#say what you will but music is cultural and taking it away is erasing people's identities

[halalgirlmeg]

Also I feel like some Muslims heard 'don't mix religion and culture' but like somehow turned that into 'we all should act exactly the same and erase any instance of cultural differences in the name of Islam'

[droughtofapathy]

Hi there! I read your review of Cabaret and saw that one of your main complaints was that a lot of Jewish culture was staged/written out. I’m not Jewish and don’t have that baseline understanding of the religion/culture and was wondering if you could elaborate further?

Hi Anon, I'd be glad to elaborate a little more, with the caveat that I'm not Jewish either, but I do know a thing or two about the history of this show. I'm also long-winded, so... buckle in.

I don't believe the production team intentionally went into it and took an eraser to Judaism as they went, but I do believe that being an English team with far less Jewish influence in their culture and society has made them blind to the inherent Judaism of the story beyond the glaringly obvious. As I've said before, this is a revival made by gentiles for gentiles right from the very conceit. In centering the show on this nightmare puppet spectacle of a cabaret, it does a disservice to the real heart and moral of the story's true epicenter: the boardinghouse and Schneider and Schultz and the grounded people around them. The very fact that it's officially been retitled "Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club" (frankly redundant) shows that this production is no longer about the actual book, but about the frivolous hedonism. Schultz's Jewish storyline is an afterthought hastily plopped down into the cabaret setting. Because of this staging, the focus is never away from the now-very goyish cabaret. Cliff, Schneider, Schultz, and even Ernst were very much given the "I don't care much" treatment by this director who wants everyone to ooh and ahh over the exorbitant pre-show gimmicks and whatever the fuck the Emcee and Sally are doing, and to hell with the actual plot.

Everything from the direction to the marketing to the creative tone seems to scream out that no one on this creative team actually understands the message. The nightclub might be the titular setting, but it's a looming figure in the shadows. A seedy little joint in a back alley where everyone's just trying to survive. Vaudeville could be bawdy, certainly, but the staging and choreography here is vulgar and tiresome, and says to me that the creatives also have little to no knowledge of that artform either.

Cabaret is an inherently Jewish musical. The three original creatives (Joe Masteroff, John Kander, and Fred Ebb) were Jewish men who were all alive during WWII and old enough to understand the horrors happening around them and overseas. Director and producer Hal Prince was Jewish. Revival director Sam Mendes is Jewish. Both Joel Grey and Alan Cumming are Jewish and/or gay. Eddie Redmayne is the first major Emcee on Broadway (baring a few late-run replacements, in the other runs, I'm sure) who is neither. Rebecca Fracknell is not Jewish and beyond the fact that I just don't think she's a good director of musical theatre (which is an incredibly hard artform that differs from directing straight plays), she has no inherent understanding or trust of the rich material already in place. She chose instead to create spectacle without actual spectacle, and focus all the time and energy into the Emcee--a character who was never meant to be the protagonist. The charisma and iconic performances of past Emcees have elevated this role in all subsequent productions, yes, but always as a centrally Jewish (and subtextually queer) figure. By having that representation and interpretation, Cabaret remains a centrally Jewish musicals. By stripping this particular Emcee of that, we get a goyish nightmare puppet, not a man. Not a Jewish man hiding or highlighting his Jewishness. We get a re-centered gentile production dead behind the eyes.

Antisemitism in Weimar Germany takes on a featured role in what should be a starring turn. Fracknell clearly sees herself as Sally, and she's made it all about the Sally in a painfully white goyish feminist way (don't get me started on a rant about the "girlbossification" they're trying to make happen), but the VERY CLEAR intent of the material is that we should not want to be Sally. We should not be proud of being this willfully ignorant girl who doesn't care about the rise of fascism all around her, and actively states that it has nothing to do with her. We should be horrified at her complacency and shamed that we might have gone in feeling the same way. And Schneider says it, she says it right there in what's meant to be the scene, that Cliff and Sally can just run away when the going gets tough without a care in the world, but she can't. When a show takes a Jewish story, written by Jewish men, and turns it into a gentile funhouse carnival and refuses to acknowledge its Jewish-centered book characters and actors (notice how Bebe Neuwirth and Steven Skybell were almost entirely excluded from promo materials until late into the Award Season publicity) to instead prop up a white gentile man and a white gentile woman...well, that's just blatant Jewish erasure.

[jestersmaskblog]

you people are so fucking stupid

perhaps the reading comprehension on this site is piss poor because the only thing you people can comprehend is incomprehensible to anyone who goes outside ever Is "all rap is sexist/violent/whatever" a stupid take? YES but some of it is and some people have only listened to like... 2 artist before AND there have been other rappers who have talked about the sexism in the industry HELL in the shit that started this entire bullshit one of kendrick's bar's literally mentions "theres weird shit in this industry" motherfuckers were tryna get tory lanez off for shooting megan the stallion, chris brown is STILL allowed to do whatever, and believe it or not, it's pretty easy to find on my acc that I am in fact a woman, and yk other motherfucker, down with the ship down with crew, it wasn't even that long ago it was a bigass topic that female rappers were talkin about men the same way male rappers talked about women, but i guess yall aren't ready for that conversation since it's easier for man to try to switch the topic away from exploitation and double standards against women and like i FUCKING SAID, i like rap, theres a lot of rap artists that make music that isn't violent, is chill, is introspective, gets into your feelings n shit, I also really only listen to female rap artists sue me But I want yall to go back and actually fuckin dust off that 8th grade reading level, and read the original fucking post i reblogged, doesn't matter what the intention was it was 100% fucking phrased like rap is the only music POC make, or the only music by POC people know is rap, it's fucking not, because it had no fucking mention of what people have been saying which I by the way haven't fucking heard anyone say and i've heard a TON of people talking about the kendrick drake beef, because i talk to people that exist off tumblr.com and once again the way the phrased it only works if there wasn't people of color on the top 100 chart, and stop being fucking weird about mixed people, mixed people are still fully allowed to identify with their heritage and some of yall, are just fucking weird, yes I did name artists that aren't mixed, i just happened to also name artists that are mixed? what happened to not erasing mixed people's cultural identity? you do realized the person i fucking responded to to begin with is not only mixed, but it's also not with black at all, tumblr really has this issue where they feel like they can only defend one community by diminishing another and it's fucking gross, as for me mentioning growing up in a mixed community, that was, as i stated multiple fucking times if you people weren't morons, only in relation to me having seen first fuckin hand different kinds of POC can be racist to eachother, as in, once again, the motherfucker wasn't black, sure they were POC, but not black, so they're on equal standing with me in this SPECIFIC conversation since i need to spell it out for yall, since yall seem to forget different POC experience different things and people of color aren't a fucking monolith that all experience the exact same things in conclusion, you can all kill yourselves now <3 and you've all become the very thing you hate, some of yall are sexist, some of all are gross towards mixed people, and some of yall are just straight up racist by generalizing xoxo, i regret nothing, and it's completely worth it to get your GED <3

[partywithoutsmiling]

how did you find your way into the trolls fandom? What lured you in?

I got more interested in the fandom since 2020 actually, when World Tour dropped. Pretty sure that was the time that I actually made this blog, with plans of contributing- buuuut life got in the way rather messily and that made it hard to keep any investment into anything for long.

But I have been naturally aware of Trolls since the first movie dropped in 2016- especially has been aware of it ever since the very cringy teaser for it dropped XD

The first movie... didn't really win me over, not by itself pf. The whole odd cinderella story aside, the trolls themselves just didn't feel hashed out to me? And their design kinda creeped me out a little bit XD (2016 Poppy especially hits some kind of uncanny valley area for me lol)

Aesthetically, it was kinda off putting- the saturation has been too over the top in certain parts, and the lighting was really odd- even in well lit areas, all of it just seemed too dark and as an artsy person, that really bugged me pft. Story wise, it also seemed like your typical clishe 'Cheery and Moody people forced to spend time together, eventually falls in love' so yeah, I was not impressed by Trolls 2016 XD

Then, Trolls World Tour hit the streaming- and I got *very* interested in the sudden expanded lore. I know there is, for some reason, a prevalent hatred by some hardcore Trolls 2016 fans? (I mean, eh, I personally think that the first movie is weakest of them all but ehhh) But anyway- edging away from Trolls just being little dancing and singing oddballs and making them part of a varying species with complicated culture and history- that really spoke to me. I know the ending is really controversial, as it ended kinda too 'and everyone is friends now', but I liked the allegory about erasing cultures, either from outright hostile takeover (Barb) or through well meaning pity (Poppy)

This movie also made me a Broppy shipper XD Because it was *so* refreshing to actually see that no, their love confession in the first one wasn't about romantic love- but it was just admitance to caring and affection in general, platonic, nothing romantic at all. The fact they didn't keep his overly saturated colours after True Colours, and kept him muted in the sequel, also really pleased me, as no, it will take a while for Branch to heal from his ordeal in life and it's not always a smooth ride (As a person dealing with depression, I appreciate that).

Their characters also felt more genuine if that makes sense, more fleshed out. I know people complain about Snack Pack being pushed aside, but, honestly, they don't have much personality in movie one, and I didn't expect them to continue have one in the sequel; I browsed through Beat Goes On maybe once, and I can adapt some of their cartoon personalities, but otherwise, I can't say I care much for canon Snack Pack XD (Kudos to all the fanfic writers who actually made them real living and breathing beings, you are the real heroes of the story pff)

And of course, I do have to mention the whole artstyle and design choice of the movie. More than ever the world of Trolls looks like someone's crafts project and I love it- it's so original, and so different from what we are used to seeing- and not only they made their designs more rounded, softer, making them loose that uncanny valley feeling, the lighting also got exponentionally better. The colours are not as aggressivelly saturated and lean more into pastels, and it definitelly fits them better.

Then of course, Trolls Band Together hit the theatres late 2023 XD I can't say I have been that impressed by the trailers? They seemed very... hmm, clishe? XD But I decided to give it a watch anyway and realized that they are finally owning what they always were meant to be - a silly, clishe, nostalgia filled jukebox musical XD Essentially, instead of trying that hard, they decided to just have fun, and you can see they are having fun making these silly movies now

(Also Velvet's and Veneer's final escape chase scene set to Sweet Dreams is a bloody banger and I haven't been so entertained in ages lol)

To wrap it up, Broppy XD Honestly, their whole relationship growth over the course of the three movies is just fantastic (and in the holiday specials! if you havent watched the one after TWT, I recommend, the feels are real) and I cannot remember if I ever seen an animated movie franchise do a slowburn like this, I really appreciate it, I don't mind that I had to wait years for canon Broppy kiss XD

And honestly, what finished it for me, it's just the lore of the whole world expanding. Being a very creative person, I do like when I have something to bite into and to play with- and with all the sequels now out, I can finally appreciate the story the first movie presented us with- now, finally, it feels like it finally fits in XD

Sorry that was probably too long but pff, you did ask XD

Tldr; Got into the fandom after TWT in 2020 but real life got in the way in contributing; TBT sparked that interest anew and enough that I wanted to finally join for real

I got lured by 90s nostalgia and fun silly craft supplies designs of everything, and also because I am sucker for slowburns and family feels

[nix-whythisfilm]

Movies and Shows to watch this Women's History Month

Coming from a culture where women are only celebrated selectively, and worshipped as a goddess but also are the majority of victims in the crimes here, I hope we can take back our power and find equality in this world that's meant for us all. From naive young girls to wise older women, from tomboys to prep girls, from emo girls to it girls, from straight girls to lesbian women, from ciswomen to trans women; a very happy women's day, including the identities I might have missed out on.

You are all valid. You are all worth it. You are all powerful. You are all more beautiful than any words can describe. You are more than what you look like. You are more than what other people see you as. You are so much more than any wild imagination. 

Bridgerton (2020)

With a new upcoming season about the fictional Queen from the first two seasons, the series has everyone biding time in anticipation. The series is based on the books written by Julia Quinn, eight books for the eight Bridgerton siblings. The show is said to be adapted a little differently, focussing on different details and following a different narrative. The first season is set like a typical chick flick, with the oldest daughter having regal confidence and feminine finesse with everything expected of her. The second season takes on a bolder tone, showing us the perspective of the older brother, known to be a rake, looking for a gentle wife, only to meet a pair of siblings opposite in their natures, both challenging his opinion of love.

I initially found this series through the buzz on social media and the modern aesthetics it appeals to despite being set in Regent England. The music was what drew me in, being classical adaptations of modern songs, but what kept me was the way women were not shown in any distinctive way but as themselves. The show highlighted the little details people forget are a part of being a woman, such as not being educated on the duties of a marriage or the quiet strength we all possess through our social capabilities and gossiping skills. It was amusingly empowering to watch how the women took power by not doing anything special but only by being a typical women.

Gangubhai Kathiawad (2022)

Based on the story of Gangubhai Harijeevandas, this film involves a girl running away with her lover only to be sold to a brothel and forced to work there. While the story is all too common to an Indian and gives us a chill every time we hear of something similar, this film brings us a side of the story that is often shunned and not accepted. Gangubhai was a prominent figure in Mumbai in the 1960s, fighting for the rights of sex workers and orphans rising from the red light districts. She has been shown to change as her life demands and took charge of the brothel she was sold to and was very well known in Kamathipura.

Chilling and raw, this film gave us the reality of sex workers in a barely romanticized narration. Alia Bhatt's performance is startling, and by the end of the film, we can find ourselves having a different opinion of the women in that profession. They have made it widely clear that she not only promoted their commercial prospects but also highlighted the confidence and sense of power in the women there to give them a choice in their lives. She fought for her life, her freedom, and the freedom of choice for other young girls who found themselves in her place. While many others would say that the film glorified the dangerous space that women and children could be stuck into, I will go ahead and say that things that cannot be erased or changed should at least be provided with the space to adapt as required.

Rookie Historian Goo Hae-ryung (2019)

Set in Joseon, this series is about the historians who worked in the Royal Courts of Korea, noting everything that happened, from simple interactions to actions taken concerning state matters. They were to be present at all places, documenting silently, around the King and the Court Officials. While politics and patriarchy were present nearly everywhere in that era, this show features a fictional prince who presented the idea of having female historians who would record everything that happened around the Queen while also providing challenging work opportunities to women of that era, who were always held back from higher education.

This series is remarkable for anyone interested in Journalism and gender equality. The main character is a modern thinker who goes out of her way to make people have uncomfortable conversations. Another thing that stood out to me from this show was the way they resolved the major conflict using non-violent methods, and the strike of honest intellectuals was justified from their perspectives. The series highlighted the importance of honesty and the way history is recorded. It focuses heavily on dramatic politics and simple romance, but they equally discuss the importance of literature and history, in the process.

Tribhanga (2021)

Another jewel is this list, this film was written and directed by women, with a story involving mothers and daughters. The movie appears to break the fourth wall, where the characters seem to be talking directly to the audience, but as a start, the story begins with a prominent self-made dancer who hears of her mother being in the hospital. The scenes quickly cut to her hurrying there with her newly married daughter to the hospital, where her estranged mother has slipped into a coma. The film continues with Milan, a follower of Nayantara's work, pleading with everyone to talk more about her story as the mother, who was an author, was in the process of writing her autobiography.

The movie was entertaining, to say the least, and a caressing memoir at its best. Through tears and yelling, fights and hardships, the entire story of three generations of women comes to light in the span of this film. It starts with the mother who separated from her family to be a writer and raised her daughter as a single mother, who then grew up through her hardships to become an accomplished dancer and celebrity. Anuradha was a single mother who raised a confident, poised daughter who then chose to marry into a large family to have the life her grandmother had abandoned. The story picks and talks about the nuances of being a woman while feeling like a personal story to every woman who watches it.

Happiness (2021)

An unlikely genre for this list, this series is a horror-thriller show involving a fast-spreading disease that turns humans cannibalistic. Set in South Korea, this disease spreads much like Covid and the authorities take quick action to control the spread. The story mainly focuses on an unusual couple who move into an elite gated community of apartments. With their jobs being a challenge and being discriminated against for their job benefits, the show quickly focuses on the disease and the ripples of fear it has in the community. I put this show here in this list because the character Park Hyungsik plays, who is an unwavering feminist who goes above and beyond for his wife.

With not much buzz about this show, I discovered it in my interest in watching Hyungsik's work and was pleasantly surprised by the way they captured people's reactions to their epidemic. It was accurate with how the Covid pandemic happened and the trauma a disease can bring to any community through its horror elements. While there are numerous female characters in this show, some antagonistic in nature and others part of the complete story, the series can easily be categorized into a work that captures the story through the female gaze. It's a surprise how well the movies and series can be perceived differently when the perception of the director is guided by their gender.

Bell Bottom (2019)

A Kannada film set in the 1980s, the story follows a man struggling to be recognized as a detective and finally finds a crime that seems like a mystery. Rishab Shetty and Haripriya come together to show us a fresh story that scratches the back of our necks until the end. With their romance bringing an easy laugh and dynamics around the small town that keep us engaged, this film is sure to leave the audience thoroughly entertained.

Curious about the actors' work, I found this film a unique slice of entertainment. The cultural details of this story are highlighted excellently, and the feminist factors need to be dug into passionately. But through it all, the film can be called an easy and entertaining watch. Interesting with narratives that audiences are unfamiliar with, this quirky film brings us a unique set of feminists and characters that cannot be put into stereotypes.

Wheel of Time (2021)

Honestly, underrated for the breathtaking show that it is, this series deserves a much bigger audience. Following a prophecy that was foretold and fighting wars that are beyond humanity, this show is filled with beautiful visuals and meaningful narratives. It starts with one woman guiding five others through the trials for the people they are predicted to be and the story takes us through a journey beyond our imagination. With simplified concepts of fantasy and a world of politics, this show is ruled by the many women who control the stories of numerous others in the show.

A show that was exhilarating and left me wanting more, it was led by women in places of power who decided the fate of people with magic. A unique concept of only women having magic, this series brings us a tale that was written decades ago and gives us characters of various cultures coming together to fight against unfamiliar darkness. With every character holding the potential to be a game changer and everyone hustling to be in places of power, this series presents us with an intimidating world, quite similar to the one we are living in right now. And through it all, it also shows us women finding themselves and bonding with other women in ways that are not highlighted in reality nearly enough.

Kahaani 2: Durga Rani Singh (2016)

Raw and magnetic, this film is about a woman who defies odds thrown in her direction that are beyond ordinary. It starts with a haunting accident and leads a police officer to investigate it, only to find a woman he never expected to see with a daughter. With her daughter missing and criminal charges against her that make no sense, this film takes us on a sombre journey of her past and the things she faced. The movie has a grip over us with Vidya Balan playing Durga Rani and Arjun Rampal playing the police officer. This film is a slap of honesty and mostly focuses on the various women involved in this story who might not always be loyal to their gender.

Shocking me beyond imagination when I first watched it, this story managed to grip me even today with the narrative of a terrified woman facing the world by herself while also taking on responsibilities that were not hers to begin with. With dangerous people always around her, Durga Rani manages to do the right thing by herself and everyone who depends on her. This film empowered me on the struggles of being a survivor and ways one can push themselves to be more than their ruinous experience. Rooted in India and navigating the clutches of patriarchy, this film is a wake-up call to the silent bystanders and people who believe ignorance is better.

How to get away with Murder (2014)

Following the story of Annalise Keating prominently, this show is a dynamic punch for any audience. The show focuses on murders every season, involving the diverse characters of the show, who all grow through the six seasons. While the first season starts off with a student's narration, the following seasons involve the lives of the main characters and conclude with a full-circle story of Annalise. An intimidating woman to most, and a terrific teacher and lawyer to the rest, Annalise is a complex character who can be studied through various approaches. This show was unique with the narration having a feminist approach and having main characters that do not belong to the mainstream crowd.

I began this show hesitantly, expecting it to be a slow watch that would take me aeons to finish. Instead, I finished the entire series in three weeks and was left reeling on how they managed to involve a plethora of ordeals the characters experienced. From losing loved ones to doing the right thing, from being a single mother to experiencing health complications, from menopause to the struggles of being a part of countercultures, this show has managed to put it all together. Women in this show have been shown as the people they are, with their faults and quirks. Women from all stereotypes have been a part of this show, and somehow, the show manages to empower us with its dark truths and dangerous struggles.

Pieces of a woman (2020)

A heartbreaking film on the experience of losing a child, this film focuses heavily on the woman who lost her baby after birth due to complications. While movies exist about the loss of a child and the many labours of miscarriages, a film had never been made before about the experience. The directors, a couple who experienced this personally, brought out this script after surviving the struggle that was never spoken aloud about. Vanessa Kirby has played the character so beautifully it leaves us speechless on the woes a human being could go through.

Having found this film through a friend, we later wrote a paper on this and nuances that would be commonly missed out. The film is incredibly insightful on the details of motherhood and the changes a woman's body goes through post-pregnancy. It focuses on the way loss can affect a woman and a man, and how both adapt to it differently. The most important element highlighted throughout is the way a woman is expected to cope after a miscarriage. While we all hear the numerous pressures a woman goes through in her life, this film sheds light on the way a woman is expected to behave a certain way even through uncertain, hopeless times.

Bombay Begums (2021)

Starting with women in powerful positions this mini-series takes us on a ride with the stories of four women at different times of their lives. They belong to different social classes and have different aspirations, but they all are shown to have challenges that only someone would experience as a woman. While some are struggling for power and money, others are grappling to hold on to relationships and personal-social ties. Some women here are stumbling to balance everything as women are always portrayed to be doing, while others are exploring their options and finding themselves in the midst of everything.

I was confounded when I finished this series, only having imagined it to be a dramatic show with a plot carried by women. It had nuances to their struggles that couldn't have been explained in mere words and brought out their personalities in ways a male director could never. The series humanized the women to the people they were while also shedding light on the experiences that women are privy to. I recommend this show to every woman as it has captured something that has never been done before. The dialogues hit home as the story moves in an unpredictable direction leaving us with a sharp sting of reality over 6 episodes.

Easy A (2010)

A very typical American chick flick, this film is light-hearted and packs a powerful message. It starts with Olive, a seemingly normal high school girl, making up one lie about having a college boyfriend to appease a nagging best friend. The story then spins out of control quickly with wild rumours about her spreading all over her school making her a subject of gossip and school scandals. Being the good-hearted girl she is, she helps out anyone she can with the attention that she now commands, and once again the narrative is taken for a spin to paint her as a girl with loose characters and a nympho.

I watched this film years ago on television and thought about how people could miss the entire point of the film and only focus on the romantic ending of her story. Having "Scarlet Letter" as the prescribed text in the film, the students all witness their scandalous woman, when she starts dressing as they painted her in spite and to claim her power. A film aimed at teenage girls, this film can easily be watched by anyone who enjoys humour. We see a perspective that is often missed out in chick flicks and a main character who takes power in the stereotype she is pushed into. All in all, time spent watching this would be well entertaining.

[kika501]

A hot take:

I was watching bones and all and could not help but have the profound realization that white America are like cannibals. The feast on the the body of color, whether it be Latino, native, southeast Asian, etc, but especially upon the black body. They consume all that there is to consume: our food, our music, our voices, our art, our words, our poetry, our creativity, and our culture. But that's not all, they always want- NEED, more. They consume our bodies, our labor, our time, our blood, sweat, tears, mind, heart, liver, every single morsel they consume. Bones and all.

And once the hunger is temporarily sated, they go to their white pickett homes, stomachs full and warm and. Then they gaslight us into believing that we are lesser. They pack us like animals into pens of poverty and say it is our fault that we live in such a state. They mock us for our culture and creativity that they so readily consume. They say stop and wait your turn. Don't you see this is the land of the free?

As a black woman in America, I live in such fear that all that I have will be taken away. I fear for my love ones, my little brother and cousins. I live in such fear that I refuse to have childern in this country, for where would I go? To the doctor that mutilates my body, forces a c section when not needed, refuse anesthetics because they are taught that black people can't feel pain (and yes even in 2023). Why would I bring a black baby girl or boy into a world that hates them? No matter were we go we are met with mockery, disdain and violence. Our original homes are raped continuously by colonizers so that I am force to seek sanctuary in their arms. Why would I bring a child to such a world that seeks to erase and rewrite our history so white America can still believe the lie that this is a country stands freedom, independence, and justice for all?

I cry myself to sleep knowing there is no where to run to find peace. That, at 22 years old, I find comfort in knowing that I will die one day and it will be finally over. I will decay in the ground were my skin with rot away and they can no longer eat my body because it is black. This is America. This is what this country means to me.

Please understand that this is coming from a state of confusion, hurt and betrayal. The recent political climate and events have really sent me spiraling. I've come to the realization that I don't want to live here anymore. I don't feel safe. Every day there are pick up truck waving Trump flags and blue lives matter passing by my house. My neighbors wave these flags. I no longer feel safe being surrounded by white men as a black woman. I hate being constantly reminded of my skin color. I hate knowing that by brother could just be skate boarding down the street and some cop can harass him and arrest him for no reason. That no punishment will occur. I have no trust in the the police force, for they are just another gang and tool for white supremacy. I don't want to know my body could be beaten and tossed aside and not one thing would change about this country. I'm tired. Even though I understand this sounds like a generalization of white people, it's not. It's an observation of the collective white identity and whiteness and how it makes me feel. While I'm open to conversation, I know no one cares. No one will change their mind no matter how much I scream, beg and cry. No matter how much facts you place upon them they will never see us human but nothing more than the fuel that sustains there body and way of life.

Either way it was eating me inside and I just was desperate to share.

[seewetter]

Three thoughts on this:

Don't rules like "you can't speak AAVE unless Black" erase an awareness for why people wanted that rule to begin with? If you simply forbid foreign cultural practices, you take away a sense of responsibility from others: you decided for them what they must and mustn't do and they just follow along. No wonder people turn that into an impulse to self segregate or experience guilt.

Many liberals/progressives are anti-rap because they believe exaggerated things about media influence ("rap has violence in it so it makes people violent") and because they attribute problems like misogyny to a narrow idea of culture (e.g., media influence) rather than a superstructure of material relations between men and women. DJ Khaled or 50 Cent appear to spread misogyny because they have some scantily clad twerking dancers in the background of their music videos or make patriarchal remarks. In reality, they are just appealing to something that is already there.

But there is a continuum from far-right to center-left where rap music is scrutinized for signs of misogyny more than, say, country music or death metal. This continuum is comprised of people who (A) can't think of how to improve institutions such as prisons or the police (or failing schools or underfunded hospitals etc.) (B) therefore overfilled prisons or police violence are never viewed as faults of those institutions and instead attributed to crime problems (C) since responsibility has been placed on the minority culture, the minority culture now must have fairy tales told about it (it must be Otherized) because the alternative would be to critique the institution (and our starting point is that our law enforcement officers are heroes and fine people, remember?) which then means that (D) if you believe in media influence, you will gratefully blame criminal behaviour on music that "celebrates crime" (either literally, because the artists are having fun acting as gangsters or in the liberal/conservative imagination, by advertising wealth that doesn't grow on trees or whatever). Even Tumblr users that believe in ACAB or whatever may be susceptible to thinking that somehow crime within poor communities is the result of such media, rather than the result of desperate people (who are easily recruited into organized crime) or easy marks (who can't afford locks or lawyers).

In short, it's not astounding to me that Tumblr users get squeamish around rap. Their whole cultural environment consists of the sort of influences that would push them in that direction.

the current trend of "tumblr users embarrassing themselves by proudly announcing why they don't listen to any music made by black people" is really astounding.

i cannot help but think this is a direct result of liberal White Guilt and how people have interpreted "anti-racism" as form of cultural self-segregation - the kind of person who thinks trying to cook chicken curry is cultural appropriation, or sends white people anon hate for wearing a kimono (yes, this kind of discourse happened). like, "oh, no, i could never participate in this culture, i'd get my evil white hands all over it! it would be more Progressive if I only did White things."

if you're a poc you've seen this, i'm sure - this deer-in-the-headlights stare you can get from white people when you play music / show art / share a story / anything that is Racially Coded, this total refusal to actually engage with it out of fear that it is in some way Wrong for them to have any opinion on it. because they read somewhere that it's bad to use AAVE but the only lesson they actually learned from that is "gotcha, white people are not allowed to interact with other cultures as punishment for my White Crimes. this helps to fill up the gaping pit of my white guilt and makes me one of the Good People." this transforms their discomfort around non-white cultures (black culture, especially, i should add) into a kind of virtue

anyway if you are white and reading this. go listen to some fucking haliu mergia. ethiopian jazz. will knock your dick right off. go listen to rap or reggae or bollywood and have a genuine reaction to it - like, an actual, from-the-heart reaction. you are allowed to not like some of it. but you will definitely like at least a little. yes, you can compare it to lemon demon (or whatever) if that helps you get into it and that's your only point of reference. maybe don't say that part out loud. but don't, like, separate yourself from it, like you are seeing it in a museum and the only polite thing to do is go "ahh, huh, very interesting, so much culture here."

[maximuswolf]

Taylor Swift gets "Honorary Doom" award by Doomcore Records!

Taylor Swift gets "Honorary Doom" award by Doomcore Records! A spokesperson by Doomcore Records had the following to say regarding this surprising decision:"Doomcore Techno folks usually hate the overground, the mainstream, pop music, so this decision might rub a lot of people the wrong way.But, if you look at Taylor, the music she does now...It's songs about depression, self-harm, s*icide, loathing humans, the world, everything.It's vengeance, revenge, spite, scorn... wishing destruction on everyone that wronged you... wishing destruction on everything you see.It's about descending into a void, chaos, an infernal vortex of thoughts and emotions, thought and desires.It's about lust, sinfulness, pr*miscuity, erasing any trace that is left of "christian family ideology"...It's doom and gloom hidden behind a saccharine-acerbic voice, delivered by the form and appearance of an angel... an angel of death and darkness.if that is not exciting for a follower of doomcore techno, then what is?She comes off as a witch, banshee, monster, in her videos.she juggles with snakes, balances drugs on her tongue, gets chained up as a lust-slave in a sleazy way, tortured, electro-shocked, executed, and then gets her revenge and wrecks it all.Very disturbing things!her sound is not her poppy stuff from 1989 anymore... it feels more like a left-field and "left-wing" neofolk / industrial crossover with more then one trace of darkwave.she talks about a "torture department" in her latest title... i mean, that's doomed stuff right there!she does dark, sick music...the only "fault" is she is not using techno beats... yet... but we at Doomcore Records can appreciate other styles and genres, too!well, she is branded as a teen idol by the media, she is mainstream, she is not really underground...but even from the viewpoint of the true cultural underground rats... should we blame her for that?just an example: do you like Baudelaire? les fleurs du mal... i guess most people who are into doomcore techno appreciate Baudelaire.but he is not very "underground" at all, isn't he? mentioned in a lot of movies, boring middle-aged teachers talk about him fondly... art snob hipsters love him.yet this doesn't take Baudelaire's gloomy appeal away for us, does it?in his introduction, Baudelaire dedicates his poems to young men and women who are enlightened by the darker, more disconcerting and horrific sides of existence...and if taylor swift does a similar thing... giving the young generation of today an entry-level experience of doom and decay and scorn and blasphemy... well... then this is all the better for us!"https://ift.tt/ZbrmGv4 Submitted October 04, 2024 at 01:35PM by Low-Entropy https://ift.tt/n5mlpDx via /r/Music

[hajiisonline]

Homi Bhabha, in “Of Mimicry and Man: The Ambivalence of Colonial Discourse” theorizes mimicry occurs when people of a colonialized society imitate and take on the culture of the colonizer. This mimicry is imperfect, forming the gap between the colonizer and colonized. With this gap comes subversion, resistance—and anxiety for the colonizer. In this way, it can be seen as form of Cultural Cannibalism, the colonizer imposing upon the colonized, leading to erasure, distortion.

Cultural Cannibalism is the process and act of a dominant culture appropriates, absorbs, and assimilates elements from a subordinated, or colonized culture, often erasing the original context and significance of these elements. They can involve aspects such as language, traditions, clothing, cuisine, music, and other forms of cultural expression.

In a conversation with lovely friend Dean, a Central Asian artist, I used the coined the term to describe white Russians wearing the cultures of the ethnic groups they’ve colonized (and terrorized). I replied, “It feels like a form of Cultural Cannibalism to which they replied, “Cultural Cannibalism, that’s like, the perfect word for it.”. Cultural Cannibalism is a metaphor that emphasizes the predatory and destructive nature of this form of cultural appropriation. A dominant culture consumes, feasts traits of the marginalized culture. Cannibals, consuming other human beings.

During Cultural Cannibalism, the dominant culture often reinterprets and redefines the appropriate elements to create its own colonized chimera. This leads to the erasure of a culture’s meanings, and the marginalization of the colonized people. These further perpetuate power imbalances, contributing to the continuation of colonial ties, even after formal political decolonization.

As my Habibi, my heart, Saif a Palestinian artist, says, For Israelis in Particular, “Will claim aspects of Southwestern Asian and North African Cultures and wear it like a skin suit to further prop up their fictionalized indigeneity.” As if hoping it will become fact. As fetuses, we fight and tear away from your mother’s womb, we fight to be created. Humanity is terrifying.

Humans do horrific things, they cannibalize one another.

Unlike the birth of children, the birth of Israel is like that of a parasite, consuming its indigenous host.

The Host, being Palestine, a nation known as the Holy Land.

Israeli colonization began in the late 19th century, and with it emerged the Zionist movement. Seeking to establish a colonial homeland in Palestine, leading to the holocaust, Nakba, and the established apartheid State of Israel in 1948. The cultural cannibalism in Israel can be found even housing, the demolition, or seizures of Palestinian homes. This bloodshed led to the displacement of Palestinian people and the appropriation of their lands and resources.

For the past 70+ years, Israel has terrorized and tortured Palestinian people. They’ve been committing crimes since my grandparents were alive. Sex Crimes against men, women, and children—the persecution and murders of gay Palestinians. Even the recent even that have gone for over 40 days, the world has seen bombing of ancient Palestinian buildings, places of worship. Families wiped out. Men, women, and children trapped under rubble. Human beings you see one minute, murdered the next. Others imprisoned, detained, humiliated, starved—put in jail without of trails—although, Israeli officials will tell it’s all, alleged. Israeli and the UN love using that word, alleged, that the word should be used with caution.

But if not a genocide, then what is it?

It is a crime again humanity if you do not see those people as humans.

Perhaps, they become beasts they mimic.

“That’s why Palestinians are considered the cockroaches of the world,” a Florida lawyer, Bruce Raticoff remarked, “Burn them to the ground.”—or, the pro-Israel cartoonist, tweeting a picture depicting a IDF (Israeli Defense Forces) boot crushes a roach meant to be a Palestinian cockroach with the caption, “This!”—or was it parallels to Nazi propaganda that depicted their enemies, people of Jewish, Slavic, Rromani, and African descent as bacteria, cockroaches, rats, pigs, apes, dogs.

But that would only come from someone genocidal back by military aid from world powers, right, the ones committing genocides?

Making Zionism, not a Jewish birthright, but a white supremacist movement?

Ah, I digress.

Israel as a concept, is devoid of culture. Even that of Ashkenazim, who have wonderful cultural dishes like Ptcha and Knishes and dances such as Horah and Terkisher. From that grows a delusion, that consumes. Perhaps that could be why they’ve appropriated dishes like Falafel, as national Israeli dishes despite them predating Israel’s birth as well as the traditional dance of Palestine, Dabke. Like noted with falafels, Israeli’s cultural appropriation and cultural cannibalism extend beyond its initial host. Dishes like hummus, shawarma, and couscous, have been rebranded as Israeli. Cultural Artifacts, predating Israel, have been stolen and displayed in Museums with out acknowledge of their origin. This, act itself is an attempt to obscure, to erase Palestinian history. The Keffiyeh, seen as of resistance and piece traditional Palestinian clothing, has been met with a similar fate.

(Moretz, Cultural cannibalism: A study of Israeli and Russian colonization 2023)

[violetsystems]

#personal

Been a little happier lately despite all the gloom, doom and fuckery. I can't say anything has been getting any better in my normal life. I fear that sooner or later everything is going to implode around me. I received an email back from a recruiter Friday night. I don't really get much contact from anything in the job market at all. I send about three or four resumes a week depending on the listings. The recruiter admitted that the hourly pay rate and role probably wasn't of interest for a person at this stage of my career. That's interesting poker call in the game of job hunting. Some of the jobs I've applied for customer service in certain fringe industries only offer barely above minimum wage. This opportunity would have been fixing computers. So it kind of told me how low in my field I shouldn't go salary wise. I've applied for three or four jobs in the Marijuana industry here in Illinois. Those are a little easier to present yourself professionally to ironically. But everything out there for me is a mixture of closed doors, reluctance to interact, and some grand cult like civic agenda I'm supposed to already know. For the record, finances are my own problem. This is what has stressed me out so much about being retired early. It isn't so much about the money. It's that everybody just assumes I don't have to work. The pension payout I got wasn't exactly enough to live on for the rest of my life. Not that anyone around Chicago appreciated my birthday even happened let alone admit I"m alive and still sell music. I keep thinking of myself as a test subject. That Generation Z and Millennials are going to be hit worse when their time comes. Imagine hitting your ten year mark in a career you went to college for at thirty three or something. Then being forcibly retired and having to plan out the next fifty or so years of your life. I've spent almost three years doing that. And all I ever get is recruiters asking me if I can refer them to someone more fit for the roles they offer. Why blog about it when I can just worship a woman I'm in love with at her feet? Because I'm kind of fearful the things we both love about this country are going into a financial tailspin. I just read that a population of gen z was polled as thinking women's rights have "gone too far." That shit scares me. That the children of generation x are complete fuck ups in so far that they've erased any culture we brought to the table. I'm completely invisible these days. I tend to use it to my advantage to stay alive and protect the things nobody really needs to know about.

I've always thought the thing about me that probably is the most attractive is that I try to deal with the present in a creative way. Even if dumb people don't understand it. I don't care. I know I'm in a completely losing situation. And I know people are just always trying to trap you into some petty shit to make you trip. My immediate neighbors fucking unplug the laundry when they see me get quarters so I lose them when I try to do my wash. They've stolen my 5g phone after being delivered by fed ex by asking me to unlock the laundry room while someone else lifts the package. They've set up makeshift shit traps on the fence so that I'll be covered in feces when I take out the trash. They work with my old job to intimidate me at the mailbox when my COBRA extension gets delivered. All of this is true. Nobody wants me to prove it. And has happened over a two or three year period. I've been trapped here writing about it. I've been applying for jobs overseas, in la and New York to get away from it. And I just sit here day after day watching nothing happen. I get that ultimate the joke is on other people. But some of the things I've had to do recently just fucking piss me off. I was expected to literally spend down my whole retirement and wait for another offer. I haven't done that yet. But the way the stock market has behaved the last two years, I've been left holding the bag on a lot of shit. I don't really understand how anyone in the future is supposed to retire with things behaving this fucked up. The value of Tesla as a company is ten times it's future revenue. That's like ten credit cards stacked on top of each other with Jerome Powell tap dancing at the top with a cane that twirls the interest rates around like a magic show. This recent bank failure is the result of nobody having enough liquid cash on hand to cover their ass. And yet everyone listens to whatever the fuck some twit whole stole an entire free speech platform to bankrupt it has to say.

And the FDIC bails out exactly 250k max for each "victim" at Silicon Valley Bank they protect. Around the same time they cut pandemic food benefits for poor people. I tried a number of things over these years to buffer myself. I didn't just lose my job yesterday. But even the two universal basic income programs I applied for in my country and city I was denied. I didn't qualify for unemployment because my pension payout was too much income. I basically got fucked. Now Monday morning an entire mess of startups will implode because there is no way to payroll with two hundred and fifty dollars thousand dollars unless you are paying minimum wage. Maybe that was intentional? That's one way to sabotage the employment of America. I still invest just the same. I was taught by America that this is the only way to stay alive. But my perception of money, capitalism and rich people is that of a gluttonous demon who plays tricks on the townsfolk like the idiots fucking with my laundry. If you've read this far, you understand that I don't think there's a solution in complaining. I'm not even on health insurance anymore. Not like COBRA payments weren't as much as my rent. I've been literally left to die by most of the people who say they knew so much about me from my past. I've been on LinkedIn the entire time professionally. If people wanted to find me for a real opportunity it's right there. I cut off my Facebook. I cut off my instagram. I block people on Tumblr that I think are too locally nosy about what I'm doing. I have to ignore entire friend groups now out of proactivity simply because they're not worth the liability of gossiping about my personal life. I know the way forward in the future is to leave it all behind. I just am a person who thinks deeply a lot. I am hurt that people don't want to fix things. I am hurt that when I get given a new shovel by my building maintenance the rest of the neighborhood treats this shit like a school yard bully and thinks I'm the teacher's pet. This isn't fucking high school. And yet with child labor and child marriage, maybe it's not far off. People out here have turned severely populist, encumbered by their own financial decisions that seem to be blowing up left and right. I think we're all a little more aware of the dangers of being blindsided by absolute failure here in this country. But it's getting beyond scary that you can communicate so well but the people around you will actively collude to fuck up your only line of communication to people who care about you. That's fucking terrorism. And these people out here are motivated by it for the dumbest fucking reasons. They aren't smart and they don't appreciate smart people or talent. Mainly because everyone would rather hoodwink, trick and grease people than work together. The more people get tricked? The more people get angry and the more society here in America starts to turn worse than it already is for me. I know my future is a lot brighter especially when I think about things that inspire me. And I am still inspired don't get me wrong. But I'm fucking dying out here in a literal ghetto prison of bullshit that I don't think anyone hasn't observed being fishy at least once. I just live every day like people are camping out waiting to surveil me on every corner. They literally take my garbage out of the trash and leave it on my porch facing back at me. Like we know what you spend your money on. I know what you did a couple summers ago too. And if the tips I sent in the government are any indication. Everybody gonna lose their fucking jobs sooner or later. I'm not hiring. <3 Tim

[aizenat]

Thank you! As someone who was also VERY online during this time (lol), the revisionist history regarding this is driving me nuts! Like that white girl was bastardizing the hell out of Black culture to look cool! Remember when we said how the very problem was she could stop doing all that and be “respectable” while we can’t take off being black, and then years later Miley came out with an interview at vogue or some shit talking about she was returning to country and she was on drugs and dealing with the “wrong crowd” during that era (if you look at pictures if her from they time, she was hanging with Black ppl; funny that!) and that was why she was on stage trying to twerk her nonexistent ass?

The whole conversation regarding cultural appropriation went mainstream BECAUSE of Miley’s actions! No wonder these modern white girls feel real comfortable talking down to Black women, trying to claim everything ours for themselves, and their Kartrashian obsession. They saw Miley get away with it with everyone forgetting what a fucking braindead racist she was being, so they figure they can do whatever too and who is going to check them? Black women so ignored they everyone is pretending we hated Miley just cuz she was a young woman on the come up?

Bruh the lengths these modern kids who were playing fucking neopets during this time have to go to not feel bad about realizing their favorite Miley era was her being a racist troll is wild. And all while putting down what Nicki did for female rap? Literally ANY female rapper around rn wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for her. And I’m saying this as a FORMER og mixtape-Nicki fan-turned-modern-hater. I don’t listen to nor support Nicki anymore given her antics (sorry not sorry, but harassing a woman your rapist husband raped and trying to get her to recant and then constantly calling the fact your rapist husband raped a woman “30 year old tea” is my ultimate limit of grace I can extend to any woman), but I would never deny what a fucking icon and legend she was at her peak. Truly innovative. Everyone Sabrina and Channel could only hope to be (but never will because whites will never compete with Black people in terms of talent, creativity, and ingenuity).

These kids can’t accept two truths; that Nicki now is a shell of her former self all while being a revolutionary figure in rap that cannot be ignored nor replicated. She was a once in a generation leader in her prime, and her recent drug fueled issues and bad decisions don’t make that disappear. The same way Miley’s aggressively mediocre music career, nor her bangerz or whatever rebrand, can never erase the impact of Hannah Montana.

I have no idea what age has to do w anything tbh I can’t believe I’m watching history be rewritten……I was online during this era and EVERYONE was in nickis side. It became a blm thing like it was so serious now people want to support the white girl in dreads who used black women as props and not the woman who took a genre ripped apart in academic literature for objectifying women …and made a genre bending career that put to question so much of who and who doesn’t have agency in these hyper sexual relations…has outlasted anything the 22 year old nepo baby has gone on to do. Nicki is an evil crazy genius like ….we can’t condone all that she’s done but this is SICK to just act like Nicki was upset for no reason and being petty. Peoples lack of acknowledgment of what Nicki has done and continues to do to the musical landscape in general is exactly why we will never get another Tina Turner but we get a chappel roan and a Sabrina Carpenter

[captainswanandclintasha]

i've seen your post about the new va show (the one by j***e p**c) and i think the discution about representation would be much easier if ppl would realize eastern europeans (not only slavic but all of us) don't mean racial/phenotypical representation. yes, we see ppl who look like us, but don't see ppl who ARE like us – our culture, life style, behavior etc – unless they're a villain/hooker or both.

i cried when i saw moroi and strigoi (actual mythological romanian creature) being more than fancy/spicy names for vampires in the books. i was so happy to see romanian, the language, being used and not to mention the comrade jokes... i teared up (bcs we may not have grown up with communism but our teachers, parents, grandparents, all the adults in our lives did. we grew up with stories and had our fun with it bcs we didn't understood the weight of it. i remember having boys try to immitate Ceaușescu and all of us spoke with tovarăș (the romanian version for comrade) at some point just for the fun of it).

it's like with the witcher. they made the villages, clothes, music, customs, *everything* anglosaxon. when it could have painted an eastern european fantasy. i imagine actors in our traditional clothes, in our traditional houses, with our myths and lore and i'm so angry we didn't get that. and the witcher had slavic ppl involved in its making for the first season, then they quit bcs they couldn't bear it (grain of salt, i saw a post about it, but hadn't fact check).

i mean, why can't there be both? young poc being able to see ppl who look like them on screen AND young eastern euros being able to see ourselves and our stories as well. why erase/change/disregard the eastern european stuff?

//sorry for the rant. got carried away, trying to beat writer's block and write my eastern euro lore book//

I want to start this but saying that I am so very sorry for answering so late to this message because it's been staying in my dms for about a week but I honestly to God didn't had time to answer.

Secondly. I hear you my Romanian babe. I hear you and I KNOW.

And yes. We want people who are like us, act like us. People coming from here.

I've said it once and I will say it again: the americans are the only ones OBSESSED with the color of your skin. They are obsessed and they are showing it everywhere. Are Europeans racist? Yes, they fucking are. But europeans are racist with EACH OTHER. Romanians hate Hungarians and vice versa. British hate French and vice versa. The whole of Western Europe thinks we, Eastern Europenas are stealing their jobs and such but you will never see and european call the police on a black person. Or worse. No.

Strictly speaking as a Romanian, living in Romania, and growing up with western media where Romanians were portrayed as thieves and whores: I fucking cried when I first saw bits and pieces of Romania and Romanian in the Vampire Academy. And people who believe that Romania and Romanians don't have a place in the Vampire Academy world, should read at least wikipedia and see exactly where MOROI and STRGOI came from.

You are welcome, american Vampire Academy fans, for having a tv show based on Romanian mythology with zero fucking representation to Romanians but full of americans and english.

I don't think this fandon understands how it feels too see your legends, myths and LANGUAGE - FUCKING LANGUAGE - in a tv show where they are ERASED.

I will forget the casting choices, the changes, the mess they did, but I will never fucking forget Julie Plec and co. for creating a new fucking language "OLD MOROI" instead of using what was right in front of them and what stood at the bases of creating the whole Vampire Academy world. Romanian.

I don't try to come at me and tell me "romanian didn't had any representations in the book anyway" like you are doing with Turkish people because I will fucking end you. Take a look again at Mână (https://vampireacademy.fandom.com/wiki/M%C3%A2n%C4%83) and read the bios of half of the characters. BTW. Dragomir is a Romanian name :)

As @ladystarkov already said, Spain is full of Romanians. And I guarantee you anyone would have loved to be involved in this show.

So yes, dear darling fans, next time you try to come out and tell us that we are racist, that we are haters, maybe try and imagine how would you feel if some French tv show director would make a Hamilton tv show, with all the characters... Asian and African, and no one would speak English. Only French, Arabic and Japanese.

[writingtoforgetreality]

Sleep Paralysis (Helmut Zemo x Reader)

[Marvel-Masterlist]

Summary: You hated sharing a room with another person. Especially when it came to sleeping. Which usually resulted into you staying awake for the night if you were teamed up with someone. Sometimes you could not escape exhaustion, though.

Words: 2,381

Warnings: language, angst, fluff, insomnia, experiencing sleep paralysis, anxiety, TFATWS spoilers (I don’t think there are any but just to be sure I guess), Zemo awakens the poet in me idk, REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

The people you found yourself teamed up with gave you safety. Sam, Bucky & even Zemo. With the three of them on your side, you had nothing to fear. Missions with these guys were easy. If the two grown ass men children were not occupied with killing the other grown ass man child. Names were not needed here, that was explanation enough. You were surprised yourself when you started enjoying Zemo’s company. He was a criminal. He was supposed to be the bad guy. So why could you not view him as such? Was it the way he moved his body? Was it his hair which fell in place just perfectly imperfect? Was it his coat that accentuated the weight of the world he carried on his shoulders alone? Was it his smile that was just the tiniest bit bigger whenever he glanced at you? Was it that stupid head tilt thing that was everything but stupid to you? What the hell was it? And why the hell was resisting your urges so damn hard?

Maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you but you could have sworn that his eyes fell on you, no matter how big the crowd. You could have sworn that his body searched out your presence wherever you went. There was this unspoken thing between you guys. As much as you wanted to address the tension building up, you were apprehensive what your best friends would say about it. You were doubtful how he would receive the news. Your ever growing friendship was at risk. The mere thought of having to live your life without him was inconceivable. How did it work before he came along? It was like your brain erased those memories altogether. Truthfully, he changed your life around without having an idea of the effect he had on you. Or he did know but enjoyed messing with your feelings. Though he did not strike you as that type of man.

Countless nights were spent with you having deep, meaningful conversations. Thanks to those times, you perceived his side of the story. His motives & what drove him to the actions that brought him behind bars in the end. By no means were you trying to justify his crimes. There would have been multiple different ways. Back then, the only purpose for him was revenge. Apologies that came too late were given. Zemo truly was sorry. And while words & emotions could be faked easily, it was impossible to hide the deeper meaning that his eyes held. The softness, the wariness, he could not simulate this. Those beautiful brown orbs were withholding years worth of tears. It was not your position to force him to display his weakness in front of you. Sometimes, simply knowing that another person was available if needed, that was enough.

The same feeling of secureness was provided by him. Your past was not necessarily pleasant either. Innumerable regrets labeled your existence. You were not a good example of a hero. Every day, you contemplated the what-if’s. Overthinking was part of your diurnal routine. All the pondering was needless. The switch only shifted after the beginnings of Zemo’s nocturnal reassurances. Without him, you would still be stuck in that gloomy pit your body had constructed on its own. You two were reliant on each other. Not physically but mentally. Unpretentiously, small touches followed. Brushing his thumbs over your smooth skin on the back of your hand. Squeezing your shoulders gingerly. Goosebumps erupted each time his body warmth was transferred to yours. Whether he wore his leather gloves or not, your body responded with endless fireworks that launched from deep inside.

The hotel you entered radiated wealth. Zemo negotiated the reservations. Which was obvious by the mere impression of the lofty ceilings that were embellished with immense sparkling chandeliers. Your eyes overstrained from the extravagance, switching from one highlight to the next. As a regular citizen, your income denied you such a lifestyle. Avengers did not earn a fortune, this trait came with the job description. Meaning that you would savor every little ticking of your stay. The marvelous high of contentment ceased when the receptionist informed you of an immutable adjustment concerning your room situation. The only two vacant premises were a king size in one & two singles in the other. Apparently, the decision was resolved without you having a say in it. Your questions were answered with a definite proclamation. You were the only soul unable to kill the Baron. Your attempts to conceal your embarrassment were unsuccessful. The smirk adorning Zemo’s features was unhelpful in your current position. Sam & Bucky abandoned you in the entrance, heading off to their room to rest after a tiring mission.

Zemo demanded your luggage to be brought up to your chambers. One of his hands rested on your lower back. This motion warmed your body. It was so simple yet filled with extensive care. It should have been wrong but you have never felt more protected in your entire life. One thing worried you. Sharing a room with the man who brought out your true happiness. It was no secret that you suffered from insomnia. Usually, it vanished after indefinite missions. The interminable flight in Zemo’s private jet added up to your exhaustion. Under no circumstances would you sleep in a room with the Baron. The trust existed, that was not the issue. What happened during your slumber could not be controlled. The tossing, turning, screaming. Nightmares invaded your dreams every time you closed your eyes. Therefore, you obviated sleep as long as possible. Multiple cups of coffee, the heavy does of caffeine every day, aided your wish to stay up. If you narrated a good enough excuse, he would not inquire. At least, that was what you hoped.

Stepping through the tall door into the spacious room, you stopped dead in your tracks. You needed a second to take everything in. Never before had you occupied such a luxurious chamber. It resembled a suite. Different shades of warm colors complemented each other. The vast windows enabled your view of the city beneath. Colorful lights brought the dead of the dim night to life. Facing the stars aligning the somber night sky, Zemo arranged himself next to you. Minutes of silence enveloped you, filling the room to the brink. The man next to you fractured the quietness with whispers. He pointed out various constellations. Observantly, you absorbed his words. He was cultured but never bragged about it. His sentiment of deliberate timing was unique. One of his characteristics was fathoming when to quit talking. Or when it was suitable to speak. Zemo constantly knew how to ease the tension with his thoughtful comments.

“You take the bed. I am content with resting on the couch.” he proposed. As much as you appreciated his deliberation, you pronounced the contrary.

“No, Helmut. I won’t sleep anyway, you can have the bed.” your gentle smile underlined the tiredness emanating from your eyes. He tilted his head to one side, observing your body language.

“You have not rested after our mission yet. Not even during the flight where Sam, James & I slept.” he annotated, worry audible in his voice. Your shoulders lifted in a short shrug. Alleging that you were fine. Spending hours with you concluded to him comprehending your lies. Your features were different whenever you attempted feigning him. Approaching your figure in the barely illuminated room, he halted a few steps away from you. Movements of his hands caught your attention. The gloves were peeled off. Lifting one of his arms, you shivered when his skin touched your cheek affectionately. His fingers caressed your face so lovingly, your eyes closed instinctively. “You are exhausted, darling.” his words were soft, soothing your ears by the fragility of them. The space between you two was narrow. You breathed the same air. His body heat passed onto you. Your heart sped up, almost as if it could break out any second. Nobody had ever made you feel that way. Nodding obediently, Zemo dragged you closer to the soft mattress covered with silk sheets. It was a desired invitation. It did not last long before you gave in. The smooth material welcomed you. Realizing Zemo’s retreating steps, your hand reached for his wrist, freezing his tries. He glanced over his shoulder bewildered.

“Stay.” it was music to his ears, hearing your quiet proposition. Holding himself back, he shook his head briefly. A signal that he did not want to disturb you. “Please.” his face softened at your plea. How could he resist your sweet voice? How could he resist you when it was obvious that you wished for him to stay with you?

“Okay.” pulling back the blankets, he lied right behind you. Your back was facing him. The shock was only brief when your hand searched for his arm. Draping it over your waist, you sighed contently when he embraced you tighter. It was not just what you needed. This, it was required by him as well.

Peaceful hours of cuddling went by without disruption. The calm was interrupted by your eyes snapping open in fear. Your back was against the mattress. Staring at the tall ceiling, your breath quickened when you could not move. Could not talk. Could not scream. There was not a single thing that could be done but you awaited the bad that would arrive soon. It was not the first time you experienced such a situation. The pressure in your chest grew steadily, obstructing your breathing. Your muscles ached, your head pounded. Someone would murder you. If you did not rise soon, death would come knocking on your door. Your attempts to push away the sheets & your labored breath stirred the man next to you awake. His confusion ended when he noticed your struggles. Propping his head onto one of his arms, he scooted closer to your body. Zemo knew what you were going through at the moment. While he had never suffered from such a period himself, he had read about it. Your eyes widened when his locked onto yours. The fear was visible even without a light illuminating the room. His free hand moved to your cheek. In the process, he whispered sweet nothings to you in hopes that they would reach you. Irregular breaths were still very much present. Though you had him with you, your anxiety was acting up still. Your mind was determined that you would die in a few minutes.

“Hey, hey, hey. Darling, look at me.” your eyes slowly shifted from the ceiling to his dark, almost black ones. They were a beautiful shade of brown but it was too sinister to detect the different hues. “There you go.” his voice was steady, controlled. “What you are experiencing is called sleep paralysis. It means that you are awake but your body is asleep still. It will be over soon, I promise. This might feel life threatening to you but I’m here, okay? I am here with you & I will not let anything happen to you.” his eyebrows raised expectantly. The most you could give him was a useless attempt of a nod. His fingers stroked over your skin, bringing you comfort. You were not on your own. Zemo held you close to his body. Still unable to move, the one thing you could feel was his body heat. Minutes without change went by. Affirmations were whispered into the quiet of the ample room. Your leg shuffled the blankets. A small smile crept onto your face. Finally, you had control again. Your muscles were no longer frozen in place. Overwhelmed by the sudden liberty, you embraced Zemo into a tight hug. Reciprocating immediately, he held your head in place in the crook of his neck. His other arm raked around your waist, keeping you as close as possible. He assured you that you were alright. That nobody & nothing could hurt you. Not when he was around. The silent tears rolling down your cheeks were inevitable. They stained his shirt but he could not care less. All that mattered was you overcoming the feeling of uncontrollability. Maybe it was his explanation. Or his proximity. Or his sweet words calming you down. In the end, the cause was insignificant. Zemo helped you through this & there were no words to express your gratitude to him.

Pulling away slightly, he rested his forehead against yours. You mimicked his deep breaths, disposing of the last bits of worry. When you were in his presence, it was gratuitous to be fearful. Demons had no chance. Not when it came to Zemo. The next reaction came naturally. This time, you did not fight the urge to press your lips onto his. You took his breath away by the unexpected action. There were no complaints from his side. Both hands rested on your face, bringing you closer if it was even feasible. In your imagination, you recalled kissing Zemo to be heated. This right now was the exact opposite. No words could depict what emotions were rushing through your entire body. Descriptions were useless if you could demonstrate it with a simple kiss. After it ended, silence sheathed you two once again. It was everything but unpleasant. He kept holding onto you. Zemo would never judge you because of nightmares or similar occurrences. Your head rested on his chest, above his heart. The beat calming your nerves even further. Explaining that you had always suffered from the monsters of the night, he did not interrupt. You needed to confide & he was more than happy to be available. Another soft kiss was pressed on top of your head. A content sigh left your lips. Zemo assured you that he would stay, no matter what. He was in this for good. Whatever this was. Time would clarify the relationship between you two. All you knew was that it felt right. Having him close to you. Having him as your protector. Having him to brighten up your days. Simply having him. That was adequate. That was your unspoken wish. You expected a lot but you did not expect the fulfillment of a previous unknown dream. You were home.

Published (04/21/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @eristudytime, @hiraethmaximoff, @incansas, @fionanovasleftnut, @mundaytuesday, @ashamed23, @pedropascallovebot, @kpoptrash2000, @lulu-yuming, @bibliophilewednesday, @arctic--ash, @mischiefmanaged71, @yallgotkik, @noavengers, @lieutenantn, @birdieofloxley, @aisling1985, @tatooineisdry, @obsidian-queen, @h0ly-fire, @dxnxdjarxn (thanks for your support <3)

[experimentalfma]

"Well, a lot of it is political," Roy admitted, "though there's enough physical labor to go around with the physical rebuilding. Most of my roll is in organizing that process and working with our military to communicate their needs and build fair policies. There's been a lot of progress making it more habitable again. There will understandably likely always be some level of distrust, but relations have improved without Bradley as our fuhrer anymore."

That distrust of the Amestrian military could never be fully erased no matter how much they worked to rectify the destruction they'd cause. Perhaps individual members could learn to be trusted, but trust for the military as a whole would be a lot to ask for. It would take longer than a few years of physical and political work to earn that back.

Ed's discussion of his own travels, however, struck a spark of curiosity. "Beyond equivalent exchange, huh? I remember back when that was the principle you lived by. How have you been finding tipping the scales?" Ed must have matured a lot over the years to step away a concept that had shaped so much of his views so many years ago, finding a way to learn and grow beyond it.

And Ed did have a point about the usefulness of knowing at least a bit of Xingese. If Roy wanted to continue his upward growth in his career, it would be beneficial to be able to communicate effectively with a country they had close ties with. They would have to go further in depth than what Ed was offering for full fluency, but the basics would be a good starting point. If he were to ever visit Xing for any reason, it would feel most polite to at least greet and thank whoever he was meeting with in their own language. Even if he wouldn't be able to manage a full conversation, the attempt would at least offer respect for their culture.

So he nodded with an approving smile. "Alright. Some time when we have a few hours to set aside, that would be great. I'm more familiar with the verbal language than the writing, but it's been more than a few years since I've studied either. I'd be safe to assume we'll be starting more or less from scratch." There were a few half-remembered phrases he could manage off the top of his head, but as a whole, it would be better to go in without any assumptions.

"You really have been everywhere since the last time I saw you." Though his tone did imply he was a bit impressed by that, it quickly changed to a familiar teasing when he added, "Who would have expected you to become so worldly. Though I can't say it comes as much of a surprise that you aren't staying in one place for long." Even in his time in the military and before the Promised Day, he'd seen Ed in more places around Amestris than most people twice his age. And it sounded like that had expanded significantly since last they'd met.

Taking another sip of his coffee, he contemplated what Ed might consider fun. They'd really never had the sort of more personal type of discussion where things they enjoyed doing really came up. There were a few more general things Roy could think of to suggest, and if something stood out to Ed, they could go from there.

"Well, there are a few bars and places to go dancing," he offered with a casual wave of his hand. Those places had been there for quite a while now. "A billiards hall just opened if you're interested in that. And there's a festival tomorrow on the outskirts of the city. I went last year, and they closed off the streets for vendors, food, and music. They had a bonfire in the evening, as well. It sounds like this year should be similar. It's worth checking out if you have the time."

Ed laughed a little. "Maybe the political end might be boring, but the rest of it? That I'd love to hear more about. It's gotta be exciting helping to rebuild it. All the ground work, and gettin' your hands dirty." Ed found that part fascinating. "Al and I have done a lot to help people we've met while traveling, and it's been a great experience overall. I've learned a lot by doing it. We decided to go beyond the concept of equivalent exchange and see how it worked by giving back more. I know it's different than what you're doing in Ishval, but I still think it's great."

He didn't want to intrude too much into it. Ed remembered what Hawkeye had told him about the war and Roy's role in it. But he still wanted to let Roy know he thought the restoration was a good thing. The people of Ishval deserved to have their homeland back considering what had been done to them. He didn't know how much Roy would want to talk about it so he didn't ask any more questions.

"Yeah, it's definitely one of the more harder languages to learn considering they use symbols instead of words, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. Maybe I could teach you a few words sometime if you want." He didn't see why he couldn't show Roy a few basic phrases of Xingese. He knew Roy was probably really busy but surely there'd be time for that. "It might come in handy knowing a little about it."

He wondered why Roy had never gotten around to going to Xing. "I recommend going there if you ever get the chance. Even if it's work related." At some point, as Roy moved up the ranks, he might want to visit Xing and discuss a treaty between the two nations. While both countries were friendly with each other, solidifying that might be a good idea. "Especially now that the train between Xing and Amestris is up and running. Makes traveling there a lot easier."

Ed smiled. "I stay in palace with Ling, but I do traveling around the country when I can. I've been able to do it more often now that my research out West is finished." The west hadn't had much to offer, but Ed still enjoyed meeting some of the people there, though the government in Creta left a lot to be desired considering it didn't treat all of its citizens well.

"Aerugo really nice too. I love the food there, and the people are usually nice. Though there's still some mistrust of Amestrians from when we were fighting them, but I haven't ran into any trouble there when I visited. I was thinking of going back maybe next year." The only place he hadn't been to was Drachma, but relations between Amestris and Drachma were still strained enough that neither him nor Al wanted to risk it.

"It's been a long while since I've been here other than to see Winry for maintenance on my automail. I wanted to come back and visit and see what everyone has been up to." Then he smiled sheepishly. "Al's been on my ass about keeping in touch so I'm trying to do better with it. Dunno how long I'm going to stay for, but Winry said I can stay as long as I like, so I might stick around for a while." Resembool wasn't that far from Central. Only a couple hours on the train so it would make visiting his friends in Central easier. "I bet there's some fun things to do in the City. Got any suggestions?"

[bryte-eyed-athena]

Afrofuturism in the work of Janelle Monáe

Ashley Clarke, a curator for the Brooklyn Academy of Music, defined Afrofuturism as “the centering of the international black experience in alternate and imagined realities, whether fiction or documentary; past or present; science fiction or straight drama.”

Themes of Afrofuturism can be found throughout the works of Janelle Monáe. Her previous albums like The ArchAndroid and The Electric Lady showcase this through the exploration of androids as a new “other.” Today I want to talk about one of her most recent projects, Dirty Computer, and the way it contributes to the conversation on Afrofuturism. Janelle Monáe released Dirty Computer as an album and a 48 minute long Emotion Picture to draw her audience into a visual and auditory world of her own making. The dystopian future she presents to us is very similar to our own current reality, except that the voices being amplified are those that have historically been silenced. People of color and the LGBT+ community are central in this story rather than pushed off screen. Dirty Computer is so powerful because it focuses on joyful rebellion, love, and freedom in an oppressive dystopian setting.

The project, as Monáe has shared, can be split into three parts: Reckoning, Celebration, and Reclamation.

Part I: Reckoning

gif credit: scificinema

gif credit: scificinema

The Emotion Picture begins with Monáe’s character Jane 57821 laying out how her society has begun to capture people deemed dirty in order to “clean” them of their supposed filth against their will. This is meant to produce beings that are stripped of all individuality and ready to conform to societal norms and expectations. Jane tells the audience that, “You were dirty if you looked different, you were dirty if you refused to live the way they dictated, you were dirty if you showed any form of opposition at all. And if you were dirty it was only a matter of time.” The dichotomy between dirty and clean has created a system where an entire class of people can be demonized and oppressed. This foreboding tone at the beginning prepares the viewer for the grim implications of the cleaning process in this universe.

Dirty Computers are strapped to a table and forced to undergo the “Nevermind” which is a program that deletes memories. It is a process that is horrifying because of what it symbolizes to the individual and entire communities of people. To erase someone’s memories is to erase who a person is. The character of Mary Apple 53, Jane’s love interest, shows us just how alien a person can become once their memories are gone. The horror of erasure is also something that marginalized communities have faced for centuries and continue to face today.

In an interview on Dirty Computer, Janelle Monáe said “I felt a deeper responsibility to telling my story before it was erased. I think that there’s an erasure - of us, and if we don’t tell our stories they won’t get told. If we don’t show us we won’t get shown.” Afrofuturism is a response to this erasure of black people and people of color in culture, history, and art. Monáe has made a deliberate choice to tell her story even if it might get erased because if she doesn’t do it then no one else will. Remaining silent would be to assist in that erasure and Afrofuturism is all about refusing to be erased.

This first part of the Emotion Picture is all a reckoning with the Dirty Computers and how they are pushed to the margins. The lyrics in Crazy, Classic, Life speak about how the same mistake made by two people on different ends of the spectrum of social acceptability is punished unequally. Take A Byte follows it with a more upbeat tone, but even then the lyric “I’m not the kind of girl you take home to your mama” speaks to a feeling of being outside social norms.

There are moments of light and joy that are counterweights to the dire situation Jane is in. These come in the form of her memories which are played one final time before they are erased. Jane’s life before she was captured was filled with exploration, youth, love and celebration.

Part II: Celebration

Gif credit: normreedus

Gif credit: daisyjazzridley

Gif credit: nerd4music

Dirty Computers seem to recognize that they are living on borrowed time and that any day could be the day they are forcefully disappeared. This is why they fill each moment with as much fun, life, color, and joy as they can. There are many scenes at clandestine parties where Dirty Computers live freely and openly despite the threat of drones or police that could capture them at any moment. It is important to have these scenes of celebration though because Afrofuturism is also about providing hope.

The future must be a hopeful one if we are to strive for it and Afrofuturism allows us to be creative in crafting our visions of a hopeful future. Even though Monáe’s future is dystopian, there is still room for hope and joy because those are the things that make life worth living. These Dirty Computers have to live their lives joyfully because they don’t know when they’ll be sterilized.

In the interview mentioned previously, Monáe added that “I had to make a decision with who I was comfortable pissing off and who I wanted to celebrate. And I chose who I wanted to celebrate, and that was the Dirty Computers.” The LGBT+ community, people of color, black women, immigrants, and low income people have all been mentioned as people Monáe wished to celebrate. This celebration comes intertwined with images and themes of rebellion as expressed in Jane’s memories. Screwed, Django Jane, Pynk, Make me Feel, and I Like That are the songs that embody celebration the best. Whether it's a celebration of sexuality, femininity, unity, or of self love it is all encompassed in these songs. Jane is shown connecting with others and being unapologetically proud of herself. We also see her falling in love with two people, Zen and Ché, and we see them love her in return.

Gif credit: thelovelylights

Viewing these memories and interacting with Jane seems to encourage the questioning of authority. The employee utilizing the Nevermind process seems to question why he should be deleting Jane’s memories at all. Mary Apple 53, previously named Zen, also directly questions their matriarch after speaking with Jane and realizing that she’s connected to her. It all culminates in a nonviolent escape attempt where Jane, Zen, and Ché reclaim their names, bodies, and their lives.

Part III: Reclamation

Gif credit: thelovelylights

The Emotion Picture ends with Jane 57821 and Mary Apple 53 freeing themselves, and their recently arrived lover Ché, from the facility. They escape without harming others the way they themselves have been harmed. By leaving they are reclaiming their freedom and their right to be proud of being Dirty Computers. They refuse the new names that were forced upon them and leave to rediscover the memories of the life they lived before capture.

It is a hopeful ending that plays into the themes of Afrofuturism. Even though both Jane and Zen’s memories were erased they still have the ability to create new memories and stories. Their ability to recreate their past as well as create a new future was not taken away. As they escape the song Americans can be heard in the background. The lyrics subvert the typical American patriotism expressed by racist white southerners. The trope of preserving gender roles and being a gun carrying american are satirized in these lyrics. America as a whole is being reclaimed by Janelle as a place for the people who have been marginalized.

Janelle sings “Don’t try to take my country/ I will defend my land/ I’m not crazy baby/ nah I’m American.” This sentiment is typically espoused by xenophobic americans, but when it is sung by Janelle she is saying that she won’t be forced out of America due to the bigoted beliefs of the people who hate her. She also pleads for the listener to love her for who she is which is something that has been denied to black women for centuries. The song ends with a powerful message of reclaiming America by Rev. Dr. Sean McMillan who said “Until Latinos and Latinas don't have to run from walls/ This is not my America/ But I tell you today that the devil is a liar/ Because it's gon' be my America before it's all over.”

This also shows themes of Afrofuturism since Monáe is reclaiming her history and is refusing to be excluded from it. She is asserting her presence and that of all the Dirty Computers by saying that they too have a claim to America. The Emotion Picture and the album are both a masterpiece of Afrofuturism art and music. Monáe masterfully weaves various musical genres and visual storytelling to show her pride in being a black queer woman. There is no other artist like Janelle Monáe, and I am excited to see what new worlds she will take us to next.

[puckwritesstuff]

🎵 87

87. "Listen to the Music" - The Doobie Brothers

“What the people need is a way to make 'em smile It ain't so hard to do if you know how”

This is one of the happiest, most positive songs on my Wrapped, and I still made it depressing, lol XD

Thank you for the ask!

---

The houses of the village were built enough that most of the people had moved out of the Great Hall. Sigyn’s was going to be one of the last ones finished— she needed an office and a proper nursery, and she also wasn’t going to force any of her people to stay in a place that was not a home while she had one. And in any case, Bruce had insisted they put a bed in her office in the Great Hall. She said she didn’t need one, but it was nice to have, especially as her pregnancy developed.

Angrboða approached Sigyn with a wrapped bundle in her arms. Sigyn had noticed that she was hard at work on something, but Angrboða had kept it from her. She now handed the bundle to Sigyn.

“I, um, I know I should be working on blankets and such,” she said. “Considering how few looms we have. But I still have a few things stored from Asgard, and I’m not particularly handy, so I thought that this might…”

Sigyn pulled the wrapping aside and saw that she was holding and elaborate, woven and embroidered tapestry depicting Heimdall. Sigyn gasped, her eyes welling with tears.

“I know Loki still weighs heavily on your mind,” Angrboða said. “As he does on mine. But your father was a good man, and your son should know him.”

Sigyn smiled. “Thank you.”

“Of course, your majesty,” Angrboða said, stepping away.

Sigyn looked over the tapestry again, and a thought entered her mind.

“Boða, wait.”

Angrboða turned around.

“Would you… I mean to say, Loki always spoke very highly of your skill as an artist and craftswoman,” Sigyn said.

“I’m flattered,” Angrboða said.

“I know that it might seem silly,” Sigyn said. “But could you make a few more of these? Of Odin and Frigga, and…”

“The princes?” Angrboða said.

Sigyn nodded. “There’s value in keeping our history, our culture. Just because we have lost all that we have, doesn’t mean we have to lose that. I would like you to head our Cultural Preservation efforts.”

Angrboða blinked. “I… I would be honored, your majesty.”

She bowed and left. Sigyn looked over the tapestry again, tracing the yarn that made the edge of her father’s helmet. She used her magic to hang the tapestry from one of the cross beams in the ceiling. Her hand came to rest on the slight swell of her stomach.

“You should have known your grandson,” she said, her voice quiet.

---

Sigyn was lying in bed, trying to read a report from Volstagg for the fifth time, when Angrboða, without knocking, walked into the bedroom, the components of a loom surrounded by Angrboða’s deep blue magic and assembling themselves next to Sigyn’s bed.

“Boða, you know I’m not—”

“You can take an hour off,” she said. “And you don’t have to do any weaving. I need someone to prepare the yarn and everyone else is busy.”

“I’m busy,” Sigyn said.

“I checked with Sif and Banner,” Angrboða said. “They both agreed that you could use some recreation without the interruption of work.”

Sigyn rolled her eyes.

Angrboða handed Sigyn some yarn.

“Braid the strings together so I can put it through,” she said.

Sigyn did as she was told, braiding pre-cut strings of undyed yarn with stark white. She looked over at what was on the loom and saw that Angrboða was working on the shoulders of someone in green.

“Is this..?”

“Oh,” Angrboða said, looking at the loom. “Yes.”

Sigyn looked at the stark white string again.

“It should be half blue,” Sigyn said.

Angrboða paused. “Are you certain?”

Sigyn put a hand over her stomach. Her skin had gotten so cold, and she could feel her son gently kicking inside of her.

“My child will be half Jotun,” Sigyn said. “That’s not something I intend to hide. From him, or from Asgard. Loki accepted who he was by the end, all of who he was. I would not have that part of him erased.”

Angrboða nodded, summoning a royal blue spool of yarn. Sigyn clipped the stark white string in half and measured out some of the blue to braid in. Angrboða wove in silence for a moment.

“He always loved you,” Angrboða said. “Even back then.”

“He would have married you if you hadn’t left,” Sigyn said.

“That would have been a mistake,” Angrboða said.

“He would have been happy,” Sigyn said.

“He never wanted ‘happy’,” Angrboða said. “He wanted you.”

Sigyn considered that, putting a hand on her stomach again.

“We don’t always get what we want,” Sigyn said. “He said himself that satisfaction was not in his nature. He died alone, and scared. He couldn’t hear Thor calling for him, he couldn’t feel his brother’s hands…”

Angrboða stopped for a moment and put a hand on Sigyn shoulder.

“He loved you,” she said.

“I know,�� Sigyn said. “I think I always knew.”