#god that’s so sad to think about
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sometimes i get really sad thinking about mia and how short her life got cut. like. she was 27 but still had so much ahead of her. she was going to avenge and find her mom and her boyfriend was comatose and she waited every single day for him to wake up because she loved him and she still had maya and pearl to care for and protect from their aunt and she had phoenix to watch grow and develop as a lawyer. and all of that was taken away because some corrupt capitalist with horrible fashion sense didn’t want his reputation ruined.
#anyways. beautiful days by koalamode makes me sob anytime i listen to it.#bc it makes me think of mia and diego#and yeah diego kinda sucks#bc he’s a grown ass man who seeks revenge like a child and he’s also misogynistic#but he did love mia#and he was absolutely crushed when he woke up and no one was there waiting for him#god that’s so sad to think about#miego gets me everytime man#ace attorney#mia fey#diego armando#miego#maya fey#pearl fey#morgan fey#phoenix wright#not tagging white bc he doesn’t deserve the attention
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I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.
Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.
Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.
Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.
I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.
He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).
First, we get this:
Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.
They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.
It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.
We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.
What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?
He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.
In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.
Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!
...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.
Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.
And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.
I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.
And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.
Meals are the privilege of the living.
#Dungeon Meshi#Delicious in Dungeon#Kabru#Kabru of Utaya#Laios Touden#Dungeon Meshi meta#you can have him in the tags too. as a treat.#Dungeon Meshi spoilers#this was directly inspired by livelaughlaios's post about Kabru self harming but I decided it got too long to make it a direct reply#this is a theory I've been working on for weeks because I kept noticing this while skimming for screencaps#I'm hesitant to trigger tag this because of the way certain subcultures on tumblr operate#but if anyone needs me to add a content warning please let me know#also I included image descriptions! I did my best#I think they even help illustrate my points but my god were they sad to write. Kabru is so fucking sad you guys#musings with Dea
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still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)
anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#calling dibs on skeleton kisses as the name of my band#man scully is just a delightful little weirdo and i'm enjoying him immensely#(i'm going with scully until we get something official just because it makes me think of x-files)#(スカリー is also how the agent's name is transliterated and i don't know if it was intentional but i love it as a bonus reference)#(i want to believe™)#gosh though#'no one at school likes me because i won't shut up about halloween and jack skellington' i'm feeling VERY attacked right now twst#look scully your people are out there#just get on the forums and -- oh wait you're probably from like the 1800s or something#(my theory is that he's from the past and there's just some Book Magic going on to bring us together)#(LOOK they made a point of saying that the book fair has been held annually for a super long time)#a hot topic goth born before hot topic was invented...so sad 😔#i dunno i could be wrong but that feels like a good working theory for now#if it wasn't for mal sensing twsty ~magic~ on him i would think he's like. a christmas elf who's going to kidnap jack in a reverse-nmbc#(not ruling that out though because it would be amazing)#god all the sprites in this event look AMAZING. loving the desaturated colors and the extra drawn-on lines 😍#i'm genuinely kinda sad that we aren't gonna get to see every character like this#who knows...maybe halloweentown will be imperiled again next year...#come back and destroy my keys again please#(that said i'm doing weirdly well so far?)#(i promised i'd save for sebek and just do cursory pulls to get the SRs and not hope for the SSRs)#(...but then leona jumpscared me four coffins in anyway. halloween magic is REAL)
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the thing about disco elysium is that it has women in it. what you see on the internet about it might lie to you about that but it has women, gay women even, very compelling women even, in it.
#Directive: THINK ABOUT RUBY THE INSTIGATOR!!!!!!#What was it rave said. This basic concern dooms her!!!!! She’s so good. She’s SO good#Rubyklaasje is literally crucial to the plot happenings and yet there are only like two dozen people who talk about them. Sad. Shut up about#that other guy please stop putting him in bunny suits.#Also thinking about cunoesse. My god cunoesse.#Cindy the skull. Liz!!! Who only shows up for a little but she is so cool. Lilienne i need to replay to go on the date to learn more about#her. Soona she’s so real… Joyce is so much so so so much. And dora and dolores of course.#esha.txt#disco elysium#Seriously.#Klaasje i literally forgot to talk about klaasje I love you problem girl
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 5: Flip Slip.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mdzs au#Yungmang Jiang Training Arc AU#lan wangji#wei wuxian#digital art#Trying out some digital techniques to see if I can get closer to feel/style of my traditional comics.#So far the biggest difference is *colouring* Digital colouring feels...not good. I have complained about this before and I'll complain agai#Before we get into the sad stuff with Yungmeng Jiang in the PD-MDZS comics lets have some lighthearted fun!#Remember that if anything bad happens to these Jiang disciples in the canon comic - they are happy in this AU B'*)#I think one of the funniest things about the teenxian dynamic is how WWX accidently finds things that get LWJ to feel flustered.#My guy wwx goes 'I'm going to lightly bully/tease this nerd 'cause his reactions are funny.' and LWJ goes “My god. He's everything to me.”#Part two of the fun part of this dynamic is that LWJ is ever so lightly self aware enough to LOATHE THIS CRUSH.#Hence why I have been marinating on this 'Accidental Lan headband miscommunication' concept.#This is how LWJ assumes that WWX knows what the band means in this AU. This will be relevant later.#And YES! I am still going to be making comics for this AU. I have so many ideas I simply can't hold onto forever.
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to my IRL(s) who keeps sending me disco elysium memes despite the fact i haven't played it in months THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU. HELP ME. If people have ideas on this AU feel free to have fun with it considering I. have only a few!
#zombiecleo#ethoslab#hermitcraft#scopophobia cw#hermitcraft AU#tag ramble time!#don't. worry about the text. yes it's trying to imply that etho can see us and break the fourth wall Don't Worry About It#this AU really was 'i wanna draw hermits in DE outfits who's pathetic and sad enough to b– yeah it's etho.'#'that makes cleo Kim then. I think they'd make it work' and that was it#in my heart it's also an AT so they're working a different case somewhere else in universe. mostly because i don't think them and-#-cuno/cunoesse should exist at the same time.. etho can have a drug addiction but cleo is NOT getting called a faggot /lh#Cleo getting written as 'just cleo' in text is kinda silly i enjoy it. hopefully that wasn't used in the actual game and i forgot about it#art out the oven#art wise this was really fun i locked myself in values jail but the colours turned out reasonable anyway which is always nice#yes cleo has gauges and an undercut <3#[scheduled]#EDIT: oh god. i have to add a tag for this AU#Disco Hermits AU
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Larry being an incredibly talented artist is the funniest gag in the Ace Attorney series. Every time he shows up, Phoenix and Edgeworth always make snide remarks about his art, but it's always really good.
Like from case one of the first game, Larry clearly had mad sculpting ability when he made the thinker clock. He's a good enough actor to play the Steel Samurai at an international display of goodwill. He was able to perfectly paint a variety of scenes he would only have seen for a few seconds across multiple games.
But he's always getting clowned on by the rest of the cast because he's such a pathetic cringefail in every other aspect of his life.
#Larry is like... what if Inigo fire emblem was an ace attorney character#A sad wet cat who's really good at art but is still constantly getting clowned on by his childhood friends#Edgeworth yelling “I will never acknowledge you as the Steel Samurai!”#while doing his pointing animation and a.dramtic sound effect plays#god it's so fucking funny#ace attorney#Larry Buttz#O think I should yell about aa more
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rut was really good im such a sucker for anything that just wants to be uplifting and genuine. so, here is them :3
#brightheart#cloudtail#warrior cats#art#i wanted to draw the designs they used for the map but i cant find official ref sheets anywhere wahhjksdf#god whenever anyone makes a video w these two it never fails to make me cry.#swiftpaw too T-T#ALSO IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THE LIONBLAZE ANSWERS YOU GUYS SENT#I WANTED TO ANSWER W DRAWINGS BUT CAUGHT UP W ART FIGHT AND I JUST. got burnt out w drawing lion#i think#which is a... problem that you can imagine#. how sad i am about
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IM NOT GONNA CRY IM NOT GONNA CRY IM NOT GONNA CRY IM NOT GONNA CRY IM NOT GONNA CRY IM NOT GONNA CRY IM NOT GONNA CRY IM NOT GONNA CRY IM NOT-
#ladies and gentlemen I give you my favourite moment in the iliad#hands down no questions asked#it’s just so human#this is a story about war and destiny and gods and heroes and glory etc etc#and here we just get to see a moment of a man with his son and wife#hector and andromache laugh at astyanax’s reaction#Hector takes his helmet off so he can cuddle his son#knowing that this may be his last time to do so#fuck#FUCKK#when astyanax is described as beautiful as a bright star#if I think about hector and his family for too long I get so so sad#I love them I really do#they deserved so much better#hector of troy#andromache of troy#astyanax#scamandrius#the iliad#the trojan war#tagamemnon
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i truly fucking cannot get over the image of brennan lee mulligan using the dozens of small screens surrounding him and his friends while they play dnd to play the video of him five years ago saying something integral to the campaign that they all completely missed. just the shit eating grin on his face surrounded by his own handiwork.
#can't stop thinking about that reveal#was it planned for the nightmare king arc and has been retrofitted for ankarna or has brennan been planning this the whole time???#I hope it was the former because he must have been so sad that that thread got lost in all the fhsy lore because he KNEW emily would lose it#god. this season is so fucking good.#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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After Angband, Maedhros had a complicated relationship with his hair for a long while. The thing he once used to cherish and carry with pride, inherited from the mother he had left behind, was now tainted with memories of unwanted attention and derogatory touch.
After his rescue, it had to be cut short for the sake of his recovery, and he could never quite figure out whether he was more hurt or relieved by the act. It was Fingon, during those times filled with anxiety and doubt and shame, who helped him learn to accept his own appearance again– from the stump of his right arm and the scars littered across his freckled body to the locks of copper hair, ever so slowly regrowing to their former glory.
And little by little, the lingering memories of malevolent hands harshly yanking at his scalp were replaced by the feeling of tender hands carefully braiding familiar golden ribbons into his hair, once again beloved.
#so basically#they are in love and i love them very much#just don't think about how during the peaceful days of valinor they used to spend days just sitting around and braiding each other's hair#and after his rescue maedhros could never do that again#or maybe curufin–#after seeing his brother moping around all day sad because he could no longer braid his bf's hair#–engineered his a prosthetic hand to help him do just that#who knows not me#fun fact i spent all day yesterday drawing this-- no literally i didn't do anything else please send help#the silmarillion#silmarillion#maedhros#nelyafinwe#maitimo#russandol#fingon#findekano#russingon#why do they have to have so many names my god#maedhros x fingon#fingon x maedhros#silmarillion fanart#russingon fanart#maedhros fanart#fingon fanart#idk what to tag here i'm gonna be honest#art#my art
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themthemthemthemthemthemthem-
#more of those lil requests i asked for a bit ago#the christmas one was so so fun i was delighted to finally draw ms. beagle being a total wingman for her son#and i got to draw howdy in a turtleneck again which is. one of my favorite things#i imagine that ms beagle will spend the whole evening trying to get howdy & barn under the mistletoe at the same time#oh my fucking god that would make a cute fic. adding a new section to my Thinkings doc#yes wally will be passed the fuck out in the corner after drinking too much spiked eggnog#jk he doesnt sleep#anyway hggggasncjasnclkask theyre soooooooooo ehehehehe yeah....#i love drawing them Cozy so ty person for the excuse#love drawing characters comfy in bed together... i can live through them...#scribble salad#laughingstock#barnaby x howdy#howdy x barnaby#sometimes im sad. then i think about Them in a domestic setting and im cured
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mama brando it’s criminal Araki never gave you a name
#jjba fanart#jojo fanart#jojos bizarre adventure#sbr#steel ball run#jjba#diego brando#mama brando#diego brando mom#diego brando mother#Diego’s mom#it makes me so sad to know she n I are the same age like ohhhhhhh my god#she was robbed#my heart breaks every time I think about her
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There's a disabled angel in good omens 🥺
#listen im only in episode two and i know there's some drama going down but im focusing on this lol#i love that not only do they show the angel using a wheelchair and being ambulatory#but they also visibly show them miracling innaccessibility issues so that they Can still use the chair#instead of just getting rid of the disability#part of my is conflicted bc im like... there's disabilities in heaven? and that makes Me sad bc my disability is hell and painful as fuck#But getting rid of disability in fantasy is eugenist crap and showing that god made a disabled angel is a net good thing#while it personally makes me sad to think if there was a heaven i could still be in pain all the time#not all disabilites are bad and need to be cured we're a wide spectrum and we've been fighting for disabled rep esp in fantasy for ages#it's objectively good my personal feelings about my own disability aside#part of me thinks it's cliche to say 'you were made perfect' bc they're an angel But it's not we literally havent had this type of rep lol#anyways it made me happy to see#and im so glad it's a power chair user that's ambulatory it's important for abled ppl to see that#anyways y'all keep your drama and spoilers off my post im not far in and im only talking about this shoo#oh also!! love the fantasy hover chair they use in heaven specifically too i wish we had that it kicks ass#p
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Thinking about Mass Effect, as you do, and how I'm kind of sad that the way it's been engraved in pop culture has more to do with the way internet reacted to it at the time than what the actual game is about. Yes sure, it's about romance (and not that much all things considered) and it's pulpy (but not solely because of hot lady aliens), but it's also intricate worldbuilding that touches on a lot of sharp ideas, and a complicated tug-of-war between a genuine and vulnerable belief in reconciliation and community VS post 9-11 US military propaganda and steadfast belief in heroic exceptionalism, and the melancholic yet energizing mood, and the daring narrative systems, and so so much more than the 'We'll Bang OKs" and the "There's No Shepard Without Vakarian" and the whole ME3 ending situation
It's all there, but I'm sad the impact of the series is often reduced to (what I think is) the least interesting parts of its sum
#mass effect#mass effect meta#and what I'm the MOST sad about#is how bioware internalized a lot of that I think#I think Mass Effect 3 and especially the Citadel DLC suffered from trying to pull itself in the shape of what the fandom expected#it's why I'm so ambivalent about Mordin's seashell bit --which I do find kinda cheap in its attempt at being an obvious crowdpleaser#and it's why a lot of the Citadel DLC jokes don't land as well as they could have for me#AND why I didn't react that well to Andromeda either#which to me forgot a lot of its strong worldbuilding foundations and sincerity#and ended up feeling so very... “liberal” to me --if you can forgive my semi-judgmental wording#as in: gestures at inclusion and would do pronoun rounds probably but will never lift a finger to criticize actual systems of power#it's “nicer” and people are more fun but the colonialist project is never sincerely questioned by the narrative#elon musk-like “genuises” are given a god-like aura#species become mostly tired and watered-down versions of their archetypes...#I don't know. I'm sure a lot of people will disagree but yeah I was thinking about this today
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