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sebuckyverse · 2 years ago

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for a good time, call [4]

modern!rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

series summary: Eddie Munson is a burnt out rockstar, touring the country. When he finds a phone number written on a bathroom wall, he strikes an unusual friendship with a coffee shop barista who has no idea who he is.

warnings: 18+ cussing, m!masturbation, dirty talk, flirting, self-doubt, misunderstandings, mutual pining, angst, strangers to friends to lovers word count: 5,2k

an: the penultimate chapter!! i'm sorry for... the ending mwahaha, i love pain y'all know that. anyway i hope you like it as always, pls let me know. don't forget to reblog babes! <3

chapter three ♫ masterlist ♫ askbox

chapter four ♫♪♩·.¸¸

Eddie's in New York. He loves this city, the one that never sleeps. It's so different from Hawkins. New York is fast paced, bustling crowds full of people rushing to wherever they were going. Eddie feels like he blends in, no one pays attention to him because they don't have the time typically. The past two weeks have been quick, time is flying by with the end of the year in sight. Eddie's been busy too. Besides his usual routine of touring, he's been silently seeking new management. He's had a couple meetings with potential new managers, under the radar of course. They were both successful, he'd say. But there was one woman who he really liked. She was a bit older, in her 40s maybe, but she was smart, experienced and compassionate when Eddie talked about his professional struggles with his current team. She kind of reminded him of his mom, too...

The two shows they have in Madison Square Garden start tomorrow and to be honest, he feels bittersweet about it. This is literally his dream coming true, both shows have been nearly sold out too. While he's extremely grateful to be playing at one of the biggest stages, he feels guilt and shame, it's been gnawing his stomach the moment they arrived in the city last night. He didn't get much sleep over it, either, and he gave up trying when the sun first peeked out from the horizon.

It's only a little after 7am, when he takes a walk through the concrete jungle, walking past the Garden with the Empire State Building looming behind it. He's in comfortable clothes - light blue jeans, ripped at the left knee and right thigh, a simple grey hoodie pulled over his head, with his hair in a low bun underneath and his signature jean vest pulled on top, rocking a pair of white high top sneakers on his feet. And since it was early morning and he wasn't in work mode yet, he had his glasses on. Round shaped with thick, clear rims. From his left pocket, he pulls out his phone and finally dials the number he's been avoiding like the plague.

''Eddie? Is that you, son?'' Wayne's voice shoots out after a couple of rings.

''Yeah, it's me.'' Eddie sighs, thankful he was outside as he could already feel his chest tightening. ''Before you say anything, j-just let me explain, please.''

Wayne doesn't say anything and Eddie takes a deep breath before letting go, ''I've been stupid and selfish. I've let other people control me and my life for so long now, when I should've been the one in charge. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I trusted the wrong people. I pushed you away because you were the only sensible thing I had left and I didn't want you to see the loser I had become. Unbeknownst to them, someone has helped me see the things a bit more clearly. I'm still figuring some stuff out, but I just wanted you to know that I'm really fucking sorry and I miss you.''

He feels like a ton has been lifted off his shoulders. Eddie sniffs and clears his throat. It takes Wayne a minute to process, so he just keeps walking in silence.

''First of all, you're not stupid. You're young and making mistakes is part of growing up. Now I would have appreciated if you had figured things out sooner, but I'm glad you did. I didn't want to push too much, I knew you needed to fight your way out of this yourself. I've been keeping tabs on you, some kids showed me the way around a computer.'' Wayne chuckles and it makes Eddie huff along, too. ''I miss you too, son. You're the furthest thing from a failure, Ed, and I'm very proud of you. You're a brilliant young man, I need you to remember that.''

Eddie swallows thickly, fixing his glasses. ''You're the one I look up to, so whatever I may be - it all came from you.''

''Oh, I don't know about any of that,'' his uncle drawls, ''you were always independent, looked out for yourself. I was just there when you needed me.''

''I always need you. I'm in New York right now, we're playing the Garden... Like I always wanted,'' Eddie says, his voice getting quieter.

''What's the matter then? You don't sound too happy about it.''

''No, I am,'' Eddie defended, ''It's just weird without you here, I guess I always pictured it differently. I was thinking - maybe I could fly you out for a show?''

''I'd like that. Not tomorrow though, I'm working,'' Wayne replied and Eddie smiled to himself, blinking away the (happy) tears that threatened to fall.

''That's fine, the day after tomorrow then? It's two shows.''

''Sounds like a plan.''

''Shit, okay. Let me work out some details and I'll text you later?''

''That's fine, Ed. Listen, I'm thrilled that you called but duty calls. I have used up all of my smoke break minutes for today,'' Wayne joked.

''Yeah, okay.'' Eddie chuckled. ''I'll see you in two days, then.''

''Two days,'' his uncle confirmed.

They said their goodbyes and Eddie hung up, unable to process what just happened. He mentally kicked himself for not doing this sooner, he would have felt a lot better a long time ago. With a lot more prep in his step, Eddie googled the nearest coffee shop. He needed the caffeine for today and his stomach was grumbling, he left the hotel way before breakfast was served. After following the instructions his phone told him, he arrived in front of a corner shop with. He stood in front of it, hesitating. Is this were you worked at? What would he do if you did? He could already see a girl behind the counter - was that you? He had no idea what you looked like. Would he recognize you by just your voice? Only one way to find out.

He pulled the door open and stepped inside, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and warm bread hitting him in a wave.

''Good morning,'' the girl behind the counter cheered. She sounded similar, sure, but he couldn't tell 100%.

''Uh, hi.'' Eddie stepped closer to the counter, pretending to look around.

''What can I get- oh, it's you.'' the girl gasped and Eddie froze. ''You're Eddie, right?'' she whispered.

Oh shit, was this it? Was it you? He didn't feel like it was you. He had a special feeling whenever he talked to you, which you two had been doing almost every day now. He had started feeling shitty about not coming clean about who he was, you had opened up so much already, when he had only given you crumbs. You didn't seem to mind though, or if you did you didn't show it.

''Yeah..'' Eddie blinked, playing with his glasses, his hands shaking a little bit.

''Wow, you're really cool. I saw you and your band live a few weeks ago. You're great!'' she said coolly, a polite smile on her face.

Eddie smile back politely, hiding his disappointment. It wasn't you, obviously. He was stupid to think he'd find you at the very first coffee shop he set his foot in. ''Oh, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.''

''Yeah, I have to admit I wasn't a fan before, but my girlfriend dragged me along. Anyway, I actually really liked it, so...''

''Hey, that's cool. Anyway,'' he cleared his throat, ''you got any good coffee?''

''Oh, for sure. Here or to go? What kind of coffee would you like?''

Eddie gave his order and she typed away on her screen. Black coffee, medium size, two sugars, to go. His empty stomach also didn't go unnoticed. ''Got any pastry recommendations?''

''Sweet or savoury?'' the girl asked, sliding his cup towards him on the counter, topping it with a lid.

''I'm not sure. Sweet maybe?'' Eddie cocked his head, looking at the display of shiny golden bread in front of him.

''I'd recommend the chocolate croissant or the almond buttercream eclair. The croissant is our most popular one, but the eclair is my friends favorite.''

''I'll go with the eclair then,'' he decided, pulling out his wallet and digging for some cash.

The girl packed his pastry in a box and placed it on the counter next to his coffee. Eddie threw her a twenty, even though his bill was 11 dollars. ''Keep the change. You've been most helpful...''

''Robin,'' she finished.

''Robin, thank you. Hope to see you at another show!''

Eddie walked the long way back to the hotel, sipping his coffee and munching on his eclair. Both of which were incredible, by the way. He figured he'd go back if he had the time. When he got back to his room, he had finished the food and took the last sip of coffee, throwing it in the empty basket under the desk.

.•♫•♬•

You were out of the city, in Brooklyn, near Brighton Beach where your parents lived. You had taken four days off work to come dog sit your parents dog while they went on a 3-night spa getaway. You were walking Dolly, your parents' 4 year old French bulldog, through the all familiar streets of where you grew up. There was a farmers' market in town, so you headed there, Dolly leading the way. You picked up vegetables for a soup you were making later, some herbs and a whole bag of kiwis.

Making your way back to your parents' house, your mind drifted to where it always was these days, Eddie. You'd been speaking for a while now, and there was an itch at the back of your mind. You were holding back the urge to google him. It was natural, you though, you could then easily put a face to the voice you had been speaking with. Any normal person would hop straight on the internet when they find out they're talking to a celebrity, right?

You didn't want to be that girl, but you did wonder what kind of relationship you had with him. It's been what, like a month, you went from complete strangers to friends, to him coaxing you to an orgasm over the phone, to... what? You couldn't call him just a friend anymore, it felt more than that. Friends don't have phone sex, either. You had feelings for him, romantic ones. They were simmering, like hot soup under a lid. You didn't want to bring it up first too, asking the age old question - what are we? That would scare him off for sure.

You got back to the house just before it started drizzling rain. You removed your coat, hat and gloves then cleaned Dolly up and let her roam the house. You grabbed your purchases and made your way to the kitchen, where your phone was charging on the island. You saw that you had a message from Robin, multiple messages actually. You grabbed the device and unlocked it, swiping through her messages.

11.52am - Robin ''OMG you have no idea who I met this morning!''

11.52am - Robin ''I would call you but we're so busy today, I'm literally peeing right now so I could text you.''

11.52am - Robin ''EDDIE MUNSON was here, I can't believe it. I texted Cherry too, she's been here since 8am. Said she's gonna be here all day in the off chance he comes back. She wants a pic.''

11.52am - Robin ''Anyway, he's from that band we saw about a month ago. Really sexy up close!!''

You blinked, staring at the screen. You were only focused on two words, a name really. Eddie Munson... From a band. A musician, then. Your heart thumped in your chest. Was it him? You didn't really believe in silly coincidences. Finally breaking, you quickly pulled up the search bar and googled the name. A ton of pictures, videos, news articles popped up. You only intended on looking at pictures, you didn't mean to look at the news articles. But once you started, you fell down the rabbit hole, unable to get out.

Corroded Coffin star Eddie Munson seen leaving restaurant with Victoria's Secret model.

'Eddie Munson snorted coke off my ass' ex-girlfriend Madeline claims!

Corroded Coffin frontman leaving band? Manager denies claim!

You read through multiple articles, all accompanied with pictures of him. A woman next to him in every photo, tall, skinny, perfect skin. You didn't concentrate too much on the women, otherwise you'd only hurt your own feelings. You looked at him, marveling at different angles taken of him on stage, his long wild hair flipping in the air.

''Oh shit,'' you gasped as you remembered a few weeks ago, when he first called you. You had walked by a poster of him without even knowing who it was. But looking at the pictures on your phone, you knew it was your Eddie. You felt it in your bones.

You went to Youtube and searched his name there too. You noticed a late night interview he had done, uploaded just last week. You clicked on it and watched the whole thing. You felt strange watching him like this. He wasn't just some faceless fantasy you had developed feelings for, he was real. He talked animatedly with the host, talking about their tour.

''Yeah, we're super excited. Very grateful to be playing Madison Square Garden next week, two shows. It's wild.''

Madison Square Garden? New York? Next week - this week, then? This was the first time you were hearing about any of this. It was already the middle of the week. You went to Instagram, searched up Corroded Coffins account (surprisingly, you didn't find Eddie's personal account) and clicked on it. There was a new picture uploaded, just an hour ago. Eddie was standing in front of the arena's entrance, his back facing the camera. And there he was, in your city, without telling you.

You took a deep breath. It's fine, it's only the afternoon. He's probably busy. You followed the account and looked through their stories. There was a reposted story of someone else's, it was a picture of a girl holding two tickets. What caught you off guard, however, was the caption of the photo.

''Thanks for the VIP tickets Eddie! Can't wait to see you tonight!!''

Then you noticed the girl's username and it seemed familiar. It clicked to you that it was the same Madeline you read about earlier, his ex then.

Your stomach dropped. He hasn't mentioned anything to you about being in New York, but invites his ex to go see him, probably backstage too. God knows if they were even broken up, you certainly wouldn't know. You felt betrayed, stupid for not being cautious enough. You believed every word he had said, never having a reason to doubt he might be lying about anything. Were you just some distraction for him? Was he just pulling you along because he was bored? Maybe this is why he was hesitant to reveal who he was, maybe he was scared you would find out who he was and catch on to him.

Just as you felt tears of frustration pool in your eyes, he texted you, almost like he could sense something was wrong.

13.01pm - Eddie ''Hey Kiwi girl, how are you? Miss you!''

Frustrated that he could still make your stomach turn upside down, you called Robin instead.

''Hey babe, called at just the right time, I just went on lunch. It's a madhouse today. Did you see what I texted you by the way?'' Robin rambled on the other side.

''Yeah.. I know him.''

''What? No, you don't. You don't listen to that kind of music.''

''Rob, I know him. He's the guy I've been texting,'' you admitted.

''What?!'' she shrieked. ''When? How?''

You sighed, dropping onto the living room couch, bringing your legs underneath you. ''I just found out myself. He told me his name was Eddie and that he was a musician but that's all I knew. I just put the pieces together when you texted.''

''That's insane!'' Robin replied, her words muffled as she was crunching on something. ''Are you going to meet him, then? Are they playing a show?''

''Yeah, tomorrow. He didn't even tell me he was coming, though...''

''Really? That's strange. I thought you said you liked him.''

''Yeah, I do! I don't think he feels the same,'' you swallowed the lump in your throat. ''I found out he sent his ex some tickets though.''

''No fucking way,'' your best friend noted.

''Way.''

''Maybe it's all just a misunderstanding,'' she offered tenderly.

''Pff, or maybe it was too good to be true. Maybe I was an idiot, like always.''

''Hey! You are not an idiot. If everything you said is true then he is a scumbag and I'm on your side, always. I can let Cherry know, too. She'll probably pepper spray him the next time she sees him.''

''I don't condone that, but thanks,'' you chuckled, picking at the woolly fabric of the armrest.

''What if you just asked him about it?''

''I don't know,'' you dragged out the words, letting Dolly hop on the couch and snuggle up to you. ''What makes you think he'd tell the truth?''

''Would he have a reason to lie?'' she asked.

''No? I'm not sure.''

''See - that's why you have to find out! You don't even know what's going on but you're already jumping to conclusions. That's not fair to him either.''

''Why do you always have to make so much sense?'' you sighed, feeling guilty that you had assumed things too quickly. Maybe she was right, Eddie had mentioned things being written about him in the tabloids. Most of the times, the media grasps onto any straw they can, whether it be true or false. You couldn't allow yourself to fall into that trap. ''So I just tell him I figured out who he is?''

''Might as well. How long can you guys keep this anonymity up, anyway.''

''That's true,'' you quipped, deep in thought. ''What did he order today, by the way?''

.•♫•♬•

Eddie was nervous. He sent you that text five hours ago and you had yet to reply. You hadn't even opened it. It's unusual for you to not reply for this long, Eddie was starting to get worried. Had something happened to you? He's been trying to buy plane tickets for Wayne for about an hour now, without luck as he keeps getting distracted. He decided to take a break when he typed in his email address incorrectly, three times. He had a list of things he was supposed to get done today, but so far he had managed to do nothing. He needed to pick out an outfit for tomorrow's show, he had to ask someone to get him a new pair of contacts because he lost his, get tickets for Wayne obviously.

Just as he was about to send you another text, you called him. He picked up instantly.

''Y/N, hey. I was getting worried.''

''Sorry, I was... I was actually ignoring you.''

Confused, Eddie sat up straighter. ''Why? Did I do something wrong, did I say something to upset you?''

''No, it's actually what you didn't do,'' you sing-songed in response. ''Enjoy that eclair today, Eddie?''

Time stilled, the Earth ceased rotating, Eddie stopped breathing. ''H-how do you know about that?''

''My best friend Robin told me,'' you said matter-of-factly. Eddie almost dropped his phone. This wasn't happening. Robin? Rob!? He couldn't believe he didn't put two and two together this morning, even as it was staring at him right in the face. He was there, where you worked. He talked to your best friend. Eddie felt like he was in that movie The Lakehouse, where the two characters were at the same place, but at a different time.

''You didn't tell me you were playing at the Garden tomorrow,'' you teased him but he could also hear the note of sadness.

''I'm sorry,'' he blurted out, ''I meant to tell you, I swear! It's just... You're so good and I didn't think you would be interested in me, apart from this,'' he gestured to the phone as if somehow you could see it, but you still seemed to catch on.

''Oh, Eddie. That's not true. Look, I can't lie to you. I did google you after Robin called me and said that the famous Eddie Munson came by.''

Not gonna lie, his full name sounded heavenly coming from you. He was relieved, mostly, that now you knew everything. He didn't have to hold back anymore.

''And I saw some things, for sure. Did you really snort cocaine off of someone's ass?''

''Oh my fucking God,'' he groaned, rubbing his eyes tiredly. ''That is the worst rumor I've ever heard about myself. I definitely didn't, you can trust me on that.''

''Okay,'' you giggled and Eddie felt lighter already. ''But, um, would you like to meet, then? It's okay if you don't, there's-''

''Yes.''

''Oh, okay, good,'' now you were the one who sounded nervous, breathing uneven into the microphone.

''Can you come to the show tomorrow? I'd see you right fucking now if I could, but today won't work out for me. I can put your name on a list, you just say it at the door and they'll let you in.''

''Yeah, I can do that.''

He smiled, biting his bottom lip. ''Can't wait, sweetheart.''

''If you think you're off the hook that easy, Eddie Munson, think again.''

Wiped that smile right off his face.

''What are you doing right now?'' you asked.

''Uh, nothing, just at my hotel room.''

''Good, can you lay down on the bed for me, pretty boy?''

Shit.

Eddie followed your command and laid down, resting his head against the soft pillows, his legs splayed wide on the bed.

''Now I want you to take out your cock and stroke it 'til it's hard,'' you instructed, voice smooth as honey. ''I saw pictures of you, you're real pretty, Eds.''

Eddie whimpered at the compliment, his cheeks flushing. He switched his phone so he could push his sweatpants down, just enough so he could free his already half hard member. Spitting in his hand, he wrapped his fist around himself, pulling on it slowly, smearing his spit all over the head.

''Such a good boy, I can already hear it. Does that feel good?''

''Y-yeah,'' Eddie's hips bucked as he ran his fist up and down, gripping tightly at the base and then running back up again, brushing his thumb over the slit, pre-cum dripping.

''Keep going, tell me how good it feels.''

''So good,'' his chest heaving, bolts of pleasure shooting up his veins, he continued to pump himself. ''Wish it was your hand instead, o-or your mouth or pussy, fuck.''

''What about my ass, Eddie? Would you fuck my asshole too if I asked?''

''Jesusss...''

''Tell me when you're close,'' you moaned out, just to stir him on.

''I'm about two seconds away from busting.''

''Stop!'' you barked.

''What? What happened?''

''Oh, you don't get to cum. Take that as your punishment,'' your evil laugh ranged through the phone.

''Fuck, you're mean,'' he groaned, fisting the sheets below him to stop himself from going back to his cock. ''I hope this isn't too forward, but I'm going to fuck the shit out of you tomorrow.''

.•♫•♬•

The day is here, finally you would meet Eddie. This whole thing has been fast, you admit, it's only been a month or so. Somehow that didn't scare you, like you thought it might. You were buzzing with excitement, even a little nauseous. You were a little anxious as well, it always made your tummy sensitive, so you had a small breakfast that morning.

Robin had agreed to come watch Dolly while you were away, probably dragging Cherry along, too. The day seemed to drag on and on. Robin promised to be there an hour before you had to leave to hype you up - that's what she said.

You didn't sleep last night, thinking how tonight will go. You weren't so much nervous to meet him, you already know what he looks like, who he is. What tugged at the back of your mind was, what would he think of you. You didn't look anything like the girls he had been pictured with. You didn't think you were ugly either, you were just... you. Would you be enough?

When you decide it was time to get ready, you showered and shaved every inch of your body, Eddie's promise last night very fresh in your mind, still. Since you didn't expect to go to a rock concert tonight, your outfit would have to do with whatever you packed. You were torn between a skirt or pants. Figuring the atmosphere would most likely be.. heavy, you went with the safe option of your black jeans. You matched them with a graphic tee, paired with shiny black Dr. Martens boots. Make up simple, as again, you didn't prepare for this and didn't have time to make a stop at home - mascara, some powder, a nude gloss.

Robin knocked on the front door just as you were screwed the cap back on your lipgloss. You let her in, Cherry following behind just as you thought. ''You look bomb, but just so you know, I would much rather be at the show than babysit some smushed face baby seal.''

As if Cherry had blown a dog whistle, Dolly appeared from the living room and trotted right up to her. ''Oh, hiii.''

You rolled your eyes in amusement. ''Your girlfriend is weird.''

Robin pulled you into a hug. ''She's just upset she can't go to the show. But I told her we're helping with the love story of the century and she caved. Cherry loves love.''

''Don't be dramatic,'' you huffed.

You walked Robin through the basics about Donna, what and how much to feed her, when she wants to go outside. Cherry was meanwhile busy rubbing baby seal's belly.

You slipped on your jacket and said your goodbyes, Robin wishing you good luck and hopped in your car. The drive back only took about 20 minutes, but it was enough time to fill your body with nerves. It took a few minutes to find a parking space, but you were lucky as you found one pretty close to the building. People were already lined up, but it looked like the line was moving at a normal pace, the doors were already open. You followed in line with others, seeing the entrance up ahead, Corroded Coffin's name on the billboard above it in big bold letters. You got to the front considerably quickly, the security guard asking for your ticket.

''Um, I'm supposed to be on the list, I think.'' You told him your name and the guy scanned his tablet, then nodded and let you through after taking a quick glance at your crossbody purse.

The floor was open plan, seating only on the upper floors. You made your way somewhere to the left hand side, as the first floor was already full of people. It was a bit far, but you could still see the stage. The microphones were already lined up, drum set at the back of the stage. It was 5 minutes until the opening act, when you got a text.

21.55pm - Eddie ''Are you here?''

21.56pm - Y/N ''Yes.''

21.56pm - Eddie ''What are you wearing? ;)''

21.56pm - Y/N ''Idiot.''

After a couple minutes, the lights went out and the opening act took to the stage, to a lukewarm reception. The band was alright, you guessed, you had never heard of them obviously. You bobbed your head to some of the songs, even took a few pictures. The set went by quick and now you only had to wait 30 more minutes for the main act, to the one you were here for.

By the time it was time for the main event, more people had filled the arena and now you were pretty squished, girls and guys on every side of you. You squeezed past some people, looking for more room at the back. You found a big enough space and settled there. The lights went out again and this time, the crowd roared. Music started playing and the drummer came out first, followed by three other guys a minute later. There he was, in all of his glory, guitar strapped over his shoulder. He smirked at the crowd and hit the first note on his guitar, followed by the high pitch eruption of women in the audience.

The show started, and though this music was not your prefered genre, you were absolutely mesmerized. Eddie's stage presence was magnetic, he owned the the entire arena. All eyes were on him as he strummed different notes and flipped his hair around, screaming, singing and even moaning into the microphone. People yelled, jumped, pushed around. Not to mention the mosh pit in the middle of the floor.

As Eddie sang the songs, his eyes kept looking around. Was he looking for you? You wanted to scoot closer, but it was impossible. The crowd was wild even at the back, you couldn't even imagine what was happening at the barricade.

They played for more than an hour. As the show came to a close, you clapped and cheered just like everybody else. He was amazing, the band was amazing. They all bowed, the bassist threw his picks at the girls in front of him. Eddie thanked the audience, his voice tired and raspy and so sexy. ''Hey Kiwi girl, come find me.''

You blushed, though nobody knew he was talking about you. You waited a while, watching the crowd slowly pushing out, before you had any room to made to the front. You made it to the barricade and and called another security guard over.

''Hi, I think I'm supposed to go backstage.'' You told him your name and that you had an invite from Eddie himself. He took a sceptic look at you and spoke something into his walkie talkie before ushering you closer and helping you over the railing.

He asked you to follow him and lead the way from the stage through a door, into a long corridor. Your ears were ringing from the loud music and your heart was doing flips. ''It's the last door to the left.''

You thanked the guard and he left. You took a deep breath and walked to the door, raising your hand to know, but the door flew open before you had the chance.

''Oh, sorry. Are you looking for someone?'' a guy, who you recognized as the drummer, asked. His face was all sweaty and he was holding a towel in his hand. There was commotion coming from the room and you looked over his shoulder, your breath hitching as you saw Eddie sitting on a sofa.

But he wasn't alone, far from it. Sitting next to him was the same girl, Madeline, her arms on his shoulders. Kissing him.

.•♫•♬•

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she-is-juniper · 2 years ago

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temptation greets you like your naughty friend (joel miller x reader) // chapter one

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader chapter title: the arrangement summary: joel miller likes to be made to feel in control; reader like to be made to feel helpless. thus, an arrangement is born, no strings attached. but there’s more than meets the eye to this gruff survivor.... This story takes place in the Boston QZ roughly 10 years after the outbreak begins, and Reader and Joel are business partners in the illegal smuggling trade. word count: 5K rating: E (Explicit) ***18+ only. minors DNI or you will be blocked. content/warnings: there’s a lot…. dom!Joel, no use of y/n, unprotected sex, established relationship, age gap (reader is in her 20s, Joel in his late 40s), oral s*x (f receiving), squ*rting, some degradation/humiliation but in a lighthearted way, some begging, a splash of a “sir” kink, some angst and resolution, porn with a bit of a plot, spanking, power play (all of this is consensual). Also Tess exists but she and Joel are not together a/n: ah, yes, the fanfic to end a hiatus... ♡ I recommend reading this one before bed so you can, yknow, have nice wet dreams about it while you sleep. to my long time readers/fans: hiii i missed y'all! to my new readers/fans: enjoyyy and please reach out to introduce yourself! i’m always looking to make new friends ◡̈ ((I do not claim to own the last of us or any other affiliated names or fictional events. Other details, such as names, locations, and events, are also fictionalized. Please note that the representations of body types in my moodboard are not intended to exclude anybody of any race, ethnicity, or body shape. And please, for the love of all that is holy, comment/reblog/send asks if you want to see more of my writing—it’s the only form of repayment i ask for!!! thank you in advance!))

———

A hardened man like Joel Miller has a lot to offer a woman like you. Particularly in the form of desperate, mind-numbing sex.

The kind of sex that makes you forget your own name. Makes you forget the sting of whatever injuries you’d suffered this week at the hands of thugs and hunters. Not to mention, makes you forget, even if just for an hour or two, the fact that you’re living in the aftermath of the apocalypse in a world savaged by infected monsters.

That’s the kind of sex you and Joel both crave. The kind that takes away the crushing weight of repressed memories and feelings. The kind of sex where there’s nothing left to think about but the way his cock fills you up and his lips steal the breath from your lungs. The kind of sex that, after a day’s worth of decision fatigue as Tess’s right-hand woman as a contraband smuggler in the Boston QZ, you finally don’t have to make a single decision for yourself, as your pleasure is entirely in Joel’s expert hands.

Just sex, nothing else. Plain and simple. That’s the arrangement as you know it. No cuddling in bed after, no exchanging tender kisses, no talking about your feelings or any bullshit like that. Just rough, dirty sex to get your minds off the shittiness of your lives.

No shame. Everyone who’s survived the pandemic thus far has found their own unique means of self-medication. For some, it’s drugs, or alcohol, or murder. For you and Joel, it’s fucking.

As for when the encounters would take place, it depends on the day or week. Today, after a particularly shitty week for the both of you, all it takes is a mutual look shared from across the room in the rations distribution center.

You’re near the front of the rations line when you spot him coming in toward the back. Joel surveys the crowded hall, the line of his brows furrowed into his signature harsh scowl. You meet the man’s gaze with glassy eyes of your own. In that moment you swear you notice his frown soften as he looks at you, although a tendon tightens on his temple. It’s a look that confirms he’s had just as god awful a week as you had, although there’s something more there today that you can’t quite put your finger on.

You look away and sigh, wincing a little at the pain from a bruised rib that’s only just started to heal. Your injury’s pretty mild, though, and nothing compared to the state you’d left the other guy in. Oh, well. At least you got a few extra ration cards out of it, which you now hand to the FEDRA officer in exchange for a box of supplies and provisions. Mostly non-perishable food, but there’s also some medicines, toiletries, socks, soap—thank fuck, more soap.

On your way out of the hall, you meet Joel’s gaze once more. Not a word is exchanged, but with an almost imperceptible nod of his chin, you know you’ll be hearing his knock at your door at 2300 sharp. God knows you need his specific methods of distraction right now.

– – –

Three raps of his knuckles against your apartment door at 2300 exactly, and Joel’s all over you.

It happens so fast. As soon as you open the door, Joel seizes you by the arms and spins your body with his, slamming your body to the door with his own momentum to close it shut. Your sore rib burns from the impact and you hiss, “Ouch, asshole.”

“Toughen up, princess,” he growls. There’s nothing endearing about the pet name, it’s not like that. In fact, he says it almost demeaningly, which is on par for your relationship with the smuggler. But there’s a primal sort of desperation in the tone of his voice, and your arousal at that prospect spreads over your whole body and finds a home right in between your legs.

Joel’s hands wrench your arms above your head and pin them there as his mouth attacks yours, effectively muffling the surprised squeal that emits from your throat. His mouth is hot, his grown-out stubble scratching the delicate skin of your face in a delicious contrast, his breath faintly spiced from whiskey. You melt into him, arching your body into his, and a surly grunt resonates from his throat. He gathers your wrists in one hand pinned to the door and brings his free hand down to the nape of your neck, not so gently pulling at the base of your hair. He pulls away from the kiss and regards your exposed neck, where you swear he can see your pulse thumping in your throat. You wish he would kiss you there, but he holds back.

“Still on the mend?” he asks, bringing his hand down to your ribcage and barely brushing against the bruise.

“Nothin’ I can’t handle.”

“Tell me if you want me to be gentler,” he says.

You almost scoff. The name “Joel Miller” and the word “gentle” don’t go together. Nothing about that man is gentle. And nothing about what you and he do together behind closed doors has ever been or will ever be gentle. Part of you wonders if Joel would rather go on home than fuck you gently.

Besides, you don’t want it to be gentle. Not one bit.

You slip one of your arms out from where he’s pinning them against the door. You grab his hand and slide it from your rib under your shirt to your breast, squeezing yourself with his palm. “I’m tougher than you think, Miller,” you purr.

It’s your way of giving him permission to do with you what he wants.

“Are you, now?” he drawls. He takes your initiative and runs with it, pinching your nipple between his calloused thumb and forefinger, just a little at first, and then much harder. You gasp, heat flooding your lower stomach. “You think you can handle me tonight, huh, darlin’?”

You reach for his crotch, feeling the erection you know he’s probably had all night, and smile at the strained breath he releases. “Should be asking you the same question, don’t you think?” you say.

It’s a thoroughly bratty response, not to mention completely loaded, and you and Joel both seem to know it. Joel calls the shots in these encounters, not you. Which is exactly how you both like it.

Joel hitches your leg up and situates his hips in between your legs. You can feel his dick pressed against your inner thigh now. He tangles his hands in your hair and kisses you fiercely again. The only time Joel ever kisses you is before he fucks you. Never after. You’re sure that somewhere, buried deep down inside you, you secretly wish Joel would kiss you after sex, too. But that simply isn’t what this arrangement is about.

You hang onto the moment as long as possible, lacing your fingers behind his neck and pulling him even closer. His once neatly slicked back hair now mussed from your fingers, and his skin smells like firewood and soap.

Outside, the female military voice recording announcing the strict enforcement of curfew echoes through the QZ, but you and Joel barely notice. You’re lost in him, the feel of his body, the touch of his rough hands, and allow yourself to fall into the mindless, primal motions of sex.

You and Joel have done this many times over the past few months. Sometimes, when all was quiet and going relatively well in the QZ, you didn’t feel the need to visit him quite as often. But your need to see each other only increasing in frequency when things seemed to get worse… and things surely have gotten a lot fucking worse lately. FEDRA cracking down on everyday civilian freedoms. Rising animosity between the factions of smugglers within the QZ, causing many of Tess’s deals for ammo and pills going south more often than not. Firefly attacks within the city walls with no regard for innocent lives. Oh, and not to mention the ever-present problem of the growing number of infected just outside the city…

All of which to say, you and Joel have been seeing a lot of each other as of late.

Clothes fall to the floor. Joel’s new shirt that must have come with his set of provisions today, your favorite holey sweater you can’t bear to toss, his pants, your pants, shoes and socks. The next thing you know, you’re flat on your bed beneath him.

In your past life, would you have been with someone like Joel if you knew of all the bad things he’s done? Would it have overpowered the intense attraction you felt toward him, causing you to be repulsed by him? Probably then.

But not now. You don’t care what he’s done in the name of survival. You both have committed your fair share of inhumanities. But this is just how your lives turned out. Neither you nor Joel had chosen the life of smugglers, but the perseverance to survive takes over one way or another.

But none of that matters right now. All that matters is the need to eliminate any space and barrier between your hot, needy body and his.

He’s a menacing sight with his intimidatingly large muscles, the result of nearly five decades worth of manual labor, and the numerous scars peppered over his skin from countless tussles. He looms above you like a thundercloud, like a predatory cat prowling for its meal. You think to yourself how lucky you are to be on his side as an ally in your nefarious affairs—and not just an ally, but a business partner of all things. Because someone like Joel Miller would be a scary as fuck to have as an enemy.

Joel hooks his thumbs under the hems of your underwear and wastes no time to yank them down and off your legs. He pries your legs apart as far as you’ll let him, nearly drooling at the sight of you completely naked for him. You almost feel self-conscious, but you know if you try to shy away or close your legs now, it would do absolutely no good. Joel’s a very single-minded man. When he puts his mind to something, there’s absolutely no stopping him.

It always takes you aback when Joel doesn’t immediately penetrate you, especially with that glint in his eyes like the one he has now. But he never rushes that part, not even when you really wish he would. Instead, as per usual, he dips down and buries his face in your pussy.

“Joel,” you whine out his name, your body lurching—away from him? Closer toward him? You can’t be sure. All you know is that his mouth on your pussy like this feels so intense that it would be impossible not to squirm. You wonder if he does this for himself or for you. “You really don’t have to,” you manage to get out.

The look of sheer wrath he gives you…it’s as if you’d just told him you’d given away all the contraband he’d smuggled to FEDRA. “You think I only do this for you?” he rasps.

“I don’t know," you squeak out with a nervous laugh. "I mean, I know you do it every time, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel obligated—”

“Obligated?” Joel barks a laugh. “Don’t be so naive. You think I would eat your pussy if I didn’t want to?”

Wetness pooled at your core. “Fuck, Joel.”

“I wanna make you squirm first,” he growls. “Wanna make you so needy and wet for me that you don’t think about anything else.” His breath fanned out over your pussy, and you shivered, your thighs squeezing together. He pries them apart again. “You say some bullshit like that again, I’ll tie your ankles to the goddamn bedposts so you can’t even think about closing your legs. You hear me?”

Your eyes widen and your stomach flutters. Does he not know how much the idea of that turns you on? “Yes,” you croak.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes sir,” you correct yourself.

“Good girl.”

He doesn’t need to tie your ankles to the bedposts when he’s got the leverage of his body weight to press your legs apart. His mouth is on you again in an instant and you gasp embarrassingly loudly, falling flat against the mattress.

He eats you out with the fervor and desperation of a parched man finding water, pressing his entire face into you as though he couldn’t possibly get close enough. Joel’s lips trap your clit in a tight suction, his tongue swirling in practiced circles in a way that makes your hairline break out in a sweat. You moan too loudly again, reaching for the nearest pillow to stifle the sound for the sake of your poor neighbors.

Just when he’s gotten into a groove, Joel releases the suction of his mouth with a pop and buries his whole face even lower, his tongue drawing a lavish line up your entrance before moving inside you, his nose pressed against your clit. He’s absolutely ravenous, and you have no semblance of control left in your body. Your legs jolt, and he presses them even further apart in response. The sparks at the pit of your stomach bloom and bloom.

“Fuck, baby, you taste so good,” he moans into you. You moan in response, tangling your hands in his silvering hair. Baby, that one is new. Baby’s almost too sweet coming from a man like Joel’s lips. A little red flag goes up in your mind but you quickly forget all about it as he continues to lap at you.

Joel breaks away only to wet his finger with his saliva and you watch in awe as he pushes it into you. You see stars as he curls his adept middle finger up toward your belly button. You dig your nails into his arms and keen his name again.

The waves of pleasure grow and grow, like a tsunami on the horizon approaching fast and sure, and your breathing grows erratic. Joel is relentless, tireless, his lips finding your clit again, and it’s as if he knows he’s found the sweet spot, knows the exact speed and intensity to stay at to push you over the edge. His eyes close as if in total bliss, seemingly motionless, and only you as the recipient of this unholy worship could ever know just how expertly fast his tongue is moving against your clit. The combination of that with his digit curling up into you over and over breaks you of any resolve you might have had left.

You should warn him you're going to come. You have before. But you know how well he knows you now. He knows you're right on the edge. So he presses his palm to the soft part of your stomach, just below your belly button, and that does it. He knows me so goddamn well.

You come completely undone, the waves of your orgasm furiously overtaking your whole body. You arch your back and clench your walls around Joel’s finger, unable to keep from writhing in pleasure, unable to hold back the choked moans from your throat.

“That’s right, ride it out, darlin’,” Joel praises you. “Love feeling you squeeze my finger so tight. Good girl.” He sits up and watches your body come down from the high, gently coaxing about what’s left of your convulsions with his finger. But even once they subside, he doesn’t pull it out, instead continuing to curling it into you again over and over. You weren’t expecting a break—Joel never needs one, never gives one unless you ask—but you wonder how on earth you’re going to survive this. With a desperate, pleading sound, you peer up at him in disbelief.

“It’s too much,” you whimper.

“Do you want me to stop?”

You shake your head furiously. Joel almost smiles at that, almost as though he knew your response already. He repositions himself so he’s propped up on his elbow beside your body, his other hand still at your slippery entrance. His finger slides in and out with each movement, the pad of his finger gliding against precisely the right place inside you. It’s a sensation only another person could satisfy in you, and you find yourself silently thanking your lucky stars that Joel knows how to do it so well. He knows your body so well after just a few months, knows exactly what you need is a break from the clitoral stimulation, yet added stimulation elsewhere.

Pressure builds in your pelvis, a different kind of pressure than before. Your jaw falls open when his tempo picks up. Joel presses his forehead to yours, sharing your breaths, before he moves to your ear and starts whispering.

“Takin’ my finger so well,” he breathes, and goosebumps erupt across your whole body. “Wanna see if you can handle another one?”

You nod breathlessly and he slides his ring finger in with the middle finger. A jolt of energy overtakes your body. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck. The last time he fingered you like this, you had completely soaked the mattress. You had luckily remembered to lay a couple of towels down under the sheets this time, just in case, but still. You’d been humiliated. You hadn’t said anything about it last time, but you knew what had happened, and you knew that he knew.

And now he’s going to make you squirt again. Which means that he likes it.

Joel sets into a relentless pace and the dreaded pressure grows and grows. “That’s my good little slut,” he growls. “Want you to let go for me, make my fingers wet.”

You can’t help it. The pressure in your core explodes. A slick wetness seeps all over Joel’s fingers and into the sheets around your hips. Joel moans into your neck. You feel yourself turning so hot you break a sweat.

“Oh god,” you moan, suddenly lightheaded, and you cover your face. You feel him wrench your hands away and he stares at you in astonishment.

“Are you…embarrassed?” he gapes.

“Yes,” you respond, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

His face shifts slightly from disbelief into an almost sinister expression. “Look at you. All humiliated at the mess I made you make for me.”

The fact that he takes pleasure in your humiliation turns you on more than you’re willing to admit. “Fuck you, Joel,” you bark back, but there’s no energy left in your voice for malice.

Joel grips your chin harshly, forcing you to look at him. “You don’t call the shots here. If I want you to make a fuckin’ mess for me, then you will.”

If he hadn’t been manhandling you before, he’s manhandling you now, pulling your limp body into the exact position he wants: on your stomach, your thighs pressed together, your ass pointed up at him perfectly.

You realize then that he’s been touching himself for quite some time through his boxers, only now he’s sliding them off his body, revealing his dick, weeping and swollen and angry red. If you had any ounce of energy left in your body, you’d flip yourself over so you were on top and wrap your mouth around it. But he’s faster than you can replenish your energy, and in one feverish motion, he’s mounting you from behind, his dick pressed against the base of your ass.

“Tell me how bad you want me to fuck you raw into these sheets.”

You know Joel, know what he’s doing. He’s playing up the moment, building the anticipation, but he’s also gauging your consent. He’s asking your permission.

“Please,” you mewl. “Please fuck me, sir. I want you so bad.”

“Good,” he responds. “Good girl.” And then he’s plowing his dick into you.

Holy fuck. The momentum of his first thrust pushes you several inches up the bed and you cry out, inviting the mix of pain and pleasure with eagerness. He’s so much fucking bigger than his fingers, even though his fingers are nothing short of girthy themselves.

He pulls out unbearably slow, almost all the way out, until just the ridge of his head remains inside you, before he grips your hips with a fervor and thrusts back into you with a grunt. And again, and again. A rush of emotions floods through you at the feeling…among them, a sense of security, a total trust in him, the reassurance at the knowledge that Joel would stop if you told him you wanted to.

God, you don’t want him to stop.

“Mine,” he growls, gathering your arms behind your back, and your muscles burn. “You hear me? Your pussy’s fucking mine, sweetheart.”

You have no coherent response, only his name.

Joel uses your bended arms locked behind you as leverage, gripping them with desperation as he rams into you over and over again, taking what’s his. His dick feels unreal inside you, slipping in and out like it’s made for you. The position of your arms plays tricks on your mind, makes you feel trapped in the best way possible, like there’s no escape from this. Which, of course, there is an escape—the simple phrase stop, something you and Joel had agreed upon weeks prior—and yet, the false sense of helplessness is exactly what you’re going for.

And what is it for Joel that gets him going about this, you wonder briefly? Is it the false sense of control, something he’s felt devoid of in real life for years now? Is it the fact that for just one night, everything that happens will have been something that Joel had direct influence over? Did he need that catharsis of complete control as much as you needed the catharsis of being out of control? You wonder if maybe you and Joel were made to find each other in these awful, bleak times, if maybe though you fight day in and day out about business, if you were made for each other in this way.

A strange sensation along the spine of your back. It’s Joel’s lips, soft and wet along with the scratch of his beard. Juxtaposed with the unforgiving force of his hips crashing into your ass, you melt into him. He's never done that while he fucks you before. Joel releases your arms and kisses your back again, seeming to soak in the feel of your skin on his lips. He moves up to your neck, still mounted on top of you, still sliding in and out of you with a vigor, but his mouth comes to rest by your ear.

“You feel so good, baby,” he whispers. “You’re so beautiful. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen.”

Oh, god. That was tender. You didn’t hate it, but talk about uncharacteristic for Joel Miller. Red flag goes up again. You squash it down, not wanting to kill the moment. You reach behind and comb your fingers through his hair. “Joel, oh my god, Joel.”

Maybe it’s as if he realized he’d breached some unspoken protocol with that lapse in his tough-guy persona, but Joel seems to snap to reality. With a new intensity, he pulls out of you to draw your hips up, propping you up on your knees and elbows. A much less tender, much more primal position. He kneels behind you and brings your hips back to meet his dick again, bottoming out in one motion.

You cry out and arch your back. This new angle is intense. Tender Joel Miller is gone, at least for now. He seals that notion with a hard slap of his palm on your ass.

He fucks you hard and fast and it’s precisely what you want. Waves of desire start to ebb and flow in your pelvis once again. You wince in surprise as you feel Joel bring his head down to bite your shoulder lightly. Nope, nothing tender about this.

“Oh my god, Joel, I’m— you’re gonna make me—”

“Make you what?” Joel demands. “Make you come again, pretty girl?”

You can’t make another sound; you feel so fucked out you could only nod as he brought you closer and closer. But Joel wanted more.

“You heard me, tell me how good I make you feel,” he growled and bit down on your shoulder harder this time. “Tell me you’re gonna come all over my dick.”

Telling Joel anything would be a little hard to do considering he’s fucking you so hard you could hardly breathe let alone speak, but Joel was now hell bent on hearing you. He slaps your ass again, even harder, and your knees nearly buckle. But you manage to locate your voice.

“You feel so good,” you sob out, falling forward onto your elbows while Joel keeps a tight grip on your hips. “I'm gonna come again.”

“You want that?” Joel says in almost a sneer from behind you. “You wanna come for me again, my dirty little slut?”

“Yes, sir,” you say, your voice hitching each time he rams into you, “please, please.”

“Love it when you beg like that for me. So desperate, it’s pitiful. Fuck,” he groans, seeming to somehow swell inside of you even more. Droplets of wetness roll down your thighs, your pleasure mixed with his precum. “You better not come until I say so.”

His request may or may not be plausible, given how fast approaching your orgasm was coming over you. You had no choice but to take him how he wanted you to and try to hold off your orgasm as long as you could. Joel keeps a firm grip on your sides as he snaps his hips, and the explicit slapping sounds of skin on skin fill your bedroom.

“Oh-oh-my-g-god,” you gasp out, moaning with each perfectly angled thrust, nearly in tears from how deep he is. You’re teetering right on the edge, dangerously close to the edge, but you realize then, so is he, if his heavy breathing and moaning is any indication.

“Come on, Joel, baby, cum deep in my pussy, make me yours…” The pet name had just slipped out of your mouth again. Reservations be fucked. If you wanted to be tender and intimate right now, so fucking be it.

Sure enough, Joel gasps and grunts with more bravado than you’d ever heard from him before, as if hearing you call him baby had made him come on command. You feel a flood of warmth gush inside you, filling you up as he stills and drops his head to your shoulder. The final bucking of his hips and the visceral, shuddering whimper that comes from his throat set you off as well. You can’t hold back the cry that comes from somewhere deep in your body. “I’m coming, Joel, I can’t help it—”

“It’s okay, sweetheart, come for me now. I got you. It’s okay.”

You come hard and keep coming for longer than you thought was possible. Explosions of pleasure wrack your body and were it not for Joel holding you up, you’d have collapsed into the mattress. You’re clenching so hard around Joel’s dick that you wonder if it might hurt him, but he doesn’t protest, just moans right along with you.

You’re still trembling from the aftershocks as Joel pulls you up so your back is pressed against his chest and you both take a moment to catch your breath. Joel cups your breasts and kneads them in his hands as he comes down from his high, and in your daze you were dimly aware that he’s peppering several soft kisses along your shoulder blades, humming against your skin.

Again with the intimacy. What is going on?

“Joel?”

“Mmm?”

“Are you...dying or something?”

“What?”

“Or, like, secretly infected or some shit you don’t wanna tell me?”

He huffs, peeling himself off of you. You ignore the feeling of his cum dribbling out of you and turn to look at him. He’s scowling now, to no one’s surprise.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he barks. Aggravated, yet again. Oh, well, it's not like you were going to get any aftercare from him anyway—not part of the arrangement.

But nor was all that other shit he'd done.

“You’re acting…weird,” you accuse, your heart still pounding from before.

“I’m not acting weird,” he snaps back, defensive.

“You’re not acting like yourself, is all I mean,” you respond, crossing your arms and legs.

He watches you, that same tendon in his temple tensing up. “I have no idea what the devil you’re talking about,” he mutters, looking away.

“You have no idea what—” you repeat, shaking your head before explaining, “Joel, that was different.”

“What was different?” he asks, his voice gruff.

“That! The whole…” you say uselessly, gesturing between you and him.

He just stares at you. If he’s catching your drift, he must just be playing dumb now. “I’m gonna go,” he grumbles, standing to slip back on his boxers. “Come find me again when you start makin’ sense and stop drabblin’ on about nonsense.”

“Wait, stop, stop. Stop it, Joel,” you say, gripping his arm. “Jesus, will you let me talk? Why are you trying to run away?”

He glares down at you, his jaw rigid. A few tense seconds pass. “Go ahead,” he says at last, in response to the first question. As for the second question, you figure he’s trying to work that one out himself.

Now that you have his attention, you’re stunned. What exactly was the issue you were trying to bring up? He was being too sweet to you?

As if you can feel your own defenses coming up around you, you look around for your sweater and underwear, not wanting to be the only one unclothed here. Joel watches you wordlessly as you pull on your clothes, and your resolve grows stronger.

“That felt different,” you repeat, looking into his eyes for some sign that he agrees with you. “Didn’t it?”

Joel says nothing. In the silent space, your words come spilling out.

“Like… I don’t know, I just feel like something changed tonight. You felt different this time.”

Joel frowns in confusion and looks down at his crotch.

“No, not like that.” You sigh and run a hand through your hair. “It’s the things you…did. And said. It just felt different to me.”

“Like what?” Joel said, still playing dumb. You sigh again in exasperation. Is he really going to make you bring up specific examples?

“I mean, like…the kisses. And…and why’d you call me beautiful?” you insist.

He glowers. “What, so I can’t call you beautiful?”

“No, I—I mean, you can, I just… You’ve never said anything like that to me before,” you respond. He truly hasn't. He's called you sexy, called your pussy pretty, things like that. But he's never leaned down to whisper in your ear that he thinks you're the most beautiful girl in the world while railing the fuck out of you.

"Well, I did now. But I wouldn’t have said anything if I knew you were gonna get all weird about it.”

Jesus, he could be so fucking immature for a man in his late 40s. “It just took me off guard, that’s all.”

“Well, if that’s all, I don’t understand what’s the big problem.”

Why isn’t he understanding? You can’t help it, you explode. “That isn’t what we agreed on, Joel,” you say, your voice more insistent.

“What isn’t?”

“The...kissing, and the calling each other pet names, and the exchanging niceties,” you say emphatically. “Shit like that. That’s not what this arrangement is supposed to be about.” You started this with Joel to avoid your feelings…

Not to catch them for each other.

Joel leans down closer to you, cynicism in his voice as he says, “And what is it that this arrangement’s supposed to be about, then?”

“Sex!” you shout, raising your arms in exasperation. “Just sex!”

Right?

Joel says nothing. He stands and silently puts on the rest of his clothes before giving you the hardest stare you’ve ever seen from him since you met him half a year ago.

“Maybe for you.”

Your mouth goes dry. But before you can think of a response, Joel slips his shoes on and mutters. “I’m gonna go. Don’t come after me tonight.” Without another word, he leaves your dingy apartment, leaving you alone with your jaw on the floor. And in that moment, you realize, you had Joel Miller all wrong.

———

a/n: …i’m kind of embarrassed to put this on the internet but hey at least no one i know follows me so!!! hopefully at least! hahahahah 😭

Thank you so much for reading! I’m dying to hear your thoughts about it! Please note that I write fanfiction for free; my only request for repayment is a genuine expression of your thoughts, opinions, likes/dislikes, and predictions about the story. Whether it’s simply a “Wow, I loved it!”, a keyboard smash, a series of convoluted thoughts in the tags, or even a full-out review, please know that any and all feedback is welcome!

For real though. Leaving feedback is just the common courtesy thing to do when you consume free, unpaid creative works online. Like I promise i do write for myself hehe but it really helps give me momentum to keep writing when i know that people genuinely liked my work!

For fanfic, blurb, or headcanon requests about TLOU, please send me asks!

Much love ❤︎ from Juniper

Taglist: y'all didn’t explicitly ask to be tagged but you did like my last post gauging interest in this fic so i went ahead and tagged y'all!

@amazonabxtch @katluverxd @bowie-frommars @tasmbestspdrman @ka-x-in @mouseymagines @fandom-queen67 @bfences @rosegoldarti @xlengueterax @lol-im-done @aanie-lg @toobsessedsstuff @theangstypioneer @leonkennedyslefthand @lizajane2 @typingcorgi @julietamidala @floralcyanide @bilualien @austinnpowerss

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #the last of us #the last of us hbo #tlou #tlou hbo #hbo tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #pedro pascal

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jotatetsuken · 3 years ago

Text

i don't wanna be okay without you

submission for: @h-shibas's "Lights, Camera, Action" Collab (also, here's wishing the organizer a happy birthday too <33)

type of writing: oneshot

trope: actor au, film au, love triangle (story’s inspired from many Hindi movies, especially Om Shanti Om minus the reincarnation part, iykyk)

warnings: living a hard life in the slums, familial isolation, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of domestic abuse, toxic marriage, mentions of miscarriage, adultery, angst from Erwin, comfort from Levi, Erwin being a sexist director, police arrest, suggestive (implied NSFW, so minors please DNI), please lmk if i miss any more cw . also this is kinda dark so i'm tagging it as dark content just in case

song: i don’t wanna be okay without you - charlie burg

beta reading: @beware-of-the-rogue @tsukisdarling

tagging: @akaashi-todorki @hyeque @wakatshi @wakasa-wifey @azrail-core @fuwushiguro @ry0m3n @tokyometronetwork @cirigiri @reinaphoria @scandescent @zorosbozo @megumischubbycheeks

(taglist form / library account, turn on notifications to be updated)

number of words: 4880

a/n: okay, so this took me A MONTH to do this, and I'm finally finally here. I know I touch on really sensitive topics here, but I've had this story in my head for weeks now, so i hope y'all understand. ALSO, I love Erwin Smith, okay? I've made him a villain for the sake of the plot, nothing else. Likes, comments and reblogs, especially reblogs are appreciated. also, fyi, i do not condone cheating in any way. Also, (Y/N) = Your name, (L/N) = Last Name, (E/C) = Eye Color

Levi was sprinting through the dimly lit halls, pursued by onlookers. When he used to dwell in The Underground, a covert term for the filthiest slums in Mitras, Wall Sheena's most populous city, he had stolen a loaf of bread from the bakery. “Thief, thief,” shouted the crowd behind him as he bolted for his life. He wasn't a coward, and he was a self-taught marksman and martial arts student, but he was in a hurry to assist his ailing mother, Kuchel. She could only eat one loaf of bread at a time. He tripped over a rock while running and was about to drop the loaf of bread when he screamed. As he yelled, his body jolted as he was startled awake by the ringing of his mobile alarm. He grumbled and turned off the alarm, taking deep breaths to bring himself back to reality.

He sat up and drew his legs closer to him, his elbows on his knees, his face on his open hands, and he groaned nonstop. He had been having recurring nightmares for a long time and had no idea how to stop them. With troubled eyes, he gazed to his left at a framed photo of his mother, who was currently in a coma, hoping that she would recover soon enough to witness his debut in his first cinematic venture. His phone abruptly rang at the right bedside table. He checked the caller ID and saw that it was Furlan, one of his best pals who was now working as an assistant director in the Eldian Film Industry, along with two other people on the conference call.

Levi answers the phone, his jaw clenching in irritation, only to hear his two other close friends, Isabel and Hange, shriek at the fact that Levi was half-naked. “Put on a freaking shirt, Levi bro,” Isabel grumbles, her left arm concealing her eyes while her right grips the phone. He gets out of bed, throws the phone on the bed, looks for a black full-sleeve shirt, puts it on, and returns to the call with a large grunt.

Isabel teases, “It took you long enough, Levi bro.” “Get to the point, Isabel,” Levi continued, grumbling. “Why did you all call me?” says the narrator. Hange rambled on, enthralled. “I hope you remember, Leviiiii, that you have to meet him today.” “Who is he?” Levi wondered, his eyes narrowing. “Erwin Smith, the head of the Survey Corps Productions,” Furlan interjected. “He was the one who cast your mo-” “Shhh!” Isabel says to Furlan, calming him down. “Levi bro doesn't need to be reminded of his mother's lineage.”

“All right, I'll go,” Levi said, sighing. “Now, everyone, hang up, right now. Don't forget to meet me there, four-eyes,” he said, addressing Hange.

They saluted him and said, “Aye, captain,” putting an end to the call. “Ugh, Do I really have to do this?” he grumbled, but then turned to gaze at his mother's photo and replied, “Only for you, ma.”

Levi chose to go by a mononym when he discovered he was descended from the Ackerman family, one of Tinseltown's most prominent families along with the Yeager and Arlert families because he carried animosity towards the clan for isolating his mother when he was born out of wedlock. He'd worked odd jobs, extra roles, and minor actor roles ever since to develop a sense of punctuality, cleanliness, orderliness, and a sense of understanding of the profession so he could help her find work. Until she was involved in an accident and went into a long-term coma, with doctors unsure when she would wake up. That’s when a tall, blonde-haired man with a certain nobility about himself introduced himself to Levi as Erwin Smith, the renowned director.

“Levi, I was good friends with your mother. Ever since her banishment, I've made it a point to find her work in some capacity.”

Rolling his eyes, Levi says, “Look, Mr. Smith, I understand that you’ve extended your helping hand to my mother in the past, but now you can wash your hands of her,” gesturing to Erwin’s hands, “because she’s in a coma, and there’s nothing you can do to help.”

Erwin adds, folding his arms, “I knew you’d say something like that. Hence, I did not only come here to see Kuchel but also to see you. I'm offering you a lead role in my film, 'Attack on Titan,' as your first major cinematic role. You can then invest your money towards her treatment. How do you feel about that?”

He then turned to face his dying mother, who was still on a ventilator and fighting for her life. He then phoned his manager, Hange Zöe, as well as his best friends, Furlan Church and Isabel Magnolia, who had already entered the film industry, working as assistant directors to Miche Zacharius. They eventually persuaded him to do the film after a long and drawn-out argument. Levi then shook Erwin's hand and agreed to the bargain.

Erwin saw Levi and Hange come into the office with a black polo neck shirt and blue jeans on the first day of the script reading of “Attack on Titan.” “Okay, let's finish this soon,” Levi grunted, to which Erwin replied, “sure, sure, come in. The actress has yet to arrive.”

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door a couple of times before Erwin answered, “Come in,” causing the door to open and you to enter. In addition to your black jeans, you were wearing a white shirt with lace at the top. Every time you showed up, it was as if the entire world came to a halt for Levi.

When Levi saw you for the first time in the film, “Shiganshina Came Crumbling Down,” his eyes lit up. Not only was he in awe of your beauty, but also of the way you carried yourself. When he played small parts in TV shows and movies such as “Escape to Trost,” “Life at the Garrison,” and so on, he gained more respect for you. In your initial encounters and later interactions, you appeared kind to him.

He shook his head in disbelief, “Mr. Smith, am I-” Erwin smiled, continuing, “I remember you said you liked (Y/N) (L/N), so what better way to get to know her than by working with her?”

Both of you shook hands with each other, you stated while smiling, “It will be a pleasure to work with you, Levi,” and he agreed, replying “Same here, Ms. (L/N).” As they sat, she laughed and said, “Please, call me (Y/N). It's okay.”

As she turned to Erwin, Levi noticed that she had a genuine bond with him, one based on love and respect. You honestly felt glad that you had Erwin by your side. He’d been there for your ups and downs and stayed with you by your side. He was your husband after all.

However, because Erwin wanted to keep the marriage a secret (one of the reasons being that the industry is not kind to married women working in films), only both of your friends were the ones that knew, which included Mikasa Ackerman, Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirstein, Connie Springer, and Sasha Braus. They were the ones who would keep an eye on you and warn you to be cautious around Erwin. Not because he didn't love you; he just had a different way of expressing it.

As you and Levi rehearsed the lines from the script, you both silently noticed that the flow was surprisingly smooth, as if they knew exactly what and how they were going to say the lines. Erwin was ecstatic about the interaction. The script readings went so well for a few days that you all decided to start shooting right away.

Months after the filming began, the level of difficulty gradually increased, especially for Levi. “I don't know how to channel these feelings into acting.”

“That's because you always have a straight face,” Furlan joked, and Isabel laughed along. Levi scowled at both of them, causing them to stand firm.

“Well, why don't you guys bond?” Hange suggested, laughing. “Start talking more, and maybe you guys will eventually help each other, and Leviii, maybe it will benefit you in some way,” they shrugged and grinned at him.

After some thought, Levi responded, “I don't see why that wouldn't be a good opportunity.” “So it's settled,” Erwin said as he clapped. “Levi, you and (Y/N) should get together and practice lines, stat.”

You went to Levi's house that day and began rehearsing the lines. While you two were taking a break, Levi nervously asked, “Would you like anything to drink? Tea, coffee, or something else?” You replied, “I'd like tea with milk, please.” Levi smiled at you, nodding in agreement and relieved that you liked tea as much as he did.

You enjoyed his way of making tea while you two were drinking. “Levi, this is some of the best tea I've ever had!” you exclaimed with twinkling eyes, “how did you learn to make it?”

Levi's eyes became sad as he looked down at the ground and said, “My mother used to teach me. She enjoyed drinking tea like this.”

You placed your hand on his and said, “Erwin informed me of the situation. I'm truly sorry. What is your mother's condition?”

Levi sighed, “She's doing okay, but I'm...,” his voice becoming softer as his shoulders sagged. “I'm terrified, (Y/N). What if she doesn't make it? Everything will be for naught.”

You took a deep breath and held his hand, “Levi, if it weren't for Erwin, I wouldn't be here today. As the world knows, the (L/N) family is well-known, but it wasn't always that way. They were in shambles and were unable to support themselves. When I was seven years old, my parents split, and I was raised by two families, one of whom, the (L/N) family, became famous. It was through them that I first met Erwin. Our conversation finally led to a strong friendship. However, both of my families liked to tell me what to do, how to eat, and how to look, and that bothered me a lot, it made me feel uncomfortable within my skin, but then Erwin promised them that he’d take care of me and I moved out of the house ever since.”

“The fact that I’m able to be the way I want to be where I am, was because I chose to do so,” you continued, putting your hand on Levi’s shoulder, smiling, “and so can you. I’m very sure that your mother loves you very much and wants nothing but the best for you. I know you’re doing this for her, and she must already be proud of you for going through this regardless.”

He turned to you with a sorrowful expression, his anxious breaths slowly calming down, smiling at you, “thank you, (Y/N). It meant a lot, and I’m sorry I had no idea you were going through a lot.”

Nodding, you smiled at him, and like gravity was trying to set you two up, you were about to stand up, but because your feet were sore, you stumbled and were about to fall off your chair, only for Levi to catch you. Both of you couldn’t explain what this pull you had towards each other but as you were going to give in to the moment, your faces approaching each other, you’re brought back to reality with a jolt as you receive a phone call from Erwin.

“Hi, Erwin,” you answer the call, and you hear from the other side, “babe, are you still at Levi’s house? Let me pick you up.” You nod, “yes, Erwin, I’m here. Thank you, please let me know whenever you’re here.”

You two adjust your clothing as if you were about to commit a travesty. “Can we not-” you start, but Levi interrupts you, “don’t worry, I won’t tell Erwin or anyone. Thank you, for everything.”

You nodded, thanking Levi, as you got a call from Erwin, where he informs you that he had reached. Levi waved goodbye to you as you got into the car with Erwin, who said, “I miss you, baby,” as he kissed you on the cheek, and you smiled while he drove you home.

Over the next few days, shooting continued as usual, but suddenly, one day, you felt uneasy, nauseated, even. So you said you would be back in five minutes. That five minutes turned into an hour. Erwin checked on you in the meantime, and another hour passed by.

Levi was then sent to your vanity car to call for you but as he approached you, he could hear you crying from outside. So, to avoid being caught, he stayed out of their line of vision, while peering through their window. “Babe, I can’t do this, I can’t hide whatever we have with us,” you vent to Erwin as Levi overhears with a confused expression.

“(Y/N),” Erwin said with a straight face, “you know that the fans of the Elysian Film Industry are not kind towards married women,” causing Levi to gasp silently in shock, but what was said next, caused him to go blank for a while, “let alone be married to me and be the mother of our child.”

In trying to comprehend what he had just heard, Levi realized he needed to get out of their sight before Erwin saw him. Thus, he hid behind the vanity car. His heart sank as he squatted on the ground, shocked to learn that his romantic interest was married and pregnant. It irked him more as he realized that you had to hide all of this due to prejudice against married women.

A moment later, he contemplated walking out of the film shooting, the reason being that it hit too close to home. He was reminded of why he hated this industry, to begin with, because his mother was isolated from him by it. Even so, he was determined not to leave you behind as he wiped the tears from his cheeks despite not having realized they were flowing. Instead, he will be by your side every step of the way.

Levi waited for Erwin to go before knocking on your door and calling out to you as he clenched his fist and clicked his tongue in annoyance. As Erwin left, he knocked, “Can I come in, (Y/N)?” You responded, “sure, please come in,” sniffling and wiping away your tears as you put on a phony grin.

When Levi enters, he kneels alongside you and takes your hand in both of his. He looks at you, concernedly. “(Y/N)? Is everything alright with you? Can I help you in any way?”

Even though you smiled, cupped his cheek, and said, “I'm fine, Levi. Thank you for taking such good care of me. I was just sick, that’s all,” he wasn't convinced by your response, but he was willing to overlook it all for the sake of your well-being.

Because you weren't feeling well during the next few days, production had to wind up early. Levi had noticed that your face had turned pale and you'd lost your usual pleasant smile one day at the shooting when you opted to leave early. Your shoulder had a bruise that he could see through. He sensed something had happened to you, and he was determined to find out what it was.

This time, Levi was the one who came home to see you, and when your butler opened the door, he was momentarily astonished, as if he had seen a ghost. Your face looked pale, your makeup was streaked with tears, there was a lot of material all over the place, and you were sobbing hysterically.

“(Y/N), are you okay? Please tell me what happened!” he exclaimed as he ran to you and took you in his arms. He looked at you with sad eyes, softly asking, “It’s okay, shhh,” quieting you, “I’m here. So, please, tell me what happened.”

That’s when you wrapped your arms around him, sobbing, “Levi, my baby, she’s gone. I had a miscarriage. Ever since then, Erwin’s been rude and distant with me, in private,” and showed her shoulders that had bruises, marks that most likely looked like from being hit. You continued, sniffling, “I even suspect that he's been cheating on me.”

This pissed Levi off but as he was about to suggest halting the production of the film, you said, sniffling, “Listen, Levi, we’re going ahead with the film. I don’t want this film’s reputation to be marred by this, it’ll cause a scandal and I don’t want that right now, so please, can we still do the film?”

He caressed your head and said, “okay, but I’ll be staying with you in the vanity car as a ruse for practicing lines. I want to protect you,” and that caused you to nod.

For the next few days, you hide your emotions and pain and channel it through acting out certain scenes. Erwin felt would make this your best performance, when in truth, you're terrified of his behavior if things go wrong.

However, the ambiance deteriorated. Erwin treated you rudely anytime you made a minor mistake, forcing you to shudder and be afraid of him. He insulted you in front of everyone by stating that he took you from nothing and made you the actress you are right now and that you needed to pull yourself together.

You were irritated especially since this was the first time he criticized you in public, but the completion of the project was critical to you. As you returned to the vanity car to rehearse lines, you found safety in Levi, who was wise beyond his years. He, a rookie, supplied more insight into his character than any seasoned actor you'd dealt with, and he incorporated that into their methods. It had gotten to the point where you only felt comfortable in the vanity car or other places where you hung out with Levi.

During one such vulnerable moment, in the vanity car, you were crying while he was hugging you. “Levi,” you sniffled, as you two were sitting in the car, “I don’t understand why he’s being rude to me, he’s not spoken a word of kindness to me these past few days, and I’m scared that he’ll leave me.”

Levi cups your cheeks with his hands and says, “If I were you, I’d walk out of the movie and the marriage, because you deserve much better, but I know that you’re a champion and you’ve handled him so far, I believe you can handle him till the end of the film. You should leave him, though,” smiling at you while wiping the tears off your face.

He examined your face for a moment, and looked at you in sheer awe. “(Y/N), do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

Suddenly, something sparked in his mind as he took something out of his bag to give you something. It was a snow globe that had the figures of two of them kissing while the snow was falling. As he keeps the snow globe to a side, in awe of him and everything that he’d been doing, you put your hands around his neck, draw your face closer to him and place a peck on his lips. Levi was expectedly dumbfounded by this action but closed his eyes anyway to not let go of the moment.

However, what was supposed to be a peck evolved into something else as your lips start to lock with each other, and you two end up kissing hard, as your fingers raked through his hair and he places his hand on the nape of your neck. A good amount of time passed by as you two were kissing only for realization to hit you hard as you forcefully released yourself from the kiss. “Levi, this, this can’t happen.” You stutter as Levi nods, and while both of you stayed silent, both of you realized that this was the best kiss that each other had in the longest time.

Despite that moment, everyone behaved professionally, not wanting to interrupt the shooting schedule, ensuring the film’s success. However, both of you were oblivious to the fact that ever since the accidental kiss you two shared, you're all he thought about, and he was all that you thought about.

You were the light in his life that was shrouded in darkness, and he was the escape that you needed from your harsh reality. As his Instagram account was established, and he uploaded the photographs that Furlan forced him to upload from the photoshoot, many people loved him, and many people judged each other for loving him and claiming him to be theirs, but one day, when the shooting ended, as you turned to him while you were walking away with Erwin, the languages that your eyes spoke said a thousand words to each other than flattery ever could. You two were truly in love with each other in a world full of facades, and you didn’t want to be okay without each other.

During your usual hangout at your vanity car, once you were done rehearsing the lines, you stared into each other’s eyes continuously, and with panting breaths, it hit you two that both of you realized that you liked each other and couldn’t stay away from each other. That’s when you gave in to your desires as you drew your faces closer to each other enveloping yourselves into a deep kiss as you move back to the bedroom that you’d made for quick naps.

As the clothes started to peel off each other’s bodies, the sheets were witness to a new love story blossoming as Levi kissed you in places that had the bruises, which caused you to wince, but he didn’t lose eye contact with you, because before you went back to shooting, he needed to express how deeply in love with you he was.

This didn’t end up being a one-time thing as every day, whenever you two finished practicing, you two would sleep with each other. You thus started a tryst with Levi unbeknownst to Erwin, who was clearly in awe of the way you two acted eventually in the scene, bringing the passion you two had for each other towards the film.

You didn’t just get closer to Levi physically. You two talked more often, connected on a deeper level than you with Erwin, and he introduced you to Furlan and Isabel, who accepted you wholeheartedly and were willing to defend you with all they had. Hange, while being friendly with you, warned the both of you, suggesting that you two be careful as Erwin would make life uneasy for you if he found out.

When Mikasa found out about the situation, she was concerned and doubtful about Levi’s intentions. However, once they met, she realized that he truly possessed the blood of an Ackerman. Stern and stubborn, yet kind-hearted deep down and accepted him wholeheartedly, willing to pitch in to help in however she could to ensure Kuchel’s recovery. During this time, Erwin and you had a big argument which led to you exclaiming that you were moving out of the apartment, and you then moved into Isabel’s apartment to ensure you and Levi continued to meet in secret to avoid any scandal.

Five months later, the production was wrapped up and the film was set to release. A day before the private screening, Erwin called you, “(Y/N), are you excited about the private screening? I’d like it for us to go together.”

You scowled and were dumbfounded by his audacity to still appear on good terms in public. “Listen, Erwin,” you retorted, sitting up on the couch while you were initially lying down, “no matter how much you cajole me to come back to you, it’s not going to work. You’d made me feel miserable about myself ever since I had the miscarriage. Do you think I depended on you to get out of my miserable past? No, I chose to go with you. We married each other, remember? Or no, your reputation is too important for you, more important than our marriage!”

Erwin laughed maniacally as fear gripped you with his tone changing to something that she’d never heard. “Oh, poor (Y/N),” Erwin smirked, “did you think I’ll let the baby come into the world while we were supposed to be the most successful couple? Hah!” He scoffed, “absolutely not! Isn’t that right, Petra baby?” Petra? Baby?

You thought to yourself for a moment as it clicked. “Wait, Erwin,” you inquired, “did you cause the-” Erwin laughed again, as he responded arrogantly, “yes! I was the one who caused the miscarriage. Remember when I asked my assistant, Petra, to serve you tea before I came to call for you?”

Your eyes widened in the realization that that day, Erwin slipped a pill in the tea, that caused you to feel uneasy and that’s how you eventually lost the baby. You started seeing red as you clench your fists in rage, but as your (E/C) orbs land on the picture of the two of you in the hall, an idea pops in your mind as you take a deep breath and tell Erwin with a cunning smile, “you know what? Let’s go! There’s no point in arguing, right?”

As you walk in your red halter neck gown with Erwin and Levi to the private screening, several pictures were taken by different paparazzi. As you posed with different supporting actors, and finally, when you posed with Erwin and with Levi, people could observe the difference in your interactions. All of you went inside the theater, and as all of you saw the final product, Levi and you secretly held hands as you two saw that every scene was picturized beautifully and for his debut, Levi created magic on screen.

After coming out of the screening, Erwin was interviewed by Connie who had opted to be one of the interviewers for the screening. “Hello, Connie,” Erwin greeted him with a smile, following which Connie grinned, replying, “Hello, Mr. Erwin, I hope you can spare a couple of seconds for an interview.” Erwin nodded, causing Connie to tell Sasha to roll the camera and Jean to make notes. “So, Mr. Erwin,” Connie asked, “how did you like your film?” Erwin beamed and continued, “I can’t be more proud of my casting choices. As always, (Y/N) has left her mark on screen as one of the most talented actresses, period, but it was Levi’s night tonight as he shone on screen. He is a force to be reckoned with.”

Connie smiled, continuing, “that’s wonderful. Speaking of (Y/N), we’ve heard from different sources, that you two are actually married in secret, and that she even bore your child, is that true?”

Erwin scowled on hearing this, but put up a fake smile, saying, “Even if it was true, the industry sadly makes fun of married women, saying that they don’t deserve to work, so you should be able to understand why we kept our marriage a secret?”

Not fazing from his stance, Connie then asked a hard-hitting question. “Ah, that makes sense. Is that why you caused her to have a miscarriage?”

Erwin widened his eyes in shock, how did people come to know? Nervously laughing, Erwin said, “oh, but that’s nonsense. Who told you that?”

That’s when he heard a voice from a distance who replied, “I did,” Levi approached Erwin and Connie and replied, “Erwin, I thank you for the opportunity that you gave me. Working with you gave me the confidence I didn’t know I needed. However, I dug deep into some articles, and I realized that it was you, who reported to the press that my mother was pregnant with me, causing her to be isolated from the family. I also know, that my once close friend, Petra Ral, who now works with you, is now dating you. So, when I came to Isabel's house, I noticed that you and (Y/N) talking over the phone. So, I found a way to record the conversation and once I recorded the conversation, I found enough arsenal needed to take you down. So I took the tape to Mikasa, who took it to Eren and Armin, who then took it to Connie, Jean, and Sasha and we devised a plan, together.”

That’s when Levi’s uncle, Kenny Ackerman, a senior superintendent in the Military Brigade of Mitras, cuffed Erwin’s hands with Sasha continuing to record the whole thing. “Erwin Smith,” Kenny ordered, “you are under arrest for…”

As Kenny was reading out the crimes Erwin was arrested for, Levi walked away from there and ran to you to hug you. Your hug then caught the attention of a section of paparazzi. “It’s all over now, baby. We can be together without any fear and I promise to support you in every way,” he tells you while you smile, seeing that justice was finally served.

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lovesung127 · 3 years ago

Text

14 days to fall in (out of) love-l.ty

this is part of "the leftovers collab" by @tenderfrailty. please also go and check out all the other works by all the other writers. this is a valentine's day themed fic. so happy vday y'all <3 and if you are single like me then let's celebrate by reading my fic (bahaha shameless self promo) and drowning our sorrows in chocolate!!! hope you enjoy :)

Taglist:@aedreamzy

Summary: You and Taeyong are best friends, have been since childhood. But with the amount of time spent together, you eventually develop feelings for him. This is your story of falling in love with Lee Taeyong and the consequences attached to it.

Paring: taeyong x fem!reader

(jeno, mark, jaehyun, jennie, yeri,seulgi,nayeon,johnny are other characters in this story )

Genre: best friends to almost lovers, tried to make this more realistic, one sided love except that can be debatable, fluff, angst, unhappy ending,

Warnings: grammar errors(haha grammarly can only do so much), mentions of underage drinking(y/n does not participate tho)(don't underage drink guys! be smart), alcohol, kissing, mentions of the word "kill' but no one dies, unhappy ending, uhh lots of dialogue (if that counts as a warning lol)I think that's it tell me if i missed any

Word Count: 7,540

Disclaimer: I am in no way claiming this is how these celebrities mentioned in my story behave in real life. This story is all fiction.

just a heads up when 🏶 that symbol occurs it will shift to taeyong's pov until the next break. it will make more sense when you read it

This my original work so please do not copy or repost. Reblogging is perfectly fine tho <3

T-MINUS 14 DAYS

There are two weeks left until Valentine’s Day. During this time, every store decorates its walls with pink, red, and white. They fill every shelf with heart-shaped candies and Dove chocolates. You can’t really say you hate this holiday. It’s just it never held any importance to you. No one ever confessed their undying love for you. Likewise, you never confessed your undying love for anyone else. Well…there was one person you wanted to confess your “undying” love to…but you knew it would never work out.

Introducing your crush since seventh grade, Lee Taeyong. He is also known as TY, Yongie (to you), and the school’s heartthrob to everyone else. You've known him since you were five, and have been friends with him since you were seven. That’s all you have been: friends. Well, it’s not like you cared from the ages of seven to twelve. You never understood the concept of crushes. I mean how could you fathom liking any of the smelly boys in your class. The idea of crushes never crossed your mind. That was until you were at sleepaway camp the summer before seventh grade. The other girls in your cabin started to gossip about who they liked.

“There is this one guy in my math class, and oh my god he’s just so perfect,” Abby, your cabinmate, swooned.

“Ooohhhh, there is this guy in my science class, who I sit behind who is so nice to me! We talked like three times last school year!!!” Jessie, your other cabinmate, fangirled.

“What about you Y/N? Do you like anyone?” Abby turned to you.

“Oh…Uhm…I don’t think so?” You replied.

“You have to be lying! There must be someone you like!” Jessie pushed.

You thought long and hard about it. There weren’t many guys you liked, let alone any that talked to you. You could count the number of guys you found tolerable on one hand: Taeyong, Mark, and Jaehyun. Jaehyun is more so Taeyong’s friend than yours. You had no reason to dislike Jaehyun, so you guys were on good terms.

“Is there any guy that you get like sad when someone else talks to him?” Abby asked.

You thought about that and realized that maybe there was one guy who fits that description. Before that thought could solidify, you wrote it off as “not wanting to share your best friend with anyone.”

“Nah, there really isn’t anyone,” You responded.

“Ah…okay then. Anyways, who wants smores,” Just like that the moment dissipated. But ever since that day, the concept of crushes clung to the back of your mind.

T-MINUS 13 DAYS

You realized that you had a crush on Taeyong on Valentine’s Day in seventh grade. Over the summer break, Taeyong grew taller and lost some of his baby fat. This immediately drew the attention of many girls in your grade. So that was when you first witnessed someone giving Taeyong a Valentine’s. To say that you didn’t care that someone gave Taeyong a heart-shaped box of chocolates, would be a complete lie. Except you didn’t know why it would hurt. You and Taeyong are just friends. Why should it matter who gives him chocolates? Why should it matter whose chocolates he accepted?

After the girl left, you walked up to Taeyong.

“Yongie! Who was that?” You asked as you unlocked your locker that happened to be right next to Taeyong’s.

“Oh, that was Jamie. She just wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day,” Taeyong replied while opening up the box of chocolates.

“Did she say anything else besides that?” You asked while unpacking your backpack.

“Yea… she said she likes me…” Taeyong trailed off while trying to pop one of the chocolates into his mouth. Your heart clenched uncomfortably when he said that.

“Well… do you like her back?” You asked while looking up into his eyes.

You now know why you cared so much about a girl giving Taeyong chocolates.

“Oh… uh no. I told her I didn’t like her back.”

You like Taeyong.

“Oh… that must have been awkward.” You slammed your locker shut.

“Ah, it’s fine. Do you want a chocolate?” Taeyong extended the heart-shaped box out to you.

“Won’t it be weird for me to eat those chocolates? They are meant for you,” You said with a slight twinge of jealousy.

“I can’t finish this entire box! Come on, just take one.” You reached out with one hand to grab one of the chocolates. You bit into the candy and it oozed out caramel and raspberry filling.

You guess you can’t be too jealous if you also get to eat Taeyong’s candies.

T-MINUS 12 DAYS

You made many new friends when you entered high school. You and Taeyong were still close but naturally, you drifted apart into your respective friend groups. You still constantly hung out with Taeyong, so you can’t say that you were unhappy. Unfortunately, your crush on Taeyong did not fade. During your hugs with Taeyong, you found yourself clinging onto him a little longer. The years passed by, and it reached a point where sharing a bed with Taeyong was considered weird. Your weekly sleepovers slowly dwindled into once-a-month sleepovers. Which made you quite sad, because it meant you spent less time with him. You never really told anyone of your crush on Taeyong, but your new friends managed to figure it out.

You were sitting at your lunch table when Taeyong approached you. Ever since you guys sat at separate tables, he rarely ever approached you.

“Y/N are we still meeting up after school today? You promised you would come with me to buy a new game console!” Taeyong asked as he slid in next to you. Your friends Yeri, Seulgi, and Nayeon stared at the scene unfolding.

“Yea, I’ll meet you at the front entrance,” You replied with your mouth full of your sandwich.

“Okay, see you then!” Taeyong ruffled your hair and went back to his table.

You continued to eat your sandwich but felt someone’s eyes on you. You looked up and were met with the intrigued expressions of your friends.

“You like him don’t you,” Nayeon blurted out.

“What?!” You nearly choked on your sandwich.

“You like Taeyong?” Although it was a question, Nayeon said it more like a statement.

“Is it that obvious?” You sighed.

“Well, the heart eyes kind of gave it away for me,” Seulgi laughed as she ate a forkful of her pasta.

“And the stiffness when he sat next to you gave it away for me,” Yeri chimed in.

“Yea, I like him. I liked him since seventh grade, but he sees me as solely a friend. So, it makes no difference,” You sighed.

“Stop, that’s so cute omg! This is like one of those classic best friends to lovers trope!” Yeri squealed.

“Yea, except I don’t think he likes me back.”

“Y/N, how do you know? Try confessing to him!” Nayeon suggested, ever the bold one.

“Yeah, I rather not. I don’t want to ruin a perfectly fine friendship.”

T-MINUS 11 DAYS

You were finally a sophomore! How exciting! Not. Nothing changed except you now have harder classes and more homework. Taeyong, on the other hand, changed a lot. His voice got deeper, he grew much taller, and he was now even more attractive than before. His skin got clearer, and he got slightly more muscular. With these changes, it’s obvious that his fan club is only going to grow. Now his locker is filled with so many Valentines that he can’t even close it and needs to store some in your locker. Luckily, you still get to eat his chocolates.

T-MINUS 10 DAYS

Taeyong's new attractiveness led to his increased popularity. This led to him getting invited to parties. You don’t know why he dragged you to the current party you were at. You felt like it was more out of obligation. You wore a red corduroy dress with a white turtleneck underneath and white sneakers. You picked this outfit to fit the Valentine's Day theme of the party. You also decided to dress up since this was your first party ever. This is Taeyong’s third party, and it’s clear in the way he maneuvers around the venue as if he knows where everything is.

“Come on, let’s go get something to drink,” Taeyong took a hold of your hand and dragged you towards the kitchen.

You couldn’t help but stare at your hand intertwined with Taeyong’s. You couldn't help but feel that your hands fit perfectly together. This is so cliche Y/N; oh my god.

“Here you go. Remember to never leave your drink unattended! You don’t know what bad guy may try to slip something in there. Try to keep your drink close and cover the top, so people can’t put anything in,” Taeyong advised as he handed you the cup.

You brought the cup to your lips and immediately scrunched your nose in disgust. “Taeyong…is this alcohol?”

“Hmm yeah,” Taeyong answered while gulping his drink.

“Isn’t that illegal? We are underage,” You said while holding the red solo cup far away from your body.

Taeyong grabbed the cup from your hand and set it on the counter, “Yes, Y/N it is illegal. But come on have some fun! Everyone around here drinks.”

“I am not succumbing to peer pressure thank you very much,” You scoffed.

Taeyong chuckled at your comment before taking his free hand to grab yours to guide you towards the fridge. Taeyong handed you an unopened water bottle from the packaging inside the fridge. “Here you go, pure water.”

You took the water from him and your fingers slightly brushed against one another. You felt your cheeks grow hot. You thanked him for the water and took a sip. The ice-cold water ran down your throat but did little to cool your body down.

Taeyong held onto your hand again and led you into the crowd with your drinks. You planned to spend the whole night glued to his side. Sadly, plans don’t work out for you because Taeyong let go of your hand and got lost in the crowd. You spotted Mark with his friend Jeno and decided to join them. Instead of spending your night with Taeyong, the one who dragged you to this party, you spent it at Mark and Jeno’s side. Not that you minded. Jeno and Mark were nice company. Although, slightly tipsy Mark was quite a handful to deal with.

T-MINUS 9 DAYS

You have no idea how Taeyong managed to drag you to yet another party, but here you are. This time you opted for pants and a shirt instead of a dress.

“Taeyong,” You eyed your intertwined hands, “you aren’t going to ditch me like last time right?”

“Hey, I didn’t ditch you!” Taeyong defended himself.

“Yeah sure,” You rolled your eyes, “just please don’t leave me again. Last time I spent the whole party making sure “Tipsy Mark” didn’t accidentally break anything.”

“Oof, okay fine I’ll stay with you,” Taeyong held onto your hand tighter and dragged you deeper into the party.

You don’t mind this. If going to parties means you get to stay by Taeyong's side while holding his hand, you might actually come to like parties. Taeyong remembered from the last time you were here that you don’t drink alcohol, so he handed you a bottle of water. You thanked him, and he led you over to his friend group. You only knew Jaehyun, who you greeted, and the rest of the faces were a blur to you.

“Where’s Mark?” You asked no one in particular.

“He didn’t come today, he has a chem test to study for,” Jaehyun responded.

“Oh,” You nodded. Well, that’s great. The only people you knew here are Taeyong and Jaehyun. You would have asked Yeri, Nayeon, and Seulgi to come with you, but they all had tests to study for.

You stuck to Taeyong’s side and tried to make conversation with his friends, but you soon realized that you don’t fit in. They were talking about future parties, who they were dating, who they like, how often they got wasted, etc. The only thing you could talk about with them was the difficulty of your classes. At least, Taeyong was next to you.

“LET’S PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE!” some voice screamed over the blaring music.

“Come on, Y/N let’s go play!” Taeyong eagerly dragged you over to the circle that was forming. You did not want to play. This whole spin the bottle and seven minutes of heaven thing seemed so dumb. You didn’t know any of the guys in the circle except Jaehyun and Taeyong, and you only wanted to kiss Taeyong. You were shocked that people actually played these types of games. You always thought it was just some made-up thing you would see in movies and TV shows, but here you were.

“Who wants to spin first?” some unnamed girl asked.

“I do!” Taeyong dropped your hand and lurched for the empty beer bottle on the floor.

You honestly did not want to be here. You were sitting between Taeyong and Jaehyun waiting for the bottle to stop spinning. Maybe the gods would be on your side and the bottle would land on you.

The gods were not on your side.

The bottle landed on Jennie Kim; she is another girl in your grade. Seeing how Taeyong immediately becames shy and let out a soft “yes”, you knew that Taeyong liked her. It made sense that Taeyong would like her: she’s pretty, popular, and as far as you know really nice. You honestly can’t even be mad. They both got up and went into the tiny closet amidst the hoots and hollers of the partygoers.

“You know, you should tell Taeyong you like him before it’s too late.”

You jumped at Jaehyun’s voice, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your crush on Taeyong. You aren’t very subtle,” Jaehyun whispered back not that it would matter since the party was so loud.

“I don’t like him, Jaehyun,” You deadpanned.

“Huh, oh well. I’m just telling you better do something fast,” Jaehyun shrugged before turning back to the circle.

At that moment, Taeyong and Jennie emerged and they both had huge smiles on their faces. You could see, even from where you were sitting, the pink glow on Taeyong’s cheeks and Jennie’s smudged lipstick. You felt your heart drop.

You take back what you said. You hate parties.

T-MINUS 8 DAYS

You saw it unfold right in front of you. You walked into school on a regular Tuesday morning, wanting to be anywhere but in this building. You saw Taeyong standing close to someone near your locker, but you couldn’t make out their face. Even in sophomore year, your locker was still near Taeyong’s. You walked closer and realized they were holding hands. Your eyes slowly panned up from the intertwined hands to stare into the eyes of Jennie Kim. Your eyes moved from her face over to Taeyong’s.

“They’re dating. I found out yesterday,” Nayeon said as she linked your arms together.

As Jennie's lips touched Taeyong's cheek, you felt the familiar feeling of your heart sinking to the soles of your feet. He didn’t even tell you first. You had to find out yourself. Your friend who isn’t even close to him knew before you did. You heaved a sigh and walked to your locker to unpack your stuff.

Not only did you lose your crush, but you felt like you also lost your best friend.

T-MINUS 7 DAYS

Taeyong and Jennie became the campus couple. Everyone knew they were together and everyone supported them. Taeyong's Instagram feed contained photos of him and Jennie and vice versa. They looked so happy and perfect together that you felt guilty for still liking Taeyong. He’s taken for crying out loud and you are still pining after him.

Since Taeyong has a girlfriend, the two of you spent less and less time together. You didn't notice right away since you were entering your junior year and with that came the influx of work. Occasionally, when you had free time, Taeyong would invite you to hang out with him. Sadly, the hang-out was always accompanied by Jennie. You don’t know why Taeyong asked you to hang out with him only for you to third wheel on his date with Jennie.

Taeyong must be incredibly cruel and blind to drag you on these dates. Everyone knew you liked him, heck, even Jennie knew. Yet he still brought you to what he calls “my best friend and girlfriend should bond to get along” dates. You wanted to decline his invites every time to save the inevitable third-wheeling, but you couldn’t say no to Taeyong.

“Y/N! Join us over here,” Taeyong called you over to where he was sitting on the picnic blanket with Jennie. This looked too much like a date. They were even matching outfits. You looked down at your plain hoodie and jeans and took a seat awkwardly at the edge of the blanket.

“I don’t want to intrude. This looks like such a cute date. You really don’t need to keep inviting me on these "hang-outs" with your girlfriend,” You told Taeyong.

“Yea, I agree.” “No, it’s fine. These are not dates; we do those at different times!” Jennie and Taeyong said at the same time.

Well, at least you know that Jennie doesn’t approve of you hanging around.

“Taeyong, really it’s fine. You don’t have to keep squeezing in time to hang out with me. We are friends and always will be even if we don’t hang out every week. You two have fun! I’m going to get going,” You wiped the dust off your butt and waved goodbye to the couple. Jennie looked glad that you finally left. You turned your head before you were able to catch the look of longing on Taeyong’s face.

After that, Taeyong stopped contacting you as frequently. This made you sad, but you decided it would be for the better. If you saw Taeyong and his girlfriend less, your heart could stop cracking. Maybe this distance from Taeyong would finally cause you to lose feelings.

It is a late Sunday night when your cellphone screen lit up with a call. Strange no one calls me. You don’t recognize the number, but something in your gut tells you to pick up the phone.

“Hey Y/N, it’s Jaehyun,” Jaehyun’s voice broke through the phone.

“Uh hey… why are you calling me?” You asked confused.

“It’s Taeyong. He drank too much and for some reason won’t go into Johnny’s car,” Jaehyun explained. Johnny’s name rang a bell. He was one of the seniors in Taeyong’s friend group.

“Oh…uh, what does that have to do with me? I can’t drive,” You twirled a strand of hair between your fingers.

“He keeps saying he wants to walk home. But he won’t walk home with me. I tried to get him into my car but he won’t budge either.”

“Okay…but once again what does this have to do with me?”

“Can you come over and walk him home?” Jaehyun asked exasperated.

“You want me to what? It is literally midnight. If I leave the house now my parents will kill me.”

“Can’t you just sneak out? Help your best friend out?”

“We’re not really best friends anymore,” You muttered under your breath.

“Huh? What did you say? Anyways I’ll text you the address, it’s not too far from your house. I know Taeyong lives a couple of blocks down from you.”

“How do you have my address?”

“Ah, stop asking questions and just get here.” Your phone pinged with a text notification from who you could only assume was Jaehyun.

“Jeong Jaehyun if I get mugged or attacked on my way there you will never hear the end of it.” You huffed as you checked out the address. Oh, it was only the next street over and two blocks away from where Taeyong lived.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah thanks so much Y/N,” Jaehyun replied before he hung up.

What is the best way to go about this? You have never snuck out before, so you had no idea what you were doing. The front door would be the quickest, but also easiest way to get caught. Exiting from your bedroom window is one way, except if you fell you would break your leg. You could always just walk out. If your parents asked where you were going just explain it to them. They knew that you and Taeyong are friends. They won’t mind you helping him, right?

You decided to go with the third plan and just walk right out. You get dressed and grabbed your phone. Surprisingly, your parents didn’t catch you. You have no idea how you did it, but you were out. Thankfully, it was springtime so it wasn’t too cold. You arrived at the location shortly after. You saw Jaehyun and Taeyong sitting on the curb.

“You’re lucky I made it here in one piece Jaehyun.” You said as you walked up to him.

“Y/N! Thank you!”

“How did you get my number?” You asked as Jaehyun transferred Taeyong over to you.

“Taeyong gave it to me,” Jaehyun answered.

“In his drunken state?” You questioned.

“Yea, he asked me to call you through my phone because you are ‘mad at him.’”

“I’m not mad at him though. Also, why is he even this drunk? Shouldn’t his girlfriend, Jennie be taking care of him? Why didn’t you call her?”

“You haven't heard?” Jaehyun raised his eyebrows at you.

“Haven't heard what?” You asked confusion lacing your tone.

“Jennie was seen kissing some other guy at school, and Taeyong caught them. She ended up dumping Taeyong.” Jaehyun explained. Great. Once again, you are left out of Taeyong’s important life updates. “Taeyong decided to come to this party to forget about the breakup, but then he saw Jennie with her new boyfriend. So he decided to drink his sadness away.”

“Oh,” You looked over at Taeyong and saw that he was sleeping on your shoulder. You yanked his arm around your shoulder tighter. "Dang, I knew that he liked her a lot.”

“Yea, but Y/N this is your chance!” Jaehyun urged.

“My what?”

“Your chance, you can show Taeyong how you are the person he should be with!”

You looked over at Taeyong again before lifting your eyes to meet Jaehyun’s “there’s no point. I’ve accepted that I will be nothing but his friend.”

Jaehyun wants to tell you to keep trying because you never know but holds back. He bid you goodnight and drove off. You tightened your hold on Taeyong and began walking to his house.

“Y/N?” Taeyong opened his eyes.

“Hmm? You better have a good reason for having me come at midnight to pick you up.” You teased. Taeyong nudged his head deeper into your shoulder. You tensed up and felt your heartbeat pick up speed.

“I missed you! I haven’t talked to you in so long! I missed hanging out with you! We haven’t had one of our sleepovers in so long!”

“Yea, I missed you too.”

“Are we going to your house for a sleepover? We can watch your favorite movie and eat popcorn!” Taeyong looked at you with hope brimming in his eyes.

“Yongie, you are drunk. We are not meeting up for a sleepover. I’m here to take your drunk butt home.” You picked up the pace with your walking.

“You haven’t called me Yongie in so long,” Taeyong said his eyes in a daze. The way Taeyong kept looking at you made it hard for you to focus on holding him.

“Sorry, I guess.” You saw Taeyong’s house not too far from where you were standing. “We are almost at your house Taeyong. Do you have your keys on you?”

Taeyong fished out his keys from his pockets and placed them in your hands. Your fingers touched when he did that and your cheeks grew red. Taeyong took one of your free hands and intertwined them with his.

You held tightly onto his hand the rest of the way there. “Okay, Taeyong we are here! Do you need to sneak in or is dropping you off at your front door enough?”

“You are so pretty.”

“Taeyong do you need me to—wait... what?” You couldn’t have heard him right. Did he call you-

“Pretty. You are so pretty. Did you style your hair differently?” Taeyong ran his fingers through a couple of strands of your hair.

“I-I-I didn’t do a-anything to my hair,” You stuttered as you removed your hold from Taeyong’s waist and removed his arm from your shoulders. “Okay you are home now, please go in-”

Taeyong grabbed you by the waist and pushed you flush against his chest. Now you are certain your heart is going to leap out of your chest. Taeyong’s eyes drifted from yours to your lips. He started to lean in and before you could comprehend what was happening, Taeyong’s lips touched yours.

You physically stopped breathing for a moment. Is Taeyong kissing me? Taeyong is kissing me?

Taeyong is kissing me. Your body went into overdrive, and you kissed him back. You don’t know how long you’ve been kissing him. It must have been long enough for your fingers to slip in his hair and for his hold on your waist to tighten. You pull apart first. You might scream for joy. “O-Okay, Yongie you need to go inside now.” Taeyong nodded his head and gave you one more peck on your lips and entered his house. You stayed standing outside of his house for a couple more minutes. Taeyong just kissed you. You kissed Taeyong. You just had your first kiss, and it was with Taeyong. On the way back to your house, you couldn't stop smiling.

You fell asleep replaying that moment in your mind.

T-MINUS 6 DAYS

It is the next day, and you woke up with a big smile on your face. You remembered Jaehyun’s words from last night: Y/N this is your chance. Maybe it is your chance. Taeyong even kissed you! That has to mean something right?

You walked into school side by side with Yeri, “Oh my gosh, something really exciting happened last night, and I need to tell you!”

“Yo, what happened?” Yeri asked with excitement in her eyes.

You saw Taeyong standing by your locker and called out his name. You turned to Yeri, “I’ll tell you later.”

“Y/N! Hey! Jaehyun told me you dropped me off last night thank you so much!” Taeyong said.

“Oh yeah, I mean it wasn’t a big deal. Other than the fact that I had to leave my house at midnight and walk alone to pick you up.” You sarcastically said.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Taeyong rubbed the nape of his neck.

“It’s fine!” You smiled at him. Your mind kept replaying the kiss from last night.

“I wasn’t too much last night, right? I wasn’t a burden or anything right?”

“You don’t remember anything from last night?”

“Ah no, all I remember was seeing Jennie with her new boyfriend. Everything else is blurry,” Taeyong explained.

“Oh,” You felt your heart drop.

“Oh? That can’t be good. Did I do something stupid?” Taeyong asked worriedly.

“No… Uhm you didn’t do anything stupid,” You felt tears prick the corner of your eyes, but you forced them away. You looked up into Taeyong’s eyes. “Do you really not remember anything from last night? What about when I dropped you off at your house?”

“Ah, not at all. My head hurts so much, and I quite honestly can not even remember how I got to my house without Jaehyun telling me.” Taeyong replied.

You couldn’t believe it. He didn’t remember. He has zero recollection of that kiss. The kiss that meant so much to you was so insignificant to him, and he doesn’t even have a clue that it happened.

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Taeyong looked back at your watery eyes.

“It’s- how could- you know what? It’s fine. Forget about it. I hope your head feels better.” You whipped your head around and stalked off.

You pushed open the bathroom doors and stared into the mirror. You felt so dumb. How could you have thought that after that kiss everything would work out for you? People drunk kiss all the time. It probably meant nothing to Taeyong. You blinked back your tears. You decided that Jaehyun was wrong. It is not your chance and it never will be. On this Monday morning, you conclude that you hate Lee Taeyong.

T-MINUS 5 DAYS🏶

Taeyong hasn’t talked to you in a while. He kept trying to reach out, but his invites were always met with a “busy” or “I’ll see if I can come” (you never do come). Taeyong isn’t too sure if you are purposely avoiding him or if you really are just that busy. After all, you are both Juniors and you are taking 3 AP and 2 honors classes. He also can’t help but feel that something is wrong. You don’t seem as open to him as you used to be. He can’t figure out if it was his fault or something else.

He just left the bathroom and was walking back to class when he saw you standing by your locker. He was about to approach you when he saw that you weren’t alone. He saw one of Mark’s friends, who he thinks is Jeno, standing next to you. He knows it’s wrong to eavesdrop but he wanted to know what’s going on with you. You don’t have enough time for him, but you seem to have enough time to talk to Jeno. You should be in class right now not talking to some random person. (He knows this because you both showed each other your schedules.)

“Hey Y/N,” Jeno greeted you with his signature eye smile. Taeyong looked on from afar.

“Hey, Jeno, what’s up?” You smiled back at him.

“Uhm, I was wondering are you free this Saturday?” Jeno asked while nervously looking around.

“Hmm, yea. Why?” Wait, you told Taeyong that you were busy this Saturday.

“I was wondering if…Uhm… you would like to…Uhm… go out and get ice cream? I know we aren’t that close, but I was wondering if… Uhm we… could get closer?” Jeno asked.

“Wait is Mark going to be joining?”

“Oh…Uhm…er… no. It would...uhm…just be us two.”

“Oh… Yea. I would love to go!” You responded with a smile. “When should we meet up?”

“That’s great! Here let me give you my number,” Jeno handed you his phone.

Taeyong couldn’t believe it. You really are ignoring him. Why would you though? Did he offend you somehow?

Taeyong can’t help but feel a bit upset. He has no reason to though. You are both just friends. Why should it matter if some other guy asked you out on a date? It shouldn’t matter.

Right?

T-MINUS 4 DAYS

Your date with Jeno went surprisingly well, but you guys decided to remain friends. Plus, you may or may not have let it slip that you like someone (Taeyong). Then proceeded to rant all your problems over ice cream to Jeno. You still haven’t talked to Taeyong. Taeyong has tried multiple times to talk to you. Each time you either blatantly ignored him or lied and said you had other plans. You don’t think your heart and mind could handle being around Taeyong. Especially, since he doesn’t even remember the kiss you shared. Maybe you are overreacting, but that was your first kiss ever. It was a kiss shared with the one guy you have been crushing on since middle school. To think that it meant nothing to him kind of hurts.

You were on your way out of the building for lunch when the one person you have dreaded seeing for the past two weeks called your name.

“Y/N! Wait up!”

You didn’t even turn your head; you just tried to walk faster because you were not in the mood to talk to Taeyong.

“Y/N,” Taeyong called as he caught up with you. “How have you been? We haven’t talked in so long!”

That’s the whole point, idiot. You didn’t turn your head and continued walking.

“So uh…are you free this Saturday? Johnny is hosting a party, and I was thinking we could go together.”

“I don’t want to go to a party Taeyong.”

“Oh…uh… maybe we can do something else! They opened up this bubble tea shop downtown.”

“I have plans.”

“Do you really have plans or are you just trying to avoid me?”

You whipped your head around to look at Taeyong, “I’m busy.”

“Doesn’t seem like it? You told me you were busy last Saturday when I asked you to hang out.”

“Well, because I was.”

“Then how come I saw you accepting to go on a date with Jeno?”

“I-”

“Y/N, why are you ignoring me? Did I do something to offend you? Recently, you seem to want nothing to do with me.”

“That’s because I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“What? Huh? Why?”

“You really don’t remember, do you? Not even a little bit?”

“What? Y/N-what are you talking about? Remember what?”

You sighed, “just as I thought.”

“What is going on Y/N? Did something happen?”

“It’s nothing, forget it,” You tried to push past Taeyong, but he grabbed your shoulders.

“Can you please just tell me?” Taeyong looked down into your eyes. You wanted to tell him, but what if it just made everything worse? You don’t want to lose your best friend.

“I-” You looked away, “if I tell you…I’m scared it will make everything worse.”

“Huh? We are best friends. You can tell me everything and anything.”

“That’s the problem. We are just friends.”

With that, you slipped out of Taeyong’s hold and walked out the door. Taeyong felt like his heart was breaking, but he had no idea why. Seeing you walk out like that hurt more than when Jennie cheated and broke up with him. He was not just going to let you walk out like that.

“Y/N! Come back,” He ran out the entrance to try and find you. Thankfully, you haven’t walked too far. “Y/N!”

“What is it Taeyong?”

“Please just tell me what I did. I can’t stand you not talking to me. I miss hanging out with you, and these past few weeks have been so boring. Even, these past few months! I know we haven’t been as close since I started dating Jennie and then when we broke up. But please, just tell me what’s wrong! I miss my best friend. I miss you, Y/N,” Taeyong grabbed your hands.

Best friend. Of course. “Am I just really just your best friend?”

“Wait-what? What else would you be?” Taeyong’s eyes reflected worry.

“I can’t be anything more?” You pressed. This is probably the closest you will ever get to confessing.

“Anything more? Y/N-don’t tell me you li-” Taeyong’s grip on your hands tightened.

“Forget I said anything Taeyong,” You scoffed.

“What really happened the day you dropped me off at my house? I know this has something to do with it. Did I say anything out of the ordinary to you?”

“Taeyong, it’s fine. I’ll go with you to Johnny’s party. Please just drop it.” You tried to remove your hands from Taeyong’s, but he only held onto you tighter. It was almost as if he was scared you were going to disappear.

“No. Y/N tell me. Did I say something mean? Did I do something embarrassing? Did I get you in trouble? Did I kiss you or something?”

Kiss. “What do you think happened Taeyong?” You just wanted to go eat your lunch.

“Did I say that I like you or something?” Taeyong blurted out.

“What? You…like me?” You questioned hope growing in your tone.

“I-I-I d-don’t know,” Taeyong looked down.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” You felt your voice break.

“I…all I know was that I was jealous seeing Jeno asking you out on a date. I know that it was not the jealously that friends should feel.”

“What do you want me to say to that?” You were almost running out of patience.

“I’m not sure.”

You could not take this anymore. One minute Taeyong treats you like a boyfriend would, the next he places you in the best friend box. Standing in front of your school, you conclude that you still hate Taeyong.

T-MINUS 3 DAYS

It is currently senior year, the last year before you are off to college. It also happened to be a day before Valentine’s Day. A holiday you never really cared about. All Valentine’s Day meant to you was getting to eat the candy that Taeyong received from his admirers.

You scanned the pink, red, and white decorations lining the walls of your local grocery store. You walked over to the candy section and saw the pink holographic packaging that was so familiar to you. It is the exact heart-shaped box of chocolates Taeyong got all those years ago in seventh grade. You picked up the box.

“Huh, it seems much smaller than I imagined,” You placed the box into your basket.

Over the past year, you and Taeyong worked out whatever problems you were facing. You never told him about the kiss because you never worked up the courage. Plus, deep down you knew it would make no difference. Instead, you and Taeyong went back to your original dynamic. The only difference was that now Taeyong acted a bit more like your boyfriend. He held your hand often, gave you regular hugs and back hugs. Your movie nights and cuddling sessions increased. You never kissed again. Taeyong continued to send you mixed signals. You would walk into school holding hands, and he would leave with his arms around another girl. Fear consumed you too much to try and push past this barrier Taeyong put up. What if you pushed too far and lost a potential relationship and important friendship? You were content with how things were. Taeyong was yours only for the short 5-minute interactions throughout the day. He was yours to hold in those brief minutes, but those minutes were enough. You will just follow Taeyong’s pace. Maybe if you do, he will fall for you the same way you fell for him.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day; you sit at your desk prepping your gifts for your friends. A box of candy hearts for Yeri. A box of candy hearts for Nayeon. A box of candy hearts for Seulgi. M&Ms for Jaehyun. M&Ms for Mark. M&Ms for Jeno. A heart-shaped chocolate box for Taeyong.

“It’s now or never Y/N.”

T-MINUS 2 DAYS

“Yeri! I got this for you,” You handed Yeri her gift. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

“Omg! Thanks! Dang, that’s a big bag. Did you buy something for everyone?” Yeri pointed to the bag in your hands.

“No problem! And no. I only bought stuff for my friends. The bag is so big because I have no other bags.” You laughed as you waved Yeri goodbye.

“Nayeon, Seulgi! Happy Valentine’s Day!” You handed them their gifts.

“Aw, thanks!” Nayeon side hugged you.

“Thanks, babe you're the best!” Seulgi hugged you too.

“No problem guys, I’m going to hand the remaining gifts out. See you guys at lunch.”

On your way to Taeyong’s locker, you ran into Jaehyun and Mark. “Guys, happy Valentine’s Day!”

Jaehyun received the candy with a raised eyebrow, “shouldn’t you be giving this to Taeyong? You know the guy you like?”

“You like Taeyong?!” Mark asked shocked as you placed the gift in his hand.

“Yea,” you sighed. “And I did prepare a gift for him.”

“I’m rooting for you Y/N!” Jaehyun cheered.

“Me too!” Mark smiled “Even though I just found out today.”

You maneuvered your way through the school’s hallway.

You finally stood in front of Taeyong’s locker. He had no lock on. He did this every Valentine’s Day. One could say he’s cocky for this, others could say that he’s thoughtful. You let out a laugh as you opened his locker.

“Dang, he is still just as popular as he was before.” There are already tons of gifts stacked up in his locker. After a quick survey of the gifts, you realized yours is the only one with a separate note attached to it. “Well, at least I’ll stand out.” You shut his locker door and made your way to your next class.

Ding Dong Ding Dong the bell rang.

“Y/N, are you joining us at lunch?” Yeri asked.

“Yea, I just left my lunch in my locker. Plus, I still need to give Jeno his gift.”

“Oh, Jeno told me he’s sitting with us at lunch today. I think he and Mark are coming!”

“Oh that’s great, just let me get my lunch!”

“Got it, I’ll see you there.” Yeri turned in the direction of the cafeteria while you left to go to your locker.

From afar you saw a figure standing near your locker. You soon realized that it was Taeyong. You were about to approach him when you saw that he was inspecting his Valentine’s gifts.

🏶

Wow, I got a lot of gifts. Taeyong started to sort through the various things he received.

“Is that a cake?” Wow, that is new. A certain pink holographic packaging caught his eyes.

“That’s odd didn’t Jamie transfer schools? Is this another random confession?” He picked up the box and saw that there was a note attached to it.

People never leave me notes.

thought I should make up for all the times I've eaten your chocolates throughout the years. I’m glad one of us is popular bc at least we get free candy out of it lol. also happy vday's. ig you can figure out from the box what I'm trying to say?

Y/N? Did she send me this? Is she trying to confess-

Oh. He picked up my box. From your vantage point, you could not read Taeyong’s expression. You started to walk closer.

“Yongie I-” You called as you walked closer to him. But before you could catch his attention, you saw someone else walk up to him. You are not familiar with the girl who is standing in front of Taeyong right now. She slipped her hands into his and leaned in to kiss him.

She just kissed Taeyong. She kissed Taeyong, and he did not push her away.

Taeyong happened to be facing you, and you could see the way his eyes lit up.

His eyes never lit up like that when he looked at you. At that moment, it hit you that you were too late. You have always been too late.

“Oh Y/N!” Taeyong called your name.

You snapped out of your daze and walked over to the couple.

“Hey! This is my girlfriend, Rina. We started dating yesterday. Rina this is Y/N, my best friend.” Rina waves at you and you wave back.

“It’s nice to meet you,” You smiled at her. She was taller than you, but a couple of inches shorter than Taeyong. She had long black hair with blonde tips and bangs. She had a heart-shaped face and a pretty figure. She seemed to fit Taeyong’s type perfectly.

“I also received your chocolates! Thank you but erm sadly I can’t-”

“Taeyong, it’s fine. I’m so happy for you guys! Happy Valentine’s Day!” You flashed a smile.

“Y/N wait-” Your name still sounds so pretty coming from his lips even after all the times he hurt you.

You turned around and made your way to the cafeteria.

Ugh, I forgot my lunch in my locker.

T- MINUS 1 DAY

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day. Your desk is littered with the wrappers of the candy your friends gave you. Your phone lit up and the time read 7:00 PM. Your nap lasted longer than you expected. You threw on a sweatshirt and decided to go for a drive.

You ended up pulling into your town’s grocery store. As you grabbed a cart, you noticed that all the decorations have been taken down. The walls are no longer filled with pinks, reds, and whites. All the candy hearts, chocolates, and teddy bears have been removed from the shelves. Just like that, the holiday is over.

People sure move on fast.

Just like that, a year's worth of memories including hand holding, fake dates, and movie nights that turn into cuddling sessions thrown away. All flushed down the drain. Taeyong has a girlfriend and once again you are alone.

T-MINUS 0 DAYS

You realized that you can’t make Taeyong fall in love with you, but Taeyong can make you fall out of love with him.

FIN

A/N: hey y'all it's annie! i was planning for "see you around" to be my first full fic but I ended up finishing this one sooner. so i guess this fic counts as my first full fic! if you read this far oh my gosh thank you so much. leave any feedback you want and i hope you enjoyed reading this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it! see you guys in my next fic! stay safe and healthy<3 and happy vday💕💕💕

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wolfsbanesparks · 2 years ago

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I posted 9,916 times in 2022

74 posts created (1%)

9,842 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bladeangelx

@andthentheywilleatthestars

@batshit-birds

@zorilleerrant

@penny-anna

I tagged 224 of my posts in 2022

#billy batson - 48 posts

#shazam - 43 posts

#dc captain marvel - 39 posts

#ask me whatever you want y'all - 37 posts

#my writing - 35 posts

#fanfic asks - 24 posts

#dc comics - 23 posts

#bb82week - 8 posts

#billybatsonweek - 8 posts

#batman - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#if one of billy’s villians depowered him they come back to finish him off and billy has to get out of trouble as billy or expose his secret

My Top Posts in 2022:

There had been many Champions before Billy Batson and each have left their mark on the being now known as Marvel. Each had something to give, something to share, their lives as complex and beautiful and tragic as any others.

Who are we if not a reflection of all we used to be?

Hey y'all! If you've read my story Split you know I have a lot of thoughts about Marvel and the Champions and how they worked, so this is a little taste of what is bouncing around my head for them.

This is the third of seven stories I've written for Billy Batson week 2022! Today's prompt was THE BOY AND THE MAN + “HENSHIN HERO”

I wanted to explore not just the duality of Billy and Marvel, but of Marvel and all his other hosts as well! Enjoy!

82 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

Summary:

In which Billy comes out to his teammates as transgender, attends his first Pride parade and ultimately decides it was worth the hassle

Hey y'all! Happy Pride month! Even though June is almost over, I wanted to write something for Pride. So this is a little cheesy, self indulgent one-shot of Billy getting some love and support from his teammates!

I'm also posting this for the following themes for the Pridewrite Challenge 2022: Parade (#pw8), Complicated (#pw25), Superheroes (#pw alt 28) Transmasc (#pw29)

I was going to do more stories for this challenge but June turned out to be a busy month and my fics always end up longer than I expect them to. But I'm happy to at least get something out for y'all!

This was partially inspired by all the wonderful trans Billy content I've been seeing on Tumblr recently, so thank you all for the lovely content!

I have so many queer Justice League headcannons if you want to hear them. And I'd love to hear your queer headcannons if you have them!

83 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

WAIT! there's a shazam lego movie!? what it about?

Yeah there is!

It's called Lego DC Shazam!: Magic and Monsters (2020). It was one of those direct to video releases so not a lot of people heard about it when it first came out.

It's about Shazam joining the Justice League and fighting the Monster Society of Evil! The whole League gets deaged and Shazam has to be the 'grown up'. It's really cute and wholesome with a lot of fun Easter eggs for DC fans that know the comics! And like all the DC Lego movies it pokes fun at the silly and weird things in comics. I definitely recommend it to Shazam fans!

92 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

Those short sentences of your preview got me hooked, can you tell us more of your new billy fic please?

Sure thing!

So that little preview was from an idea I've had for a while but put on the back burner while I finished a few other stories. It's a lot darker than most of my stuff. I'm calling it Pretty Little Thing.

The premise is that homeless kids are going missing around Fawcett, but no one is investigating. Billy realizes the police aren't going to help find his missing friends so he investigates on his own, and ends up putting himself in the crosshairs of the serial killer who has been abducting kids that no one is going to miss.

When the killer kidnaps him, Captain Marvel vanishes and the Justice League have to try to figure out what happened to their teammate while trying to keep the public (especially the people of Fawcett) from panicking over his disappearance. But because they don't know about Billy they hit major roadblocks in their search. They have to come to terms with the fact that they don't really know him at all. They don't know it but they are racing against the clock to save Billy from a killer that only a handful of homeless people in Fawcett even know exist.

I really wanted to explore the discrepancy between Captain Marvel and Billy, especially a homeless Billy who doesn't have anyone looking out for him. It would also deal heavily with Billy’s history of abuse and abandonment as well as his struggles as a homeless kid.

Like I said it'd be pretty heavy but it would be interesting to write. It's been ruminating in the back of my mind for months so I'm sure I'll write it at some point.

97 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Billy had heard stories about the old house on Willow Creek Lane, mostly from kids at school. They said the place was haunted. That people had died there. That no one survived a night inside. Kids would dare each other to go inside, but everyone would chicken out before they did. All pretty standard stuff.

Investigating it was supposed to be simple, easy. But he quickly realized he might need some help from an expert.

Hey y'all! This is the second of seven stories I've written for Billy Batson week 2022! Today's prompt was ICONIC TEAM-UPS + DREAM TEAMS!

I've wanted to write a Billy and Constantine team up ever since I started writing fanfic, so I was so excited for this one! The fandom knows these two would be iconic together even if DC hasn't gotten the memo yet.

108 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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o0fyuu0o · 2 years ago

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I posted 6,683 times in 2022

160 posts created (2%)

6,523 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@englandsgirl18181234

@o0fyuu0o

@necruwumancy

@kyurilin

@liveandletrain

I tagged 606 of my posts in 2022

#fyuu babbles - 105 posts

#fyuu doodles - 41 posts

#present mic - 28 posts

#erasermic - 28 posts

#aizawa - 26 posts

#eraserhead - 24 posts

#aizawa shouta - 23 posts

#yamada hizashi - 20 posts

#fyuu gushes about a cat - 19 posts

#fyuu babbles back - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and hizashi would of course stifle his love to quieter gestures. his biggest hurtle he finds is fighting against shoutas lack of self worth

My Top Posts in 2022:

Anytime I see an au where Aizawa Shirakumo and Mic get to open their agency I think about how much easier it would be for AFO to get a hold of erasure.

Three young heros desperate to prove themselves, willing to do whatever it takes to do so? No supervision from veteran heros?

Luring Aizawa into a trap would be so easy.

And I really like the idea of Nomu Aizawa just being completely defective. Like erasures whole thing is nullify quirks, and maybe the doctor goes to far attempting to make it more powerful. Maybe activating it means canceling out every other quirk in his body.

And maybe everytime he nullifies his own quirks he regains bits of himself, and while he doesn't know who the blond and cloud boys are but he know they're important, and he wants desperately to see them but he knows he can't just leave Shigaraki alone. Despite being defective Shouta has managed to bond with Shigaraki, so he isn't completely useless to AFO, he'll gladly punish Shouta when Shigaraki acts out. And vice versa as Shouta slowly regains himself.

Oboro and Hizashi open up their agency, maybe they name it after their dearly missed friend. And they continually run into this villain? Vigilante? They aren't sure. And the corner him one day, just to talk, they work with plenty of vigilantes after all. Only as they approach they suddenly find themselves unable to activate their quirks as the other person flees.

It sends Oboro and Hizashi reeling. Bouts of denial, and what ifs, falling into old habits they'd tried so hard to push past.

And arguments as they try to trample down that budding hope.

375 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

A bit early for MerMay but close enough. I've been working on this one on and off for so long, I'm so happy with the final product and I hope y'all are as well! With and without the water.

Available on my RedBubble

396 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

Jon just likes the sound of Martins heartbeat, it keeps him grounded.

459 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

Do you think outside of his hero costume Mic wears a lot of turtlenecks? Like his directional speaker doubles as protection, and without he feels super exposed and vulnerable?

Maybe the only place he feels comfortable enough to be so exposed is home. And thats wherever Shouta is.

881 notes - Posted March 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Fucking dead 💀💀💀

27,501 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #FUCK YOU CRISP RAT POST I HATE YOU

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kroerms · 4 years ago

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Half-way (part three)

pairing: Akaashi Keiji x y/n (gender neutral)

genre: angstish at the beginning, happy ending!

warnings: bad coping mechanisms, almost depression like symptoms at the beginning. That's it I think, if I forgot something, please feel free to tell me.

a/n: this is part 3 out of 3 of this fic. I hope you all enjoyed the first two parts and I hope you will enjoy the last part as well. I love interactions so please feel free to tell me what you think about this fic :) reblogs are greatly appreciated. <3 love y'all!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Come on y/n, ya need ta leave that bed. Please. If ya don’t want ta get up for yerself, then at least get up and take a quick shower for me? A can’t handle this any longer. Yer just a shadow of who ya once were and A am not going ta let ya bathe in self loathing any longer. If ya don’t get up by yerself, A am going ta drag ya under the shower and out of this house maself.” Even if Atsumu’s words are a bit harsh, his voice is still as soft and comforting as it was the last couple of weeks you have spent at his place.

Another week has passed since “the dining table incident” and you are yet to get back to work.

To your luck, your boss gave you some holidays on short notice and you took a few extra health days. So you haven’t had to leave Atsumu’s guest room in the last few weeks.

You really don’t want to leave the comforts of the warm blankets and the many pillows that are laid out all over the bed. But Atsumu is right. You really need to take a shower. And it sure wouldn’t hurt to see the sun again. Since Atsumu took you in that night you haven’t left your room once, unless you had to use the bathroom.

So you nod meekly and sit up on the bed. Atsumu’s eyes widen slightly at your sudden movement, but a warm smile quickly grows on his face.

“There ya go, beautiful. Now how ‘bout that shower, hm?” Atsumu reaches out for you and grabs your hand with his. In one motion, he pulls you out of bed and into a standing position. The quick movement makes your head a little dizzy and you hold onto Atsumu for support.

“Yeah alright, no need ta get all touchy with me, beautiful. A am not the right man for ya anyways,” he smirks and you jokingly punch him on his broad chest.

“Oh shut up. I’m going to take a shower.” You smile at Atsumu. The gratitude you feel towards your friend is endless. You couldn’t have wished for a better friend in a time like this and so you go into the bathroom, undress yourself and get into the warm shower just for his sake. You decide that he is right. Enough is enough. You love Keiji with all your heart but you can’t just not live your life anymore until he comes back to you. At least you hope he will come back to you. This thought alone is what makes you want to see the sunlight again.

After the shower you change into casual clothes and brush your teeth. While you look at yourself in the mirror you understand what Atsumu meant when he said you look like the shadow of who you once were. He is right, you think. The dark circles under your eyes and the swollen eyelids from crying almost all day every day are evidence of your self loathing and it has to stop. So you look at yourself and give yourself a little pep talk before leaving the bathroom.

Atsumu is already waiting at the door for you, jacket in one hand and car keys in the other.

“Come on beautiful, let’s get ya out of here and back into the world. How ‘bout we get something ta eat? ” He says, while opening the front door. You agree and so the both of you leave his house.

Little do you know that you are not going to get something to eat right now, since Atsumu has a different plan in mind.

You don’t really notice where Atsumu is driving you until you reach your destination. It’s the park where Keiji asked you to be his almost 6 years ago.

“What are we doing here, I thought we are going to get something to eat?” You ask, your heart rate already picking up as you see the way Atsumu looks at you. Almost a little guilty he answers: “A am sorry, but A had ta promise ta make it a surprise. Please don’t be mad at me. Just get out of the car. If ya need me, A am picking ya up again, just give me a call, alright beautiful?”

He reaches over to the door and opens it for you. Your knees feel like jelly as you get out of Atsumu’s car and start to walk to the big oak tree up on the little hill at the back of the park. Your heart skips like every other beat as you near your destination. It’s not like Atsumu told you to go to that tree, you just know this is where you need to go because it is Keiji’s and your favorite spot in the entire park. As you get near the tree you see little lights in the branches and under it lies your favorite picnic blanket.

Keiji is sitting on the blanket patiently waiting for you to reach him. He doesn’t look like it but his heart is racing so fast, he feels like he just ran a marathon.

Soon enough you stand before him, a little awkward you tiptoe from one foot to the other and you fiddle with your fingers.

“Hi…”, you say, just loud enough for him to hear.

“Hey.” Keiji looks at you with warm, sad eyes. He now stands up as well, although keeping his distance out of fear that you would reject his advances to take your hand or to hug you.

“What is all of this?” you ask while gesturing to the lights above your head. You just now realize that besides all the little lights, there are lots and lots of little origami hearts on nylon thread.

“You can open them...you’ll understand once you do that.” Keiji answers.

You slowly make your way to the first heart and free it from the thread. You start to unfold it. On the back of the paper stands ‘because you are the most beautiful human being on this planet’. You look at Keiji dumbfounded. He just shrugs with his shoulders and says “open another one”.

You open the next and it says ‘because time spent without you is only worth half as much as time spent with you’.

“I don’t understand. What is all of this?”

“It’s all of the reasons why I am undeniably in love with you. It’s all the reasons why I want to be with you. It’s me not giving up halfway. It’s me telling you how sorry I am for hurting you like I did.” He looks at you with so much love and adoration in his gaze. Just like he used to.

Your eyes fill with tears and you wipe them with the sleeve of your hoodie before opening up the next heart. ‘because your smile still gives me butterflies’.

Another one. ‘because nothing feels better than listening to you reading your book out loud to me’.

Another. ‘because having you by my side is the best part of my life’.

You open up at least ten other hearts until you can’t read what they say anymore because your eyes are now filled to the brim with tears, clouding your vision. You turn to look at Keiji whose eyes are filled with tears as well.

“I love you so so much. And I can’t even begin to describe how sorry I am for not seeing it for a while. I am truly sorry that I hurt you like this and I will spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you, if you let me that is. Please be mine again.” Keiji looks at you, hands shaking in fear of what you are going to say.

“Keiji…”, you begin. But you have to take a break from speaking because your voice breaks. After a couple of seconds you try again.

“Did you read the letter I left you?” you ask.

“Yes. Over and over again to be honest”, he answers quietly.

“Then you already know my answer. I told you I would be here with open arms. The past couple of weeks were hell. I am not denying that I was hurt very badly. But I love you with all of my heart and that never changed. I missed you so so much, my love. And I am so glad that you found your way back to me again.” You reach for his hand and he lets you pull him into you, his own arms slinging around your shoulders while yours hold him around his waist. His head lays on top of yours while the both of you bask in each other's love.

After a moment you pull away, much to Keiji’s dismay. A pout forming on his lips. You look him in the eyes and whisper: “I love you so much.”

“And I love you. Today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life if you let me.” he whispers, before bending down slightly so that his lips can reach yours.

Keiji and you know that love exists. You can see it in each other’s eyes when you look at one another. You can feel it in the air around you as you lay on the picnic blanket under the oak tree. And you both know that love, real love - YOUR love lasts a lifetime. And the both of you couldn’t be happier that you are only half-way to the end of that road and that there will be many years to come for the love of you to grow stronger every second of every day.

#keiji x y/n #keiji x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #akaashi x y/n #akaashi x gender neutral reader #akaashi keji x reader #akaashi x you #akaashi fanfiction #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x gender neutral reader

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jovialluminaryalpaca · 4 years ago

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True Beauty | Little by Little | Han Seojun x Kang Soojin fanfic series | part 2

Part 1 , Part 3

Hey, hey, I hope y'all are doing good, this will probably be a 3 part series and I hope I'll wrap it up by the next part. Anyhow, I hope y'all will like this part, don't forget to leave a like and reblog and feel free to share your views via ask or text, thank you 💛

No major warnings, very slight cursing (not edited)

Soojin sighed as she looked at her phone and waited for Seojun to come out of the studio. She was seated on one of the tables in the cafeteria at Move Entertainment. She tapped her feet impatiently as she sat there, it had been 2 days since Seojun witnessed her breakdown and decided to give her space to recover like he said. She felt embarrassed, not because she ruined one of his favourite jackets with her tears but because media had caught him holding her hand on a busy sidewalk that night. There were numerous stories and rumours around them and she was bombarded with calls from Jugyeong and Soo ah. She decided to ignore those calls because she knew they will only ask her questions she didn't wanna answer especially when she was recovering from her father's visit and her realisation of having feelings for Seojun.

If it was in her hands, she would've continued to avoid Seojun, but she had to come to the office to clear the rumours and make a statement that Seojun was just her friend and he was helping her out. It hurt her to say something like that but she couldn't really do anything about it, it was for Seojun's good and she knew that one sided love was all that was written in her fate.

In the past two days, she couldn't help but wonder when was it that it happened? When was the moment she started getting attached to Seojun and was dumb enough to not realise it? Was it when he made fun of her need to set everything in an order or was it when they bickered over almost any topic they could find? Was it when he called her everytime he was free and they would go to her favourite restaurant go grab a meal or was it when he stayed up late and planned a birthday surprise for a kid by performing a little concert at the orphanage the kid stayed in and the one her company helped? Was it when he casually called her pretty and bossy at the same time or was it when he apologized to her for calling her a piece of trash?

She remembered the time he did.

It was one of those nights, he walked her home after they hung out. They were both laughing at how a random old woman on the road mistook Seojun to be her grandson and dragged both of them along with her to come with her and have some dinner or tea at her place. Neither of them had the heart to refuse the old woman and it clearly looked like she missed her young grandson, so they decided to join her and much to their dismay, her real son approached them and apologised for the inconvenience she caused, she apologised and both of them told her it was not much of a big deal.

"Ya. Do you think we would've got free dinner if her son didn't come?" He asked her.

"Really? You are thinking about dinner? Oh My God." She exclaimed as he burst into laughter.

"No, no, no, I mean, food is everything you know." He said as she chuckled.

"You are such a goofball, I swear." She responded as he smiled at her. They both kept walking till they reached her apartment, they always took the route which less crowded and where he could freely roam without the mask.

"Next time, don't remove your mask in public, otherwise some other grandma will make you her grandson." She said as she nudged him.

He rolled his eyes but eventually laughed it off and shook his head as they finally reached her apartment.

"Don't worry, I won't." He replied as she nodded.

"Get home safe and try to stay as far as possible from groups of girls." She said as he smiled.

"Why? Are you jealous?" He asked as she laughed at his stupid question.

"No, because I want you to stay alive and not choke yourself to death when you get smothered by thousands of girls." She said as a matter of fact and he simply shook his head and she shrugged it off.

"Ya, Kang Soojin." He said as she looked at him.

"I'm sorry." He said out of nowhere and she looked at him blankly.

Why was he apologising to her?

"For what?" She asked as she studied his expression.

"I'm sorry for being a jerk to you back in school and for calling all those awful things." He said as she opened her mouth to say something but closed it back again.

"I know it's out of nowhere, but I just felt like I should apologise, so I did." He continued as she looked at him wordlessly.

Something about his apology was sincere even when she knew what she did was worth way worse than the words he chose to call her back then. Honestly, she deserved those words to be slapped on her and there was no justification for what she did except for it being a mean of escape which she found in Suho back then but she didn't anymore when she realized that what she did led to loosing one thing she cherished so dearly, her friendship with everyone including Suho.

"Why are you apologising? I deserved it." She said and scoffed at herself.

"Maybe, that version of you did, but I wanted to apologise to this version of you and not let her hold on to what I said back then." He explained as she looked at him with a smile.

"You don't have anything to apologise for, it's all in the past, it's like a closed back, I've moved past it, those words don't bother me that much anymore but it's the guilt that bothers me, it's always there whenever I'm around Jugyeong." She replied as he looked at her with a slight frown.

"Suho wasn't worth all that, honestly." He added as she chuckled.

"Yeah." She said as he looked at her and she looked back at him. There was just silence as they looked at each other.

"Don't you have rehearsals tomorrow for your concert?" She cleared her throat and asked him, his eyes widened as he remembered the rehearsal timings for the next day.

"Oh, no, I do. Oh, no, no. Heegyeong is gonna kill me if I don't reach the studio on time. I'll see you this weekend?" He asked as he checked his pocket for the bus pass.

"Yeah, you will, if I don't any event or work that is." She said as he smiled.

"Good, then, I'll see you later. Good night." He said and turned around to leave.

"Ya, Han Seojun!" She called out.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Why don't get a car for yourself?" She asked as his eyes widened to realise that he was rich now and he scratched the back of his neck and looked down.

"It will save you the hustle." She continued as he nodded.

"I'll look into it." He responded and turned his back to walk ahead.

"Good Night!" She called out as he waved his hand one last time and so did she as he walked away. She stood there as she smiled to her self wondering when will Seojun finally learn to organize himself and then walked towards the elevator.

"Soojin?" Heegyeong's voice pulled her out of the trance as she looked at her and smiled.

"Yeah. Should I come now?" She asked as Heegyeong sat beside her.

"No, don't worry, it's handled. You don't have to make a statement, we cleared it out and warned Seojun to not be so careless." She replied and looked at Soojin.

"It's not his fault. I was the one who was in a hurry. I'm sorry for this mess." She said as Heegyeong looked at her with a small smile.

"You don't have to apologise Soojin, I understand, everyone has good and bad days and it's completely okay to have them." She said as Soojin nodded.

On the other side, Han Seojun ruffled his hair as he walked out of one of the studios and looked around to find Soojin. He was glad that she was doing alright and then he felt a sudden flutter in his chest as he looked at her smile at Heegyeong. He gulped not knowing why he felt that. He stopped as he admired her from the distance and a goofy smile appeared on his face.

Honestly, he would be lying if he didn't admit that Soojin effected him, her happiness and just her presence made him happy in ways he couldn't define, at first he felt like she was more of a replacement for Jugyeong and maybe her presence acted like some kind of a rebound for him but now he was sure that she was different and unique and maybe that's why he liked her presence around him. He weirdly felt comfort in the way she scolded him when she looked at the mess he made most of the time and the times she explained what certain words and references meant in fan letters. There was another tug on his heart's strings when she smiled and turned around to look at him. He smiled as he felt a gush of flutters in his stomach and she waved at him. He wasn't a fool to not realise what these feelings were but he was reluctant to accept that he started to feel them around someone who wasn't Jugyeong.

Did he finally move on from Jugyeong?

His heart whispered a yes as he walked towards Soojin, stood in front of her and ruffled her hair and she scowled at his action and that scowl on her face as she set her hair right and the rapid beating of his heart was enough for him to know that yes, he was finally over Jugyeong and that, yes, he definitely developed feelings for his school's ex top mark securing girl.

"We have something to tell y'all." Jugyeong said as she tapped the table and everyone looked at her.

It was weekend after the whole mess that happened with Seojun and the media, He apologised to Soojin for not being careful and she gave him a lecture on how he should be more careful with all of this and how risky it was to expose his face especially when they are teenagers around and how no one knows what their intentions can be, some might be innocent but what if someone was looking for some revenge or was an obsessed psychopath. He couldn't help but laugh at her theories only to get a silencing glare from her. They made up irrespective of the fact that neither of them were aware about the feelings they developed for the other.

They were now seated at the same table they sat months ago in the same position but it was dinner now, Jugyeong called all of them to gather here and they did because no one wanted to hear Jugyeong get mad at them for skipping the dinner.

"Don't tell me you are pregnant." Tae hoon blurted out as Soo ah burst into laughter.

Suho just shook his head at them and observed everyone.

Jugyeong glared at Soo ah but shrugged it off eventually as Soo ah let out a nervous chuckle. Jugyeong smiled at everyone who looked at her and then put her left hand up showing the sparkling diamond ring on her ring finger.

"Suho proposed and I said yes." She exclaimed happily as Suho smiled at her and wrapped his arm around to pull her close while the girls gushed at the news. Soo ah squealed at the news with happiness and Soojin smiled at her best friend. Suho observed Seojun's reaction but much to his surprise, he didn't feel his heart clench, like all the times before and he gave them a genuine smile and clapped along with the others congratulating the pair. Suho thanked them with a smile as Soojin looked at Seojun smile and felt happy that he finally moved on from Jugyeong.

After a while, Cho rong and Tae hoon decided to go explore something which opened down the street while Suho and Seojun walked out of the restaurant to let the girls to gush over details and spend their time alone without their partners or friends.

"You like Soojin?" Suho asked Seojun as they looked at the street view. Seojun choked on his drink as Suho shook his head at him.

"What? No." He said and shrugged.

"After all these years, you must know better than lying to my face." Suho said as he observed his friend's reaction. Seojun was silent as he contemplated the idea of telling Suho and eventually gave in.

"I...I do." Seojun said after a while as he cleared his throat.

"Then, why didn't you tell her?" He asked him.

"Do you think I'm ready for another heartbreak?" He asked as Suho looked at him.

"How will you know without confessing?" Suho asked instead.

"I guess, I just know how is it when the person I like looks at me as a friend." He said and shrugged.

"Maybe she doesn't." Suho said as he turned around to look at the girls from the window.

And much to his surprise, he found Soojin throw a glance towards Seojun and it confirmed his suspicions.

"Let it be. Will you?" Seojun asked with a mixture of scowl and frown on his face.

"As you wish." Suho said as he looked at him.

"Honestly, I still can't believe that you found a girl and fell in love." Seojun said as Suho raised an eyebrow at him.

"What? Have you looked at yourself? With those death glares and eyebrow raises you give, it's hard to believe that someone fell in love with you." Seojun explained as Suho smiled at his best friend.

"You are really a dumbass." Suho said as Seojun widened his eyes.

"Who are you calling dumbass, dumbass?" He asked as Suho shrugged and decided to walk ahead.

"I asked Jugyeong to call us when they are done talking, wanna join me for a walk?" Suho asked Seojun. Seojun stopped for a while and looked at Soojin smile and talk to her friends and he couldn't help but smile at the sight, he sighed and looked at Suho who stood there waiting for his response. He could definitely use a bit of fresh air to clear his head.

"Alright. Let's go." He said and covered his face with a mask and joined Suho.

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