#say good afternoon guys
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yesterday i conquered my fear of showering in a men’s locker room and walking into the steam room in just my undies
#steam room was fun#got pretty full so at some point i had to stand up and leave#small town gym rules díctate you say hello and goodbye to the room#so i just stand up#say good afternoon guys#and show them all my cute lil butt#cuz i workout in a jockstrap#oops#bet they loved it tho
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I believe Kamala- despite every word she has ever spoken on the matters- is actually deeply pro-Palestine, pro-trans & overall a progressive hero, because I understand that when democrats say repugnant reactionary things while campaigning they are actually lying! which is good & normal for so-called democratic elections!!!!! if you listen to the gnomes who live inside my walls you'll understand her real values, which she'll totally pinky promise act upon once you reward her lies & elect her! you dumb third party voters would understand this if u payed attention in civics class 💅💅💅
#do you votescold blue no matter whos even hear yourselves#like i say this from the glass house of mental illness i too live in but yall are fucking clinically deranged#'u see the good guys will lie to us to seem like bad guys until the season 4 finale when plot twist reveals thay r good!' LUNACY!!!#santa clause is more real than a promise out of the mouth of a democrat i am BEGGING liberals to understand (and give a shit about) this#sorry i guess unlike the 'injustice sensitivity' many american neurospicies love using as a shield for when they do racist things i just#have boring I Dont Like Being Lied To autism which uh is preventing me from (well a lot!) getting on the imperialism train that many#of you are twisting yourselves into pretzels of cognitive dissonance & ahistorical nonsense in order to cope with!#vote if you want idgaf but stop posting electoral cope!!! stop seeking absolution for the crimes youre cosigning!! you cant have it all!!!!#i'll see you in another 4 years when nothing has been done about climate catastrophe or genocide or lgbtq rights or reproductive rights#bc if- and its still a huge if- kamala wins i know for FACT the usual suspects are already cooking up excuses as to why she cant follow thr#through on any of the crumbs of progressive policy she claims to stand by. its already the senates or SC fault right 🙄#ugh anyway now im just going down the 'every easily identifiable lie of the dems that I'M somehow the bad guy for noticing' rabbit hole#and that leads to nowhere but madness and an afternoon wasted 😤
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thinking about flustered venti again.
#BECAUSEES#not only is it a deviation from what he usually is—calm and collected when it comes to the face of such manners of flustering !!#(he is the same guy who literally laughs at the traveler when they tried and went that one won’t work) (<- i think of these lines every day)#btw.#and besides the point of it being cute#just the idea of being able to break down those walls enough for a few seconds#that he is rendered Spechless.#that the bard who is sooo good with his words. whose tongue is silver sharp. who cannot come#up with a good enough comeback and flounders ….#anyways i WILL be making this about bard of ven. as usual#i fear#idk i feel like bard is more easier to get to out of the two#so ven can just come up and wrap his arms around bards waist and softly go good afternoon#and bard is like. swats at his hat. Hi.#(<- not pictured ven giggling)#anyways#ven covering his face and desperately trying to cover his glowing and bard is just sitting there with the biggest >:3#gently holds ventis cheek. doing okay little song?#ven vc (glowing more now) can you Please give me A Minute#lantern says stuff#the important part of that phrasing is “out of the two of them”—good luck if you ARENT ven LMAO
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Tidbits about Food
What we've learned about everyone's food preferences!
Lizel
likes: tea and fruit water
dislikes: cheese, but he can eat it
cannot drink alcohol at all
Gil
likes: meat, alcohol
dislikes: chocolate and sweets. can't stand even the smell. mushrooms
Eleven
likes: sweets, alcohol, pretty much everything. stomach is a bottomless pit
dislikes: ?
he has a habit of biting the rim of his glass
#a gentle noble's vacation recommendation#a mild noble's vacation suggestion#穏やか貴族の休暇のすすめ。#休暇#manga#japanese webnovel#i'll think of this as a vacation and enjoy it#my personal headcanon is that gil specifically likes strong and bitter flavored alcohol like whiskey and red wine#doesn't that just fit his vibe#he's definitely a red over white guy#rum might be good too. one again dark over light#dark liquors over the clear stuff like vodka#except maybe gin#i've only had gin like once but#idk i don't drink much but it's fun to think about#i imagine lizel mostly drinks black tea#because of the pseudo european setting#he takes it with milk or lemon#(OR don't do those at the same time folks)#and sugar just when he feels like something sweet#like an afternoon pick me up#i imagine he's also a fan of fruity teas#and white teas#also juice! or rather fruit water#lizel is ALWAYS drinking fruit water in canon#eleven literally eats everything idk what else to say#the biting is a leftover habit from teething as a child#lizel also drinks coffee but he prefers tea#jazz hands tell me your headcanons!
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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Sonny Wortzig is the world’s best husband (robbed a bank to pay for his trans wife’s surgery) and the world’s worst bank robber (failed so hard) cmon this is the website that appreciates all things queer and/or cringefail
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#apct.txt#al pacino character tournament#al pacino#sonny wortzik#dog day afternoon#propaganda#though i will say the real life sonny (john wojtowicz) was a uhhh less than stunning character#like i love sonny dont get me wrong but im also not gonna walk around pretending he was a good person In Real Life#'oh nox this is literally a shitty people tournament' I KNOW i just odnt wanna spread misinfo/misconceptions#about a real life guy
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#spent yesterday afternoon at a guided tour in the pinacoteca di brera lead by the chief restorer#he talked about conservation and restoration of a bunch of paintings they have there snd before the tour began he asked#if there were any art historians or restorers or conservationists#and there were a couple and i said i was a conservation sciences student#so he spent the next two hours nodding at me and going 'as my collegue may tell you/may confirm/etc' whenever any technical detail came ul#not only me but ge often included me as his 'colleague'#and i was blushing furiously bc of the HONOUR of being called his colleague but also. I AM NOT 😭#im just some dumbass student but i didnt have the heart to say it out loud#so when the tour ended i approached him and thanked him and explained that im a student#and he showed me a giant IRR picture of a painting#and i found out my professors worked there so we chatted for a while#and i was so happy bc like THIS GUY!!! IS THE CHIEF!!! OF THE RESTORATION TEAM!!!!!! AND WE ARE HAVING A NICE CHAT!!!!#like i knew what he was talking about and that was mindblowing to me#didnt feel as much an an imposter for a good 10 mins
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who would've thought that me this morning clicking on a random history course on the ucas website would lead to me having a full-on crisis and reevaluating what exactly i want to do
#i know working in the press would be a dream for me. but unfortunately i am also a history student at heart (even the way i approach my#journo classes now reeks of “i studied history for seven years before getting here and was quite good at it if i say so myself”)#i also know that even if i get a history degree i can always pursue a career in journalism anyway. a lot of people in the industry do not#have journalism degrees. but if i go and do journo but then have a change of heart there is nothing that can be done#sorry guys for rambling about this here but i can't speak to anyone at college now until tuesday afternoon. but i literally cannot hold thi#in rn. if anyone wants to give me any advice it would be greatly appreciated lol
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Looks like I just lost another close friend to guy who isn't worth a pile of dog shit. 😊
#my best friend no less#i cried about this shit practically all afternoon but i'm all out of tears and now i'm just pissed off.#this shit has been going on for a long ass time but i've finally reached my breaking point with it#i love her#but she is delusional#and it kills me to say that#but that whole “relationship” (if you even want to call it that) is fake. all he cares about is money not her#the worst part is that she knows it too#oh but she “loves him” and “wants to give him one last chance” girl what the fuck?#oh but better yet he dumped her once 2 years ago already and i've hated his punk ass since#never should've gotten back tother after that and i told her as much even back then#all he does is make her cry#not do anything arount their town house#and sit on his ass and watch tv or sleep when he's not working#that's the tame stuff too i could say sooo much worse but i'm actually not trying to air her dirty laundry out her#i'm just pissed off#but suddenly IM the bad guy when tell her i won't support her or this “relationship” when she told me they were getting back together today#this is after i helped her and her parents ans brother move all her stuff out of the town house last Monday and back to her parents place#after she told me they were done for good#but IM the bad guy for bringing up all of fhe reasons listed above and all of the REALLY bad things about the relationship#when i tell her i won't be supporting her any longer and that i'll be walking away if she goes back to him#best part is her family agrees with me and they tell her all the things i say about him and then some#but when i go out on the line and put my heart down on the table for her and all i get back is a text saying:#“i don't really like how you're texting right now so we'll talk about this later.”#girl#i don't know whether or not i want to cry harder or strangle her#i think it's both#so yeah i think i just lost my best friend to a guy who doesn't remotly deserve her and everything kicks rocks rn#it's just like my other friend all over again#why do my friend have such dog shit taste in men
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happy flat fuck friday I feel likr I've been run over by a steamroller <3
#someones car alarm (?) went off in the middle of the night and then i couldnt sleep properly again after#and kept having nightmares.. had a rly scary one right before i woke up where i was lactating blood and it wouldnt stop coming out#i onoy noticed at first bc the shirt i was wearing had massive growing bloodstains onnthe front and then i took it off qnd there it was#and no one was around and it was night and i went outside and i was on this empty rocky beach and j had this sudden realisation#that i was going to die here like this. i was rly lightheaded from the blood loss so i sat down and just stared at the water#and then my alarm went off like fucking hellllll. wild dysphoria dream i guess 🫠🫠🫠🫠#anyway yeah whatever just gotta get thru work today hey the moons out sorry unrelated just noticed her. hi#climbing was fun last night tho :^) and i have a concert tomrorow yayyyy#dont know the band super well but only bc i havent listened to much of them but i like all ive listened to theyll be sick live i reckon#my roommate knows them more than i do but wouldnt go by herself so im dragging her with me >:)#and surprisingly a fair few number of ppl from climbing are going too which is cool ill try n say hi to some of them#actuallt there are 2 bands i should listen to the album of the other one before tomorrow too. mahbe on the bus home#guys i am sotireddddd 😭😭😭😭#MAY skip my afternoon meds so i can sleep straight after showering and eating once im home. we'll see#depends what i have to do this afternoon at work i dont even rember.. i think i have training maybe#we willl seeeee i dont mind being at work that much anyway its all good. maybe i will take my meds so i can play elden ring later#okayyyy bye#.diaries
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In my mind
Yes exploring Yingxing's relationships with the High Cloud Quintet is so so nice, it's fun I love to think about them
And sure exploring his relationships with ppl from the Zhuming like his master General Huaiyan can be even better
But the need to explore his relationship to his family despite what little time he had with them is ingrained within me and I feel a tad bit insane thinking about it
Mhmhm hmm hmnm
#Good afternoon everyone#I woke up not that long ago and yet the Yingxing brainrot never stops#So I must say once again: Yingxing with survivors guilt#Hear me out guys#HEAR ME OUT#I have so many thoughts about his relationships with everyone in his life and I can't shut up about it#Hsr#Honkai star rail#Yingxing#You might say Jaxie this isn't smth worth exploring there are more interesting thi- SHUT UP#What happened to his family and home shaped his entire life long goal and legacy#No matter how much time went by he was still adhering to that goal even as it paired with a genuine passion for craftsmanship#And since hyv is unlikely to talk more about his family in the future in favor of his xianzhou times#I need to fill in the blanks of them lingering in the back of his mind no matter how far he goes and who he meets and just the idea of#What could have been#Y'know? Like I need to explore that it feels wrong not to
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forgot my password 😞 my ass is NEVER logging out of here brah
#this is ooc peace and love on planet earrg#I MISS MY ACCOUNT#I MISS HER SO MYCH#i forgot the email password for this acc and i need to log into that email to recover my password#guys im so dumb#well there goes the login to my 36th gmail account …#sigh.#i was so proud of myself too. when i made this acc i was like wow.. i will take a picture of the email i used…#???BUT NOT THE PASSWORD??????#SERIIOYSLY#i miss my wifr tails#thank god i know the password to my normal acc though !! win#tumblr: 1#chasebird mod: 1#we are tied…#anywyas all this to say i reallyyyy miss being ill on my account :(#specifically about epic the musical (has never been ill abt it on there once(#no one reads tags i’m safe (lie)#this could also not be ooc that’d be funny#You know. people use bird brained as an insult but birds are very smart#it’s such a complement to me#like yeah thanks 😋😋#that’s me!!! bird.#so far into the tags.. 🇹🇭 hello from thailand 😚#im not in thailand btw just thought id mention. thought it’d be funny#father i long for the motherland….#ไม่ได้มีใครอยู่#my thai is bad sorry 😞#okay that’s long enough good afternoon good morning and goodnight ��️#born to be [REDACTED]
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so fun fact: my phone accidentally dropped from my locker yesterday breaking the screen completely, it has one tiny crack but the liquid crystals got busted, a repair will take either 3 to 7 days, depending if the express shipping is successful or not 😭😭
here the thing:
- i had to ask family to lend me an old fashioned alarm clock. i don’t think i have relied on one in almost 20 years!
- i now need to bring some mangas to read at work during my break, i have no news or anything else to read, nor music to listen to. yesterday i was literally bored to death just staring into the void once i was done eating
- no music on my commute unless i use some cds. which is some damage control but i like my music on shuffle!!! (before you get angry at me i listen to new albums in order but once i’m familiar with them they go in the shuffle bin)
- no music at home for the same reason! i either stick to cds or i need to make a huge effort to make a gigantic playlist with all the music on my phone (which is still a tiny fraction of what a normal person listens to but still). i suck doing chores while listening to music, now it’s extra hard mode if i can’t even listen to the music i want. no music i want when i draw or just chill in front of my laptop!! i’m suffering!!
- i never realized how much dependent i am on the small internet, having it on a small device means i can check it while on the bed or couch. now i need to drag my laptop everywhere and it’s more bothersome (needs to be plugged always, the old battery lasts no more than 20/30 minutes)
- i can’t document stellina being the cutest babie ever
- any kind of communication is cut off till i’m home in front of my laptop. and like i’m bound to be glued to it if i want to chat with anyone
#it's wild that i only got a smartphone with an internet connection only in july 2015#it's barely 8 years and yet it shaped my life in ways i never noticed before#like how did i survive a 30 minutes break at work for 4 years without entertainment????#also music#i listen to such few bands i can fit them all on my phone but!!! i need to listen to everything on shuffle#i'm so dependent on listening to music this way this is so tragic#anyway please give me the atheist equivalent of praying my phone will be repaired on friday#i got double unlucky bc the repair guy says he gets parts on wednesday but yesterday being tuesday afternoon was too late#if this happened one day prior i would had to suffer only one day...#i couldn't retrieve my old phone bc even if i never threw it away i never recharged it so the battery died for good#p
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rant in tags bc I want to sob into a pillow
#I can’t describe to you guys what my job is like. I know I post ridiculous funny stuff but it’s very rarely funny in the moment#I’m a substitute teacher‚ which means that even though I’m in the building EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR#and even though I’ve known most of these kids since LAST DECEMBER (2021)#they just. don’t fucking listen to a word I say#it took 14 minutes and a dean of students in the room with me today to get one of my classes to stop talking over/ignoring me#and I’m not even yelling at them‚ I’m literally trying to 1.) say ‘good afternoon folks!’ and 2.) tell them what the assignment is#all day long I’m ignored and disrespected by the same kids and there are no consequences because this is a charter school#and day after day I’m also disrespected by staff because I’m ‘just a sub’ and you#everyone keeps calling out of work#we finally filled the last VACANCY we had TWO WEEKS AGO. we’ve been down 3 full time teachers since the beginning of the year#and as of two weeks ago we finally filled the last vacancy. so I could go back to JUST substituting.#but today the 7th grade ELA teacher just gave us his one-week notice which means that now that I am the ONLY BUILDING SUB#(we started the year with 3‚ now it’s just me)#I have this terrible suspicion that I’m gonna get stuck with 7th grade ELA for the rest of the year. while trying to do grad school.#I just… I’m exhausted all the time#and I act like I’m not but I am#this job is so demeaning and exhausting and I love my students (specifically my 8th graders and high schoolers)#but I’m not gonna see them for the rest of the year. I’m gonna be stuck in 7th grade ELA I just know it#when I say that the middle school is like an active war zone I’m not joking#I had to stop a kid from choking out his classmate today#I leave work every day with headaches because it’s always so fucking loud‚ even in the middle of lessons#I want my old job back‚ this year has been exhausting and I don’t know how I’ve ended up taking on so much more than I’m supposed to#I covered 6 out of 7 periods again this week. the most that any full time teacher has to teach is 4 out of 7#and the subbing coordinator keeps giving me the heaviest coverage loads and then telling me he’s ‘disappointed’ by how tired I am#he also gave every single person on the subbing team specific shoutouts in his daily emails… except me#tldr I’m feeling disrespected by students and overworked by my coordinator and undersupported by admin and taken for granted by coworkers
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#tag talk#sativa is good when I'm around other people and indica is good when I'm alone#I haven't been ingesting for a while but I felt like it today#I was gonna give my friend my old laptop cause I got a hand me down from one of my brothers so now my friend can play minecraft with me#so he came over and we played modded minecraft all afternoon#he's technically my ex but it was a very amicable breakup and we're still friends and grab lunch most weeks and play aoe2 and minecraft#I was feeling mildly weird about my body for a month or so and was considering stopping hrt until I figured it out#but after cutting my hair I'm feeling great about my chest again#genderqueer. genderfluid. bigender. I don't really know. I'm gender-something.#at least I definitely know I'm not into women. even when I feel like a top I'm into guys.#the polycule sorted that question definitively.#I like to say I need to do something twice in order to know I don't like it. so uh... doing women twice haha#my problem is I'm way too into red flags#either I want the other guy to be horrible or else I have to be slightly sleazy to compensate.#all the times I've topped were situations with very steep power dynamics.#idk. I'm high and rambling whatever bye
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There's a woman at work who says my name again and again, a woman who calls me my life, and 2 who have told me they love me 😭 they each have their own struggles with communication or their own special needs so this means a lot
#also omg this guy rly surprised me. he usually only repeats hello good afternoon good morning hatikvah and yerushalayim shel zahav#and he was there in my english lesson and remembers the fruits in English! hes amazing#im proud of the girls for achieving all that today. was super productive :) some were less well behaved than others tho lol#the tone she says my name in is so cute too. and SHE SAYS MY NAME AT HOME TOO 😭 her mom was like who is this#it speaks
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