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rpmemesbyarat · 2 years

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Deconstruction is more than parody or satire or even subversion, and it’s more than just saying something is dumb, and it’s more than doing a “dark” take on something. Some of my absolutely FAVORITE works are deconstructions, such as Shrek and Revolutionary Girl Utena, both of which point out the realistic pitfalls of traditional fairytale roles. But there still needs to be more to it than just “one really smart character just suddenly starts pointing out how all these things are unrealistic” because, as mentioned, if you just stick a character like that into one of these worlds that are played straight, it actually doesn’t work, because the character is objectively wrong. “Ah but it’s not like that in my world! The unrealistic things that happen have realistic consequences! All the stupid things people do in superhero/fairytale/etc stories don’t work and hurt people!” Then why are they still doing them? Edna Mode STOPPED designing capes because they were safety hazards. If gingerbread houses repeatedly get moldy from rain and crumple, why does every witch in your fantasy deconstruction still build them. Just so the protagonist can go, hey, that’s stupid? That’s kind of unrealistic itself. If something was built to fall from the start, how has it even lasted long enough for the hero to point out its flaws? And if it has lasted so long, how do they know it’s flawed? Hold that thought. Now, let’s talk about Shrek the character and the film. Shrek actually DOES do all the expected things for an ogre short of actually eating anyone. He lives in a swamp, he’s mean and nasty, and his hygiene is, uh, not great. The deconstructive aspect is in exploring why these things are and what their results are. He lives in a swamp to avoid people because of their reactions to him, which are also why he behaves the way he does. He explains out loud that people judge him before they even know him, and he finds it easier to just be what they expect because at least that keeps them away. He also does seem to genuinely enjoy the swamp for the same reason his hygiene is gross by human standards; because he’s not a human, so what’s “normal” for humans won’t be the same for him, and that’s actually fine. The grossness is played for laughs, but it also plays a role in showing Fiona’s self-acceptance. For instance, when she belches and doesn’t show any embarrassment, she’s stepping outside her prescribed “princess” role that she clings to, and showing behavior that is ogre-ish, something she normally has great discomfort with as it reflects the side of herself she hates. Yet, she’s unashamed of it around Shrek. So, it’s not just “omg she burped, so funny!” or “this is a clever deconstruction because see, the PRINCESS does something GROSS and princesses don’t normally do that!” It’s a lot deeper. We see that the role of being a princess is so restrictive to Fiona that she stifles an entire side of herself in shame, and we also see WHY she would do that, because it’s established earlier how despised ogres are by wider society. A society that hates ogres would surely never accept one as a princess. Her behavior makes sense within the context of her world, as does Shrek’s own, but also deconstructs it by showing the actual psychological ramifications that such restrictions and roles—the perfect princess, the nasty ogre– have on the people who are forced into them by society. A deconstruction criticizes a work by taking its foundations and following them to the realistic point, which is often a negative end. Revolutionary Girl Utena, though wildly different in tone from Shrek, does things similarly in that it critically examines the restrictive roles of fairytale archetypes–namely, the princess, the prince, and the witch—and the disastrous psychological effects that trying to fit these roles (or force them on others) has on people. It starts out with the idea of simply “Utena is a girl but wants to be a prince and save princesses” something that most people would find revolutionary enough, but then breaks down how that’s ACTUALLY still playing by the rules of an oppressive system, still using the same restrictive boxes even if you’re going into a different one than you’re “supposed” to, and still viewing others within that same restrictive system (seeing other women, namely Anthy, as “princesses” who exist for her to “save” in order to validate her desire to be a “prince” and thus dehumanizing them in the process as much as others have) Yet again, the deconstruction is done not by going “isn’t this silly?” or by having the characters simply act in ways unexpected for the genre, it’s done by exploring the realistic consequences of the tropes in a certain genre. And like Shrek, both stories show WHY these systems exist. It’s not just “everyone is an idiot using ideas that don’t work and only this super special protagonist can see how dumb it all is” in either one. Ok, most people being stupid IS a bit of a factor in Shrek, because it’s a comedy, but in both worlds we see these systems are promoted and upheld by people in power behind the scenes for their own gain. Even when fairytale creatures aren’t being rounded up and deported en masse by one noble in particular, it does seem that royalty is exclusively human in Shrek’s world, and the current king was only able to get on the throne and marry the woman he loved by making a magical bargain that made him human in the first place, even though he was sentient and speaking as a frog. Logically, why COULDN’T a sentient speaking frog with human-level intellect marry a queen and run a kingdom? Or a talking donkey? Or talking cat? Or an ogre? It’s not shoved in our face, but it seems like there is a definite “humans are a ruling class” thing going on, and the roles that people are put into as hero or monster (or just “lesser” such as Donkey) is based on one being a human or not. And our villain in the second movie, the Fairy Godmother, though not human herself, clearly seeks power by exploiting and enforcing this system. And in “Utena” the entire system of duels and ideas about roles—the Rose Bride, the Prince, etc– is confined to the small world of Ohtori Academy, which is ultimately revealed to be something of a pocket dimension magically separated from the "real" world and under the control of a formerly god-like fairytale prince who exhausted himself from saving damsels, lost much of his powers as a result, and became a conniving hedonist as a result who sets this cycle in motion again and again in order to regain that power. In other words, these deconstructions don’t just show us why these conventions would actually be bad, it also breaks down why they would exist in the first place in a world if they’re so bad, and the realistic consequences for the people as a result, and why/how it would continue despite these consequences in order to still exist long enough to be criticized at all. In a bad “deconstruction” the protagonist might simply point out that an unjust system is unjust and also stupid and that “realistically” it should all fall apart like a house of cards, which usually it then will…with no explanation as to how, if it was so flimsy and stupid and wouldn’t realistically work, it ever came to be in the first place. Which is itself unrealistic. Whereas in good deconstructions like Shrek and Utena, it shows why an unjust system would exist and persevere in the first place, and follows the natural conclusion to what type of people would benefit from creating and maintaining such a system. It’s not treated as just a natural occurrence or everyone except the hero just being stupid or bigoted, there’s an entire framework justifying why it does exist in-universe even though it harms people. Much like in our own world. The systems in Shrek and Utena also, it must be noted, are NOT “stupid”, just evil. But not stupid. They work very, very well for the people who enforce them and benefit from them. Which also explains why they exist and hold up for so long in the first place for our heroes to rail against. Deconstruction will look at something like fairytale roles or Chosen One prophecies, and go “ok, how would this get set up and maintained in the first place, and who would do that, and why?” and that usually leads to a dark conclusion as well (Dune is a GREAT example of deconstructing the Chosen One Trope BIG TIME—turns out the prophecy about one super special boy was in fact totally made up by a cult for their own ends and spread throughout the galaxy!) And speaking of railing against the system, both Shrek and Utena the characters DO originally internalize the “rules” of their own world as is realistic for people who grew up in it. Shrek, born into being an ogre, starts out the film believing he just might as well give up and be what people think him to be, because no one will see him as anything else anyway. Utena starts out as somewhat rebellious against the system of her word, having been inspired by being “saved” by a prince when she was young and therefore deciding SHE would be a “prince” and save other girls, instead of being the “princess” herself. Yet this also still constraining herself and other people into the limiting roles she’s familiar with. Both of them go on a journey in which they realize that both society’s roles and their internalization of those roles is something each needs to grow from. They don’t just automatically know better for no reason, and it’s not simply “wow, the MONSTER is the hero this time!” or “wow, the GIRL saved the day!” which is what a lot of lesser deconstructions or so-called subversions come down to. Because, in those cases, the writers don’t really seem to have thought about the conventions of the genre beyond “well this is dumb/unrealistic” and “they do things THIS way so I’ll do the OPPOSITE” and think that alone makes for deep or clever commentary. TL;DR: Your deconstruction doesn’t need to be about the same things Shrek and Utena are, nor does it even need to have any kind of real-world social commentary like they very much do. But a good deconstruction does more than say “the tropes in this genre are STUPID” It instead looks at what the natural consequences of these tropes would be if they were enforced in a realistic way—what it does to people to be boxed into roles like princess, ogre, witch– and then examines WHY those tropes would therefore exist in the first place, asking the question of who decides them, who enforces them, and why that is, with the answers often being dark ones, rather than just accepting “this is the way it is” . It’s less kicking a house down, and more dissecting a body, basically. Also, an important note: Your deconstruction DOESN’T need to be dark. Many are, because examining the realistic consequences of common media tropes often DOES lead to unpleasant places, and because the ones that don’t are often not what writers want to explore; there’s no much story in “actually this is totally fine as is” most of the time. But it doesn’t need to be. Likewise, darkness alone does not make a deconstruction. So, doing a dark take on a fairytale wouldn’t be a deconstruction, nor would a role-swapping tale where the hero and villain were reversed or the villain’s side was explored. Both are absolutely worthy routes/stories, just, they’re not deconstructions.

#writing #Writing tips #writing advice #writing tip #writblr #Deconstruction

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gayleviticus · 10 months

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shrek 3 and 4 are both not on the same level as 1+2 but i do think 4 is just way better than 3.

4 has a solid high-concept premise that may be a bit self-indulgent, but at least is a worthwhile reason to do a sequel and show how far the characters have come, and gives donkey and fiona some meaningful screentime and characterisation.

whereas 3 just feels like a boring, perfunctory cashgrab sequel. picking charming and the villains as antagonists feels like its done bc they felt obliged to wrap up loose ends dealing with charming, not because it's actually a particularly interesting direction. for all the girl power princess moments fiona doesnt really have characterisation, donkey and puss are just comic relief, and shrek's whole arc is just a midlife crisis about having kids.

now in fairness that's not an inherently bad thing, and there's also an element of cycles of trauma and being afraid of being a bad father like he experienced as an ogre etc, but idk, it feels like a very generic choice? shrek 2 is an interesting exploration of what fiona and shrek's family situation is going to look like once the dust settles; shrek 3 is just like 'first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage.'

(it also just doesnt feel very ripe for queer readings like 1 and 2. like you can do it w 3 and 4, talk about cycles of trauma and abusive family in 3 and idk, assimilation into the hetero nuclear family in 4, but at that point it starts to just feel like language games like saying peppa pig is a code for the cold war or whatever. whereas i genuinely and legitimately think shrek 1 and 2 are very symbolic of the queer experience and i'm not just saying that bc insane media analysis is fun)

#shrek

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charliespringverse · 1 year

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iwbft – ghosted: a Bonus brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 91

· ouch/ow/owie: 5

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 4

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 4

She said Shrek and Fiona, and then told me she never wanted to be famous. — the double life thing babeyy

“Jimmy,” he heaves out, and I feel a stab of panic in my chest. — just hearing ur friend's name shouldn't be enough to trigger panic unless u already know something is Very Wrong . at which point i feel they should've pushed for further help instead of finishing out the tour

“We can’t leave Jimmy out.” Lister stands shirtless in the middle of the room and spins around on the spot. — fuck yeah trio tingz :')

It almost makes me laugh how polite and casual Rowan manages to sound, despite the fact that our best friend is missing. — IT'S A DEFENCE MECHANISM!!!!!

I only wonder how much of it is my fault. — none of it bb dw :( he is Not With It enough to be thinking abt anyone but himself rn

“But I can’t drive.” Rowan stares at me. “I thought you had lessons.” “I only had three lessons.” And then I got bored, or tired, or busy, or all three. — ... adhd lister btw

Why would he do this to us? To me? — i think jimmy's dependence on rowan is more reciprocated than he realises

If we weren’t in a famous band together, I’m not sure whether we’d still be friends now. — this rly hurts my feelings and it hurts more bc he isn't necessarily Wrong i don't think

“You do know I can play eight instruments, right?” “But not the drums, huh.” Rowan folds his arms. “You will never let me live that down.” — LISTERROWAN BESTIEISM BANTER BABEY

“But you think I’m an idiot who has nothing intelligent to say.” “I don’t think that.” “Yeah, you do. You’d much rather I was the one who was missing right now.” Rowan doesn’t respond. We both know I’m right. — WELL MAYBE BUT U DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT. I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT.

“I wish you wouldn’t—” he begins but is cut off when his phone buzzes. — i hate that the phone gave him a get out from being open n sincere w lister :^(

“That’s a Southeastern Railway train,” says Lister instantly. “You can tell by the seat patterns.” — [freddie mercury voice] auuuuutism auuuuutism i want to ride my autism (note: this is summat @to-grill-a-mockingbird says and now i can never get it out of my head)

“He needs a night off.” "A night off from … what? His entire life?” Piero chuckles. “Yes.” — i mean ouch but also Yeah

“That was good news. He hasn’t been kidnapped. He just needed a nap.” “Can you not make a joke about this situation for like one fucking minute, Allister?” — could be the tism on my end but i didn't take this as a joke . jimmy needs a break, piero told them that, lister has seen enough to agree . (also: lister has Also contemplated running away so it makes sense he's less eager to bring jimmy back to ldn bc he doesn't see it as fixing the problem the same way rowan does)

Why do I always have to be the serious one? The worrier? Why can’t someone else do the worrying sometimes? — other ppl Do worry . but not so much that it becomes its own problem worthy of therapy

We save the deep chats for Jimmy. Jimmy doesn’t open up very often, but you know Jimmy will listen if you have something serious to say. — vs jimmy's wednesday narration 'we don't ever talk about deep stuff, me and lister bird' :((((

This whole bedroom is something out of twelve-year-old Lister’s wildest fantasies—it’s spacious and modern, with one floor-to-ceiling window, dark walls, LED lights behind the headboard, and a fifty-inch TV. — what u lack as a child you seek as an adult etc etc (space, material possessions, money)

Rowan’s room is always tidy. He puts away his clothes at the end of the day and makes his bed in the mornings. — always craving order & control :(

Rowan loves to criticize me about buying unnecessary things, but all I need to do is remind him of the velvet chaise longue in his bedroom that I’m pretty sure nobody has ever sat on. — comedy gold amidst the agony

He blinks at me. “You remembered my weird order?” — remembering ppl's orders is a love language

“Can I … ?” I shuffle on my feet. “Can we eat it in here?” — i hate that he's so uncertain n lacking in confidence while asking one of his best friends

I’ve always been deeply annoyed by what a high metabolism he has. I work out three times a week with a personal trainer just to stay toned. — rowan's fixation on body image makes me ✨nervous✨

“You were reading?” I ask, eyebrow raised. Lister narrows his eyes at me. “Wow, hilarious." — i stand by my 'lister loves to read but nobody ever assumes that or believes him bc their perception is skewed by him not gelling with academia' hc

“But don’t you see how that’s, like, still very fucked-up behavior, Rowan?” — GET HER JADE

And it’s scary that he thinks he’s completely fine. That this level of stress is normal. That he’s a functioning, well-adjusted human who is able to cope with being one of the most famous musicians in the world with absolutely no help or support whatsoever. — yeah :((

“You kissed him,” Rowan says. “So he decided to climb out of a window and run away.” “I mean, yeah, in summary.” — but no, realistically

Rowan wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh my God. So funny.” He’s properly pissing me off now. — give him a break roseph he's already mentally ill u don't have to embarrass him as well (/lh)

It’s a question I’ve asked myself every day for years. A question I’ve answered in daydreams, in nightmares, in conversations with myself in the shower. A question I still don’t know the answer to, and maybe never will. A question that doesn’t need an answer, now that I know for sure that Jimmy doesn’t like me back. — aaaaaagonyyyyy beyond power of speeeeeeech when the thing that u want is the only thing out of ur reach

“But … the circumstances of our relationship are so challenging. We live in very, very different worlds, and our lives are on very different trajectories. And sometimes I think relationships just can’t survive that.” — JUSTICE FOR LAIMONDI :(

Jimmy fell asleep almost immediately, a feat that would become less and less common as we all got older, but Lister and I couldn’t sleep because we were too busy watching funny YouTube videos on my phone, muffling laughs into our hands, trying not to wake anyone up. — BABY ARK MY CHILDREN

#i annotated this on friday but i've been too busy to write it up #so heyyyy guess who isn't ready to let this week go #anyway. i truly feel ghosted may be one of the best things to ever happen to this fandom #in the absence of iana at least #iwbftreread

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the-goblin-cat · 5 months

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hog from left field, but,

CASPER

Casper, my sweet little pumpkin boy imp from the ISEKAI! ttrpg campaign

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

It's fully just a reference to Casper the friendly ghost, cause I originally envisioned him as pale blue

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

Casper is currently 13

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

I jokingly ship him with an extremely minor npc simply called Tenturik Girl. Tenturiks are bearcat-like beasts that fill the same role as dogs in Areatam, the game's setting. However, some of them can grow to massive size. A random human girl around Casper's age joined in a race riding on one such creature.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

pizza, but especially the concoction the party members invented by cooking flatbread dough on the coals with various herbs and toppings.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

He is a destined hero and a kid, so on the spectrum between "unemployed" and "mercenary".

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Casper loves games, both video games and physical board and card games. His particular favorite is a game played with cards and figures called Knights of the Spiral.

🎯 -What do they do best?

He's great at picking up new forms of magic and has the highest number of elemental spells of the group, though his physical abilities are lacking as a result.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

He loves the aforementioned games, and learning new things. He hates being sad or thinking about home.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Going to Navy Pier with his older cousin Kay and friend Xochitl. At the time Kay and Xochitl were dating and it was all very happy.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

The day his mother died, though subsequently trying to run away from home and getting caught in the rain was very close.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

As mentioned before, I originally wanted him to be blue. He also originally had glasses. I love his current design tho

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

I wanted to create a delightful childish character to foist on the other players, as an homage to @fvriva's Ellie character.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

They were made for Isekai babey

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

cishet probably.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

no true siblings, though he and Kay have grown to see each other s such.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Casper loved them both very much. However, after his mother's death, his relationship with his father became strained, as the grief left him unable to properly care for his son. Eventually Casper's father checked himself into a facility and sent him to live with his mother's side of the family. Csper's aunt and uncle certainly provide adequate care physically and financially, but have a strained marriage themselves and can't provide emotionally for neither Casper nor Kay.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

In addition to his adorable design I like how the dice tends to fall in his favor. The world is awed by the feats of this very strong little boy

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

the game is play by post and moves at a leisurely pace so a few times a week on average.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

absolutely not

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

being abandoned

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

None so far, though he and His Holiness the Patriarch Puranmas has a heated debate over whether Shrek was anime

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Conceptualized bout two years ago, though the game began last year

#Casper #ask game #isekaiverse

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motownfiction · 1 year

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mold

In the summer of 2001, the only thing Sadie’s kids want to hear is the Shrek soundtrack.

She’s not really sure how they got here. Like every other family with children between the ages of three and eleven, they saw Shrek at the theater. They liked it enough. Billy, who’s three, really liked the big red dragon. So when they came upon the soundtrack at Borders a couple months back, Sadie bought it. She remembers thinking the music was pretty fun.

Actually, she remembers Sam saying the music was pretty fun. And if there’s one thing you take Sam’s word about, it’s music.

The kids, as it turns out, have a lot more in common with Sam than Sadie ever assumed. Because they also enjoy the Shrek soundtrack. They enjoy it so much that they miss out on all the new hits of the summer. Years from now, Sadie will discover they weren’t missing much (Who could forget that Atomic Kitten cover of “Eternal Flame,” except for everyone?), but for now, she’s drowning in hell. And hell sounds like “All Star” by Smash Mouth.

It gets worse when the kids learn the lyrics to the song. Even Michael, who normally hates poppy songs like this one, seems into it. He thinks it’s funny.

“Really?” Sadie asks. “You think it’s funny to sing the same song over and over and over while your mother graciously drives you to and from your friends’ houses? To and from the pool? To and from the restaurants you want to go to?”

But Michael doesn’t answer. None of the kids do. Because “All Star” is playing, and they’re singing.

Some-BODY once told me / the WOOOORLD is gonna roll me …

Sadie sighs and accepts her fate at the red light. This is what life is like. Life is schlepping three kids to and from their various schools, activities, and appointments, all with Smash Mouth playing in the background. No, the foreground. It’s too loud to ever be the background.

She thinks back to when she was thirteen, fourteen, fifteen years old. Before she fell asleep, she used to dream about a life like this one. A life where she married Daniel (which happened), where they had kids (which happened), where she was involved with every aspect of their caretaking (which she is). It’s just that when she imagined driving her kids around metro Detroit back then, she imagined them listening to “Take It on the Run,” to make fun of Daniel, who always hated that song. And to be fair, they do that.

At least, they did before the Shrek soundtrack came into their lives.

The light turns green, and All Star whines the chorus.

And all that glitter is go-wold! / Only shooting stars break the mo-wold …

Sadie grits her teeth. What in the world were they thinking, putting an extra W sound in words that have never needed an extra W sound? She’s never written a song before, but she’s pretty sure that if you have to add in extra W sounds, you should probably go back to the drawing board.

“Mommy?”

Sadie jumps herself out of her thoughts. She spots Rosemary in the rearview mirror, a question in her eyes. She looks so much like Daniel, but there’s a little gleam in her eyes that’s very Sadie. Curious about everything. Wondering, wandering.

“What’s up, Rose?”

“What does that mean?” she asks. “Break the mold? Is that like bread?”

“Or penicillin,” Michael cuts in, almost certainly to remind everyone that’s the word that won him the spelling bee this past school year.

“Pencil in,” Billy says, so he can be part of the conversation.

“Mommy?”

Sadie sighs.

“The mold is, like, what people do to fit in,” she says. “It’s when people do what’s expected of them. Do you know what that means?”

Rosemary nods.

“When you act right,” she says.

“Or when you act like people think is right,” she says. “Anyway, when you break the mold, you decide that those expectations aren’t working for you. So you stand out because you’re unique. You do something new. It’s actually a good thing.”

Rosemary nods.

“I wanna break the mold,” she says.

“And I’m sure you will,” Sadie says. “You’re the kind of person who would.”

Rosemary grins, and for a second, she looks more like a Doyle than a DeLuca. Sadie’s heart soars. All summer long, she’s wondered what she did to deserve a bunch of kids who only want to listen to the Shrek soundtrack. But that’s not what she should have seen.

When she was a kid, all she wanted was to find her way into that mold. Sadie wanted to do everything right, everything normal, everything that a girl was supposed to grow up and do. All the things she thought she could want, she put on hold because what if she missed her opportunity for something normal? And she can’t be sorry for the things she chose. She got these kids. These kids who have their whole lives ahead of them … who can forge their own paths without clinging to expectations, no matter how shiny and romantic and normal they seem.

And maybe she wishes she didn’t have to thank the Shrek soundtrack for that.

But it’s better than nothing.

(part of @nosebleedclub july challenge -- day xxiv! watch as a woman tries to catch up with a bygone era)

#drabble #writeblr #ch: sadie doyle #ch: rosemary deluca #ch: michael deluca #ch: billy deluca #year: 2001 #i honestly think i am so funny for this

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kylesvariouslistsandstuff · 3 months

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Looks like Eddie Murphy has some muscle when it comes to these sorts of things, because DreamWorks is apparently at work on a DONKEY movie, set for release sometime after SHREK 5 comes out.

Murphy did say in a recent interview that he "thinks" SHREK 5 is going to be out next year, but with DreamWorks having three films slotted for 2025 - DOG MAN, BAD GUYS 2, and GABBY'S DOLLHOUSE... I don't think so.

2026 seems right still, plus the first movie turns 25 that year. But Murphy has recorded some lines for it for a few months, so it's closer than not.

Given how well both PUSS IN BOOTS movies did (I get the sense that the first one is kinda-sorta forgotten? It actually did very well way back in 2011), and the sequel was a leggy phenomenon, so I'm not surprised that there'd be some traction on a Donkey movie. The SHREK franchise is as alive as ever some two decades after SHREK came out, and some three decades after the original book by William Steig was published.

I'm wondering if it's going to be more than just "Donkey yuks it up for 90 minutes", but that would still be fun anyhow. After THE LAST WISH, I think it'd be cool to see a Donkey movie be told through his perspective in a way animation can really pull off. And not in the more expected way CG movies, including the SHREKs, often do. THE LAST WISH goes hard on a storybook/fairy tale look and tone, and retains the very Three Musketeers/Spaghetti Western-informed vibe of the first PUSS IN BOOTS. When action happens, there are those little flourishes and such that - to me - make you experience the story the way the character is feeling it. Very much like classic Disney animated films, ironically. Maybe a Donkey movie could do the same, but in a way that really puts you in the head of this wisecracking ass.

Also, is it theatrical? Or something that'll be sent to a streamer? (Either ORION AND THE DARK-style where it's a full-on DWA picture that for whatever reason didn't go to theaters, or MEGAMIND TV Pilot-style where it's made somewhere else w/ a wholly different team and was never meant for the big screen or potential awards.)

If it's a theatrical movie, that would make it, I think, one of the first big-time Western animated movie to spawn theatrical spin-offs based on two separate characters. Theatrical, that is. If any Disney animated feature got a spin-off, it was largely through direct-to-video stuff and that's a whole other clustercuss of its own. ICE AGE recently had that Disney+ Buck Wild thing made at some other studio, as well.

But no, I'm referring to theatrical... Especially if made by the same studio.

I think THE LEGO MOVIE got there first. As pretty much everyone knows, Batman was a character in that movie... And he got his own theatrical movie in 2017 featuring tons of other DC and WB-owned characters, it's the second-ever release in the LEGO MOVIE series. An unusual move in retrospective, LEGO MOVIE 2 probably should've been next, *then* LEGO BATMAN. Warner Bros. made an equally unusual decision to follow that up with THE LEGO NINJAGO MOVIE towards the end of 2017, which featured *no one* from the previous two movies. It was all characters from the Ninjago line and assorted new faces. It lost money on its release, too... I think doing two spin-off movies about two separate sets of characters before a proper LEGO MOVIE sequel helped hurt that film when it finally came out in 2019... Five years after the first movie. It didn't enjoy any of the success of the original, and Warner Bros. offloaded the franchise - probably sans Batman and such - to Universal... Who, as I understand, are still deep at work on a LEGO MOVIE 3 of sorts.

Worth noting that Warner also had other LEGO MOVIE spin-offs in development before LEGO MOVIE 2: THE SECOND PART released. A Jorge R. Gutierrez-directed pic called THE BILLION BRICK RACE was one of them. Warners really though they had a whole expanded LEGO MOVIE-verse going on there, and perhaps got lost in that before building a solid base with Emmet Brickowski and friends.

DreamWorks, of course, is making a DOG MAN movie. The DOG MAN books are a spin-off of Dav Pilkey's CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS, which DreamWorks adapted into a movie in 2017. DOG MAN may or may not feature the Captain himself.

Illumination's DESPICABLE ME has two MINIONS movies, which cover... Well... The Minions, a whole group. A character unit itself, and young Gru appears in both movies, having a much larger role in the second one. Kinda spin-off/prequel-ish movies... But there's no movie that's just about, say, Lucy or younger Vector or anyone like that. So, that's just one for DESPICABLE ME.

Pixar... TOY STORY has one character-centric spin-off movie in LIGHTYEAR, though that was a wholly different take on Buzz. CARS has one in two PLANES movies about a character who doesn't appear in any of the CARS movies. The PLANES movies were made at Disneytoon Studios by crews who mostly weren't on the CARS movies. John Lasseter is exec producer of them, and wrote the story for the first one. They're by all means direct-to-video type movies made elsewhere, much like the Disney ones of the '90s and '00s, but they got theatrical releases. We almost got a third one that was all about spacecraft, and a fourth one about city transit. We almost had a whole CARS cinematic universe there, with 3/4 of it not being made by Pixar.

So yeah... DreamWorks finally having two separate characters headlining their own movies apart from the larger franchise they come from... Interesting development. Luckily for them, they were four movies into SHREK when PUSS IN BOOTS came out, and they'll be five movies in if DONKEY happens.

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froggywentaprincin · 7 months

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I FEEL SO STUPID

i thought your prince charming pet name post meant like

he calls them ‘prince charming from shrek’ or other obscure characters

not

the muffin cake thing

LMAO

Now I’m imagining Daring and his significant other getting in a fight over something stupid and him going “wELL if YOU were Prince Charming, you- You’d be like the one from shrek!”

I don’t think the shrek movie(s) exist in eah lol.

Imagine if eah and shrek were in the same universe though.

Shrek Prince Charming would be ‘he who shall not be named’ within the Charming families.

“Hey, aren’t you related to-”

Daring: “W-What? Nooo! W-Who’s thaT? I mean, who’s ever heard of such a thing?” [laughs nervously] “Well, ANYWAY-“

#eah daring charming #eah daring #daring charming #shrek prince charming #eah #ask #anon #anonymous

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jq37 · 2 years

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Twice Upon a Time - Neverafter Ep 3

No Place for a Prince or Princess

Welcome to another entirely unhinged episode of D20 Neverafter and the first battle ep of the season. A battle episode with no dedicated healer with the whole party at level one? What could possibly go wrong? Well, let me tell you exactly what.

When I first started doing this commentary recap/posts, I did them in stream of consciousness bullet points and I'm going to do something similar for this recap since a battle ep means more nitty gritty that can be skipped over and also because I'm pressed for time due to being home for the holidays. Worry not though! I still have compiled all the most important juicy story bits for y'all. So let's get started.

When we last left off, the group lost the element of surprise as they readied to attack the Fairy Godmother and her army of half human/half furniture goons. Their goal in the fight is to steal the glass shard stuck into the Fairy Godmother that Cinderella stabbed her with and is greatly weakening her.

Puss right away Taun-Taun style dives into a dea cow while Roz distracts the Fairy Godmother by loudly declaring her princess status. As the mice told her, she can't resist a princess.

Meanwhile, Red draws a ton of enemies into a corridor which they nickname "Ylfa's Bottleneck" as if it's a hit nightclub and it comes up so many times you just KNOW it's gonna be a shirt or a poster at some point.

Pinocchio offhandedly mentions that he's been a puppet for about a year which helps us with the timeline a bit. Also, he's apparently using his broken off nose as a weapon which is...not amazing.

Roz gets hit by a spell and she sees a vision of zombie looking versions of the fairies from her christening looking at her in her crib and the blue fairy asking what she thinks her gift would have been if she hadn't had to soften the evil fairy's curse. [Note: Hmm, wonder if that Blue Fairy is Pinocchio's Blue Fairy]

Oh, also the Fairy Godmother says to Roz that curses are also gifts in their own way and idk if that's annoying fae-speak or an actual valid thing to say.

Roz and Red both have to make Cha saves and when Roz fails, Brennan gives her a red token which he tells her to hold onto without explaining at all. Siobhan is trepid, as am I, despite Brenna's claims that it's nothing to worry about.

Tim doesn't end up doing this because he wants to save his spell slots for healing (smart man) but his Vicious Mockery is a paternal "I'm very disappointed in you."

Puss tries to hide in another animal carcass, this time a mule (which Emily hilariously thinks might be Donkey from Shrek) but finds out that it's the mule of the 2nd brother in his fairy tale and also that he's just faking dead and is alive.

Brennan introduces a new game mechanic: If someone deals more than half of your remaining HP in damage in one blow, you have to make a Con save or take a level of exhaustion. This counts for enemies and PCs. Yikes! This doesn't appear to have anything to do w/ the red token.

The Fairy Godmother says to Roz, "Don't you want the kind of life I can provide? [...] They're taken your true love from you." When Roz insists that he's coming, the Fairy says, "Then why did his face change?" Siobhan is like, "How did she know that?" and I'm like, "Girl, same."

Pinocchio casts Hex on the Fairy which takes the form of spectral strings appearing on his body and his Stepmom's voice pouring out of him to berate the Fairy. The Fairy, of course, recognizes the voice as they're from the same story. Pinocchio gets the sense that more is happening than his mom told him.

Ger realizes that this Fairy is the fairy who cursed him to be a frog for being rude to her as a kid! [Note: I knew we'd end up doubling up on fairies at some point!] He is, if you'd pardon the pun, hopping mad at the realization.

Puss successfully lies to the Fairy that Cinderella sent him to help her get the shard out of her chest but that success will be fleeting.

The fairy says, "Magic was never yours. Magic is ours!" to Pinocchio (and really, I assume to his mom) and drops him. [Note: Hmm, magic hoarding? Is this like a Fae and Flowers deal? This feels like a line that we might be coming back to.]

Ger drops to an attack soon after.

Puss on an investigation check realizes that they've royally botched this and all that's left are bad and risky options. He tries to get the Fairy to give him her wand but that's a DC 20 check with disadvantage that he fails. Roz does 12 damage on her and it does enough damage that the group realizes that she's a total glass cannon that they should be attacking.

[Note: Y'all, I'm not the type to backseat D&D--and I wasn't yelling at my screen or anything while I was watching this--but you always take out the monster that is creating the other monsters! That's battle strats 101! Of course--spoiler--they didn't despawn when she died at the end but still! Taking her out and grabbing the shard would have been my plan for sure.]

Oh, also, Brennan introduced yet another mechanic. Because battles in the NEverafter are super risky, on a crit there is a save and if your fail the save, you're insta-dead. Great if you're giving the crit, bad if you're getting it.

At this point, it feels like I'm just reciting obits. Roz drops. Tim brings Ger back up. Puss goes down. Everyone is failing death saves--often with a fairy tale appropriate 3 on the die.

Ger yells at the Fairy, "Are you happy? I'm supposed to be a handsome prince!" The Fairy, surprisingly, agrees. She says, "We're trying to set the Neverafter to rights!"

Lou points out they're flaming out in the EXACT same way they did in the first fight of the first season--Fantasy High. He is hilariously correct.

Tim goes down. Ylfa goes down. The energy at the table is palpable as the inevitability of a TPK sets in.

Pinocchio fails his last save and black smoke sweeps through the dome. With his dying thoughts, he thinks about him and his father riding home to his village having escaped the belly of the terrible dogfish. He hears a voice--I think his father's--saying, "My little Pinocchio. She has lied to you." Then he fades. As his last action, he has to make a Cha save which he can choose to fail on purpose. He tries but fails and gets a red token.

Ger thinks about how the last time he needed to be brave--when his castle was being attacked--he hid with the children then ran. He sees Red and Pinocchio down and steels himself. There's no running or hiding today. He tries to get the glass shard and Brennan allows him to do it without a penalty IF he agrees to potentially get hurt in the process. He agrees and just meets the Fairy Godmother's roll, pulling it out. HOWEVER, as he pulls it out, the momentum sends it squelching into his own body, and he drops. The Fairy Godmother, as she dies, says, "Gerrard, we're here to help you! It's not what you--!" But of course, she's cut off.

As I said before, when she dies, the soldiers don't de-animate. And they WILL kill anyone who stabilizes. So everyone has to roll a Nat 20 or die. It's a weird situation where sometimes you have to roll a failure to keep doing with saves.

I'm going to tell you right now, no one saves. It's a true TPK. I'll run you through everyone's last thoughts.

Puss: Puss dies with a Nat 1 on the die (a cat butt that they briefly think is the image for a Nat 20) and he sees himself in Tomas' castle, resting in a shaft of light. Brennan says he sees the king and queen. Then the castle on fire. Then he's gone. He fails his Cha save and gets a red token.

Roz: Roz also dies with a Nat 1. She sees herself on her wedding day, going to meet her true love. Brennan says she sees two beautiful princesses turn to look at her. Then she's gone. She fails her Cha save so she's now up to 2 red tokens. [Note: Princesses. Her sisters?]

Red: Red gets the most intense vision. She sees herself with her grandma who then turns into a wolf and starts dragging her into hell. When she turns to face the wolf at his request he says, "Will you remember?" Then he says, "There are things trying to stop the turning of the pages," and asks her the 4 most important words. "Once Upon a Time?" she says. "I knew it was you," the wolf replies before she realizes he's falling into not hell or a boiling sea but a cauldron. She's blown out of a brick chimney and hears a voice from below say, "Got you now," with a suspiciously piggish snort. She seems to make her save and does not get a token.

Ger: Ger actually stabilizes but that just means she's going to die via furniture. He cries and says that he and Elody should never have gotten mixed up in this. He sees his wife in front of him who says that it's not too late and throws a golden ball in the air. As he watches it, he experiences drowning for the first time and then is gone. He is the only one who elects to fail his save on purpose. He gets a red token.

Tim: Tim thinks about the last fight he had with his husband who wanted him to just get rid of the book and stay home while Tim really thought what he was doing could help save everyone. And he still thinks that despite everything. He sees the Gander who mocks him. He sticks up his middle finger and says, "I got your third with right here." "Granted," says the gander, biting his finger off as he vanishes. He fails his Char save. That's a token.

Brennan asks Red again what her last thought was. She says she thinks she realizes what's going on. They've been thinking about things wrong. A book is about new memories, not just nostalgia. They have to be creating new stories and all they have to say is "Once upon a time." And that's where we end: with a TPK and those immortal words.

This new ep drops in less than 3 hours so I'm not gonna do a ton of speculation. I'm just gonna say that I haven't been this hyped for a new ep in AGES. Are we doing a time loop? Further fractured tales? How meta are we going? I can't wait to find out. Also, I'm glad we got such a mixed data set with regard to these tokens. Roz has two. Ger failed on purpose. And Red didn't get one. So we're gonna get a lot of data when this new ep airs tonight! Can't wait to see what Brennan has in store!

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #never after #never after spoilers #d20 #twice upon a time #sorry this is so late #but that will prob be the case while I'm home #a part of the reason I do this is posterity and late season reffing though #so I'm playing the long game here

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artinandwritin · 2 years

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Okay okay okay I wanna hear all about that next gen thing bc that is crazy dude how did that even happen omg

OH YES alright! This is gonna be another full-on Mona-rants-moment so strap in bestie!

I don’t know exactly when I started thinking about a HTTYD next gen, but it must’ve been somewhere around 2014, after I had watched both movies almost right after each other. Gotta confess, before watching HTTYD1 on a vacation to Germany as a little 10-almost-11-year-old, I thought it was a horror movie. Oops. I thought the same about Shrek, but now I unapologetically adore both of them.

So as little kids, me and my twin brother (let the record state, he’s younger than me. By four minutes. It’s a real thing) were absolutely obsessed with HTTYD. So much, that we would roleplay as dragons and – wheeze – HiccStrid’s potential twin kids. Oh, yeah, we were deep into it. We were so deep. We played out adventures and pretended to fly on our pretend dragons, whom we named Fly Fly and Toe Toe and they were, you are allowed to laugh, the kids of Toothless and a Whispering Death. My brother’s favorite dragons were the Whispering Deaths, and we were great at biology. Nope.

After that whole shabang, we went to middle/high school, my brother grew past his Dragons-phase, I stayed right where I was cuz ofc I did, and after meeting some new friends who were just as much into HTTYD as I was (one of them was the friend who gave my the nickname Mona and helped me with Of Thrones and Heirs!), we kinda created a new next gen based of what we thought was cool lmao. I couldn’t find a lot of information on that on my laptop, since most of it was handwritten or only spoken to each other – and tbh, I’m not really feeling up to checking my chats about it with one of those friends cuz I’m not friends with them anymore. But that’s okay, we have a lot more information for what came next!

I developed the next gen a bit on my own, I remember, still with some influences from the friends I had created the last version with. And for this one I still got a lot of details, so let me grab them for ya.

In this next gen, HiccStrid had five kids. Yeah, they be being busy. Zephyr and Nuffink got added a bit later, after I had seen THW, before that they only had the oc children I created as a lil 14-year-old. They had, in order, Zephyr Stormfly (20 y.o.), Nuffink Toothless (18 y.o.), Alischa Valka (14 y.o., aka, the main character), Stoick Finn (13 y.o.) and Lunette Ansfrid (3 y.o.). Oh yeah, that’s a mouthful.

Next to HiccStrid, back then I also shipped Heather and Fishlegs. Not sure if I still do now, but back then they had the following kids; Helen Windshear (19 y.o., she was Zephyr’s best friend), Fay Heather (16 y.o.), Veena Astrid (16 y.o., she and her twin sister were created by my friend I think), Beril/Hugo Oswald (13 y.o., not sure which of the two names. All I know is that he was Stoick’s bestie).

To the more… complicated part, young me put some drama into this next gen by making a divorce plot. So what I thought was cool (and because I didn’t really like Snotlout back then. Very stupid, he’s the kingest of kings), was the idea that Snotlout and Ruffnut had a son right after THW after a one-night-stand (Thorvald Hookfang, 21 y.o., all I know is that he had a huge crush on Zephyr). After that, they tried to make things work, but they didn’t, and they did a divorce thing. After that, Ruff went with Eret and had twins, Audun Eret (19 y.o., he’s the guy I wrote down as the Gustav of the next gen lmao) and Hialti Ruffnut (19 y.o., I don’t think she had a very good life). Meanwhile, Snotlout had a daughter with Minden, Ylva (13 y.o., she had a crush on Stoick).

Tuffnut had two kids with some chick, Annika Macey (19 y.o., she and Nuffink were in love or something) and Kjell Lloyd (19 y.o., I don’t know shit about him).

For the rest, I only had kids for Dagur and Mala cuz oh yeah they were a thing. Don’t think I really shipped them, but they were fun to include. Their kids were Ingrid Heather (16 y.o., I literally don’t know anything about her), Oswald Dagur (5 y.o.) and Siri Mala (3 y.o., the first Siri! I don’t know anything about her).

So that was that next gen. Alischa was the main character, she later got a whole fledged out story involving Grimmel’s grandkid, Arcum (who she got a crush on ofc, I basically redid the whole “enemies to lovers” thing I loved doing in Of Thrones and Heirs), while trying to prove herself to her overprotective dad Hiccup, finding the Hidden World and the Night Lights in the process. She bonded with Toothless’ daughter, Safire, which would’ve been pretty cute.

That whole thing was pushed aside in favor of Siri in December 2019, unfortunately. While I did try to recreate the next gen several times (I am still figuring out what the actual fuck I wanna do with ships in the original cast and who would have kids and who wouldn’t. All I know is HiccStrid has Zephyr and Nuffink cuz that’s canon and Tuffnut is aroace and the cool uncle. For the rest… man, I don’t know. I love FishLout, I love RuffLegs, I love the idea of Minden and Snotlout, I wanna see Snotlout with a daughter, etc etc. I just don’t know anything lmao), things never really stuck, as I was in the height of creating Siri’s story, and in addition, Niv’s story. Now I primarily wanna think about the next gen cuz I wanna give gussiri’s kids some friends pff

Like, at some point I tried to change up the entire next gen; I paired up Tuffnut and Heather (some weird idea from the friend I’m no longer friends with. I don’t know why), they had four whole kids (Dagny, Kyll, and Lloyd, who were triplets born in 1018, and Oswald Loki Chicken Sverd, yes, who was born in 1028). It was a weird move. I also cut down on Dagur and Mala’s kids, giving them only a daughter, named Hedvig, born in 1022. Zephyr (1018) and Nuffink (1021) still existed, but they no longer had any siblings. Lloyd and Zephyr were in love and it was very cute, and Hedvig and Nuffink had a thing going on.

Next to that, I removed the whole thing with Snotlout, Ruff, Eret and Minden, now Snotlout and Minden only had twins (Vidar and Ylva, born in 1021, Vidar wanted to become a wingmaiden). Eret and Ruff had a son named Sol (1023), which is very weird now, considering one of my best friends is named Sol lmao. Fishlegs had a son from a one-night-stand (Kjott, 1019), and the only reason for that is because the friend I’m no longer friends with didn’t like Fishlegs for his “disgusting” relationship with Meatlug. Glad I’m finally allowing to love this precious boy instead of being forced to go along with their opinions.

At this point, Sunniva and Helene didn’t exist as GusSiri kids, rather being replaced by a daughter named Funnet (1025) and a son named Agnarr (1028, Aggie and Oswald had a cute thing together). Niv did exist! I created him and he never changed, he’s just too much of a baby boy for that.

So yeah, that’s how it all shifted and turned over the years! I hope I can point my vision on trying to point down some good characters to be- WAIT A FUCKING SECOND

OH MY GOD I JUST FORGOT THAT I LITERALLY HAVE A DOCUMENT WITH MORE NEXT GEN STUFF THAT IS FAIRLY RECENT AND INCORPORATES INTO SOME STUFF FROM STARCHASER

FUCK LEMME LOOK INTO THIS REAL QUICK

Okay so turns out this is from 2021 and luckily for all of us it’s short and to the point so let’s get cracking. HiccStrid only had Zephyr Valka (1018) and Nuffink Stoick (1021), Snotlout had Vidar and Ylva (both 1019, idk who their other parent is), Dagur and Mala had Hedvig (1017), Ruffnut and Fishlegs had Reider Fishlegs (1018), Saga Meatlug (1023), Amund Tuffnut (1025), and Steinar Barf (1028). For the rest, nothing, and honestly, better, I don’t really wanna keep track of so many kids lmao. I’m not a daycare (read: has created a new oc last week)

Anyways, I think that’s all for now! Thank you so much for being so appreciated, I really appreciate it bestie <333 you’re amazing!!

#thanks for the ask!#artinandwritin's lore #httyd #how to train your dragon #httyd next gen #au

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lemonprick · 2 years

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thoughts on puss in boots 2: the last wish

spoilers for puss on boots 2 if anyone cares enough about it. you’ve been warned!

i didn’t even know there was a sequel until i saw the thumbnail for schafrillas productions’ video on it, now i’ve watched it and um. it’s actually kinda good?

i had such a weird fondness for the first one. the spanish aesthetic, score, the animation, just the absurdity of this tiny adorable cat, that looks so much like mine, being voiced by antonio banderas. (this is coming from someone who didn’t watch any of the shrek films except the first.) but the story did suck, and humpty dumpty is easily my most disliked character in all of dreamworks history, barry b benson included.

so i figured i’d enjoy this one the way i did the first too; cool fight/dance scenes, good soundtrack and animation, bonkers ideas. turns out i was right in all the wrong ways.

first of all, the fuckin animation?? holy crap what is dreamworks doing? where is the realistic lighting and fur/leather textures you’re known for and why have you given us such gorgeous painted landscapes and layered models?? are you out here trying to steal sony animation studio’s thunder because you truly are! every single fight scene in this is a delight (as expected from dreamworks), was not expecting the 2.5d effect thing they’ve got going on and was straight up blown away by the colours. the kung fu panda influence is strong in this movie. i do think the effects are not quite as earned as in spiderverse of kung fu panda, since its styles are kind of all over the place and not as thematically cohesive, but it’s such a surprising departure from the usual dreamworks look. of course i hope they don’t completely move away from that era, but the designers have really shown us what they can done and i am here for it. i will say the way the frame rates noticeably slow down every time a fight goes on can get grating, but i got used to it halfway in.

secondly the story. yes it is rushed, yes it’s a mish-mash of ideas, yes it doesn’t quite explore each character’s motivations or conflicts to warrant any strong emotional responses, yes it was resolved all rather quickly; all these were issues in the first one as well. goldilocks is especially egregious since we know that she loves her family; look at all their little interactions! they’re the crime family! the writers did drop the ball by making her wish for another family. whatever was that all about?

but jesus christ i was not expecting death to straight up be the antagonist of this film. what an unexpected plot point for what i assumed was marketed as a family fun adventure film, but at the same time oh so expected, because a cat using up his nine lives makes for such fun storytelling? sure it can get a bit too on the nose, but death’s design and entrance is so darn cool i can forgive it a thousand times over.

also the writing. it was pretty clear that they’ve started running out of jokes at some point in the middle and so it did get a lil sluggy in the dialogue, but otherwise? holy fuckin hell how is this a movie for children. you have raw-ass lines like “has the legend gotten so big there isn’t any room for anyone else”? plot-twist-gut-wrench-holy-crap moments like santa coloma?? “it wasn’t just one bad heist. it was a church with priests and guests”?? “lives flashing through your eyes? / no, just one”??? telling death himself to pick up your sickles because i know i can’t win, i’m just going to go down fighting anyways????

and the absolute explosion of bleeps and curses that was perrito. seriously, how did they greenlight that? they put “shit-for-brains” in a kids movie??

(also, the side characters are so casually killed in this movie that it’s kinda insane. dreamworks has never shied away from a good “oh he’s dead now” gag but the way the girl just turned to gold and the baker’s dozen were straight up thanos-snapped away without a moment to spare. chilling to think about.)

not much to say about the acting, it was fun enough to service the film without being outstanding i guess. antonio banderas is having fun as puss as always, for some reason i always thought penelope cruz voiced kitty? but she’s cool in this anyway, finally the comedic relief third-trio-character doesn’t have an annoyingly comedian voice and just sounds like a sweet little dude. florence pugh is fine but there are moments where you know she’s not a voice actor, whoever voiced baby bear sounded a tad too much like james corden and i got chills whenever he spoke. i’d say john mulaney does a decent job selling jack horner, the way he delivers absolutely horrific sentences with such nonchalance and glee is so entertaining to watch; guy may have problems but he is still a comedian with iconic joke delivery.

more of a subjective preference than commentary, but the score was a bit of a let-down. i was so hoping to hear more of the gorgeous spanish acoustic sound that i loved from henry jackman’s previous tracks but this film seems a tad too eager to introduce electronic sounds. some parts do get real castanet-y and brassy, which were my favourite parts; a bit sad diablo rojo or the puss suite didn’t get an encore but oh well, it has been a while.

so i guess the takeaway is that i’m so well-versed in how the studio uses comedy that i was yet again able to predict the “leeches!” line about ten minutes in right before the barber said it.

an objective 7/10 because of the weird pacing and ending, a subjective 9/10 just because i would never have taken a puss in boots movie seriously enough to rank it like i would with other movies. incredibly high-quality absurdity, stellar action, amazing antagonists, absolutely insane lines, a better magical forest adventure than frozen 2. go watch it guys.

(additional comment because i haven’t said enough: this also marks the third 3D animated movie set in a hispanic country where a character dies by being crushed by a bell. only in the case of the book of life the guy was exploded inside the bell but still. a bell.)

EDIT: UPON SECOND WATCH i immediately watched it again the next day because i was so baffled by this movie. i loved it a whole lot this time around! revisiting this makes me realise how good the voice performances actually are, like now with the context that antonio banderas is 62 and still voicing puss with such energy and rigour, just how different john mulaney sounds than his other roles but still delivering deliciously evil lines so well, and i found myself enjoying goldilocks a lot more. also i realised i judged the soundtrack too quickly, even though i’m still not eager on the synths i did appreciate the orchestrals a more (i’m just really stuck on henry jackman’s score). pacing-wise i had initially thought it ran too fast, but now i’m realising maybe it’s just because i loved every single moment in the film that it didn’t feel like it had any room for downtime; too full of fun interactions and chilling moments for me to realise time was passing. still a 9/10 subjective rating, holy fuck this has been one of dreamworks’ recent strongest and it's a shrek spinoff movie

#puss in boots #puss in boots 2 #puss in boots the last wish #have a feeling people are going to start simping for death!wolf and i don’t look forward to it

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tralalalalaskinnyjeansyeahh · 3 months

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My boyfriend just sent me a video of me just existing and i was looking like the ugliest troll in the Shrek mud pool.

It had been a few years since I felt this kind of pain and it hurted me in a way I wasn't prepared to be hurt.

I will try to starve myself to death starting now

I have no safe space to be right now, all I feel is pain and I can't cut myself bc of my woks clothes and adulthood shit

Please please can someone kill me?

This hurts so much

Please

It's not like I have gained weight bc i wanted

I've being working out for real so now I have some muscles, im period bloated and just put on a DIU a few months ago

Yes I been eating like a pig tho

But I thought i was healthy and having a healthy relationship with food.

But this shit makes me feel the exact same way I felt 10 years ago when I first puked.

He didn't sent me saying i was ugly or fat, it was just to show me that he was seeing me, but when i said to him how I felt he said I was looking normal and that's not fat, he even tried to argue comparing me w some obese people we know, trying to say that they where fat and i wasn't, but it hurted way more...like... I know I'm WAY FAR from obesity so this triggered me even more.

I can't handle a depression crise rn (literally too busy w work to even have time to this)

But it was the meanspo i needed i suppose?

The only thing i can do now is making something to change that

I was feeling so hot in the other day (even though ab opening a OF again) but now i feel like I'm a human blob fish

I'm sharing this bc maybe it can motivate someone as well

And will try to update here w the progress

#anadiary

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cyberloveza · 2 years

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Tale of the Green Beast | A Shreklock Story

It was a quiet day. I would've loved to chat more with Holmes, but the movie we had just watched left me… off. As if Holmes and I had just cuddled by the fire, him regaling me with his crime novels as he'd come to do often recently, knowing that if I was ever murdered, he would dismember his sole to kill the man responsible… but he was the one that killed me in the first place?

Holmes and I strolled down the hallway, him with his arm around my shoulder, and stopped at our flat.

I dug into my pockets for the key.

Holmes tapped his foot as he waited. His usual impatience. A few moments passed, and he stopped. His eyebrows furrowed as his gaze fell into his thoughts. His nose scrunched.

"Is that coffee?" He looked up at the door.

"Coffee?" I sniffed the air. The scent had come from through the door. "Wait- yes. It's coming from inside!"

Holmes grabbed the doorknob and turned it, but it wouldn't budge.

"This doesn't make sense. We don't drink coffee, we drink tea! Watson, unlock the door."

I jammed the key into the hole and pushed open the door. The smell of coffee packed the room and flooded into the hallway. Its potency burned my throat. Along with tears from… onions?

Holmes studied the room, as he could find the most miniscule of things that were displaced. And as always, he saw it. But…his jaw dropped.

I followed his thousand-yard-stare to the couch. My lord…

Lightning shocked my heart as I saw the green, panic-inducing hand pick up his coffee mug and an onion in the other.

"Shrek?!" We said at the same time.

"Gitoud o' me flat, will ya?"

Holmes raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me, sir but with all due respect, leave. This isn't your house."

"Yuud messan' wit the wroöng ogre."

My knees shook as my whole body paralyzed in fear. I heaved out every breath, and let not one in. My eyes flickered. A cold shock crawled up my skin. Soon, all I could see was the green in front of me, and as always, black.

My brain was working overtime, making sure I only got the most horrific dreams, like Shrek breaking my fingers one by one and stabbing my head while Holmes wasn’t looking. I didn’t even want to think about what could’ve happened while I was out. In the dark void that was my closed eyes, warm colors began to peak through.

The warm sheets were blurry as they caressed my palm, becoming clear and solid as the static cleared from my sleeping body. I opened my eyes.

Holmes. He leaned over me, looking directly into my eyes.

“Holmes…? Wha…” I said as my lips fruitlessly delivered my words.

“Watson, are you okay?”

I groaned as the side of my neck burned. I must’ve slept in a strange position.

“I’m… I’m fine, Holmes. I just- I dunno…”

“Easy, my friend,” he touched my forehead, as if to check I wasn't running a cold. “Dinner will be done in a few minutes. Lay back until then.”

He touched my arm as I eased again into the warm bed.

I wanted to clear my head of him. That green monstrosity…

The bed weakly rumbled as the sound of heavy footsteps approached the door. The noise that shook my core.

I broke into a sweat.

"Eh Sherlœk, dinne's readi!"

A devil's cry pierced up my skin. It was still here. Not only that. I had to share a table with him.

Dammit. No no no no no no no no…

We already set the plates and forks. Holmes waited calmly as his bowl was being prepared. I… well I couldn't. My mind was lightning. I cringed at the thought of his giant fingers touching anything near my food.

A thud came from the kitchen. I flinched.

Holmes looked over at the kitchen entrance. "What was that?"

"Nuthan!" The monster said back. I hoped he didn't think that was reassuring somehow. I knew what he was doing.

I stood up from my chair.

Holmes impatiently tapped his fork on the cream white plate. He met my gaze.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

The truth grobbled in my throat, but I kept it in.

"The food smells so delicious, Holmes," I said shamelessly. "I just have to see it now."

His face brightened up. "Oh, eggers!"

Eggers? Eggers? That Shrek got to him. Holmes's mind was on its way to a slow, green rot and I had to stop it.

I turned into the kitchen, the savory smell of tomatoes and chicken drowned me in its deliciousness, unfortunately. In front of the stove was the demon himself.

He reached into his pocket. Something clacked inside as he pulled out a small red… salt shaker? Strange red flakes floated into the soup, his big hands still choking the entire bottle.

I stood straight. I couldn't make it obvious that my knees trembled.

He looked at me.

"I jost gõtte put i in de bowls. Be paeshent."

"No worries. Why don't I handle it? I said, holding my hand out as I walked closer to the monster.

"I gott it. If ya wonderin about the shaker, it's only pepper. Not de spicy kind."

Lies.

"Sure. I bet Holmes will love it."

Shrek nodded, and dumped the soup from the ladle into the bowl. Gross. Disgusting. I'd rather die than eat that. My head ached just standing there. Slowly, I stepped back and left the kitchen.

Silence. I didn't dare let a word escape my mouth. I took a sip of my wine as Holmes and the demon talked their hearts out.

"Ur a verrie smaot man, Mr. Holmes." It said.

Holmes playfully extended out his hand, blushing like a teenage girl.

"Awww- I- ha ha" he chuckled over his sentence. "Stop, you're embarrassing me."

Holmes glanced at me, then back at Shrek. He didn't talk to me like that. He never talked to me like that. What the hell is this?

I idly stirred my soup, paying close attention to the broccolis. To the red specks that lay on their heads.

Holmes ate his seconds with the speed of a starving prisoner. I knew all the red specks were in his soup too. A love potion perhaps. Or maybe just poison.

Holmes coughed. His eyes shot wide open.

I looked at him. "Is everything alright?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he held his neck, and coughed his lungs out. I panicked.

"Holmes! Are you okay? Answer me!" I rushed out of my seat and over to him. I held his shoulders.

"Gggghhhhaaaa!" He responded.

Drats! He can't talk.

I tugged at his arm and pulled him out of his seat. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I put my hands under his ribcage and did the proper Heimlich maneuver.

A piece of pepper flake shot from his mouth. Holmes heaved as he loosened his grip from his neck. I cupped his hand in mine.

"Oh my god, are you okay?"

He stared at the bowl, emptiness was behind his eyes.

He laughed.

He roared. "I'm fine, John. It was just a flake of pepper. More soup will wash it down."

What.

I flared hot inside. Not from anger, but from how awkward I felt at the moment. Standing there, my face probably iron red. Yes, I saved his life, but it was still awkward.

I sat back down in my seat, still as a statue, watching Shrek and my partner gossip and chatter for the rest of dinner.

"Yoø drawin li'il pictures?"

I snapped cold. The satanic heat radiated in front of me as I slowly looked up. It wasn't a hallucination. That ogre was still here.

I set my pencil and journal down next to me. Quiet time on the couch was over.

I spoke. "I am. Why?"

He grinned, and from behind his back, pulled out five big books.

"Were we're goin', we don't gætt nou pictures."

My eyes widened.

---

After a few minutes, we successfully moved the table to the front door, leaving a clear spot on the floor for us to sit. I couldn't see the use, but that would hopefully be explained to me in due time.

Holmes's bedroom door opened, with the man himself emerging. He wore his dark red dressing robe and slippers.

He came to the sitting spot.

"This is the activity you've been raving to me about?" He looked at the demon.

"Ye, I gotte de buuks. Sit down."

Shrek patted the spot next to him. Holmes clapped his hands together and sat down next to him.

Five books sat in the center of us: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, The Great Gatsby, The Bible, Moby Dick, and the 1999 original book Can of Worms by Kathy Mackel.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What exactly are we doing?"

Shrek leaned forward and grabbed the Harry Potter book. He opened it.

"Yu pik a böok, and ask eech of us one queschon about it, then we rotate. We only gott three peopl and fyve books, but we'll still rotate the other two."

I blanked. I couldn't for the life of me understand the rules, but Holmes probably knew them well, so I could just copy him.

Holmes grabbed the 1999 original book Can of Worms by Kathy Mackel. I took The Bible.

---

Holmes had asked me to write the scores down in my journal, and I told him I'd do anything for him, so I obliged. Here's how it was looking:

I was dead last, but I took solace in that Holmes was doing so well. Though, my hands burned at the thought that it was only because of that demon's doing. Holmes didn't need him to win, but I couldn't do anything as it was his game.

My stomach roared inside me as I sat there with the Bible in hand. I hadn't eaten dinner. Shrek and Holmes watched me intently as I turned a couple pages.

I cleared my throat.

"This is your question, Holmes. What verse does David find Bath-seed-ba bathing?"

"2 Samuel 11:2!" Holmes declared loudly.

Shrek looked at him. "Again, smaot mann, Sherlock."

Holmes blushed again, the fangirl in him never truly leaving since dinner. Shrek picked up the Harry Potter book. A smile spread across his face, but his eyes… they flickered… with rage. His eyebrows pinched.

Shrek pulled his arm back like a baseball pitcher. Holmes's attention was on the pages of his book. The walls chanted at me, their voices rang in my ear. They knew. I knew. My heart beated in my chest as the smell of blood conjured in my head.

His arm swung forward, launching the book past Holmes's head and crashing it into the wall.

Another book sliced past Holmes's shoulder and banged on the floor behind him, making him fall over. My chest was twenty pounds heavy. Holmes trembled with terror in his eyes.

Shrek smirked.

"I gess gaem tyme's over." he stood up. "Time for bed, doncha think?"

He held a hand out for Holmes. He was reduced to a scared kitten, but he slowly reached out his paw to the demon's.

Shrek helped Holmes up from the floor. He snatched his hand away from the ogre.

"I-I'm going to take a shower now. I'll…" he trailed off, and walked away.

In a few seconds, he locked himself in the bathroom, probably sobbing at the thought of this ogre. Poor Holmes.

My blood boiled. I shot up from my seat.

“What the hell was that?” I shouted.

Shrek looked at me with a knowing stare.

He knows what he’s doing. He’s trying to piss me off.

I raised my fist at him. “You lay a hand on my friend, you’re dead. Dead!”

“I think yu fale too consider, who will really be dead.”

A smirk spread across his face. That evil grin… chilled my bones. I stood my ground and kept a fearless expression. Muffled shower noises leaked from the bathroom. Shrek turned his head towards it.

“Wach ouut, Doctor.”

I whispered angrily. “How did you know I was a doctor?”

He pointed at the door. Why would Holmes tell this beast my occupation? He was probably forced to do so.

Surrounded by near silence, Shrek stepped closer to the bathroom, his thunderous footsteps shaking my core. He knelt down at the door. One could only be so scared for someone else’s life before they should start fearing for theirs. What I’m saying is, I should've prayed that my heart could take whatever might happen next.

The demon pulled something out of his pockets. Something black and squirmy. I squinted at them, and it was awful. They were spiders.

One by one, the spiders crawled down Shrek’s green skin and onto the floor, sneaking under the space of the door and into the bathroom. Holmes had the worst surprise coming. I gasped as I knelt down to view the spiders.

“No.” I mumbled.

“Yez.” The devil replied.

“No!” I said as I leaped forward to the doorknob.

He raised a finger to his mouth and shushed me. The rings of the shower curtains clanged against the bar as they whooshed to the side.

“Watson?” A quite voice said through the showering water. “Watson!”

My heart ached. Holmes was saying my name. He needed me, but I couldn’t respond, less I wanted the ogre to hurt him more.

“Noble False Widows,” he said. “Moste poizunous in Englande. I don’t thank heez gonna mak it.”

“WATSON!!” Holmes screamed. His blood curdling pleads stung my ears.

As I gazed shocked at the door in disbelief, a shadow formed from mine. It was ogre-shaped. And from the side of my head, a baseball bat shape emerged. I froze. I was ice. My vision blotched black as I waited… and waited…

BAM.

Dark.

A dark room, furnished only by silhouettes. That's where I lay. My head burned with pulses against my pillow from the blunt force blow I was dealt sometime earlier.

I groaned. The covers caressed me as I pushed myself up.

What happened…

A creak sounded. I froze and became sober again.

"I was knocked out," I mumbled to myself. My heart blasted, racing on, breaking me into a cold sweat as the thought hit me. "Where's Holmes?"

My eyes widened in panic. My breaths were too quick to be considered breathing. I shakily hopped out of bed and scrambled to the nightstand for the lamp.

With one click, it flicked on. My room was a hurricane's path of debris. Though this time, it wasn't the green beast's fault.

I approached the door, my legs trembling at what could be behind it. I held the cold doorknob and turned it, and as I tugged, it didn't budge.

I tugged again. Nothing.

Was I trapped?

I glanced around the room, at the bed, at the dresser, at the floor. Nothing of note. I held my chest as I cooled down. I had to think:

Who put me here? And why?

The answer to the first one was obvious. It was Shrek. My answer to the second question would be confirmed for sure after I figured out my third question:

How do I get out of here?

Think, John. What did you do with the demon today?

I tapped my foot as I pondered. Shrek had made us dinner with dubiously edible pepper flakes, played a book game with us, and possibly mortally wounded Holmes with a spider. Aha, it was all connected!

I grabbed the 1999 original book Can of Worms by Kathy Mackel off the dresser. Next to where the book was, was a conveniently placed pepper shaker.

A spider crawled on the floor. Perfect. I knew how to get out.

In a few minutes, I sprinkled the pepper onto a blank page in the book, then recited the previous page's text backwards. I shut it immediately. Using the same book, I slammed it on the spider, threw it at the window and finally, unlocked the door.

That's what living with Sherlock Holmes does to your brain. You become smarter from his mere presence.

The door creaked open. I peeked through. No lights were on, leaving the flat in total darkness.

I blindly tiptoed out my bedroom. Despite my probable head injury, I was doing well navigating the few feet I traveled. However…

I touched the couch, and it felt… off. Tiny buzzes filled my ear, colors I shouldn't see in the dark blotted my vision, and dark red plagued my senses. The smell of blood.

I took a finger to a different part of the couch. My fingers dipped into a wet, squishy, warm patch of fabric, the substance leaking onto my hands. I pressed more, and panicked.

My hands shook as my breathing grew louder.

"Blood… blood…" I whispered. I quietly called for my friend. "Holmes… Holmes? Sherlock?"

A thunderous step sounded behind me. A familiar sound. I trembled again.

"Yuu finaly laerned wot I meant. You tők your sweet thyme, Doctor."

Beads of tears loomed around my eyes. My throat scratched on every word.

"Where's… where's Sherlock? Where's my friend?" I cried. I looked hopelessly in the darkness, unable to see the evil green beast.

A ray of light rose from behind and hit the floor beside me. It was from a torch. The light slithered past my feet, illuminating a slipper in front of me.

It kept going, then slowed. A drop of blood glimmered in the light. And more. And lingering, was a pool of dark blood gathering under a man wearing a robe.

"..."

I froze.

The beast came closer, letting his torchlight leak over the rest of the body and his face. The pale face of Sherlock Holmes.

I covered my mouth as I knelt down, his blood soaking my clothes.

"Sherlock? I-..." My voice wobbled. Tears flowed down my face.

I went cold. I knew.

Like a bomb, I exploded. The chaos, my tears and shrieks of fear bursted out of me. Sobbing and pure screams fought each other for my heart. My body went numb as my legs gave out. I coughed on the tears that flooded my face.

"Sherlock! SHERLOCK!" I yelled. The green beast grabbed me from behind. "No! No! You MONSTER! Bring him back! SHERLO-"

I coughed from my torn throat. My breath heightened as I finally ran out of tears to cry.

I stood there, unable to move from his arms. I didn't have it in me. Not anymore.

"Please… bring him back." I said quietly.

The monster squeezed me harder.

"No cann do, Doctor. I'm not-"

"Please… please…" I begged as I lost my voice.

The monster's grip loosened. Silence retook its place as I struggled to make a noise. He let go entirely and I could kneel to my friend one more time. The monster stepped back.

"Comm on, Sherlock. Partyz ovar."

Wh-wha…

Bells tolled far in the distance as I Iooked on at my friend.

Sherlock’s hand twitched. He shook as he pushed himself up off the floor, his eyes opening like a miracle itself had taken him. Was he undead?

The lights flicked on, and my partner stood tall once again. His gaze pierced through me, heating me like a fireplace. My mouth quivered.

"Sh-Sher…"

"Good evening to you too, Watson." He said with a smile.

I snapped cold.

"You're… You're a zombie!" I cried.

He chuckled. "Of course not, Watson. It's just me. I'm very much alive."

All senses flowed from me. I fell into a euphoric haze as I leaped forward to embrace him. Blood smeared across my clothes.

I looked at his wound, though there wasn't anything obvious.

"Sherlock, you're hurt."

"Oh no, this is fake." He took his finger to the blood and held it up at me.

My eyes widened. I slowly let go of Sherlock, and stepped back. It didn't make sense.

"S-so, this was all a prank? A joke?" I asked. The euphoria faded away.

Sherlock crosses his arms, then pointed at the blood-stained carpet.

"Well it's obvious, Watson. There is no trail of blood outside this puddle, suggesting no murder weapon was carried beyond this point, and it's too clean for a supposed surpised attack. Plus, there's no wound." He explained.

Sherlock glanced up at Shrek, smirking. Why?

"It was sloppy. Not a convincing crime scene."

"Yuu wont sum eggs wit that ham?" The demon said.

My relief morphed into confusion. Here I was, standing over a pool of fake blood and, what should've been, a white chalk outline. Sherlock and Shrek stood on either side of me. It was probably past midnight, and I was here instead.

What was happening?

"Why? Why would you do that?" Tears emerged from my eyes again.

Sherlock glared at me.

"It was for a very good reason. When we got back from the cinema, I could tell you were frightened, even more so when we saw our unexpected guest in our home. I was concerned when you passed out, but believed your fear to be unfounded, so me and Shrek decided to humor you. If you thought he was going to kill me, then he would 'kill' me."

"What-"

"I wasn't gonna really kill him. I woz tryin' to proove to you that' I woudn't." The ogre said.

I stared blankly at Shrek. My hands heated up and I turned my attention back to Sherlock. Worry spread across his face as I slowly stepped closer.

Standing in front of him now, I slapped him hard. My need to yell was less than dormant. I grabbed his robe.

"This was the dumbest plan you've ever conceived." I said gravely.

I let go of him and went to Shrek. I slapped him too. It wouldn't sting as bad though. I blame Sherlock for planning this in the first place. Shrek did absolutely nothing wrong.

I walked past the couch, intending to go back to bed. Intentionally this time.

"Watson, comm watch a movie wit us." Shrek said.

I smiled smugly, and turned around to face the green beast.

"Get out of my flat."

~The End~

#shreklock #sherlock holmes #shrek #original sherlock holmes #kind of #johnlock #like my little pictures?#idk #idk even know when this takes place #could be 1889 might be 1989 its timeless

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