#scared i wont be able to do it all. But remembering again that im just so grateful to be able to do any of it

[drzone]

feeling hopeful as spring comes along feeling maybe joyous and maybe like hey . gonna be all okay.

[featherymainffins]

I hate how this is all my fault because I am the stupid fool who broke no contact and now look at me! Look at me having to prepare myself for being hurt for god knows how long!

[cielospeaks]

aime tachi plot: everything has to make sense, there are rules for the story even tho its self indulgent, yadda yadda, character development, progression consistency

dreamdom hearts plot: anyways the dream works au versions of fe characters and my oc recruit enjoyable single dw villains to go have slightly creepypasta shenanigans with a presumably dead oc

[whole-circus]

Hihi I recently started reading your works and stchnvdhnifbmb I'm obsessed now lol

I must ask how the creeps would react to someone who was there for them before they became the way they are now? I'm quite curious (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；)

Take care and hydrate <333

Creepypastas with reader that had knew them before tragic eventes

➥ with Jeff the Killer, Homicidal Liu, "Ticci" Toby, Eyeless Jack, Ben Drowned

Ahh you waited so long for this Im so sorry!T^T

Also you guys have no idea how sweet that is! Im glad that someone likes to read my scribble! <3 Lots of love and also remember to hydrate! I choose couple of pastas, but feel free to inform me if you would like someone else!

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

☆ Jeff the Killer

During one of this normal days, or maybe during calm night? You finally saw him..You were looking at eachothers, not sure what to do - sure, he may be a killer now..but this killer was once your friend? Does he even recognize you? But to your suprise, he just started laughing. It wasn't his casual maniac laughter..this one were more friendly, just like the laugh of him you remembered. The laugh of your best friend. He remembered you..and even if he is way diffrent now, then the part of him is still your best friend. You are finally something good in his miserable life, and he almost felt normal once again. Its funny how you make a man like him smile and sigh in relief, just by your presence. And he doesn't care what he did do somehow deserved you again - all he could do is being grateful for that.

☆ Homicidal Liu

You manage to meet Liu on one, ordinary night. Even if he looked, oh so diffrent, then inside you could still recognize his past self. When it comes to Liu, he couldnt believe his luck in that moment. He craves for sense of normalcy like nothing else, its his only true wish..but now you are here again? He start to remember all this nice moments from his childhood..you were in all of them! Even if he didnt recognize you at first, he felt so many strong emotions and could find something familiar..and like that after a quick chat you finally were in eachothers arms once again. There you were..his only hope and only love, you have no idea how long he had waited for you - and when he finally got you, he wont let you go again.

☆ "Ticci" Toby

After everything he had done, Toby really became all this names they used to call him in school - he was a monster, a freak in fact. Could you even look at him in the same, sweet way you used to as a kid? He was scared, constantly scared..so he didnt made a first move. Until that day. When he finally saw you again, he finally felt at peace. The feeling when you were again in his arms felt like coming home from a long journey. He was able to feel the same thing, the same love and care from you. And he already felt much better, just from seeing your smile again.

☆ Eyeless Jack

He was sure you wouldn't recognize him..now he was a monster after all, a inhuman being, a demon straight from poeple nightmares. But he wished, he dreamed that you would look at him in the same way - they way you used to when everything was normal. Meeting you again made him so incredible happy..he almost feel human again! All he could do was just hug you, and sob quietly.. you had so much to talk about, but you have time for that..the only thing that matter is you right now.

☆ Ben Drowned

Ben wasnt the same person you used to cherish and care for..shit, he wasnt even a person, a human anymore. So was he still worth of your friendship? Your sweet words and hugs? Was he even worth looking at you? But he finally decide to meet you once more, he had all eternity and he needs you to make it worth exisitng. So when he showed up at your doors? He had it all planned, the things he will do and say..but just seeing you made him tear up and look in guilt to the ground. His always cool and smug persona, was replaced with the seriousness and culpability. And when you took him into your warm embrace? When you started to shush him ,a dcomfort him? He felt at peace once again, almost like nothing else matters but you both. You already made him the happiest and nothing can compare to you, nothing else in this world.

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

[crow-ur-beloved]

various jrwi headcanons because the worms in my brain (potential autism) wont shut up. no real plot spoilers except for one, but its marked :]

the suckening:

shilo is like vampire immunocompromised, which added to the pile of reasons his mom used to keep him inside the castle because she didnt want him to immediately get 37 different diseases and Die. (if vampires can have allergies then id like to think they can also get sick. i dont actually know if thats possible in the vtm system but i dont care they can in my heart)

genderfuck/genderpunk afab emizel. i feel like thats the only label he'd use, if he had to have one. i dont think hed label his sexuality because he wants to be an enigma. but he Definitely likes men.

bizley said in the qna something that can Only let me think of shilo as aromantic. maybe aro And ace... i dont remember what he said exactly aughhgh i wish i did...

shilo fidgets with his hands like all the time. his mother and uncle tried to get him to stop and sit still because it wasnt very princely and whatnot but my boy needs a fidget toy. i think hed go craaaazy with an infinity cube

i feel like me saying arthur bennett is a bisexual doesnt even count as a headcanon like i think thats just a given. i feel like itd be more surprising if i said i thought he was straight. all beautiful beautiful vampire men have to be lgbtq. its the law actually

arthur never officially broke up with mary. mans just Left one day without warning. probably left a note that said "sorry. -arthur" on it. i doubt he had it in him to say goodbye to her face or his reasoning for it (he thought hed inevitably hurt her because of what he is and what he did to the people he loved in the past, because bad luck seems to follow him everywhere... oughh he makes me ill). he definitely used finding a new lead on anya somewhere else in the country as a good reason to dip. at least, as good a reason as it couldve been for him.

maybe controversial but i 100% think arthur and magnus had a one-night stand at the beginning of their relationship, before magnus met jerome, and they never talked about it again and pretend it never happened. cannot explain how real this is to me.

riptide:

ftm chip who 100% innately knew he was a dude since the moment he could think. like when the black rose pirates picked him up, he got confused when they started referring to him as a girl at first. probably never got The Talk from them, so was Very confused when he hit puberty. Reuben reluctantly helped him steal to pay for top surgery.

since tritons live at the bottom of the ocean, they would have eyes that are far more sensitive to light to allow them to see better since little light gets all the way down there. gillion was Immediately blinded by the sun when he surfaced and still gets headaches from how bright it is in the oversea, but they've gotten better the longer he's been up there. tritons are built to adapt to all kinds of conditions, so his eyes have slowly been getting a darker bluish-purple the longer he spends above the ocean; they were originally more of a light blue-grey.

in tandem with the last one, chip thinks hes either going crazy or a bad friend because he Swears gill's eyecolor is different than last week but how could that be possible, thats not just something he can do, right? why would he be able to do that???

if gillion gets knocked onto his back without warning he does that thing that sharks do where they get paralyzed for a bit when they get flipped upside down. its scary because he can see everything but cant do anything. he also definitely forgot to tell chip and jay about this fact and scared the Shit out of them the first time it happened around them.

gillion can also change his sex like some fish can. its the reason he can lay eggs. i think this makes it safe to say genderfluid/nonbinary/generally trans gillion tidestrider is highly possible and even probable in this headcanon. what im saying is t4t fish n chips.

not to headcanon all my favs as trans but i cant help it. it is the highest honor i can bestow upon them. anyways. mtf jay ferin. ava always knew and was the first person jay came out to. jay was also 100% named jayson after her father and went by jay most of her life anyway as a nickname and just decided to stick with it instead of picking anything else. may was always very openly-supportive of her. jayson was as supportive as a generally strict, overbearing, unsupportive-in-everything father can be. jay totally came out to him and the first thing he said to her was something like, "as long as it doesnt interfere with your navy training," and may promptly kicked him under the table and made him say something nice.

kiras trans too btw. she came out before jay and helped jay discover she was trans. and that she liked women.

(spoilers for 109 and beyond) chip can't entirely remember what he looks like. everytime he focuses on the illusion of hiding that hes practically just a skeleton now, it changes just a bit. freckles in the wrong places, the wrong shade of orange for his flame tattoos, too much light in his eyes, too much muscle on his arms. jay notices it but cant bring herself to say anything. she knows the illusion is meant to keep everyone from worrying, but, everytime she sees something off about it, she just remembers what he really looks like underneath, and that somehow feels worse.

blood in the bayou:

all these bitches gay as hell. kian is pan. rands got a lot of internalized homophobia. rolan probably too. its the 80s, man.

apotheosis (haven't finished it yet so idk how true these'll be lol):

agender rumi. godbless.

also rumis a theater kid. he got the lead in every musical he auditioned for because he could literally just shapeshift. theyd make up a new identity and appearance for every role and get to know everyone on the cast and then mysteriously drop off the face of the planet as that person when the production was over and nobody would know it was them.

peter has actually tried All Kinds of things. weed. yoga. multilevel marketing schemes. you name it, big chance hes done it at least once and didnt like it. he doesnt know how he ends up in the situations to try it, either.

[ganondoodle]

i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)

i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-

and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)

by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)

its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )

i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that

what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode

[ultra-raging-ghost]

I REACHED POST LIMIT SO HERES MY POST FROM 9:20 ONWARD

"Goodbye my three little ones, your father has to go"

"Im sorry chat, i guess ill just speak from the heart. the way i lost dapper and pomme i dont think i really.. had time to process, so losing him like this feels like losing all three of them at the same time"

Visiting bagis... poor zeno fucking died to a rooster LMAO i missed bagis place so fucking bad

searching for pepito.... where is my baby.... where is my little pepito, there pepito is

Bad doesnt really know what to do with himself, hes still sad but richas is like. Officially gone. Which is a crazy thing to process. I was having a hard time dealing with it but i think richas' final goodbye made me feel a lot better about it,it doesnt feel like theres a nail in the back of my brain now, im a little more content with this at least. Wont really be happy about it, but more content with it

We're gonna go leave a richas flower (blue orchid) at bagi's old base <3 just like how we left a cornflower at a place special to pomme.

hehehe agent 18/panks_ is in chat and theyre tormenting bad for fun

Offering pepito the opportunity to visit one last place, bad plans on coming back and visiting a couple final places sometime soon, not tonight but soon. Probably gonna end after pepito picks where to go

pepito cant think of anywhere, bads picking one more place to go

PEPITO TIME AT THE OFFICIAL DAPPER TIME SPOT??? LETS GOOOOO

Pepitos gonna be temporarily dapper while in the official dapper time spot <333

bads back, i got so comfortable in the old house that i forgot we have to leave. Just a wave of sadness washed over me, it feels like leaving home all over again, it feels like we should be able to walk into the old spawn from dappers train station and see pierre and pomme and etoiles again

pomme in chat... assuring bad she and dapper wont be leaving any time soon. Bad promises us he has some really fun stuff hes been working on he thinks we'll enjoy, this journey isnt over

while waiting for pepito we're reminiscing on when he had to triangulate the Dont have Your Gun thing that was playing that he couldnt find LMAO

currently visiting the old subway bad was building with dapper underground.... the new terrain generation generated a FULL end city RIGHT next to it!!!!

gonna visit bobby fields another day, thats another day issue, but dapper wanted to go see it with him lol

Bad found out Lullah and Richas were leaving yesterday, sounds like he didnt know chay was leaving till today

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO BOO IS HERE!!!! HELLO BOO!!!!!!

Pepitos playing around in the balloons Boo left <33

Bad: Yeah i remember when pomme and dapper came in one of these end cities and scared the muffins out of me Pomme: ?????? Pomme: bro you were dead Bad: I STILL REMEMBER.......

We're gonna go play Wordlos (or however you spell it) one last time before leaving the old spawn <3 gonna see if we can get it to work!!!

kinda works!!! Kinda!!! It mostly works!!!! gonna play!!!!!

"I am so proud of your spanish uncle bad!!! its a great advance to know how to explain something, its the most important thing"

We're looking at the paintings, this is it for the day. Richas logged off with bads statue painting so hes probably never gonna see that again LMAO "thats why we get screenshots"

Pepitos saying a little goodnight to the ghosties <33 pepitos gonna eat all of us up because we're so cute. "I see everything, too. EVERYTHIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG". Pepitos telling us to rest, eat, and drink water, and do our favorite things. We deserve it, to remember not to be sad it ended but be happy it happened at all <3

Bads planning on streaming tomorrow, hes not 100% sure what we'll be doing but he isnt gonna let this crank his steam

Pepitos planning on getting on tomorrow! or whenever! pepito doesnt know when pepito gets on LMAO

Thats all for todays stream, ending at 10:15, goodnight bad, richas, pomme, and dapper <3

[oliveoil422]

I wanna see you before I die

DESTIEL FIC

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

‘I wanna see you before I die,’ I thought as I felt more of my life being drained from me but I can't see you because you are dead. I wish I could have just told you I loved you too before the empty took you. I want to yell and scream at you for making that deal. How could you be so dumb Cass. You have always been there for me. I need you now god damn it! Where are you, you winged dick? All i can think about is how i never got to say i love you back i do i really do Cass i wish you could have told me sooner, why didn't you? You never were scared of anything, hell we even fought Lucifer together! Why couldn't you have said something? Why couldn't you have given me the chance?

Remember when things were much more simple when you were an angel of the lord and I was the man you, “Gripped tight and raised from perdition.” I've known lost all my life, I've lost pretty much everyone I ever cared about but you? Thats different you were suppose to be the one i didn't lose, the one i couldn’t lose. And now here we are, you sitting in the empty, probably cold and alone while I'm here on earth fighting for my life which is coming to an end. Sam doesn't know it yet but i can feel it im not going anywhere. This nail is holding me together at this point. I know it's probably impossible but if i make it to heaven i hope it's with you, i hope the memories that i relive is with you i wish we could have made more.

My whole life has been pretty shitty. I mean watching my mom die then my dad spiraled because of it. The one thing I got right was Sammy, I raised that kid while I was still one myself and he turned out pretty good. Jack, if you can hear my thoughts my prayers please keep him safe, keep the one thing i didn't mess up safe, keep my pain in the ass little brother safe.keep him safe because i won't be able to anymore like i have been his whole life. His whole life I took care of him cause without me he had nobody even though John clearly loved him over me he didn't show it often. Who is going to take care of him while i'm gone? I shouldn't have let this happen. I should have watched out for that nail. Why didn't I look out for it? Dad taught me better than that! I shouldn't be in this situation. It's my own damn fault that I am! Now I'm going to leave Sammy all alone because of my carelessness.

Cass, I know our time was short but it meant alot to me, and it clearly meant alot to you as well. If I ever see you again I wont need an explanation about why you left the way you did or why you said the things you did because I get it. I truly get it. I love you too that's what i would tell you if i ever got the chance to see you again i hope one day i will see some version of you, even a fragment of you would be something, Castiel, former angel of the lord, you mean alot to me thank you forever giving me the thought of day. You pieced me together when you left that hand print you made me whole you made me, me. To answer your question from many years ago, no I don't think I deserve to be saved. I think that you deserve everything good in life, i think you deserve to be saved. But Dean Winchester? Hell no. and everyone knew it too no one thought i should be saved most people wished i was still in the pit some days i agree i mess most things up in my life, i even messed whatever we had because i didn't speak on my feelings or even notice i could feel that way until you made it known to me that i could feel that way that you felt that way.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

author note:if anyone likes this I will write more!

[docwritesshit]

HEY ANGST LEMME SLIDE IN THERE-

Redson x Sister!reader Angst as redson is kinda mad about her dating now and then they get into a huge fight and some PIF mother comfort please and a happy ending? One shot please...........

Ooooooh? Gladly!

Redson x Sis!Reader Angst

“YOU CANT JUST GO OUT LIKE THAT AND NOT FUCKING TELL ME!” Redson exclaimed, flames already starting to spurt out the strays of his hair. You growled, slamming you hand down on the table

“It was a spur of the moment thing! I texted you the first chance I got!” You shot back. She scoffed.

“That’s hardly any notice! And how long have you known this one?”

“That’s why it was a date. The point is to get to know each other! And I had fun! They didn’t even do anything!” You explained. Redson gave you a stern glare.

“You are old enough to be courted now. And you know that you have to run potential suitors by Father and Mother, and me. You should have done so before going off.” Redson clarified. You gaped

“Do you hear yourself? It’s modern times! Many don’t do that anymore! And Mother said that I can pursue who I want until I’m ready to marry them!”

“That was when things were different for us. With Father back-“

“Again with Father! You are so uptight now that he’s back. You are so desperate for their approval, it’s laughable. And so pitiful"

Redson paused, looking you in the eyes, a mixture of pain and flames of rage swirling inside them. Your gaze softened

"Im sorry, that was-"

Redsons' chair screeched as they pushed themselves from the table. She stalked away.

"Go ahead then. Go live your fucking life. Seek your own approval from the swine and let them break your heart. I wont be the shoulder for you to cry on when they do." He stated, turning the corner and disappearing.

Cut to you now in your room, going between curling into a ball and crying and punching your pillows. You couldn't see why this was such a big deal. It was such a little thing. Why did Reds-

Someone cleared their throat, making you whirl around to see your mother standing in your doorway, standing tall with a book in her hands. She smiled at you.

"May i come in?" She asked. You wiped your tears and nodded. Princess Iron Fam closed the door behind her, seeming to float over to the edge of your bed. She beckoned you over, sitting on the mattress. You reluctantly shuffled over and flopped down next to her.

She flipped open the book she carried, laying it on top of her lap. You glanced at the first page. Your eyes widened, seeing a beautifully drawn picture. A picture if… something familiar.

There was little you, only a toddler, sitting in the dirt with a circle drawn around and little Redson standing in-front of you, wielding a stick with his tiny chest puffed all the way out.

Your mother smiled softly, caressing the page gently.

"He always was your knight, in his mind. At least, when you two weren't causing havoc around the home."

She flipped to the next page, where you two were a bit older and he stood in-front of you as you cowered behind him, scared of a little bug that was just crawling around.

"He always protected you. He might snark and say the petty comment more than the genuine compliment, but he cares" She affirmed. She then closed the book, and looked at you.

"He is afraid he might not be able to be your knight here. And he cares too much to think you can handle yourself. Prove that you can, my little spark" She said. Tears pricked your eyes again. She tutted, wrapping you up in a hug.

"We all care, darling. We are all here. Just remember that," She murmured. You cried into her shoulder, sobs racking your body.

She was your sibling. He was your shield. You just needed to be able to proved yourself as the sword

[thesimulacrasimp]

OMG THOSE EPS--- I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS I CANT---

HAZBIN HOTEL EP 7-8 SPOILERS WARNING‼️

Okay so Charlie actually didnt forget Vaggie for lying for that long, which is understandable, really.

So Charlie ACTUALLY MADE A DEAL WITH ALASTOR NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIMES VAGGIE TOLD HER NOT TO.

Rosie is really sweet lady, but im not really vibing her voice

But i really DO vibe the cannibals. They all have this cool aesthetic n i really love that!

Carmillas n Vaggies song was also really good!

Also when Vaggies wings SUDDENLY N OUT OF NOWHERE came out i was like: OKAAAAAYY... IM NOT SURE WHY BUT GO OFF IG!!

ALSO OMG THIS SONG WHERE CHARLIE IS TRYING TO BRING CANNIBALS ON HER SIDE WAS SO COOL, ESPECIALLY THE END PART THAT WAS IN DA TRAILER, ITS SO COOL JSHSBSJSJ

Also they so cute n silly, I love em

AND AWWW THEY ALL GOT ALONG N BECOME FRIENDS 😭😭😭😭 I JUST KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE NEXT EP N THIS MAKES IT LOOK SO SAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭

the 8th ep...

OMG VOX IS BACK HIIIIIII!!!!!!! I MISSED U SO MUCHHH

AWWW NIFTY DID THIS LIL THINGY FOR ALASTOR ITS SO CUTE

Also can we talk bout how Charlie n Vaggie FINALLY KISSED??? I CANT IMMA JUST----

Im really so glad that Alastor is actually protecting the hotel and all people in it, hes probably doing it just because he have no choice, but i really hope that he do care about Charlie n everyone else. Also their fighting outfits is really cool. AND THE ANIMATIONS WHEN HE TOOK HIS DEMON FORM WAS SOOOO COOL, IT WAS LIKE IN 3D (maybe it actually was in 3d idk-)

Okay yknow.. When Adam blasted (idk if thats a correct word for that) at Alastor n broke his michrophone and Als voice became so clear, like, without any radio effects, I actually thought that he lost all his abilities, cuz Adam is clearly stronger than Al, and i got so scared becuz that would mean that he wont be able to protect the hotel anymore and maybe even die... But it didnt happen so its all good!!

Also Vox watching this whole fight being so exited for Als death was kinda funny to watch.

Okay.... I dont wanna cry again so can i not talk about sir Pentious? Thank you. All i gotta say, I really happy he managed to confess his feelings to Cherri before he... yknow...

Also Charlie FINALLY TOOK HER FULL DEMON FORM. N I ACTUALLY WAS NOT EXPECTIN RAZZLE N DAZZLE TO BE A GIANT DRAGONS THAT WAS SO COOL without thinking that one of them died...

Also i immediatly thought that sparing Lute was a mistake. Guess what? IT WAS!! :DDDDDD

ALSO I THROUGH THIS WHOLE FIGHT WAS REALLY HOPING THAT LUCI WILL COME OUT N SLAUGHT ALL THOSE BITHES FOR GOOD. N HE DID!!! I LITERALLY, ALL IN TEARS AFTER SR PENTIOUS' DEATH, WAS SO HAPPY I WAS LIKE: FUCKING FUCK YESSS!!! KILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! '!!'! '! ₽!! 3!&!& ALSO I ADORE THE FACT THAT EVEN IN A FIGHT HES SUCH A SILLY CUTIE PATOOTIE.

And we saw his demon form n its really cool!

ALSO I WAS SO ANGRY WHEN CHARLIE MADE LUCI SPARE ADAM LIKE-- PLS LUCI KILL HIM N LUTE, THEY CLEARLY DONT DESERVE TO LIVE. Also we saw Adams real face which is kinda cool.

ADN MY GIRL NIFFTY DID ALL THE JOB HERSELF, LIKE GOOD JOB GURL! I KHEW WE CAN COUNT ON U.

Okay, at 1st ep i was not sure bout Katies new voice, cuz it clearly was hearable that its a mans voice, but in this ep its actually working! I absolutely loved this: «Nobody gives a shit about you, Tom!» xd

Ok so.... Ill try not to scream... khem- THEYRE CANNON!!!! THEYRE!!! FUCKING!!! CANNON!!!!! IM SO HAPPY U CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND!!!!!!! I FUCKING KHEW THAT THEYLL BE CANNON, IM A FUCKING GENIUS IDC. IK THERE WILL BE SOME PPL THAT WILL BE LIKE: "nOoO tHeY rE nOt cAnNoN iTs pRoBaBlY mIsAnDerStOoDinG....." YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU. THEY ARE CANNON, I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!!! FUCK U IF U THINK THEYRE NOT TOGETHER

JUST LOOK AT THEM THEYRE SO CUTE AAAAAA

Also this last part of the song with Alastor was so strange. Yk english is not my first language so i probably missed alot what he said in that, but i clearly remember that he said something bout his wings n i was like WHAAAAT????? I know i probably just heard it wrong, cuz HE JUST CANT BE AN ANGEL RIGHT?... RIGHT??? He also said smt bout his freedom, so yeah, I think the wings was just a metaphor. But overall he looked really scared for some reason, which is actually so weird. Its so weird to see Alastor actually being scared..

ALSO WE FINALLY SAW LILITH, but sadly didnt hear her voice. N what is weird, it looked like she was on sorta vacathion, and Lute talked with her bout Adam being Killed AND THATS SO WEIRD AHHH I CANT WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT IS HER ROLE IN ALL HERE!!

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT CHARLIE WAS RIGHT?? SINNERS CAN BE REDEEMED. CUZ PENTIOUS APPEARED IN HEAVEN AFTER HIS DEATH (n im really-really happy for him actually, im so glad that he didnt dissapear from the show, cuz he actually was my fav character in the pilot)

aoisjdjdjndndnns i cant wait for season 2!!!! Ig that the main antogonists in this season will finally be VEES?? OHHH IM SO EXITEDDDD

My review/thoughts on eps 1-2

My review/thoughts on eps 3-4

My review/thoughts on eps 5-6

[reigenismyhusband]

10 5 4 for the S/I asks :3

THANK UUUU these are so fun to do thank u!!!!!!!! ask game post here!

also i answered 5 here but i answered it again bc i thought of something else hehe. TY NOEE

4 – Which of the elements best represents your S/I? Which of their aspects does it resonate with? (e.g.: their personality, astrology sign, powers, etc)

OOOOOH this one is so cool, im assuming it means like..elements like fire water etc? ace is definitely more of an earth guy; hes stubborn, hes set in his ways, and he strives to be the best he can. it really relates to his powers too, hes really good at making barriers and defending himself, but when it comes to offense, he gets really scared of hurting people and doesnt like to fight back! hed much rather stand his ground or run away.

5 – Is there any symbolism within your S/I's design that usually goes unnoticed? (e.g. colors in their outfit that reflect their personalities, their favorite flower and it's meaning, etc)

i wanted to answer this again BCCC i think his favorite flowers would be forget me nots, theyre really pretty (and also my favorite irl) but i think itd be a nice symbol of how he feels forgotten in everyday life (ie at school or at home) but reigen and mob help him feel like hes got people that actually care and wont forget him :')

10 – What was the scariest moment of your S/I's life? Did it change any aspect of their being or were they just emotional for a brief period of time over it?

OH BOY. angst time! (short summary for those unfamiliar with mob psycho) so in canon there's an evil spirit that used to be a very powerful psychic that is possessing a young girl. this man's name is mogami, and tldr is he wants to hurt and kill people for reasons that happened in his life. the best psychics in the land are called to try and get him to stop possessing this girl by her dad, but none are successful. ace decides the only way to get him to stop is to send his own spirit into the girls head to psychically drive him out from the inside. while in there, he falls victim to mogami's powerful abilities; mogami traps him in an alternate dimension where he has no powers, no abilities, no friends. for six months ace is trapped in this hell, bullied and abused every day, slowly wearing him down. he has no one; he never meets reigen or mob, his parents are gone, his sister wont talk to him. he gets relentelessly bullied everyday, far more than he even does in real life. mogami's aim is to show him "how the world really works", how people are cruel and how he wants him to be hateful too. ace is able to keep his humanity and kindness even through all of this, but after six months after hes getting beat up Again, he finally snaps and fights back, killing one of his attackers. but before mogami can get ace more in his claws, (either dimple's spirit or mob's, depending on if mob is there) someone finally is able to enter the land ace has been living in and talk him back to reality, reminding him of the people who care about and love him, and hes able to overpower mogami and get out of there.

But. ace remembers those six months like they happened in reality; his time in there really changed him, and hes affected badly by it for a long time. he doesnt talk about the full extent of it for a while, but to the people around him who care, its evident hes changed by it. reigen pats him on the back a little hard once and it sends him into a panic attack, and he finally spills about all the horrible shit he went through, and reigen comforts him. he has flashbacks often, even years later. angst my beloved…

THANK YOUUUU FOR ASKING!!!!! THIS WAS SO MUCH FUNNN

[kohakhearts]

ive been thinking about being 17 again, not in an oh take me back way or even in a thank god im not there anymore way but in a way of. i wrote a poem three or four years ago that said the last time i died i was 17. it wont be the last time. another poem that starts out my 17 year old self is the subject of every love letter ive ever written. a few months ago a former teacher recalled the day i finally told someone how much i was struggling, october of my 17th year, and said it was traumatic for us both. and i understand how the way my 17 year old self latches on to anyone who gives a damn can be painful because i can still see the claw marks on my own skin but it’s so hard to let go when i know i needed to hold on to something. so i guess what i’m saying is that i was looking back on my high school graduation photos and it is both astounding and unnerving how comparable they are to photos taken this year. like there is somehow not a lifetime between those moments, like those acts of dying really were just poetic devices all along. but if i let myself remember we share more than a name and a birthday and some history far beyond us both, i get scared that i’ll never be forgiven for who i am, because you can forgive someone for being 17 when they are 17, but even when i feel like i’ll be trying to reach back to hold that person’s hand for the rest of my life, i’m not 17 anymore. and maybe it isn’t that i want anyone to forgive them, anyway. maybe i just want to be able to tell them, as an adult, “i’m sorry.” do you get what i mean?

[alexaatla]

gothcleats as songs from each of the taylor swift (yes that one) album

im so sick in the head about them and i haven’t made a post about them in a while so here ya go

DEBUT-Our Song

starting out with a soft silly one first, also scarys a musician so this makes sense 😽

lyrics: “Our song is the slamming screen door

Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window

When we're on the phone, and you talk real slow

'Cause it's late, and your mama don't know

Our song is the way you laugh

The first date, "Man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"”

FEARLESS- The Way I Loved You

i know this song is about missing an ex and all, but in the context of gothcleats i want to interpret it like gothcleats in the “betrayal arc”

lyrics: “But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name

So in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you”

SPEAK NOW- The Story of Us

imo this is one of the most gothcleats songs of all time, again during the “betrayal arc” and it gives very big “enemies closer” vibes with being so close to each other but not knowing what to say. it’s also very much scarys POV

lyrics: “Oh, I'm scared to see the ending

Why are we pretending this is nothing?

I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how

I've never heard silence quite this loud

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room

And we're not speaking and I'm dying to know

Is it killing you like it's killing me? Yeah

I don't know what to say since the twist of fate

When it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now”

RED- I Almost Do

ep 25 core and also after the betrayal el oh el

lyrics: “I bet

You think I either moved on or hate you

'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply

I bet

It never ever occurred to you

That I can't say "Hello" to you

And risk another goodbye

And I just wanna tell you

It takes everything in me not to call you

And I wish I could run to you

And I hope you know that every time I don't

I almost do

I almost do

Oh, we made quite a mess, babe

It's probably better off this way

And I confess, babe

In my dreams you're touching my face

And asking me if I wanna try again with you

And I almost do”

1989-Out Of The Woods

this song is being able to make it through something difficult together, which is what gothcleats had been doing this entire fucking time, they just want to be out of the woods

lyrics: “Looking at it now

Last December

(Last December)

We were built to fall apart

Then fall back together

(Back together)

Ooh, your necklace hanging from my neck

The night we couldn't quite forget

When we decided, we decided

To move the furniture so we could dance

Baby, like we stood a chance

Two paper airplanes flying, flying, flying

And I remember thinking

Are we out of the woods yet?”

AND

“Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?

Twenty stitches in a hospital room

When you started crying, baby, I did too

But when the sun came up, I was looking at you

Remember when we couldn't take the heat?

I walked out, I said "I'm setting you free"

But the monsters turned out to be just trees

When the sun came up you were looking at me”

(also “looking at it now/ last december/ we were built to fall apart/ and fall back together” december is i’m pretty sure around when ep 31 with the fireball/ “you can try to kill me but i wont hurt you” scenario would fall timeline wise)

REPUTATION- King Of My Heart

there’s not much reason to this song other than just the vibe reminds me of them and they deserve to be happy 🫶

lyrics: “Salute to me, I'm your American Queen

And you move to me like I'm a Motown beat

And we rule the kingdom inside my room

'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars

With their Range Rovers and their Jaguars

Never took me quite where you do

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa”

AND

“Is this the end of all the endings?

My broken bones are mending

With all these nights we're spending

Up on the roof with a school girl crush

Drinking beer out of plastic cups

Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

Baby, all at once, this is enough”

(honestly another good choice for this would’ve been dress and it might’ve fit better but I LOVE KOMH OKAY)

LOVER-The Archer

while a lot of the songs in lover are very soft and nice, and gothcleats well, isnt, The Archer i think shows scarys hesitancy to become close to link and the other teens, because people have left her continuously in the past. she doesn’t believe people should want to stay with her.

lyrics: “I've been the archer

I've been the prey

Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

(I see right through me, I see right through me)

'Cause they see right through me

They see right through me

They see right through

Can you see right through me?

They see right through

They see right through me

I see right through me

I see right through me

All the king's horses, all the king's men

Couldn't put me together again

'Cause all of my enemies started out friends

Help me hold onto you”

FOLKLORE- exile

link defended scary for a lot of the things she did, despite her telling and proving to him that he shouldn’t have, he did. this song to me is directly after the death of tony pepperoni and realizing what she’s left him with.

lyrics: “And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it

Holdin' all this love out here in the hall

I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

You're not my homeland anymore

So what am I defending now?

You were my town

Now I'm in exile, seein' you out

I think I've seen this film before”

AND

“I can see you starin', honey

Like he's just your understudy

Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Second, third, and hundredth chances

Balancin' on breaking branches

Those eyes add insult to injury”

EVERMORE- right where you left me

wow gothcleats angst goes hard in evermore and folklore. this song shows the moment frozen in time of either link saying “get the fuck out of my house scary”

lyrics: “Help, I'm still at the restaurant

Still sitting in a corner I haunt

Cross-legged in the dim light

They say, "What a sad sight"

I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop

Right when I felt the moment stop

Glass shattered on the white cloth

Everybody moved on

I, I stayed there

Dust collected on my pinned-up hair

They expected me to find somewhere

Some perspective, but I sat and stared”

AND

“Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it

She's still 23 inside her fantasy

How it was supposed to be

Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?

Break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it

She's still 23 inside her fantasy

And you're sitting in front of me”

MIDNIGHTS- Midnight Rain

something something scary growing up with a general lack of love in her life while link has felt nothing but something something

lyrics: “My boy was a montage

A slow-motion, love potion

Jumping off things in the ocean

I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight”

honorable mentions!

-dress

-back to december

-you belong with me

-the lucky one (hear me ou-)

in conclusion, i love them and taylor swift, thank you and goodnight

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas, reg kin anon back already haha

(again, cw/tw for medical stuff and complicated family dynamics)

firstly, thank you for your supportive and kind words, they really do mean a lot to me (and everyone else you help; youre genuinely such a wonderful person and deserve everything good in life ♡)

i think ive come to the conclusion that i havent really processed the whole situation yet, honestly. even though i wrote it to you, i havent actually said the words out loud about my mother's diagnosis (and honestly writing them out again is a struggle haha, like my fingers are blocked from doing it), and it kind of feels like saying it makes it real? does that make sense? i dunno. it feels so impossible to imagine my mother being genuinely sick with something so serious. 'my mother' and 'cancer' dont fit in the same sentence.

but i didnt really realise until now just how major of a major life event this is for everyone and everything. because (and remember, i have a very complicated relationship with my mother. i once defined it as 'i dont have to like you to love you' and i think thats really relevant to now, too) my mother was going to help me with moving out (both buying things ill need, as well as actually moving out on the day) but she told me yesterday that ill have to go out to get things myself because she physically cant right now. i didnt think id mind so much, i like having my own independance and doing things myself, but i went out today to buy everything i need and i was struggling so much more than i thought. i genuinely almost had a breakdown crying in the first shop i went to.

honestly part of that was because i had no idea what i needed or where was best to get it or what any of the fancy words about different types of stuff meant (like, who even knows what depth their mattress is to buy the right bedsheet?? what is a tog??? whats the difference between a bath sheet and a bath towel?? they look the same!) but also because that was something we were supposed to do together. i dont like her and theres so much about her i want to change, but theres a huge part of me that was looking forward to a parent/child experience that so many normal families have, especially because i didnt get a lot of other typical 'growing up' moments with my parents due to how my family is.

part of me, in all honesty, considered waiting to move out, partly so that she could still be part of it, and partly so that i was in a better place emotionally to be able to handle the change. but if i were to do that, id have to wait another year (im moving out to go to university, and i already put it off last year to get a job instead because i was scared and anxious about university) and i dont know that i could go a whole extra year stuck at home. theoretically, i could afford to move out and rent (or buy, if i went to one of the cheap areas) when i felt ready in however many months time, but itd be a huge drain on my savings and would be nowhere near where ill be for school the following year so itd be a waste of money and time. itd be stupid and silly for me to put off university for another year, but i did consider it. i wont, but part of me is scared and wants to.

i met up with my older brother for lunch while i was out (who, sticking with the black family dynamics, is kind of like the andromeda of my family. he moved out 5 years ago to break away from the family and rarely comes home, and is probably the one person in my life who i feel genuinely comfortable and safe around) and we talked about it which was nice, especially considering my family is typically very much a 'do not talk about your feelings at all' sort of family, and as a whole we have not discussed anything further about my mother's health or how we're all handling it since that first conversation. he was super gentle and caring and honestly that in itself made me want to cry a bit because hes just so not at all like our parents?? idk who raised him but i wish theyd raised me too hahaha

but anyway, he was really open and supporting with me. he talked a bit about how he was feeling (which was super validating, because he was also hit hard by it and had complex feelings about it all) and he was really clear too that if i needed anything at all, i could always go to him and would always be welcome at his flat if i needed time away, even when i move out. (seriously, who raised this perfect older brother????) basically he was everything i needed in that moment and i am really genuinely thankful he exists, so at least my parents made one decent thing haha

still, though. i think its starting to hit me now just how many things are going to change and, as selfish as it is, how many things im going to lose and miss out on because of it. i dont like my mother, but i want her there to help me take that next step in my adult life, yknow? she, nor my father, have explicitly said she wont be able to help on moving day, but its not likely, and theres no way on earth i could ever ask whether she will (again: selfish thinking.)

my brother did mention, though, that the type of cancer our mother has is apparently one of the worse types if it isnt caught early enough. as far as i understand it (which isnt much, honestly, i dont understand much with medicine), she has cancer in her abdomen and its usually caught too late to get rid of. i didnt know this until today, i think our father didnt want to worry me? but i dont actually know how far along the cancer is (which stage it is? i think thats the right term) and i dont know at what stage it becomes too late. my brother also didnt seem to know, but now thats put a new worry in my head because my father explicitly did not mention that to me, so of course my brain has jumped to conclusions about why and what that means. im trying not to spiral, but ever since i found out about her diagnosis, i dont actually think ive gone ten minutes without 'fuck, my mother has cancer' or something similar going through my head, and restarting the breakdown id just pushed down again.

as expected, my sister was already making inappropriate jokes about it by the next time i saw her. i spoke to my brother about this too (hes cut contact with her entirely, like i plan to) and that was part of why he offered to let me stay with him if i ever needed; to escape our sister as much as our mother. i dont understand how she doesnt care a single bit. i know shes never got along with our parents but like, at least have a little decency and sensitivity?? she was literally laughing about it and i just... i dont get how someone could be such an awful person. sure whatever, she doesnt have to be upset if she really doesnt care, but thats crossing a fucking line.

this is getting to be another long ask so im gonna stop here for now, but before i do i just want to say thank you again for being such a safe place for myself and others. you are so, so wonderful cas ♡

- reg kin anon

Hi hon ❤️❤️❤️

I know there’s not a lot I can say right now to make you feel better because unfortunately I don’t know the future. I don’t know how this will turn out and neither do you. But I want to say again that your feelings - all of them - are okay and valid and none of them are bad or shameful. It’s okay to mourn the things that you might miss and it’s okay to have mixed emotions. No feelings are right or wrong here, and I’m here when you need to vent. Also I know move in Day will be hard but I’m so proud of you for continuing to prepare for university.

Sending so much love ❤️

[skyechild]

Wont let go

𖤐 pairing: Hyunjin x reader

𖤐 genre: angst :D

𖤐 warnings: just angst

𖤐 wc: 1.5k

𖤐 summary: You cant let go...

𖤐 notes: this hurt me writing, like i actually teared up. this is inspired but Till I Let Go by NEFFEX

𖤐 network and tag list: @cultofdionysusnet / @spooo00oky / @stravvberrymilksan /

You stare at the little flowers in your hand, sitting on the wet grass infront of a pile of rocks. Your gaze turns up towards the sky, smiling weakly as the clouds opened up and the rain drenched everything, mixing with the tears on your cheeks. “Is this you telling me not to cry?” Eyes closed as you pressed the heels of your hands against your eyes. “You always hated it when i cried. Especially if it was over you.” You choked on a watery laugh, placing the sad bundle of flowers next to the rocks.

“I cant move on Jin, i cant move on cause i cant let go. I just-” You looked down at the pile of rocks, the clearing in front of you filled with soft pink tulips. “You always said that we would live forever. But now...” You bit your lip, eyes burning. “Now you arent...here...” You let out a heart wrenching cry, covering your face. “Your jokes you pulled on everyone.” You sobbed, adjusting to lay down, facing the sky. 

“The pain makes it real, i dont want to feel...i just wanna kill the bad thoughts and steal a good thought.” You whispered, smiling at the faint feeling of a brush against your cheek. “I hate feeling broken.” You clenched your fists. “I drown in our memories, Hyunjin. I wonder if you can hear me.”

“I feel so lost, im never at home. This is the first time ive been out in two weeks.” You smiled softly. “You always were such a good listener.” You giggled wetly, watching the sky get darker. “What i just lay here with you?” You turned onto your side, hair sticking to your neck and forehead. “Just for tonight. We can stargaze together? Sounds good right?” You smiled, bringing your legs up to your chest and playing with the ring on your finger. “You promised we would get married...you remember that right?” You smile softly. 

“Jisung and Felix have been trying to talk to me, trying to get me out of the house. The bed still smells like you...” You whisper, stroking the wet grass . “Ive been wearing your clothes.” You thumbed the stem of a flower. “You would be nagging at me to take care of myself...dont worry ive been trying. I’ve been eating and taking showers.” You breathed deeply. “But i spend most of my time in our bed, surfing through memories. The ones we have on our phones and on the computer.”

You cried softly. “I just...i miss you so much Hyunjin.” You hiccupped, gripping a patch of grass. “Im never going to let go.” You sniffled. “Im not going to move on.” You sobbed, curling into yourself. “I knows its not healthy but I made you a promise. You made it to. Its us against the world. Us forever.” You smiled. “I just wish you wouldve opened your eyes. Let me hear your voice and your laugh. Hold your hand and hug you.” You cried softly, resting your head on the grass.

“I just want to see you again...” You whimpered, closing your eyes. “I need time to heal...” You whispered, gripping your chest. “Hyunjin...” You choked out his name. “I hope they dont take me away from you again...i wouldnt be able to take it. Chris will probably come though. He seems to know where i am all the time.” You joked through tears. 

“Remember when we went on that Ferris wheel? I was so scared and you thought rocking it would be funny?” You chuckled, sniffling. “We had our first kiss there...its also where you said you wanted to propose.” You smiled. “Since we had so many memories there.”

“I cant forget how you some how lost me that day. im not even that much shorter then you. But you found me, like you always do.” You hiccupped softly. “Remember when we took that trip to Australia?” You smiled, giggling at the memory. “You got so scared when we went to the rescue sanctuary. All the dingos and the roos.” You sighed. “Of all the animals, you got scared of the Tasmanian devils.” You chuckled. “I can imagine your whine to that.” You let your clothes soak in the water, leaving you soaked in the clearing you and Hyunjin had claimed as yours. 

“I would have done anything to keep you here. To keep you with me and alive.” You whispered, already hearing the sound of tires on gravel. “After you, its always Chris that would find me. I can hear him now y’know?” You chuckled lightly. “Hes almost here, they probably got into my apartment since i wasnt answering the door. You gave him an extra key remember.” You wiped your nose on your wet sleeve. “Why did you leave me.” You whispered, shifting to curl around the pile of rocks. “I know you wouldnt hang out at your grave, you said you would always be here, roam around in this clearing.”

You heard the tires get closer. “I can feel you around sometimes.” You looked through the tulips. “Barely there touches, a could pressure on my cheek.” You smiled. “You never did leave me, just physically. Youre here with me.” You heard the car stop a bit away, not wanting to ruin any of the flowers. “Chris is here now. He is probably coming to get me.” You touched one of the rocks, stroking the smooth surface. “I hate emotions my love. Why did you leave me with these?” You could hear Chris’ steps coming closer.

You sighed, closing your eyes and taking a breath. “I guess he wont let us stargaze huh.” It was still pouring rain and you could barely hear your last words through the rain. “Probably going to storm tonight.” You whispered, not wanting to leave your place as you heard the squish of Chris’ shoes against the wet grass.

“I knew id find you here.” You could barely hear Chris over the rain. He came and kneeled next to you. “Lets go home Y/n.” You shook your head. “This is my home, hes my home Chris....ill never be home again.” You murmured and the rain started to let up. “He wouldnt want you to get sick.” You stayed quiet. “Youve been gone for a few hours....the others are worried.” He spoke, placing a warm hand on your head. “I cant even see his parents Chris.” You cried softly. “He looks just like them and my heart hurts everytime.” He nodded, stroking your head. “How about we come back tomorrow ok?” You shake your head. 

“Baby i hate to say it but...i dont trust you alone...” You sniffled. “I know you miss him love. “Im not going to move on from him. Or let go of him.” You whispered. “I dont want anyone else.” Chris sighed. “I know love, and i can reassure you that he knows too. But we have to go, youve been out here too long and i know youre going to get sick. Meaning the kids are going to come and baby you.” You smiled slightly before moving and slowly getting up. “Take a warm shower then change into warm clothes. Felix and Jisung are already there, Felix is probably stress baking. Jisung is probably slowly losing it.”

You nodding, letting him help you up as your legs wobbled. “Chris?” He hummed, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you up. “Why did he leave me?” He smiled sadly. “Love, he didnt do it on purpose. He was just driving.” You shook your head. “Why did i survive and not die with him?” Chris shook his head, getting you into the car and turning it on, letting the air slowly warm you up. You stared out the window, jolting when a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Chris smiled as he starts to drive you both back to your house, your eyes watching the clearing til you could no longer keep it in eyesight. You stared out the window, quiet.

Thats the most you had talked to someone since the time Hyunjin left your side. Radio silence is what everyone had been getting from you since it happened. You stayed in your seat once he pulled up to your house. “We are home.” You shook your head. Its not home if Hyunjin isnt here. He smiled faintly before coming over to help you out as your front door swung open. His head snapped over to the door, giving them a look. They stopped in their spot, watching as he led you into the house. “Go shower, change too and we will be here.” You turned your gaze to Jisung and Felix. “Can you guys stay?” They nodded rapidly.

You looked back at Chris then towards the others. “Can one of you...stand by the door while i shower? I dont...I dont like how quiet it is now.” Chris nodded. “Ill be right behind you.”

[fagsex]

im just so tired of no one caring im in pain at this point like genuinely. my doctor cant remember my name or even the country i was born in. my family is annoyed throughout the day and night because im always coughing and i cant do anything and i just laze about in my bed all day like a slob or whatever. no one i mean fucking no one in my group of irl friends has messaged me about where i am or what im doing since ive missed school. people i sit next to and talk to every single day and for nearly three years. and no one cares. i wont even see them again probably ever in like two months and even after i return i wont be able to go anywhere with them.

im scared to go anywhere or eat anything and everyone hates me for being lazy and treats me like its my fault i got fucking pneumonia or some shit. you know where i got it? taking off school to take care of my little brother so my parents could get shit done. i have 2 written and 3 oral final exams in the next month. then 2 more written and the grand oral in june. and yet next month im still skipping a week of school to take care of my siblings again. and theyre still pissed im going to take a gap year after i graduate. (note: im not like 17 or some shit i had to this redoubling BS when i arrived because i didnt speak any fucking french).

im just so tired. everything hurts. i pant like a dog when the airs too cold. i cough when i lay down to sleep and when i sleep and when i wake up and when i look at a dust molecule wrong. i already have chronic migraines, now this. im just so fucking tired and i hurt so much and no one cares. very strange! at least theres football in a couple months. and i got 30 bucks for 12 hours of babysitting my siblings without full lung capacity or internet. maybe ill get a cool shirt. i guess