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askinkiskarma · 2 years ago

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Illicit Affairs | Chapter VII: Hoax

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: Tensions erupt when Neteyam confronts you about something he saw. His secret comes out at the worst time, leaving you both in pieces.

Warnings: (a little) smut (18+, Minors DNI), angst, mentions of blood mentions of death, injury, pills, pill addiction, opioid addiction, disease, cursing, some fluff + all the feels.

Word Count: 9,5k words (holy mother)

A/N: This is it, guys! Where tensions explode and secrets come come out, hearts are bound to be broken. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I put everything into it. I cried whilst writing it, I laughed whilst writing it, pretty sure I experienced the full spectrum of human emotions whilst doing this. Also, I have ignored my actual work to finish it, so if I fail my annual progression review, at least it would have been worth it. Let me know what you think, and as always, thank you for everyone who is reading is and asked to be tagged <;3

"My only one, my kingdom come undone My broken drum, you have beaten my heart Don't want no other shade of blue, but you No other sadness in the world would do"

“There are perks with being an Omatikaya, you know? You can make your bow out of the wood of the Home Tree… and you can choose a mate.”

Fuck.

“Lo’ak… be serious.”

“I am serious, Angel. You’ve been in my life for as long as I can remember. You have always been the only one to see me for more than just a freak, or a fuck-up, or a disappointment. You see me.”

The younger Sully boy gently cupped you face in his hand; he was caressing your cheek with his thumb. Using a little force, he willed your face upwards so you could look up at his face; you were surprised to see the intensity in his eyes.

You placed your hand on his arm, and you hoped by slowly massaging it, it would relax him enough to soften your following words.

“Lo’ak… I do see you. You are an incredible person. You have been there for me my whole life, and I will be forever grateful to you. You have been the only one who constantly chose the dark stuffy lab to the beauty of this world because the labs had me in it, you were closest to my mum and she loved you like you were her own. I think you are the most amazing guy there is and I think your mate will be the luckiest girl there is. But that’s not me, Lo’ak. You know that can’t be me.”

His hand dropped from your face and both of his hands took yours in them, squeezing them ardently.

“But it is you. It has to be you.”

“Kehe (no). Lo’ak, you are my best friend. I am your best friend. I love you so much, and I know you love me too, but the love we have for each other is not the kind of love one needs to be mated for life.”

You spoke softly, looking at him pleadingly, hoping that he would understand your words in the way that you intend them. You can see his gaze drop and form deflate, being replaced by a meek one, a shadow of his former self.

“Oh… I see.” He was now turning his back to you, trying to leave without looking you in the eye. You were not going to let that happen.

“I’m not letting you leave.” You say, keeping his hands tightened in yours. “We will talk about this, and you will recognise I am right.”

Neteyam was having trouble seeing as he was manoeuvring his way through the forest. He felt sick to his stomach and every heartbeat sent waves of hurt through his entire body, like shards of glass gutting him from inside out. How could his own brother do this? How could you do this? He has spent more than two months with you, every day, sending touches and glances your way that were begging to be seen, begging to be acknowledged. He secretly prayed that you would call him out on it, give him a reason to finally tell you that he’s loved you since he was 10 and yearned for your touch since the second his eyes fell on you again after a whole year apart. He wanted you to finally give him a reason to tell everyone to fuck off and let him finally live his life by his own rules, with you by his side.

Neteyam was shaking with tempestuous fury at the unfairness of it all. Lo’ak will always get everything just handed to him on a silver platter, won’t he? Freedom, to make his own choices, to live his life as he wished, carelessly and devoid of any forethought or responsibility. And now he got you, the woman of his dreams - and nightmares - and the future he used to fantasise would one day be his.

His legs were moving without any conscious input from his mind, and before long, he found himself on the way to the clearing you and him used to go to all the time. Your place, just for his and your eyes to see, just for his and your hearts to experience. As he was nearing, he heard soft sounds emerging from the spot, and he slowly, carefully approached with a bow at the ready and all his senses heightened.

“We were in the backseat, drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar…

I rent a place on Cornelia Street, I say casually in the car…”

Soft strumming and the most beautiful voice he has ever heard, a voice that he would recognise anywhere, for the rest of time, made him drop the bow he was gripping tightly. That song, Neteyam thought with a wince, and let himself remember.

“This piece of heaven is our Cornelia Street.”

“What’s Cornelia Street?”

“Well, it’s a place back on Earth where one of her houses used to be, but in this case, it’s a metaphor. Cornelia Street is to them what this clearing is to us.”

A month before your 17th birthday is the last day Neteyam saw you. He was coming to say goodbye. You didn’t know that, and, in your enthusiasm at seeing him after such a long time because of his training, or so he told you, you suggested coming here. Neteyam remembers everything about that day. He didn’t sleep that night, cried himself to sleep quietly in his family’s tent thinking of the possibility of not seeing you again, for a long time, perhaps forever. He had decided that his mum was right. Being around you was hurting you both, and maybe by leaving, both of you could heal and move on. He wouldn’t have to live with causing you more pain than you already had to deal with, and you wouldn’t have to go outside, something that you were only doing for him, it seemed. It was a win-win, he thought, and yet his heart was torn apart, coming apart at the seams of wounds that barely healed.

You were sitting on the ground, resting your back on a rock by the river bank, with the same guitar in your hands you have had since you were young. Neteyam thought he probably heard thousands of songs being played on that guitar, countless hours laying just like he was now, hearing you sing. He did not like humans, could not understand them, their world, their traditions, their beliefs, but watching you strum that guitar and singing about your love, a love neither of you could ever say out loud except in this way, he realised humans did some things right. Humanity did you right.

“We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead, leading us home”

Neteyam watched you intently, and was trying to assimilate the lyrics as best he could, knowing this was always your preferred method of communication, knowing that through these songs you are confessing your true, buried desires. You looked at him as you sang, giving him a big smile.

“And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”

A year and a half later, inhabiting a new body, you were not smiling anymore as you were playing this, the strumming on the guitar slower and more sorrowful, and your voice sounded hoarse, like you had been crying. Neteyam couldn’t believe that you would come here, in his and your secret place and sing the song you silently confessed your feelings to, after what he saw. He felt his anger poison his body, as his heart picked up pace and made his heartbeat ring painfully in his ears, muffling the sound of your voice.

“I never did walk Cornelia Street again after that day, you know? I kept my promise.”

Neteyam freezes in place, a shocked expression marring his features. You heard him, even with your back to him, even while playing and with the soft hum of the river to dull your senses, you knew. Felt him, his presence that charged this clearing like the air before lighting strike. He, however, does not seem to hear the hint of sadness in your voice, nor the sniffling that accompanies it.

“It took me a while to figure out you weren’t going to come back. It did not dawn on me right away. I thought you were just training hard, as you had been for years at that point, I didn’t think anything of it. I only figured it out a month after I played you this song, when my birthday came and you didn’t show. I waited all day. Way past eclipse, way past the point everyone else was gone and sleeping peacefully, I waited. I didn’t sleep that night. I was afraid I was going to miss you and no one would be able to let you through the door. It never occurred to me you wouldn’t show - not until the dawn of the next day. That’s when it hit.”

“I remember singing you this song, I was terrified. I mean, we talked around it all of our lives, I sang you songs, and I read you poems, and you’d sleep in my bed and let me attach myself to you in a way no friend ever would. But this song, I thought, would be the one. The one that would make us finally have to talk through it. The night before, I had watched an episode of Gilmore Girls, right? And it’s that episode when Dean pitches up at Rory’s school after she drops him hints that she’s in love with him, and he gets mad for one reason or another and then she screams at him “I love you, you idiot!”. And he drops all the stuff he was holding and rushes to her and kisses her, like really kisses her. And I remember thinking, I’m going to sing you this song, and this will be my “I love you, you idiot” moment.”

Neteyam walked slowly towards your form that was still turned around from him, and felt two forces tugging at him, ripping him apart. On one hand, there was the rage, and jealousy, the monster that wanted to scream at you, to hurt you for breaking his heart without even acknowledging it. On the other, there was deep sadness and grief, for the new information that he is receiving, for knowing what this meant to you, what he did to you, how he left you the day that you confessed, how that only strengthened his resolve. He didn’t know which was going to win.

“I never had any expectations. I was never delusional enough to think that you would ever choose me. But I did have dreams. And in the dreams, you told me you loved me too, and that whatever it was, we would always be able to work through it together. That day after my birthday, I felt like something ripped apart in me that I’ve never recovered from. I’ve lost so much of myself throughout the years, every time something new came up. I’ve been in pieces, broken and shattered, my whole life, and yet somehow you managed to walk away with the biggest piece. Because I could never put you in a drawer at the bottom of my desk, like all my other pieces. You were never truly gone, you were just far enough that I could never reach you, but near enough that I could never heal. I mourned you, mourned the me that you took with you, every day for months. Losing you broke me, Neteyam. You broke me. I will never forgive you for that night.”

“Well I guess we’re both fucking disappointed with each other then.”

Neteyam saw you shoulders hunch even more than they were and your head bow towards the ground. You hand raised to your cheeks and wiped something off your face, before you finally stood up and and turned around, facing him. Neteyam’s breath caught in his throat at the new sight. Your eyes were puffy and red, and tears marked your cheeks, so pronounced it was as if they would stain your face forever.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He felt his own tears threatening to spill then, pricking at his eyes painfully, begging to be released. There was so much pain inside of him, pain you caused him, pain for the hurt he knew he caused you, pain that felt like it will never diminish.

“You’re sitting here, talking about that night and this song, in this place that once meant so much to us, after giving yourself to another man, to my fucking brother, and you want me to feel bad?”

He saw your face slowly register his words, as if you were mulling over every word carefully, turning it in your mind, and saw how your face went from sad to cold and unflinching and a shiver ran down his spine. You rose an eyebrow at him, an expression only he seemed to have the power to coax out of you.

“What did you just say?”

“You heard me. I saw you. I saw you in the forest, his hands all over you, I saw you running your hand up and down his arm. I’ve known he has been sneaking in your tent for weeks. What are you doing with my baby brother in your tent late at night, Y/N?”

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE II: ANGER

“You honestly have some fucking nerve, Neteyam.”

“You do not get to come here, come to this place, or any place for that matter and demand an explanation from me. I don’t owe you anything. You fucking left, Neteyam! We’re nothing to each other. Whatever claim or right you might have had once to ask anything of me or from me is long gone.”

Neteyam stalked towards where you were standing, your words echoing in his mind. He was mad, mad at you for what you did, but also mad at himself. Because he knew you were right. He had no right to come here after abandoning you and the relationship you two had and be angry that you moved on. And yet he was.

He was so close to you now he could feel your breath fanning over his face as you looked up at him, panting with anger, lips slightly opened. He couldn’t help look at them, those lips he has dreamed about for years, the way they’d feel on him, their taste… your taste. It was driving him insane, being so close to you, knowing what he knew.

“Why? Why Lo’ak? You could have picked anyone else.”

You chuckled bitterly. “Really? So if I picked Akoa or Tärze, you wouldn’t be here right now, wouldn’t be mad and looking at me like somehow I betrayed you?”

“Or is it possible it doesn’t actually matter who it is, it’s not the fact that it’s Lo’ak… it’s the fact it’s not you.”

“You see, I think deep down you know it should have been you. I think deep down it kills you that you are not in my tent late at night. You’re not the one that gets to touch me.” he felt your hand place over his bare chest and run it down his abdomen until it reached his red loin cloth, which you slightly tugged at. He felt his cock twitch in response.

You don’t know what came over you. You came here to mourn, still reeling after your conversation with Lo’ak. You never expected to see him here, hear his presence while you sang the song that once signified hope and love, and now is just a bitter reminder of all you’ve lost. You definitely never expected him to question you over Lo’ak, or be so angry over something that would never happen anyway.

You were furious with him, furious that he never told you how he felt for you, and now he was clearly showing it to you by his displays of anger and jealousy. This was not how this was supposed to go.

You felt a sick satisfaction at his demeanour. You made him like this, this angry, nose flared and panted breaths, you had this power over him. Just the thought of you with another man drove him to this point, and you loved it. He deserved it, deserves much worse.

“You should leave, Neteyam.”

You started turning your back to him, but he took hold of your arm and kept you in place forcefully. His other hand went to your neck, and you felt him wrapping his hand around it and squeezing.

“No.”

You were shocked at his actions, and even more shocked at the immediate reaction your body had to him. You felt throbbing deep within you, and squeezed your thighs tightly together to accommodate for the feeling.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me. Did you fuck my brother, Atan (light)?”

He was still squeezing your throat, and you felt your pulse quickening when he moved and took a hold of you jaw, forcing you to look in his eyes. He looked mad, sad, desperate for an answer that would either mend or break him. You felt his intense stare in every cell in your body and felt yourself clench around nothing.

You wanted to lie, wanted to see him suffer at least some of the hurt he’s caused you. But you couldn’t, not with how he was looking at you, not with how he was holding you.

“Fuck you, Neteyam. I would never do that. Fuck you for thinking for a second that something like would ever even cross my mi-“

It wasn’t possible for you to finish the sentence, as his lips roughly slammed against yours, and you immediately, as if your body needed no input from your mind, raised your hands to the circle around his neck, pushing him closer to you.

You moaned into the kiss, and the sound removed any ounce of sanity or self-discipline from his being, and he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and slide his tongue over your bottom lip, begging for permission.

He felt his hand drop back around your throat, squeezing, loving the feel of your quickened pulse, knowing he was responsible for it, for your swollen lips and dilated pupils, for the way you were squeezing your thighs together. You were his, to love, to touch, to do whatever he wanted to.

He was so hard now, his loincloth was constricting around him painfully, and he knew if he kept going, he was not going to able to stop himself until you were writhing underneath him, until he made you beg and scream his name over and over, all night long.

“Pathfinder, this is Devil Dog, come in, over.”

Fuck.

Your body ached at the loss of contact, as Neteyam removed his hand from around your throat and his lips from your own. He was panting, and tried to steady himself before he touched the little button on the radio on his neck, sighing deeply.

“I’m here, Devil Dog. What’s your post? Over.”

You turned your back to him, and took a few steps towards the river, trying to compose yourself. What the fuck did I just do? This was bad, for so many reasons, it was making you dizzy just counting them all. You couldn’t hear what Jake was saying to Neteyam, but it couldn’t have been good, it was very rare Jake would use the radio to communicate with his kids, you’ve only seen it once when there was a hunting accident that needed everyone’s attention.

“You need to get back to the village, now. We have a situation. If Y/N is with you, bring her back, too. Over and out.”

Shit, this can’t be good, Neteyam thought to himself. He looked over at you and saw you turned your back to him, hiding. You were good at that, pretending, denying, avoiding. Pushing your feelings aside was your favourite defence mechanism, had been ever since your mum died.

His eyes softened and he felt stupid for having doubted you, for spending so many weeks losing sleep over something that never even happened. Guilt also immediately pooled in his gut from the kiss, the confession, the implications of it, all of which things he would have to deal with sooner or later. The horror at the thought of the consequences of his actions made his skin crawl, but he didn’t have too much time to dwell on it, knowing his dad expected them to hurry.

“Hey… we have to get back, dad said to meet him in the village.”

You nodded weakly in his direction, and started making your way towards the village. Once again, he found himself having to clasp your arm by your wrist and turn you around so you could face him. You refused to look at him, so he cupped your face in his hand and raised you head gently so you could look at him. His thumb was ghosting over your lips, that were still swollen and when his eyes met yours, he saw a sadness so deep it made Pandora’s oceans feel like shallow pools.

“We need to talk, properly talk.”

You just nodded silently and removed his hand from your face, and the last thing he saw was your back, walking away.

You were deep in thought as you arrived in the village, and were pulled out of your musings when you saw a big commotion happening all around you. You have never seen the village like this.

There was a crowd of people by the big bonfire, so that’s where you and Neteyam figured to look first.

“…and no matter what comes next, we will stand and fight, together!” You heard big screams and ululating as Jake’s voice boomed throughout the village, above all the noise.

You saw Norm and Max, all the humans and avatars on the right of the Olo’yektan. On his left stood Mo’at, Neytiri and all their children, plus Spider. Lo’ak was screaming and beating his chest, whilst Kiri looked concerned, and Tuk was almost crying, with a tight grip on her mum’s hand. You made your way through the mass of people, reaching the foot of the large tree stump acting like a platform. Jake spotted you and helped you up, and you saw Neteyam following you from the corner of your eye.

Since the speech was done, people started dissipating, and Jake turned his attention to the pair of you.

“Last night, Neytiri and I spotted a star in the night sky that shone brighter than it ever had before.”

Panic rose in your chest at his words, words that you knew could only mean one thing. “The humans are returning.” you said, meekly.

Jake nodded in your direction with anger flashing across his face, before he composed himself.

“We knew this day was coming, but it is definitely different when it is finally happening than the image you had in your head.” you heard Norm pitch in from somewhere behind Jake.

“How long?” Neteyam asked.

“About a week?” Max said, and the man with such a kind and gentle face was scared, you realised sadly. Everyone was scared.

“Fuck.” Neteyam’s face was unreadable. The war he trained all his life for was finally on his doorstep.

“I need you to complete your Iknimaya before then. Tomorrow, you will go perform your first kill. You are more than ready. It’s time. When the humans come, I need you with me. With us.”

You couldn’t swallow the lump that has formed in your throat enough to speak, so you just nodded. You were not ready. The last time you were on an Ikran, you almost died. You felt the phantom pain on your left leg flare up, and you were terrified at the prospect of another flashback triggering as you were fighting for your life on top of the Hallelujah mountains, trying to make the bond.

The crowd eventually dispersed and everybody went back to their homes. There was a heaviness in the air, no smiles or singing tonight, no communal dinner where people animatedly exchange stories and anecdotes; you saw Na’vi hugging their loved ones, keeping them close at all times, as if letting go would mean letting go forever. The war was upon you, and with it, the possibility of loss and grief settled in the bones of every one of the villagers.

You felt sick to your stomach. A shiver ran through your entire body, and, at the weakness that enveloped your being suddenly, you knew the effects of all the pills you took to mitigate your symptoms have worn off. The dizziness you felt was more than just a weak headache you could ride out, but a sign your human body was fighting to maintain the neurolink inside the pod. You didn’t have much time.

“I’m gonna go to bed. See you all tomorrow.” You needed to be in your tent when you passed out, otherwise it would raise suspicion immediately and you couldn’t afford that.

“Hey, you can’t leave. We still need to talk.” Neteyam said, lightly tugging at your arm.

“Not today, Neteyam.” You removed your limb from his grasp and left without giving him a second look.

You were pulled out of the linkpod quite violently by your own body recoiling in agony. You felt a stupid ping of gratefulness at the fact that, although due to horrible news, at least no one was in the lab or adjacent hubs at the current moment. You struggled to get up, and found the walk back to your room excruciating, like no matter how much you walked, it was not anywhere in sight. When you arrived, you went straight to the bathroom and barely managed to make it to the toilet before throwing up, your body violently convulsing in on itself, trying to expel everything from your body. You haven’t had a proper meal in this body in months, so all your body was managing to get rid of was bile, bitter and acidic on your tongue.

When you were done, you pushed your body weakly towards the sink, and gargled the bad taste away with some water and mouth wash. You peered up at the mirror, and were alarmed by the face that met your gaze. You barely recognised yourself. Your face looked ghastly, the palest you have ever been, the hollows of your cheeks looking like pits of shadows and darkness.

Your under-eye bags gave away how little sleep you were actually functioning under, how little rest you actually got in the last few months. You looked truly sick, although you didn’t know how much of that was the virus and how much it was just you… ignoring your body like you ignored everything that you had to work through, everything that required healing and spiritual effort, and trading it for a easy-to-digest fantasy.

You made your way towards your bed limply and was comforted by the bottles of pills you saw on your bedside table, that will provide fleeting relief. You passed out on the bed soon after, happy that the suffering could be over for at least some hours.

You woke up a couple of hours before dawn, with a raging fever and chills running up and down your spine, and instead of struggling back to sleep, you got up slowly and put some clothes on, making your way towards the labs. Today was an important day, and you needed to be focused for it, you couldn’t afford the same thing as yesterday take place. In the medical ward, you scrambled in the drawers until you found what you were searching for. The holy grail, injectable morphine. You hastily grabbed a syringe and a needle, measured out the amount needed, shook the syringe to remove any air bubbles, and directed it to your arm, where you injected it in your vein. Placebo effect or not, you felt immediate relief, and you knew this would put you through the day.

Norm came to the linkpod to help with the neurolink, and he gave you a worried look as he watched you settle in.

“I think you should be taking a break from this.”

“Are you serious right now? The humans are literally circling the atmosphere as we speak, I can’t afford to take breaks now, you know this.”

“What I know is that you look about a week away from collapsing in my arms, and your Avatar won’t work without you, Ace. You’re always in the village, and you don’t sleep. You’re always running experiments when you are here. Look, I love your enthusiasm, and I love that you’ve finally getting outside and enjoying your life, but there’s also too much of a good thing.”

You were started to feel anger pick at your brain, much like the virus you were carrying with you everywhere you went.

“You made this for me. You made me this Avatar. You guilt tripped me into taking it. Now you’re unhappy I’m using the Avatar. Why don’t you make up your mind and let me know, Norm? In the meantime, I have to go.”

You lay in the on the pod and placed the metal frame on top of your body, and you couldn’t miss the tear that fell on Norm’s face as he closed the lid of the pod.

It was still before dawn when your consciousness woke up in the blue body you’ve come to love so much, and you couldn’t help feel immense guilt at the words you spat at Norm. He doesn’t deserve any of this; he has been a surrogate uncle for you ever since you were born. He made you an Avatar, he built you a guitar. He helped you go outside and live your life, he was always there for you if you needed to talk, or vent. He has always believed in you, in your capacity to help, to do good, to overcome your grief. You would have to apologise to him come nighttime.

You saw Jake make his way to you as you opened the flap to your tent. “Hi, kid.” Tensions were running high, you could tell, as Jake did not smile or make light conversation, as he always tended to do. He would always take the time to check in, to make sure you are doing well, which you appreciated massively. You loved having him and the rest of the family around. It felt like you belonged, for the first time in your life.

“So you, Neteyam, Akoa and Heesu will go and they will watch you perform your first kill. Early tomorrow, we will go take the Iknimaya, and then you will be able to join Neteyam on raids and scouting. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds good, boss.” You saw him crack a tiny smile at that, and felt better you could still make him smile, even in these circumstances.

Neteyam came out of the tent looking… so good it made your mouth fill with saliva. He was holding his bow tightly in his hands, and he was adorning new jewellery, you noted. A beautiful black necklace, filled with beads and impressive craftsmanship, his red and green cummerbund tightly wrapped around his ribcage, and his knife tucked on his hip, all came together to bring about Neteyam Te Sulli Tsyeyk’itan, the future leader of the Omaticaya. But what really drew your eye, was a bracelet. A green bracelet that he kept around his arm, whose every bead and stone was imprinted in your mind, for the rest of time. Why was he wearing that bracelet, why now? What was he trying to tell you?

Neteyam found his gaze drawn to the girl next to his dad, the only girl that existed, as far as he was concerned. He barely slept last night thinking of you, of that kiss, of your confession, of the song, and he knew he had to make it right sooner rather than later. The humans were coming, not one of them knew what their lives were going to look like in a few weeks, and there was so much to set straight, the thought made him nauseated again. He had to tell you. Your eyes found his and he saw many emotions passing through them, and was happy to see at least one of them was passion, and yearning. You looked at him like you wanted to do things Eywa would disapprove of, and he felt himself twitch in pain for what felt like the millionth time recently.

Neteyam led the pack away from the village and towards the forest where you would have to make your first kill. He had no doubt in his mind you would do well, he honestly doesn’t know why it has taken so long to do it to begin with. You’ve been ready for weeks. After stalking quietly through the forest for a couple of hours, you found a herd of Yerik. Neteyam closed his gap on you and placed a hand on your back, smiling to himself at the way you shuddered when he did.

“You’ve got this. We’ve been through this and you are ready. Remember, keep a knee on the ground for support. Good luck.”

You nodded without looking at him, eyes plastered on one of the animals peacefully grazing on a bush. He saw you, focused and determined, aiming the arrow with precision and power, and he knew then you were made for this. You were made to be here, as one of the people, you were meant to be Na’vi.

You made quick work of the kill, and immediately got up from your crouched stance and made your way to the now fatally injured Yerik. You removed your knife from where it was placed on your chest, and repeated the words he taught you weeks ago. “Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan, ulte ngaru seiyi irayo (I See you, Brother, and thank you). Ngari hu Eywa salew tirea, tokx 'ì'awn slu Na'viyä hapxì (Your spirit goes with Eywa, your body stays behind to become part of the People).”

Perfect, just like he knew you would do. You were nervous, he noted, but you also seemed happy to have finally done it, after all this time training. All four of you made your way back to the village, the two men accompanying you carrying the animal by its legs. Neteyam wanted to talk to you, wanted to get you alone so he can finally tell you all the things he had to say, that he needed to say, the secret that has plagued him for weeks and that drove a wedge between him and his baby brother. Unfortunately, it seems like the universe fated you to never be alone with him again. Right after you arrived at the village, Jake took all of you to gun practice and through strategy meetings about how to plan an attack once the Sky People decelerated. Those lasted the whole day, and before he knew it, you left to your tent again, leaving him to deal with his dad on his own.

“Neteyam. Stay, I want to talk to you.”

“Yes, Senpul (dad)?”

“Did you tell her yet?”

“Not yet. I’m trying to find some time, but it seems like we are never together alone anymore.”

Neteyam saw his dad sighing heavily and was scared for the hell he knew would rain down on him sooner or later.

“Neteyam, you have to tell her. You have asked us to keep your secret, and we have. We have all participated in this, and I am getting tired of lying for you. The kids don’t want to lie to her anymore, your mother doesn’t want for this to be a secret anymore. She deserves to know.”

“You will tell her by the end of the week, or I will.”

Your body convulsed as your mind woke up in your human form, and you tried to hide it as best as you could so whoever was helping you get disconnected wouldn’t notice. To your disappointment, it was Max.

“Hey, sweetheart. How was it today?”

“Good, made the first kill. Going up the Iknimaya tomorrow, which can’t say I am particularly excited about.”

“Oh, honey, you shouldn’t worry about it. It’s going to be completely different than that dreadful day. You are going to be able to control it, you will be connected to it. Plus Toruk has never been spotted this close to the banshee rookery, so there will be nothing making your Ikran nervous.”

“Yeah, guess you are right.” You said, not wanting to tell Max that rationalising it doesn’t achieve anything except making you feel stupid for being scared. “Where’s Norm?”

Max looked agitated for a second, but tried to compose himself enough to appear nonchalant about the subject. “Um, I think he’s in his room, he told me he wants to read this book he still hasn’t gotten around to, if you can believe that. He's been here for almost 19 years, you’d think there’s be nothing new to do here anymore.”

You hoped you weren’t as bad a liar as seemingly everyone you have come across recently, otherwise your illness is not as much of a secret as you’d hoped.

“He told you.”

“Yeah…”

“I was such a dick. I have to apologise. I’ll go find him.”

“Maybe give him some time? He looked really upset, and I think he just needs to lick his wounds by himself for a while.”

“I didn’t mean it, Max. I am just tired and stressed because of the Iknimaya and the humans returning, not that that’s any excuse.”

“I know, honey. He will be alright, just give it time. Time heals everything.”

You could only pray that was the case, for Norm….and for yourself.

You woke up the next morning groggy, feeling sick from your illness and sick from all the pills you ingested last night. If this was starting to be a problem, it was a problem you were gonna have to deal with later. Pandora’s box can hold a couple more issues for the time being. You made your way quietly to the medical ward and found the morphine vial you used yesterday. Withdrawing a few more millilitres, you injected yourself in the arm with it, instant relief flooding your system. You sighed happily and thought this was probably the closest you’ve ever gotten to feeling euphoric.

Your Avatar body looked ready to tackle the Iknimaya, in all new garbs and a new necklace that Kiri made for you recently, as well as Lo’ak’s visors. Tuk and Neytiri were braiding your hair fresh, so you were all ready to go by the end of the eclipse. Feeling how nervous you were, Neytiri put her hand on your heart, and looked into your eyes and she placed the last feather in your hair.

“It will be alright, ma 'ite. You have done better than any other Dream Walker ever has. Even better than the Toruk Makto. I know you are scared because of what happened in the past, but you have grown so much since then. You are such a special child, a gift from Eywa. There’s light in you no darkness can snuff out, and you were made to be one of us. Do not worry.”

You let out a small cry and hugged the woman that could have been your mother in these 9 years after you lost your own, who has loved you and protected you every chance she got, that wanted to take you in the village and raise you as one of the people, but who you pushed away out of fear, out of terror at the possibility of more loss, more pain. She never held a grudge, she never turned her back on you, even after shunning them from your life, she understood you and welcomed you back with open arms as soon as you felt ready to join them. She saw you. You will never be able to repay her kindness.

“We’ll be with you. Kiri and I will fly and bring Tuk on one of our Ikrans. Spider, Lo’ak, Neteyam and Jake will come on their Pa’li with you and make the climb. It will be good practice for them. We all want to celebrate with you. We can all join you on your first flight, so this way it will be less scary.”

You were fully crying in the crook of her neck now, unable to believe the luck you had to having been born somewhere where the Sullys existed at the same time. There was a lot of pain in your life, but this family would always be your good karma, it seemed.

The climb was the most excruciating thing you have ever had to do. Every muscle in your body was pushed to its limits, and you were beginning to wonder how you were supposed to fight a huge animal after all of this. You understand now this is why this was the ultimate test of becoming a hunter, and why there were not many hunters in the Omatikaya. The thought brought a gust of confidence to your mind - you were doing this. You. You’ve gotten so far, further than any scientist on Pandora ever has. You grew up in a lab with severe agoraphobia and unsolved trauma and you still made it here. You will do this, because you have to. Because you’ve come so far.

It was taking every ounce of discipline to not continuously stop and stare at the beauty of the Hallelujah mountains, that you have heard so much about, but never experienced for yourself, and you realised you needed to swallow often to compensate for the dryness you felt from your mouth being stuck agape in awe at the beauteous miracle.

You found yourself peering up at Neteyam frequently throughout the climb, and thoughts about yesterday made your already drugged-out mind even airier. There was so much to think about, so much to talk about, but you couldn’t handle it right now. You couldn’t handle the consequences of that kiss and the hurt that would inevitably emerge from your star-crossed fate. You were dying. Although you didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to acknowledge the reality that your body was falling apart in front of you, it was happening. You probably had another couple of weeks before your heart gave out from all the strain the virus was putting on your whole body, just like it happened with all the other victims.

As if he could feel you, Neteyam turned around and gave you a nervous look. You wondered what he thought of everything, how he felt. Was he happy about the kiss? Did he regret it? In his defence, he has been wanting to talk to you for days and you avoided him, unable to deal with him at the moment. He will just have to be another trinket in the Pandora’s box until you finished the Iknimaya. Making it to a large suspended boulder before you, he stretched out a strong arm for you, and you took it, happy to have at least some physical contact between you. His touch has always calmed your nerves, from when you were children, and now, as adults, that still hasn’t changed.

He didn’t let go once you climbed next to him. Taking advantage of the fact you two were the last to climb, he took hold of your arm with one hand, and placed the other on your face, cupping it gently. His thumb found its way to your lips again, caressing them softly and you felt intoxicated from his touch. He brought his face close to yours and brought your foreheads together, breathing you in. You stood like this, staring at each other for a while, and it was like all the words you wanted to say to each other were spoken wordlessly. I love you. I see you. I’m sorry.

“Are you guys coming or what?” You heard Spider screaming from a higher up boulder, and you reluctantly let go. He squeezed your arm one more time, and then motioned for you to climb in front of him. You weren’t far off now, you realised, and felt your heart picking up pace in your ribcage.

Soon enough, you were there. You could hear thousands of banshees screaming and cooing, and you thought it was mirroring your internal dialogue quite well, loud and incoherent. Neteyam held a hand in front of your body as you made your way across a narrow ledge behind a waterfall, that connected the cave to the banshee nest.

“Ok, kid. This is it. Are you ready?” Jake began speaking and you were trying to focus on him instead of the panicked feeling rising in your chest.

As you were preparing to respond, you heard loud ululating from the sky, and immediately saw two beautiful banshees making their way to the mountain and settling in the cave you just left behind. You smiled at the view, excited that Neytiri, Kiri and Tuk could make it in time. They followed you to the nest and you brought your curled fingers to your forehead, greeting them warmly. I see you.

“Good luck, sister! I cannot wait to fly with you!” Tuk’s enthusiasm never failed to bring a wide smile to your face.

You looked around at all the people who have travelled so far to come and be with you on this day. Your family, for all intents and purposes. You felt tears coming, but pushed them away with a sigh, trying to toughen your resolve. You gave one last look to Lo’ak, who was watching you sadly, the pain from yesterday still fresh in both your minds. You loved him so much, and hoped he would be able to forgive you in time. You touched his gift, now resting on your forehead, and gave him a grateful smile and a wink. He cracked a small grin and you knew then that your relationship wasn’t totally in ruins.

“This is it, Atan. Now you must choose your Ikran. If it also chooses you, move quick, like I’ve showed you. You will have one chance. I will be behind you in case you need any help. Please don’t fall off a cliff, I don’t think my heart could take it again.”

You laughed a little at his attempt of diffusing a situation. It wasn’t his best attribute.

“Ok then, let’s dance.”

Neteyam watched as you made your way through the Ikrans, and how they all flew away in fear at your sight - beautiful banshees that made him miss his own and reminisce about his own Iknimaya. You looked ready - powerful and confident, like you have always belonged here, with them. You were swinging your yìmkxa (mouth binder) and approaching each Ikran forcefully, hissing at them to hopefully provoke the right one. Eventually, a big banshee, bigger than his and most others he’s seen around, turns around to face you and does not remove itself from your path in the same way all the others had. It is a beautiful animal, white and gold with purple and pink wings and green stripes on its head, it looked different than any other in the village. Fitting, he thought. This was it.

He heard a loud hiss coming from where you were stood. The Ikran hissed back wildly and charged towards you. His heart was getting ready to exit his body at its speed and power, and he was panting in fear and anticipation, ready to jump in at any moment’s notice, in case you needed it. He saw you remove yourself quickly, skilfully, out of the animal’s way and wrap the yìmkxa around its mouth. Good, first step done.

You then took a hold of your queue and jumped on the Ikran’s back, placing your thighs around its neck and squeezing with all of your might. The Ikran wrung its neck in an attempt to escape you, but you worked on this for months preparing for this day - you were not letting go. Neteyam saw the banshee make its way towards the edge of a cliff, and you wrapped the arm that wasn’t holding the queue around its neck for more support.

Neteyam felt like he was going to pass out from the stress, and saw the next moments happen in slow motion, just like almost 7 years ago when you fell mid flight: the ikran managing to drop off the cliff, his wailing scream and immediate desire to join you, the hands of his mother and father wrapping around him keeping him in place, his own ikran dropping from a cliff at the sound of his call, him removing his parents’ hands forcefully and running towards his banshee, scrapping his arm painfully on the rock and the stabbing throb that followed, the feeling of a fresh injury and blood spilling down his arm, and yet still, no other thoughts in his mind than the need to save you, to right his past wrongs.

He makes the bond quickly and before anyone could stop him, he’s in the air, flying around the rock and beneath it, trying to see where you could be. He was shocked to find you still on your ikran, holding for dear life while the animal was flying upside down, shaking itself furiously to get rid of you. He saw you drop the arm you were using to hold on to it, only managing to hold on by the strength in your thighs, and connected the queues with a loud yell.

“STOP!” He heard you scream. “TURN AROUND, NOW!”

He couldn’t believe his eyes. You made your Tsaheylu, upside down, mid-flight. He watched as the banshee turned around and made its way back to where his family was, and he still had no words he could say to explain or describe what he was feeling in that moment. It was beyond words. He felt his arm twitching painfully and he quickly looked at it and saw the deep scratch that was leaking blood and staining his loincloth where his arm was laying.

You did it. You actually did it. This little prick came at you with all her might and you still held on to her. You learnt a lesson or two from riding a banshee as a 13 year old defenceless human, and the most important lesson was: hold on for dear life. Good to see it came in handy. You also made it a point to thank Neteyam for making you hang upside down in trees to shoot down targets, you can see now it helped. You landed at the base of the rookery and watched as every one of your family members was smiling and yelling, cheering loudly for your accomplishment. They looked so happy, and you couldn’t help shed a small tear and the sight.

These were your people, for the remainder of this short life, and you were happy you got to do this before you went. Happy you got to see them together, for you. You looked around at Neteyam and couldn’t see him, but then heard a loud, excited yelp from behind you. He looked so happy and proud, your heart swelled at the sight. This man would be the death of you, you knew. You loved him so much, and you knew it was time, time to talk through it.

“First flight seals the bond.” he screams over the noise of the banshees and the waterfall. “Let’s go.”

The entire family called for their ikrans, and in less than a minute, you were airborne. You told your banshee to fly gently and straight, and held on tightly to her neck while you tried to adjust to all these new overwhelming emotions. The feeling of flying was incredible, so much more so than you remembered. Maybe because this time you were in control. The feeling of the Tsaheylu... Lo’ak was right, it was so much stronger than the Pa’li, the connection you had with this animal. You knew you were bonded for life, shared a kinship and bond no one could break until one of you died, maybe even after. The feeling of belonging, as you watched 5 other ikran fly alongside yours and help you through your first of many adventures in the sky. You felt grateful and happy to have made it so far before the inevitable end.

You made it at the village soon after eclipse, laughing and dancing while you walked back, hand in hand with Kiri who was rolling her eyes at you but joining in anyway. Tuk was holding your other hand, and you lifted her up and carried her all the way back while she played with your braids.

As you arrived to your tent, you saw the rest of the family go into their own, with the promise you’d join after dropping all of your stuff. Neteyam stayed behind, closing his distance to you and only stopping when he was so close to you his chin was touching your forehead. It was only then you saw his arm, dried blood spilt everywhere and marring his beautiful blue stripes. His loincloth was also red, you noted, and saw the gash that was the culprit, high on his arm, still red and bleeding, although not enough to justify this much blood. It must have been bleeding for a while.

“What the hell happened to you?!” You said with a panicked voice.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

You raised and eyebrow at him and rolled you eyes, and pulled him to your tent by his uninjured arm.

“Sit. I will clean and stitch it and then we can go for dinner.”

He did as he was told, quietly sitting on the ground while you gathered supplies: some gauze, disinfectant, numbing cream, stitches and a needle driver, as well as some forceps and scissors. He squirmed at the sight, and you rolled your eyes again.

“You drive me crazy when you roll your eyes at me, you know? I would kill to be the reason your eyes roll in the back of your head at night.”

You blushed at his words, and sat next to him on the ground.

“You have to stop, Neteyam. We can’t do this again.”

You turned your focus on his wound, and began cleaning it slowly so as to not injure him further.

“I can’t stop, Atan. I can’t think of anything else. I have so much I want to say to you, so much I need to get off my chest.”

He sounded sad, desperate for you to hear him out, his eyes pleading and pained.

“How about we talk, after dinner? This time, you can be the one sneaking in my tent late at night.” you said sarcastically, not having forgotten his outburst from earlier and realising you were still angry at him for it.

“Yes, please.”

You sat in silence the rest of the time, as you worked with skilled, focused hands. You stitched his wound carefully, so as to not leave him with a scar. When you finished, you smiled up at him, and reached your hand to touch his face, moving a strand of beaded hair from it and pushing it behind his ear. He was so, so beautiful. He brought a hand to your chin and was pulling you closer, when someone entered the tent without making their presence known, making you both jolt back in shock. It was a girl. You’ve seen her before in the village, she was a healer in training. Beautiful and skilled, she was a good singer and a good craftswoman, making a lot of the clothes the Na’vi hunters wore.

“Oh, Great Mother, here you are! Your mother told me about your injury, and I had to come find you so I could help!” She kneeled down on the other side of Neteyam from where you were sitting and touched Neteyam’s chest, moving him around looking for the bleed, that was no longer there.

“Oh, it seems much better now than what was described. I guess it’s true what they say, you really are that skilled.” She turned her attention to you and smiled.

“Thank you. I don’t think we’ve properly met.”

“You’re right, my bad! I’m Tiongli. Neteyam’s mate.”

It was so quiet in the room now, you were sure they could both hear your heart break into a million pieces.

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @k----a27s

#neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam x human!reader #neteyam fanfic #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam sully #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam sully fanfiction #avatar the way of water #avatar fanfic #neteyam avatar #avatar twow #neteyam angst #neteyam smut

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allthingsfern · 3 months ago

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About my new camera

Yes, I bought a new camera, but it was not a last minute decision. Well, the camera purchase was pretty much last minute after I saw a video about the camera I chose and did some research on the Web & Youtube.

For about a year I've been wondering if I should sell my Sony a7r3 body and Sony/Zeiss Sonnar T* 55mm f/1.8 lens, which came highly recommended, including by Ken Rockwell, who I also turned to for advice about my new camera. The 55mm f/1.8 lens was highly recommended; it was one of the original set of lenses for the Sony a7 line of mirrorless cameras.

I wondered about getting rid of it because, while I enjoyed using it and got some great photos with it, my 24-105mm f/4 Sony G lens also took great photos, and it covered the 55 mm range. Granted, the 55mm produced super creamy bokeh, but the 24-105 f/4 did too, though maybe not as creamy. Maybe for me, as a vegan, the 24-105mm f/4 bokeh was (is) creamy enough?

Anyway, here is one of my favorites, taken with the 24-105mm f/4 about 6 months after I bought the a7r3. (I've owned an a7r3 for over 6 years now...)

Like butter?

Back to the new camera story. About a year ago, I saw this video about "one camera/one lens."

youtube

I also watched a video where he discussed keeping camera gear down to a useful minimum "5 Reasons to Keep Your Equipment Simple feat. Documentary Photography Daniel Milnor." His insights resonated with me because I am not a gear head. I like having one lens on each camera body and not having to fidget. I like to keep it simple.

Then, about 3 weeks ago, I watched this video.

youtube

Now, I go make photos in SF often. Every once in a while I also go to Oakland, which has, at least in the 30 years I've been in living in California, a super bad reputation. I've never felt unsafe in either city walking around with my a7r3 with the medium sized 24-105mm f/4 lens on it. Granted, I carry it in the original, small, Peak Design sling bag, which I immediately christened my Audrey Hepburn camera bag because it is so elegant, especially with the little brown leather handle on top.

BTW, I also own the Peak Design messenger bag, but I almost always use this one for my camera and use the messenger bag for when I need to carry my laptop. The 5L sling bag had a bonus: Both my a7r3s with their respective lenses attached fit in this one little bag. Tight, but they fit.

Anyway, that video about feeling safe did set me to thinking, since I am getting older and walk around alone, but it also made go back to wondering if I should carry both cameras, which I rarely do anymore.

Then Adrian Vila posted this video.

youtube

And then I found his original video, about 4 years old, about the RX100 vii.

youtube

the idea of carrying a smaller camera with a 24-200 zoom intrigued me, I did some research, including visiting Ken Rockwell's site, where he highly recommended this camera (see the review here).

I was convinced, but I knew that the camera is 5 years old (and Sony has no plans of releasing a newer model), so I looked up prices for used, and if I could find them, new cameras. I eventually just opted to get a new one and am going to sell my a7r3 with the 55mm f/1.8 lens. Interesting fact: The Sony RX100 line (7 models) all have a Zeiss Sonnar T* zoom lens. Mine has a 24-200mm f/2.8-4.5 variable lens, so I am still going to have a Zeiss lens, even after I sell my 55mm Zeiss.

Then there was the coincidence that they actually had an RX100 vii in stock at the Sacramento store. I visited the Mike's Camera Website, choosing specifically the Sacramento location (they have several locations in California and Colorado) and saw they had one for sale, so I drove last there Wednesday to buy the camera.

Funny thing is, I learned they don't usually carry the RX100 vii anymore (it is, after all, discontinued) but they happened to get a delivery of one just that day from their warehouse. (I could have ordered it and it would be delivered to the store or to my apartment.) The sales person (Colton) went to check if it was ordered by someone, but no, so the camera was mine.

I explained to Colton how when I went in to buy my first a7r3 on 12-26-17, they did have it, but I wanted the 24-105mm lens, which was just released (and in popular demand) and was told they only had one, which someone pre-ordered. However, the salesperson (Taek) checked and it turned out that person had not gone in to pick up the lens or contacted them about it, and it was sitting in the store for 6 weeks, so Taek opted to let me have it. As Colton said, I have good camera Karma.

So, yes, I am going to be using a smaller camera with a smaller sensor (1 inch) that has only 20 MP as opposed to my a7r3's 42 MP in a larger full frame sensor. However, while thinking the new camera purchase over, I thought about the awesome photos I got from my Nikon D50 with its dinky 28-80mm f/2.5-5.6 lens, and the RX100 is a huge step up.

Finally, here are 2 photos of my new camera.

OMG, my a7r3 is dusty...

Ok. That's all for now.

The adventure continues...

#Youtube

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unpopularly-opinionated · 1 month ago

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Beyond Barbie, I’ve watched a fair amount of movies since I last updated y’all against your wills. So many in fact that I’m not going to do a whole ass write up of each because that’s just a complete waste of time. Plus I write reviews on my Letterboxd page, but they’re not entirely fit for public consumption. But I’ll give like a one-sentence review/my thoughts of each, so here we go:

So for context, the last film I posted about in my last list was The First Omen.

Since then I’ve seen:

- The Omen: Keep that woman away from ledges, god dammit.

- Damien: Omen II: I don’t know if this movie came before or after the movie about the crows, but either way this movie did it better.

- Joker: I’d already seen this, but lately I’ve been tossing in some rewatches so I can keep a thorough log/review of them on Letterboxd. P.S. this one is still good.

- The Final Conflict: Omen III: A decent enough ending for its time, to a decent enough franchise for its time.

- Challengers: The single hottest, gayest soft core porno I’ve ever seen, fucking incredible.

- Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood: Went in with zero context, thought it was mid. Read up on the context. Now think it’s pretty OK.

- Idiocracy: Terry Crews as President of the United States, please and thank you.

- Saw I - VII: Progressively got better over time, ashamed to admit one brutal murder scene did kind of turn me on. I need help.

- The entire Pirates of the Caribbean franchise: Obviously a rewatch. First three are literally perfect. Fourth is when we start to see cracks, but it’s OK. Fifth is unwatchable.

- Ready or Not: Went in thinking it was meant to be horror, not a comedy. I was wrong. Pretty funny movie though. Neat premise. Adam Brody is hot.

- Signs: Shamalyan’s God sends aliens to kill hundreds of thousands of people because one man lost faith in him. Shit story. Liked Joaquin Phoenix and a young Kieran Culkin though.

- The Happening: Shamalyan’s God decides to make hundreds of thousands of people kill themselves because the worst romantic pairing in the universe won’t fuck.

- The Sixth Sense: Shamalyan continues to prove that he is a one hit wonder, and this is his hit. That being said, I haven’t cried that hard in a while upon rewatching this.

- Skinamarink: As someone plagued with waking nightmares, this movie spoke to me. It didn’t say much of anything at all, but it certainly spoke to me. Do not recommend.

- Slotherhouse: A dumb bad movie that knows it’s dumb and bad, and is really really good at being both, but in a good way, you know?

- Barbie: An alright cutesie movie so long as you’re willing to accept that it’s not based in reality.

Overall, I’ve been watching a fair amount of movies since my last post, and I plan to watch a whole lot more. Also a lot of rewatches as well I think.

#random #personal #films #movies #reviews

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blacknedsoul-blog · 10 months ago

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Random Tought of the day (VII)

So, as I continue to review my notes on rogues and knights (I love you, Lenore), I scratched the potato as to why the Deans would want to keep this pair of lovebirds apart, and came up with a rather specific delusion:

The suspicion that it's possible to escape Nevermore.

But it's the kind of shit that, even if you're someone who's really capable, it would be impossible for you to figure out, let alone pull off on your own. That's why the Deans encourage this aggressively competitive atmosphere: they tell you there's only one life, they pit students against each other in training tests, and there's a scoreboard to give a sense of hierarchy.

In this light, the fact that there are two students who are willing to cooperate because they are a couple is a problem in itself.

But Annabel and Lenore are an even bigger problem, because these two idiots are extraordinarily competent people on their own, who complement each other for a change.

And the icing on the cake: they are natural leaders.

Their methods are different, but Annabel has the ability to create strong teams that find reasons to cooperate, even if it's out of interest or fear, and she's an excellent long-term thinker. The Misfists, for their part, have a grit, a ferocity, and a loyalty to each other that is enormous; Lenore may not be a long-term player, but she is extremely cunning, opportunistic as they come, and these people would die for her if they saw the need.

Imagine for a moment if you could get Eulalie and Prospero around a table to brainstorm about how the Spectre works. If you could get Duke and Will to spy together. If Montresor and Ada would use their Spectre abilities, not to hurt you, but to help you artificially revise your memories, because after all, Eulalie and Morella are there to help you after such a traumatic experience.

Annabel and Lenore could do that. Annabel's teammates will follow her because she promises results, and the Misfists blindly trust that Lenore knows what she's doing. You'd have all those minds- each highly competent in its own right- actively searching for a way out of this place under the leadership of two people with complementary visions of how to deal with obstacles.

It would be impossible for them not to find something eventually.

And I think that's what the Deans want to avoid. Right now it's working for them, Lenore finds no reason to trust Annabel (with good reason) and Annabel is too conditioned to believe that others will betray her that she would hardly think of it.

But I wonder how this will play out and how the Deans will act when these people get out of hand.

#nevermore webtoon #annabel lee nevermore #lenore nevermore #white raven #annabel lee whitlock #lenore vandernacht #lennabel

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vinceaddams · 11 months ago

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So I know your focus is 18th century menswear, but you're the only person I can think of to ask

Why are you not supposed to button the bottom button on a suit or vest? I thought they were there for a reason? If I'm not supposed to use the bottom button, shouldn't I just cut it off and keep it as a spare in case the top button breaks off and I lose it?

I didn't actually realize that was A Thing until someone asked me about it a few years ago, and I very briefly looked it up and every google search result I saw says that it started with King Edward VII.

I have not looked for primary sources, so don't take this as fact, but apparently he gained some weight and started leaving the bottom button undone in order to be more comfortable, and everyone copied him because people are weird about royalty. This was in the first decade of the 20th century, so that's over 110 years ago now, and I think it's very stupid that it's still the standard! It should stop! This is a silly fad started by a man whose great grandchildren have died of old age, come ON*, it's time to start buttoning your waistcoats all the way down! You have my permission and encouragement as a professional tailor to fasten those bottom buttons!

Though of course, if you actually want to cut it off and use it as a spare, you could do that too.

(It's also annoying when it sneaks into costumes meant to be earlier. One of the things I complained about in my OFMD S1 costume review is that I spotted some unfastened bottom waistcoat buttons. Waistcoats were left largely unbuttoned in the early 18th century, but it was on the top half!!)

*Yes I realize this is an ironic statement coming from someone who wears 18th century style shirts every single day, but 18th century shirts are fun and nice and comfy, and very different from a silly button rule everyone follows just because they think they have to.

#ask #waistcoats #fashion #buttons

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theomeganerd · 9 months ago

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Video Game News Stories for February 25th, 2024

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth Soars to Critical Acclaim, But Questions Remain

Square Enix's highly anticipated Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, the second installment in their reimagining of the classic RPG, launched yesterday to generally positive reviews. However, the critical reception has been mixed, with some praising the game's stunning visuals, emotional storytelling, and expanded combat system, while others criticize its pacing issues and deviations from the original narrative. Regardless, the game is already a commercial success, topping sales charts worldwide.

Elden Ring DLC "Shadow of the Erdtree" Announced, Pre-orders Discounted

FromSoftware surprised fans by announcing the first DLC expansion for Elden Ring, titled "Shadow of the Erdtree." Details remain scarce, but the teaser trailer hints at new areas, enemies, and challenges. Interestingly, pre-orders for the DLC are already discounted on some platforms, sparking speculation about a potential release date in the near future.

Surprise! Dead Island 2 Launches on Xbox Game Pass

After years of development hell and numerous delays, Dead Island 2 unexpectedly launched yesterday on Xbox Game Pass. The game picks up the zombie-slaying action in Los Angeles, offering a gruesome and comedic open-world experience. While reviews are still trickling in, early impressions suggest it might be worth checking out, especially for Game Pass subscribers.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre Gets Leatherface DLC

Gun Interactive's asymmetrical multiplayer horror game, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, is getting a chilling new DLC character: Leatherface himself. This iconic slasher joins the roster of playable killers, bringing his brutal chainsaw and signature mask to the hunt. The DLC is expected to arrive in March, just in time for Halloween season... or should we say, Massacre season?

Baldur's Gate 3 Mod Support Comes to Consoles

Rejoice, console RPG fans! Larian Studios announced that Baldur's Gate 3 will be receiving mod support on PlayStation and Xbox consoles later this year. This opens up a world of possibilities for user-created content, allowing players to experience new quests, stories, and even custom classes.

Other noteworthy news:

Twitch was hit with a hefty fine by South Korea for failing to properly classify and filter gambling content.

A popular 2018 RPG is finally coming to the Nintendo Switch, with details expected soon.

A Red Bull ad cleverly reimagines the iconic Final Fantasy VII intro with a twist.

Sea of Thieves is on the verge of breaking a 39-year record for consecutive weekly content updates.

Looking ahead:

Mark your calendars! The next Nintendo Direct is rumored to be happening in March, showcasing upcoming Switch titles.

The highly anticipated open-world Pokémon game is expected to be revealed soon, potentially during the next Direct.

The debate surrounding the controversial Hogwarts Legacy continues, with both supporters and critics making their voices heard.

#elden ring #shadow of the erdtree #baulders gate 3 #the texas chainsaw massacre #dead island #dead island 2 #final fantasy #final fantasy vii #final fantasy vii rebirth #video games #gaming #gaming news #news

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silver-wield · 8 months ago

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Final Fantasy VII Rebirth Review Chapter 9!

Okay, this collection of posts will be filled with spoilers, including clips and screenshots, so if you don't wanna see things, then don't look. Some of the things I'm gonna highlight will include references to Remake and other sources to link with the overarching plot. This is a straight path playthrough with no sidequests or extra content.

Tiny amendment, I realised I accidentally combined chapter six with seven because they were both really short narratively speaking, so we're actually up to chapter 9 😁

Anyway...

Me? Gongaga 🤣

Chapter nine is meatier than Junon, and I had to get creative with the images.

So we begin the following day after Barret's showdown with Dyne and the group is driving around the desert hoping to spot a black cloak. Until Yuffie gets sick and they stop. Cait Sith decides to do a reading, which throws up a hint about mushrooms. Tifa tosses the keys to a smug Cloud and we're in the driver's seat from now on.

Destination: Gongaga.

Cloud gets deja vu looking at the local area. What's interesting is this isn't prevented by jenova and he doesn't get a headache. This is because he was in Gongaga while in a coma, so does this mean that while in his coma state jenova and Sephiroth have no influence over him?

Tifa's such a foodie and I love this about her! Also explains why Cloud brings her exotic ingredients to cook with. He really knows what she likes 🥺❤️

And we're meeting Cissnei. Now, she either did what Aerith did and saw the sword first and mistook Cloud for Zack, or she recognised Cloud as the second escaped sample and is covering up her surprise. She does tell him later to rest, so it's definitely sus.

We have convo opportunities in Gongaga too, although the one that furthers the plot and can't be missed is this one at Zack's parents house. After insulting Zack to his parents, Aerith asks if she was selfish, to which I always answer duh.

Cloud asks outright if Aerith still likes Zack, although he can't recall him still at this point. She says he never gave her a reason not to like him, then Tifa comes over and there's a bit with Cloud insulting Zack and the girls getting mad at him.

The conclusion is Cloud doesn't know Zack, but this gives Tifa more misgivings because Cloud knows about events in Nibelheim and Zack was there.

There's something going down at the reactor, so the guys head over to check it out. The more mako Cloud breathes in the less functional he becomes, which leaves them all vulnerable to Scarlet's attacks.

Meanwhile, the girls are heading in to save the day. They take on Scarlet, giving the other team time to get to a safe spot, with Barret carrying the sick Cloud over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Tifa becomes separated from the others and tries to stop Scarlet from attacking the weapon inside the reactor. She ends up swinging from her grappling gun, which panics Cloud and gets him moving to save her.

But Sephiroth's not far behind and takes control of Cloud, which results in a bloodbath of Shinra soldiers. Tifa rescues herself and rushes to Cloud's side to save him from himself.

And then comes the series of scenes from the trailers. Sephiroth manipulates Cloud into attacking Tifa in an echo of how she was almost killed in the Nibelheim reactor, only Cloud misses. For someone who was slicing and dicing with frightening accuracy a few minutes before, the fact he missed Tifa at point blank range shows part of Cloud can't be fully controlled by Sephiroth. He missed. Tifa still fell, but she wasn't hurt. Sephiroth failed.

And then weapon pops up to chow down on her. Cloud comes to and wonders where Tifa is. Last thing he recalls is going to help her. He gets a bunch of flashes that jenova tries to get between with some static, but Cloud knows what happened. And we see him break down over it.

Meanwhile, weapon takes Tifa on a tour of the lifestream. She hears her parents and friends and sees some scenes from her childhood. Specifically scenes that are important to Cloud. They're also Tifa's precious memories, and give her some important information she'll need later to save Cloud in the lifestream.

Sephiroth appears and tries to kill her again. Bit more directly this time. His blade just misses her, but it pierces the weapon and she starts drowning. She sees zangan, Dr Sheran, Barret and Aerith, and the first three give her words of encouragement to keep fighting to live. Aerith just says her name and nothing else.

Tifa sees Cloud, but he's leaving her to follow Sephiroth. She becomes distressed as Sephiroth taunts her that her words can't reach Cloud now, but we know those two have always communicated best without words 🤭

The injured weapon reappears in the reactor. Barret slaps some sense into Cloud and tells him Tifa needs him. This gets him out of his stupor to go to Tifa's side and check on her as she loses consciousness.

When Tifa wakes up we see a guilt ridden Cloud about to rush off and let everyone know she's okay, but Tifa stops him and they have a heart to heart about the past and that fateful trip up Mt Nibel. Tifa admits she doesn't remember everything that happened, and Cloud regrets not being able to save her. He finally confides in her that he feels like he's losing it and Tifa promises to save him like he saved her.

They almost kiss, but Yuffie opens her fat mouth and interrupts.

This is a non-optional moment between them. Even if you chose the worst options in convos and ignored Tifa completely, they will almost kiss.

Tifa goes into the living area and there's some chat about the planet and what to do next, which ends in a decision to hit up Cosmo Canyon.

A lot happens in this chapter. Like plot heavy serious things that shouldn't be ignored at all.

Cloud has deja vu about Gongaga.

Tifa learns Cloud doesn't know/remember Zack, and grows more concerned.

Sephiroth forces Cloud to overdose on mako gas in the reactor in an attempt to take control of him.

Cloud doesn't harm Tifa despite being Sephiroth's puppet, meaning he doesn't have total control over him when it comes to Tifa.

Tifa learns about the important memories of her and Cloud's past, and that the planet is currently winning against Sephiroth from her pov

Cloud and Tifa share mutual attraction and chemistry that results in an almost kiss

Cloud and Tifa confide in each other and their relationship deepens.

#FF7Rebirth spoilers

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sixthwater · 2 years ago

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Hello everyone! The year is finally coming to a close. I hope everyone is being safe during the holidays and you're feeling loved and cared for. Today we are going to do a rewind and see what this year has been like for you, what you've learned, what you've overcome, and who you are now at the end of it all.

(Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)

Decks Used: The Rider-Waite, Modern Witch, Tarot Familiars, Woodland Wardens, Abandoned Oracle, Seed & Sickle, Astrological Oracle

Disclaimer | Pinned | Paid Readings

Please don’t silently engage! You can support my work the best by either leaving feedback or reblogging

Pile One

2022 Review: The Lovers Rx, VII of Cups, Wheel of Fortune (II of Cups, V of Swords Rx, IV of Cups)

Through the year you might have felt somewhat clumsy, possibly nearing the end of it, as well as starting to clam up somewhat. Some of the cards didn’t want to come out and when they did, I struggled to catch them or I seemed to have butter fingers for no reason, like a little bit of anxious energy. There was a loss of either a partner for some, and for others it was a friend or a social circle. The partner feels more loose, like it was an idea or you both were never fully labeled before it fell apart. As for the friend group, there could be a few things here. Either an issue caused some discomfort so you left or you ended up being cast out from this group, you never could really feel comfortable with the friends that you sought out, or it was finally time to shed an old circle you’ve been hanging on to for sentimental or security reasons. Overall there’s a feeling of an idealized relationship that got shattered (Unwanted by Avril Lavigne is playing). Throughout the year you may have gotten opportunities to meet other people or get involved with other events that could lead to relationships that aligned with you but you were still recovering from this former blow, or you were so focused on what you wanted in the first place, that you saw the first con and you would rather miss out on it completely. There was a bit of pickiness and stubbornness when the Seven of Cups was being pulled with it’s clarifier so it felt very much like the “take it or leave it” energy. Hopes & Dreams by Caskets is playing now, it feels like a very muted Tower moment, more like things being ripped from you but it’s not like they weren’t meant for you, but it’s the theme of people coming into your life to teach you things and sometimes aren’t meant to stay forever.

Who Are You Now: IX of Swords Rx, The Tower, The Moon, The Vulture and Asphodel Rx, The Cat and Lavender Rx

Currently you’re attempting to be in recovery mode, but there are small episodes where something will trigger a memory or emotion, resulting in you being pissed or depressed over what happened. Which is completely normal, it’s healthier to feel these things out instead of pushing them down since it only makes it worse. There’s a bit of fear and pain in your mental state right now. You are shutting yourself off from truly opening up to new people. You may be interacting with others but you’re not letting them get to know you. There’s a rabbit on The Moon card and you know how they react to people even if they’re yards away from them? That’s how it feels. The Tower has an Owl on it so you’re also taking this as a lesson learned, but right now it feels a bit more of you protecting yourself too much so that absolutely nothing can hurt you. You might have had a delayed reaction to these events or it’s dragging along as you’re trying to focus on better days, but the shadows are still following you very closely. It’s absolutely normal to be filled with anger, grief, fear, and emptiness over these events for a good amount of time, but do not forget to reach out to someone. If you still have other close friends, once you’re comfortable, see if you can work something out to be introduced to a new friend group or people in small doses. Hang out with family if you have good relations with them. If you have good weather where you are, go see if there’s anything free to do in your neighborhood; it’s a good way to get out and ‘engage’ with people but at your own comfort while doing something you’d want to do. The main goal here is to remind yourself that you aren’t the problem, the world isn’t scary, and you can recover from this. You are someone worthy of loving and it’s okay to let people in again, in due time.

What Have You Overcome: The Kiss Rx

Repetition of what I said in the first section lol. The card shows a mummy pecking a lady’s hand, therefore spreading germs and causing issues. In reverse this means cleansing and purification. So while this clearly wasn’t done on purpose, you basically had some spring cleaning done to make way for better people to come into your life. Frequency by iyla is playing right now. When you recover, having a review of how this relationship would or has affected your life might have you feeling pretty okay that it worked it’s magic and you both went different ways.

What Have You Learned: Moonwort Rx, Rose, Jupiter, Pisces

Are you guys creative or really need to express yourselves in some way? I know that’s a basic human quality but all this circles back into each other. It might be a bit different in particular for some of you but there’s a main message of learning about yourself and what you really need, going within yourself, and taking your emotions to turn it into a creation of some kind. Whether that’s to fuel your motivation to finish menial tasks at work or actual art, you’re taking this grief and trying to not just let it be grief. That’s not what you want it to be. This section gave me the first happy song which is about enjoying your earnings and celebrating in the most obnoxious way possible the good ol LMFAO way (who also had a falling out). This falling out or loss made you look inwards and realize what you wanted, maybe to a perfectionist degree, but you don’t want ‘scraps’ so to say. It may have helped figure out a hobby you enjoy for some that helped you take your mind off things. Overall there’s a lesson of inner recognition, treating yourself in a nurturing way and not letting yourself be still, but not to a harmful degree.

Pile Two

2022 Review: X of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, Knight of Pentacles (The Star, Page of Cups Rx, IV of Wands Rx)

This year might have been very slow paced for some or most of you. Maybe not literally, but it felt very heavy or like it dragged on when you wanted it to be over – like tasks or chores never stopped coming. It also feels like either a year focused on Saturn or like a fourth house profection year but that’s getting pretty specific. Either way, it was focused on family: looking into your ancestry, healing relationships with some, figuring out your identity, or being able to be near loved ones to heal a part of you. There’s a specific feeling of looking into your family tree and asking your family about your lineage to help work through who you are, so take that if it resonates. Overall, it’s that moments or times spent with loved ones helped clear up inner issues. Doesn’t have to be physical either, I don’t see many swords but it can also just be phone conversations as well. It reminds me of get-togethers during the holidays with large family gatherings that include extended relatives (I am doing this right before Christmas). For those that have a test relationship, it feels like over the year it was a slow path to working through things to getting that joyous relationship that you wanted to have. Both things are paired with coming into yourself and figuring out who you want to be seen as. Sometimes you feel a little naive or sensitive, or you can react to outside stimuli in that way. You’re working towards being a more confident and whole self as you work through these problems either from childhood or just issues related to family in general.

Who Are You Now: Ace of Swords, The Star Rx, Knight of Cups, The Qual and Gooseberry, The Otter and Cattail Rx

Hmm you’re entering a new phase of your life but you don’t think you can handle it — for some of you if not most. Oh God by MOTHICA is playing but it’s the anxiety that I’m picking up on. That feeling of getting in front of the door or taking the plunge but while you’re jumping you start getting in your head and you want to take it all back. You have learned a lot over the past year; whether that’s about yourself, your family, or about life in general. You’ve had a lot of breakthroughs and you’re sharper than you started the year off, and that Page turned into a Knight. You’re being a bit easier on yourself and you have a better grasp on your emotional world than when you started the year off. It’s like when you’re getting used to riding a bike and you have to figure out the balance and speed so you can ride it — you’re getting the gist of it now. However the interesting thing here is that with The Star and the Knight of Cups, there’s three animals on each card. In The Star, only one of the cats is looking towards us whilst in the KoC all three owls hold piercing stares and they’ve huddled together now. For some this could represent two other people you’ve grown closer to throughout the year and there’s a protective energy or reliance that’s sprouted. For others this is a sign of you starting off feeling slightly on edge and becoming increasingly anxious as the year ends for whatever this incoming event is. You feel like you can’t handle the change but you’ve gained experience for a reason; learn to trust yourself because you can do it, relax just a bit and get out of your head because all that over-thinking might actually be the cause of your undoing.

What Have You Overcome: The Asylum Rx, The Shadow Rx

I tried to only take one for this section but they wanted me to take two lol. So yeah, a lot of looking within this year, which wasn’t pleasant. This reminds me of when people usually get told they’re just not trying hard enough since the rest of the family is ‘just fine’, only to find out that they Are in fact neurodivergent. It could also be years of being gaslit only to find out that you weren’t making everything up after all and someone finally remembered your story or you were able to find evidence of what you were talking about. This combination speaks to searching for answers about issues relating to yourself so you can find peace and I hope you’ve at least found the beginning of it. These problems are a part of you, yes, but they do not make up your entire identity.

What Have You Learned: Ivy Rx, Buttercup Rx, Uranus, Sol

I think these are lessons you’re currently in the process of working through or you just came out of. It’s all about working with the universe and letting them hand you your rewards when they know it’s right for you. They’re bringing back that anxious and nervous energy that was spoken of earlier, but these cards are laid in the resting position, so it’s more a lesson of waiting and receiving instead of going out to get it. Also wanting to rest your mind, again. We don’t (and probably never will) understand what the universe has for us, especially how our guides work. They deliver messages to us in ways that we understand, but we aren’t always receptive, especially if it’s not what we want to hear at that moment. So for you, it’s about coming to terms with just…being chill with it’s erratic and unusual nature of it all. There’s also a bit of being okay with not being okay. Not fitting — I’m sorry there is so much ruckus going on outside while I’m writing this piece and it’s so annoying but I can’t help but feel like this fits Right in with your energy / your pile. Anyway, not fitting the bill of what would be considered “a regular Joe”, and that’s okay. Owning who you are, flaws and all, is something that you’ve learned or will learn by the middle of January I feel? Good shit. Give a quick listen to feelings are fatal by mxmtoon if you want to!

Pile Three

2022 Review: V of Cups, The Hierophant Rx, The Devil (IX of Pentacles, King of Wands Rx, Wheel of Fortune)

Okay, I had to pull one more card in general because I felt like this message was way too specific for a general pick a card, but I got the Queen of Swords. I will go through the louder message first and then pick up all the smaller ones that shot through. Loudest message: I’m getting that someone you liked has become committed to someone else, and alternatively for others it’s someone that won’t fully commit or leave your life? Okay, Burn by BANKS…As I was saying, there’s this hot and cold energy for some which is rubbing you the wrong way. For others, you have to swallow a bitter pill, possibly because you have to constantly see or interact with this person. Now for the other messages, I can see someone getting distracted by new minor obsessions or addictions. Nothing intense, maybe like gacha games or pacs or kpop or stuff like that. It got to the point though of possibly interfering with your work and you got in trouble for it. It might have caused someone to keep watch on you, a loss of a possible promotion, or not getting that raise you really wanted — but it could’ve been way worse is what I keep getting for some reason. For some it’s an arranged love situation?? God for a Day by Art of Dying is playing. I’m getting a bit blocked from picking up the entire message, which I’m not surprised because it feels a bit sensitive and personal right now. For both groups this Devil energy is the strongest because that’s causing the focus on the three fallen cups. There’s nothing wrong with grieving but it might be blocking any action you can be taking to fight back or help yourself. This pile is a straight mixed bag.

Who Are You Now: King of Wands Rx, Ace of Wands Rx, Six of Swords Rx, The Raccoon and Sycamore, The Lizard and Pitcher Plant

Bulletproof by Kerli. There’s a big feeling of ‘what-ifs’ and being very…dull. It reminds me of The Star in reverse. The King of Wands in reverse usually is someone very obnoxious and way too proud but with this imagery it gives off the feeling of someone imagining that persona and gives a more watery feeling. There’s not much action being taken and the cat is listlessly staring into this flame slumped over. There’s a lot of daydreaming, not a lot of action or inspiration — as well as a lack of faith either in themselves or the world around them currently for their actions to really take them anywhere. The energy is within you to go somewhere and do big things and be grand but it’s like you’re waiting for a faux perfect chance to do something or you always turn around at the last minute. There’s an inkling of wonder that keeps making you take that left turn to wonder down new paths before turning back though and you should follow through! Like B.I.T.C.H. by Megan is playing lmao I know it’s in you. There’s a lot of “what am I even doing” going on, and a little bit of beating yourself up too. Trust that you can always start over and survive the transitional period with little discomfort as long as you take care of yourself.

What Have You Overcome: The Viewing Rx

Getting clear answers. There’s a lot of signs of someone else holding the power of you, regardless of what group you belonged to within this reading, and at some point within the year, you were able to overcome that and come back to yourself. You either cut relationships loose that were dragging you around, started incorporating morning mantras that made you feel better, or just had a routine that kept your boundaries strong and clear. Good. You have strong energy that gives way for people that they love and it shouldn’t be messed with lightly.

What Have You Learned: Aconite Rx, Daisy, Leo, Gemini

Rest and Creation. Putting your energy into things that are worth your time and energy. I don’t know why but I’m getting the message of also just. Being like everyone else. There’s a big fuss about being unique and having a curated feed and everything, but with Daisy and Gemini, there’s a lot of repeated imagery. No longer fighting for attention and changing things about you so people take interest in you. Especially with the Leo card here. If people don’t enjoy you for who you are, then it’s better that way. Soaking up all the praise and compliments that come your way and diving into a colorful and creative mindspace. This is a really good energy in this section, I’m happy for you guys. I hope you have a beautiful 2023.

Pile Four

2022 Review: IX of Wands, Judgement, VII of Wands (The Hermit Rx, Knight of Swords, VII of Swords)

Something new is (or was) trying to start in your life and you were really not feeling it. Not many other people know though at least. This could be physical like moving, starting college, a new job, etc. Or this could be like a spiritual journey that knocked you on your ass without warning. I’m feeling like it’s more physical though, because of the knight. I’m not really feeling you being in your head a lot, maybe more like you’re comfortable where you are and yeah something new is cool but you’re familiar with what you’re doing. So putting on a brave front or just going along with things is smoothening out the tension around you but it is definitely not the truth. It could also be the concept of ‘well if I fake it I’ll make it right’. Reminds me of the movie called Accepted about that kid faking his entire college career. For some you might’ve tried to find ways out of it and eventually gave up but for the majority it’s just: smile and nod. That’s pretty much it, it’s kind of straight forward haha.

Who Are You Now: Queen of Pentacles Rx, II of Swords Rx, Ace of Swords

You need a gentle roasting from some friends. An active delay in making a decision has made more self-doubt and fear bubble up inside you. It’s also caused a bad game of ‘little white lies’ to tangle up into a rubber band ball. It’s not like you don’t have the clarity or capabilities to make a good choice for yourself but there’s a fear that it won’t work out and you want to go back to where it’s safe. There’s a strong feeling of wanting to be tucked in and coddled — not literally but like, being safe in your house when it’s a bad winter storm outside. The changes are the winter storm whilst your house is everything you’re okay with. You don’t have much trust in your decision making even though you’ve displayed exceptional choices before. You’re being called to rely on things that can’t see and that’s what’s bugging you. You can’t jump into a time machine and see what choice works out the best but that’s life. Sometimes we’re called to live through uncomfortable times because it leads us to experience lessons that we need to learn, and I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t believe that you could make this next step wisely.

What Have You Overcome: Blessings

You are the only pile that got something upright and it’s actually a good card lol. There’s definitely a piece pointing to you trusting your inner gut or your intuition this year, I mean you wouldn’t be here reading this otherwise. You definitely come off as someone who relies more on practical things or you prefer to not get too caught up in divination. However this year might’ve been a bit difficult since you had to heavily rely on messages and guidance that wasn’t so direct and obvious. That can be extremely difficult and honestly quite annoying so I’m proud of you.

What Have You Learned: Mandrake, Basil, Mercurius, Libra

Oh I’m LOSING my mind: “You’re due to set out on a journey, be it physical or spiritual, so be ready for a change in your life” ????? HELLO? Well if it’s spiritual hello welcome to my blog lol. For those with the physical journey, you have or will be handling it with grace. There’s a lot of neutralistic energy but it’s very passionate underneath the surface. Once you get going, there’s a lot of communication and wanting to interact with people to gain your bearings and gain a new sense of home. You will be guided safely on this journey and your guides are working very silently in the background to make sure you just so happen to catch the right deals to make this transition pretty easy. For those with the spiritual journey, you’re being watched over. I can see you wanting to learn. Like a lot. I can still see you wanting to keep one foot grounded ‘in reality’ though no matter what because it just makes you feel better? Just know that your guides are so heavily with you it’s really cute whenever I get these messages. Like they want to make sure both you and me know that they’re very present and have you covered and protected no matter what so please don’t think you’re alone. If there’s anything personal to you like butterflies or a number or like some old TV show or smth, guides will usually try and send you messages with those or in a particular way that only you would usually recognize. There’s a heavy excited energy here it’s very cute and I hope you guys don’t get hurt on either journey. I’m wishing you the best!!

#pick a card #pick a card reading #pac #tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr #mysticalcreations #happy holidays everyone!#be safe and take care!!!

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rottenfleshnbones · 3 months ago

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saw vii / 3d review on letterboxd (2/5 stars)

what to say? like, dude, this was ok— as much as the franchise allows, i mean. anywayzz, let's get it started.

one of my biggest icks was that gibson guy. look, he came from nowhere. just some guy hoffman wanted revenge? yeah, that wasn't good. but oh well, they had to add this random guy because the oh, so all mighty hoffman managed to kill every fucking one. which is, honestly, another of my critics. are you telling me hoffman really killed all those people like that? easy peasy? no shit. for suuure he was the only person skilled enough in the police department or fbi, yes, indeed. bullshit!!

there are many other reasons to complain but meh, let's jump to the good parts. i fucking loved the final, as always, but this one was specially great — fuck hoffman, we love to see a blond bitch winning in life!! i gotta admit, i never really saw the great appeal in the main guys in the 1st film (adam and lawrence), still not really doing, but now i kind of see lawrence in a different light, that was a great timing for him to appear, plus it's great to see one of jigsaw's apprentices who didn't really go apeshit, it seems.

the ending was abrupt, kind of rushed, too, and that kind of sucked ass. don't think i'd watch this one specifically again, but also wouldn't mind if i saw it on tv or if i was, although unlikely, binging the series. but yeah, we had a nice change of scenarios, i like that a lot, and that's it.

UPDATE: minutes later, i just found out that was really the final chapter. what the fuck!! the whole movie sounded more like a fanfic, sheesh. terrible, terrible!! it's kind of sad because saw vi was actually good, so you kind of expected everyone to keep improving, not falling of that hard.

#ecko.saw.etc

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saintofdaggers · 7 months ago

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5, 7, 11 for the Saw ask game

5. A character you wish could have lived - most of the major characters who die in Saw get what I consider perfect endings to their arcs, so I won't say Adam or Strahm (I love them dearly, but their deaths have so much meaning in the narrative) but God am I still mad about Lindsey. she had so much potential and got so little screentime, and they brought her back in VI just to fridge her even more brutally than the first time in Saw IV. in the good timeline, Saw 3D would have ended with her kicking Hoffman's ass.

7. Do you have any ships? - please lmfao Hoffstrahm lives in my head rent free despite my increasingly aggressive eviction attempts. I also love Chainshipping (of course) and Lynnmanda (of course) and I'm starting to become very partial to Kerrez. I also wrote a tiny Pintshipping fic once, but I enjoy reading their dynamic in a platonic way as well as a romantic one.

11. Thoughts on Saw VII - a mix of hilariously stupid and frustratingly toxic, it would be a very fun bad movie if the misogyny and the unbearable protagonist didn't drag it down so much. also, it's Hoffman's sexiest look and he's barely even in the movie. to quote myself from my Letterboxd review for this movie: The Final Chapter decided to go out with a bang… the sound of my forehead hitting my desk.

#inbox #sawposting #thank you <3

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theadventurerslog · 2 years ago

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King's Quest Wrap Up

Here we are. I've finished King's Quest 1-7, which I would consider the main series as Mask of Eternity is so different and I won't be playing it. It's been a great ride that I wasn't even originally intending to do, but I'm glad I did. Sitting here writing this post is a bit more bittersweet than I expected.

This whole blog idea came about because of King's Quest. I went from just watching them played (Thank you SuchMinutiae!) to thinking it'd be fun to try at least V and VI to wondering about the idea of logging them as a textual let's play, which led to doing them all. And now I've played them all and they get to be the first games and first complete series done here.

I mentioned there were a lot of classics I was missing and that Sierra games were a big hole in my history entirely. Not only did I have that total gap, but it was one that didn't come with the best reputation. Basically my association with Sierra was hard obtuse games in which you die at the drop of a hat. Which, okay, especially in the case of the older games that is true, but it's not the whole picture. I can only speak for King's Quest right now, but that misses the fun adventure of them and the evolution the series went through and that VII dropped the cruelty and had no dead ends and deaths were harmless with instant retries.

It misses what I can only imagine the feeling was back then of setting out into what would have felt like a big world and going on this big adventure. It misses the charm and goofiness that crops up. The portrayal misses the fun (and sometimes frustration) of goofing around with the text parser in the first four games. It misses the evolution of not just the mechanics and graphics, but also the story telling and how they start to connect more with each other into a bigger whole. I'm going on a bit of a rant here, but if I had continued with only that original outlook on them and a couple of stray reviews I one time saw while looking briefly into the games quite some time ago--can't recall exactly why, it may have been when that episodic King's Quest game by another company came out--and those reviews also really highlighted difficulty and not too much else I would have passed on an experience I really enjoyed.

Now, I will freely admit my opinion would probably be a bit different if I had gone in blind, or just with the knowledge to save a lot and keep lots of saves. That last point is a big one and would spare some anguish. I definitely would have gotten more stuck on points far more often and probably dead-ended myself at other points and had to rely on past saves more. But I'm also not too proud to poke at hints or check for bits in guides, so I still could have gotten through, but there would have been some more frustration colouring my views. Not to say there wasn't any frustration because there sure was at points, beanstalks and stairs and dark dark caves with trolls, oh my. Still, my point still stands that I could have so easily been continuing to be swayed away from ever giving these a shot and missed out.

I also think it's great to visit or revisit some old games now and then. Not just to see how far things have come, but to experience what things were like. It was still so new as a medium, still is relatively speaking, and devs were still learning and trying stuff and experimenting and there's a very wild west feel to it. And it's just... this is what they knew, this what they had to work with in regards to the tech and it's...cool. And being reminded how much and fast things were changing like the jump from KQ IV to V. It was a lot! I just think it's nice to be reminded sometimes. Games have moved so quickly it can be easy to forget.

It was also nice to have a reminder of my own...outlook I guess? on graphics in a tangible way. I'm not someone who needs or cares about high-end top of the line graphics anyway, but the ability to get into the game and meet it on its level struck me particularly in a couple spots in III and IV where I found myself having the exact same reaction to things I'd have to the same kind of things in a modern game. Those things being a couple waterfalls spots in III ("ooo! waterfall!" Screencap!) and Genesta's island and the path going up the mountain to Lolotte's area in IV. More ooo, pretty, or ooo cool moments. These early four games are older than I am and primitive by today's standards and it's just...nice to know I can still have these little wow moments anyway.

I've gone off on some tangents here, so back to the individual games themselves. As for each game, the obvious thing to do in an end post like this would be to rank them, but I am terrible at ranking things. If you want to send me into a spiral of dithering and second-guessing myself, make me rank things. Instead I will just say that VI is my favourite and I have no idea after that. I am going to give my last thoughts on each and heck maybe some kind of preference or order will emerge. Still not ranking them though.

King's Quest I: Quest for the Crown

The beginning! There's always something exciting about a new start, certainly so when you know it continues into a series. It's very simple: find the three missing treasures of Daventry and become king. Really nothing deep here, but it's a short enjoyable romp through a mishmash of fairy tale things and sometimes there's comfort in simplicity. Less comfort in falling repeatedly off a beanstalk; I might still be bitter.

Not a lot to say about it really, but a solid enough start.

I'm looking forward to revisiting it sometime through the SCI remake.

King's Quest II: Romancing the Throne

I looked back at my final notes for the game and while my points are still true I feel like I had a more negative slant on them than I do now. As I've been thinking about these games off and on while playing I've had a growing fondness for II. Yeah, its plot is thin: Graham wants wife, girl trapped in tower by evil witch for some reason, rescue girl, get married. And don't go here for cohesive world building, but it was fun. It did feel like a grab bag of ideas tossed together into a game, but that ended up being what made it entertaining in not knowing what it's gonna throw at you next.

What IS grandma's deal with the wolf and Dracula, and oh yeah, Dracula. Antique shop in the middle of nowhere, the owner of which seems to have some kind of feud with the witch? Why not? Merfolk? Sure! Its stairs weren't as bad yet either.

I've found its ridiculousness is where the fun was for me and my fondness for it has grown.

King's Quest III: To Heir is Human

This game was important for setting out foundations for everything to come: introducing Alexander and Rosella, the existence of Manannan which was used for plot with Mordack for V which also included Cassima to get us the plot of VI, etc. It's where the chain of continuity felt like it really began.

That said I said it was a mixed bag and that hasn't changed. The beginning is fun with the spells and all the thing you can have happen with Manannan which I didn't get much of in my playthrough and I regret that. The spells themselves are fun and the game did get more complex than the previous two.

But that second chunk hits on tedium and frustrations and is just plain not as fun or interesting as the first part. If I were to rank the games, and I'm not, but IF I were I'd really struggle with this one and wish I could put one part in one place and the other part in a different lower place.

One other note: now we don't get a ton of Alexander's personality in III really, just by nature of these older games and he's a little older in VI and of course free of Manannan, but I do have a little trouble reconciling them as the same character. Like, for example, there's a point early when you get the fur from Manannan's cat and he snickers about it and calls it a stupid cat and I just cannot picture VI Alexander ever saying that. Of course I doubt they had any inkling of what VI would be like if it were to ever exist, just something I noticed.

King's Quest IV: The Perils of Rosella

Like KQ III I still feel this one is a mixed bag but its low points are lower still than the low points of III and it really leaves me conflicted because there are plenty of things I like but so much ugh at some of the bullshit. The whale, the bridle, the dark cave with the troll, some really awful stairs, it got to be a lot sometimes.

But then it was nice to have Rosella as the protagonist and it was nice to have a more present villain and with Edgar it gave them some material to pull from for later. There were still fun moments and some just really nice spots like the exterior of Genesta's home with her gardens. When I wasn't in the really annoying spots I was enjoying myself as much as the previous games but those blemishes cast long shadows.

It also felt a little more sombre overall, which makes sense under the circumstances, but something I noticed.

King's Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder

"We're the aaants led by King Antony..." Ahem. V was my originally planned first game then when I realized it was bundled with IV and VI that maaaybe I should start with IV, which oof, glad I didn't, but then I started from the beginning.

That said I was looking forward to getting to V and I quite enjoyed it. That beautiful art. The voice acting is pretty bad, but I find it weirdly endearing. There's some really charming moments.

There's also a ton of bullshit and a long list of ways to softlock yourself, which should annoy me more on principle, but I think the difference between it and IV is that in this one's case the problems come from things that you can miss rather than frustration coming by the actual act of playing through the annoying trial and error parts like the whale and the cave with the added 'joy' of RNG. And since I knew what to look out for I could avoid the problems whereas I was stuck in it in IV.

Anyway, the connectivity really started to come into fruition here too making use of the events of III while building up to VI. ...Still cranky about Graham's attitude about Alexander at the end and everyone ignoring poor dead Cedric at first.

Other than that it's just so cheesily charming to me.

King's Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow

Much like my final thoughts in the last post for the game I'm wondering what more I can say. It's my favourite of the series. It's still so pretty. I really like Alexander as a protagonist. He's so earnest. I like Cassima for what we do get of her though I want more.

I love how much there is to interact with and just the sheer amount of descriptive text with some great humour in there. The premise is hinged on some real flimsy love at first sight, but it's wrapped up in such a good package I can't complain much. There are a lot of fun and charming bits and some just cool chunks too like the stuff in the Realm of the Dead. Having two different routes to two endings is neat as well.

Also, "Girl in the toooower!"

King's Quest VII: The Princeless Bride

This one's a little harder to talk about again since I did just finish it so it hasn't had the same time to sit in the back of my mind like the others. It was a departure in a lot of ways from the rest of the games but then again, V and VI were a departure in some ways from the first four as well. It was still a fun different flavour without feeling like it was something else entirely I think might be my best way of putting it. And it was a fun change of pace to be alternating between two protagonists.

And despite its differences it still clung to its roots of fairy tales and the Daventry royals and of course made use of the events of IV. It was also still a point and click unlike a certain other unplayed entry of the series.

It was more comedic and exaggerated and there were some points that were running the fine line of grating for me but never enough to be off-putting.

I wasn't quite sure how I'd feel about it before playing, but I did enjoy more it than I initially feared.

I kind of think of the series in three phases which further doesn't help with any attempts at ranking either. There's 1-4, 5-6 and 7. Seeing that kind of progression is another fun thing about going through a series from beginning to end though. Does a ranking emerge from the above notes? VI is high and IV is low. 5 and 7 are probably higher than 1-4 but trying to decide between 5 and 7 and trying to order 1-4 I just don't know. I enjoyed my time with all and that's what really matters in the end.

Various Stats and Other Rankings

I've got them anyway, so I may as well gather them into one place!

Final Points

King's Quest 1: 154/158

King's Quest II: 185/185

King's Quest III: 202/210

King's Quest IV: 230/230

King's Quest V: 260/260

King's Quest VI: 225/231

King's Quest VII: N/A

I only got max points in the half the applicable games. Clearly another reason to replay some of these.

Death/Game over Counts:

King's Quest I: 58

King's Quest II: 17

King's Quest III: 63

King's Quest IV: 86

King's Quest V: 59

King's Quest VI: 29

King's Quest VII: 42

Feeling some KQIV trauma looking at these counts all over again. I wound up with a higher count that I expected in VII too; it started low then Ooga Booga happened...

Death Rankings!

I was given the idea to rank deaths so here are some death awards!

Most Deaths: King's Quest IV. Some awful stairs among other things.

Most Maddening: Any stairs or stair-like things. Stair cases in IV and the bean stalk in I drove me nuts. Aside from stairs, the troll in the dark in IV. Once he's there, there's no escape and he's completely random.

Most Expected: Eat these nightshade berries says the golden eyed 'grandma'. What could go wrong. This being hasn't already tried to lead you to your death on more than one occasion before and isn't remotely suspicious now. Alexander, please.

Most Unexpected: This is a bit trickier as I wasn't playing blind. Possibly the rock in KQ I that you push. You have to push it to get a dagger, but if you push it from the wrong side you're squished and there's not really indication of it being on a slope or anything, so... squish. I feel like I'm probably missing some obvious contenders.

Most Tempting: Tree deaths in KQ IV. The tree puns! And failing the spells in III. Gotta see the results. Oh! And not a death but game over, actually this might be the most tempting, but getting turned into a beast in VI. How could you not want to let that run its course and see it? "Whee whee!!!"

Look at him!

Funniest: Possibly getting punched out by the bear in V. It's so ridiculous looking and abrupt.

Most Brutal: I've got three here: two deaths in VI and one in VII. The death by spiked ceiling in the catacombs and the death by fire with the druids. They're both drawn out and the way it all plays out is just yikes. They both had me flinching back into my chair. Then in VII we had Rosella and/or Valanice getting dragged in by the skeletons over the Boogeyman's home. And just the sound and the animation, oh the animation. It was another yikes moment for me.

Final Final Thoughts

As I try to figure out how to end this ramble. I suppose I will end this with the relatively simple question of would I recommend these?

VI and VII? Yes, particularly VII if someone wants a friendly point and click as VI still has softlocks and the need to save a lot for those deaths

V - with some caveats

I-IV - only to people genuinely interested in exploring the old stuff and willing to tolerate the BS and possible frustrations of a text parser (though I still think the text parser has its own fun)

Was the experience worthwhile for me? Absolutely. Will I replay these games or at least some of them? For sure. I have the SCI remake of I waiting for me and I'll definitely be playing VI again. I think I'll be able to add it to my comfort food rotation. I also, despite my complaining, want to give III another go sometime because I missed too much fun stuff at the start. Honestly I could see doing another run-through of the whole series for myself in the future, maaaybe skipping IV but also maybe doing it too because it's not like I hated it.

For now the Daventry family can live happily ever after until I restart the timeline and force them through all this again.

Once again, thank you for joining me and reading all this.

#king's quest #adventure games #notebook #series wrap-up

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