#scratches my mind the right way
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types of people - places
[ made by @utterchaios, reposted from @lacunasbalustrade! ]
tag game, bold what applies, italicise what sometimes does, cross out what never ever applies
library, dank chemistry memes, coffee, has a gigantic purse with enough stationery to start a store, "pls stop breathing im trying to study", eats a LOT of candy, curses you in a dead language, carries textbooks literally EVERYWHERE, dark academia, watches harry potter bc nostalgia, takes showers at 3 am while listening to audiobooks. why have pillows when you can have books?, "who folded the corner of this page?, im gonna commit homicide" , the encyclopedia of the group, has like 25 sweaters and one pair of chuck taylors, short hair, most likely the valedictorian. Stranger Things.
art gallery, mysterious eyes, leather jackets, hands stained with paints and pigments, "if you open the curtains, i swear to God i will obliterate you", may or may not be a soul-sucking vampire, changes clothes every 2 hours bc "its icky ok?", stares at a painting for hours unless you physically carry them away, would always rush to help you, DIY Michelangelo Plaster sculptures, lost count of their pinterest boards, wants to eat mac and cheese but its 12 am and the fridge is empty, "i have crippling depression", doesnt remember their birthday or anyone elses, likes blueberry cheese cake, reads Dan Brown, owns a reptile. buys you coffee without asking.
the park, flower pressings, "i only consume caffeine when i need to", doodles on their shoes just because, wants to have a swing in their backyard, most likely cottage core, plays minecraft on creative mode only, makes pies for everyone, loves sunny days, the optimistic one in the squad, "i made you this flower crown, here!!", prefers milkshakes, home-cooked meals, has cool colored hair, "i will only come over if we can watch 'spirited away' again", you really wanna be their friend, looks like a softie, but will sucker-punch someone to mars if they had to, watches nature documentaries, hand-woven journals, names their plants, likes green tea.
planetarium, shiny eyes, sleep is for the weak, the most motivated one, usually quiet in their own thoughts, probably neurodivergent, has a cat or cats, "free food WOOOOOOOOOO", day-1 organization guru, day-2 "where IS my wallet???", wears different socks on each feet, pizza pizza PIZZA, doodles little planets on your arm, productivity who?, will eat anything, f.r.i.e.n.d.s, unlimited vine references, solves a complex equation within 2 minutes, but can't figure out the directions for the nearest fast food, looks at the sky like its their first time, forgets to study, but aces the exam anyway, "why can't movies follow the laws of physics? im calling the cops bc this breach is UNNACCEPTABLE!!!", never sleeps on time bc vsauce rabbithole, the kindest person you'll know.
#[ heartcatcher: ]#[ tag! you're it!: ]#[ keychained: ]#i love how oddly specific these options are#scratches my mind the right way
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This 20-yr old cartoon is basically the plot of Arcane
I'm not exactly surprised so many people jump to classify Jinx a terrorist since she kinda fits the Western stereotype of that (although that's debatable since she doesn't have a concrete ideology or organization), but I guess I'm a bit surprised the real world commentary is flying over some people's heads in a way that gets them to justify Piltover's response as valid or write off Jinx's response as unreasonable.
In my opinion Jinx was partially intended to be a deconstruction of the terrorist stereotype by interrogating what causes someone to be like this in the first place. They deliberately gave her bomb/ explosion motifs, plus she's literally firing a missile at a tower of politicians. It's meant to evoke a certain imagery but you're not supposed to stop there. Youre supposed to ask "okay well why did it get to this point and how could this have been prevented?" and the answer to both those questions is Piltover.
Season 2 takes this further by asking what's the difference between a terrorist and a revolutionary. It's not a coincidence that Piltover (the oppressive regime) is the one framing her as a terrorist while Zaun sees her as a revolutionary symbol. In reality, she isn't either of those things (not completely) but no one sees her as Jinx-the-complex-person because of the dehumanization someone in her role gets subjected to, from both sides.
Piltover and Zaun are not the same. I really don't think you can both-sides-are-bad this conflict at all, particularly when one side possesses all the resources and power for centuries. You can debate about whether it was handled properly because yes the writers have biases and I think the depiction of fascism and revolution was rushed and clumsy, but I do appreciate the attempt at real world commentary.
#and before anyone says anything no she didnt fire that rocket for Zaun. as i said shes not a revolutionary#her reasons for doing that are complex and personal and since she never explained it herself we can only infer#maybe i'll talk abt this again some day bc the way her mind works is fascinating. i love her writing#all the female characters are complex but her writing in particular scratches the right itch in my brain#the dehumanization she went through from both piltover and zaun is so good. the only ones who see her for who she is are isha and sevika#and even THEY are pushing her to be a revolutionary figure for the greater good#i wish more of the story was devoted to the conflict between the nations but it seems the plot is moving towards the magic elements#arcane#my post#arcane season 2#arcane s2#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#arcane analysis#arcane meta#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers
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lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall
idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...
to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"
but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics
"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"
and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."
But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-
And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"
and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really
Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)
And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.
and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)
And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*
but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)
and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far
"You should really use your words."
"I am!"
"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."
"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"
"Sasha isn't most Alphas."
"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"
"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."
"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.
"It would work better if you use—"
"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.
like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know
#ask#i dont think we nearly take enough advantage of maffhew going to a catholic prepatory school#my friend who went to catholic schooling his whole life until highschool (where we met) dropped the bombshell of the door thing on me#to which i went you have to be fucking with me that cant be real and then i was like well i guess its good we're both boys then-#and then he goes oh my mom knows im queer the rule applies to boys too#and i just nervously looked over to the door knob like well uh maybe we should open the door? i dont want your mom to be mad-#and he was like oh shes convinced we've been fucking since we met so this is allowed youre the only boy she lets do this (the door thing)#a couple of years later when he moved out i found out friends weren't allowed over if he was alone in the house but i was the only exceptio#and i felt like the equivalent of a roving tomcat who keeps wandering into the gardens and got the neighbours cat daisy pregnant#i dont think i could ever look that woman in the eye after all that#this is all to say catholic schooling does things to you man#anyways i do have to reiterate every kitty is fucking each other on a normal basis and in an abo au it gets even worse#making our whorehouse a whorehome#ive always said this but flirting with a virgo is like flirting with a brickwall#actually thatd be an insult to the brickwall because at least the brickwall would give you something to work with#the humble virgo looks you in the eyes before they crush your ego with a single word and youre like thank you mistress may i have another#i feel for maffhew i really do#theres just so many funny ways this just goes terribly wrong because both maffhew and sasha are inherently messy people#matthew and sasha on a team outing sat next to each other in a booth and matthew gets a little tipsy and starts rubbing his cheek#on sashas shoulder and sasha is just looking over to benny like please. help. and benny just snorts and blatantly ignores#him as he continues to sip on his beer and sasha just turns to ekky and silently pleads with his eyes. PLEASE. HELP.#ekky huffs and looks away very much not thrilled about being involved in any form whatsoever and hes not gonna change his mind about this#*5 minutes later* and ekky finds himself switching spots with sasha with a cuddly maffhew on his arm and he's a little disgruntled about it#but its very hard to stay upset when maffhew keeps mumbling about how nice he smells and keeps trying to scent him#all over like he has any right to lay a claim when hes been in the pack for such a short time#and yeah okay maybe he preens a little bit at the compliment like just a little#and maybe he does like being treated like a glorified scratching post but matthew doesnt need to know that (matthew knows that)#well anyways
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the last time reigen let dimple possess him, it was, well, — it felt fucking great, despite everything. standing in the eye of the storm, indestructible, fast, strong, agile, powerful, together; having entrusted him with reigen's useless old little body and gotten a 200% return on the investment! so what if he wanted to feel something at least a little bit like that again, if he missed the crowdedness under his skin? so what if he's been feeling kind of lonely lately, especially when off work, what with mob being busy, and himself not being all too close to tome-chan yet, and not letting himself get all too close to serizawa? so maybe reigen starts letting dimple possess him from time to time, just, casually. most of the time the possessions aren't even justified, but it's not weird if they don't talk about it. dimple enjoys being able to breathe, and says exactly that; reigen enjoys being together, and says nothing of it.
reigen never admits any of his reasons, obviously; neither does dimple admit that he deeply appreciates what reigen does for him. it's just a weird little thing that happens between them, largely unacknowledged, mentioned either not at all or through crude lighthearted jokes, with emotions welling in the whitespace between words.
over time, reigen gets his head out of his ass, and him and serizawa become good friends, best friends, boyfriends, even, and later move in together. the thing with dimple continues to happen because there's no real reason for it to stop, and frankly it's not like they ever discuss that; it just carries on. katsuya's been noticing for quite a while that Something has been happening, but he never felt like it's his place to ask, especially when it seemed so silent — nearly non-existent, despite being very real. well, whatever arataka chooses to do with his free time, right?
***
one night katsuya stays out drinking with his school friends a little later than he was expecting, and comes home a little drunker than he was going to. he finds arataka in the kitchen, chopping some vegetables, main lights off and over-the-counter lights dim and amber around his frame; he's so, so pretty, and katsuya hugs him from the back, reaching to try and place a kiss. arataka turns around, his face flashing a wide grin and very bright red cheeks. "oh hi," dimple says. katsuya backs off clumsily, and stammers, "ah, i'm so sorry! i was expecting arataka to be here, but it's you, ah-h-h, this is awkward, again i'm so sorry!"
"no big deal," dimple waves off, and turns back to chopping. "fyi, usually when i'm here, it doesn't mean reigen's not — i don't displace him, yanno? just hanging around in his head, it's like buddy time." he grins again. "right now he isn't, though: i'm just puppeteering the thing. he passed out on the couch waiting for you, and i thought y'all wouldn't appreciate not having shit to eat for breakfast. i'll whip up some stir-fry for tomorrow and dump this back where i found it for a good night's sleep, dw about it"
"ah," katsuya says eloquently, "thank you."
he doesn't leave the kitchen, still — changes positions, getting comfortable, leans on the counter, and watches dimple work. his quick movements, his(?) elegant hands, his concentrated expression, his(?) golden hair, his red cheeks. he looks so handsome like that.
"you look so handsome like this," katsuya says before his brain-to-mouth filter catches up to the rest of him.
dimple puts the knife down and stretches his(? arataka's?) hands out before him, admiring. "it's a beautiful body," he admits. it's not a grin, but smile, softer this time; private, even. "don't tell reigen i said that, but — i really enjoy this; being like this. not just the whole getting to be alive, running around and breathing and eating thing, though of course that too, but also — you know what i mean," he shifts a shoulder up. "possessing anyone is fun, but possessing reigen..." he runs one of his(?) hands down another of his(?) arms, lightly — almost reverently. "it's nice."
katsuya's breath hitches.
he's standing closer than he remembers being. arataka is so pretty like that, in this soft lighting; dimple is so pretty like that, in this soft body.
"i still want to kiss you," katsuya whispers.
dimple's breath, just for a flashing moment, hitches too; he wouldn't admit it. "go ahead," he says, louder than a whisper, but way quieter than his voice.
katsuya does.
it's not chaste and not desperate; gentle-slow and quick-curious, soft, warm, almost exactly the same as every kiss he'd had before, just like this, but so unlike them, and almost tangibly new.
it feels great.
"it feels great," dimple breathes. "it's been a long time, and i've kind of... forgotten what it's like. so i've always wondered how it would feel if i did it."
"you mean, kissing in general, or?..." katsuya makes a terrible, embarrassed pause. "...kissing me?"
dimple shrugs, and turns back to the cutting board again. chop-chop-chop! katsuya stares, maybe a bit dumbly.
***
katsuya wakes up in the middle of the night, slightly less drunk but significantly more disoriented, and stumbles towards bathroom, and gets arataka's phone flashlight shone right into his fucking face (and then quickly towards his feet with a bit-louder-than-necessary apology).
" 'm going to the bathroom", katsuya explains.
"ah, i'm just heading back. samesies moment!" arataka jokes.
katsuya buffers.
"i kissed your boyfriend last night and i'm so sorry!"
"...you are my boyfriend, tsuya," he raises an incredulous brow, and then a hand to brush at katsuya's forehead. "you alright, buddy?.. uh, do you mean you gave me a kiss while i was asleep? if so, it's fine, you shouldn't worry about little things like that-"
"no! i mean kinda yes? agh, i mean dimple-was-posessing-you-while-you-were-asleep-and-i-kissed-him-and-he-kissed-me-back-i'm-so-sorry!"
"ah yea he does that someti- you What? dimple WHAT? wait, did you just call dimple my BOYFRIEND?"
***
the conversation that ensues is horrible. not because anyone's fighting — no one is even angry, unless you count violent bafflement as a subtype of anger — but because a honest, serious, 3-way conversation regarding dimple, gayness, feelings, and gay feelings for dimple, by definition can not be not horrible. arataka takes a smoke break in the middle. (he quit 5 years ago, but a guy needs exceptions). katsuya feels the closest he's ever felt to a heart attack, and that's including all his previous life experiences. dimple grows out a weird little perfunctory foot to tap it in the air.
but they try their best, and they figure things out.
in the end, not much changes; they still don’t talk about too often, but now it feels more like comfortable lack of necessity rather than avoidance; they all just get it. and occasionally, dimple possesses arataka while he kisses katsuya, and oftentimes vice versa.
it's nice.
#mob psycho 100#vikarambles#reigen arataka#dimple mp100#serizawa katsuya#ekurei#serirei#ekuserirei#got no interest whatsoever towards ekurei where dimple posseses the guard guy — no hard feelings just doesnt scratch my brain any good way#ekurei where dimple posseses REIGEN though??? ohhh SIGN ME UP for that shit i LOVE ghost romance i LOVE posessions#i LOVE supernatural/mind-bending displays of affection!!! that's the good shit!!!#and EKUSERIREI where dimple posseses either of them?? you mean i can take HAPPY GHOST ROMANCE and add POLYAMORY to it??????#it's like a lethal doze injection of adhd right to the frontal lobe. it makes me feel SO#either way i got half an hour of sleep last night because i was busy writing this. *bows down and keels over* bone apple teeth or w/e#real talk tho if you dont like this Pls do not let me know im a poor sensitive little flower and i'd like to live in peace#also uh#writing#i guess#word count 1.1k rating pg13 jsyk#aint much but honest work
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I mean this vent completely neutrally and as an observation rather than Woe is Me negativity but going ham in my sketchbook has been Fun but along with not really Learning anything (tho historically no art knowledge ever sticks to my brain) I'm no closer to understanding how I WANT to draw! if that makes sense.
I dont really identify with or want to continue any of the patterns I try (nor do they get any more muscle memory-y, in the fundamentals area).
Its fine as long as its Fun but I really feel the aimlessness. Like I'll keep going but I've also. Been doing that. All I do is Keep Going, when does it all tetris together!
#continuation of this is like. idk how to trust my eyes if im being honest! and im understanding rules but not how to break em#like how i understand that in realistic proportions theres as much space above the eyes than below them on a face#but obviously people draw characters with shorter foreheads/skulls all the time#ive done it too. but it looks Wrong when i do it on purpose. i feel everything i try to do looks unintentionally wrong#idk how to get to the intentional part or what i even want that to look like!#the permanent issue of not knowing what i want it to look like i just know i dont want it to look like this#which is bad bc you shouldnt qualify things by the negatives like that....wagh#im no good at making things from scratch i wish someone wld just draw in my ideal art style already so i cld study it#(jork)#technically i cld do this with urasawa bc like i said thats a dream style right there ill just infuse it with mine#but it Feels wrong#and i know u dont need to have 1 art style forever but i draw one way and forget all the previous ways ive ever drawn#i rly dont understand! i wish we cld share brains with each other so i cld gain understanding of what to do next ykwim#bc ill always keep going i just worry im never going to Get it#that there will always be that bizarre and extreme disconnect between eye and mind and hand#talkys
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They diagnosed me with liking comics disease
#i don't think ive ever thought about anything more in my entire life#genuinely it's probably right below thinking about food#I'm sick with it. there are gutters dividing the moments of my life#there are gutters dividing the weeks#it's like if i just get a little bit closer to the medium I can step inside#it's like I can understand a language but can barely speak it#my first language. I'm trying to speak it.#the panels crawl under my skin and the speech bubbles writhe in my gut and can someone die from this#can someone shed their skin and spread their wings from this#I'm heady with overexposure and waiting for a turning point that will never come where it somehow all falls away#stops being hours of my life and starts being one pure point of knowledge#no idea what's supposed to happen then. time shouldnt exist.#if I read enough comics -- *dissect* enough comics -- practice the language of scriptwriting --#if I process it all right I'll turn it into a diamond of certain knowledge. and then the perfect comic will pop fully formed out of my mind#the comic that all the others were building up to. the holotypical comic.#<- I forgot the right word for the version of something that is the best. but this is funnier#either way idk why my mental illness has decided this is actually going anywhere.#all I've got is a document titled “KILL THE FAIRY QUEEN” and 430 xmen comics in the past 3 months#and a bookshelf that's a little bit past capacity#dont even have a good grip on the language yet smh#i feel like im going to die Alien chestburster style and it'll be a speech bubble bursting out of me instead#you can spend thousands and thousands of hours on comics without even scratching the surface#and I haven't. i haven't scratched it yet
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qwgeteydg
#i miss twitter. i need an outlet for the weird but not Weird shit that crosses my mind#it feels weird to post stuff on tumblr in the same way which is mainly what my tagposts are scratching the itch of#i know twitter still exists but i also feel like there are only 3 people there these days#anyway i am back climbing again after my injuries and i just flexed my bicep and it is SOLID and i'm :)))#like i have no fucking. tone? there's no muscle tone at all but my arms are beasty atm i'm v happy#don't need core strength if i just gorilla my way up a wall right???#i'm very much the clown of the people i climb with. they are all very very good climbers. i am a mockery of a climber. but it's fun.#anyway i'm gonna go watch the trainee now#save me off jumpol i beg ye#so it is decreed
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I know this is kinda silly and doesn't seem as serious as it is for me but it genuinely hurts me that I can't casually tell people that I'm a therian. I can't even say I'm a furry unless I'm certain I won't be judged. It's becoming an increasingly important part of my identity and I wish I could just tell people "I'm a dog btw ^-^" when I meet them the same way I can tell them I'm queer or an artist or a gamer or whatever. It's just who I am and I hate how it's not really accepted, or even understood by most people
#i think it would really benefit my relationships with people if i could tell them that and know they're cool with it#and i don't just mean the fact that being understood and accepted is important in relationships with people. because yeah duh#i mean if someone truly understood it they would change the way they interact with me#like in my last post i said i wish to be touched the way you touch a dog#no thoughts or motives behind that. just pets or scratches#right now if someone pet me or if i request being pet there would probably be some other motives in that#like flirting for example#and like these can coexist it could be both mindless petting and flirting in certain circumstances#but i mean i wish i could get the pure affection for the sake of it from people#like honestly that sounds nice even from people i don't know too well#if i trust you enough to want to interact with you im okay with you petting me in a dog way#but then I can't tell people this so i can't get that#and yknow there is other stuff that goes with being perceived as something other than human#the way i express my emotions feels animal to me. it just does. but no one can get that without me explaining every detail of my mind#i said this before in sone other post but i wish people would just know im a dog without having to tell them#because i can't tell anyone#except for yknow. the internet where no one really knows me#well#therianposting#bee buzz
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My second therapist is tumblr
#and it really helps#like if i have a problem or something that scratch my mind it will land here in some way#I know I use tumblr as my diary and bcs i write every down and give words to my problem it helps and things#so yeah i know the psychologie after this in fact but i make use of it instead just knowing#like i know that when i will put Words to my problems and speak them out that thats the beginning of healing and all#but i actually do it and like that cant be said of many people i think#I mean that you know some theory doesnt mean you practice it right#something like that#but i find myself in places where i post something about it and bcs of that i am much less stressed and can i let it go#anyway so good of me#like proud for that#(i Also know it helps for em that in fact people actually can read it and like i have#like an audience? but Not that people actually read it#but like in theory they could and that helps me#so yeah tumblr is me second therapist#for people who read this all#u should try it like Its just theory in practice so ;)#actually autistic#asd#autistic#actually autism#autistic things#mental breakdown#mental health#positive mental attitude#self healing#therapist
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out of insane interest and seeing how much ppl are lit crying over defending the ascended astarion ending. the game even gives u a wis check to be like "hm does he respect you? NO!!!!!" and its like. naw thats fine. congrats on the bad end.
#*#narrator screaming crying throwing up like girl get OUT#never mind the absolute gaslighting and way astaion tries to like#convince tav to be a spawn. oh my bvad. CONSORT.#like i havent seen the full thing/all the choices before. so i pulled it up.#yeah sure the like poses are hot but also consider ur lit a pet. less than a pet.#scratch has more rights than tav rn.#idk why u would bother trying to defend it btw just like#embrace the bad end???#you made a choice. you have the consequences. you cant rly justify it but like. idk. enjoy that shit babe.
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i still have yet to see the new hbomb but for anyone who's watched it now and wants more this is not the first time he's covered this kind of thing, "here's three stories about youtube plagiarism" is from 6 years ago on the same subject and is still very good
#and also im realizing from what ive had spoiled sounds like he used as the blueprint for this one#i.e. 'two seemingly random examples to give you a false sense of security then a surprise important third thats the secret real subject#of the video and the rest was simply getting you in the mood so to speak'#also for anyone wanting to see him talk more about being Not Straight: his video on the outsiders is very good even#if you like me have not seen it or read any lovecraft#oh my god wait what if he wanted to make a plagiarism joke but wouldve felt too bad doing it to someone else so he just.#''plagiarized'' his own video💀💀#cause i remember in the three stories one he talked about literally wanting to do that like copy someone else's format as a joke#(then immediately fess up and go 'see that sucks' dw) but ended up not bc he felt like even as an obvious joke that was a shitty thing to#do to someone else#im just saying he had both motive and means#im gonna have to rewatch the three youtube stories one right before i watch the new one to make sure its fresh in my#mind and compare because if he did that would be THE funniest possible way to scratch that itch
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Thinking about how Nathaniel pronounces some words with added emphasis
#;out of time.#the three examples that come to mind:#when HWR is like 'I know it ALL. Cause I've seen it all.'#when Kang's like 'So I took CONTROL.' [...] 'Today we conquer ETERNITY.'#idk it just scratches my brain the right way#anyway I have like 45 minutes till this cyberpunk update finishes downloading so time to make some icons methinks
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The doobles I did of nightlight in class :]
Violence and sadness undercut.
Most of these were drawn in class on days where I forgot to bring something to eat before class...
#nearly posted these on the wrong account but i posted them as a draft first to check the tags... woops x_x#poor lil nightlight became my stressball as i starved to death u_u#welcome home#welcome home oc#wh#wh oc#chicken scratch#nightlight#artists on tumblr#a good chuck of the first drawings were done soon after i had seen reference images that i based nightlights pajamas on...#i should probably do that again since they turn up much better then i use references .w."#Nightlights lore was that they appeared in only like 6 episodes and had a speaking role in like 4.#the last episode they showed up in was when a big storm hit the neighborhood really hard. they were the first to show up at wally's house#seeking shelter as the rain came right into their tree house. though the episode more and more neighbors join wally at their house for#various reasons. half way though nightlight is no longer visable in the group that has gathered at wally's house. at the end of the episode#everyone is gathered in wally's liveing room but nightlight is the only one not there. i haven't decided on anything other than they#'got lost'#somewhere dark where their cheeks slowly flicker and die leaveing them to wander in pitch black.#.... i know its very mean but the imagery was prettyyyy...#i was toying with the idea of them more or less losing what they would have for a mind and becoming a rabid husk like zombie#but idk if i like that version of an outcome... *shrugs*#also i stabed them in archeology class just cuz i was really really hungery ._. this has no lore other than i was bullying them.#also you can see me trying to give nightlight a nose... this didnt stay very long xD
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guy who's been doing a lot of weird musing on death and grief, trying to do anything else: hm, getting a lot of weird death and grief vibes from this...
#disclaimer that i am fine! shit's just sort of weird rn#just grammy died at the end of last week and it hasn't hit the way it ought to yet so i'm at a weird point kind of sub-grief#and with that and the thing i have been writing i am hmm it's pretty heavily in#on my mind. not in tho i guess that is also true#&fuckin. oh let me see if the library has an audiobook of the stand! the stand? the novel where most of earth dies in the first half?#yeah that'll put you in a less morbid state of mind dude#anyway. all that to say. so much (for) startdust is going to have a very strange texture in my memory#but it also scratches the itch in the middle of my mind right now so like thanks i guess
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ah i see. only rich and popular people make it to where they wanna go. i get it now
#just sitting here not even feeling that bad and my mind is instantly#telling me Do It. take the pills scratch yourself do anything that will peave a mark because thats the only way you#know how to let pwople know youre struggling brcause youre the worst at asking for things like comfort and friendship bc u dont deserve it#for real man im having to start to set reminders to remind me to actually eat because every day is just so blank that i just sit theough it#and honest to god forget to eat. at all. and its being interpreted as 'wanting to lose weight' when its actually the fact that#i dont want to feed myself anymore. i dont like me. i will do anything that will indirectly rwsult in Unalive because Holy Shit this hurta#i dont. have much twthering me down anymore. i really dont. my friends dont check in (reasonably so) bc im ass at responding#and to everyone else i am the Happy :) Guy who is Never Sad so like SIKE lol#(standing under a large icicle) oh nooo i sure hope this doesnt fall right onto my noggin and end me :)#local idiot sad#idk guess i gotta do something at least. to mess with so i can see a physical reaction ro rhis shit
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the notes on this are insane
is he the reason for everything that has ever happened in this show? yes. has he actually appeared in animation for more than one scene? no.
#losing my mind over this in the best way possible#and yeah the scratched out eyes#showing how Philip has DELIBERATELY tried to erase the memory of what he did to his brother#also - why bring Caleb back as the Golden Guard countless times? is that to revive him as a companion that he can control or what?#what has he been USING the golden guards for all this time???#other than just carrying out his bidding#like there’s probably more to it than just that right??? hope we get some answers (I bet we will)#the owl house#toh spoilers
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