#save me.... theres no electricity in our house

[nebulousmedic]

Sniper in your latest drawing; “I should hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me”

Narrator voice: “it did”

Xx

I think ALL the mercs are into some freaky stuff and their pain tolerance is probably insane so COUGH

Whether they've discovered what they're into varies.... 👁️👁️

[rxmxa]

uranus through the houses + the future <3

I saw this video the other day of this girl (colette bernard) who became a millionaire selling claw clips designed to look like teeth (her audience was dentists) but then she expanded when they were a hit so she has like cute claw clips designs for a dozen of professions. BUT all i remember thinking that stuff like this is so pluto in aquarius coded and we’re going to keep seeing people become successful more and more through their specific interests and hobbies.

she was truly self made and her passion for art changed her ENTIRE life (even though people told her it was a dumb idea). Pluto is gonna be in Aquarius for a long ass time and we know the significance it has on social changes, the collective, the government, community etc etc. This is a time for innovation and transformation, and with Uranus’s energy on your side, you can truly step into a future where you lead the charge in creating something new and lasting ⚡️

the point is your weirdness, your out of the box ideas, the shit you think is straight up weird or maybe mee maw and pee paw call “useless” IS GONNA COME IN FUCKING HANDY!!! people are changing their entire lives everyday online and/or by finding their niche. so whatever “weird” idea or hobby you have, keep investing in it !! im not saying bc it will bring u money instantly (although thats always a plus) but bc it will bring you OPPORTUNITIES.

we all have our own claw clip tooth idea and we can look at uranus to show us the forward thinking/ innovative energy that can help us during pluto in Aquarius :) 💙🦋✨✨🪩✨✨💙💙

uranus in the 1st house: moving forward by embracing your quirks and letting the world see the real you. dont ever ever ever try to dull yourself down. the right people will find you. dont shy away from shaking things up with how you present yourself or how you lead others. the visionary is YOU and during pluto in aqua you can inspire others to embrace their authenticity the way you do. in a way YOU are the “unique idea” so take full ownership. Dont be afraid to experiment with your style and image, especially in the moments where you are feeling the urge to try something different! Step into leadership roles that call to you! Volunteer for projects that require someone open-minded or that align with innovative (like new companies, organizations or small owned businesses that are producing/ delivering new kinds of products or services).

uranus in the 2nd house: think of unique ways to invest your money (ik theres a lot of debate with crypto) but anything thats outside the box could be a worthy venture. think about you can use tech to help you streamline your finances or organize your budget! just be open to trying new financial systems. this placement gives me the energy of investing something that others might see as SUPER random or specific but then it takes off years later. this is not me telling u to put ur savings in electric scooter stocks or something but to just be OPEN to sustainable investments that catch your attention that can help u and even ur community!! this also reminds me of tech inventors or investing in tech or USING technology as a way to help you determine the kinds of values you want to have and/or what you actually wanna stand up for.

uranus in the 3rd house: moving forward by shaking up how you show up in your online communities, or your social media presence. have you ever been interested in starting a podcasts or blogging more? (like those conversations you have with your friends about your interests or hobbies can go far or even commentary on the way media looks like and is being used now. Invest in learning new methods of communication you have been interested in (like buying that new camera or learning how to code or finally starting that youtube channel). Use your platform to reach more people!! This also reminds me of someone who disrupts the status quo with innovation in education like maybe writing new curriculum thats more aligned to our modern generation or any other platforms/ media that are up and coming and useful to students??

uranus in the 4th house: focusing on moving forward with your ideal home environment in mind. visualize it and focus on the ways you can start putting in into action! dont be afraid to start over and re-design! think about the ways you want your environment to be emotionally and physically stable for you and what its gonna look like (eco-living? smart homes? communal living?) this placement reminds me of those people that buy mansions or plots of lands with a group of friends and put their money together to help grow and live together! Don't beat yourself up if your idea of home or family doesnt fit the cookie cutter image (which is honestly going away now slowly and will def shift with pluto in aqua). YOU get to decide what home and family is and you can inspire others to do the same. Your idea of family has to align with your desire for freedom and emotional growth.

uranus in the 5th house: going all out in the ways you experiment with your art and creativity. You could be great at creating "futuristic" type of art haha (or investing in art forms that arent super popular or well known rn but you're ahead of the game and they could be popular in the future). Be bold in all areas that have to do with the 5h (think outside the box with how you express yourself artistically and romantically). Pluto in aqua will support you in u turning your creative work and forms of self expression into something that inspires people and gauges strong emotions from them! that claw clip idea was def giving uranus in the 5h energy. She was HAPPY creating it, it was a hobby first (5h) and then people told her it was useless or strange and she kept going anyway and she got to profit it from it, especially through social media (the 5h-11h axis). trust me when I say there is something out there for everybody. EVERYBODY.

uranus in the 6th house: pluto in aqua will urge you to break free from outdated systems and explore new ways to stay productive and healthy!! The traditional 9-5 might not appeal to you and thats okay because it doesnt to a lot of people and they have created their own way. Think about the tech-driven approaches you want to explore in your daily life (apps, the media you use, how you use tech in regards to your health). Think about how tech can help your productivity and your health!! This reminds me of my coworker who bought like this ultraface ring (I think thats what its called) but she loves it and its super high tech and fancy and shit and it monitors a lot of her health and its motivated her in her routines! The way we motivate ourselves looks different! You can move forward by exploring the most flexible options for you.

uranus in the 7th house: you can move forward by redefining what partnership + relationships actually mean to you. now more than ever its time to focus on partnerships where there is a sense of independence and equality. ESPECIALLY bc pluto in aqua is going to redefine and TRANSFORM (pluto) what community and friendships and relationships (aqua) look like in the first place. so be ahead of the game by surrounding yourself and nuturing your relationships with people that are not scared to break away from the norm and actually want to work together and are built to support mutual growth and freedom. dont stress trying to confine yourself to keep someone who is not open minded enough for you! find your person/ people.

part 2 coming soon!! 🪩✨🦋

[thankstothe]

Also i think Amber death puts "people don't change" thing House has into overdrive.

He says it s1-4, but he is still willing to try to change, it's not immediately a negative. It goes okay, but him staying the same is even rewarded - Vogler speech incident, egoistical and prideful but a right thing ultimately.

s2 Pushing away stacy because he says himself he won't change for her. gets shot - hes gotta change right?

Start of s3 he tries to care for patient and less for the puzzle with the wheelchair guy. It's Wilson who says "you didn't change", then encouraged House to try, then Wilson himself puts a lid and withholds the emotional high House was trying to feel from gratification of patients. (Cuddy who's big shareholder in House can/should change stocks feebly pushes against it, but plays along and "takes" potential change away). Tritter arc - goes through the motions but doesn't change. Drugging each other "House was happy/hazy" House stops taking antidepressants to keep his head - doesn't change even though he still saved the patient. So Wilson and House are on the same page in people don't change, so far. Duckling leave (id argue that after this they develop the most) but House doesn't throw a (self-destructive) fit about things changing.

S4 is all about change and, as said above, rocking the boat. Amber, one of the new ones and represents change. House is the opposite of change. She's adapts and does well in the contest. (Sidenote she avoids digging up body at the cemetery, avoiding death). She's mostly okay leaving, her options are open, House's are not, he literally had to carve out a whole new department to meet his needs. She's already developing past House

When she's dating Wilson, she wants him to not fall into his old pattern of taking care of her and taking care of himself - change for himself. Cuddy straight tells House "you're afraid that things will change with Wilson and more so of the fact that he wants to change". In the mattress w House store "always wanted water mattress" "buy it" "some people don't go through life indulging our every whim" "then you dont deserve to be happy" "yet iam, you?" "Live the dream Wilson" He buys the mattress he wanted - it sucks, he hates it. But hey, he tried

House starts to change to accommodate Amber schedule. "you're sacrificing yourself, this is huge i can have friendships that are not with you" House goes to bars to mop about that, without Wilson, because he's getting left behind - Amber goes to picks him up - gets drunk too - bus

And when talking about Amber death and House, and how she fem house and then is a part of his conscious theres huge and hard to discuss elephant in the room which is suicide themes. Which House flirts with often, sometimes openly, other times subtly. Who House calls when he sticks shit into an electrical socket? Amber. "You wouldn't let me die" (Who greets him back too? Wilson. There's a post somewhere that this is how Wilson's and Ambers relationship might've started - House almost dying. I like the idea, makes it symmetrical. How relationship ends fem house - dead, House almost dead again)

The fact that she's a woman only relevant to Wilson because he views himself as a default straight man. The revelation that she's House maybe the first serious challenge to that, but he doesn't have to deal with it while she's alive (and after, it's far from the first thing on the Wilson's grieve check list)

House has visions of someone about to die. He cracks his head (once), has retrograde amnesia, drugs himself, has a heart attack -to find out who is it. He obsessed. Not explicitly killing himself, but he's wearing his body out. Wilson tries to stop it as usual. And then it's Amber. House goes the extra mile to try to find out what's wrong not to save her, primary, so that Wilson has a chance to keep changing <- which Wilson chooses instead of House and pretty much tells him that. Cracks his head (twice). There's no universe where Amber and House both survive, in narrative it's the same road and they're the crossroads. With Amber, change dies, and her death is the last big change for a while. (convinient for procedural, huh)

After this every attempt at change bitchslaps House. Who doesn't want to change, right up until the finale. House digs in his heels on "people don't change" stance, and will fight anyone who disagrees. And gets more sensitive around death

s5 dealing with Amber aftermath Wilson can't move on or change - goes back to House, House hires PI in the fear of Wilson changing. Tries therapy - gets into accident - it doesn't work. Another huge death is hard to not change - welcome back Amber, in his head she is very different and far more ruthless, destructive than actual Amber was

something to be said about her apartment too (same floorplan too - insanity - saving money by keeping it in the narrative), which was left unchanged in s5, literally for a huge chunk of it, Wilson clinging to the idea of change by not changing it. Then reorganised by house himself and then left behind in s6

s6 House doesn't really change but learns to manage his addiction and life, while fighting to stay the same. Furnishing episode organ moment (a lot to discuss there, but boiling it down) - repeat of the mattress thing - Wilson still doesn't know what he wants or who he is, only certain that he wants House in his life and is content with that. Until he isn't, and kicks House out - sam wilson apartment change - almost relapsed

s7 Lets say Cuddy is last change advocate and why he doesn't. Tries to push and change for Cuddy - she needs him to change more for her and less for himself - "ideal house" in her head and his are too different, and he's not ideal by any means (she already has a house maybe she should get an apartment for it to work idk wilson swiped it from under her) - House's change is not enough or will it ever be - relapses. Tries to change his leg - hospitalized - last ep blows up about Cuddy (after he melts down about patient going back on own principals to get better)

s8 "oh you're changed man" "i was wrong, i havent changed and neither have you" Keeping House life the same takes huge toll on everyone around, few are willing to stay by now. Pushes 13 away for her own good - he's warming up to change as an idea, not for himself tho. "relationship with hooker cant hurt you means you want more" - c word - tries to push change on Wilson who's already forced into changing - lashes out - almost dies - haunted by Amber, Kutner, important people, everyone but Cuddy and Wilson - "i can change" - doesn't die and kinda does. Which is a revival of change+Amber in House's mind - a reason for him to not die, he thematically becomes Amber by embracing change, tying it back to Wilson. And they ride away by the song that in House's head Amber sang - Enjoy Yourself (It's Later than You Think) - duet version this time

Why did they make Amber girl!House, make her date Wilson, make House sad that he'll be left alone and then killed her??? What does it mean?????? Like, in a Literary analysis way

[botanyshitposts]

I feel like there is some sort of use for your Hot Plants other than being dope as fuck but I cannot for the life of me think of what

okay okay okay. when I was in high school i actually took a college engineering course called environmental sustainability, and one of my friends and I paired up to give our final presentation on this, with me investigating the plant side of things and her working on the engineering side. our goal? to use them to heat and provide partial electricity to a house.

now, these are lofty goals, but we were both 17 year old overachievers and we were Into It, so the sky was the limit. we decided to use mosses, specifically the model species Physcomitrella patens, which is a choice that I know i made but i absolutely cannot remember why (i think it was because it was small and easily reproducible, but it makes no sense in hindsight when you consider like...what moss anatomy looks like?). our plan was to take genes from the part of the flower that heats up in the voodoo lily Amorphophallus konjac and insert them into the genome of this moss that did absolutely nothing to hurt us. what we were envisioning was that the gene would express itself evenly though the entire bodies of the mosses, which again doesnt make any sense in hindsight, but it was epic to think about and that was that.

because of how thermogenic plants heat up (via dumping electrons through an escape hatch in the mitochondria and just...doing that a lot, in large numbers), we thought we would plant it on some kind of really highly nutritious substrate, because we assumed that a plant doing that sort of metabolic work with no food storage would die from starvation or otherwise just...have mitochondria that starved the cells because none of the energy was actually going through the hole it was supposed to go through, which, without getting much into it, literally would just defeat the entire point of the mitochondria. plants that do thermogenesis in the wild are usually beefy jungle plants with huge bulbs, and they save up starches for months to use as a food supply for pulling this off; therefore we thought the solution to doing this in mosses would be planting them on like, petri dish substrate with a thin sheet of glass over them to create a greenhouse environment.

but wait! how could this be converted into electricity? well, a huge obsession of mine at the time in relation to this were things called Peltier devices, which are electric plates that use extreme differences in temperatures from one side to the other to generate electricity. so if you had this huge sheet of genetically modified, very hungry Hot Mosses under a thin sheet of glass planted on petri dish substrate, and if you were in a cold enough climate, you could line your roof with these things, and the outside temperature would contrast the greenhouse-like high temperature inside the Hot Moss Roof Tiles(tm) and, we thought, that if you embedded Peltier devices into these roof tiles, you would be able to generate some amount of electricity. from there, my friend had an entire design plotted out with how to use this energy to push hot air from the moss house roof tiles into pipes that heated the house when it was super cold, because the colder the outside world the greater the difference in temperatures, and the more electricity that would be created.

remember that we did not have to do actually make any of this and just had to thoroughly research and present our ideas. our combined project was a 40 minute extensive infodump on this theoretical hot moss roof tile energy system. our presentation was supposed to be like, 15 minutes but nobody stopped us. also there were only like 5 people in the audience and they were just researchers from around the area. it was wild but i only remember it fondly.

i actually started typing out a list of all the things wrong with this plan as we had it set up in high school, but this post was getting pretty long, so just know that it’s....it’s a lot. there are a lot of things wrong with this plan. you probably could pull it off in lab conditions, but theres no way anything like this would be possible or practical in the near future. it’s a sad state of affairs, i know.

but anyway. that was the application i had in mind in high school. as an adult i honestly just want to see what would happen and/or if its possible, im not gonna lie.

[mysticmeadowscamp]

If I had a soul I would be willing to sell it for more Logan hcs. (you mentioned that asks are slower so I thought it wouldn't be a bad time to ask) Hope you have a good morning/day/night time zones are weird

Ok so i dont have any hcs but i do have a lil scenario between him and Patton i was JUST thinking about

Since Patton and Lo live close to each other, Patton is constantly going to Logan's place

And its always super sudden most of the time Patton just texts him "hey im outside open up"

And Logan immediately answers cause hes the type of guy to have different ringtones for each of his friends so he knows its Patton and goes to open the door right away

But this time Logan doesnt even sees Pat's texts

So Patton stays outside for like 15 minutes still texting Logan in hopes the spam of messages will make him check his phone

He groans especially cause he knows Logan is home. He didnt have a shift at work today

And even if something last minute had happen like idk Roman asked him to hang out Logan would STILL check his phone

And Patton is not going back to his home his dad is there ew

And after some other 5 minutes of him tapping his foot in annoyance he goes fuck it and enters through the kitchen's window

"You spend the whole day on your phone why not now? Ive been out for like an hour " He yells. No response

"Logan???" Nothing

He goes up the stairs and hears music blasting from Logan's room. Ah. Maybe thats why

"If youre dancing like an idiot im not gonna have mercy this time and im gonna record you!"

Once Patton gets there Logan is nowhere to be seen.

His phone is charging and the music is BLASTING from Logan's tv and its so loud Patton had to turn it down a little

"Okay NOW im getting worried" Pattom says to himself as he leaves the room and starts going down the hallways checking every room looking for his friend

"Logan???" He calls one last time

Then Logan's head pops down FROM THE CEILING and it took Patton a solid second to realize he was in the attic

"JOHNATHAN!" Logan calls very enthusiastically yet nearly giving Patton a heart attack

"What are you doing up there?"

"Im checking out my dad's stuff! Theres TONS of instruments here! Come up, check it out!!!"

As Patton goes uo the stairs to the attic Logan starts explaining "I was rather tired of playing just my guitar and i thought that maybe my dad had some instrument saved up in here i could try. He used to be a musician, you know? So i gave it a shot and came up here and theres so many of them! And theyre all in perfect state! Im taking the bass, the electric guitar, the keyboard, and i found a kalimba, i left it somewhere...im taking them all to my room to learn how to play them"

"I think youre getting just a tad obsessed with music, Lo" Patton mentions with a teasing smile

"I cant help it!" Logan replies with a smile as well "Its so fun, and interesting, and fascinating...I...I havent picked up a book in a good while now, I just cant get music out of my head" and for some reason Lo sounds a little embarrassed about it

"Well thats great. Youre our music guy now." Pat smiles "Still a nerd, though. Our music nerd"

And then Patton starts checking out the things in the attic as well, and just like Logan said, theres indeed TONS of instruments there, all in perfect condition"

"How about you learn how to play the banjo? thatd be pretty cool" Pat jokes at one point. And he chuckles when Logan says "oh DEFINITELY. Just let me get the hang of the bass and electric guitar first and i'll get my hands on that banjo". Especially because he sounded genuinely serious

After a while, Patton finds a big case

"Whats that big one?" He asks

"Oh? Oh. Thats my dad's drum kit"

"And you dont wanna try it out?" He asks, getiing closer to it

"I dont think i have enough coordination to play it. That and i think its too loud, at least for me" Logan shrugs

"I could use some loudness back at my house, if im honest"

"Do you wanna keep it?" Logan asks

"What?"

"The drum kit. You could take it home and learn how to play it" he replies "You definitely have the coordination, and, i dont know, since hitting things helps you let some anger out, this could help. You could, like, pretend its your dad's face or something"

"That sounds very tempting" Patton replies, and both him and Logan chuckle a little bit

"No, but seriously, i mean it"

"Logan, no. Its your dad's"

"He gave up on these instruments a while ago. He only plays piano and my guitar if he feels like it. Im sure hes okay with it!"

"Even so, if my dad sees this on my room he will get rid of it the moment i leave my room!"

"Then we can just keep it here and you can come to practice whenever you want!"

Patton just gives him an unconvincing glare

"Come onnn... lets be music buddies, Pat!"

And after a while of Patton eyeing the drum set, he sighs. It does sounds very tempting

"Okay. But ask your dad if hes okay with it"

"YES!"

[shaggi]

if i could stop time, i would

info ; eren x reader ; soulmates ; 1.8k

content warning ; end of the world concept, mentions of not really wanting to live lol, gentle angst

Day one. 72 hours until the world ends.

The world is going to shit. I know it is because I can hear the panicked buzz of mothers holding their children close and reassuring them as the news practically burned "we're all going to die" into our heads.

My fingers twitched as they held the dark blue fabric of my jeans. I'm terrified ㅡ as is the rest of the people watching the news ㅡ and it most definitely doesnt help when they plaster a large timer onto the screen counting down our days and hours left on our beloved blue planet.

"We never thought this day would come.. Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached the end of the chapter." The words echoed into the back of my mind. 'The end of the chapter'? I havent even really lived my life? I'm only seventeen.. I barely made it to graduation. I suck in a deep breath, filling my lungs fully before releasing the built up pressure.

Theres a burning sensation on my waterline, tears threatening to roll down my cheeks. My hands begin to shake when I think back to all the sleepless nights I spent not enjoying life. I took life for granted ㅡ and now it's going to end in three days. In seventy-two hours, it's all going to go away. That's not enough time to say all the things I didnt have a chance to say.

Wasted opportunities.

Wasted chances that I now no longer have control over.

My legs suddenly feel like spaghetti and walking seems like a foriegn topic to me. I just need to sit down, take a breather.

Who am I kidding. The storm inside me is raging on tonight and my hands have a handful of messy locks.

I catch glimpse of inked red calligraphy spelling out the name 'Eren' that is marked onto the inside of my forearm in small writing just an inch below my wrist. My heart swells with sadness.

The sense of realization settles in, practically telling me to 'let this sink in for a little'. I'm not ever going to get the chance to meet my soulmate. I'll never get the satisfaction of weaving their fingers with mine, to lay on the couch on cold winter nights with blankets drooped over our shoulders. Never get the chance to tell them I love them over and over again, to brush their hair behind their ears, grab them by the smooth skin of theirs and feel the fireworks of pressing my lips against their own.

I wont feel the sweet electricity course through me like people explained would happen when they touched their soulmate for the first time. I've spent seventeen years searching for this perfect person in the happiness of this little town. The universe promised a perfect person, they never promised me to meet them though.

The younger generations were lucky, for they werent born with marks. They werent tied to someone, so they dont have anything to lose other than the fact that they're too young to leave this world.

A crowd begins to pull outside, staring at the sky with both a mix of admiration and fear. The blue sky has begun to turn itself into a peach color. My town's happy vibe has now turned uneasy, scared, unsure.

That day, I walk home slowly when the sky begins to darken, taking the scenery of the autumn leaves disarray upon the concrete sidewalk. If the world is ending in three days, I'm going to make the most of it. Soak it up like a sponge. Do what I should've been doing these past seventeen years and love life for once ㅡ despite all the wrong. Despite the fact that I'll never graduate, and never meet my soulmate. I force myself to disregard the nagging thoughts that tug at my conscious.

I dont think about the fact that I'll never get a chance to buy my first apartment.

I dont think about how I wont be able to wake up every morning to make my significant other breakfast.

And I most certainly dont think about how I'll never be able to take my lovers hand at the alter and say with great pride, "I do."

Day 2. 48 hours until the world ends.

Today, I woke up early. Early enough that the sun still hasn't peaked over the clouds. They say that if you wake up early enough the day takes longer to end.

The aching pain in my chest never seems to cease. I laugh a little bitterly at the calander on the wall, I feel like its mocking me now. A part of me wants to rip the thing to shreds and scream until my throat is raw ㅡ but I said I'd make the best of these last days. So, I push these bitter thoughts from my mind and start up a warm shower.

Seventeen years of not wanting to be alive, and now I only have two days to live until the entire world completely goes to shit. Ironic, isn’t it? Why now am I so angry? The water is warm trickling down my bare body, as my shower thoughts continue treading forward to how I could make life better in less than forty-eight hours.

I walk down a different road today, deciding that routine wasnt necessary when the world is going to end in forty-eight hours. The countdown continues on nearby TVs, the bright white luminous against the dark morning sky.

It makes me feel anxious.

Destruction clouds my mind, but I bite my lip and hold my ground. This situation will not drive me crazy.

The town is a lot quieter than I expected, then again it's only 6 in the morning.

The day carries on just as any other day, the air seems heavier though. It's the night time that brings chaos.

You see, I've been walking around town all day blowing that last little bits of money I have on little things that have no purpose. The sky is the same sunset peach as it was yesterday, only barely hinting at a blue color.

There's a faint noise a few blocks from where I am standing, and at first I chose the ignore it. The yelling got louder and louder until I felt my feet pull like magnets to what was going on.

Chocolate hair, smooth tan skin shining under the soft orange of the sky, handfuls of someones shirt as this mystery man pinned some junky against the rough brick wall. His eyes held a killer glow, practically fuming from the ears. I was going to mind my own business, but then I saw the other strike at the brunette ㅡ and I dont know why, but I stepped in.

A surprise attack, a blow right to the face, maybe a minor bruise on my cheek from when the other decided to attack back ㅡ but soon he left. I turn my gaze back to the brunette who still sits on the floor, palms pressed into the concrete.

"I didnt need your help," he hissed, dusting his hands against the black fabric of his jeans.

"Oh you're welcome for saving your ass, wasnt a problem at all." My hand lifts to my face, pressing onto the bruise and wincing before squatting next to this stranger. "Is it bad? Let me see," The moment my hand makes contact with the others chin I feel the rush of electricity course through me.

Overwhelming is an understatement. Sweet emotions flooded through my mind but I can feel the pounding of fear in my veins, and bittersweet it was. When I retract my hand, I see that he's mirrored the exact expression I have; eyes blown wide, fear in the darks of his pupils.

"Eren..?" trying to keep my voice from cracking seems hard, and it comes out more like a whisper. This situation leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Where the hell has he been for seventeen years? Why is he just now showing up?

Eren immediately sprung to his feet, taking a few steps back with no words to say. I snatched at his left arm, pushing the sweaters sleeve up and over his forearm to see my name inked in blue against his paper skin. "So.. you're my soulmate?" I promise I didnt mean to make it sound disappointed ㅡ but in a way, I guess you could say I was.

So many questions raced through my mind; but the biggest question of all was why? Why now of all times we could've met? Why must I be gifted with the worst luck.

Eren isnt a bad person though, and in the few hours we've spent together I can tell you this; His favorite color is red, he lives with his mother and a girl that his family took in when they were very little - who he loves dearly, he can play guitar very well, he looks absolutely adorable with his hair tied up, and that's only the stuff he's told me within the first hour.

Words cannot express how much I wished we could have more time together, but the bright TV clocks continue to remind me that our time is running out.

"There's nothing more I'd rather do than to spend my last moments with you," Eren whispered, golden flecks in his beautiful ocean eyes. His hand was held in mine as the pained expression washed over his face. Somewhere in the conversation led us to this point of heartbreak. We both explained how we wanted nothing more than to meet earlier in life, but apparently the universe had a different plan.

The idea of parting with Eren now just seemed like a waste, and I'd much rather take my dying last breath next to the one I looked for my entire life. Falling in love is easy when you've got nothing to live for.

The walk back to my house is silent, but it's a comfortable silence, and we never seem to let go of each others hands. The house is quiet and dark when we enter.

The rest of the remaining night we have is spent cuddled under the thick blanket of mine, Eren held me close to his chest as we whisper sweet things that wont mean much in a few hours. Chaste kisses are showered over the male as I remind him of how I never stopped searching for him.

He studied my face, moving a strand of hair behind my ear before placing his palm onto my cheek and rubbing his thumb across the smoothness underneath my eye. I could feel my breath begin to shallow and my heart skip a beat. I loved the way his eyes sparkled under my dim-lit room, the way I could feel his heartbeat pulsing from how close we lay where, how steady his breathing was, and how gentle he caressed me.

Its bittersweet, and I never believed in the after life, but with him - maybe, just maybe, we will meet again in the next life.

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Tma season 2 notes baybeee

I made myself take several breaks so I could give my frie d who is listening to it at the same time as me a chance to catch up. Honestly just posting them so I have them saved somewhere but whatever.

ep 41: real graham wrote keep watching before he was replaced. Jon feels like he's being watched. But they werent replaced by things related to the eye. It's the web that's on the box that replaces them. Endless hallways and doors to nowhere. I bet nicholas will have ideas what entity this relates to. If it even does. They're like the tunnels in the one with the builder guy. Tunnels closing in etc. Also like the cave diving one. He's assuming it's just one

ep 42: so 100 gecs? (IM SORRY I LIKE 100 GECS BUT LMAO) so there's some entity related to music right? There's the piper episode and the 27 w/ the calliope. Ah yes, this season is gonna be the season of Paranoid!Jon

ep 43: section 31? fucking books. god no. smashed lights? cult lady did that. covered the lights too. she mentioned a spooky clown doll. thats not random.

ep 44: is this that same circus that got mentioned before? it is! the pipe organ! pop off organ! pipe off! mouth on the stomach! yes! mouths in unusual places my beloved!

ep 45: antiques! like that one ep!

ep 46: every time books get mentioned i sigh. hhh sus smells. it got brighter. I get the vibes occasionally that the dark and the eye are sorta at odds with eachother. GRRR BARK BARK LEITNER. ayyy ex altiora. entity go brr. which entity do we thing it is? my guess is The Dark. The book buyer's name is Mike. He has scars? Electricity? The childhood friend of the guy who got it later on perhaps? The Vast? its formatted like an entity idk. This happened before the other one. He got trapped in the wood carving. a win for the web lol spiders go brr

ep 47: did i hear spiral? ITS THE NOT THING FROM THE EPISODE WITH NOT GRAHAM "it didnt move, it shifted" is like the exact same sentence as before. ay john's starting to remember. the laughing woah thats weird. is "michael" one of the entities? "you make it seem like theres a war" supports my theory that theres a struggle between a couple of the entities. I said i thought it was the eye and the dark i believe but im not sure. its whatever entity michael is vs the worms? what did nicholas say the worms were again? The Corruption? still dont know which one michael is tho.

Had to take a break after that episode. smth about the quality of michael's voice makes me feel like im gonna slip into one of those states where it feels like nothing is real, so i got a nice cold glass of water.

ep 48: jesus ok this one's kidna corny. you're telling me love made the crowd go away come on now. Ur losing it big J. also shouldnt it be more sus that "sasha" is so unaffected by the worm incident/ finding of gertrude's body

ep 49: haven't we heard hector's name before? oh is he the crime guy? fucking jared... so it's a throat? chompa chompa. (it's just a little bit hot) the good part about these episodes is that we know whoever's telling the story isn't gonna die. even if it's a close call, they're not dead. hotworth? ok not jared keay. it bothers me how theres so many repeated names, can they not come up with other names? "sasha"'s computer is breaking... sus. Elias our favorite weed man! jon ur so paranoid lmao

ep 50: robert smirk, at it again. this is like that one episode with the old dude who locked his door. who said idle beforehand? was it smirk? fingertips. thats so weird lmao. bahahah tim

ep 51: simon fairchild. im sure jon will mention the name at the end i cant remember where we've heard it. this is just like the cavediving episode. a hand? there was a hand in the last one right? the scalpel! and an eye thing. she's trying to throw them off.

ep 52: thats the guy from before! with the hearts! god i hate this guy writing the statement hh. lights blowing, and brackish water. we know how this ends but its still tense. rainer? reigner? rain man. we've seen him before

ep 53: pls not a leitner. oh boy mans scratched out his eyes. rip skelly. why would gertrude have had this statement off the books? jon stabbed himself?? bruh im? big man are you okay

ep 54: cockney boys! ayy its our favorite delivery men. she cut out their eyes. she knew that the eye was a thing?

ep 55: oily residue like the retirement home!

ep 56: worms? no. spiders?? bruhh. aaah yelling :(( aww martin anyways yeah i called it about paranoid!jon he needs to take a nap and drink some hot chocolate and calm down for once please

ep 57: just remembered, i think theres an entity called The Lonely?? This feels pretty lonely idk. fairchild, lukas/ lucas, some spooky place in norway idk. "sasha" knew he was recordinig hmm suspicious cmon jon figure it out. Sasha and tom. hm sus. for records sake i feel liek i should note here that I did have it spoiled to me simply that that's not sasha, but thats really all. i assumed it was like the thing that happened to graham in S1

ep 58: i feel like i recognize the name eustice (?) wick. someone please tell me im not just watching jon's descent into madness over the course of this podcast. im hoping it isnt so but, (and pardon the dsmp reference) im getting real wilbur vibes from this one.

ep 59: oh dear ok account from the fielding house. swirling designs? Spiral time? oh boyy. oh wait! 6 inch hole in the middle! is it not a spiderweb type design on the table? thats what i had assumed but that description sounds more like a spiral thing. cobwebs is a Web thing. ayy nicholas was right! the box goes in the table! the place that she kissed him was burning. Raymond is an avatar of The Web and agnes is the burning one. Lightless Flame! Why did she save him? i guess she was against this guy eating ppl or wtvr but why was she at the halfway house then? I think she's like michael.

ep 60: the eye go brr

ep 61: breacon and hope once again. tom. sasha's boyfriend. vampires sleep in coffins. the guy just walking in seems similar to the mind control of the vampires

ep 62: bones! its that one leitner. is this mother keay? the mom of gerard? this is what happened to her right? her skin was found on hooks? oh yeah thats what i thought the pages are made of skin. yeesh. The End!! sounds like an entity. phrased like one, and i think i remember it. are the people trapped in the pages? or... kept?

ep 63: eaten by the darkness! cavediving episode! (just like eaten by the sky) did my brain make up one called The Vast? it feels like it should be one, and all these episodes have some similar description about their feelings when they do whatever chosen hobby they have. ok now this one kinda feels like the dark. lights going out and all that. ok so not really a The Vast thing, its more of a Dark thing. feckin smirk gah.

ep 64: dice! the death guy! the death game thing! the person tricked somebody else into becoming death and then they were immortal? but if the egyptians wanted to kill him or punish him or whatever couldnt they just kill him? it worked in the end when he had the person giving the statement stab him, that did the job and actually killed him

ep 65: finally jon is actually acknowledging something is wrong.

So we know Mary Keay was revived most likely with the book by gerard.

Gertrude was way more aware of the entities than Jon. mary keay referenced The End openly and she cut the eyes out of her magazines and all that which makes me think she was aware of The Eye

ep 66: please not buried alive pleeaase not buried alive. lukas of the tundra? didnt we hear the name lukas before? she wanted it to be difficult to find important files because that way bad people couldnt find them?

ep 67: agnes... the girl in the hilltop house? agnes poppin off!! he's really not gonna question how she knew where he lived?? oh no D: the tree. were they the ones working on the house? aww they kissi- OH DEAR. why did she kiss him? it seemed like she cared about him? also she could kiss that other dude on the cheek and he was fine, but maybe it was cuz she was younger? lightless flame go brrrrr.

ep 68: oh god books. yup its bitchboy leitner. mans said "this seems supernatural, its a werd book!" bruuh.

ep 69: heh nice. aw cmon jon listen to martin. gahhh spiders. is that the class we heard about in the other doctor one with the teeth apple? some kind of psych class? oh dear. fucking spiders. aaaah. web do be goin brr. it's like the girl in the homeless shelter! who made the guy leave and she took his bed.

ep 70: is this gonna be the book that mary keay had? Most likely a leitner no matter what. Oh boy latin. Why did it start in latin then become old English? I'm guessing people put them in the book? He cant burn it. Phrophecies go brr. He says eh it's a decade in the future it's fine. Its gonna have changed. Ayy called it. Just accept it, it's a magic book. His death is getting closer. Leitner didnt make them but just collected them? Gertrude burned the book! She burned them down there so no one would know.

ep 71: oh boy tunnels. Our favorite thing /s. is The Buried a thing? Idk this seems pretty buried. Oh dear he's trapped here isnt he. "Not enough space to move, never enough to breathe" is that from the computer episode? With the guy who uploaded his consciousness? Somebody living down there. Hmmmm. Guesses: tom, sasha's boyfriend. Gertrude herself? (Though I doubt it)

ep 72: sweeney todd moment. Meat. The slaughter? Idk we'll see what the supernatural part is. Meat is meat. Similar to the slaughterhouse episode. Is it fucking Jared I swear to God it better not be. Hooligan teenagers, you know how it is. Meat is me lmao. Is the kid gonna be in the freezer. Ok that's good. OWW. Oddly textured candles. Made from people? Human fat or smth? Tom from the meat processing plant!

ep 73: outer bay shipping. Bet it's a subset of breacon and hope delivery. The Dark go brrr. Uh oh mans is gonna die. Leo or whatever. Cult ppl go brr. The people's church of the divine host. Who is the divine host? Is it reigner or whatever his name is? I dont think Jon can quit tbh. Probably an anonymous tip but from who?? One of the entities?

ep 74: fucking teeth hhh. I dont know which entity is related to teeth. Spiral. Isnt the spiral an entity. It feels like it could be related to many things idk. Yeah this sounds like the spiral. Heart attack at 29? Jesus... michael! That's kinda what I was thinking. Sasha goin in the tunnels. Hmm sus. They move the floor. Wack. Bet its tom.

ep 75: Man with a lightning scar. Has one of the leitner books. The childhood friend of the one who first introduced us to leitner. Oh my god that sounds terrifying. Michael crew.

ep 76: scalpel? Hmm spooky. NotSasha... think jon think.

ep 77: another double! NotThem, The Stranger. Not related to the table?

ep 78: what was that at the beginning? Question mark?? Oh boy more NotThem. Decker... what is the deal with the table. Does it contain the creature? Fucking Michael. Bitchboi himself.

ep 79: yes pop off martin. Ugh fucking Michael just leave man. I hate that dude. New person. Hmm. No idea who it is.

ep 80: shitener himself! Ok sir tell us the entities. Ayy The Spiral. Ok we know what that one is. The Eye is the beholding! Oooh. The Stranger. Did elias just kill leitner? Popping off honestly.

[nakuuro1994]

The Fairly OddFamily: Scary OddFamily

By nakuuro & jaxnation15

(So once upon a time on a seemingly ordinary Halloween night in a rather small suburb in Dimmsdale, California. Timmy Turner & his new God-Siblings (Trixie, Chester, Tootie, A.J. & Chloe) are relaxing & hanging out at Timmy’s house while watching the new Crash Nebula Halloween Special “Wrath of the Jackobots” while also getting ready to go out for some trick-or-treating!!!)

~ (Chester): Oh man, this year is going to be the best Halloween EVER!!!

~ (Timmy): Hehe yeah it is!!! We're gonna get so much candy!!! (He said this while grabbing some toilet paper for his mummy costume.)

~ (Tootie): And I finally get to do it with the boy of my dreams!!! (She was putting on her werewolf costume to wear.)

~ (Trixie): I know right!!! But hey, I’m just glad that I can actually enjoy some Halloween fun with you guys for a change!!! (As she tries putting on her rather large “Bride of Frankenstein” wig on)

~ (A.J.): Not to mention that theres a good 85% chance of us getting the maximum amount of Halloween candy around the neighborhood this year as well!!! (He stated as he puts on the finishing touches to his Frankenstein’s Monster costume)

~ (Chloe): And the best part is, everyone's gonna be out tonight! So we're sure to get tons of scares with our candy too!!! (She puts the finishing touches on her Dracula costume.)

~ (Timmy): This is gonna be the BEST HALLOWEEN EVER!!!

~ (Wanda): Alright kids, you all have some fun, but be careful not to get too carried away with the candy now!!!

~ (Cosmo): OH! Relax Wanda, They’ll be fine, plus since it’s Halloween again, we could finally join in on the fun without nobody finding out that we’re actually fairies!!!

~ (Wanda): Oh my gosh, you’re right!!! I almost forgot about that!!!

(So while Cosmo & Wanda change into their Halloween costumes to blend in, Timmy & the gang decided to finally head out to their first stop around the block until they all see a rather bizarre & haunting sight that they all didn’t see coming.)

~ (Chester): OMG!!! I CANT BELIEVE IT!! Vicky is the new leader of the neighborhood watch!?

~ (Timmy): WHAT?! Vicky's gonna ruin our night and everyone else's Halloween night!!!

~ (Tootie): Awww we won't be having any fun at all this year!!!

~ (Chloe): Well what can we do about it?!

~ (Trixie): Well....can we just say something & stand up for ourselves? (she says while her large wig is flopping on one side)

~ (A.J.): I highly doubt it, since she’ll probably just bury us all six feet under if we say anything.

(While they all observe her from a safe distance, Vicky begins her plans for both collecting, confiscating & hoarding all of the neighborhood kid’s Halloween candy for “safety inspections” while also making rather mean jabs at their Halloween costumes as well)

~ (Vicky): ALIGHT, WHO’S NEXT?

(One rather small 6-year old girl in a angel costume soon regretfully hands her only Halloween bucket to Vicky as she just adds it to the ever growing mountain on stolen Halloween candy that she’s been collecting for the past couple of hours)

~ (Trixie): OKAY THAT’S IT, GUYS WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW!!!

~ (A.J): Well...I say that we might actually need some help with this....Y’know....maybe some “magical help”!!!

~ (Chester): OH!!!.....RIIIGHT!!!.....some “Magical Help”.....yeah, I don’t get it!!!

~ (Trixie): UHHH....Chester, I think he meant asking Cosmo & Wanda for help?!

~ (Chester): OH!!....RIGHT!! Why didn’t I think of that!!!

~ (A.J.): Hey Timmy, where are Cosmo & Wanda right now anyways?

~ (Tootie): Yeah, aren't they always with you?

~ (Timmy): (holds up a pink bag and a green bag, with their faces popping up) Yeah, they're always with me!

~ (Cosmo): Hey kids, anything you need help with?

~ (Wanda): Because whatever it is, we’ll certainly do it no problem!!!

~ (Chloe): We need to find a way to stand up to Vicky and stop her from taking away everyone's candy!!!

~ (Tootie): How can we do that?

~ (Trixie): Hmmm....maybe we can all wish for our Halloween costumes to become “real & scary” so we can pretty much scare her into giving everyone’s candy back.

~ (Chloe): Um....Are you sure that will-

~ (Timmy): (to Cosmo and Wanda) I WISH OUR COSTUMES WERE REAL AND SCARY!!!

~ (Cosmo & Wanda): UHHH...YOU GOT IT!!!

(As soon as the wish was granted, Timmy’s & his God-Sibling’s respective monstrous & spectacular transformation were about to begin along with every kid in the whole city)

(Every kid began to feel strange, especially the main six. That's when they all began to transform right in front of their eyes! From ghosts to barbarians to witches to princes to villains, everyone was turning into their own monstrously spectacular being from the costume!)

(Chester was the first to change as his body began to grow in size while also developing a nice shining coat of green scales all over his body like a suit of armor that encompasses his entire being as he also starts to sprout razor sharp claws, fangs & fish-like gills as a result)

~ (Chester): OMG!!! THIS FEELS SO COOL!!!

(Timmy was the second to change as his body began to grow in size as well. The tissue began to turn into bandage wraps as his skin began to dry up to make him feel like a real mummy. Luckily it didn't make him too dried, just a darker tone with some wrinkles to go along with some added muscle mass on his body to finish off as a result.)

~ (Timmy): AW SWEET!!! I'M LIKE A REAL MUMMY!!!

(Then A.J. was the third to change as he grew out the most as his skin began to harden & darken onto a dark blueish grey as he also gained massive amounts of bulky muscles to compensate for his new massive frame as even his own round head began to morph & change into a rather oblong square flattop with his normally fast speech & extensive vocabulary slowing down considerably)

~ (A.J.): WELL....THIS....FEELS....PRETTY....ODD!?

(Next up was Tootie, as she grew a lot as well. Her skin began to get covered in dark brown fur, with her gaining massive amounts of muscles as well. To compliment her new size, her face began to change in that of a werewolf's face, with some wolf like ears and a massive, bushy tail. Her clothes ripped a bit as her hands and feet turned into claws, her teeth getting sharp to top it off.)

~ (Tootie): (howls loud and prowd to the moon while flexing) I FEEL AWESOME!!!

(Shortly afterwards, Trixie began to change as well, as she soon began to rapidly grow in size & stature as her large wig suddenly began to spark up with static electricity with each jolt amplifying & expanding her normallly slim & slender body into a rather majestic muscular but athletic frame as her eyes began to glow with a eerie luminous neon green light as well as her skin beginning lighten to a deathly & ghastly whitish-light green hue)

~ (Trixie): HOLY CRAP!!! THIS FEELS SO WEIRD & AWESOME!!! I LOVE IT!!!

(And last but not least was Chloe, who was also growing as well. Her body began to turn pale white, her hair began to turn long and black and white streaks, while her chest bursted out some massive breasts, and her butt inflated to the size of a watermelon! Her fingernails got sharp, her teeth even sharper and turning into fangs as she suddenly had a craving for blood, with her eyes turning blood red as a result.)

~ (Chloe): HISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! WHY DO I HAVE A SUDDEN CRAVING FOR BLOOD?!?!

(So with their respective monstrous transformations finally complete, Timmy & the gang decided to seek out and find where Vicky is so they can all collectively give her the literal fright of her life!!! But when they encountered her, they saw her getting attacked by the other monsters, who were former kids who are now trying to take their candy back. Unfortunately, some of them haven't fully grasped of their new monstrous transformations and....went wild.)

~ (Chester): WOW!!!....Well....that was pretty brutal!!!

~ (A.J.): I...HAVE...TO...AGREE!!!

~ (Timmy): I think half of us should deal with Vicky while the other half deals with....everyone else...

~ (Chloe): Yeah because this is starting to become a massacre...

~ (Trixie): Uhhh...guy's....I think we got another problem to deal with at the moment.....LOOK!!!

(But as soon as she said that, the six god-siblings soon see a group of rich kids rapidly transforming into the terrifying Jackobots from the Crash Nebula Halloween Special they just saw a few hours earlier as the four mechanical monstrosities soon began to wreak havoc all across the city of Dimmsdale as they can only look in sheer horror as they all still trying to figure out on what to do next!!!)

~ (Tootie): Uhhhh....that doesn't look too good.....

~ (Timmy): Okay, one of us deals with Vicky, while the rest of us goes to deal with these Jackobots!

~ (Chloe): And just about every other raging monster in Dimmsdale!!!

~ (A.J.): UHHH.....GUY'S.....WHAT'S....THAT....OVER.....THERE?!

(So as the newly lumbering A.J. points his finger to the sky, a rather massive & familiar alien spaceship soon crash lands into the neighborhood as Mark Chang of Yugopotamia & his nerdy friends soon arrived on Earth to try and "save" Vicky from the horde of angry monsters' that are currently chasing all across town)

~ (Mark Chang): DO NOT WORRY MY LOVE hehe I, MARK CHANG OF YUGOPOTAMIA ......& MY FRIENDS, WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE EVIL MONSTER HORDE THAT CURRENTLY PLAGUES THIS PUNY PLANET!!!

~ (Tootie): Monsters, Jackobots and now Aliens....

~ (Timmy): I'm going to assume that we can't wish for everything to go back to normal yet.

~ (Wanda): I’m afraid not sport!!!

~ (Chester): And where have you two been?

~ (Cosmo): Oh! Well....we just been hiding in the nearby bushes this whole time to be perfectly honest!!!

~ (Chloe): Well....that's a bummer...

~ (Timmy): Does anyone have an idea on how to stop this?

~ (A.J): I......SUGGEST....WE.....SPLIT....UP.....IN....GROUPS..... OF.....TWO....AND.....

~ (Chester): SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!!!!

~ (A.J.): DIVIDE......AND..... CONQUER!!!

~ (Timmy): Two of us deals with the monsters, two of us deals with the Jackobots, and two of us deals with Mark and his crew.

~ (Tootie): Well I'm gonna be with you Timmy, so that way we can save the world together as boyfriend and girlfriend!!!:grin: (she grabs him and hugs him tightly.)

~ (Chester): I’ll guess I’ll go with Chloe so we can stop Mark Chang & his crew!!!

~ (Trixie): And I’ll go with A.J to stop the Jackobots from destroying the Earth!!

~ (Chloe): Now we got our partners, let's head out and save the world!!!

~ (Everyone): YEAH!!!

(So as the six God-Siblings decided to split up and equally divided their roles in teams of two, they all spread out across town in order to save Halloween and the Earth from certain destruction!!!)

~ (A.J.): ALRIGHT......ALL....WE....NEED....TO....DO....IS....TO...COMBINE....OUR.....ELECTRICAL.....POWERS.....AND....

~ (Trixie): And short circuit the Jackobot’s systems in order to shut them down!!! Brilliant idea A.J.!!!

~ (A.J.): THANK.....IT’S....WHAT....I....DO!!!

(While Trixie & A.J. are busy battling the Jackobots downtown, Timmy & Tootie are busy reluctantly trying to fend off the giant monster hoard from killing Vicky!!!)

~ (Timmy): (pulling and punching off one monster at a time.) Man, these monsters are hard to defeat!!! How are you holding up on your end Tootie?!?!

~ (Tootie): (pulling, punching and biting some of the monsters herself.) I'm doing as best as I can to defeat these monsters my future boyfriend!!!:grin:

~ (Timmy): oh brother....

~ (Vicky): Oh great!!! Just what I need right now, MORE MONSTERS!!!

~ (Timmy): Relax Vicky, it's just me and Tootie!!! We're trying to save you here!!!

~ (Vicky): Wait a minute, TOOTIE?!:face_with_raised_eyebrow:

TWERP, WHAT DID YOU BRATS DO?

(As soon as Vicky said that, the whole ground starts to shake as Mark Chang’s spaceship soon takes off as Chester & Chloe soon race towards Timmy & Tootie to help out with@the monster hoard!!)

~ (Timmy): That'll be explained later!!! Right now we're trying to save you!!!

~ (Chester): GOOD NEWS GUYS, we convinced Mark Chang & his friends to leave the planet..... for about two months!!!

~ (Timmy): It's better than 0 months!!!

~ (Tootie): Now let's hurry up and finish the job!!!

(So with the monster hoard defeated, all that’s left to do now is to somehow stop the Jackobots from activating the “Jack-O-Bomb” and destroying the whole planet!!!)

~ (Chester): OMG!! What do we do now!!??

~ (A.J.): CAN....ANY.....OF..... US....FLY?

~ (Chloe): I can fly!!! What do you need me to do?

~ (Trixie): Alright Chloe, all you need to do is to turn yourself into a bat and carry the Jack-O-Bomb & chuck it into outer space so that it could safely explode far away from Earth!!!

~ (Chester): And if case you were wondering if you can actually breathe in outer space as a vampire, don’t worry, you’re technically undead right now so you should definitely be fine!!!:sweat_smile

~ (Chloe): You got it!!! (Chloe turned into a bat and began to flap off to grab the Jack-O-Bomb.)

~ (Trixie): Man I hope this plan works!!!

~ (Chester): If not, it was a pleasure knowing you guys!!!

(Chloe grabbed and carried the Jack-O-Bomb, flapping up as high as possible towards the Earth's atmosphere. When she arrived, with time winding down, she spun around and toss the Jack-O-Bomb as far as possible into outer space, and just in time too! When it passed the atmosphere and drifted off, it created a massive explosion that everyone was able to see from down below.)

(So with the Earth finally saved, Timmy & the gang decided to wish for Cosmo & Wanda to change everything to go back to normal as their equally spectacular transformation back to normal was about to begin!!! So everyone in the entire world, including the 6 heroes, were all turning and shrinking down back to normal!!!)

(Chester was the first one to change back as his entire body began to shrink as his razor sharp fangs, claws & fish-like gills soon disappeared as well as his armor-like green scales started to fade away as well.)

(Timmy was next, as his skin started to turn back to normal, he was shrinking back to his normal size, and the wrappings around him began to turn back into some toilet paper.)

(A.J. soon started to change back next as his entire body started to rapidly shrink back to normal size as his skin started to soften & lighten up again as well as his head was beginning to reshape itself back to its normal round shape as well thus allowing him to speak in full sentences again!!)

(Tootie began to lost all her fur, shrunking back down into her normal size, along with her face turning to it's original self, her tails poofing off of her, her skin changing back to normal and her claws turning into hands and feet again.)

(Then Trixie soon began to change back shortly afterwards as her new muscular athletic body soon began to shrink back to normal as not only did her skin tone changed back & her eyes stopped glowing but even her rather large wig finally came loose and finally fell off her head as well.)

(And last but not least was Chloe, who was losing her fangs and her skin changed back to its peachy color, while her curves and her sharp mails changed back to normal. her clothes shrunk back down to her original size and looked like a costume again.)

~ (Chester): AWESOME!!! We finally changed back to normal!!!

~ (A.J.): But, we didn't get any Halloween Candy ALL NIGHT!!!

~ (Trixie): Ummm....I wouldn't say that, LOOK!!!

(So as soon as Trixie said that, all of the kids from all across the city of Dimmsdale all gathered at Timmy's house so they can give Timmy and the gang ALL of their respective Halloween candy as a way of saying thanks for saving all of them & the whole world from certain destruction!!!)

~ (Literally Everyone): HAPPY HALLOWEEN TIMMY & FRIENDS!!!

~ (Timmy): I knew this was gonna be the best Halloween ever!!!

~ (Cosmo & Wanda): THAT'S ALL FOLK'S!!

THE END

[fuyumiworld]

The EℓyXiOn : Chapter 0 : The Prophecy

The prophecy :

When the skies and the grounds were one

through legends, through their twelve forces,

nurtured the tree of life.

An eye of red force created the evil, which

coveted the heart of tree of life and the heart

slowly grew dry.

With tend and engrace for heart of tree of life,

the legends hereby divide the tree in half and

hide each side.

Hence, time is over-turned and space turns a skew.

The twelve forces divide into two and create two

suns that look alike into two worlds that seem

alike.

The legends travel apart.

The legends shall now see the same sky but shall

stand on different grounds, shall stand on the

same ground, but shall see different skies.

The day the grounds be kept a single file before

one sky in two worlds that seem alike, the

legends will greet each other.

The day the red force is purified,

and the twelve forces reunite into one perfect

root,

a new world shall open up .

Chapter 1 : Part 1

at the begin there was nothing and everything, I was no one and everyone. But then I became two, me and her, two halves of the same whole. We were the same in every way, but then we became different, in theory we were becoming the perfect complement of the other. I was becoming good and full of light, while my other half was becoming evil and full of darkness. I became The Tree, The Light. She became The Storm, The Darkness. As the space around us filled with galaxies, stars and planets we began to search for a home and we both knew where we belonged, The earth second moon, it was prosperous and full of life but most importantly whoever ruled The EℓyXiOn -we called it- ruled the universe. Until one of us truly ruled the universe there would be both joy and sadness, good times and bad times. I want to make the universe a happy place to live, where nothing ever goes drastically wrong. I give power to the planet,protect it by the unrealistic power of my heart. that is why I fight The Storm to keep the peace. I created my twelve protectors to help me prevent the universe from falling into my sisters hands, Each protector has a power unique to them, they live in perfect harmony with each other. my sister created warriors of her own to fight my protectors,they are called the Eye of the red force.Every one of her warriors is skilled in all forms of combat and has powers intended to help fight or confuse their enemy.

But neverless light can't exist without darkness.

I never thought that vice-versa was possible.

Earth may have once had two moons, but one was destroyed

In a slow-motion collision that left our current lunar orb

lumpier on one side than the other, scientists say .

Source : National Geographic

Chapter 1 : Part 2

Twelve young Guardians live in an abandoned and calm area next to a lake amidst impressive scenery. The Tree of Life presents itself in the middle of the lake, soaring powerfully. It’s been 100 years since the group lives in the lake house, facing their destiny as guardians of the mysterious force.

Of course they had scrutinized their destiny, tried to find answers to their questions so they know why they had been chosen

The tree needed help when the evil force would try to attack anew and the group would try their best to protect the Tree.

There was no light without darkness. They had to exist side by side, balancing the world out.

The group never saw the evil of the red force in its true form, just knowing it through madness, sickness, catastrophes and darkness. The only thing they knew is that the evil needed a trigger to attack the light.

The trigger was a certain Prophecy.

When the light would became vulnerable and weak, when the

darkness came over the earth like a big shadow.

When the sun would lose against the moon.

When the day turned to night.

It happened two times since the group was determined. They fought against it, saved the nature and all living creatures nearby before thered force could spread out their darkness further. It had come from below, sneakily like a predator who was approaching its prey. The group knew that something was living under the earth, under the Tree of Life, but they didn’t dare to attack it. Their task was to defend, not to attack.The tree had told them to be careful and that now was not the right time to face the evil.

So they waited.

It had been over 10 years already and they got used to their new life and surroundings. They grew up together and time passed.

Kids became young adults.

some Friends became lovers

A group became a family.

A group of supernaturals

These powers were beyond humans abilities. Something supernatural. Something great.

Junmyeon was their leader, armed with the power of water.

Fuyumi was the oldest member and female capable of freezing everything.

Althea took care of everyone’s injuries, blessed with the power of healing.

Baekhyun could light up the darkest places, not only with his ability but also with his kind heart.

Bronte was able to control thunder and electricity, being energetic like a lightning.

Chanyeol was the tallest of them, being on fire – literally.

Kris ,The tallest after chanyeol,The only one with a pet,a Dragon-yes you heard me right- and he had the power of flight

Kyungsoo might look angry, but was very rooted to the soil, able to bend the earth.

Kai was the grown up kid with a contagious laugh, teleporting from place to place.

Noa ,Laasya older sister,Is graced with Telekinesis.The ability to bend and move object to her will but also ppl hearts with her cuteness.

Tao ,The quietest one,the most "Normal" one of the guardians and the least to use his power which is Time control

Laasya was their youngest, a bit too spoiled and sassy in the others’ opinions but loved, endued with the power of wind.

It was not easy at the beginning. They had to get used to each other, understanding the others’ thoughts, fears and worries. There were fights, quarrels and tears, but their bond got stronger and stronger with every passing obstacle. The fight against the evil force made them realize that they had to hold together as a group. Their powers were strong, but alone you were helpless against such a strong opponent.

They had responsibilities due to that powers and the Tree of Life armed them with it to defend the good. They had to learn to use it, to control it, to live with it. It wasn’t an easy commission, but they managed to train them as good as they could.

Five rules should remind them what they were and what task they had to fulfill:

1. Never use your power against humans or any EℓyXiOn citizen

2. Never show your powers to anyone except the group.

3. Don’t lie to the group, be honest.

4. Never fight alone. If your partner is disabled, join another team.

5. Be always reachable.

Those proved to be incredibly hard in the present time

A partner.

Everyone had one. A counterpart. since they are twelve, there are six duos.

Junmyeon and Fuyumi

water and ice.

Chanyeol and Kris

Fire and flight

Baekhyun and Althea

light and healing.

Kai and Noa

teleportation and Telekinesis

Kyungsoo and Bronte

Earth and Thunder

Laasya and Tao

Wind and Time control

P.S: Duos dosent mean soulmates

P.S 2: When one of the duos die.His counterpart heir his powers.

Chapter 1 : part 3

With that, the group called Themselves EXO, lived their daily lives, having hobbies, work and duties. Little did they know that the red force was going to strike again real soon, coming out of its hiding with new energy, presenting with darkness that would hide the sun:

The solar eclipse

Big sacrifices should be made.

The war between the red force and EXO was vicious.Blood was spilled and none of both parts wanted to give up. The red force and Elyxion cyitizens wanted to take over the tree and it's heart. To finally control the universe.

The tree was dissapointed of the ignorant,Selfish and greedy citizens it protected.

So it decided to put and end to everything.

The EℓyXiOn crashed into the moon,The earth moon.

Two moons colliding into one

The world is dark and barren, no signs of life as far as the eye can see. Twelve men woke up in a sunless sky, confused and lost. One of them takes the lead and walks towards a tree that is withering. Following him, they form a circle around the tree, and the leader touches his hand on the trunk.

"Legends, you have finally awaken." A solemn voice speaks to them, as they glance around and look at each other. Their world is destroyed, Now where could they run? Was there any place on the planet where they were safe? There had to be...there just had to be.

Earth...of course

"Divide me into half and hide me, so that the Red Force will never succeed." they did as they were told, two men stepping forward as leaders and each holding a half of the tree. Before they could speak to each other, a blinding light makes them civer their eyes. When the light fades, the leaders find themselves wih five others, separated into two worlds.

The legends shall now see the same sky but shall stand on different grounds, shall stand on the same ground, but shall see different skies

They’re twelve—they’ve always been twelve. To not be twelve is unfathomable. Their lives before each other are difficult to remember, difficult to think how they could’ve gotten by without each other. To be without each other—it’s unnatural. And the gaping hole in their group right now—it’s driving them insane.

They had never imagined it could go wrong like this. Never in their wildest dreams did they picture the scene that spread out in front of them—the carnage, the heart ache, the sheer disaster of a trip.

It was a red moon,The sign from Althea to indicate their meeting. They meet once a year. 24 hours to share with each other their news.to crack jokes.to have this sweet lie.to feel that life is back to normal before they seperate again . across the earth and it's parallel version.

But that year,They never expected to loose everything all at once.The red force took them by suprise,attacking them so suddenly they couldn't even comprehend what was happening.

In seconds Tao,Althea and Kris were gone.died in front of the other Guardians eyes.In the middle of it all The half of the tree of life was stolen.The red force dirty hand were on half of the tree of life.God knows what she was going to do with it.

Things couldn't get any worst

Or maybe It could

ATTENTION! This is an important public

service announcement. South Korea has

joined the coalition of nations dedicated to

eliminating the threat of persons with

unnatural abilities. Anyone who has

information is urged to call this number:

9-325-6439. May the world remain forever

safe.

The red force turned the tables on that again.Humans always feared the unknown, and The red force used that weakness for its advantage . And now humans turned against the same people that protected them.

Ripped from their homes and wiped of who they once were EXO are left to fight for their survival but in an ungrateful world, it is no mean feat

"Will we ever be happy, hyung?"

"Given the circumstance, I don't think we ever will."

End of chapter 1

[sledclock17]

Exactly How To Dry Carpet After Cleansing.

20 Finest Cleaning Products, According To Specialist Cleansers

Content

Armstrong 330408 When 'N Done Concentrated Flooring Cleaner, 1.

See Some Photos Of Our Client'S Floors Prior To And Also After Our Professional Cleaning Process.

Unger Easyglide Soft Rubber.

Take Pleasure In Cleanser, Healthier, Protected Carpets With Our Business Carpet Cleaning Service.

Karcher Carpet Cleansers.

Review Of Bissell Big Eco-Friendly Deep Cleansing Maker.

Get rid of discolorations swiftly using spot stain eliminator or a carpeting cleaner accessory. Avoid leaving discolorations to settle in the carpeting since you think you can remove them later when you do your scheduled carpet cleaning. The discolorations will be more difficult to eliminate and also might remain in the carpet. The cleaning option that includes your carpeting cleaner is made to combine with water and clean your carpeting thoroughly without damaging it. The majority of carpets are pre-treated, yet you still require to clean them routinely with water and cleansing products to eradicate dirt and also dirt.

For sticky, oily discolorations like electric motor oil, food grease or lipstick, usage Hi-Traffic Pre-Treatment. Discolorations from food, ink, dust and unknown substances react well to Spot & Discoloration Eliminator.

Armstrong 330408 When 'N Done Concentrated Floor Cleaner, 1.

A top-notch rug heavy steam cleaner can get rid of around 97 percent of your rug. Even better, it reaches to the pile or lowest layer of the carpet, cleaning it completely. One have to likewise keep in mind that carpet cleaner leasings don't come with free cleaning services, so renters might require to buy the option each time. On the various other hand, rug cleansers are a single financial investment as well as one can get the carpeting hair shampoo by the bulk so in the long run, it's more affordable.

How can I clean my carpet without a machine?

Create a solution of one part distilled vinegar and three parts cold water. Spray it onto your carpet fairly liberally, and allow it a few minutes of contact time. Then take a microfibre cloth, and start gently blotting. Don't scrub, otherwise you could damage your carpet.

They did an excellent task, and also I'll be using them in future. Undergo this broad selection of brand-new, used, as well as manufacturer as well as seller reconditioned rug cleaners as well as youll discover a variety of popular brands available like Vax, BISSELL and also Kärcher. Typical alternatives include 4 in 1 multi practical wet and also dry vacuum cleaners, carpet washers and blowers and also pet formula cleaners. Theres a substantial series of carpet cleaners readily available on ebay.com appropriate for residences, autos, furniture and also also expert cleaning company such as auto valeting. Fill the reservoir of your Carpet Physician with hot water.

Do carpets get dirty faster after cleaning?

To save time, some carpet cleaners put the detergent into the cleaning solution being used. https://www.refin-ceramic-tiles.com/read-the-faq/what-is-the-best-way-to-clean-your-ceramic-tile-floors/ leaves a lot of the detergent on the carpet after the cleaning has been done. As a result, the carpet is sticky and attracts dust and other particles allowing the carpet to become dirty quickly after cleaning.

When dealing with pet dogs I can extremely suggest the BISSELL ProHeat 2X if you manage hard animal discolorations. With numerous pet attachments and features this cleaner receives the most effective pet dog carpeting cleaner now. The Hoover Powerdash Family pet is a great alternative if you desire an economical yet great carpet cleaning device. The drying out time differs, relying on the sort of rug you have and its thickness. Some rug cleaners aid with the drying procedure, while others take in dust.

Is steam cleaning bad for carpets?

The reality is that steam cleaning leaves your carpets sopping wet, which can damage your carpet over time. If not properly dried, sopping wet carpet fibers can ultimately lead to mold and mildew growth—something you don't want affecting your indoor air quality.

Extremely dirtied places ought to be pre-soaked and also the cleaning agent solution should saturate for 5 to 10 mins. The more delicate the surface the reduced the cleaning service focus must be. As a landlord, I have to have my home expertly cleansed between renters, as well as not satisfied with my previous carpet cleaners, I found Tidy That Carpeting. They lost no time at all in getting down to function, and also soon the carpets were pristine throughout.

The solution from beginning to end was extremely specialist however likewise kind and mindful to my requirements.

I had a water leakage that came via the ceiling and the refurbishment created dust all over and corrosion damage to a carpet I actually value.

I'm very amazed with The Carpet Cleaning Business.

I would most absolutely recommend this firm very.

Barry did a terrific job the other day on my 2 seater sofa and also carpetings.

For your rug, upholstery, patio, conservatory or home window cleansing look no further.

I had my 3 item suite cleansed also, the results were excellent, particularly the rug, which is of terrific nostalgic value to me.

See Some Pictures Of Our Customer'S Floors Before As Well As After Our Professional Cleaning Refine.

Tactically area box fans in the space after you've cleaned up the carpeting to assist the rug completely dry quicker. Many rugs will dry out completely after a few hrs after you have actually cleaned them. Bissell rules the carpet cleaning and vacuum markets, together with Hoover.

As well as, it is an excellent as well as flexible multi-purpose house cleanser too. Fortunately, there are a lot of top carpeting heavy steam cleaners that can give deep and competent carpet cleaning.

A number of them have a split container or more containers to keep the filthy water from infecting the clean water. A great deal of storage tanks also have actually a specially made spout to prevent spills when you put the water.

Nevertheless, you should take into consideration making use of professional cleansing options designed to deal with commercial carpet cleansers for finest results. Keep in mind that Walmart does not lease typical vacuum cleaners. You can, nonetheless, also rent out carpet cleansers from other shops; see our related articles for the expense to lease a carpet cleaner at each shop and the very best rental carpet cleaning equipment. We likewise detail how to rent Carpet Physician rug cleansers from the majority of Albertsons grocery storesor Safeway grocery stores. While hoover can work wonders, a rug cleaner will certainly obtain the persistent discolorations and dirt out of your carpets when they need an extensive tidy.

Unger Easyglide Soft Rubber.

There are also some models that actually mix the cleaning agent, so you obtain the best water-to-formula ratio each time. These rug cleansers are additionally substantial and also big, so you have to have a vehicle that allows enough to move the device to and fro to the store. Plus, you can't quickly attend to spots before they embed in like you can when you have a carpet cleaner. For all the problem you have to go through, you only get to rent the cleaner for a day or two.

Vapor Device services do a disservice to specialist carpet cleaners. The tools utilized is typically are not of expert top quality and also typically has been mistreated, used and dirty. The product made use of in the devices are dust attracters and also usually cleaning agent and also soap based. Rental companies recommend that you use a specific kind of cleaning solution with their vapor cleaners. For instance, a business might make one sort of cleaner for furniture and one more one with a more powerful concentration for rugs.

Do it yourself carpet cleaning is a simple and also budget friendly task for homes of all budget plans and also skill levels. Whether learn more by visiting this page clean up areas & stains or periodically clean all the carpetings in your home, possessing a carpet cleanser has guaranteed advantages.

Besides, it is just one of the closest things that specialist house and also carpet heavy steam cleansers use. As well as, it is suitable for individuals who cleanse their indoor area usually and have a great deal of area to cover.

I am 75 cleaned every type of carpet on the marketplace over the years, with my own services. Now have this lovely carpet cleaning maker of my own and the days of scrub brush as well as container more than. Have my own dish, it works, my rug are tidy, fresh, spots remain gone and also the carpet does not have any kind of film left on it from any type of item.

Everybody's always seeking good carpeting cleaners, however exist solutions that will do steam cleansing of hardwood or laminate floor covering? I've never seen any kind of businesses similar to this in my location ... they all simply do carpeting and also upholstery. We 'd suggest the exact same testing for any new solutions as in the previous answer. A lot of carpeting cleansers function vigorously to eliminate spots. Vacuum your carpeting one or two times a week, depending on just how much website traffic it receives.

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Pick a time to cleanse the carpeting when it can be left untouched later on for hours. Constantly vacuum the rug thoroughly prior to utilizing the carpet cleaner. Warm water up to an optimum of 50 levels Celsius will increase the cleaning effect.

Karcher Carpeting Cleansers.

Amazing as well as it just cost me about $5.00 for the 3 room house as well as my time. Sorry but I can not say anything regarding your web page yet you are pressing your services.

The cleansing service will spray right into the carpeting, and afterwards suck back up again into the dirty water tank. Though some spots are almost difficult to get rid of completely, pretreating helps to boost even the dirtiest carpeting. Rug Medical professional suggests utilizing their products to pretreat spots.

The maker suggests adding 1/2 cup of Carpet Medical professional Carpet Cleaner to the water for the dirtiest rugs, or 1/4 mug of Carpeting Cleaner if your carpets are only gently dirtied. Turn the equipment on, and also start gradually walking backwards across the carpet, pulling the Carpet Medical professional from one side of the room to the other. On gently dirtied Floor Wizards , the maker suggests relocating at a speed of one foot per second, but very filthy carpetings need a slower speed of one foot every 2 seconds.

If you are seeking an exceptional heavy steam device that cleans up targeted dust as well as discolorations successfully, opt for the McCulloch MC1275. With its efficient spot cleaning proficiency and power, you will no doubt love this leading rug steam cleanser.

According to the Bissell internet site, the business offers upright, mobile, and cylinder carpet cleaners. Bissell additionally offers substitute parts, accessories for all their existing machines, and also some older versions. You'll find anything for your carpet cleaning needs from Bissell. While some people do make use of homemade cleaning services for specialist rug cleaners, there is no warranty of excellent outcomes with DIY recipes. Rug Doctor does not require tenants of its devices to utilize its cleansing option items, so you are complimentary to utilize various other items.

Why does carpet smell worse after cleaning?

The leading cause for a bad-smelling carpet after cleaning is that the carpet backing absorbed some of the moisture in the process and is still wet. If not dried properly, the underlying material becomes susceptible to mildew problems, which can cause the musty smell.

Testimonial Of Bissell Big Eco-Friendly Deep Cleaning Machine.

Treat family pet crashes as well as various other physical liquid stains with Urine Eliminator. Spray the suitable treatment onto your carpeting's filthy spots, and also allow the formula take in for numerous mins while you ready the Carpet Doctor machine for cleansing. Residential carpet cleansers are less complicated than ever before to make use of.

[sailorwritesstuff]

Because of you. Thalia Grace x trans!boy reader

Trans!boy = born a Girl who is a Boy.

This is set before Annabeth is Kidnapping in Titan Curse.

This may hit you in the feel. i'm sorry.

Y/n pov

I was getting ready for the day. I put my binder on. It was a (skin/tone) colored sports bra on. I slide a T-shirt over it and slip my pants on.

I walk A walk outside and to the Athena cabin Annabeth- My Best Friend- walked out right on time. She takes my hand and we walk to train before breakfast. Our friend ship was full of friendly gestures we had been friends since before Thalia and Luke. Our gestures usually made people think we're together. While Annabeth is Bisexual

(theres proof)

Annabeth is into the Son of Poseidon,

Percy Fucking Jackson.

I can't hate him for taking my bestfriend every summer and not leaving any time for me to see her. They were saving the world.

But I can hate him for throwing my life out of Balance. As the only Child of Hestia I like my life and family as orderly as a demigod life can be. Being 60 and looking 15 isn't all that great.

I was born in 1947 and trapped in the Lotus Hotel at the age of 9 .

Aphrodite was the one who finally got me outta there. Annabeth snapped me out of my thoughts and sayed she was going to the bathroom and kissed my cheek. I could feel someone staring at us...glaring at us. I look around and see Thalia Grace my kinda sorta friend. Its been really awkward with us because the last time we saw each other I was 9 and she was 13 we sorta had a moment. But its stupid I was Nine and there was a 4 year age difference now there's only a few month in between us.

Thalia PoV

Annabeth is like a sister to me but my feeling for Y/n are getting to me I missed so much in 7 years that I can't get back. 7 years of things Annabeth knows that I don't. She-They cut their hair down Short really short.It suits them.

But one thing I don't know that Annabeth does is their relationship with Annabeth. They were always holding hands or kissing cheeks. I've seen Annabeth SIT on their lap one mor than one occasion and it driving me nuts.

Y/n

Why is she glaring at me? Does she... does like Annabeth? Thalia walks over to me.

"So you and Annabeth huh?" She asked "nah but between you and me she's into someone else."

"oh"

"Promise me something?"

"Anything." her voice was airy kinda Dream like almost but I didn't think about it much.

"Protect Annabeth with your life."

"I will..."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

~After Percy and Thalia return.

"Cabin leader meeting!" Clarrise barked at me.

When I get to the big house I see Malcolm at the Athena seat around the ping pong table. Thalia wasn't looking at me.

PERCY wasn't looking at me!

"Where is..." my voice cracks. What if she's died? what if she's dying right now?!

"We don't know Child." Chiron lays a hand on my shoulder. I push it off. "Don't touch me." I mumble. Thalia tried to hug me. " (Meaningful nickname) please..." I felt myself go hot as my hands and hair Caught on fire.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T CALL ME THAT! This is your fault you promised me you'd protect her." I fell myself trying not to sob.

"Why?" Thalia asked me.

"What?"

"WHY ANNBETH?! SHE CUDDLES NEXT TO YOU AND SITS ON YOU LAP! YOU KISS AND HUG ALL THE TIME. I-I WANT THAT WITH YOU!" Thalia begins to form electricity around her body. "And I can't have that. why her why not me?"

"Because you died you abandoned us,all three of us and Luke is like this because of you."

[missjackil]

My Diary to the SPN Finale

Day 4. 

I overslept my alarm and was almost late for work. Normally. I have a terrible time staying asleep. Most of you who message me know Im up at 4am sometimes. My life is very stressful so its very hard to sleep, so when I wake up at 4am I always put the boys on, watch one or 2 episodes and go back to sleep/ Last night and the night before however, I slept straight through and past my alarm. “This is great!” one may think, but I spent all day exhausted anyway. What I think is happening, is that even though my body is too tense to rest, it knows to spend an hour or 2 with the boy's won't help. 

I went to work, forgot what I was doing a bunch of times, and forgot how to do some things I've done a bunch of times. I have to make up excuses, I can't say “My fav show is ending and I'm devastated” or people will think I'm nuts. 

At work, all I want to do is come home. But at home, my kids are breaking my heart, my pets are making me insane, and my house is falling apart, and my “security blanket” now feels like jagged sandpaper on my heart.

I'm not a drug user, nor much of a drinker (socially at best) but how stupid is it, that now I want to do both?  Im actually jealous now of those who can drink or pop enough pills to be numb. My vice is smoking. Yesterday I lit a smoke when I left work and a customer said “That shit will kill you” and I answered “I sure hope so”  Im going to give you all a little background history of me, Its ok if you stop reading now, but follow along if you dare😳

Im 52 and have had clinical depression my entire life. At the very least since I was 4. I dont know how it started but its been there as long as I can remember. needless to say my childhood sucked. Anything that could go wrong did. Im terminally single, unattractive, and perpetually poor even though Ive gone to college twice and have 3 degrees. Ive had 4 failed suicide attempts, my first was when I was 12 and ate 30 +\- asprin which only gave me bleeding ulcers and liver damage and 2 years of therapy that was worthless.

In Jan 2014, my life changed. I came into a good sized inheritance from an uncle who was a retired Army Sgt (mujch more about that I dont know other than he fought in Korea) and was left $50,000. (as were each of my sisters) I didnt go nuts and spend this right away, my daughter, father, and I were living in a decent apartment and  was saving it for a down payment on a house. My sisters all used their money to pay off their mortgages and other bills. I was looking for a nice house to buy, but even with $50K I wasnt sure I could handle the property taxes and utilities that had been previously covered by my landlord. My father decided that stairs were no longer something he could handle, so he moved in with my younger sister, so decided that I would just pay a lot of up front rent on our apt and stay there a few more years, but no, the landlord informed us they were selling in 3 months and there was no guarentee the buyer would want to rent out our unit. 

Then my car died, which was what was getting my daughter and I back and forth to work. Now I have to dip into the money and get a car. I got a $7000 used car that we shared and as soon as the warrenty was up, everything failed. After spending $2000 for repairs and it was still falling apart, I get another one... cheaper this time, but hey, it runs. 

Time goes by, we have 30 days to move out, as predicted, the buyer didnt want to rent our unit out, he wanted to move his mother in. So now Im scrambling to find something to move into in 30 days I find a trailer that seemed like it would be a good fit for just me and my dauhter, lots of room, 2 bathroom a nice yard. Im just about to buy said trailer and the park informs me its been sold because a buyer offered cash. Im like “Ummm I have cash too!” and theyre like “oh.... we were unaware.... but hey we have another one for you” and this one is much smaller, but a newer model so it wont need as much work. With 2 weeks left to move, I reluctantly take it. Now, we move, but with no one and I mean absolutely NO ONE to help us, we left 90% of our belongings in our old apartment because we cant lift shit and neither of us could rent a truck, we only brought what we could carry out. and I had to spend the rest of the money on furnature. Of course I lost my security deposit and also had to pay an additional $2000 for “clean up” of my old apt. 

Fast forward to March 1 2015, Im back to broke but still working my ass off. My dryer is broke, my AC and heater, the back door has been leaking quietly for so long you cant step within 2 feet from it or youll go through the floor. Theres a crack in my bathtub that has leaked under the house and is causing my back yard to slowly sink. My daughter works and together we can afford the lot ren, utilities and food. Nothing extra though. We were saving to start fixing things but trying to decided what was most important, and what was most costly. The dryer is cheapest, the leaky tub and sinkling yard is the most expensive but HAS to be done at some poijnt. I buy space heaters and wall unit ACs but that gives me $300 electric bills LOLOL. However I am introduced to SPN and these wonderful boys that I love instantly, and gives me an escape. Helps keep me sane. 

We get things almost together, then suddenly, my father died from the flu Feb 1st 2018. This day was the worst day of my life, it was also the night Various and Sundary Villians aired and after all the tears with my sisters and trying to get arrange,ents made, ALL I could think of was coming home and just escaping into my boys for a while. And I did, and it was a blessing. However, within a couple months, my younger sister and I are hit with my dads bills. Hospital bills, credit cards, car payments on a H3 Hummer he bought a few months before. My older sisters didnt get hit with this because they’re his step children, just my younger sister and I do. $30,000 of debt split between my younger sister and I. I havent been able to pay on any of it because they dont give me any option for low payments. Its like “$1500 by whatevermonth 30th or we take you to court” My sister is handling it ok because her husband makes $$$ but not enough to help me too. So, right now Im just keeping my house heated and my kid and I fed and my lot rent paid. Soon my wages will be garnished and I wont have that either and it will be all on my daughter. Now, my escape, the last thing in my whole world I enjoy is ending. So yes.... Im hurting. 

[bangtan-ballum]

what i remember from the interactive introverts show in belfast (28.5.2018) SPOILERS

 this is all from memory so quotes and the order may not be completely accurate but close enough.. *pretty detailed spoilers*

- before the show began and the playlist was on, 'dans siri' kept interrupting saying "this is dans siri he left me to go look at some memes i hope you’re enjoying the playlist" and it telling us there’s no recording allowed and to turn our phones off or "ill beat you up only i cant because i’m just an ipad"

- the playlist had bts mic drop and red velvet peek-a-boo and everyone started singing and dancing to it and i was shook so many were fans of kpop omg i was liVING. 

- explaining his tweet "the weirdest thing happened, sorry if you’re here but omg that would be weird, we were sat on a bench and then this little boy wearing a fedora walked by, stopped, looked back and did this *tipped his hat* like was that directed at me?? there was no hello, nothing! and then he waited and did it again?!" he asked phil if he seen him and he said he did. dan said "phew if you didn’t i thought, i’ve just seen god, god just came to me in this form to judge me. and if he did id be going down (to hell). i am not prepared for that" 

- talking about the stage and the amazing graphic design and the two big i's at the side of the stage and dan said "look at those long boys" then called them phallic 

- a photo of dan inspired by my horse prince with the caption "ride me senpai" and phil said it was from his own personal files so he doesn’t know how that got there.. 

- phil saying they want to get to know us better but bc theres not enough time for them to take us all out for a coffee and a chat (how cute, and then everyone became soft for them and said aww) so they decided to try to get to know use all at the same time

- the audiences collective name was karen

- "you’re just not there yet. you need to get inside karen" *dan looks at phil in disgust* "phil...join karen, connect with karen" dan later goes onto say "get inside karen" and phil says "see you’re as bad as me" 

things dan and phil will not be doing tonight: 

- 'erotic role playing': *phil wearing a police helmet and carrying a baton* "officer(maybe captain) phil(maybe philly) here, danny’s been a bad boy" then dan appears holding handcuffs "please be careful with the handcuffs i have sensitive skin" 

- the show will also not be a live viewing of dan and phil in their apartment. they then showed videos of them doing things round the house and phil was eating cereal out of the box and dan was on the toilet. 

- the show will not be a giant party with all their friends and they put party hats on and then the voice said “no because none of the people replied to their messages bc they have no friends. none.” lmao 

- the show will not be them stripping and they ripped their shirts off to reveal they had the same shirt on underneath

- "unleash the bees" then "sting me daddy" by dan ofc 

- they tested themselves and had to say the same thing under the topic of "kitchen objects" and they both said whisk and said that they never say the same thing and that was only the second time they’ve done that and they were so happy about it omg

- when doing the simulation part dan was in his fur suit and had to go to the toilets but the men’s was locked and the options we had to choose from was to "ask someone for the passcode" or "use the lady door" (i know) and dan went on to say that this is why we need to diminish the concept of gender and everyone clapped and cheered omg i love him

- during the how many think we know the real dan and phil bit, dan said something about how we know certain thing (that i dont remember) and how we know some of their kinks 

- dan being v concerned about how we kept cheering for satan and judged the people of belfast for seeming happy to be making a deal with the devil lol. 

- during the sacrifice of dan (what context?) phil came out in a leather apron with gloves and said he is wearing his best serial killer outfit. 

- phil getting ready to shoot a spinning dan with an arrow and says "forget katniss everdeen, this is philniss philerdeen" 

-phil misses the board and hits dans hip and dan said “if that was 5 inch to the left then we would not have been friends anymore”

- dan trying to get off the wheel and phil asked if he needs to unstrap him and dan said "i’ve had enough of you unstrapping me" idk if he actually said that but i s2g that’s what i heard at the time and how i will remember it LMAO 

- dan had to untie phils apron and the audience died and dan was done with all of us. 

- phil saying it was distracting watching dan get out of his padded suit and then dan tried to sexily get out of it whilst phil was talking and phil stopped and stared at dan and said "im just gonna let him do it" and so in the end we all just watched as dan struggled to step out of it and then literally also tripped. then a few minutes later he realised he still had one of the shoe protectors on his foot (he called it a shower cap lol) and then took it off and awkwardly walked to the side to set it down then awkwardly walked by and laughed under his breath.

- according to the audience dan has a stress mushroom, apple and a girls motivation locked in the box under his bed. dan was extremely concerned as to why she thinks he has locked an apple in the box. and everyone laughed when the other girl said her motivation and dan said "i too have my motivation locked in a box and i’ve lost the key" 

- phil saying the key to dans box was v 50 shades of grey bc of the red ribbon

- at some point they both said a word wrong and both times they did The Thing™ they do when they mock each other when they make a mistake.

- 'phantastic phacts' as a title on screen. phil says "like what we did there?" 

- dan saying his phil trash #1 

- phil saying “put your nipples away” (when a photo of a topless man appeared on screen) and said it in some type of accent LMAO i died

- dan saying they are super best friends and soulmates -im dead- 

- wholesome howell and x-rated lester made an appearance (they swapped roles and were given topics and phil had to make good things sound bad and dan had to make bad things sound good) also when dans photo of him as an angel with a halo and a rainbow behind him, he looked at the audience, smirked and said "its very fitting" i would like the think he meant the gay ass rainbow behind him but y’know. 

- dan saying to god "implode me daddy" when he had to make the topic of the world imploding seem appealing. phil laughed under his breath and said “never say implode me daddy again” 

- *phil having to make meeting beyonce sound bad and he said bc hes so clumsy that he'd trip and kill her and was really dramatic whilst saying it and dan was stunned and just looked in shock at phil then us and said "are you as traumatised as i am right now" 

- dan having to make stepping in a puddle while wearing socks seem good and screamed and said "NO that is literally the worst thing in the world..ok you dont appreciate dry feet until suddenly they’re not. once a day we should all put on a fresh sock and go to the kitchen and step in something moist just to remember-" phil interrupts shouting no and dan continues saying "do you ever feel like you need a drink. well, with a wet sock you can just- *lifts his foot to his mouth and everyone dies on the spot* 

- dan and phil struggling to pronounce all the irish names and everyone was screaming how to pronounce it and dan made everyone be quiet and squealed "wAIT. just one person" LMAO and then the one time phil said a name right and everyone cheered for him 

- dan would happily become an amazing dancer even if it meant phil would wake up with 2 left hands and 2 left feet because he says it wouldn’t make a difference in phils life bc hes that clumsy now it’d probably be the same with 2 left feet. 

- phil would save dan from being bitten by a vampire even though it would mean that buffy the vampire slayer never existed. they talked about how the vampire could bite him and he could live forever as a vampire and phil said he would bring him bloody treats (then dan referenced to before when phil was x-rated lester*) and said "what kind of bloody treats?? omg it would be beyonce he killed beyonce and will feed me her corpse" then said "no what if they just want me dead" and then phil decided to save him. 

- dan thinks this phil without the fringe is an impostor and he killed the real phil. he screamed a couple of times throughout the show to ask where the real phils body was and said will get him to confess eventually. 

- "are you really just a lizard in a phil suit..because that would explain a lot" phil is a scalie confirmed. 

- phil constantly squatting/slut dropping to the buzzer sound effect 

- i cant remember the context but phil said something about him having layers and dan stopped and said “layers?? are you shrek? what do you think this is, shrek the musical?”

- phil had to say dans biggest fear and he said moths, and it was wrong so he got an electric shock and dan said "wHAT NO! ok right i have this thing where i hate anything underwater. like imagine you’re in the sea, what are you scared of? sharks? woop no, whales? no. but there’s a boat and beside the boat there’s a buoy and attached to that is sLIMEY CHAIN. EW NO. i’ve got submechanophobia. (i googled it i think that’s what he said idk) so its not moths, phil you know that!!" 

in the deep chat bit: 

-they talked about phobias. someone submitted saying she had a phobia of balloons and asked if she was weird and asked what they’re scared off. phil said "no you’re not weird. everyone has their fears. whats yours dan" and dan said "as we discussed before, things underwater, slimey things! uHH. but yeah i get that, its the anticipation of when its gonna pop and that’s stressful" and asked phil what his was and said "i’ve always had a thing where i was scared of the deep sea ever since i was a kid. also, not that its really a phobia but, horses. i don’t like them i don’t trust their intentions. like imagine waking up one day to a horse in your bedroom" lol 

- they talked about procrastination. talked about how changing your environment, like "doing a very not dan and phil thing" and going for a walk (dan squealed at the thought) could help distract your mind, getting some fresh air and then going back to your work with a different mindset. then talked about how phil has the need to reward himself when he does something and said that he always says to himself that if he finishes a certain task that he will reward himself with a marshmallow. and then said that if you reward yourself with something that it could motivate you to finishing whatever you’re putting off. dan said phil is using the example of a marshmallow but that he really does this and that he tells dan not to let him have the marshmallows until he finishes whatever he needs to do. dan then said that even if your procrastinating school work or whatever to just write the first word, or try writing a few sentences bc atleast you’ve started it and if you start writing that you could get into the mindset and keep writing until you finish. 

- they talked about making a youtube channel. someone submitted that he has started a youtube channel about reptiles and if they had any tips. and dan said "omg stephen. phil is probably already subscribed" lmao. phil praised him for starting a channel about something he is interested in and how its bad to start a channel just for the views and the subscribers. then said that instead of talking about what hes going to do, he should "just do it, show us that lizard" and dan said "yeah dont start off like "hi, so my name is [stephen], nice to meet you. ive always wanted to make videos about reptiles but i never rea-" lmao 

- phil saying bitch in his disstrack oh my god 

- the song at the end: "hey buddy can you give me some editing tips" 

- when dan was playing the piano and phil was singing and said that even though they’ve been friends for so long they’ve never fallen out and then starting listing things they could fall out over eg. phils dying houseplants, how dan never goes outside, phils vision is blurry and dans a furry. 

- for the most inaccurate prediction of interactive introverts someone submitted "2 hours of dan and phil twerking to the teletubbies theme tune" and then dan proceeded to twerk whilst singing it and saying the teletubbies names.. 

- d: "its basically two oscars tied together" p: "oh and they’re naked, look at those butts" d: "wow statues of two naked men tied together may not be the best thing to have when its meant to represent us"

there were some really soft things they said at the start and the end, and how we were there bc were happy(?) (i dont remember the exact context or quote but it was something like that, all i mind is that it was v sweet) and idk i just love them omg it was the best night!! 

[tumblunni]

Its similar to how those american blender sink trash shredder things scared me until i learned it has safety to detect if a hand is near it. I didnt kniw the technology was that complex so i was quite worried! And i feel like that would probably make it too expensive to be implimented commonly in the uk. We kinda have a lack of space so new houses are always being put up and theyre generally quite small and basic. I dont think building companies in general wouod agree to changing the default requirements to include 'luxuries' like complex safety plug sockets or a sink shredder that isnt horribly made and deadly. So even if they were introduced to britain theyd probably be a luxury for higher income families. I mean ive even heard that pay-as-you-go electricity isnt common in america?? Like EVERYONE has the pay monthly version?? The one that cant just be automatically turned off as soon as your payment is overdue by even one single second?? And they dont have 'standing charge premium' where if you dont use enough electricity to meet the company's predictions they charge you extra until youre paying the same anyway? That fuckin sucks ans i am PRAISING THE JEEBUS that my new house is fancy enough to have the proper pay for what you actually use version.its so insidious how poor people literally have to pay more! And you have to drive long distances to find very specific shops that let you pay the thing, and theres always a bunch of frustrating rules about what payment methods you can use and they also close at like 4pm. Man SO MANY times ive had my electricity looking totally fine and then BAM STANDING CHARGE its all gone all of a sudden and i have to walk miles in the pitch black 2am to find the one singular 24 hour garage in st mellons that does electric paypoints. Seriously the whole concept of a standing charge makes me wanna stab someone, its like a loitering fine for plugs! 'youve been trying to save money by using less electricity than you need, HOW DARE YOU'. Or eveb just 'you are one person in this house but our records are outdated and everyone in the street gets treated as a 4 person family so we say youre using too little'. And even if you start using the reccommended amount they never remove the standing charge, once youve got it its just forever unless yoy switch electricitu providers and pay to get the box changed. Also sometimes the box is in a really annoying place! I had to go outside into the garden to use mine and my sister had it indoors but it was so high up on the wall she had to go on her boyfriend's shoulders. And cos its just How Its Done they never do anything to change it and any supposed attempt tp change it is just making the same broken system slightly easier rather than addressing the actual problem. "Now you can get one of our Smart Meters that let you pay your pay as you go electricity via debit card and give yoy a notification when you get a standing charge!" Yes but CAN I JUST NOT HAVE THE STANDING CHARGE GEEZ?? It kinda reminds me of how my american friends tell me that welfare works over there? Food cards that can only be used in certain stores on certain stuff and its all abritrary and awkward for no damn reason. Here you just.. Get the money. And you spend it like money. Not that food card things dont exist but they are very rare emergency things that you generally only get given if you applied for benefits on short notice or theres some other issue preventing you from just getting it sent to your bank in actual cash form. Not that there arent also shitloads of annoying ways they try and push people out of gettibg benefits that they need, in the name of 'preventing fraud' when fraud has never even totalled even 1% of all welfare recipients and the goddamn 'fraud protection' takes more government money than actually givibg benefits to everyone wjo needs it. Sigh!

So uhh yeah what was i talking about? This kinda just devolved into discussibg differebt ways that governments and big companies are assholes in different countries. *shrug*

Also i want a weird blender sink.

[katedoesntexist]

Stay-at-home journal 2/4/21

Yesterday:

Worked

Calculated paint for my room and bathroom

Ordered some bookends since my shelf will be here soon

Watched dr who w partner

Today:

Work

Again maybe write but maybe not

Shower

Free space:

Lots of leg pain all day yesterday. Still some this morning. And then another day of trying to go back and forth between sitting and standing to keep things from getting worse. 8 hrs a day my body deteriorates but i feel like ive literally all i can do abt it.

I remembered the dream i forgot the other day. Part of it at least. I was walking the path behind the grocery store here and there were snakes every where, which was kind of cool but also i didnt want to disturb or upset them. Then i saw a huge fat one. Something in its body itd recently swallowed was moving a little and crying. It turned out the snake had eaten a human baby. I called 911 but the snake started to leave. I followed as much as i could, but lost it. The baby was still alive and i couldnt save it. Stress dream for sure.

This morning i woke up thinking abt pride and prejudice and trying to remember all the characters names. Weird.

We're coming up to an important milestone on my work project and its rly touch and go rn. Just a few hrs ago someone found a critical issue we need to resolve. We still havent evaluated everything, and i dont know that we'll have time to respond to more issues if they arise. Im worried.

But besides my leg i slept well. Warm since weve turned the heater up. Oh but hilariously we realized our heater is on gas, not electric. So our gas bill skyrocketed last month. Would be nice to use all that freaking solar power we're generating but oh well. Gonna be honest, idk if i like gas. Its heats faster and in general is more efficient than electric, but ugh. It worries me there will be a leak (gas always leaks to some extent, and usually it isnt a dangerous amt), or that something on the stove will be too close. Ive always wanted an induction stove, they seem cool, but theres no real reason to switch. And partner has been talking abt doing a tankless water heater after our current one dies. Anyway, house stuff.

[chimcharstar]

ANSWER 1 THROUGH 65 HO

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

WPOOOOO LETS GO 

Y E E T

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

nnnnooooooo. its called holding onto my last marble.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. sometimes i can freak myself out going to the bathroom at night but bro. i take walks at like 11pm or whenever the hell i please. and i LIKE IT.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

i would not care to meet dick face

4. What is your favorite word?

worm

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

well darn i dont really knowwww!!!!!!! the big jungle one from minecraft. but i love weeping willows of course.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didnt think

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my pyjama shirt from new vegas. las vegas. oh my god. not that i went there. my friend did. ive been wearing it for 3 days now. because its fine.

8. What do you label yourself as?

androgynouOOUUSSSSSSS i heard it described the most accurately for me as “in between blue and pink, purple is a blend while not being either of them.” yes this SPECIFICALLY. i could never be feminine while female presenting, but now that im usually read as masculine i go around seeming gay as fuck. and even though this sounds like heresy considering how i instinctively want to throat punch people who feminize me, i have comfortably considered myself a woman lately ONLYYYYYYYY BY being as butch as a butch can possibly butch. maybe without the cars. i would NEVER go by she/her NEVER NEVER NEVER. like there literally are butch women who go on T and use he/him pronouns. that brings me euphoria too and i find people reallllyyyyyy get mind-bent at this point. i really also get irritated at the idea that identifying with both lessens one or the other... thats why i like the purple thing so much. like im 100% of the thing. i was watching on queer eye, once, there was this part where all these women met up and one of them who was really masculine was saying how “a woman can look like this too” and i was like “i am probably crying for an important reason right now” and sometimes i feel attraction to women that is nOT of the ManTM just... i can do what i want. 

but my point is it’s like im only happy if i have a blend. theres even a particular quality of it i can put my finger on, like a rugged, handsome feel... and then a flamboyant, passionate feel... mix em all up... 

9. Bright room or dark room?

BRIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

transition juice, or fucking around with cs paint with some gentle existential dread

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this one, because my life is not hell, and i know a few basics about adulting now

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the sister. i said it for damage control because she had blown a fuse the other day. i was being very fake on purpose because i’m not being vulnerable with someone who will blow up. when she says it all i feel is pain. like cold paralyzing needles in my soul. i cant say i love you to her and mean it, even if i want to. honestly i wish people would say this to me. the most i love yous i remember are from family members putting band aids on the wreckage of our relationships, so i can feel a little twang of guilt and longing for what could have been and should have been. and feel like i should be doing something more. and feeling awkward because you both know they fucked up and it’s the elephant in the room. and i can feel their confusion and sickness causing them pain, feeling that pain for them. 

13. Your worst enemy?

hmmm. anyone who made me feel like less than i am. anyone 

14. What is your current desktop picture?

cherry blossoms and a city at night that i stole off the internet

15. Do you like someone?

like like crushes right? i fucking wish. i am so god damn sick of myself. i dont feel fuck or shit for anyone. its a fucking wasteland. yes im on T so i want to fuck anything that moves. and yet? can i please have some feelings? please may i have some feelings? not aesthetic appreciation. not moral, personality appreciation. or even just a deep respect and compassion. these are all fine things of course. but cant someone just drive me crazy? cant i have that extra spice of life? cant i just have a little bit of happy crazy? i will know a perfectly lovely person and ill WANT to have feelings for them. but i FUCKEN DONT. I DONT!!!! SHIT!!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANIGN?!?!??!??!?!1 i have fucking YET to meet anyone im more obsessed with than some really gay ocs. come on universe!!!! bring it!!! poor oscar. poor fucking oscar. whatever wavelength im vibing on man you are not on it. i wish you were on it. i wish you were on it oscar. you are hot you are hot with your bike oscar. and the rose quartz i gave you. the rose quartz you wanted. but i feel no authentic electric connection to you. i feel like all i just see is how your brain works with a coolheaded certainty. all i do is analyze what you are wearing so i can be as hot as you. maybe id like to draw you. and girls from work. you are so beautiful and amazing. i see you in bikinis on instagram. and im like oh beauty standards. look at you go, adhering to them. my heart rate goes right along at the same old pace. dont tell me this is principles. does someone have to smell bad? like edward cullen?? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST SEDUCE ME?!!!?? ID LOVE SOME EXTRA WILL TO LIVE! THEN MY STORIES WILL BE BETTER!!!! see this is the whole problem

16. The last song you listened to?

what am i to you by finn the human or actually that asgore fight song that i do not know the context of and dont want to until i play the game for myself

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

i would save this button for a karen.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

jk rowling. every time i see her face in a news article about why her bland new transphobia anvil book is pretty bland without addressing the raging transphobia in it and around it, i take a minute and contemplate shoving a pie in her face, and agonizing that i cannot do it from this distance.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

a... slave? is this a kink thing? im fucking laughing this is going to be so honest. probably a toxic person from my past i have unresolved sexual tension with, especially since i was in my abused kid shell and was a huge doormat so now im all vengeful with issues. since this is totally something i am open to considering right now i would like to browse this concept’s menu

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

yknow what? yknow what? i am just going to say all of me. i am feeling very body positive right now. i often feel isolated as fuck because of trans stuff and male body standards, but thats Also What Makes Me Special :) i like me, i like my face, i think i am very cool and unique, and i can walk fast.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

GOD DAMN IT THIS FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

yes. but it’s a secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

deep sea creatures. idk. even if its small and not even ugly. i just lose my fucking mind. i jump out of my chair. i get the heebies and the jeebies.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

okay. chicken. cheese. something spicy so it wont be boring. a fuck ton of veggies so i can be healthy. and some olives, fuck olive haters.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO MY LANDLORD <3

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

mexico city to see what all my friends are talking about.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

............................................................................

w    h       y

okay. i would go around tasting a bunch of fucking. really fancy old wines. listen i dont really drink okay. but with a very fancy old wine i can go around with a like, glass and look really sophisticated and tell gay things to gay people. hello boys. so id find one that strategically i would like the most for the rest of my life and choose it. and if its expensive i can sell it.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i would stick a bell in the middle of it and all of us have to go there at six o’clock and throw bread at each other and fuck.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

cunt. i dont really use it ever, but boy it can pack a punch! 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

that means my trees because theyre living things? good. my phone. i need it to function. everything else i have on the clouds and i can just write on a napkin if i really need.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

:( 

i wanna say nothing because the good and the bad made me who i am and all that. and they’re learning experiences and healthy stuff. but some of my sisters abuse that has destroyed my psyche, literally just ruined my life, it would make things easier if that hadnt happened.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

WHAT I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS LIFE STOP TELL ME HOW I GET THERE

Okay i’m moving to... greece and i’m going to study ancient greek everything and live right on the edge of the sea where the water’s lapping the doorsteps. and im gonna learn greek by immersion

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

i am not surprised whatsoever death is a cool entity.

probably someone who died really sadly and too soon in my life (no one close to me thank god) but just as a service to society

34. What was your last dream about?

wolves with bombs were chasing me around a giant university. it was all part of the game. i was trying to protect some people... soldiers were chasing me... i was hiding under the floor... hiding from authorities and war are VERY common dreams for me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Writer? Yes. am i saying that to sound full of myself? no. i am fighting very hard to maintain some self-confidence. i have done some writing recently and i am proud as fuck of myself. i caught myself thinking, “now that was banging, i know that was banging.” and so i just admitted it to myself.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

nooooot reeeaaaalllyyyyyy. i went in an ambulance for my face swelling up! still dont know if i needed to. still think i was allergic to the person i was talking to at the time. seriously when i stopped talking to them the hives went away. they literally gave me hives sdjfnskjndsjknfkjsfnjskdnfdsjknfjknf

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

they have inuyashas on them

39. What type of music do you like?

dark, longing, aching, angry, raw, disappointed, serious, low songs that get intense as fuck.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises for the concept, sunsets for the looks

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

you know what? i dont really like milkshakes. they dont feel good in my tummy even if it’s not my stomach having a fucking meltdown.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

the fuck is football

43. Do you have any scars?

yes, most of them are from dermatillomania, two big cool-looking ones on my hands from touching a cookie sheet without an oven mitt and pouring microwaved coffee all over my thumb because literally every inch of the counter had a foot of dishes on it and i didn’t simply heat up the water normally because everything was dirty

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i want to be a psychologist and an author

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

id like a dong please

46. Are you reliable?

yeeeeeesssssss...... but the adhd wins sometimes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

future self: even if you’re in a worse off place than where i am right now, don’t regret anything, don’t beat yourself up. sometimes it’s realistic to have hope. you don’t have to be hard on yourself all the time just because it’s familiar and natural to you. so stop thinking “if i see a note from my past self ill be filled with rueful self awareness”

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes. i feel like im saving my soul a little and taking some power back when i am able to say “that hurt, that was wrong, and you don’t get access to me anymore, i don’t have to forgive you” it’s admitting that my own pain is real so i can listen to and protect myself. i wish i was more of a forgiving person but i spent too much time trying to forgive unorganically for the sake of being moral that i just can’t, can’t can’t now. it hurts so existentially and i deserve better. time for me to be mean and hold grudges. a little mean is okay.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a DOG  CAT????????

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

“doesn’t having a human-shaped robot with smoke coming out of it in the corner of your shop scare you late at night?”

“yes, sometimes i see it and jump a little”

51. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i’m dedicated. getting my birth certificate back? oscar worthy

52. How long could you go without talking?

i live like this lmao

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

once upon a time i had bangs. and a bob cut

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

yes bitch

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

yes bitch i can do a convincing british accent but i don’t want to broadcast that fact because being british is cringe and plus my name is gordon and im already trans and interested in cooking and my greatest fear is that people think i am trying to become him when i am deeply offended when people assume i make personal decisions for anyone other than myself. no one has ever actually voiced this theory to me but it haunts me late at night. i can honestly probably do any accent if i listen to it for a little bit. i find it very easy to imitate sounds and like individual speaking styles to the point of stealing them even when i dont want to. like actually this is something that just comes to me easily i think.

56. What do you like on your toast?

fuck toast. i make a grill cheese. cheese and garlic.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

i tried digitally painting a generic girl who ended up looking really simliar to someone i went to school with only i made the eyes way too small and i would show you except it’s too much work

58. What would be you dream car?

vw bug with giant monster wheels, black with flames, big booming stereo. eyelashes in a drag way. ill run pickup trucks off the road

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i sang in the shower back when i felt free to annoy everyone in the house. oH WAIT IT DOESNT ANNOY PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND TO ME

...........

they taught me i was annoying. ANYWAY. i am too shy to sing in the shower but id love to. i dont really do anything unusual except that i take really long in there but yknow im not actually doing what people think im doing when i take long. im literally just sitting there decomposing, head empty.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yes, of course, i have been telling everyone theres water under mars since day one and now look. now look

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yes. im a sagittarius and clearly it is needed because CLEARLY theres no other fucking sagittariuses

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

G, because my name starts with that and i’m just great. really, i like... it has a chonk to it. like a reliable chonk to it

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

YKNOW WHAT? im going with dragons because of the fantasy, fire breathing and so on but yknow for my wip i was going to have both dragons and dinosaurs at a reptile like shelter

64. What do you think about babies?

i think they should be loved and nurtured, but they are too much work for me to want for myself at this point of life, and you should definitely read some manuals before having one if you can because people can and do mess this the fuck up

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

you didn’t ask anything here so im just going to tell you something. i am going to tell you that i have always been so hell bent on writing even when i hate it because sometimes when things are going well i feel like i am just so in another world and i feel like im doing something im really really supposed to do. it is such a euphoria and it has an effect on my whole aura. i really wish i had never made myself stop but we can’t change the past so i shall just have to never stop again.

THANKS HOOOOO