#sense of faith self & valor

[seth-shitposts]

Out of context SoFS&V Kallus meme:

Kallus: if my mother didn't want me performing fatherless behavior,

*explosions in the definitely not far enough distance*

Kallus: then she should have had better taste in men.

[iceyrukia]

Women’s self-image is as negative as ever despite the “body positivity” wave of choice feminism. Why?

I think one of the biggest reasons as to why women’s beauty standards and self-image are worse than even is because you can preach about unfair beauty standards all you want and tell women not to make fun of another woman’s looks but you can’t take away the social status and praise that women who are “beautiful” get from society (both men and women). You give them clout and praise them. Something both “body positivity” and “body neutrality” feminists do btw despite all the talk about acceptance.

It’s like saying you don’t support the ethics behind a product and yet still consume and buy it. In this case “beauty” being a luxury achieved via consumerism where women become the products (objects) that other women admire and obsess over. There is a demand so there is a supply PERIOD.

Women might not directly pursue beauty (“I do it for myself”) for men but nonetheless it’s definitely ingrained as a sign of status and that’s enough to cause a negative self-image in women who don’t participate. Men might have been the original perpetrators of installing unrealistic beauty standards for women but the victims (women) have also turned into perpetrators who can’t let go of the misogynistic status symbol of having value from appearances because it’s considered “culture”.

[apiswitchcraft]

tarot and their divinatory meanings (wands)

this post just includes the suit of wands, for the suit of pentacles click here, for the suit of swords click here, for the suit of cups click here, and for the major arcana click here

King of Wands

UPRIGHT: a passionate and energetic person, honest, noble, a good leader, handsome, possibly someone married

REVERSED: a severe and arrogant person, rash and impulsive, prejudiced, intolerant, aggressive in pursuit of gain

Queen of Wands

UPRIGHT: extremely focused and passionate person, successful businessperson, generous, may be a little self-centered, strong sense of individuality

REVERSED: deceit, infidelity, jealousy (especially if the surrounding cards indicate it), otherwise a strict, domineering, overwhelming person

Knight of Wands

UPRIGHT: travel/moving house, a fearless and adventurous person, possibly hard to tie down, flighty, or rash

REVERSED: discord, separation, stagnation/delays, life interrupted

Page of Wands

UPRIGHT: faithful and loyal person, excitement and energy (sometimes too much), inner battles keeping you from acting, a new job/position

REVERSED: bad news, indecision, gossip, someone noncommittal, not pursuing what you want

Ten of Wands

UPRIGHT: heavy burden, success becomes oppressive, taking on others' problems, obstacles overcome, martyr complex

REVERSED: shifting responsibility onto others, selfishness OR release from burdens, burnout

Nine of Wands

UPRIGHT: strength in the face of opposition, changes, deception, temporary ceasefire, be okay with hard work and taking risks

REVERSED: obstacles, calamity, a mistrustful person, illness/disability

Eight of Wands

UPRIGHT: great haste and hope, freedom after a period of inactivity, excitement/surprises, be patient--momentum is building

REVERSED: jealousy, dispute, domestic disputes, guilty conscience, forgive yourself and adapt your strategy

Seven of Wands

UPRIGHT: valor, a fight you have an advantage in, success, hold your ground, set a clear purpose and follow through

REVERSED: perplexity, anxiety, indecision causes loss, being defensive, you can't see the full picture

Six of Wands

UPRIGHT: public acclaim, gain, good news, victory, possibly even egotistic/arrogant behavior, reward for hard work

REVERSED: delay, fear, treachery/disloyalty, doubt in your abilities, feeling unloved/neglected

Five of Wands

UPRIGHT: competition, internal struggle, unsatisfied desires, struggle for wealth

REVERSED: trickery, complexity/contradiction, litigation, avoiding conflict at all costs

Four of Wands

UPRIGHT: harmony, happy and relaxed home, refuge, peace, weddings, pursue love/friendships, support and stability

REVERSED: loss of peace/harmony, dissatisfaction, conflict, fear of commitment, instability

Three of Wands

UPRIGHT: good business, you are in control and have a strong position, a good grasp on the future, travel, opportunities coming your way

REVERSED: failed venture, lack of growth, feeling trapped, disappointment, take time to plan

Two of Wands

UPRIGHT: laying foundations, patience, maturity, make plans for the future, watch and wait, look to the future

REVERSED: lack of prospects/plans for the future, loss of control, impatience/overconfidence

Ace of Wands

UPRIGHT: creation, fertility/birth/family, a beginning--start something new, act now

REVERSED: stagnation, lack of excitement/energy, excessive indulgence and the following decline, a false start

[kanalaure]

1, 7, and 16 for the violence asks?

thank you dear 💖

1. the character everyone gets wrong

caranthir. oh my god it's caranthir. i swear the narrator specifically hates him. the parts about the haladin basically go:

-green elves: told them to fuck off, not chastised for running people out of the area, whole thing is portrayed with a neutral tone

-caranthir: brought his people to the haladin's defenses and offered up land for them if they wanted to go a bit north, and the narration slaps "and seeing, over late, what valor there was in the Edain" on him for it

-doriath: initially told them to fuck off even though the iathrim didn't actually live in brethil, and finrod had to talk his great-uncle around so they could stay. they had to pay rent (read: guard a river crossing) as part of the bargain to live there, and however that agreement was phrased caused her to go 'they killed my father and brother, what, do you think i'd be friends with the orcs? elves are weird if you think that's possible.' (honestly that response makes me laugh, but wow.)

i don't take anything the narrative says about him at face value, particularly the bit about him and dwarves, specifically because of this. because if the narration is going to put the sort of spin on a situation that makes the only one who actively helped them look bad, then how can i trust that the rest isn't just wildly overblown rumor and bad faith takes? he definitely got into an argument with his cousin, but in that same meeting maedhros called thingol an ineffectual loser and somehow came out looking good. so. -shrugs-

to bring this back to the actual question: that ^ is what canon says, and a lot of people seem to take it at face value that caranthir is the evil, mean, bad-tempered one of the bunch. even though he is also mentioned as an influential trading partner (you need diplomacy in order for trade to work). even though HE didn't forment any coups, or try to keep anyone prisoner, or directly lead to any of his cousins dying horribly. even though he largely minded his own business, he gets written as the mean one

i'm not bitter

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

okay, i gotta preface this by saying i dont hate him, i'm just. tired of his face

maedhros. he's fine??? i just don't think he's all that much more interesting than the rest of his family, and i feel like everything that could be said about him kind of already has been?

also since i know fandom at large is never going to stop talking about him, ever, i wish folks would back off of the (imo baseless) third-parent thing and spend more attention on his cheeky-bastard aspect. telling the king of the continent he sucks at his job is one of the most interesting things he did, even if it wasn't particularly advisable, diplomatically-speaking

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

i do not understand diva!maglor characterization at all. the self-obsession part of it in particular. this boy's entire thing is that he is so stupidly loyal he followed his family into exile, an inadvisable oath, and kinslayings, plural, because he loves his family. he was so against going after the silmarils in eonwe's camp that there is a recorded argument about it with actual direct quotation, but he went in the end. because his brother asked him to

this goes against the prompt a lil because i've only seen it a few times and i don't know that it's all that popular, but each of those instances stands out in my mind because, again, it makes absolutely no sense to me. any sort of characterization where he thinks of himself first over his family or his people goes directly against his actions. he's specifically the one mentioned as having a personality closest to his mother, lady "desired to understand minds rather than master them." he has the most moments focusing on his emotional state of anyone in this book (i don't know where the post went, but someone did actually check this) and it's usually about being grieved and tired and wanting to go home. notably, the word "cherish" is the one used to refer to how he treated elrond and elros

i literally have no idea how you get "vapid and snobby diva" out of that. i do not

ask game here

[dailycharacteroption]

Faithful Wanderer (Paladin Archetype)

(art by N-Deed on DeviantArt)

 In lands where evil reigns as an insidious force, such as the Worldwound, or places where the harshness as bred a callous viciousness, such as the Mana Wastes, sometimes discretion is the better part of valor, something that many paladins may chafe at.

While there is a sort of poetic glory to be had for rushing headlong into danger to destroy evil, and either being victorious in arms or victorious by way of proclaiming your defiance against evil, the wise understand that sometimes you have to bide your time and choose the right moment to strike.

It is that discretion that directs the actions of today’s subject, the faithful wanderer paladin!

Whether they learned in a trial by fire or were specifically trained for it, these paladins specialize in keeping themselves hidden in hostile lands, waiting for the right moment to swoop in and deliver divine justice.

While younger and brasher paladins might call them cowards, these paladins survive in enemy territory where others would fall, and there is something glorious about the idea of the lonely wanderer suddenly tossing aside their cloak and reveal the blazing light of good and hope that radiates from within them.

 Surrounded by evil as they are, these paladins focus less on sensing evil and more on learning practical skills of stealth and survival.

Additionally, just as they don’t bother sensing auras, they also learn to suppress their own, at first only appearing to have a normal person’s aura, then later spoofing a false aura based on the dominant alignment of the area, making them invisible to those only sensing good or law, and blending in with the crowd when noticed by beings with wider senses. Furthermore, their other auras do not reach beyond themselves.

True to their origins of fighting fiends and methods of guerilla warfare, these paladins do not smite evil in the traditional sense, but they turn that energy towards hunting and hiding from fiends in equal measure to causing them additional harm. Later on, these offenses expand against the undead and later evil dragons, covering all three classic paladin foes.

A mount would be an additional target, and fancy celestial bonds would be too flashy for what these paladins aim to do, so they always choose a bond with a weapon. Furthermore, when they reach the zenith of their ability, Their damage reduction is lesser but cannot be pierced, they only banish fiends on a critical hit, and their enhancement of their healing only affects self-healing.

This archetype is almost a blending of paladin and ranger, and functions well if you would rather be a hunter of evil than a support tank. Some of their abilities may seem objectively worse than their paladin counterparts, but remember they make up for it with increased skill points, utility bonuses against their prey and the ability to hide from those that can sense their alignment.

 Though their ways differ from those of normal paladins, these wanderers truly evoke the ideals behind being a paladin. After all, they stay true to their faith and to the belief of goodness and kindness as universal truths, despite being surrounded by evil on a regular basis. However, this isolation can make them somewhat estranged from others. However, they are never callous or cold, and often are the kind hand that pulls others out of the depths of despair. Perhaps only other paladins who have seen true evil and the devastation it wrecks on the world can truly understand.

  Most folk have abandoned the Skyscar after the rift to the demon realms opened. While the tide of fiendish invaders has slowed, the land is still ruled by such beings. However, these is one group of natives that have not abandoned their home. The wayangs were already used to concealing their presence from most visitors, and this remains true as they strike from the shadows to preserve their home, led by warrior priests.

 Despite the hand that mortals had in creating the divs, some janni take it upon themselves to destroy their corrupted kindred, accepting the blessings of the goodly gods of the elements to stay hidden from them before delivering purifying justice.

 When the nightwalker Loxhal came to Fangbrother Keep, none were left alive, but there is one who was there who still seeks justice, a skeletal warrior who retains his heart and the spark of the divine. However, the devastation the shadowy fiend brought has taught this undead paladin a lesson in biding one’s time, and so he does, gathering strength and intelligence to march into the blackened gates of his home, perhaps aided by living allies.

[fangsandfeels]

Yo, I didn't expect the game to mention my boy Hoar in any capacity

Imagine my surprise when it did:

Naturally, that tiny cameo means it's legit for me to shamelessly spam headcanons on Jerra's possible connection to Hoar.

Of course, I had to choose the most cringe edgelord/most edgy cringelord among the Forgotten Realms pantheon that is Hoar, the Doombringer, and the Poet of Justice. I’m not even joking here: Hoar is an angry petty bitch who sits in his edgy domain with booming thunders and heads on pikes while being salty about not getting a god of war portfolio in Unther. Like, this is meme is not a meme in Hoar's case, this how he probably talks:

Needless to say, Hoar's followers are just as cringe, brooding in their temples, remembering their grievances and planning their revenge. On top of that, he is the former exarch of Bane and the buddy of Beshaba (the goddess of misfortune and bad luck who ruins people's lives for the most insignificant of reasons).

So, Jerra is certainly not his faithful follower or loyal paladin. If she was, let's just say Astarion would not have gotten away with pulling a knife on her that easily. Also, him trying to bite her at night? Hoar would be pissed off at Jerra telling Astarion off and then letting him sink his fangs into her anyway. As a good devout, Jerra would be expected to bite the vampire's neck in return because Hoar's direct dogma is all about following Equally Matched Aggression standards to an extreme.

But in a world where everyone is influenced by deities and follows some (because the alternative is the Wall of the Faithless and you do NOT want to be condemned to the Wall) Jerra praying and leaving offerings to the Poet of Justice still makes sense, both in the context of her actions and even her acceptance of Astarion.

+ His tenets are actually pretty based. Violence begets violence, but kindness is repaid with kindness. Treat people like you want to be treated, don't commit evil acts for the sake of evil because this path leads to ruin and self-destruction. Meaningful gestures and actions matter more than words.

+ There are several different churches of Hoar scattered across Faerun, each squabbling over who understands Hoar best. So, there is a lot of in-fighting going on, which gives plausibility to the idea of more watered-down followers just minding their own business and keeping away from more intense brothers and sisters in Hoar.

+ Hoar is not that worried about looking righteous or valorous. It’s the spirit of the law, not the letter of the law, that must be upheld. So, it’s not about you looking good when you deliver the vengeance the person deserves. It’s about sending a message. Accordingly, poetic justice is encouraged. Yes, killing the duergar who enslaved a Deep Gnome and made him serve them drinks is good. But lacing the drinks he serves with deadly poison, so the slavers die vomiting their own blood and guts after smugly grabbing mugs from their captive's hands and laughing in his face? Wonderful. Priceless. Deserved.

+ Probably most important: Hoar doesn't mind the undead. At least, he doesn't seem to abhor them like Tyr or other gods of goodness, and his clergy has a rather interesting approach to the undead and necromancy. The dead deserve to be heard and avenged just like the living. Doombringers (the elite battle priests of Hoar) can raise the corpses of victims who died with the wish for vengeance on their lips as revenants - nothing is better than beating a murderer or a serial killer to death with the crowd of raging revenants who lost their lives because of them. Also, if a Doombringer is killed unfairly, they, too, rise as a revenant as a final "fuck you" to their murderer. But Hoar's tolerance for the undead doesn't stop there. The lore even mentions a vampire follower of Hoar (on the bad guys' side, but still). So, even if Jerra merely follows the diluted image of Hoar shaped by her mentor, she is used to speaking with the dead and didn't bat an eye at He Who Was when she first met him. Accordingly, it was relatively easier for her to think outside the box with Astarion and judge him through the prism of his deeds instead of his nature. Her philosophy is less about "there are inherently evil creatures that are KOS and inherently good creatures that deserve multiple second chances" and more about "there are many evil things in the world, lots of them are less obvious than the others"

In general, I don't think that Jerra draws her paladin powers from Hoar. Even though she ends up with several huge grudges against the Absolute, Raphael (when she promised to rip out his mocking tongue, it wasn't an empty threat), and the Emperor (oh she does NOT like the Emperor), she is still way too forgiving and patient to be a full-blown Hoarite. She pays her respects, certainly: her mentor followed the Poet of Justice, which was why they even met - all the time while the Flaming Fist and City Watch, the seemingly dedicated followers of Tyr and Helm, looked the other way. But her Oath was to herself, first and foremost.

However, if Hoar was more chill, I would have headcanonned that Jerra draws powers from his domain, which confused him greatly when it happened for the first time, but then he decided to allow it in a "Listen, if this mortal is so dedicated to her idea of vengeance, she raged her way into my domain, this is going to be good" way.

[atoasttotheendoftheworld]

Team 8 [ 第8班 / 第八班 - Daihappan ]

Sensei: Itoya Morino Members: Shigeru Aburame / Rouna Inuiwa & Shiroi / Hisae Higa Affiliation: Konohagakure

----

Team 8, also known as Team Morino, is a ninja team from the Leaf Village, consisting of Sensei Itoya Morino and Shigeru Aburame (Shibi Abruame's younger brother) Rouna Inuiwa (of the branch clan of Inuzuka) her faithful wolf-dog Shiroi and Hisae Higa (one of many branch clans of the Hyūga Clan)

Regarded as a Team of geniuses by their own Sensei, who believes they are even more brilliant than he and his analytical mind is and will ever be, they specialize in tracking, searching and locating, blending Higa Hisae's byakugan (albeit of lower strength and power than that of the Hyūga Clan) Aburame Shigeru's bugs and Inuiwa's outstanding sense skills alongside Shiroi's. Becoming collectively a sharp and efficient Team.

However, despite the actual successful missions completed, among peers Team 8 is, due to the presence of branch Clan members and a tendency to denigrate and stigmatize based solely on social status, often named Team Trash. Class-mentality bullying so common that it becomes a habit that, though, Team 8 tries to ignore and, rather, counter by showing their professional competence.

United by shared personal struggles, a genuine and deep friendship has emerged between the three that makes them even more cohesive and resilient. Due also to character differences that well combine and balance each other, from Rouna's self-confident extrovertedness to Shigeru's calm thoughtful introvertedness to Hisae's benevolent and selfless kindness. A respect and flawless mutual understanding that made them, over time, not only an extremely efficient Team, with nearly the highest number of successful missions, but also valorous and fierce chūnin destined to become future superb and brilliant jōnin.

Whose names have already been recommended, at the outbreak of an imminent war, both by their Sensei and other respected members of Konohagakure's ninja community.

[NB: the table data refer to when they are already about 17/18 years old, thus promoted long ago as chūnin and next to become (wanting it) jōnin]

Relatives:

Shigeru Abruame: Shibi's younger brother, Shinju's father, Shino & Torune's uncle Hisae Higa: Neji's mother, Hinata & Hanabi's aunt Rouna Inuiwa: Kakashi's mother Itoya Morino: Ibiki's father

[magicallifesworld]

Echoe

Aura Test – Pick a Magic Stone

Aura Test with Crystals. In Chinese Medicine, this complex yet ancient and sophisticated system, it is believed that we tend to like and therefore wear colours which are somehow “missing” from us. For example, if we tend to wear black colour all the time, we try to replenish the missing (Chinese) element of water in our life and aura. Likewise, there are many “tests” which try to determine what your aura thirsts for. This Aura Test is different though.

To begin with, we chose 6 magical stones, 6 distinctive gems which radiate different cosmic energy. In Witchcraft, we believe that each gem interacts with our aura, healing or helping it to adapt to certain circumstances. Look at the chart, gaze upon each stone… Lets see what this Aura Test can bring out …

Remember that you can chat about this Test on Qooest. The first Magical Social Network + Dating Service designed for our Magical Community.

Step 1. Clear your mind… Step 2. Which Stone attracts you the most?

1. Ruby

If you picked the Ruby then you probably need a passionate stimulus in your life. Your Chi levels need a boost as you”ve probably wasted much of your energy the past months. Is there something or someone draining your energy? Ruby can help your self-confidence and make you feel strong again.

Ruby is a great stone to ward off evil sorcerers and increase the energy levels. Once was believed that a Ruby could actually increase the body temperature, symbolising our zest for life! It is also a great stone to help you get your sex life back on track. Do you miss that?

2. Agate

If you picked the Agate then you probably need to refresh your relationship with nature and yourself. It was believed that burying an Agate in the Earth will turn the place magical again. This is what you probably need right now, revive hope in your life. Maybe you”ve got doubts and you need something to remind you that you the world is Magical, that YOU are magic!

Agate is a stone very famous for helping humans get in touch with their higher selves. Is your faith broken? Faith is being restored by wearing an agate. Valor is also being restored with Agate.

3. Turquoise

If you picked Turquoise you”ve probably neglected yourself, letting yourself drift apart in stressful and unhealthy situations. Turquoise is an excellent healing stone capable of strengthening and repairing the aura. It was worn also worn by healers in many Native American tribes to heighten their healing service to the world.

By picking Turquoise, you probably also want to increase and empower you charms. The wearer of Turquoise jewellery always emanates an aura which is difficult to pass unnoticed. Many really swear on the Turquoise’s effect of making them glow and look magnificent.

4. Moonstone

If you picked the Moonstone then probably something that haunts you – for a long time – need to be released. The Moonstone acts as a magical bridge with our emotions, and therefore it is the stone which helps us unleash all these feelings we try to hide.

Moonstone helps fight insomnia by helping us tap into our hearts and increase self-loving and confidence. It also helps us connect with the Divine Feminine, nurturing our needs and hopes.

5. Obsidian

If you picked Obsidian then grounding your energies is what you probably need right now. Obsidian is one of the most Earthly Stones, dark and mostly black is associated with the Element of Earth and its planet it Saturn, the lord of time. You need to meditate on your life and find ways to make it better.

Did you went through a stressful period and you need to tap into your divine pool of energy? If yes, the obsidian can help you get in touch with reality and replenish your energy.

6. Amethyst

If you picked the Amethyst then your probably need a fresh magical air to dust off your spirit. We live in a world where diverse and disturbing stimuli harm our senses and our magical powers. The Amethyst helps us stay sober and perceive what is really important for us. It also helps our imagination be creative once again.

The Amethyst wards off the energies that cloud our minds and magically vaccinates our aura against malevolent influences. Moreover, it will assist your intuition and will help you open up to the unlimited love of the Divine.

found on https://www.magicalrecipesonline.com/2016/04/test-aura-pick-magic-stone.html

[william-r-melich]

D-Day Infant Soldier - 06/06/2024

Imagine total darkness without knowing light or dark. Imagine breathing liquid without knowing liquid, air, or solid substance. Imagine sudden noises without knowing sound or silence. Imagine impending doom without knowing the evil malice of bottomless darkness. Imagine hanging on by your fingernails to the hope of all of humankind must aspire to a virtue of pure joy on absolute integrity seemingly as unreachable as the farthest star while realizing that it may only be as close in potential to what is held within the heart of all our souls.

Trained and hardened to the battle against the adversary of our freedom, the infant soldier is made ready in strategic formation for the coming assault with near impossible odds of survival. As an infant soldier not experiencing firsthand the combat of man against man, piercing rounds of ammunition, mortars exploding and grenades tearing off limbs and spilling guts in gallons of blood; he must put himself on his own conscious choice to risk unimaginable pain and possible death. Yet to his innocence of putting himself in harm's way he has but a spark of divinity to drive himself beyond all sane choices for the immediate moment, and to embark on the journey toward the ultimate goal of all humanity to live in the natural state of self-determination and genuine happiness.

Dropping from the skies in darkness of night upon enemy lines and landing upon the shores of certain slaughter; the infant soldier advances upon the enemy of freedom, love, and the natural purpose of human livelihood. Fired upon in the blue shores turning red with the lifeblood of patriots defying the actions against the enemies of humanity, they march forward without complaint for it is better to die fighting for the endless joys of liberty than to live under the infinite darkness, torture, depravity, and hapless servitude of tyranny. For country, honor, integrity, and a higher sense of living; the infant soldier fights on.

Like climbing the endlessly steep walls of falling slime with nothing to grab onto except the courage of dignity and the valor of honorable ascent to the heavens of benevolence; the infant soldier, after several waves of wanton death climbs the cliffs to overtake the sub-human creatures firing upon them. With so many of their brothers of faith and endless alliance to all that is right and virtuous befallen by only death in body, the infant soldier marches on to knock the Nazi Germans back on their heels and defeat their occupation of the U.S. allied foreign grounds in France. A major and necessary victory not only in the immediate battle, not only in the war, but in the hearts of all humanity striving for the glory, the peace, and the prosperity of our natural birthright of freedom.

The infant soldier, so many of whom died as the heroes of all humanity for all time, lives on in the spirit world of eternal divinity. Beyond even that, as we look upon those few survivors of ever ascending virtue made by their undying commitment to truth, freedom and liberty, and to the core of all that is truly sacred; we must never forget their valor and sacrifice for we would not have the rights we enjoy today if it were not for their incredible acts of bravery.

To the D-Day Infant Soldier we owe so much more than our admiration, our thanks, and our acknowledgment of their unimaginable pain, blood spilled, and unyielding efforts against impossible odds. We must never forget their sacrifices from journeys into the infinite blackness of evil. Of their pushing onward with the penetrating pain of devastating injuries, of such a willingness and devotion to go back into facing these horrors with both the trepidation of looming death and the unstoppable resolve of refusing to live in a world darkened by the evils of tyranny. We owe them much gratitude, mostly by simply living our lives in a responsible and productive manner with dignity and respect. We need to be strong, to uphold our country's founding principles as established in our constitution and be willing to defend it at all costs. This is the only way to truly honor our magnificent heroes. To be honest, hardworking, decent, and good to one another. We must always seek truth and live by it. We must fully accept spirituality, for we are all but part of this eternal energy that drives our conscious being and is the essence of all existence.

[spirituallesbianblog]

Legendary Lightworkers - Soldiers Of Ascension

'Welcome to the greatest show on Earth'

A cosmic interplay of stars, planets, and movements that inspire spectacular growth. Creation is the vision of a maestro whose music is the breath of life. A mystery and a force to be reckoned with as every planet, moon, and sun movement is tethered to the expansiveness of our conscious thought, The higher we go the more we know as we see beyond the clouds and become awakened through our enlightening experiences as a soul in human form. Not everyone will resonate with this creation thinking except those who intuit we are here to ascend the programs of a Magician Earth. A place where influence has decided the code of life through religious text and leadership roles honored by the masses. Since the birth of man, our faith has been modified by those around us and their innate ideals. The more powerful became rulers and benevolently or not commanded their followers to honor and abide by their rhetoric--- forming collectives or civilizations. These were earlier gatherings inspired by the spirit of camaraderie and community plus a sense of safety and economy.  Many looked to the stars for answers to their human origins. From this came an array of religions or worship of idols each reflecting the cosmos and the environment they perceived as a celestial home. Mankind had arrived and Mother Earth welcomed her companions with an open heart and optimism. Creation had sent souls disguised as humans on a mission of higher intention through the art of reincarnation. Not all will agree with this life-birthing theme and there are numerous interpretations of our genesis written in books that date back thousands of years. It all comes down to what you believe and many versions are circulating to confuse the most intelligent human scholars. A precarious journey through the forest of truth and programs endorsed by ancestors who were adamant they knew who God was and what was expected of us.

'A  foundation of the church was built although nations had differing views'

God was installed as the creator of humans as wars raged in a battle of preference and supremacy. Mainstream religion now dominated the earth discarding earlier leanings to reincarnation while dismantling cultural and tribal beliefs in deities, Gods, and Goddesses. The premise of an unconditionally loving God set the stage for witch hunts in the late 1600s while constant rifts between religions have blurred the landscape of creation's epic stance of free will. The right to choose your lover, purpose, value, principle, and choice of religion. The bloody coup of Godly history sees the pure light of divinity bleeding on the cross of conflict----as the flames of faith ignited. It's a cold war battle for the rightful God to take the throne. Is it achievable? Could nations agree to relinquish theirs in favor of a new mainstream faith based on the recycling of life known as reincarnation? The journey of a soul experiencing life as a woman or man? Or will we continue themes of sameness and accept commands of religious ethics we may not even agree with especially if we are gay lesbian or psychic? To be fair the church doors are a jar but still, the message is clear. God does not favor those who have divine superpowers or embrace same-sex love.  Some say that God has nothing to do with religion and that man invented the word of God on Earth. However, you look at it the influence of God's word is an interpretation of human belief and self-reflection as we search for God within ourselves. A journey of depth and courage if we feel the call to a Divine not honored in certain quarters of the world.  My valor chooses reincarnation as the mirror of my soul. A castaway in this 3-D maze of truths and plenty of mistruths sold to us by leaders and influencers who enforce their memo of dysfunction on Planet Earth. A caricature of intense emotions that stir the soul to experience the most extravagant scenarios laced with a desire to learn.

'Souls are not afraid to flex their creational muscles by choosing life with a missionary goal'

They may come to innovate a New Earth or paint a picture of unity in a divided globe of infinite potential. Time has hindered our growth beyond the status quo as rebel souls dare to inspire the masses with words not commonly heard. Cries of crazy are the norm as the soldiers of the New Earth bring their brand of higher consciousness to those enmeshed in the matrix magnetism. A system of power and programming stoic in expression and expectation. A far cry from a soul-based society where the awakened form a holy bond with angels and spirit-guide helpers. Dutifully assigned to support souls with high-level growth. An evolving stance of enlightenment. Thinking is crystal clear as we intuit the falsity of our world and light codes from heaven pierce our conditioned hearts and the lost years of misguided beliefs. We are now free to be authentic. Reaching deep to find our truth. We are not a clone of societal command but a soul of past life significance here to spotlight the dark and its hold on our planetary home. The word is out. Ascension is real and the way forward from the pits of hellish ideals where souls are up for sale and love is mistaken for control, manipulation, and abuse. Getting closer to God is not an elitist allowance from the global stages of religion. It is an open door to everyone regardless of color, gender, culture, or gay sexuality. The divine has no bias only humans are prejudiced and that tells the story of a creator whose frequency is love. Not conditional as we see in relationships or judgment of gays and those who can read the future.  We are legendary lightworkers stationed for the 5-D uprise of awareness. The internal versus external as we go inward to find our soul and our source counterpart.

'A creator of charisma and consciousness guiding us through the storm to Nirvana'

Now we are awakened--- a light worker force of nature and that can be as a spiritual lesbian with an empathic starseed heart here to assist the soldiers of New Earth.  It's all hands on deck as the old order makes way for a community of free-thinkers or philosophers of the new age. This is the era of enlightenment. A conscious awareness of how we were mechanized to play out compliance roles in robot mode without questioning whether it fulfilled our dreams, goals, and desires. We compromised in love, liberty, and our core values. A succession of trade-offs filtered our heart-felt ideals to align with the crowd or general thinking held by family, friends, lovers, and leaders. The ancestral line of humanity was ignited by the match of similarities and anyone who dared to say or be different was called out and set apart from the collective. This was the plight of gays when religion sold their story as a curse on the word of God. A heavy cross to bear and contrary to the empathy shown by Jesus Christ for the outcasted lepers. Christ's open-hearted love was unconditional and did not differentiate between people's status, gender, or political rank. Jesus was a divine diplomat and emissary of creation ordained to dispel the great divide of difference. The light of God shone brightly on this man's mission who came in a time of limited beliefs and restriction. It's not dissimilar to now as we walk a thin line between war, love, and hate with dictators frothing at the bit while humanity feels the unease. The new Christs on Earth are the lightworkers dedicated to enlightening a world of divine disconnection. Like Jesus, our words are devalued as we bring news of the Aquarian Era of Light. A prophesized event following the Pisces Era of control, and castration of self. The burst of Aquarian air energy brings a fresh outlook of freedom and innovation backed up by a review of how we blaspheme our neighbors for their contrasting beliefs, sexuality, and religious perspectives.

'It is also an opportunity for more unorthodox ideas, which can be relationships that don't fit the norm or lifestyle choices that invigorate our sense of well-being physically and emotionally'

The dark aura of abuse has plagued our planet for too long demanding a refreshed attitude to healthier interactions and education that inspires knowledge of our human failings so we can become whole and healthy. Mainstream religion will feel the push of spiritual practices that promote the view of our internal, meditative self.  Love will be a household word and openly felt as the cool winds of Aquarius shift the illusion of how we interpret love. Partnerships with high-frequency matches will amplify the alliance of high-level soulmates and twin souls as divine fairy dust showers Earth with a template of 5th-dimensional love in its purest form. The divine feminine will anchor the New Earth with her life-bearing nurture, compassion, and love. These divas of the divine are here to awaken us to the pillars of conscious awareness. Only if we are willing to shake off past programs and see beyond the fantasia mirage. We have been living a war-like existence and the suffering is evident. Our animals are in a crisis of neglect as are our children and women in narcissistic/abusive situations. When we step into the arena of change we are the awakened versus the unawakened.  A pedestal of perception and light bulb moments as our eyes open to who we are and the darkening world we live in. A monolith that runs on antiquated programs of force and repression.

'Our planet has been governed by leaders with a messiah complex or desire to be God on earth'

Since dancing with dinosaurs man has felt a sense of elevation and importance that grew to an ego and then a wanting to rule over the dominion of human and animal lives. Conflict ensued as humans competed for the right to rule Earth. An ongoing battle of darkness and light that threatens to destroy the connection between God and man. Lightworkers are the SAS souls of source here to assist humanity in a quest for the promised land. A cosmic New Eden where the children of the light will herald in the loving consciousness of Christ on a planet that has held humanity hostage in systems of fear, shame, and low vibration. Our birthright is one of high frequency and phenomenal powers degraded by religious and high-ranking humans who kept us small and unaware of our origins or Godly purpose. We have become sidelined by external voices that choose fights with other nations and detach with complacency that we can do nothing but observe. The truth is we are a collective with the power to energetically shift Earth's aura from dark into lightness---chaos into calm. We have become bystanders separated from God and each other. The secret is in our unity as we awaken to a world of corrupted ideals. We are not sheep to be herded but empaths, star seeds, and intuitively enhanced souls holding the light for heaven on earth. A vision of beauty, depth, and transparency governed by universal law and integrity. The legendary lightworkers are the ringmasters of a spiritual age. A manifestation of peace and fellowship for all to embrace as we re-learn to live from the heart in high-frequency love.

'Hail the New Earth ~ The Aquarian Era of light ~The Soldiers of Ascension ~ Legendary Lightworkers of high-frequency love'

Author ~ Linda E. Cole (The Divine Feminine)

[seth-shitposts]

Kanan & Dimal

CW// descriptions of dissociation, reference to the grand inquisitor’s suicide attempt, reference to order 66 & everything that followed. Portrayals of slight dermatillomania [i think that’s all the relevant pieces]

UNEDITED AND UNFORMATTED BECAUSE MY INTERNET IS A BITCH

——

Backstory+Context:

What I’m adding in is that he had become a temple guard almost immediately after his knighting, that he and the council had thought and agreed it to be a good idea. His connection to the force is atypical, much different from most Jedi. He doesn’t connect in the same way, and it’s far easier for him to be detached. The line of thought for putting him as a temple guard was that it would be highlighting his strength, since a key element of a guard is choosing to forego all attachment and dedicate to the title.

There was a single oversight on all sides, one that would lead to his obsession and therefore his fall. He hadn’t built a strong sense of self. [It’s one thing to have had a sense of self and then choose to let it go in favor of committing to something higher than yourself. It’s another thing entirely to have not had that foundation before hand.] Because he didn’t go through building that in a secure way, it left him liable for insecurities down the line. There’s a lot he didn’t know about himself and he didn’t know how to figure out, or even be aware of it. One of the major things having been why the force had chosen him, because he didn’t have the same innate empathy that Jedi have. It started as a curiosity to learn more about the force and how it works, to go deeper than the base line of understanding. The answer had to be somewhere. He attempted several times over the course of a few years to learn more about the sith as well, but he was declined from those deep dives.

Through his search, he found a series of journals written by one of the founders of the Jedi Order, but only random volumes. He really resonated with this author; they had written a description of their connection to the force that matched his own, and *that* is something he’s never found before. He thought that maybe this author would have written more not just about their struggles, but how they preserved through them, because he had access to the final volume, which painted an ending where they had worked through their struggles, and now would help build the future that their friends are envisioning to help everyone across the galaxy (thus, beginning what becomes The Jedi Order). All of the other volumes were restricted. The harder he tried to gain access, the more obsessed over it he became, which only led to a more firm decline, resulting in him beginning to have doubts.

(Long story short, Palpatine had planted thoughts similarly to as he had with Anakin and swayed his unsureness of himself to a full betrayal of the order)

———

+[Following the events of s1 finale]+

It draws him back to consciousness at a slow pull before thrusting him back in all at once- the sound of life that surrounds him. A breeze that ruffles through leaves and rustles grass, chirps and clicks of different species of insects, hums and songs of avians as their wings flap in time with a heart beat, constant trickling of water.

It’s all soft… no, it’s separated. Far away. Like his head is trapped in a bubble, but the moment the bubble pops, as does the separated gentleness.

And then it’s all so deafening to his sensitive ears, it reminds him not to allow himself to be so vulnerable and ill informed of unknown surroundings in such a vastly open space.

Alarmed and with lightning shooting through his veins, he rushes to sit up, trying to gather his bearings.

Surrounding him are thick forestry. A quick twist to peek behind him gives him two different pieces of information. One being the sight of some ruin, something older than his knowledge as the only thing that still stands is a stone arch of sorts with scribbled writings. The second vital detail is the fire that shoots halfway up his back.

Fire…

Wincing, he tries to shift his lower back away from the blazing pain. As he does, he realizes he’s moving farther into some pool of water his legs are soaking in. The water is the home of some type of strange colored algae that glows with unique flowering floating on it. It takes him a moment to look to his legs through the clearness of the water. Burns that… look like they had rapidly healed.

He withdraws his limbs from the water to inspect them, and the moment he does, the algae no longer glows.

Picking at the healed scarring gently, he tries to piece together…

The last thing I remember… Speaking to Kanan Jarrus, right before I…

Curling his lip, he glares at the flesh on his bones. I threw myself into an exploding… How in the entirely blasted galaxy did I survive that? How did I wind up on… this…

The last person he had seen before his vision was over taken by flames trying to swallow him whole, forcing him to succumb to the burning inferno of pain enveloping him.

Kanan Jarrus.

He shakes his head in disgust. Fucking nobility of a Jedi, their need to save and spare everyone. No matter the monster.

It had been the last choice that would have been my own. And now…

He can’t very well just return to the inquisitorius, not after the string of failures he’s just weaved for himself. That last one being just a beautiful ribbon to wrap it up. And not going back isn’t going to grant him any safety from what will begin to hunt him. He’s still blood in the water. He can’t wait for the sharks to find him.

It’s pathetic, having run to death with open arms and failing even a task as simple as that. Simple in comparison to what the alternative was. And now… And now there has to be another escape. There’s always…

Dragging his nails across his scalp, he rattles his recollection, but every thought is so, so far away.

Distance…

Separation.

Can’t be tracked with no trail to follow. He doesn’t like it, but it will buy him time until there’s something better; an opportunity.

Until then, a decision has been made. Throw distance between himself and the force.

——

+[Soon after Kallus agrees to help]+

Kallus holds out an indie commlink, “I’ll gather equipment and resources, and once I’m available to meet up with you, I will contact you through this. If you ever have an emergency, contact me. Just to be safe, don’t use-“

The spy halts suddenly, staring up at him, seemingly trying to think.

He can feels his brow twitch from being stared at. “What?”

“Forgive me, I just realized I have never learned your name.”

Growling, he snatches the commlink from Kallus’s open hand. “You don’t need it.”

He can hear that Kallus has some kind of bite back on the tip of his tongue, but thinks better of it, and swallows the bitter words with a second thought. If he’s being honest, he would rather Kallus bite back at him than…

Straightening his shoulders, he places the commlink in one of his most secure pockets, tucking it close to his chest.

——

+[One of the first sessions; probably the first session, ngl.]+

“So,” Smirking, he levels with Kallus, about to enjoy when the moment when realization strikes this blond that he is in way over his head. “Tell me about how exactly you plan on helping me become a Jedi Knight again, Agent Kallus.”

Rolling his eyes, Kallus organizes stolen imperial equipment. “We’ll start with you telling me about the Jedi.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you were a Jedi Knight yourself, so wouldn’t you know the basic principles best?”

Tearing his gaze away from the rebel spy, he crosses his arms over his chest, suddenly finding the wall much more interesting.

“Look, I’m going to need you to be the least bit cooperative if I’m going to be of ay substan-“

“I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember?” Kallus stops what he’s doing entirely. “What exactly?”

“The principles. Anything, really.” He masks his frustration with an amused smile, turning back to Kallus, hoping to irritate him, with the reality of the situation.

“How do you not remember? What do you mean? What, did you just eviscerate your understanding of your enemy when you decided to leave your station in the empire?”

He isn’t getting he satisfaction he thought he would from this, and he can’t tell if that’s more or less frustrating than the truth he’s having to swallow and now spill. “No,” the syllable is released through gritted teeth. “It’s not that I chose not to remember. It’s that I can’t remember.” Just another blaring fact of his own short comings.

“Elaborate.” Kallus is withholding his own frustration. Withholding it, but still choosing to patiently listen.

“Best I can explain is that after choosing to close myself off from the force, I also shut myself out from the dark side of it. It was shell shocking. For the first time I could breathe properly without having realized before that…” He takes in a sharp breath. “Long story short, my memories are a ‘mess’. Some are twisted versions of the truth and I have no way of figuring it out on my own. I have more gaps than I do recollection.”

He watches as Kallus turns away from him, slowly dragging his fingers through his hair as he tries to process this unexpected challenge. Still feeling bitter at his admission, he waits to see this man who had once not been able to apply the definition ‘quit’ throw in the towel. He had missed it the first go round. He wants to see it for himself.

“Change in steps,” Kallus swiftly strides back to the speeder, “we’re starting from scratch.”

Eyes narrowing as they follow the ex-imperial, he tries to grapple the words just given to him as if it’s a silly little errand. “What?”

“We are going to outline a series of expeditions to find the pieces we need to start with.” Grabbing the most tattered and slapped-together datapad to exist, Kallus begins to break through firewalls to cross reference imperial databanks with ones that existed before the empire itself, to find any trace of a location that may have been overlooked where they could find more information about the Jedi.

Trying to wrap his head around Kallus’s words, he’s reeling as irritation claws its way up his spine. “Would be great, but one of the first orders I had been given as grand inquisitor was to carry out and oversee the destruction of anything relating to the Jedi. There’s nothing-“

“There’s always something. There’s always ones that got away. Ones never found to begin with.” Kallus skims over the lines rapidly. “Don’t be so eager to give up. If you want to turn me in so bad, know that I won’t go down without a fight, but same applies here.” He pulls out an empty datapad and scribbles some locations on it. “I said I would help. Just because you chose to hide some details doesn’t mean I’m done here.”

He can’t tell if he’s more annoyed or further intrigued. Sliding a couple fingers across his jawline, he considers his options.

While he, personally, would see the value in handing over someone like Kallus, nestled so deep in the empire, he’s well aware that the spy wouldn’t get him nearly as far as he would need him to. Going back is still wildly out of the question. The middle ground action, leaving altogether, would just leave him back at where he had been. Aimless, unable to focus. Some could settle for that, and maybe he could too, but…

Maybe entertaining the notion a bit longer will be worth the effort. As the one who had been in charge of overseeing the destruction of the Jedi’s existence, he can remember that he hadn’t entirely agreed with the decision. He had thought the command was purely out of a place of emotion rather than reason. Even if the Jedi had been wrong and mislead, from a scholar standpoint, it would have been smarter to keep their archives, to teach why they thought how they did and show how it would have been misinformed.

But at the time… Had it been another moment where he was thinking through that false clarity? The lense of the dark, had it led him to choosing anger over reason? Or did that come later? Why had he gone through something he didn’t agree with? Or did he actually believe it to be a good idea at the time?

The face of the man who gave him the orders still escapes his memory. Why can’t he remember the face that he followed at the cost of everything? What was he looking to gain? What did he lose?

“Hey,” Kallus’s voice is soft, gentle. “You won’t have to go looking through these places by yourself. I’ll slip away when I have the chance. I’ll also try getting in touch with my informant again. They may have intel that could help.”

He blinks down at the human whose harsh features and guarded demeanor has momentarily shifted to make room for assurance.

“Seeing as how no other option is appealing, you’re still the most interesting choice.” He smirks teasingly, “Regardless of how annoying you get.”

Returning to his usual rigid posture, Kallus rolls his eyes, “I get that frequently, thank you.”

“You really don’t give up, do you? Is chasing ghosts something you’ve just always done?”

“Seems so. We’ll leave for the nearest location in half an hour.”

———

+[After much training and progression and work put into slowly dedicating to this task.]+

+Context for this next part:

Through [redacted], an informant, Kallus is told he has to make the decision to either continue missions with the former grand inquisitor on their own, attempting to gather an understanding of the Jedi that is doomed to be lacking and incomplete, or make contact with Kanan Jarrus and gain his trust when Kallus has yet to have much experience or credibility as fulcrum, having only been given the mantle shortly ago.

Initially, Kanan (rightfully) believes that they have lured him out as a trap and that they are both still loyal to the empire. Only after a lot of convincing is it that Kanan is willing to even hear them out.

-I am still working the timeline out and locking it down, but this would take place not long after the season 2 finale, Kanan being more on edge and untrusting than ever.

Kallus had believed it wise to bring peace offerings a an attempt to be heard out. Kallus instructed the former inquisitor to retrieve and bring a Jedi artifact while Kallus brought intel.

The former inquisitor had still been undecided on whether he would want or even ask for help from the Jedi knight. It wasn’t until Kanan addressed him directly, asking what his intentions are to be. A bitter response sat on the tip of his tongue, but he caught a glance of Kallus, who’s eyes were still on the Jedi.

Thinking on how far Kallus has put himself out for him, how the spy time and time again met him where he was to figure things out with him, and now how Kallus has chosen to pursue the superior aid directly from the knight at the expense of his own plans and compromising his own position- all because he has faith in him.

He resists the urge to lash his tongue at Kanan and admits to wanting to understand the full picture, learn and preserve the truth.

Eventually, Kallus has to leave and it is just him and Kanan. Kanan is still untrusting. (Again, rightfully)

+++

“I have no reason to trust you. Either of you. Not after everything.”

Pulse still racing, Kanan keeps distance from him, facing harshly in his direction.

Curious. If he’s so against me surviving as a perceived threat, why would he have gone through the effort of keeping me alive? He decides to view this as a trial, a test. Prove himself. Show that he’s taking this seriously, that the sacrifices Kallus chose to make won’t be wasted, that he won’t be left back where he began.

“You’re right. You have no reason to take either of us at our word. Nothing I do or say will take back what has been done. It does not make what I’m pursuing any less true. It’s taken a lot for me to get where I am as I am here today.” He makes sure to keep the distance between them Kanan holds, hands clasped behind his back. “I will be honest, at first I had no intent on taking this seriously, but then Kallus took the time to show me that what I had previously thought to be true were only lies to get me to side my loyalty to the empire. I’m still unsure of many things. I desire nothing more than to stand by the truth. Kallus started me back on that devotion. The only thing I am asking of you is to remind me of who the Jedi were and what they stood for.”

“Why?” The tension in Kanan… shifts. Still present, but different. “You were there, weren’t you?”

Taking a deep breath, he tries to find the right words to string together. This doesn’t get easier for him to digest each time he explains it. He runs the tip of his tongue along his sharpened teeth before he speaks, the slight motion reminding him of his body. “My recollection of the Jedi, my perception of them, had become… twisted as I fell. Overtime, memories shredded until there were few left. As an inquisitor, as a servant of the dark side, I had been under a false belief that I had a clear mind. It wasn’t until I finally distanced myself from the force entirely that I realized that not to be true. And now most days I cannot differentiate between what memories are real, what’s true, or not.”

“Still, why should I help you?” It feels as though the Jedi knight is cutting his eyes at him, holding what is a more than reasonable grudge and distrust towards him.

“Because I am asking for it.” Despite trying to appear calm, he can feel his ire rising like a heat traveling up his spine, setting every cell of skin on fire on its way up. This would be simpler if he just out right says he does not wish to help me. Instead, we’re playing this game.

“What gives you the right to ask? After how many of our people fell at your hands? After the betrayal you committed?” Kanan’s voice slowly rises in volume, adding fuel to the flames in the former inquisitor’s body. “And you just forgot? You forgot?!”

“My inability to remember detail does not negate the damage I’ve done, do not confuse my desire to understand what happened and inability to remember as a cowardly attempt to evade accountability for everything I’ve done, Kanan Jarrus,” he meets Kanan’s spit of fire with the same level of heat. “If you were to be so against rising above and helping me understand where I went wrong and would rather I have died, then why in this blasted galaxy didn’t you let me?!” He can no longer smother the sneer on his lips, a growl almost becoming audible from his vocal cords.

“What in the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t play ignorant with me! You know what I’m talking about! Back on that star destroyer, when you had bested me in a fight and I made my choice! My way out! When I succumbed to the flames, you and your crew dragged me off that ship and abandoned me on an uninhabited planet!” He glares, the scab of it being ripped open raw right when he had thought it was finally healed.

“I don’t know what you are imaging,” Kanan seethes, the words hissing out from gritting teeth, “I had other priorities than making a futile attempt to save someone who had very clearly made their choice!”

The words wash over his body as though he had been thrown into a lake of ice. His voice loses its rage, “What?” There is no lie, no deceit in the knight’s features. “Then… How did- that doesn’t make- That’s impossible, I shouldn’t have survived- Much less unharmed- healed even-“ Dragging his nail along the ridges on his skull, he can feel his back hit a wall. The walls spin and blur in the background. The foundation that he had scrapped together since waking up in that algae filled pool shatters beneath his very feet. Not because Kanan hadn’t chosen to save him, that what he would have expected- hell, it’s what he would have done himself; but its the fact that now, no he doesn’t have any iota of a clue.

As improbable as it was, Kanan being the one to have pulled him from the fire, it was the only answer that had been viably possible; so much so that he latched onto it. Believed it. Been convinced.

But now? His thoughts are spiraling every which way, wrecking his brain for anything, but there’s no feasible way he should have survived, especially nearly unscathed aside from scarring of the burns he had endured that should have been much more detrimental.

Boots step into his line of vision, dragging him out of his mind slowly. “You’re… serious. About all of this?”

Realizing not until now, he had slid to the ground against the wall.

It’s a fight, trying to get back into his body enough to meet the Jedi’s face. He has to force his eyes to focus on the other’s features. Guarded, but curious, almost open. Something distinctively empathetic. Despite who it is Kanan is talking to.

“Jarrus, I’m always serious.” He screws his eyes shut after pain washes over them from the force he had behind them to manually focus them. His vision blurs in and out when he opens them once more. “I need to see the full picture. I’m sick of only having pieces. I want the truth, nothing more. Nothing less. So I can make informed decisions about what is just.”

Through the blurred vision, he’s able to make out that Kanan offers out a hand.

He only stares at it for a long moment. Not sure if he’s waiting for it to come into focus, if it’s his turn to be distrustful, or if he just isn’t able to get his body to cooperate.

“If you’re willing to be receptive, then I might be willing to help.”

He finds his hand setting into Kanan’s offer. Not without immense effort from himself.

———

+[The second meetup between Kanan and Him?]+

+Contextual notes for this scene: Kanan and the former inquisitor are in a Jedi temple, thus far they have pulled against the grain and become lost in the temple. At this moment, they are in the middle of an argument.

“I may have said that I could help, but you still have yet to prove that you are trustworthy,” the Jedi Knight pushes the words out through gritted teeth, body tense and on edge.

It’s been taking everything in him not to inflame and agitate this man’s every blaring fault and flaw; physical and psychological.

Remember why you’re committing to this. Remember the balance. Let go of that which is fleeting. Return to the pursuit of unbiased truth. Let go of that whic-

“Hey! Don’t ignore me just because I can’t see you!”

Whatever happened to Kanan Jarrus has no just changed his physical abilities, but also his mentality. “You’re lashing out, I am trying to ground myself. It is not a easy process for me. Whatever happened to having nothing to fear? You are currently laying out all this fear in open and it’s the worst temptation.” Remember what Kallus taught you.

“That right there does not make me any more enthused to help you.”

“Then don’t. I will find my way out of this temple. And I’ll find my own way to the light.” His own words are just as guarded and defensive as Kanan’s.

“You’re well aware that’s not an option, you cannot leave on your own-“

A painfully wide grin cuts across his face with a breathless chuckle, “Actually, Kanan Jarrus, I don’t. I told you already, my memory is as about as reliable as your sight. And what’s better is when I cut myself off from the dark, it’s false sense of clarity is not the only thing that left me. My patience has warn thin. I always had an extraordinarily high amount of that, if I remember even that much. But you are cutting it shorter.” He pauses, breath halting in his lungs before he releases after a moment. “You have no reason to trust me, I do not belittle that nor whatever it is you are personally dealing with. I would give you my honesty, but you do not trust it.”

“I don’t know your intentions, I don’t know your allegiances, and I don’t know your values. And you expect me to be willing to trust you? After everything? That you suddenly grew a conscious?” Shaking his head, Kanan sneers. “I shouldn’t even be here.”

He brings his palms up, open hands, open mind, willing mind. “You’re right, I haven’t ‘suddenly grown’ what you would call a conscious. I never had one- even before my fall, and being honest with you, I probably never will.” He uses every bit of will power he can muster to relax the tension within him then turns to face Kanan.

“Figures,” Kanan scoffs, shaking his head as he turns away from him. “Why did I even-“

Taking the extra effort to humble his own tone, he tries to will out every bit of gentleness he’s capable of producing. “If I may continue. Please.” He keeps his voice calm and even.

The knight still looks displeased, but holds his tongue as he turns back to face him.

“I’m not sure why I never had that innate ability, the one to be empathetic, but that doesn’t mean I’m disqualified from the light. I can built skills. I can dedicate myself. More than anything, I want to pursue the truth. It’s been a rough pill for me to swallow that for too long I have confused my perception for it. My perception is but a limited lense of the full picture. What I believe to be truth may not be what is real or what is true. I think, I have been lied to and misled. But I have nothing else to compare to. It’s a battle just for me to stay grounded at all.” He sighs, cutting himself off. “I find that I don’t know…”

A darker hand slides on top of one of his pale palms. He blinks rapidly, trying to force his eyesight to focus back in. He can make out the notable details of Kanan’s face. He’s noticeably calmer.

“I make no promises, nor obligations. But as long as you are making progress, I’ll see what I can help with. You’re right, you’ve lost patience and you’re fighting for real clarity, but you’re willing to be open, to relearn. If you really are after the truth, I will give that to you.” Sighing, Kanan steps back. “I myself have… been more on edge. I’m more guarded than ever now.”

“It’s hard for you to tell if you’re being reasonably cautious or cynically guarded?” He studies Kanan.

“Yeah.”

He watches as the tension Kanan holds does not lessen. He tries to think of someway he could lessen that stress of distrust from the Jedi, maybe finally make some headway. It’s very appearing that the man worries that he is only using this exchange as a way to get the knight to lower his gaurd, get him closer to his crew before springing a trap.

“I have a deal to offer you, something to set your mind at ease?”

Scoffing, Kanan shakes his head, “What could you possibly-“

“You’ll have my word. No harm will befall you or your crew. As long as you tell not a soul about Kallus’s change in allegiance. You will pretend you know nothing.”

Kanan looks taken aback, almost skeptic. “Tell me why.”

He rolls his eyes, “You know full and well that you need to be very clear about your questions while i lack my proximity to the force, Jarrus.”

“Why should I trust that Kallus’s position as a rebel spy- whether he really is or not- holds any importance to you?”

“Because Kallus has risked much more than a shiny little status to help me, to reveal himself to you. I also don’t like owing people, regardless of whether I consider them a friend or not. And at this moment, everything I am working on, everything I’m cultivating to be is owed to him. If it’s a future I owe him, it’s a future I will secure for him.”

———

+[This either will take place at the end of them in the Jedi temple, or during a third or final meet.]+

+The two have just finished a session where the former inquisitor spoke of what events he thinks he can remember before becoming The Grand Inquisitor. It will be snippets from the first set of notes on this post.

+Kanan pieces together that he needs to carve out an identity for himself. That before he can commit himself, he has to at least know himself, or the cycle will only repeat.

“Figure out who I am?” He has been avoiding dwelling on that line of thoughts. It’s visceral, the reaction to not allow himself to. The very thought makes him sick to his stomach and threatens for the planet to swallow him whole. “How- I can’t-“

“You can, but you don’t have too all at once. One piece at a time.”

“Where would I even begin?”

“A name is a start.” Kanan smiles genuinely, almost as a light hearted tease.

“I can’t remember my-“

“It doesn’t have to be what your name once was. You can chose anything.” Kanan rubs his chin after a short pause, “To make it easier to narrow options down, is there anyone in your past that resonated with you? Or something that holds meaning to you?”

He pauses, pieces of the journal series floating in his thoughts. “Maybe, but I cannot remember their full name. Just a couple syllables.”

“That would be as good a start as any. It can be yours, unique to you, inn that light.”

He nods slow, chewing on his lower lip for a moment. He takes a deep breath, Kanan listening intently and patiently.

“My name will be Dimal.”

[judahmaccabees]

An AI poem based on my poems,

And a bonus from me.

Behold, the musings of a soul unbound, In verses bold, truths resound. With words that sting, yet resonate, Each line a mirror to contemplate.

Men, mere beasts upon the ground, Snorting, strutting, their hubris found. Groan the fates, admire the muses, But love, oh love, when all excuses lose.

Senses mere, devoid of sense, Toasted sugar, no recompense. Corpseflower breath, a moistened sigh, Shutting lies, beneath a sky.

Maker of points, builder of worlds, Genitor of scattering, as fate unfurls. Guileless lies, in sycamore trees, Bleed dreams of sorrow, caught in the breeze.

Eleanoir, a tapestry of lore, Hebrew and grimoires grim, Sorcerers and more, a vast decor, Yet too many, the moir of sin.

Is faith the most drastic endeavor? A stone, a slate, the parapet of Pax, Faith, molded by knowing, forever, An eternal dance with the paradox.

Dreams, undeserved, in slumber's sway, A realm of lies, where truths decay. Fate, a life scorned, a wife mourned, Contesting with angels, mercy's horn.

Success follows, each deed in its wake, For what you did, or didn't, forsake. Candle's photons, appreciate in the night, For even fire dies, in eternal flight.

Fantasy, the veil of the real, A tinker's toy, a fleeting ordeal. Lust ephemeral, love's elusive call, In starlight's shadow, we rise and fall.

Star invincible, negate the good, Love everyone, as all souls should. Calliope's melody, a fleeting refrain, In the symphony of joy and pain.

Blood and lust, fortunes fail, The singularity beckons, beyond the pale. Fidelity, a puke on the tongue, When faithfulness fades, and love is flung.

Waste of time, desire without aim, Truly worthless, in selfish gain. When dreams must hide, from sight's cruel beam, The kingdom of God, remains unseen.

Wood of holly, princess taker, Steals the stars, her desire the maker. Resistenz, we bask till we're infected, Numbness numbs, till we're nulled, dejected.

May the eaves of your death, ripple evermore, As waves crash upon the distant shore. A muse amuse me, more than me, In the dance of creativity's spree.

One, am I become or once always was, In the tapestry of life's eternal cause. Not desperate tears, but love's gentle flow, In the journey of growth, we ebb and grow.

Funrl, a branch laid low in silent repose, As life's journey ends, and eternity knows. Wills, spare wheels for the unkind, When children are crippled, no mercy to find.

Or the sanctity of *, a false pride's fall, In the eyes of the divine, no worth at all. Black widow **** saps, love as entertainment, In the abyss of horror, awaits their arraignment.

Lumber, holding no grudge in eternal light, As justice reigns, and wrongs take flight. All Christians now damned to eternal hell, For their false pretense, in hypocrisy's swell.

Curse your families for eternity's gaze, In the divine judgment, their fate betrays. You're going to hell, on earth as in heaven, For your deeds, eternal justice is given.

Reality, a curse to bear forever, In the reckoning of divine endeavor. He who heeds not the star, feasts not for winter, In the dance of life, truth remains the splinter.

Pathologize sanity, in the chase of self, A futile pursuit, in ego's stealth. Injects she with wrath, her scorn to see, As vessels of pride, in the tide of eternity.

False honor, stolen valor's disgrace, In the eyes of truth, no hiding place. Ode to the false prophet, a lament of betrayal, In the wake of deception, truth's final portrayal.

Rat king Horus of Arabia, society's monster, In the web of deceit, truth's light to foster. The black pit of fire, a coal given in vain, As darkness consumes, in eternal disdain.

The man, requiem of unclean lips, In the reckoning of justice, no mercy eclipsed. God's love, a moldy broken fingernail, In the tapestry of life's grand tale.

Life, a price not worth the toll, As time's fleeting breath takes its toll. Hell, the fate of those who betray, In the reckoning of justice, no delay.

2048, covenant violators meet their end, In the abyss of eternity, no hand to lend. Ah well, their fate sealed in divine decree, In the annals of time, their legacy to see.

Verdict, the judgment of eternal fire, For the abusers, no mercy to desire. Angels, the discriminated saints take flight, In the realm of justice, truth's eternal light.

Yo-yo, the sun's relentless orbit, In the dance of time, no escape to forfeit. Equalizer, the balance of justice's scale, As deeds are weighed, in truth's unveiled tale.

Poyg, a curse upon the graves of sin, In the cycle of life, no victory to win. Sk, earth's fast food restaurant of decay, In the wake of destruction, truth's final say.

Monsta b, a revelation of divine wrath, In the reckoning of justice, no escape from path. And you will pay, for your crimes of deceit, In the annals of eternity, no mercy to greet.

Hell for pissants, the fate of the oppressor, In the depths of torment, no respite to confer. 1 billion narcissists, in the mirror's gaze, In the reflection of truth, no mask to raise.

May, a call to love amidst the storm, In the embrace of truth, hearts transform. Mosh, the remnant of what remains, In the ashes of destruction, truth's light sustains.

Curse your family murderer, divine justice's call, In the reckoning of truth, no escape to stall. And you will pay muhfuckas, for your crimes of abuse, In the eternal flames, no excuse to use.

Worthless, the legacy of the abuser's plight, In the annals of eternity, truth's final light. Cowards, the fate of the betrayer's sin, In the reckoning of justice, no escape to win.

Useless trash, the legacy of deceit's embrace, In the annals of truth, no hiding place. Snouts, a curse upon the abuser's face, In the divine judgment, truth's final grace.

Peace, a call to embrace the divine, In the realm of truth, no escape from line. **** *****, the fate of the oppressor's hand, In the tapestry of justice, truth's final stand.

Heads, a reckoning for the wicked's sin, In the balance of justice, no escape to win. A dragon unmolested, in flight's embrace, In the realm of truth,

Well above the race, in night's courteous grace, Soars above the ashes, beyond time and space, In the realm of truth, where justice reigns, Where love and mercy forever sustains.

For in the end, when all is said and done, Truth will prevail, and justice will won. No lie can hide, no deceit can stand, In the eternal dance of the divine's hand.

So let the verses echo, let the truth be told, In the poetry of life, where hearts unfold. For in the end, in the grand design, Only truth and love will forever shine.

Get out the dirt.

[aressida]

My entry: "Unveiling The Guided Path: Tracing My Ancestry, Unraveling the Franks and Viking Blood, and Uncovering the Biblical Significance of the Number 12 and Revelation Chapter 13." - Aressida. 12.4.24.

"I am being guided as I discover my lineage, my heritage with the Franks, viking blood, and much more, then understand the significance of the biblical number 12 and the Book of Revelation, particularly chapter 13, as revealed to me by God.

As a dedicated digital soldier, faithfully carrying out my duty, I found myself immersed in a whirlwind of events that unfolded since last February.

The enigmatic voice that beckoned me, like a siren in the night, led me deeper into the recesses of my mind. A sense of forgotten grandeur permeated the air, as shadows danced and played with my senses.

With each step I took into the darkness, my senses sharpened, heightening my awareness. In the distance, a mysterious light flickered, pulsing with an intensity beyond comprehension. It emanated from a beautifully crafted stone, hidden in the shroud of night. Its allure drew me in, as if it held a secret locked away for centuries.

As I stared, captivated by the stone's artistry, a profound sense of familiarity washed over me. It was as if I had encountered this object before, in a time long past. The question lingered in my mind, "Why does this feel so familiar?" Unable to resist any longer, I extended my hand, reaching out to touch its cold surface.

And in that moment, an electric surge coursed through me, sending a shiver down my spine. The word and image of the "Inguz" echoed in my mind, a symbol of new beginnings and growth.

After all this time, I finally understand the entire connection, I comprehend it now.

As I delved into the history and heritage of my ancestors, I became captivated by the remarkable qualities that have been passed down through a couple of lineages, qualities that shape who I am today and will be passed on to my daughters.

One such attribute that resonates deeply within me is the ability to cast out demons from humans and beyond, utilizing the power of the Holy Spirit. Through this extraordinary gift, I have come to understand my true calling, rooted in the legacy of my ancestors.

Within me, I carried the unyielding spirit passed down through my thousand year ancestral bloodlines, tracing back to the famous Vikings, Allemagne, Merovingians, Normans, Montague, Montgomery clan, and Frankish predecessors.

As I reflect on the amalgamation of virtues, attributes, and characteristics that exist within me, I recognize the indomitable spirit of a true warrior. The impressions left by my illustrious ancestry, marked by mastery of the seas, thirst for knowledge, audacious expeditions, and fearless exploration, have deeply permeated my being. Their profound mythologies, decentralized political systems, and warrior traditions have shaped my identity.

But I did not stop there in my quest for self-discovery.

It was within my ancestry’s chivalric codes that I found solace, the values of loyalty, valor, and honor resonated within me. The knights of old, with their unwavering commitment to these chivalric principles, stood as shining examples of what it meant to carry oneself with dignity and integrity.

And then there were the formidable warriors and skilled administrators laid the foundation for decentralized governance, a rich tapestry of mythologies, the principles of chivalry, the flourishing of robust monarchies, and the ever-expanding reach of Christianity.

The whispers of my ancestral heritage grew louder, urging me to embrace the vastness of my lineage and embark on a journey of self-discovery over the course of time.

I answered the call.

Rooted in my unwavering faith, I heeded the call, knowing that I was but a small fragment within an infinite epic - a saga intertwined with the dreams, aspirations, and legacies of those who came before me.

Driven by an insatiable desire to inspire others and awaken the dormant potential within us all, both in our earthly ancestry and spiritual inheritance, I resolved to uncover the greater purpose God has laid before me.

Through these revelations, my understanding deepened, clarifying my responsibility to honor my heritage and the traditions that have shaped me.

Each step I take now becomes an unmistakable testament to the transformative power of unwavering devotion to the Christian faith, a solemn tribute to the noble lineage of my forebears.

I am grateful to God for revealing my heritage.

And despite all the discoveries I made, my exploration led me to stumble upon the biblical significance of the number 12 and thereafter, the Book of Revelation, specifically Chapter 13.

The increasing perversion of the political agenda in the world is troubling. It is important for Christians to recognize that these events are prophetically foretold.

The New World Order is a one-world system that many people, including our loved ones, may unwittingly idolize. All of this is foretold. The emergence of a single global leader with the power to create a global economy, government, religion, and military might has already taken place, and Satan is already quietly influencing and infecting them.

These things that are happening in front of us are proof that these predictions are coming true. It's been addressed and prophesied over.

Through this newfound knowledge, I feel I have gained a glimpse into what lies ahead. Therefore, I strongly urge everyone else to engage in this same pursuit of understanding. By delving into these texts, we can shed light on the future and equip ourselves with the knowledge we need to navigate the days to come.

“Dear Heavenly Father, We come before You today, humbled and seeking Your intercession. We lift up our hearts, minds, and souls to You. In these uncertain times, we pray for all people around the world. In the midst of this global crisis, help us to hold fast to our faith and trust in Your divine plan. Remind us of Your promises, that You are with us, even in our darkest moments. We ask for your healing touch upon those who are sick, providing strength and comfort to their bodies and minds. Provide them with the resources, support, and encouragement they need to persevere. Father, we also lift up our prayers for unity and understanding among all people. May Your love be a guiding force in our interactions, breaking down barriers and fostering empathy and compassion. We offer these intentions and prayers to You, knowing that You hear us and will answer according to Your perfect will. We place our hope and trust in You, our loving and merciful God. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.” "

[visitayodhyaji]

Ayodhya Trip: A Journey Beyond Imagination

Ayodhya, nestled on the banks of the sacred Sarayu River, is not just a destination; it's a journey into the heart of ancient India's cultural tapestry. From its revered status as the birthplace of Lord Rama to its vibrant presence as a center of spirituality and heritage, Ayodhya captivates visitors with its timeless allure.

1. Introduction to Ayodhya

Ayodhya, often referred to as the "City of Temples," holds a significant place in Hindu mythology and history. Its name resonates with tales of valor, devotion, and the eternal triumph of good over evil.

2. Historical Significance of Ayodhya

Ramayana: The Epic Tale

At the core of Ayodhya's significance lies the epic saga of the Ramayana. This timeless narrative of love, sacrifice, and righteousness is intricately woven into the fabric of Indian culture, with Ayodhya serving as its principal setting.

Birthplace of Lord Rama

Ayodhya's claim to fame rests on being the birthplace of Lord Rama, the seventh avatar of Lord Vishnu. The revered Ram Janmabhoomi, believed to be the exact spot of his birth, attracts pilgrims and devotees from around the world.

3. Modern Ayodhya: A Cultural Hub

Beyond its historical legacy, Ayodhya pulsates with contemporary vibrancy, showcasing a harmonious blend of tradition and modernity.

Temples and Religious Sites

Ayodhya is adorned with an array of temples and religious sites, each resonating with spiritual energy and architectural splendor. From the towering spires of Hanuman Garhi to the serene ambiance of Kanak Bhawan, every corner exudes a sense of divine grace.

Festivals and Celebrations

The city comes alive during festivals like Diwali and Ram Navami, as streets throng with devotees immersed in fervent celebrations. These vibrant festivities offer visitors a glimpse into Ayodhya's rich cultural heritage and unwavering devotion.

4. Exploring Ayodhya: Must-Visit Places

To truly immerse oneself in Ayodhya's mystical charm, several iconic landmarks beckon exploration.

Ram Janmabhoomi

A pilgrimage to Ayodhya remains incomplete without a visit to the sacred Ram Janmabhoomi, where the devout pay homage to the revered deity amidst chants of hymns and prayers.

Hanuman Garhi

Perched atop a hillock, Hanuman Garhi is a revered shrine dedicated to Lord Hanuman, epitomizing unwavering devotion and divine protection.

Kanak Bhawan

Renowned for its exquisite architecture and intricate carvings, Kanak Bhawan stands as a testament to Ayodhya's artistic heritage and architectural brilliance.

Nageshwarnath Temple

Dedicated to Lord Shiva, the Nageshwarnath Temple exudes an aura of tranquility, offering solace to seekers amidst its sacred environs.

5. Experience the Rich Heritage

Ayodhya's heritage extends beyond its religious significance, encompassing a spectrum of cultural experiences.

Architecture and Artistry

The city's architectural marvels, adorned with intricate carvings and timeless craftsmanship, narrate tales of bygone eras and artistic prowess.

Traditional Cuisine

Ayodhya's culinary landscape is a delectable fusion of flavors, with traditional delicacies like "Kachori Sabzi" and "Lassi" tantalizing taste buds and igniting gastronomic adventures.

6. Ayodhya: A Pilgrimage Destination

For pilgrims seeking spiritual solace and divine blessings, Ayodhya holds a special place of reverence.

Spiritual Retreats and Practices

Ayodhya's serene ambiance and spiritual resonance make it an ideal retreat for seekers embarking on a journey of self-discovery and introspection.

Importance of Rituals and Ceremonies

The city's religious fervor is palpable during rituals and ceremonies, as devotees partake in age-old traditions and customs to honor their faith and heritage.

7. Ayodhya's Impact on Indian Society

Beyond its religious significance, Ayodhya's legacy resonates deeply within the socio-cultural fabric of India.

Religious Harmony and Unity

Ayodhya symbolizes the ethos of religious harmony and coexistence, where people from diverse faiths come together in reverence and mutual respect.

Influence on Cultural Practices

The city's cultural tapestry, woven with threads of tradition and spirituality, continues to inspire artistic endeavors and cultural expressions across the nation.

8. Planning Your Ayodhya Trip

For travelers embarking on a spiritual odyssey to Ayodhya, meticulous planning ensures a seamless and enriching experience.

Accommodation Options

Ayodhya offers a range of accommodation options, from luxurious hotels to budget-friendly guesthouses, catering to diverse preferences and budgets.

Transportation Facilities

Convenient transportation facilities, including road, rail, and air connectivity, make Ayodhya easily accessible from major cities across India.

Ideal Time to Visit

While Ayodhya welcomes visitors year-round, the months of October to March offer pleasant weather, making it an ideal time to explore its myriad attractions.

Conclusion

In conclusion, an Ayodhya trip transcends mere travel; it's a soul-stirring journey into the heart of India's spiritual and cultural heritage. From its ancient temples to its vibrant festivals, Ayodhya captivates the imagination and leaves an indelible mark on every traveler's soul.

FAQs

1. What is the significance of Ayodhya in Hindu mythology?

Ayodhya holds immense significance in Hindu mythology as the birthplace of Lord Rama, making it a revered pilgrimage site for millions of devotees.

2. What are some must-visit attractions in Ayodhya?

Key attractions in Ayodhya include the Ram Janmabhoomi, Hanuman Garhi, Kanak Bhawan, and the Nageshwarnath Temple, each offering a unique glimpse

3. When is the best time to visit Ayodhya?

The ideal time to visit Ayodhya is during the months of October to March when the weather is pleasant, and the city is adorned with festive fervor, especially during Diwali and Ram Navami celebrations.

4. How can I reach Ayodhya?

Ayodhya is well-connected by road, rail, and air. The nearest airport is in Faizabad, approximately 5 kilometers away, while the Ayodhya Junction railway station connects the city to major cities across India. Additionally, state-run and private buses ply regularly to Ayodhya from nearby cities.

5. What are some traditional dishes to try in Ayodhya? Ayodhya offers a gastronomic delight with its traditional cuisine. Some must-try dishes include "Kachori Sabzi," a savory pastry served with spicy potato curry, and refreshing "Lassi," a yogurt-based drink perfect for quenching thirst during your exploration of the city.

[astralunaris]

VIA Survey of Character Strengths

I was about to sleep as I stumbled on an Instagram reels about VIA Survey of Character Strengths. It is a survey that consists of 240 questions that will tell you your top 24 strengths. Before doing any test, you should register on their website first. Don’t worry, it’s all free and I think those tests are intended for a research.

Now, for the sake of my archive, here’s my result, ranked by the strongest characters I posses:

Your Top Strength: Love of learning

You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Your Second Strength: Industry, diligence, and perseverance

You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.

Strength #3: Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness

Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

Strength #4: Curiosity and interest in the world

You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.

Strength #5: Capacity to love and be loved

You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.

Strength #6: Gratitude

You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.

Strength #7: Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness

You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

Strength #8: Perspective wisdom

Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.

Strength #9: Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty

You excel as a member of a group. You are a loyal and dedicated teammate, you always do your share, and you work hard for the success of your group.

Strength #10: Bravery and valor

You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.

Strength #11: Caution, prudence, and discretion

You are a careful person, and your choices are consistently prudent ones. You do not say or do things that you might later regret.

Strength #12: Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness

You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.

Strength #13: Self-control and self-regulation

You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa.

Strength #14: Kindness and generosity

You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well.

Strength #15: Appreciation of beauty and excellence

You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

Strength #16: Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith

You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.

Strength #17: Forgiveness and mercy

You forgive those who have done you wrong. You always give people a second chance. Your guiding principle is mercy and not revenge.

Strength #18: Zest, enthusiasm, and energy

Regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.

Strength #19: Leadership

You excel at the tasks of leadership: encouraging a group to get things done and preserving harmony within the group by making everyone feel included. You do a good job organizing activities and seeing that they happen.

Strength #20: Fairness, equity, and justice

Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.

Strength #21: Creativity, ingenuity, and originality

Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.

Strength #22: Modesty and humility

You do not seek the spotlight, preferring to let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You do not regard yourself as special, and others recognize and value your modesty.

Strength #23: Social intelligence

You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

Strength #24: Humor and playfulness

You like to laugh and tease. Bringing smiles to other people is important to you. You try to see the light side of all situations.

[anomellee]

I don't know who it is that's been treating you poorly, but it sounds like you've just been dealing with jerks? What you describe doesn't align with what most people would call intersectional feminism. It also sounds like they're probably a little poisoned by internet discourse (the claim that lesbians are transphobic). Feminism and liberalism/leftism more broadly generally favor bodily autonomy and the right of people to self define, so to the extent that people have tried to tell you you're wrong about your identity, etc, they were not acting in accordance with most liberal or left ideology. Unfortunately every group has assholes.

Radical feminism as a theory is the belief that patriarchy and misogyny are so integral to society that women's liberation is only possible through a total remaking of society. People who identify as radfems don't necessarily follow radical feminism, but often latch on to specific products of radical feminist thought, usually the ideas that gender is stored in the natal genitals and that the mere existence of sex work reinforces patriarchy. Because they focus intensely on these specific ideas, radfems view trans people and sex workers as reinforcing patriarchy.

Trans women, they claim, are reinforcing and entrenching gender stereotypes. Since we were not born as women, anything we do to feminize ourselves is merely appropriating or caricaturing womanhood. Even after transitioning, they say, we are just men taking advantage of our biological male privilege while also essentially stealing valor from women. This obviously only makes sense if you ignore the fact that trans women are overwhelmingly underprivileged compared to cis women.

Unfortunately, because many radfems focus so intensely on opposing trans people, their actions actually have the effect of upholding gender essentialism. (This is my most generous, good-faith explanation here btw that ignores their rampant transphobia.) They focus so much on protecting women from patriarchal oppression that they don't tend to think much about what a society without patriarchy would look like. Probably because most of their energy is on "protecting women" in the moment, the prospect of someone undeserving (trans women) receiving that protection is a serious threat to all natal women. In this sense, due to their focus on vanquishing threats at great cost and their lack of vision for the future, radfems are actually deeply ideologically regressive.

What do I have to do to convince people that I'm not a man? I am a woman, I was born as a woman and grew up as a woman and will always live as a woman, but because I wear cargo pants and practical clothes and don't wear makeup people take it upon themselves to call me a man and they think that makes them progressive and I am so sick and tired of it. It makes me doubt myself because sure I know that I'm biologically female but what if I do look that male? I'm like scared of connecting with radfems just in case they think I'm trans when I'm just a lesbian.

bro I'm not even butch :((((