#just the idea of being able to break down those walls enough for a few seconds | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bumblehoneybee · 1 year ago

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Hi, I loved your poppy playtime oneshots and your writing is just magnificent. I saw that you're accepting ideas, so if you like and feel comfortable you could write how the group (Poppy, Kissy and our adorable boy Dogday) would react to Player being protective of them and ending up getting hurt in one of the smiling creatures' chases. Have a good night and thanks in advance.

Guardian Angel

Most of the miniature creatures had scuttled off into the unknown once Catnap fell. It left the Playcare far safer than before, enough so that Poppy and Kissy could come down from their hiding place and properly walk around with you and Dogday. A relief, being able to at least somewhat relax now, before the final fight to come.

You collapse onto your butt into one of the rickety chairs within Home Sweet Home. Dogday chuckles at your long, dramatic groan of exhaustion, resting his head in your lap with a sigh. You pat his head, pouting, but pleased with the outcome thus far. You've been doing a good job, you think. Not the best, but good, especially since you were able to save poor Dogday from becoming those mini critters' next meal.

A weight settles onto your shoulder. "Good idea! A break sounds just lovely."

You eye Poppy. "What are you taking a break from? Dogday and I are the only ones who've been running around!"

"It's exhausting to watch you run." Poppy teases back, Kissy nodding in agreement.

You just laugh, fingers raking through Dogday's matted fur. You'll need to try and find a shower for everyone, one with actual running water and maybe some soap. It'd be nice to clean up all the grime you four have been dragging all around. Maybe Home Sweet Home had one?

Before you can voice such a thought, Kissy begins to growl. Your head snaps up, Dogday's too. Poppy grips your head as you stand, staring at Kissy, who faces a nearby hole in the wall with bared teeth and swiping arms.

"Kissy?" Poppy asks. You swiftly pluck the doll up, handing her to Dogday before either could react. "Wha- Angel-!"

You dive forward, snatching the Bubba critter before it could fully lunge at Kissy's next swipe. You throw it off down the hall before it can do any damage to you, then make frantic motions to the others.

"Let's go!"

They don't argue. Kissy takes Poppy back from Dogday, while you haul your buddy up onto your back again. It's a quick sprint down the maze-like halls, one followed by rumbling and distinct screeches of hunger, of anger.

You briefly wonder if the critters hate you for destroy the one that brought them food.

Whoops.

Before you can lament your luck, Dogday shouts. Pink fur fills your vision, knocking you back a few steps. You nearly fall, but Dogday braces on the wall and helps you regain balance. You see Kissy's head frantically swiveling, and peer past her to where a pile, or maybe more of a wall of broken boards and fallen concrete blocks the way forward.

"Shit." You say, twisting to see bright white eyes encroaching on your team. "Fuck."

"Language." Dogday says, half distracted, not that you acknowledge it.

You gaze back towards the wall, see a sliver of space at the very top, easy enough to squeeze through.

"Kissy!" You point, and she gets the idea immediate.

Limber and flexible, she climbs up the boards and metal rebars, easily sliding through the hole. She reaches down, Poppy hiding behind her neck, and grabs Dogday by the scruff to haul him up next. His head is a bit too big, sadly, so with panic, the toys begin to struggle.

"Angel!" Dogday calls down to you.

"Just stay calm!" You call back, facing the approaching sea of ravenous critters. The flare gun hand cocks, loaded and ready. "And be careful! I'll hold them off!"

With that, you charge into the fray, if only to buy more time.

"ANGEL!" Dogday hollers after you. It rips through his vocal chords, rips through his soul, watching you disappear into the darkness peppered with hungry white eyes. "Kissy! Let me go!"

"Why!?" Poppy asks, her and Kissy's view blocked by Dogday. "We need to get you through so Angel-"

"Angel just ran off!" Dogday snaps, squirming. He pushes and pulls at the boards beneath him, knocking them loose as he tries to drag himself back down. Kissy's tug makes his head slam into the broken ceiling, and he hisses. "They need help! Let me go!"

crack

Everyone freezes.

You fire a flare into Kickin's face, twisting around in time to watch Dogday fall backwards, the ceiling falling right after him.

"GUYS!?" You scream, panic firing through your veins like ice water. You twist, try to run towards the new mountain of debris now completely blocking the way forward, but a Crafty digs its teeth into your leg. "FUCK!"

Your flare gun clicks, out of ammo for now. Looks like you'll have to get old school if you want to get out of this.

On the other side of the mountain, Dogday claws at the debris, howling your name to the heavens as though it will bring you to him. Kissy smacks at the higher boards, tugging at the rock and plaster, but to no avail. It was all well and truly stuck and snug.

Poppy, sitting just a few feet away, places her face in her hands. Their angel. . . alone on the other side, left behind because they were trying to buy time for them to escape. And they did escape, without Angel.

Angel, fighting for their life all alone.

Poppy gasps for air, fighting tears.

"We. . . we need to f-find another way around." She says, voice wavering.

Kissy looks back at her, panting, then down to where Dogday doesn't stop, still digging into the debris best he can with his paws. With a shaky sigh, Kissy leans down, hauling Dogday off the floor despite his growls and barks of protest.

Poppy leads the way further into Home Sweet Home, building speed with each step. Angel has saved them. Now it's their turn to save their angel.

#poppy playtime x reader #dogday #dogday poppy playtime #kissy missy #kissy missy poppy playtime #poppy playtime #poppy poppy playtime #poppy’s playtime x reader #dogday x reader #kinda #hope you don't mind how it ended i am a sucker for angst :3c #not me posting this without a title

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pullupinarari · 4 months ago

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How this ends [LH]

Author’s note: THIS is how I really wanted to end the ‘lean your weight on me’ series, so I really had to post this. We can consider this an alternative ending, since everyone made me write a happy ending 🫡 hope yall enjoy this!! Mwah mwah

• masterlist

wc: 4410 - English is not my first language! Feedback is always appreciated

“Leave my heart alone, Y/N. Please, stop hurting me. I can’t take it anymore” - the words you hear from the other side of the line break your heart in a million pieces.

You fucked up, you know you did. You are aware of all the harm you caused, the way you played with Lewis’ feelings, how you used him as you wished, acting selfish towards his own emotions.

But you were hanging on to hope - calling Lewis in the middle of the night, crying out of desperation, regret running through your veins as you tell him how badly you want to go home - to him. You were hoping you would get the Lewis that you used to know, the soft, kind heart that would do everything for you.

But Lewis has spent the last few months of his life trying to recover from the loss of you. After waiting for you for so long, holding himself to a lie that you could come back to him, that you would love him like you used to. Heartbreak after heartbreak, he got over it. He decided to finally focus on himself, and for the past few weeks, he committed himself to being able to let you go for good.

So, when you call him, he can’t help but sigh at your words. His voice sounds annoyed, he can feel the anger building up inside of him - he can’t believe that you are doing this to him again. After disappearing for months, after leaving him behind with nothing or anyone to hold himself to, feeling helpless and on the verge of falling down the abyss where his emotions floated.

He doesn’t want to talk to you, he doesn’t want to hear your cries anymore, he can’t do this to himself again. So he decides to hang up the phone after those words leave his mouth.

He leaves you speechless, your brain running to process what you had just heard. Tasting your own venom, being a victim of your karma, hurts more than you could have ever imagined now.

Lewis tries his best to go back to sleep, trying his hardest to ignore the millions of intrusive thoughts that are invading his brain now. He can feel the pool of anger growing in his chest, it’s incredible how you keep coming back to his life just to disturb him when he seems to have found some kind of peace and comfort in solitude, getting used to being alone by now. “Why can’t you let me go? Why can’t you, for once, leave for good? Stop threatening everyone with your comebacks, you are only causing more harm to all of us that had to watch you leave - especially me” - Lewis talks to himself, tossing and turning in bed, his body not letting him have any rest for the rest of the night.

He feels angry, rage running through his veins as he sighs loudly. He feels like punching something, in need to alleviate all the fire lighting up inside of him - maybe punching a hole in the wall doesn’t sound like a bad idea, but maybe going downstairs to his gym room and destroying a punching bag would be a wiser decision. Still, Lewis decides to act like an adult and gets out of bed, heading to the kitchen to make himself some tea - maybe that will help him calm down his body and spirit without having to destroy something in the house.

His mind keeps running with different thoughts, about how you two used to be so happy before, and how hearing your voice is enough to make him feel sick now.

The truth is, Lewis would do anything for you - and he gave you proof of that during the past eight years. He would put his agenda on hold if you asked him, he would go through every meeting as fast as he could if you needed him. He would do the impossible if you wanted him to, he would go to the moon, he would even burn the tattoos off his arms if you told him to.

It’s ironic how he would fly around the world to find you, but now he knows that you are somewhere out there, and he doesn’t want to see you again. He doesn’t have the will in himself anymore, not feeling strong enough to deal with you again. Deep down, he knows he would find you just to get kicked to the side again if you felt like it.

He sips on his tea slowly, while his eyes scan a portrait that his sister gifted him for christmas: it’s a frame full of pictures, a collection of different moments that Lewis spent with his family. His eyes land on your face a couple of times - it would be impossible for you not to be on most photos, Lewis shared his life with you for nearly a decade.

He grabs the frame from the wall, putting it down on the table in front of him. His eyes note every single detail of you, in every picture that you are in. The way your hair changed during the years, how you used to do your makeup before. He focuses on a picture where it’s just you and him. A candid shot, taken on Lewis’ nephew’s birthday: you two were sitting on the grass, sharing an ice cream, when his sister caught you on camera, capturing how you two were smiling wide, laughing and wrapped in your own bubble of love.

Your facial expressions were light, happy. Lewis remembers that day so well, he still feels in his heart how happy he was during that time - how happy he always was while being by your side. His brain reminds him how you two kept talking about having your own kids. That day - his nephew and niece really gave you your own baby fever, something that never failed to make his heart grow. He never expected your company to turn into such a dark period of his life. It’s crazy how everything changed so fast between you two.

He takes that picture out of the frame, being way too personal to him, the memory attached to it hurting too much. Not only did he lose the love of his life, he also lost the mother to his future kids, a dream that he kept safe in his heart for so long, and only shared with you.

Lewis was so sure that you were the one. Putting a ring on your finger, promising to love you forever, in sickness and health, through the good and the bad - everything felt right with you. But you were the one that couldn’t stick to your vows.

Lewis puts his mug down, the shiny ring on his finger catches his attention - he smiles ironically as his eyes scan the jewel: he was never able to bring himself to take his wedding ring off, even after he knew that you’d stop wearing yours for so long now. He feels a bitter taste in his mouth as he removes the ring from his finger - caressing his own skin, noticing how the mark from the gold band is so noticeable after six years around his finger.

The truth is, Lewis never thought he would take off his ring, and this is a moment of realization for him - growing conscious that he will never have you back. But maybe this is for the best, since all you seem to do is bring pain into his life now.

He puts the ring down on the kitchen counter, not bothering with it anymore, drinking the rest of his tea before heading back to bed. He can’t help but feel this heavy weight on his chest, truly mourning the end of his marriage. Surprisingly, tears don’t even show up in his eyes - he already cried them all for the past couple of months, while he was destroying himself, changing his ways, his plans, stopped being his true self, in hope that he could still get you back if his new being would please you enough.

But you belong to the past now, and Lewis needs to get used to the idea of a future without you - hopefully it might be filled with brighter days, without constantly living in the shadow of all the doubts that you planted in his brain. He wishes that he can, for once, stop feeling so anxious, always waiting for you to walk through the door.

So, now, he might get some sleepless nights, the guilt weighing on him after hanging up the phone to a crying, broken girl that needed his comfort so much. “Give it time, Lewis. You have so many things to hang on to, just be patient until this feeling fades - it will disappear, eventually” - he thinks to himself, before closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep.

On the other side of the line, you are desperate for your soul to stop hurting, the pain being too strong, too deep, too unbearable now - your loud cries don’t even help soothe it. You are still holding your phone in your hands, in a state of shock - your body and mind acting completely in denial, you refuse to believe that those words have left Lewis’ mouth.

Your jaw is clenching, your whole body is tensing, physically hurting now, feeling a whirlwind of emotions so strong that could knock your senses out. You feel lightheaded due to the adrenaline rush that your altered state is causing to your body, and you lay your head on your pillow, staring at the ceiling as you try to catch your breath, your hands gently caressing your chest, as if you’re trying to comfort your broken heart.

Maybe this is what you deserve, maybe you’re getting what you’ve always wanted - all the decisions you made brought you here. You broke his heart so many times, used him as you pleased. You catch yourself wondering “how can I sleep at night?” after doing the love of your life so wrong, so dirty. “How was I capable of doing all that?” - another question erupts in your mind, as you don’t recognize yourself anymore. How could you tear Lewis’ world apart, and you even have the courage to ask him to take you back now, as if nothing happened.

After a night of muffling your sobs with your pillow, you woke up the next day feeling like utter shit. Your eyes are empty, the dark bags around them decorating your face, alongside the tear stains that certainly won’t be gone so soon. You stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment, feeling sorry for yourself. At the same time, you just feel like punching the glass frame in front of you, hating how you managed to ruin your life.

So, this is it. You are alone. It’s official: you have no one to go home to. You have an empty set of four walls waiting for you, with no one inside to hug you, to give you comfort, to make you feel at home. So, what’s the point of traveling back to that place?

You grab your phone, scrolling through a list of potential destinations you can fly to - maybe keeping up with your “travel, party, explore the world” motto will help you forget about how miserable your life feels at the moment.

You went to Iceland, to watch the volcanos and the northern lights, living such a magical experience all by yourself - the back of your mind always reminding you of how Lewis would have loved to be there too. You landed in Sweden next, going to a music festival that, coincidentally, had some of Lewis’ favorite songs playing.

It’s like everything reminds you of him, like your mind is working as fast as a machine, pulling out every single memory you have of him, throwing them to the front of my mind - all at once.

You feel as if a dark cloud keeps chasing you, pouring rain on you, not letting you have a taste of sun, a glimpse of happiness. Even while living memorable and indescribable experiences, you don’t even feel a bit of temporary happiness inside of you during those moments. You can’t enjoy yourself anymore, the world around you feels dark, with no color. You have no will to force it anymore, but you need to find a way to get all this out of your chest.

Sitting on the balcony of your hotel room in Stockholm, you look at the horizon, seeing all the street lights illuminating the night and the city. You decide to grab a pen and a paper and start writing your feelings, as a letter to Lewis.

Your body writes on its own now, pouring all your feelings so naturally into a piece of paper, letting him know every single thing that you’ve been feeling lately. Tears roll down your face as you let him know how much you regret everything that you’ve caused him, all the pain, the hurt, the heartbreaks - and how desperately you wish you could go back and change it, make it alright again, glue his heart piece by piece, embrace him with your arms, shower him in love, comfort and security again.

You know you are hurt by the way he treated you, but you know Lewis all too well: you have no doubt that he didn’t make this decision lightly, and he’s suffering just as much as you are. So, you know that he doesn’t like how this ended, either. And you can’t forget that he has been suffering with this whole situation way before you had, before you realized how badly you fucked up, before you begged him to take you back. So you need to apologize, truly apologize for wrecking his life in the way you did, for destroying your love and your marriage.

He might never want to see you again, but you need to guarantee him that you will never stop loving him, he can’t forget how important he has been to you and how he will always be.

“What hurts the most is that I can’t erase your presence from my body, my soul. I still feel your fingertips on my skin, your touch in me. Everyday, I repeat the same gestures, I take the same steps, I walk through the streets, and your name echoes in every corner - like they are deserted. I look at all the buildings, and it’s like someones written your name on every door, in every car, on the bridges. It’s driving me crazy how that word sounds sweet and bitter at the same time, how you seem to chase me everywhere I go. And what hurts the most, is the way that I have to detach myself, to see if I can get rid of all the times you looked at me and saw the intensity that I used to hold inside of this body, the same intensity I used to love you”, you catch some tears that fall while you write.

“But then I realized, I can’t get rid of the fingerprint that you left on me. The influence you had on me while we grew together for so many years. You changed me, for the better. And I find myself still going back to all the pictures, the messages, the memories of all the smiles, the laughs, the kisses. I read the words that you used to write to me while I’m sitting on a balcony, in this strange town that doesn’t belong to me - before I go and lay on a bed that’s not mine, one where you won’t lie down beside me. The white sheets don’t look as pretty without your body lying in them, the comfort and the warmth aren’t there anymore, because you were the one providing all that to me. I just needed you to feel at home. But I still read the letters, the texts, and your words smell like home, like the homemade bread we tried to bake during the pandemic, like the toast you used to make me for breakfast. And I can’t let that go, because that’s what I am, you are part of what I am. Having you with me is like I can walk barefoot through the world - the feeling of belonging to someone, of feeling safe and sound whenever you are around” - your own words hurt you now, having to take a break to breathe and try to calm down.

“I know that you don’t want to be anywhere near me anymore, but I need to tell you this, I need to let you know that I’m never letting you go inside of me. May our love last in another dimension, lifetime, universe. Because you will always live in me - forevermore” - you put down your pen, sobbing into your hands, giving into your own embrace now, feeling more alone than ever.

The sight in front of you looks blurry from all the tears, but all the city lights are still shining. And it’s just you and the world now, no one else.

You travel for weeks, but you grow tired. There’s no point in trying to fill the void inside of you with trips around the world, it’s useless. You were trying to find your place, somewhere you would feel accepted, a place that could give you that feeling of belonging again, but you give up: you can’t go back to the only place where you belong anymore.

So you just quit. You buy a ticket back to London, on your way back to the set of four walls that you call ‘your house’: empty, cold, lifeless. But that’s your reality now, and you must accept it, you can’t keep on running forever.

You still have the letter you wrote Lewis, thinking incessantly about what to do with it. You don’t have the courage to hand it to him, and you think it would be a cowardly move to just mail it to his address. The piece of paper had been traveling with you, carefully wrapped and kept in your bag, holding the most important feelings of yours inside of it - like it’s a secret that you must hide from the world.

You don’t want to keep carrying it around with you, but you don’t want anyone else to read it, so an idea pops in your mind. You hop in your car, driving to one of the parks where you and Lewis used to go - the one where he showed you your wedding pictures, the one where he sang love songs to you while you watched the sunset near the river.

Once you get there, you walk through the grass, feeling the nature around you, the butterflies flying, the birds singing, the sun feeling a bit shy in between some clouds in the sky. You reach the place where you and Lewis would always sit, where you would have some picnics, near “your” tree. Sitting there, you take a deep breath, while you feel some tears swelling in your eyes already, feeling crushed by all the good memories that you have in this place.

You dig a hole near the tree with your hands, deep enough to hide the letter inside of it and cover it with some dirt, burying your feelings and all the love you and Lewis once shared, in your special place.

“This will always be our place, and it will always feel like love and home”, you say to yourself, as you let the tears flow, mourning now the end of your connection with Lewis.

Meanwhile, Lewis has moved on with his life. He has no idea that you have been writing him letters, that you were visiting places that reminded you of him. He is just focused on his life, on the new projects that he has been working on, and doing his best to make the most out of his performance, on and off track.

Slowly but surely, he has been rising out of the sorrow he was drowning in before. He is trying not to overwork himself, so he uses his free time to go out with friends, to have quality time with the people who care about him. He takes Roscoe for a run, he enjoys the nature surrounding him, he can see the beauty in everything again. He looks people in the eyes, he connects with everyone around himself - like the old Lewis used to do.

Everybody around him has noticed that he is doing better, and the clouds above his head have cleared already. You can’t help but lurk on his social media pages from time to time, keeping up with his pictures, with the announcements he makes - still making you proud, even if you have to watch and support him silently from afar. You even lurk on Roscoe’s page, missing him so much as well.

And after weeks of doing this, of rotting in bed, crying in the safe space of your house - where no one could see you, you start feeling like you might never fully recover from this. And the guilt - oh the damn guilt. It became your best friend now, your most loyal company, never leaving you alone.

You can’t lie, you really would like to see him in person again. You wish you could talk to him, have a friendly conversation, so things wouldn’t have to end this way: in such a dark and cold manner. And you are pretty sure that you have a fever when you buy tickets to Silverstone - risking it one last time, giving yourself one last chance to make things a bit more right. This can’t be it, you and Lewis can’t end on such bad terms.

And no words can describe the way your heart beats so fast when you see your special boy winning his home race once again - after such a hard phase, having the entire crowd cheering his name, his friends and family supporting him, it truly is special. You know he is feeling on top of the world, like he deserves so much.

And you just want to congratulate him after the race, you want to tell him how happy you are for him, how you will always support him, even from a distance. You want to see the look in his eyes when he sees you, hoping that he won’t hate you anymore, that maybe he can give you a smile - that would be enough to stop your entire world by now.

You make your way to his driver's room, feeling anxiety running through your veins as you think about the simple act of knocking on his door - scared of his reaction now. All the ecstasy surrounding the team is contagious, and you smile at some people who recognize you and greet you, allowing you to congratulate the team on another win.

A smile is lying on your lips now, some hope lingering in your heart when you notice how nice people still are to you, even after knowing what happened between you and Lewis. Maybe he’ll be nice to you as well, you might even risk it all and go for a hug, if the time feels right, if he seems ready for it.

But you stop in your tracks before reaching the drivers rooms zone. You immediately spot Lewis in the middle of a small group of people, he’s standing just a couple of meters away from you - the closest you’ve been to him in months. Your body freezes when you immediately recognize his silhouette, suddenly not feeling capable of doing this anymore.

You note every detail in his aspect, the way he looks so healthy and light, the way he is smiling so bright that could light an entire room. He keeps chatting, not even noticing you beside him, and you hear his giggles - erupting directly into your heart, allowing a thousand butterflies to spring free. There they are: the old butterflies, your favorite ones.

Your hands shake lightly as you feel the impact that his presence has in a space full of people. He truly is special.

And you can’t help but realize that you can’t get anywhere near him: not now, not anymore. He’s clearly doing better, so much better than you. And he’s better off without you as well, it’s not fair for you to keep coming back into his life, he deserves better than this. All you do is bring pain into his life now, the bitterness of your presence could be felt from afar whenever you got close to anyone now.

Your eyes dart to a girl that’s near him - they’re clearly just having a chat, but you can clearly see the way she looks at him. And the sting in your chest tells you that there are other people out there that will take good care of him, way better than you could have ever done lately. You don’t want to drag him back into the bad things that you carry with yourself, it’s been enough already. It’s better if you just let him be, it’s better if you leave him for good, letting him live his life, so he can have another chance at a happy ending.

Tears silently escape your eyes as you slowly walk back to your car. You can’t help but look at him one last time, realizing that, this time, he is looking back at you, with wide eyes and his mouth agape.

But all the small remains of hope that you had inside of your heart collapse when you see how he chooses to look away, acting like you were never there. It’s like all the flowers around you died just now, your sobs growing loud as you run out of there, feeling ashamed, completely broken with no way to mend, not knowing how you are going to get back up after all this.

Lewis moved on, and you feel like your entire life just vanished through your fingers, while the light of your life is fading away. You choke on your own cries as if it feels like the world is collapsing around you, crushing your body, soul, mind, heart, into a million different pieces and there’s no way you are going to be yourself ever again after all this. You definitely don’t like how this ended.

#lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton one shot #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton oneshot #lewis hamilton fic #lewis hamilton #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic

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drefear · 1 year ago

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Reader thinks Miguel is cheating idea I had.

Miguel x reader (angst)

TW: (sorta) cheating, anxiety, panic attack.

Miguel?

A pain shot through your chest as he stood there through the window, hands shaky as your eyes welled with tears while you watched him hold her arm and pull her close. How could he? Your hands grabbed at your throat, as if the oxygen was burning your esophagus. HIs eyes bore into her as he pleaded with her about something and you stepped backwards, about to dash for safety and privacy, but your movement must have caught his attention as he made eye contact with you. That was it, your webs shot towards the tallest building you could see and you swung through Nueva York, ignoring how he pushed towards the window you saw him through as you ran, water blurring your vision as you avoided cars.

“Cariño!” Your nickname from Miguel was heard around the city as his voice found your sensitive hearing, the distant hiss of his webs also following you. Glancing behind you, his body moved fast as he trailed! “It’s-”

You swung a hard right through the alleys and snuck through a small alcove, running into an abandoned hospital and hiding into one of the rooms. You sat on the bed and huffed, catching your breath as your emotions were drowned by the adrenaline of being chased. You pushed a button and lowered your mask, then putting it back on as you heard footsteps from a distance away.

Footsteps you knew all too well.

“Cariño, please listen to me.” His voice was far away, but not far enough. You glanced around. The window was broken, but you’d fit through the hole and you weren’t ready to face him because you knew that you would just break down once he looked at you with those beautiful red eyes. The thought of those rubies staring at you made your lungs burn and stomach lurch.

The feeling of something grabbing your wrist broke you from your thoughts, halfway out of the window when you were pulled into something hard and warm.

“Stop running from me!” He begged and his arms wrapped around you as your body began to wrack with sobs, hiccupping. You needed to be away from him, to process everything you were thinking and feeling, everything you saw.

Shoving him backwards, his claws made thick shreds into your costume and a few even made gashes in your skin, hearing him clatter into the hospital bed and tables as you jumped from the window. You swung once more into the brisk air of the city and gulped down the harsh cries that flooded you.

Jumping into the headquarters, you gathered yourself briefly as you walked past the crowds of spider-people and rushed to the anomaly correction room. Seeing everyone working, you found an empty room and hit a few buttons on your watch. As you were about to send yourself home, your watch shut off.

“No, no, no!” You chidded and hit it a few times, trying more as you panicked. “Lyla!” You shouted and the little hologram appeared. “What is happening-”

“He told me to.” She shrugged, “Why? What’s wrong? Are you bleeding?” Her voice made you practically dizzy with anxiety.

“He’s cheating on me! Let me go home!” You screamed and ran your fingers against your mask, seeing her horrified expression.

“I can’t- Ok, hold on.” She watched you pace and your watch turned back on, but it was too late.

“Lyla, off.” His voice made you freeze as you choked from the feeling of him behind you. His footsteps were deafening as your body shook gently, not moving a muscle. Once you felt the heat radiating off of him, a sound stuttered through your lips like a broken, wounded animal. He reached to grab your waist, but your hand caught his and you spun to face him, hardening your face to be able to look at him straight before snatching his hands away from you. Webbing his hands to the wall near him, you fell backwards over a chair as he stared down at your hurt features.

Tapping your wrist, you opened a portal back to your universe and ran through. “Please!” He begged, as you disappeared.

Once you were gone, he snapped his hand out of your webbing, shaking it off. Lyla appeared next to his face, arms crossed. “I didn’t cheat. I was talking to someone about my daughter.” He sighed, “But she got the wrong idea and made a move.” Lyla shifted and dropped her imposing stance, then glanced behind them where the portal closed.

“Why not go after her?”

“I think she made it clear she’s not ready to talk to me yet…”

His shoulders sagged as he sat in a chair near the conference table, running a hand through his hair.

“Mierda.”

#miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel spiderman #miguel o'hara #miguel smut #atsv miguel #angst #miguel ohara angst

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nerdasaurus1200 · 3 months ago

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The hug scene is just too good to not ramble about so let’s get into it

So naturally we’re thrown right into Jinx’s POV here. We start with complete darkness, with the only source of light flickering on and off, her one source of comfort and safety. Just like her, we have NO idea what happened at first. Whether Vander is okay, whether Vi is okay. You can see in her face, Jinx is so alert. And this is so different than usual because in season 1 whenever she was alert like this she still had a very blank look. She was still always kinda teetering on the verge of an episode, the lights were on but no one is home. And here she is FULLY in her mind, fully in the situation, and the poor girl is terrified. Because did she Jinx it again?

She doesn’t know

All she can do is hold Isha close in the darkness and listen as she slowly steps closer to the eerie green light of Vander’s mechanics…

To find by some miracle of the fates, both her dad and her sister are okay. More than okay, they’re reunited. Jinx made Vi understand.

I can’t even begin to fathom the utter relief Vi must feel in this moment. Knowing that despite it all, despite watching him die, her dad is alive. He’s okay, he’s here. And after the few years she’s had this hug is exactly what she needs. She need that moment to let go, and just be in her old man’s arms again and finally stop being a fighter. And it’s just so heartwarming, the way Vander still just cradles her head and holds her so gently and dwarfs her despite being an adult now. No matter how old Vi gets, she’s never gonna fully outgrow Vander. She will never stop needing her dad.

But something’s still missing…

“What are you waiting for? He’s your dad too…”

I’m certain Vander’s thinking the same thing here cause even before Vi addressed Jinx you could see those poor sad eyes looking her way. They both still acknowledge Jinx as their family no matter what, this hug wouldn’t be complete without her.

And you can see this just shatters any walls Jinx had left. All she can do is break down crying, that’s the only way she can let out all the pain and joy and utter relief she feels in this moment. Cause that line is just so meaningful, with those four words, Vi says so much. Naturally it’s a callback to Jinx saying it earlier but Vi saying it back…that’s her saying “You’re still my sister.” That’s her saying “I forgive you.” That’s her saying “You’re safe, it’s okay to move on from the accident.”

And Jinx knows that and you can see it in her eyes, she’s silently asking “Really? You really mean it?”. And that soft look in Vi’s eyes only solidifies that yes, she absolutely means it with every fiber of her being.

So of course Jinx does the only thing she has left to do. She and rushes to join the group hug. She leaves her own light and gets drawn in to her dad’s, leaving behind her own source of comfort and accepting another. She’s finally allowing herself to open up and trust other people again, to seek other sources of comfort. And look at the way Vi instantly holds her, her arm is around Jinx almost as soon as she’s within reach.

And honestly the theme of not being able to outgrow Vander applies just as much to Jinx cause she’s arguably smaller than Vi in some ways and he dwarfs her just as much. And the way Jinx holds onto Vander’s finger, something about that totally reminds me of like…that moment dads have when their newborn baby holds their hand for the first time.

The look on Vander’s face here too is just chilling in the best way, the way his eyes harden just a little. He may not be all the way there thanks to Singed, but he’s there enough to to that his little girls are there with him. They’re okay, they’re alive, they both made it out. And NOTHING is gonna hurt them again, not so long as he draws breath.

And I couldn’t fit it here cause I hit the screenshot limit but the fact that Isha joins too and none of them even prompt her to. Because this is her family now too. The family’s not only complete but enhanced now. They’ve restored what was left of the family and even added to it with new family members.

And the song is just perfect, the constant “What have they done to us” playing in the background. The world has done so much, too much to everyone in this family. They’ve all been starved, beaten, and destroyed emotionally and physically. They’ve grown distorted, they’re no longer the people they once were. I like to think that the chorus is kinda reflecting what all four of them are thinking, they’re all just thinking “what has the world done to us?”

But despite it all, they’re still alive. They’re still here, and NOTHING is gonna tear them apart again, not even Noxians.

(Let me hope XD)

#arcane #arcane season 2 #arcane spoilers #lol #league of legends #nerd talks #analysis #vander #warwick #jinx #isha #vi

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thewulf · 1 year ago

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Here For You || JJ Maybank

Summary: Request - could you write a jj maybank and sister where she has a panic attack and he helps?

A/N - Ahhh I just cannot get enough of a good old hurt/comfort. This was a little different of a write since its an X sister! insert but I had a really good time writing it. A little shorter than usual but I really like it! Thanks for the request @obxlover14

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k+

TW: Talks of Breakdowns, anxiety, overwhelming feelings etc.

It always happened when you least expected. The panic came over in a massive wave that engulfed your entirety seemingly out of nowhere. You’d been stressing out a little lately. Getting older meant decisions had to be made. Were you going to try and go to college? Or were you simply going to stay on the island and find weird jobs after graduating high school being the disappointment your dad expected from you? These thoughts consumed you whole making it hard to think of anything else. You started ruminating on it and before you knew it hot tears were streaming down your face.

It usually didn’t get this bad. You were normally able to stop you brain from going this far down the spiral it so often wanted to. You were a complete and utter mess who hid it well from the others. Ever since your mother left nearly ten years ago your father become more and more abusive as the years ticked on. Attributing that to your anxiety all you wanted to do was get the hell out. You knew JJ wanted to as well and he could. He turned eighteen a few months ago. But he waited around for you. Far too terrified at the thought of leaving you alone with your shared father. If you could even call him that anymore.

You found a wall in the hallway leading up to the kitchen and leaned back on it. Sliding down you brought your knees in close to your chest trying to huddle in on yourself. Bringing your hands up your tried to rub the anxiety away from your face to no avail. You tried your normal methods of calming down but was coming up devastatingly short. Tears kept slipping out of your eyes as your tried to slow your every increasing heart rate. Thank God your father was at work, you couldn’t imagine the ass beating that would come from a breakdown. Only further deteriorating your already rapidly declining mental state.

Not having a clue how long you were sitting there you tried your best counting back from a hundred. Trying to ground yourself in the moment. But you just couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. You kept losing track and having to restart after your mind started playing those normal tricks on you.

You felt a gentle hand on your shoulder breaking you from the trance you were seemingly locked in on. Head snapping around you met the familiar blue eyes of your older brother. Normally happy go lucky but a growing concern clouded his vision as he looked you over.

He grabbed at the hand that was grabbing at your own face, prying it away from its grasp, “Hey kid, there you are.” His smile was anything but real but he was trying his best to get you comfortable. It wasn’t all the often he came home to you cowering in on yourself on the floor unresponsive to his calls.

“I’m sorry.” You looked at him with wide eyes as you came back to the present. How long were you sitting there? A few seconds? Minutes? Hours? You hadn’t a damn clue.

He ignored you continuing, “Are you okay? I called out for you a few times.” He looked you over only giving a soft sigh once he concluded you were physically fine. Mentally he hadn’t any idea what you were going through.

You nodded before looking away. Suddenly embarrassed by your episode, “I’m okay JJ.” You voice rasped out sounding like it hadn’t been used in weeks. Were you yelling? Why did it sound so hoarse?

“That’s not very believable kid.” He sat down next to you letting you know he wasn’t planning on going anywhere until you stated speaking. As gently as JJ could manage he brushed your hair out of your face.

“Well, you better believe it.” You offered a rather pathetic smile. Again, not terrible believable and JJ clocked it.

“Come on, spill.” He spoke waiting on your response.

You looked him over. He didn’t look very thrilled with you. It was more out of concern than anything else, but it still made you terribly embarrassed. It seemed so pathetic, especially when you tried to explain it out loud.

“I’m just overwhelmed J.” You sighed in defeat not really wanting to go into much more detail.

He cocked his head to the side ever so slightly as if trying to read your cryptic mind. Sure he was your sibling but he wasn’t a miracle worker. He didn’t know the ins and outs of what kept your mind racing, “What about?”

“The future.” You answered honestly not trying to hide it from it. He’d get the answer he wanted from you anyway.

He gave you the first genuine smile of the afternoon, “You’re only a Junior. You’ve got some time to figure it out.”

You shook your head, “Applications are due soon. I don’t even know if I want to go to college. What will I do there? I can’t waste any time there. Don’t have the money too…” You began to babble.

He placed a grounding hand on your shoulder, “Relax, Y/N.”

“I can’t JJ!” You snapped. Eyes wide. You rarely yelled at your older brother. You knew better.

He ignored your outburst once again and placed a second hand on your other shoulder, “I need you to breathe after me. Alright?”

You nodded watching him closely. Mimicking his actions slowly. Breathing in for a second longer than you wanted and out. Copying him for a few minutes did actually help as your breathing slowed which also dropped your heartrate.

A few more tears slipped down your face as you calmed down. Thank goodness for your older brother being able to break you from the entrapment of your mind. After one last shaky breath your eyes met his once again. He looked nervous. It was an expression your rarely, if ever, saw on your older brother and you were sure it was because of you. What a time to have a mental fucking breakdown.

“I’m sorry J.” You breathed out in more of a whisper once again embarrassed by your very own whisper.

He shook his head, “Don’t say sorry. That’s what I’m here for kid.” Knowing that you were somewhat okay he reached over and wrapped you into his arm giving you one big squeeze. JJ adored you, his younger sister by a few years. See, you were the best of the Maybank’s. As kind as they came and smarter than ever. JJ knew he had to get you off this island one way or another. After seeing you so panic stricken over everything JJ knew it wasn’t a matter of it but when. You were too good for this island. Bound for so much more even if you didn’t know it yet. JJ did.

You nodded into his shoulder not daring to say another word knowing it’d come out a shaky mess. It was nice letting yourself feel the comfort from somebody you loved and adored. JJ might not have known it but you always looked up to him. He was never afraid to speak his mind, make new friends, go on crazy adventures. He was the opposite of you and you adored that about him. He was so unashamed to be himself. It did get him into trouble more than you liked to admit.

He spoke up breaking you out of your quiet stupor once more, “You don’t have to be scared. That’s what I’m here. That’s what the pogues are here for. We’re here to talk, okay?”

You nodded knowing you would never actually take him seriously. It wasn’t your place to bother them with sixteen-year-old problems. They had their own shit to deal with. Own people to please.

“Hey, I’m serious.”

You hummed in acknowledgement. He wouldn’t take that as an answer though.

“Look at me kid.” He said more seriously than he had in this entire interaction with him.

You did as he said and waited.

“You’ve got to speak to me. Talk to me. Or somebody. You can’t let these emotions bottle up anymore. It’s okay if you’ve got to talk about it. But you can’t keep doing this to yourself.” He gave your hand a gentle squeeze letting you know he was there for you, always.

When you didn’t speak he finished, “I’m here for you kid.”

“I love you J.”

His smile reached his eyes, “I love you too kiddo. Forever and always. But you know that.”

Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!) : @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891

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semisolidmind · 1 year ago

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i know it's all about the lion's den AU rn and as usual I am FEASTING on the content (excuse the crumbs) but there's an idea that won't leave me alone-

what if Peaches was not human, but an immortal from the beginning? How much would change? I know the whole appeal of these AUs - I mean, that's why I love them and I absolutely love this lil corner of the fandom. but I've been kinda diving into the whole immortality biz in Chinese myths for my oc, so now I'm curious.

Peaches could be someone cultivating and practicing Xian (i hope I'm using that right) for years, or consumed pills/elixir of immortality somehow, or a demon who is oddly very kind and empathetic - would the bois still love her just as much? How different is the dynamic now even if Peaches retains her core personality traits?

love your work! and hydrate before ya diedrate

ive been thinking about this, and i kinda like the idea of immortal reader being an attendant of the heavenly peach orchard.

not super high up the ladder, but not at the bottom either. her powers are limited to helping plants grow just a little bit, creating temporary barriers, and being able to float the way all celestials can. the higher-ups figure that since no one is bold or stupid enough to steal from heaven, they don’t need any extra security in the immortal peach groves.

you can take a guess as to how reader meets the monkeys.

they show up to the orchards, ready to fight their way to the peaches, but instead of some overpowered celestial soldiers guarding the orchard, it's....one immortal maiden. just the one. but she doesn't seem all that powerful, soooooo...

...maybe she'd agree to let them take a few without too much trouble?

the monkey bros go the "oh don't mind us we're just a couple of cute lil monkeys, here to cause adorable and harmless mischief" route in their approach to getting reader to let her gaurd down.

they approach her while she takes a break from pruning some dead branches. she's understandably surprised and suspicious about these two seemingly normal monkeys who've snuck in, but... they are pretty cute. and tame; they let her pet them and give them scritches. perhaps they're one of the heavenly official's pets. reader supposes that they can stay for a while.

wukong and macaque play their parts, get reader's guard down, and steal a couple dozen peaches each. reader notices, but there's not much she can do beyond shooing the monkeys out with a broom (and her soft heart barely allows her to do that). she knows that if she reports it, those cute lil monkeys will be hunted down and killed.

she supposes she could put in a request for higher walls around the grove, or more barriers (she still wonders how the boys managed to get through the first ones), but with how slowly things get done in the bureaucracy...it'd be a very, very long time until it was even brought up in court.

besides, even then....they're monkeys. animals. she won't place blame on them for being what they are. those little cuties probably had no idea that the immortal peaches were any different from the ones on earth.

she could never stay mad at their adorable lil faces anyways.

---

reader, despite what you might think, has a pretty laid back job. once all her chores for the day have been completed (those magic trees don't really need much beyond the essentials to do their thing), she has a good amount of free time to sit and, you guessed it—read.

macaque (because of course, he has to be the first one to fall in every au) decides, on a bored whim, to go visit that nice attendant they stole from not too long ago. perhaps he'll collect some intel while he's up there.

he finds her after a bit of searching. reader sits in a secluded corner of the grove, leisurely turning pages and enjoying the shade. macaque, still disguised, sidles up to her. reader notices, seeming surprised to see him before her face morphs into... a rather adorable pout. perhaps she thinks she's being intimidating.

'damn, no wonder the bureaucracy didn't think they needed any more security,' macaque thinks sarcastically. such a fearsome maiden they've chosen to guard the immortal peaches.

while reader takes a minute to admonish him about stealing, it isn't long before she sighs and gives up on her lecture in favor of scratching him gently behind his ears. he churrs low in his chest. her whole demeanor is as soft and sweet as the peaches she guards (her hands as well, he notes, pressing into them).

macaque laughs internally. a fearsome maiden, indeed.

macaque manages to wiggle his way into reader's lap, pulling her attention from her book. she knows she should be trying to scare him off, but...just—just look at him! he's so cute, and she's too pulled in by how cute he is to notice the oddly powerful aura he seems to exude (far too powerful to be a normal monkey). he enjoys her touch for a while longer before he hears the far-off call of his annoying brother, wondering where he is. he bumps his head into reader's hand by way of goodbye before running off to shadow away more secretively.

reader watches him go, sighing. she really should shoo him away next time.

---

macaque keeps coming back. and reader continues to be unable to kick him out.

with very few visitors and no one else to talk to, reader begins to tell him everything that she overhears during the day; the officials don't think anyone is listening when they air out their gossip as they walk by the orchard. she doesn’t know it, but she’s saving macaque the energy of using his powers to gather this intel on his own.

the six-eared demon makes a habit of showing up to the grove to laze around with his favorite maiden and listen to her read, using “spying” as the excuse he gives his brother for why he's been running off so often. reader seems to have accepted that he won't be leaving her alone any time soon, and he takes full advantage. macaque comes to think of reader and the secluded corner of the grove as his own little peice of heaven.

of course, sooner or later, wukong joins in. he's a bit angry that macaque didn't just say he was visiting the peach orchard and it's attendant; he wouldn't have minded, he would've come with! macaque doesn't bother trying to explain that he didn't want to share.

but share he does, seeing as wukong greedily takes all the attention from reader he can get. the monkey king finds himself enamored with the maiden who's hands and heart are as soft as the fruits she tends to. he won't admit it (it may hurt his carefully crafted "ruthless demon king" image if he did), but wukong is a cuddle bug when it comes to reader. everything about her is just so soft, and she's so kind, and she always smells like peaches—he could spend hours laying on her chest as she reads.

he just feels so...peaceful, with her.

the boys are entangled in reader's life, visiting whenever they can and butting into whatever she happens to be doing. they see her day to day happiness (brief conversations with the lower maids she's friends with), and her struggles (the two monkeys bore witness to the officials taking their anger out on reader over something trivial, their rage towards heaven growing stronger). the two grow more and more attached to her as time goes on.

and so they begin to work a small abduction into the grander scheme of their plan.

---

sooner or later, the monkey warlords properly raid heaven. they and their demon army storm the jade palace, murdering servants, footsoldiers, and as many officials as they can. the monkey king and the six-eared macaque lead a massacre so bloody it stains the palace walls red. wukong especially holds back none of his rage, getting caught up in his hatred for heaven and zealously continuing to shed as much celestial blood as he can.

during a lull in the chaos, macaque, covered in vicera, makes his way to the immortal peach grove. with the battle coming to a close and the demon forces being driven back, now is as good a time as ever to snatch up a special “peach” for himself and his brother.

he finds said peach preoccupied with a gallant attempt at protecting herself and a few lower maids from a demon soldier, using a series of barriers. the soldier breaks the barriers almost as fast as reader can make them, rapidly pushing her and her companions into a corner. reader puts up a brave fight, but she's a celestial attendant, not a celestial warrior.

macaque calls out to the soldier, halting their attack and telling them to regroup with the others and prepare to move out. the soldier complies, crassly assuring the women that they’re about to be nothing more than bloody pulp on the garden wall. no one has ever gone against the shadow general of the demon army and lived.

macaque waits until the soldier is out of sight before leisurely approaching the still quivering group of maids and their determined, but exhausted looking guard. reader tenses as he steps closer. she feels a horrible sense of dread crawl down her spine when she gets a good look at him.

the dark fur, the shape of the mask marking on his face...reader feels tears start to bead at the corners of her eyes.

this entire time, she'd been petting and coddling the six-eared macaque. the second in command of the dreaded demon army has been sitting right in front of her and she had no idea. reader can barely keep her breathing steady.

and if this is her dark-furred companion, then the lighter-furred one must be…oh stars.

…she let the monkey king in.

she practically threw open the doors for him. she didn’t report them when she should have, she knew there was something strange about them but she was so sure they were just normal animals—oh stars above, if the jade emperor ever discovered this, she’d be executed.

but…but reader steels herself. she can deal with that later. her friends are counting on her.

now, she’s certainly not expecting the blood-covered demon general across from her to be open to bargaining (he could just kill all of them now, but reader gets the feeling he wouldn't be merciful enough to end it quickly). and he knows exactly what leverage he has over her, she can see it in the smug look on his face.

but she tries anyways.

“let them go, please,” she begs breathlessly, arms shaking from the strain of maintaining her magic. the least she can do is buy her friends a moment more. “do whatever you want with me, but they are blameless.”

macaque chuckles, the sound reverberating lowly between the trees. whatever he wants, huh? oh, sweet peach. she should know better than to give him so much leeway.

“that is tempting. if that’s the case, then perhaps you’ll go with me willingly,” he muses, tail swaying slowly. his fangs glint dangerously when he smirks.

“don’t fight, and no harm will come to them. that, and your secret will be safe with me. honest."

reader doesn’t believe him. she can’t, but she and her friends are so low priority that calling for help would be useless. if the demon army has been as effective as the screaming would lead her to believe, the celestial host has much bigger problems than rescuing a gardener and some lowly maidservants. and with the chance that she’ll be seen through and blamed for every gory death that's happened beyond the walls of the peach groves...

she doesn’t have a choice.

reader slowly, cautiously lowers her barriers, despite the worried cries of the maids behind her. they cower closer together as reader takes a slow step closer to macaque.

with a flick of his wrist, reader is struck by a sleeping spell so potent she falls into macaque's waiting arms like a lead weight. the demon gathers his beloved into his hold with a gentleness that doesn't fit his gory visage.

he sinks into a shadow, leaving the maids to clutch each other and cry at the loss of reader and the near loss of their own lives.

---

reader wakes up days later in the royal bedchambers of the stone palace. she startles at seeing the monkey king and the six-eared macaque laying on either side of her, stripped to just a loose pair of pants each. she herself has been changed to a comfortable silk robe, her own clothing nowhere to be seen.

reader feels a cold sludge in her gut. she scrambles out of the pillow pit, kicking a few into the face of one of her captors as she goes. she checks herself over, looking for bite marks, claw marks, anything to indicate the two demons sharing a bed with her had violated her in any way. she looks, and breathes a heavy sigh.

she finds nothing.

"we figured we'd wait until you were awake to start marking territory," the tired, yet still somehow smug voice of the monkey king chimes from behind her. reader turns to see the demon leveling an amorous look her way. his gold and crimson eyes burn like fire in the low light.

reader ignores him in favor of falling to her knees and burying her face in her hands. now that she has a moment to think, her failure has decided to take centerstage; she was the one who let the monkey king into the jade palace, she let him steal the immortal peaches, she's the one who carelessly shared all the gossip that told them when the best time to attack would be, she's to blame for all the lives lost—

"hey. y'know we would've raided heaven even if we hadn't met you, right? it's not your fault," macaque says, propping his head in his hand to look at her. he doesn't have the decency to hide how he's sizing her up, poison purple eyes glowing whilst tracing her curves. reader shrinks into herself a bit more.

"yep. don't feel too bad, peaches. i was never gonna spare any of those bureaucrats in the first place," wukong adds. "and besides, none of those guys cared about you anyway, so why feel bad?"

reader sobs, pressing her hands to her eyes. she knows. she knows how callous the officials could be, but that doesn't mean they deserved to die. it doesn't mean the servants and foot soldiers who were only following orders deserved their fates.

she hears movement, then feels a set of strong, furred arms wrap around her. wukong rests his head on her shoulder. he nuzzles his nose against her neck. she feels his warm breath and the glance of deadly sharp fangs when he speaks.

"they didn't deserve the mercy you seem to think they did."

---

wukong places a seal on reader's powers. what little defense she had against them is gone with the placement of a brand-like marking in between her shoulder blades (and a few more along her shoulders made with his teeth).

reader can't do anything. wukong won't let her leave, and even if she could, the heavenly court will have her executed if she goes back. so, she remains on the monkey king's mountain.

she didn't think she'd share a fate with the precious fruit she'd failed to protect.

#bad end wukong #twice as bad au #immortal peach au #i guess??? cause shes an immortal???#this got waaay longer than expected #got tired and couldnt figure out how to end it #dialogue is hard

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subskz · 1 year ago

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RINNIE I’ve got an idea…

Punishing Lino or Hannie with numbing cream.

Like jerking them off with numbing cream, so it’ll feel so good at first since the cream will work as lube, and lubed handjobs are <33 But the cream slowly kicks in and the can’t feel a thing in their precious dicks anymore :(( Then you take your gloves off (bc you obviously don’t want the cream to numb your hands) and you put on a condom for them so the cream doesn’t transfer to you as you ride them. It would be so tortuous for them to see you bouncing on their cock but not being able to feel a single thing! Tease them and tell them how good it feels, and how much you’re clenching down on them, and watch them get frustrated that they can’t feel you. The only thing that’s keeping them hard despite not feeling a thing is the visual, because it’s just so, so hot.

Hannie would absolutely be the first to break down and cry out of the two. He’s pitifully bucking up into you as if that’s gonna help him feel something. He’s gonna be crying his little heart out, telling you that “you’re so mean!” for making him endure this torture. He’ll beg and beg for you to wash the numbing cream off so that he can feel you wrapped around him. But you don’t relent, because this is his punishment after all. He’ll even try to rub his nipples for stimulation or reach behind you to finger himself, but you’re always one step ahead since you already added numbing cream to those areas as well (since you knew he’ll start touching those parts), which makes him cry even harder. But it turns him on so, so much as well, since now he’s really just a dildo for you <33

Lino would be so, so stubborn. He’ll act as if this doesn’t bother him at all. But in just a few more minutes, he’ll start whining, which embarrasses the hell out of him, but at this point, he doesn’t care. Exaggerate your moans a bit so he really gets needy. Like Hannie, he’ll also try bucking up into you, but in the end, it’s futile. Make him watch you use his cock to bring yourself to several orgasms, then after that, you start cleaning up. Was it over already? But he didn’t even get to cum yet! He’ll start protesting and all that for you to come back and help him out, telling you that it was rather rude for you to leave him like this. But you just simply ignore him and go wash yourself up. You’ll probably come out of the bathroom to find the kitty trying to finger himself for some sort of relief, but he just can’t! It doesn’t nearly feel as good as when you do it for him :(

oh this is pure insanity 😵‍💫 what a perfect punishment both of their reactions would be priceless for different reasons. hannie being the easiest to break and lino being one of the hardest to break…but in the end they’re still both reduced to a helpless, whining mess hehe. jerking them off using the cream is so clever too, you let him feel just enough pleasure to bring him close to the edge as you spread the cream w lazy, slippery strokes, then suddenly the numbness begins to kick in and any build into his climax fizzles out. the fun’s over for him but just starting for you~

the sight of jisung working so hard to try and get himself to feel something, thrusting like an animal w the most adorable, frustrated, look on his face and watery eyes would be to die for 😽 the most agonizing part abt it is that the numbing cream doesn’t completely leave him senseless, but it’s just effective enough that he can’t get any real pleasure from it…there’s none of your wetness or softness that he aches for, all he can feel is the faint clench of your walls around his numb dick that tells him how good you’re feeling using him like a toy. and if that isn’t enough, the way you exaggerate your moans to taunt him makes him so crazy with need, he’d absolutely start crying ): esp after trying to get himself off w his nipples as a last resort, only for it to break him down further bc he just feels so pathetic and helpless doing everything he csn without gaining any relief. he babbles out apologies through all his sobbing, but at that point it’s too late! all he can do now is take his punishment like a good boy and watch at your mercy as you ride him w tears streaming down his face. and maybeee if he behaves enough, you’ll cup his wet cheeks and give him some kisses, murmuring to him that he should he thankful that he gets to make you feel so good <3

a punishment where lino feels nothing at all would be his absolute nightmare…no pain or pleasure, just being used like a pretty little plaything for your satisfaction~ he’s so stubborn but at the same time so impatient. at first he tries playing it off by mocking you bc how is fucking him a punishment? he watches w the cheekiest grin as you pump his dick, but he can only act smug for so long before it sets in that you’re 100% set on not letting this spoiled brat get off today <3 his whines would be so pretty…starting off kinda quiet and soft like “are you serious? this isn’t fair” w the hopes that’ll be enough to win you over, but his voice gets progressively needier the more you grind your hips down against him, rolling your body in a way that he knows would make his mind melt if only he could feel it. and degrading him on top of that bc unlike jisung, he refuses to apologize…taunting him for only being able to last this long when his dick is numb, saying he’s only useful as your fucktoy <3 he’d definitely get defiant and try thrusting up into you, but it just adds to the humiliation more when he doesn’t get an ounce of stimulation from it. catching him trying to finger himself afterwards would be so hot hehe poor kitty isn’t used to having to do it all himself…depending on how far gone he is you might just get to watch him push his fingers in an out of himself pitifully as he begs so sweetly for you to help him out

#ask #💌 hannie #💌 lino

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lavendertales · 2 years ago

Note

this is me formally asking for a size difference joel x reader drabble because i am short and this might make my brain break if i read it but in the best wayyyyyyyy

ohhhh babe I got you! I hope this is more or less what you had in mind🙈🥰

shameless—Joel Miller x f!reader**

word count: 593

warnings: smut, size difference as requested (no other description of reader other than the fact she's shorter than Joel, Joel has BDE. literally.

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

gif: @joelmjller

One thing about Joel Miller, he’s a determined man.

Once he sets his mind to something, he’ll achieve it no matter what.

Being with you is no different. There’s something inherently thrilling about the way he’s all over you, the way he’s so protective of you and the way he goes absolutely feral knowing that on his darkest days, when he barely feels like himself, he gets to come home to you and how you allow him to consume you in all the ways his heart desires.

Sometimes he’s sweet and tender, going down on your for hours, praising you endlessly as he worships your body’s beauty, and sometimes he’s rough and wild, kneading your flesh between his calloused fingers as he mercilessly pounded into you till your cheeks were all red.

You liked both sides of him, and you couldn’t decide which one was your favorite. Joel himself was your favorite thing overall. That much you could tell.

And you could tell that one of Joel’s favorite things was the way he towered over you, the way you fit in his arms with such ease, the way your body seemed to compliment his in so many ways.

Tonight it’s one of those times when he takes his time, though he may be impatient. He’s just made you come in his mouth and on his fingers already, twice, and he knows you’re more than ready to take him in. But even with all that preparation, the first push in, that first slide of his cock inside you, it’s going to be a tight fit no matter what.

Just the idea alone makes him feral, nearly blinded by desire.

You can barely keep your moans and gasps under control, your eyes lustfully watching as he strokes and guides himself to your entrance. You hold your breath, gulping in anticipation, and then the earth-shattering moment of him giving that first thrust finally arriving and overwhelming you both.

“Oh shit,” you gasp.

The more Joel pushes past your warm, slick walls, the more ecstasy washes over you. Your head falls backwards against the pillow as Joel watches, absolutely mesmerized, the way you take him in. all of him, as he is, thick and girthy and oh, so full with you.

“You’re doing good, darlin’,” he breathes, throat dry and yet oddly enough, mouth filled with saliva. “You’re doing so good, takin’ all of me in.”

“Fuck, Joel…”

He gives a few experimental thrusts, rolling his hips at just the right angle. It’s a wonder he can still breathe, honestly; you always manage to knock the air out of his lungs with every sound you make, every touch, every gaze of yours, each one deadlier and sultrier than the last.

Then he starts to really move; he simply plows into you, holding your legs over his shoulders – even if your feet barely touch them. He watches in a trance the way your tits bounce, the way your swollen pussy swallows his cock whole, and he nearly chokes on thin air and his own saliva.

“Pretty darlin’ –“he mutters. “So fuckin’ pretty – when you take me like this – s’good for me – “

After a while, words flee from your mind and mouth alike, the sole one you’re able to produce is Joel. You chant his name repeatedly when you come all over him and squeeze his cock trap shut inside of you, triggering his orgasm as well.

Yeah, Joel loves towering over you, and he sure as hell loves fitting himself into you with every chance he gets.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #tlou fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut

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ohbloggerimagines · 2 years ago

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Hello! How are you? I hope your day is going swell :)

I love your possessive/protective!Rocket X Reader headcanons! The subconscious actions of him trying to keep her safe are so CUTE

Would I be able to request a oneshot of when the Guardians were out, Rocket noticed someone, or a group, staring at (Y/N), so he walked behind her, blocking their view of her ass.

Maybe he pat her hip/ass, something that was a normal thing between Rocket and (Y/N), so she just instinctively scratches behind his ears while Rocket glares or smirks at the stranger/s.

i feel like i could've done better with this one so i might end up redoing it ;;

also i refuse to belive gamora and peter are no longer together so just believe they are ! ill die on that hill

pairing: rocket raccoon x fem!reader

word count: 558

tags: gotg, rocket raccoon x reader, fem! reader, possesive rocket

“Rocky!” You shouted happily, pointing to one of the many shops within Contraxia, almost swooning over the handmade beanies being sold. “The hell you need one of those for? I can make you one! Besides, you get one every time we come here!” He grumbled, waving the shop off and making you groan and roll your eyes.

You and the Guardians needed a break, deciding to stop off at your favorite icy planets for a few drinks. It was pretty packed that day, Rocket making sure you stayed close to him and the group in general with all the idiots and pickpocketers around.

Passing the Iron Lotus, you watched Peter’s wandering eyes almost get slapped out of their sockets by Gamora, making you and Mantis snicker. You two were good friends, being able to have girl talk without being judged was nice. You stepped a little ahead Rocket, lightly bumping Mantis and striking up conversation about how cold it was, and all the little things you two definitely needed to buy.

“I saw this super cute jacket last time we were here, hopefully I can find it before we go. It would look so good on you!” You conversed with her, “You think? We must find it later!” Mantis beamed, excited to hang out with you.

Rocket’s head was on a swivel, watching every single person that walked by or even those who stood at the shops. He was not taking any chances with idiots this time.

There were so many..men everywhere. His nerves were on edge.

Finally, the crew made it to their favorite hole in the wall bar, the Whistling Outpost. Quant enough that nothing too crazy went on, but it was never a dull vibe inside. There was a line outside the door, a guard checking everyone's name on his tablet to make sure they weren’t letting in any stowaways or general freaks.

Peter and Gamora were in the front, behind them was Drax and Nebula, followed by you and Mantis still chattering away, with a very attached raccoon at your side.

He could feel the eyes not only on him but on you. Rocket’s eyes scanned around slowly to find the idiot who thought it was a good idea to stare at what was his. There was a group of them, dirty, drunk, and daring, staring and pointing while making quiet suggestive comments the keen raccoon could hear. Rocket decided not to make a big deal tonight, he just wanted to relax..

Instead, he slyly turned his body to face you, blocking their view of your ass and anything else they might want to stare at, creating a barrier but not making too much of an issue. He glanced over at the group, noticing a slight change in their stature. Rocket gently tapped your ass, his paw sliding to your belt loop and hooking his finger through it to hang on to you.

You felt his comforting touch and without missing a beat you glanced down at him and scratched lightly behind his ear, smiling at him before going back to talking Mantis’ ear off.

Rocket grinned, turning back to the drunken group, taunting them with his smirk. The look of defeat on their faces was enough for him to enjoy it.

No one got to look at you when he was around.

#rocket raccoon #gotg3 #rocket raccoon x reader #gotg2

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thezombieprostitute · 1 month ago

Note

What I genuinely love about this photo is that he looks so happy! And I like to think it's because of you.

Dr. Dreamboat

Warnings: Implied sexism/misogyny, Smut. Please let me know if I missed any!

A/N: Reader is female. No other physical descriptors used.

A/N2: Huge thanks to @bigtreefest for her continued help and patience!

Hal will be the first to tell people he's not the smartest person in the world. He's equally quick to tell people that the title belongs to you. Yes, he's got a doctorate, but he got to focus his studies on physical therapy. Meanwhile you'd studied everything from chemistry to biomechanics to nuclear physics!

He knows you frequently doubt his claims of you being the smartest person, downplaying some of your studies as "just electives". You've always been so unsure of yourself, a fact not helped by several of your superiors in the lab. Hal still bristles when he thinks about all the times you've been in tears because some asshole "Senior" researcher decided to give you crap for their own mistake.

But here you are, presenting at a medical conference. The kind of conference that requires him to dress up. And you're killing it! He couldn't be more proud of you.

Presentations, talking to crowds, especially the Q&A afterwards all stress you out. You've been so nervous about all of it. He's been helping you with stretches meant to relax your shoulders and, of course, his strong hands working out your stress via massage. He knows all of your pressure points.

Of course, he's happy to offer other parts of him to help you relax but you turned him down if only because the hotel walls are thin and you are not quiet when Hal gets you started. While his methods would certainly help your body relax, your mind would be more stressed wondering who in the audience had heard you and was no longer taking you seriously.

The double standard irked Hal. You'd had to work so much harder for respect, to be taken seriously, than you probably should have. Meanwhile his regular patients, even some of his coworkers, had nicknamed him Dr. Dreamboat but still took his instructions and directions seriously.

Your presentation finishes and Hal makes sure to join in the applause. Your smile widens when you see him beaming at you. He's done such wonders for your confidence. The fact that he's willing to take time away from his practice to support you means so much.

There are a number of questions, at least half of them are ones you expected, that you'd had Hal help you practice answering. A few of them make you internally groan because they show the person didn't actually listen to you. There was a time that would have had you panicking that you hadn't presented well enough, but Hal had actually taught you some presentation tricks to turn those questions into ways to reaffirm your point. It wasn't easy for you, but it was progress!

By the time you're done, you feel completely exhausted. Fortunately you and Hal already planned a little break for you so you can rest, recover, and attend a few of the meet and greets you've been looking forward to. Well, that would have researchers with whom you wanted to talk.

As soon as he's able, Hal has his arm around you and adopts an almost defensive stance. His girl is at risk of being overwhelmed and he's going to make sure she's safe. He gently guides you away from the crowd, to the elevator, and back into your hotel room.

You collapse on the bed, dragging Hal with you. He lays on top of you, acting as a weighted blanket. He gives you gentle kisses while stroking your hair and praising you. His words, his touch, his weight all work together to help you calm and relax. Your breathing steadies and he waits for your signal that you're okay.

Wrapping your arms around his head you bring him in for a deep kiss. He moans into your mouth and you fight the urge to roll your hips. You've got more to do today and you don't think showing up to the meet and greets disheveled would be a good idea.

"Thank you, so much, Hal. I wouldn't be able to get through all of this without you."

He smiles, "I'm sure you would, you're stronger than you think. But I'm happy to be able to help you."

You get a gleam in your eyes and he raises an eyebrow. You've never been the best at interpersonal communication but this is something you know you can do to show your appreciation.

"Get on your back," you tell him.

Hal is quick to follow instructions. His breath hitches when you undo his pants. "You don't have to," he tells you, his voice hoarse with need.

"I want to," you assure him. I want to take care of my man. Want to thank you for taking such good care of me. Especially when I'm not able to verbally express it. He recognizes that look in your eyes and knows you mean it.

You grasp his erection just how he likes and are rewarded with a breathy moan. Your other hand moves into his boxers to fondle his balls and his head presses into the mattress in pleasure.

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @irishhappiness; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly

#hal carter x reader #hal carter x you #hal carter x female!reader #hal carter x f!reader #doctor!hal carter #doctor!hal carter x reader #physical therapist!hal carter #doctor!hal carter x researcher!reader

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writtenbyrinnie · 6 months ago

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kenshin | crimson˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

★彡kenshin x fem!reader

★彡word count: 1,431!

★彡unhealthy relationship, knife injury, eroguro, kenshin being his usual posessive self ٩( ᐛ )و and lots of blood lol

★彡 you 🫵🏻 try to go back to ur village after breaking up with kenshin (for plot #trusttt) but things dont go as planned...>:3

kenshin's normally stoic demeanor breaks completely at your words. his hand grasping your chin squeezes it slightly, enough to cause you to wince.

".. think i may have misheard you, my love. what did you say?" he says, his voice low and snarky.

"i...i-.." you grit your teeth, feeling uneasy from the start.

"i have to return to my village..."

his brows knitted at your words as his grip on you tightened further. despite the pain he was causing you, he was unable to control himself.

"..no, you dont. tell me why you're lying." he hissed, eyes narrowing as he took in your expression.

"im not lying. i need to return, and i won't be back once i do so." you replied, unable to meet his icy glare.

he shook his head at your words. you could feel the anger building in his tone as he spoke, his voice cold and cruel.

"no. i forbid it. you aren't leaving."

"kenshin... please don't make this harder than it has to be... i already told you, we're done..." sighing with discomfort, you felt a familiar anxiety creeping up your back again. your words weren't getting to him at all.

"i don't think you understand. we're never done... you belong to me. and i don't permit you to leave. if you even attempt to leave, i will hunt you down. there's nowhere in this world you can go where i won't find you." he growled, forcing you to meet his gaze.

it was no use trying to reason with a madman. whatever this 'relationship' of yours was, it was nowhere near healthy or stable. this kind of love was destined to destroy you both. were you going to let it? after building up the courage to go against him, were you going to go back to those arms?

hesitantly, you pulled out the small knife carefully hidden in your sleeve; it was the one sasuke gave as a last resort. the same one you hoped you wouldn't have to use.

he looked down at the knife, utterly unbothered by the threat. instead of taking a step back, he stepped forward, pressing himself against the tip and letting it pierce the fabric and his skin slightly.

"..is that meant to scare me?" he says, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a wicked smirk.

"k-kenshin..." you stared with your eyes wide, unable to move as he practically trapped you against the wall with how close he had gotten.

barely noticing the tiny prick of pain it made in his skin, he looked up at your scared expression, his eyes burning angrily.

"what? you're having second thoughts?"

kenshin laughed at your fear.

"you were so bold a minute ago. if you're going to threaten me, do it properly, woman. or are you not able to follow through?"

a few drops of blood stained his kimono.

"just let me go...i dont want this-..."

he brought a hand up and gripped the knife in your hands, his hand bleeding due to the sharp edge of the knife cutting into his palm. he dared to lean even closer to your face, his voice a low, dangerous growl.

"do you have any idea how easy it would be for me to break this pretty little wrist of yours? it seems you've forgotten... im your lord, you belong to me. there's no way ill let you go anywhere."

the sleeves of kenshins kimono stained crimson as he hissed, the slit in his hand and chest deepening as you continued to struggle against his powerful grip.

ignoring the pain, his eyes burned with anger. even you could see the crazed look in them.

"drop the knife."

he commanded. his tone hard like steel.

with a scowl, he grabbed the weapon from your hand, tossing it aside. pulling your hand up to his chest and using it to press against his wound. he brought his face even closer to yours, his eyes burning as he looked at you.

"...the more you struggle, the worse it will be for you. stop it."

the warm, coppery liquid trickled down onto your hands as you flinched with a mix of fear and disgust.

his eyes narrowed as he looked down at your frightened expression. seeing your hands stained with his blood and your trembling form ignited something within him. gripping tight around your waist and pulling your body flush against his, his lips crashed down against yours in a desperate, possessive kiss.

he pressed you harder into the wall, molding his body against yours, his blood staining your clothes. he broke the kiss long enough to speak, his hot breath fanning against your skin. "you... aren't going anywhere..."

kenshin's eyelids had begun to feel a tad bit heavier as time passed, due to his blood loss. staring at your crimson stained clothes in fear, you yelled.

"this is so much blood...kenshin! we need to-.."

you tried reaching over to the bandages, only to get stopped by kenshin himself. he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you back against himself and refusing to let you go. his grip tight around your body as he buried his face into your shoulder.

his voice was low and pained, as he spoke.

"i don't care."

he mumbled into your neck.

"stay. don't leave me."

you looked down, upset and worried sick for him, but also touched by his words. your resolve broke down as you gently placed a hand on his cheek, smearing the blood around as you caressed it.

"i won't leave...just...let me patch you up, please..?" you added, your voice barely above a whisper.

leaning into your touch against his cheek, he closed his eyes at the feeling. nodding slowly as he struggled to steady his breathing.

"...fine, just don't leave my sight."

he let out a low, pained huff as he reluctantly let go of you with one arm, allowing you some room to move.

as you went about your work, bandaging up his hand and putting pressure on his chest, he kept his body pressed tight against yours, his breath hot on your shoulder as he leaned his head down, nuzzling his face against you as he tried to control his need to pull you even closer.

"i can't let you go. please don't ask me to..." he muttered, his voice tight and gravelly.

the slit on his chest was pretty deep, making the subcutaneous fat layer underneath visible to you. crimson gushed out continuously as you helplessly kept applying pressure to slow it down.

kenshin grunted in pain, gripping your shoulders tightly. he took a few deep breaths, trying to stay calm.

despite the pain, the close proximity of your body, combined with the sight of you covered in his blood, was doing things to him...

he leaned his head back against the wall, hissing between clenched teeth. his hands, gripping your shoulders, moved down to your hips, grasping tight enough to leave bruises on your soft skin. the pain and feeling of your hands touching his wound was almost more pleasurable than it was painful.

despite the fact that it was his blood staining your skin and clothes, he couldn't help but find the sight quite pleasant. all he could focus on was your hands on his skin, touching his body, and pressing into his wound. the pain... and the pleasure...were mixing together.

soon enough, his breathing slowly returned to normal as he glanced down at his chest. the bleeding had stopped, thanks to you. he looked up at you, examining your face and taking in the sight of you covered in blood. he pulled you closer against his body, completely ignoring the fact that both of you were covered in his blood.

"..you look beautiful."

that wicked smile of his, accompanied by a compliment, had your heart speeding up again. "youre sick in the head..."

kenshin laughed at your words, his eyes still roaming all over your face and body. pulling you even closer to him, he let his lips graze along your neck, tasting his own blood on your delicate skin.

he brought a hand up and grasped your chin, tilting your head up to look him directly in the eye. "i may be sick... but so are you, my love. you think I didn't notice?"

he pressed his body against yours, holding you captive.

"you love the feeling of my blood on you, don't you? you get excited just thinking of how it proves my body belongs to you."

he leaned in closer, his lips next to your ears.

"admit it."

really enjoyed writing this hehe :33333 i was looking forward to writing a eroguro-y? piece after seeing the love on my most recent drawing (tysm!!🌷) and kenshin seemed like a fitting character!

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #kenshin uesugi #ikesen kenshin #kenshin x reader #ikesen fanfic #ikemen series #ikemen sengoku kenshin #ikemen sengoku fanfic #kenshin #cybrid ikemen #ikemen sengoku x reader #otome #otome fanfic #kenshin uesugi x reader #writtenbyrinnie

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creedslove · 2 years ago

Text

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART ELEVEN

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: You try to figure out your feelings for Jack and realize it's not a smart move to do so while drunk and flirting with him, when he thinks things are improving, he gets a harsh evidence things aren't just as easy as he thought

(this is the eleventh chapter of the HEARTLESS 💔 series)

• PART ONE TO TEN ON MY MASTERLIST

Warnings: fluff, sexual tension, more fluff because Wyatt is the sweetest kid in the world, bitchy mother-in-law, angst, sad!jack, mom!reader

A/N: Hi besties, I know it's been a while since we've seen our cowboy, and well, I hope you enjoy it!!! I know I did because I can't resist this mf, he's just perfect even if he's a broken sad cowboy 😭🤠

4k words

Jack's heart was beating probably too fast in his chest, it hammered against his rib cage but he didn't care. He was feeling like a million bucks, as he was finally getting some crumbles of your love. Nothing more than crumbles, but it was already enough for him, better than suffering with your despise and indifference. In a short span of minutes you two had almost kissed - if it weren't for his former mother-in-law, and you had also referred to Wyatt as your son. Your as in him and yours, and that couldn't make him happier at that moment, it might have seemed something small, but it made the difference in that cowboy's old broken heart, it was like the walls you built were falling down and that he could approach you, even if it wasn't in a romantic way, he still felt satisfied to be around you as friends, at least he could talk to you without having to break the ice all the time, he touch you - small hugs, occasional hand holding - and though he yearned for more, it was the best he would get after everything he'd done, so it was good, he'd rather torture himself by having his family close without actually being able to claim them as his, than suffer completely alone like he'd done for the past years.

He smiled at you, seeing how your cheeks were flushed because of the alcohol and patted his pocket finally finding the car keys and handing them to you

"Go ahead sugar, you're less drunk than I am, you should be driving" he winked at you and chuckled as you widened your eyes the moment you grabbed the Bronco keys. Ever since you first started dating Jack, you dreamed of driving his Bronco, but as the cocky asshole he often was, he never let you - or anyone else really - drive his car. There were some things Jack was just so territorial and wouldn't let anyone to lie their hands on, and well, you were also one of those things once. Jack was possessive of you, he liked showing people you were his and just his, the way he would hold you, kiss you and make everyone else see who you belonged to.

And in your drunken state as you two exited the bar, you kinda wished Jack would do it again. Just a few minutes ago you were about to kiss each other and now he watched you, and you watched him back, staring into his eyes, getting lost in them, and taking a real look at your Jack…. He was so handsome, his beautiful side profile was enough to make you weak at the knees, his sharp jawline always so smooth as he kept his beard shaved and his mustache trimmed. Any other man would look stupid with Jack's looks, but your cowboy… he was something else.

"What?" He asked you, grinning with that devilish smile as you wouldn't stop staring

"I-" you began to talk but you had a better idea - well, not really a better idea, rather a drunk idea - and took the hat off his head, chuckling at how cute his messy hair looked and put it on your head.

Jack was shocked for a split second. Were you flirting with him?

"Did you forget about the cowboy hat rule, sugar?" He raised his eyebrow at you and before you could answer, you tripped and nearly fell, but Jack immediately wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you closer to him. Maybe you weren't less drunk than he was after all, so it was safer if you two just got a cab to your mom's.

Leaving the bar and waiting for a cab on the sidewalk wasn't the greatest idea either, the wind was howling and you were shivering, and both you and Jack knew that if it weren't for Wyatt, the wisest option would be getting a fancy hotel room and spending the night.

If you hadn't drunk as much as you did that night, you would be probably censoring yourself for having those shameless thoughts about him, giggling at the shit he said, pretending you didn't notice you were still clinging to him even after you got your balance back, after all, you were wearing his hat, for crying out loud! He was the same man who didn't accept your pregnancy, that kicked you out of your home and abandoned you to raise your baby alone, and once he came back, he just brought chaos back into your life, for several times he'd hurt you, told you cruel things and even threatened to take your son away from you. It was so wrong to behave like that, and a part of your brain kept repeating that over and over, while the other part seemed to only listen to your heart, taking you back to your sweetest and hottest memories you had shared at that same bar and in those hotel rooms.It would be easier if you could just blame it on the booze, as if having a few too many changed everything about your personality and made you forget about all the pain Jack caused you. But at the same time, it felt like you were in the presence of your Jack, the cowboy you loved, the one that was so sweet, flirty and gentle with you. The man that was a little cocky at first but he also made you feel like the only girl in the world, the one who would ravish you in bed and make your legs shake but would also hold you and cuddle you until you fell asleep. You two had an awkward encounter at first, you went on a date with your new boyfriend and Jack was waiting for his own date, you'd been so jealous of him and if you wondered if he'd been jealous of you, now you were sure of it, and that made you feel pretty good about yourself.

Perhaps it was the way Jack was humiliated by the girl he was supposed to have a date with, the one that revealed herself to be another agent and nothing more, or maybe how he was so honest about the disaster he called his last mission and how things escalated from a fun, drunk conversation, into a confession of dark thoughts Jack didn't have the courage to share with anyone, not even his therapist. All that helped you to see your sweet old cowboy in those man's cold eyes, and when you stared into them, you realized they weren't cold anymore, they were warm and soft and that was when you were sure your Jack was back.

ou were just so tired of restricting yourself all the time, you were also tired of people restricting you as well, always talking about how bad Jack Daniels was and how you shouldn't let him in. It was your mom, your friends, even Frankie had told you Jack was a dick, and though you knew they were all correct, you felt tired of being reminded of that the entire time, at least your own thoughts were private and in them you could allow yourself to surrender completely to your cowboy, because God knew that if he tried to make any move on you, you'd let him.

Instead, you felt when his suit jacket was placed over your shoulders and he smiled down at you "don't want you to freeze, sugar" he winked as now you were wearing his jacket, his hat and you kept your arm wrapped tight around his waist, and you felt lucky that despite everything, Jack was still a gentleman, because any other guy would have interpreted all those signs wrong - actually correct, because you did want it - but he knew you'd had too much alcohol for that, even if he knew that once you sobered up he would've missed his chance of having you again.

He opened the door so you would get in the cab and immediately joined you, giving your mother's address to the driver. You smiled and decided you wouldn't fight your urges, not that night, feeling safe knowing Jack would respect your boundaries and you wouldn't do anything that would hurt your boyfriend - that's what you told yourself at least - and as soon as Jack sat next to you, you wrapped your arm around him and rested against his chest. You were aware of how ridiculous you probably looked, a cowboy hat, a jacket that was way too big for you, and snuggling the man you swore you hated just a day before. Jack was caught by surprise, but smiled softly as he wrapped his arm around your body, stroking your back up and down.

"Sugar, I was thinking about our little boy's birthday, and I would like to throw him a party on our ranch" he cleared his throat "well, my ranch, but it's gonna be yours too one day, you know, when I-"

"Don't say that Jack" you asked him, looking into his eyes, "please… I have something to ask you" you bit your lips

"Anything you want, sugar"

"Don't kill yourself on another mission, Jack, please. You have our son, and our son needs his daddy too"

Jack's heart melted at your lovely words, he'd longed to be accepted into the family just like that and now it was finally happening.

"I won't, sugar… I got our family to take care of, even if you don't want me, you're still my responsibility and I'll make sure you're safe" his hand went for your face caressing your soft skin so gently, appreciating how it felt under his rough fingertips, you closed your eyes, leaning towards his touch and gently placing your lips on his chin, as you spread a trail of soft kisses all over his jawline before getting to his lips. Jack's breath got caught in his chest, his body overflowing with love as his hands squeezed you tighter against him, getting ready to deepen the kiss when the driver suddenly pulled up the car.

"We're here" the man announced which quickly snapped the two of you out of the haze you were both deep into.

You cleared your throat and blushed and Jack licked his lips, getting his wallet and paying for the ride.

He helped out of the car and kept his hand on the small of your back, escorting you, like the southern gentleman he was. You two entered the building and took the elevator and suddenly you could see Jack tensing up. It was no secret your mom hated him, from the very beginning, even before things went to shit between the two of you. There was something she just couldn't stand about him, maybe the fact he was older, or that he'd been married before, or his manners - despite the fact Jack was a polite man, she still didn't think it was enough. She couldn't stand him and he reciprocated the feeling. During his first marriage, he could never understand all those mother-in-law jokes and why people often said they were as bad as they often did. His first wife's mom was a delight, a sweet woman who treated Jack like a son.

No wonder he kept in touch with her through all the years after his sweetheart passed away, until her lovely mother joined her beloved daughter in heaven; but it was your mom that made Jack learn why so many people talked about mother-in-laws in such a derogatory way. She hated Jack, she did from the start, and he had no other option than to accept and try his hardest to ignore her constant offenses and provocations. So now, he didn't even want to think of what your mom thought of him after Wyatt was born.

As if you read Jack's thoughts, you touched his cheek, making him look at you

"It's alright cowboy, if she starts acting out, we'll just leave, don't worry" you assured him and took a deep breath and got yourself back together as the doors opened and you walked to your mom's apartment.

She'd left the door unlocked - something Whiskey strongly disapproved of for safety matters, of course, after all he was an agent and knew people should be way more careful than they were - and the two of you walked inside. Your mom had Wyatt on her lap, he sniffed as she tried wiping his tears, but his teary eyes were enough evidence she wasn't able to succeed.

"What happened baby?" You rushed to him, a sad expression immediately took your face as your heart tightened in your chest to see your little boy so upset. Wyatt jumped off his grandma's lap, widening eyes and a growing smile on his handsome little face

"Mama! Dada!" He squealed happily and ran towards you and Jack, who knelt just beside you and also opened his arms to welcome him. Wyatt ran to the two of you, feeling the warmth of the safety in being with both his parents, snuggling you both as best as his little arms could reach before looking at you with amusement and adoration at the sight of you with the hat on "cowboy hat mama! Like dada and mine!" He said happily and pointed at the stetson you'd stolen from Jack and grabbed it, placing it on your son's head seeing the happiness in his little eyes.

Jack chuckled and picked him up "well it ain't my favorite little cowboy?" He felt the way Wyatt's arms wrapped around his neck and his heart broke a little to think he could have that every day after coming back from work "were you nice to grandma?" Wyatt saw as his dada raised his eyebrow and immediately nodded, he had behaved well even if grandma's house wasn't fun. Whiskey smiled and tickled his tummy, earning the most lovely giggles from his little boy.

Your mom shot you the dirtiest look the moment she caught Jack walking into the apartment, but you couldn't care less about it, so you turned your back to her and gave your son attention.

"What happened to you, love? Grandma said you were upset?" You tilted your head curious to know what could've possibly bothered your son.

Wyatt looked down and then at his grandma again, unsure if he should say anything at all or not. Jack gently wiped a single tear that ran down his son's beautiful face "it's okay Wyatt, sometimes cowboys get sad too, it ain't a shame to cry, but we can't make our mamas worried, cowboy mamas don't like to be worried about their little cowboys…" he tried reasoning his son, who let out a small giggle at his dad's fun words.

"Bad dweam mama. Mama was gone and dada was gone" he explained "told gwandma but gwandma said I have no dada because dada no wove Wyatt"

Jack closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying his best to keep his anger in check, as he shot daggers at his former mother-in-law. He couldn't believe that old bitch had the nerve to say that. Yes, Jack had been a shitty father for the first years of his son's life, but he was back in the picture and there wasn't anyone that old broken cowboy loved more than his son, and his son's mother.

He gently held his son's chin, finding fascinating the contrast between his big, calloused hands on his son's perfect, small face. Jack's thumb stroked his cheek

"Your dada loves you very much Wyatt. More than anything in the world, and I know I wasn't around for you and mama and that made mama sad, but I'll always be with you two" he pecked his son's forehead and threw his small blanket over his back. Jack's arm snaked around your waist pulling you closer "let's get the two of you home" he informed, ignoring your mom who was speechless to see you so cozy next to him. Wyatt snuggled his dad's neck and closed his eyes, his heart was warm with love and reassurance.

•••

As the three of you walked into your apartment, Wyatt was deeply asleep in his father's arms. You smiled to see how Wyatt still his jammies under the blanket and how quick he was able to calm down thanks to Jack. He followed your instructions to tuck Wyatt in and as soon as he came back, with his stetson in hands, you handed him a glass of water "I'm really sorry about my mom… I didn't know she would say something like that. She doesn't like you obviously, but we just always avoided talking about a father figure to Wyatt so we wouldn't break his little heart" Jack nodded in silence "I told her you were back in the picture and that you and I were working to be on good terms, you know, co-parent and be friends… She said it was a bad idea but didn't say anything else, I just didn't think she would be mean to the point of telling her own grandson this shit" you sniffed and Jack pulled you into a tight hug. His hands ran up and down your back, resting his chin on your head

"It's alright sugar, none of this is your fault. You've been perfect from day one. You've been perfect to me and you were the best girlfriend in the world and you would've been the best wife too, if I hadn't screwed things up… I was so scared, I know it doesn't justify and it never will, but I was scared of trying to build a family and losing it like the first time. I was so deep in my own fears that I hadn't realized I was about to make the worst mistake of my life. I'm really sorry I did this to you, because you had nothing but love to offer me, while I offered you the second place because I was too blind by my grief, but now I see, now that I'm going to therapy, that I'm trying to fix myself, I see that I was scared of letting go of her, of her memory, I was scared I was going to betray her. Until I finally saw that was madness, sugar, because she is gone, she's a beautiful memory and I'll always carry her and our son in a part of my heart, but they belong in the past. I see now you're the love of my life, you've always been, I was just too blind to see it, and I lost you, but I promise I won't grieve you, I'll be here, strong and alive for you and Wyatt, if there's ever a chance of a future with you, even if all I get is visiting on weekends I'll still take it. Nothing will ever change the monstrous thing I did to you, but I want you to know I regret it for the rest of my life"

Your breath was shaking as you look up at him, you could feel the emotion in his voice, the truth in them and the tears in his eyes.

"Stay tonight Jack, please… not to have sex, but I want you here" it was all you could offer him and it was already a big deal, the two of you knew it and he only nodded happily, his hand caressing your skin.

"I'll stay for as long as you want me sugar…"

•••

In the early morning, you woke up to find yourself alone in bed. Jack took his southern manners to the letter and after you fell asleep in his arms, he changed to the couch, so he wouldn't make you uncomfortable. You sighed as your head pounded after drinking so hard the night before, sighing as you remembered everything that went on. The things you shouldn't have done, for example flirt with your ex the whole time, kiss him and wearing his hat and especially ask him to stay the night, because now you'd have to deal with the fact the man was humming happily in your kitchen making you breakfast as a loving husband would.

You got out of bed and groaned in pain once more, cursing under your breath as you spotted a glass of water and an aspirin. Fuck, Jack was making it very hard for you to hate him.

The man, on the other hand, was pouring his heart into the meal he was preparing. There were two things little Jack Daniela learned from his mama: breakfast was the most important meal of the day and that the best ingredient one could add is love.

The moment he saw you walking inside the kitchen, his face lit up, glad to know Wyatt was still deeply asleep, so he would have some time alone with you. He placed the frying pan down, flipping the last pancake and walked to you.

"Morning, sugar" he said in a happy voice as he got closer and leaned in to kiss your lips, but you immediately turned your face away, avoiding his kiss as you looked down.

"Listen Jack, we need to talk… I'm sorry about last night, I know I led you the wrong way, I flirted and kissed but it was wrong and it shouldn't have happened" you said without much conviction in your voice, as if you were trying to convince yourself more than him, so you cleared your throat and continued "we can't be together, I know you're trying, Jack, you're becoming a better man, but I have a boyfriend now and you will always be the man who abandoned me and our son" you sighed sadly "I was just giving into my desires…"

Jack immediately gripped your hips, pulling you closer, a desperate look on his face, he was hurt and you could see it in his eyes

"Desire, that's the right word, sugar. You desire me, you want me, why do you still deny it? We love each other" he said, stroking your cheek, swallowing hard and giving you the saddest eyes you'd ever seen. "We can be a happy family… you, me, our son and if you want to we can even try for a little girl, I promise I'll be around, I want to be a husband to you and a father to our son…"

"You're out of your mind, Jack, I would never be with you again, I would never be crazy to let you get me pregnant again! You made me go away! You told me to get rid of my son! I've fallen for you once, but I won't anymore. Yes, I had desire for you, because you are the kind of guy that's good for a drunk fuck and nothing else, Jack. I had to learn the hard way guys like you are meant to be fucked and guys like Frankie are meant to be married"

Jack immediately let go of your body, looking down in shame and sniffed, nodding and turning his back to you. Jack's pride was hurt, and his heart was shattered. He knew you would take your distance once you sobered up, but he didn't think you would regress so much. You were back at fighting and accusing each other, and he was tired of that.

"Mama! Dada!" Wyatt squealed happily as he watched his mommy and daddy in the kitchen, his small tummy growling with hunger at the delicious smell.

"Dada, you made pancakes for me? Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He squealed adorably and jumped into Jack's arms, who held his son tight against his chest, snuggling him, and pecked his son's cheek gently, you knew Jack was a fearless man when he was on his missions, but now, he avoided staring at you, so you wouldn't see the tears that threatened to spill out of his beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

You didn't even know why you'd said that, but you needed to make sure Jack would keep his hands to himself, you didn't want to be a fool for the second time and he had no right to try and seduce you with a baby talk. Jack wasn't meant to be a father and you'd been nice enough to let him be around Wyatt. On the other hand, you had never thought of marrying Frankie, that made no sense, all you knew was that you wanted to hurt Jack and it seemed like you achieved your goal.

_____

A/N: How dare reader say those things to Jack??? Why can't they be together already 😭😭😭😭

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hier--soir · 2 years ago

Note

okay hear me out…

joel and reader find their way back to Joel’s old house in Texas somehow. the angst. the drama. the COMFORT FROM READER TO JOEL MY HEART.

you’re breaking my heart here, kelp. this one hurt. i’m sorry it took me nothing short of a century to write, but i hope you enjoy this in some kind of way.

warnings/tags: set after tlou pt one timeline, established relationship, angst, grief, mentions of the death of a child, panic attack, hurt/comfort, the real birthday card sarah wrote joel from tlou game brb bawling. wc: 2.6k

Joel’s home in Texas sat at the end of a cul-de-sac.

The houses on the street were run down after decades of rain and sun making the wood deteriorate. The bodies of the buildings sagged as if they’d exhaled a breath one day, and never inhaled another. Your eyes wandered over them as you rode past, trying to imagine what the street had looked like all those years ago when Joel had lived there. Did your best to picture him cruising down the road in his truck, young and carefree, listening to the radio as he drove home from work. The idea made a small smile drift across your face, but it faded as you glanced back to him. He rode a few paces ahead of you, and his broad shoulders were tense, hinting that he was gripping the reins of his horse for dear life.

The pair of you had been travelling for something like a month, all the way from Wyoming, to reach this point. And for most of the trip, he’d remained the Joel you knew and loved. Quiet, and funny, with the warmest smile. But as you’d neared Texas state lines, he’d withdrawn. Started to shut you out; talking less and seldom laughing at your jokes. You knew it was hard for him, to return after so much time, and so you didn’t push him. But that didn’t mean your heart didn’t pang nervously as he pulled his horse to a halt outside of a house.

Closure, Tommy had called it.

“You gotta go back, Joel,” he’d said one night at the dining hall in Jackson. “Even if it’s just once. You owe it to yourself.”

It had taken months to convince his older brother. After three years living in Jackson, Joel had become so comfortable in his new life. He had come so far from being the man you’d heard stories about when he and Ellie first arrived in the settlement.

He’s dangerous, people would whisper. He’s killed people.

And at first, you’d feared him alongside the rest of your community. Until he wormed his way into your heart, and shared himself with you. Yes, he was dangerous, and yes, he had killed, that much you were aware of. But in time, he confided in you. Things about his past that he’d never been able to verbalise to anyone, whispered in your ear while hidden under the sheets of his bed. He trusted you, and you trusted him. And so when Tommy finally wore him down enough that he agreed to go back to Texas, he said he’d only go if you went with him.

“Just to see it,” Joel had said adamantly on the day you left Jackson, as the pair of you saddled your horses. “It’ll be nice just to see it.”

“Long way to go just to see it,” you’d said quietly, stomach twisting with an unfamiliar feeling. You knew what lay within his house in Texas. Knew what memories resided there, festering inside the walls. The ghosts of who he once was, of the life he was supposed to live. The memory of… her. The daughter he’d lost.

He talked about her more and more, the longer you knew him. Shared stories, confessed to you when things reminded him of her, and the way it made him feel. He dreamt about her often. A few mornings out of every month he would wake with a thin sheen of sweat on his face, muscles tense as he cried out for her, begged her to stay. And you would soothe him, brush the hair off his forehead and hold him, lulling him back to sleep with soft words in his ear and gentle kisses against his hairline.

Standing outside of the house, the thought flitted through your mind once more. Your eyes darted warily between the old property and him. Staring at the profile of his face, you tried to discern an emotion; tried to gage any hint of feeling there. But Joel’s face was blank, forehead smooth, mouth a thin line, as he tied the horses up.

Without a word, he was walking up the driveway toward the front door. Pulse quickening, you trailed behind on numb legs, hand gripping the gun holstered on your hip. If you hoped for anything, it was that infected weren’t holed up inside the house you’d travelled so far to see.

The front door gave way easily under his weight, and a cloud of dust exploded around the pair of you as you stepped past the threshold. And it was… a house. No, a home. No sounds came from within, no rustling or footsteps or clicking. It seemed uninhabited. Safe. You stood behind Joel, waiting for his signal.

Joel cleared his throat, peering around with a tense jaw. “Look around. See if we can find anything useful to take back with us.” You noticed he didn’t refer to Jackson as home.

He wandered slowly through the lower level of the house, not touching anything at first, as if he were hesitant to lay his hands over the things that had once been his possessions. You watched him silently, carefully, allowing him to take the lead. And when he ducked through a set of double doors into a different room, you couldn’t help but analyse the space, how things had been left, all those years ago.

The place was clearly well-lived in. A few plates and bowls rested in the sink, a mug on the counter. A DVD rested on a coffee table by the couch, some 80s action flick with two guys on the cover. Curtis and Viper 2, it read in bold red lettering, This time it’s a family affair. You smiled curiously but didn’t pick it up to read the back.

Rustling came from the doors Joel was behind, and you figured you should start looking around as well. You padded heavily up the stairs, dush and grime loosing into the air as your boots worked against the old carpet. The landing was large, and you could see a few doorways from where you stood. Peeking through the first one, you saw a large bed, a TV mounted on the wall, and a treadmill. You huffed quietly, trying to picture a world in which Joel would run on a machine while watching television. The image was difficult to conjure.

“Y’find anything?” Joel’s gruff voice carried up the stairs.

“Not yet,” you hollered.

“Check the bathroom,” he called. “Might be some painkillers in there. Old antibiotics maybe.”

“On it.”

You moved further down the hall, nudging your boot against a closed door before peering in.

Posters covered the walls, dusty and faded from years of sunlight shining in the window. A double bed with blueish green covers, two sets of drawers. And pictures… so many pictures, tacked against the pink walls, depicting smiling, happy faces. Some that you’d come to know well, and one that you’d never seen before.

Stepping further into the room, you stared at the photograph stuck above her bedhead. It was of Tommy and Joel, with a small girl tucked underneath his arm, her arms wrapped around his middle as she beamed at the camera. Sarah. You swallowed down the ball of emotion that had settled in your throat.

“Found some scissors and tape,” Joel hollered, and you gave a half-hearted shout of acknowledgement in return.

Your lungs tightened, and suddenly your breathing was shorter, the knowledge that you were standing in his daughter’s room almost suffocating you. You turned quickly, with every intention of leaving the room, until something on the dresser opposite her bed caught your eye.

A small, faded card. White paper that had yellowed and faded over the years, that had a cartoon drawing of a dinosaur wearing a party hat across the front. The word ‘CONGRATULATIONS!’ was scrawled in red print below it.

Your fingers ghosted across the paper, feeling the thinness of it; the delicate fragility of something that hadn’t been touched by another human being in over twenty years. Careful not to cause any damage, you opened it. Your eyes turned blurry as they trailed over the words scribbled on the card.

Dear Dad, Let’s see… you’re never around, you hate the music I’m into, you practically despise the movies I like, and yet somehow you still manage to be the best dad every year. How do you do that? Happy Birthday, Pops! Sarah.

A tear rolled off your chin and landed on your shirt, leaving a dark stain. You sniffled sharply, wiping the wet sensation from your face. The flimsy paper shook in your grip, and you found yourself anxious that it would disintegrate at any moment.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Joel’s voice was steely, low. You flinched, the card tumbling out of your hand and back onto the chest. Your partner loomed tall in the doorway, staring you down. His face was thunderous, expression a mask of fury that you’d never expected to have directed at you, in this lifetime or the next. Dark eyes glared at you, as his mouth twisted into a snarl, lip curled up to reveal gritted teeth.

“Joel,” you breathed, wiping furiously at your cheeks again to remove any sign that you’d been crying. “I’m sorry, I was jus-“

“Why are you touching her things?”

You noticed his eyes never moved off you. He didn’t dare look around the room, her room. “I’m sorry,” you repeated feebly. “I didn’t- I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry.”

He diverted his gaze, staring down at what you had dropped.

“What is that?” he asked. His voice was quieter, softer. It was like every one of his features pinched together in the middle of his face, and he took a slow step into the room.

“It’s a card,” you told him, slowly reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. He met your gaze, silently asking you to tell him more without him having to ask. “The birthday card she wrote for you. I’m sorry, I know it’s personal and I shouldn’t ha—”

“She never gave me a birthday card that year.”

“What?”

“No card. Just the watch.”

Your eyesight blurred as you stared at him. He moved slowly, as if he had to beg his limbs to work and even then, they dragged along the ground. When he picked it up, the card looked so small in his large hands. Long, dirt-stained fingers gripped the withered paper, splaying it open so he could read it.

And for a moment, everything was still. No movement, no sound, nothing could interrupt the way his eyes danced along the messy handwriting, devouring every letter. A few minutes passed, and you realised he was reading it over and over again. His chest began to rise and fall faster, as short sharps breaths rattled in and out of his lungs.

“Joel,” you whispered, voice hoarse with emotion.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, and you shook your head and took a hesitant step towards him, but you were too slow.

His knees buckled, and he dropped onto the carpet with a heavy thud. You cursed, crouching beside him to get a better look at his face. Silent tears streamed from his eyes, rolling down the hills of his cheekbones before disappearing into his beard. His chapped lips quivered as he silently mouthed the words written on the card, not meeting your eye. You placed a hand on his back and stifled the sound of despair that worked its way up your throat.

“Joe—”

“My baby girl,” he choked out, finally looking at you.

“I know,” you hushed desperately, rubbing soft circles on his back. “I know.”

“N-never saw this,” Joel grunted. It seemed painful for him to speak, and his left hand reached up to press against his chest. Fear spiked inside you, and your hand tightened on his back. “She never—” he paused, upper body swaying.

His mouth was downturned, low breathy sobs escaping his lips as he tried to regain control of his body. But it was out of his control, and you could see the fear crawling under his skin as memories of Sarah wormed through his brain, and twisted his insides.

“I know,” you repeated gently. “I need you to breathe, Joel. Can you hear me?” he nodded faintly, fingertips crinkling the corner of the card where he held it. “Need you to breathe with me now. Slowly, in and out, like this. Don’t go passing out on me.”

He shook his head quickly, but copied the sound of your exaggerated breaths, sucking in air before expelling it heavily. “My girl,” he muttered, and you nodded, kissing his shoulder quickly. “I failed her, I—"

“No,” you said sharply, and finally he looked at you. Bloodshot, grief-stricken eyes stared at you as you shook your head. “You did everything you could. She said it herself, you’re the best dad. She loves you so much, Joel, I can feel it.” His chest shook, and he was silent, breathing heavily as he absorbed your words. You rested your hand atop the one on his chest, slotting your fingers in-between his. His heartbeat thudded aggressively against his sternum, vibrating against your hands.

He squeezed your fingers painfully tight, closing his eyes. “I wish I could just—” he gasped quietly, voice rattling. “Wish I could see her, need to see her.”

You dropped to your knees, pressing your back against his shoulder and cradling him in your arms as he shook. You pressed your hand firmer against his.

“Right here,” you whispered. “This is where it is – her love for you. She’s here, every single day, every second, you just have to let yourself feel it.”

“I don’t know how,” he said desperately. You soothed him quietly, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead as he leant heavier against you. “I don’t think I can.”

“You can,” you murmured against his hair, feeling the way his shoulders sagged with exhaustion. “I’m here, let me help you.”

For a while, the pair of you stayed like that. Resting on the carpet in his daughter’s bedroom, leaning against each other’s as a thick silence blanketed you.

You didn’t move a muscle until he said he wanted to leave, and watched him pack the things he’d found into a bag, keenly aware of the way he slid the card between the pages of a thick book and tucked it into the bag as well, careful not to crease it.

Joel was quiet as you left the house, quiet as you untied the horses. Quiet as he rode down the street, with you a few paces behind, heading away from the cul-de-sac, the broken-down houses, Curtis and Viper 2, and the pictures on Sarah’s bedroom wall. For a few days, he didn’t say much at all, and most nights on the trip back to Jackson, as the pair of you settled in your sleeping bags to rest, he would look. He would wait until he thought you were asleep, and then you’d hear him take the book out of his bag, flipping through the pages until he found the birthday card, so he could read her words once more.

And you weren’t naïve. You knew that a part of him would forever be broken, after Sarah’s death. A hole in his heart that nothing and no one could mend – not a second daughter, nor a relationship. But so long as you lived, you knew you would be there, right behind him. To hold him and remind him to feel that love; to breathe it in, to savour Sarah’s love and kindness in his heart, in the hopes that remembering the light would help shut out a little of the darkness.

#joel miller #joel miller angst #joel miller hurt/comfort #joel miller fanfiction #my writing #back to texas #request

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roseapov · 10 months ago

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Overtime in the Akademiya

Contains spoilers to the Sumeru: Archon Quests Tw: none Fluff 900+ words Masterlist / 2024 BDAY Masterlist Alhaitham's 2024 Birthday Special

Today has been rough for everyone in the Akademiya, just like all of the passing recent days.

After the whole overthrowing Azar, a Fake God situation and disconnecting Akasha Terminals, Akademiya couldn't be a bigger shamble. Even when they tried their best to appear as if nothing serious happened.

Huge delays of many deadlines, changed expectations, new forbidden research topics and the masses of students running from one corner to another were saying otherwise. Driving mad both students and staff working themselves to passing out trying to find some balance to hold on to.

This time has been especially exhausting to the new appointed, Acting Grand Sage - Alhaitham.

With the working hours long since ended, the desk lamp in the biggest office was still glowing, acompanying it's user who was working overtime again, trying to get a hold of the situation and resolve it quickly.

No one envied the new appointed Head, maybe some of them did at first, but after seeing the state of an ever rational, machine-like stoic scholar in such a mess, they quickly abandoned their wish and idea altogether. None of them wanted to be in his skin now...

As if his horribly dark eyebags and disappearing from everyone's eyes, locking himself in the office all the time wasn't showing how messy everything had been lately.

All of the support from the Dendro Archon was greatly appreciated and very much needed, as Alhaitham wasn't being able to clear his desk from the papers alone. No matter if he worked non-stop day and night, he couldn't see an end to it, and yet the amount of them only seemed to increase over time.

The repetitive routine never ended and haven't let anyone working on them to take a single break, and so more help was needed.

Volountiers - mostly students working on less-confidential files who wanted to obtain extra credites, hoping that they would help them with their graduation and those who have already graduated - hoping to ensure their stable and more superior positions in the new Akademiya in the making.

And yet all of their work, all of these helping hands, eyes and smart brains wasn't enough, it would never be enough, and Alhaitham knew that all too well, but all of their efforts were appreciated and rewarded nonetheless.

At this point, he would take most of the student body to help if they volountered, no one has ever saw him so desperate and stressed before.. And only Celestia knew how many times Alhaitham and other scholars cursed Azar in their minds - some even out loud.

This night again, Alhaitham fallen asleep on his desk in the middle of filling another crucial paper, with his hands placed on top of each other as he placed his head on them in the opposite direction from the still working lamp.

The sleeping man got suddenly woken up in the middle of the night, seemingly out of nowhere, as he started hearing voices from the side of his office. His first reaction was to stand up and go to see the source of the sound. As he stood up he was immiediately hit with a wave of dizziness, but still took his swords despite that and prepared to sneak-up on the intruders.

When he thought about finally going to check out the suspicious noise, he saw a little cupcake with a single white candle and green frosting, with sugary letters saying "Happy Birthday!"... At that he slightly lowered his weapons, more calmed down, but still cautious nonetheless.

It is today, huh? He completely forgot, Alhaitham shook his head smiling slightly and sighing. In the next few second he got serious once again, walking with his dual swords towards the source of the noise, hearing familiar laughter behind the mini-wall made from a bookshelf.

The next thing that Alhaitham saw had relaxed him entirely, as he quietly shook his head at the newcomers antics, with a genuine smile and the feeling of the pressure being taken off his chest.

Right in the middle of the so-called relaxation room in his office sat his friends: Kaveh, Cyno and Tighnari. All of them laughed happily at his reaction, clearly enjoying his expression and their succesfull surprise, as both Tighnari and Kaveh made a high five and Cyno was smirking at the taller man. At that he only just rubbed his eyes from still lingering sleepiness and looked at them for a while.

Soon after he put back his swords, another weight had been added onto the couch, with the man sitting close to everyone. Some of them started to chat about some light things, while the others continued to lighten his workload, just like before he joined, sometimes chimming some light remarks into the conversation as well.

Their laughs and happy conversations had surrounded the Grand Sage office up till the rise of the dawn, and when everyone had fallen asleep, Alhaitham - unnonticed by the rest covered them all with blankets and changed positions of some of them, to lessen their possible pains afterwards.

With another happy yet tired sigh he also placed himself on one of the couches, falling asleep comfortably and peacefully, just like before all of this mess started. In that moment he was very thankful for having companions like that, going out of their ways to help him out and be with him from their own will and initiative.

What strange friends he has, he thinks with a gentle and tired smile. He's feeling glad, as he drifts off to a dream land...

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