#see? fuckin hillarious

[tacogrande]

Genuinely asking who are you planning to vote for in November? I'm not a fan of Kamala by any means but want to avoid Trump even more

at the moment its jill stein, she has actual good policies like universal health care and does not support sending arms to israel. (i will not vote for ANY one who supports the genocide in gaza, and that goes for democrats as well)

many will say its a wasted vote, but I think voting for the party who's only policy is 'you dont want the red team to win do you?' and empty promises is sort of a wasted vote in itself.

[outcast-thingz]

Okay okay maybe he has some redeeming qualities. Ayato gets some brownie points before being able to hit his skill on beat with Rockefeller Street as I try to jam the stress away during spiral abyss

For a second I almost forget I'm going through a gauntlet of hell just trying to get 12 stars

[watermelonlovershigh]

Apologies and Giggles (SMUT) /concept/

AN: just another scene that kept playing in my head so i wrote it out. it's a little silly piece with a loving touch. enjoy.

This story contains: sex, giggles, apologies, mentions of ass play, kinda angsty?, harry being as sweet as ever

{ boyfriend!harry - softrry - current harry era }

word count- 389

During sex you accidently touch Harry's bum hole to which Harry finds hillarious but you get embarrassed and apologize.

"Baby, if you wanted to play with my ass you could have just told me." Harry says through giggles with his face in your warm neck.

See, you'd had your hands gripped on both sides of Harry's butt cheeks as he thrusted into you. But from his aggressive movements your fingers slipped between his crack and accidently touched his tight hole. After the initial shock of the touch, Harry fell forward and couldn't stop laughing.

"Har, I..... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean too, my hand just slipped." you try to apologize.

Hearing that you're not on the same page in this situation, Harry finishes his last giggle before sitting up, still inside you might I add.

"Y/N, love, why are you apologizing for? You've literally ate my ass before. You know I'm all for a little bum play." Harry says to consul your worried mind. He honestly didn't care one bit, even if it was only an accident.

Looking up to make the first eye contact since the accident occured, you rebuttal, "Yeah but it startled you. Like I should have asked to touch you there first and I didn't."

Harry leans back down so you're chest to chest again and speaks softly in your right ear, "Baby, we-are-havin' sex. We know each other's limits and do's and don'ts. As far as I know, I've never gave you a rule to not touch certain parts of me. I'm all yours. Whatever you wanna do or touch, I'm here for it. You don't have to ask. Just do what you know would make me feel good and I'll do the same to you, alright. And it only startled me because I just wasn't expecting it, didn't mean I didn't like it."

Very quietly, you mutter, "Okay, thank you for being so kind. Now can you start moving again because before I accidently touched your ass hole you were about to make me come."

Giggling again, Harry answers, "Yeah, want me to keep fuckin' you baby? Make you come?" You only nod your head and he continues, "Course I'll make you come, m'love. But like, can you do that thing with your fingers where you reach behind me and like, touch my bum hole." Now he's only mocking the incident.

You catch on to the giggles and gasp, "Harry!"

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe140  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran

 // @luv-flor7777  // @alohastyles-x // @tenaciousperfectionunknown  // @sleutherclaw // @siredtohybrid // @whoscamila // @a-strange-familiar  // @golden-elodie // @mrspeacem1nusone //  @goldenkhae // @lntwithhrry  // @shadowygladiatorlight  // @manifestrry  //@mendesblurb // @sunshinemoonsposts  // @depersonalizationsucks // @academiaghost // @zendayassimp // @reveriehs // @vsnnstuff // @dancinsunflowerkiwi // @quinnsgrapejuice // @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite // @justlemmeholdyou // @hsonlyangelxo // @luvonstyles // @howdey

______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

[lozmastermm]

Sincerely. Can we all come to agreement that just about everyone who didn't vote, or flipped R, wanted desperately for some change?

Dems really didn't run that platform. They fought Bernie harder than republicans. Turns out ya can't rely on them anymore, they fuckin suck to try and stand up for because most of them have idiotic ideas.

Look, they tried to garner the middle/conservative vote, and literally didn't move the dial from Dump, and lost votes aswell.

It's true to say that most of these dems straight up don't give a shit and just want their pie. The one dude who's been right, and the one woman who's been right, has been Bernie and AOC.

If you even get the chance for another election, Run Then. Run them and Run Walz/Shapiro, Run Kamala and Someone Else.

Oh and the DNC can eat my fucking cock. Run this platform, or you lose. Guaranteed. I cannot stress enough, use your variety of players to garner interest from everyone. Whoever wins primary should solely be dictated by votes. See what happens.

I just gotta stress Kamala cannot run alone again or we're doomed as shit. As much as I'd genuinely like her to be president she now has the Hilary Stench for too many.

You set nobody up but Biden. Now what? Walz is great but he's simply not enough.

The alternative is start running as republicans and immedietely abandon the platform once elected like they've done before.

Regardless. I was right before. Dropping Biden was gonna cost us so fucking hard, him running in the first place without any charisma or true beliefs and energy pushing Bernie out, then lying about kinda alot??? Including being Interim until the last year basically. Oh and siding with Genocide would be a Deathly mistake for us all and not simply Palestines as ya wanted.

I was right. I was actually right but I allowed hope in my heart. It's rather unbelievable, I thought, maybe, we'd just see a lower turnout than expected, shit even Jill Stein only got like 600k and that's genuinely only bad for R's since it splits their vote harder being carbon copies. For now you'll see leftists voting for them but it won't be long before they regret significantly.

Should've been Bernie. It should've been Bernie in 2016. I knew then and there when Hillary pushed through and the DNC rigged for her, that the entirety of politics was nonsense. Nothing matters.

[sbnkalny]

SATAN is👹⚔️ workin overtime 💪💪to make a new level of hell 🪚⚒🪚cause 🎉🎉💀HENRY PISSinger☠️ has FINALLY FUCKIN DIED🪦🪦🎉🎉!! u may know this proPIGandist🐽🐽 by his greatest hits: BOMBINGS 💣, GENOCIDES 👎😡😢, MILITARY💂 COUPS💥, and other 🚔🚔CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY🏴‍☠️!!but DID U KNOW 🧠❓he was also someone hillary clinton 👵🏻 considered a close personal friend😘👯‍♀️🆒!! he devoted his life to DICKlaring 🍆🍆war 🚫AGAINST 🚫 the CUMMIES💦💂💦 and other unCUNTstitutional 🍑🦪🦪🍑things and ppl called him a hero🤔🤷😡👎‼️⁉️ today we pour one out 🍻🥂🍾 for one of the WORST PEOPLE🤢👿🤢 to ever do it‼️ so SPREAD ↔️THOSE LEGS 💃💃 like ur the freedom 🗽🗽of infWHOREmation 📚📜📚act && send this to 2️⃣1️⃣ people u want to give u their TRICKY DICK 👁👅👁. GET5️⃣ BACK, you’ll give someone a déTENTe ⛺️🪵 IN THEIR PANTS get 🔟 back and you’ll be getting realpoliDICKED 🤤🤤🍆🍆DOWN with that MISSILE TREATY😏🚀🚀😏 tonight‼️

Now, now, calm down—I swear i’m not 🚫 gay 🙅🏼‍♂️🙅🏼‍♂️🙅🏼‍♂️🙅🏼‍♂️ I touched the alien daddies 👾👀👅👌 will drop u out The spaceship 👋🚀🕳👈😱😱😰 and you will never see the light at the end of everything my mom yelled at me for taking a bath once every decade or so, nothing continued to happen. more nothing. the return of the jedi junior novelization, authored by ryder windham and released in the 90s, so stick that bit of apparel on, as advertised in that carol song. Give someone a genital and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and nothing more.

[mercury-waters]

i rarely engage w/ voting stuff on here, cuz i know that people disagree with me and i'll j get dogpiled, but this one i just feel like i have to.

i have worked on three INDEPENDENT grassroots campaigns - two election, one issue - and we won all three. They do work, actually, and can definitely overcome such limitations as internet connection. on the third campaign i worked on, in which everything was against us, we actually stood outside under tents in the rain and convinced residents to register to vote and mail-in their ballots on the spot.

it is absolutely true that either trump or biden will win the 2024 election. no argument there. but you are kidding yourself if you think that voting for Biden or any Democrat is keeping marginalized people safe. I've heard people say a lot that even though Biden does nothing for trans people that's "better" than Trump (Biden has actually eroded trans rights too, to say nothing for his fuckin atrocious immigration policy and racist policing policy), but that's really only a valid argument if you're looking at everything in a complete vacuum. In reality, Biden and the Democratic Party have at every moment emboldened the right wing – hell, they are the ones who elevated Trump in the media in 2016, hoping to get Hillary Clinton an easy competitor in the general election. If you really feel that you need to vote for Biden in order to sleep at night, I won't argue with you – but if you keep choosing the "lesser evil" every single time, things only get more and more evil.

An independent left-wing candidate is not going to win this election (unless like a mass movement erupted like, tomorrow, which would be pretty rad but unlikely). But we have to think about not just "this election" – the logic that keeps us trapped with two shitty political choices Every Single Damn Time is to just think about today. We need to fight for an independent left party that actually stands for real people, working-class and marginalized folks.

There are two good anti-war candidates on ballots this year; Jill Stein with the Green Party and Cornel West, an independent. Are they gonna win? No. But consider, if they BREAK RECORDS by getting, let's say, even 15% of a national vote – which would be the first time that happened in this century – that changes the situation dramatically. People start seeing the possibility of independent politics, that they aren't alone in the way they feel, and gears start to move to organize this energy. We can start to build something new.

You know how that doesn't happen? By voting for somebody you hate, to "stave off fascism". Every single fuckin election.

Here's a lesson about fascism. In 1932, there was an election for President in Germany, incumbent Paul von Hindenberg versus Adolf Hitler. Everybody supported voting for the lesser evil, and hey, it worked! Hindenburg won the election! Crisis averted!

Except it didn't. Hindenburg himself appointed Hitler as Chancellor shortly after. Guess what happens next.

If you really wanna vote for Biden, I'm not gonna be an asshole about it. But do not convince people that voting for a candidate who has politics they actually like doesn't do anything; it actually does. Don't convince people grassroots campaigns can't win, cuz they can. And for the love of god, don't tell people that voting for "the lesser evil" will stop the greater evil from gaining the upper hand, because historically speaking, that has never been true, and it sure as hell won't be this time.

I'm not gonna tell you how to vote, BUT...

Here are some truths about the upcoming United States election.

Either Trump or Biden will win.

Our political system is designed around ensuring that either the Democrat or the Republican win. There is no "but if everyone rallies around a third party candidate..." argument, because...

Grassroots campaigns can't work. There are areas of the country that don't have internet or television. Congress just allowed the Affordable Connectivity Program to lapse, denying internet to even more people. There is literally no way for some candidates to get their message to huge parts of the country.

The Republican and Democrat candidates are backed by huge donor machines that enable them to tour a campaign trail. Independent candidates do not have this luxury.

Our country still uses a First Past the Post (FPTP) voting system, which is specifically designed to support only two candidates.

Our country uses an electoral (all or none) system, which is why you hear that voting for a third party candidate "takes votes away" from one of the major party candidates. For example, if Trump gets 48,999 votes, Biden gets 50,000 votes, and a third party candidate gets one single vote, Biden takes all the electoral votes in the state. All of them.

I really hope you make your peace with this now. Please, vote how you want, but with one candidate saying he will essentially outlaw transgender people, I can't imagine NOT voting for the only other candidate who can possibly win. Right now the polls are 50/50, which is absolutely insane to me.

In my experience, it's usually younger people who talk about either voting their conscience, or not voting at all to "send a message." I assure you, not voting doesn't send a message to the candidate who loses. Your message is only received by the millions of Americans who will suffer as a result.

I don't want to argue. I have no desire to fight with anyone over this anymore. And if you want to ask me "so I have to choose between two killers?" as a gotcha, then I'm sorry to say... The answer is yes. Those are the choices we've been given. And because the United States is no longer a true democratic republic, there's not a whole lot we can do to change that right now.

[jaythelay]

We're close enough I can say this without much fear:

Donald Trump will lose by 9+Million votes.

He's going to lose. He has already lost. All we're worried about is his inevitable coup and Maga terrorist uprising.

Primarily, what I need ya'll to understand is these mother fuckers are So God Damn Stupid they keep voiding their fucking ballots. From doing write-ins of Dump on the ballot with Dump already on it, to writing "fuck" next to Kamala harris, to posting images of their ballot online...

On top of this is the fact They're So Confident. They're so fuckin' confident and it's Bleeding them votes. If you thought just saying "Dump is obviously going to lose" would get you shit on the left, hoho boy, that's not what's going on in R world. It's a guarantee! No Doubt! Because they never leave their fucking sheltered ass social bubbles other than to harrass someone and skitter away like god damn cockroaches when given a response.

And holy FUCK there's never been a time in our lifetimes and probably ever again where Everyone is unanimously saying

"Fuck This Guy"

He's lost. He completely, fucking lost. I know we'll hear from Republicans otherwise before and after, and for sure, I don't want to cause anyone not to vote, but jesus Fucking Christ He Lost!

He fucking Lost! It's not a mistake of information, it's not a want or hope, it's not a guess, he, fucking, lost. Tell me how someone can Lose by an Increasing 7 Million Votes and somehow Recover???

The only way he wins is corruption and rigging. That's plain and simple it. We already see Georgia is completely fucking corrupt and likely lost. They keep fuckin' with how people vote in red states, it's abysmal and only affected their shitty voting base because again, Leftists Do Not Think This Is An Easy Win, only R's do, they're sincerely in the same boat as leftists with Hillary, let that sink in, that's how confident they are, and how much they're pushing away each other's votes, on top of making it impossible for them to vote sometimes.

It's simply not feasible. They've run out of ignorance, of good will, of being able to just say "it's a one time thing" they've run through their money too! Dump 2 BILLION IN DEBT and not paying ANYONE. They Lost!

I can't say it enough. There is no reality where Dump doesn't lose by Bare Minimum 8+Mil. There just isn't. I don't think the race is close in the popularity contest, only in the electoral college, and how willing they are to be blatantly corrupt again.

[myforrest2]

Crack house

i see how mass shootings happen

deshaun Watson's tiktok

operation white coat

frumpy body girl. i'm shallow

mental health issues in my family

donte and white titties

molestor uncle

phone sniffin dogs . thanks kamala

china made a sun

goochland va powhite

white women fuck like bots

happy wife happy life

who got better pussy

brett griner

rape fantasies on reddit

racist AI. white people writing code

dont fuck the students at tsu

gaping asshole porn

levels to dv. neigbor got into a dv situation

you gotta be able to fight if ur abusive

country line dancing in 6th grade

growing up christian concervative

i never believed in covid

having nigerian friends

menopause is a funny concept (the last egg)

wish i dates white women cuz the swifties are out!

million white women march

taylor farrakhan

who decided at the meeting that they were selling bean pies

trans women get a taste of getting offended and cant handle

i want to tell trans jokes but everytime, my dick gets cut off

her tax dollars paid for me to do home invasions but she wanna tell me what i can say

id snort midol if i were a woman

3 months of period and 9 months off

the purge for periods 9 months of peace 3 months of chaos

asking about organic vagina new vagina

synthetic vagina vs vagina

dont stop believing can end racism

stacy abrams dresses like hillary clinton

gmo coochie

my red flags

levels to the horny. showin ur face on pornhub

porn on the family computer

first std test

did ur granny fuck wilt chamberlain

used to be a therapist but it got to be too stressful

happy husband happy marriage

how often do u suck his dick ladies?

church revivals coachella for church

part trans cuz circumcised

so easy to scam women wish i had the heart to do it

nothin brings pussy together likes some and scammin niggas

navigating life being objectified

i'm more than my period

women put u in risky situations

they put bombs in the trash

gotta do everything when u Black

being black is annoying

quantum leap

asians are dark skinned white people

disney couldnt find enough swimmin niggss for little mermaid

vasectmy b4 it was fashionable

slave bible

i go to switzerland

drake's bed is made of horse hair and stingray skin

spelman and cosby

relationship with bpd. she can only handle some of my personalities not all of them

cerebral palsey dude's wheelchair stole

cant wait for sex work to be uberred

prayer for the gay demons

y is it always the stud that gets pregnant

first vasectomy nutt

waited for coochies to freshen up before i ate them

prison rapes kept me out of prison

ex wife had two babies

jump started a period

my mom helped plan my dad's funeral

forrest gump had full blown aids in philadelphia

women LOVE subtitles

suicide by negro. saying nigger at the atl airport

gender reveals for intersex babies

karim juwani tossed her baby in woods wrapped in plastic four years ago

mom shaking babies

construction worker on fire took video

wife beater as wash rag neighbor got in dv

my cousins got basic ass white women

taliban dating show

wilt chamberlain

nutted on my own face once

didn't masturbate til i was in college

heroes dose of shrooms

if he buys you beyonce tickets

honey pack fuckin

trans people they treat caitlyn jenner like black people treat clarence thomas

ain't sucked a dick but sucked toes

i aint a gangst but done gangsta shit

the good molestation from my babysitter's daughter

bv pussy/yeasty pussy

my girl fuck wit me cuz i'm that nigga

i hate the white part of me that tells me what to do

price of chicken goin up

snorting midol

moms love reminding u of how many hours of labor they were in

abortion on a 10 year old rape victim doctot had a tatt off a coat hanger with trust women on it

my dad grew up without infoor plumbing

being able to uberize sex work. ordering a blow job on uber one

chinatown knockoff

white boy jumping off cruise ship

asians & blacks

molestation

disney movies

feeling obligated to jack off to porn i paid for

uber sex (sex work)

trans reparations

dating black women is an olympic sport

called the sex line on gmas phone

scammed by uber

MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC

patchy beard but got asshole hair

homeless whites & Asians

c* vid had people keeping count of death

getting old ( aunt marry droolin on herself)

men washing ass (water bottles to wash ass in iraq)

make the money make the rules

comedy humbles u

pandemic paychecks (ppp loan)

black woman will make or break u (cooked in an oven love)

fuckin bbws is awkward 4 me

american black women make me feel like im trans cuz they cut my dick off til i pull out that check

i rode the short bus to the talented and gifted classes

in tag i had to do extra

in tag it was nothing but white people, another brotha came in there and i said he must have had a mom that really cared about his education. i got punched in the stomach for it

get a trans friend cuz they will get reparations first. black people too disorganized

gotta trick your woman into giving u some pussy

i miss drugs

i'll get my dick back from my girl when i make money. i wont get all of it back cuz she's a black woman "niggas ain't shit"

arguin with my girl is worse than arguin with my mom. mom took away nintendo girl takes away pussy

i act like a woman when a woman leaves me. cuz i have ababdonment issues

Jim Crow needs to make a cameo appearance every 10 years to wake niggas up.

i don't cheat cuz i gotta use a condom

fovrite movie is forrest gump. sequal to forrest is philadelphia

i used to be a social worker but my dick stopped working so i had to quit

what's the wildest thing a woman has told you during sex?

love dont exist anymore. im gonna put my women on one year contracts

white name in black body

if i were a serial killer my victims would b homeless black women

carlee fucked it up for yall

i blew up a kid's face in iraq. i hope he becomes president so i can be part of his origin story

watching couples fuck

white people treat slavery like women treat accountability

alien pussy

be funny watchin my married potnas getting punked by their wives

sexxy red went to my highschool

Gilgo beach killer spaced out his white woman victims

I remember when I had to fake like Lizzo's music for some coochie. Oh the lies we men tell.

God is good all the time and all the time God is gooD

Coochie is pink booty hole brown

my skin is light but my comedy is dark

titties lookin right no lefts

If you could own slaves, how many would you have?

Those MAPs folks are jacking off to all the first day of school pics

kamala harris had an orgasm when the tory sentence came down

kelsey shot meg cuz women will shoot each other over the same dick

had a woman tell me she couldn't figure me out

women want to figure us out so they can control our minds

Glad they didn't call me a baby killer when i got back from Iraq

women that have had abortions got that fire

It was lookin like a baby holocaust when abortions were legal. I dated a woman that aborted 2 babies by the same dude. Those could have been 2 Amazon fulfillment workers.

these mew generation of parents have no control over their kids . cryin toddler in hawaii

i love watching kids act out in public . the parents look like they're trying to solve a calculus problem.

mom used basic math, pinching and threats

black women say shit that make u want to punch...... or shoot them. white women say shit that make u want to kill them

these hoes start talkin like chat gbt when you catch them on some bullshit

got evicted with a wife & 2 kids.

named my son after a member of jodeci but my bm swear she named him

serial killer my victims would be homeless black women

i want to date a non verbal autistic woman

ladies can you cover your ears during my set so we men could have a good time?

i wish black women would suck dick the way they suck the fun out the room

being part white is annoying cuz i got a gluten allergy

lake lanier pussy

jim crow day

how to keep a dude from raping u

white people fuck like bots

cub scout leader died so i didn't get molested

getting a black womans love is like trying to get a laugh from black folks

sex farms

pullin pussy with a telegraph machine

"come thru" in morse code

i'm not a conspiracy theorist i'm just a nigga that has never trusted the government

the holocaust was an inside job

how many niggas would black people sacrifice to get the jew treatment

chlamydia the reggie of stds

u know its fire when she burn u and u still wanna fuck

how many cows is your coochie worth

worst fears are heights, deep water & seeing my daughters titties on reddit

met an ethiopian bbw

tranny porn overstimulation

things that annoy me: fat niggas that ain't funny

student loans

dental damn

being black is a game of dodging diseases and gun violence

trump 2 real for black women they voted for a dude that don't take care of his responsibilities

glad i aint the uncle in the back room doin heroin

coochie after the club trick

low low low price of pussy

how i decide to go raw

men would have babies and not abortions cuz it would require us to go to the doctor

abuse is relative

dad was an aspiring preacher like an aspiring rapper

ai is the cotton jin

black womn patten for heater

giving homeless dick

field vs deployment

jail vs. prison

pregnancy test vasectomy

foreskins

drugs are for young boys

people with guns are scared bitches

lgbt DV do studs hit their girlfriends with their straps

post ops arr funnier than pre ops

dick losing a step

2% gay

- [ ]

pop art and anime

working for pussy

[cyarsk52-20]

Boah I tell you if you think your Muslim friends are in danger now just wait until White America blames them for Trump getting re-elected. 🙃🙃🙃🙃

See all this threatening not to vote performance shit is going to put the very people yall think yall advocating for in even worse danger but u know yall know every fuckin thing

The US is not a friend to marginalized groups and folks who are not in tune now? They gone fasho wake it the fuck up once the GOP starts mass deporting Palestinians from the US. Act like yall don’t know if you want to. I will never forget to remember

Yall forget that man put babies in cages and camps HERE on this land. I didn’t however. Muslim bans, threats to rip citizenship from Palestinians, cages with Mexican and Latinx immigrants. Haitian TSP bans. That was all Trump. Play if you want to!

Middle East foreign policy has been messy since the middle 1900’s and the Democrats while they haven’t been perfect have atleast tried to resolve some of these conflicts when they could.

People out here protesting at White House chanting “F*ck Joe Biden!” and “genocide Joe “ bc they’re upset about what’s going on in Middle East is truly misguided bullshit. Targets of their wrath should be Hamas&Netanyahu. They deserve your outrage. And whether they know it or not,they’re doing exactly what Putin wants them2do

All ima say is yall had a chance to stop this massacre by voting for Hillary Clinton. Babies are dead today because yall sat at home and played with your votes in 2016. How many more millions of people gotta die before yall get the picture? How much of your ass must be whipped before you stop playing those stupid games and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?!?! Vote for your life gotdamnit!

[cesium-sheep]

the first volume of golosseum was real fuckin weird, but kinda compelling. warnings for violence and gore obvs, as well as a lot of russian super soldiers stomping around calling chinese and japanese combatants apes, megabuff putin, totally-not-hillary-clinton as the us president (it was originally published in 2015), the lead character is 14 and looks Like That, her coworker is a high school girl and their work uniforms are Like That, there are black gangsters slaughtering cops and then getting slaughtered by a man who definitely isn't hulk hogan named axe bowgun, rasputin is still alive and well and was friends with the czar actually and may be our benevolent mentor figure??? it's So Much. absolutely wild.

if you can ignore the age shit and the history's demon rasputin as the benevolent mentor shit tho, it's kinda compelling? she goes on a date with her female coworker that gets repeatedly called a date with lots of hearts in her dialogue and all. rasputin encourages this because it's important for her to experience unimportant things after being raised as a weapon. like I don't really care about the technobabble or a lot of the fights but I'm still curious to see just where the fuck this is going. sure wish she wasn't an aged-up 14 year old but we can't win 'em all especially when they're not being written for us.

I don't know if I enjoyed it per se, but I am certainly intrigued by it. I'll read another one if it goes on a good sale.

[stuffing-pillows]

[my-dog-ate-my-pronouns]

Tempted to write an au where

Kavinsky doesn't fucking die but instead, they talk him into helping them find Glendower.

Mostly because the idea of them all (Gangsey + Kavinsky and Prokopenko) being friends is hillarious.

Like, can you fucking imagine K moving into Monmouth for a week, and Gansey wakes up to see some random ass thing that did not occur naturally and just calling a household meeting?

Like he's just interviewing K and Ro, like Which one of you fuckers made it? because he can't fucking move it, and it's in the way? And neither of them is answering, and eventually, Gansey calls Adam, and Adam starts asking Ronan, and he's still not budging, (Then Adam whispers something in Ronans ear, and all of a sudden he's redder than anyone thought natural, and he just stares at Adam)

They still don't know what happened, and Adam and Ronan just fuckin left so Gansey gets an idea.

Maybe Noah knows who did it. So he calls Blue, Blue helps Noah appear, and it turns out;

Ronan did it to piss off Gansey.

---

This just sounds... Amazing, okay? Absolute fucking chaos.

lmk if anyone wants this!

Also, K doesn't die because then Prokopenko would sleep forever, and just no.

[wickedpact]

and see the thing is, because booker appears the be the oldest of the group (and also the most.... white frenchman of the group) all of the wealthy men like him (not romantically but like. in the straight rich businessmen way men would like each other.) so while nicky and joe (...and andy) are being sought after (andy’s prob doing most of the pursuing of women tho) by all these women (and the one man in nickys case) booker is sought after by their fathers/brothers/husbands to go hunting together and play croquet and discuss rich man things over drinks in the fancy sitting room (that one at least includes drinking so booker hates it the least.) however. idk i’m feeling a touch bad for mr booker here. maybe there is 1 woman who has a crush on him, maybe one of the quieter types, perhaps maybe even a *gasp* lower class woman? like rich people had like... paid servants back then? (im basing this knowledge of this era on the fact that i’ve seen most of downton abbey and i’m picturing an estate similar to that? but with. less nice rich people? idk) extra hillarious if booker is... completely unaware that this woman is Absolutely Smitten with him, the others All See it but whenever they say smth about it booker is all “nonsense! she’s just very nice that’s all :)”

god if this woman turns her attention to nicky... oh dear. i feel like nicky wouldn’t take very kindly to the woman who tried to poison andromache (“she also tried to steal my heart, nicolò, you could be angry about that too nicolò” “don’t be ridiculous yusuf, that woman could never even come near to your heart. however she came very near to poisoning andromache.”) so he’s probably pretty... cold to her (or as cold to her as he can be if she is nobility, though would nicky really care hsvdbdb) but as we know this woman does not Back Down Easily. nicky eventually will just, zone out when she starts speaking to him, and she takes it with a Very Fake Sweetness (“...sorry, what was that? i was thinking about the price of potatoes” “oh? you’re so intelligent :) i would love to hear your thoughts on the price of potatoes :)” and i can’t decide if it’s funnier if nicolò was genuinely thinking about the price of potatoes (really honestly probably not that out of character) and then just fuckin. starts a full on speech about it right there. or she asks nicolò for his thoughts and he just responds with a very quick “no :)” and then leaves the room.)

also i will only say this Once but andy will tease the boys about all the ladies lusting after them only for her to be over there knee deep in [redacted] - 2ta

joe nicky and andy: running around, having Shenanigans, desperately trying to avoid getting hit on by nobility of varying genders

booker and the lads:

if there is any goal to the con besides posing as nobility (ie. discovering information or smth) then booker is def the only one making any headway on that goal. he is absolutely socially drinking his way to that intel and loving every second of it

BOOKER AND HIS 1 ADMIRER I LOVE IT andy joe and nicky are just (largely unwillingly) participating in this bizarre love polygon and watching booker and this 1 single lady, like a maid or smth?, be heartbreakingly adorable with each other

nicky: wow i want what they have.

joe:

joe: we have been married

joe: FOR SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS,

nicky ABSOLUTELY was thinking about the price of potatoes and joke’s on that lady, bc he will spend the whole ball/event/whatever talking about the price of potatoes, and joke’s also on nicky, bc she will sit there and pretend to actually be engaged with the potato discussion the whole time

and she TOTALLY knows he hates her ass bc of the poisoning andy thing (tho she thinks its older brother (well.. younger brother) protectiveness) and shes like yeah.... this is definitely a sexy hatred.... meanwhile nicky is gayly thinking about potatoes, his husband in that new suit, and wondering what annabelle is up to at that moment. this woman just Cannot score for the life of her

re: booker i was also thinking like.... some little girl, like the daughter of one of the rich white guys hes always hanging out with, takes a liking to him, like 7 or 8 years old, and he occasionally buys her gifts, like bits of ribbon or a doll or smth.... and hes like 50% ‘man i wish i had a daughter’ and 50% ‘boy am i glad i didnt have any more kids than i did bc Dead Child Angst’‘

i was also laughing my own ass off last night thinking about the Squad buying all these rich people clothes pre-con and bc nicky’s supposed to be andy’s brother and is thus prolly going to have to help her get into some of her outfits, he has to go to the fittings with her, like idk maybe andy’s pretending to be a Common Girl who just got married to some rich guy, and so the Tailor Lady/Dude at the Rich People Fashion Store(TM) gives them an afternoon of lessons on the 17 Steps On Getting Into Victorian Finery and The Fifteen Different Outfit Changes You’ll Have To Go Through Throughout the day, etc etc

and nicky’s just over here Absolutely Hating that he knows what an s curve corset is, much less how to lace one, and andy’s like ‘you think you hate knowing what it is, try wearing it, you bastard fiend’

meanwhile joe and booker are out somewhere drinking and smoking cigars and uh [checks notes]

and watching a soccer game

[thebluepeninsula]

hello it's me I just had a grand weekend I spent two nights in a row going dancing and talking in parked cars with people I love. I got three hours of sleep friday night because it was too hard to say goodnight, knowing nights like that are rare as gold. I'm leaving this place soon and every time I tell that to someone new I find out that I meant something to them and I want to cry. why would I leave all these beautiful people here to start over new somewhere a thousand miles away? I had a dream last night about dancing in a river at sunset, I was leaving soon and I was falling in love and I was cutting ties, but everything looked so beautiful.

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu characters as things said in the hhcu

a/n: this is pure humor and just something fun, the hhcu is wild and says stupid shit more than once a day so i complied a ridiculously long list of quotes and put them together in this list to share with yall so please enjoy, read more because again this is so long also pt 2. some of these r pretty nsfw so uh yeah <3

Oikawa: When he gives up his torso 😍 

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Nishinoya: Fisherman daddy

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Bokuto: I trust no condiments

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Osamu: YELLOW BAD OIKAWA IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY KITCHEN

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Tendou: Give ass in shiratorizawa?

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Atsumu: Garlic air freshener

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Nishinoya talking about his sex life: ITS THE GOOD OL FASHIONED POW POW GRUNT GRUNT WINDOW WASHER ULTIMATE FRISBEE DICK CONNECTOR 

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Hinata: thank you!! also my oven melted??? and caught on fire 😰 

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Yaku probably thinking abt kuroo while saying this: not gonna front im terrified of the live action grinch and if i ever see him its on sight

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Kageyama: Except that one mustard faze I had

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Lev after yaku kicks him yet again: NO INCH ACTIVE INCH VERY ACTIVE

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Suga after Kiyoko holds his hands: premarital eye contact is already a sin

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Iwaizumi realizing Oikawa probably wouldn’t know the difference between hawaiian rolls and milk bread: when he says hit it till it breaks, he means the packaging of hawaiin rolls

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All of Seijoh to Oikawa: You know whats really sexy? Self care.

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Hoshihumi: like a three year old. still baby but also evil at times🤡 

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Oikawa right before his death: "MORNING HAJI!~" slaps tiddie

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 Anyone falling on love with haikyuu boys: hey a good reverse harem never hurt anyone

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Idk who says it but terushima would do this: places his hand to my heart but then hes like heh heh boob squishy

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Tendou: centrepical force saved my bag of chocolate!!

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Lev thinking it was a literary masterpiece: *reads about a fourth of the bee movie*

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Hinata making fun of Kageyama: milk is better than the feeling of the ball touching your fingertips during a perfect set

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Hinata and Kageyama failing tests: thats just the dumbass in me babey!!!

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Atsumu simply trying to annoy Osamu: Are y’all meaning to tell me you DON’T take your raw chicken on walks through the city?

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Yahaba: PUSSY ALWAYS LEAVES

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Mattsun just to annoy everyone: yall ever think about how in the 50s and 60s they just put raw hotdogs or shrimp into jello and ate that shit and enjoyed it???

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Suga: i am now crying and my boyfriend is concerned and i can’t tell him that I’ve lost my husband and children

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Kenma; Smh my head

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Bokuto: Sorry not all of us can have double decker extra stuffed bottoms up extra large super sized t n a like me🥰🥰��💅

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Everyone to bokuto: titty enthusiast ✨✨

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Me to kuroo: sorry babe youre a scorpio you dont have any rights anymore

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Tendou: i accidentally lit a  baby on fire

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Atsumu: This feels real human centipede

Bokuto: theyre not ass to mouth

Atsumu: Close enough

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Bokuto when a minor inconvience happens: Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every day, I wake up....

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Sakusa: Remove your lips from my penis

Atsumu: I use a gluestick as chapstick i cant

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Goshiki: Arson or boot in my book, set fire to something live a little

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Tsukishima: I don’t like recieving pain. It hurts

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Kenma annoyed w kuroo: Put your dick in the fucking catfish’s pussy then

Kuroo being annoying: How deep is catfish pussy

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Makki to Mattsun: Ayo babe what if we fucked on the catfish tank

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Kiyoko tiredly, to Tanaka: I’m not putting salt and pepper on my pussy lips

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Saeko: I’ve got that Deep dish, super soaker, wet, succulent dripping honey suckle like sweet marinated mooseknuckle, extra thick, slip n slide, water park, waterbender, extra ribbed, the seven seas, gorilla grip, flex tape, primordial soup Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion pussy

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Atsumu not really knowing what cooch means: I got the body builder cooch

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Oikawa after not sleeping to train, extremely sleep deprived: youre got unending

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Goshiki; Commit arson

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Akaashi: I leave for 10 minutes and Bokuto is 240v (mouth edition) fuckmaster pro 4000 with semen drip collection tray, automated self-lubricating 6 speed pulsating pussy and built in Polycrystalline floatable silicon

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Oikawa; I’m coming to murk your ass xoxo

Iwa: I will literally shiv you bitch

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kindaichi: ✨ bob duncan exterminates you asmr✨

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Makki: I’ll try to find my favorite about Jacob sartorius vampire babies with Hillary Clinton

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kenma after playing some obscure video game: also i can’t sleep😔 too busy thinking about human sized bats

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ME fuck yall im carpetting my bathroom: you already put rugs in the bathroom might as well carpet that bitch

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kuroo talking abt something sciency idk: LIKE A BODY WIG

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Seijoh when iwa throws balls at oikawa: spousal abuse right in front of my salad

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Hinata making up some new stupid song: Ants on a log ants on a log

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Atsumu to piss off Osamu once more: world f amous allegra chicken

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Semi: Gay little Ushijima’s left hand

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Bokuto: Are you disagreeing with the fact that I am thicc as phuck

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Kiyoko: Guys is it uh... is it possible to sprain a titty cause.... Uh....

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Terushima: He laughed at the end of his own joke what a fuckin chad

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Bokuto: IS THAT THE DOG FROM ZOOTOOIA

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Kageyama: milk is kinda like organ paint huh

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Nishinoya: i don’t think socks taste good

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Tendou: out of your mummy, into my tummy

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Hinata; shout out to me who thought chickens had four legs until last summer

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Oikawa Hanger: I WANNA HANG MY CLOTHES ON HIM 

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Kenma: What a little pissbaby

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Yamaguchi: i am literally so curious about what it's like to kiss a boy that it's almost killing me

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Daichi about Suga: he may be cute, but istg there’s some kind of raging devil trapped in him

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Saeko: fuck society my titties are out

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Hinata after getting lecture by everyone for sneaking into the training camp: GOOD NEWS MY DAD IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN THE OVEN

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Just me thinking abt any first years: children. toddlers. Tikes.

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Me waiting for the fever: When is malaria?

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Uhhhhh probably tendou his vibes: Ill electrocute his cock

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Akaashi just go w it probably about bokuto: Why is he shoving cheese up the pussy

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Osamu tiredly: Ooey gooey cheesy chicken vagaina

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Nishinoya trying to catch a very large fish: Dom the Crab

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Bonus crabagraph: The crabs death reverberated and struck fear into the hearts of all crabs in existence because of this one 60+ year old mans volatile universe-crunching swing. Dude defied the laws of gravity by simply getting pinched by the crab. Man just reinvented the laws of physics and all of science due to the sheer force of will and untapped wellsprings if potential unleashed by the crab. If aliens show up it’s because the supersonic radio waves released by the banging of the crab against the cabinet are the first ever created in the universe. Man could cause a ripple in space-time with his crab launching abilities. Guy probably opened a gateway into another universe when he launched the crab. You see how the cabinet door opened and stayed open? It’s because this elder tore a hole through the fabric of reality to the Other Side simply because he experienced a minor bit of pain. The way he released a defeated roar of agony. The ancient gods awoke from their deep slumber and this old man single-handedly revived all his ancestors. New wars are about to start because of the way this man broke the barriers containing this reality into one fixed area. This universe is now expanding at such a rapid rate the the geosphere will now be reshaped. This man probably unknowingly blasted a hole in the other side of the planet because the shockwaves of the aggressive rippling effect of this poor crustacean slamming at lightning speed into a small wooden frame. The crabs insides were probably fused into the shell because this man’s angry, rage filled, pain filled battering ram of an arm throwing him through every known dimension and re-arriving in this one at the mere moment to experience the most pain a crab ever has or will in the rest of the existence of crabs. This elderly man probably has phased through and broken every human limiter known to man just because he got a minor pinch by a crab. He probably is bio-medically fused with crab DNA at this point. A legend.

[minidog]

aaron tveit cant play roger hes like a hundred also do u guys even remember how ugly he was in grease live it aged him ten years