#secondly I am NOT a writer

[shimmerandfists]

In relation to the post I reblogged...OTP prompts Vijinx edition.

This is just for fun and my favorite interpretation of these guys, keep that in mind and if you have your own feel free to add it or join the fun and make your own! I'm going to write bad, I'm going to write sloppy 👍 It's a long list guys.

For clarity when I use Jinx I'm referring to any version of her where traumatic events have happened that makes Jinx into who she is. When I use Powder I'm referencing any version of her that had the support, love and circumstances to heal and be healthy. They're the same but different people you know, nature vs nurture and all that. 🤝

Upon rereading, there are nsfw questions I answered as a heads up.

If you see spelling and grammar mistakes no you didn't (sorry and also if you point them out I'll fix them and! Appreciate it)

1.) Genuinely they're probably both dogshit at cooking but Jinx might be a sleeper agent here. She could be a good baker and specifically better than Vi but Vi has mean grill dad energy. More than anything though they both have flop energy. They would learn the basics together and specialize in max. 5-7 specific recipes apiece that the other likes and they enjoy.

In a moment where they both have the space, time and peace to actually cook a meal...I think it would be Powder, Vi, and then Jinx in that order.

2.) That being said Jinx is definitely waking up at 2 AM to cook some kind of midnight snack. A midnight gourmand if you will. In these moments she both comes up with the most disgusting combinations and, rarely, inconceivable combinations that come out as delicacies.

3.) Jinx is definitely into PDA. All kinds and at any time. I really can't see her caring who does and doesn't see. In moments of jealousy or in new locations where no one knows them Vi would definitely be into it and reciprocate. Jinx would obviously initiate the most because of that. I think with Powder it'd be even between her and Vi in any scenario and both would get mushy when the other starts.

Picture a vacation on an ocean side port city, the second day into the trip after unpacking and adjusting to the newness of an unfamiliar and exciting place. They've already picked up something for breakfast and a local place to visit. They take a break in a rest area halfway to their destination set aside for people climbing the mountain the town sprawls across. Blocked from the stairs around a rock wall is a bench and a set of rails wrapping around the small ledge.

Jinx leans on the rails, Vi comes up behind her to wrap her arms around her waist and lay her head on one of Jinx' shoulders. Jinx places a soft peck on her cheek with nothing but soft love in her eyes as she turns back to watch the sun finally rise above the mountain peaks for the day. They stay like that, wrapped up in each other, lightly playing with the others hair and clothes and soaking in the morning rays for as long as they can stand.

4.) I can't think of any specific show (because I don't watch that much stuff) but I can really see them being into weekend watching some corny action style series with lots of explosions and "cool" guys. I think they'd love watching and rewatching the John Wick series and Baby Driver. Their weakness they'd never admit to each other, but it's so obvious, is loving romcoms. Princess bride is one that comes to mind.

5.) Vi is definitely the cheesier of the two and while Jinx/Powder gives her shit for it and teases her she loves it, and loves that Vi loves her like that. She thinks it's endearing, she does get embarrassed if Vi does it where others can see though and Vi definitely digs into that readily. It's rare she can embarrass Jinx so she takes full advantage when she can, especially in such a harmless way.

6.) They'd both be late for things, maybe not all the time but most of it. For Vi it's a comedy of errors that are never entirely her fault, something always comes up. For Jinx she gets lost in her own head/is bad with time management and/or doesn't care too much about it unless it's with someone she loves like Vi or Ekko. Even then she'd still probably be a couple minutes late. Powder is on time tbh I think she has the skills and luck to manage it. She's got her system down pat.

7.) Jinx is by far the clumsiest of the 3 for funny comedy reasons. Having shimmer in your blood probably isn't always convenient or productive for balancing. I'm thinking of the fight scene with Smeaches guys and her tripping on the octopus among other moments. Vi is fit and has the muscle control to stay upright most of the time and catch herself. Powder is just more careful than all three and rarely puts herself in situations where she could slip up.

8.) Vi is an old man. She's neither a night owl or morning dove she sleeps in as late as she can and goes to bed embarrassingly early. She would lean closer to a night owl if I had to choose, for late night outings at bars with friends if nothing else. Working out and staying fit helps her keep a regular sleep schedule for the most part.

Jinx/Powder are 100% night owls. There isn't anything quite like the midnight inspirations amirght guys? That sudden spontaneous energy and river of ideas and inspiration right when it's time to go to bed are hard to ignore.

9.) Purely for who they are and their hobbies/strengths, Vi would pack the lightest. Prison habits and not having stuff in general definitely helped Vi figure out necessities. Jinx and Powder being tinkerers and builders, I can't see them having anything less than at least 2 backpacks full of stuff at any one time. If they had to leave-leave, not just move around for the day or a week, canon wise they're all pretty light packers.

10.) I see them having too different of schedules from each other to make sure the other doesn't forget anything. I CAN see Vi leaving things out for Jinx/Powder to take with them for the day like warmer clothes if the weathers shit or some treat she picked up the day before. If they go on trips it's definitely Vi keeping the packing list short and efficient though lol. And making sure Jinx/Powder don't for get their phone charger or wallet equivalent to whatever she'd have. You know, I think Vi might just carry all their shit in her personal bags or pockets.

11.) When Vi leaves things out for Jinx/Powder she'd definitely add little notes. Suggesting plans for the evenings when they meet up and/or little love/appreciation notes. Jinx would leave as many notes as she could anywhere she could theoretically put a note on. The contents are just about everything and anything but mostly little love notes. Powder would leave notes irregularly I think, for special events she plans or on days she thinks Vi needs a little pick me up.

12.) Calling and texting oh man. I think they'd all prefer calling, it'd be easier for Jinx and Powder to talk with Vi while tinkering and Vi is sappy and just loves hearing their voice. I just think it's funny to make Vi an old man about stuff but she WAS in prison for like 7 years and I don't think texting or phones were a big part of her education. Jinx would overtext like crazy and sometimes the radio silence on Vis end would bug her until they talked it out.

It wouldn't be on Vi's mind to check her phone throughout the day unless she had a moment of down time. When she finally checked her phone there'd be 20 texts from Jinx.

Powder is worse than Vi about texting, irregularly, when she's really deep into an idea she goes hours without picking up her phone. For the most part she'd be pretty on top of texting and while she could rival Jinx' texting habits she filters herself a little to give time for Vi to reply. I think that's why they would all prefer calls, calls make themselves obvious and intentions/meanings and clearer over the phone. In the end they'd accept that when they're apart and they need the other they'll just call.

13.) They'd stay at home and go out equally! Date nights inside just hanging out, cooking and watching shitty tv together. Going out on the town and ripping it up is an every other weekend, if not once a month ordeal lol.

14.) If Vi has had a long day, it'd take heaven and hell to keep her awake for an entire movie at the end of the night. Jinx/Powder don't mind these nights too much. A sleepy and soft Vi is always a treat even if they have to wake her up to get her to bed.

When Powder/Jinx has too many late nights in a row they're out like a light within 20 minutes of the movie, it's almost predictable at this point. Has Vi used this to get them to have a regular nights sleep? Maybe. She has a suspicion they've caught on already and if Jinx/Powder end up falling asleep curled up on Vi everytime. Well, nobody is going to snitch.

15.) It would be so easy to say Vi cries at movies that aren't sad but it would definitely have to be Jinx. Her perception of reality isn't quite the same as most people's. There can be something so incredibly distressing and sad about a tin-can accidentally getting knocked off a counter, with the right lighting and the right music, that nobody but her seems to understand. Depending on the moment, Vi will sometimes rib her about it but she mostly takes it in stride even if she doesn't get it.

16.) Jinx tries to hog the covers but not even the shimmer in her blood makes her strong enough to wrestle them from Vi. Jinx/Powder always, somehow, getting completely covered by Vi and the covers anyway. If Vi is asleep near them there's some kind of homing system in her that finds them everytime. The only time this isn't true is if Vi is the one being held, little spoon or any other position

.

17.) Vi is way more competitive. No one from the outside looking in could judge who was more competitive. They both know Vi can't say no to a challenge even if she doesn't win every time, Jinx/Powder always give her a run for her money. Jinx/Powder likes that Vi can win against her though, when it's things she finds hot. Other times it's flat out frustrating and sometimes embarrassing.

18.) We've all seen Vi when she's drunk lol. She's touchy, emotional, and a bit looser with her movements and just existing in general. I would not say she's an angry drunk because if I had that rat guy dancing up on me after a lesbian situationship break-up, after fist fighting, in an overstimulating bar, I'd probably also punch him. She's normally soft when she's sober, when drunk she can be even softer to the point of mush at home.

Jinx/Powder. My girl drunk is a wonder. There's 2 scenarios if she can even get drunk with the shimmer. The first is she's incredibly useless and giggly. She may as well be dead weight and has to be lugged around everywhere even if she has control over her limbs. She is incredibly touchy, you can imagine being toted around isn't the worst thing to her. She's in surprisingly good graces and doesn't like to get drunk in public like this.

The second scenario is that she's motivated as hell and has the confidence of a god. She's never made more things in her life but in the morning when she wakes up she can't even understand them. They do work perfectly but what they're supposed to do is an unsolvable mystery. She's all over the place bouncing from wall to wall, an unmitigated whirlwind.

19.) Their biggest fight has to be just, I think with most people, misunderstandings. With the mental health of both of them they both have needs that aren't always clear, to others or themselves. Vi HAS to have trauma from her life, in the very least she's still recovering from the prison system and not even counting the unprocessed grief of what happened before and after prison.

Jinx did a lot of fucked up things. For the both of them this would be a major thing they'd have to work through together. Both how Vi views Jinx and how Jinx views herself.

20.) Wouldn't it be funny if Vi brought home a stray cat and Jinx/Powder brought home a stray puppy at the same time? They're both being cagey about something and the other can't figure it out, they suspect the other already knows about their adopted animal. It turns out they're both idiots and reveal them at the same time, only to laugh and keep them both.

They reminded the other of each other 😔. Stink Maw would be a really, really good name for a dog is all I'm saying.

21.) The time differences in each other's schedules was something they both had to acclimate to for sure. There is enough space in their shared apartment for them to figure out how to prepare for the morning and work on late night projects without disturbing each other. They figured out a system that works through many lessons learned and conversations had.

Vis biggest learning experience is what Jinx/Powder needs for their mental health. It isn't always easy and it isn't always straight forward.

Jinx and Powder had to learn the other side of that and know when to ask for things/communicate what they need. They both continue to learn and build patience, understanding and love for each other in this regard.

22.) Jinx and Powders love language would be touching, gifts and making time for Vi. Jinx' looks a little different than Powders for sure, it's louder and more boisterous. Unpredictable, it could be something small and thoughtful or something wildly impressive and grand. No matter what it is it always sweeps Vi off of her feet, sometimes literally lol.

Powder's could be described as consistent, thoughtful and sometimes silly but the size and scale are relatively the same every time. Sometimes it's a planned date night at the house with Vis favorite meal cooked, sometimes it's a bath drawn ahead of time for a night of recovering and decompression before Vi even gets home.

Vi's love language is touching, little touches and kisses. Acts of service and little, daily tasks that need to be done regularly but she takes care of it and enjoys doing it. Not only for the feeling of accomplishing things and running a well maintained ship but because she knows Jinx/Powder won't have to worry about it. One less thing on their mind if it was on their mind in the first place. Vi knows they can neglect basic care sometimes Jinx more so than Powder. Vi would include them in some of the chores to make sure they were part of the household, and to give them the opportunity to add in their own flair and taste.

23.) Given the circumstances, Jinx/Powder would initiate cuddly more but not by a wide margin. When the time makes sense I don't think you could keep them away from each other. Considering their history, they'd eat up as much physical reassurance that the other is there in the flesh as possible.

24.) Personally I love the idea of Vi being the protector, the big spoon if you will. Most of the time this is true but on the not-quite rare but uncommon night Vi is the small spoon. Jinx/Powder need to be able to protect Vi too, to comfort, reassure, and love her. Vi deserves the space to be held, and to be small, and to rest and let her guard down.

25.) This one can go in for way too long. Vi loves that they're so smart, she would kill to be able to see the world from Jinx/Powders eyes because she knows it would be like seeing a galaxy in high definition for the first time. She'd love the opportunity to see inside their head a little more intimately. She loves when they find something they love, how they get to be soft and unguarded. How they act around kids and how they seem to be on the same wave length. She loves their tenacity, to create and deconstruct something until they fully understand it.

Jinx and Powder love how soft hearted and kind Vi is. How strong she is both physically and emotionally, she keeps getting back up no matter what hits her. They both love and hate how she never, ever gives up on something she truly and deeply loves. She loves how cool and intimidating Vi can be, how big she can make her presence and on the other side of that coin, how lame and corny she can be just for them.

26.) JINX, Jinx/Powder easily. Vi thinks she going to get road rage one time only for Jinx/Powder to jump in before she can even think about what to do. They're rolling the window down, they're calling them every name under the sun, they're flipping them off and reaching over Vi honk the horn. Vi is mostly embarrassed if not a little frightened and a little turned on.

When they have to drive, Jinx is rarely behind the wheel. She knows Vi doesn't like her driving, and has openly said that in different words and that works out just fine with her. Driving is boring and yelling from the passenger seat is much more entertaining and she gets to be the DJ.

Powder's driving isn't great but it's good enough compared to what Jinx' would be she does some of the driving between the two of them. As crazy as she is with road rage she only changes her driving style a little bit, unnoticeable to anyone else on the road. Vi can see it and it cracks her up, it's never enough to be unsafe but just enough for Vi to see what she was going for.

27.) The most risky place they've had sex is in Vi's office during working hours, with clear glass windows and no blinds or curtains. It's a small workplace, towards the end of lunch. They had just finished redressing and fixing each other's everything when people started walking back in. A rival to that is behind the back of the curtains of the innovators competition, right before Powder was set to present her entry for the year. They may have cut it a little too close to the opening, there may or may not be rumors of Powder having a mystery girlfriend going around.

28.) Jinx/Powder is the food stealer. Easy. Vi orders extra food specifically for them to steal it from her. There's an allure to stealing food from Vi that Vi uses to her advantage to feed them. Sometimes Vi steals a bite or two from Jinx/Powder to even it out. Plus Jinx/Powder always order far more adventurous things than Vi normally would for a meal. This way she gets to expand her palette a little too.

29.) Their first date is an accident. An accident in the way that neither of them really realized it was a date until well after the fact. It was a normal outing for the both of them, normal for going out on the weekend to a newly opened sit down food cart/stand that promised to blow expectations out of the water. In the very least for the first or second week of being open.

Vi and Jinx/Powder knew to jump on early openings to get the best version of anything they had to offer. It was rare businesses like that stayed good for longer than a month. To take full advantage of the novelty of the situation they both put more effort into their usual outing attire. It just so happened that when they both did it, unplanned, that they looked like any two women out for a date night on the town.

When it comes up they both still laugh about it and look back at it with utter fondness. The way they acted bashful and giddy for no reason other than seeing each other in date-level clothing. Vi holding the curtain aside as a joke shared between them at first, sarcasm shifting into adoration when Jinx/Powder smoothed her hand over Vi's arm guiding her into the cart. Jinx/Powder holding Vi's arm from the entrance to the seats.

Both agree, they were too lovestruck and in denial at the moment to put a name to it but it was undeniably their first date looking back.

30.) I think the classic names they have for each other are nice. Pow-Pow, Pow, Vi. I did see someone have Vi call Jinx J and honestly I think that's really cute and I'm sticking with it.

31.) Their anniversary would be really intimate I think. They'd go to work, go do their chores, make sure everything is buttoned up and taken care of for the day. More so and with enough care that people notice it every year, they never tell anyone what the day means or what it is so anyone's guess is as good as the others.

When they finish everything, they grab each other and head to the top of the roof of their shared apartment. Not regularly accessed and near impossible for anyone not familiar with the parkour required to navigate Zaun, ensuring privacy for the evening. Extra blankets, snacks and some pillows for soft padding to lie down on, where they spend the evening and into the night enjoying each others company.

Talking about whatever they want, how the other's day went, and imagining a trip far away from the twin cities. Jinx brought sparklers, quiet and impressively brilliant for how small they were. A private show for the both of them to celebrate finding their way back to each other time and time again.

32.) You couldn't separate the two of them when they have a moment alone together. They can be apart, they aren't reliant on each other as they've proven very violently, with great effort that they can be independent. With all the reconciliation, work and effort, time and love that they've shared and put into healing on their own and finally back together they are going to put it to good use.

The time separated did them both good, they are loathe to admit it but realistically they needed the time apart to grieve all of the loss they experienced. While they couldn't do it together, they can appreciate and celebrate the other now and in the moment.

And that moment just happens to call for always touching the other, holding hands, being Vi's human backpack or front pack. Vi receiving a soft and loving shoulder and back massage, having her hair played with and combed through. You name it, they're doing it at any moment they can spare. Usually and almost exclusively in their shared apartment where their guards come down and no one bothers them.

33.) I don't think they get married! They might get each other rings, they might have an extra special day, they might even say vows in their own ways. Hushed, sincere and soul deep promises made during late nights.

I don't think they ever get married officially with paperwork or witnesses, or a celebration or anything. I don't think they'd even put a name to it, they would just know. They wouldn't need anything like that for each other, they never had.

I don't think Zaun had a big wedding culture, frankly. Seeing people together for life in whatever way made sense for them is just reflected culturally in both of them.

34.) Powder can be pretty easy to cheer up most days, some well thought out treats and attention spent on her usually peps her back up. On harder days a shoulder to lean on, a grounding arm around the waist, an open ear and longer, private moments spent together are what she needs. And rarely, ever so rarely, she needs some time alone to deal with her demons in as much peace as she can get.

Vi is pretty similar. Probably minus the treats but attention and reassurances go a long way with her on bad days. Quiet time to decompress and to hold or be held and ground her in the moment are what make bad days better. Other times having Jinx/Powder cheer her on or silently but supportively watch her go a couple rounds with her boxing sets takes the tension out of the day and anxious energy out of her body.

Jinx, like the other two, has different days with different needs. Silent days are hard, because Vi has a better understanding of the weight that Jinx carries with her and that Jinx is the only one who can fight her own battles when they're in her head. The only thing she can do these days is give her what she needs and what she asks for within reason. Usually it's simple things that help her take care of herself like water, basic food and some time together on the couch in relative silence.

On days she's down right angry Vi will set her up with her training equipment if she isn't feeling like punching things. Unsurprisingly, when you're used to just blowing shit up to release tension you still need to get that explosive energy out one way or the other. This was what they found accessible and worked well, mostly, on days like these. Sometimes, on days it just doesn't work, Vi will help Jinx find a good spot with all the materials she needs along the way to blow up some shit in the fissures. These days are far and few between, and they're work shopping scenarios she can do this more regularly with more productive results.

35.) We get a pretty clear picture of what Jinx/Powders taste in music is. I couldn't put a specific name to the genre but it's pretty cool music. Rock? Pop? Indie x genres? All three and something altogether different. She's added some different genres peppered in but they're relatively obscure and can best be described as noise lol.

Vi would like classic, annoying workout playlists lol. Thinking YouTube playlist "Top 100 workout songs of all time" kind of shit. She's not pigeon holed though, she also likes dad rock, shitty pop songs, some cheesy ass country songs mixed in along with some bangers like old town road. She's a women of culture and Jinx/Powder flips her endless shit about her music taste. Endearingly of course, she can't listen to those songs anymore without thinking of Vi.

36.) I've been loving these questions because it isn't who is the most of anything with these two. They're both equally protective, it looks unique for each one.

37.) Oppenheimer vs Barbie. I still haven't seen either one so I'm taking a shot in the dark. I think they'd both want to watch both for a lot of different reasons. Women are the primary reason for both movies and both ladies. Based on reviews I'd say they would both prefer Oppenheimer but would still like moments and make references to Barbie scenes for fun.

They may or may not have Barbie themed halloween costumes, there's so many to choose from who's to say.

38.) Oof. They'd be so good with kids but would they choose to adopt one is the real question. Could Jinx ever, ever overcome the feelings of personal fault for Isha's death? People can argue all they want until they're blue in the face on this one but! It wasn't Jinx's fault Isha died, even if she still holds on to guilt for it.

Maybe the cat and/or dog would be a good start. To help Jinx see evidence that she isn't a Jinx, that not everything dies because of her existing around them. Instead, with better circumstances, a better world and a safer environment things thrive when she is around. She makes things bloom, she bursts with color and life that only she can show people and it's infectious. I still don't know if they could go through with it on purpose or if a kid falling into their lives again like Isha did would be too much for Jinx.

Maybe it would have to come from Vi in the way the kid would have to fall into Vi's life, on Vi's time. She introduces and brings the kid into both of their lives, with some weight taken off Jinx because the kid isn't Hers yet it's Vis. I can't imagine it would be easy, Vi couldn't give up on the kid and Jinx would never ask her to. It would take time for Jinx to come around, to take them in as her own kid again. She'd love them all the same but putting that hurt to rest would be hard and take time.

39.) LOL. Uh yeah they'd get along with each other's families for obvious reasons because they're kind of gone in one universe and they are each other's family in the other. It begs the question if they would ever be out about it with their alive family though.

Weirder things have happened in Zaun tbh, weirder things have happened in the world. I'm not about to come up with real world defenses here. After all the absolute shit they've been through together, the time spent growing up apart from each other independently, and their ages at this point I think they would eventually tell people.

One by one and privately. It's never a big thing but slowly, ever so slowly they let everyone they deem important know. You can guess there are parties completely unsurprised by this. There are many they don't tell.

40.) Vi shops for gifts for the holidays well ahead of time and they're normally smaller things but meaningful. She isn't rich but she is thoughtful and in addition to the gifts, if there is something she can do for people, fix something, or spend time with them she makes plans as a gift. If there isn't anything obvious to give or help with she can get a little stressed mainly because that person is Jinx/Powder.

When she already spends time with her and fixes everything when it breaks ASAP she doesn't know what else to give her. She always figures something out, Jinx/Powder helps her figure it out of course, but it ends up working out.

Jinx/Powder always, ALWAYS manages to be the best gift givers. They have an uncanny way of remembering or knowing what people mentioned wanting or needing. She also isn't rich but she is artistic and innovative, if she can't make it, create it or fix it she finds a way to procure it.

She still hasn't lost her tricks of the trade from Zaun and if there is an...unagreed upon trade between her and a shopkeeper when they aren't looking...well. No one is any wiser to it, it might be because the shopkeeper was in need of such a thing anyway.

And!!!! Woof!!! That's it guys. If you made it this far thanks for reading my scrambled narrative and thoughts. If you have any of your own ideas feel free to discuss, jump in or comment. I love reading peoples own interpretations of things and it adds to the creativity of it all.

[hiraethwrote]

don’t mind me, just going to queue up some amazing fics while i sulk a little about not participating in kinktober 🥲

[scare-ard--sleigh]

ohhhhhhhhhh my goddddddddd and now the fucking t*ble t*nnis guy is passive aggressively up my ass : \

[doctorwhoisadhd]

im listening to the torchwood soundtrack on youtube while reading another life and huh... i guess i DO tune into non-diegetic music a lot, dont i??? and yeah sure i have a very good tonal memory especially being that i have a TON of practice with aural skills but i got to the woman on the roof and i remember thinking about how interesting the music was when i watched that episode. i remember what was happening visually on the screen when this played. and pearl and the ghostmaker, i remember this melody even though i lowkey hated that episode

[snowstories]

[Image: quote reading 'As my friend Julian puts it, only half winkingly: "God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation."' End description.]

that quote like “god gave us transness for the same reason he made grapes but not wine; yeast but no loaves — so we may partake in the divine act of creation”

[docholligay]

Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?

Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.

Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!

But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"

Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.

I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.

Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.

But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.

Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.

Also, we don't censor words here.

[a-b-riddle]

Part Six

Can't stop thinking about reader finally giving the boys a taste of their own medicine. And hurting my own feelings in the process of it all. I wanted to make this a baddie reader chapter, but its just a saddie reader chapter. I played Down Bad by T.S on repeat while writing this. Y'all need to thank @blueladys-world for being my ventor for this part.

None of them came the next day to pick up the box of everything you had collected. By everything, quite literally everything. Birthday cards and gifts. Keepsakes from your time together they had given you. Even going as far as returning lingerie they had given you. You didn't want any trace of them in your home anymore. You were gonna have to work hard in rebuilding it to be your safe space once again.

You were surprised that someone from the expo had DM'd you. Renée was an author who had tried to stop by to your stand, but got too caught up in the day. She was in London, working on her next series installment and wanted to pick your brain. Writer to writer.

The two of you agreed on a time. She had mentioned wanting to try this restaurant the last time she visited and you already knew you would be putting that meal on a credit card. It was a bit of splurge, but after the past week you deserved it. You could even wear that sexy black number that had been collecting dust in your closet.

By the time you were done getting ready and squeezing into your dress, you looked more ready for a date than dinner with a colleague.

A colleague. You had a colleague!!!

The knock on the door pulled you from your girlish glee. You didn't need to guess who it was. Your friends knew to text you before they came over and Renée had agreed just to meet you at the restaurant.

It was one of them.

You didn't even t bother looking through your peephole before you opened the door to find Johnny standing there with a floral arrangement of your favorite flowers.

Johnny began to speak, afraid you were going to shut him down immediately no less. But no words came out. His eyes traveled up and down your body, taking you in.

A vision.

You wanted to snap at him that your eyes weren't located on your hips. But damn if it didn’t feel empowering seeing Johnny’s gaze gloss over.

"Fuck me." He swore, gathering his bearings before realizing you were dressed. In a sexy black dress and heels and makeup and oh, fuck you were going out. "Where are you going?"

"First off, none of your business," you said holding a finger up. "And secondly, what are you doing here?"

"Listen," "Bon-"

"The box is right there." You said pointing to a large cardboard box on the floor. "That's everything."

"If you just let me make it-"

"Up to me?" You cut him off again. "I'm over it. Really."

"Just give me a chance."

"Either you haven't spoken to the other two to know I am well and truly done with this situationship, or you’re hoping some half-ass apology and flowers will let you get a last fuck in and the skedaddle. So hopefully if it was latter, hopefully the former answered that for ya.”

So if that's all you came here for, I've got to get going. My reservation is at seven and it's rude to keep a friend waiting."

"It's been a week and you're already going on a date?" He accused.

"Who said anything about a date?" You didn't outright say it wasn't. Where would be the fun in that? “It's just dinner with a colleague.” You didn’t want to lie. It wasn’t a date. But you didn’t need to say it was a woman. “Hardly a date.”

“Look at the sight of ye!" He said, taking the opportunity to take a quick look at how deliciously your ass filled that dress. “A fookin’ dinner with a colleague. Like one of us would show up to a briefing like that.” You opened your compact. Not needed in the age of cellphones but loving the feminine touch.

There was something so... seductive about using a compact mirror to apply your lipstick.

“Kyle does have the legs for this dress.” You said, applying that lipstick he loves. That same shade that looked beautiful on your lips. The same lipstick you would mark all over Johnny’s body. “Believe what you want. Not my problem anymore.”

You put your compact back in your purse along with the lipstick in case you needed to reapply it after dinner.

Johnny's eyes zeroed in on your lips before his eyes met yours. That's when you felt it again. That undeniably spark of chemistry that you had with him. With all of them. That feeling that sucked the very breath from your lungs and for a moment all you could see was the man in front of you.

"Bonnie," he said placing his hands on your neck. His thumbs stroking your cheeks softly. "Just one more chance." He begged, his voice breaking. "I'm a fucking git, but I won't let you go again. I won't leave." You knew that when it came to promises, Johnny had proven that even if he didn't mean to break them, he had forgotten he made them in the first place.

But in that moment you didn't care. Even after everything, Meredith was right. You had loved them. Everything else had ended so shitty. John had blamed you. Kyle had only shown up until it was too late. And Simon. The last time you would ever hear his voice was after he said such cruel things to you.

No.

If you were done with Johnny, you won't let the last time he fucked you being a quick, rough fuck doggystyle before leaving you naked and alone in your bed.

No. The last time with Johnny needed to be good. It might make it harder to finally leave, but you needed this. You needed to know that he could still make love to you and not just fuck you like an animal in heat.

"Johnny?" You asked. Your mouth dangerously close to his. "I don't want you to fuck me."

"I don't have to," he said, starting to take a step back to give you some space before your hands reached his. Holding him in place.

He can't let you go. You couldn't let him go. Not yet. Just one more. You needed just one more time to get him out of your system. The closure you needed.

"Make love to me." You begged, your eyes pleading. "I need to know that I wasn't just something you wanted to fuck." You don't move as his eyes search yours, looking for reassurance. When you nod, his mouth softly touches your own.

His hands travel along your body, but never fully leave you. Sliding your neck to your back. Pulling your body closer to his. A hand placed on your hip so tightly he's afraid you might disappear.

There's no rush, no haste in his touch. His mouth not eager to devour you.

He's slow. With his hands, his tongue. Even when he picks you up and walks to your bedroom with your legs around his waist.

He doesn't throw you on the bed.

Not this time.

He lays you down. His body laying on top of yours. His hand skimming along your bare thighs, but not daring to travel any higher.

But damn you needed him. You wanted love making, but if he didn't get inside you soon, you weren't sure you could let him go after this. You weren't sure you would be able to leave.

"Johnny," you whimpered, pulling away from his mouth. "Please." You took his hand, putting it between your thigh. Aching for any friction.

He obeyed without hesitation. If you told him to get on his bark, he would in that moment. Anything to make you happy. Anything to keep you.

"Got to get you out of this dress first." He resting on his knees before he began to slide the black satin from your thighs to your stomach. You maneuvered, helping him undress you leaving you in nothing.

"I thought you liked the dress." You couldn't help, but tease. Your hand finding its home on the back of his neck, pulling you to him once more.

In a tone lacking any note of humor and in all seriousness, he looked at you. Really looking at you. Taking in how your smile reached your beautiful eyes before he said, "I want you bare to me when I take you."

You felt your stomach flutter at his words before he began to take off his clothes.

He joined you again. His body relaxing when they got between your legs again. His mouth traveled from your exposed neck to your nipples. Sucking and flicking them with his tongue until your back arched. Pressing harder into his mouth.

Your hands tangled in his soft brown hair before you boldly guided him to your already dripping core. He slid down your body before his hands began to push your knees apart until you were fully expose to him.

With your knees bent, Johnny settled on his stomach, placing soft kisses on your soft inner thighs. God, did he love seeing you squirm. He smiled at your tortured expression before looking down at your sex. "There she is." He said before placing a kiss on your pussy.

It wasn't sloppy. He wasn't diving in and licking at your center like so many times before. He was kissing it just as tenderly as he kissed your mouth. Slowly building it deeper and deeper. Adding tongue. Breaking away to readjust his head.

The delicious ache between your thighs began to become to unbearable. "Need you inside me." You panted. "Johnny-"

"Shhh." He soothed. "Got to warm you up first , Bonnie." He said before slipping his finger inside of you. One was all it took before your head settled against the pillows again. When your body relaxed, he added another. He would need to add three to make sure you were good and ready.

His digits stroked that spongy spot inside of you that made your toes curl. "You're barely fitting around my fingers." Johnny was a good 6 inches in length, but the girth is what always did you in. It hurt to take anything past his head into your mouth. If you fucked him without any preparation, especially after a week of no sex, he would tear you into too.

His tongue caressed your clit, your eyes squeezing shut as you felt your first orgasm creeping up on you.

"Johnny." You moaned, your fingers running through his soft brown hair.

"Give it to me, beauty." He panted. "Come on my face. Squeeze my fingers, Lass." He begged before his mouth went back to you.

It was like lightning. Your body now sensitive after being forsaken for so long. Your vision blurred and before you could process it, Johnny was sitting on his haunches between your legs, stroking his cock.

You could only nod, dazed and barely keeping a grip onto the reality of what this was.

The end.

He leaned forward, his cock nestling against you. You knew this was going to be nothing compared to his fingers. "Tell me if I need to stop."

You smiled, mockingly. Reminding him, "Not our first time together, Johnny." just our last.

"You were wrapped tight around my fingers." He gave a half smile before kissing your forehead. The gesture like a knife twisting in your heart. "I just don't want to hurt you."

"I'm ready." You brought your legs around his waist again. Pulling him to you, your arms wrapping around his neck as your mouths meet.

He presses into you. The head of his cock sliding inside just one or two inches. You body contracting around him in a small spasm. He swallows your moan and lets you adjust. He pulls away before looking down where the two of you meet.

"I could die like this, Lass." He said, his breath coming out unsteady as he tries his best to control himself. So close to just burying himself inside of you to the fucking hilt. "Seeing you like this is this first thing I want to see when I make it to the other side." You let out a choked cry as he pushes deeper inside you. Another inch. And another. And another until you're taking all of him.

He slurs something that sound like "fuck", but you are in too much of a daze to care. You arch into him, trying to get closer.

His thrusts are slow and deep. His pubic bone brushing against your clit making you whine and squirm. Begging for more.

You're not sure how long he had fucked you like that.

You needed it to stop.

You couldn't handle it. The softness. His words.

I could die like this, Lass.

Your lip quivered as you told him you wanted to be on top. You needed a moment. A chance to create a bit of space before he shattered your world yet again.

He pulled out. His absence already making you ache for him again before he settled beside you.

You squatted above his cock. Your feet flat against the mattress as you grabbed his hardness and slipping it inside of you. The sound you let out was pornographic. A high pitched, soft moan slipping from your lips as he buried himself inside of you again.

You placed you hands on his chest. Using the leverage to ride him. Your arms serving as barrier for you to get your bearings.

You used his body just as he had used yours. Throwing your head back, you moved faster and faster. Readjusting so your hands went from his chest to his stomach, giving him a better view of your connecting bodies.

His hand slips between the two of you, thumb pressing against your clit, and you tighten even more around. A needy whimper coming out of your throat. The sound mixing in with the sounds of his labored breathing and slapping skin as he begins to fuck up into you.

Even though he had been doing all the work for the last several minutes, you felt the tension start to creep into your calf.

"Fuck fuck fuck." You screech, barely able to hold yourself up any longer. "Ow." You hissed as the cramp took hold.

"Leg cramp?" He asked, not even faltering in his thrusts. You pathetically nod before he takes it upon himself to flip you on your back again.

"I'm going to do this every chance I can." He promises, pressing a searing kiss onto your exposed neck. "Any chance you'll give me." You can't take it. His words, his mouth, his fucking cock. It's too much. "I'm going to show you how much I want you. How much I want to fucking worship ye. Do anything to make you feel good. Not going to leave you again like that, Bonnie."

You reach for him again, pull him into a searing kiss just to shut him up. You need him to shut up. You couldn't take his false promises. You wouldn't survive it. Couldn't.

"Shit." His thrusts quicken, his thumb returning to your swollen bud. Flicking it in a way he had crafted into an art. He buries his face into your neck and you know he's getting close.

You weren't too far behind.

He didn't want to come, not yet, but this was fully out of his control. It was pathetic. A week without sex and you had him nearly coming in the first ten minutes.

But that's what you want. To see him lost in the idea that you would stay.

"Johnny." You groan out. "Please. Cum inside me."

He draws fast, beautiful circles around your clit that immediately push you over the edge. You shut your eyes tight, squeezing him like a vice as you come in strong waves, continuing to push inside you.

in out in out in out.

Deliciously clenching around him tighter and tighter until he can't take it anymore.

"Fuck," he says again, and you see it in his face, and you see it in his face, the second it's all over for him. You want to sear the image in your head. Keep it there forever. Knowing you'll never see it again. The way those enchanting blue eyes squint nearly shut before closing in complete ecstacy.

His mouth would open. A moan caught in his throat that he isn't ready to let go.

His hand closes around your hip, holding you to him while he presses as far as he can go, and it's only then do you feel his cock twitch in quick, jerky movements. He moans out your name before taking your mouth into a searing kiss.

"I fucking love you." He says. "So fucking much."

He was still under the blanket when you returned from the bathroom. You picked up your clothes up from the floor. Looking at the clock realizing you had less than five minutes to get out the door before you would be late for dinner.

"What are you doing?" he asked. You couldn't look at him. Hearing the panic in his voice almost made you stop. Tell him it really was just dinner with a colleague. A woman. That you would be back. Beg him to wait until you came home.

"I can't cancel on the dinner." You said slipping your feet into your heels. "This was a mistake."

You weren't sure why you said it. You weren't sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself. If you wanted to hurt him or make him think you regretted it when you would truthfully do it again. You would do it again and again. You would never stop.

Like Johnny, you could have died in that moment, but for a completely different. Where he would be content, you would be saved from the pain. The pain currently coursing throughout your very soul.

"Lock the door behind you." You say as you practically sprint out the bedroom. Only slowing in your stride to snatch your purse off the kitchen counter before running out. The door slamming behind you.

The restaurant was nicer than you expected. The wine alone was the price of an entree. You didn't seem to be phased at all and were relieved when Renée insisted on picking up the bill.

Your dinner had been delicious and the conversation even better. Renée wrote fantasy romance and wanted to pick your brain about a Why Choose. You had nearly spent out the over priced wine you weren't even really enjoying. Oh the irony.

"It's like all the rage now, but it's hard to make more than one appealing as the love interest. You should have seen the Goodreads comments on my last book. So many people bitched about my FMC not ending up with a character who was quite literally her adopted brother."

"So," you took a breath trying to find the words. "I'm going to be honest. I only read your latest book and I loved Luka. But I can't compare him to other MMCs you've written about so I don't know if they are similar or different. But what I can say is that I'm seeing like this trend of MMCs where they are all this dark-haired, brooding or mysterious character who dislikes mostly everyone and is only soft for either a select few or only the FMC."

"I think if you are going to write a Why Choose you need to think of guys you wouldn't mind falling in love with." You couldn't help, but think of what drew you to your boys. "One could be the leader. Someone who isn't afraid to have his neck on the line. To make sure everyone else is taken care of and being strong enough to handle the stress of that. He would be big on words of affirmation. Lifting the FMC up. For me, it would be someone that I know will take care of business. He's confident in his decision. That confidence would extend to me." You clear your throat. "If I was the FMC, that is."

"Okay." She nodded, pulling out a pen and notepad. "You don't mind if I-"

"I don't write about polygamy." Crossed that bridge. Currently trying to burn it. "So feel free."

"Another could be the one who it's so easy to fall in love with their charm. The one who falls to his knees. Wanting to worship every inch of her. The one who makes her laugh. That one to make her forget about the sadness that creeps into her bones. The one to hold her whenever he could. He's about quality time and physical touch."

"So different love languages." She said, her pen quickly scribbling.

"Yeah." You said, leaning forward. "Then there is the gift giver." Your mind went to Gaz. Most of the gifts and trinkets in the box sitting by your door had came from him. He had gotten you new earbuds when yours broke. When you were being harassed at your gym, he had bought you and him a membership at a different one. "The one who would give her the world if she asked for it. If you're going with a high fantasy then maybe the one to take note of something at a market that the FMC had been eyeing and he bought it for her. Just someone who takes notice like that."

"So acts of service would fall with all of them then you think?"

No. Simon had been the one who probably spent the least amount of money on you. He didn't praise you like John. He didn't even try to attach himself at your hip like Johnny.

But if you needed something fixed, he would come fix it himself. He'd be damned letting a strange man into your apartment. And alone? Fucking forget about it. The one who hated any sort of cardio activity outside of fucking you, but didn't hesitate in attempting to keep up with you when you wanted to go on a run and get some fresh air. If you needed something done, he didn't pay someone else to do it. He did it. If you wanted to do something, he made it happen. He made you safe.

You couldn't bring yourself to say explain it. Your eyes begin to itch. Warning you to think of something else.

So instead you just told her yeah. That they would all commit acts of service. And even in your hypothetical explanation of characters that haven't even been written yet, Simon was still the ghost among them.

"Lucky fucking girl." Renée said setting down her pen.

"Yeah." You said, downing the rest of your wine.

You walked home. The cool crisp wind feeling like it was whipping your exposed skin. It was soothing as the ghost of Johnny's touch still seemed to burn you.

You had hoped that you would get some closure, but you just felt hollow. You came twice and still manage to leave unsatisfied. Johnny wasn't malicious... he was Johnny. He wasn't like the others. Simon would never apologize and John and Kyle wouldn't try to keep reaching out after you told them know once.

Johnny couldn't stand you being mad at him. He never could. He would beg and beg for your forgiveness. You didn't regret fucking him one last time. He needed to know that you were well and truly done. There was no going back from this.

"Hey, Love!" You were pulled from your thoughts at the sound of a voice coming from a source you couldn't see. You perked up, quickly scanning the dimly lit street before your eyes settled on a cluster of shadows just across the street. "Yeah." The slurring voice said again. "Talking to you gorgeous!"

You resumed your trek home. Now picking up your pace. "Don't be like that! Where ya off to?" The voice followed you. You kept your gaze straight. You were three minutes away. Three minutes and you would be at your building.

Three minutes.

Three minutes.

"What's the rush?" Another voice joined the cacophony. "Just want to have a chat."

You turned. They were maybe twenty feet away. You kept your eyes glued to them as your started to make a run for it.

You had made it about ten feet before your body collided with someone. Firm hands gripped your upper arms, steading you as you threatened to fall back.

You sucked in a breath of air, ready to scream when you looked up. It was too dark to make out the man's facial features. He was tall. His head eclipsing the street lamp just behind him. You shook beneath his hands. The voices behind you now silent.

"Keep walking." You didn't need to see his face. You knew that deep timber voice anywhere. He released you from his grip before letting you pass him.

"Just wanted to have a chat." You heard one of them try to reason. "No harm done."

"No harm done yet." Was the last thing you heard Simon say before you broke out into a full fledged run.

[sarahreesbrennan]

Are all the themes in “in other lands” supposed to be a commentary on something? Or do you just like writing sex scenes between minors, age gaps, and reverse misogyny?

Genuine question.

Ohhh, my dear anon, I don't believe this is a genuine question.

But it does bring up something I've been meaning to talk about. So I'll take the bait.

Firstly. Yes, my work contains a commentary on the world around us. I wonder what I could be doing with the child soldiers being sexually active in their teens (people hook up right after battles), and the age gap relationship ending in the younger one being too mature for the elder. What could I possibly have been attempting when I said 'how absurd gender roles are, when projected onto people we haven't been accustomed by our own society to see that way'? I wasn't being subtle, that's for sure.

Secondly. Yes I do enjoy writing! I think I should, it's my life's work. Am I titillated by my own writing, no - though I think it's fine to be. The sex scenes of In Other Lands aren't especially titillating, to be honest. It is interesting to me how often people sneer at women for writing romance and sex scenes, having 'book boyfriends,' insinuating women writers fancy their own characters. Women having too much immoral fun! Whereas men clearly write about sex for high literary purposes.

… I have to say from my experience of women and men's writing, I haven't found that to be true.

I’m not in this to have an internet argument. Mostly people use bad faith takes to poke at others from the other side of a screen for kicks. But I do know some truly internalise the attitude that writing certain things is wrong, that anyone who makes mistakes must be shunned as impure, and that is a deeply Victorian and restrictive attitude that guarantees unhappiness.

I've become increasingly troubled by the very binary and extreme ways of thinking I see arising on the internet. They come naturally from people being in echo chambers, becoming hostile to differing opinions, and the age-old conundrum of wanting to be good, fearing you aren't, and making the futile effort to be free of sin. It makes me think of Tennyson, who when travelling through Ireland at the time of the Great Famine, said nobody should talk about the 'Irish distress' to him and insisted the window shades of his carriage be shut as he went from castle to castle. So he wouldn't see the bodies. But that didn't make the bodies cease to be.

In Les Mis, Victor Hugo explores why someone might steal, what that means about them and their circumstances, and who they might be - and explores why someone else is made terribly unhappy, and endangers others, through their own too rigid adherence to judgement and condemnation without pity. The story understands both Jean Valjean the thief and Javert the policeman. Javert’s way of thinking is the one that inevitably leads to tragedy.

Depiction isn't endorsement. Depiction is discussion.

Many of my loved ones have had widely varying relationships to and experience of sex (including 'none'). They've felt all different types of ways about it. If writing about them is not permissible, I close them out. I'd much rather a dialogue be open than closed.

I do understand the urge to write what seems right to others. I've been brain-poisoned that way myself. I used to worry so much about my female characters doing the wrong things, because then they'd be justly hated! Then I noted which of my writer friends had people love their female characters the most - and it was the one who wrote their female characters as screwing up massively, making rash and sometimes wrong decisions. Who wrote them as people. Because that's what people do. That's what feels true to readers.

I want my characters to feel true to readers. I want my characters to react in messy ways to imperfect situations. I love fantasy, I love wild action and I love deep thought, and I want to engage. That's what In Other Lands is about. That's even more what Long Live Evil is about. That sexy lady who sashays in to have sexy sex with the hero - what is her deal? Someone who tricks and lies to others - why are they doing that, how did they get so skilled at it? What makes one person cruelly judgemental, and another ignore all boundaries? What makes Carmen Maria Machado describe ‘fictional queer villains’ as ‘by far the most interesting characters’? What irritates people about women having a great time? What attracts us to power, to fiction, and to transgression?

I don’t know the answers to all those questions, but I know I want to explore them. And I know one more thing.

If the moral thing to do is shut people out and shut people up? Count me among the villains.

[dollishbabess]

I am getting tired of people fainting over batfam ages and how confusing it is

So let me clear it up, dick Grayson is about like 27 and Jason is like 22-23 because jason died at 15-14 and Tim became robin at like 12-13 when Jason would’ve turned 16 that year but his absence was loud enough but that makes Jason older then Tim by 3 or 4 years but the problem is most people don’t think Jason and Tim have a small age gap but they do and it makes sense for Jason to be like 22-23 and dick Grayson to be like 27 because when Jason was 12 and adopted as robin, dick was moving out at like 18, which makes them have a six year or seven year age gap WHICH makes sense but the person who fucks up the whole timeline is Tim being 18 for years because Steph is said to be 18 when Steph is supposed to be a bit older then Tim and apparently Tim was there for the Grayson fall which makes 0 sense which I kinda call poor writing in characters, secondly tbh I don’t think Damian was alive when Jason died but he should be because he’s like 14? And the time Tim was robin at like 12-13, Damian should’ve been 9 but Jason was kinda in the league when Damian was like toddler/ baby?? The problem is they have multiple writers and I have shown Tim’s and Jason’s and dick’s age but what about Damian’s?

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil,

First off, Good Omens is so wonderful— thank you (and Terry Pratchett and David Tennant and Michael Sheen!) for bringing Crowley and Aziraphale into existence. They bring so much joy to me and to so many people!

Secondly, I have a writing question! I am not a writer, primarily; I’m a scientist. But, I’m a scientist writing a journal article, specifically a journal article that has been hanging over my head for many years now. I’ve reached a point where I feel completely burnt out, almost pathologically unable to make progress on the manuscript. The data and results are strong and important, and I recognize that it’s a “story” that needs to be told, and that I’m the only one who can tell it (not to mention that I have several collaborators counting on me to get this done!).

So, my question is, have you ever had a story that you felt, for one reason or another, that you really should tell or needed to tell, but that was a horrific struggle to actualize on the page? Do you have any advice for how to make myself write when I’m completely demoralized and weary with what I’m writing, but unfortunately am nearly contractually unable to simply throw it in the trash and start on something else?

Thank you so much for any advice you can give (or even just a word of encouragement!!), and for your continued engagement with the writing and fandom communities! 

Sometimes you can do it by getting out of your own way. Sometimes you can do it by remembering or finding out once again what do you like about the project on the story to begin with.

I have frequently found when faced with a story that had died or that I had lost interest in or that I thought was awful, that if I read it aloud to another person they get interested and I start getting interested and often finish wanting to carry on to find out what happens next and to move forward. Dead projects have come back to life like this.

But it's also worth remembering that there are bad days and there are good days and there are projects that even if the days are awful and the whole thing feels terrible, the only way you will get to the good days is by pushing forward. The good days are there and waiting for you -- you just have to keep going to reach them.

[eliza-and-her-monsters]

the tortured poets department

a story told in multiple parts

vi x reader

Summary: As Caitlyn Kiramman’s younger sister, you already were expected to uphold certain ‘values’ persay. Your big sister definitely left big shoes to fill as one of the best criminology majors Oxford had. Whenever you had to take a couple years off after high school for mental health reasons they were already disappointed. Whenever you said you wanted to major in creative writing and literature with a minor in music they were more disappointed and quite nearly withdrew your college fund. But they have no idea that after the people you’re about to meet this year that just might be the least of their problems.

Contains: college au, dark/light academia, writer reader, singer reader, neurodivergent/autistic reader (i’m autistic so i’m writing from my own experiences), sporty vi, hockey player vi, big sister caitlyn, best friend ellie williams, roommate ellie williams, will contain other familiar characters you know and love as well as some potential ocs. no use of y/n, reader does have a name because it’s just easier for me to write that way 🖤

A/N: EEEEK for some reason I’m beyond nervous to post this. I know I did NOT need another wip but I had such a huge itch to finally get started on this idk what possessed me! First things first I DO want to say that I know the trope of hockey player vi and college aus are popular within the vi fanfic community and just want to make it so abundantly clear that I’m not trying to copy anybody and am going to aim to make this as different as possible.

Secondly, the idea of a tag list seems very overwhelming for me so the best way to keep up with parts will probably be to follow me! Also not giving myself a specific updating schedule since I AM working on so much right now and I want my long form stories on wattpad I currently have to take first priority so- it might take a while for me to post! Just bare with me!

Thirdly, I have never been to Oxford and probably will never go to Oxford (in fact I’m not even from the UK so whoops) so all of what is portrayed on here will be from what I’ve read from other english university media and research. So if there are errors I apologize! 🖤

ANYWAYS, enough rambling. Hopefully this has left you excited or at least morbidly curious and I can get part 1 up soon 🖤

Part Masterlist

Moodboards

Part I: You’re on Your Own, Kid

Part II: The Black Dog

Bonus Chapter: Gold Rush

Part III: Bad Blood

Part IV: The Bolter

Part V: The Alchemy

Part VI: This is Me Trying

Tag

Can’t believe I didn’t just think of making a tag earlier so you can also follow the tag- #ttpd vi x reader 🖤🥹

Credits: dividers by @saradika-graphics 🖤

[cinnamoodles]

what are ur favorite anthony bridgerton five

hi! i'm assuming this says fics, and i am SO HONOURED that you trust me to recommend my favourite fics to you!

first up… the amazing and fantastic @fayes-fics, one of THE MOST skilled writers alive. she never misses!

some of my personal favs from her are:

➥ a beneficial arrangement [ ⭐️ ]

a marriage pact with a viscount. what could possibly go wrong?

➥ rescue and ruin

anthony rescues something for you… and it will likely lead to your ruin.

➥ the friends+ series

modern AU. series of fics that feature anthony & journalist!reader’s burgeoning relationship.

those are just a few of my favorites, but READ HER ENTIRE MASTERLIST! you will not regret it, promise.

secondly, a series of fics by the wonderfully talented @rubysunnday, and once again, be sure to read all of her masterlist!

➥ take my hand

as much as y/n appreciates anthony’s matchmaking efforts, it’s hard to accept them when he’s the only man she wants. luckily for her, a fall in the lake allows her to voice her feelings in more ways than one

➥ a long, long time

y/n has waited a long, long time for anthony bridgerton to finally decide to get married. but by the time he finally decides to find a wife, y/n has run out of time and anthony is suddenly faced with losing her to someone else.

➥ it’s a bad idea, me and you [ ⭐️ ]

y/n was ready to give her entire heart to anthony bridgerton. only for him to shove her aside in favour for sienna rosso. but, now, sienna is gone and despite what y/n keeps telling herself - anthony truly does own her heart.

now, for the queen of the modern!anthony au, @eleanor-bradstreet! some of my favorites from her are…

➥ gala

you attend a charity gala with your boss who really is too much trouble in a tux.

➥ locked out

when you find yourselves locked out of your house in the middle of the night, anthony has some ideas for how you can kill time.

➥ take me instead [ ⭐️ ]

you and anthony find yourselves in the middle of a bank robbery on an ill-fated day.

next we have @colettebronte, BRIDGERTON SMUT AUNTIE HERSELF WOOO!

(warning, these fics are VERY mature, and include BDSM and other possibly triggering material).

➥ rise and breathe

newly arrived back in london after a long journey across the mediterranean sea, you encounter a pathetically drunk viscount bridgerton the night he is rejected by sienna rosso. after a sobering morning on all counts, you sense that he is indeed lost and in need of a new purpose and direction. through submission and service, he may just find it.

➥ what (who) are you doing on new year’s eve?

a mysterious benefactor invites you to ring in the New Year with them.

➥ kinktober day ten: blindfolded

your tenth evening with your client. day ten for kinktober. I’m going with two prompts tonight, blindfolded and massage.

finally, we have some individual fics that stole my heart.

➥ diamonds and pearls by @multiharlot

diamonds and pearls do not make up for the lack of love in your marriage.

➥ enamoured by @dreamwritesimagines

everything you heard about matters of heart and desire told you the same thing; love could lead to heartbreak at best and disastrous results at worst. yet, you were convinced that everyone was wrong. they had to be, because love was supposed to make everyone happier, no confusion or pain in sight. regardless of how naive it sounded, you were sure that you were ready to fall in love and lose yourself in the infamous bliss. that assumption right there was a terrible mistake, though. you were nowhere near ready.

➥ right person, all the wrong times by @wwinterwitch

you and anthony have been in love with one another from the moment you met, but it seems as though nothing will ever happen between you. after you catch the attention of another gentleman, he realizes perhaps it's time to finally do something about his feelings.

➥ right in front of me by @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

the only way he could rationally find a suitable wife was by removing love from the equation all together. courtship was game of jumping through hoops he really did not want to play, and he was a viscount. surely there would be a father with a more than suitable daughter he could simply ask for your hand and get it. or the one where your arranged marriage with anthony bridgerton isn’t a loving marriage… until it is.

➥ melt away by @healmydesires

the night you give your love and body to your husband.

➥ sham, pride, and illicit affairs by @peeterparkr

or, the story of how you rejected his proposal because you once loved him.

➥ enchanted by @imthebadguyyy

you and anthony don’t need words to converse.

➥ better man by @midnightfictionlibrary

anthony must rectify his rakish ways and wed, but he has a lot to think over if he doesn’t want to lose his dearest friend forever. 

➥ no longer in denial by @iwritefandomimagines

anthony has made no secret of not wanting to marry, despite it being more than clear that he is head over heels in love with you, his “best friend”. benedict decides he is fed up of anthony’s denial, and takes matters into his own hands — by inciting jealousy from his older brother.

➥ the language of flowers by @cinnamoodles (shameless self plug)

you and anthony have been friends for as long as you can remember, but what happens when his world turns upside down? will he open his heart and let the woman silently pining for him in?

AHH ok that was it, and these are the bridgerton fics i love with all of my soul. thank you so much for your ask, it was so nice to see all these wonderful fics again.

xo, lottie !

[blackwidownat2814]

Steal My Thunder (T.Owens)

Pairing: Tyler Owens x female reader, Tyler Owens x shy!reader, Tyler Owens x insecure!reader

Word Count: 462

A/N: Welcome to my first Tyler Owens fic! I was throwing fic ideas around before I even saw the movie. I watched several interviews and other stuff on YouTube and took notes even. Then after seeing it the third time, I started working on this story. I don't anticipate this being a real long story, but I also will be a little slow to update because of work or writer's block or working on a crochet project I really need to finish. What I'm really saying is please be patient with me. Secondly, like in my other works, I'd planned to make this with a plus size!reader in mind, but I decided to go with insecure because I want to try and be a little more inclusive. Also, unless otherwise stated, my readers are always female readers. Lastly, I'm already working on Chapter 1, so keep an eye out for that. However, if you really like this, please let me know and I can tag you in future updates. And as always, I will be crossposting this to AO3. If you see this story anywhere besides AO3 or Tumblr, it's stolen Kthxbye! PS: Thanks to KJ & Jordyn for their help in beta-ing and title/chapter ideas! Love y'all!

Prologue

You were a Lead Meteorologist for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.  You should not be handling school age tour groups.  You were just about DONE with being treated like a secretary.  The rest of them thought that just because Kate was gone that they could go back to treating you like they did before her.

You were quiet, shy, and someone whose love language was acts of service, so you loved to help people out.  The problem was that your co-workers abused that part of you.  They asked to lead the school groups, bring everyone coffee, put together packets for meetings, etc.  Complete nonsense…and you were done.

It was then, as you mentally typed up your resignation, that you received a serendipitous call from Kate herself.

“I believe the sayin’ is ‘No man left behind’.”

“You’re not an US Army Ranger, B.”

“Yeah, well…”  You trailed off, not wanting to burden your friend with your issues.  Kate always told you that it was okay to talk to her when you needed someone, but you were stubborn.  You were very much of the ‘friends aren’t therapists’ mindset.

“Talk to me B.”

“I’m happy for you, ya know?  You’re back to doing’ something I know you loved.  I can see it in your eyes with each video or stream I watch.”

“Okay, keep your secrets…and thank you.  I am happy.”

“So…what can I do for ya?  Why are you botherin’ me on my lunch hour?”

“Damn!  Sorry about that B.”

“You know I don’t actually care.  Tell me what’s up.”

“I’m callin’ with a job off-”

“I’ll take it.”

“Woah, I haven’t even said what it-”

“I don’t care.  Ever since you left, and because I’m a huge push over, everyone’s been walking all over me.  You know I had to do three tours today?”

“We’ve talked about this.”

“I know Kate.  Just…what’s the job anyway?”  Your friend was silent for a moment, before you heard her exhale.

“It’s storm data analysis really.”

“Elaborate.”

“We’re trying to really get down to the nitty gritty with the data from the EF-5 we got to dissipate last season and see where to improve, how to catalog it in our info database, etc.”

“I’m in”, you said.  “Y’all won’t treat me like some secretary, I’ll be close to home again, and I’ll get to spend all my time with you.”

“We most definitely will not treat you like some secretary.  We’re equal opportunity storm chasers out here.”

You tossed your empty sandwich bag into the trash and pulled up Word to start drafting your resignation letter.

“Say, what are the benefits as a Tornado Wrangler?”  Before Kate could reply, you heard Boonie baby! Woo! in the background.

With that enthusiasm, what could possibly go wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging: @buckysdollforlife @13braincellsonly

[solarenchanting]

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬)

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 ⸻ 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐥

pairing: getō suguru x fem!reader

summary: denial ⸻ the unwillingness to accept something unpleasant is true.

tw/cw: descriptions of a dead body on an autopsy table.

note: third-year!suguru. suguru and reader were in an established relationship. haibara yū’s is already dead as in canon (BUT don't ask me about the tl in this). extremely vague mentions of the star plasma vessel mission. small satosugu moment. ooc!suguru (?).

a/n: firstly, it's officially three months since i posted my first getō suguru fic ( it'll pass ) and debuted as a fic writer (a milestone, i fear). but i do dedicate this mini fic series to myself 😅. secondly, i apologise for any inconsistencies, spelling or grammatical errors in this fic. as well as any misrepresentations of the characters involved (please do not perceive me 🥲 this is just my interpretation and exploration outside of the canon material). thirdly, i know the last few parts doesn't focus on the feeling of denial. and lastly, as always, much love from me to you <3

(fun fact: it's 01:54 am and i wrote this while listening to “speak softly, love” by david davidson)

edit: re-read this, and i realised that i used the word “pale” — please know that it has nothing to do with the readerʼs skin colour, just for a description for the current state the readerʼs body is in (also, i'm paranoid and don't want any misunderstandings 🥲)

the coldness pierced through suguru’s skin, seeping through the narrow pathways of his veins—freezing his blood. the fine, black hairs of his body rose to life, standing upright and sturdy. trails of never-ending goosebumps formed over and over. icy chills travelled down his spine, but his body remained rigid.

the soles of his feet were stuck onto the marble floor. he lost all mobility. a simple, thoughtless action couldn’t be comprehended in his mind. he couldn’t place one foot forward, couldn’t take a step back. yet, his legs trembled, nipped at by the cold air. almost as if they were begging, itching, to make a move—to walk.

his arms lay by his sides with his hands trembling. his fingers quivered and flexed, disturbing the dust particles that danced and circled in the air. it was reflexive—his senses heightened to recoil at any sensation grazing his skin.

his lips were parted, chapped and dry, yet nothing came out of him. words were caught in his throat, lodged and cemented. whatever he wanted to say, wished he could say, had transformed itself into the lump that was too stubborn to be swallowed down—a cruel manifestation of a betrayal of his body.

for his mind… his mind had not caught up to him—to it—just yet.

this was nothing but a fictitious, distorted scene. a tableau of a nightmare, one that he couldn’t wake up from for some reason. a sick and twisted fantasy that his subconscious decided to manipulate him—holding him by the control brace with no intention of letting go. the strings attached to his limbs were still, forcing him to stand there.

his eyes, once a bright violet filled with life, had become dull and dim ever since that grim mission—ever since witnessing the hideous evils of his world.

now, however, they were dark—staring at the sight before him.

you.

eyes closed, lashes brushing your cheeks like whispers of a memory. your lips were pursed, unmoving—silent forever. and the skin of your face, rigid and pale, and mottled with purplish-red blotches where gravity had taken its toll, forever replacing the warmth.

your body lay still on the cold and unfeeling stainless steel on the autopsy table, bathed under the harsh fluorescent lighting. your arms rested limply by your side, as if frozen in mid-reach. and your chest, once rising and falling, was unnervingly still.

the chill of the morgue hung heavy in the air, sharp and suffocating.

suguru’s mind screamed, distorted voices ricocheting through the silence of his paralysis, trying to slice through the fragile walls of denial—but he wasn’t listening. he refused to. it was all poisonous lies, trying drag him deeper into the black hole that had already swallowed him down.

flashes of memories erupted behind his tired eyes—vivid and haunting—each one a desperate attempt to rewrite the truth, to convince him that this wasn’t real. there was no way that you, of all people, you—

no—it can’t be.

it shouldn’t be. it couldn’t be. it wasn’t supposed to be—

but how?

how did he—how did you end up like this?

you—you were just with him earlier this morning. standing in front of his dorm door, staring at him with those beautiful eyes—the ones he could lose himself in forever while you’d ramble on about anything and everything. the ones he hated to see narrow in anger at him, or worse, brim with unshed tears—eyes that shouldn’t be closed.

and—and you were smiling. yes, you were smiling at him! you standing right there—in front of him—at his dorm room. why again? oh, that’s right! you wanted to check up on him before you left for your mission. the higher-ups sent you out.

that’s it. that’s what happened.

and he kissed you. god, he kissed you. he cupped your cheeks—the home of countless soft pecks his lips had peppered with. a sanctuary for tender caresses with the back of his finger while he admired you. he could still feel the warmth of your flesh, the gentle press of his thumbs against them.

your lips were soft—always curved into a smile. a smile that melted his heart, one that made it swell with pride when he knew he was the reason behind it. lips that clenched his heart whenever they fell and twisted into a frown. lips that made him ache whenever the lower one wobbled, with sharp, ragged hiccups escaping them like broken pleas.

but now—now, he’d rather have you here, standing in front of him. even if the sight hurt him, even if you were sobbing and hiccuping. he’d take your narrowed eyes filled with anger—hell, resentment even.

but not—not whatever this was.

you didn’t belong here—not in this cold, sterile place that reeked of antiseptic and death.

he felt the same helplessness he’d felt before—the sound of their clapping echoing in the back of his mind. a painful memory that refused to fade—the same weight pressing on his chest, his ribs caving in and crushing the air from his lungs.

only this time, it worse.

this time, it was you.

you had become another body he’d have to run past in this endless marathon—where countless sorcerers, friends and allies, lay scattered and bloodied along the track behind him. their deaths—your death—in vain. meanwhile, he was running out of breath, chasing a finishing line that kept moving, desperately trying to fulfill the duty of a jujutsu sorcerer.

and for whom?

a rustling noise cut through his thoughts. in that moment, he remembered, he wasn’t alone. his sullen eyes trailed up, fixing on the figure standing in the morgue with him.

satoru.

he was standing on the opposite side of the autopsy table. his fingers delicately curling along the edge of the thin, white blanket. with gentle movements, he pulled it over your body—covering you completely, save for your feet sticking out at the bottom—before returning his hands to his side.

fate was fickle, placing them in this position.

for they had been here before—seen each other like this already.

satoru’s expression was unreadable, devoid of any emotion. his gaze remained fixed on the blanket, as if he was staring at your face through it.

when he lift his head, suguru’s breath hitched, coming in a short, shallow gasp as he saw those dull and gloomy blue eyes staring back at him once more.

satoru didn’t say anything this time, because he didn’t need to.

despite himself, in the back of his mind, suguru knew.

he knew he was late.

NEXT

[chuluoyi]

notice

hii hii hello everyonee !!! 🥹

omg first of all, i’m so sorry for suddenly disappearing out of nowhere—my workload got so heavy since last month and the time for annual performance review is nearing so i’m pouring all my energy to work as of late😭 i really thought i’ll be gone just for a week or two but here we are, more than a month later🥲

and secondly, thank you so much for all the love during the time i’ve been away! :’) i haven’t been opening tumblr so when i did just now i’m overwhelmed with the notifs and lovely asks—i didn’t expect that you all are still hanging around my promptly deserted blog :’) i’m touched, really

a lot happened in the month i’ve been away aside from my snowballing work, of course🥹 (if you remember my post regarding a date i was going to—yeah, i’ve been meeting him regularly! uhmm, we’re certainly more than friends but not quite there yet🙂‍↕️) but along with the good things, many “lows” happened too—burnt out, fatigue, doubt of myself, some crying here and there, and of course, writer’s block too, and i know many of you want more fics but i wasn’t in the state of mind in which i can write :’) even until now, i don’t think i can write anything of substance anytime soon…

but still, thank you for still giving me a space here🥹 i’m grateful for 11k of you who still follow me here even when i’m away and still read or even reread my silly stories and ramblings. i can’t promise you all that i’ll be as active as before, but i’ll try to pop up every now and then—and maybe even write a little thing or two

there are a lot of asks and i’m sorry that i can’t answer you one by one :’) thank you for asking if i’m fine—i am! i’m still hanging in there!🥹 and really, thank you for waiting for me, for wishing me well and missing me 🤍 your kindness reached me and i’m grateful for all of you!

and oh, lastly, to those who sent hate asks or comments regarding how i write, all i can say is this: i’ve blocked you. go get a life and write your own fics. i won’t entertain you! 👋🏻

[allieebobo]

Do you have any if recommendation?

Ooh! I have really, really bad memory(!!) but these are current faves that I have played/replayed recently that I can think of. A lot of the authors are also THE BEST HUMAN BEINGS EVER. So, double recommendation.

I probably missed a bunch out, so take this as a non-exhaustive list! In no particular order:

(Edit: Added some descriptions but yeah I got a little unhinged so I'm sorry nothing makes sense or if the quality of the write-up went down over time/did not actually give you any useful info)

WIPs with demos

Citadel, @bouncyballcitadel (I think of all the IFs on this list, this one makes me sweat the most. And I've said it once and I'll say it again: the dialogue is so snappy and well-written, and characters are SO DAMNED LOVEABLE.)

Infamous, @infamous-if (I've been manifesting Band/Musician IFs for the longest time, and then this popped up! I've even played Choice of a Rockstar, that's how desperate I was... Anyway, this is legions better than that. Angsty ex routes are my kryptonite, and Seven is just. Inevitable.)

Defiled Hearts: The Barbarian, @defiledheartsblog (I went into this wanting something juicy and fun/historical—and it's all of those things, but I didn't expect it to be so damned funny, too. The ROs are all impeccable.)

Raiders of the Caravan and Apartment 3-3, @leftski-if (A'ight listen, fantasy slice-of-life is my fave genre, and these are IT. Like, everything I never knew I needed in my life, and SO cozy/wholesome, with a cast of characters that I want to befriend in real life.)

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: An Affair of the Heart @doriana-gray-games (First off, the customization in this game is INSANE, and the branching too. I've replayed a couple of times and the little variations I discover each time just blows my mind. Secondly, it's so funny and written so well. Ngl I'm not a Sherlock fan but that's just testament to how amazing this IF is.)

When Life Gives You Lemons, @when-life-gives-you-lemonssss (Modern slice-of-life with an adorable kid, a bunch of hot ROs, CC. Hill's humor, what can I say?)

Golden @milaswriting (Really interesting world-building, one of the coolest fictional cities I've read in an IF, AND I'm obsessed with the ROs, in particular K de la Renta. Also Mila is such an awesome writer, I'm beyond excited for @beyondthegame.)

A Tale of Crowns @ataleofcrowns (This game is beautiful, polished, and SO exciting. Honestly, it looks like the kind of game created by a whole-ass game studio and would cost $50 to buy, it's that good. I really got swept up by this IF—probably played it all in one go.)

Rougi @rougi-if (Again, another game with scrumptious visuals/UI and also is just so well-crafted. I love the premise too, it's so original and fresh.)

Scout: An Apocalypse Story @anya-dev (Unfortunately this one might be on hiatus but I am/was really, really obsessed.)

Wayfarer @idrellegames (Love the game mechanics of this one, and the visuals. Probably controversial, but I like the D&D / random dice effect. And I also like the fact that it feels like an old-school RPG.)

Chop shop @losergames (The premise is all I needed to be sold, really—I'd always wanted to buy GTA as a kid but my parents were like NO WAY. Anyway, this IF did not disappoint, and let me live all my childhood dreams.)

Edit: AHH! How could I forget, one of my recent faves, Folksaga @folksaga-if (Lush atmospheric writing, super unique premise—norse mythology, plus I'm head over heels for Katla).

Completed IFs

Butterfly Soup 1 and 2 @brianna-lei (these are completed and I will never not promote them. Honestly the most adorable, wholesome, funny sports/coming-of-age IF I've read)

Elsinore: After Hamlet @lapinlunairegames (Insanely cool premise, insanely cool execution)

The Thick Table Tavern @manonamora-if (I love bar/tavern games, and this one actually lets you mix drinks! Instant fave.)

Other HGs/COGs I love: Slammed, Tin Star, Fallen Hero, If it pleases the court, A Player's Heart (these last two are so underrated, though I guess cause it's mainly wlw)