#scott speaks

[swag-system]

Just woke up. Hello...

[fartass427]

breekon and hope i miss you come back i love you

[vividrogue]

Life Updates~

Unrelated to most things here but I have news: I just came back from my first consultation for top surgery!

I'll probably need a double incision, which I figured anyway, but I'm glad to find out that my scars can be separate! The surgeon was very clear on setting up expectations for results and what I'm looking to tailor to my own body. I'm aiming for a very masculine cut/presentation and as flat as realistically possible with little visible scar tissue; I agree that scars are beautiful and show a person's journey, however, I know that I want little visibility for myself personally.

One thing that I wasn't aware of was apparently there is an additional surgical procedure that you can get to help hook up your nerve endings for the nipple grafts. I, of course, expect sensation to be altered by top surgery (especially double incision) but I do want to preserve sensation in the nips as much as possible!! I'll have to go to a separate consultation with a second surgeon but they'll both work on me the same day.

I lastly had some concerns with what pain medications I'll be prescribed; my family has a large, ugly history with opioid addiction and I desperately do not want to be apart of it. The surgeon was grateful that I brought it up and assured me that this procedure is very low risk for folks with these concerns, even for folks who are afraid of relapsing themselves are extremely low risk for this surgery. With that being said, he also made a note to have me on something that isn't as intensive (he said some medication that started with a T, but I can't quite remember the rest), it was comforting for me to have that concern recognized as this is something that literally keeps me up at night.

Now I wait! Literally can't do anything until the surgeon center and insurance people finish exchanging information on me, so I wait 1-2 weeks until my NEXT appointment where they'll draw on me or whatever (incision cuts). Really really REALLY hoping and praying that I can get on the slab before the end of the year!! I'll try give updates, if my anxiety doesn't convince me out of it.

I started this at the end of March this year so I'm glad all the waiting is finally paying off, I've been so fucking stressed out about it, it's not even funny. I'm so happy to finally be this close :,]

[wr4th-of-the-gods]

Adam just brought a bug inside the studio and got upset when I killed it. Fuckin pussy.

[fartass427]

me with 3seph and b+h and peter lukas and sideshow bob and smoker and doc ock and willem dafoe and

[jetlaggingbehind]

thinking about wallace wells. thinking about going through hook ups like tissue paper, never believing anybody will stick around besides scott, who's here only because he has nowhere else to go, and you let him stay anyway even though he doesnt pay the rent. one of the only consistent people in your life, someone you might've actually genuinely liked straight up dying and leaving you with a sudden void of an empty apartment and a cold spot in a futon. thinking about immediately getting wasted and bringing a guy home, someone whose name you won't remember but it's okay because youre only in it for the sex— you dont believe in sparks, after all. believing that scott's conception of his one true girl was a joke because you just don't think you'll ever love anyone like that. kissing someone on a movie set because it's something to do, because he's dressed in the costume of somebody you cared for, because it's all manufactured, false realities and layers of separation deep enough for you to brush off his pleas for connection. thinking about going to paris after everything, the city of love, as tacky as that is, saying you're only there to spend money. but despite the insistence on irony you meet a guy— a fellow canadian, actually, twin foreigners in an unfamiliar place. someone who actually wants to stick around, who follows you through the city to see the sights and seems to genuinely like you. it can't be genuine, though— can't possibly be a reason to stay beyond a few hookups. so you stop at the river and you kiss him to get it over with...

but instead you see sparks.

[strivia]

Feeling real normal about Old Wallace going "I was joking you idiot" to Old Scott, and then just having "hey buddy, sorry your old self started this mess" energy towards Young Scott and immediately helping him even if he makes a point about complaining about it.

Got this energy.

[polychromaic]

sharing the silly winny sketchpage I made cuz she was a big hit, look upon my silly pathetic failgirl

detail close-ups under break!

[mysticotta]

@hydeomonster

I drew damsel duo but super gay and sparkly!!! I guess this could count as my Valentine’s piece.

[swag-system]

The moon last night. You care

[fartass427]

yall i want swansea so bad jts not even funny old man likers that can draw pleaaase find him❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[vividrogue]

I long to have the sun kiss my chest

I yearn for it, so much so that it feels like life and death

The delays put forth by insurance companies is absolute chicanery. It feels as if everytime I take a step forward, I take 3 steps back, I have never felt so fucking hopeless. It's not like it's an all together rejection, I'm just in this fucking state of Limbo until they can make up their minds and it feels like I'm screaming out of pain and no one is listening.

I hate waiting for the insurance teams to decide whether I live or die.

Until then, I will continue to long for the sun

[wr4th-of-the-gods]

Rebel. Blow up the safe. Get your donuts, man.

eric still will not give me my sweet treats, he locked my donuts away in a safe along with my wallet so i can’t get more :(

not even calling him dad or father, he doesn’t deserve that title </3

[wr4th-of-the-gods]

Nice to know this shit is finally fuckin working!! Took Larky boy AGES to figure out this stupid site

[tictacbud]

Avatar changing time!

(Picrew is here: https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/644129 also I need that kermit shirt in my life)

[robo-writing]

If you ever managed to record him he’d be one of those guys who are so firmly snuggled into you that they become a second skin, in such a state of bliss that his voice rumbles when you ask him if he’s comfortable and with a tone filled with nothing less but pure content he mutters a low “yesh, ’course I am”

The moments short lived of course, because the moment he sees the phone in your hand his head immediately lifts up, your laughter ringing through the air at his angry little “delete that right now.”

You don’t. Logan pretends he’s mad for about an hour before he caves in and comes back to bed with a new rule: no phones allowed.