#seeing 'avatar day' again reminded me i had this in the drafts

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

something that makes sokka extremely adhd relatable is that he's constantly looking for his Thing, the one Thing he's good at or useful for that makes up for any failings or flaws or ways he just can't measure up to others. at the beginning of the show he defines himself by being the oldest boy in the village & best warrior, but then he gets his ass kicked by zuko and suki and sees aang's raw power and he can't exactly think fighting is his special skill anymore. but he still thinks he has to be defined by fighting ('man of the house' daddy issues) so he calls himself the guy with the boomerang bc that's turned out to be his most useful and versatile and unique weapon, the one that other people can't outclass him at (after all, it's his most successful attack in his fight with zuko). when he loses it in "avatar day" he explicitly says it's like losing a key part of his identity and the moment katara goes "hey you're good at solving mysteries" he's like "yeah! i'm a detective! that's my new thing! and gets a new set of objects to signify it ("i believe in the power of stuff"). but detective sokka doesn't last bc throughout the entire episode he and katara are pretty equally matched in detective skills and he gets his boomerang back anyway. failed experiment.

and throughout all of this, he's figured out that people find his insistance on getting them fed & his grumpy comments funny and so he begins defining himself as the meat and sarcasm guy, and when he's a tough spot in "bitter work", bargaining with the universe to get him help, he offers that up as all he's got to give. it's obviously a Joke that he immediately asks for meat after telling the universe he'll give it up but it's also pretty indicative of how much he clings to these identities. it's all he's got (he thinks), of COURSE he can't actually give it up. they stuck that boy in a hole for 22 minutes and it revealed so much about how he sees himself.

at some point (likely around "the library" when he takes initiative to come up with a fire nation invasion plan) he also becomes the plan guy, the idea guy, and the gaang find themselves looking to him for leadership. this is perhaps the closest to fully encompassing sokka that any of his "[blank] guy" labels get, since coming up with plans involves planning when and how to fight (boomerang guy) & how to get everyone fed (meat), and people not following his plans is a major source of frustration (sarcasm).

this all culminates in "sokka's master", where the show finally names the underlying insecurity driving this quest - that he's a nonbender. katara being the last waterbender meant she was in danger and that keeping her safe was top priority, and even though hakoda and kya wouldn't have played favorites sokka probably felt a little like the unfavorite child for not being special like her. he lacks an ability, and believes his life has less value bc of it. almost like somebody with a disability and internalized ableism

(interesting, one of the people who most consistently mocks sokka for being a nonbender is toph, early on. toph has a lot of internalized ableism herself, a fear of vulnerability bc she doesn't want to perceived as weak like her parents thought she was. her bending is her disability aid, the thing that allows her to be stronger than people think, so she dismisses a nonbender until she learns better.)

piandao's response to sokka's lack of self-worth is not to train him to be great at one thing, but to introduce him to a variety of different arts, show him that his value lies not in having any one skill but in his capacity to learn and grow. there's no single thing that makes him worthy. it isn't even the combination of all of them that makes him worthy. he simply is worthy.

and i don't know if this is a unique narrative in fiction or anything but it really means a lot to me that sokka doesn't have One Thing that "makes up" for him not being a bender. he's of course extremely skilled and prodigious at many things he does in the show but there's no one savant talent that "justifies" him being in the group and i feel like so many disability narratives - especially for kids - go that route and i really appreciate that atla doesn't and simply says people are valuable because they are valuable, not because of their special abilities

[azulasmommyissues]

ATLA sexuality headcanons, part 2, Roku's era:

due to the limited information regarding this era, i might just be spouting bullshit. but! it's mY bullshit.

roku

-bisexual, male lean

-he mainly dated men when he was younger because he was trash at talking to women, but after mastering the avatar state he actually started seeing women (because raava is a lesbian)

-he is the master of homoerotic friendships, i tell you. sozin? gyatso? sud? no heterosexual explanation for any of them

-with sozin, roku was oblivious as fuck. he loved him, but he could never pinpoint exactly how. there were many moments of unresolved sexual tension.

-he fell in love with ta-min because she's absolutely raava's type

-but literally wore sozin's crown until the end of hid life and keeps it in his spirit form despite everything??? roku, please.

sozin

-he is gay but he's also awful

-contrary to all I've written until now, these things CAN co-exist

-being the golden child, a direct azula parallel, and also obsessed with roku?

-the fire nation law allowing married couples to legally annul their married was drafted and ratified by firelord sozin at around 44BG on the eve of avatar roku's wedding

-and gay marriage was made illegal after roku died.

-and he banned dancing in his oldest bitterest years of being alive because roku liked dancing, “sozin, It's my wedding! have a cookie! dance with someone!” (he didn't)

-he basically proposed to roku with his crown bfr

-i imagine that he was the one to kill gyatso. personally.

zeisan

-absolute lesbian

-in the avatar universe the lesbian masterdoc is a philosophical text that she herself wrote

-SO sick of sozin's imperialist, fascist bullshit. girl same. be gay study philosophy.

-she canonically bore no romantic love for khandro and he bore no such feelings for her either. the marriage was strictly political and based on mutual respect.

-rioshon, on the other hand? the love of zeisan's LIFE fr fr

ta min

-you've got no idea how much I'm looking forward to getting to know her when roku's book comes out. she seems nice. the roku episode barely gives her any attention, though. she's definitely raava's type that's for sure-- not a coincidence roku wifed her up AFTER mastering the avatar state, raava had been WAITING

-the vibes are relatively heterosexual

-girl was BEEFING with sozin

-"may i borrow your husband for a moment" if i were ta min and that was my wedding day idc if he was the firelord he would have gotten his ass beat (/j) so she's definitely a better person than me

-I'm a big fun of the theory that each avatar has the face of their past life's true love and aang looks a LOT like her so i think her and roku are sweet

gyatso

-gay bitch

-i don't know i just genuinely can't imagine him with a woman,,

-he had feelings for roku which weren't reciprocated and a nice old homoerotic friendship. his difference with sozin is that he didn't commit genocide and he DIDN'T leave roku to die in a volcanic eruption

-he loved roku enough to settle for being his friend if it meant he'd be happy

-he would have protected aang with his life, he was like a son to him,,, and he reminded him so much of his best friend

-after gyatso caused so much damage to the fire nation troops, sozin came to kill him himself. and god was it personal.

sud

-bisexual

-another homoerotic roku friendship

-roku you slutty slutty old man

-sud was roku's bi awakening, in fact. obviously sozin was the first one he loved but he couldn't explain it or understand it back then. he was old enough when he met sud to figure it out.

-him snd roku had tea dates after training, come on now

-they were friends first and foremost, though, lifelong friends.

taqukaq

-bisexual but never realises. I have to imagine he's at least somewhat conservative since he's from the northern water tribe and all—at least at first.

-then again, he was very spiritual and soft-spoken since his childhood. he travelled the world as a diplomat and saw many different walks of life

-he was perhaps in love with his good friend nai, and that's why his betrayal shook him to his core and gave him such terrible trust issues

rioshon

-lesbian

-also asexual

-perhaps she also fought sozin during the comet.

-maybe it was more personal for her than it was for him.

-she mourns the life she could have had with zeisan, if only she'd spoken out. if only she'd been honest with her feelings. damn the consequences! sozin won anyways. they wasted their lives and their love for nothing.

khandro

-aromantic and asexual

-bro finds rioshon captivating and respects the grind

_____________________________________________

now... nyanchi, boin, ezra, zeebee, bo, chegu, ema, sherab, and norbu, etc, who all appear in avatar legends as regenerated characters—i actually don't know what to say about them. they barely feel like characters-and they're not really that connected to roku. i just want this era to get fleshed out like kyoshi's and yangchen's! like their novels were so good. I'm more excited to find out more about the past avatars than to get new avatars, honestly, but that might just be me.

[somestuffbysomebird]

He's absolutely smitten, he'll never let you go - Asmodeus

Inspired by: Absolutely Smitten -- Dodie

(A/N: This was from 2021, and was sitting in my drafts, it's old but completed soooooooo yea!)

Summary: You like someone, but you have no idea how they feel about you, so using your brilliant deduction skills, you attempt to figure it out. (Too bad you kept missing the signals till they're right in your face.)

Aka: That one time the human tried to find out if a demon liked them

Tag(s): Fluff, that one scene from Given popped into my head halfway through writing this and I ran with it, Asmo seeing a chance and just gunning for it

---

Asmodeus

It's not like you doubt Asmo doesn't like you, that'd be obvious.

You just don't think he's held you in any special regard compared to his fans.

I mean, look at him, he's always surrounded by lesser demons, and most of them have probably spent longer than you chasing him, maybe there's even someone out there that's his type you know?

How could a human even compete with that?

But there's no time start like the present right? You're not backing down from a fight, especially not this one.

Lucky for you, a talent show is coming up, and the prize just so happens to be 2 tickets for a 3-day paid trip to a hotel resort.

This was your chance, all you need is to win those tickets, and get Asmo to go with you.

Mission: Capture Asmo's heart, begin!

With a determined heart in place, you first need to capture your first objective: Asmo's cooperation

Sure, you could go and participate in this competition yourself, surprising Asmo with the tickets, but this is a competition where one can show themselves off, now wouldn't that be something right up the Avatar of Lust's alley?

You're about to invite Asmodeus to participate, and, as it turns out, he's already signed up for it, and he wants you to help him out!

How could you say no?

As you two prepare for the competition, he plans out many different ways to perform, from singing to dancing, to even thinking about having a one man beauty pageant (again).

At that point you should remind him that the time limit per participant isn't enough for a runaway show, so he opts for singing instead.

You decide to help him with the music production and practice on the guitar, although he insisted on keeping the lyrics a secret from you.

You don't notice the subtle glances he gives you, and the way the mood of his performance lit up whenever you were around, regardless of the presence of anyone else.

To be honest, you were so wrapped up in the competition you didn't pay much attention to how he stares at you while you concentrate, the way he gravitates instantly to you, away from whatever he was doing before, whenever you step into the room.

During a certain afternoon, as you both were taking a break, Asmo glanced at you and smiled.

"Hey MC, when it's my time to perform, just keep your eyes only on me, okay?"

At was the start of his performance, the hall was swammed with lesser demons cheering for him, but his eyes were scanning the crowds for your face.

He didn't mind being the centre of attention at all, but the longing in his heart desired only your attention.

When his eyes finally met yours, he felt his heart soar, and as the strings of the guitar were strung, he finally started his serenade...

It was only after the entire performance, as you were swallowed by a waving, roaring (and crying) crowd, you realised something.

Thoughtout the entire performance, Asmo's gaze had never left yours.

You head backstage to congratulate him, and you see him seating down, panting and holding a bottle of water, the high from performing still settling in.

As you approach him, a congratulations ready, he launches himself towards you-!

"MC! How'd you like it? I wrote it with you in mind!"

Asmo is nuzzling his cheek in the crook of your neck, looking up at you again, you can see a hint of fatigue in his eyes, beads of pespiration still glistening from his forehead. His smile wide and wide eyes reflecting the white ceiling lights.

You didn't see the incoming peck until it hit you quite literally in the face. On your cheek. With his lips.

"Hmm~ Sorry, you just looked so cute, I just couldn't resist~"

Well, the way this is going, seems like the tickets are just a bonus now.

You aren't going to let him get away with that, right?

[writingfics-passingtime]

Directors cut about Outlaw please! My favorite story on this app, whatever you can say about it, about Razor, about her relationship with Marc, about what the future could hold for both of them, whatever you may want to add! ❤️🙏🏻

Anon, I had COMPLETELY forgotten what I’d left on the cutting room floor with this fic and I’m so glad you reminded me. Thank you!!

Outlaw was almost very different than it was; it was almost a plot twist reader x Jake Lockley.

The motel scene was going to end with Marc coming out of the bathroom and Razor holding a gun on him. He’d be like, “what the fuck” and she’d be like, “get on your knees.”

He follows her instructions, she’s upset and nervous, he assumes she’s just going to try to get information from him about what had happened the night before. THEN. She has tears in her eyes and says, “I’m sorry Chicago. I just really need to see him again.” And she presses the gun against his forehead and BOOM. Jake appears to stop the threat.

Then I’d reveal that on one of their previous jobs she was massively in danger and Jake had stepped in to save her because Marc was being too pragmatic and was going to leave her behind. I’d reveal she’d known about Marc’s mental health for a while. She hadn’t known about the Steven altar. And this story was set just before the series so Steven didn’t know about Marc and Marc didn’t know about Jake.

Then it was going to be Jake telling her she’s an idiot for going to such lengths to see him again but he’s also enamoured with her recklessness… but I couldn’t quite figure out where to go from here and that’s part of the reason I thought this plot may not work.

a few other reasons I didn’t do this:

I really wanted a Marc fic where it could be about him alone

I’ve gone down a different route of characterisation with Jake in Finishing the Job (and the subsequent fics in my drafts) and I far prefer portraying Jake as hardened because of pain than someone a little bit wild.

The conversation in the bar between Marc and Razor was the idea that blossomed the fic. The concept of being an outlaw - of someone who the law did not protect - is fascinating to me. If it had turned out that Marc had indeed left Razor behind then that conversation would take on a different meaning. It was important that Marc came for her. Not Jake.

On a final note: Marc was right. Razor would absolutely agree to be Khonshu’s avatar.

Thank you sm for this fun director’s cut question and for your lovely encouragement! I hadn’t thought about this fic in a while and this was so fun 🥹 hearing that Outlaw is your favourite story on this app has made my day 💜

[authorjoydragon]

Here is my Azulaang Day Two: Parenthood prompt submission. Yesterday’s was fluffy so today I give you angst. @azulaang-week-2021

My collection is here if you’d rather read on ao3! Leave me a lovely comment pls 💛

For @writebecauseyoucannotbreathe and @jp681099 This is the prompt that has been sitting in my drafts for… an undisclosed amount of time.

It’s sad. My b.

82- "You look just like your mom/dad." Azulaang

Aang watched as his daughter went through her fire bending forms with ease. She took to fire like a fish to water.

Her movements were graceful and elegant, and her golden eyes seemed to flash with glee the whole time.

It reminded him of someone…

“You look just like your mother.” He spoke softly, almost as if only speaking to himself.

But Oraya heard.

She turned in her tracks, forgetting the bending routine altogether. Baba didn’t speak about her mother very often.

“I do?”

He smiled sadly at her and nodded.

The eleven-year-old girl shuffled closer to her father. “Will you… tell me about her?”

She had gone through logs and scrolls about her mother’s accomplishments in life— but she still just seemed like a stranger on a page.

Aang sighed and beckoned her closer. Oraya sat next to him, tilting her head into his shoulder.

“Your mother… was amazing. She had a horrible sense of humor, and she was probably the most awkward person I’ve ever met.” Aang snorted, memories fumbling through his mind that Oraya wished she could see.

He teased, “She was an extremely picky eater, too. That’s where you get it from.” Oraya giggled as he lightly tickled her side.

“She… was loyal. To a fault.” Aang’s eyes seemed to glaze over. She knew he was thinking of how her mother died.

It was no secret. ‘Tragedy befalls the Avatar’s family’ was the top headline for a while. Oraya had read the old papers. She knew that her mother had died protecting them. She defeated the Red Lotus terrorist group single-handedly, but at the cost of her and her unborn child’s lives.

The Avatar had woken up from his unconsciousness with no wife or incoming son. Just little Oraya, only two at the time.

Oraya knew her life would be so different now, if only a slight change in circumstances had happened that fateful day. Then…she would know her mother. She would have a little brother— maybe even more siblings.

Aang sighed again, drawing Oraya from her longing thoughts. “Your mother was clever, and beautiful, and strong. You are very much like her, Oraya.”

She smiled despite the heavy sadness in her chest. “Thank you, Baba.”

Oraya hoped that she could live up to her mother’s memory.

[obeymebabes]

A Surprise Adventure (Levi x MC)

A/N: Happy Birthday to the well known shy otaku snakey fish boy of Devildom! While he may not be my favorite, he is certainly a cutie. May his birthday be a pleasant one.

Warnings: None, just a happy otaku boy on an adventure.

Summary: Leviathan’s big day has arrived, and he has been transported into a "simulation". With the help of MC, he must gain a special item to gift to the evil prince who has taken his brothers captive! The adventure awaits!

~

“Levi? Helloooo? Wake up! Your adventure is awaiting!” You nudged the Avatar of Envy, trying to wake him from whatever dream he was having.

He stirred, groaning a bit, but after shaking him just a bit more, you could see his eyes flutter open.

Seeing your familiar figure standing over him in the comfort of his bed-tub he smiled a little, a blush forming rather rapidly on his cheeks. You watched as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Leviathan! Finally you are awake. It is urgent! You must hurry!” Tugging on his arm, you ripped him from the comfort of his warm blanket and Ruri body pillow, earning a soft yell from him as he stumbled to follow you.

“MC? What is going on? What happened? Is everything okay?” Panic quickly waved over him. He had no idea what was happening. Perfect. It seems your plan is working so far.

“Admiral you must see this! It is your brothers! It appears that your brothers have been taken captive by the evil Lord of Devildom, and he is challenging YOU to get them back!” Acting as dramatic as you can, you pointed to a video conveniently pulled up on his computer. 

“W-What!? Admiral? What is this? Is that.. Is that Lord Diavolo?” His eyes narrowed as he tried to process everything in his head. Clicking play on the video, he watched closely. 

The video showed a rather menacing looking Lord Diavolo, and behind him, the six brothers, shackled in very real looking chains, calling out for help from their rescuer.

“If you wish to see your brothers again, I request that you bring me a gift in exchange for them. It must not be any gift, you see. It must be special. A once in a lifetime item that will be impossible to replicate. Bring it to me and you will set your precious family free. I hope to see you soon, Grand Admiral Leviathan.” Lord Diavolo smirked with a wicked grin just before the camera cut out.

The wheels in Levi’s brain were spinning rapidly. Confusion was all over his face.

“Of course! I know what this is! This must be the new game that I pre-ordered. I never thought it would be so realistic.” He was babbling to himself, forgetting that you were still very much in the room with him.

Trying to regain his focus, you were quick to get back into character. “Grand Admiral? What are we to do about this? What could he possibly want as a gift?” 

Levi looked around, trying to figure out a possible solution. “I have plenty of limited edition items, this should be easy!” His voice was filled with confidence, as he went to look through his various Ruri-Chan items that were no longer in the place he remembered. A quick and easy vanishing spell granted by Solomon was much more effective than you imagined.

He frantically looked around his room, creating a mess of his once somewhat neat space. “Where are they!?” His voice was faltering, more panic setting in.

“Where is what?” You asked, confused, but calm, trying to keep up the false facade of being an ordinary game character of sorts. When he didn’t reply, you walked over and gently put a hand on his shoulder. “Admiral?” 

“I could have sworn they were all here! All of my limited edition Ruri-Chan items! They’re gone! Does this mean that I missed something? Are there any other clues from that video? What could Lord Diavolo possibly be asking for if I don’t have it?” Levi paced around the room, going back to his computer to check every detail. 

“Perhaps we can head to a local shop to see if there is anything of such a high value?” Trying to steer him onto the right track, you tried to bargain with him. The light in his eyes shined as he smiled excitedly. You could tell how excited he was to go on an adventure.

“That’s perfect! Yes! Let’s go! We can’t waste any time!” Grabbing your arm, he was quick to try to pull you from the room but you stopped him just before he was able to go out.

“Grand Admiral, I believe you need to change. You can’t possibly go out looking like this. Your uniform is pressed and awaiting you in the closet. I will be waiting just outside the door for you. Please do hurry.” With a smile, you headed out of his room, patiently waiting for Levi to return in his special outfit.

While waiting for him, you quickly and sneakily texted the group chat to let everyone know your current situation, and that the plan was indeed working. Mammon was the first to reply, saying that it was unbelievable that he was even buying it, and that he was gullible, which led to an argument about Mammon. But time was ticking, and he seemed eager. So you simply texted “everyone be ready” and made sure to tuck your temporary phone away.

Another minute passed and Levi finally hyped himself up enough to walk through the door. Dressed in a customized admiral outfit, you could see the glow of confidence radiating off of him. He was standing a little taller, with a more sophisticated smile. He didn’t look like the normal every day otaku that his brothers always made fun of. This was a different Levi. A confident Levi.

“Let’s go. We can’t waste any time. I can’t let anything happen to my brothers.” He ushered you to follow him, leading you both out of the door where a ride was waiting to take you to the Devildom Shoppes.

Upon your arrival, everything seemed normal, there were people all around, walking around, looking at items, just another normal day in Devildom. That was until Levi began to make his way through the crowd, with you following a close pursuit behind him. The crowd parted for him, allowing him to pass with ease, bowing slightly in his presence, just as they would for a well known and well praised admiral.

You could even hear faint whispering about him. All good things to feed into Leviathan’s confidence, should he be listening. He deserves it, after all.

Looking back and holding the door for you, he waited for you to enter the store with him. Upon entering, you could see all of the various rare collectible items. The store had everything Levi could dream of, all of the items he had thought he owned just a bit ago back in his room. Quickly, he started looking around, seeing as he was familiar with the items.

Following close behind, you made eye contact with the person on the other side of the shelf that Levi was currently looking through.

“What do you think of this?” The Avatar of Envy held up a rare figurine. “Do you think this would be enough to get my brothers back? It is a one of a kind misprinted figure.” Seeing the slight frustration in his eyes, you shook your head.

“It has to be super special. Something that cannot be replicated.” You reminded him, cueing the other person in the store to make his move.

“You are looking for something special hm?” A voice spoke, causing Levi to look up.

“Solomon?” He asked under his breath, hoping the white haired familiar didn’t pick up on it.

“I may have something that could be of interest.” The shady wizard smirked, looking around to make sure they were alone.

Levi was interested, waiting to see what Solomon had. Carefully, the sorcerer pulled a shimmering, glowing book from a magical inside pocket of his coat. The otaku’s eyes lit up, immediately recognizing the item of interest.

“What?! Is that the first ever draft of TSL? Hand-written and signed by the author!?” Levi could hardly contain his excitement. He was nearly squealing like a nerd at the sight of such a beloved item that he had never pictured being so close to. He reached to hold it.

“Indeed it is.” Solomon’s pulled the book away right before Levi’s hand touched it. “Ah, are you sure this is something you are looking for, however? It is my prized possession and I would hate to let it go to the wrong hands.” The wizard’s words were meant to be condescending, but with the confidence Levi had gained over the last hour or so, along with his long dream of owning this special item, he nodded. “I will protect it with my life, you have my word.” 

With that, the book was now in Levi’s possession. He held it close to him, hugging it, and smiling with the biggest grin you had ever seen from him. Even dressed in an honorable outfit, he was still just the cute nerd that everyone loved.

“I must get going. I wish you good fortune on your journey, wherever it may take you.” Solomon smiled and headed out of the store, assumingly to head back to the castle where the others are waiting patiently.

“Now, Grand Admiral, do you have a plan for how to go about this exchange?” You asked, intrigued to know what Levi had in mind, now that he had just gotten the one thing he would very likely never let go of.

“Of course I have a plan, but we have to get to the castle. I can’t wait any longer.” With a smile, he held out his arm for you to go in front of him, leaving the store behind. Onwards to the castle.

Upon reaching the “evil” castle, you entered, and it wasn’t quite the sight you were expecting. Diavolo really had gone above and beyond decorating the place. It wasn’t the light, bright, uplifting golden color everyone was used to, instead it seemed more dull, and gloomy, radiating the “evil” that was intended.

Speaking of the devil, appearing from the shadows came Lord Diavolo, in his demon form to appear more sinister, playing the part quite well, in fact. “Ah, Grand Admiral Leviathan. I see you have finally come to rescue your helpless brothers.” With a twisted smile Diavolo greeted Levi, and Levi’s face turned from confidence to the slightest hint of fear. 

Mustering up any and all courage, he spoke. “I have. Where are they? I have what you’ve asked for. But I will not give it to you blindly.” Leviathan flashed the glimmering book, earning a chuckle from the demon lord. 

“Smart one you are. Very well. Follow me.” The prince spoke, guiding both Levi and you down the hallway. Luckily for you, everyone else, and Levi, he never pays attention when he is at the castle. There are too many rooms, hallways, and places to get lost, so he never bothers to look beyond where he is supposed to be. This works in your favor rather well.

There was a large set of doors, the handles wrapped in a lingering smokey magic, a seal to ensure that no one was getting in or out. Levi had looked to you, cautiously, almost worried that something bad were to be behind this set of doors that he had never seen before. With a snap of the prince’s fingers, the smoke dissipated from the handles and Diavolo slowly opened the doors.

Behind them, was not at all what Levi was imagining. He nearly froze in shock, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open, and his brain desperately trying to make sense of what was before him.

“Surprise!! Happy Birthday Levi!” Everyone yelled as colorful confetti flew through the air. Setting a hand on the special boy’s shoulder, you guided him into the room. 

“What is all of this?” He asked you, looking around to see all of the familiar faces. His brothers, Solomon, Luke, Simeon, Barbatos, and even Diavolo. 

“A surprise party, duh!” You laughed, watching as the otaku’s mind shatters right before your very eyes.

“You should have seen the look on your face!” Mammon called from the corner, getting jabbed in the arm by Lucifer. 

“Wait- So this isn’t a game?!” His eyes filled with concern as he looked down at the outfit he was wearing, and took another look at the book in his grasp.

“No, it isn’t a game. MC thought it would be a fun idea to lead you on an adventure to get you to actually come here. We were all in on it. I’d say they did a pretty good job!” Diavolo’s bellowing laugh was accompanied by the biggest grin. 

“And before you ask, that book is yours now Levi. I know you will take great care of it. I got special permission from the author himself.” The sorcerer spoke, glancing at Simeon, who shared a pleased smile, followed by a soft nod.

The embarrassed and blushing demon turned to you. “Wow.. I-I can’t believe you did this all for me. This was the best birthday ever!!” With a shy, but excited grin, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug.

“I won’t ever forget today. Thank you, MC. I can’t wait to post about this!”

~

[f0xfordcomma]

re:union (kataang week 2021) DAY FIVE

prompt: healing

re:union

chapter five: her hands, again

summary: "They sat in silence while Katara worked. Her hands guiding the glowing orb of water down his chi pathways, following the line of his arrows from the nape of his neck down his muscular arms to his wrists. The silence, Katara suspected, wasn’t helping keep the tremble out of her touch, keep her surgeon’s hands steady, but the thought of breaking the silence made her all the more antsy."

read it on ao3

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It had really only been an hour.

Zuko realized, once he had regained his wits and dealt with the matters at hand, that he actually had no idea how Aang was with babies. He was the Avatar, though, and his closest friend. And really, it had only been an hour. Of course nothing could have gone wrong. Of course he trusted him with his daughter. Of course he did…

Returning to the Fire Nation embassy in a similar huff to the way in which he had left it, Zuko found two guilty looking pre-teens, one cradling a sleeping baby Izumi, the other preparing an ice-pack, hunched around a scowling and scraped up Aang.

“What did you two do to him?”

“Nothing! We were just playing out in the courtyard, and he wanted to show us some airbending trick, and well…”

“Kiyi tripped him.”

“I did not!”

“Did too!” Zuko surreptitiously snuck Izumi out of Tom Tom’s arms before Kiyi’s inevitable strike knocked the accusatory boy on his backside.

“Guys, guys! I’m fine, really. It turns out my air-scooter is just a little bit rusty. Absolutely not your fault.” The kids didn’t hear him, already a tangled pile of elbows and mean names on the floor. Aang met Zuko’s gaze with a glint of guilt in his eye. “How was your emergency?”

“It’s been handled. How were the kids?”

“Great! We had lots of fun!” Aang’s voice was cheerful, but his expression was pained. His attempt at easing Zuko’s worries with platitudes pushed through clenched teeth was not going to cut it, and he knew it.

“Clearly…” Zuko appraised his friend once more, realizing that he was clutching his left arm with his right rather awkwardly. He groaned. “I’ll send for Katara.”

⬭

Her hands were cold on his skin before she even bent the water from the basin up to meet them. They ghosted over his shoulder, tapped his collarbone, adjusted his elbow. Each spot she touched felt electrified. Each touch reminded him of the last time he had touched her. How familiar it had been. How formal this felt.

“How do you dislocate your shoulder with a bunch of kids?” Her voice was warm, amused, but not quite teasing, not quite yet.

“Oh, well… it was an accident really. Air-scooter…”

“Ah…”

“Yeah.” He instinctively brought his uninjured arm up to cover the infrared embarrassment emblazoned on his neck.

Upstairs, baby Izumi started to fuss. “Excuse me,” Zuko, pacing and clearly deep in thought on the other side of the room, cleared his throat. Taking his leave, Zuko glanced briefly at Aang and Katara, appraising the awkward tension between them and clicking his tongue at himself, realizing that, perhaps, he should have left them alone much sooner.

They sat in silence while Katara worked. Her hands guiding the glowing orb of water down his chi pathways, following the line of his arrows from the nape of his neck down his muscular arms to his wrists. The silence, Katara suspected, wasn’t helping keep the tremble out of her touch, keep her surgeon’s hands steady, but the thought of breaking the silence made her all the more antsy.

“It—It’s good to see you, Katara.” His voice broke as the silence broke with it.

She bent the water back into the nearby basin, deliberately turning away from him as she did it, knowing full well that her face was aflame.

“It’s good to see you too.” She still wasn’t facing him, nervously drying her hands on her skirt even though they were bone dry the moment she expelled the water from them. “You—you look older.” She immediately tensed up and bit her tongue, realizing how her comment could be misconstrued.

Aang, pushing through his own bouncing butterflies at the compliment and Katara’s resultant discomposure, chuckled. “What? I thought I was looking pretty good for my age! Not a day over 84, as far as I’m concerned.”

Katara spluttered, but she had turned to face him now, ignoring the blush that she was still sporting in favor of holding her own against his teasing. “I don’t know… you can’t even stay on your air scooter, Oldtimer. It might be time to put you out to pasture…”

Aang’s jaw dropped at the jab and he threw his arms, both now back in tip-top shape thanks to Katara’s healing, in the air. “I am young and sprightly, thank you very much! I only fell because the kids were distracting me!”

“Sure, Aang. I believe you.”

Aang fought the urge to stick his tongue out at Katara, only stopping himself when he caught her eye and realized how much she, too, looked older. Her body had filled out in places, her face had thinned out in places. Her eyes still sparkled with resilient hope, but they held more wisdom, more discernment. His breath caught in his open mouth and he sobered at the sight of her. “Honestly, I’m pretty out of practice. I, uh, haven’t really been doing much bending lately.”

“Not keeping up with your katas, pupil Aang?” She chided but her voice was soft and fond.

He omitted the fact that he had never missed a day of waterbending. Every evening he’d wade in whatever water he could find and feel the push and pull. It was a relief on days when everything around him felt like squishing and stretching. It was a relief on days when he missed her. He waterbended everyday.

In the other elements, though, he’d gotten lazy. Toph would probably chuck a boulder or two at him the next time he saw her, and Zuko would glare in that unnervingly disappointed way only he could. (Fatherhood, Aang thought, was well suited for Zuko.)

He had kept up more with his airbending, if only to show the acolytes and to navigate the haunts of his childhood in the way that they were designed. But he had to force himself, sometimes, to fly. It was less than exhilarating when he was surrounded only by memories of the people he once flew with.

He wanted to tell Katara about the times he would lie in the orchard on his back with Gyatso. How they would watch the birds coast through the air, drafting off of one another. “See how the birds always flock together? Flight is a communal activity, air is a communal element.”

He wanted to tell Katara about the games that they would play as children in the air on their gliders. Diving and diverting and drafting. Dancing around one another in the air to the music of the wind and their own laughter.

He wanted to tell Katara about the way that they spoke to one another, words flowing in on the wind, stories building upon stories, voices rising over voices.

He wanted to tell her how silent it had been. How empty. How even the birds had seemed to have abandon the place long ago.

“Just didn’t really have anyone to practice with.” He told her instead.

“Now you do! Come on.” He followed her out toward the harbor, wondering the whole way if it was too late to nonchalantly take her hand.

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look y'all! They spoke to one-another

@kataang-week

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter six

chapter seven

[passable-talent]

You can absolutely drop this to the bottom of your priority list no problem, I get it, but if you ever have the time to write up a part 2 to that "kindness and energy, not anger and rage" Zuko fic with gn/fem reader that would be amazing.

and this isn’t dropped to the bottom of the priority list! At least, not in the way you think. so, I answer requests sequentially, which how that works is that I put each ask that I receive into my drafts in the order that I receive them. so the one I most recently got is always on the top of that page. However, I always answer the one at the bottom of the page. this means that yes, when you requested it it was at the bottom of the pile, but with every one I answer, it gets closer to the top, and with every one I receive, it gets further from the bottom. this is how I do it with all requests.

anyway! part two of this post

You stepped backwards from Zuko, taking a moment to steady your breathing and your stance. You brought your fists to your sides, just below your ribcage, and with an inhale let them lift with your chest before extending outward, palms open to the ground. As you breathed, you thought not of what you had to be angry about, but what you had to be happy about. You thought of all that you loved and wanted to protect, all of the good you wanted to do for the world.

You imagined making your father proud. You imagined fighting alongside the avatar, turning fire away from earth kingdom villages. You imagined keeping your friends safe, and possibly even becoming a hero. You let yourself dream of the things you might do, the lives you might save, and heat invaded your body. Pure energy, spreading from just below your collarbones, up to where it made your jaw tingle, down to where it warmed your fingers. You could feel your firebending like you never had before- but you couldn’t let yourself get too excited by it.

You took a decisive step forward, beginning the form that Aang and Zuko had practiced earlier in the day, your eyes still closed. You pictured your mother’s face, and how proud she’d been when you first presented as a bender.

As your left foot was forward, you punched with the right hand, your shoulders square to the front of you. You felt it- the unmistakable heat of flame, and opened your eyes to the sight of a fading plume of fire that was nearly eight feet in length.

“Keep going,” said Zuko, a firmness in his voice that reminded you not to break focus.

You closed your eyes again, picturing your father’s encouragement. His kind words as he told you to train, to practice your firebending, even if everyone told you that you didn’t have skill, that it didn’t matter.

You took a sweeping step forward, the ball of your foot forever lightly connected to the earth for stability but the step quick and strong, circling a fist downward from above your head as though blocking a strike away from your body. From the bottom of your fist spouted a thin, white hot flame, centralized into a dagger-like shape that, as you opened your eyes and stared in amazement, you thought might be able to cut through metal.

“More,” Zuko said, startling you into opening your fist and losing the flame. You nodded at him and resumed your stance, closing your eyes once again.

You conjured the images of the soldiers you’d fought alongside on the Day of Black Sun, who’d flashed you smiles and thanks as you deflected firebending from them. You pictured what you thought that the day of Sozin’s comet might look like, fighting beside Zuko and Aang with extraordinary power. You let yourself smile- as Zuko had guided you, and taught you, and it was working. You imagined the smile that he might have on his face as you finally begun to succeed.

You took your back most foot up, shifting your weight onto your front foot and bringing your arms into your chest as your drew your foot in a circle from the outside of the body inward, the arc reaching just about to your head before your heel slammed to the ground, an arc of fire following its path. The circle of flame expanded to three times its size before it dissipated, but it had managed to catch the leaves of a nearby tree on fire. And though the form had been beautiful, you caused destruction, and that soured your success. You hadn’t meant to burn a living thing.

Abandoning the need for praise, you turned from Zuko and went to the tree, straining upward with one hand toward the flame. You waited, focusing on the fire in front of you as it feasted on the tree, until you felt it, in your palm, even though it still burned ten feet above your head. And then you curled your fingers inward, smoldering the flame, and leaving the tree to live without too much burn in its leaves.

You smiled, as you had just used firebending to save the life and energy of the tree. And now, you thought, you could do the same for people.

“That was amazing,” Zuko said, which made you turn back to him, “I’ve never seen a firebender put out a fire before. How’d you do that?” You looked at him for a moment, then shrugged.

“I waited until I could feel the flame, and then put it out as though it were in my hand.” He looked at you, as though studying you, for a moment that your heartbeat promised you went on for far too long.

“Hm,” was all he said, before he lifted his chin slightly. “Try it again, and then go to bed. It’s late.” A small smirk painted your lips, and you followed his advice.

In the days leading up to Sozin’s Comet, everything seemed to go so wrong. Everything, it seemed, except your training- you were becoming a better firebender every day. If you focused hard enough, you found, you could concentrate a spike of flame which had a core so hot and confined that it glowed white, not yellow. You recognized it too dangerous to use, especially during Sozin’s Comet, but you joked that Zuko could use it to make tea if he ever needed to boil something very quickly.

Your role in the battle of Sozin’s Comet itself was one to be expected- you accompanied Zuko and Katara as they faced Azula. Though, you left them to face her themselves, and went through the city, patrolling to keep others out of danger and to contain the Agni Kai to the palace, and no further. You used your skill to put out flame quite often, keeping little firebending incidents from getting out of control under the influence of the comet.

You were six blocks away from the palace courtyard when you heard a crack of lightning. You turned to face the wall where you knew the courtyard was, where the Agni Kai was, where Zuko was, in time to see a bolt of lightning shoot off and into the sky.

You had heard of the ferocity of the royal family, who could conjure lightning. You knew of the raw power it took, and how deadly the skill was.

Whatever had just happened, it couldn’t have been good.

“No,” you whispered, ferocity in your tone, and you took off running toward the palace. Minutes passed as you ran, fear keeping you going, adrenaline. You couldn’t let your friends die alone, and you’d step in to fight if you needed to, to protect them from a lightning-wielding princess.

You got to the wall, and didn’t intend to bother with climbing it, so you jumped the best you could and punched downward with both fists, massive columns of flame leaving your fists to propel you upward. But your angle was off, and though you cleared the wall, it came with a bit too much of a forward roll, and you might’ve broken your neck upon landing if you hadn’t shot fire down at the ground again, landing with a somewhat graceful and slow roll as the fire cleared.

You straightened up, and saw Katara running toward Zuko, who was on the ground.

“No,” you whispered again, and even though you were tired and shaking, you sprinted across the courtyard.

“No,” came the word, repeated, from between your breaths, as though the mantra would save his life. You skidded to your knees beside Zuko, and as you had run much further, Katara had already reached him, and turned him over. You briefly saw the wound on his stomach before she covered it with her hands, and you covered your mouth with your fingers as tears welled up. It was clearly a blast wound- it wasn’t from fire, but from the much more sinister lightning.

Your eyes flicked to his face, his teeth gritted and eyes tightly closed from pain, and you waited as Katara did her best to heal him.

“Thank you, Katara,” he whispered, as the expression of pain faded from his face, and both she and you smiled.

“I think I’m the one that should be thanking you,” she said, and you rushed forward to hug him where he lay.

“Thank Agni you’re alright,” you said, your grip on his shoulders tight. You felt one hand of his rest on your back, and you helped him get up with Katara’s help.

“Zuko?” You asked, having seen the horror of Azula, descended into madness and grief.

“Hm?” He said, the word as specific as he wanted to be in such a solemn moment.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” you told him, your place at his side holding him up even more helpful to let you rest your head on his shoulder. It was more, really, than you’d ever touched him before, even as you walked back to the palace that he’d once called his home. He didn’t move to pull away.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he responded, and you helped him sit down on a low windowsill. You smiled, a melancholic smile, grateful but not insensitive to the partial loss that the day had been. You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead, just above where his left eyebrow had once been.

“Don’t die on me,” you whispered as you parted, meaning to leave him alone with Katara so that she could have another go at healing him. But he, with one hand, reached up to grab your shoulder and pull you back, his lips connecting with yours.

Everything that firebending was to you- the kindness, the energy, ferocity, protection, it was here, in this kiss. As though there was fire shared between the two of you, and as though the feelings of the flame itself were within you, passing between you. It took your breath away, and nearly took your balance, too.

“I won’t,” he whispered when your lips parted, “as long as you stay.”

-🦌 Roe

[netflixbingger]

I’ll Find You- Part 3

Chapter 3: Burned Memories- Prince Zuko x Reader

Masterlist: Pinned to profile :)

Summary: Y/N struggles to accept Zuko’s fate of Agni Kai.  

Word Count: 1678 (Short, I know) 

Warning: Agni Kai. 

A dulled silence filled the gloomy halls as dark curtains covered the windows closing off any natural light from entering. You felt as if you were walking in slow motion towards the door; eyes heavy from tears, mind-numbed from thinking, and a burden of fear buried deep within your chest. As you reached your destination you saw Iroh slouched on a nearby bench; holding the same fearful expression as yourself. He looked up at hearing your footsteps and gave you a sad smile, nodding his head. He slowly sat up, exchanging a bow of respect before walking away; giving you and Zuko alone time. You were always grateful for Iroh, he was a beam of light in such a dark place.

It has been a little over a year since the New Year Ball and ever since then things amongst the royals have changed drastically. Azula was placed in a specialty fire bending school, Ozai banned any social ball exchanges, and the expansion of the Fire Nation grew. Though with all these new changes, there was one constant thing: Zuko.

After that night at the ball, you and Zuko made a promise for things not to change between the two of you. Even though his schedule was full of private policy classes and firebending training, he made the effort to see you as often as possible. Sometimes this would be accomplished by helping him study for a history test or a simple walk around the gardens. He never failed to make you feel wanted, and he did a good job reminding you that you were still his best friend. But given with age, you couldn't help but think there could be more than friendship between the two of you. You felt as if you were laying on the edge of friends and on the path towards a romantic relationship. You were always yearning to touch him in some way, and you’d occasionally catch yourself staring at him the same way your mother looked at your father. But though there was so much pulling you towards the boy, you ever acted on your feelings; you couldn't. He was a prince, planned to marry some high-ranked-ass-hole general's daughter. And you, you were nobody. You didn't belong in the palace, your family had no high nobility and it was obvious that his father hated you. You knew the only reason he allowed you to continue on with Zuko was because of Azula. For some reason, she talked to Ozai about letting you continue your palace visits. She claimed it was to practice her firebending with you, but you knew somewhere buried deep within her heart; she cared for you and Zuko.

Closing your eyes you reach your hand out towards the door, hovering it above the wood before knocking. You heard a sigh from inside the room and then within a second, the door swung open to reveal Zuko’s serious face. You both stared at each other for a moment before he stood aside and allowed you into his room.

You hung your head down as you stepped beside him, taking your time to examine his chambers. It was strange being here, you only remember his room from when you were very young and hiding from your duo of mothers. It was improper to be here alone with him, but you didn't care. Walking towards his bed, you danced your fingers along the silk sheets, pretending to examine them as Zuko watched from the doorway. But as the silence continued to loom in the air, you gave in, “Zuko please, you don't have to do this.”

“I don't have much of a choice, I disrespected the General” he sighed, walking towards his window; unlike the rest of the palace, his curtains were pulled open allowing the sunlight to glow along his skin.

“We could run away together?” you asked half-jokingly, hesitantly stepping forward toward the boy, “We could visit the other nations! Create new lives for ourselves, new names too!”

He continued to stare straight through the window, ignoring your pleas. You let go of his silk sheets as you made your way towards the boy. Standing beside him, your eyes scanned his face for emotion, for a sign of hope. Placing your hands on his arm like a child pulling at their parent, you continued on with your story, “Hmm, how about Izumi and Lee!”, you jumped at the idea, gripping his upper arm with much force.

“Y/n” head high held as he slid your hands off his arm and gently placed them down at your sides, “I can't just run away. I’m the prince, I have an honor and duty I need to withstand”

His refusal to meet your eyes burned your heart, he squeezed your hands before walking past you towards the door. You didn't know what to do, how to get him to stay. He was 13 years old and he was about to fight against a trained general. Your mind was racing on the possible outcomes, and soon enough your legs gave out from under you and you collapsed on the nearby chair. He turned around at the sound of the chair legs scraping across the floor and stared at you.

“Zuko, please” you pleaded with tearful eyes. You picked at your nails within your lap trying to distract yourself from the reality that is about to come. You heard Zuko release a breathless laugh before he made his way towards you. Kneeling down he took your chin in his hand and tilted your head up. A sad expression unmasked before you as he wiped your tears away with a forced smile. He rested his hand on your cheek before moving it towards your lap and lacing your fingers together. You can tell he wanted to say something, wanted to tell you something. But as your fingers danced with one another, the silence continued.

“I promise Y/N, it's going to be fine” he gulped before standing back up, stopping midway to place a kiss upon your forehead. He let his lips linger on your soft skin, taking a sniff of your perfumed hair before he retreated into a full standing position. You could still feel the burn of where his lips once laid. “I got this, besides we all know I can take down the General in my sleep”

You felt silenced, but you nodded your head as you knew it was time for him to go. He gave you a toothless grin before approaching the door once again, and just as he was about to walk out, you called, “Zuko wait”

As he stared at you, you wanted to run to him. You wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. You never held this strong of feelings before. But your heart was pulling at you to do it, to take the risk. You stood up, taking a step forward. If you weren't watching closely you would have missed how he leaned your way, opening himself for what was about to happen. He looked away from your eyes towards your lips as if he was yearning for the same touch.

But you couldn't move, you were too afraid. Taking a step back you bowed towards him, “Good luck, I’ll be waiting” your voice cracked as he sadly nodded in your direction before walking down the hall. Within a split second, you already regretted fighting the urge.

The next few hours felt like a nightmare. It all happened so quickly; the flames, the screams, the smell of burning flesh. Something you will never be able to remove from your memory, something that will haunt you for years to come. As Firelord Ozai’s banishment fled through your ears, pain began to fill your entire body. You must have gone into shock because one moment you collapsed into your crying mother's form and the next you were screaming and thrashing at the guards as they escorted you out of the palace: an order from Zuko himself.

He didn't want to see you. He refused to see you. He was willing to leave without saying goodbye.

You never experienced so much pain as you did that day. You lost your best friend and you lost your childhood: the innocence you once held has now vanished. Visions of fire and pain constantly flooded your mind. It was only a matter of a few weeks before your family was stripped of any nobility and your father was deployed to the Fire Nation front lines.

After that, everything began to shatter at once, and you were beginning to lose your mind. You felt as though you had been banished beside Zuko, and that Ozai was attacking you personally. It was when your father was announced a traitor for disobeying General commands that your mother decided you had no place in the city anymore. You were expelled from the Fire Nation Academy for Girls, your mother was banned from local shops and gatherings, and your father was sent to Boiling Rock.

As Ozai’s war spread further into the world, your mother wanted nothing to do with a nation that caused nothing but pain. You and her shed your red and black clothes, promising never to wear the color of fire again. You removed yourself from the studies of firebending and settled into an Earth Nation village called Gaoling. Here you led a normal life; worked in a soup shop with your mother, and learned the true history of the Fire Nation.

3 years passed since you last saw the banished prince, but the nightmares of his screams still haunted you. You loathed Firelord Ozai, and you made it your life mission to avenge his sins. So when you had run into the Avatar, you promised to help him in any way that you could. You explained how you knew the royals inside and out, you knew the city like the back of your hand, and you knew how to take Ozai down.

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Found this sitting in my drafts for a verrrry long time, but tell me what you think! And if you would like to be added/removed from tag list just let me know :)  

Tag list: @sadgirlnumber92899​ @fandom-addict-aesthetics​ @roastbeats​ @lammello​ @unicornwithachainsaw83

[appassaddle]

Apples and Trees

This is just self indulgent fluff (a rare thing to find in my drafts lol) with no bearing on any established canon. Jinora just deserves nice things I think.

Jinora opens her eyes to find herself sitting on a high mountainside. It’s peaceful to sit and watch the clouds drift by.

After a time-a few seconds, a few hours, it’s funny in the spirit world- she becomes aware of another presence sitting next to her. The spirit feels familiar somehow and she looks over to find another airbender sitting next to her in the same tranquil position. Her mind is fuzzy and slow- she must be asleep in the material world.

“And here I thought I’d met every other airbender in the spirit world.”

She jumps when the other airbender speaks without looking at her or moving. He cracks his eyes open and turns to look at her with a smile. The shape of the spirit clarifies as she looks- a boy around her age, maybe a little younger. The folds of his robe show he’s from the Southern Air Temple. She wonders for a moment if he was one of the kids who died at the beginning of the war. If he was young and from the south, he might have known her grandfather, but it seems rude to ask a spirit that kind of thing.

“But I haven’t met you before.” He says cheerfully.

“I’m not, uh, dead. Yet.” Jinora winces. “I’m Jinora!”

“Oh, um, Kuzon.”

She tilts her head.

“That’s a funny name for an airbender.”

“Oh, haha, is it?” He rubs the back of his head awkwardly.

Jinora shrugs. Maybe back in his time they’d had a closer relationship with the Fire Nation.

“You seem young to be a master.” She says, narrowing her eyes at him.

“So do you.” Kuzon points out. “You’re only like fourteen.”

“I’m nearly seventeen, thank you, and I got my tattoos when I was eleven.”

Kuzon looks impressed.

“Wow, I was twelve when I got mine. How did you earn yours?”

“I was the Avatar’s spirit guide and kind of helped her save the world a couple of times.” Jinora says, trying not to sound too proud.

Kuzon lets out a low whistle.

“Nice. Being friends with the Avatar must be hard.”

“Not really, Korra’s really nice.” Jinora stretches out her legs and leans back against the mountain. “She’s actually been stressing out lately.” She laughs.

“About what? Saving the world again?”

“Haha, no, even though she’s acting like it some days. She’s getting married and she’s been going in circles about whether she should ask Gran-gran to be part of the ceremony or not.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were related to her.”

“We’re- uh, it’s complicated.” Jinora sighs. Kuzon laughs.

“I get that. I found out once that I was a reincarnation of my best friend’s great-grandfather!”

Jinora nods, pulling her knees in to rest her chin on them.

“Yeah. Plus on top of everything else, it’s hard to get peace and quiet when nearly everyone you know or are related to is famous. That’s part of why I like the spirit world so much. Spirits don’t care who I am, just if I’m respectful.”

Kuzon sighs, leaning back next to her.

“I can understand that.”

Jinora eyes him a bit skeptically.

“Weren’t you a monk?”

“Like you said, I enjoy the spirit world for the peace and quiet.” He smiles wanly at her.

They sit and watch the clouds pass for a while. It’s nice to sit with someone else who enjoys the stillness as much as she does. But her mind, slow in sleep as it is, still races ahead.

“Can I ask you some questions? I’m so curious about traditional Air Nomad culture.”

“Sure. I’ll try my best to answer.”

“Okay, so-“

Jinora peppers him with questions and he has most of the answers. It’s mundane details that she craves, the small things that make the scrolls and books, even her grandfather’s journals she’s read come to life.

“Oh,” She leans back finally having run out of initial questions. “This will be so great to be able to share with the other Air Nomads.”

Kuzon gives her a funny look.

“I thought there was only a couple of airbenders left.”

Jinora smiles widely.

“No, there’s a whole lot of us now! After the last harmonic convergence, a whole lot of nonbenders woke up with airbending! My aunt thinks that they must be related to some of the original Air Nomads. My brother and sister and I all helped our dad and Avatar Korra find them so we could teach them how to be airbenders properly. And most of them even stayed to work to become masters like me and my dad.”

The young airbender next to her looks like he got hit over the head with a glider staff.

“Your dad is an airbending master too?”

“Yeah. I’m the second airbending master in the world and the third in over a hundred and fifty years. My family and I are reestablishing the Air Nation.” She says proudly. Then she deflates a little. “Drat. I didn’t want to bring up my family. It gives away who I am.”

“Does it?” Kuzon still sounds weird. Jinora sighs.

“Yeah. Everyone knows us because Grandpa Aang was the Avatar.”

Kuzon whips around so fast Jinora almost wants to rub her own neck in sympathy.

“You’re Tenzin’s daughter?” He breathes.

“Yes.” She frowns. “How do you know my dad’s name?”

Kuzon looks like an antelope-deer in headlights.

Before he can answer, Jinora is distracted by a flying spirit barreling towards them. It doesn’t look pleased with their precarious perch on the mountainside. Before she can react, Kuzon leaps to his feet and plants them in a firm stance on the ground, flinging out a hand to send the spirit spiraling away in a tight blast of air. Jinora claps a hand over her mouth and stares at him. He stays in the stance for a moment longer, watching to see if the spirit comes back, then taking a seat with a relieved sigh when it seems clear.

“I knew you seemed familiar.” She breathes and his head snaps up to look at her. “Grangran said that I reminded her of you.”

The other airbender rubs his head awkwardly, then sighs and in a small puff of spirit-smoke changes form. Her grandfather sits next to her, the same sheepish look on his now-adult face.

“It wasn’t an intentional trick.”

Jinora flings herself forward to hug him. Aang returns her hug tightly.

“Hello.” He says gently. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

[runtedfiction]

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A/N: for zutara week day 1! i’ve only watched half of korra so i don’t know what actually happens in canon, only that zutara didn’t 😔

AO3

  *     *     *

Toph is the first to leave. Her final wave is larger than life, her smile brighter than the sun, as she and the Bei Fong security team kickstart their ostrich horses. “See ya later!”

Katara watches her go from the steps of the Jasmine Dragon, laughing and crying. 

“And so she sneaks in one last blind joke,” Sokka says, rubbing at his eyes. Suki rubs his back. “Those Bei Fongs better take care of her.”

“It’s ok,” Aang says, also wiping at tears. He slips his hand into Katara’s, a quiet show of affection that she knows everyone notices. “This isn’t where the journey ends!” 

“How can you be so sure about that, Aang?” she asks. “Sure, there’s lots of rebuilding to do, but I’m not sure if we can exactly do it together and—”

“We can,” Zuko cuts in. Though it’s been so long, she’s reminded of the first time she saw him in the Jasmine Dragon. But now here he is, hair down and shaggy, the happiest she’s ever seen him. 

“Aang and I can’t rebuild the world alone,” he says. A glimmer of hope takes root in her heart. “We’re going to need all your help. Aang and I want to hold annual Summit Weeks for the next three years to fully realize our vision of peace; we would be honored to have all of Team Avatar there.”

“Of course,” Sokka says. “No brainer, I’ll be there.”

“Me too,” says Suki. “The Kyoshi Warriors are honored to serve.”

“I’ll be there too,” Katara echos. So much has changed in the past year, and she wonders what will change in the next. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

   *     *     *

Katara, Aang, and Sokka leave Ba Sing Se for the Southern Water Tribe, and Team Avatar’s first year apart begins. 

Katara and Sokka set on rebuilding their home, bringing in new technology and infrastructure. They sit next to their father at council meetings, paving paths of future greatness. Aang sticks around for the first three months before he leaves too to restore the air temples. “Just like you’re building a future here for new generations of waterbenders,” he explains, hand on top of hers, “I’m going to do the same for airbenders. We need our homes back.”

He promises to visit once every few weeks, and Katara sees him off with a kiss. He blushes like he always does, and an overwhelming fondness fills her. Aang may be 113, but he’s 13 in her eyes, giddy to hold her close and call her his. 

After he leaves, Katara forgets the rest of the world, only remembering it when Aang comes back full of stories. But one morning a messenger hawk is spotted on the horizon. She drops her scrolls to sprint to it-- Zuko . They haven’t spoken since Ba Sing Se, and she fumbles with the red ribbon around the message, shaking with excitement. 

  Katara,

I know it’s been a while since you’ve heard from me, and I hope you’re doing well. As always, thank you for doing your part in ending the war. I also don’t know how I can thank you enough for saving my life; every day I’m reminded in some way.

Now that I’m settled in, I want to discuss plans for the new era of peace. For the Southern Water Tribe, this means reparations from the Fire Nation and electing a representative as a point of contact for our interim council. I’m drafting proposals and will be sending them over shortly; please let me know if I should be sending them to you, your father, or Sokka. 

Again, I hope you’re doing well. The Summit Week will be a few months from now, and I hope to see you there. Write back soon.

Your friend,

Zuko

P.S. I know this letter may sound stuffy, and I’m Fire Lord now, but some part of me will always be the 16 year old rehearsing “Hello, Zuko here” and hoping for your forgiveness. Also, I hope Sokka’s not offended that I only sent this to you.

 Sokka sticks his nose in the air when he reads this. “I am offended.”

“Oh grow up,” Katara says, laughing. “Think about how great it’ll be to see everyone again soon.”

Will Toph be taller, or Zuko’s hair shorter? Will Suki and Ty Lee go to the Summit? And speaking of the Summit, what can she advocate for during it? Katara picks up a pen and begins writing a reply, daydreaming about seeing her friends again in the back of her mind.

   *     *     *

“Twinkle toes, I missed you so much .” 

Toph runs towards Appa and gives them all a hug as soon as they land. She’s a bit taller, and behind her is Zuko, hair a bit longer, who joins the hug as soon as Katara pulls him in. 

“Where’s Suki?” Sokka asks.

“The Kyoshi Warriors insisted on being private security for the event,” Zuko explains. “But Suki, come on out. Your boyfriend is eager to see you, no one’s looking to kill me here.”

“Suki!” Sokka runs to her as soon she slips out of the shadows, and Katara’s heart fills. Everyone’s together again.

Later that evening, Zuko joins them for dinner in their suite. It’s a curious affair--fire flakes alongside stewed sea prunes, cabbage noodles, and tofu. Sokka eats like a vacuum, and Katara is pleased that Aang has so many choices. She wonders if Zuko did research beforehand. 

“I hope you’ve all been briefed on the schedule for the coming week,” Zuko says. “And I know it seems like a lot. But rest assured that every event will lead to an action item on my docket.”

“And,” he continues, “it might be boring. Insufferable, even. But to the world, we’re one of the most important teams guiding things forward.”

“Don’t worry, Zuko, we can do it,” Katara says, and he looks at her with a smile. For the past few months they’ve exchanged letters about rebuilding the Southern Water Tribe (they’ll ask the North for funds too), outlawing bloodbending (Zuko promised to help), and the new name of the four nations. 

“The United Republic of Nations,” Aang says, digging into his sweet buns. “I like it.”

   *     *     *

During the recess of The State of Bending talk, Zuko finds Katara and places a hand on her shoulder. 

“People like Yakone are the worst,” he says. “But it’s going to be fine, don’t worry.”

“He’s pond scum!” Katara hisses. “I hate people who lie like that. And calling me not only a child but also a coward, with that look in his eye--Aang had to stop me from bloodbending him right there and then.”

“He’s pond scum, yes,” Zuko agrees, “but all you have to do is hear him out and make sure the interim councilmembers hear your arguments. I’ll back you up.”

“I know, I know. But still, pond scum!”

“Yup,” Zuko says, a smile on his face. “He’s cold ashes. We can take him.”

“You’re right.” Katara thinks of the times they followed each other into battle. This is no different; if anything, at least they’re not putting their lives on the line. “Thanks, Zuko.” 

“No problem.” His smile grows soft. “And as always, I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

He follows her back into the meeting room where she makes history, her eyes glowing with the conviction she soon becomes famous for.

   *     *     *

Almost two years later, after another Summit Week passes and just before the third one, Zuko sends Katara a letter that begins with It’s official! and ends with a copy of the new legislation outlawing bloodbending.

And in the middle of the Southern Air Temple’s training grounds, Katara jumps and yells with excitement.

Within a minute Aang is by her side, concern in his eyes. “Is everything alright?” 

“Yes yes yes!” She kisses him on the cheek, and he looks confused. “The Council passed that bloodbending legislation! Oh, Aang, this is so great.”

“Oh yeah--awesome!” He says. “I’m really happy for you!”

“I can’t believe it actually worked,” Katara holds the letter close to her heart. “I can’t believe it!”

“I know, this is so good for you,” Aang says, his voice a bit rushed. “And I’m sorry but—”

“You have to go tend to the Air Acolytes,” Katara says. “I’m not in danger, don’t worry! You can hurry back.”

“Thanks for always understanding,” Aang says, giving her a quick kiss. Then he leaves in a gust of air, and Katara sits on the soft grass, feeling the breeze.

Aang resists political involvement, citing the Avatar’s need for neutrality, so it’s understandable that he isn’t as excited as her. Aang needs to preserve the traditions of the Air Nomads, so it’s understandable that he can’t be with her all the time. Aang is constantly called to stop civil wars or investigate malicious spirits, so it’s understandable that Katara sometimes goes a week without seeing him even if he asked her to live with him for a bit. 

Katara understands these things, and yet some part of her yearns for the South Pole, for anywhere that feels like home. She’s acutely aware that Aang’s duty is to the world, and yet some part of her feels so small and alone. 

At least there’s this letter. It's confirmation that her work these past few years has been worth it. And if the rumors are true, the nation heads are working on a new permanent council to govern the United Republic of Nations. 

The era of peace is being fully realized, and Katara wonders how she can ask for a seat on the council.

A few weeks later, just as she begins writing a letter to ask her father if he could recommend her ( I know I’m barely 18, I know I only have experience with our small tribe, but I know I’m the best person for the job ), a message arrives. 

I’ve written to your father to ask him to nominate you for the Southern Water Tribe Representative on the new council, Zuko says. If I could recommend you myself, I would. If he nominates you (and I don’t see why he wouldn’t), prepare to defend that nomination at the upcoming Summit. 

Katara nearly cries, and Aang places a hand on top of hers. Even the sun seems to shine brighter; a leaf dances in through the window of the study room. 

“Is everything alright?” he asks. 

“Everything’s great,” she says. The thought of potentially moving to Republic City as a councilmember (and thereby leaving Aang’s side for some time) briefly flickers in her mind. “I have some great news.”

   *     *     *

The third and final Summit Week comes, and Katara has the daunting task of defending her nomination in front of the nations’ leaders. Even though this really only means speaking in front of the Earth King and Northern Water Tribe Chief (Aang, Zuko, and her father are also in the room, but do they really count?), this is turned against her. 

“Your father, partner, and longtime friend are likely going to vote for your approval. You already have three out of five votes secured. What do you say to people who claim nepotism?” 

“With all due respect,” Zuko cuts in, a bit angry, “this question seems unfair, and—”

“It’s ok,” Katara says, voice measured. “People are going to say this. And to that I say that my accomplishments in the Southern Water Tribe, from securing and using reparations funds to build our growing nation to advocating for all waterbenders, not just the men, speaks volumes. I also originated the legislation that’s now in place to outlaw bloodbending. I pushed for these initiatives with the help of the people you just named, but ultimately I did it.”

Zuko smiles. He remembers some old campfire story Sokka told about Sapphire Fire as he watches Katara talk her through every sticky question. She’s going to do great on The Council, no doubt.

She’s already amazing. 

   *     *     *

Katara sighs in relief when the nation heads confirm her council seat. 

Team Avatar celebrates over dinner. Only it isn’t a private room this time, like it was two years ago--this time around, it’s in the Fire Nation palace, in the biggest hall Katara has ever seen. Everyone invited to Summit Week dines together, the golden walls housing the noisy chatter of the most important people in the world.

Zuko prepared formal clothes for them tailored to their respective traditions, and as always, his quiet attention to detail never fails to amaze her.

“Tonight, we feast!” Sokka says, opening their table’s meal with a toast. “To my sister, who has never failed to be annoying and fight for the things she cares about. The Southern Water Tribe and the world are in debt to you, Councilwoman Katara.”

“To Katara!” Aang says, and everyone follows suit. Their glasses clink together, and Katara feels at home for the first time in a long time. 

Toph tells them about all the lies she’s heard today (“People even lie about the kinds of tea they like, how weird is that!”), Suki pretends to chi block Sokka when he steals food off her plate, and Aang and Zuko trade friendly insults about who’s taller. 

It’s perfect.

   *     *     *

Dear Zuko,

Thanks so much for your support in nominating me to the council. You beat me to asking my father for his recommendation, and your confidence in me means the world. For what it’s worth, the way you and Aang have been dealing with the newly freed Fire Nation colonies is incredible. The world is lucky to have you both. 

Moving to Republic City is going to be tricky, but I’ll be there before the end of month. I hope to see you there not only for my swearing in ceremony, but also for advising sessions. I’m sure we’ll see each other soon. Still kind of surreal!

Speaking of surreal things, I can’t believe you’ve been raising a dragon. On the one mission I was allowed to join Aang on, we found a herd of sky bison; they’re not extinct either! Appa’s babies are going to be so cute. 

And finally, speaking of cute things, I’ve attached a painting that an Air Acolyte child did of you. Look--the scar is on the right side.

Your friend,

Katara

   *     *     *

Moving to Republic City is tricky because Aang’s schedule collides with, well, everything.

Katara brings it up one night over dinner. “How is visiting each other going to work?” 

“I don’t know,” Aang says. He picks up some silken tofu gently with his chopsticks, careful to not let it split. “This next month the Southern Air Temple is pretty set, but there’s two more to fill with Acolytes. There’s still rumors of civil unrest in the freed colonies. Zuko said he wanted an Air Temple Island next to Republic City, right? Maybe I could stay there?”

“Zuko wants your supervision on it, but the Island might not be ready for construction for another year at least. What if you stayed in the city with me for some time?”

“I don’t know,” Aang says with a sigh. “There’s too much to do, and I think the Eastern Air Temple needs full restoration next to establish a spiritual home. I’m really sorry, I know this is your dream and I’m making it difficult.”

“It’s ok, don’t worry,” Katara says. “You’re the Avatar. You serve the world.”

“I wish I could do more for you too though.” Aang looks remorseful, and Katara places her hand over his. He hesitates, then asks, “Do you--do you think you could ever take a week off and find me?”

Katara pulls her hand back. “What? No. The Council has so much to do, I even just wrote this whole Constitution proposal, and I don’t think that I could just leave for a week without that having serious conseq—”

“Oh, yeah, wait, I really didn’t mean to imply that leaving your job to see me wouldn’t have serious consequences.” Aang grabs her hand, and she appreciates the quick backtrack. 

But it still stings. “Our jobs aren’t equally important and that’s ok,” she says, “but we have to figure out a system to see each other. Do you know a rough timeline of what next year would look like for you yet?”

“No,” Aang says, quiet. “Like I said, there’s too much to do. All I know...all I know is that I don’t want to feel like I’m losing you because you’re my forever girl.”

“Aang, you’re not losing me.” A beat passes, and she hesitates. “But forever is--forever is a really long time and I don’t know how to think about that, let’s focus on the next few years maybe--”

“I was trapped in ice for 100 years, Katara!” She can see tears brimming in his eyes, and it’s hard to comfort him when she’s the one doing the hurting. “A few years is nothing. I might have been trapped forever, if not for you or Sokka--I know how precious time is, but also how to wait, and I know I want you in my time.”

“I know that’s what you want,” Katara says, voice soft. And the next words to come out of her mouth are dangerous, something she only thinks when she’s alone. When Aang leaves her with a gust of wind. When she thinks about how the Southern Water Tribe might not even feel like home anymore; Sokka says so much has changed in the last year she’s been gone. “If we can’t see each other for the next few years, I’m not sure what I want.”

Aang is silent, and Katara’s stomach sinks. How could I say that? 

But also, her heart soars— thank God I was able to say that.

“I understand,” he finally says. He stands and picks up their empty bowls. “You need to find your way. And for now, that isn’t with me.” 

Tears well in her eyes. She nods.

   *     *     *

Katara,

Aang told me what happened. I really hope you’re doing ok. When Mai broke up with me, I was devastated, but I understood that she wanted more out of life than watching other people live it. Not to say that’s what you’re doing, but more that I understood her perspective, much like I’m sure Aang will understand yours. (I realize this is completely unsolicited personal advice advice. Don’t worry, I’ve attached suggested edits to your constitution proposal to this letter.)

But really, if you need anything to get to Republic City, let me know. Druk’s gotten big enough to fly now, and the palaces always have empty rooms ready to receive guests. I can also always make arrangements.

Your Friend,

Zuko

 (Aang still insists on dropping her off to Republic City, which Katara knows is his way of saying sorry. When they arrive, trying very hard not to cry, she hugs Aang as tight as she can before sliding off Appa. 

“Write often,” she says. “And thank you.” 

“I will,” he says. “And I should be thanking you, so don’t worry. I’ll see you later.”

He leaves with a defeated look on his face, and that’s when Katara lets herself cry.)

   *     *     *

Living in Republic City still doesn’t feel real. Katara has never had a place to call her own before, and the idea of this apartment being hers is foreign. 

At her swearing in ceremony, Zuko and her father are the only familiar faces in the crowd. Sokka, Toph, and Suki are all home as far as she knows, and Aang is at the Eastern Air Temple. But Zuko and her father bring flowers and words of congratulations, and that’s more than enough.  

“Your mother would be so proud,” Hakoda says. “I knew even before you and Zuko sent those letters that you’d be the one for the job.”

“Thanks Dad,” Katara says, holding him tight for a hug. “I wish Mom were here to see this.” 

“Me too.”

Next is Zuko, holding a bouquet of fire lilies. “I don’t remember if you like flowers, but I figured they’re a nice formality. Congrats, Councilwoman Katara.” 

She holds the flowers and pulls him in close for a hug. “They’re beautiful. Thanks.” 

A few weeks later, Katara finishes the first official draft of the United Republic’s Constitution. It’s one thing to read the historical documents that shaped each nation, and another to write them herself. Undeniable rights, government structure, due process--it's all she can think about for weeks.  

She sends copies to all her friends, looking for advice. But it’s nice to catch up in the letters too; Suki has moved to the Southern Water Tribe for the time being. Sokka says Master Pakku and Gran Gran are disgustingly in love. Even Aang replies--it’s short and Katara can hear the hurt in his voice, but he’s trying, and that’s all she can ask for. 

Zuko is the only person whose feedback she can hear in person. When he’s not advising the greater Council or overseeing construction of Air Temple Island he’s in Katara’s office, dropping off scrolls and occasionally serving tea. 

"The Jasmine Dragon’s White Dragon,” Katara says, reading the label on the tin that Zuko carefully measures leaves from. He laughs. “What’s so funny?” 

“My uncle once drank something thinking it was white dragon, but it was white jade. And you think it wouldn’t be too bad, but he was covered in rashes for days. Everywhere.” 

Katara smiles. “That’s horrible.” 

“It’s ok, we figured it out.” Zuko’s eyes have a faraway look, one that Katara often sees in herself. So much has changed in the past five years, but sometimes it’s easy to get lost in thinking about what it was like when the world was ending. 

“Anyway,” Zuko says. “I have a free night a month from now, and we should get dinner at this new place I hear is good.”

“Kwong’s Cuisine?”

“Yup, that’s the one!” Zuko clears his throat. “Oh, and, to clarify, other people should come too if they’re free. Like, if Sokka is in town, or Suki, or Toph, or Aang. Although, I guess maybe not Aa—”

“Zuko,” Katara says with a laugh. “It’s fine. Kwong’s Cuisine a month from now sounds great.”

“Ok, sorry. Anyway, the Constitution…”

When he leaves, Katara finds herself smiling. Zuko’s cute when he’s flustered. 

   *     *     *

Katara only has one set of clothes fancy enough for Kwong’s, and it’s the set that Zuko gave her at the Summit a year ago. 

Zuko notices when she arrives. “Are these the—”

“Yeah,” she says. “I guess it might be a bit embarrassing, but I don’t have much time to go shopping.”

“It’s not embarrassing, and that makes sense.” She takes a seat across from him. “If anything, it’s embarrassing how many robes I have. They have stewed sea prunes here, by the way. ”

“My favorite!”

They order a strange blend of Fire Nation and Water Tribe foods, but to their credit, the wait staff says nothing, only bowing deeply. 

Katara refills their tea cups. “Speaking of sea prunes--even at the Summit, four years ago, when you had them served for dinner. How on earth did you remember that Sokka and I liked them?” 

“You said it one random night years ago,” Zuko says. “And maybe Sokka said it in his sleep. The night we all came to Ember Island, I think.”

Katara’s impressed. “Wow, you remember that so clearly.”

Zuko nods, and there’s that faraway look in his eyes again. “Everything in the days after I joined Team Avatar and leading up to that final Agni Kai I remember very clearly.”

“Me too.”

Katara places her hand over his, briefly, to pull him back in the present. It seems to work.

“But hey,” she says. “Look where we are now! And to be honest, sometimes what I remember most is how mean I was to you in the beginning.”

What she doesn’t say is what she actually remembers most is Zuko jumping in front of lightning for her. 

He laughs. “I remember you threatening to kill me if I ever stepped out of line.”

“Hey, hey,” Katara says. “Again, like I said, look where we are now! A valid point at the time though.” 

“I know,” Zuko says. He’s handsome when he smiles too.

A few weeks after Kwong’s, Katara replays the night in her head and steps out of the shower, bending herself dry. Fuck, she thinks. I'm in love with Zuko.

   *     *     *

Katara can’t pinpoint exactly when she started having feelings for Zuko, but now that she’s in the thick of it, it doesn’t matter. 

What matters is that when she signs the Constitution, he hands her the pen. When rumors of bloodbending start, he helps her squash illegal training camps. When Toph joins the police force, he’s at her side to welcome her on the steps of City Hall.

“Sugar Queen, Sparky!” Toph opens her arms for a hug and Katara sprints into it. “It’s good to see you.”  

“Toph, it’s so good to see you.” 

“Orientation starts in a few minutes, so I have to go. But Sparky, that life-changing field trip--I still need it. I expect an itinerary by the end of the week.” 

Zuko smiles. “You got it.” 

The curious thing about being in love with the Fire Lord is that it’s not the grand things that Katara likes. It’s the small things. The way he always remembers to ask her how she’s doing, or how he sends tins of white dragon tea to her office. Even when she doesn’t see him for a week (Katara knows Zuko must be horribly busy and doesn’t understand how he has the energy to fly to Republic City on a weekly basis), thoughts of him live in her mind.

And so it’s terrifying but also easy after their second dinner at Kwong’s to move in a bit closer than she normally would. 

“Thanks for flying me home,” Katara says. “I’m sure Druk wants to go home now too.” 

“He doesn’t like the city. It’s too dense for him.” Zuko’s hard to read, as usual, and it’s terrifying to bet their friendship on this, but she knows she has to. “It might be ti—”

She cuts him off to kiss him, and for a second, time stops. But then another second passes, and another, and Katara is pulling back because ok, wow, holy shit was that the wrong thing to do .

But then he pulls her in tighter, kisses her more deeply, and happiness fills Katara the way fire lilies drink in rain after a drought. 

“I love you,” he says, arms tight around her waist as he pulls her in for a hug. “I love you, and sometimes it feels like I’ve loved you all my life.”

   *     *     *

Fire Nation summers are unforgivingly hot, and in the last few months of her term as councilwoman, Katara finds herself spending more time in the palace with Zuko. 

She’s nominated Sokka to take her place on the United Republic Council, and he and Suki are moving to Republic City next weekend. It’s just in time for the unveiling of Air Temple Island. Aang will be the guest of honor, and Toph his security.

“I don’t think we’ve all been together since the summit four years ago,” Zuko says. They’re feeding the turtleducks at sunset, the only time of day when it finally starts cooling down. 

She bends little ripples in the water, and the turtleducklings quack with delight. 

“It’ll be great to see everyone again,” Katara says. “And I can’t wait for Sokka to start working so I don’t have to anymore.” 

“Have you given more thought to what you want to do once you leave?”

She nods. “Yes, but there’s so much to do. I could train new healers or new waterbenders in the south. I could lobby for special interests like the former colonists. I could travel the world for personal enjoyment. Right now I’m leaning towards going back to the south.”

“That does sound like a lot to think about.” 

“I know,” Katara says. “And I once fought with Aang about it, but now I understand. Sometimes it feels like there’s too much to do, and it’s easy to feel like you don’t know where to get started.”

“I have a suggestion,” Zuko says, “if it’s hard to get started. You could stay here, with me.”

Her heart skips a beat. “Stay?”

“Stay,” he says, like it’s simple, obvious even, for Katara to uproot her life and live in the Fire Nation. 

To be fair, it wouldn’t be much uprooting. All she has is her apartment in Republic City, and even that doesn’t have many things in it. 

“Hmm,” she says. “I never really thought about that.”

Zuko takes her hand, laces her fingers through his. Her heart aches at how gentle it is. “Maybe I’m not suggesting so much as I’m asking.  You can split your time between here and the South Pole, even just three to four months out of the year here would be fine.”

“You’d really want me to stay?” 

“Of course,” Zuko says. It’s unspoken, but Katara knows there’s the possibility of staying in the Fire Nation permanently down the line. And even more unspoken--she’s only 21, after all--is the possibility of being Fire Lady. 

“I’ll take your suggestion,” Katara says, “and much like your letters, I’ll give you a response in five to ten business days.” 

He groans and she laughs, kisses him on the cheek. 

“Yes,” she says. “I’ll stay.”

   *     *     *

A little more than a decade after Zuko’s coronation, Team Avatar reunites in the Fire Nation for a wedding. 

It’s an entire day of ceremonies that marry Water Tribe and Fire Nation tradition. Zuko and Katara kneel in front of the Southern Water Tribe, the Fire Nation, and the spirits to bind their souls in marriage. It feels like the world’s oldest love story (Tui and La, Oma and Shu, Zuko and Katara), and in a way, it is. The brilliant blue of her robes pair nicely with his scarlet red, and the world cheers when they raise their hands together.

The dinner party is the first time of day where Katara can talk to Zuko. She tells him how handsome he looks and how much she loves him. She murmurs these words quickly--in the only break with tradition that day, Katara demanded that they be seated with all their friends and not separately.

She does it so she can look around at the people she loves most. Toph, Sokka, Suki, Aang, Zuko --these are the people who bookend her life.

She’s home.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Goretober Day 22: Penance

Prompt: Extra Eyes Fandom: Avatar The Last Airbender Summary: Azula has visions of eternal punishment in the Spirit World.

She knows that she isn’t a good person, if she were, she would have nothing to fear. But she isn’t so she fears a lot and with good reason. She doesn’t quite remember the entirety of it, but she remembers how precise the bolt was. How powerful.Of course it was powerful, it was her to begin with. Just like her crown, Zuzu had stolen that and thrown it back at her.

She remembers pain and her heart racing much too quickly before it stopped altogether. She remembers blackness. When she wakes she knows that she isn’t truly so. She is in the spirit world, she can tell by the color of the sky. It is a red so deep that the comet’s skies don’t compare; a blood red, a sinister red. The red of suffering to come. And then the red fades into a sickly yellow-brown.

Her chest throbs, though it isn’t the pulse of life but a burning beat. With each thrum comes a new searing flare. She brings her fingers to her chest and finds a gaping cavity, black around the edges. This must be where the lightning had found its mark. It doesn’t yet register to her to be afraid. Her mind hasn’t caught up yet.

Azula realizes at a cool draft that she is naked. Naked and pale and--in comparison to the gnarled trees, boulders, and looming ancient shrines--small. She gets to her feet and her heart, dead and shriveling, falls to her feet. She staggers back with a small cry as things come together.

She is in the Spirit World. She is not alive. She has died. She is dead.

Her fingers atop her ailing chest. The pain, she realizes, won’t go away. It won’t heal. She is stuck with that burning hollow feeling. She bends to pick up her heart but she doesn’t know where it has gone. Tears sting the corners of her eyes and she takes a few shaky steps forward. It has to be around somewhere. It had only  just fallen and it hadn’t fallen far.

She watches something snake around a tree; a silvery-grey eel creature. It coils around long-dead bark and stares at her with one glowing red eye.

“H-have you seen my heart?”

It’s mouth twists into a mocking smirk, sharp teeth gleam starkly against a muted backdrop. It knows. She knows that it does. It answers with a laugh as it sinks back into its tree. She wanders about, looking under rocks and in thick bushes but her heart is as missing as it had been in life. But she wants it now. She needs it now.

She sees several other spirits, each horrifying in their own right; a headless hog-monkey and a tall and stocky creature with muscles so dense that they threaten to rip the flesh surrounding them. There is a faceless thing that shudders and spasms on the ground as its body is eaten by fire and a creature made of teeth and brain. She finds several more twitching flaming creatures, before she comes to conclude that those were once people. Living people. Now dead and singed, flaming and screeching perpetually.

Azula feels sick but her body has no outlet for it. She shovels her fear back and tries posing the same question to each spirit and tortured soul that she comes by, “have you seen my heart.”

Only one answers, the brain creature, “you don’t have one. Never did. Not here and not on the other side.”

But she does. She did. She had felt it beating behind her ribcage.

“I want my heart back.”

“If you wanted it, you should have used it.” The brain says, its teeth quiver as it speaks.

Something in her says that the brain has taken it. That something stirs with discontent and an edge of anger that breaks through her far. “It’s my heart! Give it to me.” She ought not to made demands of spirits but she is entitled to her own heart, Zuzu had no right to blast it out of her.

“Very well.” It says calmly. “Follow me.” She should know better. On a more lucid day, she might have. But it is not a lucid day, she is terrified and her mind is not with her. So she follows the brain. It leads her to the edge of a pond. It looks like raspberry or strawberry jam or the innards of a cherry pie. “You want me to go in there?” She crinkles her nose.

“Oh no.” It replies. It wiggles and shifts and a vein bursts free, it extends and points to a smaller hole. “It is down there.”

Azula wanders towards the edge of the crater. It is terribly small. Even for her, it will be a tight squeeze, at least until she makes it to the bottom where it widens out. At the last minute she realizes that the brain probably intends on pushing her forward. She jolts at a motion that doesn’t happen.

“It’s in there.” The brain says again.

She musters up the courage to peer further in and she sees it. Her heart is down there. She shudders again and swallows. She isn’t sure that she will be able to fit into such a narrow crevice but really, what does it matter, she is already dead. She supposes there are worse fates than being wedged in a hole for all eternity. She sucks in her tummy and slips herself into the rocky space. It is uncomfortable and had her lungs any function, they would be screaming in protest. The rocks are jagged and draw scratches and scrapes upon her back and belly as heaves herself down.

Fear ripples through her mind when she finds herself chest deep and unable to go further. If her heart weren’t on the floor of this pit, it would be overwhelmed with dread. Her mind is. “I-I can’t…”

The brain hovers in front of her face. “You aren’t trying hard enough.”

“I am!”

“I guess that you don’t really want it.” It sounds curiously like her father.

“I do!”

“Then try harder.”

Tears burn in her eyes and she tries again, with more viciousness. She succeeds but the rocks shred her chest, opening the wound further. She feels a rock fall into the hole and find a home somewhere within her. And this is accompanied by her nose smacking against the wall and shattering. She screams and then screams again when her legs meet the floor of the pit and snap.

She lays there face down, tormented and bleeding, her hair spilling over her shoulders. Shoulders that tremble as she cries. She reaches for her heart but it is not there. She lifts herself up as much as she can and screams again. A cry born of suffering, loss, and irritation.

“What a good show.” The brain hovers above the pit. “Everyone is watching it.”

“What?” She manages through tears. The rocky wall opens up and something drops, it bounces off of her head and rolls to a stop. At first she thinks that it is a small rock and then it rolls again and looks at her. She only just comprehends it when more of them begin to fall.

Azula scrambles back as quickly as her broken legs permit. Her back meets the other end of the wall and she feels a squelch as one of the eyes ruptures upon her skin. She shudders. “Don’t leave me down here!” She shouts for the brain. “You can’t leave me down here, I’m princess…”

One of the eyes lands in her mouth and she spits it out, gagging and grimacing.

“I don’t even get a please.” The brain frowns.

There are so many eyes now, they bury her waist deep and she can’t stand up. She doesn’t know where all of these eyes are coming from, nor whose they are. But they all stare at her, they all judge her. They judge her for her weakness, for her nakedness, and for the hole in her chest. They look into her eyes and they judge her past and her soul. This is worse then them ogling her venerable body. The depth of them reaches her stomach and then they stop falling.

She still shivers, tears running down her cheeks. “At least let me have my heart.”

This time she gets no answer. The sea of eyes undulates, they shift and form a wave. She goes tense and rigid because she knows what is going to happen. The first onslaught of them force their way into the gaping wound in her chest. She finds herself twitching and writhing as they invade her from within. And when she is laying in a heap they close in around her, blanketing over her and pushing until they fuse with her.

Her screams grow into desperate shrikes as she tries to bat them off but her hands are already reduced to a cluster of eyes. Soon her whole body is a lumpy mass of them, all but her face. The eyes blink and flit about dumbly.

She wants to go home. She wants to escape. She wants to die…

She is already dead. There is no way out. Azula shouts again, but this sound is more like a sob than a scream. There’s no way out, there’s no way out, there’s… She hadn’t even a chance. She doesn’t think that she had one, anyhow. She wishes that she could have gotten a warning. Something that would have saved her or at least salvaged her before this…

“I want to go home.” She whispers to herself. Truthfully she would be okay with her soul simply winking out of existence entirely as though it had never been there to begin with. “I want to go home.”

She utters it again sounding smaller and smaller each time as days turn to weeks and weeks turn to months and months turn into centuries. Eventually she stops talking at all and simply lays there with her pain, with her shame, with her regrets. With those eyes blinking and bobbing upon her body.

Sometimes they show her things. They are always the worst things; her most humiliating moments, her most mournful. They show her her fears and replay the unsavory moments; her mother scolding her, her father reprimanding and abandoning her, Mai and TyLee leaving her. And they remind her of the things she has done, they show her the outcomes. In the beginning she thinks that she was able to feel remorse but then she just feels hollow.

Just when she thinks that her mind is growing numb and desensitizing, they add something new to the mix and she is whimpering all over again. She has long since abandoned hope for release.

She isn’t sure how many aeons have passed before the comes to linger over the pit again. Azula doesn’t say anything. She is beyond words and rational. Beyond repair. Even if she wasn’t she can’t imagine that there is anything to say.  It might have said something, but she is too lost within the throes of unlife to comprehend or even hear.

When her lips finally do move it is more like muscle memory than anything produced by thought, “I want to go home. I just want to go home.”

The brain tosses something down to her. She doesn’t recognize it. She simply stares at it as it beats rhythmically. She puts her head back down and nuzzles it against the rocky floor.

“Take it.” The brain says.

She only reaches for it by impulse. Her fingers wrap around it but do little more. She doesn’t have the willpower nor reason to do much else. Other than let one or two more tears trickle down her cheeks. The eyes move her hand for her, Azula doesn’t resist their tug. A cluster of them roll out of her chest and make room for their companions to fix the object in place. It beats inside of her and she has the faintest impulse to feel relieved. Still, she can’t. She doesn’t feel much of anything anymore. Only fear, regret, and pain.

She closes her eyes and the rest of the eyes close too. She thinks that she has had them shut for a very long time. And when she opens them she is laying on the floor of the coronation square.

She feels terribly woozy and shaky. There is a burning around her chest. Her body still shakes and her ears are ringing. Through the ringing she hears Zuko ask, “she’s dead, isn’t she?”

“She was.”

“Was?”

“Only for a minute though.” Katara replies.

“You brought her back?”

“Just barely.”

And her vision goes black again.

Azula doesn’t say much for a very long time. She doesn’t really speak at all, she thinks that she has said maybe one or two things since they transferred her to the mental health facility nearly three months ago.

She overhears them telling Zuko that she is catatonic. She mostly just stares at her hands. She overhears them admit that they don’t know how to help her. That they can barely get her to eat or drink, much less move about and have discussions.

She doesn’t know how to help herself either. She doesn’t know how to process what she has seen, what she has felt, what she still feels when her dreams are particularly vivid or her hallucinations are hounding her.

She can’t seem to shake the oppressive feeling of dread. A sense of inevitable doom. She is scared. Scared to live and terrified to die. That is the only reason she doesn’t hassle them when they feed and hydrate her.

For the first time in ages, Azula feels the bed dip. “I take it you’re not doing so good?” Zuko asks.

She spares him a look but she thinks that she might be looking right through him. She swallows hard.

He takes her hand. “They say that you don’t talk at all.”

She doesn’t have anything to say. She can’t imagine that they’d understand or believe her.

“I guess that it makes sense. Not many other people have died before.” Zuko continues. “Which is why I brought Aang with me. He might understand.”

This pulls her out of her stupor for a moment. “I killed him.” Likely, it will be the only thing she says for several more months.

Zuko rubs the back of his head. “Uh...yeah.”

.oOo.

When she does finally begin to speak again, it is very soft and sparingly. Aang comes to visit several times and several months come to pass. He finally manages to coax her into conversation when he mentions that there’s a sinister side of the Spirit World. That he has seen it and that he knows what it can be like.

It is the first time she feels as though she isn’t truly insane. She doesn’t delve into the details, just that she knows that she needs to stay alive for as long as she can because she knows that suffering is the only thing that awaits her in death. She mentions the brain spirit and Aang seems to flinch.

“Yeah, that one is...it scares me and I didn’t even do anything wrong...I don’t think.”

She only nods.

“You don’t have to be afraid of dying.” Aang says. “It always happens one day.”

Her stomach lolls and she fights back tears.

“You can come with me and help me clean up. There’s still a lot of war damage in the Earth Kingdom. And the Southern Water Tribe needs help growing.” He continues, “you’re really powerful and smart and I think that you can do a lot of good for the world.”

“Good?”

“I know, confusing concept.” Toph crosses her arms.

“What’s she doing here?”

“You don’t really talk to me so I thought that maybe you’d talk to Toph.” Aang shrugs.

“Oh.”

.oOo.

She takes him up on his offer. She travels the world with he and Toph and then eventually just he alone after Toph’s declaration that she doesn’t ever want to go to a place where the temperature drops that low.

Azula doesn’t fancy it either but she is used to things that discomfort her. Mostly she has helped rebuild Ba Sing Se’s wall and other structures. Occasionally Aang would make an odd stop and she would help tend a garden or two or watch a hippo cow for a day. Small mundane tasks but the people always smile at her as though she has showered them with gold. She doesn’t understand, she isn’t that good of company. She isn’t good company at all. No one has the heart to tell her.

Heart. She clutches at her chest as she tries to sleep. Sometimes she remembers what it is like to not have a heart and she doesn’t sleep. She feels eyes all over her. She feels violated and helpless.

Aang usually holds her on those nights and she doesn’t push him away. Even then she still can’t bring herself to speak much during their travels. Every now and again when he exclaims, “look how beautiful that sunset is!” Or, “I’ve never seen a meadow that green!” She will nod and say, “yeah, it’s nice.”

She appreciates his attempts to cheer her but she hasn’t felt happy since her death. She isn’t sure that she is able to anymore. She only feels varying degrees fear and dismay.

One day they visit one of the first farms that she helped tend. They remember her and they do it with fondness rather than fear. Granted they remember her as the one with the sad and tired eyes. But they tell her that she had saved them from losing their farm and that--for some reason--their son likes her. She vaguely remembers him. She had gone through the motions of play with him. It was a pretend battle and she’d let him win.

She guesses that this is why he asks her to play soldier with him again. He is always smiling, always enthusiastic. He boldly declares that, “I’ve always wanted to fight a real fire nation soldier!”

She doesn’t have the heart to tell him that it’s better if he never has to. Instead she says, “I was a soldier.”

“Prove it!”

And she lowers her collar just enough to show him the edge of her scar.

His face lights up even further. “I beat a real soldier in battle!?”

She nods.

He beams up at her with more joy than she has ever seen on anyone. He startles her when he throws himself at her and wraps her up in a tight hug. That is the first time she felt something like happiness.

.oOo.

Azula still doesn’t say much but she smiles every now and again. Zuko and Aang, and the lot of them have come to accept that she is simply a silent person now. She wasn’t very loud to begin with.

Generally, she gets along with most people and most people don’t look at her with fear anymore. Typically they seem rather indifferent towards her, and she doesn’t particularly mind. As time progresses she comes to realize that people actually like to talk to her. She doesn’t know why at first.

They, most of the time strangers, walk up to her and just start talking. They tell her things; sad things, embarrassing things, what makes them angry or stressed. Once in a while they will tell her a funny or happy story and she will offer a simple, albeit awkward, congratulations. She doesn’t have to say anything at all and she finds that they usually prefer it that way.

She realizes that they like her because she listens. She listens and says nothing; no condescending advice, no judgement. Only subtle nods and someone to vent to. She is good at keeping secrets.

Azula gives them an ear to listen and they give her company. With so many stories and confessions in her mind, she doesn’t think too much of the Spirit World. When she does think of it, of that cruel brain and those horrible eyes, she falls apart. Aang knows exactly what she is thinking about and she will only talk to him. Because he already knows. He has already seen…

He cradles her in his arms and insists that it will be alright. That she is a good person and that she won’t have to worry about those spirits again. He hugs her and eventually, he kisses her. And then it comes out, all of the grisly details and all of the emotions that continuously afflict her.

She talks more after that.

And by forty years, she finds stability, normalcy. She continues to travel the world with Aang and when she is home she continues to let people dump stories and troubles on her. She visits the boy again and comes to know him as Bo-yuk, he is in his late teens now and she teaches him to fight.

By forty-five years she has established herself as a therapist and specializes with coaxing conversation out of those who had been written off as lost causes, out of the catatonic.

She doesn’t think about the brain spirit until she is well into her eighties. Aang had passed some twenty years before and she had taken to teaching the new Avatar to firebend. She picked up on it much quicker than Aang ever did. But those days had come to pass too, she had practiced her firebending well into old age but she had reached her limit at eighty-one.

Azula is tired, very much so. Katara is by her side and assures her that Zuko and Aang are both waiting and that she and Toph will probably be on their way soon. It is at the beginning of her final breath that she thinks about the brain and those eyes.

For a moment she is petrified. And when she wakes in the Spirit World she is tearful. And just as he always has, Aang takes her into his arms and promises that she will be okay.

[kaermenna]

Mark In History

@idonthatemaiko​ READ ON FF.NET || READ ON AO3

A\N: Another old draft. It seems that I have a very strong habit of collecting WIPs.

Zuko’s 15th birthday was during his banishment.

There was no party, no feast, and no celebration. Actually, his uncle wanted to hold a small festive dinner and hire a music band, but he stopped all the old man’s plans. After more than three years away from home, he didn’t care about birthdays, he couldn’t stand celebratory meals. His entire focus was on finding the Avatar.

(Still, he felt warm on the inside when he found a note from Iroh in his room, and he cried silently before falling asleep).

Azula’s 15th birthday, however, was a spectacle to behold. Especially considering his sister’s taste for grandiosity. A showcase of opulence, he heard, and now he wonders if that showcase of splendor was a sign of how empty she was inside. Mai told him a few bits of it, of the proud speech his father made in the grand opening and of the carriage that paraded the princess around the capital, as well as how the crowd would throw flowers in the path of the entourage, marvel at the fireworks spectacle and nibble at the free delicacies of the nobility, rejoicing with the benevolence of the royal family and vibrating along three full days. In retrospect, Zuko is almost sure that Ozai was most likely preparing her to succeed him already, gaining the people's favor for his new heir.

But all of that happened a long time ago, and Zuko brushes all of his bad memories away the second his daughter steps in.

She’s turning fifteen today, and yet it feels like he first held in his arms just yesterday. She’s turning fifteen and she looks gorgeous in her festive clothes, with her red robes seeming to be even more radiant today, and despite hiding the smile, her face is absolutely radiant.

Izumi only takes a few steps to get closer to her parents, but Zuko can’t help but admire her majestic strides and how she exudes a confident and captivating aura, so he sighs adoringly, pride blossoming in his chest, his eyes refusing to focus on anything else. 

He opens his mouth to congratulate her once again, but he’s speechless and his mouth hangs open. He can’t think of anything to say, even though he was practicing his speech with his wife just a few seconds ago.

His daughter giggles at this reaction, finding funny that such an eloquent Firelord can lose his composure like that.

“Yes, Zuko.” Standing at his side, Mai voices his thoughts out loud impatiently, as everyone can see his heart stamped on his face, and rolls her eyes, “She’s beautiful and all grown up now. We’re all aware. Now stop marveling at that, you’re making me feel old.”

“I can’t help it,” he doesn’t stop smiling, despite his wife’s reprimand, “She’s so big! And so pretty!”

“Just like she was this morning…”

“Mom. Dad,” the teenager finally the teenager finally speaks, and despite using an annoyed tone, she smiles as well, “Enough, please!”

“Forgive your father, Izumi,” Mai sides with the girl, and Zuko feels betrayed for a moment, “He just can’t believe he has such an incredible daughter.”

Then it’s the girl’s turn to roll her eyes at her dad’s silly antics, before she excuses herself to greet the guests at her banquet.

When Zuko was fifteen, he never thought this day would come. By then he was too engrossed in his quest to search for the Avatar, and the two years of no results and no leads were making him grow impatient. The long tedious wait left him enraged and irritable, to the point that any sort of positive thoughts, such as getting married and having a child, had rarely been on his mind. At that age, Zuko could never imagine that one day he would be filled with joy because his daughter, the pride of his life, had just made her first official public appearance on her fifteenth birthday.

The tears are not noticed by the people present, as they stand a bit distant from the crowd. And for the first time that’s not because of Mai’s aversion to interactions with people, but because they want their Princess to be the center of all attention today. The hall is full of people on the lower floor in utter silence and they are still upstairs in complete bliss, watching Izumi prepare herself for the opening speech.

The proud parents observe as she thanks for their presence and for their best wishes on her birthday, and speaks of her duty and love for the Fire Nation. The words come from her heart, as she had spent the past week revising and practicing it until she was satisfied, even though Zuko had told her it was perfect from the very first time.

“She really is incredible.” He mutters when the girl is done and the hall is filled with thunderous applause.

“Of course she is,” Mai’s reply is not sarcastic this time, as she smiles just as adoringly as him, her eyes shining and never once moving away from her little girl, “She’s our daughter after all.”

“Yes,” he nods faintly, still marveling at the way she walks when she climbs down the remaining steps to the lower floor and personally talk to the guests, “And we did a good job with this one.”

“What else did you expect? And to think you were panicking when I got pregnant...” 

Mai smirks and he sighs internally, knowing she would always use that anecdote to mock him whenever the opportunity presented itself. 

However, this time he can’t feel the usual embarrassment that always comes with her reminder. Now he's totally resolved to focus only on the good and happy memories, leaving the bitter ones for the bitter days. So when Mai recounts that story he can only remember just how important she had been for him in these past few years, and how much her support was important when it was time to raise a child.

“Thank you, Mai. You know I couldn’t do it without you.”

“Didn’t I say it, already? Stop thanking me for that,” she scolds him good-humoredly, her voice in a rare soft tone, “Izumi is our daughter. She wouldn’t be who she is today if the two of us weren’t there together.”

“I can’t help but feel thankful." His hand moves to her waist as hugs her discreetly, “Thank you. For everything, not just her. For all that’s still to come.”

The solemn words take her by surprise. She turns her face to look at him, and that's when she realizes he was already gazing at her. His eyes are still shining from when Izumi stepped out in her festive clothes, but now they have more depth in them. 

Zuko rarely says such things to her, but whenever he does it’s always with solemnity and from the bottom of his heart. 

And whenever he does, Mai just can't help the teasing.

“You’re mushy today aren’t you?”

“I’m just so happy!” Zuko doesn't mind it. He is mushy - more than he ever was; more than he ever thought he could be - and he knows that it's best to admit it at once rather than trying to deny it. He is so mushy that he can't even pretend he isn't.

And there really aren't greater things than being mushy over his daughter on her special day. So he's fine with that.

“You know, she’ll be a great Firelord one day. Better than me.”

“We’re at the beginning of a new era. The next generation is our renovation, and they will soon surpass us,” Mai nods, also thinking about the bright future that would soon come, “But they are our legacy as well.”

“Sure, sure. And I’m certain that, rather than all of my achievements and accomplishments, I'll be proud of her the most. And history will remember us as the Firelord Izumi’s parents.” 

Beside him, Mai snorts, the festive mood helping her relax enough to crack a joke.

“Speak for yourself.” She nudges him slightly, and imperceptibly to the crowd, a move she mastered right after they got married, “I’ll be forever known as that gloomy girl who sighs a lot.”

[zutara]

Just a question: we've seen you answer how the Zutara relationship would've worked for both Zuko and Katara. So how, in your opinion, would that relationship have affected the world? Since Katara would've married Zuko at some point, she would've become wife of the Fire Lord, as well as the first member of Fire Nation royalty to be of another nationality, let alone a different bender. I've never seen ANYTHING relating this aspect of their relationship, so I was curious what you thought.

Hello my dearest anon! Disquieted here! 

Thank you SO much for this question; it’s one of the very best we’ve gotten! I’ll try my best to do it justice. Be warned though, I’ve written something similar to an essay as reply, so read ahead at your own peril! 🙈 Dalz will be answering your ask separately lateron as well giving you her own pov on the matter. 

Also, please keep in mind that I always pretend LoK never happened, that these are merely personal ramblings and should not be taken to heart, and that there are some things wemust discuss before getting to the center of your question. So, without further ado….! 

Part I: War is war.

I’ve never doubted that the reconstruction of anation, (let alone the entire world!), wouldn’t come with opposition and variousdifficulties for all parties involved.

The main ones, concentrating on the post-war / Zuko’scoronation setting, would probably be, one: opposition by extremist still loyalto Osai and the fire supremacy ideals. Two: those who’d try to take advantageof the chaos and try to seize power for themselves. And three: tradition, whichis a huge influence in the ATLA world regardless of the nation in question.

And yet…we have to remembertwo very important things; the people backing Zuko’s claim to the throne and mostimportantly, what this war meant for everyone regardless of nationality.

We see very early on in the show the great toll thewar has taken on all nations. War is ugly, war is cruel, and war isunforgiving. It multiplies fear, violence and pain regardless of what sideyou’re standing on. War is war. So much that we even see some cases where thoseon the ‘same side’ take advantage of their fellow countrymen and the manycircumstances war has put them through like we see, for example, the earthkingdom guards do with the villagers in ZukoAlone. The show is full of other countless examples (umm Jet, anyone?) ofthe many effects war has on people.

It’s made clear from the start of the show the FireNation is the enemy and the soulless monsters destroying everything andeveryone in their path to world domination. I know that assumption is understandablebecause for the most part, the representation of the Fire Nation people we are givenis exactly like that, but you have to remember something; we are usually onlyshown the point of view of the royal family, their associates and militaryhigher ups/soldiers.  Please keep thispoint in mind before you come after me with pitchforks and torches over what I‘mabout to say because I’d like to remind everyone of an unpopular opinion: FireNation citizens suffered because of the war too. Perhaps never anywhere asbadly as the rest of the nations, but in some way or another I can guarantee theysuffered too.

I’m talking about the average everyday women and menhere.

Please remember the reason Zuko was punished andscarred by his father to begin with. He was defending his people, refusing the mindless slaughter of soldiers sent to thefront lines as meaningless sacrifices. Although I have no point of referencewe’re also talking about a hundred year war. Imagine how many soldiers you needevery year to keep your reign of terror going and what waging war implies for acountry. Maybe there was a mandatory military draft calling all males 14 andolder to arms; maybe the lowest income citizens had no choice but to work onfactories that paid them dirt wages to meet the demand for powder, coal, ships,and whatever else needed to finance the war. I’d imagine Osai wasn’t veryforgiving to those who tried opposing him in any way, shape or form either, sosocial injustice and lack of freedom of speech is something I see happening ona daily basis in the Fire Nation. The riches coming from the sacking of citiesprobably never made it past the Fire Lord and his higher-ups. It’s the oldeststory in the book; the rich get richer and the poor get worst. What’s more, theloss of life is still grieved by families no matter the flag.

And if you still don’t believe me allow me to remindyou of one of the very foundations of our ship; the fact that these beautifulkids suffered the same loss regardless of who they were.

Katara: You’re a terrible person, you know that? Always following us,hunting the Avatar, trying to capture the world’s last hope for peace. But whatdo you care? You’re the Fire Lord’s son. Spreading war and violence and hatredis in your blood.

Prince Zuko: You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Katara: I don’t? How dare you. You have no idea what this war has putme through. Me personally. The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

Prince Zuko: I’m sorry. That’ssomething we have in common.

THAT’S SOMETHING WE HAVE IN COMMON!!!! (x)  THE WATER TRIBE“PEASANT” GIRL AND THE CROWN PRINCE OF THE FIRE NATION WERE BOTH PUT THROUGHHELL AND BACK BECAUSE OF THE SAME DAMN WAR, SUFFERING GREATLY DIRECTLY ANDINDIRECTLY AT THE HANDS OF THE VERY SAME PSYCHOPATH. Never forget that.

With all of that said, now think: the war is finallyover and people who have been oppressed for GENERATIONS are finally free. Soldierson both sides can finally go home to their families and start their lives anew.Cities can start rebuilding, trade can be reestablished. The dead can properlybe mourned; many will feel as if they’re breathing for the first time in theirentire lifetime because imagine what is like living in fear every single day ofyour life. But now it’s all over and it’s all thanks to the Avatar and hisfriends, one of which includes the very son of Osai; the banished Fire Prince who fought against his own family toreestablish peace and balance to the world. Zuko’s actions spoke louder than words ever could.  And the world had no choice but to listen.

Part II: The best leaders lead their people through example. 

And that is exactlywhat Zuko did even before becoming Fire Lord.

● Because Zuko became the embodiment of sacrifice andredemption; because he became a living example that people can change despitewhat they’ve been taught to believe their entire lives.

●Because Zuko was brave. Because Zuko has always been brave, even when he thought hewasn’t.  

●Because Zuko became a living example that one mustalways choose to do what is right, even if it means going against your very ownfamily.  

●And because Zuko became a shining beacon of hope and a chance for a newbeginnings (and perhaps even redemption too?) for many people, and I thinkthat’s beautiful. I think Zuko is beautiful. 

++Skip if you want…((Note:The Gaang itself sends a powerful message of unity just by existing; ‘The warheroes of the century and the Avatar’s most trustee companions are composed ofa high born blind girl who just happens to be the world’s greatest earth bender,Earth Rumble consecutive champion, and the only metal bender in the world; akickass Kyoshi warrior commander girl from Kyoshi island; a Southern WaterTribe warrior and master strategist; the first female water bender master and thegreatest healer the world has ever seen; and of course, the Fire Nation prince;Fire bender master, warrior, dual sword specialist, and the bravest men in theworld. Because it takes courage to face yourself and your demons, it takescourage to forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness of those you wronged. Zukois precious and I will defend him until my dying day.))…end++

I think for the most part, people would respect andadmire Zuko on principle just for doing what he did.  I’d like to believe his people accepted him astheir new Fire Lord without much resistance, knowing very well that his reignushered in a new era altogether.  

A new era of peace, balance, and harmony between thenations; and that is exactly what awedding between Katara and Zuko would symbolize. (X)

“Never askyour people to do something you do not have the courage, or the determination,to do. If you want peace, start between the two of you (….) You two are their leaders and if you canset an example and show them how much you are willing to give for this peace,they will follow. The question then is how much are you willing to give?” –Hawksong, Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

If leaders set an example, the people will follow;and Zuko and Katara were willing to give up everything for peace. Moreimportantly, they became a clear example of what life could be again betweenthe nations if everyone gave each other a second chance. Their union wouldreaffirm the belief that peace, respect, friendship and even love could stillbe possible between once warring peoples. That despite the past the future wasbright, and that acceptance was the only way forward.  

I’ve always imagined Aang would tell people storiesof how the world used to be before the Great War, but that Katara and Zuko wouldshow them every day through their union how the world could be once again.

Diplomatically speaking a foreign union throughmarriage would actually be very beneficial for the Fire Nation since wearinessof their motives would remain for quite some time after the war. So marriagebetween the Fire Nation and the Southern Water Tribe would be a great way tostart closing that rift of mistrust and to reassure people of the changestaking place from root to stem.

As to what it would mean for the Fire Nation RoyalHouse…I’m sure to some it’d be scandalous at first. Some would even deem themarriage unpatriotic. But what I think would cause the biggest uproar in theFire Nation would be the possibility of having a potential water bender as anheir. The nation would’ve never accepted someone with another element as ruler,so my guess is that Zuko and Katara had to compromise certain things to havetheir marriage accepted. Most likely they had to agree to some sort of skewedlaw assuring that regardless of birth order or gender, the crown would go tothe first fire bender of their children, and that in case that didn’t happen,Zuko’d have to leave a different successor in place unless Iroh took charge orhad any further family of his own.  I’msure every fiber in Katara’s and Zuko’s being raged against such a notion, butsometimes in order to lead you have to accept some unfair bullshit to keep the peace.I’d like to believe things changed with the years, but you can’t uproot a wholecountry off their identity overnight either. 

Apart from that the marriage would’ve made sense fora few reasons. Now, you can call me delusional and a hopeless optimist all youwant, but I think the marriage between our loves would’ve worked out splendidlybecause:

1-In the greater scheme of things this union representedsomething far more meaningful than a simple unconventional marriage. Itrepresented the start of a new era, the first period of peace in a thousandyears.

Zuko’s reign represented progress, change, evolutionand a brand new slate for the fire nation. I feel tradition would’ve beenhonored as long as it didn’t indulged toxic tendencies that could have themfall back into old destructive habits.

The brave new world they were building alongside theAvatar required for a serious re-evaluation of old patterns. I’m sure many “traditions,”for lack of a better word, had to be eradicated altogether. The great thing is wehad seen this mindset already taking place during the show way before the startof the last battle. People were always aware a radical change was needed, sowhat if part of that drastic change involves a royal wedding between twobenders of different elements!?!?

Especially when the future Fire Lady in question hadalready so beautifully defied and single handedly pulverized every singlemisogynistic belief the North Pole ever had in a single morning? (X) Because let usbe honest now, if Katara hadn’t taken a stand and fought tooth and nail for herrights from the very beginning she wouldn’t have been able to save Aang’s andZuko’s lives respectively later on. Nor would she have fought in the finalbattle or taken such a lead role in helping so many people dare to stand up forthemselves. Like, DO YOU GUYS EVER STOP TO THINK ABOUT EXACTLY HOW CRUCIALKATARA’S ROLE WAS IN THIS WHOLE ORDEAL?! IF KATARA HADN’T FROM THE VERYBEGINNING DARED TO GO AGAINST PROTOCOL AND THE TRADITIONS IMPOSED ON HER PERSON,AANG WOULDN’T EVEN HAVE MADE IT OUT OF THAT ICEBERG!!!!!! 

Imagine having such a woman as your ruler and rolemodel. Representation is SO important guys; I cannot stress this point enough.Anyone with half a brain cell could’ve seen how influential Master Katara would’vebecome the world over.

So tell me, who else better than Katara to help theyoung Fire Lord rid the royal household of harmful “traditions”? Who else betterequipped to deal with the nonsensical old pricks insisting on the good old toxicways, but Katara? No matter the question, the answer will always be Katara.

Actually, I don’t think we talkabout this enough, but Zuko choosing Katara as his final battle companion tofight one of the most significant people in his life meant absolutely everything. He chose her not onlybecause of their oh-so-delicious combat compatibility, but because hetrusted her explicitly above all else; because she understood.

Hechose her because she forgave him; and because he was willing to do anythingand everything to earn every bit of that forgiveness.

Hechose her because he saw Katara for who she truly was; the light, the dark andall the other colors in-between.  Becausehe saw her stripped of all control and pretense; saw her raw and bleeding and hurtand angry and all he could do wasaccept her without a moment’s hesitation.

Hechose her because she saw him just as clearly as he saw her.

Hechose her because he loved her. And because part of him knew he always would.

Because when Zuko choseKatara, he was choosing her as his partner for life.

And no one else would do, only Katara. (X)

2-Because I think the love and respect sharedbetween the couple would be so obvious, so contagious, and so new to the palaceit’d actually inspire people.

I genuinelythink it’s been centuries since the royal Fire Nation palace witnessed a truelove match between royals. And the public does love a good fairy-tale like lovestory. Say what you may, but we all want one.  (X)

And 3- Because both Fire Lord and Fire Lady areperfect equal counterparts of each other in every single level possible (X). One could even argue that Katara isoverqualified for the job, and I mean that as a compliment to Katara’sabilities and not as an insult to the position.

Katara at this point is not only a war hero, but amaster water bender, a talented healer, probably the only blood bender alive,and the daughter of the Southern Water Tribe making her royalty in her ownright. Not to mention a trusted friend to both the Avatar and the Fire Lord, ofwhich neither would be standing there if it hadn’t been for her.

But as youall already know, our blue-eyed water bender is so much more than that. Katarais compassionate beyond measure, she tries to be just to a fault, and she’dnever turn her back on those in need regardless of their nationality. She isvivacious, passionate, stubborn and willful, with an intense fire burninginside of her any fire bender would envy. From a young age Katara has beenextremely resourceful and responsible, more than capable of smoothly leadingand operating any community or household. (In this case it’d be a palace but whatever,let’s not get into small technicalities).Much sooner than later I’m sure the young waterbender master would win the love and favor or all her people while helping her husband rule with fairnessand thoughtfulness.

I do have to admit I’ve always envisioned Katara asan ambassador first before marrying. I have no trouble imagining herrepresenting her water tribe and helping re-establish trade with the rest ofthe nations. Marriage wouldn’t change that, of course. If anything it’d enhanceher possibilities to expand her influence. 

I guess what I’m trying to say with all of this is that it’sdifficult for me to believe people didn’t want peace as badly as our kids did,and that the change in power didn’t receive more support than opposition. Ijust can’t fathom a marriage which would unite two once warring nations and helplead the world in a brand new positive direction would be looked down as adisgrace.

I’m not naïve I know some people inevitably would. Change takessome getting used to and our kids would have to work hard to keep the peace everysingle day for some time……but if there is peace and hope and safety then peoplecan begin to thrive once again. If people thrive it’ll create more commerce, spikesin population and thus, demand. It’s like the domino effect; one set of events setsoff a chain reaction of similar events. 

In no way am I saying there wouldn’t be problems or mistakesmade.

All I’m saying is that I have faith in the abilities of the newleaders taking the reins of power, and the example they’d hence put forth wouldbe a force of nature to behold. And perhaps that for now is enough to start a changeand a new future build on peace.  

To finally finish, Zutara happening would symbolize the verysame things their world needed to restore balance and peace among the nations: mutualrespect, understanding, selflessness, love, tolerance,harmony and the blatant honesty to openly talk about all the damage done inorder to move on. To help each other up and continue to push each other everyday to evolve and become better than they were before. As the love between ourbeautiful kids do.

Thank you for your time during this 8 page Word essay. May you beblessed forever. (✿◠‿◠) 

[savegraduation]

John Hensle, 1993-2016

It was three years ago today that my friend and fellow NYRAnian John Hensle passed away.

I first met John in 2010 when he was 16. I had finished the first draft of my libretto for The Bittersweet Generation (then called Angst). For those who haven't read my previous posts wherein I reference it, The Bittersweet Generation is a rock musical I'm writing that tells the story of a year in the life of six teens (Melanie Hayworth, Bryce Schlitter, Paul Moreno, Trina Evangelisti, Alan Isaacs, and Sarah Chiang) in the fictional Sun Belt suburb of Armando, starting in the summer of 2007 just before school begins, and ending with the alternative prom in 2008. They experience their struggles with youth rights issues. Their high school, Dulcevida High, has an assistant-principal named Mr. Pittman who lectures students about how they "must obey the rules", despite being very underhanded himself, a social conformist math teacher named Mrs. Dahlgren, and a believe-the-worst-stereotypes-about-Millennials AP Bio teacher named Mr. Orozco, among other faculty. One student is even framed for doing graffiti in the boys' restroom by Mr. Pittman as revenge for being intransigent when his teacher and assistant-principal expect him to take his hat off. It is highly recommended reading. (Oh, and the songs are great too.)

I had the libretto and lyrics, but wanted someone to set my lyrics to music. John, who was posting under the screenname Badlands1790, contacted me by PM on the NYRA Internet forum, telling me he was willing to collaborate on my rock musical. He said he played guitar and had had writer's block "for the longest time". He put up a YouTube video for our song "Students of the World, Unite!", which he later took down. "Students of the World, Unite!", the song sung at the climax of the story, is a pop-punky rocking tune that sounds something like Green Day, the Offspring, or Lit. John's melisma on such lines as "Now we form a wall that is gia-ant" is superb.

I researched John Hensle's activities with NYRA and learned that John had coauthored a booklet to help youth with students' rights issues with a number of other NYRAnians. I maintained an interest in John's posts on the NYRA board.

After a few Facebook conversations with John, I discovered John and I had many things in common. I discovered, for instance, that we were both youth rights supporters and both rocked out. We were both fascinated with drugs. We also share our dislike for the way the holidays are hyped and our deist religious views. There are some differences, though. For example, John is an INTP per the Myers-Briggs taxonomy of personality, while I'm an ENFP. And John was an avid cyclist, whereas hearing or reading the word "bxke" makes me have to pick my navel due to my logaesthesia (it feels as if a jagged piece of metal is caught in my navel).

Shortly after we met, I discussed my logaesthesia with John. He told me he had been diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 2 years old, but called for an end to all the IEP's in the eighth grade after he stopped meeting the diagnostic criteria. He had his diagnosis revoked, and said it was the only time a student with a diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder had been undiagnosed and taken out of special ed in his school district.

Once I was discussing the cynicism that led many people to McCarthyesquely accuse youth rights supporters of being pedophiles, and commented that if a state senator or assemblyperson wants to lower her or his state's age of consent from 18 to 16, someone in the audience is sure to claim that that politician really wants to touch 7-year-olds' junk. John replied: "Yeah, I wish the general public could have intellectual debates about actually understanding articulate points, instead of reacting to a word or two and painting a negative stereotype. The world would be a lot better of a place if we could do that." That has become one of my favorite John Hensle quotes of all time!

Another time John said: "Youth is largely a relative construct, I would agree . . . but it's a matter of society seeing potential in youth. Society does not see youth as a period immediately useful to it so it marginalizes it and doesn't give young people meaningful opportunities."

When I asked John about his religion, John said: "I have come to believe in destiny and it's a great way to live life. You can't prove it either way, so you might as well believe what makes you happiest is true."

Sometimes when I created art, I'd listen to John Hensle's masterpiece with Secret Lands, "Voyager Golden Record". It is still my favorite Secret Lands song, as it makes me think of creating alien conlangs!

John hoped to meet me in person when he was coming over to the West Coast, but that never materialized. John began smoking weed and attending Buddhist meditation sessions and later Bahá'í temples in college. As his college years progressed, John became deeply into weed and later psychedelics. He once rode his car into the wilderness under the influence of drugs. He became a Shia LaBeouf fan and suggested I try a guided psychedelic experience to help me with my logaesthesia. In 2015, John was diagnosed with schizophrenia. While he had been a down-to-earth, even cynical realist when I met him -- he reminded me of Howe & Strauss' description of the Nomad archetype -- his drug-induced schizophrenia made John start to sound like what Howe & Strauss would call a Prophet instead. All this for a Millennial born in 1993. (Although, to be fair, few Millennials I know fit the dutiful authoritarian description of the Straussian generational theory.) At the end of 2015, he closed down his Facebook account. I emailed him, and he replied that there were too many people he didn't care about following him on Facebook (but that I wasn't one of said people). In May of 2016, his Facebook account was reactivated. I last spoke with John on October 22. We never met in person.

In mid-December of 2016, I was shattered when I went to John's Facebook wall and saw messages about how he had passed away. At first I was just numb -- in shock -- but then I lay down on my bed and started to feel ill. I knew John was into psychedelics, so at first I suspected it was a drug overdose, but then I read the obituary that said he "passed away on Dec. 5, 2016, in his sleep". At first I was just in shock -- stunned. Then I lay on my bed and felt really bad.

When I heard John had passed away, I thought about the things Landau & Hensle will never be able to do together, like accept music awards. I read the stale obituary, which didn't do justice to this amazing friend with an amazing and unconventional mind. I want to meet John again, but I don't know when or under what circumstances it's going to be. I want to share so many new songs with him, but I don't know whether he's hearing them as I play.

Until December of 2016, my circle of friends didn't overlap much with John's circle of friends. To the people in my life, John was just "the boy who's writing the music for James' play". And to John's Facebook friends, I was just "the boy who's writing a rock musical with John". But after John passed away, I've had his friends reach out to me.

I wrote John Hensle's mother on Facebook on January 3. For almost 5 months, she didn't even read my IM. Then, on June 2, she read my IM and friended me. I later learned that John was hit by an 18-wheeler while riding his bicycle in Terre Haute (where he’s from) in November. He had his tibia replaced with a rod, and John said, "Thank you all. I hope I didn't bum out your day too much." as he was lifted into the ambulance. On December 5, John finally passed away. The official cause of death was given as cardiac arrhythmia.

John jammed with Daniel Mutchler in the John Hensle & Daniel Mutchler Unnamed Project. He also did a number of songs on a project called Secret Lands, which are up at Soundcloud. Secret Lands released such songs as "Trap", "Ebbinghaus", "Floating" (about his transmale ex-girlfriend), and "The Final Girl Lives On", which can be read at the /secretlands directory on Soundcloud. I enjoyed all the times I spent songwriting with John and remember the dreams we share to have our music become part of the national repertoire.

I never met John in person, even though we discussed meeting up on many occasions. Our friendship was an online friendship, and yet it was much more than another online friendship. We were like soulmates. We were artistic partners. I was his brother from another mother.

After Avatar composer James Horner was killed in a plane crash, someone wrote, "I hope, you are somewhere, you would want to be after the death". This is the best wish John can receive. I, too, hope John went where he wanted to go, instead of the popularized version of the Christian Heaven where angels play harps and sit on clouds all day, doing notiing but singing songs that never run out of things to say about the glory of God and how he has saved us all from our sins.

And that song, "Students of the World, Unite!"? A few days after John passed away, I searched for it in my email box at Yahoo, and finally found a demo version of John singing the first verse, with his guitar, on video. You may email me at savegraduation@yahoo.com if you'd like a copy.

In commemoration of John today, I've been listening to his favorite artists on my iPod -- the ones I also have (Muse, Primitive Radio Gods, the Sundays, Third Eye Blind).

John has always had the view towards life and death that Patrick Henry had:"Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!" He believes life is not worth living if you can't enjoy it, which is a very youth rights attitude. It's ageists who believe in enforcing punitive laws like curfews and MIP's that punish teens "in order to protect them from their own stupidity". His views on life and death are attested to in his song Six Feet Below.

Although I'm sad my friend passed away three years ago today, I hold onto my conviction that it would have been unspeakably wrong to arrest him for smoking weed and trying hallucinogens in college, while his brain was supposedly still developing according to the "25" myth. (Technically, your brain is still developing during the college years, but it turns out this is a canard, as science has now discovered that the brain continues to develop and change all throughout a person's life. It's like saying a 50-year-old shouldn't have any legal rights because her brain is "not finished changing".) It was John's choice, and John's having the freedom to choose drugs without being arrested or jailed for it was so much more important than whether John had a capacity to make what social-conservative arbiters would judge as "good" decisions.

Here's to John Hensle, youth-rightser extraordinaire. You don't look a day over 23. (OK, maybe 5 months over 23.)

R.I.P. John Alfred Hensle, July 5, 1993 - December 5, 2016

[mi6012stevenhaggie]

Critical Analysis

As with every project, I struggled for a good number of weeks on deciding exactly what to do. As it was stated, that your final project really defines the route you want to take into the animation industry. This really had me worried as I still don't really know exactly what I would like to do.

I decided to go with what I knew, and what I had always been involved in, making a music video. It took me a while to pick a track to use as I had no recent material, having put my music on hold while I am at Uni.

 I picked a track that I thought had lots of strong visual ideas, I had always imagined a groundhog day scenario for the song, where a man sits in a chair all day not really doing much. I used this as a basis to form my idea. The lyrical content links to many different subjects, such as social media addiction, social exclusion, depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, repetitive lifestyle, routine, trapped in the system, simulation, virtual reality and many more, which can be picked out in the lyrics. So I researched these areas, to build my idea on solid foundations, and form some strong visual representations.

 I was keen to build on the compositing module and do some kind of compositing for this project, but the more I planned it out, the more I thought it would work entirely in 3D, but with added composite footage of me performing the song, to the actual animation instead, so the opposite of what I had been doing really.

 Once I had my idea down, I began to plan it out, using all the techniques learnt from previous modules. I broke down the character design and modelling module again, and repeated all the stages of that process to make sure I was doing all that needed to be done. Bible, Colour Sheet, Movement Sheets, Negative space etc. I created two characters, one is a male, wearing large sunglasses, dressed in shorts and t shirt. The other is like the manifestation of all of his fears and worries (demons) which only becomes visible as he visibly becomes worn down by the repetition of his everyday life. I wanted to create the kind of Bill Murray groundhog day effect to it, but I also loved the scene in Westworld, where the man discovers he has been made into one of the hosts. As we see each day repeating for him, living out the same scenarios with the same person, until he glitches and things go downhill pretty quickly. I liked the idea and wanted to bring a little of that into my piece too. As the climax of my video results in the characters environment glitching and a door appears, but the door is just painted on the wall, the character kicks down the wall and reveals he is in fact in a large white space surrounded by other 'sets' where he has been living. He turns to look back into his home, taking off his glasses, we find out that he was just an avatar in a virtual reality scenario for a real human, who is left standing, holding a VR headset in a large white open space surrounded by nothingness.

I created the the T-pose images and modelled the characters using Maya. I was a little rusty with doing a lot of these things so had to watch a few tutorial videos again to recap how to do certain things. I only had to UV map one of the characters for texturing as I intended the shadow like man to be completely black, casting no shadows and reflecting no light, so just a dead blackness, only with 2 eyes reflecting the light. I also think I may render him out separately so that I can composite him n the shots with some transparency possibly, still unsure on that part. I enjoyed texturing my character using UV snapshot in Photoshop, and trying to create a nice looking texture and bump map for him, only a really subtle amount. Feedback from a few people have stated he looks a bit like a Muppet, and I think that works really well for this.

 I created rigs for the characters using Advanced Skeleton again, following the procedures taught to us last year, checking back on last years blog for reminders. I really enjoyed this process, trial and error of getting the joints in the correct places for the movement you desire. Then came the weight painting, I had a lot of problems on my character to begin with, which was really frustrating, I still don't feel I know exactly what I'm doing regarding that area, but I think I managed to do it well enough so that it all works ok. I still need to go and tweak a few areas like the fingers. But the biggest problem was the sides of the beard being affected by the arms. I managed to get through that part in the end though, so that was a huge relief.

 I had 4 sets to design, and used techniques learned from the Game Design to help me plan those out too, sketching and testing out the shapes and sizes of the spaces, and also create the large empty kind of feeling I wanted to go for. The design is also similar to my games design, following quite a creepy and sinister looking environment, dark, dirty and mouldy looking walls and assets. I went by my designs to create the first room, the main set in which most of the action takes place, the sitting room. I intend to make a lot of textures for the walls using the UV snapshot again, and adding peeling wallpaper, mouldy wet patches, etc. Hopefully producing something that looks a little unsettling. I will repeat this process for each room. I am modelling as much as I can, but I may also use a few free download models from websites, which I will give credit for in my notes when I write it all up.

 I hadn't really created an animatic before so this was my first go with that, I drafted out a rough storyboard using biro, and a lot of people commented on how they liked the look of that style. I did too, but its not something I wanted to carry onto the final look of my film really. I edited the storyboard along to the music, to try and structure out the plot of the video, trying to get timing right and to see if it worked. I think it works really well, I was concerned that it all may be happening too quickly and would have liked to linger on some shots a little longer, but having made many music videos I have found that generally they tend to be really quick cuts between shots, flashing things up just to help the narrative advance.  So I am still confident that will be fine.

It will probably mainly consist of scenes with little to minimal movement, until the end sequence, as it is very quick flashes of the repeating scenes each day until that point. Hugo commented that my storyboard had a lot of mid shots and not much diversity in the camera angles. I think I just like to plan out a basic look of the shots, because when I get hold of a camera in 3D space, I know I will be able to find much better angles to represent each shot, so I imagine it will stray slightly from the ones in the animatic, but to something a little more pleasing or disturbing to the eye. Using Dutch angles and slow zooms and pans, I think I will be able to create something quite cinematic. I would also like to try out focus shifts in some scenes, which is something I have never tried in Maya, but will be doing a lot of research on to find out how it works.

 I have done most of the work so far at home on my home PC, just to save bus fares really. But when it comes to animating I plan to use the Uni computers, so I have been a little concerned about transferring my files to the Uni computers as previously I have had problems with all my textures etc. when opening them up. As I have been setting things up in Renderman 22.3 and Gary mentioned there had been issues with it, and that the Uni computers didn't have that version on yet. So I was worried that I may have to reapply all of the textures to everything again. But I will cross that bridge when I come to it, and for now I will just finish the models and maybe finish the texturing off first thing when we come back, after checking out what the situation is with Renderman.

 I have really enjoyed this module and found myself really throwing myself into it and just cracking on, the thought of having a really nice animated music video for one of my own songs, is something I am really excited about. Creating everything from the music to the video, using techniques that I have learned over the last year. I hope to have something very professional and cinematic looking, that carries the message from the song, and bridges that gap between audio and visual for the listener. It will also be great to have something that I could add to my show reel, as an impressive piece of animation work.