#same moment but totally different perceptions

[cobra-creampuff]

why are they laughing at him as he gets straight up killed??? he doesn't deserve this! he's a sweet kid at heart! he literally just needs one (1) real friend!!

[shiftinglea]

Death doesn’t exist.

Interestingly, in order for me to accept that I was the creator of my life, I had to learn more about death. It was a missing puzzle piece that allowed me to remember that I am God and can manifest whatever I desire.

But before that, I was quite doubtful about my ability to create. I would persist and believe (or try to anyway), but underneath all that, I had this encompassing fear of failure. Fear that by the end of my life, I would still not have succeeded with my manifestations. Fear of dying in regret and disappointment for not experiencing the life I desire.

And I thank my soul for guiding me to the book ��Home with God” by Neal Donald Walsch, which allowed me to remember that there is no death. This book is a dialogue between the author and The God (aka the source of everything). When I was reading that book, it didn’t feel like I was learning something new. It felt like remembering something I already knew.

And in this post, I’ll be sharing information about death from that dialogue. Obviously, it’s your choice to believe it. But I would recommend you not listen to your mind. Listen to your soul; it speaks to you through your feelings. Intuition. Allow yourself to FEEL the information I’m sharing. Do not use logic for that; it’s quite limiting. So here we go:

Learning about death allowed me to stop fearing dying in regret and disappointment, which then produced confidence in my manifesting abilities and feeling at total peace every single day. There is nothing to be afraid of. Why? Because death doesn’t exist, and this is what I mean by that:

When people speak of death, they mean the end of life. But your life never ends. It’s the physical body that dies, and then at that moment, you discover that you are still alive. You keep on existing just in a different form. Death is simply an experience of leaving 3D and entering another dimension. And what’s the most fascinating thing: it’s different for everyone, or the experience of it is more like. Same with your life in physical form: it’s different for everyone depending on your beliefs, perception, and assumptions. You choose the experience of your life (consciously or unconsciously). The same with death: you choose your own experience of it. But what’s the same for everyone is that “death” has 3 stages.

The first stage is the same for everyone. “In stage one, at the moment of your death, you will instantly experience that life has gone on. This will be the same for everyone. There could be a brief period of disorientation, as you come to realize that you are not with your body, but, instead, are now separate from it.” During this stage, you realize even though your body died, your life hasn’t ended. For most people, it will be the first time they realize that they aren’t their bodies. The body is something you have. It’s not what you are. And then you move into the next stage.

The second stage is where everyone’s experience is unique depending on their beliefs about what happens after death:

• If you believe in reincarnation, for instance, you may experience moments from previous lives of which you have no previous conscious memory.

• If you believe that you will be enfolded in the embracing arms of an unconditionally loving God, that will be your experience.

• If you believe in a Day of Judgment or a Time of Reckoning, followed by paradise or damnation for all eternity, you will experience being judged and the judgment will turn out exactly as you imagined it would.

• If you died thinking that you deserve heaven, you will immediately experience that, and if you think that you deserve hell, you will immediately experience that. Heaven will be exactly as you imagined it would be, as will hell. If you have no idea about the specifics of either, you will make them up right on the spot. Then, these places will be created for you that way, instantly. You may remain in these experiences as long as you wish.

What’s important to know is that there is no Hell. But you can create hell for yourself if you choose to or believe that’s what you deserve.

However, you won’t stay there for one moment longer than you choose to. The moment you decide that you are done experiencing it, it’s finished. The same with Heaven.

Everyone remembers in the 2nd stage that they create their reality: in the physical and spiritual. In the physical realm, our creations may be delayed. But in the spiritual realm, our manifestations are instant. So you can experience whatever you desire for however long you wish. You can relive your life again or create a new one and enjoy that life for however long you want, and it will feel as real as in 3D. So during the 2nd stage, souls remember that they create their experiences and it’s instant. When they are done experiencing their creations, they move to the 3rd stage.

During the 3rd stage, you experience Ultimate Reality, which is merging with the Essence (God/Creator of all). You are enveloped with the infinite source of love and peace. You become one with The Creator. This is where you came from. It’s pure void. You are a pure being.

Every aspect of itself, every “good” and “bad” trait the soul thought it had is being absorbed by the Creator. It melts all shame, pride, fears, every character trait and leaves the soul with a beautiful emptiness. Experiencing nothing but Oneness. “Now you are merged with this Light and you feel dissolved. This “melting” completes the change in your identity. You no longer identify yourself in any way or at any level with the separate aspect of being that you called “you” in your physical life.”

The most fascinating thing is that you can experience the merging with everything during your physical life. This is what the void is for. When you reach the void state, you merge with Oneness where creation is instant.

During the 3rd stage of death, you can stay merged with the Creator for as long as you desire. But you won’t stay there forever because that’s it’s not what you desire. Because if you stay forever in this pure bliss and ecstasy, you would stop identifying it as “bliss” and “ecstasy”. Because there is nothing else there. There is no opposite of that. So you will desire to recreate yourself anew and choose your next physical incarnation because that’s the only way for you to experience your own magnificence.

The purpose of death is to reestablish your identity and to help you remember who you really are: One with God, an infinite source of creation. The purpose of physical life is to experience this knowing.

I want to point out the importance of your system of beliefs because they shape your life and your death (during the 2nd stage). You are constantly creating your reality. In physical life and after that. Some people think different rules apply in death (or in life). But no, it’s the same rules, the only difference is that your creations are instant after death. But again, they can be instant in your physical realm if you choose to believe that you can create instantly. It’s all about your beliefs and assumptions.

For most people who aren’t into LOA and don’t know that that’s are creators of their reality, their “death” will be the moment of remembrance that they are indeed creators. That they never stopped creating and they will see it clearly. But they don’t have to wait until death to experience themselves as God and creators. You can do it in physical life. It’s always your choice. You shape your life in physical and your life in spiritual.

For me, knowing more about death allowed me to stop feeling anxious about whether I’ll manifest my dream life before I die. The fact is that I never die, I just change my form. Life is eternal. It’s the body that dies. But you are not your body. It’s something you have. It helps you to experience wonderful things that you have chosen to experience.

[seventeendeer]

this isn't at all meant to be condescending or finger-waggy because 100% we all have blind spots like this, but I'm really, really hoping that the people who never found Gaiman's approach to his own fandom concerning in any way will take this all as a learning moment.

he was an older, hyper-famous author engaging directly and frequently with an online audience of largely vulnerable young marginalized people. he presented himself as cultured and worldly, and made himself approachable as someone to go to for advice, encouragement and "wisdom." his manner of speech was extremely pathos-heavy and clearly intended to be comforting and encouraging in exactly the way his target demographic needed it to be to swallow every word. the way he spoke about stories and creativity was designed to make young creative hopefuls feel special and important, while sweeping real analytical techniques under the rug - in hindsight, likely so no one would think too critically about the disturbing amount of patriarchal abuse played for cheap shock value and voyerism in his own body of works.

Gaiman saw a target demographic that was desperate for an older creative role model to tell them they were worth something, and he exploited that pain to twist a narrative around himself where he was king and any critique leveled at him or his works were the enemy.

to be clear, he could have been innocent. he could totally have been just an out-of-touch old man saying nice things to people because he wanted to be kind and he thought he was a lot smarter than he really was. red flags are warning signs, not a surefire way to tell if someone is actually "secretly shitty."

but if you used to look up to him, PLEASE take this moment to revisit the ideas you absorbed from him. did you take his words to heart because they seemed to have objective merit? or did you take them to heart because it felt good to believe what he said? do you still hold these values? does knowing he was intentionally manipulating his online audience make you less certain? do you need more information from a different source before deciding one way or another?

again, I'm just really, really hoping people on here will take a moment to reevaluate the ideas and opinions he's injected into tumblr fandom culture, because his reach is immense and he has absolutely been manipulating popular perception of relevant topics to gain further influence and control the narrative around both his own and Pratchett's legacy. please, please take this moment to notice what he's been doing - and next time someone tries to pull the same shit, hopefully we'll be able to apply what we've learned from experience.

[upsidedownmvnson]

dungeons and douchebags | eddie munson

where eddie munson kills your dnd character out of spite & you end up in the hospital in the same day. eddie, of course, blames only himself.

full fic of this blurb :)

AN: i named the third guy keith bc he needed a name, and if his role was pre-established im SORRY but hes a mage. a lot of the dnd stuff im sure is wrong and doesnt work but let me live

also i love this so u should to

also also I KNOW ITS A SHITTY THING FOR A DM TO DO - thats the point

Eddie’s annoyed with you when you’re not on time for Hellfire.

You know he’s sensitive about starting on time, but still you were running late again, even though this time you promised it would be different, and you would even be early.

And Eddie had foolishly believed you again. It hurt especially, because even though you were just friends, Eddie was so painfully in love with you. All day every day, he was pining, yearning, longing. You were on his mind all the time, and you... you couldn't even bother to be on time for Hellfire.

When he begged you to be on time earlier in the day, he had made sure to mention that it would mean a lot to him if you were on time. And he thinks that if you love him back, you'll definitely care when he communicates something like that.

He knows he shouldn't let himself feel like this, but every Friday he's reminded that he's not special to you. He's not the one person you're always on time for. Eddie thinks, somehow, that if you're on time for Hellfire, well then maybe you like him too. It's silly, but it's what he does. It gets more painful as time goes on and you're still not there.

The mood slowly shifts to something tense as time ticks on. You’re always a couple minutes late but nearly an hour? Eddie is painfully frustrated, and his feelings are hurt. Eddie has overthught himself to a dramatic conclusion that you've decided you're above Hellfire.

While the party chats on totally unaware, barely even recognizing that they still haven't started, Eddie thinks you've looked in the mirror and recognized that you're better than them. That you can, and should, have everything and everyone you want. He thinks you'll want to be with a jock. Or maybe a cheerleader. He thinks you've decided not to love him.

In a fit of self pity and rage, he decides to leave your character behind, so the party left you alone, sleeping in a cave.

"Attention," Eddie says, "the sun is rising. It's time to pack your bags and move on."

Dustin looks confused, "where's y/n?"

"Who knows?" Eddie tries to look unamused to hide his pain, but it slips, and ends up just looking angry.

Eddie rolls a perception check for you to see if you wake up. He rolls an 18. And with your build you would've noticed the group leaving without you. Eddie is still think about you in the arms of a jock. "She fails." Eddie looks at the group with an evil grin. "You leave the camp unnoticed."

As the game goes on, Eddie feels crappy. He's never cheated like that before. Like, sure, he's changed a roll or two to make the plot better, or to not totally kill one of his players because some random NPC got a nat 20. That was his right as DM. But... leaving you like that was less than cool.

But even worse, when they return to the cave later, you're stuck in a bandit situation. Eddie really, truly, genuinely expected the party to save you. Except, one thing led to another, and you were stabbed through stomach, making you bleed out. Normally, this is where you'd roll your life saving throws.

It wasn't really supposed to play out like that. But he didn't expect the party to roll such terrible throws, all of them accidently leaving you defenseless. Eddie kinda feels bad, but you hurt him first.

What he doesn't expect is Steve Harrington bursting into the drama room, looking frenzied, just a few moments later. The party halts. The last thing happening in the game was the party finishing off the last bandit, and running to your aid. But now, they were all just staring at Steve. Eddie approached his friend, worried about the look in Steve’s eyes.

Steve stood up straight, and cleared his throat. Weakly he says, “something terrible happened.”

And then Steve tells them all about your car accident, and Eddie feels sick. His knees buckle, and Steve has to hold him up. He’s totally disoriented by this news. He feels his heartbeat pounding behind his eyes, and his ears ring loudly, barely registering the panicked talking going on around him

“They're alive,” Steve was shouting, but because people weren’t letting him talk, he had to keep shouting it over the hundred questions. They wouldn't be able to handle it. Not again. Not when Max still hasn't woken up. “Eddie? Can you hear me buddy?”

But Eddie was in shock. He was blaming himself. He killed you.

“Can you walk? I'll drive you,” Steve says, as Gareth searches Eddie's pockets for the keys to the van. “Dustin, get over here, help me get Eddie to the car.” Eddie overhears Jeff tell everyone to meet at the van.

As soon as they get moving, the adrenaline starts pumping through Eddie’s body. He was suddenly able to break free of his friends' aid and pick up his pace, and the three of them ran through the school and into the parking lot. The dim light Steve parked by was flickering, putting a weak spotlight on Eddie as he tugged the door handle on the passenger seat

“Let me unlock it,” Steve snapped, fumbling the keys in his hand. He dropped them, the pressure of Eddie’s stare was kinda terrifying. He got the door open and unlocked the others.

When they were in the car, Eddie was finally alert, if anything overaware.

“What the fuck is going on?” he snapped.

No one said anything. There was nothing they could say that would make Eddie feel better, or calm down. Steve sped out of the parking lot, blowing the stop sign. He really shouldn't have, given the whole reason you were in the hospital.

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut. This wasn't happening. He was wrong. He was being petty and he was hurt because he thought you were being a dick but you were - he was gunna throw up - you were somewhere bleeding. While he was busy killing you, you were actually laying on the asphalt after a violent car crash. And he was thinking you're an asshole

“Their character died,” Eddie said, “I've killed them.”

“It's not gunna happen,” Steve said, gripping the steering wheel. It was a statement he couldn't back up.

At the hospital, Eddie barely waited for the car to stop before he was running inside, tripping over his own feet as he rushed to get to you. dustin was hot on his trail and steve was parking the car.

Eddie saw Nancy with Jonathan over by the nurse's station, and when Nancy saw him, she came hustling over, putting her hands on Eddie's arms. Dustin spoke quietly with Jonathan in the background.

“Relax,” she said, “please breath. They’re okay right now, they’re in surgery, and it's going really well, okay?”

“Wheeler?” Eddie asked, eyes filling with tears he had no control over.

“It has to be fine,” Nancy said, “sit with me.” Nancy Wheeler was not going to lose another friend today. Not again.

And with no other options he listened, following Nancy to an uncomfortable plastic chair that squeaked when he sat. Nancy held his hand over the stiff arm rests, but he didn't find any comfort. He didn't think he would until he was with you again.

Jonathan sat beside Nancy, giving her a sad smile and handing her a bitter coffee. He sat quietly, letting Nancy give Eddie her attention. Dustin sat on the other side of Eddie, also opting to stay quiet. What was anyone supposed to say?

Honestly, the only thing Eddie wanted to hear was your voice.

Nothing changed for the first two days. But on the third day, the only change was in Eddie. He went from sitting quietly by your side to scribbling stuff in a notebook like a crazy person. He would also dip out to go use a library computer, or "check on some things," as he explained to Nancy.

Her and Steve were mutually concerned about Eddie's state. He was constantly babbling about saving you, and how he's figured it out they just have to succeed.

Everyone else got a chance to be worried when they got a call Tuesday saying there was a mandatory Hellfire meeting and anyone not in attendance would be left behind, and unwelcome for the rest of the campaign. He couldn't risk a single missing member. Not with the stakes...

Tuesday evening, Gareth, Jeff, and Keith are the first to arrive. They are curious as to what the hell their bandmate had cooked up, but they were more worried than excited. Eddie hadn't exactly been himself the last couple of days.

They don't expect a set up even more elaborate than usual. The lights are red and blue, making the room feel eerie, and small.

"Welcome to Hell," Eddie said, grinning and holding his arms open wide.

Gareth and Jeff exchanged a look, but were too nervous to speak. Eddie didn't want to explain the objective twice, so he waited for the rest of the party to arrive before he said anything, but the look in his eye feels sinister. His friends suddenly realized how truly fucked Eddie would be if anything happened to you.... like... for keeps.

When the rest of the party is there, they look to Eddie expectantly, but he just continues to smile like a maniac and tells everyone to take their seats. Dustin is confused to see Steve Harrington sneak into the room and lean against the wall.

"I cheated," he says when he has the attention of the flock, "y/n didn't fail the perception check, and therefore their death wasn't fair. However, death is death. So we're going to have to bring them back."

Dustin notices that Steve Harrington's presence is not explained.

Nancy sits at your bedside like she has for the better part of the last four days. She holds a book in one hand, and the other rests casually beside you, near your hand. She looks at you, and then her hand. She gets a supernatural chill.

She puts her book down, and speaks your name quietly, looking for any sign of life from you. One more day of your glass features and she was going to crumble. Nancy shakes the bizarre feeling from her head, and pats your hand.

She shocked when you're ice cold to the touch. She recoils, pulling away fast. But after the initial shock fades, she touches you again. There was no way that was right, right? You were freezing. What the hell was that about? Nancy starts a search for a blanket to warm you up.

A mage freezes your body. The party scavenges for anything that can help and then leave the cave, your frozen body in tow. Another player can't make life saving throws for you, so they were thinking outside the box. They would take you deep, deep into an ancient necromancer's lair, and steal the resurrection stone from around his neck.

Nancy returns with a simply grey blanket, and a very friendly nurse. They had gotten to talking, and Nancy has simply explained how cold you had been, having not thought too much of it. The nurse, Sophie, had decided to come check it out too.

"Oh my gosh," Sophie says, feeling the ice cold skin. "Oh my gosh, she's like ice!"

And leaves Nancy feeling a little worried as she scurries out of the room. It was like she'd never seen anything like it. Nancy feels uneasy, and makes a quick phone call from your bedside phone. Jonathan picks up, and as soon as he hears the concern in her voice, he's on the way.

Nancy hangs up, picks the phone back up, and calls Steve. He picks up on the first ring.

"Something is like... actually happening over here," she whispers, shocked to even be saying it.

"No shot," he says, nearly laughing at the idea. He whispers the next part so the group doesn't hear anything, "I thought we agreed Eddie was just crazy, and this whole 'saving her character will save her' was just to show him that he didn't cause all this."

"I know we did," she said, "but y/n is cold as ice."

Eddie's voice booms as he narrates the perilous journey. After trap rooms, fighting devil dogs, two gargoyles, and a Molydeus that nearly killed Mike. They had made it into the inner sanctum, but had all failed to roll perception upon entering, and set off a fire trap. One that melted the spell on you, leaving you warm enough to die. "Hurry!" Dustin shouted, "engage the necromancer! Hit 'em with everything we got."

Nancy is already back into her book, Jonathan sitting on the floor beside her, leaning his head against the armrest, while she dangles a dainty arm over his shoulder, letting it lay relaxed on his chest. A single beep draws her attention. She notices something different, but she can't say what. Your cheeks are rosy.

Nancy brings her hand off of Jonathan, drawing his attention too. She puts a cool hand against your forehead, and is again shocked by how you feel. You're burning up. You're fucking hot. Like boiling. Nancy runs to find Sophie again.

The turn is Keith's, his mage more powerful than the others, but instead turns his attention to your character. "I cast flesh to stone on y/n!" the mage shouts. "She'll die if she stays like this." "Roll for it!" "18!" "Pass!" Your body is frozen again, this time encased in stone. Another stall, and Eddie knows the party is running out of time.

"You have to feel her head," Nancy says, speed walking with the bubbly nurse hot on her trail. Sophie complies, and gasps.

"It's not possible," she says quietly, "I'm getting the doctor. There's something strange about your friend."

Nancy looks down at you, and jumps out of her skin when the machines start beeping wildly. All of them making different noises, all of them loud. Sophie rushes back in, with more staff behind her. Nancy and Jonathan are ushered out of the room by a woman who explains that you're in a code blue, which means they have to resuscitate you.

Nancy looks around the white hallway. She's overwhelmed and underpaid.

"Stay here," she tells her boyfriend. "This is crazy!"

But she runs off before she explains anything else. She's after a phone, which she finds with no trouble. She fishes a quarter out of her pocket, and uses it to call Steve again. He picks up as fast as last time, desperate for something other than watching dnd.

"Whatever they're doing, tell them to hurry up!" she's shouting, drawing the attention of patients and staff around her. "Something's happening! She's not breathing!"

The necromancer stands injured. The party cornering him, making him cower. He trembles, and begs for his life. He explains that the party came to his home, killed his people, and now wish to rip off the very thing that keeps him alive. "I stab him through the heart, and I take the necklace." Dustin says. As he looks at Steve, he thinks he understands what's going on. "Roll." "For what?" "Dexterity." Dustin rolls his die. The table is silent. The little D20 lands. the group erupts when they see the Nat 20 he rolled, effectively grabbing the necklace and throwing it around your neck from a metre away like horseshoe. As it lands on you, the ground shifts under the party's feet. Everyone stares in silence, both in the campaign and real life. Your character opens her eyes, coughs, and rises.

The party roars to life at the table, cheering at a job well done and slamming hands on the table in excitement. But the cheers are short lived, silence coats the room but this one is different. It's serious, eery. They can see that Steve looks worried, and he's trying to get Nancy to answer him, but he's getting nothing. looking at Steve expectantly. Apparently, everyone had figured out what the plan was. They all knew they were trying to wake you up. Steve says nothing. Just hangs up the phone, looking up with a disappointed frown.

"The line went dead."

Steve is once again driving Eddie to the hospital. And he's a nervous wreck. You're like schrodinger's cat. Eddie doesn't know if you're alive or not. He chews on the side of his thumb during the entire ride. The rest of the club was waiting patiently in the drama room. Eddie and Steve promised to call as soon as they knew anything.

Eddie can't fucking breath as he sprints down the hospital hallways, ignoring every sign and person telling him not to. He doesn't care. He has to get to you.

Wheeler is outside your room talking to a doctor, but with her back to him he couldn't see the bright, beautiful smile on her face talking excitedly about your miraculous recovery. Eddie runs right passed her to your room, and uses the doorframe to propel himself in, scaring both you and Jonathan who had been sitting quietly.

You look pale, and there are bags under your eyes. But you're sporting a weak smile, shaky hands holding a cup of lime jello. Eddie can't help but smile. You're awake, sitting up, and smiling at him. He has to laugh at the like, ten empty jello packages. Jonathan slips out the door without a word, and Eddie takes his seat by your bed.

"I was so fuckin' scared," Eddie says, tears falling from his eyes before he could even process it. He hadn't realized.

You hold your hand out for him and whisper, "Eddie," and he looks up, puppy dog eyes glossy with lingering tears, and heartbreaking to see. He takes your hand. "You didn't do this."

And he cries harder, leaning down and holding your hand to his forehead and begging your forgiveness anyway. "I did," he cries, "out of spite and jealousy, I tried to hurt you, and I did. I let them leave you alone. I made them and I cheated-"

"-Eddie-"

"-and you should've seen the party-"

"-Eddie, seriously-"

"-leaving because you totally passed the, ow, hey!"

You had flicked him on the nose, his babbling giving you no other choice, but as usual he was being dramatic, you hadn't actually hurt him at all.

"Eddie, stop, and listen to me," you say, "you didn't do this. You're not actually all powerful, you know that, right?"

"But-"

"But nothing," you say, smiling. "But Nancy told me that you saved me so no hard feelings."

Eddie smiles back at you, letting you wipe the tears leftover on his flushed cheeks. He leans into your touch and your heart swells. In your mind, you beg him to kiss you. You beg and plead and hope that this will be the time he makes a move.

He knows this is his chance, he leans closer to you, slowly, gauging your reaction. "Is this okay?" he whispers, when he's just an inch from your lips. You feel his breath as he speaks and you can't resist, pushing yourself forward to close the gap. And he kisses you like he's kissed you a hundred times before. Like he already knows everything you will like, even before you do. His lips are so fucking soft against yours, all plush and warm and taking over your senses.

"Well, I guess I can tell the others that you're fine," Steve says, and Eddie pulls away from you. His sudden absence is cold.

"I saved her," Eddie says, grinning. "Nancy said so."

the hair on the back of will's neck having a disco party during this entire fic

[hulloitsdani]

What do u think Kiran is

How do u think the order sees kiran

*slowly sits up in my chair*

I think Kiran is a very normal person. This is someone you and I have met before. Be that from the other side of grocery store cashier, waiting in the same elevator, or walking by on a crosswalk. Kiran is a civilian from our world trying to roll with the punches of being warped somewhere completely alien. And you can see it in how they conduct themselves.

I always have a lot of fun writing Kiran’s dialogue because their casual modern speech almost feels like a dialect in comparison to the more formal fantasy tone everyone else speaks with. An “ain’t” will never exit Alfonse’s mouth, you know? And there’s a difference in “Do you have gold?” vs “You got gold?” To me, this gives Kiran an air of unfamiliarity to anyone they interact with. Let’s use Grima as an example, because it doesn’t sound like this grammatical change would make much of difference until Kiran has the audacity to hit Grima with a bro mid sentence. But that’s just how they talk. And as sweet and friendly as they are, there’s always moments like that to remind that no one has the cultural context to fully understand Kiran. Except for the audience, who can realize that Kiran let the customer service voice drop to talk to Grima like he’s an actual person.

And that’s just about how they talk! This view is only emphasized by every other thing about them! They’re a lovable goof, which is normal chill person behavior in the audience’s eyes but feels REALLY ODD to the characters of FE’s medieval fantasy war setting. There is this air of unknown about them that the more socially perceptive will pick up on and will try to come to a conclusion about. Example, I imagine Soren would interpret a lot of this as a dangerous and deeply annoying lack of intelligence from someone he has the displeasure of sharing a tactics table with. Or looping back to the Grima example, he would totally think Kiran has greedy ulterior motives behind that pleasant facade. It takes a lot of work for those types to realize that the discrepancy present isn’t really any of those things. But I also wouldn’t be too surprised if Kiran doesn’t try to directly prove any of those assumptions wrong unless they have to.

Why? Well now it’s time for the implications! Oh how we love the implications.

Because the Summoner is a different story. No one has any fucking clue what that is.

I can tell you what Kiran has pieced together so far. Summoning people from across time and space is apparently not easy. It’s not some school of magical study that some mage could pull off with enough time and research. Trust, Eitri tried. It’s a lot of complex moving parts. For example, the contracts. The contracts Kiran automatically binds their summoned to don’t even compare to the ones Veronica used in book 1. They are far more intense and infinitely harder to break. The only way out of them is if Kiran wills it so. Not even death is an option, because Kiran can come in for the revive. If they had to guess, it’s an older, more completed version of the art. Something lost to time. But no matter the case, Kiran has the ability to take full control of whoever they manage to summon. From a lowly farmer to the divine. And their power only grows.

In a similar vein, if there was any character to canonically see the hud, I think it would be Kiran. It’s genuinely part of their power set. I have previously described Kiran as the party mage until Veronica shows up to be the actual mage, but it would be way more accurate to call them a mystic/seer. They see the map, everyone’s stats, and is doing a fast amount of math to give the combat forecast. Then, upon processing all this information their enemies couldn’t dream of having at their disposal, Kiran can telepathically communicate any change in plans to anyone under contract. Kiran is not inherently some great tactician the moment they touch ground in Askr; they simply can do things no one else can. They’re learning the actual tactics part on the fly. This makes them simultaneously the largest ace up the Order’s sleeve and potentially its biggest liability. If they fall, it could cause a whole system cascade. By that same token, some of the biggest threats the Order has faced are the ones who do their research and rightfully target Kiran.

Now. Thinking critically about all that. That’s downright terrifying. A ridiculous amount of power has been dropped callously into Kiran’s lap and they have to work extremely hard to be moral with it. It’s terrifyingly easy not to be. It would actively take less effort to ‘take the reins’ as it were. But in order to be able to sleep at night ever again, they go the extra mile to not invalidate the will of their summoned. To take over like that. To make a colony of worker bees out of people. Because oh dear god they just summoned a child and the fact that they could easily force them to fight and die for them, only to be revived and do it all over again, is HAUNTING. No. No the Order has an in house orphanage now. This kid is getting adopted and cared for god damnit or Kiran might just pop a blood vessel. And sure that child is going to be a child and there will never be a world where they get along with everyone else, but that’s just going to need be a problem they address when they get there and not an excuse to use Hubris; the power set. Now replace the word child with everyone they ever summoned and you have the wider philosophy they apply to the entire Order.

They’re hyper aware of the power imbalance. They hate it with every bone in their body. They work really hard to correct it in whatever way they can.

So Kiran might not jump on the opportunity to correct those who think lesser of them. It’s… oddly comforting to know someone is keeping a critical eye on them. Holding them accountable. Especially since so much of the order just thinks of them as this quirky yet well meaning host. And, really, what can they even do about that? They have gone over the contract with every hero they summon and despite that they still choose to stay. So, what, do they try to inspire more mistrust? The problem with that they would have to actually do acts that intentionally inspire mistrust. And even if that was successful they can’t just waste the extra man power because every other month there’s some new divine asshole who wants them all dead. And if they fail that means they have to start their life from square one and god they can’t do that again so—

Just breathe Kiran.

It’s fine. You’re fine. Just breathe.

You have work to do.

[jacevelaryonswife]

After Dark | Part One

He wanted your fire to surround him in the crowd and burn him slowly.

pairing: female stripper!reader x modern!osferth | some moments of finan and sihtric.

warnings: smut, p in v sex, tiddy sucking, oral sex (m receiving). English is NOT my first language. 4,1k of words.

after dark masterlist

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A black cape and a crown-like prop was all that could be seen of the woman on stage, making Osferth even more anxious for whatever happened next.

He was a virgin in this, in this kind of environment. Throughout his life the thought of being in a den of carnality was never considered, his religiosity more fervent than most of the people with whom he lived acted as a wall to avoid such a path, however, there was no guilt or shame in his chest at that moment, just a natural embarrassment to be exposed to such a scope. He was a good boy, very polite, humorous, witty and with good social skills, but when it came to going further with girls the scenario was different, scarier, shy and sloppy.

His first time was with a girl in college. She was sweet enough to guide the rhythm, they all guided the rhythm with him — which Osferth found very satisfying. He learned that he liked the lady in control, showing how, when and where he should touch her. In addition, his position was easier than taking control and having to concentrate so as not to end up too fast. He was a shrewd little shit in the end.

But none of that crossed his mind, not when all the lights went out again and an engaging melody echoed through the club making him mortally anxious and excited.

And then, exactly at the same time that the warm orange tone set fire to the stage and a male voice accompanied the instrumental, you were in full display to the audience with a wild posture. The cover that hid your body focused on the floor to reveal the simple black lingerie with props decorating both arms and a large yellow snake wrapped from his neck to his waist. You were absolutely stunning and sensual, especially when your hips began to move at a slow and seductive pace, almost graceful if you were not wanton, totally capturing his attention.

Watching her strolling in the night so white, wondering: Why It's only after dark?

Your eyes closed to sink in the music as you moved your body gently, handling the snake with a frightening naturalness even with the animal curling around your body. What if it suffocated you? Osferth thought dissuaded.

“Aye, mate, she seems to deal with snakes a lot,” Finan whispered without taking his eyes off the image of the woman ahead.

In her eyes, a distant fire lights, burns bright, wondering: Why it's only after dark?

And then when your eyes opened Osferth could swear that your irises were on fire, leaving your aura even more overwhelming than possible. You were not entangled in any poledance, which made your eyes travel along the audience with greater ease and stop in the direction of his. No, don't be stupid, she didn't look at me.

But he wanted it to be true. He wanted your fire to surround him in the crowd and burn him slowly.

Find myself in her room, feel the fever of my doom. Falling falling throught the floor, I'm mocking on the devils door.

And maybe Osferth's perception was right. Maybe you were really contemplating the young lamb ahead as a hungry louse, but that wasn’t an ordinary look, no, he felt almost invaded in his intimate space, as if you knew what he was thinking as you moved as gracefully as petals in contact with the wind. Not even when the other dancers collected the snake from your shoulders did the weight of your gaze soften, no, quite the contrary, your attention was clearly fixed on the central figure in front of the stage as you slowly floated on your bare feet.

Oh God, it couldn't be real.

Were you really coming towards him?"

In the dawn I wake up to find her gone, and a note, says: “Only after dark”.

Yes, you- No, I wasn't.

Moving a few centimeters to where Sihtric was, you went on to face him, dangerously approaching the threshold of the stage to caress him with your foot along his chest, abdomen and very close to his groin. "Can I, handsome?" You asked after stopping your movements and retreating your foot until you gently touched the base of the beer glass in front of it, receiving a positive nod. “Take it for me,” your order was firm and a little smooth. "Open your mouth."

After a few seconds, a feline and satisfied smile adorned your beautiful face when the Dane leaned over to receive the beer falling on a thread in his mouth, having his hair caressed during the process. “Such a good boy,” you praised him by handing him the glass to turn your attention to the young man next door.

Osferth's eyes sparkled when you stopped in front of him and moved your hips as you went down until your faces were level, leaving him redder than a ripe cherry. Your presence made his breathing fail and emitted enough heat to warm him on a harsh winter day, your firm and sweetnessous voice throwing a warm cloud towards him.

“Happy birthday, sweetie.”

"Thank you ma'am," he replied so quickly that he didn't realize the formal term. He's niver seen a woman like you before.

"Not so old yet, dear," you sent him the sexiest smile he ever received, apparently having fun with how disconcerted he seemed.

“He's just shy, sunshine,” Finan said with his accent thicker than usual.

Your attention was divided between the two men, looking at the Irishman while holding Osferth's chin with your warm touch. "Is he? I love shy little things," the savagery shone in your eyes, "especially when they are as handsome and blushing as you." You approached his face until your noses were touching.

His heart beat faster than a deer cornered by hunters and he was sure that if your lips kept shaving against his it would be even more difficult to hide the bulge between his pants. Maybe you had already noticed giving the open smile as you picked up the ballots that were thrown in your direction, getting up and walking to the central poledance. You took the prop off your head and threw it at the audience to the delight of them. Osferth was too static for his reflection to be fast enough to reach the object, luckily Finan was faster than the others and handed him over.

"Keep it."

Burning, burning in the flame, now I know her secret name. You can tear her temple down, but she'll be back and rule again.

Your movements were mesmerizing and precise, lavishing flexibility and sensuality to get him on his knees. When your feet touched the floor, you slowly sent your hands to your back towards the closure of the bra, looking at the audience that began to encourage your next act. He wasn't prepared for that. Especially when you looked at him and shook your head negatively. Several men howled asking to see your body, screaming, begging, making your laugh with malice and a hint of cruelty, denying them again

In my heart, a deep and dark lonely part wants her and waits for after dark.

Osferth realized that he wanted to feel the touch on his skin again, no, he needed to feel it.

After dark

He wanted your savage look only in his direction.

After dark

He wanted the overwhelming aura cornering him again.

After dark

He wanted everything.

God, he was lost.

“That's what I call a fucking show!” Finan's scream burst the bubble of lust that enveloped him, reminding him to breathe again.

Osferth never wanted so much to be subdued by a lady before. But unfortunately he was not the only one with the same thought and worried him even more when thousands of ballots were thrown in his direction.

“She's mine,” said a guy behind him.

"Not fucking. Leave that to me,” Finan said as he got up abruptly from his chair, going somewhere inside the club.

His mind was too stunned to reason what had just happened clearly, but he was warm and excited and it didn't matter if you slept with him just for the money, he wanted to have the damn experience. Fortunately Sihtric kept silent for a long time before asking Osferth what he had found, receiving a simple "It was good" from the blonde.

“I see,” the Dane laughed.

Of course he saw it, which in itself made him want to succumb.

“Where did Finan go?” He asked.

“Probably looking for your birthday present,” he replied bluntly, sending a very significant look.

What?

“What?” The youngest asked with wide eyes. Was he serious?

"Your birthday present," Sihtric repeated again, "You don't have to be nervous, she'll know what to do but I imagine it won't be cheap."

It wasn't a problem (depending on how much you were going to charge).

"What if she doesn't want to?" The question was genuine.

He took a long sip of what was left of his beer. “She is a stripper, wins who pays better and maybe someone pays better than Finan. I'm sorry for that."

Would you reject him? Yes, you could... but he wished so much that he didn't. It was anxious minutes waiting for the Irishman, his hands were sweating when he noticed other men going the same way as his friend went, however, only one of them came back faster than a man having his first time and made Osferth's heart accelerate.

“Come with me, quickly,” Finan almost dragged him from the chair down the same corridor. "They have rooms here, which turns out to be more expensive than the girl going to your house, but she was very clear about not going to cleintes' houses, ya see? Now, don't ask questions and enjoy the evening."

It was a lot to deal with in such a short time, but Osferth shook his head and asked:

“How much was it?"

"Don’t worry about it, she was very generous with ya."

"What do you mean?" His eyes narrowed.

"She's a premium girl and doesn't accept anyone. Logically, someone with our cash condition wouldn't handle it, but she liked ya. I'll still have to pay because of the percentage of the bosses, but it's much less than the whole amount," he explained as fast as he can given the proximity to the room, putting some packages of condoms in his pocket. “Now, go get her tiger. And I'll keep her crown,” he took the prop from the youngest's hands.

Being dropped in front of the door, Osferth took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror hanging on the wall, arranging his hair and clothes before depositing fearful knocks against the door. Sweat accumulated in his hands and he wiping them on the side of his pants, taking a deep breath when his sweet permission filled his ears. The vision that presented you as soon as you entered the dark room with neon lights was of you sitting on the edge of the bed with a suggestive smile.

“Hi, sweet boy. Lock the door and come to me."

He almost cred towards you, stopping a few centimeters ago when you got up and stroked his cheek. "What's your name?"

His voice was flawed and nervous when answering: "It's Osferth, lady."

“Osferth. What a beautiful name,” you hummed. "What do you want me to do it?"

Everything. He wanted everything.

“I...” his neck warmed up when he tried to express what he would like to happen. His gaze fell on his feet in shame, unable to face yours for a long time. "I… I want you."

"Do you want me? How?” Your question was calm, with no intention of scaring you. “Physically? A conversation?”

“Physically.”

“Do you want me to take control, dear?"

Yes, for God's sake, yes.

“Yes, yes. I want it, please,” he begged with puppy eyes and a lovely pout.

A bright and satisfied smile shone in your features as you leaned against his lips.

“Okay sweetie, just relax, I’ll take care of you,” your hand circled the back of his neck while the other held the other side of his neck, starting a slow kiss that made his skin warm up.

His hands were surprisingly fast in wrapping your body and breaking any minimum existing distance, delighting in the radiated heat and the sensual way that your lips moved, your tongue asking for access to experience it calmly, but firmly, causing him a low moan when your fingers pulled some of the delicate threads from the nape of the neck. "Such a beautiful boy. I want to hear more where this sound came from."

Your lips connected again in a moist and sensual web that dissipated part of his apprehension. Osferth didn’t want to have sex with you because of Finan or any factor that could be associated, he wanted you because his desire consumed him with a burning and unknown urgency. He wanted you even more when your bold fingers climbed inside the shirt to throw it somewhere on the floor, caressing the milky skin with the tip of your nails and marking it with wet kisses along the jaw and neck.

Would people know what happened when they saw your claim about him? Finan and Sihtric for sure yes and he couldn't even care about the provocations he would hear.

Osferth returned to reality when your caresses stopped and your body went back to bed. "Take off your clothes for me, honey."

His neck warmed up again and he realized that you liked it a lot when he acted like a helpless sheep. He had a nice body, but it probably wasn't the coolest you've ever seen — he tought, made him even more shy.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of pretty boy, you're really good looking. Come here.”

He was sure from there that you were bewitching him like a succubus ready to devour him body and soul. There was no fear in the way he discarded his shoes and pants and went to meet him with the condom between his fingers.

"Good boy," you purred, pulling him into a demanding kiss as you sat on his lap, grinding in his bulge.

Holy J- you were a fucking provocation. His hands circled your waist and back, unconsciously (or consciously?) Encouraging your lascivious movements that made him grunt softly. “So precious, like a little lamb,” your hands pushed him lying against the mattress, kissing him sensually. Feeling bold and extremely aroused, Osferth requested access to your mouth with his tongue, gently leaning against you and moaning when you gently sucked the tip of his tongue. Your taste was citrus with a pinch of adocity and an alcoholic background, like a tropical drink. Your lips ran through the jaw, neck and velvety torso, leaving a moist trail of lust.

For a moment, when you pulled his underwear down with your teeth, he forgot to breathe properly.

“Has any girl go down on you before?” Your question brought him back to reality for a short time.

"N-no."

"Shame on them," licking your hand, you grabbed the base of his cock and masturbated him slowly. "You have such a beautiful cock." Oh heaven. Your hand was working so well, much better than any time he touched himself. "You want me to use my mouth, my sweet Osferth."

“Yes please, please.”

"Good boy."

Even absorbed, Osferth caught it when you took the condom and wrapped it in the length of it, lowering it with a smile on your face to grab it like a popsicle. He moaned loudly and held your hair instinctively but without pulling. It was almost heavenly to have your mouth taking him in such a provocative and wanton way, so intense that he almost came when you moved the velvety balls.

Your provocation continued by concentrating your tongue on the coated tip that leaked pre cum, involving the bulbous part and sucking while moving the length with your hand. He was sure he went closest to the sky and came back when your warm mouth took him deep and vibrated around him, making him hold your hair more firmly. “Don't. Wait. I'm gonna-“

"You have an hour with me, dear, do you think you can give me more than one?" Your question was tempting, especially with the malice in your beautiful face and the continuous movement of your hand. "I'd love to feel you inside me."

Oh fuck, that immediately sent him to an intense peak and faster than he planned, but so overwhelming and hot that his legs burned. How sinful of him was to associate what you did with something heavenly, when in fact it was a blasphemy to the sacred. His body was red and a little sweaty, strong breathing and terribly satisfied. No other good girl has brought him such euphoria before.

No good girl removed the used condom and pumped it with ypur expenses on the summit of pleasure.

You certainly weren't a good girl.

"Did you like it?" Your question came after a while, lying next to him and gently caressing the contour of his chest.

“A lot. I've never... never been so good."

Your eyes sweetened as you contemplated his figure, receiving a satisfied smile in response.

"You're so sweet." You leaned over to chastely kiss his lips. "Any girl would be lucky to have someone like you."

His cheeks blushed and he looked away in shyness. You were being so nice. Maybe that's why he didn't calculate his next words. "Why are you here?" Oh no, idiot, why would I ask something like that? Your regret was almost instantaneous. "You don't have to answer, I'm sorry, it was an intimate question, I'm sorry."

"No problem, it's not a tragic story or something," you laughed softly. "I needed money and I needed it fast. It's not as terrible as it seems, I usually don't need to fuck with customers to pay the bills and the dance is enough, but little things like you that can't be ignored, so I had to make exceptions. And you, why are you here?"

"I... it was my friend's idea, Finan. A bet actually I lost. I didn't imagine this would happen," he said meekly, heart warming with his revelation. "Don't you usually do that?" He asked. "That," he emphasized.

“No. Most customers are not attractive and I’m a demanding girl," you purred and leaned against his chest, smoothing his beautiful angular face. "And you're handsome."

"You’re very beautiful too," he smoothed your back and gave a chaste kiss on your forehead, which made you chuckle on his skin.

And then, against his will, you walked away and knelt on the bed, removing your bra to reveal your beautiful tits and massage them dramatically.

“Mm, I'd love to have your big hands on me. Do you want to touch me?"

Fuckin hell.

He almost jumped on the mattress to reach you, covering your soft breasts completely with both hands, squeezing, playing, experimenting, enjoying...

“You're so gorgeous,” he was practically drooling over your appearance. “Damn it.”

“Mmm,” you smoothed the soft and milky chest in front of you, delighting in the touch that was replaced by his mouth after begging you (unnecessarily) from the puppy's eyes to smear your skin.

Osferth delighted in her soft breasts, sucking and licking the halo with desire, vigor and tenderness, nibbling on the protruding and newly hardened beak, which made your eyes close with pleasure. You bit your lower lip and straightened his hair, letting him take his time in the insatiable desire for you. From the smeared breasts he climbed to capture your lips with fire and lust, exploring your mouth with vigor, sucking your tongue as he has never done with any girl before. He kissed your jaw, your neck and your stomach when you lay on the bed, stopping at the panty line.

“Can I take it off?” He asked quietly.

“Of course you can.”

If he wasn’t hard as stone before, your wet intimacy certainly did.

“Do you know where women like to be touched?” You asked sweetly.

“Yes.” He pressed his thumb on your pearl, “here, isn’t it?”

“Mmm, yes, but it’s not like that,” you held his finger and created circular movements with the ideal pressure on your clit, “it’s like that.”

Your hand went to his hardened cock, making him moan. “Such a beautiful cock,” you licked your lips, “get another condom.” And he was very quick to follow your order, giving a tasty view of his cute white ass.

A small strip of shyness enveloped him by placing the condom on his axis in front of you, but he cled back and hovered above your body.

“Do you want to take control?” You asked.

“No. I don’t want to,” he held your back and ass between the bed and turned your body over his, being caged by your thighs and arms.

“Good. I’ll treat you very well, good boy.”

He didn’t gasp so hard when your hands held him in relation to the first time, but when you sank into him slowly... oh boy, all the air in your lungs is gone. He was sure he had reached the apex of pleasure.

Eyes closed, mouth between open and red skin, a true vision for you.

“Let me take a time,” your voice was soft as you went down totally, moaning in unison. “Damn, you’re a big boy. I love that.”

Damn it. The slow pace of the warm hug made him whimper in drunkenness, holding your hips tightly and raising his legs, which tilted your body forward. Leaning your hands against his chest you started to assemble it properly, moaning well and enjoying the moment.

On the other hand, he, the lad was vocal and quite interactive by the way his hips hit a few times against your own, wanting more, needing more.

“Do you want more?”

“Yes,” he said between one moan and another, blond hair sticking to his forehead by sweat.

“Okay,” you bit your lower lip, riding it stronger and faster, sending it to a cloud of lust that consumed you with every movement.

The whole situation contributed to the overwhelming pleasure that consumed his body. Be it the snap between the hips that filled the room, or the delicious sounds you made and especially the wet grip of your femininity against him.

“Move your hips too dear, give me that, I know you want it.”

And he wanted it, oh how he wanted it.

Osferth accepted your request and standardized your movements, hitting harder against your pussy (still very kind) that he had already used on a girl before, muttering a bad word the heat of the moment as he did a few times in his life. But fuck it, fuck it, he needed it.

You jumped uninhibitedly and maliciously in search of the apex, moaning his name as his grip began to increase, his cock brushing in all the right places at a delicious rhythm that was almost blowing his mind. Your wet pussy was soozing the inside of your thighs and the base of his cock, increasing the wet and profane sounds.

“You’re so fucking big, I feel so full. I’m going to cum so well on your cock,” your dirty talk almost made you come with tense hips, moaning loudly, which you noticed immediately, touching your clit while the tension in your core increased from the constant friction. “Hed a little longer, dear, I’m close.”

The weight on his balls was too much, he felt that he would really explode when he came, concentrating as much as he can for it to happen after you.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. That was so hard.

“Osferth, oh honey,” you squeezed him violently and his movements faltered when a hot and white wave crashed into your body and dragged you to the apex of pleasure. “Fuck.”

Fuck.

His hips crashed into yours for the last time right after your orgasm, filling the condom when cumming good and strong. It was totally heavenly.

He was floating in a cloud that erased all his thoughts except that moment.

You got up carefully and fell against his chest, lying next to him with a satisfied smile. “Did you like it, dear?”

He was panting and with a silly and wide smile, hugging you gently. “So much... so damn much.”

“Good. Get some rest, I want to make good use of the time we still have.”

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note: Sorry for the delay in publishing the chapter, the last few weeks have been terrible and stressful because of the finals.

— taglist: @gemini-mama @lexwolfhale @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @tssf-imagines @bel-bottoms

[rainbowsky]

Hi- first have to say I love your writing, your organization, you’re just amazing! I’m a middle-age mom of four who has never, ever been in any sort of fandom or “shipped” a couple in 40+ years of consuming tv, movies, music, etc. Got introduced to TU via my teen daughter and very quickly was bjyx before I knew it was a thing, before I even saw any BTS. Googled the actors, saw some BTS, and just thought “of course.” I mean, of course! (TBC)

(Cont) I’ve read just about everything here but if you’ve answered this, pls point me to it. My question is, how do the “antis” or “solos” reconcile the BTS with their POV that DD and GG aren’t gay, hate each other, are using the other, etc? [redacted]

Hi! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog. 😊

Sorry, I removed some of your ask because I don't like long asks, and you (perhaps unwittingly) included some theories/ideas I don't agree with and don't want on my blog.

As for your question, I have talked about similar topics quite a bit in the past. You can look through my 'solos belong to moling su sect' tag for my posts about solos if you want to dig a little deeper, but I personally don't think there's any point in going down that path. Solos are free to believe (or not believe) whatever they want, and it shouldn't really have anything to do with us.

This question is inviting me to psychoanalyze, theorize, and speculate about what they think and believe, but in my opinion there's nothing good that can can come out of doing so. I have done some of that in the past, and in my opinion it's totally pointless. If anything, it just helps create the perception that we should be digging into topics like this - something I definitely do not believe.

I have talked to solos about these topics in the past, and the thing that stood out to me about those discussions is that they're just different people who have different views. Might as well ask why anyone has a different view about anything.

If you've ever tried talking to someone who is opposite to you on the political spectrum, surely you've experienced how different and unwavering another person's views can be. Trying to unravel all of that can be a huge mess, and is ultimately just a waste of time.

The reality is, different people have different levels of investment in the type of material we focus on, they have different interests and motivations for being involved in fandom, they have different backgrounds and leanings, and they have different views and interpretations of everything they see. Even different turtles have different views and interpretations.

We don't need to spend a moment thinking about any of it. In fact I urge people to just avoid solos, avoid trying to speculate about them or digging into their perspectives or beliefs. It doesn't matter what they think, and most of their thoughts and feelings about this topic are hateful and homophobic. It is harmful to dig into and spread these ideas.

I have a whole post about that here.

I say this all the time, but we need to stay in our own lane. Focus on GG and DD and their projects. Enjoy being a turtle. We shouldn't waste our time or brain cells worrying about what haters and naysayers think, or why.

This isn't just about avoiding negativity or fan wars, is also about respecting other human beings. They have their own views and their own experience of GG and DD, and they have every right to experience it in the way they want to. It's not our role to try to change their perspective or even to evaluate and judge them. Live and let live. Yes, even when they don't extend us the same courtesy. Perhaps especially then. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

"Why don't people believe BJYXSZD?" should never be asked in a way that implies that anyone who doesn't is stupid or blind. And I'm saying that as someone who's guilty of doing that all the time. No one is obligated to dig into the evidence, and no one is obligated to believe.

There are a LOT of turtles who don't believe, either, and they're still turtles and they still love and support GGDD and still bring a lot of great value to this fandom. If we can accept them, surely we can come to terms with the fact that solos don't believe, either.

PS] Just one thing I wanted to reply to that didn't get posted from your ask - there is definitely no world in which solos believe that they were once a couple and broke up. There may be a rare person out there who fits that description, but the vast majority of solos don't believe that their idol is gay or has had any kind of a romantic relationship with the other one. A huge percentage of them are extremely homophobic or at least heteronomative.

[livwritesstuff]

heyo! loving the steddie dads. was wondering if either of them suffer from nightmares or ptsd after everything they've been through? and how they might deal with that on a day-to-day/anniversary basis.

Hi friend -- took some time on this one because this is a Topic for me.

Short answer – yes, 100%. I don’t think any person on the planet could experience that kind of thing and not come out of it with some serious issues to work through. 

Longer answer, and not to abuse my psych degree, but it’s really tough to say how they would be affected 10, 20, 30, etc. years down the line because PTSD and trauma are both so unbelievably complex – for many reasons, but in part because PTSD can do two things (sort of) simultaneously.

Wane over time

Completely and permanently alter the “wires” (neural pathways) in your brain

I think that there’s sometimes this perception in the ST fandom that every character in the show who experienced a trauma would have PTSD by default, but that might not necessarily be true. Stats actually show that the majority of people who experience trauma in some capacity will in fact not display PTSD symptoms. I think Mike and Dustin at the onset of season 2 are a fantastic example of how two people can go through the same events together and come out of it affected very differently.

(Sidebar: I think Stranger Things has a fantastic opportunity to show how varied the effects of trauma can be. Granted, I don’t think that’s the story they’re telling, but they totally could.)

Experiencing a traumatic event is not necessarily a one-way ticket to PTSD symptoms and/or a PTSD diagnosis – to be clear, this doesn’t mean that there are not lasting negative effects from that traumatic event, but it is still distinctly different from PTSD (in its official definition) – and right now it’s not clear why this is the case. 

I have individual thoughts about each character as it relates to what they specifically experience and how I think they would be affected by it long and short-term, HOWEVER I also recognize that I haven’t answered your actual question, so I digress.

Rather than dive into whether or not I think Steve and/or Eddie have PTSD, we’re just gonna call it capital-T Trauma and move along. You’re welcome.

Anyways, by the time Steve and Eddie (as they exist in this ‘verse) are in their fifties, I doubt that any residual effects of their Trauma would still be anywhere near debilitating. Generally speaking, they can go about their day-to-day lives without thinking about what they went through all that much.

I do think that those effects may temporarily worsen around anniversaries, but even that really isn’t all that noticeable by the time they hit the 2020s.

They’ll still occasionally have nightmares and I don’t think Steve ever fully lets himself believe that it’s truly done in a way that Eddie doesn’t relate to because he never had to experience what it’s like for it all to come back.

(Small potatoes, but I also don’t think Steve could ever own a dog no matter how much his daughters campaigned for a puppy when they were in elementary school).

I think the Trauma that Steve experienced shows itself in his adulthood when it comes down to raising kids. 

I’ve talked before about how Steve has a moment when Moe turns ten where it kind of clicks for the first time just how young Erica had been when he allowed her to get caught up in everything. He hadn’t been able to see it until he was a fully-fledged adult raising a ten-year-old, but he gets really hung up on it, and then he spends the next few years being like – Moe’s eleven, that’s how old Eleven was when she broke out of the lab; she’s twelve, that’s how old Will was when he got stuck in the Upside Down; she’s thirteen, that’s how old Dustin was when he almost got eaten by demobats in those tunnels. 

Then the girls start hitting their high school years and Steve starts realizing – oh, it wasn’t just the younger ones. I was also a kid still and put in a really fucked up position. It’s the thing that makes him truly see how few adults he had in his corner.

Eddie has a similar moment when Moe graduates high school and he realizes that his oldest daughter is as old as Chrissy ever got to be.

That being said I also don’t think Eddie gets as torn up over Chrissy as the popular opinion suggests but i’m a little afraid to voice that one lol

I definitely think Eddie and Steve never let themselves forget how Max, Chrissy, Patrick, etc. were vulnerable to Vecna’s curse because of a very specific circumstance – they were grappling with something internally that they didn’t feel they had the resources or people they trusted enough to address outwardly. Sure, they know that their kids aren’t at risk of being possessed and murdered by an evil monster, but the notion of bad things happening when people don’t have the support that they need is a very real phenomenon with very real consequences. By no means was that exclusive to Hawkins and it certainly didn’t go away with the Upside Down. 

I think that this becomes the crux of Steve and Eddie’s mentality behind parenthood – to make sure that their kids never feel like they can’t go to their dads for support, to never allow their children to be in a position where they have to suffer in silence. That, to me, is absolutely rooted in the parts of their Trauma that re-wired their brains irreparably.

Anyhooooo this is really just the tip of the iceberg imo but this is long enough already lol (but if anyone wants to hear more about the Stranger Things-Trauma paradigm, let me know because I could probably talk about it for hours).

[genderqueerdykes]

i've identified as a trans man and aroace/mlm for about 2 years. but i very recently realised i'm more non binary/agender than a trans man. and now for a few days i've been thinking i might be a lesbian. thinking of myself as an enby lesbian feels right but i feel like i'm not "allowed" to be one since i thought of myself so differently not too long ago. i could use some advice/words of encouragement?

sure!

identity isn't static, as we age, our understanding of our identities expands and becomes more complex. everyone adopts a label or identity at one point that they don't identify with forever. you do not have the same ideas about your gender as you did as a toddler, your perception of your gender and identity are changing because you are changing!

the past is exactly that: the past. at that point in time, that felt right to you, and who is to say that those weren't legitimate feelings at that time? even if you may not identify that way down the road, it doesn't mean that how you felt, in that moment, was illegitimate. you can't predict what the future holds, you can't predict how you're going to feel tomorrow, let alone months and years from now

i also wanted to say that it's totally fine to identify as gay and a lesbian at the same time, if you feel that would fit you! nonbinary and agender people fit under the gay and lesbian umbrellas just fine. however if you feel as though you are no longer attracted to men in a gay way, that's totally fine! most queer people identify as straight and/or cis for a long time before questioning and realizing they're not. straight and cis are considered the default in our modern societies, so almost everyone goes through a drastic change when they realize they're not straight and/or cis. almost everyone makes that transitional step in their journey, going from one radically different identity to another. it doesn't mean those people have illegitimate identities!

you're allowed to question, grow, and change. everyone experiences changes in their hobbies, interests, identities and sense of self. aging provides us perspective we may not have had before. sometimes that first identity that we adopt can act as a stepping stone, or a situation where we can tell whether or not those feelings are truly for us. it's okay to experiment, too- you can't know if you are or like something 100% until you've tried it. it's okay for you to be unsure!

i hope that helps somewhat, please feel free to ask any more questions you may have, i'm happy to help!

[grison-in-space]

Reading Men Who Hate Women (Laura Bates, 2020) at the moment. She's talking about the manosphere: the massive online communities of men who congregate to talk misogyny, ranging from PUAs to MRAs, incels and MGTOW. These aren't new topics to me—I've been following this off and on since watching Gamergate kick off—but Bates handles them well and I think this book could serve as an introduction if this is a movement with which you're not familar. By the way, it's been a decade since Gamergate this year. Isn't that a kicker?

(Incidentally, I first ran into the concept of incels way before I think many people did: when I was still on AVEN, c. 2006-2007ish, I remember a few occasions where users ran into incel communities and brought them to our forums to ask: is this like what we're doing? Is this like us? Consensus quickly solidified on the direction of "no," each time, not least because asexuality dialog at the time was extremely clear about divorcing desire from action, and it was very clear that the desires centered in that community were very different than the ones people in asexuality spaces were untangling.)

Bates handles the topic with grace, compassion, and a deep understanding that I really wish more writing on radicalization or terroristic networks used: people in real pain, who are struggling in pitiable circumstances to do their best and clearly need more support, can also in their pain be truly dangerous to others. Hurt people hurt people. Compassion for pain suffered is important—you can't understand recruitment without understanding that—but you also have to understand that pain, fermented in darkness, can create deadly poisons. Pain isn't essentially holy or cleansing or cauterizing. It doesn't accomplish anything good by existing. If we can relieve it, we should—but we should follow harm reduction principles as we do so, lest pain be allowed to multiply and fester.

What gets me is that in 2017, in the wake of the Google bro "manifesto," I spent a feverish week writing what wound up being a 20,000 word rebuttal studded with what eventually totaled 100+ peer reviewed citations. It got quite a bit of reach and covered ground ranging from effects of testosterone on behavior, the concept of effect size in sex differences, basic statistics, the ways that humans treat people differently based on their perception of gender, intersex trauma, and whether feminists care about men's problems (yeah, actually, and they should).

I released that piece, changed up my name and fannish presence—my long time pseud was tangled all over the piece's genesis—and hunkered down for the reprisals. I expected harassment and vitriol. It never really came: I ignored the comments on the post, after a bit, and I held boundaries on what I was willing to pay attention to. But by and large, I had no direct consequences from the Manosphere.

Perhaps the piece was too long (although I got many comments from people who read it and found it useful, and I included an index). Perhaps it was simply that I included a headshot of myself, with uncharacteristic red lipstick and characteristically buzzed hair, and cheerfully discussed throughout that I was butch and queer: sometimes I confuse people who are very focused on bioessentialist sex differences, because I don't fit their paradigms in the slightest.

About six months later, James Damore attempted to frame his incredibly poor decisions in light of his Asperger's, and I did get a couple dudes on social media presenting me with this information apparently in the hope that it would shock or embarrass me. I immediately pointed out, acerbically, that I'm equally autistic and that he was making us look bad, and they melted away again into the background. It wasn't really the well of terrifying anger and obliterative fury I was expecting.

I find myself reading these stories in Bates' book and thinking about the internet I grew up on: AVEN by 2005, WrongPlanet the same year, listening to people on the margins talk about their fears and hopes and dreams and theories about themselves. I find myself thinking about narratives and meaning, the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and why.

I'm certainly not the first person to worry about radicalization of young autistic people, especially autistic men. Not even close. Paradoxically, it's a group of people for whom an understanding of intersectionality is crucial: young disabled men often alienated deliberately from conceptualizing themselves as disabled, without the tools to understand why life is hard and painful and never seems to reflect their experiences, trying to construct understanding beyond one's singular, isolated defective wrongness—which is what's left, if you take community off the table.

(Have I mentioned how grateful I am that so many autistics are trans spectrum? Imagine if we weren't, and if I didn't have so many transfeminine sisters funneled along those same currents and drifting closely enough alongside to understand. My sisters, so many of whom are out there living and modeling better ways to understand and participate in gender as a social activity: by figuring out what is most comfortable for you, understanding that comfort for one might be agony for another, and taking steps to shape your own life into a fashion that wells forth the most peace and joy. It's a message we all need to hear, but that is a group of people I hear singing so loudly from my place in a different wing of the choir, and I love them for it.)

I don't have answers. As is, so often, the case these days, I have only grief and love, and the determination to build better structures where my own hands reach. I had intended to direct my career, once, to undermining the entire concept of "good genes" models of evolution and explaining how their convoluted connections to natural phenomena are better explained by other, more direct motives. Since 2020, I've been moving in a new direction—but what precisely it is, I'm not sure.

Sex differences is certainly a piece of it, though. Even if I find myself often enough writing that it's not enough to know a sex difference in one species to assume that another will reflect a similar relationship: we should study sex differences in animals, but we really shouldn't assume that humans will have the same ones or work the same way. I suspect this won't be the first time I tangle with that community. I suppose it depends how much authority I can accrue as protection first.

[queerespresso]

✨ Kant & Bison ✨

How I perceive their relationship so far. There’s for sure s*xual attraction..lots of it. That was apparent from the moment they interacted at the bowling alley. They were both very okay with it being a ONS. So I don’t perceive their night as a ‘love at first sight’ scenario.

Kant day dreaming about Bison felt like he was reminiscing on a very good night 😏 + maybe a bit of fondness for Bison’s personality. I was talking to a few mutuals about it and I shared in similar feelings that Kant is intrigued by the honesty and push back from Bison. Maybe he isn’t used to it?

♨️💭 The same can be said for in the bedroom. Kant may see Bison’s ability to put him in his place as an indicator that Bison may be capable of meeting that intimacy desire. I’m not sure how much experience Kant has had with his submissive side or if he’s consistently been relegated/more comfortable dominating or not partaking at all in SM with others (which fair if so, as you need trust).

Bison on the other hand, like I said in his personal post, he wants to be seen for himself. Not as an assassin. I think he’s probably lonely. When Kant gives him attention and is clear about wanting to be his boyfriend, that was appealing to Bison. He’s not clueless though. Kant is too smooth with some of his lines which is why Bison rolls his eyes or teases back. Kant is also consistently encouraging intimacy (maybe with multiple motives). It’s possible for Bison, he’s testing to see if Kant’s affection is real by holding off on more intimacy.

Now is Kant’s affection real? In my perception, sometimes. I feel like he’s a bit too smooth and thought out with the lines. I (personally) tend to trust people who fumble a bit more. It is entirely possible he really is just that smooth and confident without preconceived thought. But when he is quick to offer a relationship title to Bison without knowing him well, while having the police pressuring him to find information, it’s hard for me as the viewer to know what’s genuine or not.

For me, the moments where their foreheads are close to touching seem genuine (could be me being a romantic). Like they’re both overcome with their affection, even if it’s a crush or attraction at the moment.

While Bison IS having his “he likes me 🥹” moment right now, it could partially be a reaction to the attention or a crush. He doesn’t have consistent friends with their constant moves and is used to ONS after all. Bison also didn’t leave his phone number after the ONS and he was worried when Kant initially came to the dinner instead of simply happy so I think he’s not totally gone. He only started showing more openness once Kant made his intentions more clear. But of course that means the brat/teasing side came out to play.

I think Bison’s love will grow slowly as they build trust through moments where trust naturally grows: intimacy, trying to win over Fadel, persistently pursuing in spite of the obstacles, prolonged contact, revealing vulnerable information, etc.

I think it’ll be an internal struggle for Kant as he’ll sometimes forgets his mission and slip into his emotions. I truly think Kant will ‘fall’ in love and have oh sh*t 😳 moments. He’ll be very far in eventually and realize f*ck…I love him.

*Disclaimer: I am a bit of romantic but I tend to overthink various perspectives. No worries if you perceive their romance differently 🫶

[trainsinanime]

Trains in Anime - Arcane Season 2

As you may have heard, the second season of Arcane is out. Arcane is a complex and amazing show about love and loss, about power and class, about friends and family, about playing god and being god. It’s amazing, it’s beautiful, it’s heartbreaking, it’s an ad for a game you should never ever play, it sets the benchmark for what animation can be and do in this decade and beyond.

But most importantly, it has trains. Let's talk about them.

Prison Train

Apart from a few new angles on the funicular we already know from season 1 and some mine carts, there are two interesting train-like thingies in this season. The first one appears in episode 4 and is used to bring prisoners and main characters to the prison island. And it's weird.

Individual train cars run on two parallel lines of… something, with an overhead line ostensibly providing electric power (there are sparks from it). The running lines are not directly supported by anything, they run between pillars in the sea, and there, they're placed on some roller structures.

The main thing that gets me about this is structural. Are these ropes or steel beams? Either way, why don't they bend?

It's easy to say this is wrong and just move on, but it's more interesting to think of ways this system can make sense.

Personally, I choose to interpret it as a variation of the Aerobus design.

Picture: Rowema AG, CC-BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

The Aerobes is a classic gadgetbahn, a thing where an inventor said, "trains are boring, let's do a new thing that's exactly the same but proprietary, untested and less practical". In this case, it was a Swiss aerial cable car designer who came up with it. The design is that the train cars run on either two parallel steel beams or cables that are above it, and that are themselves suspended in the air. The resulting thing doesn't look too different from e.g. the Wuppertal Schwebebahn or similar systems (not that there are many), but with a much lighter infrastructure based mostly on steel ropes. Two commercial lines were built in the 1970s, one in Québec that lasted surprisingly long, one in Mannheim, Germany, for an exhibition, and that was where it stopped.

With the weird roller thing, I'm choosing to interpret this prison transport system as a similar thing. In this case the carrying rails/ropes are underneath the vehicle, but that doesn't change much. The vehicle is probably self-propelled and the rollers are just there to deal with heat expansion. I'll assume it's some magic steel so the wires don't move perceptibly as the vehicles pass over it. The vehicles themselves are only run singly, never as trains, presumably to avoid overloading the system.

There are two vehicles, one with a ramp, one with doors that open outwards. It's possible that this represents the totality of that system. Somewhat unusually for a prison train, the system is fully automated and can be used easily by escaped prisoners and by bloodthirsty alchemical monsters trying to break in. It looks cool though.

Intermodal transport

The other rail thing I want to talk comes at the end of the show, episode 9, and here Netflix really screws me over. It was basically impossible to take screenshots, even though it worked just fine for episode 4. They ended up crazy blurry, of the wrong moment, whatever. I've been making use of Fancaps.net, whose collection is exhaustive, but sadly they tend to focus more on important character moments and cool stuff and less on rail infrastructure. So please excuse the wall of text.

At that point in the show a big invasion is happening, and our heroes are trying to defend themselves. One of the means they have is an innovative form of multimodal container transport. The shipping container is brought to the loading station by rail. From there, it is lifted by magic, through a magic gate… and then fired at high speed at the enemies. Fun!

The shipping container and the flat car are both designed to be a bit fantastical, not a direct copy of our modern world, and I can respect that, even though I don't know how these angle brackets are actually supposed to hold the container in place.

But then… look at that truck. Or bogie. I'd give you a better angle but Netflix insisted on making it blurry. Hell, I'll give it to you anyway.

Ignore the foreground, that's just characters frantically trying to save someone's life. What's important is the railroad truck. And as you can sort of see, that's clearly a Y25!

Okay, back up a bit, let me explain. So most rail vehicles have four axles. To go around corners easily, these are not directly attached to the main body. Instead two axles in the front and two in the back are attached to a special frame that can swivel and pivot; the truck or bogie. I think one of these terms may be British and the other North American, but as someone who is neither, I don't actually know, as far as I can tell both are in use.

As the part that holds and guides the axles, provides most of the suspension, takes all of the shocks that the suspension can't, holds braking equipment and propulsion equipment, the bogie of a train is super important. There is a lot of research and development in that area, with designs being constantly refined and improved.

Except when it comes to freight cars. For freight cars, there are two bogies: The French one, used in Europe (excluding the former Soviet Union, probably Finland, and for the UK it's difficult), and the American one, used everywhere else.

This division isn't quite accurate, but it's accurate enough. It's not a law by any means, people keep inventing new trucks for freight cars all the time. But they rarely get sold much. The standard designs are good enough, they get produced in large numbers for cheap, and since they're so standardised, if you use them, you can skip a significant number of steps the approvals process that otherwise come with inventing a new type of rail vehicle.

I am somewhat lying here, in that both the French and the American design are actually large families with many different types, and I assume in particular American rail fans will be angry when I say all their bogies look the same to me… but I'm correct anyway, sorry.

I don't have any good pictures of the American style, so have one from a model railroad car instead:

These are known as Bettendorf-style or sometimes "three piece bogie", their central part is that they have two side frames that hold the axle ends, and one central bolster connecting them. The springs are between the side parts, the bolster isn't directly fixed to them. Rides well on rough tracks, which is why you'll sometimes, rarely, see them on maintenance of way equipment in Europe (although generally beefier versions of the same design. Same in the US).

In contrast, the French version is the Y25.

It also consists of one bolster and two side frames. However, it also usually has additional relatively weak parts at the front and end. The bolster is fixed to the side frames, but it's designed to flex in itself. The springs are between the side frames and the wheel bearings. A characteristic part for the standard type is the "belly" between the wheels, and the hole in there.

Arcane is made by Fortiche, Fortiche are French, and thus their rail car gets a Y25. They spaced it up a little, and in the course removed the suspension and brakes and added a plate over the hole where the central bolster attaches, but it's still clearly a Y25 type bogie.

The rest of the track is a bit weird. The train car doesn't have flanges, instead it runs in grooves in the ground. It's also unclear how it's moved there; it seems to be some kind of winch (you need to turn a handle really hard or push the train car with superpowers). Most importantly, it's unclear why someone built a container delivery railway to the top of the city's tallest tower in the first place. But I am absolutely delighted by the Y25 freight car bogie there.

If you are interested in the wide world of freight car bogies, and you speak German, I strongly recommend Drehgestelle.de, a delightfully old-fashioned website by a single guy who really cares very much. He charts the history of the Y25, the Bettendorf bogie, the earlier Diamond bogie, the German counterpart to the Y25 that used to be popular until it got outlawed, and all the various weird other things that have been tried.

All in all, a good show, I can recommend it.

[lyramundana]

I BASICALLY LOVE MINSUNG X F!READER CAN YOU SAY YOUR HEADCANONS ABOUT IT? I'm so sub for them I swear the god

I can feel your enthusiasm through the comment and I totally relate to it, I'm really a sub for these greek gods too!!

Now I have various headcanons with my oc, Vivi or Violeta, but since you mentioned fem!reader, I'll go with that.

POLY MINSUNG X FEM! READER HEADCANONS

-They're both switches, but Minho tends to take the lead and leans towards dominance more. However, Jisung can be pretty intense too and they can have this battle of pride where they try to manhandle the other into submission. It's fucking hot when it happens because you can't tell which of them is doming here.

-Since Jisung is the younger in the relationship (for a while), he's usually the one being take care of and he LOVES it. Minho, on the other hand, enjoys pampering his jagiya and protect him. The roles outside the bedroom remain the same usually. Minho is the caretaker, with ocasional soft moments when he needs pampering too, and Jisung the babyboy that needs constant affection.

-When you come into their lives, their routine crashes and their entire world perception is turned upside down.

-You meet Jisung first, both of you becoming friends quickly, and you kinda befriend Minho too by association. At first you two only hang out when Jisung is involved and aren't really close, but as time passes and he sees how comfortable his boyfriend is with you, he starts to warm up to you. In return, you see how happy he makes Jisung and the great partner he is, so she start to apreciate him more.

-What started as a friendship with Jisung and a mutual respect with Minho becomes a besties trio. You're younger than them, so they try to look after you out of instinct, but since you're not korean you don't really see the point of this idea of treating people differently by their age.

-More often than not you have arguments because you feel they see you like a kid sometimes and you remind them that you're a fully independent human and you don't need to be treated like a damsel in distress. Jisung is a lot more open minded about it and understands your point of view, but Minho is more conservative and stubborn, so you two argue the most. As your bond progresses, you learnt to let them take care of you sometimes and be vulnerable with them, while they accept to treat you like an equal instead of a "dongsaeng".

-Following this, there are times you decide to take care of them instead and babying them in return, partially for teasing but also because you like it. They're so cute and soft and fluffy when you're alone, you just want to squeeze them in your arms. You reprimand them like they're your children when they do something that bothers you, you bring them clothes and make-up, you fix their hair and clothes when they look messy, you call them stuff like "good boys" "my babies", "my darlings" (the last one is always in a playful tone).

-The position of dominant one in the relationship it's yours now because Minho has found out he loves to be babied and spoiled too, so when you're around he lets you on charge often. In private, they just want to snuggle with you and have you massage their scalps, call them sweet names and cover them in love. Jisung lets out hums of contentment and Minho straight up purrs, curling into a ball against you. At first he fights is off because it hurts his pride as man and the oldest, but it feels way too good.

-Suddenly they bring you to their dates. You become a part of every activity they usually engage in together. You feel weird at first thinking you're intruding in couple activities, but they reassure you constantly that they enjoy your company.

-They're obsessed with hearing you speak in your native language. Even if they don't understand anything, the way your voice shifts and how beautiful you sound makes their brain go brrrr. If used right, you can use this to lull them to sleep.

-From outside, it looks like the typical girl with her gay besties (and you think that's the reality), but some of their acts feel more than platonic. Regardless, you embrace this image and proudly refer to them in the same way, not noticing the uncomfortable frown on their faces.

-They're the type to treat you like their partner before you guys establish it, just to mark territory for other people (and because they really want to live that fantasy). You may not be theirs fully, but they'll be damned if they let someone else get you. They don't get it at first, they fool themselves into thinking they're just being good friends that care for you too much.

-In my au where Minho experiences a bi awakening because of fem!reader or my oc Violeta/Vivi, this is all more intense and chaotic. They have a lot of trouble dealing with it because they don't know what this means for their relationship and, considering the culture they've been raised, the idea of polyamory doesn't instantly pop in their heads. They're confused and scared, because they feel they're emotionally cheating on the other and also ruining their friendship with you. This leads to several misunderstandings because they can't cope healthily, but they still insist on having you close.

-However, once they come to terms with their feelings for you and embrace, they go from shy, awkward boys to possessive, almost toxic men. They were already clingy before, not wanting you to leave them for anything or anyone, but now they don't even hide it. They're determined to have you, to show you belong with them, and can't stand seeing you with other people.

-It starts slow, you can't even notice. They're more physically affectionate, one of them or both is always touching you in some way when you're out, they refer themselves "jokingly" as your boyfriends and that's why you don't need to go on dates with someone else.

-Then it grows. Their hands now drift from their usual places at your shoulders and back to your waist. Their clinginess worsens. They make you sleep with them in the same bed, shower together like "besties" do, dressing you up because "they love seeing you in new clothes", etc. You force yourself to not think much of it because you see how perfect they are for each other and there's just no way they can feel something more for you..right?

-They're frustrated by how blind you are to their advances, but at the same time, they use it to their advantage to get away with it. The only reason you let them go this far is because you're convinced they can't like you that way and you bet they'll take it as an advantage. As long as you think it's all *overly friendly besties", you won't push them away.

-Deep down, you know something is off here but you can't help but enjoy their little acts. You're used to repressing your forbidden feelings for them to not ruin things, but when they treat you like this, you just let yourself get caught in the moment and pretend you're actually dating them.

-It all breaks down by a jealousy fit from them. The mere thought of losing you to another, for you to love someone else and let them touch you drives them mad, so they make a statement.

-By statement means they lock you in their room and spend hours teaching you not to stray away from your partners. By the end of it, your sweating, clothes tore open and there's not a single trace of skin they haven't marked. Bites, hickeys, bruises. They just let out all their anger and frustration on you.

-The aftercare and morning after is immaculate tho. They feel a bit guilty for how rough they were and make sure to treat you like a princess.

NSFW part ahead, beware❗

-They may be switches but with you, oh boy, you don't have any power in it.

-You have a safeword established and they will stop immediately if you don't want it anymore, but that's it. They have full control over you and your body.

-They worship your whole being, but they have their favourite spots. For Minho is your ass, neck and boobs. For Jisung is your hips, boobs and thighs. They have small competitions to see who leaves the most marks or whose mark are bigger. Your body ends up covered in splashes of red, purple and yellowish.

-They only times they let you be on top is to ride one of them when the other is behind you. They still control your moves and you're basically a doll for them to move around.

-Literally. While you guys are fucking, you're treated like a toy by them, a pair of wet, tight holes for them to fill and play with until they get tired of it (they never but you guys needs to rest from time to time).

-Minho is a sucker from going at you from behind while Jisung is underneath you, both thrusting into you from their positions while you're trapped between them, just taking whatever they give you. Their hands are never too long in one place, constantly roaming all over your skin to feel you up. When he's about to cum, Minho grabs into your boobs and hides his face on your neck, getting drunk on your scent, while Jisung hugs your hips and hides his face in your cleavage, licking the traces of swear that run down of it. They love cumming on their preferred spots to see their essence covering your skin, but if you're on birth control, the only way they're cumming is inside you.

-When they heard the concept of "double penetration", they knew they needed to try it, so they spent HOURS prepping you until they knew you could fit them both there. It was the first time the three of you orgasmed at the same time. The pleasure of feeling your walls closing them in and their dicks rubbing against each other with each movement was mind-blowing. It's a bit painful, so you guys only do it on special occasions.

-If they're still idols in this, you bet they have brought you backstage to fuck you in the the private rooms assigned for the group. Dressing rooms? Bathroom? The music station?? Done, done and done. You're their reward for a good performance or a stress reliever of the're not satisfied with the result.

-Mandatories quickies before stage. They say it's their "lucky charm" (which is a lie because there's usually another quicky after stage).

-The couches from the practice room? Jisung's studio? Yes and yes.

-You visited them once during practise to be a good girlfriend and bring them snacks during their break, and they thanked you by fucking you in front of the mirrors and fogging them. It was a sight to see.

-Another recurrent one is going to Jisung's studio and riding him in his seat or give him a blowjob while he works.

-Cockwarming it's not a kink, it's a necessity.

-And it's never just one of them, oh no. You have to keep both of them warm. Let it be each one in a hole or having both in your cunt. It's not always sexual, they're just pussydrunk and can't go a day without playing with it.

-When they feel in a rather possessive mode, they mark you and then you guys go out and you're forbidden from trying to hide it. They make you wear skirts that barely conceal the hickeys on your inner thighs, tops that don't reach your neck, leaving those purple bruises exposed. They get off from people watching them and realising you're taken.

-Outside the bedroom it might seem that you're in charge, since they behave like total babies with you and have to look after them. But if people look closely, they can see Jisung's firm hand on your waist, never letting you go. Or Minho occasionally brushing his hand on the expanse of your neck with a concentrated look in his eyes. They'll notice how you're never by yourself and one of them is always touching you somehow, keeping you glued to their side.

-In short, having Minsung as lovers would be a wild ride, full of passion and intensity. It's not a kid's game, since they're complicated people in their own right and you're still figuring out where this would lead, but one thing is clear.

-They're never letting you go.

If you want something specific or want me to change something, please let me know! I'd love to see more opinions.

[lines-in-limbo]

Lily is absolutely flirting in Snape’s Worst Memory - but I think this is one scene that has dated the series and is easily overlooked if the reader is not a Brit of a certain age. Lily and James are bantering in that scene in the way that Beatrice and Benedick do in Much Ado About Nothing or the way that Elizabeth and Darcy have crazy sexual tension while she’s telling him that she hates him and that he’s the last person on earth she’d ever marry.

People don’t see it now because James’ approach has so many red flags that are widely acknowledged as red flags in 2024 that they see Lily’s responses as genuine disgust and dislike, instead of her getting drawn into his game because she’s interested. But it was obvious in 2003 what JKR was going for here. The implication is that Snape lashes out at her *because* he sees her half smile and her flirtatiousness in this moment, and properly realises for the first time that his ‘best friend’ is totally into the guy tormenting him in front of half the school.

None of this is to say that Lily wasn’t a) completely right to terminate the friendship and b) wasn’t overall a very decent person. But she’s supposed to be a pretty shit friend here - put any one of the trio in Lily’s shoes and imagine their response to the same situation and it becomes clear that her half assed, rather impersonal defence was indeed intended to be half assed. Now of course this is directed by JKR needing to keep the connection between Snape and Lily secret until the very end, but she makes this work retrospectively from a characterisation perspective in the Prince’s Tale by depicting a Snape who is difficult to be friends with and who doesn’t recognise what true friendship *should* be because he’s never had it, and a humanised (not a saint) Lily who’s been quietly realigning herself away from her difficult friend for a very long time without making it crystal clear to him what she’s doing. It doesn’t make her bad, it makes her a very normal 15 year old pretty, popular girl with all the positive traits that entails (confidence, vivaciousness, fearlessness) as well as the negative (thoughtlessness, a lack of empathy towards those less socially adept).

Thank you for your message, anon. 

I understand where you’re coming from, and while some people interpret the scene as flirting or as "laying the groundwork for their eventual romance," especially when viewed through the lens of classical literature and 'enemies to lovers' tropes, I see it differently. For me, attraction doesn’t automatically equal flirting. I do recognize subtle cues in Lily’s behavior that suggest she might be physically attracted to James, and yes, there’s some tension, but I wouldn’t categorize that as flirting. To me, flirting is intentional—a deliberate way to say, "Hey, I’m interested in you; let’s date.” That’s not what’s happening here. While Lily may have had some attraction to James, her intention certainly wasn’t to express that to him, particularly because his bullying and arrogance were significant turn-offs. This is consistent with the fact that she only began dating James in their seventh year when he supposedly "deflated" his ego and stopped bullying others. She valued the growth she saw in him, which made him someone she could consider dating at that point. (Whether he genuinely matured is another discussion, but I won’t delve into that here.)

I don’t deny that Lily’s conflicting feelings toward James might have influenced her defense of Snape to some extent, but to call her defense completely “half-assed" because she was supposedly “flirting” with James seems like a stretch. (Honestly, I’m considering posting the whole scene because it feels like people may have forgotten what actually happened or have only skimmed it.)

From an external perspective, Lily’s defense might appear somewhat weak or insufficient, especially given the severity of the situation. However, it's crucial to understand that this perception does not fully capture the complexity of Lily’s internal experience. Lily’s primary goal was to stop the bullying by publicly insulting and embarrassing James. She’s clearly trying to de-escalate the situation by first shouting at them, and when that doesn’t work, she takes out her wand, ready to escalate things if necessary. While it may not have been the most forceful defense, it was still a defense, and it clearly demonstrated her disapproval of their behavior. Initially, it even seemed effective, as James did perform the countercurse to the full body-bind curse. However, after Snape called Lily a Mudblood, she left, and James and Sirius resumed bullying him.

From an internal perspective, in my view, the primary factor influencing Lily’s defense was the state of her deteriorating friendship with Snape. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts and reblogs, their friendship was strained, and she likely had conflicting feelings about him. As you pointed out, she was gradually distancing herself from him due to his behavior. After years of standing by Snape, excusing his actions, and pretending everything was fine, Lily likely felt frustrated and betrayed. She was torn between her past loyalty to him and her current disapproval, making it challenging for her to respond more forcefully. While I do wish she’d done more (and she certainly could have), her feelings are understandable given everything that had transpired between them.

Regarding the notion that Snape noticed any "flirting," I respectfully disagree. Snape didn’t lash out at Lily because he saw her "flirting" with James or noticed any subtle expression. His focus was on defending himself from Sirius and James. Additionally, he wouldn’t have seen her expression since his robes were hanging over his head while he was suspended upside down:

"James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants."

The more likely reason for his outburst was that he felt humiliated and emasculated by James, especially when James said, "Lucky Evans was here Snivellus —,” as he let Snape down. That likely exacerbated Snape’s embarrassment, leading him to lash out with, "I don’t need help from a filthy little Mudblood like her." It seems like he was trying to regain some dignity, and the slur slipped out in a moment of anger and shame.

All in all, you’re right—Lily isn’t a saint; no one is. And while I’m not eager to compliment JKR the TERF, I do think she did a good job of humanizing her characters. Lily isn’t as fleshed out compared to other minor characters like James, and I do wish we’d seen more of her flaws. That said, her response to the situation, while somewhat imperfect, reflects the complexities of her character, which makes her more relatable and human.

While we may not completely agree, I appreciate your interpretation and opinion, anon. Thank you for sharing your perspective. 💫

*As a side note, I want to clarify that I’m not trying to excuse Lily for not defending Snape more effectively; I’m simply trying to view the situation from her perspective, as I do with other characters when analyzing them. Additionally, I want to emphasize that I’m not hating on Snape. Some people have taken my posts and reblogs about Lily as an excuse to criticize Snape, but that’s not my intention at all. I clearly identify as a "Snape defender" in my bio. Just because I’m exploring Lily’s perspective in SWM doesn’t mean I don’t also understand Snape’s situation. I have other posts dedicated to him on my blog.

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

“Being a pirate is all about going your own way.” // “Come with me, Buggy!!”

is this post totally redundant after the similar post i made last week? idk. i guess the main difference is that this time i’m looking at the same topic in an unambiguously romantic light? the shipper goggles, as they say, are on, and i want to talk about these scenes in that context. so, if you’ll forgive me for repeating myself a bit, let’s talk about this again:

as much as i enjoy the heartbreak of “they always thought they’d be together but miscommunication tore them apart” takes on shanks/buggy, the very first flashback we get about them—the first things we learn about them at all, really—tells us this isn’t true.

and i think what we get is more romantic.

Chapter 19, Pages 12-13. i know last time i said they’re at most 12 here, but looking at these lanky-ass teenaged designs that’s nuts. i fully believe oda hadn’t thought through their ages/the timeline at this point, and they were originally supposed to be about luffy’s age when buggy got his devil fruit. which is not relevant to this post in any way, but it’s my post so i get to go off-topic if i want.

Shanks and Buggy have their own goals as pirates, and at this time they understand them to be mutually incompatible. Buggy thinks Shanks’ travel-and-adventure-oriented take on piracy is soft and foolish; Shanks doesn’t care for Buggy’s exclusively treasure-focused take. They’re sometimes friendly, sometimes not, they’ve fought side by side, but they know this time as allies and crewmates is temporary. (Buggy plans on taking his treasure map and the Devil Fruit and leaving the crew immediately.) Maybe they’ll become friendly rivals, ‘fighting to the finish’ when they run into each other like Roger and Whitebeard do, or maybe the next time they see each other they’ll literally fight to the finish. Who knows?

“That’s also what being a pirate is all about.” It’s very sensible behavior. Smart planning for the future.

Which means the contradictory ways they act later—Buggy secretly deciding to follow Shanks, Shanks bluntly asking Buggy to come with him—are not about these characters thoughtlessly clinging to the status quo. They are not in a “we were always together and I never thought that would change” situation. Deciding to stick together is a considered, emotional decision: “I know we don’t make sense together but I don’t care, I want us together anyway.”

Chapter 1082, Pages 8-9. i was cursed the moment i saw these pages with Unable To Stop Thinking About It disease; only time will tell if seeing it animated makes it worse or cures me.

This argument is a codependent breaking point. Buggy’s pinned all his dreams on Shanks, hoisted that poor boy up on a pedestal, and it all falls apart when Shanks reveals thoughts and plans that don’t match Buggy’s perception of him. He can’t bear to be around him now that the false image has been revealed. (Shanks, poor thing, seems to have had no idea any of this was happening.)

But if Shanks hadn’t said no to Laugh Tale in this moment—or maybe if he’d offered a soft no of, idk, “okay, sure, once we’ve got a strong enough crew”—Buggy would have gone with him, still projecting wildly onto Shanks. He’d convinced himself that being a member of the Pirate King’s crew was enough for him, that he didn’t need to be Pirate King himself if Shanks got the title and he was with Shanks.

…but would he have actually liked being a member of that crew?

Like, looking at the things the Red-Haired Pirates do, would Buggy have enjoyed being one of them? Wandering East Blue, hanging out in friendly port towns, collecting treasure here and there but spending a lot of time getting drunk and making friends with the locals? Eventually becoming famous for having a large, weak fleet of subordinate pirate crews Shanks has to sometimes physically step in and protect?

God, no, he’d’ve been miserable. Just seething with thwarted ambition, furious at the perceived disrespect. A real power hungry first officer stereotype, the kind of character that makes you think, Why’s he working for this guy if he hates him so much?

And Buggy must have suspected it would go something like that. But if Shanks hadn’t rejected Laugh Tale, he would’ve gone with him anyway.

(Better to be miserable with you than a loser on my own.)

Or say Buggy agreed to come with Shanks. Obviously his presence wouldn’t change the crew makeup significantly enough to skew the Red-Haired Pirates towards his way of thinking, but for the sake of argument: if he had convinced Shanks to do things his way, would Shanks have enjoyed the kind of piracy Buggy engages in? Taking over and destroying East Blue port towns, ordering your crew killed on a furious whim, single-mindedly hunting down treasure maps and single-mindedly hunting down treasure chests and paying no attention to anything along the journey? Eventually becoming the boss and administrator for a bunch of bounty hunters and mercenaries?

No way; most of that behavior is totally repellant to Shanks. If he let Buggy do that kind of thing under his banner, you’d be left wondering What happened to his morals? Why does he let this guy walk all over him?

And Shanks knew the kind of pirate Buggy was and wanted to be. But he asked Buggy to come with him anyway.

(Better to be miserable with you than have fun apart.)

It’s hard to see a way to make these very different styles of pirating work together. It’s probably doable… with a lot of compromise and honest conversation. The younger Shanks and Buggy had a point, when they said each going their own way was the obvious choice! It was certainly the easier one. Was it the happier one? Who can say.

[gingerylangylang1979]

Reddit and Twitter need this most but I won’t, because reasons

I have said before I don’t think ALL the Camry and Sydney hate is racially motivated but PLENTY of it is. It’s Richonne 2.0. This isn’t new to me.

There is the outright racist coded comments like claiming Sydney has to be a lesbian, has to be asexual, looks like Kendrick Lamar (yes, it was said), along with the inability to ever empathize with her character.

But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about unconscious bias with people who don’t get that they feel the way they do because Sydney is black. So anyone reading this may want to take a moment and honestly examine what I’m saying.

Unconscious bias is, for example, the thing that leads doctors, sometimes even black ones, to presume that black people don’t feel pain in the same way whites do. It’s not necessarily malicious intentional action or obvious hatred towards us. It’s subtle perceptions that change how one views the nature and capabilities of black people while still being able to be friends with them, respect certain qualities about them, and maybe even at times be allies. But there is always something different in perception that is so invisible that you aren’t aware of it.

I've seen it in white people, strangers and acquaintances, making assumptions about what I’m into or should be, what my education and earnings are, and who I should be friends and lovers with. It’s the thinking we can always handle anything and not be burdened. It’s what is happening a lot with Sydney, especially with Carmy.

People are allowed to not like the ship. They don’t have to. I’m not going to assume everyone who doesn’t is racist. But for anyone who doesn’t I think it would be beneficial to examine a few things.

Viewing the first scene between them, how would you interpret Carmy’s taken aback, entranced, nervous reaction to seeing her? To me it obviously says attraction and surprise. If there is another explanation I’ve never heard it. People just gloss over that interaction and I think it’s a tell. It shows that people may not be able to see him showing signs of attraction to her because she doesn’t look like who you would expect him to be attracted to.

2. How would you explain the way Carmy is constantly looking at Sydney closely like he doesn’t look at anyone else? When we see her from his perspective she if glowy or hazy or out of focus. We don’t see that with any other characters he interacts with aside from that finale flashback with Mikey. He doesn’t look at Sugar like that. Syd is the only one who gets special framing. If you’ve never noticed, why?

3. If you think Syd could be a lesbian or asexual, why her and not for instance Tina, or others on the crew? Sex isn’t referenced a lot so why is it not being referenced with her any different than it not being referenced with others? Often people assume a woman who dresses tomboyish is just that. Why can’t that just be her style? I have plenty of women friends that are straight and sexual with a similar style.

4. Could you imagine the scenes with Syd and Carmy if a man was in Sydney’s place? What would you think of the vibe?

5. Could you see Ayo in the Claire role?

6. Could you see Jeremy and Ayo playing love interests in a totally different show?

7. If Molly Gordon plays Syd could you better picture her with Carmy?

8. When you see a dark skinned black woman in a couple with a white man IRL does it make you especially take notice or feel it’s a bit off?

9. Does the thought of Sydney and Carmy kissing or being intimate make you have an extreme reaction like eeew or gross? Maybe not so extreme does it make you feel awkward to think about it?

10. Do you often compare their relationship to siblings?

11. Can you recognize the Syd isn’t into Marcus romantically and has other options?

12. Can you only envision Sydney alone and not needing romance because her career is all she needs?

13. Do you think maybe Carmy could find her attractive if she looked more glamorous?

14. Could you more easily see Carmy into Syd if she was played by Zendaya or someone that looks similar?

15. Have you never seen a couple that looks like Syd and Carmy?

16. if you saw the Emmy magazine photo shoot did you not perceive the touchy pose with Ayo and Jeremy as sexually suggestive and think it’s an impossibility?

17. How do you think Clairs would react if she saw all of their interactions?

18. Is it easy to view Sydney as having complex motivations and emotions at the same time? Can you possibly see that she’s jealous of Claire because she distracted Carmy from business AND because she has feelings for Carmy? Is it possible to think she can view Carmy as a boss, mentor, and someone she is attracted too and that’s hard to process?

All of these things may not apply to your perception but if any do realize these are very common examples of how unconscious bias plays out when thinking of black women, especially in storytelling. This is a lot of what has historically been seen with similar ships and IRL mixed couples. That’s not to discount the numerous white man, white woman ships that people don’t like, but these things are consistently present with black women and white men presented in the media and celebrity couples. There is always more scrutiny with these pairings.

You may not have a context to understand that. You may have never been questioned in this way. You may be angered to think it’s possible this is a role in how you are viewing things, but it’s the truth based on lived experience and observation. It’s worth examining.

I’m not here to be hostile, I’m just trying to voice in a gentle way what so many here already know and you may not be aware of or ready to think about.

I’m not going to argue with anybody about it but any intelligent, respectful dialogue is welcome and encouraged.