#schnick

[nickismyspiritanimal]

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

But if we don't get Buck shaving Eddies Mustache like Nick shaving Schmidts mustache then I don't want it. I need that parallel in my life so I'm manifesting it.

[torpublishinggroup]

Devilman Crybaby meets Marvel’s Venom in Exordia, the science fiction debut of Seth Dickinson, author of The Traitor Baru Cormorant. 

Ssrin Character Illustration by Julie Dillon

WHAT’S IT ABOUT

Meet Anna Sinjari, a refugee and disaffected office worker eking an existence in New York City. Her life is about to be upended by Ssrin, an alien with eight serpent heads, no qualms with cold-blooded murder, and an appetite for turtles (yum).

The universe is governed by seven passions, seven patterns which appear again and again, across species and across time. Anna and Ssrin are bound by the last and the greatest. The cosmos itself ships their very souls. Specifically for them, that means they’ll have to outmaneuver spies, armies, and government agencies to save humanity from a diabolical alien entity, hellbent on pinioning the souls of every creature on earth.

Exordia is expansive adventure science fiction that reads like a race-against-the-clock thriller in the vein of Michael Crichton, but steeped in the irony, humor, and pain of the Internet age. An alien-human epic for those who've always rooted for the monster.

[schnickledooger]

One of my fav bits in the Disabled Tyrant's Beloved Pet Fish is the fact that second prince's Mu Tianzhao's arch nemesis is a small little carp!

XDDDD

The fact that he hates Li Yu sooooo much the mere sight of him sends him into a near catatonic state of panic and rage that all he can do is viciously fantasize eating the little carp in a fish stew! HAHAHAHA

Prince Jing: you know what, imma capitalize on this *sneaks onto roof of his older brothers palace house arrest and drops plushie resembling Li Yu's carp form into his soup*

Mu Tianzhao: *sees the Fish of Misfortune* SCREAMS LIKE ALL SEVEN HELLS ARE AFTER HIM "DONT HURT ME! DONT FIND ME! HELP! SAVE ME!"

[inbarfink]

[wottanightsstuff]

As this year approaches its natural conclusion, I think it is important to mention the tumblr sexymen, who, for one reason or another, did not get to be this year

MOK SWAGGER (Rock & Rule )

truly a shame, just imagine what I could have done with those lips of his.

STARBOY. (DISNEY'S 'WISH' FIRST SCRIPTS)

At first it may have seemed that Magnífico was a tumblr sexyman wannabe, but now we know that they sacrificed the one they had for a fucking luma.

and of course

Bert Schnick (shock tratment)

He may have faked a disability but at least people remember the movie for him.

[cornlordkarl]

*looking at my annual bingo card* Picking up shock treatment in 2024 is definitely not on it

[incorrectrockyandshockyquotes]

Nation: Cosmo and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Bert, sighing: What did Cosmo do?

Nation: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Cosmo: Who wants a steering wheel?

[pupil-of-law]

@mettleborn

Though it was late in the evening, and the townhouse had been empty and silent all day, the sound of the busy thoroughfare outside, uproarious with the traffic of pedestrians and the swift flow of horses and hansoms, now thrummed down below. Adelheid’s brother was not looking at her, but examining a stack of papers at the desk he stood at.

‘My judgment is final,’ he said curtly. ‘Indeed if it was not before, you may be assured that it now most certainly is. I could not have made a greater error in sending you into the field. Were you not my own flesh and blood I would not have begrudged the Ottomans the diplomatic right to your imprisonment and sentence… But you’re home now.’ He seemed to soften, slightly, and even lifted his small beetle-black eyes to her. He came out from behind the desk to approach his sister, shadows under his eyes showing in the dim light from the lamp on the glass-topped coffee table where Adelheid sat. Friedrich Zeitzler’s hair was sparse and macassared; a silky gradation at the temples of pale grey to darker brown partly obscured by a pair of small round spectacles. A dark, smooth moustache sat above his colourless lips. He reached out perfunctorily to take Adelheid’s palm and meet her eye. ‘Dr Joachim Behren. He remains a man of significant influence and generous sponsorship; you may have read some of his old speeches at the Reichstag during your school days. He is a keen member of the International Eugenics Congress, and believes in good breeding. This is a high compliment.’ Pausing for a moment to appreciate the limpness of Adelheid’s recedent hand, and to notice her eyes glittering with fury, her lips parting to issue an objection, he frowned in incredulity.

‘Don’t you dare speak. Your conduct makes it clear you haven’t the slightest concept what we are are attempting to achieve in this war. Do you think that I - that Germany - are such spendthrifts of human life that we would allow the casual larceny of an entire generation, for so common a reason as you might employ when deciding what evening dress to wear? Do you truly think the world is so fashioned? That the human good comes about by the mere whim of politicians. No. Peace and prosperity for mankind takes violence you cannot imagine, and sacrifice which you will soon appreciate. You are German. You owe this duty to your homeland and by God I will make sure you fulfil it! Like the rest of us.’

Suddenly there were footsteps, and a flurry of movement from between two high stone pillars at the entrance of the room. Zeitzler turned, rubbing his reddened temple with distress, to the noise. ‘Sebastian, is that you?’ ‘Guten Abend Geheimrat,’ came a deep bass voice in reply, and two men lumbered in. Sebastian, in shirtsleeves and a sweat-slick brow from dancing and drinking all night at the Princesse De Léon’s debutante ball, was smiling victoriously; his moist bright eyes catching for a moment to fix on Adelia, before sweeping away again. His companion, Baron Sipolje, wearing his Order of Maria Theresa on his breast, was an expensive looking man, effete and well-groomed, Zeitzler’s closest confidante. He made a low bow when he noticed Adelheid, and gave her a sinister, mincing smile as if he knew her fate better than she did. Throwing his hat and stick onto the armchair next to her almost as if to see if she would flinch, he noted: ‘Dear heart, what a face. Mata Hari act not quite work out, hm? I told your dear brother as much before you left. No, no, see-' he made so bold as to reach out his stubby fingers to her cheek to turn her face to the light, tutting and shaking his head. ‘Far too striking. Those cheekbones.’

Rather than aiding his sister, Zeitzler had already turned to Sebastian to study his agent with a long, circumspect look. Under its cold pressure, Sebastian merely leant back against a bookcase and spoke for the first time in a hoarse, soft voice; his eyes heavy but serene and untroubled. ‘Domine, me immundum.’ There was another brief silence, before Zeitzler responded: ‘Non, purus es.’ Sebastian swallowed, and when Zeitzler told him to go and rest he did so without another word.

‘You will not see him again,’ Friedrich turned his head to address Adelheid, before going to fetch the papers from his desk for her to sign. ‘He leaves tomorrow for the Belgian Frontier. If he returns, it will not be to Germany. Your sole and chief concern from this night on is the happiness of your husband. This is for your own good, as well as the good of your family and your country. Do we understand one another?’

[sucka99]

[hankhill420]

Bert Schnick after putting Brad in a mental institution for what was probably clinical depression and erectile dysfunction:

[nickismyspiritanimal]

homoerotic sitcom friendships

[ddf-deepcuts]

Normaler Alltag für Bob

[emmacashmannn]

[schnickledooger]

Me: reading MDZS danmei book 2 featuring DRUNK Lan Zhan playing tag with Wei Ying and deliberately letting his honey catch him and frikkin LOOPING his BOUND arms (tied ith his headband mind you) over his head

LZ: "You caught me" (staring deep into WY's eyes)

Me: SHRIEKS AND PUNCHES HOLE IN MY WALL

THESE TWO WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

[inbarfink]

[deschainartnerd]

Just a routine checkup, eh, viewers?

[torpublishinggroup]

This advertisement is for Can’t Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne, a cozy fantasy steeped in sapphic romance about one of the Queen’s private guards and a powerful mage who want to open a bookshop and live happily ever after…if only the world would let them. Cover art by Irene Huang.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

All Reyna and Kianthe want is to open a bookshop that serves tea. Worn wooden floors, plants on every table, firelight drifting between the rafters…all complemented by love and good company. Thing is, Reyna works as one of the Queen’s private guards, and Kianthe is the most powerful mage in existence. Leaving their lives isn’t so easy.

But after an assassin takes Reyna hostage, she decides she’s thoroughly done risking her life for a self-centered queen. What follows is a cozy tale of mishaps, mysteries, and a murderous queen throwing the realm’s biggest temper tantrum.