#seeking and waiting

[shiningdesignersreflections]

Chapter 2: Seeking and Waiting

Narrated by the design.

Yexiao: I think I've seen flowers like this before... but where?

Narrator: I hear a clear voice, but it's distant. Darkness surrounds me, and I cannot see anything.

Yexiao: Something is missing.

Narrator: The voice seems to be speaking to me, but also seems to be muttering to itself.

Yexiao: Perhaps something special? A spring morning, the first shaft of light breaking through the rain, or maybe something else...

Narrator: The voice is pleasant, but I can't understand what she is saying. I don't know what spring is, or rain, or sunshine.

Narrator: Following her murmuring and the rasp of a pencil, I gradually take form.

Narrator: It's the sound of a pencil moving across the paper, and something warm causes my soul to wake up.

Narrator: Bathing in the warmth of brilliant lights, I open up my eyes.

Yexiao: Although I'm still not done, at least there's progress.

Narrator: I see her scribble some letters at the bottom of the draft.

Narrator: Yexiao.

Narrator: Her name.

Narrator: I can see her, and feel the gentle touch of her pencil, but I can't communicate with her.

Narrator: I'm an unfinished draft, and without her final touches, I am not a complete soul.

Choose either "So you could only look at her?" or "Why wouldn't Yexiao let you finish the drawing?"

If "look," ...

You: So you could only watch her?

Narrator: We were together for a long time... although it was probably short for her.

If "finish," ...

You: Why didn't Yexiao finish drawing you?

Narrator: Yexiao always felt that "something was missing," and I waited, waited for her to finish me.

--

Narrator: Yexiao brought me to many places, and I was a silent traveler accompanying her.

Narrator: I had no sense of time, but Yexiao always seemed to have a lot of time, and never rushed our travels.

Narrator: We left Cloudcrest, passing through the luxurious Zither River and Azureink by the sea, where the sky was always gray.

Yexiao: Is it here? It should be, I think?

Narrator: Yexiao gets lost often, and was almost sent back to Cloudcrest by the police because of this.

Narrator: It seems like the roads in reality don't match with the map in her mind, so she relies on her intuitions.

Narrator: That day, walking along a small stream, Yexiao got lost again.

Narrator: This world has many streams like this, clear, gentle, dancing through the forests and fields.

Narrator: But perhaps this stream was unique, since Yexiao found what she was looking for by following this path.

Narrator: The stream leads to an abandoned village. The years had eaten away at the buildings for at least a century.

Narrator: At first, Yexiao can only stare at the deserted village.

Narrator: She walks into the town, stepping on fallen leaves, and as if pulled along by a string, walks into a courtyard.

Narrator: The ropes of a swing lay rotten among blossoming flowers that billow petals in the wind.

Narrator: Spring, morning, after a bout of rain. The first ray of sunlight shines down. It's all perfect.

Yexiao: So that's what it is. It's here.

Narrator: Yexiao pushes open a dusty door. The design of the room is strange yet simple, and a teacup rests on a table.

Narrator: The furniture rests undisturbed, as if in one moment there were people living here, and in the next moment they were gone.

Narrator: Yexiao dusts the table, puts down her drawing board, and lays me out again.

Yexiao: After searching for so long, I can finally continue.

Narrator: Her voice was always calm, gentle and clear. She was determined to complete me.

Yexiao: Just a little more.

Narrator: Perhaps because I had travelled with her for too long, I grew tired and fell deep into sleep.

Narrator: I dreamt of something, perhaps, if designs could dream.

Narrator: I dreamed of when the village was still not abandoned, irises blooming, ivies snaking across the walls like a designer drawing.

Narrator: Rain had just fallen, and the stone road is still wet. If there were a smell to morning dew, then it must be sweet.

Narrator: From the window wafts the aroma of somebody making steamed buns.

Narrator: A girl plays on a swing set in the courtyard. She extends her feet at the height of the swing, and retracts them when going back.

Narrator: She wears ancient clothing, little bells tied to her ankle. When the swing goes up, the bells ring in response.

Narrator: Ring, ring.

Narrator: The girl is happy. She smiles as brilliantly as the sunlight that shines down on her.

Woman's Voice: Yexiao, time for breakfast!

Missy: Alright, I'm coming!

Narrator: The girl stumbles off the swing onto the ground. She sits for a while before picking herself up and running into the room.

Missy: What are we having today? Dumplings? Steamed buns?

Narrator: I hear voices from the house.

Missy: Oh, meat buns.

Missy: Are we having hot pot tonight?

Missy: Meeps, time to wake up Meeps...

Narrator: Are these memories that Yexiao had forgotten? Are they coming back to her now?

Narrator: I don't know how much time has passed when I wake up, and when I do, I'm back in Cloudcrest.

Narrator: Yexiao isn't home, and the room is dark.

Narrator: And so I wait. I waited quietly in that room for almost as long as Yexiao had travelled.

Narrator: Finally, I hear the door open, sunlight pouring into the dark room.

Yexiao: *cough* It's dusty.

Narrator: It's Yexiao, she's back. She picks me up from the table.

Yexiao: This drawing looks familiar, when did I draw it? I don't think it's finished.

Narrator: She forgets again. She forgets me, and probably forgets those memories she struggled to get past.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

[valeriapryanikova]

a fallen angel

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Flower Empowered.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

[just-null]

Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!

Mentioning an unfamiliar name

yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..

I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

can I humbly request.... some Gavv art of the guys?

I missed them last weekend... I've started to look forward to our weekly sugar high!

[starry-bi-sky]

"Stillborn? No, no, still born." -- DPXDC AU

Based off a comment I saw where Bruce knew about Talia's pregnancy in the earlier comivs, and was ecstatic to be a father. So much so that Talia feared he'd give up being Batman for it, so when she gave birth she put the baby (Damian) on a doorstep and (seemingly) told Bruce that the baby was stillborn.

Instead of Damian, that baby was Danny! Meet Daniel Brown, the 14 year old foster kid whose been living with the Fenton family for the last two years. He's about two years older than Damian.

His last name, "Brown", was a generic surname given to him because the note he came with didn't have one on it. It just had the name "Danyal" on it, but albeit 'Daniel' was the one that had been put into the system for, I'll be totally frank here, racism reasons.

(I looked it up to make sure, and it's generally not permissible for foster parents to change the names of their foster kids even if it's a permanent residency, and for that reason Danny doesn't have the last name "Fenton".)

Danny's got ✨~issues!~✨ He's been through a handful of homes growing up, most of them terrible for a variety of reasons. Which has, as a result, left lasting scars. He's generally a very sweet kid, just very distrustful and jumpy. He's got the signs of a kid suffering from PTSD, and a handful of other issues including attachment and insomnia. His inferiority complex could rival Damian's, and that's going to make for an interesting mutual hatred for when they finally meet.

(something I'll get into later)

He still has the blanket he was found in. It's made of a very high quality material and is a beautiful emerald green with little golden thread accents, it's high quality as a result has Danny clinging onto a desperate hope that his bio family might be out there, and the only reason they gave him up was because of some outside factor. It's been taken a few times in old foster homes, and he's flipped out each time.

While he still calls Jack and Maddie by their names, he likes them well enough. The bar isn't that high though, and while they're some of the better foster parents he's had, "better" doesn't equal "safest". Their laboratory malpractice. Basically, C- Fenton Parents. They're negligent by virtue of being engrossed in their work, but they do care equally about Jazz and Danny. So he doesn't hold it against them that much.

He kinda prefers it that way, their loud affection is overwhelming and Danny doesn't know what to do with their attention, even if he craves it. It's a bit of a complicated situation.

They took in Danny because they genuinely wanted another child, but didn't want a big age gap between them and Jazz. It was actually Jack's idea to foster, and they discussed it with Jazz beforehand. She was all for the idea. Thus, a handful of weeks later, a ton of paperwork, and inspection later, and Daniel Brown entered their household with a trash bag in one hand and eyes like shards of stained glass.

His relationship with Jazz is kinda strained, but that's by virtue of her constant psychoanalyzing and helicoptering. Like with the parents, Danny's overwhelmed by the attention and also just, straight up doesn't like the fact that she's telling him that there's something wrong with him. He knows that, thank you. He pushes her away when she does this.

Other than that though? When Jazz isn't smothering him and is acting like an actual sibling and not a third parent, they're pretty close, and Danny really likes her. They've hung out a few times on their own volition, and Jazz showed him how to take better care of his long hair.

His school situation,, pretty similar to canon with the bullying, albeit with a few more instances of him blowing a fuse and lashing out against his attackers. He's a rather angry kid, but it's quiet. It builds up, piles on top of itself, until eventually, like a volcano, it erupts and burns everyone within radius.

Danny's got a fire core, not an ice core. Phantom's hair is made of white magma; thick and heavy, setting itself on fire when his anger runs hot. When he gets angry, his skin begins to char and split open to reveal pulsating lava underneath, and he crackles and pops like a raging forest fire.

I haven't decided yet on how he meets the batfam -- i've got two ideas but they're both in opposition to each other, and drastically alter how the rest of the plot goes. But I do know that him and Damian hate each other in the beginning. And it has nothing to do with inheritance or "being the blood son" -- although their blood relation absolutely plays the major role in their disdain for each other.

Simply put, they're jealous of each other for the same thing: thinking that the other was wanted.

Damian hates Danny because, unlike Damian, Bruce knew about Danny since conception and wanted him from the moment he heard about him. He had a whole nursery set up, and still does. He never took it down -- just locked the door. Damian was thrust upon Bruce without warning, and he feels like he forced himself into the family. And while on some level Damian knows and understands that Bruce wants him and loves him as much as his other children, that doubt and feeling of inferiority still remains. He looks at Danny and sees him with what Damian always feels he needs reaffirmed.

Meanwhile, Danny hates Damian because he looks at him and sees him with everything Danny's ever wanted. He hates him because Damian grew up knowing both of their parents, with one of them for most of his life, and then moved over to the other. There was never a moment where Damian was (seemingly) left to doubt his place within the family. Damian was raised with the very same woman who left Danny on a doorstep, with no clue to his identity beyond a little green blanket and a note with only a first name. Damian was wanted everywhere, and Danny was wanted nowhere. Damian is Danny's replacement in his eyes.

(It's the little revelation that Damian grew up with their mother that elevates Danny from being quietly envious of Damian to downright despising him. What did Damian do, that Danny didn't? He could live with Damian living with Bruce -- Bruce didn't know Danny was even alive. But him living with their mom? Are you fucking kidding him?)

Damian never outright attacks Danny physically, but it's not like he hides that he didn't like Danny. Meanwhile, Danny, in all his repressive anger, quietly despised him from a distance until finally one wrong snide side-comment has him blowing up and it becomes a screaming match. They're both just enough similar to each other that when they look at each other they really just see a mirror.

They'll work it out together, eventually. But it'll be ugly and cruel and explosive, and they'll start mending the bridge to become brothers in more than just blood relation in the end.

But yeah, stillborn Danny has... a lot going for him.

[abusivelittlebunny]

Daddy's perfect little machine

[acearchivist359]

the way i knew something was up the second sam broke that door down and the audio immediately got clearer ….

up to that point i though it was muffled because whoever’s phone was in their pocket and we’d just skipped the usual dialling sound [i was too distracted by the whole mr bonzo situation to register the first tape recorder] but the second the door came down and the audio got clearer my first thought was there’s a tape recorder in there . and i can’t believe i was right what the fuck

[thesaltyace]

Link to original video in replies.

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

stitched creator: keep Palestinians' names out of your mouth when you're trying to defend your decision for voting for Kamala--

bigzaiire: I'm starting to see a lot of these videos coming out and I feel like someone really really has to speak on it, so I'm going to. And I'm gonna tell this with all my due respect -- Palestine is not the only country that's dealing with genocide right now.

I am from Congo in case you cannot tell, I'm from Congo, okay? We are also dealing with genocide in Congo. In fact, the genocide in Congo has been going for way longer than the genocide in Palestine. The genocide in Congo has made 8 millions of victims. 8 millions.

And you might wonder, why am I making this video? Well, I am making this video because I'm going to support Vice President Kamala. 100% I'm going to. And I'm going to tell you why I'm going to support Vice President Kamala.

Listen to me. This is one of the Congolese genocide enabler. His name is Dan Getler. This guy is an Israeli billionaire who owns mines in Congo. This guy was sanctioned in 2017 by President Barack Obama for corrupt and illegal mining.

Listen very carefully. He was sanctioned by Obama. Obama is a Democrat. Okay?

This dude got reinstated. Someone gave him his money back. Someone gave him his money back. Do you know who did that?

Donald Trump.

Donald Trump gave him [Israeli billionaire Dan Getler] his money back. It was one of the very last thing he did as a president was to give this guy his money back.

And do you know who sanctioned this guy again?

President Biden.

President Biden sanctioned him again. So currently, this person [Israeli billionaire Dan Getler] does not have his money. All the money, all the illegal money he made in Congo -- he does not have it right now. Because of President Biden.

So one thing I know for sure, one thing I know for sure: Vice President Kamala, she's not going to let this guy get his money back. And another thing that I know for sure is that if Trump gets back in office, Trump is going to reinstate this guy. Trump is going to give him his money back.

How do you think Israel is getting all the money? Because of this guy. He's one of the people who are giving money is Israel. So if you want to stop this guy -- hmm? -- from getting his money back and potentially giving that money to Israel, make sure that Trump does not make it.

Now let's be real for a second. Because I feel like a lot of people don't take this part in consideration. Listen.

A lot of people have lost their jobs for supporting Palestine.

A lot of content creators got their account banned for supporting Palestine.

A lot of people got hurt physically for protesting for Palestine.

A lot of people have ruined their relations with their families and friends simply because they were on the side of Palestine.

So if you're going to tell all these people who have sacrificed so much for your cause that they are wrong for choosing a candidate who's going to preserve their rights in their own country, then I'm sorry to tell you this, but you are being both ungrateful and disingenuous.

[END TRANSCRIPT]

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

guy who so desperately tries to find god. who wants to have faith in a higher authority to guide him out of the hole he's in. from the weight of guilt from simply existing, as the person he is. but every time he thinks he's answered his higher calling it turns out he's made the Morally Incorrect choice and his path to goodness and holiness was the road to the devil all along

[casualavocados]

How's that possible? Since when did you start eating spicy food? I told you I'd do it for real next time. ...Don't touch me, or—I'll kill you!

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 12

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

This fandom has a disturbing sense of entitlement when it comes to GRRM and his remaining two books. There’s this horrifying lack of empathy towards this man and it’s genuinely scary. People expect him to be like one of those elves from Harry Potter: he just has to turn his magic on and churn out brand new content, who gives a fuck what is going on in his life? Let me remind the audience that this is a guy in his 70s! Yes, he’s rich. But age and its complications bow to nothing. Not to mention that even if his age wasn’t a factor, he could still be dealing with a lot of mental distress that ANY human would? Do you know how deranged you have to be to say that he cannot be affected by losing a close friend? That he, and his writing, cannot be affected by the state of the world? This is a man whose core thesis statement in his work is, “I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples and bastards and broken things”. One of the core protagonists in this series has dedicated her entire arc to fighting institutional slavery. One another protagonist has spent five books unlearning bigotry and trying to reform institutions that operate on it. ASOIAF fictionalizes real world issues. And to get there, GRRM has to take note of it and then make commentary on it. Like do people listen to themselves??? What is wrong with this fandom dear god…

[prettyboyarts]

sometimes i get really sad thinking about mia and how short her life got cut. like. she was 27 but still had so much ahead of her. she was going to avenge and find her mom and her boyfriend was comatose and she waited every single day for him to wake up because she loved him and she still had maya and pearl to care for and protect from their aunt and she had phoenix to watch grow and develop as a lawyer. and all of that was taken away because some corrupt capitalist with horrible fashion sense didn’t want his reputation ruined.

[royalarchivist]

Pac: This image gave me depression. This image here. This image here gave me–

Pac: ...Mitw at the very end? Hey, who made this caption? Who made this caption?! Nonononononono– Damn, Mitw, I had forgotten about that. Mitw out of nowhere at the very end. Guys, I didn't remember that! No, I don't remember that. No, I don't remember that in the caption. Damn guys, it's so fast at the end.

[anetherealpoetess]

obsessed with sauron transforming into halbrand, celebrimbor, and even daring to take on the likeness of galadriel herself. each transformation is an erotic display of his dark powers. he’s preening like a malevolent peacock just for her, desperate for galadriel to see how powerful he is in his pursuit of domination over all. desperate to impress her. yeah, he wants her so bad.