#self help for assholes

[oranjank]

we gotta stop it with the whole starving artist/university student/young hardworking person thing. going without food as a working and growing person is not thrifty or virtuous or a sign of moral purity. it is actually quite dangerous and should not be expected as "part of the grind" or what the fuck ever. same goes for chronic insomnia in the name of "getting shit done". you will never be a machine no matter how many energy drinks and mgs of adderall you slam to cope with your immense workload. being an emaciated go-getter is a seductive idea and certainly seems cost-effective in the face of food insecurity and time poverty but it is a false god. break its altar.

[viktors-filipina-girlfriend]

I need them so bad. (They're fictional and an asshole)

[kingofanemptyworld]

hey you know what would be fun? a fic where the Royal Guard follows through with their plans to make Ichigo the new Soul King and Grimmjow promptly loses his shit because what the actual fuck Ichigo has already given these people literally everything, twice, and this is how they repay him? recruits Nel and Harribel and Urahara and Yoruichi (after Nel sits on him for a while because Jesus Christ Grimmjow you can’t storm Soul Society by yourself no matter how much you’ve powered up) and it’s the Ryoka Invasion all over again except with pissed off arrancar instead. I just think it would be neat

[kacievvbbbb]

Look I like Roger enough, I understand what he represents and I generally don’t think he was a bad dude. I do however think he was shit at interpersonal relationships because, what the fuck. Whitebeards crew is infinitely more well adjusted and I’d say he arguably had the more traumatic death.

Like what even, what kind of planning leads a 53 year old man to sire a child knowing he is dying of an incurable illness and is about to turn himself in to be excuted by the marines where he will cause so much chaos it is literally still turning the world on its head 22 years later. He knew he was going to cause so much of a stir that he literally disbanded his crew and told them to spread far and wide to keep them safe. Because he knew the marines would hunt them far and wide But yet he still brought a baby into the world. Babe. What the fuck? What even is that? What was the thought process. I sincerely hope it was an accident and not a deliberate attempt to bring about a new era.

Because if so babe I need to see the recipe or I’m afraid we can never let you cook again

[topaziraphale]

"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

[crybaby-bkg]

Bakugou is a stumbling, fumbling nerd at best. But once he realizes that you become even more flustered than him? The fucker won’t leave you alone.

He’s not a fan of PDA, mainly because he doesn’t like seeing it so he doesn’t like acting it out in turn, but he grabs your hand one day while you’re out. Paparazzi is swarming you and he doesn’t want you getting lost in the crowd, so he plucks your hand from where it’s tucked in your (his) hoodie pocket. He snatches you up against his side and pulls you in until his hand drops yours to protectively wrap around your shoulders instead, bringing you against his chest. He thinks you might be hurt after you get inside, when you’re too flustered to look him in the eye for a while.

So he tests, experiments with you. Gives you a sweet little kiss on the lips when your friends are around, when fans are looking. He watches how you always smile a little, bat at his chest and push him away because now that he’s seen you like this, he’s gonna want more from you. At private parties, he has no qualms about rubbing your ass while you stand there, mid conversation with someone. You keep stuttering over your words and trying to bat him away gently, and he wouldn’t typically do this, but you’re so cute. So cute when the person finally walks away and you punch softly at his chest in embarrassment, how you squeak when he pulls you in a hug just to grab another handful of your ass.

Omg and doing joint interviews together!!!! Usually he’s pretty private about everything, but he likes sharing little details—not to embarrass or humiliate you, but because he knows you’re getting flashbacks of tangled sheets and sweet nights whenever he mentions a little detail. Or maybe, you find yourself patting his thigh jokingly, before looking over at him, a smile stretching your face. But the evil little fucker is only smirking at you, his eyes low, posture slumped as he spreads his thighs just the tiniest bit wider. He doesn’t even say anything, just glances at how high your hand is on his thigh before looking back up at you, an eyebrow cocked. You snatch your hand away as if he’s burned you, and the interviewer can only laugh. ANNOYING!!!!! (lovingly)

[katsigian]

Hey what if we left people the fuck alone when it comes to their ships, yeah? Let people enjoy what they want to enjoy in this bleak fucking world instead of barging in with some lame and unneeded moral grandstanding. "UMM actually here's why your ship is problematic 🤓" how about we stop being judge-y and self righteous instead? What are you a cop? Because policing someone's ship in your 30's is embarrassing

If someone wants to ship their OCs with a certain dynamic or with a specific type of character, then that's FINE. Stop being a clown and vague posting about them. Unless there is something obviously wrong (i.e. underage and so on), your opinion need not be expressed in the most bitch-coded vaguepost

[s0fter-sin]

they really 50/50’d the thunderbolts with characters i like and characters i couldn’t give less of a shit about

[some-pers0n]

I still stand by the idea that fiction can help you far more than self-help books. One story that is a good-faith and well-written tale about your specific niche of mental health struggles is worth a hundred self-help books

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

Okay but also because I'm a pedantic bitch...in relation to that post I just reblogged explaining part of gay-on-gay bigotry...what if some people are just assholes who happen to be gay, or bi or trans? And they're all for oppression or just plain cruelty as long as it's aimed at other people? Like that's also something to consider.

I don't actually think, any longer, that "internalized self-hate projected outward and also suppressed envy for someone who's doing and being all the things you were convinced into not allowing yourself" is...all there is to this phenonemon. And I wish we'd stop fixating on that quite so much just because we want to be frankly, nicer than some of these people have ever deserved. It's always more satisfying on some level, to imagine your enemies as Tortured deep inside (whether it's because you feel a bit malicious or you just want to believe that there's a way to reach out and heal them with kindness.) than to admit that Sometimes They're Just a Shithead.

Now, do I think that complex can be a big part of it? Oh yeah. And of COURSE, different people have different motivations in different amounts and yadda yadda yadda. No group of people, ethnic, gender, political or otherwise is a Monolith. (For one thing, when it comes to these Pick-Me Gay/Trans pundits and Influencers, money and clout should never be left out as an explanation. Just saying.) But that's the point, isn't it? Any ONE explanation can't explain them all completely.

Tbh, I think we need to consider some people are just bullies who happened to be born not cis or straight. And even if they were bullied at one point for their identity, they learned absolutely nothing from the experience except Don't Be On the Social Reject Side. So they moved their thinking just enough that "woman who likes women" "man who likes men" "I just happened o want to be a woman instead, or a man instead despite how I was born" could be put in the Safe category and they fight for that. Everyone else though, is still fair game and even a fair target. Some people don't just want power to escape oppression and live their lives in peace, they WANT to BE the ones oppressing. Like, do we ACTUALLY understand that LGBT people are humans too and that that includes the bad side?

It tracks a lot better too, when you consider that a lot of people like the masc4masc gays are openly racist and fatphobic. "No fems" Yes but also "No fats. No Asians." Christ, I could think of countless examples of white thin (and sometimes but not necessary cis) queer people doing that sort of thing. I'm sure y'all can too. This idea of some poor lost soul Tormented by Self Hate and Envy of the Freedom of Others doesn't do shit to explain that. Like, even if the two things coexist and they can, it doesn't explain that part.

I honestly just think the uglier but more accurate truth is that lot of queer people aren't all Hashtag Gay or Trans Rights or aren't Liberal out of any sense of justice AT ALL but only self-interest. Being an activist because you're a member of an oppressed group is like, entirely normal and fine of course BUT it becomes real clear when someone's framework of ethics and politics is PURELY "I think me (and people I personally like and approve of) being oppressed is bad" and literally not one inch deeper.

You can tell because if it was deeper, why would they find it so easy to turn around to a fellow queer/trans person to jeer at and humiliate and throw them under the bus if they think they're a Deadweight to the group by being a Weirdo I Don't Want to Stand Next to, Eww...or if they just don't personally like them? Why have you clearly spent absolutely no time unpacking any of the prejudice and biases around gender sexuality (or GOD FORBID race) that society throws at you.. at least no more time than it takes to rationalize yourself out of the category of Should Be Destroyed and Oppressed?

We are not immune from this sort of terminally self-interested activism. I just feel like we'd get a lot further as a society, as a community, if sometimes our analysis of bullies and assholes didn't fixate on finding some deep pain and trauma inside them, to explain their actions in a way that makes them look more tortured and less malicious (even if we say, even mean, that it's not supposed to be an excuse). Sometimes people are just racist, or fatphobic. Sometimes lesbians or gay men or bi or trans people just want to be judgmental bullies too.

Sometimes the reality isn't Tragic Villain Backstory. Sometimes, its just a selfish, deeply pathetic person refusing to become any less, because it's easier not to; even if you had a unique chance to see how the other side lives, a chance your straight cis bully peers didn't get by virtue of their identities.

[styona]

Oh, honey... I know, I do fucking know...

[dailykugisaki]

Day 347 | id in alt

Kugisaki hasn't been around Gojo enough to gaf about him LMAO.

[quackity1999]

I tried being nice, but it seems like that won't work here.

When I come back, Quackity, you're not getting rid of me again. I'm NOT going away again, so better get fucking used to me talking in your ears. Maybe Manburg is gone, but las Nevadas isn't, and it needs a competent leader, someone unlike you. You fuck up everything you touch. I'm surprised this place hasn't burnt to the ground with you leading it. Maybe it already has from the inside, and you're too idiotic to notice it.

-🍾(I'm TRYING to fit more curses in the dialogue but I don't curse much I'll do my best to up it o7)

now— hold on a fucking second. i'm the only person who could bring you back. right? i mean, dream's stuck in fucking prison. he keeps going on and on about how he's got all the revival shit stuck in his head.

so therefore. you're not getting out of this unless i say so.

god. it's almost like— it's almost like i've had power over you since day one. HA. i mean. fuck, what with the pooling votes, and now this? what the fuck am i calling you sir for?

schlatt; listen to me. you'd turn my nation into a fucking orgy den within minutes if you got your hands on it. i'm not taking that risk right now.

unless i find a way to get you on a tight leash. :]

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

I'm getting kind of irritated with people saying that Isha is everything Jinx wanted Powder to be, a more competent and skilled version of her.

As if Isha very distinctly doesn't have two things Powder didn't have at that same age.

The first being that Isha has a teacher willing and able to teach her the skills she wants to learn, like shooting and building things.

Where as Powder was very clearly mostly self taught when it comes to bomb making. Considering she can repair and upgrade the arcade machines with no issue, meaning her struggles are mainly centered on building bombs specifically. While we see she's already an excellent shot with the arcade shooting game, no one is willing to give her a real gun.

The second is that Isha doesn't have an asshole like Mylo constantly getting on her ass about being a fuck up.

Which very clearly just made Powder more anxious about trying to do anything out of fear of fucking it up, which just resulted in her more often than not fucking up when she did try. Resulting in a vicious cycle.

Not to mention that even when we see Powder doing the things she's good at, repairing/upgrading the arcade machine and beating Mylo at the shooting game, Mylo still finds a way to minimize that as stuff that doesn't matter and isn't useful.

[And that's part of why in season 1 Jinx was so upset that she couldn't beat Vi's high score at the boxing game. Even after all these years, at that point in time, she still values Vi's ability to box over her ability to shoot or to build things.

Yeah she could have totally beaten the highest score on the shooting score board, but it wouldn't have mattered because she could have done that as a kid. And Mylo had already convinced her back then, that the shooting game didn't matter, that it didn't count towards being useful.]

Like people are out here acting like there isn't a major difference between a kid getting one on one attention from an expert about a skill they're interested in learning.

And a kid stumbling through teaching themselves how to do something from trial and error, while also constantly being told that they're a fuck up who's wasting everyone's time when they inevitably get something wrong because they're self taught.

Then there's Isha having access to far better materials and tools than Powder did, due to Jinx being the one teaching her this stuff.

Or that Isha is getting one on one attention from Jinx.

While Powder had to either share Vi's time and attention with Mylo, Claggor, and Ekko, (and possibly other kids from what we see in the Enemy music video), or share Vander's time and attention with Vi, Mylo, and Claggor, and the rest of the Undercity.

If Powder did at some point get lessons under Benzo, then she would have also would have been competing for his attention with Ekko, and his customers.

Like people just compare these two's abilities, without also accounting for the vastly different environments in which they were learning and developing these skills and their mentality.

[cluescorner]

Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:

Steph (25):

Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)

Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)

Her worst trait really is her spitefulness

Cass (26)

Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.) 

Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness. 

Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)

Tim (24)

Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)

Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)

His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)

Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)

Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this). 

Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)

His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)

Dick (17) 

Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)

Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)

His worst trait actually is his anger issues.

Barbara (18)

Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)  

Thinks her worst trait is her disability 

Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)

Damian (16)

Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)

Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism 

His worst trait actually is his perfectionism

Duke (16)

Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)

Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)

His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words

Jason (14)

Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne). 

Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)

His worst trait actually is his reactiveness

[cosmic-ships]

Hey if you gloat about "stealing" f/o's from a person who doesn't like to share, I'm gonna need you to grow up and respect people's boundaries and also get the fuck away from me.