#sandman agere

[katsuthelittlekitten]

🅶🅾🅳...🅻🅾🅾🅺 🅰🆃 🅷🅴🆁. 🆂🅷🅴'🆂 🆂🅾 🅿🅴🆁🅵🅴🅲🆃, 🅷🅴🆁 🆂🅼🅸🅻🅴🅴🅴 😩😩😩

[littledollll]

🕊️

Prompt~ so maybe r has some form of an eating disorder and lucifer finds out when god gifted him R. So they try to encourage R to eat and celebrate the small wins. So when R willingly asks lucifer for more of a food (idk cookies?) so they were given 3 but they ask for 4. So lucifer says they can have 5 showing r they can have as many as wanted But r only wants 4. Lucifer is like amazingly proud of their r and gives them lots of love if you can use lucifers wings then bonus point~ shy anon

Comfort in hell

Lucifer Morningstar x little!angel!reader

A/n: It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these! A little too long!

Warnings: Mentions of possible ed, hell being scary, shy reader, soft Lucifer

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Of course Lucifer knew better than to just expect you to be okay. Hell was purposefully a scary place, there’s no way around it but something about how tense, scared you constantly looked made them want to provide at least some type of comfort.

You were an angel, one forced out of heaven simply because The Creator wanted you gone, you don’t even know why, you were confused and hurt. Not to mention utterly terrified of hell.

It wasn’t Lucifer you feared, they nursed your back to health and had been nothing but caring after all. It was just everything around you, the constant noise, the smell that would be in the air the second you stepped out of the castle, the constant fighting and screams.

You usually kept to yourself and Lucifer was patient to give you the space you wanted and needed, but you couldn’t be terrified forever, at some point you’d have to get used to the new environment. Though this was something you got acclimated to slowly, with their help of course.

Every so often you’d leave your little hideaway and silently join Lucifer’s side, it could get quite lonely there, and being around them seemed to make all the chaos go away, they took no issue with it, infact encouraged you do it more often.

Sometimes you’d come running and crash into them, the way from your hideout to them felt scary and you wanted nothing more than to be next to them, where it was safe again. Lucifer would wordlessly pick you up and hide you in their arms, continuing whatever they were doing as if you didn’t run out of nowhere. It became a normal occurrence and others quickly learned to stop questioning it.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

As you quietly sat with them at the table you shyly took their hand, fidgeting with their fingers and sleeve, making Lucifer look at you with a reassuring smile. Zoning out came quite easy for you when you were around them which made meals and regularly more challenging tasks a lot easier.

Lucifer had noticed you rarely ate, and when you did it was sparingly and only when Lucifer reminded and joined you. So they did, every time it was time for food they’d go with you and get really anything, just to make you feel less alone.

You’d always feel more inclined to eat after they did, so it took Lucifer by surprise when you were first to grab what you wanted and ran to sit back with them, mindlessly munching on your food. They wouldn’t bring it up. You were happy in your own little world and that’s all Lucifer could ever ask for.

Then came time for desert and like always you grabbed 3 cookies, it was like a personal rule you set for yourself, Lucifer had never seen you have more than 3, until today of course.

“One more?” Came your quiet voice as you looked up at them practically bouncing in excitement. Lucifer smiled your way before replying, “You can have as many as you’d like, even more than an one, little angel.” You shook your head. “Jus one!”

Lucifer handed you the one cookie and they wished they had snapped a picture as your face lit up when you grabbed it and ran off. They did note your sugar high and to be careful about it, but that only made you even more adorable so they’d let it slide at least for today.

Once you settled back at their side after running and playing around they wrapped you in their arms, hugging you tight. “I’m so proud of you little angel, you have no idea how much.”

You were blissfully unaware of where this all came from as you were a bit distracted, busy being fascinated by their wings as if you don’t get to see or feel them on a daily basis. But it was still nice to hear, it made you giddy and self assured.

“I did good?” Your tone was bright and happy, also relieved. You didn’t really know why you wanted to know you did good, but seeing Lucifer so happy with you made you happy as well.

“You did good. I’m so proud little angel, I couldn’t be happier.”

[agerefandom]

Regressor!Desire Headcanons

Desire is most comfortable in their sensual aspect, but they are a multifaceted being, like all of the Endless

there are other desires that run deep in most creatures, and Desire is beholden to them in nature, however much they may shy away from the idea

and some days, Desire is ruled by those simpler needs, the humming wants that are with us from birth: to be held, to be surrounded with soft things, to feel safe

Desire does not leave their realm on these days

they are much more comfortable as the object of desire, or with passion easily fulfilled: these deep infant cravings are something that Desire does not want to claim as part of their nature

they find themself restless in form on these days: human, feline, celestial, arachnid, each form with their own instinct for safety: some solitary, others craving companionship

on the worst days, Desire often settles as a black widow spider, spinning webs in the corner of their heart that will catch no flies

more often, they curl up as a cat on one of the couches, or go out to seek their Sister, Despair

Despair has her own experience with regression, and asks no questions when Desire visits as a cat, twining around her ankles, or as a human with restless fingers that won’t stay out of their own mouth

Desire also has playful days where they fall into regression without even noticing, following beauty in flowers and prey through the forests, enjoying the sunlight on their skin or fur as their form changes to suit their pleasure

still, on later reflection, they often feel unsettled by these days, and the parts of themself that they prefer not to cater to

[babyjop]

Silly little hc but I think one of the go to activities Hob would do with regressed Dream would be making hand turkeys :')

It's artsy and Dream likes that, also it involves birds which is a huge plus and tracing the hand/covering it with fingerpaints might feel good sensory wise. And Hob would get to keep a ton of hand turkeys for his "art Dream made while regressed" collection

[babbiekou]

Hiya I am that Sandman agere anon from IWishThereWasMoreOf. I wasn't to sure who you where saying you where writing for from Sandman. But if it was Morpheus perhaps they could do some drawing together or make dreams together? Maybe the reader could be messy(as i am very messy even when not little) and he could help them clean up. Honestly I'm so starved for Sandman agere I'll take anything though!! Thank you I hope you have a lovely day :D(I would also kill for some Hob if your open to that lmk)

Heya nonnie! Your ideas are freaking awsome!!

I did mean dream yeah! I'm a big fan of cg dream so this is excellent soup in these trying times of only four agere sandman fics. There really should be more, for hob too

I hope I can put it into my fic! I'm imagining like fingerpaint and stuff which brings me great joy. I'm busy w other things atm but I'm gonna keep thinking abt these scenarios anyway lol and see what comes out. Sorry in advance if I never end up writing it :/

You have a wonderful day too 💜

[dervampireprince]

ASMR | The Sandman - Dream x Listener SFW Calling To Dream When You're Regressed

[M4A] [Established platonic or romantic relationship] [Regression comfort (left vague as to whether it's age regression or pet regression)] [Left vague enough that the listener can you or Hob]

I'm so happy Dream was finally requested again, I love doing his voice so much, something about voicing him just makes me excited and perhaps gender euphoric. Based on a Patreon request. Not That Eli asked "I would love to see a Dream regression audio, whether little, or puppy, or kitten (hello, king of cats!)". AceofHearts asked"A regression audio with Dream 💞 I bet he could make the listener feel so small and safe if they were regressed in the Dreaming."

.

Old public spicy audios on sound gasm (link in pinned post). 2 Exclusive spicy audios on Patreon every month. I also stream on Twitch every week @ dervampireprince . [minors + ageless blogs dni. this blog is for 18+ only.] [do not repost/reupload/edit any of my content]

[canidkid]

I need to push my regressor!Corinthian agenda again !! 🍦✨️🌙

Rare bonding moment between these two. Lucienne is usually the one taking care of little Cori in the dreaming.

More regressor Cori agenda

-> 🔪🍦 headcanons

-> 🌙✨️ moodboard

[ccreations]

[littledellprince]

Dream as a caregiver <3

• you give him inspiration to create, "what do you make of this nightmare, my sweetheart? What shall we name them?"

• He lets you wander however you like, his raven is usually supervising. His only rule is that if he calls for you, you must answer/return to him.

• Dream is very understanding and never leaves your side during negative regression.

• "Little dreamer/one/love, my little darling." Just little🥺

• Morpheus can be firm and most times impatient. He invented being overprotective too.

• Bedtime stories consist of true stories that he's actually experienced.

• Dream allows Hob to babysit you whenever. you’re always excited for playdates with ‘Hobby’; he feeds you well, and its fun to watch him drama-tically play out his experiences just to see you giggle.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

[moremoththanman]

wazzup! my name is Luis. im transgender ftm (he/him), bisexual, and i love all things metal, cryptozoology, and fandoms.

i make art and love talking about films and shows such as Metal Lords, IWTV, Good Omens, Arcane, Deathgasm, Metalocalypse, OFMD, and many other things.

i’m also neurodivergent. i don't like to make a big fuss about it since it's not my personality or anything, but its a part of me that I don't feel should be hidden.

i’m bilingual, i speak spanish and english, along with bits and pieces bunch of random languages i started learning and dropped after like a week lol

i was born in Louisiana (Lafayette) and yes it is my whole personality, yes im ashamed (and cajun!).

i have an age regression blog under the name @moremoththanbaby. please be gentle with me about this even if you think it’s cringe because i fuckin suck at taking care of myself and it’s the one thing i can crawl back to. i know that’s dark but im just being honest, it shocks me how ruthless people are about something that doesn’t affect or hurt them

-everything aside, have an amazing day/night and thank you for your time. you’re loved and appreciated always :)

a list of my dni:

-racists

-homophobes

-transphobes

-nsfw/kink blogs (i’m a minor.)

-rude/hateful people, don’t kill my vibe

-dream stans or just dsmp enjoyers in general

-people who support israel and/or don't support palestine

-anti age regression blogs

-ableists

-people who make jokes about serious things that happen to people (r@p3 jokes etc.)

[softpawpup]

doing the 25 days of agere moodboards !!

day 11: a character u want to be ur caregiver

ive been fixated on morpheus from sandman recently... i think he'd be a really good caregiver!!

[littledollll]

🕊️

Another prompt for you darling~

Prompt~ r needs to be little like showing their usual tales for it (maybe fidgeting, messing with their sleeves, starring at lucis wings and biting their lip in a need for a tether etc I trust you with the tales) and luci sees this and keeps asking if they need to be little. R says no because it’s not a good time for them to slip and they know that. R wants to stay big and do a good job for lucifer.

Later on R slips and comes up to luci and and goes “da!” And touches their wings. And luci is happy to see their little angel finally giving into their own needs and reminds them to trust “da” because luci only wants them to be happy.

~ shy anon🕊️

#shyanon🕊️

Babbles

(Little angel universe, side shot)

Lucifer x little!angel!reader

A/n: honestly have no idea why this took me so long but I love it sm u don’t understanddddd, excuse the awful amount of space at the end it’s the only way I can work around this new stupid character limit

Extra prompt: very tiny r curling up in lucis wings

No warnings I think

☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾

You’ve always been a fan of showing your affection, truly no matter the setting you’d have an arm linked with Lucifer’s or be content as long as you got to sit next to them, pda wasnt an issue for you and Lucifer, and anyone who cared enough to comment on it would be reprimanded.

Here’s the thing though, there’s different types of affection you showed, and Lucifer noticed the way you’d tug on their sleeve or poked them for their attention instead of just calling them. How you seemed to be talking less and less and when you did you’d jumble your words, and mostly how your eyes darted to their wings more than usual. All of these being things you do when you’re little.

“Love, do you need to slip?” You shook your head, parting from them again. After every message you’d come back, and seek out Lucifer’s warmth, only to be sent back out within minutes with another message or reply. “Come on pouty, off you go.”

______

Again a few hours later when you finally had done everything, and got a chance to simply exist with them, while they worked of course.

The fidgeting, how you’d absentmindedly bite your nails, how your wings seemed to be hiding uncomfortably against your back and you would cling around them every chance you’d get. They attempted to ask again only to be interrupted. “Nu-uh don’t even say it. not the time” but they were right, you needed to slip.

“You’re stressed, Angel your wings should not be this tense.” You thought you were good at hiding it but they’re not stupid, of course they’d notice.

“Don’t ignore your needs, my love. Other things can wait.” They tried convincing you, but your stubbornness was greater. “I can also wait, I’m fine! you have work to do and I happen to be a great distraction apparently.” You pouted.

“If you’ll excuse me I’m going to find mazikeen, since she won’t fight me and tell me to slip while you finish whatever that is!” You stormed out in faux anger, it’s always fun to be dramatic. Lucifer huffed out a laugh as your made your way out.

_______

Not twenty minutes later you were storming back into the room. “mm da!” you ran to Lucifer with open arms, practically crashing into their chest and meeting them with a bone crushing hug. “up up up!!”

Lucifer chuckled, picking you up and settling you on their hip. “hello there little dove, that was quite fast, did something change your mind?” your hands absentmindedly smoothed over their wings, of course, what else was Lucifer expecting?

They went unheard, you were busy messing up their hair, which made Lucifer playfully glare at you, you giggled and continued, there was really no threat in doing so and Lucifer could fix it in seconds when they needed to.

“No work?” They gave you a nod and you exited my kicked your legs. “we gos now?” Lucifer chuckled and wrapped both arms around you as they made their way out. “You really hate the office that much?”

“Mm! Taks away da!.” You huffed rubbing your eyes. “We’ll limit office time for my little love then, I think it’s time for a little rest no? Long day for such a tiny one.”

______________

All while complaining against sleep you made your way to the floor picking up one of your stuffies and poked luci for attention. “Yes, my dove?” “da!” “What’s wrong, tiny?” you babbled something Lucifer could not possibly understand, but it seemed to be in a happy tone, so Lucifer just agreed.

Your communication was reduced to differently energized kicks that they eventually figured out some meant anger and others giddiness, little hums with again different tones of approval and disapproval and then impossible to understand babbles that they interpreted just by energy what whatever body language you attempted to show.

Occasionally they’d get another poke, or the somehow still energized “da!” When you really required their attention, otherwise they settled for watching over you, just making sure you didn’t do anything unsafe or somehow get hurt.

________

Soon enough Lucifer noted how often you were rubbing your eyes, little yawns that you tried to hide escaping you and how you seemed to be a little extra cuddly, it’s time for bed. “Come on tiny I’ll help you up, it’s bed time.” You babbled out some type of complain before reluctantly making your way to the side of the bed.

You giggled when Lucifer effortlessly lifted you up and got you onto bed. You curled up to their side, hugging tightly your stuffie, your little kicks didn’t come to a stop nor did your babbles as you seemed to be having a super interesting conversation with your stuffie.

“da?” Not so energetic this time, barely above a mumble. Lucifer didn’t need to ask, pulling you into their chest, wings enveloping you, making it dark yet safe, and perfectly warm. You nuzzled closer to them with a satisfied hum, letting your eyes close and sleep take over.

“da?” Not so energetic this time, barely above a mumble. Lucifer didn’t need to ask, pulling you into their chest, wings enveloping you, making it dark yet safe, and perfectly warm. You nuzzled closer to them with a satisfied hum, letting your eyes close and sleep take over.

[agerefandom]

Now, I’m not going to launch it for a month or two but I’m still loving the idea of an agere-centric rp blog with a group cast from a single fandom!

Logically I should want to do a big fandom but I really do not control the writing passion, so here are three (relatively small) fandoms that I really enjoy putting my own specific touch to writing!! Which would you like to see in an rp blog?

I’m thinking of starting on sprites for the blog, and I’d have intros so people can interact with them like OCs if they’re not into the fandom.

[babyjop]

Hiii! I hope im not bothering you too much with my my asks-

But this has been living rent free in my head-

how do you think siblings of the endless and Hob would help Dream when he’s sick? I just find sick fics so cute and Dream, especially when he’s small, would be such a little crybaby 🥹

-that one anon from before

Hey, sorry for not answering for so long!! Real life has kind of been hitting me really hard 😅

And don't apologize for sending asks, I'm always happy when I see one in my inbox and it flatters me that people enjoy my content so much :D

Dream is already a crybaby under usual circumstances when regressed so I definitely think that would increase if he were feeling poorly. I do think that he doesn't really get sick in the "normal" sense, but my personal hc is that for him anxiety and general mental unwellness manifests in physical symptoms a lot. At least when he's in the Waking. Can't exactly make it rain there when you're upset lmao.

Hob would definitely take care of him. He's been alive for over 600 years, he knows how to take care of ill people. Even if it is difficult for him to convince Dream to stay in bed when he's feeling unwell (he wants to play) or when he has to explain the concept of throwing up to him (it hasn't happened to Dream in his LIFE and he's very unhappy the first time it does).

Apart from that he would definitely pull up the whole agenda. Make him wear fluffy sweaters and socks, prepare his favorite foods and tons of herbal tea, draw him a bath. He probably talks himself hoarse by telling Dream so many stories and so many books in order to bribe him into staying in bed and resting.

Delirium is delighted (ha) when Dream runs a fever and is a bit more on her wavelength for a while. Then she feels sorry for having been happy about him being sick.

Desire would be convinved they'll be really good at taking care of him until they actually walk into the room and are like "ew bodily fluids and sickness" and are OUTTA THERE. They send Dream a gift to make up for it.

Death, I think it just helps for here to be there. She's the favorite sibling so Dream is content with putting his head on her lap and letting her pet through his hair. She brings him some chicken noodle soup though cause that's what you do when someone is sick. And an apple, since it keeps the doctors away ;)

[just-your-casual-nerd]

Master List Part 6

Note: I did not write any of these fics, I just enjoy reading them, and had a shit load of them saved. So, I figured I would put all of the ones I liked on a master list, figuring that its an easy way to keep track of them, and maybe you guys would like them as well. Have a Great Day fellow Nerds! 😁👋

2nd Note: If Someone wants me to take their fic or another fic off, let me know and it will be done. I don't want to offend anyone or make them upset.

3rd note: I will keep adding to this list as I get more fics

Larissa:

Fanfiction Masterlist By: Tanith-rhea

Larissa Weems Fluff & Angst Oneshots By: daydream-cement

Larissa Weems Smut Oneshots By: daydream-cement

Master List for Billiedeansbitch

Larissa Weems Master List By: spicy-picklez

Nightmares By: bunniebubbleswrites

Beg for it, Darling. Pt. 2 By: only4use

My Darling | Agere By: @v3nusxsky

Distraction (NSFW) By: wh0re4women

Jealousy, jealousy (NSFW) By: wh0re4gwen

Am I Yours? | NSFW By: @v3nusxsky

Lesso:

Cramps from hell | mixed By: @v3nusxsky

I'm Sorry | H&c By: @v3nusxsky

Alcina (Resident Evil Village):

Drabble for Alcina By: the-castle-of-dimitrescu

Alcina Dimitrescu Masterlist Part 1 By: ctitan98

Love me more. By: sunhysteria

Always By: vulpe-fox

Home//Mother! By: parvulous-writings

Alcina Dimitrescu Masterlist Part 2 By: ctitan98

Reader is Wronged By: notbadforafailedvessel

Alcina ( House Dimitrescu Series) By: words-etched-in-her-skin

Alcina's New Maid By: willalove75

Secretly in love. Part 1 By: rosalynesimp

Agatha Harkness:

Pacify Her (NSFW) By: milfandh0ney

Lucifer (The Sandman):

Littledolllls main masterlist By: littledollll

Other Master Lists:

Master list for spicy-picklez

Master list for sunhysteria

Larissa Weems masterlist for plaguedoctorino

Masterlist for duke-of-poosay

Fanfiction Masterlist for daydream-cement

Fanfiction Masterlist for regalbootie

Masterlist for wasjustred

Larissa Weems Masterlist for jeanette-luminia

Masterlist for moodreaderlesbian

Lucifer Morningstar (The Sandman) Masterlist for alexusonfire

Masterlist for stanchett

Fanfiction Masterlist for weemssapphic

Captain Phasma Masterlist for cissyenthusiast010155

[littleb00ger]

Enter Sandman

CONTENT WARNING(S): agere (age regression) and self soothing, mentions of alcohol and w(ee)d, cigarettes, mentions of night terrors, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks.

-hurt/comfort genre

-gender neutral reader

-reader lives with Cliff, or maybe Cliff lives with them (ie. roommates, whatever your preference)

-THIS VERSION HAS BEEN CENSORED FROM CURSE WORDS!

Summary: You have been suffering from terrible insomnia. You know exactly what you need to do to get a full night's sleep- you've just been putting it off. You were so worried about what Cliff would think. But one night, you were home alone. You had a chance. The only thing you didn't think through was how Cliff would find you when he returned. Would he be accepting?

Notes: This was written for my own personal comfort. Please, please be nice. (Btw I am not very good at writing complete paragraphs lol.)

It finally happened.

You were finally able to sleep.

After months of restless nights- twenty-four hour periods turned to excruciating forty-eight hour periods without sleep. The sweet dreams finally came, and you were in the sandman's cradle.

Before tonight, you tried it all; the melatonin capsules, night lights, meditations, yoga, benadryl, cutting out television an hour before bedtime. You even tried beer and weed! Lord knows there was enough of that in the house, at least.

Surely those two substances combined were enough to virtually knock your lights out!

But nothing seemed to work. You felt like you tried everything in vain. The agony of staying awake for so long made your focus little to none. If sleep was even fortunate enough to grace you with its presence, it would never stay the course. And then came a time where the night terrors were seemingly endless.

All your past traumas would come flooding back to you- chasing you.

Reminding you.

It was embarrassing to wake up thrashing and screaming so loud, Cliff would rush into the room to calm you down- and Cliff slept like a bear. Under any other circumstances, you couldn’t wake him up for anything!

He’d probably sleep through a world war, if it happened. 

You were fed up with the night terrors. 

He'd help you through the panic attacks every time. And still, shame would pour upon you each time you apologized for waking him.

Cliff was even kind enough to let you sleep beside him, sometimes. But it felt ultimately useless. It felt like nothing was gonna get you to stay asleep- if you did at all. He kept urging you to see a doctor. A psychiatrist, a sleep specialist….something! 

You couldn’t keep living like this. Slumber would hit him like a ton of bricks- and you would be left to lay there with eyes wide open, listening to him soundly snore. You would often wish that you could snore along with him; to come with on a joyride to the good dream realm, for once.

But not tonight.

You hadn’t let yourself regress in so long, but you knew deep down that it was the answer to all your sleeping troubles. It would always calm you down and aid in a very good night’s sleep. Your age regression never failed. But you were stubborn.

No, you couldn’t- not in the same house as Cliff Burton.

He was such a smart and talented man. In a way, you certainly looked up to him. The way he spoke, the way he carried himself, the way he stayed so calm all the time- and you were always on the edge of a freak out. The sleeplessness sure didn’t help that matter, either.

Most folks didn’t understand age regression. Too many chalk it up to be something it should not. So you didn’t like to talk about it. You didn't want those closest to you getting the wrong impression.

Just imagine if Cliff found out reverting yourself down to a mere toddler was what you called “Heaven”. You were always the happiest when you were small. The pleasures were simple, and life felt joyous.

There was no way. He would tease you for sure.

At least, that’s what you thought.

Cliff may not have shown it, but he was worried about you.

 

Age regression was a trauma response. 

You were good at suppressing those feelings, even when the regression was abrupt or involuntary. But masking was exhausting, and you were already tired enough. "Somethings gotta give." You thought.

So tonight, you took a chance.

Cliff invited you to go out with friends that evening, but wasn't surprised when you turned down the offer. He knew you really didn’t have the energy, but still wanted to be nice. He felt bad, knowing there wasn’t much he could do. 

“Alright, well just try to relax,” Cliff told you. He tapped a brand new pack of Marlboro reds against his palm while saying this.

“Chill out, order in and watch a movie or something.” He bit the tip of a fresh square between his teeth. “I rolled an extra joint, if you’re interested.” He grinned real wide with the cigarette still poking out through his choppers. “I left it on the dresser for you.”

That man and his weed.

You thanked him, even though you weren’t very keen on smoking. It’s the thought that counts, and you knew he was trying his best to help you in whatever way he could. He patted your shoulder before he left, as a way to reassure you.

When he left, you took a deep breath. You were diving into a big leap of faith- and honestly, it was about time! Regression truly felt like your last hope; your last chance to get the rest you’ve been waiting for.

So you pulled out your toys and threw on your cozy clothes, determined to have a blast. And more importantly- determined to get to sleep.

And after hours of playing, relaxation, and watching cartoons, here you were- snug as a bug in a rug. You were wrapped up in a blanket with your favorite plush and your binky tucked between your teeth. Everything was perfect. Finally.

It was about twenty past midnight when Cliff returned.

Entering the home, he was puzzled to be greeted with silence. Usually the tv was on or some type of noise was stirring. But all he could hear was the faintest ticking of the clock. He shut the back door behind him and shed his shoes. He mosied into the quiet living room, hoping that everything was okay.

Cliff dismissively threw his keys back into his pocket while approaching the living room entrance. He stopped in place and raised an eyebrow when he saw you, on the couch fast asleep-

….With a pacifier?

Now Cliff was even more puzzled about what was going on. While on the other hand, he was absolutely relieved to finally see you sleeping. He was ecstatic for you, it was a miracle! He almost wanted to jump with joy and cheer! At last, you were asleep.

He looked at the surrounding area and puffed out a breathy chuckle while seeing the childish toys laying around. Rattles, toy cars, blocks, Little People figures with their playsets- you name it, you had it. Of course, he knew you always enjoyed toys, you had a whole collection growing on your shelf! But he never saw you display these toys before.

Cliff lightened his steps as he crept closer. You looked so peaceful and cute.

He may have had a thousand questions running through his head about what was going on, but none of that really mattered, right now. A kind and gentle smile spread across his face while kneeling beside the couch.

He couldn’t help but just watch you. Not in any demeaning sort of way- but Cliff was truly fascinated. He's never seen anything like this before.

And on top of that, he was stoned. Like usual. That only seemed to enhance his fascination.

Soft hazel eyes scanned over the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest as you breathe. He saw the way your eyelids would twitch, and the front of your binky wiggled whenever it was sucked. The redhead wanted to reach out and pet your hair, but refrained from doing so, seeing as not to wake you.

Cliff watched you for another moment, hearing your quiet breathing. He wondered what you were dreaming about. "Hopefully it’s something good.” He thought. He didn’t notice the keys he’d so carelessly shoved into his bell bottoms were dangling away from the fabric. He was solely focused on you.

And all within seconds did they slip out, loudly clunking to the carpet in a big metal pile.

Crap.

You immediately stirred and opened your eyes before Cliff could even react. Things were groggy; it took you a couple seconds to realize that he was kneeling right next to you. Your eyes immediately widened with fear like saucers. Wait. Where the heck did he come from?!

Your mind was racing, trying to put the pieces together in your tired and fragile state of mind. What time is it? How long had Cliff been staring at you? Why was he staring at you? Even more importantly-

Did Cliff still like you? Was he angry about the mess? Did he think you were weird?

Is he going to think this was something bad like all the others?

There were so many questions and in your childlike state of mind, you couldn't take it. You couldn't handle feeling so crowded. You trembled and pulled away from the blanket and cushions of the couch. You recoiled into yourself from such a startle. No, this was not a good way to be woken up. Not at all.

“Woah. Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.” Cliff put on a soft tone of voice. He held up his hands in a surrendering gesture. “It’s okay, you’re safe.” Even though every single curse word in the English language was racing through his brain, in this situation. Those stupid keys.

You shook your head. Your mind was like a light switch, shifting back and forth from adult to child. It finally dawned on you that you still had the binky planted in your mouth. Your teeth had bit down, holding on for dear life as your fight or flight mode was exposed. It was like you couldn’t move aside from a tremble.

A murmur erupted from your throat. “I-”

You finally pulled it away from your mouth and threw it off to the other side of the couch. “I can explain!” The much louder words flew out of your mouth so fast, you didn’t even realize it made you drool. Now you must’ve looked even more like a child to Cliff.

You wiped your chin on the sleeve of your sweater and looked up at the tall man before you. You felt defeated. Dog tired and defeated.

“Shh.” Cliff shook his head and continued to be tender. “It can wait until later.” He remained cautious of your frail mindstate, while putting his hand on your shoulder for comfort. “Everything’s okay. Just breathe.” He would often take deep breaths along with you, during your anxiety attacks. 

All you could think was- “please don’t cry, please don’t cry, please don’t cry.” But you did the best you could. You were breathing along with him with quivering lungs.

You almost didn’t want him to touch you. He read your emotion clear as day after noticing your shoulder inch back from him, ever the slightest. Cliff pulled his hand away while keeping his calm demeanor. "It's alright." He wasn't offended. His face was soft, and his half-lidded, stoner eyes kept a caring gaze of concern.

“Want me to get you a glass of water?”

Water was good. Hydration was good.

You shrugged your shoulders. It was hard to maintain eye contact. The shameful feeling heavy on your shoulders was making it nearly impossible. Your eyes kept darting around the room in a frenzy. Without another word, the redhead stood up fully and went to the kitchen; you assumed for the glass of water he offered.

You brought your knees up to your chest and buried your face into them, hugging yourself while still breathing. It was this.

This. 

This crap was exactly what you were afraid of.

“He’s never gonna look at you the same way again. You’ve messed everything up.” You were mentally scolding yourself over it. Thinking that way was doing nothing to help your anxiety. It was self-sabotage at its worst. It was all too familiar.

In contrast, Cliff remained very positive. He may not have fully understood what he walked in on, but he had a hunch. But what you experienced was so much more than just basic nostalgia. It was sheer comfort. Whatever it was, he knew one thing was for certain-

If it helps you relax enough to actually stay asleep, he was going to encourage it. Without a doubt.

Who was he to pass judgment?

You were brought back to reality by the gentle ‘clink’ of a glass being set on the coffee table. You looked up from your knees to stare at the cup of water, then finally, up at Cliff. Dear Cliff- bass extraordinaire.

“Here you go.” He smiled at you. Despite your wide eyes being tearful, he found your stare to be ingenuous; childlike, even. Not that it was even surprising, given the circumstances of how he found you.

Cliff watched you slowly start to untangle yourself from the ball that you were curled in. He wanted to titter at the way your socks were too big for your feet; they fell away from your calves and bunched at your ankles. 

You were cautious while reaching for the glass with both hands, which were still shaky from the aftereffects of fright. You sipped the water successfully without dropping it. All the times in childhood you were yelled at for spilling, briefly went through your mind. The memories made you want to cringe.

Small children use sippy cups and tumblers with straws for a reason.

But at least you didn’t have to worry about that, right now.

Cliff didn’t want to make his staring at you obvious- that probably did more harm than good for tonight. He was still discreetly annoyed with himself for causing you such agitation. So he decided to clear up the toys left on the floor, stashing them all in one pile to be put away later.

Every time he leaned over, he took the opportunity to pass you a glance through his long red locks.

Oversized sweater ten sizes too big; big slouchy, mismatched socks; boxer-style underwear that was printed with little green aliens? Come on!

You were adorable to him.

He could almost feel his freckled cheeks start to heat up in a blush. He turned away and grinned to himself while hearing one of your toys rattle as it was moved. He imagined how cute you'd look while playing with these.

After a few sips, you set the glass down while scooting yourself to the very edge of the seat. You took a deep breath, using the moment to contemplate your next move. Your eyes were starting to blur from holding back the emotions for so long, and your leg was bouncing from restlessness.

Being so nervous was making you stutter. You were finding it difficult to force your words out.

“I’m gonna-”

Hold on, what were you gonna do, again? 

“Go pee.” 

You shook your head. “Wait, ew. Rephrase yourself. Don't say it like that!”

“Uh, go to the bathroom. I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Your words spewed out so fast, you almost felt like Regan from The Exorcist. Projectile-barfing out green vomit everywhere- except in your case, it was words. Word-vomit.

You finally found the strength to stand up on your wobbly legs. 

Cliff was returning your puzzle pieces back into the box, when he turned his head to you and nodded. “Take your time.” His voice sounded sincere. Definitely not sarcastic in any way.

There was a brief awkwardness surrounding the living room. You just stood there, twirling your fingers around the fraying hems of your sweater sleeves. Why was Cliff acting so….nonchalant? It felt suspicious.

“You don’t have to clean up after me, you know.”

Again, your words mumbled and sputtered like a dying engine. In Cliff’s high state, he almost had to take a second to realize what you said. He sealed up the box of puzzle pieces and set it aside. “You’re good, I don’t mind.” He grinned at you with hopefulness.

There could have been a chance he was lying, but Cliff was an honest man. He was always the type of guy to just tell it like it is. You had to remember he was also under the influence.

Okay, so maybe it's not so suspicious.

You said nothing while nodding your head. You were light on your feet as you slipped past him to the bathroom down the hall. Your vision was blurring the whole way there. As soon as you closed the door, everything broke loose.

There was no more holding back. Tears started pouring out like a fountain, bringing all the unwanted anxiety, guilt, and shame to the surface. Choking down your sobs the best you could with your head in your hands. You felt like there was no going back now. There was no way to undo this- this mess you caused.

There was no way for Cliff to unsee what he saw.

“Why did I take the stupid chance?” You thought. All hope must be lost. You felt so pathetic.

But what you didn’t know was that he didn’t want to unsee things. He wanted honesty. He wanted to witness the real you. And he wanted to be there to help you power through the trenches, so long as you let him.

Cliff was patient.

It felt like you’d been in the bathroom for so long. The tears were finally slowing down, leaving your eyes aching. Now you feel even more exhausted than before. You flushed the toilet and turned to the sink. The reflection in the mirror felt haunting to you.

He’s gonna know you’ve been crying.

You took one straight look at yourself and turned away. It was like a trap to get you to start crying again.

You ignored the mirror while washing your hands, then splashed your face with water. It was going to take a minute to prepare walking out. Best case scenario, Cliff stopped caring and went to bed.

Nah, Cliff was a night-owl. Even more so than that, he was not one to abandon his friends when they may be vulnerable. He wasn’t going to leave you alone and upset like this.

After drying your hands and face, you took a deep breath. Your body felt frozen in place with your hand on the doorknob. You looked over at the mirror again. Red eyes, red nose, still looking all sorts of pitiful. So many insults were crowding your brain again. Just like always. But you remembered why regression worked so well for you-

It replaced some of your bad habits. Much nastier ones.

“Shut up.” You mumbled and turned away from the mirror.

Those were old habits; ones you’ve grown out of. As ironic as it was, letting yourself be a child again has done wonders in helping you grow as a person. It was almost like therapy.

There was a sliver of confidence that helped you open the door again. You turned the light off behind you, hoping to leave all the tears and terrible thoughts behind.

Cliff was now sitting in the armchair with a lit square between his fingers. He was staring off at nothing in particular while looking deep in thought. He turned to you, offering another hopeful smile when you returned.

“Are you feeling any better?”

“I guess.” There was a pause between your words. You sat back down on the couch rather stiffly, staring straight ahead without expression.

Cliff’s smile quickly faded. He noticed your facial features still reddened and damp from crying. Smoke exhaled from his lips. “Come on, don’t lie.” His tone of voice remained neutral. Caring. "You know you can always talk to me."

You could see in the corner of your eye as he stubbed his square into the ashtray. The hair fell into your face while lowering your head. You stared down at your feet awkwardly. He was right. This mess wasn't gonna resolve itself.

“I’m sorry.”

That was all you could think to say. You sniffed back another myriad of tears, mopping your cheeks with your sleeve. The redhead wasn’t sure how to respond. Why did you feel sorry?

You didn’t do anything wrong.  

He rose from the seat, moving over to the empty spot beside you. You felt his big hand rest on your back. He was just sitting beside you, trying to bring some comfort. You cursed under your breath while wiping away even more unwanted tears. They should’ve been all dried up by now.

“What’re you sorry for? I’m not mad.” Cliff assured. You felt him start to lightly rub up and down your back. That was instantly calming. You wanted to purr like a kitten and lean into his caress.

Laying beside him was your plushie. He smiled to himself and picked it up. He could tell just how loved this little toy was. Some of the seams appeared loose. The fabric was worn and matted in some areas, but it was still soft and cuddly- 

And cute. Just like you.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

You could finally tell by his tone that Cliff was being sincere. So why the heck were you still so afraid? Why couldn’t you let him in? You were on a rollercoaster full of emotions, and you just wanted off. You didn’t want to be afraid.

Your head eventually lifted to reveal the exhaustion in your puffy eyes. “You don’t understand.” You sighed.

After a few seconds, you finally had the courage to look him in the eyes. Cliff has such a wise, old soul; you could tell just by looking at him. You were starting to trust that he wasn’t going to judge you.

“I want to. But I can’t if you don’t let me.” He rubbed your back again. His words remained gentle and empathetic. You nodded. Cliff settled the treasured stuffed animal into your arms, presenting another smile. You loved the way the corners of his mouth dimpled when he smiled. You finally smiled back- just a little.

“I just don’t wanna talk about it.” You made eye contact again while cuddling the plush to your chest. “I mean, I don’t think I can, right now.” You rubbed your fingers over the toy's fabric.

He nodded his head with all his understanding. “Like I said before, everything can wait until later.” He tousled your hair. “I’m not going to push you.” He poked you lightly in your side with his index finger, while sticking out his tongue- as a way to lighten the atmosphere.

Good ‘ol Cliff.

“P’omise?” You lisped. You looked at him with trusting eyes.

"Course I promise.” Cliff chuckled a little. "We can talk about it when you're ready." You noticed him look over toward the clock. It was ten after one. “Besides, we need to get you back to sleep.”

Cliff pulled your discarded binky from where it was thrown. It was laying between the cushions in the corner of the couch- but certainly not forgotten. He wiped off the rubber part and offered it to you. “If it helps you fall asleep, you should really use it.” 

You looked at the binky he held up to you, then back at him before finally taking it. There was a tiny part of you that dreamed of this one day happening. Of Cliff actually encouraging you to regress, maybe even playing with you-

Maybe even look after you.

Your face sizzled with shyness, spinning the binky around in your hands. After contemplating for a short minute, you brought it up to your mouth. You latched on again and immediately started to feel better. Who knew such a mundane object would make all the difference.

The front of your binky wiggled a few times while you looked up at Cliff, who was now standing up with a big grin on his face. You trusted that he wouldn't laugh. 

“That better?” He gave your head a few gentle pats.

“Mhm.” You nodded. “Tank 'ew.” You were starting to slip again and you were too tired to fight it. Way too tired. Your eyelids were growing heavy- in fact, everything was starting to feel heavy. Your body felt like a rock- a boulder, even.

You slumped backward into the cushions and watched as Cliff picked up the throw blanket, giving it a shake. You looked so sweet to him. Your plushie was still in your arms, being clutched to your chest.

“You must be so tired.” He helped you lay down. You curled up and made yourself as small as you could, rubbing your cheek against the soft, fleecy fabric of your sleeping companion. He draped the blanket over you and watched you snuggle in.

“There you go. Everything’s alright.” He brushed away some strands of hair from your face. He wanted you to feel nice and peaceful.

Cliff was cooing to you as if you were just a little child.

The little child you've always wanted to remain.

“It’s okay.”

He knelt down beside you, just like he did before you woke up. He whispered tender nothings to you, in between humming. His voice was like butter in your ears. Your head was empty, you didn't even know what song he was humming. All that mattered was that you were warm and safe beside him. Nothing could hurt you.

He continued to hum a low melody while stroking your hair. The weight and warmth of his hands, his crooning- it was all too much. Sweet slumber was inching closer and closer by the seconds. And before long, you just couldn’t keep your eyes open any further. 

After all these months-

The nightmares had finally come to an end.