#second one is gonna be the most triggering one just to let yall know

[idkhowtobenormal]

MSS snip-its

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

Stickbug AU

Just so y'all can get an idea of what I'm yapping about, I'm gonna spill everything I have planned for this AU so far on this post. I'll try to update it as I come up with more ideas.

NOTE: SO THIS CAME OUT A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT SO IF YALL WANT TO CONTROL F TO CERTAIN SPOTS HERE ARE THE HEADER NAMES: The Hollows Creation AVA IV Chosen & Dark Anim VS Minecraft Purple KING LETS GO MY FAVORITE KING AVM Season 3 Victim & the Mercenaries After Everything

So this AU takes place around 50 years after the canon events of Bug Fables, and I'll explain as I go along so you won't need to know the events of the game.

Some needed information is that Humans are heavily implied to have disappeared/died, and some species of bugs have gained sapience in the "Day of Awakening," though some species remained feral with a few individuals gaining sapience far after the Day of Awakening.

The Hollows Creation

Alan is still in this AU, and in a way he is still the Hollows "creator." In this AU, he's a creature called a "Deadlander Omega" found in the Giant's Lair/Deadlands. Basic information is that they're colossal bird-like Deadlanders which are so big only their claws and eyes have ever been seen. In game they like to drop other Deadlanders onto the player which triggers a fight. Alan is a more aware Omega. He likes to collect whatever piques his interest, normally anything that shines due to the lack of sunlight in the Lair. However after a while of dropping Deadlanders onto the few passing bugs, he got more curious by bugs.

NOTE: THIS IS DRAWN BY @tatos-stick-pile SHE HAS DONE SO MUCH FOR THIS AU

So what did he do? Sneak out of the Giant's Lair. Used the overgrown weeds to his advantage and would look around. Found out about larva and got fascinated by the fact bugs came from that. So whatever larva he could find he'd take back-- which wasn't often since most people wouldn't just leave their larva/eggs lying around.

Anyway he'd bring them home. The Deadlanders wouldn't register the larva/eggs as bugs or alive so they could just crawl around and munch on the grass until they eventually grew up. Alan started realizing "oh shit grow your own entertainment" when his first little stolen egg grew to a bug, a grasshopper (victim). Alan would basically use a jar to keep Victim from running off, would drop Deadlanders on him to watch the fights even if Victim sucked at fighting.

Now even if Alan doesn't recognize the bugs as living and thinking things, he isn't stupid. He notices how they use the shiny crystals he likes to collect to heal. So when he sees Victim nearly getting killed in one of the fights he puts two and two together and "gives" Victim the crystal. AKA impales him and literally kills Victim. When he notices Victim stops moving, throws him away and tries again.

He finds a hornet larva. Decides to try something different. Bugs use the crystals for health, so as the larva crawls around and eats he crushes up one of his crystals and mixes it into areas they know they like to eat in. Because of the magic in the crystals, whatever sticks in their bodies results in the larva becoming strong, healthy, and extremely powerful sorcerers.

Chosen fights-- both the Deadlanders and Alan-- but can't win. He tries running, but Alan rips off a wing and puts him in the jar. Eventually Alan gets lucky and finds a wasp larva, and unfortunately for Chosen, this one doesn't seem to understand anything other than following Alan. Of course y'all can guess what happens from here: Alan pits the two against eachother, Chosen tells Dark they can team up to fight Alan, and end up doing a lot of damage to him before running. It takes a long while for Alan to rebuild his health before he tries again. This time a lot more careful with a little bumblebee larva (Second). He keeps a very close eye on it to make sure it doesn't hurt him, and an even closer eye to make sure it doesn't get away.

AVA IV

Red's a ladybug, Green's a grasshopper, Blue's a firefly, and Yellow's a caddisfly. While Bugaria takes place in the Giant's Lair (AKA a abandoned human home)'s backyard, the color gang are from the front yard. They each have their own reasons to travel to Bugaria: Yellow has heard about Roach technology and really wants to see how it works for himself, Red wants to join the Explorer's Association and fill out his bestiary along the way, Blue wants to visit the Harvest Festival and give an offering for the goddess of Harvest, Venus' approval, and Green just wants to stick with his friends.

However getting to Bugaria is difficult. While before most people would take the swamp, the only thing that resulted in was a lot of tension and frustration since they couldn't communicate with the Leafbugs living there and would only result in a lot of deaths on both sides. The swamp got closed off, and as a result, left two main paths. The Caravan is the most popular for good reason: it is an extremely long road usually consisting of many bugs, although because the trip normally takes around a month, it is not safe from bandits nor the weather. A lot of injuries tend to happen and many come out malnourished. The other option takes a day. Just follow the path through the Giant's Lair. There won't be many Deadlanders, but if there are, only large enough groups of bugs or explorer teams can go through to ensure safety.

Since they're a group of four impatient, naive, younger bugs, the Color Gang goes through the Deadlands. It isn't that bad actually, until a little bumblebee catches Red's eye, and an glint of Blue catches Yellow's. Each go off path, Red finding a very excited and nervous Second Coming, and Yellow finding a half of the Roach's ancient Key.

And This catches Alan's attention, because that bee and that key are both of his things. They get to see Alan's spooky ass eye, and Second urges them to run, but before they can the Color Gang gets squished by Alan's claw and Second and the key get picked up. Second isn't happy, stings Alan right in the eye, and gets dropped right next to his friends. He tries helping them up so they can leave, but they're still struggling. He takes too long and Second and his friends get a jar slammed over them.

Alan keeps watch of them, now mostly curious because that's a LOT of bugs in one jar. He's expecting them to fight or do something, but instead... they just sit together. They just chat and sit against the glass, and what really shocks Alan is when they pull out food and start sharing it. I think this is the moment it clicks for Alan that there's something more to them. Alan leaves, and when he comes back he brings back two things. A good pile of food for them, and one of his crystals. He places them on the ground and lifts the jar before perching to see what they do. They're too injured to leave even with the crystal's healing, but Alan is just fascinated with this new discovery. That they're complicated, that they think. For as long as they stay in the Deadlands, which is only a few days, he tries making it as comfortable as possible to see what they like. Tries modeling after what he's seen other bugs do and live in.

They leave of course, taking Second and the key half with them. Alan doesn't like it, but he lets them. Now he's curious on if they'll come back, and now just has a lot to think about now that he's realized they can think and feel.

Chosen & Dark

After everything with Alan, the only thing Dark and Chosen knew was the other, so they clung. Dark itched for a fight, and Chosen was more curious about the outside world. Eventually this lead to the two becoming an explorer team.

It wasn't bad at first, but Dark of course gravitated to the shadier areas. Dark THRIVED in bounties and fights, meanwhile Chosen started second guessing whether or not he liked being an explorer. Every time they had to leave a kingdom or village, he'd always just felt disappointed. But Dark wanted to keep going, so he followed.

Eventually they started to get a reputation. They would do any quest, no matter the morals, and they wouldn't sell you out. They would get worse and worse clients, and were quickly teetering on the line of hitmen, and Chosen eventually had enough. He didn't see the point in it anymore, he liked the slow moments. Dark meanwhile thrived in a fight, because it was the only thing hes ever known.

This led to a fight between them. A bad one. Dark had been experimenting with Roach crystals to boost his own abilities, and somehow, Chosen ended up accidentally dragging Second and the Color Gang into it. There was a lot of collateral damage and Dark showed off how he was not above killing people, by targeting Second's friends. They died, and that mixture of sheer rage and grief was what triggered Second's skill in magic. Y'all know how this goes, Second beats the shit out of Dark Lord, revives his friends, but before he can land the killing blow, Chosen stops him.

Chosen doesn't want Dark to die, but he can't be with him anymore. So he rats on Dark. Gets him thrown in Rubber Prison, and Dark takes this as a betrayal. They depend on each other, and Chosen wouldn't even defend him and never visited him. Chosen regrets this decision every day and before he can get arrested too, he hides and is labeled as missing.

Anim VS Minecraft

This stumped me at first because how the hell do you mix bug fables and Minecraft but NO WORRIES I FOUND A WAY

After the Deadlands, first thing Color Gang does is sign up for the Explorer's Association. Unfortunately there can't be teams of 5, so they split into two teams: Blue and Yellow form Team Sunset, and Second, Red, and Green form Team Second. They do quests for a while, Yellow spends a lot of time focusing on the key half, and eventually they team up for a pretty important quest!

Not sure what this quest would be exactly, but basically they get lured into a cave and when they get into it Red starts acting weird. And then he starts attacking them and going for the key and yep if you've realized it WE FOUND A WAY TO ADD HEROBRINE FUCK YOU MINECRAFT CREEPYPASTA BUGSONA

Art once again by @tatos-stick-pile

Herobrine is a recently awakened Golden Orb Weaver spider who uses his silk to puppet Red around. This silk is SHARP too. He tries going for the key because he's heard of the artifact and its power and he really wants it to expand his territory. He gets his ass kicked when they figure out whats going on and he escapes.

Afterwards Yellow decides to be more secretive about the key half. They don't figure this out for a while though, but the entire reason Herobrine was expanding his territory is because he looks after lesser bugs ESPECIALLY ones that have recently awakened. He just hates regular bugs.

Purple

And I lied to start with Purple I have to start with an Explorer Team y'all should be familiar with-- unless youre coming from the bug fables fandom and to that i say hello how do you like the shitstorm so far. Anyway one Explorer Team, Team Orchid. It consists of an orchid mantis named Orchid and another mantis named Navy.

Orchid is an explorer for the sightseeing and to help people. Navy doesn't exactly care about that, he's mostly around to make sure she doesn't get herself killed. Eventually he gets an idea that they can get a pet for some extra defense. Orchid LOVES the idea, and so Navy drags her to the Forsaken Lands to find something strong enough.

Orchid falls in love with a mothfly and won't settle for anything else. That mothfly is Purple, a recently awakened mothfly who is extremely confused because he's only been around feral mothflies and its his instinct to stick with them. Anyway y'all know how this goes, Navy "trains" (aka beats) Purple, who can't fight back and goes to Orchid for comfort. Purple causes a massive rift in their relationship and its not even their fault. Orchid wanted a pet to dote on and Navy wanted something to train. But Orchid isn't stupid-- even if Purple is a mothfly and can't talk she starts recognizing he's awakened. He's a child. She starts treating him as such despite how much Navy HATES it and Purple of course starts seeing them as their parents and really looks up to them.

And one day Navy is sick of it. Takes Purple by the arm and drags him back to the Forsaken Lands and far from Orchid. Purple is nervous but still trusts him, thinks its for training. Navy drags him all the way to the abandoned Ant Settlement and tells him to stay there. To prove his training he needs to protect that settlement until he comes back to get them. Purple of course is "okay ❤️ yay❤️."

He doesn't come back. Neither does Purple. But Purple sticks to the settlement and protects it-- getting a little overly defensive of it. Overtime more mothflies are drawn to the area and of course they form little hivemind clusters and whoops! False Monarch 2. But since Purple is awakened and actually intelligent he has a lot more control over the mothfly clusters-- or False Citizens-- and they act more as an extension of him. Purple forms his own little cluster too-- and hates being separated from it and DESPISES being acknowledged as "just a mothfly" so he dresses with a mask and cloak to be a better bug. He gets a bit of a superiority complex as well due to just being surrounded by nothing but feral bugs that he can control.

Anyway the sudden re-population of this abandoned settlement with False Citizens does not go unnoticed. Especially because whenever one wanders close, Purple tends to have a citizen stalk and lurk around the edge until it creeps the bug out enough for them to leave. So a bounty is made once again for the False Monarch.

Blue and Green see it. They think it would be SO fun to lean into their competitive sides and see if whoever got the killing blow on the bounty would finally prove their team as better. So they go to the settlement, see the citizens staring and stalking them and ignore it. They aren't attacking them, after all. They're just being creepy.

They end up finding Purple who is NOT happy and is immediately defensive. But he's not attacking them. He's just kinda throwing a fit and making himself look bigger. Which is weird because bounties are usually extremely dangerous and hostile, but this one is just... throwing a fit. They end up just nearly dodging a fight when some of the citizens start grabbing Green and Blue to throw them out and Blue blurts out they don't want to fight. Turns out Purple does understand Bugnish, but can't speak it.

Great! So they don't have to kill the pretty chill bounty. But others don't know that, and they need to bring back proof they killed Purple to get the bounty taken down. They bring it up to Purple and after vague translations, they make a deal. Purple's been having trouble with a strong enemy near the settlement, so he gives them their mask and helps them defeat the enemy.

And its a big fucking spider, but thankfully they have Purple's range to help in the fight, and while its going smooth at first-- Purple ends up bailing. He's spent too long away from the settlement and figures since Blue and Green are strong enough that they'll be fine. They aren't. Because they needed Purple's range. Purple almost ends up getting them killed, the only reason they survived is because their friends realized they were gone for a long time and come just in time.

Green and Blue afterwards take the mask and leave. They're pissed at Purple but they can confront him another time, they mostly just want to be away from him at the moment.

KING LETS GO MY FAVORITE KING

Time for King! Y'all know King's deal. He has a child he loves with all his heart. In this AU he is a Violin Mantis and his little Goldie is a mantis nymph. King personally isn't an explorer, but Gold REALLY wants to be once and he always finds it difficult to say no to Gold.

Anyway Gold hears wind of a tourist thing. They're doing this mini-tour of the Deadlands in a 100% totally nothing will ever go wrong encased area. Its gonna focus on theories on the Deadlands and what Gold is more interested in-- how Explorers made it safer and how they traverse it.

King doesn't like it. Its called the Deadlands for a reason. But Gold really wants to and is begging him and is doing all his chores and being the most perfect little nymph so he can go. And they claim its safe. King finally caves and takes Gold, and y'all can guess what happens. Deadlander breaks through and kills his son right in front of him before the Explorer escorts can kill it.

So like any regular parent experiencing grief King vows to fucking blow up the Deadlands and everything in it. Not like anybody cares about that fucking place and is widely considered a No Man's Land. He ends up getting his hands on the other half to the Key and is obsessed with finding the other half.

AVM Season 3

While going towards the Termite Kingdom to hopefully find some clues on where the other key half is, King gets lost along the way and finds the abandoned Ant Settlement. False citizens are of course not happy and watch him, but he ignores them. He might as well search the place while he's here. He ends up finding Purple, whose not happy and already a little on edge because Blue and Green haven't come back despite promising they will.

King notices the bounty paper Green and Blue drop and promptly manipulates Purple. Tells them that they probably won't be coming back. But I imagine Green and Blue were yapping to Purple, mentioning the key half because both dont take it that seriously, and Purple sees King's key half and mentions it through a drawing.

King turns up the manipulation to 100. convinces Purple to take his citizens with them (wants to use them as a deadlander bait). If they get the key they'll be strong enough for their village. He just has to get the key from his friends and bring it to King.

Very cute doodle once again from @tatos-stick-pile

Purple does. A while after he's ditched the village to be with King, they run into Color Gang again. They're chatting and having fun and eventually Purple just... dissapears along with the key. Y'all should know what happens, the chase happens, Purple brings the key to King, he combines them and gets really strong and starts destroying shit. Big fight starts up, King focuses on superpowered Second, the color gang go after Purple, who isn't really that strong. He tries getting help from King, but King ignores him. Leaves him for dead.

This fucks up Purple. Because King introduced that fear and realization of abandonment in Purple. And Purple not only realizes how many mistakes he's made, but also realizes he's in fact a lesser bug. That's why nobody wants him. And people don't hesitate to kill lesser bugs when they're in their way. Purple gets both super emotional and terrified for his life, and is forced to abandon his beloved cloak and mask to make a run for it. Green pursues him, everything else happens.

Not sure how everyone splitting up would work so far, but Red somehow gets Herobrine and some of the bugs he watches involved in the fight. Green convinces Purple to go after King, and the bigger fight starts. King uses the Key to attack anyone and hes close enough to his goal hes gotten a lot more brutal. Will just hold whoevers nearest and shoot them point blank with it. Y'all know that scene. The scene where King is nearly killing Purple and goes through that flashback and is slapped in the face with the realization he sees Purple as his own son. That still happens, King gives up, helps Purple and Purple still sticks to him.

Victim & the Mercenaries

Shortly after being discarded by Alan, a cordyceps fungus found and started growing in the grasshopper's body. He is EXTREMELY lucky, because the tiniest crumbs of magic crystal left in his body was just enough magic to balance out the fungus sticking to him and passing on its memory without completely overloading it and turning him into a zombie. But its not perfect, and it still shows in the mini holes in his body. He also woke up fucking PISSED enough to turn him into a Locust

I'm gonna keep this section extremely vague since we still don't know what happened to Victim in AvA canon. Just know he built a massive "charity" corporation in the Termite Kingdom that claims its going to find a way to turn the Deadlands useful. AKA he wants an excuse to have enough money to research a way into killing Alan.

This involves hiring explorer teams, leading him to the Mercenaries: Hazard, Ballista, Primal, and Agent. They are explorers who work in the shadier areas of the Association and are EXTREMELY difficult to hire as they only accept high rewards up-front.

Some concepts for Victim and Agent since I haven't settled on a design for them...

Chosen and Dark catch Victim's eye, since they're rumored to have attacked an Omega and lived. However since Chosen is missing, Victim and the Mercenaries stop by Rubber Prison to visit Dark. Now Dark and the Mercenaries were very well known in the same area, so they know each other. Doesn't mean Dark likes them.

They convince Dark to help them with the promise of his bands back and a dead Omega. Dark thinks Chosen would absolutely love a dead Omega, and so he doesn't hesitate.

Shit happens. Chosen and Second get captured by the mercenaries and Chosen is PISSED at Dark despite all the regret. They're both mad at each other but Dark's doesn't last long when Victim starts torturing Chosen for information. He's mad at Chosen but he doesn't want that.

He blows up at Victim a little at it, so to get Dark to listen, Victim rips off a good chunk of Chosen's remaining wing. That makes Dark stand down, and now Dark doesn't know what to do. Chosen feels too guilty about everything to say anything, and Dark is too prideful to apologize. More shit happens-- Victim has the gem of Hoaxe's crown. Long story short it can brainwash Hornets, which Victim starts using when Chosen keeps refusing. That pushes Dark more off of Victim but he can't do anything lest Victim directs it all back on Chosen tenfold.

More vague shit. Mr alan becker i need the next part of episode six soon please. Anyway big fight in the Deadlands. Everyone's in there and Victim wants Alan DEAD. But Victim is getting progressively more and more pissed off because despite being attacked Alan is being as gentle as he can. He's going the extra mile to make sure he doesn't kill them. Anyway Dark ends up snapping Chosen's antennae to break him out of the brainwashing and Victim gets cooked.

Chosen decides to not murder Victim-- mostly because clearly that's not permanent and its too good for him. Victim is extremely upset about this because the fact nobody is killing him and just being weirdly merciful and the fact hes lost all control has sent him into a breakdown. Its challenging all the rules hes lived by and how he thought the world worked. Hes screaming and shouting at them.

Which attracts the attention of another Omega. Now the thing about Omegas is because they're pretty fragile due to being mostly bones, it means they need to build armor to survive. And they're territorial. Usually if an Omega picks a fight the one with the better armor survives.

Once again-- art provided by @tatos-stick-pile THEY ARE COOKING

And to protect the bug he KNOWS he hurt and was alive-- Alan attacks the other Omega despite already being extremely injured and losing most his armor. The others dont have a choice but to hide out of sight, and eventually the other Omega wins and kills Alan. Tries looking around for the interesting thing that was shouting but finds nothing and fucks off along with a few undamaged parts of Alan's armor.

Everyone except for Second and the Color Gang decide to take their leave. I imagine throughout the story theres a lot of moments where Alan works on making it up to Second and just truely shows he cares and is regretful. So Second tries reviving him, but the problem is that Alan is just... fuckin' massive. Even when they're dead or asleep they're so big their bodies get mistaken for terrain.

It doesn't work at first. Until Yellow finds the gem Victim left behind that he used to control Chosen, and he learned that this can boost magic. He gives it to Second and he completely exhausts himself and they revive Alan. Yipee!! Everyone is saved happy ending go home its over

After Everything

Chalk my liar count to 2 y'all

Purple lives with King, and King has officially adopted him. They still have their own issues they're working towards, but they're slowly getting there together.

Dark and Chosen don't know what to do at first. Chosen wants a chill and peaceful life, but Dark directly contrasts that. He's much more well known and hated than Chosen. Just by being with him, he ruins Chosen's happiness, but he just wants to stay with him. Chosen wants to stay with Dark as well. Thankfully, one of the mercenaries pops up. They're pissed at first, but all they do is mention a town.

Looking into it, after the attempted takeover half a century ago, the bandit leader Astotheles got inspired by the celebration. He wanted a home, a nation for his people, so he left Bugaria because it obviously wasn't gonna happen there. Outside the nation's borders, he established his own village. Where bugs who are abandoned or discarded can come to start anew.

Chosen and Dark decide to move to there, leaving behind and finally moving on from everything that happened to them.

Victim on the other hand went missing. He took that loss HARD. Agent thinks he has an idea on where he went, but needs extra help, so he puts up a request. He's not bringing the other mercs because they don't know about the cordyceps thing and Victim prefers to keep it hidden.

Color Gang ends up taking it up. They are low on berries and its the only request on the board. Nobody is happy about this. Agent makes sure to go with them, and he leads them all to Snakemouth Den. In the den there's a lot of spores and magic in the air, and it gets worse the deeper you go in because in that cave is an ancient Roach laboratory where experimented on cordyceps and magic in an attempt to recreate the immortality of the Everlasting Sapling (that thing is long dead it doesnt matter).

Anyway Victim went here for a power boost. Thinks he just needs to try again and he'll have more control and he'll win. Now he aint thinkin' clearly because the magic that is so goddamn potent in this cave is messin with the fungus. And y'all remember what i said?

"He is EXTREMELY lucky, because the tiniest crumbs of magic crystal left in his body was just enough magic to balance out the fungus sticking to him and passing on its memory without completely overloading it and turning him into a zombie."

Yeah. Ends up shanking himself with the crystals to try and force more magic in him and it makes the fungus go stupid crazy and completely overgrow out and through his exoskeleton and whoops! say goodbye to your sentience. Control freak loses everything even the control over himself. Fun little boss fight I also imagine he has a poison thing going on.

Anyway they end up knocking him down and restraining him, Agent rips out all the crystals. Victim isn't dead yet but he's in awful shape, and congrats you earned Second's pity. Second heals him and Agent pays them a shit ton for that and brings Victim home to help him recover.

Anyway thats it for the AU so far holy god that was so much longer than I expected if you made it here we should go on a date to texas roadhouse together

[ashes-writing-corner]

Hey yall I'm back with the most recent update of Ghosts that We Knew! I have a feeling yall are really gonna like this one, but I won't spoil anything!

Trigger warnings for: death mention, near death experience, surgery mention, talk of organ transplant, and general angst from Simon!

Taglist: @stargatenovus

Ghosts that We Knew

Part 6- Nightmares, Jokes, and Revelations

Tubes. 

Wires. 

Sirens. 

Scalpels. 

These things and more haunted your dreams at times. For the last almost two years, your transplant and the news of your partner's death haunted you. Life had really given you a bad hand that year. Your partner was killed in action, and only a few months later you needed a transplant. 

You woke in a cold, heavy panic. The heart inside you beat hard, making your chest ache. You sat up, pushing the blankets down, which made you look at the top of the gnarled scar on your chest. It served as a reminder: someone had to die in order for you to live. 

You closed your eyes tightly and got up, swinging your legs over the edge of your bed with a deep sigh. You tried to calm it, the heart, but nothing seemed to work. You took a breath, held it, then slowly let it out as you started a list. 

"Aquarius…" you started, taking another breath. 

Hold. 

Release. 

"Aries…" you repeated the process, "cancer…Capricorn…Gemini…"

A few more breaths. "Leo…libra…taurus…"

Ghost watched you from the doorway, curious as to what you were doing. He was in full body mode at this point, sensing something was wrong. He figured out you were, attempting at least, to list the horoscopes in alphabetical order between deep breaths. 

"You forgot Sagittarius, love" his voice sounded so clear that you jumped up, turning to face him. 

This was only the second time you had seen him like this, the second time you had heard his voice. The heart inside you leapt at the sight and sound, but you didn't feel afraid. You knew Ghost would never hurt you, never ever. But still…

That odd Familiar feeling hit the back of your mind. You tried to shrug it off, thinking "yes I know him, he's the ghost that haunts my apartment". 

You stood and just looked in the large mirror on your dresser. You watched him come in from the doorway. You closed your eyes tightly as you heard the lamp on your nightstand click and turn on. 

"I forgot Pisces too…fuck…". 

"Hey, it's alright. You're okay-". 

"No I'm not" you cut him off, hardly caring in the moment if it was rude or not. 

Behind his mask, Ghost frowned. He grew worried, a part of him knowing the root of the problem, but he suppressed it. 

"Talk to me" he told you, sitting on the end of your bed.

You stayed quiet, hesitant to let anything out. Sure there were times when talking to him felt better than therapy but at the same time…there were things you wanted to say, but couldn't. 

"Love…I can't fix it if I don't-"

"This isn't something you can fix. No one can fix this" you sounded so damn defeated, much like he did in his last days. 

His frown deepened. "I can still try. Please talk to me, sweetheart". 

You hesitated still. For someone so imposing and intimidating, his voice was surprisingly soft and tender. It was a tad gruff, but also echoed in your ears not too unpleasantly. It reminded you just a little of your partner, whose picture was now in a new ebony frame on your dresser. 

"People have been telling me that I should be thankful to feel alive" you started, not looking at him, "but they don't get it. To lose your heart, even to something not your fault, like a disease or sickness like I had, it feels like I've lost what made me who I am…". 

You had talked about it in therapy before but saying it to Ghost felt different. It felt even more raw, more real. Your grip on your dresser tightened, your knuckles hurting. You ignored it. Behind you, Ghost stood from the bed to his full height, coming to the left side of your back. 

"I lost what made me special. I lost what my partner loved most about me…and everyone acts like it's nothing" you couldn't bring yourself to look at him, even if it was just in the mirror. 

"That's not true" Ghost told you, a cold hand hovering over yours, "may i?" He asked. 

You just nodded, and he took your hand as best he could. It felt like ice, yet…like a mist on your skin. He continued. 

"You still have it, love. What your partner loved about you, I mean. Believe me, there's a lot to love. You '' he hesitated a moment, hoping he wasn't crossing any lines, "you're a wonderful mother, a good friend, and an excellent baker. You're kind, generous, you care about people and you bring out the best in them. You see beauty and worth where a lot of folks don't. And even if it's not, you make it that way. And that's such a rare thing, love. Everything you want, from your own place to your little Cafe bakery thing…it should be yours. And if I could…I'd have given it all to you". 

"I wouldn't take it. I need to earn that" you retorted. 

"Love, you survived a debilitating illness that would've killed you without a donor, kept strong when you lost your partner, and survived moving to this hellhole. You deserve the world".

You went quiet for a moment. "It just doesn't…always feel like me. Sometimes, Ghost, I just…I don't want to be around anymore". 

You felt a tightening in your hand. 

"I never wanna hear you say that again" he replied with a growl in his tone. 

"But it's true! And most of the time I feel fine! I feel okay! But sometimes…it's just hard, you know?". 

He was quiet again, only slightly loosening his grip on you. 

"Sweetheart…look at me" he told you. 

You shook your head. You didn't want to face him. You didn't want him to see you like this. You weren't weak for feeling like this, you knew but…you had to hold everything together for so long. You couldn't break down, not like this. 

His cold hands went up both your arms, stopping at your shoulders. Your brain went foggy a little as you released the dresser and let him move you so you could face him. His gaze was intense, with a hint of sadness. He understood. Ghost took your hands and gently guided you back to bed, not even having to say anything. 

In that moment, he wasn't the ghost haunting your house. In his eyes, he wasn't Ghost. He was Simon, a man who once, a couple years ago, felt the same way as you did. Those feelings had consumed him and…

Simon shuddered internally. 

He has been a fool. A damn fool for doing what he had done…

Gently, he rested you against him, as best he could. His cold was an odd comfort as he stroked your hair from your face, laying your head on a pillow as he held you.

"A heart's a heavy burden, love. And it's hard enough when it's your own. It's even harder I imagine with someone else's". 

"Someone had to die in order for me to live…". 

"Don't think about it like that". 

"But it's true" you protested. 

"True as it may be, they didn't die because of you. They died FOR you. There's a difference, sweetheart. This…this wasn't your fault. You didn't choose this. And something tells me they didn't either. Did you ever…" Simon hesitated, "did you ever find out about your donor?". 

"No" you answered, "and I don't think I want to. It'll just make it feel worse for me. Like…make it feel even less like mine, if that makes sense". 

"Understandable. But maybe it could bring you some closure. Because lovely, organ donors volunteer to donate their stuff-". 

"I know but…I feel like they just threw mine away and…Ghost…I don't know what they replaced it with, but half the time it feels like…like a beating chunk of lead in my chest. The only reason I'm still here is that little girl asleep across the hall" you admitted sadly, "that's why I fought so hard. I knew that if I died, Ellie would be all alone in this world again. I couldn't do that to her…I have to keep going for her" your voice cracked, "she's all I've got, Ghost".

"And that's a great thing, darling. Whatever reason you have to hold on, that's the best one. You have a reason, and that's the best damn thing. It's okay to be upset, it's okay to feel like everything is different-". 

"My mom, my sister…they all wanted me to just go back to being normal when it was all said and done but I was never normal-"  

"Shhhh don't talk like that, lovey" Ghost whispered in your ear softly, "wanna know what I used to say about normal?". 

"You used to make corny jokes about it?". 

"I would if I knew how. But no, I used to tell those who'd bitch about normalcy to look at it in the dictionary. The dictionary defines normal as anything that isn't abnormal. And it's the other way around for abnormal. Y/N, darling, there's no such thing as normal. It's a stupid, senseless word. Being special or what the fuck ever is overrated in my opinion". 

"That's easy for you to say, you're a ghost" you replied with a slight laugh, "hearing you swear is pretty funny though". 

"I may be a ghost now but…I was a person once. Not too long ago actually. About two years ago". 

You blinked. "Wait, two years ago-"

"Shhhh…don't overthink it, love. Just listen. I was a person once, just like you. And I don't know why but people fail to realize that being a human being is just hard as hell. I always wondered why in the world we always have to be something. What's wrong with not knowing who or what you are or being spontaneous? I heard once that it doesn't matter how you were made or where you came from, but it's what you do with your life that determines who you are". 

You burst out laughing. "You just quoted mewtwo from pokemon".

He was happy you caught on to that. "I did". 

"Didn't take you for a pokemon fan". 

"I wasn't but that was a damn good quote" . 

Your laugh died down a little to a soft giggle. "Might have to change that. We love pokemon in this household". 

He snorted. "Good luck". 

For a dead man, he had never felt so alive as he did in this moment. Laying here with you, only the lamp on while you both laughed about ridiculous things. 

"Hey…I heard your impression of an owl sucks" you said randomly. 

"What?" The statement threw Simon for a loop. 

"Oh my God it really is terrible" you grinned and then laughed a bit. 

It took him a minute. "Fuck…you got me with one". 

"Oh c'mon that was funny". 

Behind the mask, he raised a brow. "I suppose it was". 

"Cmon, tell me a joke". 

"Only if you bake me more muffins in the morning". 

"Blueberry?" You asked. 

"Chocolate actually". 

"Hm…I think that can be arranged. Now c'mon tell me a joke". 

"Okay…why are ghosts terrible liars?". 

"Why?". 

"Because everyone can see right through them". 

You laughed like it was the funniest damn thing. Honestly it was a wonder for him to see and hear. 

"It's so lame but I love it…I'm just easily amused, I'm sorry". 

"Nothing wrong with that. Now it's time for you to get some sleep" he pulled the covers carefully over you. 

"Do I have to?" You asked, almost like a little kid. 

"You have a big day tomorrow, looking to finally get your Cafe and all that. You need all the rest you can get" he moved to sit next to you in bed. 

"We're just gonna be looking at the place. What if…what if I miss you?" You asked, looking the ghost in the eyes. 

"I'll stay til you're asleep, love. But this took a lot out of me. I need a bucket load of energy to be able to do this". 

"And if I have another nightmare?". 

He put his hand over yours again. "Then I'll be there to chase it away. Get some rest, sweetheart". 

His touch was cold and yet soothing in an odd way. It was a literal cold comfort. Slowly you closed your eyes and started to fall asleep. When Simon was sure you were asleep, he carefully moved the blanket down to peer at your chest. Not in a dirty way, but he needed confirmation about something. 

There was no way. You were already living in his home, the one he died in. There was no way…no chance in hell…

But he had to know. 

Silent as a shadow, he pulled your shirt down a little to look at the dark massive scar on your chest. Carefully, he set his own hand over it, determined yet nervous to feel the heart beating inside. 

Simon knew this was wrong. He shouldn't have been touching you like this without your knowledge or consent. But he needed to know the truth. 

And in a few beats, he had his answer. 

"Fucking hell…Simon Vincent Riley what the actual fuck have you done to this poor girl?". 

He knew his own heartbeat when he felt it. 

He was your donor. The one you refused to know about. Simon didn't really think of where his parts would end up going, but there was something surreal about this. He always thought his parts would go to some poor saps who needed it. Saps he'd never know. 

But You…you were living in HIS apartment with HIS heart in your chest. It was HIS fault you felt like you lost what was most special about you. Sure being special was overrated but…no one deserved to feel like he did. You didn't deserve to feel like that. 

Simon thought he had done the right thing by being an organ donor. But his manner of death, the feelings that had taken him over in his last moments, that was a burden you now carried.

 A heart, his heart, was a heavy burden that had destroyed him.

And he knew that he'd throw himself into the darkest, deepest depths of hell before he let it do the same to you and Ellie…

If you guys enjoyed please consider liking, following, commenting (with either comments, tags, or both) and please reblog! I love when folks do that ^.^ thank you so much for your continued support and I hope you have a wonderful day/evening! ^.^

[roadyblr]

WHATS HE EVEN ALLERGIC TO?? (not to brag or anything but I'm officially allergy-less. woop woop!! :D)

anyway, you're my favourite blog for a reason. its so fun to talk to you and your responses are most of the time fast (probably all, I'm just impatient af :))

and plus, I get to see all the beautiful faces of my favorite group at the moment. (second favourite actually, nexz has my whole heart. like Haru.. :OO.)

like bffr. he's so PRETTY!!! my favourite polar bear fr (AND the mascot of my sports team is a bear. we're so alike. I also have glasses :OO I fear.. we have too much in common..)

off topic, zerobaseone comeback/pre-release on the 20th!! the pictures of Zhang Hao had me FOLDING. give an idol wet hair, a button up but missing the first few buttons and black angel wings??? I feel like EVERYONE would fold tbh..

anyway.. XIKERS COMEBACK WHEN?? I mean I get that they just had their comeback in September but... as I said, I'm a very impatient person..

love you!!

Got too chatty UNDERCUT TIME YIPPEE : >

Me when redsunvibes says she's allergy less I have a list of allergies the length of my arm like the betrayal I can't believe

I say that very jokingly, though I always find it interesting when people have none cuz I get dragged for all of mine oas is a bitc-ANYWAY Hunter has EIA (exercise induced anaphylaxis) and it's triggered by flour

also I try to be fast! Sometimes roadyblr admin goes a little insane and doesn't know how to answer something in the moment and don't wanna be like "wow that's crazy" and be dismissive or I just don't check my phone all that often and I'm logged onto my main on my computer

but watching redsunvibes fall out of love with xikers that is crazy I'm calling yechan rn (I say when i also like nexz, tomoya biased but they are in the like realm of me buying full albums for them I just get the platform versions like I'm a very casual enjoyer

which relatedly unrelated but I just dusted all my kpop shelves and that was hell, never get into collecting its not worth but it but it is bUT ITS NOT-)

I haven't actually seen anything beyond the poster for zb1 (the junji ito one) and the fact it might be hanahaki disease inspired is cool to me I'm looking forward to seeing if I like the song (in bloom/crush I miss you you were my favorite title tracks *sobs*)

xikers.... xikers don't listen to her no cb soon pls I'm begging ik the tour got canceled but let me breathe for a sec I just ordered cix and all(h)ours and yall got winter merch I'm gonna have to get some way pls pls give me a minute (but also ot10 album I'm so ready I missed junghoon and I'm also a very impatient person)

see you next time!! :> 💜💜

[malka-lisitsa]

What's it like dating Katherine?

I'm so glad that you asked!

I see a LOT of 'Dating Katherine would consist of-" Posts and they're all so romanticized its so unrealistic!!! So let me tell you what dating Katherine is ACTUALLY LIKE, because she is NOT an easy person to be with!

Now quick disclaimer here- this doesn't mean she isn't a good person to date and that it's all bad. It's NOT and I will definitely list the entire spectrum here good and bad- but Katherine is not for the faint of heart and if yall want to fantasize about what dating her would be like you need the real guide book.

SO here's what dating Katherine Pierce would be like.

Katherine is BPD this is a terrible condition that affects her ability to maintain relationships especially.

Paranoid delusions are v common, Katherine has incredible trust issues already (can you blame her) so paired up with paranoia she would be very suspicious at completely random times. One day she could be completely ok with x person being around you and then the next day she could be so insecure and jealous bc her head has convinced her that you are in fact cheating on her.

Katherine's rapid mood swings? Not cute! :D She can go from fine, to white hot rage in a split second and then if you blink shes sobbing! WHY? SHE DOESN'T FUCKING KNOW!! And to top it all off!! She doesn't know what to do with herself when she has these mood swings! Could be anything from isolation, to being needy, or even lashing out randomly! Its a surprise for EVERYONE INVOLVED!!

Picking fights! Legitimate fights out of nowhere! Why? Bc abandonment issues! You're gonna leave her anyway why shouldn't she be in control of that right? She will push you away viciously!! The guess what?? After that episode is over she will try to smooth it over and pull you back because she doesnt actually want to lose you- shes just SCARED and has zero emotional regulation!

She will TEST YOU CONSTANTLY and you will never know, you will never be trained, or given a guide you are expected to know what the right thing to do with/for her is and if you DONT- FIGHT. This is super common in BPD, these tests and theyre almost ALWAYS unreasonable, again bc if you fail the test she gets to pick a fight and rationalize you dont actually care about her and she should push you away before you hurt her.

Intense emotions! My GOD lets not forget that she not only feels things vampire intense but she feels them BPD intense ON TOP OF THAT. SHE WILL BE UNREASONABLE. OFTEN. IT IS NOT HER FAULT. She literally has no control over it. She is not logical when triggered it is ALL emotional lizard brain. If you push her she will bite you- no middle ground.

She will get scared, and she will most likely try to run, or push you away. Anyone who can reach you, can hurt you- and Katherine has a built in warning system when someone starts to get close enough they can actually hurt her- the the instinct to sabotage that relationship kicks in.

Katherine is an impulsive liar. You will be lied to. Probably over the stupidest shit like 'we're out of nuggets' so you pick her up something else on the way home. Also probably about important shit. Katherine's most common lie is 'im fine'

Katherine is POSSESSIVE and she is NOT shy about it either. Reactions can vary from some heavy PDA to actual violence...

Dating Katherine is dealing with her insomnia. It's dealing with her waking up screaming, or in tears. It's having her climb in your lap to sleep because she needs to feel safe. Remember this girl has been HUNTED and FUCKED WITH for 500 YEARS. SAFE is never a default feeling for her. She is ALWAYS in fight or flight mode and it's EXHAUSTING when your brain keeps telling you 'cant sleep now there are enemies near by'

Dating Katherine is never knowing whats going on in her head because she wont tell you. You need to learn her very subtle language she communicates in to understand her mental state.

its katherine having very little emotional maturity, and lashing out at the first sign of rejection or criticism. Its Katherine having black and white thinking NO grey area.

Its learning a whole new dialect just to be able to understand what she actually means when she says or does certain things.

But it's also katherine routinely playing games with you. Random games of tag. Making up new rules youve never heard of in checkers that she swears are legit she learned them in mexico. Its secretly throwing games sometimes so she can win and you get to keep playing that game...

Its her snooping through your stuff to get to know you, because while she could just ask, she needs enrichment and snooping is very fun for her.

Its her plopping herself down next to you because she just wants to be around you (even if its picking a fight for attention)

It's her head on your chest as she listens to your heart beat and falls asleep on you.

Its seeing the way she looks at you, with a love so powerful you cant even imagine what it feels like.

its her doing little things to express that she loves you. Thes things vary from doing a chore, to leaving you a present, kissing you randomly, asking to cuddle and watch a movie- its a wide variety she uses to express herself with.

its her asking you to watch videos with her or read to her.

it's finding out all of the little details she knows about you, all the tiny stuff most people don't notice, that she has learned and even likes about you.

its her cooking you one of her 4 known and perfected dishes randomly.

its quiet evenings of just existing in each others company as you do whatever

its play fighting, that turns into a make out session.

its mind blowing sex tbh

Its being loved with a love that was more than love-

its waking up next to this beautifully complex creature and knowing she picked you.

Nah, dating Katherine is not a walk in the park. It takes a very special and dedicated person with a lot of courage to handle this girl. It takes someone with patience. Someone with determination, and the ability to love her at her absolute worst. It takes someone willing to UNDERSTAND that she is not always in control of her behaviors. That she is just as fed up and scared and done with the way shes acting, but shes TRAPPED on the inside of her own head just WATCHING herself tear shit apart and she cant do ANYTHING to stop it.

It takes someone willing to meet her aggression with a gentle hand. It takes someone who will reassure her constantly that they love her and want her. It takes someone who understands that she needs special treatment most people would deem unreasonable or entitled. It's a toxic relationship until you learn the cheat codes to bypass her defense mechanisms. It takes time and dedication. So if you're thinking all of that sounds toxic and terrible, then you honestly don't deserve all the good, all the light she can be when handled properly.

Katherine is a girl who loves harder than most people could even imagine. She's dedicated. Shes smart. Shes a wonderful charismatic person- but she is DAMAGED and requires special care- so if you cant handle the care needs for an exotic animal, it's best you just visit every now and then and let someone whos willing to put in the effort, reap the immense benefits. Dating Katherine, LOVING KATHERINE- it isnt EASY.... but it's WORTH IT.

I'm sure I missed a few things for good AND bad but honestly you get the jist.

[creacherkeeper]

for sleepover saturday (time isn’t real) 4, 5, 9, and for florence 22, 25, and 30 🥰🥰

time isnt real!!! its nearly saturday again so lets just pretend this is sleepover saturday!!!

4. What's your favorite part of DMing?

i find it all so incredibly enjoyable but i think the best part is making things that are so Targeted for pcs / players and then they go crazy over it <333 like wow i get to be telling stories that are specifically for my friends!!!! and like yalls level of investment has been sooooo rewarding it makes me more emo & feel more loved than i can say <333 ive been a creative all my life but nothing has felt as good to make as lost township

5. Do you have a favorite NPC? Or type of NPC?

evil question ,,,, and like genuinely i really enjoy most of the npcs. like i find something to like or be interested in with all of them or else why would i hand them off to yall. ive definitely spent the most time with lizzie just bc of player engagement (yall know who you are)(she did not even have a character sheet in arc 1) but i think its unfortunately obvious my favorite archetype is dyke paladin with religious trauma and many things wrong with her. and i wont apologize for that.

9. What's your favorite thing your players do?

interact with the world and the plot in ways that are less about moving the plot forward and more about really inhabiting the characters. like arc 1 was very much a contained murder mystery and i think yall still did a great job with yalls characters but were very focused on Solving The Plot and i feel like in arc 2 yall have really stretched your wings and let your characters loose in a way thats just so so fun. has it taken forever to get to plot reveals Yes but its so worth it when yalls little guys are just being insane on screen for hours at a time

for florence:

22. How do they feel about the rest of the party?

ough,,,

cass: so intimidated. but also curious? quiet middle aged woman with some sort of strange foreign magic florence doesnt recognize and i think florence Wants to talk to her but will not approach first. shes clearly going through something but has mostly been keeping to herself and florence is not gonna be the one to break that

divine: she wants to be in divines good graces so bad,,, shes a wittle scared of divine but in the like. outcast girl vs popular cheerleader type of way and she definitely thinks of divine as the leader of the group. as wolf vs deer shes trying really hard not to scare divine but is maybe showing her belly a little too much. she thinks that if divine doesnt like her the rest of the party will follow suit. just feels kind of dumb and tongue tied around her

onion: shes so fuckin scared to talk to onion now. she already just really didnt know what the vibe was and then found out onion was fey and was like cool fairies are real i guess and then onion went into the First flashback and she snapped him out of it and onion immediately changed the subject to talk to her about lizzie and let her know lizzie is okay which she appreciated but is feeling very mixed up about, especially rolling so high on onion to get ,,,, A Vibe with onionlizzie. AND THEN THE SECOND FLASHBACK HAPPENED BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO BE NICE TO HIM and now onion seems Unhappy and is Booking It and florence is like okay !! i fucked up !! dunno what to do now !! so shes probably just not gonna try to talk to them again unless they approach her first and she has a very clear direction for how the conversation should go. she feels sooooo bad but is also. Worried. not a good thing to get triggered by babyboy!!

tenny: she has no fucking idea how to feel about tenny. she knows tenny isnt human and tenny seems to have some sort of connection to animals / monsters and she knows tenny was being held captive in the blasting company so theres clearly Something going on there. but tenny is really keeping to her little squad and i think again its like. florence will talk to her if tenny approaches her first but shes not going to make first contact because her role in this group feels so tenuous already

will: shes autism imprinted on him. i think will is the only one in the group she actually just feels comfortable around and shes wondering why he's so different from oliver. she had definitely heard of him before while in silvermoon and then actually meets him and hes just very kind and caring and reassuring and shes definitely going to stick as close by him as she can. shes nervous or unsure or intimidated by everyone else there but will tried to calm and reassure her after she triggered onion and seems to be the person trying to take care of everyone on the trip. dog bonded to that sad old man. shes also hoping that if shes good with will maybe oliver will be less scary at her

25. Do they believe in love?

fucked up question. i think she thinks that love is duty & work & effort & loyalty and that its not meant to be easy or always fair but you just stick it out anyway and put more elbow grease in until it works. i think shes very used to being the one putting more of the work into relationships and does not necessarily see that pattern or that its a problem. shes dated and shes had flings but shes never had romantic love and she does not think its in the cards for her. she has her sisters back and she thinks she just needs to be grateful for that and not ask for more

30. What are their thoughts on justice?

interesting ... i think florence thinks justice is like. a nice ideal to keep in your head when youre making decisions but ultimately not a force thats like. Real. in the world. shes seen too many bad people be celebrated and too many innocent people suffer to think that justice is something that actually has any power in the world. the wolf pack is much more about Balance than any sort of actual goodness or fairness so even her temple never really purported itself as having justice as an ideal. the closest to that in wolfsden is sidewinder and florence has seen firsthand that his domain is not really enforced in any way

[derangedfujoshi]

For the ask game i'd honestly say all of them because i am curious but that's too much so.... 5 of them to your liking, for genshin impact! (o ) w (o )

You said it would've been too much but I'm nothing if a YAPPER and a little HATER! So here we GO! (The girlies aren't gonna like this one so I'm not tagging it lmao)

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

Oh god, like, half of them? I could go with Aether and how ppl decided he was "the dumb labrador" sibling of the two, or with the uwufication of Scaramouche, or how they turned Ei into a fucking idiot. Honestly wherever you turn there's mischaracterization, but personally I hate the uwufication of Scara the most annoying because it completely erases all of his character and growth, all of his nuances and it's the bane of my existence, ESPECIALLY the "mommy issues" part I hate it I hate it I hate it he calls her ""mother"" ONCE and it was as in "creator" HE DOES NOT THINK OF HER AS HIS MOTHER, SHE NEVER THOUGHT OF HIM AS A SON HE WAS A DEFECTIVE PROTOTYPE DIE DIE DIE DIE

So anyway I hate all Genshin mischaracterization the same amount!

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

I don't go there (the fandom) so idk and I'm cool with that

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

WAY too many but the top two are Ei/Miko and Alhaitham/Kaveh. First one I just see them as very good friends, friendship exists and if we really want to be nitpicky Yae was closer to Makoto than Ei when she was alive sooo... My heavy dislike is a good 60% fandom-born tho, their shippers were simply VILE on twt, calling everyone who didn't like the ship "lesbophobes" even lesbians (me) so like, yeah no.

As for the second one I just ✨detest✨ the constantly bickering dynamic, it downright triggers me due to my ✨past toxic relationship✨ so I tend to avoid them in general. In this case I also find them... Like bland ass chicken, there's literally nothing going on there and if ANYTHING all the iterations I've seen have Kaveh as the butt of the joke. Bro don't even get me STARTED on how Kaveh got stripped of his entire personality to be "Alhaitham's hysterical wife", did you know that if you go into the Kaveh tag on Tumblr you'll mostly find ship posts? I have the tag blocked and the few times I tried to look up fanarts of Kaveh I had to scroll SO long in between posts. It's like he can't even fucking exist outside that goddamn ship and it PISSED ME OFF! Not to mention I heavily dislike the Genshin fandom tendencies to insta ship the New Mation Assigned Tall Male Models together as soon as they get leaked. Don't get me started on that or the enforced gender roles on this ship. Let's move on. Other popular ships I don't like are: Zhongli/Tartaglia (I was lied by the fandom, they barely interacted yall on some delulu shit), Cyno/Tighnari (yawing, also laughing at the antis shipping them that got uno reversed with the We Are Like Brothers), Chongyun/Xingqiu (boooooriiiing), Kazuha/Scaramouche (get out.).

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

I don't wanna rant, I really don't uughh so I'll try to sum it up. Scara doesn't have mummy issues, he wasn't even "alive" when she was working on him, yes he got tricked by Dottore but ultimately the choice of joining the Fatui was his "cause they look fun lolz", he showed NO OUNCE of regret for all the war crimes and yes he is soft to kids and critters and old folks and he is trying to not be evil but he is NOT lawful good nor will he ever be, he's chaotic neutral on a good day and on a Fatui killing spree on a bad one Genshin fandom learn about fully rounded characters challenge failed spectacularly.

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

Tartaglia. He's... He's not, he's Just A Dude like literally just an average bishie ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

💜: Which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?

Honestly in this fandom everyone gets lusted over so honestly idk mmhh.... Maybe the monsters? Like there's nearly not enough porn of the monsters besides Hilichurls whichare great, mind you, but there's SO much more out there like CMON!

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

*with my full chest* THE DORI HATE MUST END! IT MUST!! OK SHE LOVES MONEY AND CAPITALISM BLAH BLAH HAVE YOU CONSIDERED SHE GOT MONEY OBSESSED DUE TO HER SISTER BEING BEDRIDDEN BY ILLNESS CAUSE THEY GOT NO MONEY FOR MEDICINE OR DOCTORS AND THAT DORI DOES USE HER WEALTH FOR GOOD? THE ENTIRETY OF THE KSHAHREWAR DARSHAN (Kaveh's Academia Branch) IS KEPT ALIVE BY H E R MONEY! SHE'S ONE OF THE FIRST TO INVEST INTO THE DESERT'S REDEVELOPMENT! YES OK MONEY EEEEEVIL BUT SHE LEGIT USES THEM FOR GOOD SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

The Archons. Just the Archons. Definitely Zhongli, Venti and Ei. They're deities, of course they have blood on their hands, we KNOW they do.

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

That it's actually good; that its gacha system is the fairest of all; that they didn't HAVE to gift us anything because you simply need to play the goddamn game to be able to get shit; that meta is the devil whispering to you and sucking up all the fun and whimsy out of your gaming experience because it's making you turn a game with no in-built competitiveness into a fucking competitive game AND that if you hate it so much you should just drop it and go play something else OH wait, you won't because there is no other free to play game on the same level as Genshin and deep down you know it, you know it's at the same level of a TripleA game WITHOUT having to fork our 100 bucks and you're prissy about it.

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

Despite my personal preferences I do firmly believe that all Genshin characters have merit and deserve to stay in the game it would be Childe of course axe the redheaded twink JUST KIDDING! It would be funny tho to watch his diehard fans combust like, remember when it was rumoured he was gonna DIE in Fontaine?? Shit was mad funny to watch as a non Tarta stan, but also I have some great friends who love him and I wouldn't do that to them so yeah, he can stay.... For now👀

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

I firstly read this as "popular" and gushed over Itto/Gorou but let's SCRATCH that let me TELL YOU ABOUT EI/SARA! *grabs you by the shoulders* The little tengu almost dying and being saved by her Archon? The UNDYING DEVOTION?? THE BLIND TRUST?? THE SERVITUDE??? THE FANGIRLING????? THE SHOGUN AND HER GENERAL THEY MAKE ME GO FERAAAAAAL THEY DON'T DESERVE TO BE SO UNPOPULAR GGRRRRRRRR

📖: If you had to remove one book from the series, which would you choose?

There's no book in Genshin and I wouldn't remove a single quest byeeee

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

I don't really know? Like, I personally have a bone to pick every time a femboy gets hc as transmasc because my god it rubs my own gender identity the wrong way but I overall act upon the "don't like don't read" so I just move on with my life, yall can do whatever hOWEVER if I can be nitpicky for a second here... Scaramouche can't be trans in the canon of the game. Yae tells us that he was built by Ei as a prototype for her Shogun doll so people took that and ran saying "oh well Ei is a woman so she must have made her dolls as hwr image" WRONG they were just dolls and he was an early stage too, he so wasn't given any gendered detail so NO he doesn't have boobs or a fucking vagina ha had NOTHING down there he was a fucking MANNEQUIN! Can his story be read as trans allegory, especially given the whole dying and beinf reborn and given a new name? Yes absolutely but is he, in canon, ftm? NO! Do whatever in your AUs but man it irks me when people just blindly disrespect canon, especially such a cool one like UGH

💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?

Shit I forgot about this one EDIT uuhh hopefully no one honestly 😭

Ask me an unpopular opinion

[winterscaptain]

tell.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: i cannot tell yall how long i have been working on this one, so i'll save it. thanks to @ssaic-jareau for hanging in there with me as i pulled late nights to make this happen over the weekend!! i love you!! i know it's broad daylight for you while im being irresponsible, but i appreciate it nevertheless. let me know what you think, my lovelies! i cherish your thoughts!

words: 7.4k warnings: language, discussion of sex, canon-typical case events

summary: “we are not people who touch each other carelessly; every point of contact between us feels important, a rush of energy and relief.” veronica roth, allegiant. au!may 2012

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!

It’s always tough to spend time away from home when you aren’t on a case, but a conference kept you from your boys the last couple of days, on Strauss’s request. Aaron was none too happy about it, but as the junior-most agent in the unit (even with five years under your belt), the shitty seminars and professional development events fell on your shoulders. 

Even though you landed early in the morning, flying coach all the way back from California, there was a whole day with Jack waiting for you and Aaron upon your return. A rare Saturday - no case, no paperwork, just family.

You knock on the door with a knuckle, unable to reach your keys around your bags and breakfast. 

Aaron opens the door with a “Hey!” coated in laughter, kissing your cheek. He’s still in his pajamas. 

You squint at him. “Am I early?”

He snorts. “Never. We’re running late.” He takes the takeout bags and coffee from your hands. “Thank you for breakfast.” 

“Of course. I wanted -” 

Jack runs across the apartment and slams into you full force. “You’re home!” 

You curl around him, your hands on his head and shoulder as he cuddles into you. “I am! I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

His voice is muffled by your shirt and it makes you smile. You glance at Aaron over Jack’s head to find a smile. 

“Come look at our fort!” Jack, wearing a blanket cape, takes you by the hand and brings you into the dining room, where the dining room table has been turned into a massive fort fit for a king. 

Or, rather, two kings. 

“Oh my goodness, Jack. This is incredible, little bug. Your architectural prowess knows no bounds.” You look up at Aaron from your place on the floor. “Where’s your cape?” 

His deadpan, as usual, never fails to make you laugh. “Uh, I’m wearing it.” 

Jack continues to drag you all the way under the table until you’re laying on your bellies in the little slap-dash shelter.

Aaron flops down on the floor on the other side of Jack. “We slept in here all night.” 

“Really? That sounds like so much fun.” 

What you mean is, What, with your bad back? 

“Mmhmm,” he replies, only to really say - 

Yep. I feel like shit. 

“Can we sleep in here again tonight, Dad?” Jack asks, turning to Aaron. “All together?” 

You exchange a glance with Aaron, who laughs. 

So much for grown-up plans...

+++

You’re both scrambling to get ready for the bike ride across the mall and day at the Smithsonian when the phone call comes in. 

“Hotchner,” Aaron says, still at the counter, tucking his phone under his chin as he finishes packing the rest of the picnic basket. 

He freezes, hastily bagging some carrots and putting them in the basket before holding the phone in his hand and leaning heavily against the counter. “You’re kidding.” 

That’s not a good tone. 

Jack looks up at you, and you rest your hands on his chest over his shoulders, backing him into you as you watch Aaron with your lip between your teeth. 

“Did they raise the terror alert?”

Shit. 

“Okay. That’s for the best. Um…” He checks his watch. “I’ll get down there now. Yeah….Do you need the rest -” 

With a huff, he meets your eyes and nods. 

You let out a sigh and kiss Jack’s head. He knows the drill and runs off for your phone, still charging in the bedroom. 

“Understood, ma’am. I’ll be there first. We gotta get Jack squared away but I’ll get going while -” He pauses, probably interrupted by Strauss again. “Thank you...Yes...I’ll be there as soon as I can and the rest of the team will meet at the scene.” 

You know that also means you. You also can’t ignore the prick of anxiety that shoots through your belly, knowing he’ll likely be in danger without you for at least a half-hour. 

Jack returns with your phone, Jessica already on the line. 

+++

Aaron, of course, leaves right away while you wait for Jess. 

You sit on the couch with Jack. “I’m so sorry, buddy. We’ll have to do a big day, just the three of us, another time.” 

Jack shrugs. “It’s okay. Sometimes you just gotta catch the bad guys.” 

The offhand nature of his understanding strikes you as instantly hilarious, and he laughs with you when you double over, wiping tears from your eyes. 

“Yeah. Sometimes you just do, kiddo.” 

+++

When you finally arrive at the scene, Dave’s already set up hostage negotiation. You cross the street, finding Will and JJ huddled with Emily and Derek. 

“You okay?” You ask, placing your hand on Will’s shoulder. He’s not just JJ’s not-husband. He’s your friend, too, all on his own. 

“Yeah, jus’ fine.” He shakes his head. “Jus’ a little rattled, is all.” 

“Understandable.” 

His mouth presses into a thin line as he exhales. “Thanks.” He checks his watch. “Y’all should get on back. I think Strauss just showed up.”

JJ kisses his cheek and trots off to meet the rest of the unit. After another hug for Will, you follow suit. 

+++

“The media's calling them the Face Cards. Seven bank robberies in seven months. They've killed one person at each robbery.” Aaron leads the rest of you to the trailer, where the monitors are all set up. 

Dave furrows his brow. “M. O.?” 

“Single gunshot wound. Each of the victims has bled out.” 

That doesn’t make much sense. 

You jump in. “Serial killers with a 30-day cooling-off period and we're only just hearing about this now?” 

“Well, headquarters has always characterized them robbers first and killers second,” Aaron replies, glancing back at you. You roll your eyes. 

Of course they did. 

“No one kills seven people without serious psychopathic tendencies,” Spencer notes. He’s more than right, and you thought the same thing - it’s almost like he took the words out of your mouth. 

“I disagreed with the original assessment. I was overruled.” Aaron’s bland version of frustration is clear in his tone, but he knows, just as you do, that ship has sailed. All you can do now is handle what’s in front of you. 

“So why are we here now?” Dave asks. 

“Because crisis negotiation is overseas.” 

Aaron starts to walk again as JJ asks after more information. Aaron usually rattles it off pretty quickly, but with the quick start this morning, you know he trusts the rest of you to ask the questions you need. “What more do we know about them? 

“They're organized, they're efficient. Each strike lasts about two minutes.” 

Derek, walking beside you, finally joins the conversation. “They gotta be scouting the banks in advance. Why haven't we been able to identify them off of surveillance footage?” 

“They hack the security feed and turn off the cameras, both during the initial canvass and during the robbery, until the masks come back on, and then we're allowed to watch.” Aaron leads you all into the tactical staging truck, watching the security feeds. 

+++

As you continue to watch, the scene becomes clearer, the power dynamics more tangible. 

Dave sees it, too. “They're using the hostages as human shields.” 

JJ, with Will beside her, studies the footage, watching the Queen run around while the King finds himself preoccupied with the Jack’s wound. “This is the first time they've been interrupted. What went wrong?”

“It's a big bank,” Emily says. “It's possible they weren't about to round everybody up before someone triggered an alarm.” 

That’s a fair point, but you ask your question anyway.  “Why haven't they cut the feed now that they've been cornered?”

Derek, still beside you, answers. “Letting us see inside gives up a tactical advantage. They gotta know that.” 

They don't seem to care,” Aaron says, from your other side. 

You’re all silent for another minute, watching to see what happens next. Even though their plans went awry, the team still looks fairly calm and collected, all things considered. 

JJ’s frown only deepens. “They're overconfident. Arrogant, even.” 

“The face card masks add to their narcissism.” Spencer’s voice comes from the end of the line. “Their personas are the royalty of poker.” 

You nod - it’s a great point - while Aaron starts making assignments.  

“JJ, Reid, and Prentiss, look at past robberies. That's gonna be our victimology. Pull another analyst if you need to.” He turns to you, then Dave, on his other side. “I want you two to handle negotiations. And, Morgan, strategize tactical options with MPD.” 

You shuffle, gathering your radio and earpiece from the charger next to Penelope’s computer. 

When the rest of the team leaves, you hang back with Dave, keying into the radio channels and standing by for further instruction - you know there’s more for you in the trailer at the moment. 

Further instruction, though, may have to wait. Strauss climbs the steps into the rig and Aaron greets her. “Chief Strauss.” 

“The Director ordered me to supervise your operation.” 

Of course he did. 

“Puts you right in the spotlight,” Dave says, not unkindly. It’s almost fond. 

You can’t help but hold back a little bit of a smile. If the situation were reversed and it was Aaron at the helm, you’d be proud of him, too. 

“Well, you've got gunmen with hostages in the Capital. The Hill's concerned.” 

Aaron nods, gesturing to you and Dave. “We're about to open lines of communication.”

“What about a tactical assault?”

The three of you shake your heads as Aaron responds. “I don't think it's a good idea. There are hostages in front of the doors and windows.” 

Erin, finally onboard, turns to Dave. “What's your negotiation strategy?” 

“The Jack's bleeding out. They'll ask for medical attention.” 

You hum, a little skeptical, and look back at the feed. “The female unsub might have something to say about that. Look at her body language.” 

Dave follows your gaze. “She is cold and detached. The King seems genuinely concerned about his partner's welfare. But she couldn't give a damn.” 

Your eyebrows raise. “The men probably know each other.” 

Aaron, picking up on your train of thought, flags Penelope, “Garcia?” 

She turns in her chair, already typing. “Shuffling my techno-fabulous deck of databases, sir.” 

And so it begins. 

+++

“I’ll do the talking - I’ll need to establish some rapport with them, but I’ll need you keeping the team updated and coordinating any allowances or personnel as things come up, okay?” 

You nod, a little smile pulling at the side of your mouth. “You got it.” 

Dave claps your shoulder. “You’ll be in this chair one day, so pay attention.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

He dials in and the phone starts ringing through the speaker. You’ll be able to hear everything. 

“Who the hell's this?” You check the monitor. The King picked up the phone. 

Obviously, the Jack can’t pick up the phone, stupid, he’s bleeding out!

“My name is David Rossi. I'm with the FBI. To whom am I speaking?” 

The King doesn’t address the question, but rather looks back toward his fallen compatriot. “All right, I want a doctor sent in, and then I want out of here.” 

Dave checks his watch. “Well, we certainly can discuss that. Let the hostages go and we'll give you all the medical help you need.” 

You take a mental note. Your memories from Dave’s lectures at the academy are fuzzy at best, and you haven’t had very much time handling these things in the field. The last time a major hostage crisis was at hand, you were a hostage yourself. 

A shot hostage, if the chronic nerve pain in your shoulder is any reminder. 

“I can't do that. I need the leverage.” 

“How about a sign of good faith? Send out the women and children and I'll see what I can do.” 

You watch as the King takes the phone away from his mouth. You can vaguely hear him update the Queen, but she’s not having it. She pulls a child from the lineup and your lower lip disappears between your teeth. 

A man, you presume the girl’s father, speaks to the Queen before she shoots him in the abdomen. The King gets back on the line. 

“You better send in some more help or more people are gonna die.” He hangs up. 

Shit. 

+++

“You’re not seriously considering sending an agent in there?” You turn on Hotch and he sighs, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. 

“We don’t have much of a choice. I’m not the authority on-site and with the director pressing Strauss, there’s not much I can do.” 

The two of you are alone for the time being, so you’re able to rib him for a second to lighten the tension. 

“What’s the point of being unit chief if you can’t lord it over everyone all the time?” 

You're rewarded with a shadow of a smile and a snort. “Don’t be ridiculous. I lord it over you plenty.” 

“Not enough.” Your tone is childish, the words murmured under your breath. 

When he walks away, he taps the side of your ass with the back of his hand. If you weren’t in a professional setting, you could mistake it for a promise. 

But, Aaron, that would be unprofessional!

You turn to look at him and just catch his wink as he hops up the steps behind Strauss. 

+++

With Garcia’s magic and Aaron’s genius, you figure out that the men are related. 

While Rossi hops on the next phone call, you help Derek outfit the medic with a bug and a weapon. 

“We're sending in the medic now, Chris. Tell Oliver help is on the way.” 

Derek nods at the medic and he hops off, heading into the bank. You jog over to the trailer only to find a humorously horrified look on Strauss’s face. 

“Is she…” 

You get closer, looking up at the monitor. 

“...putting on lipstick?” 

You scoff. “She’s vain. Only contributes to a profile of vanity and narcissism. She likes to be seen - this is a game for her.” 

You jog back out before Strauss can respond, taking your place between Aaron and Derek. 

“Green. You gotta go. Green. Go,” Derek says into his mic. 

The agent-turned-medic makes a move and immediately gets a shot between the eyes for his trouble. Your hand files over your mouth and Derek ducks away, taking a second. 

Well, that couldn’t have been any worse. 

You look at Aaron, still staring at the screen, beside you. He’s thinking the same thing. 

+++

Derek walks up to you, kevlar and sunglasses firmly in place. “Tactical's been deployed, snipers are moving into position.” 

At your questioning look, Strauss clarifies. “The Director's ordered a full tactical assault.” 

The look doesn’t leave your face. “His last orders cost us an agent.” 

Radio transmissions fly one ear and out the other, not to mention the flurry of activity around the negotiation tent. Before Strauss can reply, Will’s call shoots past you to Aaron.

“SWAT's getting itchy fingers.” 

Aaron turns, covering his comm mic at his chest. “You remind SWAT that bank robberies are federal jurisdiction. No one fires until they're ordered to.” 

“Right.” 

Will disappears and you suppress a little pleased shudder. Aaron’s very much in control now and it is doing things to your body that are better suited for, well, anywhere else. You tighten the velcro across your chest as if to compress another rush of… nothing useful. 

Aaron turns back to you, Dave, Derek, and Strauss. “All right, when the crossfire starts, what's gonna happen to the hostages caught in the middle?” 

The question is a trap, and Dave doubles down. “That's the wrong call, Erin, and you know it.” 

Strauss falters for a minute, leveling with the rest of you. “It's not my call.” 

Aaron doesn’t let up. “You're here and you're in charge.” His tone is sharper than yours would be in the same situation, but you’re nearly fifteen years younger and a whole four steps down on the totem pole. 

Not for the first time, a rush of affection and gratitude for him crests over your in a wave and you have to look away, taking a deep breath to collect yourself. When you look back, he’s watching you. 

I’m okay. 

He nods as Erin speaks again. 

“So you want me to disobey the Director?” Erin sounds dubious, at best. 

Dave responds quickly. “Yes.” 

Aaron amends, and if the situation wasn’t so tense his correction would almost be funny. “No. I just want you to buy us a little time.” He pauses, wavering for a second as he rephrases. “Don't be quite so efficient.” 

You’re never surprised by Aaron’s political savvy, but it is a nice reminder that he can run circles around every bureaucrat in the district if given the chance. 

“Whatever you're gonna do, do it fast.”

+++

“It’s an impossible ask, Dave. You know JJ will never go for it.” 

“It’s not up to JJ.” Aaron’s voice approaches from behind you. “It’s the director’s call, but mine first.” 

He comes to rest beside you as Dave leaves the two of you alone. 

“What are you gonna do?” You look at Aaron, finding his eyes trained on the monitor, arms crossed over his chest.

He sighs. “If it was you he asked for...” 

You bump his shoulder. “What, not interested in feeding me to serial killers today?” 

It’s a loaded joke, especially for the two of you, but after Emily, you’re past such things. If the situation were reversed, Haley would never stop giving you hell for getting serial-killed the way she did. It’s only fair to return the favor. 

“Over my dead body, baby.” He reaches down to squeeze your hand for a second before letting you go. “Do me a favor?” 

“Anything.” 

“Stay here.” 

+++

You can hear JJ’s anguished shouts from here, beside Dave and the phone. 

Derek has a good enough hold on her, Emily and Aaron protecting him from JJ’s wild elbows. She’s beside herself but eventually breaks free and sprints back toward the trailer. You turn to follow her, just in time to hear a gunshot. 

Will.

+++

You’re all gathered in the trailer as JJ asks the same questions over and over again. Garcia, just like the first time, doesn’t have any answers. 

The static on the monitors is nearly deafening in its silence. 

JJ looks at you for a moment and takes a shaky breath before looking at Hotch. Her eyes are red-rimmed and her voice is broken when she speaks. “Aaron.”

You know he’s never been able to deny her anything. In the entire time you’ve known him, it’s one of the few things that hasn’t changed. 

His eyes don’t budge from hers. “We’re going in.”

+++

You press the heels of your hands to your eyes, trying to stem the stinging from the heat and debris. Your ears ring and you’ve got a scrape on your chin from where you face-planted into the asphalt. 

Eventually, you remove your hands and open your eyes to the early summer sunshine. Your bias is clear enough - Aaron’s the first one you look for and the first one you find.

He’s looking a little dazed and more than a little ruffled, but alive. 

Ignoring the whine in your ears and swiping some blood off your face, you jog over to him, taking stock of him from head to toe. “You alright?”

He doesn’t answer right away, and you realize he probably can’t hear you. An image of Kate reaching for you and the smell of blood flashes into your head, but you push it away. 

His ear…

“Aaron?” You lay a hand on his shoulder and he startles a little, meeting your eyes and coming back to himself all at once. 

He puts his hands on your shoulders, tipping your jaw up with one finger to examine your chin. “You’re hurt.”

“Honey, I’m fine. Your ear…” You follow a small trickle of blood up the side of his neck, rounding him to get a better look. Just as you’d feared, his bad ear is bleeding again. 

He waves off your concern and taps his comm mic, calling for support in quick, clear soundbites. You snag the back of his vest before he can get too far away from you. 

“As soon as you’re done with that, please get it looked at.”

With a sigh, he nods and gestures to your chin. “I will if you do.”

You roll your eyes. 

“Where’s Emily?” You hear Morgan ask JJ as they get their bearings around you. 

With a start, you follow them into the building, attached to a couple of SWAT agents. You know Aaron will get after you for going in before everything’s cleared by bomb squad, but you can’t keep still. 

The heartache you feel for JJ supersedes anything else going on in your head. It’s something that plagues you all the time - the both of you doing this job. Losing Aaron in the field is a stark reality you can hardly consider at any point, especially when evidence of its reality is right in front of you. 

+++

Aaron can’t help himself - he pulls you close after you’re both released by the paramedics, pressing a kiss to your head. It’s almost desperate as he leans back and pulls your collar from your vest, his hands smoothing over your shoulders. 

“I need to debrief SWAT and first responders - can you stay with Dave and help with the media?” 

“Okay. Let me know if you need any extra hands - I’ll send ‘em right over.” 

He smiles at you, soft, small, and affectionate. “Thank you.” 

+++

You pull your phone from your pocket. 

She picks up on the second ring. “Yeah?”

“Hey, Jess.” 

“Hey.” She pauses. “You okay?”

With a shaky sigh, you reply. “Yeah. I’m fine. Aaron’s fine.” 

“I heard about the explosion. Is there anything I can do?” 

“No, we’re fine. Just...Just stay out of the city.” After another breath. “Is Jack okay?” 

She laughs a little. “Yeah. He’s fine. He’s a little anxious but I turned off the TV and we’re headed out to the park for a little while.” 

“Good.” You look over at Aaron, who holds your eyes for a second before returning to his EMS strategy huddle. 

“Be safe and come home to us soon, okay?” 

“Yeah. We will. We love you. Tell Jack we -”

“ - Of course.” 

+++

You follow Spencer through the debris once you’re done handling the media storm with Dave. Picking through the rubble, searching for something - anything - but not finding much. 

Derek’s voice echoes through the ruined, cavernous space that used to be the main lobby. “Everything they've said and done was for a reason. But what doesn't make any sense is she switched the negotiation demand. Chris wanted to go to Switzerland. She changed it to Chad.” 

“They also requested a private plane,” you note, “but no mention of a pilot.” 

Spencer stops, and you almost run into him. Emily stops as well, looking back at the pair of you as Spencer organizes his thoughts. When he’s ready to speak, he says, “Guys, if you think about it, even the dates mean something. In 2004, while she was wreaking havoc abroad, he was dishonorably discharged. Then in 2008, they likely met in Chad. And now this in 2012.” 

Good thought. But then again, when is one of Spencer’s thoughts bad? 

It’s a decent enough question, and you run the gamut of all the surprising and absurd things Spencer’s said in your presence over the years. One in particular comes to mind. 

Evil twin, eviler twin. 

You hold back a little laugh, despite the harrowing circumstances. 

Yeah, that one was pretty bad. 

“Okay.” Derek grabs your attention again. “So, is it a coincidence that those are all election years and they attacked D.C.? Maybe this is a political statement.” 

Emily’s eyes are stuck on something on the ground, but you’re not sure if it’s what she’s really looking at. “No. It's more personal than that. It's their story.” 

Derek’s brow pinches. “What?” 

“All of the details are a part of their story.” 

She starts to leave through one of the shattered windows and you follow her back to the trailer, Spencer and Derek not far behind. She hops up the steps and you take your place beside Aaron once you’re all inside. It’s much cozier in here, with eight of you. 

Spencer fills the rest of the team in on your conversation inside. Unsurprisingly, it’s rote - read like a cold script. 

Emily picks up when he’s done. “Their timeline suggests they were both destructive before they met.” 

“So we're talking about ex-military turning on their country.” Strauss looks and sounds skeptical, but you can’t blame her. In American culture, it’s rather incongruous. 

Now who sounds like Spencer?

“It's rare, but soldiers become disenfranchised no matter what the nationality. And if he met someone like-minded at that time, there'd be no stopping them.”

“So you're thinking they met during the civil unrest in Chad in '08.” Aaron’s voice isn’t skeptical - more probing. You can see the wheels turning behind his eyes. 

“Yeah,” Spencer says. “And one or both of them are pilots.”

“So if Garcia concentrates on that region,” Emily points to an area on a map, lit up on the monitor, “specifically weapons running in and out of Libya, there's a good chance we'll find their paths crossed.”

Penelope types furiously for a moment, her fingers flying over the keys. “Okay, multiple entries into Libya for a private pilot named Matthew Downs in '08, but I don't have her name.” 

“Well, because she had aliases. It's the only way to stay a ghost.” 

Looks like Emily’s Interpol knowledge is coming in handy. 

She continues. “Here's the thing - they are a couple. Regardless of what we believe of them, they will celebrate themselves and their connection.” She turns to Penelope, a thought sparking behind her eyes. “Is there anything that happened on this date in Chad?”

“Oh, you are good, Emily Prentiss.” Penelope types for a moment and you lean forward, watching her work. “But this news is not. Yes, there were multiple explosions on this date in '08.” 

Aaron speaks from beside you. He’s a little closer than you thought, and it startles you a little. 

In fairness, you’re still jumpy from the explosion. 

“Where were the most casualties?” 

“At a church-- no, no, a train. Yep.” 

Morgan squints at the photos of the hulled-out building. “Semtex and C-4?”

Penelope nods while Aaron turns toward Strauss. “Are trains still arriving at Union Station?”

“Yes, but only the authorities are allowed in.” There’s a moment where she almost looks panicked, but collects herself as the rest of you gear up to leave. 

Emily exhales down her nose. “That’s why they needed Will.” 

+++

Aaron drives impossibly fast through the district. You sit in the back seat with Emily, holding onto the handles above the door for dear life. 

You’ve never flashed your badge so many times in such a short period. Aaron tucked his badge into a strap of his vest, just to save time, but still has his credentials locked between his fingers as he drives. If you didn’t trust him so much, it would freak you out a little.  

+++

The comm in your ear crackles as Emily speaks. “I found Will.” 

“Is he mobile?” Aaron’s voice comes both from beside you and your comm - it’s a little disorienting, but you push through. 

“Negative. He's got 6 transmitters on him and this whole place is gonna blow.”

There’s hardly a hesitation in Aaron’s steps as he processes the information. “All right, where are you? I'm on my way.” 

He’d like to think he’s made of steel. 

Sometimes he is. 

“No,” Emily asserts. “You gotta get everyone out. Is the bomb squad here yet?” 

“They're 3 minutes away.” 

“Copy.” She sounds a little disappointed, or maybe frustrated, but doesn’t say anything else.

He turns back to you, holding you by the shoulders. “I want you leading evacuation. Get out of here.” 

Tears prick at your eyes and honestly, this is the first moment you’ve really been afraid. Existentially afraid. Afraid of walking out of this train station and leaving Aaron and Emily and Will to blow up. “I’ll see you later?” 

“Yep. Go.” He tries to push you away, but you resist. 

“Promise?” 

His brown eyes soften as his mouth presses into a thin line. “Can’t. I love you. Get outta here.” 

You bounce on your toes for a second, acutely aware you’re wasting valuable time, before yanking him forward to kiss his cheek before you sprint away from him, shouting instructions to the panicked crowd as you go. 

+++

You catch up with Derek, racing to catch your suspect. He corners him in an alley but can’t quite overpower him. You reach for your sidearm, but by the time you take aim, Downs is already on the ground, a gunshot ringing through the air. 

Startled, you turn over your shoulder to find Aaron still staring down the sight of his Glock. 

Could take an eye out, with that thing.

You sigh and holster your weapon. Derek looks plenty dazed and you don’t blame him. It’s not often he’s on the receiving end of a near-miss in close combat. He looks over your shoulder and you can see something pass between him and Aaron. 

Maybe one day, Derek will know how much Aaron loves and respects him. 

You watch Derek shake it off and stumble as he attempts to rise to his feet. 

Today is not that day. 

Coming to your senses, you trot forward and help him to his feet, brushing wayward asphalt off of him. You turn back to Aaron. “Everything alright?” 

He ignores you, pressing the mic at his chest as he begins to run back toward the station. “Prentiss, what’s your status?”

+++

Seeing Will and Emily leave the building in one piece is a relief. You meet Aaron’s gaze and his eyes are exhausted. The gears in his head still whir. He’s still in game-mode, and it’s a good thing. 

With the logistical nightmare of two bomb threats in one day, there’s a lot of work ahead of you. 

+++

You swing back and forth in your desk chair, brain completely numb from the paperwork. It’s been a long day, and you’ve been up since three this morning, what with your flight back from California. You’re certain you’ve had longer days than this one, but you’re approaching twenty-one hours without sleep and it feels worse than you remember. 

What were we planning to do today?

A bike ride and museum day with Jack seems impossibly long ago. Last week, maybe.

Derek and Emily sit on their desks, attempting to keep a conversation going without much luck. 

They were house-hunting this morning. 

Penelope slowly descends the stairs as Spencer turns in his seat. “The convention’s still happening tomorrow if you want to go.” 

They were at a convention this morning. 

Everyone had lives this morning. Weird.

She makes an uncertain noise. “That whole city-on-the-brink-of-destruction thing kinda took the wind out of my sails, you know?” 

You look up at her as she takes her place beside Spencer. “It’ll get you every time.” 

“You gotta watch out for that,” Emily adds. It makes you smile a little. 

Derek looks a little less amused, reminding Emily they’ll have to finish the inspection another time. Between Spencer and Penelope, Emily cops to a crack in the foundation of her almost-home. 

“That does not sound good,” Penelope says. You can’t help but agree. 

There’s a weird look on Derek’s face, but you ignore it in favor of Strauss’s descent on the stairs. 

“Our unsub,” she says, “is Izzy Rogers. She'll be charged with multiple counts domestically, and our international counterparts will have their turn with her. She will never see the light of day.” A little smile graces her lips. 

You realize with the tiniest of laughs (really - it’s a one on the Aaron Hotchner scale of laugher, which means it’s hardly noticeable to the naked eye) that you don’t hate her or even dislike her as much as you used to. Maybe, you even want her around. 

Don’t push it.  

“I just thought you'd like to know that.” 

The five of you murmur something that sounds like, “Thank you, ma’am.” 

She pulls Derek, probably to kick his ass for something or another and send herself back on your shit list. 

That’s a problem for another time. 

You take Izzy Rogers’s file from Emily, looking over an impressive rap sheet. You’re happy for a few things. 

The first - that Aaron’s not a federal prosecutor anymore. This’ll be a case for the ages. 

The second - you’ll never have to think about her again. 

The third - you’re not sure. You’re sleep-deprived. It’ll come to you. 

She cost me my precious eight hours and I’ll never forgive her. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Aaron leave his office. You set the file down and look up at him, halfway-hoping for once he’ll tell you to go home without him. 

“Dave wants to know if everyone is free tomorrow night.” 

Without any inflection at all, you reply. “We better not be doing anything tomorrow night.” 

“Well,” Derek says, interrupting Emily’s snort. “If he’s buying, then I’m definitely in.” 

Emily, Spencer, and Penelope jump onto Derek’s conditional acceptance and a rare smile pulls at Aaron’s face, his dimples on full display. 

“Hear that? We’re in.” 

+++

When you get home, Aaron all-but carries you to bed. With the tenderest of hands, he removes your shoes and socks, unbuttons your pants, slides them down your legs, and throws them in the laundry basket. 

You’re practically wilting where you sit, feeling more and more like a sleepy toddler by the minute. 

Aaron unbuttons your shirt and slips it off your shoulders, kissing each cheek in turn. “I’ll start a shower.” 

You move to protest, but he strips and that mostly shuts you up. He starts the water before he returns to your side.

“I just want to sleep, Aar. Please.” 

“Baby,” he says, a fond little pleading note in his tone. “We just changed the sheets. Do you really want to get semtex all over them?” 

With a huff - “No.” 

He smiles and helps you to your feet. “Didn’t think so.” 

You’re so tired, it doesn't even cross your mind to take advantage of the shared shower or his lack of clothes. By the time he dries you off, tucks you in, and locks the bedroom door to ward off the over-eager six-year-old down the hall, you’re asleep. 

His own exhaustion pulling at him, he doesn’t have the time or energy to cherish how peaceful, safe, and warm you look. He just draws you close to him until he can feel your heartbeat. 

Sleep takes him rapidly after that. 

+++

As Will and JJ exchange their vows, you tuck further into Aaron’s arms. His whisper floats past your ear, barely audible. “Wanna do that sometime?”

“What? Get married?” Your voice is just as quiet. 

“Mhmm.”

“Only if it’s you.”

There’s a kiss pressed to your temple with a smile behind it. “I think I can make that happen.”

You turn your head to the side to keep your snark from carrying. “Please don’t propose to me right now. This weekend’s been long enough.”

Derek kicks the side of your foot from where he stands beside you, unable to hear the conversation but knowing you both well enough to keep you from tumbling down the rabbit hole of distraction. 

Aaron presses another kiss to your temple. “I love you.” You feel it rather than hear it.

You pick up one of his hands and kiss the back of it. You don’t need to say anything. 

+++

Aaron holds you close as you dance together, surrounded by your family. JJ and Will sway back and forth nearby, wrapped entirely in each other. Erin and Dave have been surprisingly brave, dancing and laughing quietly together throughout the evening. 

As nice as it was to just have something for the two of you, sharing your love with your family has its own set of perks. You don’t have to hide anymore or justify your pigheaded protection of the other. 

You can just… be. 

+++

Eventually, Dave calls all the “...fortunately unmarried individuals to the dance floor,” and refuses to let anyone slip through the cracks. 

When Aaron hangs back, drink in-hand and a little smile on his face, Dave calls him out. “Divorcés and widowers, too, c’mon.” He pauses, finding another tactic when Aaron doesn’t move. “If you’re both, you get extra points!” 

Aaron rolls his eyes and you look around, finding an inappropriate amount of humor in JJ’s confused relatives. You can’t help but bark a loud laugh when you see how hard Derek’s trying to keep his mirth at bay.

Too soon for the dead wife jokes? He seems to ask. Can I laugh? 

Something in your eyes gives him tacit permission and he nearly blinds you with his smile. 

When Dave’s tricks fall short, you do your best to pull Aaron from the sideline with your best set of bedroom eyes. He courageously resists, so you give up and settle next to Anderson. “What do you think Dave’s come up with, this time?” 

“God only knows.” 

Anderson, like the rest of you, knows that Dave’s hosting abilities know no bounds. 

“Because so many of you are joyfully unmarried, the newlyweds wanted to make sure there was someone else to suffer the slings and arrows of matrimony with them in the near future. Thus,” he opens his arm to JJ, who appears with her bouquet and a smile, “the bouquet toss will be an equal-opportunity event.” 

With a laugh and a shake of your head, you prepare to duck out of the way. 

You look over at Aaron. This is ridiculous. 

He only shakes his head, hiding his smile behind his drink. And yet…

He leaves the rest of the implication unsaid, but you flip him off for good measure. Your exchange must have taken longer than you thought because before you know it, you have a face full of white roses. It’s over. 

You pull the flowers from your face and level JJ with a glare across the dance floor. “Really?” 

She raises her eyebrows and shrugs. “I turned my back and everything.” 

There are whoops and hollers from your team and you can only roll your eyes. Derek and Will strong-arm Aaron onto the dance floor (you know he let them - if he really wanted to avoid you, they wouldn’t be able to move him an inch), where you’re both cajoled into a kiss and a photo. Penelope’s on the other side of the camera, grinning from ear to ear. 

She waves at Aaron over the camera. “Smile for real, damn you!” 

She amends, adding, “Sir,” for good measure. It has its intended effect and she’s rewarded with a rare, bright laugh from her unit chief. 

Absurd traditions aside, you’d be lying if said you stopped smiling even once. 

+++

As the party settles, some couples stay out on the dance floor, sedately twirling and swaying to the music that continues to play across the yard. 

You and Aaron have relaxed significantly since the Great Bouquet Debacle, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the top two buttons of his shirt undone. You’re sitting across his lap, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, with one of his arms wrapped around your middle and the other draped over your knees - the picture of relaxation. 

Penelope, Derek, Emily, and Will have taken up residence on the other side of the dance floor, their heads close together and voices low.

Aaron’s eyes slide over them as he watches the room, scanning out of habit. “What do you think they’re talking about?”

You lean further into him as four pairs of eyes flicker over to you before returning to their huddle. “Us, probably.” 

He hums, understanding and pensive. “Probably our sex life, right?” 

“Probably,” you sigh, playing at boredom. He covers your hand with one of his and you play with his fingers - lacing, unlacing, kissing his knuckles. 

It’s nice to feel safe, comfortable enough to love each other where curious eyes can see you. 

You can feel his smile against your forehead as he presses a kiss between your brows.  

“I mean,” you continue, “there is a lot to talk about.”

He shrugs, adjusting his arm where it lays across your legs to keep you both comfortable in the seat you share. “That’s true enough. Though, I can’t imagine any of their projections being right.”

+++

“I bet they’re into like…tantric sex. Like hours and hours and hours you know?” Penelope says, conspiracy the top note in her tone. 

Derek looks at her and she backtracks, only a little on the defensive. 

“What? Spencer’s talked to me about it before and I...read.” 

He rolls his eyes, but Emily spares Penelope from any further interrogation. 

“I could see that.” She watches the way your fingers wander over Aaron’s bare forearm, playing with the ridges of his watch, the way his thumb absent-mindedly draws small circles on your outer thigh. “Yeah, actually I think that’s exactly what happens.”

+++

“What do you think they’ve got so far?” 

He plays at boredom. “They’re probably trying to take a guess at anything they can reach - with both of our profiles in Derek’s pocket, he’s going to have the most luck, I think.” 

“Really?” You ask. “Not Emily?” 

He snorts. “No. She has her mind on other things.” 

That holds you up for a second, and you’re not sure if he’s still playing into the bit. “Wait, what do you mean?” 

He shakes his head. “I’ll tell you later.” 

“She’s resigning, isn’t she?” You give up the fun and lay your head in the crook between his neck and shoulder. 

Without thinking, his hand rises to your cheek, affectionately brushing over your cheekbone before dropping back down. “She might be.” 

“Did she do that thing where she sighs really big and then looks off to the upper right middle distance?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Shit.” 

You’re both quiet for a moment, just enjoying the low lull of the music and the lights and the sights and smiles of your family. 

“Hey.” 

You lean back a little and meet Aaron’s eyes. “Yeah?” 

“What’s my tell?” 

The concern drops out of your face all at once. “You think I’m gonna spill just like that so you can go and change it on me? Not a chance.” 

He sighs and his chin tips up in defeat. “So I have one?” 

“Of course you do, stupid.” You flick his chest and a laugh rumbles through him. “Everyone does. You know mine, I know yours. You’re gonna have to get over it.” 

“So you’ve caught me in lies before?” He asks, not without humor. 

“Duh. I’m pretty sure I’ve caught every lie you’ve ever told, but you seemed so proud of yourself that I just let you have it.” 

You can almost feel the eye roll. “Really?” He sounds skeptical. “Name one lie you’ve caught me in.” 

“Alright.” You count off on your fingers. “You dinged my car door a couple of weeks ago, you definitely didn’t drop the bags at Goodwill, you do know it wasn’t Jack who finished the ice cream in the freezer, you -” 

“Okay.” He covers your hands with his and kisses your fingers. “That’s enough. I get it.” 

You kiss his cheek. “I’m sure you’ve caught me in every single lie I’ve ever told, too, huh?” 

“Only every once since the day we met. Yours is obvious.” 

It’s a trap. You don’t take it. “Hmm. That’s convenient.” 

“Isn’t it?” 

You lean back to look at him. “You’re a shit, you know that?” 

He nods and raises his eyebrows, a cheeky, close-mouthed smile slowly creeping across his face. 

You playfully smack his chest with the back of your hand. “Fucker.” 

He says something under his breath and you level him with a look that has him repeating himself. 

“I said, you wish.” 

You roll your eyes and tuck back into his neck, kissing the skin above his collar. You can feel him shiver and you know you’ve got him. “Not just wish, honey. Know.” 

+++

tagging: @writefasttalkevenfaster @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @hotchsflower @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @bwbatta @wakatoshislover @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @arthurmorrgans @the-falling-in-the-danger @iconicc @mangoberry43 @andreasworlsboring101 @mac99martin @itsalwaysb33nyou @baumarvel @kerrswriting @messyhairday-me @ssworldofsw  @deagibs @crazyshannonigans @moonshinerbynight @jhiddles03 @teamhappyme @mendesmelodies @starsandasteroids @unicorn-bitch @ambicaos @bispences @thebivirgin

[nincompoopydoo]

PINING, BAGELS, REPEAT.

— WHEN THE DRINKING'S DONE ; PART 6 / ?

( gif from this gifset by @jascontodd )

PAIRING: Bruce Wayne x reader

WORD COUNT: 2.9k

SUMMARY: Sunday night dinner with your mother doesn’t go as planned when Bruce shows up unexpectedly at your door and you both know how your mother really loves him alot.

A/N: Slow and kinda long-winded chapter again haha. I used to be the kind of person who couldn’t write long stuff. Now look at me. Who is she??? Enjoy this one yall. Probably one or two more chapters to go, depends on how much I can write <3

WARNINGS: Swearing, alcohol. I write about what I feel and they are very real. So if you find these things triggering, please do not read this.

MASTERLIST ; MASTERPOST

Sunday night. You’re in an apron, flushed from the heat of the stove. You’ve just poured a glass of wine for your mother, but she doesn’t drink it—too busy walking around your apartment, clearing your stuff as she criticizes your lack of cleanliness and organization. Grading papers during exam season keeps you busy. Needless to say, you don’t have the time to clean your goddamn house.

You still love her anyway.

You’re at the sink, purple-stained fingers from peeling the tunic of the red onions are under running water when there is a knock on your door. It’s deafening, rapid, and agitating. You’ve just spilled boiling water onto your hand and you really don’t need another problem to come charging at your front door. Literally.

Moving out of the kitchen with haste, you call out over your shoulder to your mother to quit rearranging with bits and bobs of stationary and papers because yes, it’s messy but you know exactly where everything is. The knocking doesn’t cease, and your annoyance aggravates further. You’re gonna have to punch someone or something if it doesn’t stop.

You aggressively pushed the barrel of the bolt lock, swinging the door open as the strands of your wild hair flew backward in the sudden blow of air.

All forms of anger and agitation disappear as soon as your gaze meets the flushed face of none other than Bruce fucking Wayne, dressed in a grey dress vest, tie hanging loosely a pristine white shirt, and an ebony tweed overcoat. This feels like deja vu. Your expression goes through a series of mixed emotions, mostly confusion, when it morphed into a guise of embarrassment, cheeks even redder. “Don’t tell me I texted you by accident again?” He blinks, seemingly as bewildered as you are. “What? No, no. No. I—” His sentence is cut short when he takes a moment to catch his breath. Your brows are frowning even deeper than before. “Did you run here or something? And what are you doing here anyway?”

Bruce shifts in his stance, a palm against the door frame, shaking his head. He feels small under your interrogative stare. “No, I came here to see you…” he trails off, eyes shamelessly skirting across your figure. He just now notices that it may be a bad time for him to turn up, and you’re hit with the realization you’re in a ratty apron, very red and very sweaty. You’re right. It is deja vu because why are you always a mess when Bruce shows up at your front door unannounced? You abruptly pull the apron over your head, hurling it behind the door, hands palming the frizz of your hair into a somewhat presentable look.

“Look, I need to talk you—”

“Honey! Who’s at the door?” He’s being cut off mid-sentence again. This time, by your mother’s voice from the living room. Your eyes are wide again—so are his.

Your mother’s fondness for Bruce is an understatement. Obsession is a better word. She had only met him once, and that was six years ago but the conceptualization of being somewhat related to an exceptionally handsome and successful man had gotten to her head all those years ago. Hell, she loves him more than she loves you. Your mother—A woman who wishes to call your best friend ‘son’ with a whole lot of love to give. If she discovers Bruce is here, at your doorstep, she will never let go. Never. And you both know it. There’s a silent understanding that travels between the two of you and the look you’re giving him tells only one thing—Run before it’s too late.

“Bruce Wayne as I live and breathe...”

Well, too late.

A small-statured lady stands on the farther side of the hallway, face lit up with sheer joy and excitement as if she had just won a lottery. She approaches him with arms open wide and soon, her hands are laid on his cheeks, examining the man’s face carefully. Bruce just stands there, stiff as a rock, unsure of how to regain his composure from all the adrenaline of wanting to see you now that he was in such close proximity to the woman who raised you. When it’s you, he tends to struggle with timing and it’s partly the reason he has never managed to act on his feelings for you. For the longest time, he has wanted to be more than friends or whatever the hell this was. He had been hesitant but now, he’s very sure.

Sometimes it feels like it's the right person but the wrong time. He doesn’t want it to be that way. He wants to make things right with you.

And there he was, being squished under the grasp of the lady that loves him very much.

He catches your gaze; you flash him a sympathetic smile as you mouth the word “sorry.” Bruce arches his brows, indicating he has no idea what to do or how to get out of this situation.

“You’ve grown so much since the last time I saw you!” the older woman exclaims, a hand now firmly on his shoulder, the other brushing away his long strands of hair from his face with affection. Bruce would never admit it; he likes the attention your mother gives to him—the touch of a mother. Something he longs for.

“Why don’t you come in and join us for dinner? There's more than enough food.”

Crap, you should have known that question was bound to be mentioned. You’re not convinced that you will be able to suppress your emotional heartburn and the idea of Bruce tasting the dishes you’re cooking, it’s making your palms sweat. But what the hell. You shouldn’t be this nervous around him, you’ve known each other for years. He has seen you at your worst and vice versa.

Still, you’ll like to avoid the predicament of a dinner table set for you, your mother, and the man you secretly love. You’re quick with an answer. “Oh, I’m sure he has other important things to do. Bruce is very busy—”

“I’ll be happy to. I have no plans for tonight after all.”

You stare at Bruce, eyes glimmering with shock and betrayal—he is supposed to be on your side. He simply sends you a swift wink, and you feel the growing and most likely apparent deep red of your already flushed cheeks. You glance away to face your mother, eye crinkling in hopes of concealing the effect he has on you. Well, at least your mother looks fucking overjoyed. Maybe the night won’t end in disappointment.

-

The scent of chicken and spice whiffs through the air from the dishes of chicken and chorizo paella you’ve managed to whip up in a quick thirty minutes—a recipe you came by in an article titled “Fancy dishes for lazy cooks.” Well, it’s certainly working; everyone looks pleasantly surprised when you emerge from the kitchen with a cast-iron skillet within your kitchen gloved-grasp.

Happiness is the sound of the clinking of cutlery against nearly empty smeared plates, the splash of wine cascading from the bottle you held into the glasses of your guests, and the occasional laughter that erupts from your mother as Bruce tries to make a joke through mouthfuls of paella. A symphony of contentment and comfort, composed and orchestrated by the two most significant individuals in your life. Beauty is made anywhere beautiful people are; in this space, cramped up at the beech wooden table made for one by the casement window that overlooks the apartment across yours.

This side of Bruce—where boyish smiles were manifested and hearty laughs arising from the belly—is the side you miss the most. Years ago, things felt simpler though your past self would deny that notion as human life continues to become more intricate as we grow older and our eyes see more. Innocence to maturity. Happiness to grief. But, the complexity of this warfare between the brain and the heart seems to reside in perpetual darkness, no light at the end of the tunnel. For a long time, you thought deciding to be alone could eventually bring peace to the madness but maybe, you’ve been with the wrong people this whole time. It’s your reflection against the window pane that shows the evident crinkle in your eyes and the constant upward in the curve of your lips even though it contrasts the gloomy hues of blue from the sky at twilight—you’re happy.

It’s the way your mother leans over and wipes off the bits of rice from the corner of your mouth and the exchange of awkward smiles when Bruce accidentally brushes his hand against yours when reaching for the fork. This is what you want. And maybe, just maybe, you deserve to not be alone.

“So, have you decided on who you’re taking to the wedding?”

Your mother’s voice hauls you back from your daydream. She gives you a knowing look, discretely glancing towards Bruce on the other end of the table. She knows you don’t have a date, and you know she wants you to bring Bruce. You feel your anxiety creep back in.

This is weirdly the second time you’re in this situation.

“I don’t know yet...” In times like this, you wonder if your mother wields some sort of magical ability of truth or something because no matter how much you try, you can never lie to her. And now, you wish the ground would collapse and swallow you up. You know she means well, but oh my God, Bruce is staring at you and you don’t know what to do with your hands anymore.

“Wedding?” Bruce chirps with a questioning brow as he glances between you and your mother. Now, you’re forced to explain for the sake of context. “My cousin’s getting married next week and mom here wants me to bring a date.” Your mother’s expression indicates that you’re lying through your teeth. Yet in reality, it’s not technically a lie if you’re leaving parts of reason out of the explanation because it’s true she wants you to bring a date but you don’t mention how you don’t want to go alone because weddings make you sad.

It sounds pathetic.

Bruce just nods, taking a sip of his wine. The fact he’s not saying anything is making you anxious. You thought you didn’t want him to be your date but now, maybe you do. These feelings are messing up your brain. It’s just mush now, and there’s no cure.

These are the times you want to say “Fuck you, Bruce” but in the nicest way possible.

“Why don’t you bring Bruce?”

She was direct as they come but is mostly tired of your lack of initiative and doubt. I mean, it’s not like you’re asking him to marry you, right? And honestly, you’re kind of relieved you didn’t have to be one to do it but you can’t keep depending on her to do all the heavy lifting for you. You’re not a teenager anymore. You’re a goddamn grown adult.

Nevertheless, you peer at his reaction to this from the corner of your eye, fully expecting some sort of a resting jaded expression or eyes wide in horror but he’s just looking at you...with that look—highly bewildered and almost seems to be entertained by your embarrassment. Despite the purse of his lips, you manage to catch sight of the slight impish tuck of his lips.

He thinks it's the wine, but he isn’t exactly sure.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

-

“Are you sure about this?” you cross your arms, as you watch Bruce shrug on his coat from the rack. The two of you are squeezed in the entryway of your apartment, huddling in hushed conversation. “About what?” he asks absentmindedly when in reality, he knows exactly what you’re referring to. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, it’s an excuse to be around you longer. You purse your lips, shifting in your stance, eyes flickering away from his gaze. “About coming to the wedding,” you say it slowly, carefully, like you’re afraid to and you’re not sure why. He nods with the furrow of his brows, tugging his hands into the pockets of his ebony tweed coat. “I’m sure...Unless you don’t want me to come—”

“No, no. God, of course, I want you to come,” you stop, realizing how your sudden outburst of excitement must have made you seem desperate. You clear your throat, feet shifting once more. “I don’t want to pull you off work just because I don’t want to be alone.”

He raises his brows, nearing a little closer to you. “So that’s the real reason?” A hint of a smile—it’s a teasing one. You simply throw a fist to his arm yet unable to stifle your growing smile. “Don’t be a jerk.”

Bruce winces followed by a laugh that comes out more light a puff of air as he bares his palms in a gesture of surrender. “Hey, I didn’t say anything.”

Maybe, it’s the walls of this hallway, covered with hung framed photographs of family, childhood, and friends because it’s starting to feel warm. You think it’s the way his eyes light up when you laugh, radiating a sort of comforting warmth on this cold night. It feels like home. Bruce feels like home. You notice the prominent stain of your mother’s lipstick on his left cheek. You bring one hand to rest on the curve of his cheekbone, thumb trying to efface the smeared stain away.

You’re not sure if it's the smell of his deodorant or the sudden sense of his breath on your skin that made you comprehend the closing gap between your face and his. In an instant, your hand jerks away and returns to your side, clenching to a fist. Bruce clears his throat, bringing a hand up to scratch the growing stubble at his jaw. The touch of your fingers lingers like a burn.

Recognizing the tension in the air, you decide to avert your thoughts back to the conversation you were having in the first place. “You know, you don’t have to come. Really. You’ve done a lot for me, and you know that.”

“Yes...but I’ll always have your back no matter what.”

He smiles at you. The kind that reaches his eyes. He looks younger like this.

“And I’ll always have yours, Bruce.”

You’re an idiot. He’s an idiot. You’re just two idiots, standing in the hallway with hearts that feel like they’re about to explode. Despite the lingering tension in the air that’s still present, you bring him into an embrace. It feels natural, your arms around his shoulder and his on the small of your back. “Thanks for everything. Especially for making my mom really happy.” you punctuate your sentence with a gentle caress to the back where his shoulders meet. You hear the muffled sound of his laugh, feeling the rumble of his chest against yours as you try not to squirm at the brush of his unshaven chin against the curve of your neck. “No problem,” he mumbles before pulling away.

“And you need a shave.” You’re pointing to his chin and he finds himself scratching it again. He merely hums in response.

Swinging the door open while you wave him goodbye feels like a part of you is leaving. You’re not sure why you’re feeling this newly found emptiness in you when you know you’ll see him next week. You decide to blame the wine. It’s easier that way.

He’s walking away, already out of view when you decide you should really say something at least.

“Bruce,” you suddenly call out; he turns on his heels and backtracks a little too eager to face you at the doorway. “What was it you wanted to talk about?” He frowns in response, head tilting in a questioning manner. “When you came here, you said you needed to talk.”

He recalls the real reason he was here in the first place. Rushing to your door like you’re about to disappear any minute. Yet, you’re here, still at the doorway, three hours later. Fuck, he was about to confess.

Bad timing. Again.

Right person, wrong time.

No. He’ll make it right. Just, not now.

“I was...going to thank you for the bagels; Asiago. Nice choice.” Is what he says instead of reciting the words that had been running through his head in rehearsal since the drive to your apartment. He ignores the way your shoulders sag, perhaps in relief—he doesn’t want to know. He ignores the burning in his chest when you nod, the corners of your mouth tugging into a faint smile as you raise a palm in a somewhat solemn wave of farewell. He ignores the sting in his eyes when the door closes on him, symbolizing finality when he really doesn’t want it to end. Left alone in the dismal light of the hallway; it acts as a poignant reminder of his bereavement and how much of his consolation depends on your presence.

When the drinking's done, does it make it any easier for him to open himself up to you?

Bruce allows himself to cry once he pulls the car door to a close because he feels overwhelmed by the conflicting thoughts that continue to reside in his mind. The regrets, the what-ifs, and the should-haves. He forgets himself sometimes because he gets so lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t recognize himself anymore.

You keep him grounded. You remind him who Bruce Wayne truly is.

He catches a glimpse of his reflection in the rearview mirror.

You’re right. He does need a shave.

TAGLIST:

@raineeace

[golbrocklovely]

cake tasting // colby brock

A/N: so this isn't a request, but i saw this tweet that talked about two ppl who were friends going into a bakery and trying wedding cake, and i just knew i had to write something based off of it. i could only imagine how cute it would be to go and do this with colby, omg. anyway sorry i haven't update anything else yet. i haven't been extremely motivated, but i'm gonna try to write thru out the week and hopefully get something else out to yall soon :) lmk what you think of this. hope you enjoy !!

prompt: you and colby go to a bakery and pretend to be engaged to try wedding cakes. you have a crush on him, but he doesn’t have one on you. or does he…? cuteness ensues.

trigger warning: PURE FLUFF BB, sickeningly sweet

word count: 1535

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"Are you sure we should do this?" Colby asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

I rolled my eyes at his nervousness. "Of course! I've done this before."

"How often do you do this?" He snorted, turning to look at me for a moment.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Occasionally. Mostly when I'm really in the mood for cake but don't know which type I want."

"I just feel bad about it. I feel like I'm stealing." Colby bit his lip uncomfortably.

"Well, I usually end up leaving a nice tip and buying some cupcakes, so it at least seems like I was interested." I replied.

"Wait, how are we gonna pass as a couple?" Colby doubted.

"Did you think I came unprepared?" I lifted my hand to show a big 'engagement' ring.

Colby gasped dramatically. "Jesus, you're gonna make them think I'm made of money with that."

I laughed. "Lucky for you it's fake, much like our impending marriage."

"Whatever you say, Mrs. Brock." He snickered.

We pulled into the parking lot next to our destination, Casey's Bakery. I slid out of my seat and followed Colby. When we got to the front door, Colby opened it for me. With a light bell ring, the immediate smell of baked goods hit me as I stepped inside. I crossed my arm through Colby's, walking up to the counter. A white haired, older woman stood behind the counter, her back to us. She spun around, a sweet smile coming to her face.

“Hello! I'm Casey, welcome to my bakery. What can I do for you two today?” She greeted.

I grinned back happily. “Hi! We were wondering if maybe we could try some samples of your cakes? My fiancé and I are planning our wedding, and we thought we might as well try some cake while we're out.”

“Oh! Is this the fiancé?” Casey guessed.

I nodded lightly. “Yes.”

“That's wonderful, congratulations!” She beamed. “What are your names?”

“I'm Colby, and this is Y/N.” Colby chimed in.

“You two look so young. How old are you?” Casey questioned.

“We're both 23.” I admitted.

“Oh, you're babies! Okay, is there any type of cake you're thinking about for the wedding?” She inquired.

I pursed my lips. “Um... no, not really. The wedding is still a long ways away.”

“When is it?” She asked.

“Ahh, next year... sometime in September. No final date just yet.” I stuttered. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Colby nod.

“Oooh, a fall wedding. Might I suggest trying the carrot cake first then? That's usually our most popular for fall weddings.” Casey informed.

“That sounds great. We'll try that first.” I agreed.

“Goodie. You guys can go take a seat, and I'll be right out with your cake.” She mentioned, smiling.

I returned the smile. “Thank you so much.”

As Casey rushed off to the back, I sat down at the closest table. I finally realized, looking around, that no one else was in the bakery but us.

“How did you come up with that?” Colby queried, surprised.

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“The date of our 'wedding'?” He responded.

“I'm good on my feet, what can I say?” I explained smugly.

He shook his head, and then glanced around. “I feel bad. There's no one here.”

“Don't worry. I plan on buying those over there.” I pointed at the cupcakes in the display.

“They do look really good.” He noted.

“And it smells like heaven in here.” I borderline moaned.

Colby cleared his throat, moving in closer to the table. “So... where would you want to get to married, if you could choose?”

“I don't know. Probably on the beach,” I answered. “I've always dreamed of getting married on the beach.”

“That sounds nice. Have you thought about your wedding, like all the little details and whatnot?” Colby gushed brightly.

I cocked my head to the side, almost laughing at him.

“What? Isn't that something most girls do?” He argued jokingly.

“First off, not every girl dreams about their wedding.” I scoffed. “But secondly, yes I have.”

“Who'd you get married to?” He questioned abruptly.

I choked. “Um-”

Casey busted in, cutting me off. “Okay! Sorry about that. I figured I might as well bring out some other samples besides the carrot cake.”

She placed four plates down in front of us. Each had two little sections of cake on it. There was carrot, vanilla, chocolate, and red velvet. I could feel my mouth water as she placed two forks down.

“So, for any cakes that we do make, we can obviously do any form of icing. But traditionally, red velvet and carrot always have cream cheese icing. I do my own little spin on both, of course.” She babbled, giggling. “And then for the vanilla, I did vanilla icing. And the chocolate has chocolate icing as well. Go ahead and dig in.”

I grabbed a fork and sliced a piece of the carrot cake. I took my bite slowly, enjoying the sweetness of the icing, with a hint of cinnamon. I glanced up at Colby as he did the same, his eyes landing on me with a hidden smile.

“This is really good. And I don't usually like carrot cake. But this... so good.” Colby spoke, covering his mouth.

“That's great to hear. And what about you, Y/N?” Casey turned to me.

I praised. “Delicious. I love carrot cake, so this hits the spot.”

“I'm happy you enjoy it. I love a good carrot cake myself,” She confessed. “So, where are you guys planning to get married?”

“In Santa Monica. On the beach.” Colby stated.

My eyes widened, staring at Colby quickly. He gazed over at me, a smirk on his lips.

“A fall wedding on the beach?” Casey puzzled.

“Yeah. It's never really fall here anyway.” Colby commented.

“That is very true,” Casey chuckled. “A beach wedding, huh? That's so fun. What colors?”

“Red and white. And with some black thrown in. For him.” I teased.

“Aww, thanks babe.” Colby winked.

I felt my heart skip a beat for a second. I tried to brush off the butterflies in my stomach as hunger pains.

Casey sang. “You two are adorable! Now, try the vanilla cake. It's our top seller.”

After trying the rest of the cakes, Colby excused himself to go to the restroom. Casey sat down in Colby's seat, scooching in.

“Now I have to ask, how long have you two been together?” She inquired.

“Four years,” I lied. “Basically as long as I've known him.”

“You two already act like an old married couple. I can see how much he cares about you.” She disclosed.

I squeaked. “Really?”

“Oh yeah. It's so noticeable,” She swatted her hand lightly. “He's smitten, and I can see why. You are so sweet to him, and he just can't get enough. It's all in his eyes.”

Casey stood up and slowly cleaned up the plates, as I sat there in silence.

Was Colby really that into me?

Maybe she was lying. But something about her words stuck with me.

I’ve always had a small crush on Colby, ever since I met him. And everyone in our friend group knew about it. I always chalked up my feelings to me just being lonely and him always being there for me. But maybe there was something more in how I felt for him. The idea of marrying Colby didn’t seem bad at all. If anything, it was something I could see maybe happening. I mean, we were really close. And our friends always joked about us being a couple. Maybe they weren't jokes after all.

But does he even like me like that?

“Did you order the cupcakes, Y/N?” Colby’s voice broke my thoughts.

I stared up at him, stumbling. “Hmm? What? I-uh, no. I didn't.”

Colby’s dimples appeared as he chuckled at the fumbling of my words. “Okay. I'm gonna go order them then.”

I nodded, slowly standing up and grabbing my purse. I walked over to him, watching him pay for the cupcakes.

“Well, when you're ready to place an order for your cake, you let me know.” Casey addressed, handing Colby a business card and the cupcakes.

Colby assured. “Of course, Casey. Thank you so much for the samples.”

“And thank you for being such a fine gentleman. You take good care of Y/N, you hear?” She patted the counter near me.

He laughed softly, the both of us beginning to leave. “Absolutely. Have a nice day.”

“Same to you. Goodbye, my little love birds!” Casey waved.

We walked out of the bakery and back onto the busy street. Everything felt strange around me, like I just woke up from a dream.

Back to reality, I guess.

“She was... fun.” I remarked happily.

“Yeah, definitely.” He smiled, getting into his car. “I know what bakery I'm coming to if I do get married.”

I sat down, putting the cupcakes on the floor next to my feet. “We'll have to do this again sometime.”

Colby turned to me, his eyes snaking up my body and finally stopping on my face with a click of his tongue.

“Whatever you say, Mrs. Brock.”

[crazy-bi-btch]

Exploring ( Sweet Pea X Reader)

Summary: Sweet Pea and Y/n have a dirty secret that can lead to trouble.

Paring: Sweet Pea X Reader

Warning: NSFW, MA, smutttt like alottt, light BDSM

Word count: 5k

A/N: Okay  so this was a request from a long time ago and i like how it started so I want to make a second part to it! Hope yall like it!

-Present time-

“ We need to talk!” Cheryl grabbed my arm, pulling me into the nearest empty classroom. I flinched as she pressed on the fresh bruise. Her eyes widened, “ Take the jacket off!”

I sneered, “ Damn, Cheryl— don’t think Toni would like that.” She glared at me and I caved in. That's it. Our secret will be brought out by Ms. Cheryl blossom. I told Sweet Pea, not to leave a noticeable mark. But of course, this is Sweat Pea I’m talking about. Shit. I annoyingly took my serpent coat off and Cheryl’s eyes widened and a small gasp left the poor girl.

Now how the hell do I tell her that the serpent that is the most trouble in the gang is secretly fucking me behind everyone’s back.

“ Jesus! Y/n What the actual—” 

“ I can explain.” I rush over to her to coax her from making a big fuss. She was furious. I mean she’s the biggest feminist I know beside Betty and Veronica.

“ Did the ghoulies do this to you! WHO DID THIS! IS THIS THE BOY—” I clamped my hand over her loud ass mouth. 

“Shhh!” She mumbled under my mouth and rolled her eyes crossing her arms. 

“ No one beat me up! It’s this boy—”

“Is he hurting you because I can send some serpents, his way!” She practically stomped, her frown very visible. I sheepishly remembered every single bruise and mark and how they were made.

“ It’s...a sex...thing” I mumbled avoiding her glare, she clearly couldn’t hear me.

“Huh?” Her arms crossed and an annoyed face pressuring me to spill my truth.

“ God dammit Cheryl I’m having kinky sex..” I whisper-shouted, a blush invading me as I heard myself admit it. 

She looked like she was about to faint. “ That-” she pointed wide-eyed, I nodded, pulling the coat over my bruised arms. She turned around, rubbing her temples.

“ With who? And what the hell is wrong with you! It looks so-” I cocked my eyebrow at her

“Painful?” 

“ YES!” She exclaimed concerned, I giggled softly.

“ Don’t kink shame me Cheryl Blossom because I know damn well you and Toni go all 50 shades of gray.” She blushed but was ready to counterattack like always.

“ But I don’t bruise her— visibly!” She pointed out again, I sighed and hugged her.

“ Look, I know you’re concerned… but I’m fine... We have a safeword and it's fun!” I reassured her as she hugged back.

“ Okay… I trust you! But I don’t know about him. Who is he?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows at me. I smirked at her. 

“ That’s a secret I’ll never tell..” I giggled and ran out the classroom, but not before hearing her classic  groan of annoyance.

-48 hours before-

Saturday. It was finally here! Your phone rang, waking you up from your deep slumber.

“Fuckkk…” I groaned, half asleep as I blindly looked for my annoying phone.” Hello.”

“Hey.” My stomach flipped and my eyes shot open. Sweet Pea.

“ Hey.” I smiled softly as his voice gave me the energy and brightness enough for the day. Then I realized, today is our ‘appointment’.

“ Just decided to call you and let you know I’m excited for today.” The smirk in his voice is practically oozing. I rolled my eyes playfully.

“ Oh really? What is so special today?” I acted coy with a hint of playfulness, his demeanor fell as his voice cracked. 

“ Don’t play with me y/n.” He hissed softly into the phone, it sent a shock straight to my core. I bit my lip. 

“ Sorry Pea...I can’t meet with you today. I have another meeting with someone else tonight.” I teased, laying back into my pillows like a cliche teenage girl in a teen-drama movie.

He groaned, clearly angry, “ Who the fuck….— In a minute Fangs! I swear to god y/n if your fucking someone else.”

“ Yeah I am….and he takes very good care of me… he’s my daddy..” I edged him even more, the game suddenly starting now. The small sigh and chuckle that he released gave my heart a kick. He was jealous.

“ He sure does huh?” He teased  his voice suddenly deeper and lower. “ I have a surprise for you tonight. More like a gift.” Then the background noise became more noticeable.

“ Oh really?” I questioned—suddenly curious,  he then changed the subject signaling Fangs and the others were around.

“ Yes, Doug, 6:00pm I know! You and your stupid stash. See you then.” Sweet Pea gloated with laughs of the boys echoing through,” You better pay up a little more than last time.” The last part was definitely for me. Then he hung up. 

I squealed in excitement as I tossed and turned in bed. It sucked being friends with benefits, in secret may I add. It’s extremely hard and exhausting, but we knew that. We both found that in sex we weren’t getting what we wanted. We weren’t fulfilled. So on a drunk night as we were the last up in the trailer as everyone else was passed out drunk. We played a stupid game.

Flashback

“ Never have I ever faked an orgasm.” Sweet Pea slurred, laughing at nothing, barely able to sit still. 

“ Shhh! Be quiet! Umm… Yes I have!” I stifled a giggle as my finger fell from the rest that were propped up.

“Ohh I want to know!” He teased taking another swing of his beer. I pretended to zip my mouth and throw the key making us laugh.

“ My turn, Never have I ever wanted to try something new in bed.” I giggled like a 13 year old as I slurred it out. Pea shrugged and put his finger down. I exaggerated a gasp pointing at his finger.

“ Sweet Pea is kinky!” I laughed but shushed myself.(Very drunk may I add) “ Me too!” I exclaimed. And we both fell silent as we both stared at our 3 fingers remaining up.

“Never Have I ever wanted to be tied up during sex.” His voice serious and dark. And I was suddenly quiet. 2 fingers were left.

“ Never have I ever wanted her to call me daddy.” I sighed out, praying for him to drop a finger. If not then that would be embarrassing. But his finger fell.

“Never Have I ever wanted to be choked.” His signature smirk came out as he realized his power over me now. I was left with one finger. I gulped.

“ Never Have I ever wanted to fuck my bestfriend.” I croaked out, both of our expressions falling. His finger fell. “ We’re tied.” I sighed as I stared at his lips. He gulped and put his hand down, ending the game. Our eyes say everything. We wanted this….bad. 

In an instant we both crawled toward each other meeting in a fiery kiss, breaking the innocent friendship we had and entering a whole new dimension. 

End flashback

We snuck around, doing all of our deepest fantasies. We were exploring our sexual fantasies. BDSM, nothing bad with that right? Except that it was ruining our friendships around us. We were lying to them. Making them believe we have suddenly become enemies. That we couldn’t stand each other in public, at times hurting each other's feelings.

My trailer was farther to the sides from our friends trailer which made it easy for Sweet Pea to come to me. Plus, I had to put soundproof padding in my trailer room, my excuse for when friends came over. “I’m working on my singing career from home.” They believed it. 

Boys were too afraid to hurt me, or not be hard enough. But Sweet Pea… He lived for that. We fit perfectly. 

I finally decided all that overthinking and reminiscing was not gonna keep me as excited. Unless, I looked for the old iphone in my drawer where we kept our...videos. We filmed moments but only on this old phone and it NEVER leaves my drawer. We vowed it was for us but mostly for me when things happen and we can’t meet up.

I logged into it, opening the photos and started looking through all the different videos. One was that one time on Valentine’s day when he got me a new toy. It was cute and simple, but the ribbon that tied the box was long enough for my wrist to tied together also. That night was rough, safeword was used once because he didn’t let me come for the 4th time! The way he degraded and fucked my on camera seemed to always trigger those vivid memories for moments like these.

Just as I was about to pull my pants down and ease my ache, my phone dang—cutting my mood. 

SP: Red or Blue?

That was a strange message.

Y/n: Red? Why

SP: you’ll find out ;)

Okay now this was gonna kill me! 

I went on with my day cleaning the trailer, taking a shower and shaving, taking my birth control (Sweet pea pays for it and also plan B for just-in-case moments) and finishing any homework I know I will not do tomorrow because I will be too sore to do. It was 4pm and I was feeling bored out of my mind. Usually he comes earlier so we can actually do friend stuff like hang out and watch a movie but today was different. I decided to change into a cute red lace set since he did ask what color I wanted. I did light makeup and curled my hair. 

“ Damn, I look fuckable ass fuck.” I commented as I saw my reflection. Some light green on my thighs from the previous week slowly fading. A quick idea popped into my head.It would piss him off, but it would be good to let him know. I took my phone and texted.

Y/n: Wyd?

SP: Doing some serpent stuff, missing me already?

I scoffed at his cocking response.

Y/N: Maybe… Anyone around you??

SP: No...I’m in the truck waiting for them? Why?

 I jumped up in excitement and positioned myself by the mirror in the perfect angle to get a glance at everything pretty much. He’s gonna be furious… but I won’t mind. I made sure to send them quickly. Sitting down in anticipation.

Sweet Pea stared at his phone after not getting a response, it made him a little suspicious and antsy for the boys to hurry from the daily drop off service. But when he saw two pictures pop out, his vein by his temple was practically about to pop. She knew the risks. What if he wasn’t alone? They would have seen! And bam no more sex. He locked his phone and honked 4 times and the boys came running out ready to leave.

“ Yoooo Sweet’s what's the rush!” Fangs and the other laughed, he sternly glared at them.

“ I got shit to handle so can we go!” Fangs nodded but stifled a laugh as they drove away.

He didn’t respond! What the hell. He may be too busy. I decided to wear an oversized shirt and walk to the living room where I watched Friends pass the time. Then my phone rang. It was Sweet Pea.

SP: You're in trouble.

My heart raced, I got up and ran to the room making sure to get everything out, lube, handcuffs, ribbon. I sat on the bed leg shaking slightly. Then I heard the familiar steps that led up to my trailer door. His spare key twisted into the lock. Just in time. The butterflies in my stomach flutter all the way down to my thighs and core. He came in taking his boots and coat off. His footsteps coming towards the room. And I froze putting the best puppy eye dog eyes that would not save me. His face was serious, leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed. 

“ Hi.” I sheepishly spoke. I took a deep breath.

“ You know what you did was risky, right?” He barked, I got up making my way towards him, but he backed up slightly. 

“ I’m sorry.. I thought since you said you were alone...I missed you.” I crossed my arms defeated and looked down at the floor. Maybe what I did was out of line. Fuck this isn’t a relationship where you can send nudes Y/n! These were dick appointments, that's it!

I sighed defeated, “ If you wanna reschedule that’s fine… It was out of line—” I turned away from him only to be yanked up against him.

 His hot breath fanning against mine, a bruising hold on both my arms.” Why would I pass up the opportunity to punish you.” Just like that, I was putty in his hands. Like always. He made sure to forcefully take the oversized shirt off throwing it somewhere, to reveal what the photos told him. He watched as I stood flustered, shocked, and blush red. His hot gaze is enough to get me going. He sat at the edge of my bed and pulled out a small box from his leather jacket. It was black. He signed for me to get closer so I did. I towered over him slightly as he handed the box a smirk on his face. I eyed the box suspiciously.

“ Open it.” He urged so I did. My mouth fell open slightly. It was a red butt plug. What the fuck. I looked at him dead in the eyes.

“ I know you said you weren’t ready for anal...but I thought this would help ease us in. Literally.” he chuckled darkly. I was speechless. It was hot, and uncomfortable to think that it would end up...there. I sighed shakily. He caught on to my nervousness.

“ Remember at any time you can stop me.” He reassured, making me smile softly. Besides the sex, he always was my friend never pushing me to do anything I didn’t want. I nodded and took it and placed it by the nightstand where the lube and other stuff were. I walked back easing my way to straddle his lap and take his leather jacket off. Our gaze is soft and friendly for now.

“ I’m sorry again you know.” I sighed my hands working on any knots in his shoulders, his eyes fluttered shut as he relaxed under her. Deep down Sweet pea would be a sub for her if it meant it started with massages. 

“ It's fine.” He sighed, seeing him vulnerable for a brief moment made me ache and even more wet than I was. I pushed my body fully up against his, arms draping around his neck. His eye opened to meet my dark ones. My hips grounded down on him, “ I’m ready.” I sighed, that was enough for Pea to grab her hips forcefully gripping them down to make her feel the hard-on she caused. 

“ You made me hard in the fucking truck,” He made one of his arm free to hold her chin forcefully to make her stare at him while he spoke. Y/N yelled softly as she tried to keep her eyes from rolling back as he rutted his hips towards her. “ I couldn’t get out of the truck, I had to drop them off.” 

“ That was the plan daddy.” I moaned, making him growl in frustration. He pushed me off him, hand in my hair as he yanked me to the mirror where I took the pictures. It was a long full body mirror by my bed. His body flush against my back, one arm still in my hair and the other racking his ringed up fingers against my skin. 

“ You’re gonna look at yourself, and learn why you don’t tease me.” His lips on my neck as his finger roughly yanks the lace bra cup down, making me squeal. The electric feeling as his cold finger massaged my breast made me dizzy.

“ Pea…” I sighed rolling my eyes back, head limp against his shoulder. His grip on my hair wakes me from my bliss.

“ Look!” He barked, making my goosebumps jump out, his neck went back to work. His arm slowly going back but skimming down to where I needed him the most. I knew he wasn’t going to give it to me that easy. “ Please...Daddy” I whimpered as he barely grazed the skin on my thighs. He bit harder on my neck as he pushed his leg between my thighs, hand dipping into my core. I let out a shaky gasp as he went straight for my clit.

“Fuck.” I gasped watching as his fingers teasingly moved circles around it. My hand reached to cover his for support, for once he didn’t intervene.  And the other reached to his hard on that was covered but prominent against me. Pea couldn’t help but let her touch him, he watched as her hooded eyes watched as he slowly touched her. But the moment her hand gripped his hand he yanked it away and tsked her. He walked away from her taking his shirt off.

I stood stunned and breathless, the ache only growing by the minute. I turned around and followed him by removing the rest of the bra. And pried at his muscular back. Kissing it softly wrapping my arms around him.

“ You just don’t know when to keep your hands to yourself now.” The ribbon in his hands as he turned around. Fuck. With one shove I was on the bed with Pea crawling up to tie my wrists together above my head. 

“ C’mon Pea…” I whined as my hips bucked towards him for any friction, fuck was it painful. He smirked down at me.

“ You  know that's not how it works right?” I groaned in annoyance. His face came down close to hers as his hands wrapped around her thighs and as pulling her flush against him again. 

“ Pea kiss me or so help me—” His mouth was instantly on mine, nothing fluff about it. open , hot kisses as my hips wildly looked for him. His hand suddenly smacked my ass leaving a deep red print.

“ Shit-” I cried against him, his mouth moving against my jaw, his tongue leaving a hot trail down to the valley of my bare breasts. I resisted against the restraints as his ringed fingers and mouth attacked my breast.

“ Your squirming even before I touch you, you're so needy.” He laughed against my skin. I blushed madly arching my back towards him.” Answer.” He hissed, as his hand rubbed hard and rough circles against my clit. I bit my lip trying to talk.

“ Yes..ugh...Daddy..fuckkk” I moaned loudly as his pattern quickened and his finger flicked my nipple. The overstimulation nearly brought me to the edge, he watched me from above how breathlessly I squirmed, threw my head back and clamped my thighs around him. Just as I felt the brink, he pulled away. I whimpered out in pain, feeling empty again. Sweet Pea made sure to leave any mark all over her body avoiding her whimpers and cries for his actions. His fingers plunging into her abruptly, at a vicious pace that made her scream. He made sure to stare right at her as she exchanged glances to his actions and his wicked smile. “ You want hard, rough? That’s what you want right?” he spat gritting his teeth as he felt her wall clench and contract against his fingers.

“ Oh my goddd…. YES!” I screamed staring deep into his evil eyes, “ Daddy harder please!” My head thrashing back as I felt my legs convulse and shake. I wanted to come so bad, and the wet sounds that came out of me were not helping. My fingers were placed on the covers as they remain tied up above me. “ Not yet.” He whispered softly against the shell of my ear as he stopped again. I shivered as my body tried to recover from another withdrawal, eyes shut in pain as my clit throbbed from lack of release.” Please….Please.” Tears at the brim of my eyes, searching into his for a little bit of mercy. He only ignored me and turned me around chest into the mattress and ass up. The lube coming in contact with my asshole sending a jolt up my spine. At this point anything that would give me some pleasure was acceptable. Pea made sure to adjust my wrist and tie them again against my back, and my face on the mattress. He then kissed my head as the tip of the plug made contact with me. I hissed softly as he slowly pushed it in. Surprisingly, It wasn’t as bad as I thought. 

I sighed as I felt somewhat full as it sat in me. “ Damn baby.” He mumbled, I could practically picture his face. All flustered and vulnerable at her position and gleaming core. 

Not long after his hands held my tied arms in a tight grip as he grinned against me.” mhm.’” one hand constantly smacking my ass till my buttcheek felt numb. I really won’t be able to sit tomorrow. “ You're such a slut begging for me… for this… Can’t even wait till I get home.” He seethed as his rough jeans rubbed perfectly against me and the plug. 

I moaned loudly, “ Pea fuck me please! Anything I promise you anything but fuck me please!” I yelled in frustration as I tried wiggling my hips to get any extra friction. He grunted in defeat and practically sighed in relief as I heard his belt unbuckled and the bed suddenly becoming light behind me. I tried looking around to see him, but only his hand made sure to push me further into the mattress. “ You wanted this, so take it!” He roughly shoved himself into me with no warning, a loud gasp ripping through me followed by a choked moan. His size always felt like the first time, painful and blissful at the same time. “ FUCK!” Pea moaned as he steadied his hips as he made sure to feel that moment, being deep in her, ass up, red ribbon around her wrists like a present, shit it was perfect. He pulled out and back in bruisingly fast, hands back on her arms.

“ Shit shit shit!” I screamed out my eyes shut as he hit the right spot constantly but grazed the plug as he pulled out.

“ You look….so gorgeous right now fuck.” He grunted as Pea focused on not coming anytime soon but rather feeling every inch tighten around him. Just for him. Only making his grip on her arms terribly harder. The pain and pleasure as he bruisingly fucked her from behind only made her squeeze her eyes shut, her mouth wide as she felt the familiar knot about to explode. 

“ I’m going to cum! Holy shit please Pea let me cum pleaseee!” I begged as Pea made sure to rub hard and fast fingers against her clit. 

“ Come on baby, take it, squirt for me baby.” The profanities and the way his voice and body worked around her did just what he asked.

“ Shit shit shit!” I cried out as my legs shook and fluid leaked out around Pea’s finger.

“Fuck.” He growled and made sure to keep fucking her through her orgams, nearing her to the next one. 

I screeched softly and huffed as he kept his bruising pace, “ Pea oh my gawd Don’t stop! Fuck me!” Sweet Pea practically came then and their but pulled out to control himself. 

“ No, NO!” I cried as my wrist withered to pull him back. Pea shakily sighed, stroking himself softly. He watched as she squirmed and whimpered trying to be set loose. He untied her wrist sending a buzzing feeling of excitement through her as she propped herself only for a second. Pea made sure to pull her around by her hair. “ You really are prettier all tied up, huh.” He teased. 

I widened my eyes, “ No! Not again!” I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him into a kiss and flush against my hot skin. The feeling of his skin against her finger pads was heavenly. It was rare to be able to touch him, and when he let her, she loved it. Her mouth on his hungrily as her hips bucked against his hard on. Pea grunted against her mouth, his hands moving from her breast where he quickly pulled on her red nipples and down to her bruised hips. “ You won’t be able to walk for a week baby girl.” He whispered as he teasingly rubbed against my swollen nerve. A weak moan only for a response. He slipped in easily and then faster, digging his mouth onto my neck as I scratched his shoulders. “ Ohhh, Yes….Mmmm” I moaned wrapping my legs around his waist as he pounded so hard into me, practically into the mattress. 

Pea made sure to come up to see her face as she practically cried at her second painful release. Seeing her silently watch in awe as her eyes rolled back, it brought him to the edge.

“ Come on cum with me, Come on!” Pea yelled his chin forcing her to look at his furious face, only adding to her orgasm. Pea made sure to keep his pace as she yelled his name and tears ripped through her as she threw her head back. As she saw white, Pea went balls deep and stayed in as he came in her, his groans and moans muffled into her neck. She made sure that with the little bit of energy to wrap her fingers into his damp hair, easing him down from his own high. Pea made sure to pin her arms away from him, scaring her slightly at his abrupt move.

“ I’m not done with you.” He made his way down to her core, instantly going to her almost numb and in pain clit. 

I hissed as his lips and tongue wrapped around me. I didn’t have the strength to cum again, I almost wanted to call the safe word just for my sake to rest but the way Sweet Pea looked up at her, in between her thighs. Pea knew exactly how to make her cum and he wanted to see her cum underneath him all over again. “ Shit...Fuck.” My hands grabbed handfuls of the sheets as I rocked my hips against his hot mouth and tongue. 

To make matters worse, he purposely groaned and hummed against me, I never felt like cuming so fast in the times being with Pea. Each time he knew her better enough to get her on edge in seconds. His hand made sure to hold down painfully hard on her hips as she chanted his name.

“ Yes...Yes yes yes!” I back arched and watched in awe as his tongue did wonders, followed by his thumb that flicked and rubbed so hard I lost track of time. Pain ripped through my abdomen to my core, ready for a painful orgasm. It was so much. “ Pea! I can’t I-” I cried and sure enough my body cracked under him, fluid squirting out as tears fell out and high pitched moans echoed into the room. Pea pulled himself up to watch her tears stained cheeks, suddenly nervous it was too much. “Hey, Are you okay?” His soft voice made me crane my neck back to see his worried face, with a wet face may I add. I smiled weakly and wiped his cheek with my thumb. “ You are unbelievable Sweet Pea.” He smirked laying next to her as they both sighed. 

I was exhausted not wanting to move or speak. Just stare at the ceiling and acknowledge how great her body felt, for now. 

“ Wait I have to take something—” His hand pulling my ass to the side, “ Relax, I don’t wanna hurt you.” I scoffed but was cut short by the feeling of the plug coming out. I hissed softly and turned back around on my back.

“ I should get you a bath running before I leave.” Pea said as he kissed my semi wet cheek and got up to find his clothes. I watched as he pulled on his underwear and jeans and disappeared into the bathroom. I was smiling. At him. Here I was catching feelings over something we told ourselves was nothing serious. I pushed myself up to distract myself only to be extremely sore. I tried propping myself up to walk to the bathroom only to fall on my knees in pain. He really fucked me till I couldn't walk. I burst out laughing making Sweet Pea walk back into the room extremely confused. 

“ Come help me up weirdo!” He went over to pick her up but just ended up carrying her bridal style. He laughed as she groaned but laughed also. 

This was nice, their company and well the sex also. Sweet knew that it was temporary and he reminded himself that everyday. Deep down he was a romantic, and he knew his soulmate was out there. But for now he just wanted to explore himself a little more and who else to help than his best friend. He hated leaving her after, something in him told him to stay, but he was enough of a gentleman to know that staying would only send mixed signals and ruin everything. So he stuck to the plan.

“ Well, I’m gonna head out, and I’m sorry if I went overboard—” Pea flinched as he saw the bruises show up around my arms and legs, the water instantly healing some pain. I sighed sinking deeper into the tub. Pea kneeled next to me, waiting for some goodbye gesture. I looked at him smiling, “ It was great, plus I'll be fine...but,” I held his hand that rested on the side of the tub. “ Can you stay...to hang out?” I watched his reaction change from content to flustered. It’s insane that friendship intimacy was weird to us but seeing each other naked wasn’t. 

He coughed and looked at his clock, “ I don’t know—”

I patted his hand, “ Pea it’s fine, it was just and offer.” I casually played it off, waiting for his response even though it did hurt to see him turn me down. He stood up and sighed in defeat. “ How about this. I have to do some stuff to do with fangs for a night delivery, and if everything goes smoothly...I’ll crash with you.” He looked down at my surprised face. He chuckled at my silent response.

 “ Oh- Yeah sure! Sounds good.” I cooly said somehow suddenly interested in the bath water. 

“ Alright see you later!” I said before leaving entirely with the sound of the door closing, I sat in the water somehow happy but nervous that he easily accepted my offer. I giggled to myself, but was cut short by my sore body.

“ Fuck, this is more painful than my Serpent initiation trial.” I mumbled softly. 

Somehow I managed to get out of the bath, with wobbly legs, and into my soft pj pants and tank top. It was 8 pm, my eyes sleepy and my body tired. I laid in the wrinkled up bed, forgetting that someone would be coming back. 

[luque-moreau]

Dr. Loboto and psychosurgery

hey hey hey, its memphis here to bring all yall loboto stans some real sad news :^\

:trigger warning: ( discussion of lobotomy )

alright so even way before i got into psychonauts, ive always know a lot of the history behind odd things, like lobotomy. it wasnt until two seconds ago that i put two pieces of information together and had a brain explosion.

ok so let me explain how it works:

1935ish was when this lobotomy was "invented/discovered" (technically human psychosurgery was attempted in the late 1880s, but it wasnt defined as a lobotomy).

the basic idea was to cut the connections between the frontal big brain area from everything else. this is obviously a big no no nowadays, but this kind of stuff was still happening well into the 1950s.

the first methods of lobotomy required mallet to wack a sharp tool into the forehead, to insert a sharp instrument to basically wiggle jiggle back and forth until the doctor was satisfied (this is a prefrontal lobotomy i think, if im remembering correctly). it wasnt until some doctor whos name i cannot remember thought "hey, i wish i could do this faster so i could make more money and show off" (no joke). this is when the method of inserting a literal ice pick through the between area of the patients eyelid and eyeball, was created (transorbital lobotomy, i believe). he shortened the time of preforming a lobotomy to 10-15 minutes, making it an easier and less costly procedure.

now, heres the problem that arose with lobotomy, despite side effects. sometimes the lobotomy just.... wouldnt work. or it would, but only for a short period of time. so... follow up appointments were not uncommon for patients.

so that got me thinkin-

its obvious that loboto has the scars from some kind of brain surgery under his cap.

monstroboto's whole brain is exposed, which im not sure if thats just some kind if metaphor, but it doesnt seem like an efficient way to preform early-mid 1900s brain surgery:

but the real tell tale is the eyes.

hes doesnt have real eyes. he has robotic replacements.

we already know that loboto is still a psychic, he uses his powers in his mental world (time slowing thing), stomething we've never seen anyone like the asylum patients do (assuming theyre not psychics)

if lobotos name implies that lobotomy was the method used to "fix" his esper jazz, does that mean....

his parents probably had to send him back again and again and again because the lobotomies kept not working, and it being their only option, they had no other choice (maybe they could choose to not hate their son but eh).

that would mean that not only did he have to endure a hole being carved through his head, either put under anesthesia or in some case literally just electrocuted to the point of unconsciousness, but he probably did over and over and over again. and now the eyes. i told you they were important. since transorbital lobotomies went so quickly, any form if anesthesia was very very uncommon. so you'd be conscious the entire time. having to go through that again and again and again could have potentially gone wrong. mistakes were very very VERY common during lobotomies, shoving the pick only a smidge "too deep" could immediately kill a patient.

lets just say lobotos parents were ok with sacrificing his life, and specifically his sight, for him to be fixed. after so many procedures, he probably had a lot of damage to his eyes, thus making him have to get/make robotic eyes just so he could see clearly/at all.

i cant imagine lil calli having to back to the hospital/mental institute (asylums were the most common place of practice for lobotomies) again and again, knowing damn well what is about to happen, but him not being able to do anything about it, with the promise of if he does it enough, if he just goes one more time, if i this one is gonna be the one that finally fixes him, his mom and dad will finally love him again.

damn my brain is so goddamn big, and now ive made myself sad :^C

now you have to be sad with me, loser.

[jawritter]

Broken me...

Ch. 11 1/2.. LOL... The deleted chapter... Because tumblr hates me... 

Summery: The Dallas Convention couldn't have come at a worse time for Jensen. His world fell apart earlier that morning, but was expected to just act like everything was normal. You and a friend were at the convention for her birthday. Life hasn't been that great for you either, but a forced meeting on stage changes two worlds. Will you be able to put this broken man back together again...

Series Warings: Cheating, shitty marriage, Danneel is a bitch, I unfortunatly have to put that as a warning because some people tend to get turnt up about it if you don’t... Smut, Crying, Suiside Attempt, brief discription of suicide attempt and recovery, depression, hints of self loathing, language. I think that’s it... Suicide Trigger warnings will be placed over each chapter!

Chapter Warnings: ***SUICIDE ATTEMPT*** If this kind of thing bothers you!! This might trigger you!! Overdose, brief discription of medicial Intervention because of suicide attempt.. language, angst, this is overall a tough one yall..

Word Count: 2117

A/N: BINGE READ TIME!! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold!! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

****MASTERLIST****

Your POV:

Things had seemingly gone well at Jensen’s parents. His family all seemed nice enough. Jensen seemed to be enjoying himself as well. He acted like he didn’t want to leave, but the two of you were headed back to Austin for one more night before you both had to fly back to Vancouver for Jensen to start filming.

It was a roughly a three hour drive from Dallas to Austin. Depending on the traffic. Jensen’s upbeat mood he’d been in sense we got to Austin had seemed to be gone from the moment he got back behind the wheel of the car.

He was quiet on the ride home.

Which was a little unsettling.

You tried to shove it off…

‘He’s just tired. He will feel better in the morning.'

So you kept quiet. Giving him his space. Even though you couldn’t shake the feeling deep in the pit of your stomach that said something wasn’t right..

When you both finally walked back through the front door it was late, almost one in the morning, and you were so tired from the events of the day, meeting his family, to the six hour drive round trip, to your own worrying which you knew was probably senseless, that you just wanted to do nothing more than to fall face first into the bed..

“I’m gonna go grab a shower, and then I’m headed to bed.” You tell him, giving him a peck on the check. He smiled tiredly at you. Reaching over and grabbing your waist, pulling you between his long bowed legs as he made himself comfortable on the barstool in the kitchen..

“Okay, I’m gonna stay up a little bit. Wind down from the drive.” He said, placing his head against your stomach, holding on to you as if he let you as if it were the last time he’d ever have you in his arms again…

That seemed odd, but again you brushed it off…

“O… Okay..”

Jensen stands up, wrapping you in his arms, pulling you into a deep passionate kiss. Making your knees go weak. His grip on you a little tighter than it usually was..

“I love y/n.” He says when he finally breaks the kiss. A strange look in his eyes. Like something in him was…

Off…

Wrong…

Broken…

Missing…

Something that wasn’t there when you arrived in Austin just a few days ago, but you had noticed a hint of it at the dinner table today at his parents house….

“I love you too.” You tell him as he let go of you. “You okay?”

Jensen nodded his head and gave you a tight smile.

“Yeah baby I’m fine, go on to bed.”

Looking back over your shoulder as you walk away you yell back at him. “Don’t keep me waiting too long, handsome!"

You hear him chuckle lightly as you head quickly to your shower.

He was fine, surely you were just imagining things, making something out of nothing because you were tired… Or at least that’s what you kept telling yourself as you took your shower.. Your nerves seemed to be buzzing, and you couldn’t quite figure out why…

After your shower you changed into a pair of pj pants, and one of Jensen old shirts. Crawling into bed you laid there for a few minutes.

The house was quiet…

Jensen still hasn’t come to bed…

You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong…

That look, the way he was acting all the way home from Dallas. What he did when you got home…..

Panic rises in your chest like a growing storm…

You’d seen this type of behavior before…

How the hell did you miss it?

Throwing the covers off, and shooting out of the bed, run toward the kitchen where you left Jensen, heart pounding in your ears from panic.

You brother acted this way…The last time you saw him alive…

Right before he took his own life…

No one in your family knows why he did it. He never left a note, but he acted all overly happy two days before the night he left mom’s house. Drunk. Quite. Telling everyone he loved them….

He lost the battle with anxiety and depression that night…

You almost didn’t survive the funeral. The two of you were close. Still you never saw it coming. He never said anything. Depression is a silent killer. You learned that the hard way…

You search the entire bottom floor. Calling his name. He was nowhere to be found. You run out to the pool and backyard. He wasn’t there either. You run back into the house heading to the second floor. You see the light on in JJ’s room. You call his name, but get no answer….

Your heart is beating so fast you think it might explode as you approach the door…

With shaking hands you grab the nob, and open the door, looking around the room at first you think he’s not there either.

Walking around the bed you see a pair of boots and legs sprawled out in an awkward position on the floor. A whiskey bottle and two bottles of pills laying on the floor next to his feet…

………………………………………

Jensen’s POV:

Blackness…

Or at least that’s all that was left, until that annoying beeping started somewhere off in the distance, growing louder and louder with each passing minute..

He could hear voices off in the distance, but he couldn’t quite make out what they were saying..

Many times he’d acted out "his death”. Having played a character for years on TV that had not only died more times than most people could count, but had also gone to hell…Actually he  figured that’s where he’d find himself…

This…. He wasn’t sure what this was…

His throat felt like it had been ripped to pieces from the inside out. He was nauseas as hell. His whole body literally hurt. Every joint. Every muscle.

Maybe I was in hell…

He was afraid to open his eyes. Afraid of where he’d find himself…

The more he came to himself, it felt like someone was holding and rubbing his hand.

‘Y/n?’

‘She’s not dead, this isn’t right, something is wrong?’

Slowly things started coming back to him…

Flashes of what happened after he’d tried to end his own life…

You screaming…

Someone he couldn’t see trying to do CPR on him in what he assumed  was an ambulance…

Really bright lights and a searing pain in his chest as they tried to shock him back on an operating table…

A tub being rammed down his throat, pumping a thick black liquid into him… Then the same tub pulling out the contents of his stomach…

His entire body shaking uncontrollably…

People running around the table he was laying on yelling at each other… Trying to save him……

No this can’t be real. This had to be a nightmare……….

Slowly he opened his eyes for the first time in what was probably days. At first all he could see was blinding light, and blur as his eyes adjusted…

“Jensen!! Jensen!! Look at me baby! Can you hear me?!!"

Hearing you call his name Jensen looked blindly towards the sound of your voice.. You sound panicked… This was his fault… This shouldn’t be.. He’d done this.. He caused this…

He felt your hand on the side of his face as his eyes adjusted, and the invisible, black weight that was holding him down to his bed started to slowly lift. Letting his eyes adjust to your face…

‘Why the hell did I do something so stupid?! How could I hurt her like this?!’

"Jared, he’s awake, get the nurse.” She said, looking across the room to his best friend. Who he heard run toward the door.

“He’s awake!”

Your POV:

“Y/n you need to go back to Jensen’s, and get some sleep.” Jared said ,looking at you like you might drop dead from exhaustion at any moment.

“The doctors said he’s stable, and when he’s ready he will wake up. This is just the body’s way of dealing with the trauma he’s put himself through."

Jared meant well, but you weren’t going anywhere.

"There is no way in hell I’m leaving him. I’m going to be here when he wakes up.” You say through your teeth. Lack of sleep makes you easily annoyed.

It had been two days since you found Jensen in his daughter’s room. He still hadn’t woken up. The doctors all swear that he will when he’s ready. Part of you feels guilty that you couldn’t see the signs that were right there in front of you. You were kicking yourself for leaving him and going to bed that night. So you were determined to be there when he finally was ready to wake up again.

That, and everytime you close your eyes you see his body seizing on the ER room gurney…

Doctor holding him down, and shoving tubs filled with charol down his throat…

They had to pump his stomach to make sure all the stuff he’d swallowed was not in him anymore…

Three more minutes, if you had just laid there for three more minutes in bed that night before getting up to go and find him, it would have been too late…

You grabbed his hand like you had done countless times in the past two days. Running small circles across his hand with your thumb.

For just a moment you thought you saw his face twitch, but you were probably just imagining things. The longer you sat there watching him, ignoring Jared complaining something about how you were no good to Jensen if you had to be hospitalized yourself.. The more you thought you could see movement…

All the sudden like you had been praying they’d do for a little over 48 hours now Jensen’s eyes fluttered open and searched around the room blindly.

Shooting to your feet so fast that the chair you were sitting shoved back you placed your hand on the side of his face..

“Jensen! Jensen! Look at me baby can you hear me?!"

His eyes rolled back into his head before refocusing several times, fighting to stay continuous as he searched for you, and when he finally found you tears were already streaming out of his bloodshot eyes. Jared was standing frozen next to the window on the opposite side of the room in just as much shock it seemed as you were..

"Jared, he’s awake! Go get the nurse!” You said, afraid to take your eyes off of Jensen, not knowing if he was in pain or not.

His mouth moved, but no sound came out, and you started to panic.

Finally it hit you.

He’s probably hoarse from the tubes.

You grabbed the glass with a straw in it that was sitting on his tray, and poured it into the cup. Sitting the bed up some you put the straw to his lips, and he turned his head away from it..

“Come on baby please! It will help.” You said, and he looked at you like you’d asked him to walk across hot coals.

Then reluctantly put the straw in his mouth. Taking a small test pull at first. Then taking deep pulls on the straw. Realizing how thirsty he actually was. When it was gone he finally croaked the word “more” out. You quickly refilled the glass, and put it back to his lips. Watching him closely as Jared ran back into the room with about four nurses.

“Good. Your drinking. How are you feeling Mr. Ackles?” The charge nurse asked. Checking his vitals and the monitors that were next to the bed.

He said nothing. Just sat there with a death grip on your hand and staring at his lap.

“Mr. Ackles, do you remember how you got here?” She asked, and he only nodded his head yes.

You’d never seen him so down…

So defeated…

It was heartbreaking…

“Well, because of what you did you are being placed on a 48 hour suicide watch before you are released to your care takers. You will be required by law to see a therapist. Since it’s illegal to kill yourself your also looking at a pretty hefty fine I’m sure.” She went on telling him what he had to face in the next 48 hours.. Once it had been settled that he was no longer with Danneel, and he signed the papers putting you as his support system, and caretaker for the extended future, or at least until he was cleared by the therapist. She finally left the room with the other nurses, leaving the three of you alone..

He just sat there. Still clinging to your hand, and not looking at you or Jared in the eye. No matter what you said or asked him. The hospital staff came every hour to check on him, and there was a nurse sitting at a desk outside his door.

Jared went and got his favorite takeout, and brought it back to Jensen and yourself before leaving for the evening to help Gen and the babysitter in hope that he’d eat, but he wasn’t really all that interested, and after a few bites gave up completely on eating it…

Everytime Jared asked Jensen why he wouldn’t talk he’d just point to his throat. So neither of you wanted to press the matter. Afraid it would hurt him worse than help him…

Once Jared was gone Jensen looked at you sitting in the chair next to his bed. Tears running down his face again. The look of someone that was being torched alive.

“I’m so sorry…” He finally got out. His voice so hoarse it was almost a whisper.

You were on you feet in an instant. Dropping the side rail on the bed. He slid over for you to slide  in next to him.

He immediately put his head on your shoulder.

Exhausted, broken, and defeated.

Three things he should have never been.

“There isn’t a damn thing you need to be sorry about.” You tell him. Running your hands through his hair. Grateful that you were still able to do this. That you could still reach up, and run your hands through his hair. Touch his face. Feel his breath on your neck.

"I love you Jensen. I’m gonna be right here with you the whole way through this.” You tell him as he nuzzles himself into the bend of your neck.

“I love you to y/n. Please, please don’t give up on me."

Exhaustion was hitting him. Sleep trying to reclaim him. He’d been awake for a long time. You didn’t realize it was almost midnight until you looked at the TV playing silently in the corner..

"I’m not going anywhere, and there is no way in hell I’ll ever give up on you.”

Jensen’s POV:

The biggest mistake he’d ever made in his life still wasn’t an accurate excuse for what he felt like he’d done.. He’d let hurt feelings, fear, and depression lie to him. Convince him that you’d be better off without him..

He felt like he was Drowning.

The little voice in his head telling him over and over again that you’d be better off if he’d never come into your life.. Never came and knocked on your hotel door.. Never pulled you up on that stage.. .

At least then you’d be able to have a normal life.

A life without people stalking.

Taking pictures of your every move.

Social media attacks.

All those things you never deserved.

He’d never get his kids back from Danneel.

He’d always be broken.

Like a Drowning person with no hope he thought he’d find his relief in death. That way the suffocating pain would stop.

In truth it wouldn’t have stopped. He would have just passed it on to his kids, you, Jared, and everyone else that loves him. The scars inside him are permanently there, but that doesn’t mean he can ever give up again. He can never stop fighting. People he loves counted on him to keep going, even when he didn’t want too…

As he fell asleep in your arms he thanked God for another chance.

He knows this battle within himself isn’t over. It’s just beginning to even surface, but at least he knows for sure now that he’s not alone.

You said you’d never leave him. No one has ever said that before and meant it.

He knows though that you mean it.

He will make it up to you for doing this to you. He felt like he owed you his  very life. If you’d just gone to bed, and not come looking for him. He would have lost everything.

The thought of losing you is something he never wants to face again, especially at his own hand…

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[cantletgofanfic]

One.

*Laid to Rest*

Leandra

*Week Later*

    "Babe, ya alarm has been going off for a minute now," he complained through his sleep. I'd been letting it go off for the past 10 minutes without hitting the snooze button because honestly I'm not ready for this day & what it has to bring moving forward. Funerals ain't for me & I vowed on the day of my mother's funeral I would never attend one again, but here we are.

"Sorry," I mumbled, wiping the tears that managed to slip from my eyes just thinking about it. Grabbing my phone from under my pillow I turned the sound off returning the room back to it's silent state. Flipping the covers off my body I sat up throwing my feet off the bed watching as they dangled & swung back and forth. Feeling my eyes water yet again I looked up at the ceiling trying my best to hold them back but failed miserably as they streamed down my face.

Losing Tre brings a different type of pain I didn't even feel when my mom died & I know it sounds bad but with her I guess I was just more prepared. Her fight with cancer made it easier to accept her death even though it hurt like hell to lose her, but with Tre I'm still hurt, angry, & confused by it. I just knew he was invincible so I never thought this day would come, but life has its way of humbling you and the people around you. I'm heartbroken & I'll never feel whole again because they took half of me away when they pulled that trigger. I'm just happy he knows that King & I loved him through it all.

"Babe," Dom yelled, scaring me out of my thoughts.

"Yea," I answered looking back at him wiping my face. He breathed out sitting up in the bed next to me & wrapped his arms around my shoulders pulling me in.

"Talk to me babe. You haven't said much since you got the news & that's not good." he said rubbing my back. It's true, I haven't really opened up to anyone & I've been moving like everything is fine when it's not.

"I'm fine babe, I just wanna get this day over with. You good?" I asked looking over at him he nodded.

"If I'm being honest babe this shit is hitting me. That was my dog at one point & I know for the sake of keeping you happy time would've got us back to that," he paused, shaking his head as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"I just wish it would've happened sooner," I sighed hugging him. I was shocked to say the least but it does feel good to know despite their beef Dom does feel a way about Tre's death. I just wish hearing him open up would make me but for some reason I can't.

"Thank you babe for telling me that, & for just being here," I said wiping his tears he nodded.

"I'm gon always be here babe & I ain't gon pressure you but when you are ready to talk just know I'm here," he said I nodded.

"I know babe, it's just I don't even know where to begin & I appreciate all you've been doing for me this past week, trying to make things better," I paused grabbing his hands.

"But if I'm being honest my main focus right now is King. He's gonna need me more than anything & I'm gon always make sure he's good," I said he nodded

"Yea but who's gonna make sure you're good?" he questioned staring at me.

"I'll be fine babe I promise & when I'm not you'll be the first to know," I assured him he nodded as I stood to my feet & walked towards the door.

"Where you going?" he asked me, "To check on King, make sure he's up & getting ready," I informed him.

"Aight Ima go shower," he said I nodded. Turning on my heels he grabbed my hand and pulled me back into him.

"You know I got you right?" he asked, looking down on me.

"Yea, but right now babe you need to get a toothbrush," I joked, making him bust out laughing.

"You really tryna play me right now, yours ain't to fresh either yuck mouth," he teased as we laughed

"It's good to see you smile," he said interlocking our hands.

"Thank you," I said kissing his lips before walking out the room.

Knocking on King's door I waited a few seconds hearing him shuffle around in his room before knocking again only this time cracking the door open poking my head in.

"King," I called out opening the door to see him on the phone & proceeded to walk in.

"Yea," he answered with the phone to his ear.

"You ain't hear me knock?" I asked, he placed his finger up silencing me. I sucked my teeth waving him off and plopped down on his bed. He took the phone off his ear and placed it on speaker revealing my dad's voice.

"Is Lena with you?" I heard him ask

"Yea she just walked in," King answered, I sighed standing to my feet and walked over to where he stood. I wasn't expecting my dad to call so soon, I mean this is about to send me on another emotional roller coaster I'm not ready for.

"Baby girl you there?" he asked

"Yea, hey pops," I greeted fanning my eyes before the waterworks began.

"How you feeling?" he asked me, "I'm okay," I paused as my voice cracked.

"C'mon baby clean them tears up, you gon have me in here crying," he said, making us laugh a bit.

"I'm sorry pops, I just wish you were here for this," I expressed. I can't even imagine what my dad is going through right now. From being locked up, to losing his wife while away & now losing his first born, it's a fucked up cycle I wish he didn't have to endure.

"I wish I was there too & I'm sorry I'm not," he paused as his voice cracked.

"I just wanted to call and check on y'all see how yall are doing,"

"I'm okay pops, it's just hard to believe this day is actually here you know?" I questioned

"Yea I know & it's unfortunate it had to be Tre," he sighed

"How are you dad?" King asked him

"Honestly I'm not good, I'm taking this shit hard especially since I'm not there for y'all the way I should be. I'm trying everything in my power to come home cause I'll be damned if something else happens that I can't control," he paused taking a deep breath

"Losing your mother with me being in here and now Tre, I can't take this shit. I need and want y'all to do & be better than what we were. I'm sorry I couldn't be a better example because look at where we are now?" his voice shook, by this time we were all in tears. It hurts hearing my dad talk like this and blame himself because I couldn't have asked for a better person to be my dad. If it wasn't for him & everything he taught us we wouldn't have shit so I don't fault him for anything.

"This ain't on you though pops," King spoke through tears. "Except it is King, had I made better life choices Tre wouldn't be dead,"

"It's not pop & you don't know that I mean look at where we're from," King paused wiping his face.

"This is on the nigga who decided to pull that trigger. We couldn't have asked for a better dad, you did everything right regardless of where you're at right now so please don't blame yourself because we don't blame you," he said as the automated voice suddenly interrupted reminding us we have 2 minutes left of our call. These timed calls are a bitch.

"Look I love y'all & give Tre all my love," he said

"We love you too pops,"

"Aight, I'll call y'all later," he said before hanging up.

"You good?" I asked. He nodded his head, running his hands down his face.

"Yea I'm straight sis, what about you?" he asked me I nodded grabbing his hand

"You know I love you right?" I asked him, he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Yea, I love you too sis,"

"All this shit is the reason Tre & I have been so hard on you to stay focused on school, ball, & your music," I reminded him.

"I know that Lena & I will but now I also gotta step up, something Tre also stayed on me for, so just know I got you Lena. I got us." he said confusing me. Hearing him talk like that only meant one thing & I'm not having that shit. I'll be damned if King gets caught up in The Mob lifestyle.

From the moment I found out my mom was pregnant with King I was connected at the hip & when she gave birth couldn't nobody tell me shit, he's really my son. I've been so protective over him for not only my sake but his too, he's his own man of course but he's the perfect mix of both my dad & Tre and that's what scares me the most. Joining The Mob wasn't even supposed to be Tre's life and it damn sure ain't about to become Kings regardless of what he says Tre prepared him for, especially when I know that's the last thing Tre would have wanted for him.

"First of all King I got us, you just need to stay focused so promise me you're not gon be out here doing anything stupid like joining the fucking mob because I am not dumb," I said he smiled shaking his head and kissed my cheek.

"I won't Lena, you got my word," he said but I wasn't convinced. I'll just have to take his word for now but with King ain't no telling what he'll do.

"Aight finish getting ready," I instructed before leaving his room.

****

"Yo Lena look," King said tapping me. Picking my head up he pointed out the window at the Church parking lot. It was almost filled to capacity which caused the rest of the cars trying to get in to park wherever they see fit.

"Wow," I smiled looking out at the turnout. Tre was popular no doubt about it and although it's a shock to see I'm not surprised by the amount of people here right now. Tre's death affected everybody whether they knew him personally or not so to see this outcome warms my heart.

"I know he's happy looking down at this," King smiled

"That sun ain't shining bright for no reason," Dom paused shaking his head.

"Tre always said if his shit not packed out, start everything over," he added, making us laugh.

"You ready?" Dom asked looking over at me I nodded turning around in my seat and faced King.

"You ready?" I asked him

"Yea, let's go," he breathed out as he and Dom stepped out of the car. Watching as Dom walked over to my side I took a deep breath and stepped out once he opened the door for me.

"You speak to Nas or Rocky to see where they at?" King asked looking down on his phone. Rocky and Nas are Tre's best friends who also run The Mob with him.

"Yea, Nas texted me and told me he was on his way when we left the house, Rocky literally just texted me right now and said he's about to pull up." I informed him looking down on my phone.

"Ima go see how the Church looks, if they are ready for us" Dom said.

"Thanks babe," I said kissing him and watched as he walked off.

"Lena," my best friends Kennedi & Trinese called out. I turned around and smiled as they walked up to me. Kennedi is Nas' little sister and literally my other half we met Trinese in second grade and have been three peas in a pod ever since.

"Hey," I said hugging them. "Hey boo, how are you feeling?" Ken asked me I shrugged

"I'm just ready to get this over with honestly, what about y'all?" I asked them

"It's just weird us being here, Tre is the last person I would have expected this to happen to," Trini said I nodded.

"Yea I know," I said shaking my head noticing as Nas walked off having what looked to be a heated conversation on the phone with Rocky not too far behind him. Nas & Rocky being in Tre's life meant they were in my & King's life as well, it feels good gaining two brothers I didn't know I needed though Nas & I hold a different relationship. He's my best friend and quite frankly the only person I've been able to open up to about Tre's death.

"What's their problem?" I asked Kenni

"Remember my cousin I told you about that was locked up in Philly?" she questioned, I nodded.

"He was supposed to get out today but he got into some shit that pushed his release back another week so Nas is tight," she explained

"Damn that sucks Kenni, I'm sorry," I said

"What he do?" Trini asked I chuckled at her nosy ass.

"I don't know but Nas thinks it has everything to do with him not being able to be here," I grew confused

"I'm lost," I stated. "He knew Tre, according to Nas they were mad close," she said as they approached us.

"Wussup sis," Rocky said, hugging me then walked off to greet King.

"Big head," Nas said, walking up to me. "Hey knucklehead," I smiled. He chuckled and pulled me into a hug.

"How you feeling?" he asked me.

"I'm okay I guess, I'm just tryna get through this day ready for it to be over. What about you?" I asked him he shrugged.

"Same I guess, worried about you and King honestly. How is he?" he asked me.

"He claims he's good and right now his mind is set on stepping up because according to him Tre prepared him for this moment," I said he chuckled, shaking his head.

"What he mean by that?" he asked me. "Don't play dumb Nas, it has everything to do with The Mob and I'll be damned if he goes down that road, especially knowing Tre ain't want him to," I said shaking my head.

"I don't wanna have to go through this shit again Nas because if something happens to King," I paused as my voice cracked Nas sighed and pulled me in.

"Look Lena you know I got you and King & you have my word that King won't get involved in this shit," he said

"Thank you," I said wiping my eyes.

"They're ready for us babe," Dom said, walking up to me. I breathed out nodding and grabbed both his and King's hand. It really didn't hit me until just now that this is the last time I'm really gonna see my brother again.

From this day forward I don't really know how life is gonna turn out but I know I gotta make Tre proud so here's till we meet again.

[coppercatwrites]

Save Me - Sherlock x Reader

Chapter 7: Old Friend

Pairing: Sherlock x Reader Word Count: 1,581 Synop: Meeting with client #2 Tag List: @reveluvspecial​ @ravencatart​ @germansarechill​ @bakerstreethound​ @sassy-potato-yall​ @melanoms​

Sherlock huffs. “I look ridiculous.” 

You laugh as you watch him check himself out in the mirror. Ginger colored hair, fake glasses, a grey shirt, and black pants. 

“You look good with Ginger—”

“Auburn.”

“Auburn colored hair. You still need the mustache though.” 

“No.” He pushes past you out of the bathroom and into the sitting room. “I will not wear one of those.” 

You huff. “I know you wouldn’t look good in it. It’s for your own safety. He knows far too many people. I would like to assume he already knows who you are.” 

He pushes up his glasses. 

Already fallen into the part I guess.

“You talk like you know him.”

You pause. “Well duh, I attempted a hit for him.” 

“That’s not what I mean.” His arms cross above his chest, eyes searching into yours. “You knew him more than a client. An old friend perhaps?” 

Turning away from Sherlock, you look over your shoulder. “Just be ready in an hour. If we get there early, it will help keep your profile.” 

Face burning, you hop down the stairs and pass John. “I’m going out for coffee. Would you like anything?” Your hand holds the knob of the door. 

“No, but please take this.” He hands you some cash. 

You squint at the money. “I’m surprised you're letting me go, actually.” 

John smiles. “Would you have stayed if I told you to?” 

Folding the money in your pocket, you smirk. “You’re right, I would have gone anyway. Thanks for the money.” 

After walking past the door, you find your way to the post office. You pluck an envelope from the shelf and drop in a keychain with the letter ‘H’. You also throw in a red bus that has the words ‘Welcome To London' plastered on the side. With a smile, you buy a stamp and send out the letter to your mother. 

Just as you enter the coffee shop, an unpleasant feeling washes over you. While standing in line, you make eye contact with a man sitting at a booth. 

Shit… I should have listened to John.

You turn out of the coffee shop and run into the most crowded area. From there, you get back to Baker Street as fast as you possibly could. Whipping the door open, you rush inside and up the stairs. Sherlock and John both hop out of their chairs. 

“What—”

“I hope you're both ready because we need to leave. Now.” 

John, Sherlock, and yourself leave 221B and hop into a cab. You pull out a wallet and toss it to the driver. His eyes widen at the excessive amounts of orange notes within the leather.

“Leave us your car, and I swear I’ll return it with more money.” 

The cabbie gets out and you hop into the front seat. With multiple twists and turns, you end up a block away from your meeting site. An abandoned factory.

John clears his throat. “Do I want to know who’s wallet that was?”

You smirk. “No.”

He huffs. “Okay, what happened when you went out for coffee?” 

“I saw someone.” 

“Who?” 

The abrupt stop of the cab makes sherlock and john slide forward into the driver and passenger seats. You turn and hand Sherlock a small microphone to hold in his pockets. “This is so we can hear you in case there’s trouble. He should be there soon.” 

Sherlock eyes you with a suspicious look before he exits the cab and walks into the building. You watch his retreating form as you hand John an earbud. Putting in your own, you turn the volume up. 

“So, who did you see when you went for coffee?” 

You huff. “Not the time, John. Maybe later.” 

Through the earbud, you hear a door opening and closing. The sound of footsteps grow closer. “You’re early.” 

Sherlock clears his throat and puts up a fake accent. “I thought it best to be early, Sir.” 

“Sir?” the man scoffs. “We’re both adults here, let's go by our users.”

“Shadow, where can I find the woman you’re looking for?” 

The man shakes his head. “I’m going to frisk you first. Pat ya down.” 

You hear a huff over the mic before the sound of ruffling clothing.  “Very well.” 

Back in the cab. John shakes his head. “He’s gonna find the mic. It’s not well hidden.” 

“Have faith, John.” 

Over the earbuds, the ruffling stops. “What’s this? Numbers, I’d say you’re trying to record me.” 

“Sorry ‘bout the confusion. I like to record my research from the lab. Left it in my pocket by accident.” 

After a beat of silence, a piercing scream blasted into your earpieces before nothing but static can be heard. 

You throw your earpiece to the other side of the cab while John tosses his to the floor. “We need to get in there! He could be in trouble!” 

“John, I have nothing to defend myself with. What am I supposed to do in an empty warehouse to help sherlock?” 

“Stay. Behind. Me.” 

 John opens the door with his gun out and clears the hall. Slowly stalking forward, you hear muffled speaking coming from the open warehouse. You peak your head around the door and see Sherlock and the client. 

“So are we at a deal, Shadow?” 

“Wait a minute now, numbers. You sure you’re up for this?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Because.” The client smirks and pulls a gun.  “Sherlock Holmes, your record will be very dirty when you’re done.” 

You see his Adam's apple bob and his eyebrows twitch. “What makes ya think I’m Mr. Holmes?”

The client yells out into the warehouse. “If you don't come out on my count of three, I’m going to shoot Mr. Holmes in the head. One.” 

“Ay, you don't have to do that, I’m not Sherlock Holmes. I have a badge from work and everything!” 

“Two.”

You spring from your hiding position when John holds out his arm to block you. Your shoe hits his chest as you push him back from you. 

“Nick, stand down! He’s not who you want to kill.” 

“Ah, there she is. I knew I saw you at the coffee shop.” 

With a hand on Sherlock's chest, you turn to face the client. “This is between us. No more cat and mouse.” 

John scrambles out of his hiding place to stand next to Sherlock. His gun pointed at Nick.  

Just as you’re about to speak, Nick holds up his finger. “Just a second, I need to go get something. Would you mind waiting?” 

He opens the door and walks into a room. When he comes out, he’s accompanied by a little boy with noise-canceling earmuffs. 

John’s grip on his gun falters. “Oh, god. A child.” 

“Mommy! ” 

Nick holds the boy in front of him, gun a few inches away from the back of his head. 

Sherlock’s eyebrows crease. “Mommy?” 

You grit your teeth while your eyes grow moist. “You son of a bitch.” 

He smirks and directs his attention to Sherlock and John. “She didn’t tell you she had a son? Yeah, me neither.” 

“Henry isn’t a part of this, let him go home.” 

“What home? You stole something from me. It’s only fair I steal something from you.”  

John sucks in a breath and aims his gun to the ground. Sherlock studies the face of the terrified boy. 

“Your mom didn’t put up much fight. Doesn’t surprise me though. She was always weak.” 

The rumble of Sherlock’s chest against your fingers nearly made you jump. “Let the boy go, we can talk this out like intellectuals.” 

Nick chuckles. “ I trained you, (y/n). I loved you. How could you leave me?” 

“I know, Nick. I’m sorry.”

He pauses and aims the gun back at Henry. “If you’re sorry, why did you hide my son from me.” 

“I tried not to hide him from you. I hid him from everyone else. I was afraid of him getting hurt.” 

“We could have protected him together. Like what family is supposed to do.”

A few tears drip down your face. “I see that now and I’m sorry. I—” you take a shaky breath in. “I still love you.” 

Nick’s grip on the gun falters and his finger rests away from the trigger. His gaze moves to the floor. 

“Nick, I think you should put the gun down. We can be a family again.” 

Your eyes soften as your hand flattens out over your lower abdomen. “I don’t want to lose this one. I hope it's a girl.” 

Sherlock’ s wide eyes look from Nick to you and back again. You hear him start to speak under his breath.

“You’re n—” You elbow him in the stomach.

John’ s eyebrows furrow as he mumbles something under his breath. 

Nick smiles widely and lets go of Henry. “I’m gonna be a father of two.” 

You lower yourself into a crouch as Henry’s body collides with yours. As you hold your son, Sherlock rushes to step in front of you. The pop of John's gun makes you glad you kept the earmuffs on Henry. 

John holds pressure on Nick’s shoulder wound. When he turns to Sherlock, he sighs. “Take them home. I’ll be sure Lestrade and an ambulance get here.” 

You stand up, Henry wrapped around your neck and waist, and walk back out to the taxi. Sherlock hops in the driver's seat, his eyes between you and the road the whole way back to 221B.

Next chapter: ---> 

[dazed--xx]

Beside you 2

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst

Word count: 1,570

Trigger Warning: NONE

A/N: SO YALL BEEN WAITING FOR THIS COMMENT FOR A PART 3 and if you want a fake text request those are now on my request list so please let me know what kind of request you’d like. Inbox me please i love talking to yall. I pushed this before all my requests but if you do have a request it is in the process of being written but depending on how many comments i get i will write a part 3

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*Previously*  

I lose myself in his lips soon I reach for my luggage bag and rush out the door and into my car. Jungkook is banging on my passenger side window trying to open the door tears streaming down his face “please, stop, stop the car, get out please stay with me, BABY PLEASE” he shouts as I reverse and drive off the last sight I have is Jungkook chasing my car with tears streaming down his face. 

*Now*  

The constrictor that is anxiety takes over my breathing. The road the only thing mind is focused on as I escape. After a few hours, I finally come to a stop at a beach and just lay on the sand my mind wandering off. The warm sun beaming on my face as I run my hands through the sand. The sky nice and sunny, watching the waves as I flip to my stomach watching the surfers and tourists. Laying back exhausted from the events of today I drift off to sleep.  

After waking up and realizing the sun is setting, I rush to my car and drive back toward Seoul. Stopping at a gas station I call my best friend Sunny. “I need to stay with you” I say sadly “Get your ass over here” She says softly. My heart warming at her friendly attitude, Sunny being the only one against my marriage to Jungkook in the first place. Her outspoken attitude making her the most honest person I know.

*PING...*

The messages go through my phone as I finally pull into Sunny’s driveway. My heart breaking at the memory of Jungkook’s pleading figure in the street begging for me to stop. The tears streaming down my face, pulling the phone into view I see Jungkook’s Contact in the notification bar. My heart stops as I swipe to read his messages....

The desperate need to be in his arms comforting him takes over me, the want to reverse and go home is overwhelming. “I only want you too” I type into the phone shaking as my mind drifts back to Jungkook's deception. Hesitantly I delete the message as a tap on my window startles me “Hey beautiful, what's up?” Sunny’s eyes examine my tear-filled ones. A soft smile appears on her face “Come on beautiful let's go inside and you can tell me all about it” She extends her arms for a hug, forcing the seatbelt off I throw myself out of the car and into her arms sobbing.

A few hours Sunny has me set up in her guest bedroom. I lay in the bed and sob as my phone began pinging with more messages from Jungkook. My sobs grow harder, as I read his words.

My mind drifting to the memory of him. The way he smiled when he walked into the kitchen every morning to grab his tea. The sexy way his suits would hug his muscles, his hair always perfect. The way his face contorted as he entered me. The blush that crept onto his face when I walked in on him. His words returning to my mind, the words he spoke when he thought he was alone. “Y/N yeah baby girl this is your cock, fuck all yours baby girl take it.” His voice moaned. The need to feel him inside me grows, pushing it down as I roll over and cry myself to sleep.  

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“PLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!” Sunny pleads. I roll my eyes and shake my head “No, I’m sorry but I don’t feel like going out.” “Y/N! Come on you have to get out the house love you’ve been trapped in here for a month already.” She begs, I shrug and pull the blanket over my head again. “OH NO YOU DON’T" Sunny’s tone serious as she yanks the comforter off of the bed “Get your ass up I’m not taking no for an answer we’re going out cause the best way to get over some guy is to get under a hotter much better one” She tosses 3 dresses on my form “Take a shower and pick one of these 3 dresses and get dressed I have the shoes okay?”.

Nodding hesitantly as I sit up “Bitch your scary sometimes........ Fine I'll go but no guys okay? One guy for me and I'm gone” Her smile returns to her face as she winks “Promise! Love ya” she says seductively as she walks out. Trudging toward the bathroom my heart drops, the memory of the last time I went out returning to my head. Jungkook’s jealousy, his need for me when we got home. My fingers softly touch my lips as I lock the door behind me. The feeling of Jungkook’s soft lips return to me, my heart racing. The way he sounded as he lost himself inside me has me growing wet.  

The sight of his face when he realized I was leaving, the heart break and panic returning to break my heart. The hot water consuming me in my thoughts as I wash myself. Soon I’m dressed with the least revealing dress Sunny has left for me. My anxiety rising in the pit of my stomach. My heart threatening to jump out of my chest as I walk into Sunny’s room.  

“OKAY BODY!!!” She shouts excitedly. Soon we’re pulling up to a nice restaurant, “Sunny what are we doing here” She laughs “eating”. Slowly I get out of the car staring at the restaurant walking in hesitantly behind Sunny. The restaurant was definitely expensive, the hostess leading us to a private booth that sat 2 gentlemen in suits. “Sunny are you fucking kidding me?!” I stop walking. “Y/N please, I REALLY like this guy and the only way he was gonna go out with me was if I brought a friend for his friend. I’ll owe you BIG” She states sadly as she makes a puppy dog face. “FINE since I'm already here but don’t expect anything I mean I AM still married” “Of course!”  

Dinner actually goes pretty well, Min-Jun is really cute for Sunny they're both extremely outgoing. Min-Jun's friend Sang is a little more what I expected from a man in such an expensive suit. An heir to some fortune with a lot of knowledge of my father's business. Sang is extremely cocky, his wealth known with how he holds himself. The way he treated the staff, as if they worked for him personally. This type of wealthy man was the type I despised. Sang reminding me a lot of Jungkook when I first met him. A spoiled rich boy that daddy took care of.  

My mind comparing Sang to Jungkook constantly. The difference in personality, Jungkook always being a little more down to earth. Jungkook has always been one of the most sought-after men in all of Seoul, holding himself in high regard without giving off complete arrogance. Sang was different.... He was opposite of what I could ever want. His shameless flirting disgusting me at every cliché line. Ordering more and more glasses of wine with dinner to tolerate it.  

“You okay kitten?” Sang questions grabbing my hand. My eyes drifting to where our bodies meet, my hand feeling oddly small in his uncomfortable. “Y/N can be a little.....shy sometimes” Sunny speaks up, my eyes flash to her smiling. “SO! I really want to dance should we go clubbing? Y/N?” Clubbing...Drinks...Forget....yes anything to forget. I nod “I'm down.”

The club is packed, I’ve had I don’t know how many shots. Sunny and Min-Jun pressed against the bar making out. Sang rambling on all the new extensions he is having done to his new mansion. His flirting becoming more persistent, “So Y/N do you want to like get out of here?”. Disgust appearing on my face, slurring my words “Hell-l n-no". A confused look appears on Sang’s face “Look I’m ma-rried and-d honestly you're-e irritating-g I-I did thi-s for Sunny” I laugh “I wouldn’t look twice at you otherwise” “Y/N!” Sunny shouts. 

“I’m so sorry about her she’s drunk” She apologizes to Sang. “Sunny don’t apologize to him he’s a douche-bag and you know it” I slur, a knowing look popping up on her face, “Oh I'm sorry I didn’t know that the only douche-bags you go for were the ones that treat you like shit, use you for sex, and then sleep with another woman in the same hour he sleeps with you . Right Y/N?” Tears forming in my eyes “Wow! REALLY?! No problem Sunny I’ll I have my stuff out before you get back have a nice night. And Sang you're a pathetic prick and no woman wants an insecure little boy bragging to her all night” The laughter taking over my body as I walk off. “You vindictive bitch!” Sang shouts grabbing my forearm. “Let me go” I yank my arm, his grip growing tighter. “No! You owe me I wasted my whole night on your spoiled bratty attitude the least you could do was give me want I want” He snarls.  

EXCUSE ME ASSHOLE, before I can get my words out a familiar voice cuts me off from behind me, making me sober the second the sexy harsh voice entered my ears. My body stuck, “If you want to live to see tomorrow, I’d suggest you take your hand off of my wife”  

A small gasp escapes my lips as my heart freezes. “Jungkook”