#saves him the guilt at least
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anomaly-vee · 9 months ago
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HOLY SHIT. TORBEK DOESN’T EVEN REMEMBER AGDEN. OH MY GOD.
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skunkes · 1 month ago
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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aroacettorney · 11 months ago
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we talked a lot about how the incidents in delica absolutely broke ludger, but tbh, casey didnt come out of it unscathed either.
imagine how lonely you must have been to willingly travel to such a distant land just to see someone who was potentially like/similar to you. and when you thought you finally got a best friend who could understand you in a way that no one else could, they turned out to be something you would absolutely abhor with your entire existence. they gave no explanations. they bothered not with excuses. there wasnt even enough time for you to grieve what you just lost because they forced your hands to fight them in a death battle. without a word, they just simply vanished as if your friendship in the past few months meant absolutely nothing to them and you were left alone again, trying to navigate when and what went wrong all by yourself. there was a mix of burning hatred, betrayal, and sadness inside you, but there was no longer anyone for you to talk about it — no one that could understand it. you endured all those feelings for three years with no one to share while chasing after your old-best-friend-now-turned-archenemy for answers because they never gave you the closure you deserved.
even when you finally learned the truth, you realised that they had never trusted you nor your abilities enough to even consider working together. rather, they took on the most extreme measure and didnt hesitate to make you their biggest enemy all the while keeping all their troubles and pains to themselves. best friends, friends, friendly acquaintances, private detective and their client — it turned out that your relationship was neither of them. was it truly your one-sided assumption after all? or perhaps, was it because you failed them when you could have known better and done better? still wanting to keep believing that your companionship was once real, your guilt started gnawing on your conscience. not only you couldnt save them, but your inadequateness also doomed them to their worst fate possible.
then, the opportunity came. you finally mustered up all the courage to utter an apology. even though they acknowledged it, they made no intention to accept your peace offerings. they reminded, "our alliance is temporary". they stressed, "enemies are what we are destined to be". what a fool you were, trying to save a relationship that never existed. either that, or you had never truly been forgiven. they wanted nothing to do with you. they needed not saving by you. it wasnt a closure you wanted but its still a closure you got. in the end, you were left alone once more, with the knowledge of a possibility that you also might not be able to save them again this time.
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romance-rambles · 6 months ago
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godheim clarence | because it's you
On a seemingly normal day, as he's braiding your hair in the morning, your husband asks you if he should cut his hair. You try to be brave about it.
1.6k, post-clarence epilogue, misunderstandings + fluff, reader is mc, series: none
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"SHALL I CUT MY HAIR short too?"
You register your husband's words as a joke at first. Why would you not? It flows so seamlessly from your own, after all—about how he might actually thank you for freeing up his time in the mornings if you chop off your long hair.
You know full well Clarence will not.
It is not enough to prevent you from chasing after your favorite kind of high. The one where he huffs exasperatedly and tells you as much, as a lovely but faint scarlet hue spreads across his cheek. The one that leaves you with the singleminded desire to kiss him, which you waste no time in doing—because you can.
So, expecting to see a hint of mirth in his blue eyes, you roll your eyes and watch him through the vanity's mirror with an unfaltering grin.
There is none.
Instead, the mirror reflects only the almost clumsy seriousness you've come to expect in his endeavors to prove himself worthy of being your husband. It is both flattering and worrying.
And sometimes, it makes you wonder if you were too harsh on him in the early days of your time together in the void, when you demanded apology after apology from him. Then, you remember that he's the same man who catches fishes only to free them in the end—and that this is simply sort of endearing idiot he is.
It helps immensely.
"Would you like to?" you ask carefully, concealing your silent insults with a half-awkward smile.
You would not like him to.
But it is rare for Clarence to express an interest in his appearance outside of what you make of it. His most frequently worn coat is the one you once complimented him, under a brightly-lit street lamp as he wrapped his scarf around you instead. He always buys the same fragrance, and only when it runs out, with a polite explanation of My wife likes this one the most that drives most merchants mad.
The only response he's ever offered when shopping for clothes is: If you like it, I'm fine with wearing it.
Biting back a scowl, you add, "I think you'd look good with short hair."
Of course he would. Even putting aside his hairstyle when he was younger, your husband is handsome enough to pull anything off.
You are, of course, very biased—it's an accusation you've never tried to deny.
"I see." With a pleased hum, Clarence ties off your braid. "Then I'll pick out a date. Would you like to come along?"
He's careful to adjust the hair tie first, concealing any stubborn tufts hair poking through between the gaps before he reaches for your usual red ribbon. Then, with a practiced ease that comes only with years' worth of repetition, he loops it through the hair tie and twists into a proper bow.
Today, you cannot find it in yourself to admire his careful movements through the mirror.
"I'm never going to hear the end of it if I do that," you answer, shuddering a little at the thought. The people at this village are mostly kind, but a few of the louder ones tend to comment on Clarence's tendencies a bit too frequently for your liking. "You remember what happened last time, don't you?"
Your fingers traverse down the full length of your neatly-braided hair to pull it over your shoulder. Their grasp on the end of it lasts for only a second before your hand falls to the edge of your stool. Gulping, you swivel around and soon find yourself properly face to face with your husband.
He smiles faintly. "In a sense, they weren't wrong."
To properly hold onto his face, you have to scoot closer to the edge. Clarence bends down slightly, further easing the burden on your arms. Your eyes narrow fondly at him before you ruin the moment by smushing his cheeks.
"They were insulting you," you correct him, indignation fueling your flat tone. "I'd say they were very wrong."
His expression grows helpless and fond. Wrapping his hands around your own, he settles down onto the hardwood floor. In doing so, he ignores your chiding entirely; instead, he looks at you with a hint of reverence in his gaze.
"Perhaps," Clarence agrees softly. "I've heard worse."
Inhaling sharply, you press your foreheads together. When you next speak up, your tone is softer. "Do you have a cut in mind?"
"The same as it was when I was younger, I suppose," he says, sounding a bit uncertain.
You do your best approximation of a nod. You're not entirely certain what brought this on, but that won't stop you from being the most supportive wife to ever be supportive. As you squeeze his hands gently, you hope he can sense your resolve.
"Alright," you say, a bit forcefully, as you press a kiss to his forehead. "—now get off the floor. It's my turn to do your hair."
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IT'S WHEN YOU'RE CAREFULLY UNTANGLING your braid at night that you remember the conversation from that morning.
"Did you decide on a date?" you ask curiously.
Clarence hums. "I didn't get the chance to quite yet."
He's watching you from his side of the bed, both hands occupied by a book he stopped reading the moment you walked in after your nighttime routine. When you shake your hair back to normal and settle under the blankets, he wordlessly turns the lamps off, with only a flick of his hand.
Accepting his answer, you snuggle up against his chest, fully intent on going to sleep—
Except you can't.
Curiosity nags at you, offering you the same question over and over again in the hopes that you'll break. And break you do as you call out your husband's name.
You can't quite make out what his expression is, but you know he isn't asleep. It's only been a few years—just a little over a decade, to be precise—since they've reunited. Adjusting to a life within the bounds of time, you know, takes some time, especially for someone like Clarence who had seemingly outgrown the need to sleep even before he entered the nothingness.
"Clarence," you whisper, "what made you want to cut your hair?"
For a moment, he remains silent. You can hear his beating heart, and that is enough to let you know that he's flustered.
"Clarence?"
"You said I looked very handsome," he says finally. "The other day."
Upon hearing those words, your mind offers you nothing noteworthy. To you, calling your husband handsome is no different making sure your heart's intact. You think you might actually die if you don't tell him, but you haven't tested it before.
Your heart, however, is filled to the brim with affection for this man, the one you've searched nearly your entire life for.
Even if you do want to throttle him a little bit.
"You'll have to be more specific, dear," you tell him, gently touching his cheek. He's warm, you think. You're tempted to turn the lights back on. "I'm sure I say that every day. And why would that make you want to cut your hair?"
Clearing his throat, he adds, "To be more specific, you didn't say it to me necessarily. You were—" Clarence pauses, a hint of uncertainty to his next words. "—talking about my younger self."
Oh.
The gears in your head start to turn. Now, you can faintly recall the memory of you waxing poetically about the man whose image remains in use on one of the most popular and frequently sold-out stamps even now, centuries later. Mostly, you remember smiling through a comment about how carefully you must've chosen your husband—as if she hadn't pressured into picking a man other than your husband to gush about.
You would've chosen the Archmage who seemingly had no relation to your husband regardless, but it would've been nice to know ahead of time.
Because you do have eyes, Eliza. That's how you know there isn't a man alive that's more attractive than Clarence.
Still, there hadn't been any deeper meaning when you chose his younger self specifically. There'd been a stamp nearby and you'd used it as a reference, in the hopes that it would help the other ladies downplay your incredible knowledge of his features.
You're almost certain they think you're deranged.
"Clarence." You giggle, suddenly amused. "Clarence. You look very handsome today."
Clumsily, you press a loving kiss to his forehead. Then, to the mole under his eye, to the tip of his nose, to his other cheek, until finally, you kiss him on the lips. At some point, while you're busy being productive, he goes from laying on his side to laying on his back.
"What brought this on?"
He sounds bewildered. You think it's cute.
After taking a moment to compose yourself, you begin to explain. Throughout, he's mostly silent, save for the occasional acknowledgement. Still, you don't have to worry about whether he's listening or not.
Until the very end, his hands—still wrapped around you—give him away.
"I like your long hair just as much, because—" You give him another peck on the lips. "—I love you. No matter what, you're always the best-looking man in the room."
Clarence wastes no time in answering you, though he very nearly chokes on his words. "And I...you."
"Good." Feeling satisfied, you rest your head against his chest. "Do you still want to cut your hair? ...Clarence?"
"I think," he says, clearing his throat. "It's fine the way it is."
You don't try to point out why.
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andromeda-galaxy2877 · 7 months ago
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Okay this has been driving me CRAZY since I watched the movie almost two years ago so I gotta talk about this. I haven’t personally seen anyone make a post about it but I did see this in a fanfic once (I unfortunately forget the name) which just fueled the fire for how crazy this drives me, so here you go!
I know people love the idea that Leo was in the Prison Dimension longer, that maybe the dimension’s time works differently than it does on Earth. That is insanely creative and really cool to see, the Prison Dimension has so much potential to be explored but…what if it was even more plausible that Leo was in there longer? But it had nothing to do with the dimension itself or its properties?
So at the beginning of the movie, we see Future Mikey make a time gateway into the past to the day the Key got stolen, right? He stretches out his arms, and rips that hole in the fabric of time and space, and sends Casey to the past. And then, y’know, explodes, but that's besides the point.
What does Mikey do to save Leo from the Prison Dimension?
He does the exact same pose, the exact same technique. Of course this was probably just done for the parallel, but…what if Mikey can’t open regular portals?
What if that was another time gateway?
Obviously it couldn’t have been as much time as Future Mikey did, since Leo didn’t look any older. So what if he was in there for just a few extra minutes? A few extra hours? Maybe a few extra weeks, or even a few extra months?
None of them would have any idea. Only Leo would. If it were just a few extra minutes, no one would have any way of knowing. If it were a couple days or weeks, maybe Leo thought it took them awhile to actually get him out and didn’t realize it was the same day. (Sure he could’ve figured it out from the scenery after getting out, but like. He got beat up pretty bad, he could’ve been too out of it to realize)
It doesn’t really make sense to me either to have Mikey be able to make portals like Leo does. I adore Mikey, he is INSANELY powerful and I love all his crazy abilities, but Leo’s like. One thing is that he can make portals and teleport. It feels strange to me to have Mikey also have that. Like it’s cool, but at the same time it would be the EXACT same power then. 
So, in other words for all of this, oh my god I cannot wait till I’m done writing my current fanfic and can move on to the next one. 
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krizkrozapplesoz · 11 months ago
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Thinking about Cletus having some kind of survivor's guilt after the whole trilogy
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tomboyyyaoi · 1 year ago
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me and @cybersodas constructing thoughts and delusions which turned into a genuine oh fuck moment i thought i should share
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TL;DR roberto's comment about meryl and vash being "not long for this world" stuck with me as not only an obvious hint at a parallel but also some sort of foreshadowing, and that moment in episode 12 where knives almost Gets Her that maybe. maybe theres gnna be some moment where shes not so lucky and barely makes it at the cost of. maybe an arm or a leg. then casey fucking brought up tonis' arm and . and it all just. everything clicked everything fell into position for agonies to take place.
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timegears-moved · 1 year ago
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tbh i gotta take back what i said before. totk hasn't really done anything to make me care about this version of zel*nk
#bwark#don't get me wrong it's still a fine ship but i think this is just a case of me preferring their friendship#and also it's more of a criticism of this incarnation of link than a criticism of the game itself#he's just too. static. i don't like that he shows more emotion at cooking than at the actual tragedy of the plot#and i know that it's stated that he has anxiety from the pressure of the calamity but like i said he's still capable of showing emotion#but like at the wrong times. it's cute that he's happy about food but where's the shock that he was asleep for 100 years and everyone he#once loved is dead and he doesn't even have memories of them before seeking them out#or that his best friend had to suffer a millenia as a dragon for the sake of everyone#compare this to like. idk tp link's horror when ganondorf holds up midna's fused shadow and crushes it with his hand#and his relief at the end that not only is she back to her true form but is still the same mischevious midna he's known the whole game#or sksw link's pure anger at ghirahim for kidnapping zelda near the end#or ww link's visible guilt and heartbreak at having to leave his grandma behind and alone to go and save his sister#not trying to be mean because i still like him. he is still link after all. but idk he just falls a bit short for me#like his promise to mipha's father comes across as very shallow when he kept a blank face at her in both the memory and her spirit scene#the only character that benefits from him being flat is revali and that's because it fuels revali's dislike of him because of a#misunderstanding and lack of communication#totk spoilers#<- in the tags at least
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unagrancantidaddepanes · 1 year ago
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anyways all my homies love felix fathom, mf was doing what the social services could never do ❤️❤️❤️ king shit
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kelpiemomma · 1 year ago
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Ingo held Khan's scaled wrist gently as he examined the claws his friend now sported. Five fingers had been turned into four deadly talons, new to Ingo but already put to gruesome work by the hybrid.
"I'm sorry about your hands..." he said softly. Khan shrugged as he examined his other claws.
"Eh, don't sweat it. It's hardly the worst thing they've done to me." He responded mildly. As though his body being changed against his will to a weapon was the norm. Ingo glanced at his eyes, his fangs, the remnants of his horns- and remembered this wasn't the first time his friend had been altered against his will. His grip on Khan's hand tightened.
"Still," he insisted, "if we'd found you guys sooner..."
If they'd found Khan and Nana sooner, Khan would still have his hands and Nana would still have both eyes. If they'd been just a little faster to realize the hybrids were missing, to remember where they had come from, if they had pushed their pokemon a little harder to fly and fight-
"I'm glad you found us at all, honestly." Khan said it off the cuff, without thinking, but must have felt how Ingo's grip tightened again. He turned his head to look at his friend and Ingo felt mild dread at the look in his eyes. As Khan leaned forward he cringed back just slightly.
"Hey, look on the bright side!" Khan accentuated his words with a point from his claws. He must have seen Ingo's confused upset because he smiled wider.
"The bright side?" Ingo repeated. There was a bright side to this?
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Khan shut his eyes as if he was a teacher explaining something incredibly simple.
"Oh, my sweet summer train man, of course there is!"
He stuck out his claws like Elesa and Skylar did when they were showing off freshly done nails. The scales gleamed in the light, dimly iridescent.
"I match your color scheme now!"
Ingo's gaze remained on the claws for a moment. Was this really a good thing? Khan had lost another important part of himself because he and Emmet had been too slow. Was the simple black nature of his scales that important? Could it make up for everything else?
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He looked up with tired eyes, meeting Khan's gaze again, and realized that Khan was not as unaffected as he thought. He was giving Ingo the softest smile he'd ever witnessed on the other man's scarred face, his eyes half shut and gentle. Khan had been there when it happened, had suffered the consequences, just as he had the last time he'd been abducted. He would figure out how to deal with his new appendages just as he always had before. It was not quite old hat, but it was also nothing new, and something would have been changed no matter how quickly he and Emmet had arrived.
For the first time in the years he'd known Khan, the hybrid was being sympathetic and offering Ingo a comfort over something he had no control of. Yes, he now had claws and scales, but they were the color that Ingo most frequently found himself in. The color of one of his closest family members. Ingo wondered if Khan had used that as a way to comfort himself after it happened, but didn't dare ask. Instead he tried smiling. Surely it was weak, but the worried look in Khan's eyes lessened.
"Yes, you're quite right." Ingo grasped Khan's claws as if they were still his hands, holding them tightly. He would get used to them, just as Khan had. It would be alright. "Another color would have been quite unfortunate."
#Khan a.#I have no name for this au#TLDR Emmet and Nana met up in the future-present. Nana developed beyond Khan and they managed to track them down in Hisui#And get them home. Akari comes with ofc. Ingo and Akari go back to visit their friends in Hisui regularly. They return after a visit#To find Emmet in distress. While they were gone Khan and Nana were abducted by the organization that originally made them what they are.#Secret labs are not as easy to find as people think and it takes some time for them to track down where Khan and Nana ended up. When they D#They find nana missing an eye. Khan missing his hands. And (to their surprise and horror) Rei. From Hisui.#Who is now a (hisuian) Growlithe hybrid in a similar manner nana and Khan are also hybrids.#Everyone gets saved but not without some losses. Given ow hpeaceful everything has otherwise been... this is upsetting to the train men.#Akari copes by making a pros and cons list of their new abilities and helping Rei adjust to the future#(he can't go back to Hisui because he still exists there... nobody knows why or how he came to be in the organizaion's clutches)#Emmet and Ingo are determined to track down and eradicate the rest of the offshoot branches of the organization but each feel guilty#If they'd been faster. If they'd been smarter. If they'd found a clue a little earlier.#If if if if if. Khan and Nana are no strangers to undesired body modification and are already getting used to them.#(primarily by mocking each other. They're allowed to. They've seen the worst of each other in the first hybridizations and now this.)#For Khan it's very much a 'well. This wasn't planned. Time to adapt.'#At least they didn't give him soft mittens he couldn't inflict damage in#but now he has to be careful lest he unintentionally inflict damage (he cut Akari by accident once already. It gutted him.)#Anyway that guilt manifests into ingo apologizing (more than once)#And Khan trying to convince him it's fine. It sucks but it's fine. It's not ingo or Emmet's fault.#Ingo better appreciate gentle and sympathetic Khan while he's got him cause once the guilt is over Khan is going back to being a bastard#Also I apologize for the beanie but I haven't figured out hair for ANY info#And I was not about to draw his bitch ass hat
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benveydraws · 1 year ago
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putting these pages together for no particular reason
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pebbledrat · 1 year ago
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The longer I'm around the more convinced I become that Jill and Michael also had some kinda codependent-besties archetype thing going on?? they may or may not even have been aware of it, but like. they're kind of a matched set, you know? Frequently purchased together, do not separate them
#this is based more on vibe then evidence but like. boy oh boy is there evidence#you could look at how the Lovers archetype affected Raven and Lloyd when they got split up and then compare that to Michael spiraling#idk. obviously there are a lot of factors at play here but like. sort of chronologically-#they were trapped in the tower together and had to stay sane for each other. making up games together. trying not to crack.#she was his first friend. you know?#they show up to the dinner party together. they bring wine and scotch! (she taught him to drink)#(they used to laugh and drink and party together until suddenly they couldn't anymore)#jill takes the chance to admit to lloyd that she worries about michael. to which!!!! lloyd says!! at least he has you#jill and michael's well being has ALWAYS been interwoven#or like. or like. in act 6 in the final battle jill follows her own melody line bc she's ticked and this is personal#compared with michael who doesn't have a personal stake in this other than the playhouse crew being involved!#michael doesn't have his own melody. he sings to the love and a dream playhouse tune bc that's his motivation for fighting#UNTIL jill is in danger!! when Michael jumps in to save her he finally gets his own musical flavor in the song! then it's banjo boy time#idk. there was a lot of loss and multiple different traumas Michael went through after that. but suddenly he's alone again#at least he's not stuck in a swamp or a tower for years but. he's all the way back to square one. he's alone. he doesn't cope well with that#and while he misses all of them he really misses jill. at the worst of it he doesn't even want to reunite with lloyd and david#but like. he's in a real bad way. he's hit rock bottom and he carries so much guilt over not being able to help jill#to the point where even hearing that there's hope is crushing to him bc it means that there Was something he could've done#and he did nothing#he's devastated all over again not just bc he lost her. but bc he abandoned her. he failed her.#we don't have nearly as much about how jill is doing but we do have her song titled Michael about their early relationship#and the way they rely on each other#go listen to that and tell me the narrative wouldn't just eat that up and link their destinies and mental stability#they spent years in level five. you can't tell me they got away with all this unscathed#i definitely think losing son mi was a big part of why michael spiraled but this essay is about jill and michael specifically#hdhjdfhrjrdgtsg how long can post go (challenge mode)#pebble speaks#shaperaverse
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zannolin · 1 year ago
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you ever get an idea that is sooooo. arghhhhh bites into a roof tile and cries.
#zanna talks#i cant like word it good yet#but i think if mia ever got to talk to ethan after he died like either bc he came back or a SOR situation or whatever#that she should be allowed to be a little angry at him for just giving up. not facing the aftermath.#like you went somewhere you knew i couldnt follow. you left because you knew i was still here to take care of rose.#but you left us alone. you left ME alone.#YOU KNOW like not bc he's a terrible horrible person for doing that but bc shes human and it hurt. what he did hurt.#and anger is a stage of grief for a reason you know#i am 110% convinced he was only able to do that because she wasn't there for him to look her full in the face and say i'm leaving#you cannot change my mind on this#not bc hes scared of her or whatever the fuck ppl seem to think. but bc he loves her. and how can you do that to someone when you can see#the hurt and the realization and the grief dawn in their eyes you know#anyway. sorry ive been thinking about this so hard i had to stop reading rwrb#putting this all in the tags btw bc iiiii am scared of mia winters antis here on tumblr okay dont come for me ppl let me chill#let me have my little ideas. let me be.#like mia would understand in a way why he did it bc she did the same thing except it was different then#they could have saved him. or at least they could have tried. and he just gave up#meanwhile mias been living with the consequences and the guilt of what she did every day for years now#YKNOW.
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armentas · 1 year ago
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holy shit. delora doesn't exist within the haven universe anymore, but i absolutely need to have someone use the old dialogue i had planned for her.
delora, comforting heather: if you think about it, we exist in the first place because people care for each other. we exist because people loved each other as far back as adam and eve, and cain and abel.
heather: i think you're thinking of the wrong story. cain killed abel.
delora: i think you can love someone, and still kill them.
HELLO????
#the question is: who would say a line like that#there's a reason it was reserved for delora#she's more poetic. or at least that was her development back then#the implications of the dialogue fit erin but erin isn't poetic enough for it and has no connection to religion#it's actually giving beau vibes tbh and it makes sense given he has survivor's guilt#he thinks he could've prevented the car accident that injured him and killed his best friends#and in his eyes that's the same as actively killing them#WAAAAIT... HOLD ON... I THINK I'M ONTO SOMETHING NOW...#passivity is one of his fatal flaws. and i've been operating under the mindset he is not aware of this issue#but considering he judges his passivity for that action + judges himself for not being able to ''save'' heather#it's obvious he knows. and i feel like that unlocks a lot more character potential to have a character who like#knows what their problem is and they watch themselves cause problems with said problem but they don't know what to do#and he should not only witness when he's passive about others but definitely when he's like that about his own life#bc that's where it's most prevalent. he can take more action when it's someone else but he feels too hopeless to save himself#i didn't even mean to get some brainstorming in there. thought i'd be too tired today#good for me!#ramble#active brainstorming#this also means that josie is beau if he felt no remorse about not taking action and just prioritized himself instead#i already knew they had some serious parallels but hmm....#ok i'm done now. insanity over <3
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fenixburned · 1 year ago
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god this hurts me sm :))) like not only is haymitch forced into sobriety (which truly is excruciating for someone struggling with addiction) but if he does have to see the broadcast he also has to hear those words from peeta & that he stopped trusting him :)))) plus knowing that katniss most likely feels the same :)))
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libraryleopard · 2 years ago
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Adult science fiction standalone novel
In near-future America, struggling documentary filmmaker Hayes Figuerido learns that an alternate version of himself from a parallel universe created the Envisioner, a device that can predict the future, and sent it to his reality
When he joins a team of scientists studying the Envisioner, Hayes meets physicist Yusuf and learns the two of them are married in another universe and finds himself falling for Yusuf in this one
As Hayes learns more about the multiverse, however, it becomes clear that while their lives are inextricably linked, their story often ends in tragedy and saving Yusuf could risk the univerise
Explores multiverse theory and questions of how far you will go to save the one you love
Gay main character with depression; Egyptian, Muslim love interest; M/M romance; aromantic asexual Japanese side character
#ooh i read this one a while ago let me try to remember what i thought#i think the first third or so when they're just studying the envisioner and yusuf and hayes are falling in love is a bit slow#enjoyed the multiverse-hopping stuff#some of the filmmaker stuff like envisioning the world as a script got a little tedious#well fleshed-out protagonist who feels very realistic and flawed#also i liked yusuf#i have seen at least one review by an autistic reader saying they read him as autistic#the aroace representation felt a little questionable to me because the character in question is very cold/calculating?#didn't expect that there would be so much world-building around the near-future america setting which was interesting#like androids being common and also an indigenous sovereign state#also there's one world with a movie crew stuck on the moon that i thought was super interesting#the alternate realities are all cool#okay BIG SPOILERS NOW#i was kind of unconvinced by the ending#basically the main character is given the choice between saving yusuf's life and letting an asteroid destroy earth in another reality#he picks yusuf and it like 'now to compartmentalize my horrific guilt and live happily with him'#and i was like. bro. you are going to be eaten alive by guilt in a few years#i don't know i wasn't convinced by it!!#would love to hear thoughts from someone else who has also read this book tbh#a fractured infinity#nathan tavares#2023 reads#books#lulu reads a fractured infinity#lulu speaks#lulu reads
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