#same moment but totally different perceptions

[deirdreei]

Bakugo Headcannons

|дﾟ)ﾉ Most of these headcannons are not mine and I do not take credit for all of them. But I just remembered reading them from many different platforms, so credit to the people who did think of most of these!

IF he has a crush on you ೃ⁀➷

● At first, he definitely would recognize that his perception of you had changed. He wouldn't label it as a crush though, he'd assume whatever he was feeling towards you was a distraction from becoming no.1, and try to forget you'd been crossing his mind lately.

● Was genuinely confused as to why you stood out in the first place even though you fit in with the rest of the class.

● If ignoring whatever it was he felt about you didn't work, he'd then try to push you away. When you two talk he'll brush you off and act more irritated. It would bother him if his attempts at dissolving his sudden thoughts of you weren't working. After talking with Kirishima, he would refuse to accept that he had a crush on you.

● He would start picking you as a training partner to try and find out why he likes you.

● He would be hyper aware of what he says around you and what he does. He doesn't want give away that he likes you on accident. He would rather die.

● I think he would be slightly annoyed if another person was hitting on you. He likes you because you're strong, and he not only views the other person as a distraction for your potential, but as a threat to him.

It's not like he was gonna make a move anytime soon, but he's been realizing you've been occupying his mind most of the time and being with somebody else just annoyed him, and he hated it.

● Bakugo would definitely wish things could go back to the way they were. He didn't know how to define nor deal with his emotions in this type of way, making his life a lot harder.

● He would want to know more about you, so he knows he doesn't have a 'crush' on a weird extra. but would refuse to call himself a stalker after he found most of your social media's (by himself) because he's not a obsessed extra. But he was curious about you nothing special.

● If you two ever did become friends, he would defend you. He can't have some lame extra disrespecting one of HIS friends. What does that say about him? He wouldn't make it a big deal in front of people, but he'd scare anybody who was rude to you into apologizing on their knees.

● He is not gonna treat you any better or any worse. He won't purposefully go out of his way to be mean or rude to you, like if he has to hand you something, he's not gonna throw it at your head. He'll hand it to you but still mumble about how annoying u are and that u better not get used to it.

● He's not gonna try and beat you to a pulp in training because he has some sort of feelings for you. He'll be a total show off, and when he's training with you he'd give you the same type of fight he would give his other classmates.

● And he will not immediately soften up to you or cry in front of you. Bakugo has too much pride, and he cares about his reputation. IF you two are close enough, he might have a rare vulnerable moment with you. "But he's cried in front of izuku!' You are NOT izuku. Izuku is a whole nother story.

● He won't hate you even more unless you give him a reason too, and if that's the case then he'll probably lose whatever tiny feelings he might have for you.

● Yes, he'll act more irritated by you, but he's not gonna have any actual hate towards you just because HE started feelings things for you. It'd be silly if he blamed you for his emotions, that's weak extra crap.

● He'll be annoyed and aggravated that he cant figure out and control his emotions, his anger isnt because of you, it's because he doesn't understand nor like the emotions he's suddenly aware of that he has for you.

● He won't hate it when you talk. The sound of your voice won't make him wanna take a swan dive. But he will act like he doesn't care one bit about what you're saying, but he will secretly take in whatever you're saying.

● Bakugo will not get offended or jealous at how strong you are. if anything, he'll find it attractive, that's why he likes you in the first place. if you were weak, you wouldn't even cross his mind the way you have been.

● During training, he won't change and cooperate just because of you. He'll try to outshine others like usual and be super annoying unless he literally has to work together to win. He's not changing his style because of you.

● He is going to give you an equal fight, maybe even give it all he's got on you. if he didn't see any potential in you, he wouldn't have liked you in the first place

● He knows you (and many others) found his personality annoying, and personally he never really cared about others opinions. but now that he likes you, whenever he sees you roll your eyes at one of his tantrums. he'll only feel even more angrier and embarrassed. But since he's stubborn he'll only double down on his behavior.

● If you ever decided to ask him out, he'd reject you because you beat HIM to it, and he's just that petty. but IF he asked you out and you rejected him, he'd insist until you said yes. And if you didn't he'd never talk to you again out of embarrassment.

● He will want you to find him attractive. He doesn't want you to be disgusted by him because he's aware that sometimes he acts like a rabid animal. He won't always try to be nonchalant

● He's a very honest person. He won't lie to you or anybodies face. even if he accepts that he likes you, he will want you to become better, he wouldn't wanna keep you in the dark about something.

●He be switching up sometimes. If he ever forced himself to try and have a conversation with you and it goes well, the next moment he's yelling at you for something stupid. Because why the hell is he trying so hard to conversate with you? But he can't help it, he'll subconsciously plan what he's gonna say to you and hates when it doesn't go his way. Denki got in his way? Boom! No more Kaminari.

● It's already cannon that he is SO nosy. God forbid you do something embarrassing thinking your ever alone.

● When you say something he thinks is funny, he forces himself not to laugh so he seems nonchalant? he doesn't know why he does this (he thinks his laugh is horrendous)

● Gets super mad if he's going out of his way to impress you and someone's else distracts you. 1. why is he trying to impress you and 2. His attempts were for nothing because when he turned around you were talking to denki, and that made him feel silly.

● If you playfully tell him to shut up, he might take it literally if he can't tell. He wants you to like him, because why should he be the only one 'suffering' because of his emotions. He's secretly worried about what you think of him.

● If you didn't listen to his every command during training or a mission he would be annoyed, but excited because your giving him a challenge, a reason to prove how good he is. But if you did listen to him when he bossed you around he would probably end up also listening to you during those moments as well.

● if he EVER gives you advice and you didn't take it. don't ever expect it again.

● His encouragement would sound super backhanded and come across as more of an insult. if you were feeling nervous and he said something like " Quit being like these lame extras and go do something badass, or else I'll make you regret it!" but he's not insulting you.

● Is not a sweet talker. You'd think he's your biggest hater but really he just likes you. Which is why he's always finding ways to get your attention, usually indirectly like being a show off.

● He finally stopped ignoring you and accepted his crush on you. And you'd both get into arguments pretty often about the STUPIDEST things.

●.When he feels butterflies around you, he'd immediately walk away. He HATES the butterflies and always grumbles about them, complaining about lunch rush being a terrible chef or whoever was cooking his meal that day.

● He accepted that you've been worthy enough for him to have feelings for you. and he'd hype himself up, cause what reason would there be to not like the future no.1 hero? but on the inside he's scared you probably don't like him, because most of your interactions are him brushing you off and backhanded comments, or petty arguments.

● Will try to stand out more around you for some reason to impress you. he knows he's the best, but he wants to make sure you know it.

● If he ever studders around you, he'd start yelling at you to shut up, and then go blow Denki up.

● He'd try so hard to be non-chalant around you, but fails 2 minutes later after throwing a yelling fit. He stopped trying when he realized you didn't seem to mind his yelling.

● Will try to do nice things for you but make it seem like he's begrudgingly doing you a favor, and that your just slowing him down.

● Would call you a lot more mean nicknames instead of just extra. not teddy bear, but a nickname he made up relating to your features. Like Kirishima is shitty hair for example.

● He is not changing his sleeping schedule just so he can stay up with the class and play Mario cart with you

● He'd threaten the life of anybody who caught onto his feelings for you, but there wasn't much he could do when even Mr. Aizawa noticed (was he that obvious?)

● Would lie awake thinking of things to get you out his mind, like insulting you for some mistakes you made. It didn't work because he knew you learned from them and got better unlike a weak extra.

● If you couldn't defend yourself he wouldn't do it for you. but if you didn't CARE to defend yourself but he know you could, he'd go threaten the life of whom was disrespectful or simply pissed all over your name or something.

● Once he learned your favorite food, he made it often but denied any accusations towards him when you said it was your favorite. Even once said it was his favorite and you copied him.

● wouldn't make any sort of move on you

● wouldn't want anything sexual with you during his time at U.A. he probably wouldn't even wanna date you until he graduated. His focus is entirely based on becoming better, training, and becoming no.1

● He started being distracted by his feelings for you, so if he messed up even a little bit. Automatically your fault

● He if you ever slacked off he would start to slowly lose feelings if your behavior wasn't changing.

● A compulsive liar, he makes up shit to be funny and then denies it when you say "really?" but he doesn't lie about anything that's actually true.

IF you were dating ೃ⁀➷

● I highly doubt he would even consider relationships until he graduated from U.A. even if he did during highschool, I'm sure the relationship would end faster then it started.

● he'd be very hesitant in opening himself up to the fact you both weren't platonic anymore

● he would need a minute to get uses to the dynamic switch.

● he also wouldn't hide your relationship, he isn't afraid of other peoples opinions or judgment. he wouldn't have gotten with you if he was ashamed of you or wanted you to be asecret. If you were dating it would mean you were important to him.

● He also would be less bothered about you knowing things he kept secret from everyone else.

● His boundaries would be non negotiable, he expects you to follow his boundaries just as he would yours.

● He'd be very protective over you. Dating you means he's come to terms that your strength matches up to him or falls closely behind his. If someone ever mistreated you (not including training etc) then he wouldn't hesitate to fix it.

● would never say "I love you" or anything that cheesy if you said it to him. But he would acknowledge it by nodding or a look of appreciation. Though he would likely say it if there was an emergency or you truly just needed to hear it from him.

● He would ask for your opinions more then anyone else's. and would reluctantly accept any corrections you had if he could understand why you'd said it.

● He'd be okay with you being in his personal space, most comfortable with it further into the relationship

● He's not gonna half ass it if he ever does start dating you. Because that would mean he's a slack off and he was wasting his time, so yes he would put effort into it... in his own way.

● arguments would be very one sided with him, if you had an issue with anything he was doing he'd yell at you or dismiss you without realizing it mightve been a genuine issue for you but he would try to fix whatever it was as long as it was too grand and went against his standards

● Is a man of his actions. He needs to apologize? he'd rather do it with his actions, he knows by now he isn't great with words at all and would probably mess things up further.

● He wouldn't be controlling in a unhealthy sense, but he would keep tabs on what your doing most of the time. he'd likely have your schedule memorized.

● Rarely, he'd let you stay near him as he's working on his pro hero gear. He's picky on who gets to see, and he likes to keep certain aspects of his designs hidden for his own advantage, but your an exception.

● he is amazing at noticing tiny details and changes in your atmosphere. He'd be able to tell if something was up.

● He would have to trust you of course to even consider dating you. Sometimes he'd get annoyed at how easily confident he was in your words, how well he listened to you and barely questioning things.

● He can be very level headed when it matters. Instead of act on impulse with you, he'd be careful when he's expressing his emotions or yours that he doesn't deal well with.

● he won't lower his standards for you. He'd expect you to uphold yourself without relying on solely him, if you couldn't do that he'd end the relationship that quick.

● He wouldn't discard your personal interests, even if he believed some were dumb, he'd listen to you talk about them. Although sometimes he'd tune you out if it was something he couldn't for the life of him understand.

● Would be honest if you did something gross or disgusting.

● You would not be the most important thing in his life, though he would hold you at a higher level of importance compared to other things.

● His focus would never move away from being the best, but he'd make sure you were also involved in his life as he aspired to become no.1 If he was busy, he'd allow you to watch or train with him.

● most likely wouldn't initiate any intimacy like forms of touching until he got a little older or of yall had been dating for a long while.

● No, he's not gonna call you baby or teddy bear. He will not catch himself being cringe. he'll most likely still call you idiot or dumbass like everyone else, but sometimes he means it in a caring way.

● He won't change his personality for you, he won't randomly try to he different with his humor to make you laugh. he'll say his usual backhanded comments that are unintentionally funny. Whenever he does say something funny, he'll make sure to not laugh to seem cool.

● He won't try to be quieter either, he'll be just as loud it's part of who he is. he tried being quieter and almost had a stroke.

● But he isn't an asshole, if he knows you have a headache or your genuinely having a bad day he'll tone it down a bit.

● It's practically cannon that he's obserbative, so if you dint tell him he'll probably find out. And most of the time he can tell when your feeling anxious or if your angry at him.

● Bakugo won't believe you should settle for how he is and not try to be better around you. he wont have a "she's lucky I even noticed her" type mentality. you won't catch him lacking, but one day he might look at himself and be like "why the hell am I doing this?"

● He won't be horrible to you, like he's not gonna forget to buy you gifts on holidays or important dates like your birthday. He'll get you a gift that's well thought out and one you'll like, once again he's very obserbative and took time to learn what you liked.

● He also won't disrespect you by making fun of your trauma or things that he knows make you extremely uncomfortable. He's not a monster. He won't outloudly say you can speak to him about it. He assumes you know he's available. He also won't gush all over you when you do, but he'll let you know he's listening. But if you're not that close yet, don't bombard him with personal crap.

[shiftinglea]

Death doesn’t exist.

Interestingly, in order for me to accept that I was the creator of my life, I had to learn more about death. It was a missing puzzle piece that allowed me to remember that I am God and can manifest whatever I desire.

But before that, I was quite doubtful about my ability to create. I would persist and believe (or try to anyway), but underneath all that, I had this encompassing fear of failure. Fear that by the end of my life, I would still not have succeeded with my manifestations. Fear of dying in regret and disappointment for not experiencing the life I desire.

And I thank my soul for guiding me to the book “Home with God” by Neal Donald Walsch, which allowed me to remember that there is no death. This book is a dialogue between the author and The God (aka the source of everything). When I was reading that book, it didn’t feel like I was learning something new. It felt like remembering something I already knew.

And in this post, I’ll be sharing information about death from that dialogue. Obviously, it’s your choice to believe it. But I would recommend you not listen to your mind. Listen to your soul; it speaks to you through your feelings. Intuition. Allow yourself to FEEL the information I’m sharing. Do not use logic for that; it’s quite limiting. So here we go:

Learning about death allowed me to stop fearing dying in regret and disappointment, which then produced confidence in my manifesting abilities and feeling at total peace every single day. There is nothing to be afraid of. Why? Because death doesn’t exist, and this is what I mean by that:

When people speak of death, they mean the end of life. But your life never ends. It’s the physical body that dies, and then at that moment, you discover that you are still alive. You keep on existing just in a different form. Death is simply an experience of leaving 3D and entering another dimension. And what’s the most fascinating thing: it’s different for everyone, or the experience of it is more like. Same with your life in physical form: it’s different for everyone depending on your beliefs, perception, and assumptions. You choose the experience of your life (consciously or unconsciously). The same with death: you choose your own experience of it. But what’s the same for everyone is that “death” has 3 stages.

The first stage is the same for everyone. “In stage one, at the moment of your death, you will instantly experience that life has gone on. This will be the same for everyone. There could be a brief period of disorientation, as you come to realize that you are not with your body, but, instead, are now separate from it.” During this stage, you realize even though your body died, your life hasn’t ended. For most people, it will be the first time they realize that they aren’t their bodies. The body is something you have. It’s not what you are. And then you move into the next stage.

The second stage is where everyone’s experience is unique depending on their beliefs about what happens after death:

• If you believe in reincarnation, for instance, you may experience moments from previous lives of which you have no previous conscious memory.

• If you believe that you will be enfolded in the embracing arms of an unconditionally loving God, that will be your experience.

• If you believe in a Day of Judgment or a Time of Reckoning, followed by paradise or damnation for all eternity, you will experience being judged and the judgment will turn out exactly as you imagined it would.

• If you died thinking that you deserve heaven, you will immediately experience that, and if you think that you deserve hell, you will immediately experience that. Heaven will be exactly as you imagined it would be, as will hell. If you have no idea about the specifics of either, you will make them up right on the spot. Then, these places will be created for you that way, instantly. You may remain in these experiences as long as you wish.

What’s important to know is that there is no Hell. But you can create hell for yourself if you choose to or believe that’s what you deserve.

However, you won’t stay there for one moment longer than you choose to. The moment you decide that you are done experiencing it, it’s finished. The same with Heaven.

Everyone remembers in the 2nd stage that they create their reality: in the physical and spiritual. In the physical realm, our creations may be delayed. But in the spiritual realm, our manifestations are instant. So you can experience whatever you desire for however long you wish. You can relive your life again or create a new one and enjoy that life for however long you want, and it will feel as real as in 3D. So during the 2nd stage, souls remember that they create their experiences and it’s instant. When they are done experiencing their creations, they move to the 3rd stage.

During the 3rd stage, you experience Ultimate Reality, which is merging with the Essence (God/Creator of all). You are enveloped with the infinite source of love and peace. You become one with The Creator. This is where you came from. It’s pure void. You are a pure being.

Every aspect of itself, every “good” and “bad” trait the soul thought it had is being absorbed by the Creator. It melts all shame, pride, fears, every character trait and leaves the soul with a beautiful emptiness. Experiencing nothing but Oneness. “Now you are merged with this Light and you feel dissolved. This “melting” completes the change in your identity. You no longer identify yourself in any way or at any level with the separate aspect of being that you called “you” in your physical life.”

The most fascinating thing is that you can experience the merging with everything during your physical life. This is what the void is for. When you reach the void state, you merge with Oneness where creation is instant.

During the 3rd stage of death, you can stay merged with the Creator for as long as you desire. But you won’t stay there forever because that’s it’s not what you desire. Because if you stay forever in this pure bliss and ecstasy, you would stop identifying it as “bliss” and “ecstasy”. Because there is nothing else there. There is no opposite of that. So you will desire to recreate yourself anew and choose your next physical incarnation because that’s the only way for you to experience your own magnificence.

The purpose of death is to reestablish your identity and to help you remember who you really are: One with God, an infinite source of creation. The purpose of physical life is to experience this knowing.

I want to point out the importance of your system of beliefs because they shape your life and your death (during the 2nd stage). You are constantly creating your reality. In physical life and after that. Some people think different rules apply in death (or in life). But no, it’s the same rules, the only difference is that your creations are instant after death. But again, they can be instant in your physical realm if you choose to believe that you can create instantly. It’s all about your beliefs and assumptions.

For most people who aren’t into LOA and don’t know that that’s are creators of their reality, their “death” will be the moment of remembrance that they are indeed creators. That they never stopped creating and they will see it clearly. But they don’t have to wait until death to experience themselves as God and creators. You can do it in physical life. It’s always your choice. You shape your life in physical and your life in spiritual.

For me, knowing more about death allowed me to stop feeling anxious about whether I’ll manifest my dream life before I die. The fact is that I never die, I just change my form. Life is eternal. It’s the body that dies. But you are not your body. It’s something you have. It helps you to experience wonderful things that you have chosen to experience.

[rottenpumpkin13]

I'm miserable today so I'll be casting my period cramps upon AGSZC and the Turks. How does that go?

Sephiroth: *curled in fetal position on the floor* "This is manageable. The spasms occur at precise 4.7-minute intervals, meaning I can anticipate and prepare—" *Suddenly, a period cramp electrocutes him like a bolt from Zeus himself. His entire body convulses, limbs flailing as he flops helplessly against the floor like a fish out of water*

Genesis: *sprawled dramatically across the couch, one arm draped over his forehead like a dying opera singer* "Even in the throes of agony, my elegance remains untarnished. My composure, unshaken. This pain—this merciless, soul-rending torment—threatens my very being, a cruel reminder of life's fleeting—" *he gets a cramp* "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK—HOLY SHIT. I AM PERISHING. I AM BEING SMITED BY THE GODDESS HERSELF. THIS IS HOW I DIE. CALL A PRIEST, CALL A SUMMON, CALL MY FUCKING LAWYER—"

Angeal: *pacing the room like a man with somewhere very important to be but no idea where that is, visibly sweating* "I'm fine. Totally fine. This is nothing. This is...just a different kind of honor. Builds character. Toughens the spirit."

Zack: *writhing on the floor* "MAKE IT STOP! HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS!?" *He reaches for Cloud like he's the holy light at the end of the tunnel* "Cloud, buddy, I'm dying. Tell my mom I fought bravely. Tell Genesis he can have my cool jacket. Tell Kunsel—" *he gasps, clutching at his chest like a tragic protagonist* "—actually, don't tell him anything, he still owes me 500 gil fuck him—"

Cloud: *frantically mixing things in a bowl while doubled over* "Mom always said when the gods curse your gut, you mix honey with hot sauce and vinegar, but it HAS to be bought with your own hard earned money. Then add exactly three and a half crushed potato chips—regular chips summon bad luck, has to be the rippled ones—stir it with a fork that's NEVER touched eggs, and then you—" *Cloud suddenly doubles over, clutching his stomach as the wrath of the gods strike him down* "Oh no. Oh no, they saw me hesitate!"

Reno: *draped over his desk* "This is worse than that time Cissnei tasered me 'cause she thought I was checking out her ass—when really, I was just picking up a gil coin she dropped. Which, now that I think about it, means I technically stole from her. So honestly? She should've tasered me anyway. Yo, Rude! Carry me to the break room! I need like... fifty painkillers and that bottle of sake Tseng thinks we don't know about!"

Tseng: *sits at his desk, spine straight as a ruler, expression unreadable, the very picture of composure—if you ignore the faint sheen of sweat on his forehead and the barely perceptible tremor in his hand as he sips his tea* This is the same man who once reviewed mission reports with both legs in casts. Who attended a board meeting while actively bleeding from a bullet wound. Who once politely asked an enemy combatant to "wait a moment" so he could finish signing off on supply requisitions before engaging in a life-or-death fight.

Rufus: *sprawled out on his office floor like a fallen king* "Cancel all my meetings. Actually, cancel the whole damn week. No, cancel existence. This is worse than getting shot. Worse than the attempted coup. Worse than that time I had to shake hands with that sweaty politician from Junon. Someone bring me the most expensive chocolate money can buy. And fire whoever invented cramps." *A long silence. Then, he turns his head slightly to stare at Tseng* "Why don't you love me?"

[seventeendeer]

this isn't at all meant to be condescending or finger-waggy because 100% we all have blind spots like this, but I'm really, really hoping that the people who never found Gaiman's approach to his own fandom concerning in any way will take this all as a learning moment.

he was an older, hyper-famous author engaging directly and frequently with an online audience of largely vulnerable young marginalized people. he presented himself as cultured and worldly, and made himself approachable as someone to go to for advice, encouragement and "wisdom." his manner of speech was extremely pathos-heavy and clearly intended to be comforting and encouraging in exactly the way his target demographic needed it to be to swallow every word. the way he spoke about stories and creativity was designed to make young creative hopefuls feel special and important, while sweeping real analytical techniques under the rug - in hindsight, likely so no one would think too critically about the disturbing amount of patriarchal abuse played for cheap shock value and voyerism in his own body of works.

Gaiman saw a target demographic that was desperate for an older creative role model to tell them they were worth something, and he exploited that pain to twist a narrative around himself where he was king and any critique leveled at him or his works were the enemy.

to be clear, he could have been innocent. he could totally have been just an out-of-touch old man saying nice things to people because he wanted to be kind and he thought he was a lot smarter than he really was. red flags are warning signs, not a surefire way to tell if someone is actually "secretly shitty."

but if you used to look up to him, PLEASE take this moment to revisit the ideas you absorbed from him. did you take his words to heart because they seemed to have objective merit? or did you take them to heart because it felt good to believe what he said? do you still hold these values? does knowing he was intentionally manipulating his online audience make you less certain? do you need more information from a different source before deciding one way or another?

again, I'm just really, really hoping people on here will take a moment to reevaluate the ideas and opinions he's injected into tumblr fandom culture, because his reach is immense and he has absolutely been manipulating popular perception of relevant topics to gain further influence and control the narrative around both his own and Pratchett's legacy. please, please take this moment to notice what he's been doing - and next time someone tries to pull the same shit, hopefully we'll be able to apply what we've learned from experience.

[glittervame]

Oh....Happy Valentine's Day

Theodore Nott x FEM!Y/n

Theo and Y/n are STEP siblings, they are not related

Warning: Smut +18 MDI, Wrap it before you tap it, humiliation, fingering, creampie, spanking, spit kink, doggy, rough sex, Theo refers to self as big brother and Y/n as sister, dubcon

Theodore, often affectionately called Theo, is the epitome of the term "Golden child."

With his mousy-brown hair and a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts, he has been basking in the warm embrace of favoritism ever since their parents' marriage three years ago.

In the short time he has been part of the family, he has managed to win everyone over with his charm, leaving little room for doubt about who the apple of everyone's eye truly is.

Theo is a star athlete at school, a straight-A student, and life of the party. Theo balances his extracurricular activities with his academic responsibilities as if juggling flaming torches was a piece of cake. He's the kind of person who makes success look easy, as if it's an inherent trait rather than the result of hard work and sacrifice.

He carries himself with a grace that is both captivating and disarming. He is the life of every party, the first to crack a joke, and the last to leave a conversation without making sure everyone has felt included. His laughter is infectious, a sound that lights up the room.

No one knows what he's like behind closed doors except for Y/n, who shares a house with him, it's a side of Theo that's a stark contrast to the public's perception. 

Y/n and Theo had been sharing a house together, a token of their parent's graduation gift, to help them both financially as they pursue their dreams in the same city.

Theo brings girls home all the time, but none of them ever seem to last. One night could find Theo going down on a Burnett in the middle of their shared living room, the next night she'll find him with a girl with raven hair in the pool making out.

It's a pattern that's grown old, but one Y/n has learned to ignore, after all, it's Theo's life and he can live it however he pleases.

But don't even get her started on when she tries to bring a guy home for the once-in-a-while casual hookup. Theo turns into a completely different person, a protective big brother that she never knew existed. He'd grill the poor soul until they were practically begging to leave, making it clear that no one is good enough for her.

Y/n's friends think it's hot that she has Theodore as a stepbrother and how protective he is about boys. The month after their parents had gotten married they literally gave her a list of the reasons why she should jump at the opportunity.

"Come on, Y/n, he's like the boy version of you," one friend had said with a wink and a nudge. "Smart, good looking, athletic..."

"...and totally off-limits," she'd finished with a sigh.

They giggled, sharing knowing glances, while she rolled her eyes. Sure, Theodore was all of those things, but he was also her stepbrother. Plus, she didn't have a crush on him. Not at all. Okay, maybe just a tiny one, but it was nothing to write home about.

Her friends had only met him a handful of times, but they were obsessed with the idea of a forbidden romance. They'd seen too many movies and read too many steamy novels. Y/n knew that the reality was far from the fantasy.

Theodore was actually pretty annoying. He was always around, always teasing her, always in her space. It was like he enjoyed getting under her skin. But, she had to admit, he had his moments. Even through his "casual" relationships, Theo is incredibly attentive to Y/n. He makes sure she's okay, asks her about her day, and even goes so far as to cook for her when she's had a bad one.

He's been weird with her for the past few weeks, getting more touchy-feely than usual. It started with the playful shoves in the kitchen that turned into lingering touches on the small of her back. It's been driving her crazy, making her feel things she shouldn't.

Y/n's thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the front door slamming shut. She looks up from her book to see Theo strolling in, sweaty from soccer practice. His shirt clings to his chest, showcasing his well-defined abs. She tries not to stare, really, she does, but it's like her eyes have a mind of their own.

"Hey," he says casually, dropping his bag on the floor.

"Theo, please, not in the living room," she says, her voice a little more breathless than she intended.

He grins at her, that annoyingly charming grin that makes her knees go a little wobbly. "What's cooking?"

"I'm not your personal chef," she retorts, but she can't help the smile that tugs at the corners of her mouth.

"Come on, you know I'm useless in the kitchen." He winks and she can feel her cheeks heat up. "Unless it's eating I'm good at that." he winks.

Why does he have to be so... so... him?

"Fine, fine, I'll heat up some leftovers."

As she stands, he wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her into a side-hug. "You're the best," he says into her hair.

Her heart skips a beat, and she can feel the warmth of his breath on her neck. It's nothing she hasn't felt before, but today, it feels... different. She pulls away quickly, blaming it on the heat of the kitchen.

"So, any new boys sniffing around?" he asks, as if he doesn't already know the answer.

"None that are worth mentioning," she says with a shrug.

"Good."

The way he says it sends a shiver down her spine. It's possessive, protective. And she hates that she likes it.

They spend the rest of the evening watching a movie, their legs entwined on the couch. His arm is thrown casually around her shoulder, and she tells herself it's just because they're family now. But when his hand brushes against her thigh, she can't help but wonder if there's something more to it.

That was months ago though, now Y/n was crying in her room, her heart broken because she had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend out of the blue. Her room was a mess, her eyes were puffy and red, and her nose was definitely not as pretty as it used to be.

The door creaks open, and she sees Theo standing there, holding a bowl of ice cream. "I heard you crying," he says softly. "Thought this might help."

Y/n sniffs and takes the bowl gratefully. "Thanks," she murmurs, taking a spoonful. It's mint chocolate chip cookie dough, her favorite.

They sit in silence for a while, the only sound being the occasional sniffle from her and the scooping of ice cream.

"He didn't deserve you," Theo says eventually.

"You don't know him," she replies, but she appreciates the sentiment.

"I don't have to. You deserve someone who treats you like a queen." he says as he pulls her into his side fingers running through her hair as  he grabs the remote and puts on their favorite show.

The words hang in the air, and she can't help but look up at him. His eyes are filled with something she can't quite read, something that makes her heart race a little faster.

"You're sweet," she whispers, taking another bite of ice cream.

"I try," he says, giving her a smile.

As they watch the TV, his thumb brushes against her cheek, wiping away a stray tear. And in that moment, she can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, her friends were right. Maybe Theodore isn't so annoying after all. Maybe he's exactly what she needs.

“I wouldn’t put you through this...” Theo coos as he pulls away slightly to look into her eyes, his own filled with sincerity. “You deserve better than that, Y/n.”

Their eyes lock, and she can feel the tension in the air thickening. She’s never noticed how close their lips are when they’re just sitting together, casually talking. It’s like the universe is playing a cruel trick on her.

“You... you don’t think it’s weird?” she stammers, setting the bowl aside.

Theo looks confused for a moment before his eyes widen in realization. “You mean us?”

Y/n nods, feeling her cheeks burn even hotter.

He takes a deep breath before leaning in closer, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. “Why would it be weird?” he whispers, his breath ghosting over her lips. And then he kisses her. It’s gentle at first, as if he’s testing the waters, but when she doesn’t pull away, it deepens. His arms wrap around her, pulling her closer until she’s practically in his lap.

It’s wrong, she knows it is, but it feels so right. And for the first time in a long time, Y/n feels alive. Her heart is racing, her body is singing, and she can’t get enough of his taste.

They break apart, panting slightly, and she looks up at him, her eyes wide. “Theo..."

He couldn't resist the urge to run his hands through her hair and gently pull it, tipping her head back to expose her neck to his hungry mouth. She gasped at the sensation, her body responding to his.

He couldn't resist the urge to run his hands through her hair and gently pull it, tipping her head back to expose her neck to his hungry mouth. She gasped at the sensation, her body responding to his dominance.

"Theo...we shouldn't be doing this."

With one hand firmly gripping the base of her neck, Theodore's other hand roamed down to her thighs, his fingers tracing the outline of her panties. He could feel the heat radiating from her core, and his cock grew harder at the thought of what was to come.

He slid her panties to the side, exposing her wet, pink pussy. He groaned with pleasure, feeling his own arousal grow as he saw her reaction to his touch. He slid a single digit into her, watching as she bit her bottom lip to stifle a moan. He began to pump his finger in and out of her, increasing the pace as her hips began to move in sync with his hand.

“This right here … if I put my fingers in here.. it’ll make you feel so good. Isn’t that what you want kiddo? To feel good?”

Y/n's hands found their way to his shoulders, her nails digging in as she grew more and more desperate. "teddy...." 

Theodore's teeth grazed her neck, sending shivers down her spine, as he inserted another finger into her, stretching her even further. He could feel her tightening around him, her body begging for more.

Withdrawing his fingers, he brought them to his mouth and tasted her sweetness, watching her eyes go wide with a mix of shock and arousal. He leaned in closer, whispering into her ear, "You're so fucking wet for me, baby."

Without warning, he slammed his mouth down onto hers, biting her bottom lip hard enough to draw a drop of blood. He didn’t stop, instead using his thumb to wipe it away, bringing it back to her mouth for her to taste. The metallic tang of her own blood mixed with the salty flavor.

"This is wrong… we really can’t..." Your face flushes out of embarrassment, lips brushing against his.

Theodore leaned over her, his hand sliding down to her pussy again. He inserted his fingers into her tight, wet warmth and began to pump them in and out, curling them slightly to hit her g-spot. She whimpered and arched her back, her hips bucking up to meet his hand.

He leaned down and began to kiss her again, his tongue sliding into her mouth. He felt her hands tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, her teeth grazing his lower lip. He matched her ferocity, his own teeth sinking into her lip, tugging gently before releasing.

"You like that?" he murmured against her mouth, his fingers working her into a frenzy. " your little pussy’s so messy, look how much she's talkin' to me.” he says as he moves his fingers faster.

Y/n could only nod, her eyes glazed with desire. Theodore took that as his cue to slide his fingers out of her, only to replace them with his thumb. He began to rub her clit in slow circles, watching her body tense and release as she grew closer to her climax.

As she came, she threw her head back, crying out his name, her body shuddering with pleasure. He kissed along her neck, feeling her pulse race under his lips. He knew he had her exactly where he wanted her: desperate and willing to do anything for more.

"Good girl," he whispered, his hand still resting gently on her pussy. "Now, let's see if I can make you do that again."

Happy Valentine's day <3

Will you be my Valentine?

[upsidedownmvnson]

dungeons and douchebags | eddie munson

where eddie munson kills your dnd character out of spite & you end up in the hospital in the same day. eddie, of course, blames only himself.

full fic of this blurb :)

AN: i named the third guy keith bc he needed a name, and if his role was pre-established im SORRY but hes a mage. a lot of the dnd stuff im sure is wrong and doesnt work but let me live

also i love this so u should to

also also I KNOW ITS A SHITTY THING FOR A DM TO DO - thats the point

Eddie’s annoyed with you when you’re not on time for Hellfire.

You know he’s sensitive about starting on time, but still you were running late again, even though this time you promised it would be different, and you would even be early.

And Eddie had foolishly believed you again. It hurt especially, because even though you were just friends, Eddie was so painfully in love with you. All day every day, he was pining, yearning, longing. You were on his mind all the time, and you... you couldn't even bother to be on time for Hellfire.

When he begged you to be on time earlier in the day, he had made sure to mention that it would mean a lot to him if you were on time. And he thinks that if you love him back, you'll definitely care when he communicates something like that.

He knows he shouldn't let himself feel like this, but every Friday he's reminded that he's not special to you. He's not the one person you're always on time for. Eddie thinks, somehow, that if you're on time for Hellfire, well then maybe you like him too. It's silly, but it's what he does. It gets more painful as time goes on and you're still not there.

The mood slowly shifts to something tense as time ticks on. You’re always a couple minutes late but nearly an hour? Eddie is painfully frustrated, and his feelings are hurt. Eddie has overthught himself to a dramatic conclusion that you've decided you're above Hellfire.

While the party chats on totally unaware, barely even recognizing that they still haven't started, Eddie thinks you've looked in the mirror and recognized that you're better than them. That you can, and should, have everything and everyone you want. He thinks you'll want to be with a jock. Or maybe a cheerleader. He thinks you've decided not to love him.

In a fit of self pity and rage, he decides to leave your character behind, so the party left you alone, sleeping in a cave.

"Attention," Eddie says, "the sun is rising. It's time to pack your bags and move on."

Dustin looks confused, "where's y/n?"

"Who knows?" Eddie tries to look unamused to hide his pain, but it slips, and ends up just looking angry.

Eddie rolls a perception check for you to see if you wake up. He rolls an 18. And with your build you would've noticed the group leaving without you. Eddie is still think about you in the arms of a jock. "She fails." Eddie looks at the group with an evil grin. "You leave the camp unnoticed."

As the game goes on, Eddie feels crappy. He's never cheated like that before. Like, sure, he's changed a roll or two to make the plot better, or to not totally kill one of his players because some random NPC got a nat 20. That was his right as DM. But... leaving you like that was less than cool.

But even worse, when they return to the cave later, you're stuck in a bandit situation. Eddie really, truly, genuinely expected the party to save you. Except, one thing led to another, and you were stabbed through stomach, making you bleed out. Normally, this is where you'd roll your life saving throws.

It wasn't really supposed to play out like that. But he didn't expect the party to roll such terrible throws, all of them accidently leaving you defenseless. Eddie kinda feels bad, but you hurt him first.

What he doesn't expect is Steve Harrington bursting into the drama room, looking frenzied, just a few moments later. The party halts. The last thing happening in the game was the party finishing off the last bandit, and running to your aid. But now, they were all just staring at Steve. Eddie approached his friend, worried about the look in Steve’s eyes.

Steve stood up straight, and cleared his throat. Weakly he says, “something terrible happened.”

And then Steve tells them all about your car accident, and Eddie feels sick. His knees buckle, and Steve has to hold him up. He’s totally disoriented by this news. He feels his heartbeat pounding behind his eyes, and his ears ring loudly, barely registering the panicked talking going on around him

“They're alive,” Steve was shouting, but because people weren’t letting him talk, he had to keep shouting it over the hundred questions. They wouldn't be able to handle it. Not again. Not when Max still hasn't woken up. “Eddie? Can you hear me buddy?”

But Eddie was in shock. He was blaming himself. He killed you.

“Can you walk? I'll drive you,” Steve says, as Gareth searches Eddie's pockets for the keys to the van. “Dustin, get over here, help me get Eddie to the car.” Eddie overhears Jeff tell everyone to meet at the van.

As soon as they get moving, the adrenaline starts pumping through Eddie’s body. He was suddenly able to break free of his friends' aid and pick up his pace, and the three of them ran through the school and into the parking lot. The dim light Steve parked by was flickering, putting a weak spotlight on Eddie as he tugged the door handle on the passenger seat

“Let me unlock it,” Steve snapped, fumbling the keys in his hand. He dropped them, the pressure of Eddie’s stare was kinda terrifying. He got the door open and unlocked the others.

When they were in the car, Eddie was finally alert, if anything overaware.

“What the fuck is going on?” he snapped.

No one said anything. There was nothing they could say that would make Eddie feel better, or calm down. Steve sped out of the parking lot, blowing the stop sign. He really shouldn't have, given the whole reason you were in the hospital.

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut. This wasn't happening. He was wrong. He was being petty and he was hurt because he thought you were being a dick but you were - he was gunna throw up - you were somewhere bleeding. While he was busy killing you, you were actually laying on the asphalt after a violent car crash. And he was thinking you're an asshole

“Their character died,” Eddie said, “I've killed them.”

“It's not gunna happen,” Steve said, gripping the steering wheel. It was a statement he couldn't back up.

At the hospital, Eddie barely waited for the car to stop before he was running inside, tripping over his own feet as he rushed to get to you. dustin was hot on his trail and steve was parking the car.

Eddie saw Nancy with Jonathan over by the nurse's station, and when Nancy saw him, she came hustling over, putting her hands on Eddie's arms. Dustin spoke quietly with Jonathan in the background.

“Relax,” she said, “please breath. They’re okay right now, they’re in surgery, and it's going really well, okay?”

“Wheeler?” Eddie asked, eyes filling with tears he had no control over.

“It has to be fine,” Nancy said, “sit with me.” Nancy Wheeler was not going to lose another friend today. Not again.

And with no other options he listened, following Nancy to an uncomfortable plastic chair that squeaked when he sat. Nancy held his hand over the stiff arm rests, but he didn't find any comfort. He didn't think he would until he was with you again.

Jonathan sat beside Nancy, giving her a sad smile and handing her a bitter coffee. He sat quietly, letting Nancy give Eddie her attention. Dustin sat on the other side of Eddie, also opting to stay quiet. What was anyone supposed to say?

Honestly, the only thing Eddie wanted to hear was your voice.

Nothing changed for the first two days. But on the third day, the only change was in Eddie. He went from sitting quietly by your side to scribbling stuff in a notebook like a crazy person. He would also dip out to go use a library computer, or "check on some things," as he explained to Nancy.

Her and Steve were mutually concerned about Eddie's state. He was constantly babbling about saving you, and how he's figured it out they just have to succeed.

Everyone else got a chance to be worried when they got a call Tuesday saying there was a mandatory Hellfire meeting and anyone not in attendance would be left behind, and unwelcome for the rest of the campaign. He couldn't risk a single missing member. Not with the stakes...

Tuesday evening, Gareth, Jeff, and Keith are the first to arrive. They are curious as to what the hell their bandmate had cooked up, but they were more worried than excited. Eddie hadn't exactly been himself the last couple of days.

They don't expect a set up even more elaborate than usual. The lights are red and blue, making the room feel eerie, and small.

"Welcome to Hell," Eddie said, grinning and holding his arms open wide.

Gareth and Jeff exchanged a look, but were too nervous to speak. Eddie didn't want to explain the objective twice, so he waited for the rest of the party to arrive before he said anything, but the look in his eye feels sinister. His friends suddenly realized how truly fucked Eddie would be if anything happened to you.... like... for keeps.

When the rest of the party is there, they look to Eddie expectantly, but he just continues to smile like a maniac and tells everyone to take their seats. Dustin is confused to see Steve Harrington sneak into the room and lean against the wall.

"I cheated," he says when he has the attention of the flock, "y/n didn't fail the perception check, and therefore their death wasn't fair. However, death is death. So we're going to have to bring them back."

Dustin notices that Steve Harrington's presence is not explained.

Nancy sits at your bedside like she has for the better part of the last four days. She holds a book in one hand, and the other rests casually beside you, near your hand. She looks at you, and then her hand. She gets a supernatural chill.

She puts her book down, and speaks your name quietly, looking for any sign of life from you. One more day of your glass features and she was going to crumble. Nancy shakes the bizarre feeling from her head, and pats your hand.

She shocked when you're ice cold to the touch. She recoils, pulling away fast. But after the initial shock fades, she touches you again. There was no way that was right, right? You were freezing. What the hell was that about? Nancy starts a search for a blanket to warm you up.

A mage freezes your body. The party scavenges for anything that can help and then leave the cave, your frozen body in tow. Another player can't make life saving throws for you, so they were thinking outside the box. They would take you deep, deep into an ancient necromancer's lair, and steal the resurrection stone from around his neck.

Nancy returns with a simply grey blanket, and a very friendly nurse. They had gotten to talking, and Nancy has simply explained how cold you had been, having not thought too much of it. The nurse, Sophie, had decided to come check it out too.

"Oh my gosh," Sophie says, feeling the ice cold skin. "Oh my gosh, she's like ice!"

And leaves Nancy feeling a little worried as she scurries out of the room. It was like she'd never seen anything like it. Nancy feels uneasy, and makes a quick phone call from your bedside phone. Jonathan picks up, and as soon as he hears the concern in her voice, he's on the way.

Nancy hangs up, picks the phone back up, and calls Steve. He picks up on the first ring.

"Something is like... actually happening over here," she whispers, shocked to even be saying it.

"No shot," he says, nearly laughing at the idea. He whispers the next part so the group doesn't hear anything, "I thought we agreed Eddie was just crazy, and this whole 'saving her character will save her' was just to show him that he didn't cause all this."

"I know we did," she said, "but y/n is cold as ice."

Eddie's voice booms as he narrates the perilous journey. After trap rooms, fighting devil dogs, two gargoyles, and a Molydeus that nearly killed Mike. They had made it into the inner sanctum, but had all failed to roll perception upon entering, and set off a fire trap. One that melted the spell on you, leaving you warm enough to die. "Hurry!" Dustin shouted, "engage the necromancer! Hit 'em with everything we got."

Nancy is already back into her book, Jonathan sitting on the floor beside her, leaning his head against the armrest, while she dangles a dainty arm over his shoulder, letting it lay relaxed on his chest. A single beep draws her attention. She notices something different, but she can't say what. Your cheeks are rosy.

Nancy brings her hand off of Jonathan, drawing his attention too. She puts a cool hand against your forehead, and is again shocked by how you feel. You're burning up. You're fucking hot. Like boiling. Nancy runs to find Sophie again.

The turn is Keith's, his mage more powerful than the others, but instead turns his attention to your character. "I cast flesh to stone on y/n!" the mage shouts. "She'll die if she stays like this." "Roll for it!" "18!" "Pass!" Your body is frozen again, this time encased in stone. Another stall, and Eddie knows the party is running out of time.

"You have to feel her head," Nancy says, speed walking with the bubbly nurse hot on her trail. Sophie complies, and gasps.

"It's not possible," she says quietly, "I'm getting the doctor. There's something strange about your friend."

Nancy looks down at you, and jumps out of her skin when the machines start beeping wildly. All of them making different noises, all of them loud. Sophie rushes back in, with more staff behind her. Nancy and Jonathan are ushered out of the room by a woman who explains that you're in a code blue, which means they have to resuscitate you.

Nancy looks around the white hallway. She's overwhelmed and underpaid.

"Stay here," she tells her boyfriend. "This is crazy!"

But she runs off before she explains anything else. She's after a phone, which she finds with no trouble. She fishes a quarter out of her pocket, and uses it to call Steve again. He picks up as fast as last time, desperate for something other than watching dnd.

"Whatever they're doing, tell them to hurry up!" she's shouting, drawing the attention of patients and staff around her. "Something's happening! She's not breathing!"

The necromancer stands injured. The party cornering him, making him cower. He trembles, and begs for his life. He explains that the party came to his home, killed his people, and now wish to rip off the very thing that keeps him alive. "I stab him through the heart, and I take the necklace." Dustin says. As he looks at Steve, he thinks he understands what's going on. "Roll." "For what?" "Dexterity." Dustin rolls his die. The table is silent. The little D20 lands. the group erupts when they see the Nat 20 he rolled, effectively grabbing the necklace and throwing it around your neck from a metre away like horseshoe. As it lands on you, the ground shifts under the party's feet. Everyone stares in silence, both in the campaign and real life. Your character opens her eyes, coughs, and rises.

The party roars to life at the table, cheering at a job well done and slamming hands on the table in excitement. But the cheers are short lived, silence coats the room but this one is different. It's serious, eery. They can see that Steve looks worried, and he's trying to get Nancy to answer him, but he's getting nothing. looking at Steve expectantly. Apparently, everyone had figured out what the plan was. They all knew they were trying to wake you up. Steve says nothing. Just hangs up the phone, looking up with a disappointed frown.

"The line went dead."

Steve is once again driving Eddie to the hospital. And he's a nervous wreck. You're like schrodinger's cat. Eddie doesn't know if you're alive or not. He chews on the side of his thumb during the entire ride. The rest of the club was waiting patiently in the drama room. Eddie and Steve promised to call as soon as they knew anything.

Eddie can't fucking breath as he sprints down the hospital hallways, ignoring every sign and person telling him not to. He doesn't care. He has to get to you.

Wheeler is outside your room talking to a doctor, but with her back to him he couldn't see the bright, beautiful smile on her face talking excitedly about your miraculous recovery. Eddie runs right passed her to your room, and uses the doorframe to propel himself in, scaring both you and Jonathan who had been sitting quietly.

You look pale, and there are bags under your eyes. But you're sporting a weak smile, shaky hands holding a cup of lime jello. Eddie can't help but smile. You're awake, sitting up, and smiling at him. He has to laugh at the like, ten empty jello packages. Jonathan slips out the door without a word, and Eddie takes his seat by your bed.

"I was so fuckin' scared," Eddie says, tears falling from his eyes before he could even process it. He hadn't realized.

You hold your hand out for him and whisper, "Eddie," and he looks up, puppy dog eyes glossy with lingering tears, and heartbreaking to see. He takes your hand. "You didn't do this."

And he cries harder, leaning down and holding your hand to his forehead and begging your forgiveness anyway. "I did," he cries, "out of spite and jealousy, I tried to hurt you, and I did. I let them leave you alone. I made them and I cheated-"

"-Eddie-"

"-and you should've seen the party-"

"-Eddie, seriously-"

"-leaving because you totally passed the, ow, hey!"

You had flicked him on the nose, his babbling giving you no other choice, but as usual he was being dramatic, you hadn't actually hurt him at all.

"Eddie, stop, and listen to me," you say, "you didn't do this. You're not actually all powerful, you know that, right?"

"But-"

"But nothing," you say, smiling. "But Nancy told me that you saved me so no hard feelings."

Eddie smiles back at you, letting you wipe the tears leftover on his flushed cheeks. He leans into your touch and your heart swells. In your mind, you beg him to kiss you. You beg and plead and hope that this will be the time he makes a move.

He knows this is his chance, he leans closer to you, slowly, gauging your reaction. "Is this okay?" he whispers, when he's just an inch from your lips. You feel his breath as he speaks and you can't resist, pushing yourself forward to close the gap. And he kisses you like he's kissed you a hundred times before. Like he already knows everything you will like, even before you do. His lips are so fucking soft against yours, all plush and warm and taking over your senses.

"Well, I guess I can tell the others that you're fine," Steve says, and Eddie pulls away from you. His sudden absence is cold.

"I saved her," Eddie says, grinning. "Nancy said so."

the hair on the back of will's neck having a disco party during this entire fic

[rhineposting]

" X Reader" is such a fascinating sub-genre of fictional romance, especially on Tumblr.

You crack open a character tag and you scroll down a bit, and in less than five minutes you'll find a beautifully embellished post with custom separators and HTML coded text and fonts. The title? Spinky McHotman Fucks You At a Wendy's.

Then, when you open it, you're faced with the most unimaginative, generic and eye-roll worthy slop of a smut you could ever think of. You check again to make sure the writing is actually about Spinky McHotman, because his lines sound like they were written by an underpaid porn screenwriter and acted out by an even more underpaid porn actor. The tags match, it clearly says spinky mchotman x reader.

So, severely disappointed, you scroll for...A grand total of a minute and a half at most, before you're met with an almost identical post. You check the blog just to make sure it's not the same author, but no. It's actually an entirely different person who happens to use the exact same embellishments and the likes. You read this one too out of curiosity, and somehow this is even worse. It reads like a child who just learned the words for genitalia, plagiarizing a Harlequin story from memory after skimming through it for ten minutes before mom came in. Spiky McHotman sounds like a cardboard cutout with sentient family jewels taped to it.

You continue to scroll some more, and you find a blog that specialises in writing X readers for requests. One request seems... Actually interesting, anon might be onto something! And who knows, maybe the blog owner used the idea creatively and oh no, it's just more horny slop. The actual interesting parts of the idea are barely elaborated upon, almost as if the writer was in physical pain writing about something other than sex onomatopoeia and genitalia descriptors for more than two minutes. The rest of the story is more poorly written, generic smut.

Tired, you check the blog, out of exasperated boredom.

Turns out, the writer isn't even in the fandom Spinky McHotman originates from, so their perception of him is based on other fanfics of him. They post 3 x readers daily, and all of them follow the exact same formula, the only changes being in names and places. Each post has a 100 likes at the minimum.

Desperate, you scroll for a little longer, before you officially give up. You ask God to give you a sign of some kind - and moments after, you see it. The sign itself, louder and clearer than an infant's first cry :

Yandere!Spinky McHotman Kidnaps Fem!Reader At A Wendy's

But Spinky McHotman is heavily implied to be a gay man in canon, you remember while recovering from the psychic flash bang.

[king-wens-king]

UrGHHH mild ramble but severance is truly the best in the game right now because 1) its an original story not based on previous ip and 2) the commitment to the bit. I talked before how the truman show was a rare gem not just because of its premise but also because of its attention to detail manifested by its production design and writing and severance is totally on par with it.

Severance's worldbuilding doesn't rely on exposition dumps, instead it trusts the audience to ask questions when details are revealed here and there the same way we trust it to give us an answer to certain things later. Another thing to note is that when it answers, it doesn't give the whole picture, just more questions that are still fascinating and engaging. We're introduced to this world and the characters from the jump. However what I think he show is truly masterful at is really commiting to the characters perception of this world, particularly the newness of an encounter and how it handles their experiences by putting us in their shoes. It commits to the emotions and the reactions of the characters as much as the information being introduced.

The closest we get to exposition dumps are helenas statement of consent recording that helly watches and irvings tour in the perpetuity room. This gives more details of the company and what their working lives actually entail, but it's always contextualised through the perspective of these characters. Helly watches in horror as she realises that the person who put her there is her own self, that they are both different people with different motivations, and that she is essentially trapped. Irving displays the devotion he has to this pseudo religious cult company and how he uses it as motivation for ascribing meaning to what little life he has. Every piece of information we have about the world is also information about what these characters think, feel, and who they are.

Theres also information that is introduced to the audience first before the characters. We know Gemma's alive, but Mark Scout still isn't sure of that. But it still hits really REALLY hard when he agrees in instant to go under reintegration – "I wanna see my wife" and a rushing tear falls from his face.

It really adds to the immersiveness of the story, this empathy that we have for these innies and their experiences. This world is new and dangerous and full of things we don't understand, and just like the innies we're doing our best to figure out whats going on without getting a heart attack. Sometimes too, whats obvious to us isn't always obvious to them. The show never downplays the reactions from preestablished information the characters are only now learning, it truly commits to the intensity of a moment and handles it with seriousness and sincerity. It's all about the DRAMA.

CJ the X's video on skipping the first five minutes of tangled pretty much sums up what I'm talking about here. They explain that without the 5 minute exposition dump, we are looking st the world through rapunzel's eyes where everything is new scary but exciting.

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Now that you've read PJO: would you say that your perception of Annabeth and Percy has changed? I remember you had some dislike to her character before you started reading the book and I was wondering if that was still tha same thing and how you likened Percy with Harry as protagonists

Hi anon! That's a good question! I was planning on drafting up a post relating to this :)

Let me start with Annabeth. I entered PJO fandom not really knowing who she was and then disliking her because of Percabeth. I honestly don't even remember where my initial dislike came from. Oh, I think a lot of my initial PJO tumblr posts were anti Percabeth so that coloured how I saw her. Outside of Percabeth, I did not care about her nor did I have any desire to learn more about her. But I tend to be more invested/obsessed with male characters over female ones, so that wasn't Annabeth's fault. After reading sections of the books, I still don't care about her but I have more appreciation for Annabeth as a quest partner and her relationship with Thalia and Luke. I also don't like her personality. There are cute Percabeth moments I enjoy, like Percy comforting Annabeth after the sirene scene and the times when Annabeth saves Percy's life. But I still can't enjoy this ship or fanfics with it.

My perception of Percy has changed radically. Even before getting into the books, Percy's character was starting to irk me but I did not fully understand the full extent of this feeling until I read the books. I still like Percy but I am honestly kind of tired of him and I don't enjoy Percy-centric fanfictions the way I used to.

I have compared Percy and Harry but I do realize their stories are different so it's not totally fair to compare them. But I will use Harry to highlight some things about Percy that I don't like after reading a little bit of the books:

Percy is too OP. And not in a satisfying way. I know Percy is a big three kid so he is meant to be more powerful. Nico is pretty powerful too. But Percy does extreme things with little explanation. It would be satisfying if Percy was on a path to godhood or something. But Percy being a common joe after defeating a primordial goddess in her own domain is total garbage. I didn't mind seeing this in fanfiction but actually seeing it in canon is tiring. Harry is powerful too but not to the extent where it feels like Harry is leaving his peers in the dust.

Percy's connection to his antagonists is weak. Harry has a deep connection with Voldy, Draco and Snape to varying degrees. Plus, he has interesting interactions with other death eaters like Lucius and Bellatrix. Percy's connection to Luke and Kronos is weak as hell by comparison. Percy basically has no interaction with the titan army, especially the demigods. Through Harry's POV, we come to understand Voldy's character and motivations, his evolution of how he perceives Draco and Snape, and we understand the dynamics of the death eaters. Kronos is a one dimensional bad guy and the bond between Luke and Percy before the betrayal was not all that deep anyway.

Percy's relationship with minor characters is lacking so the true tragedy of the conflict is lost. Percy does not know a lot of campers. So when they defect or die, the weight of the affair is lost in Percy's POV. The deaths in PJO can't be compared to the deaths in Harry Potter.

I am not a Harry Potter fan, but I am not sure if I prefer Percy as a protag over Harry anymore. I think JKR is a better writer than Rick and her characters are better written, including her minor characters. Plus, the lore is way more fascinating in HP. Rick is just copying mythology and bastardizing it with his OC. I need more time to understand where I stand with Harry and Percy.

[hulloitsdani]

What do u think Kiran is

How do u think the order sees kiran

*slowly sits up in my chair*

I think Kiran is a very normal person. This is someone you and I have met before. Be that from the other side of grocery store cashier, waiting in the same elevator, or walking by on a crosswalk. Kiran is a civilian from our world trying to roll with the punches of being warped somewhere completely alien. And you can see it in how they conduct themselves.

I always have a lot of fun writing Kiran’s dialogue because their casual modern speech almost feels like a dialect in comparison to the more formal fantasy tone everyone else speaks with. An “ain’t” will never exit Alfonse’s mouth, you know? And there’s a difference in “Do you have gold?” vs “You got gold?” To me, this gives Kiran an air of unfamiliarity to anyone they interact with. Let’s use Grima as an example, because it doesn’t sound like this grammatical change would make much of difference until Kiran has the audacity to hit Grima with a bro mid sentence. But that’s just how they talk. And as sweet and friendly as they are, there’s always moments like that to remind that no one has the cultural context to fully understand Kiran. Except for the audience, who can realize that Kiran let the customer service voice drop to talk to Grima like he’s an actual person.

And that’s just about how they talk! This view is only emphasized by every other thing about them! They’re a lovable goof, which is normal chill person behavior in the audience’s eyes but feels REALLY ODD to the characters of FE’s medieval fantasy war setting. There is this air of unknown about them that the more socially perceptive will pick up on and will try to come to a conclusion about. Example, I imagine Soren would interpret a lot of this as a dangerous and deeply annoying lack of intelligence from someone he has the displeasure of sharing a tactics table with. Or looping back to the Grima example, he would totally think Kiran has greedy ulterior motives behind that pleasant facade. It takes a lot of work for those types to realize that the discrepancy present isn’t really any of those things. But I also wouldn’t be too surprised if Kiran doesn’t try to directly prove any of those assumptions wrong unless they have to.

Why? Well now it’s time for the implications! Oh how we love the implications.

Because the Summoner is a different story. No one has any fucking clue what that is.

I can tell you what Kiran has pieced together so far. Summoning people from across time and space is apparently not easy. It’s not some school of magical study that some mage could pull off with enough time and research. Trust, Eitri tried. It’s a lot of complex moving parts. For example, the contracts. The contracts Kiran automatically binds their summoned to don’t even compare to the ones Veronica used in book 1. They are far more intense and infinitely harder to break. The only way out of them is if Kiran wills it so. Not even death is an option, because Kiran can come in for the revive. If they had to guess, it’s an older, more completed version of the art. Something lost to time. But no matter the case, Kiran has the ability to take full control of whoever they manage to summon. From a lowly farmer to the divine. And their power only grows.

In a similar vein, if there was any character to canonically see the hud, I think it would be Kiran. It’s genuinely part of their power set. I have previously described Kiran as the party mage until Veronica shows up to be the actual mage, but it would be way more accurate to call them a mystic/seer. They see the map, everyone’s stats, and is doing a fast amount of math to give the combat forecast. Then, upon processing all this information their enemies couldn’t dream of having at their disposal, Kiran can telepathically communicate any change in plans to anyone under contract. Kiran is not inherently some great tactician the moment they touch ground in Askr; they simply can do things no one else can. They’re learning the actual tactics part on the fly. This makes them simultaneously the largest ace up the Order’s sleeve and potentially its biggest liability. If they fall, it could cause a whole system cascade. By that same token, some of the biggest threats the Order has faced are the ones who do their research and rightfully target Kiran.

Now. Thinking critically about all that. That’s downright terrifying. A ridiculous amount of power has been dropped callously into Kiran’s lap and they have to work extremely hard to be moral with it. It’s terrifyingly easy not to be. It would actively take less effort to ‘take the reins’ as it were. But in order to be able to sleep at night ever again, they go the extra mile to not invalidate the will of their summoned. To take over like that. To make a colony of worker bees out of people. Because oh dear god they just summoned a child and the fact that they could easily force them to fight and die for them, only to be revived and do it all over again, is HAUNTING. No. No the Order has an in house orphanage now. This kid is getting adopted and cared for god damnit or Kiran might just pop a blood vessel. And sure that child is going to be a child and there will never be a world where they get along with everyone else, but that’s just going to need be a problem they address when they get there and not an excuse to use Hubris; the power set. Now replace the word child with everyone they ever summoned and you have the wider philosophy they apply to the entire Order.

They’re hyper aware of the power imbalance. They hate it with every bone in their body. They work really hard to correct it in whatever way they can.

So Kiran might not jump on the opportunity to correct those who think lesser of them. It’s… oddly comforting to know someone is keeping a critical eye on them. Holding them accountable. Especially since so much of the order just thinks of them as this quirky yet well meaning host. And, really, what can they even do about that? They have gone over the contract with every hero they summon and despite that they still choose to stay. So, what, do they try to inspire more mistrust? The problem with that they would have to actually do acts that intentionally inspire mistrust. And even if that was successful they can’t just waste the extra man power because every other month there’s some new divine asshole who wants them all dead. And if they fail that means they have to start their life from square one and god they can’t do that again so—

Just breathe Kiran.

It’s fine. You’re fine. Just breathe.

You have work to do.

[oil-rigging]

Thinking about Helmut and how I feel like his character was influenced by isolation experiments but also how surprisingly well adjusted to those isolation experiments he was.

Maybe I’m still on my Psychic Six (Seven) kick (I totally am) but it’s honestly extremely important to me that Helmut didn’t remember exactly what any of his friends and husband looked like to the point where he mentally replaced their faces with things that he did have knowledge of at the time, which are his senses. Also, his perception of time slowing (or hastening?).

The sensorium only really came about after he’d inhabited the body of Nick Johnsmith from the Mail Room, and had suddenly been thrust into a new body with no preparation for how different the world is from his own little quiet place. I’m sure that between the time Raz first placed his brain in Nick’s body and when he actually formed the sensorium, Helmut figured a couple things out. Yes, the things in his face show him the world, the things on the side of his head give him sound, we see him licking things, etc. He even asserts, before we dive in once again, that he remembers the proper equipment used to dampen those senses; ‘A blindfold? Earplugs?’

I suppose that sort of comes with being a powerful and practiced psychic who has probably broken his mind countless times with the help of his buddies, that he becomes much more aware, much quicker than previous experiments simulating similar circumstances.

Like Michel Siffre, who isolated himself in a cave for, like, 180 days and came out in such a bad state that he was hallucinating, not speaking right, and had developed a permanent squint. His memories and sense of self, also, deteriorated. Sound familiar? The fact that Helmut had such a grasp on his motor functions after 20 years is frankly astounding.

I know it’s fictional but I’m allowed to tie real life findings into analysis of a game I like and no one can stop me. We’re coming back to Siffre in a moment.

It’s impressive to me that Helmut’s memories of his friends, husband, and even himself stayed somewhat intact in some points but not others. Like— he knew Bob liked plants. He gave Bob a hat with a potted plant on it. He knew what clothes his friends tended to wear. He knew Cassie’s hairstyle, and Ford’s. He just forgot their faces (which, historically, tend to be hard to remember), and his mind went; ‘well, these people are as integral to me as my ability to navigate the world around me, so I might as well represent them as one and the same’.

Back to Siffre. His study displayed that, without the ability to keep track of time passing, his body adjusted to a 25-hour cycle rather than a 24-hour one. Siffre said that five minutes felt like two minutes when he counted to 120 seconds, and thought that he had spent one less month underground.

Once again— sound familiar? Time means nothing to a man who was trapped in his own head for 20 years? Wasn’t he certain that he was left alone for a lot longer than he actually was? Maybe this is like Siffre counting to 120. Five minutes feels like two minutes. Longer stints of smaller time feels shorter, shorter stints of larger time feel longer. That last bit wasn’t actually proven or anything, I’m just trying to relate it to the concrete stuff I found.

I also think it’s really cool that the body’s internal clock is typically free running rather than set— between 24 and 25 rather than a strict 24, and some known mutations wherein some humans have a 23-hour cycle. One of the main influences of this is light, which Helmut wasn’t seeing, as he wasn’t seeing anything.

Anyways, sorry if all this is disjointed in any way, I just think it’s really cool that Helmut’s character and abilities might have been influenced by someone’s past studies on Michel Siffre or something like that. I have a quiz today anyway, which is unfortunately not about the body’s internal rhythms or the effects of Michel Siffre’s studies on space exploration and psychological communities, because I am an engineer, not a psychologist, and therefore any time I spend doing things I actually like (i.e. researching for this post) is time I spent not studying. But worry not, dear friends, I enjoy this infinitely more than I enjoy what I’m being quizzed on. Oiler, out!

[jacevelaryonswife]

After Dark | Part One

He wanted your fire to surround him in the crowd and burn him slowly.

pairing: female stripper!reader x modern!osferth | some moments of finan and sihtric.

warnings: smut, p in v sex, tiddy sucking, oral sex (m receiving). English is NOT my first language. 4,1k of words.

after dark masterlist

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A black cape and a crown-like prop was all that could be seen of the woman on stage, making Osferth even more anxious for whatever happened next.

He was a virgin in this, in this kind of environment. Throughout his life the thought of being in a den of carnality was never considered, his religiosity more fervent than most of the people with whom he lived acted as a wall to avoid such a path, however, there was no guilt or shame in his chest at that moment, just a natural embarrassment to be exposed to such a scope. He was a good boy, very polite, humorous, witty and with good social skills, but when it came to going further with girls the scenario was different, scarier, shy and sloppy.

His first time was with a girl in college. She was sweet enough to guide the rhythm, they all guided the rhythm with him — which Osferth found very satisfying. He learned that he liked the lady in control, showing how, when and where he should touch her. In addition, his position was easier than taking control and having to concentrate so as not to end up too fast. He was a shrewd little shit in the end.

But none of that crossed his mind, not when all the lights went out again and an engaging melody echoed through the club making him mortally anxious and excited.

And then, exactly at the same time that the warm orange tone set fire to the stage and a male voice accompanied the instrumental, you were in full display to the audience with a wild posture. The cover that hid your body focused on the floor to reveal the simple black lingerie with props decorating both arms and a large yellow snake wrapped from his neck to his waist. You were absolutely stunning and sensual, especially when your hips began to move at a slow and seductive pace, almost graceful if you were not wanton, totally capturing his attention.

Watching her strolling in the night so white, wondering: Why It's only after dark?

Your eyes closed to sink in the music as you moved your body gently, handling the snake with a frightening naturalness even with the animal curling around your body. What if it suffocated you? Osferth thought dissuaded.

“Aye, mate, she seems to deal with snakes a lot,” Finan whispered without taking his eyes off the image of the woman ahead.

In her eyes, a distant fire lights, burns bright, wondering: Why it's only after dark?

And then when your eyes opened Osferth could swear that your irises were on fire, leaving your aura even more overwhelming than possible. You were not entangled in any poledance, which made your eyes travel along the audience with greater ease and stop in the direction of his. No, don't be stupid, she didn't look at me.

But he wanted it to be true. He wanted your fire to surround him in the crowd and burn him slowly.

Find myself in her room, feel the fever of my doom. Falling falling throught the floor, I'm mocking on the devils door.

And maybe Osferth's perception was right. Maybe you were really contemplating the young lamb ahead as a hungry louse, but that wasn’t an ordinary look, no, he felt almost invaded in his intimate space, as if you knew what he was thinking as you moved as gracefully as petals in contact with the wind. Not even when the other dancers collected the snake from your shoulders did the weight of your gaze soften, no, quite the contrary, your attention was clearly fixed on the central figure in front of the stage as you slowly floated on your bare feet.

Oh God, it couldn't be real.

Were you really coming towards him?"

In the dawn I wake up to find her gone, and a note, says: “Only after dark”.

Yes, you- No, I wasn't.

Moving a few centimeters to where Sihtric was, you went on to face him, dangerously approaching the threshold of the stage to caress him with your foot along his chest, abdomen and very close to his groin. "Can I, handsome?" You asked after stopping your movements and retreating your foot until you gently touched the base of the beer glass in front of it, receiving a positive nod. “Take it for me,” your order was firm and a little smooth. "Open your mouth."

After a few seconds, a feline and satisfied smile adorned your beautiful face when the Dane leaned over to receive the beer falling on a thread in his mouth, having his hair caressed during the process. “Such a good boy,” you praised him by handing him the glass to turn your attention to the young man next door.

Osferth's eyes sparkled when you stopped in front of him and moved your hips as you went down until your faces were level, leaving him redder than a ripe cherry. Your presence made his breathing fail and emitted enough heat to warm him on a harsh winter day, your firm and sweetnessous voice throwing a warm cloud towards him.

“Happy birthday, sweetie.”

"Thank you ma'am," he replied so quickly that he didn't realize the formal term. He's niver seen a woman like you before.

"Not so old yet, dear," you sent him the sexiest smile he ever received, apparently having fun with how disconcerted he seemed.

“He's just shy, sunshine,” Finan said with his accent thicker than usual.

Your attention was divided between the two men, looking at the Irishman while holding Osferth's chin with your warm touch. "Is he? I love shy little things," the savagery shone in your eyes, "especially when they are as handsome and blushing as you." You approached his face until your noses were touching.

His heart beat faster than a deer cornered by hunters and he was sure that if your lips kept shaving against his it would be even more difficult to hide the bulge between his pants. Maybe you had already noticed giving the open smile as you picked up the ballots that were thrown in your direction, getting up and walking to the central poledance. You took the prop off your head and threw it at the audience to the delight of them. Osferth was too static for his reflection to be fast enough to reach the object, luckily Finan was faster than the others and handed him over.

"Keep it."

Burning, burning in the flame, now I know her secret name. You can tear her temple down, but she'll be back and rule again.

Your movements were mesmerizing and precise, lavishing flexibility and sensuality to get him on his knees. When your feet touched the floor, you slowly sent your hands to your back towards the closure of the bra, looking at the audience that began to encourage your next act. He wasn't prepared for that. Especially when you looked at him and shook your head negatively. Several men howled asking to see your body, screaming, begging, making your laugh with malice and a hint of cruelty, denying them again

In my heart, a deep and dark lonely part wants her and waits for after dark.

Osferth realized that he wanted to feel the touch on his skin again, no, he needed to feel it.

After dark

He wanted your savage look only in his direction.

After dark

He wanted the overwhelming aura cornering him again.

After dark

He wanted everything.

God, he was lost.

“That's what I call a fucking show!” Finan's scream burst the bubble of lust that enveloped him, reminding him to breathe again.

Osferth never wanted so much to be subdued by a lady before. But unfortunately he was not the only one with the same thought and worried him even more when thousands of ballots were thrown in his direction.

“She's mine,” said a guy behind him.

"Not fucking. Leave that to me,” Finan said as he got up abruptly from his chair, going somewhere inside the club.

His mind was too stunned to reason what had just happened clearly, but he was warm and excited and it didn't matter if you slept with him just for the money, he wanted to have the damn experience. Fortunately Sihtric kept silent for a long time before asking Osferth what he had found, receiving a simple "It was good" from the blonde.

“I see,” the Dane laughed.

Of course he saw it, which in itself made him want to succumb.

“Where did Finan go?” He asked.

“Probably looking for your birthday present,” he replied bluntly, sending a very significant look.

What?

“What?” The youngest asked with wide eyes. Was he serious?

"Your birthday present," Sihtric repeated again, "You don't have to be nervous, she'll know what to do but I imagine it won't be cheap."

It wasn't a problem (depending on how much you were going to charge).

"What if she doesn't want to?" The question was genuine.

He took a long sip of what was left of his beer. “She is a stripper, wins who pays better and maybe someone pays better than Finan. I'm sorry for that."

Would you reject him? Yes, you could... but he wished so much that he didn't. It was anxious minutes waiting for the Irishman, his hands were sweating when he noticed other men going the same way as his friend went, however, only one of them came back faster than a man having his first time and made Osferth's heart accelerate.

“Come with me, quickly,” Finan almost dragged him from the chair down the same corridor. "They have rooms here, which turns out to be more expensive than the girl going to your house, but she was very clear about not going to cleintes' houses, ya see? Now, don't ask questions and enjoy the evening."

It was a lot to deal with in such a short time, but Osferth shook his head and asked:

“How much was it?"

"Don’t worry about it, she was very generous with ya."

"What do you mean?" His eyes narrowed.

"She's a premium girl and doesn't accept anyone. Logically, someone with our cash condition wouldn't handle it, but she liked ya. I'll still have to pay because of the percentage of the bosses, but it's much less than the whole amount," he explained as fast as he can given the proximity to the room, putting some packages of condoms in his pocket. “Now, go get her tiger. And I'll keep her crown,” he took the prop from the youngest's hands.

Being dropped in front of the door, Osferth took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror hanging on the wall, arranging his hair and clothes before depositing fearful knocks against the door. Sweat accumulated in his hands and he wiping them on the side of his pants, taking a deep breath when his sweet permission filled his ears. The vision that presented you as soon as you entered the dark room with neon lights was of you sitting on the edge of the bed with a suggestive smile.

“Hi, sweet boy. Lock the door and come to me."

He almost cred towards you, stopping a few centimeters ago when you got up and stroked his cheek. "What's your name?"

His voice was flawed and nervous when answering: "It's Osferth, lady."

“Osferth. What a beautiful name,” you hummed. "What do you want me to do it?"

Everything. He wanted everything.

“I...” his neck warmed up when he tried to express what he would like to happen. His gaze fell on his feet in shame, unable to face yours for a long time. "I… I want you."

"Do you want me? How?” Your question was calm, with no intention of scaring you. “Physically? A conversation?”

“Physically.”

“Do you want me to take control, dear?"

Yes, for God's sake, yes.

“Yes, yes. I want it, please,” he begged with puppy eyes and a lovely pout.

A bright and satisfied smile shone in your features as you leaned against his lips.

“Okay sweetie, just relax, I’ll take care of you,” your hand circled the back of his neck while the other held the other side of his neck, starting a slow kiss that made his skin warm up.

His hands were surprisingly fast in wrapping your body and breaking any minimum existing distance, delighting in the radiated heat and the sensual way that your lips moved, your tongue asking for access to experience it calmly, but firmly, causing him a low moan when your fingers pulled some of the delicate threads from the nape of the neck. "Such a beautiful boy. I want to hear more where this sound came from."

Your lips connected again in a moist and sensual web that dissipated part of his apprehension. Osferth didn’t want to have sex with you because of Finan or any factor that could be associated, he wanted you because his desire consumed him with a burning and unknown urgency. He wanted you even more when your bold fingers climbed inside the shirt to throw it somewhere on the floor, caressing the milky skin with the tip of your nails and marking it with wet kisses along the jaw and neck.

Would people know what happened when they saw your claim about him? Finan and Sihtric for sure yes and he couldn't even care about the provocations he would hear.

Osferth returned to reality when your caresses stopped and your body went back to bed. "Take off your clothes for me, honey."

His neck warmed up again and he realized that you liked it a lot when he acted like a helpless sheep. He had a nice body, but it probably wasn't the coolest you've ever seen — he tought, made him even more shy.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of pretty boy, you're really good looking. Come here.”

He was sure from there that you were bewitching him like a succubus ready to devour him body and soul. There was no fear in the way he discarded his shoes and pants and went to meet him with the condom between his fingers.

"Good boy," you purred, pulling him into a demanding kiss as you sat on his lap, grinding in his bulge.

Holy J- you were a fucking provocation. His hands circled your waist and back, unconsciously (or consciously?) Encouraging your lascivious movements that made him grunt softly. “So precious, like a little lamb,” your hands pushed him lying against the mattress, kissing him sensually. Feeling bold and extremely aroused, Osferth requested access to your mouth with his tongue, gently leaning against you and moaning when you gently sucked the tip of his tongue. Your taste was citrus with a pinch of adocity and an alcoholic background, like a tropical drink. Your lips ran through the jaw, neck and velvety torso, leaving a moist trail of lust.

For a moment, when you pulled his underwear down with your teeth, he forgot to breathe properly.

“Has any girl go down on you before?” Your question brought him back to reality for a short time.

"N-no."

"Shame on them," licking your hand, you grabbed the base of his cock and masturbated him slowly. "You have such a beautiful cock." Oh heaven. Your hand was working so well, much better than any time he touched himself. "You want me to use my mouth, my sweet Osferth."

“Yes please, please.”

"Good boy."

Even absorbed, Osferth caught it when you took the condom and wrapped it in the length of it, lowering it with a smile on your face to grab it like a popsicle. He moaned loudly and held your hair instinctively but without pulling. It was almost heavenly to have your mouth taking him in such a provocative and wanton way, so intense that he almost came when you moved the velvety balls.

Your provocation continued by concentrating your tongue on the coated tip that leaked pre cum, involving the bulbous part and sucking while moving the length with your hand. He was sure he went closest to the sky and came back when your warm mouth took him deep and vibrated around him, making him hold your hair more firmly. “Don't. Wait. I'm gonna-“

"You have an hour with me, dear, do you think you can give me more than one?" Your question was tempting, especially with the malice in your beautiful face and the continuous movement of your hand. "I'd love to feel you inside me."

Oh fuck, that immediately sent him to an intense peak and faster than he planned, but so overwhelming and hot that his legs burned. How sinful of him was to associate what you did with something heavenly, when in fact it was a blasphemy to the sacred. His body was red and a little sweaty, strong breathing and terribly satisfied. No other good girl has brought him such euphoria before.

No good girl removed the used condom and pumped it with ypur expenses on the summit of pleasure.

You certainly weren't a good girl.

"Did you like it?" Your question came after a while, lying next to him and gently caressing the contour of his chest.

“A lot. I've never... never been so good."

Your eyes sweetened as you contemplated his figure, receiving a satisfied smile in response.

"You're so sweet." You leaned over to chastely kiss his lips. "Any girl would be lucky to have someone like you."

His cheeks blushed and he looked away in shyness. You were being so nice. Maybe that's why he didn't calculate his next words. "Why are you here?" Oh no, idiot, why would I ask something like that? Your regret was almost instantaneous. "You don't have to answer, I'm sorry, it was an intimate question, I'm sorry."

"No problem, it's not a tragic story or something," you laughed softly. "I needed money and I needed it fast. It's not as terrible as it seems, I usually don't need to fuck with customers to pay the bills and the dance is enough, but little things like you that can't be ignored, so I had to make exceptions. And you, why are you here?"

"I... it was my friend's idea, Finan. A bet actually I lost. I didn't imagine this would happen," he said meekly, heart warming with his revelation. "Don't you usually do that?" He asked. "That," he emphasized.

“No. Most customers are not attractive and I’m a demanding girl," you purred and leaned against his chest, smoothing his beautiful angular face. "And you're handsome."

"You’re very beautiful too," he smoothed your back and gave a chaste kiss on your forehead, which made you chuckle on his skin.

And then, against his will, you walked away and knelt on the bed, removing your bra to reveal your beautiful tits and massage them dramatically.

“Mm, I'd love to have your big hands on me. Do you want to touch me?"

Fuckin hell.

He almost jumped on the mattress to reach you, covering your soft breasts completely with both hands, squeezing, playing, experimenting, enjoying...

“You're so gorgeous,” he was practically drooling over your appearance. “Damn it.”

“Mmm,” you smoothed the soft and milky chest in front of you, delighting in the touch that was replaced by his mouth after begging you (unnecessarily) from the puppy's eyes to smear your skin.

Osferth delighted in her soft breasts, sucking and licking the halo with desire, vigor and tenderness, nibbling on the protruding and newly hardened beak, which made your eyes close with pleasure. You bit your lower lip and straightened his hair, letting him take his time in the insatiable desire for you. From the smeared breasts he climbed to capture your lips with fire and lust, exploring your mouth with vigor, sucking your tongue as he has never done with any girl before. He kissed your jaw, your neck and your stomach when you lay on the bed, stopping at the panty line.

“Can I take it off?” He asked quietly.

“Of course you can.”

If he wasn’t hard as stone before, your wet intimacy certainly did.

“Do you know where women like to be touched?” You asked sweetly.

“Yes.” He pressed his thumb on your pearl, “here, isn’t it?”

“Mmm, yes, but it’s not like that,” you held his finger and created circular movements with the ideal pressure on your clit, “it’s like that.”

Your hand went to his hardened cock, making him moan. “Such a beautiful cock,” you licked your lips, “get another condom.” And he was very quick to follow your order, giving a tasty view of his cute white ass.

A small strip of shyness enveloped him by placing the condom on his axis in front of you, but he cled back and hovered above your body.

“Do you want to take control?” You asked.

“No. I don’t want to,” he held your back and ass between the bed and turned your body over his, being caged by your thighs and arms.

“Good. I’ll treat you very well, good boy.”

He didn’t gasp so hard when your hands held him in relation to the first time, but when you sank into him slowly... oh boy, all the air in your lungs is gone. He was sure he had reached the apex of pleasure.

Eyes closed, mouth between open and red skin, a true vision for you.

“Let me take a time,” your voice was soft as you went down totally, moaning in unison. “Damn, you’re a big boy. I love that.”

Damn it. The slow pace of the warm hug made him whimper in drunkenness, holding your hips tightly and raising his legs, which tilted your body forward. Leaning your hands against his chest you started to assemble it properly, moaning well and enjoying the moment.

On the other hand, he, the lad was vocal and quite interactive by the way his hips hit a few times against your own, wanting more, needing more.

“Do you want more?”

“Yes,” he said between one moan and another, blond hair sticking to his forehead by sweat.

“Okay,” you bit your lower lip, riding it stronger and faster, sending it to a cloud of lust that consumed you with every movement.

The whole situation contributed to the overwhelming pleasure that consumed his body. Be it the snap between the hips that filled the room, or the delicious sounds you made and especially the wet grip of your femininity against him.

“Move your hips too dear, give me that, I know you want it.”

And he wanted it, oh how he wanted it.

Osferth accepted your request and standardized your movements, hitting harder against your pussy (still very kind) that he had already used on a girl before, muttering a bad word the heat of the moment as he did a few times in his life. But fuck it, fuck it, he needed it.

You jumped uninhibitedly and maliciously in search of the apex, moaning his name as his grip began to increase, his cock brushing in all the right places at a delicious rhythm that was almost blowing his mind. Your wet pussy was soozing the inside of your thighs and the base of his cock, increasing the wet and profane sounds.

“You’re so fucking big, I feel so full. I’m going to cum so well on your cock,” your dirty talk almost made you come with tense hips, moaning loudly, which you noticed immediately, touching your clit while the tension in your core increased from the constant friction. “Hed a little longer, dear, I’m close.”

The weight on his balls was too much, he felt that he would really explode when he came, concentrating as much as he can for it to happen after you.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. That was so hard.

“Osferth, oh honey,” you squeezed him violently and his movements faltered when a hot and white wave crashed into your body and dragged you to the apex of pleasure. “Fuck.”

Fuck.

His hips crashed into yours for the last time right after your orgasm, filling the condom when cumming good and strong. It was totally heavenly.

He was floating in a cloud that erased all his thoughts except that moment.

You got up carefully and fell against his chest, lying next to him with a satisfied smile. “Did you like it, dear?”

He was panting and with a silly and wide smile, hugging you gently. “So much... so damn much.”

“Good. Get some rest, I want to make good use of the time we still have.”

═════════════════════

note: Sorry for the delay in publishing the chapter, the last few weeks have been terrible and stressful because of the finals.

— taglist: @gemini-mama @lexwolfhale @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @tssf-imagines @bel-bottoms

[rainbowsky]

Hi- first have to say I love your writing, your organization, you’re just amazing! I’m a middle-age mom of four who has never, ever been in any sort of fandom or “shipped” a couple in 40+ years of consuming tv, movies, music, etc. Got introduced to TU via my teen daughter and very quickly was bjyx before I knew it was a thing, before I even saw any BTS. Googled the actors, saw some BTS, and just thought “of course.” I mean, of course! (TBC)

(Cont) I’ve read just about everything here but if you’ve answered this, pls point me to it. My question is, how do the “antis” or “solos” reconcile the BTS with their POV that DD and GG aren’t gay, hate each other, are using the other, etc? [redacted]

Hi! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog. 😊

Sorry, I removed some of your ask because I don't like long asks, and you (perhaps unwittingly) included some theories/ideas I don't agree with and don't want on my blog.

As for your question, I have talked about similar topics quite a bit in the past. You can look through my 'solos belong to moling su sect' tag for my posts about solos if you want to dig a little deeper, but I personally don't think there's any point in going down that path. Solos are free to believe (or not believe) whatever they want, and it shouldn't really have anything to do with us.

This question is inviting me to psychoanalyze, theorize, and speculate about what they think and believe, but in my opinion there's nothing good that can can come out of doing so. I have done some of that in the past, and in my opinion it's totally pointless. If anything, it just helps create the perception that we should be digging into topics like this - something I definitely do not believe.

I have talked to solos about these topics in the past, and the thing that stood out to me about those discussions is that they're just different people who have different views. Might as well ask why anyone has a different view about anything.

If you've ever tried talking to someone who is opposite to you on the political spectrum, surely you've experienced how different and unwavering another person's views can be. Trying to unravel all of that can be a huge mess, and is ultimately just a waste of time.

The reality is, different people have different levels of investment in the type of material we focus on, they have different interests and motivations for being involved in fandom, they have different backgrounds and leanings, and they have different views and interpretations of everything they see. Even different turtles have different views and interpretations.

We don't need to spend a moment thinking about any of it. In fact I urge people to just avoid solos, avoid trying to speculate about them or digging into their perspectives or beliefs. It doesn't matter what they think, and most of their thoughts and feelings about this topic are hateful and homophobic. It is harmful to dig into and spread these ideas.

I have a whole post about that here.

I say this all the time, but we need to stay in our own lane. Focus on GG and DD and their projects. Enjoy being a turtle. We shouldn't waste our time or brain cells worrying about what haters and naysayers think, or why.

This isn't just about avoiding negativity or fan wars, is also about respecting other human beings. They have their own views and their own experience of GG and DD, and they have every right to experience it in the way they want to. It's not our role to try to change their perspective or even to evaluate and judge them. Live and let live. Yes, even when they don't extend us the same courtesy. Perhaps especially then. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

"Why don't people believe BJYXSZD?" should never be asked in a way that implies that anyone who doesn't is stupid or blind. And I'm saying that as someone who's guilty of doing that all the time. No one is obligated to dig into the evidence, and no one is obligated to believe.

There are a LOT of turtles who don't believe, either, and they're still turtles and they still love and support GGDD and still bring a lot of great value to this fandom. If we can accept them, surely we can come to terms with the fact that solos don't believe, either.

PS] Just one thing I wanted to reply to that didn't get posted from your ask - there is definitely no world in which solos believe that they were once a couple and broke up. There may be a rare person out there who fits that description, but the vast majority of solos don't believe that their idol is gay or has had any kind of a romantic relationship with the other one. A huge percentage of them are extremely homophobic or at least heteronomative.

[lines-in-limbo]

Lily is absolutely flirting in Snape’s Worst Memory - but I think this is one scene that has dated the series and is easily overlooked if the reader is not a Brit of a certain age. Lily and James are bantering in that scene in the way that Beatrice and Benedick do in Much Ado About Nothing or the way that Elizabeth and Darcy have crazy sexual tension while she’s telling him that she hates him and that he’s the last person on earth she’d ever marry.

People don’t see it now because James’ approach has so many red flags that are widely acknowledged as red flags in 2024 that they see Lily’s responses as genuine disgust and dislike, instead of her getting drawn into his game because she’s interested. But it was obvious in 2003 what JKR was going for here. The implication is that Snape lashes out at her *because* he sees her half smile and her flirtatiousness in this moment, and properly realises for the first time that his ‘best friend’ is totally into the guy tormenting him in front of half the school.

None of this is to say that Lily wasn’t a) completely right to terminate the friendship and b) wasn’t overall a very decent person. But she’s supposed to be a pretty shit friend here - put any one of the trio in Lily’s shoes and imagine their response to the same situation and it becomes clear that her half assed, rather impersonal defence was indeed intended to be half assed. Now of course this is directed by JKR needing to keep the connection between Snape and Lily secret until the very end, but she makes this work retrospectively from a characterisation perspective in the Prince’s Tale by depicting a Snape who is difficult to be friends with and who doesn’t recognise what true friendship *should* be because he’s never had it, and a humanised (not a saint) Lily who’s been quietly realigning herself away from her difficult friend for a very long time without making it crystal clear to him what she’s doing. It doesn’t make her bad, it makes her a very normal 15 year old pretty, popular girl with all the positive traits that entails (confidence, vivaciousness, fearlessness) as well as the negative (thoughtlessness, a lack of empathy towards those less socially adept).

Thank you for your message, anon. 

I understand where you’re coming from, and while some people interpret the scene as flirting or as "laying the groundwork for their eventual romance," especially when viewed through the lens of classical literature and 'enemies to lovers' tropes, I see it differently. For me, attraction doesn’t automatically equal flirting. I do recognize subtle cues in Lily’s behavior that suggest she might be physically attracted to James, and yes, there’s some tension, but I wouldn’t categorize that as flirting. To me, flirting is intentional—a deliberate way to say, "Hey, I’m interested in you; let’s date.” That’s not what’s happening here. While Lily may have had some attraction to James, her intention certainly wasn’t to express that to him, particularly because his bullying and arrogance were significant turn-offs. This is consistent with the fact that she only began dating James in their seventh year when he supposedly "deflated" his ego and stopped bullying others. She valued the growth she saw in him, which made him someone she could consider dating at that point. (Whether he genuinely matured is another discussion, but I won’t delve into that here.)

I don’t deny that Lily’s conflicting feelings toward James might have influenced her defense of Snape to some extent, but to call her defense completely “half-assed" because she was supposedly “flirting” with James seems like a stretch. (Honestly, I’m considering posting the whole scene because it feels like people may have forgotten what actually happened or have only skimmed it.)

From an external perspective, Lily’s defense might appear somewhat weak or insufficient, especially given the severity of the situation. However, it's crucial to understand that this perception does not fully capture the complexity of Lily’s internal experience. Lily’s primary goal was to stop the bullying by publicly insulting and embarrassing James. She’s clearly trying to de-escalate the situation by first shouting at them, and when that doesn’t work, she takes out her wand, ready to escalate things if necessary. While it may not have been the most forceful defense, it was still a defense, and it clearly demonstrated her disapproval of their behavior. Initially, it even seemed effective, as James did perform the countercurse to the full body-bind curse. However, after Snape called Lily a Mudblood, she left, and James and Sirius resumed bullying him.

From an internal perspective, in my view, the primary factor influencing Lily’s defense was the state of her deteriorating friendship with Snape. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts and reblogs, their friendship was strained, and she likely had conflicting feelings about him. As you pointed out, she was gradually distancing herself from him due to his behavior. After years of standing by Snape, excusing his actions, and pretending everything was fine, Lily likely felt frustrated and betrayed. She was torn between her past loyalty to him and her current disapproval, making it challenging for her to respond more forcefully. While I do wish she’d done more (and she certainly could have), her feelings are understandable given everything that had transpired between them.

Regarding the notion that Snape noticed any "flirting," I respectfully disagree. Snape didn’t lash out at Lily because he saw her "flirting" with James or noticed any subtle expression. His focus was on defending himself from Sirius and James. Additionally, he wouldn’t have seen her expression since his robes were hanging over his head while he was suspended upside down:

"James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants."

The more likely reason for his outburst was that he felt humiliated and emasculated by James, especially when James said, "Lucky Evans was here Snivellus —,” as he let Snape down. That likely exacerbated Snape’s embarrassment, leading him to lash out with, "I don’t need help from a filthy little Mudblood like her." It seems like he was trying to regain some dignity, and the slur slipped out in a moment of anger and shame.

All in all, you’re right—Lily isn’t a saint; no one is. And while I’m not eager to compliment JKR the TERF, I do think she did a good job of humanizing her characters. Lily isn’t as fleshed out compared to other minor characters like James, and I do wish we’d seen more of her flaws. That said, her response to the situation, while somewhat imperfect, reflects the complexities of her character, which makes her more relatable and human.

While we may not completely agree, I appreciate your interpretation and opinion, anon. Thank you for sharing your perspective. 💫

*As a side note, I want to clarify that I’m not trying to excuse Lily for not defending Snape more effectively; I’m simply trying to view the situation from her perspective, as I do with other characters when analyzing them. Additionally, I want to emphasize that I’m not hating on Snape. Some people have taken my posts and reblogs about Lily as an excuse to criticize Snape, but that’s not my intention at all. I clearly identify as a "Snape defender" in my bio. Just because I’m exploring Lily’s perspective in SWM doesn’t mean I don’t also understand Snape’s situation. I have other posts dedicated to him on my blog.

[livwritesstuff]

heyo! loving the steddie dads. was wondering if either of them suffer from nightmares or ptsd after everything they've been through? and how they might deal with that on a day-to-day/anniversary basis.

Hi friend -- took some time on this one because this is a Topic for me.

Short answer – yes, 100%. I don’t think any person on the planet could experience that kind of thing and not come out of it with some serious issues to work through. 

Longer answer, and not to abuse my psych degree, but it’s really tough to say how they would be affected 10, 20, 30, etc. years down the line because PTSD and trauma are both so unbelievably complex – for many reasons, but in part because PTSD can do two things (sort of) simultaneously.

Wane over time

Completely and permanently alter the “wires” (neural pathways) in your brain

I think that there’s sometimes this perception in the ST fandom that every character in the show who experienced a trauma would have PTSD by default, but that might not necessarily be true. Stats actually show that the majority of people who experience trauma in some capacity will in fact not display PTSD symptoms. I think Mike and Dustin at the onset of season 2 are a fantastic example of how two people can go through the same events together and come out of it affected very differently.

(Sidebar: I think Stranger Things has a fantastic opportunity to show how varied the effects of trauma can be. Granted, I don’t think that’s the story they’re telling, but they totally could.)

Experiencing a traumatic event is not necessarily a one-way ticket to PTSD symptoms and/or a PTSD diagnosis – to be clear, this doesn’t mean that there are not lasting negative effects from that traumatic event, but it is still distinctly different from PTSD (in its official definition) – and right now it’s not clear why this is the case. 

I have individual thoughts about each character as it relates to what they specifically experience and how I think they would be affected by it long and short-term, HOWEVER I also recognize that I haven’t answered your actual question, so I digress.

Rather than dive into whether or not I think Steve and/or Eddie have PTSD, we’re just gonna call it capital-T Trauma and move along. You’re welcome.

Anyways, by the time Steve and Eddie (as they exist in this ‘verse) are in their fifties, I doubt that any residual effects of their Trauma would still be anywhere near debilitating. Generally speaking, they can go about their day-to-day lives without thinking about what they went through all that much.

I do think that those effects may temporarily worsen around anniversaries, but even that really isn’t all that noticeable by the time they hit the 2020s.

They’ll still occasionally have nightmares and I don’t think Steve ever fully lets himself believe that it’s truly done in a way that Eddie doesn’t relate to because he never had to experience what it’s like for it all to come back.

(Small potatoes, but I also don’t think Steve could ever own a dog no matter how much his daughters campaigned for a puppy when they were in elementary school).

I think the Trauma that Steve experienced shows itself in his adulthood when it comes down to raising kids. 

I’ve talked before about how Steve has a moment when Moe turns ten where it kind of clicks for the first time just how young Erica had been when he allowed her to get caught up in everything. He hadn’t been able to see it until he was a fully-fledged adult raising a ten-year-old, but he gets really hung up on it, and then he spends the next few years being like – Moe’s eleven, that’s how old Eleven was when she broke out of the lab; she’s twelve, that’s how old Will was when he got stuck in the Upside Down; she’s thirteen, that’s how old Dustin was when he almost got eaten by demobats in those tunnels. 

Then the girls start hitting their high school years and Steve starts realizing – oh, it wasn’t just the younger ones. I was also a kid still and put in a really fucked up position. It’s the thing that makes him truly see how few adults he had in his corner.

Eddie has a similar moment when Moe graduates high school and he realizes that his oldest daughter is as old as Chrissy ever got to be.

That being said I also don’t think Eddie gets as torn up over Chrissy as the popular opinion suggests but i’m a little afraid to voice that one lol

I definitely think Eddie and Steve never let themselves forget how Max, Chrissy, Patrick, etc. were vulnerable to Vecna’s curse because of a very specific circumstance – they were grappling with something internally that they didn’t feel they had the resources or people they trusted enough to address outwardly. Sure, they know that their kids aren’t at risk of being possessed and murdered by an evil monster, but the notion of bad things happening when people don’t have the support that they need is a very real phenomenon with very real consequences. By no means was that exclusive to Hawkins and it certainly didn’t go away with the Upside Down. 

I think that this becomes the crux of Steve and Eddie’s mentality behind parenthood – to make sure that their kids never feel like they can’t go to their dads for support, to never allow their children to be in a position where they have to suffer in silence. That, to me, is absolutely rooted in the parts of their Trauma that re-wired their brains irreparably.

Anyhooooo this is really just the tip of the iceberg imo but this is long enough already lol (but if anyone wants to hear more about the Stranger Things-Trauma paradigm, let me know because I could probably talk about it for hours).

[grison-in-space]

Reading Men Who Hate Women (Laura Bates, 2020) at the moment. She's talking about the manosphere: the massive online communities of men who congregate to talk misogyny, ranging from PUAs to MRAs, incels and MGTOW. These aren't new topics to me—I've been following this off and on since watching Gamergate kick off—but Bates handles them well and I think this book could serve as an introduction if this is a movement with which you're not familar. By the way, it's been a decade since Gamergate this year. Isn't that a kicker?

(Incidentally, I first ran into the concept of incels way before I think many people did: when I was still on AVEN, c. 2006-2007ish, I remember a few occasions where users ran into incel communities and brought them to our forums to ask: is this like what we're doing? Is this like us? Consensus quickly solidified on the direction of "no," each time, not least because asexuality dialog at the time was extremely clear about divorcing desire from action, and it was very clear that the desires centered in that community were very different than the ones people in asexuality spaces were untangling.)

Bates handles the topic with grace, compassion, and a deep understanding that I really wish more writing on radicalization or terroristic networks used: people in real pain, who are struggling in pitiable circumstances to do their best and clearly need more support, can also in their pain be truly dangerous to others. Hurt people hurt people. Compassion for pain suffered is important—you can't understand recruitment without understanding that—but you also have to understand that pain, fermented in darkness, can create deadly poisons. Pain isn't essentially holy or cleansing or cauterizing. It doesn't accomplish anything good by existing. If we can relieve it, we should—but we should follow harm reduction principles as we do so, lest pain be allowed to multiply and fester.

What gets me is that in 2017, in the wake of the Google bro "manifesto," I spent a feverish week writing what wound up being a 20,000 word rebuttal studded with what eventually totaled 100+ peer reviewed citations. It got quite a bit of reach and covered ground ranging from effects of testosterone on behavior, the concept of effect size in sex differences, basic statistics, the ways that humans treat people differently based on their perception of gender, intersex trauma, and whether feminists care about men's problems (yeah, actually, and they should).

I released that piece, changed up my name and fannish presence—my long time pseud was tangled all over the piece's genesis—and hunkered down for the reprisals. I expected harassment and vitriol. It never really came: I ignored the comments on the post, after a bit, and I held boundaries on what I was willing to pay attention to. But by and large, I had no direct consequences from the Manosphere.

Perhaps the piece was too long (although I got many comments from people who read it and found it useful, and I included an index). Perhaps it was simply that I included a headshot of myself, with uncharacteristic red lipstick and characteristically buzzed hair, and cheerfully discussed throughout that I was butch and queer: sometimes I confuse people who are very focused on bioessentialist sex differences, because I don't fit their paradigms in the slightest.

About six months later, James Damore attempted to frame his incredibly poor decisions in light of his Asperger's, and I did get a couple dudes on social media presenting me with this information apparently in the hope that it would shock or embarrass me. I immediately pointed out, acerbically, that I'm equally autistic and that he was making us look bad, and they melted away again into the background. It wasn't really the well of terrifying anger and obliterative fury I was expecting.

I find myself reading these stories in Bates' book and thinking about the internet I grew up on: AVEN by 2005, WrongPlanet the same year, listening to people on the margins talk about their fears and hopes and dreams and theories about themselves. I find myself thinking about narratives and meaning, the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and why.

I'm certainly not the first person to worry about radicalization of young autistic people, especially autistic men. Not even close. Paradoxically, it's a group of people for whom an understanding of intersectionality is crucial: young disabled men often alienated deliberately from conceptualizing themselves as disabled, without the tools to understand why life is hard and painful and never seems to reflect their experiences, trying to construct understanding beyond one's singular, isolated defective wrongness—which is what's left, if you take community off the table.

(Have I mentioned how grateful I am that so many autistics are trans spectrum? Imagine if we weren't, and if I didn't have so many transfeminine sisters funneled along those same currents and drifting closely enough alongside to understand. My sisters, so many of whom are out there living and modeling better ways to understand and participate in gender as a social activity: by figuring out what is most comfortable for you, understanding that comfort for one might be agony for another, and taking steps to shape your own life into a fashion that wells forth the most peace and joy. It's a message we all need to hear, but that is a group of people I hear singing so loudly from my place in a different wing of the choir, and I love them for it.)

I don't have answers. As is, so often, the case these days, I have only grief and love, and the determination to build better structures where my own hands reach. I had intended to direct my career, once, to undermining the entire concept of "good genes" models of evolution and explaining how their convoluted connections to natural phenomena are better explained by other, more direct motives. Since 2020, I've been moving in a new direction—but what precisely it is, I'm not sure.

Sex differences is certainly a piece of it, though. Even if I find myself often enough writing that it's not enough to know a sex difference in one species to assume that another will reflect a similar relationship: we should study sex differences in animals, but we really shouldn't assume that humans will have the same ones or work the same way. I suspect this won't be the first time I tangle with that community. I suppose it depends how much authority I can accrue as protection first.