all pathetic and apologetic, while he has to work so hard to keep up his reputation.

It pisses him off that some guy just… doesn't care that others see him like this. Curly would care, it would break him if anyone thought of him like they do of Jimmy! So it's annoying that this janitor doesn't even try.

A perfect excuse to make himself feel bigger, too; it's not like he's a bad guy. This loser needs to learn, after all, that people like him don't survive in a place like this.

It gets worse when he starts realizing, that Jimmy is putting up a front and is actually way more cunning and capable than people think. Makes him feel on edge, paranoid. Like Jimmy is there to make him spiral; like he was sent by his higher-ups to check on him.

Then he finds out Jimmy is actually an emergency pilot (not on any papers Curly had access to). Yeah, he hates his guts.

When they enter their 'relationship' (it's mostly very humiliating hate sex ngl), Curly gets to know him a bit better. He still resents him, even more knowing that Jimmy can be a cold and cruel man under the mask of submissiveness. And even more, when Jimmy shows just how little respect he has for his captain.

But it's… a relief, having someone know how you really are, seeing your 'worst self'. He kind of feels like with every small thing he reveals to Jimmy, he gives up a bit more of control and gives him more ammunition, but well. Bitches be lonely.

So they have this weird thing going on, where Curly abuses Jimmy in front of the crew and during work hours, to unwind and reassure himself about his position and vent the abuse he experiences from HIS higher-ups, and Jimmy abuses him in private (for many, many reasons. Also bc he's sadistic).

They both think that if they hurt the other enough, he will stop hurting them. They're wrong. Although Curly gives up more easily, and Jimmy goes overboard quite a lot (as he has nothing to lose, is an obsessive weirdo, and was keeping his mouth shut about what Curly was doing for so long that at this point all the years of hatred are spilling out. He also has a personal vendetta against Curly, because he admired him and wanted to befriend him before he became a captain (and had any power over him) and Curly just started treating him like trash soon after getting the title).

YEAH sorry I will talk more about it later, sorry for being chaotic - they're just awful and disgusting and need to be put on some kind of meds (Curly's pills don't count)

[janaknandini-singh999]

~ What Heeramandi Could Have Been ~

I loved the aesthetics ngl but ig I don't even need to get started on the plotline. By the end it was a rushed chaos of jealousy turned patriotism with the tawaifs going for each other's throats but suddenly coming together and cornering the Britishers. SLB thought he has a series in his hands now so he can mix everything together but what ended up was kinda a mess. I feel like they could've made two seasons instead, focusing s1 on the feud between Mallikajaan and Fareedan with its finale episode of Fareedan realizing what extent she had pushed Mallikajaan over and the grave sin she had made her suffer (the assault by Cartwright and the british police) and then S2 for the nationalist awakening and unity of Heeramandi

Here are some plot changes/additions they could've had according to me:

• Lajjo: Honestly I feel her character was wasted when it was so intriguing. Heeramandi especially Shahi Mahal revolved around matriarchy and how women were not tied down by men but Lajjo's character was an exception where she was controlled by her one sided love for Zorawar. She suffered from erotomania delusional disorder and used alchohol to cope. I found myself calling her female Devdas and felt bad that she didn't have much role in the plot, killing her off too soon without showing much depths and repercussions adding to the story. How her decisions and addiction spiralled her down to her own doom but with a last salute

They could've maybe shown Lajjo being reckless and impulsive without Zorawar so rushing to the frontline during the nationalist movement to sacrifice herself first out of everyone because she had no other hope to look forward for in her life anyway

"Zorawar ne kabhi saath nahi diya iss tawaif ka but iss mitti ne toh hamesha diya"

A queen of darkness and heartbreak in her own right

• Alamzeb & Tajdar: They could've been soo much better. Alam had understood that Tajdar's duties were towards his country as well. She could've teamed up with him in his missions, being a strength not an obstacle in his responsibilities. Alam, Taj and Bibbo working together in the rebellion

And Tajdar didn't deserve to be beaten to death like a dog by the britishers in jail after being sent there by his own father, but an honourable one after accomplishing a mission and being remembered like Shaheed Bhagat Singh

"Inquilaab aur ishq mein koi farq nahi hain"

A pair of patriotic tragic lovers in their own right

• Qudsia: She could've had such a major role to play in the entire series. Being married into the influential nawab lineage of Baloch and being a woman of her own mind, she could've proved to have substantial value too. By her interactions with Mallikajaan, it was evident that they had known each other since long and shared some history, probably going back to the time Mallikajaan had dethroned Rehaana and began her climb on the ladder of power in Heeramandi. They could've shown flashbacks of young Qudsia and Mallikajaan meeting for the first time as well, both women from different backgrounds respecting each other since then and Qudsia reminiscing how things take a full circle now that her own grandson was in love with her friend's daughter.

When the nawabs boycotted the tawaifs of Heeramandi in the end by the orders of the British, Qudsia could've used her son, who was full of guilt and remorse anyway after indirectly killing his own son so would've finally given up and given in, to get his connections and influence to get hold on the other nawabs and then she could've given their crucial information to Mallikajaan and the tawaif freedom fighters. She could've done this to avenge her grandson, as a tribute to his bravery for their country. She could've raised Alamzeb and Tajdar's baby together with Alamzeb in the end

A queen of grief and sacrifice for the country and her grandson in her own right

• Ustaadji: He was such an impressionable character despite being in just a supporting role. The nath scene was especially pivotal where the actor playing Ustaadji reveals that during that part when Fareedan gifts him the nath, he started crying even after the scene was done and SLB was so moved by his performance that he gave him a special token. The nath is a symbol of dignity and Ustaadji being a queer character was touched by the gesture of recieving the nath especially during those times when hijras, eunuchs were prejudiced against by invaders and colonizers but not by tawaifs who knew what it was like to face disgrace in society. Ustaadji had also joked about doing a nath utrayi (official debut of a courtesan) of his own. He could've actually done that and the britishers and nawabs would've been bewildered. Ustaadji being a popular messenger and figure in the series also had had an intimate encounter with Cartwright so had the insider knowledge to breach in so in the end instead of telling Alamzeb to kill him, he could've himself delivered the final blow, as the Indian flag would've swayed in the background through the window of the mahal, asserting that his identity may have been queer but he was a part of this country too

A king of popularity and scheming in his own right

• Bibbojaan: Ik SLB has a knack for tragedy and ik tragedy was written all over Bibbojaan since she was introduced but. she. deserved. sm. more. simply because everyone needed her. And especially when hers was the role that contributed the most in the freedom struggle too. She was there for her mother, her sister, the other tawaifs, and finally her country. In the dazzling, venomous world of Heeramandi, she was a north star for everyone

After Hamid Sahab's death, she should've been the leader of the group, devising plans and executing them. And post independence during the chaos of partition, she could've been the one to unite the people of Heeramandi and Lahore, helping them all like she did

A queen of freedom and unity in her own right

• Mallikajaan: The main character of Heeramandi had so many nuances and shades within that it was so engaging to watch her. First of all it was confusing why she'd bridle her own daughter's happiness and passion but then lay her own honour on line to protect her. She knew the pain of being separated from the child when Imaad was taken away from her because of Rehaana so why did she do the same to Rehaana's daughter? Jealousy and revenge have their own ways I guess but by the end of it all Mallikajaan was in shreds and abruptly attempted on taking the side of patriotism to cleanse whatever evil deeds she had done all her life. Even after all this one could feel for her so her ending should've been better served as well

The tawaifs could've trapped the british army in Shahi Mahal after luring them in and then blown the place up. Mallikajaan would've no doubt not leave the Mahal even during the destruction, as a result sacrificing herself too but there's a deeper meaning here. The Shahi Mahal stands for power for which Mallikajaan fought, even killed and did what not, not even sparing her own people throughout the story. She did it to consume others but in the end was consumed by the all consuming power itself.

"Maine Shahi Mahal ke liye sabko tabaah kar diya. Ab yahi mera guroor hain, junoon hain, fitoor hain. Aur main bhi issi ke saath tabah hungi"

But the dignity that was stripped away from her by the british police is back in her eyes now as she stares at them all as she presses down the button of the bomb, whispering "Inquilab zindabaad"

This incident and Shahi Mahal instead would be known as "Mallikajaan's Majestic Massacre Mahal" and the biggest act of rebellion by tawaifs, sending chills down the britishers as she'd have power over them even after her death

A queen of power and twisted fate in her own right

• Waheeda: A fascinating character indeed, someone you'd have a love-hate relationship with. She was an isolated, intimidating tawaif who I can picture siding with the britishers and enemies to take down Mallikajaan, only for them all to realize she was using them for her gain

After Shahi Mahal blown up, she could've gone somewhere else in Heeramandi to establish her own mahal from scratch, finally becoming a huzoor

A queen of scars and quiet rage in her own right

• Shama: Fareedan could've given the keys of Khwabgah to her and made her that place's huzoor. She would've given a tough competition to her mother and fought for herself. Mallikajaan had once pointed out that only she had the deceit and tact rather than all her own daughters to be a true tawaif and yes she had the charm of a tawaif at such a young age so she could've manipulated the nawabs to boycott the britishers instead

A queen of a promising heroine of seduction in her own right

• Fareedan: When she realized what she had done to Mallikajaan, she could've been gradual about it because she was still close to Cartwright at that point. She could've used that advantage to extract more information and get close to other British officials, still pretending she's against Mallikajaan. That would've been a fatal attack planned with the tawaifs and freedom fighters after getting to know their weaknesses.

After the partition and realizing the futility of it all, she could've gone across the borders, already used to travelling the land when she was tricking and running away from husband to husband when she was a child, and could've built an orphanage so the children wouldn't go through what she went through as a child when she was sold off in Heeramandi

A queen of challenges rising above injustice in her own right

• Satto & Phatto: After Mallikajaan who they were loyal to, and after Fareedan, Alamzeb, everyone gone, they could've shifted out and opened a dhaba or something in Heeramandi, with Iqbal working for them now. The dhaba would've become famous and so would they and they'd look back on how every tawaif including them would dream of becoming the queens of Heeramandi and they were actually that now after so much of their trustworthy hard work that was unpaid before but is recognized now

The queens of loyalty and dreams in their own right

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

I wish we could’ve seen the Robot Masters show more that even if manipulated by Sgt Night/Obsidian’s propaganda, they still had moral compasses, like those moments they showed closeness to Mega Man relating to him like FM, DM & AM(wish Aki couldve been able to talk Wave Man down from his flooding & used their powers to fix up the damage). Ngl a lot of the time they def showed them very much enjoying the whole villain/terrorism role, not needing too much pressure to do malicious things, and while some had understandable motives & backstories like Fire & Drill Man’s, others have shown to get provoked rather easy(like Cut Man) to commit terrorism/takeover & not always specifically human motivated despite Obsidians whole “humans r the problem” stuff. I feel like they could’ve pushed alot more for Cut Man & his spiral(play around with mental issues & potential stigma about robots having that)

You’d think for robots who a lot are meant to be seen as just people who felt wronged & manipulated by Night into thinking the system’s wronged robotkind & need to do soemthing about it, they wouldn’t see themselves like genuine bad guys & enjoy that so much. If they were going for a “let them be evil”, embracing the titles people were already viewing them as, show them lashing out that’d be one thing but aside from FM & DM, a lot just kinda seemed really into causing trouble & even repeating the same kinda behaviors that hurt them without much reflection or meant to be a case of “chain of harm”. I remeber when Cut was sent to get Aki, guy legit asked if Night was using him/exploring his issues & when Night confessed was happy to hear. Like WHAT!?

I think it’d been cool to see them show more restraint about what they do, like when Obsidian declares wanting to destroy the light family, show them horrified of the idea of legit KILLING a man & two kids, I can imagine Wave Man would be horrified of the idea of killing sweet Rush.

Same with Daini/Namagem I wish we could’ve seen more moments of him legit being conflicted/genuinely not wanting to just hurt people. Especially with Light saying “no son of mine would ever cross that line” yet there’s been multiple occasions of the boy being pretty ready to cross it.

Imagine if Wave Man was jsut talked down of what he was doing, Aki-We all make mistakes Wave. And believe me in your place, I’d be doing everything I can to make things right, but look at this. This isn’t right a& u know Alligator wouldn’t think so etheir. So how about we clean up this mess, together ok?

I think Wave would make the perfect Token good teammate of the robot masters, being the nicest & most hesitant of doing crimes & more so just like having friends. Same with Cut, I feel like he should’ve had way more hesitance on hurting the Lights, especially after they fixed up his tree.

Imagine if in that ep Elec Man tricking Mega Man into thinking he wanted to change, actually did but after the events of Enemy of my Enemy, made Aki more paranoid & maybe accidentally pushes Elec away, leaving Obsidian to take him back, making him think no one will ever see him beyond just a “energy crazed criminal”.

When Drill Man was wanting to make that whole Drill World, I wondered if he was treating his workers like his dad did with him. Aki if he legit asked Drill Man about what he’s doing & how it’s different from what his dad wanted.

Drill Man-oh my gosh. IVE BECOMED MY FATHER! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Don’t get me wrong. Not against villains who just own the title, look at Blasto Woman, she’s def aware what she does ain’t illegal & that don’t stop her, it can def work. Especially if it could be a case of them just embracing the role society gave them, “want a big bad robot, well show you that!”. I just wish we could’ve seen more moments of them showing reflection, hesitance as they were once just regular people with regular lives, most wouldn’t be immediately ready to commit robo-terrorism. Make it clear that in the end, a lot of these big bad bots are just very confused & hurt people who fell into the wrong support when they had little to no where else to return to. Imagine if for the battle at the lighthouse when Obsidian made it clear what he was willing to do to the Lights, for the Masters to actually listen to Mega Man & stand down. Only for Obsidian to make Namagem use his Hypno Powers to brainwash them to fight, like how he brainwashed the Good Guild in Gilded Cage.

I also really wish we could’ve seen them bond, grow connections like Wave & Fire Man did. Show them atleast benefitting being together, having true people to relate with. Like have them bicker & argue but show them grow soemthing between them, like a found family.

What do u guys think? What would u have wanted to see with the Robot masters? I’d love to know?

[oldiesstationlover11607]

Gladly taking you up on your smut requests omg??? The last one you posted was so good !! I absolutely LOVED the good day Clancy fic it was amazing. so I had a vague idea of a Clancy x reader fic where it starts out with fluff then leads into smut? My idea is that Clancy had broken the reader out of Dema and was now helping her adjust to life outside of the city. She's a bit nervous around him because of how ambitious he is and how much of a risk taker he is. She feels like with how firm he is with his decisions and how quick he is to act out plans, it's dangerous for her. She's just scared to get caught by the Bishops and returned to Dema. She ends up telling Clancy about all of this and he comforts her through her doubts and anxieties. With how much time they spend together while Clancy is helping her adjust, they end up getting pretty close and realize that they're actually a lot more alike than previously anticipated and they bond from it. Thennn you can go from there how you'd like ^^ idunno I've never requested fics before so idk if this is too much or not LMAO You can change it up however you like if you end up doing it!! I'm just itching for more Clancy x reader content really lol -🩷✨

Scared - Clancy x Reader - Smut

Warnings: Fluffy smut hehe

Word Count: 2438

A/N: I love writing lore fics ngl 👀 Also love that we've got new anons coming in! That was a great request :)

Clancy had always been a whirlwind of energy, an enigma of rebellion and daring plans. He’d been that way in the city but the second he stepped out of the walls he’d gone full tilt. From the moment he helped break me out of Dema, I had felt a tug of nervousness in my chest. I wasn’t quick like him, I wasn’t bold like him. He moved so quickly, his mind always calculating the next step, never stopping to rest for long. His intensity filled the camp as he conversated with the Torchbearer and while it was what had saved me, it also worried me. Clancy was unpredictable, reckless at times, and his ambition seemed limitless—qualities that made me feel like we were constantly on the edge of being caught, dragged back to the nightmare I had barely escaped. Hidden at the bandito camp, where the city’s grasp could not reach. The silence of Trench was disorienting after a life in Dema and I still wasn’t used to the freedom. The thought of it often sent me spiraling, making me wonder if this new world was really safer, or if it was just a ticking time bomb leading us down a path of being dragged back to Dema by the bishops. 

Clancy had seemed to notice I wasn’t coping well. His piercing gaze had fallen on me more than once, sizing me up, always quietly observing. I could tell he was holding back, waiting for me to come to terms with this new life on my own but it never happened–my worries growing heavier with each day. 

One night I found myself sitting near the fire, staring into the flames that Torchbearer had ignited. Clancy sat on the log next to mine, looking down at the notebook everyone knew he kept his plans in. The pen in his hand scribbled frantically as he spoke to himself quietly. My heart raced as I watched him, the feeling of helplessness clawing at me. What if he made a mistake? What if we didn’t move quick enough and we were caught? I couldn't take it anymore. 

“Clancy,” I said softly, walking up to him.

He stopped, looking over at me, his brow furrowing in concern. “Yeah?”

“I’m worried about what we’re planning. I don’t trust that we’re safe,” I admitted, my voice shaking slightly. “You’re so–so confident with every decision you make. We’re taking risks without thinking twice, and I’m… I’m terrified. What if the bishops find us? What if all of this was for nothing?”

For a moment, Clancy didn’t respond, his intense brown eyes studying me. Then, slowly, he moved across the log, allowing me to sit next to him. His presence, though comforting, also made me feel more vulnerable. The firelight flickered against his face, casting shadows in his dark hair, making him seem almost otherworldly.

“I know it's a lot,” he said quietly, his voice softer than usual, losing some of its usual bravado. “And I get that you're scared. You’ve been through hell in Dema. I know what it’s like to be afraid of them. The bishops... they have a way of getting into your head, making you think there’s no way out. But trust me when I say they don’t control you anymore.”

I shook my head, struggling to explain the storm inside me. “But you don’t understand. I feel like we’re still running. Like at any moment, they’ll find us, and it’ll all be over.”

Clancy’s eyes softened, and his hand reached out to rest on mine. I froze at the contact, not sure what to expect. But his touch was gentle, grounding.

“I do understand,” he said, his thumb tracing small circles on my skin. “I’ve been living like this for a while now. Always on the run, always looking over my shoulder. It’s not easy, and it never will be. But you don’t have to carry all that fear alone.”

I looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time, I saw past the recklessness, past the daring confidence. There was something deeper, something raw. He wasn’t as invincible as he made himself seem. He had his own scars from Dema, his own demons chasing him. And in that moment, I realized how much alike we were, despite my fears.

His hand squeezed mine lightly. “I’m here. You’re not doing this alone anymore.”

The vulnerability in his voice melted the walls I’d built, and I found myself leaning into him, letting his warmth pull me in. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close, and I let out a shaky breath, resting my head against his chest. His heartbeat was steady, a rhythm that seemed to slow the chaos inside me.

“You don’t have to be like me,” he murmured against my hair. “I don’t expect that from you. Just be you. We’ll figure the rest out.” I closed my eyes, letting his words sink in. For the first time in days, I felt at peace. His arms around me, the quiet of the cabin, the crackle of the fire—it all felt... safe. Safer than I’d felt in a long time.

Time seemed to blur as we sat there together, the tension between us shifting. I felt myself relaxing into him, my fingers absentmindedly tracing the lines of his chest through his shirt. His body was solid, grounding, and I felt a strange sense of comfort in his presence. But something else stirred, too. A closeness that hadn’t been there before, or maybe had been, but I hadn’t let myself acknowledge. I lifted my head to look at him, our faces inches apart. His gaze, normally sharp and calculating, had softened. There was something in his eyes now—something vulnerable, open. My breath caught in my throat.

Neither of us spoke. We didn’t need to. The air between us had changed, thick with unspoken tension. Slowly, almost hesitantly, Clancy’s hand moved from my shoulder to my cheek, his thumb brushing my skin in a way that made my heart race.

My pulse quickened, my body reacting before my mind could catch up. I leaned in, closing the distance between us, my lips brushing his softly at first, testing the waters. His breath hitched, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he kissed me back, his lips firm and warm, as though they’d been waiting for this moment as much as I had. The kiss deepened, the fire between us growing with each passing second. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as his arms wrapped around my waist, drawing me into his lap. The warmth of his body, the way he held me so tightly, so possessively, sent a shiver down my spine.

“Clancy,” I whispered against his lips, my voice trembling with need.

“Tent. Let’s go to my tent,” he muttered, picking me up bridal style and carrying us over to one of the larger tents in the campsite. Lucky for us the floor of his tent wasn’t too hard, the blankets he’d stolen from the city making a comfortable barrier between the dirt ground and us. 

He pulled back just enough to look at me, his eyes dark with desire. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice low, rough with restraint.

I nodded, my heart pounding. “Yes. I need this. I need you.”

That was all it took. With a hum of approval, Clancy’s lips crashed into mine again, more urgent this time. His hands roamed my body, exploring, claiming. The world outside faded away, the Bishops, Dema, all of it disappearing as we lost ourselves in each other.

Clancy’s lips were relentless now, the hunger between us building with every passing second. The intensity of it made my head spin, my body aching for more. His hands, strong and warm, gripped my waist as he pulled me impossibly closer, my legs straddling his lap. I could feel the heat of him through the fabric of his clothes, his arousal evident against me, and it only stoked the fire burning inside me.

His hands slid under my shirt, his fingers tracing the bare skin of my back, making me shiver. The sensation sent a wave of electricity through me, igniting something deep and primal. I gasped against his mouth as he tugged at my shirt, pulling it up and over my head in one swift motion, tossing it aside without a second thought.

Clancy's eyes raked over me, dark and intense, his breath coming quicker now. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, his voice low and rough, “and smart, and strong, and brave.” His hands cupped my breasts through the thin fabric of my bra, his thumbs brushing over my hardened nipples, making me arch into him with a desperate need I hadn’t known I was capable of.

I moaned softly as he kissed along my jaw, down the column of my neck, his lips hot against my skin. His hands were everywhere, touching, exploring, claiming me in a way that felt both overwhelming and exhilarating. My fingers tugged at his shirt, wanting to feel his skin against mine, needing the barrier between us gone.

He obliged, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it aside. The sight of him—strong, toned, and so undeniably real—made my pulse race even faster. I traced the lines of his chest with my fingers, marveling at the heat of his skin, the way his muscles tensed under my touch. I leaned in, kissing the curve of his collarbone, tasting the salt of his skin, reveling in the way he groaned softly, his hands tightening on my hips.

Clancy’s hands moved to the button of my jeans, and I lifted myself slightly to help him as he deftly undid them, sliding the fabric down my legs and discarding them in the growing pile of clothes. His hands gripped my thighs, pulling me back onto his lap, his hardness pressing against my core through the thin material of my underwear. The sensation sent a jolt of pleasure through me, and I couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped my lips.

He looked up at me, his eyes filled with lust but also something deeper—something tender, almost reverent. “You’re sure?” he asked again, his voice barely more than a whisper, as though he needed to hear it one last time.

I nodded, my breath shaky but full of certainty. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

With that, Clancy’s hands slid beneath the waistband of my underwear, pulling them down and leaving me completely bare before him. His gaze darkened as he took me in, and the heat in his eyes sent a thrill through me. He shifted beneath me, his fingers brushing over my core, teasing, testing. 

“You’re so wet. Is all this for me?” He teased, bringing my slick to up his lips and sucking it off his fingers. I nodded desperately, my hips instinctively rocking against him, craving more.

He didn’t make me wait. His fingers found my clit, circling slowly at first, building the tension inside me. I gripped his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin as pleasure began to coil tightly in my belly. Clancy watched me with a hunger that matched my own, his touch both gentle and demanding, as though he knew exactly what I needed.

I was lost in him, in the sensation of his fingers, the heat of his body pressed against mine. Every touch, every stroke sent waves of pleasure crashing through me, and I could feel the tension building, spiraling higher and higher until I was on the edge of breaking.

“Clancy,” I moaned, my voice breathless, desperate.

He pulled his hand away, and I whimpered at the loss, but before I could protest, he shifted beneath me, undoing his own pants with a swift motion. The anticipation, the knowledge of what was coming, made my heart pound in my chest. I watched as he freed himself, his erection hard and ready, and my body ached with need. Giving his cock a couple tugs, he slipped on one of the few condoms he’d stolen from his draw back in Dema when we escaped. He lifted me slightly, positioning me above him, his eyes locked on mine, seeking permission one final time. I nodded, my body trembling with want, and slowly, he lowered me onto him, inch by inch, until he filled me completely.

The sensation was overwhelming, a delicious mix of fullness and heat that made me gasp, my hands clutching his shoulders for support. Clancy groaned, his grip on my hips tightening as he held me there, letting me adjust to the feel of him inside me.

“God you feel so good Y/N.”

“Shit,” I seethed, feeling my wall stretch and clamp around him.

For a moment, we were still, the only sound between us the ragged breaths we shared. He pressed his lips to mine, capturing the moment in a passionate kiss that took my breath away. I placed a hand on his chest as I slowly began to move, rocking my hips against him, finding a rhythm that sent sparks of pleasure through me with every movement.

Clancy’s hands guided me, his touch firm but reverent, his gaze never leaving mine as we moved together. The connection between us was undeniable, an intimacy that went beyond the physical. I could feel it in the way he touched me, the way he held me like I was something precious.

As the pleasure built again, faster this time, I could feel the tension rising inside me, coiling tighter and tighter with every thrust. Clancy’s breathing grew ragged, his grip on me tightening as his own control began to slip.

“Clancy I–I’m–” I couldn’t manage to get the words out, groans escaping my mouth between each pause.

“I know baby girl, I’m here. We’re safe. Cum for me,” he murmured, his voice rough and commanding, as he reached down to rub circles on my clit–that was all it took.

With a cry, I shattered around him, the pleasure ripping through me in waves that left me breathless, trembling in his arms. Clancy followed moments later, his release spilling into the condom.

For a long time, we stayed like that, wrapped in each other, our bodies still trembling from the aftermath. The world outside was quiet, the threat of Dema and the Bishops fading into the background as we held each other close.

In that moment, with Clancy’s arms around me and our hearts still racing in sync, I realized something. I wasn’t just free from Dema—I was free with him.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[sistersinster]

Question to all of my fellow hierophiles, priest-desirers and other flavours of blasphemers:

How did you find out you were a hierophile? Where did it start for you?

(Spoilers ahead for The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco!)

I read The Name of the Rose about a decade ago for a book report towards the end of high school. Yeah yeah, the pages detailing Adso's affair with the girl are definitely more worn out than the others, but the passage that really got me was Ubertino using the statue of the Virgin to talk about divine beauty to Adso. He points to her breasts and Adso blushes like the teenage boy he is and that sent me spiraling into fantasies about young monks and friars being so starved of touch they develop a sexual obsession with the Virgin. Still hot ngl, the thought of them floating somewhere between lust and divine love when they look at her.

[limeade-l3sbian]

Ngl I am spiraling a bit after reading your "couldn't really come to terms with my sexuality and naively glamorized being taken advantage of by a woman" post. I am bi but I didn't realized I could be attracted to men until my 20s so in my teens I was just focussed on all the homophobia thrown at me (early 2000s were hell) and yea I was heavily attracted to older and more dominant women. My attraction to men turned out to be a non-starter and the few times I acted on it it was horrible. So I worked through the trauma that gave me and came out of it as what the girlies call "febfem" these days. But i never worked through why I mainly fantasize about women taking advantage of me as well. And that this fantasy started way before I ever experienced trauma from men etc. So it's probably because I had issues with internalized homophobia as a kid/teen. I never confronted it as an issue because no woman ever hurt me irl and no woman ever took advantage of me irl. My relationships to women and the sex I had with them has always been healthy. Even though I fantasize and long for something less healthy sometimes. The older I get the more I think I should maybe work through that? Luckily the things I fantasize about are way less bad than what I had on my mind when I really loathed myself for being ssa/gnc/etc. But I feel like a hypocrite sometimes when I argue against kink culture and bdsm while theoretically still being very much okay with the thought of a woman taking advantage of me. It's gotten better over the years automatically as I got rid of some self hatred and internalised homophobia but I never addressed it as an issue. Despite it probably being one

Well, I can't to your own experiences but I will say that that phase in my life also came from some level of low self worth. Not being conventionally attractive growing up, I had the desire to be "so desired" that etc etc. So I didn't really feel that I "deserved" to be taken advantage of, but I twisted it as the ultimate form of attraction. Lesbian, bi, or straight, we all live in the same culture and my thoughts were not formed or influenced outside of it.

I think it was also that thing a lot of people do about lessening the extent of things within the context of women/wlw relationships. Abuse is bad, but it's not so bad if it's a woman doing it to you (false). Rape can be traumatizing, but if it was a woman I might actually enjoy it since the threat of extreme pain, callousness, and being killed are removed from the equation (false). When I slightly conceded to my sexuality, I was also in the thick of a porn addiction in high school. So I associated my sexuality with men, as if liking women is a manly trait.

It's a thick web of self realization and societal norms and implications. I think if you were going to work through it, I would urge you to both take it slow and allow yourself to consider the most uncomfortable of implications regarding your fantasies. To be clear: YOU are NOT a bad person for having these thoughts. You are a piece in the system as much as anyone else and its influence is woven into everything.

I made that post because I never realized how many other ssa women had this happen to them as well, and I think the fact that that one post sent you into a spiral means that it is worth not necessarily normalizing, but acknowledging and working through as a community so that other women can either skip over it or know how to combat it when those feelings arise.

[dollfaceirene]

50 DAY SC CHALLENGE: UPDATE 1

SO it's finally time for the first update of the 50 Day Self Concept challenge that i started to improve my mindset!

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟏: so i listened to some new SC affirmation tapes that i found on youtube and relistened to my SC playlist and i've noticed a calmness in my mindset ngl. I just felt meh about my mindset. 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟐: icl i've seen a sense of calmness in my mindset which is good. Been affirming i was a master shifter and could shift on command (becuz respectfully, i fcking can lol), i've noticed when i was on call with one of my friend's friend, i was actually really talkative & funny, my mum is nicer to me, i feel soo good 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟑: so i saw some video of some shiftoker that i have been keeping up with recently and she minishifted after her 2nd day of reprogramming her subconsciousness and that made me spiral and cause a dip in my mindset because "she was making more progress in her 3D than me" and i started having feeling of jealousy and such. Regardless, i kept persisting even though i lowkey felt shitty and then near the end of the night, i listened to some SC affirmation tapes & shifting subs 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟒: ever since seeing that video of someone minishifting on their 2nd day of their mental diet, i’ve just been wavering thinking “why not me?” “how long until its my turn” and its just sent me in some spiral. It doesn’t help that lately i’ve been just home all day so i get bored very easily and start wavering on my self concept aswell. Idk, but i just need to pick myself tf up and stand up because if i keep wavering, ill never get out of the cycle of persisting in my SC and being a master shifter, focus on the 3D then start affirming the opposite. Nuh uh! because i promised myself this year ill shift and no more fucking excuses because if other people can do it then there is absolutely no excuse to me doing it 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟓: So after reading a really eye opening and wake up call loa post on tumblr at 12AM, i decided why tf was i allowing myself to become a victim of the 3D when its the effect and my 4D is the cause?? So i kept persisting in my affirmations and woke up feeling sm better. Overall, i manifested some stuff and even something didnt go my way in the 3D and i found it sm easier to not react to it.

[sometimeinspring]

Ngl I’m a little concerned for myself when The Heart Killers comes out seeing as First has yet to play a character that hasn’t sent me into a spiral of gender envy and that was without tattoos

[yourthirdparent]

OH MY GOD okay so a beloved follower of mine sent me an ask about my tristan mclean headcanons like in december but i accidentally deleted !!!!!!! the fuckcing ask !!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i'm making it a post. hope you don't mind. also sorry for the wait

most of my thoughts are things i can not share on this blog (this is the Normal blog for Normal things and not the fucked up torture i subject this man to on a regular basis. tbf i hardly post about it on the Bad Posts blog either but like still. can share it on ao3 though check out sleep by imjustheretoreadonefic (don't do that it's not good)) but you can ask about that (if you want, which you probably won't because it is not most people's thing lmao) on my sideblog, yourfourthparent!! BUTBUTBUT i do have some thoughts and headcanons and such that are at the very least decently presentable!!!!

starting off first: i think he's bi! i think he figured out he was bi when he was pretty young (probably somewhere in his teenage years, probably like 15 max) and when he was in his 20s he was very involved in the queer community (his 20s being. in the 80s. sorry.) and was like a big activist. that is until the curse.

the curse being him hitting his big break. stars in some film that wasn't supposed to really blow up but it like Fucking Smashed and suddenly he was like all those guys who do one role and then are suddenly in Everything. cuz he sure is in literally everything. once he starts blowing up ofc he's got folks to help manage his image and at some point they're like haha [lip bite] you gotta stop with that gay shit or straight audiences won't find you marketable. you're already native and folks can hardly handle that let alone you being an active queer activist. you gotta cut that shit out so you can be the next batman or whatever. and tristan's like Well at least i'll make money to support myself and my dying father!

newsflash his father dies of cancer before he gets a chance. tristan's doing his best to avoid thinking about his father's death so he moves out of oklahoma blah blah yk how it goes.

he has piper when he's 33 ! everything's set and he's settled and then piper comes along and like. he's alright. he can handle this. he can be a good father (he's white knuckling the bathroom sink while he says this)

yeah he's terrified of being a shitty father. he does his best to keep her away from the press and keep her Okay for the most part but in order to do that he doesn't get to see her much etc etc. you know. you've read hoo. bleh

when piper starts dating jason he's like Oh cool ! i am about to break down ! cuz like. hey man. he is so not prepared for the reality of The Passage of Time. wdym his daughter is 16. fym tristan's almost fifty. that's so fucked up how is this allowed.

anyways he and jason are like Besties (*shoving my Bad posts to the side*) like they're such good friends they hang out so often even after jason and piper break up they're just Hiding it then. like they have weekly chess meetings and they talk about books and their lives and jason concerns tristan So Much oh my god tristan is so scared for this poor boy What are those tattoos young man Who are these "wolves" that raised you What is this "legion" Are you in a gang Little private school boy are you in a gang. What do you mean your first language is latin.

ngl my obsession with tristan came from my obsession with jason. i made a post like ages ago about how silly it'd be if tristan was jason's gay awakening and i just kept. thinking about them hanging out. and it spiralled and now i'm insane about him sorry. jason will always be my number one but Oohhhhh tristan consumes me.

anyways live tristan reaction when he finds out jason's mom is beryl grace in the middle of showing jason and piper a million old movies (beryl is in one and jason sees her and immediately freezes and tristan's just talking through the movie (hes silly sorry he talks through the whole thing. piper actually likes it because she has a hard time following movies so tristan explaining everything is good but jason is vaguely annoyed by it. he loves tristan to death don't get him wrong it's just that he can't concentrate on the kovie with tristan spitting fun facts a million words a second) when he looks over to see if theyre still watching and he just sees piper fretting over jason who's looking at the screen with a thousand gard stare.

let's go misc things that i want to mention somewhere but don't really fit uhhhh

i have this idea where tristan used to be a drag queen. i don't have any of the details down not a single one but i think about him talking to piper and her friends about the old days when he was a queen. mentions something offhandedly about how he wants to wear more feminine clothing and someone's like "oh are you like. yk. a gamer" and he's like "oh nonono i'm not trans trust me i explored my gender plenty, wore makeup, padded my bra, did drag for a few years, changed my name—" and they're like "you did DRAG ???" and he's like "OH yeah LOLZ i was terrible lol. my team keeps trying to bury it from public view for a reason. those looks were NOT serving !!!!" (he doesn't talk like that but i'm being silly rn)

(you just knoooooow jason was jaw on the floor immediately looking up TRISTAN MCLEAN DRAG TRISTAN MCLEAN DRAG QUEEN PERSONA NAME TRISTAN MCLEAN DRAG QUEEN TRISTAN MCLEAN— the SECONDDDD he got a chance. like staring so hard at old ass pictures of tristan doing drag and realising like Oh maybe i am bi. piper dumped him because she found his search history /j)

i think when his father died he cut his hair but then when it started growing long again it reminded him too much of the past that he Didn’t Want To Think About so he just. kept it short. and it's been short ever since. BUTBUTBUT when piper decides she wants to reconnect with her culture (which she's been mostly separate from because of tristan's own avoidance of it due to memories of his childhood and his father and blahblahblah) it sort of motivates him to do it too. like if piper's gonna do it after tristan entirely cut her from their culture then like. he can too. and it was a big part of his life when he was younger so like. he knows shit. i'm not good at this btw sorry i just have ideas UGSFHADGSF but anyways when piper starts reconnecting he decides to do it too and his first step with like Getting Comfortable again is growing his hair out. it's a smaller step yk he just doesn't cut his hair it's nothing active. (ofc when it starts getting properly long he has a few moments. he has to really confront his grief over his father's death and just the fear of that alone is enough to make him want to cut it again. piper stops him before he does but he has a few moments where he questions if it's worth it)

ik i just said earlier that he's not trans but like sometimes. with characters. i have headcanons that complety contradict each other. that is to say Transfem tristan mclean headcanon. she changes her name to t. just T. t wynn mclean. she goes by t cuz it's something she's already used to (jason called her that all the time before she came out).

these are all the ones i have off the top of my head agh pleaseplease feel free to ask more about any of these !!! (or critique them lmao half of them are. things i suck at explaining because they exist only for hyperspecific scenarios wherein nothing happens but tristan talking to jason or piper LMAO) you can also send in your own headcanons about him or jason or piper because EYE WANT TO READ MORE ABOUT THEM RAAAAGHHH seriously there's so little stuff that features him especially and if you have literally anything at all i would lovelovelove to read it all !!!!!!! sorry for deleting the ask btw i really didn't mean to LMAO sorry to my honourary mutual (i'd tag you but i'm afraid of misremembering who it was LMAO sorry mate 💔💔)