#santa.................

[strawberry-selfships]

HO HO HO

My sweet rabbit.

I .

I I I SAW THE THE INBOX NOTIFICATION AND ALMOST MADE A POST THAT SAID "LETTER FROM SANTA" LIKE AS A BIT

BUT BUT I

man I really shouldve now! it wouldve been really funny. AH WELL at least I know my gut radar for things is still perfectly in tune

ANYWAYS!!!!!! .......!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 !!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAH .. !!!!!! AAA

aw god I know it's SO so so busy for you this time of year (GOOD LUCK ON CHRISTMAS BTW!!!!!! I KNOW IT'S SOON SO GOOD LUCK) so,,, thank you for taking a moment to remind me you're actually here AAUAUHSDFKJS JSKFBSJSEEEE & ME SPECIFICALLY ,,,,, <3 & && & & & SUCH A SWEET NAME TOO AAAAHGNGKJGNHNGHhgnsnghksgnsgbwkwhbwwhfbwkf thank you santa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[chetungwan]

I've been real busy lately because it's December and I work at the post office, so of course I am

But that doesn't mean I can't show up with an unprompted PSA

Hey! Have you ever mailed a letter to Santa Claus? Have you ever wondered what exactly happened to that letter? Well wonder no longer! If it had a stamp and a return address, then odds are that it ended up on the USPS's Operation Santa page!

Every year, the USPS collects letters to Santa Claus, and processes them to black out any identifying information. Last names, addresses, things like that. Then, the letters are posted on the Operation Santa webpage and people can adopt the letters.

Once you adopt a letter, you can buy gifts for them, wrap them up, and package them. Then you get a barcode from the website, and bring them to a post office. The clerk there will scan the barcode, which prints out a label with the address on it, and sends out the gift.

It's anonymous on both ends, and is generally just. A really nice thing to do.

I highly recommend it if you have some money to spare this year and want to give a kid a moment of magic this year

It's one of those things that the post office just happened to be positioned to do, and ended up knocking it out of the park. Unfortunately, I don't think they advertise this nearly well enough, and most letters end up going unanswered

Hopefully, a few more will be answered this year

[uredrunk]

[artbyblastweave]

My conduct this year landed me on Santa Claus's fabled and controversial "Kill-at-all-Costs" List. Turns out the reason the big man and his people don't exercise that option more often is that they really aren't good at following through on it. Well outside their core competency. He's delegated to the elves, and they've got this ingrained assembly-line mindset that doesn't translate at all to the adaptable and fluid mindset needed for siege breaking. They just haven't adjusted their playbook at all from when they're doing rote deliveries. Armed Elves have been rappelling down my chimney one at a time into the roaring fire I've kept going nonstop for the last week. They haven't even thought to try my front door yet. Whole house smells like peppermint, which it turns out is what burnt elf meat smells like. Thought I was being super clever putting cyanide-laced almond milk out with the cookies as a last line of defense, but none of them have made it even the scant few feet to the side table where that's sitting. At the rate things are going the real danger is that I'm gonna forget what I did with that and accidentally drink it myself while I'm watching the show

[bebs-art-gallery]

Krampus V.S. Santa by Mr. Werewolf

Krampus Compilation

[foldingfittedsheets]

Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".

[alistairdraws]

Kringle's Conundrum 🎅

[prokopetz]

Some of my favourite pieces of Christmas media are the ones that are straight up Evangelical propaganda, but they don't want to appear as such, so they copy and paste Santa Claus into Jesus' place. Like, I appreciate the hustle, my dudes, but I cannot begin to explain how many heresies you just promulgated.

[dunmeshistash]

Daydream Hour - Laios' Party & Christmas

[theotherendcomics]

Patreon

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[plumbum-art]

My Secret Santa gift for @saglaophonos! A comic for her post-s2 fic you do something to my patience

[christmasxmas]

[larasoak]

time to be dramatic, time to be goth, halloween is near...

( find me on instagram! )