#same fears same problems and extra stuff that added over the years

[kaiserkisser]

oh my god what the actual hell was kid me up to?????????????

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

[jenoismydad]

2 + 3 = You In Me

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Pairing: Tutor!Jaemin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Smut (pwp), Slight Angst, College AU

Words: 4.6k+

Warnings: 18+ content. Unprotected sex.

Synopsis: He agrees to tutor you and you end up becoming good friends even though you both so clearly want to be more. What happens when you let you bodies talk for you?

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Jaemin was coming over to help you prepare for a test. You had no clue how he'd agreed to assist you, but you were thankful nonetheless. Jaemin rarely ever studied with girls. Mostly because they were always hitting on him. But it seemed you were an exception. You wondered why but you figured it was because he was trying to make some extra money.

Yes, Jaemin made you pay him. He made everyone pay him so you didn't think too much of it. From what you'd heard, his methods never failed to prove effective. You hoped he could help you study well enough to pass this test. After all, a majority of your grade depended on it.

You'd spent a good amount of your time trying to prepare a nice study space for you both to sit at in your apartment. So far you'd only managed to clean your coffee table and place two cushions for seats at its feet.

Jaemin would be here any minute. You rushed to get everything you'd need for the day, wanting to keep it all ready so that you wouldn't have to interrupt the study session. Your bell rang not soon after. He was here on time.

Opening the door, you welcomed him with a smile. He nodded and entered without a word. Black track pants and a plain white shirt. Jaemin hadn't made much of an effort to dress to impress. He ventured into your dorm, looking around the place silently.

That's when he came across your makeshift study zone. He pointed at it and looked at you.

"We're studying here," he asked, placing his hands in his pockets. He sounded a tad bit dejected. Your eyes widened slightly in panic. Was he not comfortable with sitting on the floor? "Yeah, I figured. Is there a problem," you asked, fearing the worst for no reason. Jaemin shook his head. "Nope, I just thought we were gonna sit in your room. That's where most of the girls take me anyways," he revealed, flashing you a small grin. You immediately felt at ease.

"My room's kind of a mess at the moment," you admitted, joining him near your couch. He took a seat on the floor, placing the cushion behind his back instead. He cleaned his black-rimmed glasses and patted the space next to himself. "Let's get started."

Jaemin was a pro at breaking down the complex concept so that your pea-sized brain could understand it to the fullest. The only drawback with that method was that it took much longer than you'd like it to. Two hours later you'd only finished one of the chapters that would be coming for the test. You still had four more to go.

"Fuck it's already three o'clock," you complained, falling dramatically on the coffee table. Jaemin flipped his pen in his fingers and stretched his body with a yawn. "I don't mind staying overtime," he joked. He'd made a lot of humoring comments during your time with him. The last you'd heard, he tended to be quite serious, never straying from his purpose. Not that you minded or anything, but Jaemin wasn't really meeting the expectations everyone had set for him in your mind. Maybe they were just trying to intimidate you.

"Don't you have to study too," you asked, turning your head to glance at him. He looked at you and shook his head. "I already studied beforehand. Plus, this test's gonna be super easy. You pass it with a breeze," he admitted. As relieving as that sounded, you didn't wanna take any chances. What if he flunked the test because he didn't revise or something. You really didn't want to be the person he blamed when that happened.

"You don't have to stay for my sake. You can go home if you want to. I think I can manage on my own now." you flipped through the pages of your coursebook, sighing in despair. It was a lot to go through. At least you still had half the day left.

Jaemin folded his arms. "Don't worry about me y/n. Not to undermine you, but I don't think you can get through all of this by yourself. I mean, you barely managed to understand the basics. All those chapters just branch off from this one and get increasingly tough to learn."

If this was him trying to convince you to let him stay then it sure as hell was working. You groaned and sat back up. "You promise you won't fail the test because of me then?" Jaemin chuckled. "Of course not. I'll pass with flying colors."

So you resumed studying. Jaemin was right. What he taught you next was more confusing than the first chapter you'd covered. You regretted not paying attention during your lectures. Jaemin never got impatient with you. In fact, he took ample time to make sure you understood everything he explained to you. He was very thorough and you appreciated that. However the more knowledge you absorbed, the more exhausted you felt. It got to the point where you felt like you couldn't study any further. Jaemin then suggested that you take a small break. You couldn't have agreed faster.

"Once we're done you should go through the practice questions that I emailed you," Jaemin reminded, taking a sip of the soda you'd offered him. You gave him a thumbs up and fell on the ground. "You're a lifesaver Na Jaemin."

Jaemin chuckled and turned to you. "I'm guessing it's not just math that you're having a problem with."

You raised your head and narrowed your eyes at him. "Nicely deduced."

"We can get together to study together for your other subjects if you don't mind. No need to pay me either," he offered.

You furrowed your brows. "Jaemin the longer you spend teaching me the dumber you're gonna get."

He brushed you off. "I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that."

"You never know, and besides, after today you should know that it's gonna take five hundred years to clear all my concepts. Do you even have that kind of time?"

Jaemin tilted his soda can at you. "You'd be surprised at how much free time I have on my hands."

You smiled. "Wait so you're actually agreed to be my personal tutor."

Jaemin rolled his eyes amusedly. "It was my proposition but yes. I wouldn't be your personal tutor though. Just a study partner."

You sat up and leaned back. "So like, studying in the library after class and stuff like that?"

He nodded. "If the library's closed we can come here or I can take you to my place."

You pursed your lips, considering his deal. But something paused your train of thoughts. "Wait a minute. Why are you asking me this all of a sudden? You hardly seem like the type of guy who'd study with someone else."

Jaemin downed his drink, wincing at the fizziness that clawed at his throat. "I've had fun studying with you so far. Like, you're genuinely dumb, unlike some other people I tutor who just pretend to be dumb so they can spend a few hours with me."

You raised a brow. Had he just called you dumb? "I'll try not to take offense, thank you very much."

Jaemin apologized with a laugh.

"Does it make you feel smarter in some type of way," you asked? Jaemin hummed in response. "It kinda does now that you mention it. But I also feel like it would help me revise and clear my own concepts at the same time."

That made sense. "Damn, and here I was thinking you wanted to do this cause you were interested in me."

Jaemin's eyes widened. You raised your hands in defense. "It's just a joke. Don't take it seriously," you assured. Jaemin relaxed at that.

"Let's get started again. We're almost halfway there," he said, changing the topic. You agreed and sat beside him again, pen in hand, ready to go.

_

You walked out of your lecture with a bright smile on your face and headed straight to the library. Sure enough, Jaemin was already sitting there, waiting for you patiently. You sent him a small wave and skipped over to him. Handing him your graded test paper, you watched excitedly as his eyes lit up.

"Oh my god. You passed!"

You squealed and sat next to him, placing your bag near your feet. Jaemin smiled up at you. "This is such a good score," he added, glad that he'd been able to help.

"Henceforth we're studying together for every single test. I don't care if you're sick or at a friend's house."

Jaemin laughed and nodded. "Sure thing. If it means seeing you this happy then I'm down."

You froze at his words, glancing towards him. He clearly didn't seem to realize what he'd just said. Maybe you'd heard wrong. It was possible. After all, he was whispering. You didn't exactly have the best track record when it came to listening anyways. Concluding that you were mistaken, you pulled out your books and got to finishing up your assignments.

A few hours later Jaemin and you exited the library. You both usually parted ways since your dorms were in the opposite direction. However today, Jaemin followed behind you.

"What are you doing," you asked when he jogged up next to you. "We should celebrate your achievement today," he suggested. That sounded nice. "Okay then, what do you propose we should do?"

Jaemin pondered on your question. "Let's go to the cafe. I'll buy you coffee and anything else you want."

Coffee was perfect. You nodded and agreed. Jaemin grinned and led you to a small cafe that was just a little outside campus.

You both entered the small shop, the tantalizing scent of coffee hitting your senses immediately. Even though it was almost lunchtime, the cafe was brimming with multitudes of students. Luckily, the queue was short.

"Go find us somewhere nice to sit. I'll buy us some drinks," Jaemin said, pulling out his phone. Before you left, you let him know what you'd like.

Venturing to the back of the cafe, you found a secluded booth for two. It faced a large window, one that gave a fantastic view of the campus. You took a seat and placed your bag next to you. After a couple minutes of waiting, Jaemin emerged with your drinks in hand. He handed you yours before sitting down.

"Iced Americano? I see you're into the classics," you chimed, deciding to spark up a conversation. Jaemin took a sip of his drink. "Simple is the best after all."

Of course, it was. "Hey Jaemin," you started, setting your drink down on the table. He hummed. "Do you wanna come over later today," you asked. Jaemin furrowed his brows. "But we already finished studying."

You shook your head. "Not to study. Let's hang out, maybe watch a movie or something like that."

He seemed a bit taken aback, but nothing too alarming. It was just that you two never really did anything other than study together. Sure enough, you'd become close because of it. But you figured as friends, there were other things you could engage in to pass the time.

"Let's do it. What time should I come over," Jaemin asked? "Does seven work for you? I'll order pizza, so you don't need to worry about dinner."

Jaemin nodded. "Seven works for me."

_

As soon as the clock struck seven, there was a knock on your door. The ever punctual Jaemin would never be a second late. You let him in, eager to get your night started. He walked into your dorm and went straight to your room, plopping down on your bed as if it were his own.

You'd already been browsing on Netflix, wondering what genre he liked. It had never come up in conversation before so you didn't really know.

"What are we watching," he asked, scrolling through the options. You shrugged and joined him on your bed. "I'm not sure. I didn't know what you like," you admitted.

"I usually just watch whatever's in the top ten or 'new this week'," he shared. He stopped at a movie you would never have believed he'd be interested in.

"You wanna watch Yes Day," you asked in disbelief? Jaemin giggled and nodded innocently. "It looks super lame but I've already finished watching everything," he revealed. Here you were thinking you both would watch something more serious instead of a family movie. Instead of spending forty minutes trying to settle on one movie, you decided it best to just go with the first choice.

Jaemin started the movie and leaned back beside you. It was quiet between you both for the most part. You watched the movie in silence. It wasn't as entertaining as you'd thought it would be, but Jaemin seemed to be engrossed in it so you chose to say nothing and continued staring at the screen.

Halfway into the movie, Jaemin stifled a yawn and fell to the side, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He looked at you and pointed to the screen. "Are we gonna keep watching this?"

You let out a breath of relief and exited out of the movie once and for all. "If you didn't like it why'd you make me watch it," you complained, shutting your laptop. Jaemin sat up and crossed his legs. "I thought you were enjoying it. You even laughed at the funny parts."

You stuck your chin out. "You should know what my fake laugh sounds like by now Jaemin." He raised his hands in defense. "The only time I hear you laugh is when you realize you're doing something wrong."

You tsked. "That's called nervous laughter genius. You suck at interpreting emotions."

He hit you with a pillow softly. "Hey, stop making me out for a robot."

"You're the human embodiment of the AI," you joked, dodging the pillow he swung at you. Raising your hands in defense, you shielded yourself from him. "At least I said you're intelligent."

Jaemin paused his attacks. "You're lucky I think you're cute. I'll let you off the hook for now."

You had another one of those moments where you froze, wondering if the words that had come out of his mouth were true or not. He didn't whisper this time. You'd heard everything word for word. But you couldn't believe it.

"Did you just call me cute?"

Jaemin nodded, not seeming too surprised about it. "You aren't not cute," he added. Maybe you were misinterpreting the meaning behind it. Friends called friends cute. It was normal. That didn't mean that they liked each other, did it?

Noticing the conflict in your expression, Jaemin leaned forward and cleared his throat. "I didn't mean it in an 'I have a crush on you' type of way."

Something about that made your stomach churn. You felt uneasy all of a sudden. You wanted to be relieved, that he didn't think of you as more than a friend. But a part of you wished he felt otherwise. You didn't know why, it just did.

You chuckled awkwardly and faced him. "Yeah, of course, you didn't. I don't know why I thought that."

Jaemin hummed and rested his chin on his palm. "Maybe because you wanted it to be true."

"Huh?"

"Maybe you wanted me to tell you that I like you."

You didn't know what to say to that. So you just smiled awkwardly. "But you don't, do you?"

Jaemin grinned. "Do you want me to?"

"No! Of course not, why would I-"

"I'm just messing with you y/n. Don't worry, we're just friends," he assured, finding you getting alarmed quite amusing. You hit his shoulder. "Don't joke around like that. Who knows what might happen."

Jaemin's laughter died down. He met your gaze sombrely. You knew he wanted to say something, but he remained silent. His eyes traveled down to your lips for a moment. You sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling giddy. Jaemin looked back into your eyes, this time with a small smile. You didn't know what he was doing. You also didn't know if you liked it or not. Your mind said one thing and your body said another. Jaemin subtly licked his lips. You had no clue why the action had such a devastating effect on you.

Before you knew it, your lips were on his. Jaemin didn't seem surprised at all. In fact, he relaxed and snaked his arm around your waist, pulling your body onto his. He fell back on your mattress, bringing you on top of him. Straddling his lap, you placed your hands on either side of his head, kissing him with vigor. Jaemin groaned against your mouth, the sound sending warm shivers down your back. His lips were softer than you thought they'd be and he tasted faintly of coffee.

His hands slipped under your shirt, resting on your skin. His touch felt fiery hot. You rolled your hips over his lap impulsively, biting his both lip as a throaty groan left his mouth. He squeezed your waist and trailed his hands down to your ass.

Before things could escalate, however, your bell rang. You both stilled, separating from each other. When your eyes met, you scrambled off of him and sat at the edge of your bed, completely stunned. Jaemin rubbed his face and sat up as well, not really knowing what to say. The bell rang again, snapping you out of your daze. "I'll go get that," you muttered disorientedly, leaving Jaemin in your room. He nodded and stood up. "Actually, I'm gonna go," he said, leaving your room before you could say anything. You heard the door open and shut soon after. Your bell rang again.

You went to open your door. A delivery guy stood before you, hands empty with a confused look on his face. "The guy that just left took the pizza with him. He said that you'd pay for it." You couldn't believe it. Nonetheless, you paid the man and shut your door. What had just happened?

_

A few days passed after the incident at your dorm. Jaemin hadn't called or texted you and in all honesty, you hadn't made an attempt to contact him. You felt too embarrassed to face him. After all, it was you who'd gone onto him. Even if he didn't push you away it wasn't like either of you had agreed to start making out. You were anxious because you knew you'd ruined your friendship with him.

A part of you missed him. You enjoyed spending time with him, even though all you did was study. Everything was so bleak now that he wasn't around to humor you.

You didn't want to regret whatever had happened that night. It was amazing. You just wished it hadn't ended the way it did. You should have understood that he indeed was joking. Instead, you mistook his prodding for sarcasm.

It made no sense for you to not speak to him. You wanted to make amends, figure out what had gone wrong. But you were scared he'd ignore you. That would just make you feel worse than you already did.

So you passed the days, wafting in your own misery. Pitying yourself as if the entire weight of the world had been thrown on your shoulders.

Little did you know that all it would take was another shitty test score for you to pick up your phone and call Jaemin.

"Help me study," you said as soon as he answered the call. Jaemin was silent on the other end. "Don't just listen to me. Say something," you begged. Your heart felt heavy. You heard him sigh. "I'd rather not y/n." You got goosebumps. "Jaemin, please. We can go to fucking library if that makes you feel better," you suggested, desperate for him to agree. After giving it some thought he finally answered you. "Okay fine. Tomorrow at three. But no longer than three hours."

He hung up, leaving you feeling a tad bit better. You looked forward to the next day. Hopefully, he wouldn't act indifferent to you.

_

Jaemin sat in your usual spot at the library. He was on his phone, leg crossed over his lap leisurely. You walked up to him and took a seat beside him without a word. Seeing you had arrived, he put his phone away and turned to you. "What are we studying?"

You took out your books and opened them. "This."

Jaemin glanced over the material. No wonder you'd flunked your test. He sighed, placing the textbook between you two. Without wasting a second, he began tutoring you.

No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't pay attention. You were too busy staring at his face, more specifically his lips. They way he'd lick them ever so often made butterflies soar in your stomach. He'd run his hand through his fluffy hair and adjust his glasses, letting your mind run wild. Jaemin didn't seem to notice your lack of focus. You figured he didn't really care. He kept glancing at his watch. It was like he was waiting for your time with him to come to an end.

Much to your dismay, eventually it did.

"I'll send you a picture of some practice material. You can use that to prepare better," he concluded, getting up from his seat. You quickly stuffed your books in your bag and ran after him.

"Jaemin wait!"

He paused. "What," he asked as he turned around. He sounded disinterested. "Can we talk," you asked? Jaemin sighed and shrugged. "What do you wanna talk about," he questioned, placing his hands in his pockets. "About what happened at my place last week."

Jaemin tensed up. "It was a mistake. I think we both understood that."

You shook your head. "I don't know Jaemin, I'm not sure I did."

He furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

"The more I thought about it the more I realized that I wouldn't have kissed you unless I wanted to. Not just that but you wouldn't have let it go so far if you thought it was wrong."

He seemed at a loss for words.

"When you called me cute, you did mean it in an 'I have a crush on you' type of way." You didn't need an answer for him to know you were correct.

"What are you trying to say y/n," he asked, sounding defeated.

"That I like you," you admitted. Jaemin's eyes widened. "And that you like me too," you added.

Jaemin bit his lip. "Okay, so then why were we acting like we hated each other for so long?"

You shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because you overthink everything and I'm a big pussy."

Jaemin chuckled and slung his arm around your shoulder. "I'm sorry about that babe."

You cringed at the nickname. "Don't 'babe' me. We're not dating. Not yet."

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "Does it really need to be that formal?"

You nodded adamantly. "Of course it does."

He sighed. "Fine. Will you go out with me y/n?"

You smiled and shook your head. "I'd rather not Jaemin."

"Yeah whatever," he said with a scoff, leading you outside.

_

As soon as you were past your door Jaemin's lips were on yours in an instant. He pushed you against the wall, wrapping your legs around his waist. You held onto his shoulders, sighing into his mouth. "I missed you so fucking much," he muttered, stumbling to your room.

He dropped you on your bed and hovered over you, staring down at you somberly before kissing you again. His lips didn't stay on yours for too long, trailing down to your jaw and then your neck. You tugged at his shirt, urging him to take it off. When he did, you stared at his chiseled body in awe. "I didn't know you worked out."

Jaemin chuckled at your comment and pulled your own shirt off. He flicked the tiny bow on your bra with an amused grin. "This is cute."

You nudged his arm timidly. "I wasn't exactly preparing myself for this moment."

He said nothing further and latched his lips to your neck once again. Running your fingers through his hair, you craned your neck to the side to give him more access. He gently sucked on your skin, not too harsh that it would leave marks. You sighed and fiddled with the waistband of his sweatpants. "Do you want it off," he asked quietly, lips ghosting over yours. You nodded, biting your lip when he pushed his pants down.

His member came into sight, making your mouth water.

Taking your hand in his, he brought it to his cock. Your fingers wrapped around his girth instinctively. Jaemin suck in a breath as he made you stroke his length. His hand slipped past your panties, fingers toying with your clit. You gasped and spread your legs wider, loving the way his calloused fingertips felt. Tightening your grip around his cock, you jerked him off earnestly. In turn, Jaemin began rubbing quick circles into your sensitive bundle of nerves.

Letting go of his member, you hastily pushed your pants down your legs. Jaemin peeled your panties off of you, marveling at the sight of your glistening pussy. "Don't just stare," you complained, shutting your legs, "do something."

Jaemin wordlessly, spread your legs apart and settled down between your thighs. He glanced up at your through his lashes, asking for permission before licking a stripe up your folds. You pushed your hips against his mouth, eyes falling shut when he repeated the action. Holding onto your thighs, he nipped and sucked at your clit, groaning every time your bucked your hips into his face. You gripped onto his hair, tugging at his roots. Jaemin's fingers prodded at your slit, slowly entering your walls. He curled them up, making your arch your back in delight. It felt so good. He knew exactly what he was doing.

With his tongue skillfully moving over your clit and his fingers continuously pumping in and out of you, it didn't take long for you to feel a familiar knot in your stomach. You sat up, pulling his mouth off of your cunt. "I need you to fuck me now." Your voice was hushed, breathless because of how much you'd moaned. Jaemin's eyes had darkened considerably. He pushed you down on your back again and pressed his tip to your entrance.

Jaemin felt bigger than he looked. Not that you were complaining or anything, it just took a while to get used to. He made sure you were comfortable before slowly starting to pound into you.

You grabbed his arms as he fastened his pace, head falling back in ecstasy. Shallow breaths left his parted lips. "You feel so good," he muttered, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His breath was hot on your skin. You wrapped your arms around his neck, humming in response. You were close. Jaemin could tell.

Gripping onto your waist, he went faster, slamming his cock into you as he chased your highs. You cried out his name, squeezing your eyes shut. Your walls clenched tightly around his length, your orgasm crashing down on you intensely. Soon enough, he twitched inside you. His thighs stilled, hips snapping into you one last time before thick ropes of his cum shot into your walls. He let out a pleased groan, voice deep and raspy.

"That was amazing," you breathed, pushing your hair out of your face as Jaemin moved off of you. He smiled and tugged his pants back on, joining you under the covers. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." Jaemin pulled you into his side, letting you rest your head on his shoulder. You laughed to yourself. "What is it," Jaemin asked. You shook your head, looking at him. "To think this all started after you agreed to tutor me."

◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦◦

tagging: @neosmutcollective @hoehousenet @kdiarynet @kafenetwork @nct-writers @ficscafe @whipped-kpop-creators @kpopscape

[robininthelabyrinth]

I'd like to see more of the Jiang Cheng has spider venom fic. Mostly because I want to see him bite someone else. How about a Jin?

Normal For the Spider - Extra: 5 People Jiang Cheng Bit, Some of Whom Deserved It

ao3

1 – Wei Wuxian

“So I’ve been exchanging letters with shijie on account of the whole theoretically banished business,” Wei Wuxian said as they strolled down the Qiongqi Path together, Wen Ning behind them making shy stuttering friends with the handful of Jiang sect disciples Jiang Cheng had brought along with him – he’d deliberately picked the friendliest and most social of the lot, the ones that acted like overgrown puppies and wanted to adopt everyone they met, and sure enough they’d mobbed Wen Ning like a bunch of crows intent on raising the poor little sparrow they found into a proper bird. It was no more than Wen Ning deserved, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion. Someone needed to socialize him, and clearly neither his sister nor Wei Wuxian were doing crap about it.

“That’s nice,” Jiang Cheng said. “If by nice you mean extremely suspicious. What about in particular?”

“Your family inheritance.”

“Is this about the summer house we have near that mountain lake? I told you, it’s been deserted for years and may possibly be haunted by something resistant to the usual liberation techniques, but if you really want to go there, you’re of course allowed…”

“That’s not the inheritance I meant and you know it.”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. He did know it. “What questions do you have now?” he asked. “More medical stuff from Wen Qing?”

She’d recovered from the venom very well and immediately started wanting to know everything. Recovered a little too well, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion.

“No, this one’s for me,” Wei Wuxian said. “We’re going to Lanling City in order to let Jin Ling bite me as a way to establish familial ties and let him ‘absorb’ good aspects from my personality, right?”

Jiang Cheng nodded.

“So in some cases, biting is an act of affection?”

Jiang Cheng nodded, a little more warily.

“Then how come you’ve never bitten me?”

“It’s only affectionate when you’re a baby,” Jiang Cheng said. “Once you grow into your childhood venom, it starts being dangerous, even to family; you don’t do affection-bites after that point. And when you’re an adult…well, you saw Wen Qing!”

“Eh, she’s fine now,” Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. “I feel like I missed out! It’s not fair, Jiang Cheng. I deserve a bite! I’m practically your brother! We share essential bodily organs!”

“Wei Wuxian! Don’t talk about that!”

“Bite me and I’ll stop.”

“I’m not biting you just to make you stop being annoying –”

2 – Jin Zixun

“What are you doing here?!” Jiang Cheng demanded. “This is an ambush! Is the Jin sect considering waging an act of war against the Jiang sect?”

Jin Zixun scowled at him. “Not against the Jiang sect,” he said haughtily. “Against the Yiling Patriarch.”

“He’s my head disciple!”

That got a confused sort of frown. “But you banished him…?”

“Rumor,” Jiang Cheng said, with dignity, the way they’d always planned. “Baseless rumor, that’s all.”

Rumor he’d never denied, and had instead implicitly encouraged so that people would leave his Jiang sect alone for a little while as he gathered up strength and resources to tell them to fuck off.

“But…” Jin Zixun hesitated. “You just – attacked him?”

Jiang Cheng glared at Wei Wuxian, still lying prone on the ground with his head in Wen Ning’s lap to elevate it and his neck bandaged but still a little red – surely the paralytic had worn off by now?

Wei Wuxian noticed him staring and gave a jaunty little wave, grinning and very clearly regretting nothing, which meant that the paralytic had worn off and he was just lying there to be comfortable while watching the fun.

Typical.

“A friendly exchange,” he said, trying to maintain his dignity. “Also? Not the Jin sect’s business. What about you? What did you want with him?”

“I want him to remove the curse he cast on me,” Jin Zixun said, and he strode forward before Jiang Cheng could stop him and kicked Wei Wuxian in the side. “You hear me, you bastard?! I want the damn thing gone this instant or else –”

3 – Wen Ning

“So this is going to be a little awkward to explain,” Jin Zixuan said, rubbing his face. He looked tired, but that was possibly a side-effect of having Jin Zixun as a cousin. “Tell me, why are my cousin’s flunkies – er, I mean, my cousin’s friends convinced that it was Wen Ning that poisoned him?”

Jiang Cheng scowled.

“No offense meant,” Jin Zixuan added, nodding politely to Wen Ning. “It’s just, you know, you’re very much not a Yu, or even a Jiang.”

“No offense taken,” Wen Ning mumbled, though to Jiang Cheng’s eyes he looked a little pleased, even if his stiff wooden face still didn’t do emotions all that well. “It’s nice not to be automatically feared.”

“It’s because Wen Ning punched Jin Zixun in the face at the same moment that I bit him,” Jiang Cheng interjected, because someone needed to answer the actual question. “And then Jin Zixun fell over and someone started shouting about corpse poison – even though he’s obviously turned purple! Purple venom, purple spider, purple lightning…what part of this thematic color scheme is not obvious?!”

“Technically, the livor mortis spots generated by corpse poison are also purple,” Wei Wuxian said, completely unhelpfully. “According to Wen Qing, it’s the lack of oxygen in the blood pooling under the skin or something, which is the same thing your mom’s poison does.”

“Do you think you’re helping?” Jiang Cheng demanded.

“No, not at all. Did I sound like I was helping? I didn’t mean to.”

“I’m going to bite you again, you little…”

“My father isn’t going to want to let Wen Ning through the door if he’s considered a possible threat,” Jin Zixuan said, wisely deciding to carry on with the conversation despite their bickering. “You know he’s been saying all those things about how dangerous the Yiling Patriarch is – this’ll just feed into that.”

“I’m not going to Lanling City without Wen Ning!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed. “Wen Qing made me promise! It’s his first time visiting such a big place, too!”

“I’m pretty sure Wen Qing made you promise not to leave him behind because she was worried about your well-being, not Wen Ning’s ability to be a tourist,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Doesn’t matter! I’m not leaving him, and I’m definitely not going to not attend the party, so you have to fix this!”

“I don’t know how to fix this –”

Wen Ning coughed lightly. “Uh,” he said. “Jin-gongzi…would your father let me in if I wasn’t a threat? Say, if I was unconscious?”

A moment of silence.

“…does venom work even on fierce corpses?”

“Of course it does,” Jiang Cheng said irritably. “It wouldn’t be much of a defense mechanism for a cultivator if it didn’t.”

4 – Jin Guangshan

“I didn’t mean to!” Jiang Cheng said, his hands over his mouth. “I really didn’t mean to! It’s Wei Wuxian’s fault!”

“How is this my fault?!” Wei Wuxian asked. He looked amused, which was never a good sign, and even less so given the extreme crisis of the situation. “I wasn’t even in the room.”

“You encouraged me to keep biting people as a solution to everything!” Jiang Cheng hissed. “It got me in the mood. I wasn’t thinking!”

He looked down at the unconscious (and swiftly purpling) Jin Guangshan and grimaced. There was no convenient Wen Ning to put the blame on this time: it had been just the two of them, Jin Guangshan and Jiang Cheng, alone in a room together. Jin Guangshan had wanted to have words with him, sect leader to sect leader, which mostly meant that he wanted to throw his weight and seniority around to try to brow-beat Jiang Cheng into doing what he wanted, except that wasn’t going to work because Jiang Cheng was prepared, okay, he’d worked so long and so hard to try to build up the Jiang sect until it could resist Jin sect pressure.

And he’d probably just ruined everything.

“He has legitimate grounds to declare war against us now,” Jiang Cheng said miserably. “Or maybe to demand that we hand over that stupid Tiger Seal he keeps bugging you about as reparations, or in order to keep him from declaring war…”

“We can’t let him have it,” Wei Wuxian said at once. “It’s far too dangerous. I’d destroy it, first.”

“But then he’d still have a reason to strike against us…”

There was the soft sound of someone clearing their throat, and at first Jiang Cheng thought it was Wen Ning but when he looked up it was Jin Guangyao, instead. He looked the same as always, gentle and personable and smiling, which struck Jiang Cheng as being unaccountably weird for some reason that he couldn’t figure out until he remembered that the man’s father was currently lying on the ground being poisoned and maybe Jin Guangyao shouldn’t be smiling so much.

“If you don’t mind,” Jin Guangyao said, “I might have a suggestion that would get rid of that problem…”

5 – Wen Qing

“…and long story short, Jin Guangyao is going to run Lanling Jin until Jin Zixuan is done having kids, which may be never based on the soppy looks he and my shijie keep exchanging, and we all have the Jin sect’s blessing to move back into the Lotus Pier,” Wei Wuxian concluded. “All’s well that ends well, right, Jiang Cheng?”

Jiang Cheng crossed his arms and glared, admitting nothing.

“I’ll be happy to move anywhere that has decent food,” Wen Qing remarked. “This damn place won’t even grow radishes properly, and it’s Yiling; the radishes should be practically growing themselves.”

“I’ve arranged for some farmland for your people,” Jiang Cheng said, because practicalities he could do. “There’s still lots left over from before the war, lying fallow, and some of the places are medicinal herb fields – we need people with cultivation to tend to those, so I figured that might work for you. You’d have half regular farmland, to make sure you can grow whatever food you feel you need to be comfortable, and the other half, the herbs, can be sold to the Jiang sect at profit.”

“That sounds good,” Wen Qing said.

“Especially since they’re medicinal herb plants,” Wei Wuxian chimed in. “You could stock up on medicines you need!”

“A lot of medicines have to be obtained through trade, you utter nincompoop! I can’t make medicine just using what a single medicinal herb field will generate!”

Jiang Cheng nodded approvingly, thinking to himself that at least there was someone else in the world who understood exactly how aggravating it was to have to deal with Wei Wuxian’s unbridled and illogical optimism on a regular basis.

“And as for you,” Wen Qing said, turning to Jiang Cheng, who blinked owlishly at her. “Don’t think I missed the part of that story about how biting people is a sign of affection!”

“It’s – what?! No, you don’t – that’s when we’re children– it’s –”

Wei Wuxian started cackling.

[nanowrimo]

3 Most Common Worldbuilding Mistakes for Writers and How to Fix Them

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. World Anvil, a 2021 NaNoWriMo sponsor, helps you develop and organize your characters, plot, and world setting. Today, World Anvil founder Janet Forbes is here to share some pro tips for worldbuilding. Don’t forget to check out the offer to NaNoWriMo writers for 30% off a World Anvil membership!

I talk to hundreds of writers every week, in our World Anvil Q&A live streams, our World Anvil writing challenges, and meetings with our professional authors. And mostly, they’re encountering the same few worldbuilding problems! Here are the 3 most common worldbuilding mistakes, and how you can fix them:

1. Mary-Sue Worldbuilding

You’re probably familiar with the Mary-Sue—a flawless, artificial-feeling main character. Mary Sue Worldbuilding follows in the same vein. If everything in your setting is directly related to your main character, it feels like the world revolves around them. It’s too convenient and artificial. That’s Mary-Sue worldbuilding.

Mary-Sue worldbuilding is usually caused by worldbuilding exclusively around your plot. Introducing larger-scale conflict in the backdrop of your setting, current affairs like civil or religious movements, war, disasters, or technological breakthroughs, can help expand the world beyond just your main character. 

Your main character might interact with these elements, or more usually, with problems caused by them. For example, they might help some refugees from “that war over there”. But your character should not be at the core of everything—they’re not the cause of the war. Other things are happening outside of your story, in the background. (Pro-tip: this is a great way to reinforce your genre and themes, and make your world feel alive and expansive, too!). 

Fixing Mary-Sue Worldbuilding Of course you’ll need a series bible like World Anvil to help you keep these current affairs organized, connect them together, and make sure you don’t lose your notes! Use World Anvil’s worldbuilding templates to get inspired for your big conflicts, and remember - you only need to write a few bullet points to start with! You can always expand more later (we’ll talk more about that in a moment).

World Anvil’s Worldbuilding Templates are custom-made by experts to help inspire and guide your creativity—and you can customize your own templates too!

2. Mosaic Worldbuilding

You know those computer game worlds where each area feels like a self-contained zone? Where the “desert” region and the “forest” region have no trade, communication, or overlap between them? That, in a nutshell, is Mosaic worldbuilding. It ruins suspension of disbelief, makes your novel setting feel false, and can pull your readers out of your story! 

Fixing Mosaic Worldbuilding

The best way to avoid Mosaic Worldbuilding is to make sure that you have a clear overview of your world early on, with each major region and concept penned out in just a sentence or two. That way, each region will feel like a connected aspect of your seamless setting, not a tile shoved on the side. 

On World Anvil, each world setting has a “Worldbuilding Meta” section to help you detail the 10,000 foot overview—the big stuff. And not just your physical world and its people, but your genre, your motivations, and your themes. This invaluable reference tool helps you expand your setting and add more detail, and will also help you sense-check what you’re adding!

Once you have a clear picture of your meta, and know the overview of your world, it’ll be easy to make use of cultural aspects like imports and travellers, cultural diasporas and geographical transition zones to make your world seem more connected and less artificially divided! And you’ll be able to do it without spending too much extra time worldbuilding. Which brings me to my final common worldbuilding mistake…

World Anvil’s Worldbuilding Meta tool helps you focus, streamline and sense-check your world setting! It’s full of guides to create an excellent overview for your worldbuilding project. This is the view mode of Manifold Sky by B.C.G. Wurth.

3. Worldbuilder’s Disease

Sounds nasty, right? Well, Worldbuilder’s Disease is a very common problem—a compulsion to continue worldbuilding things which aren’t actually useful. Here’s my favorite example—the “elven shoes”:

In your world you have elves. They wear shoes. So far, so good. Maybe there’s a plot-point where an imposter’s revealed because they’re wearing the wrong shoes. So you fill in a few details on your series bible. But if you find yourself writing a 5,000 word treatise on elven shoes through the ages… honey, you have worldbuilder’s disease.

I use shoes as an example, but it could be anything. It might be detailing three centuries of monarchy, or expanding unvisited areas in excruciating detail. Sure, it can be fun, but all that time spent on unnecessary parts of your setting isn’t helping you polish the core parts—or get your novel written! It’s distracting you from your primary goal. 

Curing Worldbuilder’s Disease

There are three major causes of worldbuilders disease: 

Lack of perspective

Lovers of prose

Fear of losing your ideas

1. Lack of perspective

Lack of perspective can often lead down a worldbuilding rabbit hole. Keep clarity on what’s important in your setting with tools like World Anvil’s Worldbuilding Meta. This helps you define your active worldbuilding area - not just geographical but thematic areas—which helps  streamline your world and your project, so you can be sure you’re spending your time where it counts!

Also, be clear with yourself WHY you’re worldbuilding the element you’re working on. Keep clear notes in your series bible about how this new element fits into your novel. If it’s little more than set dressing, you only need a few words. For a core concept, you might need more.

2. Lovers of Prose

As writers, we love to write (duh)! But for most of us, writing in prose in our series bible can cause serious problems. Not only does it mean that you write MORE than we should (your get in flow, words happen!), it’s also harder to reference your ideas quickly later on. Stick to short, organized articles in note form. Make sure the salient information is there, and link in anything relevant. You can always expand to prose later if you need to.

Keep your series bible in brief notes with clear headers! This character article took 5 minutes using World Anvil’s character template which automatically adds the headers. The linked articles help me easily reference related people and places as I’m writing.

3. Fear of losing our ideas

Fear of losing our ideas is actually one of the most common reasons for worldbuilder’s disease—that we’ll forget or lose our notes if we don’t write them out in vast detail. To combat this, make sure you have somewhere to keep your world details safe, organized, tagged and searchable. Then you can reassure yourself that you can go back and develop more later if you need it. 

Obviously, World Anvil is custom made for this, backing up everything in one place and linking everything together, so you can easily search, reference and update your series bible whilst writing your manuscript and not have to worry about losing things!

Anything here ring true for you? Or maybe you’re struggling with another worldbuilding mistake or problem? You can always hop into our live streamed Q&A sessions on our Twitch channel and ask us directly! We go live three times a week to answer questions about writing and worldbuilding, as well as helping our community with World Anvil queries too! Maybe we’ll see you there. And happy worldbuilding :)

Janet Forbes is a published fantasy author and RPG writer, whose recent credits include the Dark Crystal RPG with the Henson Company (coming 2021). In 2017, she and her husband created World Anvil, the ultimate worldbuilding and novel writing platform. World Anvil helps you organize, store and develop your worldbuilding and series bible privately, and market your books to the world too! The inbuilt novel writing software, accessible from anywhere, integrates seamlessly with your worldbuilding. And when it’s time to publish, you can export, or publish directly on the World Anvil platform and monetize YOUR way! Check it out at World Anvil.

[athetos]

What are some bits of Pokémon lore that some may not know about?

Oh man, where to begin… there’s so much to choose from. This isn’t so much lore as it is random facts but:

- the reason that the gen 7 starter evolutions leaked early was due to their concept art being created for smash ultimate. They knew they wanted to put one of them in the game, so they did extra art and shared it, where it got leaked. We will probably never see leaked concept art like that again.

- if you haven’t seen the space world leaks, check them out! They’re a bunch of leaked Pokémon from an early beta of Pokémon gold/silver. Lots of Pokémon were scrapped! You can see a baby meowth, a baby vulpix, and everyone LOVES beta wooper.

- junichi masuda, a prominent director for Pokémon games today, was originally the games composer.

- pikachu was designed by a woman! She said one of her favorite things was making Pikachu very cute but also rare.

- Pokémon designers get no say in the shiny colors of their Pokémon, or their moveset or lore. That’s sad…

- flygon was supposed to get a mega evolution, but Ken sugimori, the lead designer, couldn’t come up with a cool enough design. Poor flygon.

- the first Pokémon coded into the first game was Rhydon!

- mew was apparently designed AFTER mewtwo. This also sort of proves the ditto = failed mew clone theory isn’t true? As ditto was designed beforehand. Mew was added last minute as well! They had some space on the cartridge left over and decided why not.

- lugia was created by the anime director, who had… well. There’s a didyouknowgaming video about it. It’s a wild story. He really wanted lugia to be anime-exclusive and threw a fit when it wasn’t allowed, for starters.

- magmar’s Japanese name is “boober”.

Okay some competitive stuff now, that is fascinating to me:

- the most used Pokémon in ubers (the tier that allows most legendaries and Overpowered Pokémon) is Zacian. The most used Pokémon in OU (the next highest tier; the one most tournaments are in) is Landorus-T. And the most used Pokémon in little cup (level 5 first stage Pokémon only) is mienshao. Seriously, mienshao is everywhere. If you don’t have mienshao on your team you’re almost always going to lose.

- there is a way to get an Arcanine that can’t be damaged in a double battle. It’s very difficult to pull off. But essentially, it works by passing Shedinja’s WonderGuard to Arcanine, and then using burn up, which makes Arcanine lose its fire typing. It becomes ??? Type which has no weaknesses.

- most people know this even if you’re not a competitive player, but there’s a strategy called FEAR. It means Focus Sash Endeavor quick Attack Rattata. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Most people recognize the strategy but it’s so funny to catch people off guard with it.

- exeggutor used to be OU for red and blue and is now worst tier. Poor guy. He’s just horribly outclassed.

- porygon 2 sees more usage than Porygon Z, because when it holds a evolite, it’s stronger.

- it tools YEARS for people to realize body slam won’t paralyze normal types in red and blue. See, gen 1 was coded so that electric types can’t be paralyzed, fire types can’t be burned, ice types can’t be frozen, and poison types can’t be poisoned. But the code actually works by saying a Pokémon of that same type attack can’t get its status effect. Which, usually isn’t a problem, because most moves that cause paralysis ARE electric type. Except body slam, which is normal. And this normal types can’t be paralyzed.

- normal type was actually a really good type in gen 1 because fighting types sucked. They were weak to psychic (which dominated the scene) and didn’t have the best attacks. But normal is only weak to fighting, and since it rarely ran into fighting types, it was a good choice since nothing was super effective. Dark type was made to weaken psychic types and balance the game. Nowadays, I would say fairy and steel are the dominate types, steel is very good defensively and fairy overwhelms dragon types (which also used to be OP). The worst type… probably ice. It really doesn’t have many great options. Lot of weaknesses. Alolan ninetales is good because it’s also fairy and has Aurora veil, but most other ice types don’t really stack up.

[ellitx]

In honor of Father's Day, could we get some headcanons of the twins (separately) as parents?

Venti as a Father:

It would be really chaotic and a mess when it’s him watching over the kids

Just feeding them and bringing the spoon to their mouth like an airplane, and if one of his children happens to playfully throw the food to his face, it’ll be a food fight.

Of course, it didn’t last long when you entered the room and you see everything is so cluttered and dirty.

Venti can be strict with them if he has to but most of the time he’s carefree and lively with them. Often going outside to play, gliding, and maybe just a leisurely family time with you, him, and the children.

He’s not really restricting them but if they wanna play outside they have to ask his permission first so he’ll know where they are or so that he can watch over them

Venti likes it if his kids ask him to carry them! He’ll carry them on his shoulders so they can see the beautiful view of Mondstadt's scenery!

Or if he’s laying on your lap and they’re asking to be carried, he’ll lift them up and act like they’re flying in the sky. He’ll use his vision to make it really breezy so they can feel what it’s like to soar in the air.

When it’s time for dinner, he has to call for them. But the problem is they’re so mischievous that they even hide from him. It’s easy to find them but for the sake of entertaining them, he pretends he doesn’t have a single clue as to where they are.

“Now where’s my little sweetie hiding again? Looks like Detective Venti is starting another case of Disappearing Angel.” He takes his cape and flips them in the air for a dramatic effect and boy does he hear that stifled laugh behind the sofa.

He takes out his lyre and starts singing about the clues he had gathered and for suspense, he stopped strumming his instrument and stood still. Their kid covered their mouth to quiet themselves and it was unfortunate for them they didn’t notice their father was already behind them.

Venti’s hands slipped underneath them and hoisted them to his shoulder causing them to shriek and wiggle around while giggling.

“Papa, that’s unfair!!”

“Another point for Detective Venti~”

Aside from playing detectives, he’s pretty much dramatic around them if they’re playing house or prince and princess together.

“Oh, sweet child of mine, call the fairest maiden for I, Venti the Most Handsome, Charming, Powerful, and Talented Bard has fallen down because of the great dark dragon’s compelling attack.”

Your child first thought of you, immediately rushing to where you are and tugging at your sleeves.

“Mama! Mama! Help Papa come back alive! He said the only way to regain his powers is that you have to kiss him!”

You choked at your own spit, your face burning hot hearing another ridiculous idea venti started for you to kiss him. You didn’t want to disappoint them so you obliged and followed them to the living room.

There you saw venti laying down, his hands on his chest with his eyes closed, and sure you’d mistaken him as some kind of princess if not for your daughter asking you to help him.

Clearing your throat and readying yourself in acting mode, you kneeled down beside him and clasped his hands with yours.

“Oh, my darling Venti. All your power has been drained, the energy within you has been stolen by the greatest and fearful creature that has been ever lived. But fear not, for I have come to aid you by… by caressing you with a true love’s kiss.”

You slowly leaned forward and ran your finger on his face before closing your eyes until his lips brushed with yours. The tips of your ears were turning red when your child awed and watched closely, and for sure you felt your husband’s lips tugging upwards. His hand reached up behind you to hold you close to him and let the kiss last longer.

His eyelids flutter open, revealing the marvelous emerald orbs he has that were the same as your little angel, and he turned at you with clouded eyes, his cheeks beginning to tint with warm red.

“…more…”

Before he could latch his lips with yours once more, your child jumped at his back and cried,

“You’re alive! You’re finally alive! Quick, defeat the dark dragon before it destroys the castle!”

Venti almost forgot he was playing with them. All of a sudden, you felt your feet weren't on the ground anymore and in instinct, you held onto his shoulder and gaped at him. Venti's arm was underneath your bottom, carrying with such ease as if your weight was as light as a feather.

“Of course, my dear! Now that my power has been replenished thanks to this lovely maiden, I can finally stop the dragon’s outrage through the power of wind and freedom!”

His right hand glowed, unleashing a gentle yet powerful wind to knock down the mini dvalin stuffed toy that was standing in front of the blocks. The toy’s balance was gone, causing it to fall onto the ground as a sign the enemy’s disturbance was no longer present. Peace, harmony, and freedom were settled back to the small kingdom you, your child, and your husband had created.

Himmel as a father:

Himmel’s a househusband! Due to his frail body, he’s more inclined to work inside the house which he doesn’t mind. So all the cooking, cleaning, laundry is handled by him.

Househusband Himmel doesn’t really mind at all! In fact, he really enjoys it because he gets to watch over his kyut litol beybis playing around the house and spend time with them!

He knows you’re already home when he hears his babies screaming “MAMA!!”, it’s either a playful chase with his children on who gets to hug you first or he let them hug you first before he kisses you as a greeting of welcome home.

Whenever he goes to the grocery, he brings his children with him and they’re in the twin stroller. Everything is prepared; the pacifiers and two bottles of milk, and perhaps some extra diapers in case the line is too long and they need a bathroom break.

Himmel always takes a morning stroll and he also brings his babies with him so they can get that vitamin from the sunlight for them to be healthy. Don’t want them to risk being so unhealthy when they grow up now do we?

Maybe after the stroll, he stops in a nearby park to rest, maybe even allowing them to have some fun as long as they’re in his sight. Himmel will start planning on having a picnic time as family bonding on weekends so you can also take a break as well as you can get in touch with your own kids

While at home, carrying his two kids in his arms is no biggie for him. He can even multitask with it, though he prefers if they are in the crib just in case he doesn’t accidentally step on some toys and slip while carrying them.

He loves holding them and carrying them with him after he finishes the household chores! He’ll play with them, shower them with kisses, keep on telling them how much papa loves them and how he’s so happy they’re part of his life. When they run out of milk, he has to take the new supply you’ve readied in the refrigerator.

The babies will crawl up to him, stretching out their short arms towards their father because they wanted to be carried. Himmel chuckles then picks them up before making their drink. He hums a song while warming the milk and leaves small kisses on their head and nuzzles his nose against it as he waits

His little ball of sunshine is full of energy so he can be quick to get exhausted, but he’s trying his best to stay awake to make sure nothing dangerous happens to them. he lets them crawl up to him and play with his hair and when they also get sleepy and clings to him, it brings a smile to his face and holds them close to his chest protectively before laying them back down in the crib

Himmel may have taught them many things, from a simple reading, talking/cooing, walking, and maybe even singing. He has bought many things that can help them like rattles, squeeze toys, picture books, and also some stuffed toys they can play with.

Over the months, he’ll buy different toys for them so they can start the process of learning simple stuff like ABC blocks and even more plushies.

His kids love it when he sings or reads them a bedtime story. If you’re free, you and Himmel will reenact the story to maybe entertain them, and oh their cute little smiles and giggles tug their parents’ hearts.

Once they reach the age of three, Himmel is so excited for them that they can meet new friends. It’s the start of their preschool and he prepared everything. Now he’s the type of father who’ll take a picture of them every single year and some memorable moments to be added in the album

After school, he’s there to pick them up with you. All the mothers were gawking when he was standing near the door and looking for his cute babies. Perhaps he’s a brother to pick his siblings up?

Lol nope

Their jaws dropped when they heard a scream of papa from the running children. He opened his arms and caught them easily as they jumped at him for a hug. The mothers/guardians can’t believe Himmel's a father. Such a youthful face he has and having two children?!

He gives them a kiss on their forehead and asks how their day went. When he told them that mama was waiting outside, the twins immediately left their father’s side and ran out of the school to see you there smiling and waving.

“Mama!! Look, look, my teacher gave me a stamp that I did well!”

“I have five stars on my booklet!!”

Your eyes sparkled at their wonderful achievements and patted their head. Himmel stood next to you and smiled, admiring the wonderful warm feeling in his heart to see this growing family.

Kneeling before one of his kids, he whispered something next to them causing them to gasp out and looked at you with big curious eyes.

“I’m going to be a big sister/brother?!!”

You look at your husband with an astonished face and pout before playfully shoving his shoulder.

“That was supposed to be a surprise!” You whined. Himmel laughed and pecked your lips, whispering “I can’t help it,” before taking the hands of his child then yours. You take the other twin’s small hand and walked side-by-side with your husband and children back home

[petersasteria]

The Best Day - Haz Osterfield

Osterfield || Main || Taglist

Pairing: Single Dad!Haz x Step mom!Reader Requested? Nah. 2,572 words Happy Mother's Day to all x

Italics are flashbacks, bold is Christine singing, and [ ] is a 'video'. Thank you to @capwogers for telling me I should do mom!reader instead of sister!reader.

* * * *

When Harrison had his daughter, his first born, he never would’ve thought that his life was going to change. Suddenly his life was colorful and filled with laughter. Sure, it was hectic, but he loved every second of it. As if it wasn’t enough, he was blessed with a son five years later. His life was perfect.

As far as good things go, bad things happen. Harrison’s partner suddenly left. They weren’t married, but it seemed that way. They lived together and they’ve been together for a long time, but after their son’s second birthday, she decided she didn’t want to ‘play house’ anymore. It hurt him, but he knew he had to be strong for his kids.

Three years later, he met you. He was scared that his kids would scare you off, but it was the opposite. He watched as you tried to interact with them and he saw how his kids didn’t warm up to you. He frowned, but he knew that in time, they’ll like you.

Christine, his thirteen-year-old daughter, didn’t seem very fond of you. Meanwhile his eight-year-old son, Ethan, was the opposite. You two would get ice cream together and he’d always kiss your cheek whenever he’d see you. He was also the only person excited when Harrison told them that you’d move in with them.

You could still remember Christine being so mad about it. She was glaring at you and you told her, “I know I’m not your mom and I’m not trying to be her, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. I love your father and I love you guys too. No matter how mad you are at me, I won’t leave.”

And you didn’t. Harrison proposed to you after being together for three years. You both knew that you both were meant for each other and you knew it was going to be hard because you felt like Christine will never get used to you being around, but you were proved wrong when the day of your wedding came.

You got married on Mother’s Day and yours and Harrison’s mom absolutely cried so much because they claimed that it was the best gift they’ve ever received. Everyone at the reception was busy eating when the host, Tom, started talking again.

“Hi, everyone! I’m sorry to interrupt.” Tom chuckled. “But someone wanted to take this time to give their ‘special gift’.” He looked at Christine with a smile and waved her over to where he was standing.

“What’s she doing?” Harrison whispered in your ear and you just shrugged. You both watched as Tom adjusted the mic to Christine’s height and Harrison could see the fear on his daughter’s face, but when he smiled at her, her fears disappeared and she calmed down.

“I, uh, I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to everyone here.” Christine said nervously as she played with her fingers. “Most of all, I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to my dad because ever since mom left, he’s been acting as a mother and a father to me and Ethan. I also want to greet Y/N a Happy Mother’s Day too because she’s pretty cool for taking care of us when daddy’s busy.” She added as she looked at you with an innocent look on her face.

“I, uh, I have something prepared for both of you. It’s my wedding gift. I’ve been taking secret singing and guitar lessons for this.” She mentioned before looking behind her to see Tom lending her his guitar.

Tom stood back with Ethan and Christine started playing a familiar tune, “I dedicate this song to my dad and Y/N.” Then she began to sing.

I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides Look now, the sky is gold I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

“Nina, be careful!” Harrison shouted as he watched his little one run. Both of them were at a farm and he thought it was a good idea to spend some extra time Christine; just the two of them. Harrison knew that she won’t be five years old forever and he knew that once his son was born, he wouldn’t spend time with Christine as much anymore.

“Daddy, look at the pumpkins!” Christine stopped running and stared at the pumpkins. Harrison smiled to himself and jogged over to where she was.

“Wanna see the farm animals, love?” He asked sweetly. She looked at him with a bright smile and nodded quickly.

After a full day of spending time with farm animals and getting to pick some fresh fruits, Christine grew tired and it was then that Harrison knew it was time to go home. He carried her to his car and buckled her in her car seat.

Her eyes fluttered open slightly and smiled at him. “Go back to sleep, sweetheart. We’ll be home soon.” Harrison smiled and kissed her forehead.

“I love you, daddy.” She said before drifting off to sleep. He didn’t want to tell anyone, but he cried on the drive home. Those four words were enough to make him cry and he wanted to cherish them before she grew up.

Christine sang the chorus beautifully and you could see that Harrison was crying. You held his hand and rested your head on his shoulder.

I'm thirteen now And don't know how my friends could be so mean I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away And we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names

I don't know who I'm going to talk to now at school But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you Don't know how long it's going to take to feel okay But I know I had the best day with you today

You were feeling a bit sick and you decided it was best to stay at home. You still did work in yours and Harrison’s shared bedroom. It was only you in the house and you heard the door open and get slammed shut. Heavy footsteps were running up the stairs and straight into a room. The door was slammed shut too.

You took a deep breath and checked the time on your phone to see who was home at this time. It was Christine. Knowing that she wasn’t particularly fond of you, you braced yourself before going to her room to check up on her.

You knocked and heard a muffled ‘go away’ from her. You shook your head and knocked again and said, “It’s me, Y/N. I just wanted to check up on you. Are you okay? You sounded really mad when you came home.”

In Christine’s mind, she knew she didn’t have a choice. She needed to talk to someone and you happened to be home. Perhaps it wasn’t so bad, right? She wiped her tears and got up to open the door. You frowned at the sight and immediately pulled her in for a hug.

She hugged back and cried. She opened up to you about her mean friends and you just listened. When she was done, you wiped her tears and said, “My friends did the same thing, you know.”

“Really?” She sniffed and you nodded with a small smile on your face. “What happened?” She asked.

“We’re not friends anymore. It hurt a lot, but I got new friends and they’re way better than my old ones. We’re still friends up to this day. You’ll have new friends too, I promise you that. They’ll be better and your friendship will last.” You smiled, causing her to smile too.

“How about we go out? We can get ice cream and eat dinner. I can call your dad and tell him to pick up Ethan.” You suggested. Christine thought about it for a second and she nodded and pushed away her long blonde hair from her face.

“We can get a makeover too, if you want.” You added and she squealed excitedly.

“Daddy never allowed me to have makeovers.” Christine said. “He said I was too young.”

“Well, lucky for you, I’m not your dad.” You winked. “I’ll let you get dressed and we can go, alright?”

“Alright.” She smiled and turned to go further in her room. Before she closed the door, she called your name and you turned around. “Thank you… and call me Nina. Christine is too long.” She said with a sincere look on her face.

“It’s no problem. I’m on your side, Nina. Never forget that.” You smiled.

Later that night when you and Christine got home, the boys were on the couch and gasped when they saw you and Christine sporting your new looks. You dyed your hair while Christine had a new haircut. You even allowed her to pick out clothes that she liked and bought it for her. You never splurged, but you figured it was okay to splurge just for once.

“Why don’t you show Ethan what you got him?” You told Christine and she quickly went to the couch to show Ethan the stuff she picked for him. Harrison got up from the couch and walked over to you, “I thought you never splurged.” He joked.

“I never splurge on anything, but I made an exception. She was upset about something and I wanted to make her feel better.”

“By buying her stuff?”

“No, by making her happy and by distracting her. We window shopped first and she narrowed down what she really wanted. Then, we bought them. The things she bought Ethan came from her own money.”

Harrison nodded with a smile, “Thank you for making her happy.”

“It’s no big deal.” You shrugged. “I went through the same thing and no one was there for me. I want to be there for her.”

I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger

Christine saw the whole scene the night her mother left. She saw how upset and sad Harrison was while he carried her two-year-old brother. He turned around and saw Christine sitting on the steps.

He didn’t know what to say. “Darling, I-” Harrison was lost and he held back his tears.

“Are we going to be okay, daddy?” She asked as she cried.

He nodded and sat next to her with Ethan in his arms. “We’ll be fine. We’re gonna be okay, I promise you that.” Harrison smiled at her and put his arm around her shoulder. That night, Christine and Ethan slept in the same bed as Harrison, so he wasn’t lonely.

Harrison never knew, but Christine would hear him cry himself to sleep at night and she would notice the tear stains on his cheeks whenever he made breakfast. It was then that Christine realized how strong Harrison was and that she wanted to be just as strong as he was.

God smiles on my little brother, inside and out He’s better than I am

Christine took a long time to get used to you, but she noticed how Ethan immediately let you in without hesitation. He always tagged along with you wherever you went and it made Harrison a bit jealous that Ethan preferred you over him, but it made Harrison happy.

Ethan even helped you in the garden, something he never did. But Ethan’s favorite moment with you is when he would sit on the kitchen countertop and help you bake cookies for every occasion.

I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run And I had the best days with you

Christine stopped playing and looked on the projector to play an old video of hers. Harrison was filming and he laughed when he saw the video.

“I remember that video.” He laughed as he reminisced.

[“What’re you painting, Nina?” Harrison asked as he filmed Christine painting. He smiled when she looked at him with a toothy grin, “Flowers!”

“Those are pretty flowers, baby.” Harrison complimented. “You’re beautiful like a flower as well.”

“Thank you, daddy. You’re beau’ful too.” Christine smiled at him, causing Harrison to laugh. It was silent between them, but she broke it. “Can I be a flower for Halloween?”

Harrison chuckled and said, “I’ll see what I can do. I might need your mum for some help. She knows more about flowers than I do.”

“Otay!” Christine giggled and continued painting.]

There is a video I found from back when I was three You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you’re talking to me It’s the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarves

After the video, it showed a slideshow of pictures. The first picture was her on Halloween dressed as a flower. Every other kid was a monster or a superhero, but she was different. Needless to say, she went home with more candy than any other kid.

The next picture was of her and a one-year-old Ethan and that made Ethan scrunch his nose and cover his eyes. Everyone was overjoyed to see old pictures of Christine and Harrison with Ethan’s pictures in it sometimes. Then their first family picture without her mom showed up and that made you smile at Harrison.

“You raised them well without her, you know.” You said and he nodded.

“Thank you.” He grinned.

Christine continued singing and decided to switch up the lyrics last minute, “Daddy’s smart and Y/N’s the prettiest lady in the whole wide world.”

Harrison looked at you and chuckled when he saw you crying, “Now you’re the one crying.”

“Yeah, sue me.” You sniffed and wiped your tears away.

Christine walked to where you two were and Tom quickly held the mic for her.

Now I know why all the trees change in the fall I know you were on my side even when I was wrong And I love you for giving me your eyes

Christine cried as her mother yelled at her. Harrison got mad and said, “Don’t yell at her! She’s just a kid, okay?! It’s not her fault!”

Her mom huffed and left the scene to get some air. Harrison turned to Christine and said, “What did you do?”

“I was mad at her so I got her mug and broke it.” Christine frowned and Harrison shook his head before pulling her in for a hug.

“Don’t do that again, yeah? Someone might get hurt.” He said softly before pulling away and wiping her tears away. He stared in her eyes that resembled his and smiled a bit, “Wanna watch cartoons?”

“Yeah.” Christine grinned.

“For staying back and watching me shine and I didn’t know if you knew, so I’m taking this chance to say that I had the best day with you today.” Christine ended the song with a smile. “I hope you liked it.”

Everyone clapped and Harrison got up from his seat to give her a hug, “That was amazing, darling! I loved it.”

You hugged her too and said, “It’s the best gift I’ve ever had. Thank you, sweetheart.”

She smiled at you and said, “You’re welcome, mum.”

It was the best Mother’s Day ever.

* * * *

feedback is sexy

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐇𝐀𝐙 𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag @cocoamoonmalfoy @thatforgottenangel @parkerpeter24 @turtoix @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hotforharrison @chewymoustachio @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @yourstrulyamour @pearce14 @juliediggory @lharrietg @thevelvetseries @buckymylove @quxxnxfhxll @angelsgrxzer @more-like-reyna @caitsymichelle13 @aayaissaa @wannabemobwife

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[mcmactictac]

is wolfstar canon

Hello and welcome back to another episode of I analyze your favourite ships and let you know if they’d be canon if a coward wasn’t writing them.

I have read all the Harry Potter books and watched all the movies, I have not read All the Young Dudes but I have consumed lots of mauraders content so I’m really hoping all of these points I’m making are canon.

Let’s start with Remus Lupin. That’s a queercoded bitch if I’ve ever seen one. Now I’m always a sucker for queer coding within magical worlds, as there’s a lot of really subtle things to do with it. Now with Remus being a werewolf, there’s a lot to examine there. When examining queer coding we will ignore the shitty implication that it’s a disease that can be given to you by others because that’s dumb and Rowling sucks. We do not stand for homophobia in this household so I want to make extra clear I don’t want to imply any of that.

That being said, being a werewolf is a thing Remus is ashamed of and feels the need to hide. He hides it from everyone around him because he doesn’t want them to look at him differently. You also have to keep in mind the time period this would be set, being gay can be incredibly unsafe and life altering in a negative way. So he hides it to protect himself, despite the fact he is a child struggling with all this internal self loathing. The constant narrative of being a monster that just pushes you further and further into hiding because you have no idea what would happen if they found out. And eventually he finds close friends who figure it out and they support him, they want to help so he feels less alone. And yes he has this outlet now but it’s still a tightly guarded secret. Something he’s only open with to the people he trusts. His lycanthropy is a clear parallel to being gay and although I hate the implication that it’s a “disease” like. Metaphorically most of the things you look for in queer coding are right there.

You also have to keep in mind that Remus was literally never in a relationship and showed no interest in anyone until like the end with Tonks. And it’s pretty clear to me that Rowling threw that in so people would stop saying he was gay. I like Remus and Tonks and the dynamic they have but like. They seem more like friends, the age gap is weird, there’s no build up, it doesn’t make sense for Remus’s character and it’s just like. Not great? Tonks and Remus are great friends but I don’t really see them together romantically.

I’m going with the fact that Remus is just straight up gay. Tonks seems like a cover, and if I was a person who wasn’t a coward writing this, Remus and Tonks are both aware neither of them are straight and are covering for each other. It’s giving me very “let’s get married so you don’t get drafted to the front lines even though we arent in love” like people did during like the Vietnam war. They get along really well but Remus has no romantic chemistry with any woman ever. That is not a straight man.

Sirius Black. This is another fun one. Since the start of his time at Hogwarts he is marked as “different” from the rest of his family because he isn’t a slytherin. We need to keep in mind the Black family is very wealthy, has a high value on their reputation, and are basically just racist, homophobic and classist people. Difference is not accepted, and Sirius already starts out by breaking that mould. Now l honestly don’t remember how much of his interactions with Marlene are canon so I don’t know if I can argue that but like. Yes I am thinking about it, much like JJ, Sirius overcompensates with being a huge flirt with everyone despite having no real feelings attached to any of them. Throughout growing up he continues to break away from his family, and break away from their problematic views. Being raised in an environment like that instills a sense of fear around you. So even if Sirius knew when he was younger, it’s likely he denied it or never said anything because of fear. By the time he leaves he’s pretty much kicked out of the family. Through his school we can also see how supportive of Remus he is, trying to help him and make him feel as comfortable as possible. Giving him support and love he was never given.

If a coward was not writing this Sirius black should not be straight. I’m not certain if he would be bi or gay, but he for sure likes men. It would fit well and be interesting for his character and story.

So how do they work together? Objectively, really well. I’m going to look at this through a canonical lense, so trying to keep what I can of the story but adding these sexuality headcanons in mind.

Remus and Sirius were ABSOLUTELY together in school. I don’t think they were public about it in the slightest. But this is another gay person you’re close with, you care for who fiercely cares for you despite your family or your “disease”. Remus was totally out first, but just to the Mauraders. Sirius never really comes out. He probably tells James first, mentions it quietly one night after thinking about his family. He knows James will be ok with it because he was always ok with Remus. And James is supportive and never says anything, never treats Sirius any different. That’s still the man who is basically his brother. But he sees how Sirius looks at Remus the same way he looks at Lily. He knows, even if they never tell him. But if anyone were to know, it would be him.

They have the chemistry, the stories line up, they’re good friends and it would make sense. Because of the time period it’s quiet and guarded, a relationship kept from prying eyes. They might love each other but they don’t want anyone to know about their relationship because neither of them are really comfortable or ready being out.

Now after school there’s probably a bit of a splitting apart, knowing they can’t maintain what they had forever. The future isn’t made for them and they know that. And then James is dead, and Peter is killed and Sirius is in prison and Remus is forced to pull himself together and do the best he can to move on without them. Now if we were in a timeline where Sirius didn’t go after Peter, and him and Remus could potentially take Harry? I don’t know. They sure as hell wouldn’t let the Dursley’s take him, but dumbledore also isn’t going to just let them live in peace. They would have to go totally off grid, making sure Dumbledore never took him. The priority here would be keeping Harry safe, not on their own relationship.

Now after POA is where things get messy. Because you essentially have two years here before Sirius dies. Even though Remus knows he’s innocent he went 13 years thinking he wasn’t. That trust isn’t going to magically return overnight, he’s going to have to unlearn all of the wrong things he figured out over the past decade. And this Sirius is different. This Sirius doesn’t need a relationship, he needs support, love and someone to help him. And Remus is there for that. They both still care for each other but they aren’t at a point where they work anymore. They just appreciate the comfort that the other provides. Remus takes care of Sirius the way Sirius took care of him so many years ago. It isn’t about a relationship, it’s about love. That love for each other is still strong, and it’s still there. Nothing is going to change that, they’ll always be a part of each other.

So no I don’t think they got “back together” before Sirius died. Or even if Sirius survived, before Remus died. If by some miracle they both survived the war down the road? Maybe. They’d still have that tight bond with each other and over time and as they heal it might develop again. But no I think they only really “dated” in high school. But that love for each other never really went away. It’s still a huge part of each of them, and even if they aren’t in a relationship that doesn’t mean they aren’t in love.

So in summary:

-Remus is gay. His story is queercoded but in a homophobic way.

-Sirius likes men. It further distances him from his family and is something he has a lot of internal problems with

-they’re secretly together in high school. James probably knows but he never pushes

-post POA they don’t get “back together” but they are still fiercely attached and care about the other deeply. The lack of a relationship is not an indication of no love. They don’t really care about labelling it as much they’re just Remus and Sirius and they just. Need each other

-if allowed to survive till the end they may get back together

So I would say yes, Wolfstar is canon. We have nothing to prove none of this didn’t happen. They could have been together in high school and Harry would never know. And even if the relationship fizzles out, that love is always still there and that never goes away.

If you’re still here this is part of a series I’m doing, and I’m going to be doing this with a bunch of other stuff! It’s all going to be under #deathoftheauthorbirthofthemcmac so if you like this one I’ve got a jjpope one up and more to come!

[retroknightx]

hypmic headcanons

since nobody on my instagram appreciates me, i’m going to put them here, and it’ll be like a master post i can add onto that way anyway (which is convenient for me, because i keep adding on… yeah, it’s bad lmao. my notes document can only take so much) all of it will be under the line so you guys don’t just have a big ass post clogging your feed! to whoever my 4 followers are

starting with fling posse…

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Ramuda Amemura

He’s trans.

He has a superiority complex to hide his inferiority complex.

He also likely has a little bot of a god complex… Just a tiny bit… Not to the point it’d endanger his life, but to the point he can never admit he’s wrong (I suppose this can also count as the superiority complex).

He also has a little bit of a schoolboy crush on Dice… that has lasted far longer than he’d ever like to admit – not that he’d ever admit it in the first place – and he gets jealous over Dice.

He started his whole thing with girls, whatever it is, as a power trip, which also explains why he likes to cause so much chaos.

Since he used to smoke, he started candy as a way to stop smoking and it slowly replaced his smoking habit (as I have yet to see him smoke otherwise, but keep in mind I’m not far into the manga and mostly I’m going off the ARB story).

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Gentaro Yumeno

All writers are perfectionists (I’d know as one).

He’s probably very particular about the details and doesn’t like doing things without a plan.

He’s the lyric write for Fling Posse’s raps and does not enjoy making up lyrics on the spot; however he can if he must – This is also why he carries the book everywhere.

I honest to god don’t feel like he’s of this world and whatever his actual form is (irony in his rap name?), it scared Ramuda enough to create Fling Posse, so here they are.

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now for the dice ones… it’s gonna be long!

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Dice Arisugawa

He is, unfortunately, very oblivious to romantic approaches – especially from close friends such as his division members, for he’s been with them for so long that he can never imagine them falling in love with him.

He has abandonment issues/a fear of abandonment because his mother left him.

Speaking of his mother, Dice likely knows how to do “noble” things because he was raised by a politician; i.e. how to play piano and stuff like that.

Adding on top of that, I feel like Dice has an accumulation of many different skills from being all over the place – He learned how to do card tricks by watching others, and he probably learned bird calls from spending time with Rio.

He undoubtedly has ADHD (as a person with ADHD myself, you cannot tell me I am wrong)!

He’s well aware that’s he a leech, but he can’t stop himself because the addiction is stronger and he feels terrible about it; it’s why he often begs instead of anything else that would fit his character more.

He’s a very talkative person and often rambles to get his thoughts organized.

He doesn’t like being put into awkward situations or forced into silence because he is used the buzz of a casino and a busy city.

Relating to the ADHD canon, Dice puts his life on line not only for the thrill of it, but to keep his mind off of thoughts, and it’s also why he gambles; so he can focus on one thing.

He is numb to change because he’s a gambler.

He is very good at adapting to a new environment.

He doesn’t like being looked down up and that’s why he started gambling; to prove that he’s worth something.

He uses humor to cope if he can’t get his mind off of things with the thrill of gambling.

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Extras (Fling Posse all together)

Dice has weird limbs, so clothing fits him weird, and Ramuda started making clothes for them because of that.

Ramuda chased after Dice after he stole his signature parka and the Fling Posse star was embroidered on later by Ramuda after the formation of Fling Posse.

Ramuda likely pulls whatever strings he has access to to make life easier for his division members (not that it stops them from getting into trouble, that is).

Gentaro spends a lot of time away when writing and likely forgets he’s even alive during those periods, so his division members make sure he’s still taking care of himself when he gets like that.

They all piss each other off, but in a platonic love kind of way.

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moving onto matenrou! my favorite division <3

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Jakurai Jingui

Oh, my poor man’s so tired. He just needs a long break and a spa day; speaking of this, he likely doesn’t ask for help often – it’s the messiah complex he undoubtedly has.

His hair is too long for him to be taking care of it himself, and it definitely looks in fantastic condition, so he definitely takes good care of it – I just don’t think he takes care of it himself; I think he enlists the help of his division members (as I headcanon that Matenrou is in a poly relationship).

Jakurai’s matureness can sometimes get in the way of other things, such as emotional moments, and he can come off as cold or distant when he doesn’t mean to come off that way.

Unlike the other divisions, Jakurai wanted to really separate from his past, and that’s why he named his division Matenrou instead of reusing something from the past. He also probably doesn’t like talking about the past.

His hair is naturally silver, but the lighter shades that are nearly white underneath was caused by stress.

He gets cold quickly, which is why he always keeps the lab coat on, and it’s also why he wears a turtleneck.

Jakurai does live in the same apartment as Doppo and Hifumi, but he’s always so busy that he often can’t get there, so he ends up sleeping at the hospital; he also has a separate apartment of his own that’s closer to the hospital if he has free time, but he’s not off work/off work but still on call.

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Doppo Kannonzaka

Man, the first thing I thought when I saw him was that he has a choking kink. Enough said. He also likely has a praise kink.

If he didn’t have social anxiety and wasn’t so busy, he’d also probably be going over to Rio’s camp a lot. I think it’s because he’s so overworked that he doesn’t care about what’s in the food; as long as he gets it.

He’s probably passed out from exhaustion more than once and just got used to it.

Despite all his problems, he definitely wants to be known and he wants his name out there; he wants to be just like the other two and he definitely looks up to them already, but he aspires to be them.

He is so thankful for his divison members and he’s glad that they accepted him.

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Hifumi Izanami

Hifumi is a classic case of “fake it till you make it”; I really don’t know how he became one of the most popular hosts in Shinjuku, but it’s definitely about the fake confidence and the jacket is a comfort object for him that allows him to have that confidence.

He cooks all the time for his division members and he uses the catches from fish all the time, too. He even brings the lunches to their works for them.

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Extras

Since Hifumi’s always out so late, the others make sure he has everything he needs for whenever he wakes up and sometimes they wait for him.

They’re all in a poly relationship and I refuse to believe anything else; I mean, have you seen those “my room” dialouge in ARB? Fruity.

They probably all love to cuddle whenever they get the chance because they can’t do it often.

They definitely set up one day of the month for all of them to just be together.

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buster bros time!

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Ichiro Yamada

This may just be the Ichiro simp in me, but I think he has a very nice tummy that’d be nice to lay on; like a soft one if that makes any sense to anybody other than me.

He’s a very friendly person and if you’re close friends with him, he’s definitely loyal; he’d be willing to drop anything to help you kind of loyal, like he is to his brothers – all that, except the willing to die part.

I think he gets flustered easily and doesn’t know how to respond to compliments. That’s also probably the Ichiro simp in me.

Although he has to stop his brothers from ripping out each other’s throats all the time, he’s very proud of them and of their achievements, no matter what they are. He’s willing to praise them even for the tiniest things to make up for his absence in their lives.

He probably has a terrible sleeping schedule, but he could probably operate on pretty much anything. Two hours of sleep? That’s not an issue for him; he’s used to it.

He’s likely a cheapskate when it comes to himself, but when it comes to his brothers, he spares no expense if he can.

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Saburo Yamada

He has a superiority complex. I mean, just look at how he acts with Jiro – that’s enough proof right there.

He got into hacking and all of that computer stuff because it was interesting to him; he’s probably pursuing a career in it, considering just how good he is at it. I feel like he’d make a good white hat hacker that tests your website security, like Alma in Va-11 Hall-A.

Call him a library, because he holds grudges for years.

I think he just likes picking arguments because he think it’s funny and there’s nothing better to do when you’re stuck with your brothers (as somebody with a sibling myself, I can attest to that).

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Jiro Yamada

Anger issues. Yep, that’s it. That’s the headcanon.

Man probably goes dumpster diving to see what kind of treasures he can find; his room is probably full of that kind of junk.

He probably has greasy hair. It doesn’t matter how much he cleans it, it’s just greasy (as somebody with the same issue, go clean your pillows Jiro).

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Extras

Ichiro has to hold Jiro back from just punching Saburo all the time.

God, somebody save Ichiro from his siblings; with how much they bicker, he probably has taken so much ibuprofen to stop headaches in his life that he should be considered dead from an overdose.

Despite being assholes to each other, they all help each other out – Saburo helps Jiro with his work, Jiro helps Saburo with whatever he can’t do, and Ichiro takes care of the rest. It’s the only thing keeping their bond together.

---

mad trigger crew, my beloved.

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Rio Mason Busujima

Rio’s very stoic and that often doesn’t break, so it’s very rare to see a smile on his face. He has different smiles for different things too – there’s the business one; one so he doesn’t look as intimidating, and the actual genuine smile that’s very rare to see, but it happens when somebody appreciates his food.

Rio’s not good at understanding emotions and it takes him awhile to process emotions; he goes quiet in these moments and it can be confusing for those who don’t know him, but once he’s thought everything out, he’s very smart about responding.

He’ll never fully adjust to a life outside of the navy and military.

Opposite to Dice, he finds the buzz of a city to be too distracting for his thoughts and he enjoys his solitude, but he doesn’t mind company at all.

Due to how his unit was broken up, he refuses to abide by H law and keeps his gun on him. Even Rio can be spiteful. However, he mostly uses it for hunting, which is why he’s so far out in the forest.

He definitely has a lot of scars and that’s why he often wears his fatigues; he doesn’t wana come off as off-putting. His cards without the jacket did him so dirty. Of course he’d have scars from fighting in World War 3.

He can come up with strategies on the spot and is a very quick-thinker when it comes to combat.

Despite how ruthless he is when it comes to rap battles and being an ex-navy, he’s actually a very gentle soul.

I feel like he’s asexual, but homoromantic.

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Samatoki Aohitsugi

He only uses the bad guy persona as a way to be left alone, but he’s actually a very kind person.

Despite being a yakuza, he actually abides to the H law and it’s probably only because of Nemu (however, this is only based off of the anime, so I can’t say for certain, but I haven’t seen anything in the manga disproving otherwise yet).

I just feel like he eats a lot throughout the day. I can’t explain this one, but he has the vibes.

He also knows how to cook quite well himself, and he does it for his division members sometimes.

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Jyuto Iruma

He’s very cocky because he knows he can get away with things; I mean, he’s the authorties, why wouldn’t he get cocky about what he can do? However, it’s somewhat annoying to Samatoki.

If he wasn’t a gay bastard, Samtoki and Rio probably would’ve been arrested long ago. Thankfully for them, he is a gay bastard.

He likes looking good no matter what; it helps his confidence, so he dresses up to go out anywhere.

His glasses are probably just reading glasses.

He likes spending money on expensive things.

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Extras

Samatoki and Jyuto are in a relationship. They’re so fruity that I’m sure I don’t have to explain this one.

Samatoki doesn’t approve of Rio dating Dice at all and it’s only because of Jyuto that Dice is still alive.

Rio is pretty much their marriage counselor; he has to constantly deal with them bickering, so of course he is. He’s pretty much the adopted child to save their marriage.

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Ships

Riodice

Samajyu

Poly Matenrou

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i will likely make a separate post for the ship headcanons because this will be much longer, but i think this covers all of them anyway, so here you go. enjoy.

[amuhseen2003]

SANDERS SIDES KARAOKE: GOTHIC LITERATURE MUSICALS EDITION

Okay, so after four years of being in the Sanders Sides fandom, I’m going to attempt to write some headcanons. Here we go.

Since it’s well-known in fanon that the sides do have karaoke sessions, imagine what would happen if they sang musicals based on gothic literature.

Roman’s happy because broadway, duh, Logan is happy because it’s canon that he enjoys gothic literature since he dressed up as Frankenstein’s monster for Halloween, same reason for Virgil and Patton’s happy that his family is bonding. He made extra cookies for the occasion. He’s dangerous like that. 

(I headcanon that when Thomas had to write analyses of gothic literature novels for school, Virgil, Roman and Logan would work together to come up with stuff and write the best essays in class and Patton would be so proud of them)

I’m not going to count Les Mis because I’m not too sure if that counts as gothic literature and whilst the Hunchback of Notre Dame is indeed gothic (trust me I read that in a plane once. An entire, like, ten pages is dedicated to describing the scenery) I don’t think it became a broadway show.

Now this isn’t like their usual karaoke nights, no sir. Just idly remaining in the living room won’t do. Where is the gusto? The pizazz? The accolade winning extravaganza? The-

“We get it Princey, can you just get on with it?” - Virgil

No, this type of singing can only be accompanied with an atmosphere that will do it justice. To the imagination they go and with Logan’s (who has practically memorised every single one of these books and is not geeking out at all) input on how the novels describe each setting, Roman creates very intricate landscapes for each song.

When they sing ‘Alive’ from ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ Roman thought that it would be really cool for Patton to play Mr Edward Hyde since Hyde is literally the human id and Patton, being the embodiment of morality, is literally the superego (although to be fair, Patton is also shown to be quite childish and impulsive since he’s also the base of Thomas’ emotions and Hyde is impulsive because he’s a way for Jekyll to act on his own emotions - especially since the only crime that Hyde does in the book are him over-reacting with his anger by beating a man to death. And in the novella, Jekyll writes that he and Hyde are like father and son and that Hyde is actually younger than Jekyll is, he does have that sense of childishness that Patton has only instead of that childishness being good and helpful, it’s bad and hurtful. Plus in the soundtrack of Alive, whilst Anthony Warlow does sing about how good being evil feels like, he also sounds like he is crying tears of joy of being able to be himself, the first words post-transformation being freedom and anyways these are supposed to be fun headcanons not analytical headcanons so I digress…)

Anyways Patton is happy to play the villain because “look kiddos, Roman conjured up this really swell cape” “the correct term is cloak” “and check out this top hat and cane!” and he’s just belting out the words and froliking around Victorian London without a care in the world, making his cape swoosh in the wind.

“Patton I would advise you not to take your shoes off. This is nineteenth-century London with people dying of cholera by the dozens, your feet could catch a myriad of infections.”

“Worry not, specs, the scenery is merely an illusion. I would never allow for our dear padre to succumb to the villain of illness”

“Aww, thanks kiddo (cue Patton’s sunshine smile) now where was I? IT’S THE FEELING OF BEING ALIVE! FILLED WITH EVIL AND TRULY ALIVE!”

They have Logan sing ‘I Need To Know’ because a doctor of science singing about wanting to expand his knowledge and having that thirst to do whatever it takes to get said knowledge. That is a Logan Sanders song right there. At first he’s like “why do I have to sing. I was happy enough giving directions and helping you with the scenery” but Roman creates this big scientific library that could rival the one from Beauty and the Beast/ laboratory from that’s practically the identical to Jekyll’s lab in the book and he’s like “Fine” like he isn’t enjoying himself. He is. They all know it. He’s not fooling anyone

Patton and Roman sing ‘Bring on the men’ together (yes, whilst wearing dresses) whilst Virgil and Logan drink apple juice from those big british beer glasses in the mind-scape created Red Rat (which Logan is quick to point out doesn’t exist and is vocally upset at how the musical adaptation added unnecessary romantic subplots with Lisa and Lucy when the book itself only had three background female characters who were only there for like one paragraph. He’s even more upset at the other inaccuracies with the book like how in the play Jekyll creates his formula as a cure for mental illness and Hyde was accidental whilst in the book he did it because he wanted to indulge in sin without fearing the consequences and Hyde, whilst not being exactly what he wanted, was actually created on purpose or how in the book Hyde only kills one man and in the musical he kills practically everyone except for the one person he did kill. Virgil pats him on the back with sympathy). Roman and Virgil are sniggering at the sexual euphemisms at the end of the song whilst Patton’s confused. She just seems really enthusiastic about food.

Roman sings both parts of ‘Confrontation’ by himself. He gets a standing ovation.

He also does ‘Transformation’. The problem is that he was so good at sounding like he was in complete agony and near death that they had to stop the song prematurely because Patton was getting upset. Don’t worry, Pat gets lots of cuddles by Roman afterwords.

(You know what I might do some sides reacting to The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde later because 1. It’s my favourite book and 2. All four of them would have very interesting takes on it)

From the Frankenstein musical Virgil plays the criminal from ‘Say Amen’ because he wants to (seriously, the guy’s first words in the song are ‘I curse the day that I was born into a world so black with hate’) and Logan plays Victor Frankenstein but Patton refuses for his son to even pretend to be executed by the noose so they have Roman play a man wearing a british executioner outfit with a foam sword and the creative side just bonks the anxious side on the neck with it. Logan despairs about the historical inaccuracy from his place in the stands whilst Patton is cheering next to him. Patton also hands him an extra jumper to keep him warm in the Switzerland cold. 

“Patton, I am grateful that you are thinking of my health but no one in eighteenth century Switzerland wore bright blue jumpers with cartoon kittens on them”

“Really, Logan, are you paw-sitive?”

“I would like to change places with Virgil. Immediately” 

Roman and Logan turn ‘Birth to my creation’ into a duet because Logan enjoys the scientific aspect of it and Roman can’t resist the drama (of course). He goes all out. He makes Victor’s lab perfect to the smallest detail (and cheers when Logan’s eyes start lighting up and he does that cute clappy thing when he’s excited), he conjures a storm and makes lightning strike at the best moments of the song. He even creates a ‘wretch’ (what Victor calls the monster in the book. I’ve heard that it’s name is Adam but all I remember from the novel is Victor calling himself god and the creature his Adam) to lie on the table. 

“And we didn’t even have to go grave-robbing for it. Or drop out of University.” - Roman

“No matter how many times I wanted to.” - Virgil

Roman and Virgil do most of the songs from Dracula. The creative side creates this huge, expensive-looking window-balcony thing with glass double doors and billowing silk curtains so that he could dramatically sing ‘the longer I live’ whilst the wind blows through his hair and he dramatically drapes himself on the balustrade so that the light from the full moon hits his figure just right. Patton’s close to crying.

Logan is very eager to give as many facts as he can about nineteenth-century mental institutions for ‘The Master’s Song’. He gets really into the history behind certain treatments and different cases. Roman plays Renfield and the others play doctors. 

Virgil is super into Dracula’s castle during ‘Life after life’. He and Roman duet that song wearing all-black. Logan tries to help Patton’s slight fear by telling him the history behind different pieces of architecture.

Patton plays Christine during Phantom of the Opera

Roman, Virgil and Logan sing ‘A story told’ from The Count of Monte Cristo around a circular table in a dimly lit tavern. Patton takes pictures and drinks hot chocolate in the sidelines.

[selfwriting-sugarquills]

70 George Weasley headcanons in celebration of 700 followers!

A/N: I hate to repeat myself but I do still love and appreciate all 700 of you! Thank you for reading my stuff and here’s to 700 more! <3 

Find the 70 Fred Headcanons: Here 

George is well known to be the brains behind the twins’ operations. He sorted out finding the location for the shop in Diagon Alley, he came up with most of the names for their products, even if Fred came up with the idea for the product itself, and for the longest time, he was the one who sorted out sales and orders for stocking their wares as well as overseeing the owl post-service while Fred sorted the more practical parts.

It might sound crazy, but if you ask George, he didn’t actually like Fred very much until they were about eight or nine years old. George was a lot more quiet and emotional than Fred and frankly, probably feared his mother more than his twin, and so George always thought Fred was too brash for his liking. Eventually, as we know, Fred’s crazy ideas rubbed off on George, and he started liking his twin more and more until they became the inseparable duo we know and love today. Mostly this was because the two found out how well they complimented each other, which meant that whatever they got up to turned out a lot better than when they’d attempt the same alone. 

Fred added an extra oomph to their escapades, daring to aim just a little higher, and George was sensible enough to make sure that a little higher wasn’t too high. 

It’s only their older siblings who noticed this change and remember the times where Fred and George didn’t get along as well as they did, which is why Bill, Charlie and Percy tend to treat the twins more as individuals whereas Ginny and Ron are more likely to see them as a duo. 

Since George is more sentimental, he’s also the bigger worrier. Did they like that joke? Did that prank go too far? Is this worth it and what are we going to do if it isn’t? He’s usually also the twin who’s more likely to step back and apologise to anyone they’ve pranked or teased, not liking the idea of upsetting someone.  

This also means he’s incredibly considerate concerning relationships, he’s not afraid to voice his concerns and worries. If his s/o is struggling with something, he notices, worries and tries his best to support them. 

Essentially, if their s/o is upset: Fred is more likely to make a joke to make them laugh and take their mind off it, George is more likely to take them aside and talk to them about it, letting them let their feelings out for as long as they need, he’ll listen for hours if that’s what his s/o needs. 

Speaking of letting feelings out: It’s been pondered if the reason George is the better beater, despite Fred being the more brash and extreme of the two, is because he uses the quidditch pitch as an outlet for his aggression and considering his anger doesn’t just involve beating bludgers but also resorting to elbowing people in the face (or beating Malfoy up) I’d say that this is incredibly true for him. Most people share the opinion that if something angers George, he’d let it build up until he explodes (myself included) and playing quidditch is a good way to let off steam without it being directed at anyone in particular, making him extremely violent on the pitch, though after every game he plays, he’ll probably be in his most zen and relaxed state of mind.

I do also like the idea of George being very emotionally mature in the sense that he knows how his feelings tend to build up, and since George is also a worrier, he probably doesn’t like the side of him that explodes in people’s faces and yells until he’s done being angry, so: He does try to confront his feelings as soon as he feels them so they don’t get a hold on him. If he’s angry with you, he’ll tell you, if he’s upset because of something that’s happened he’ll tell you. If he doesn’t and seems all quiet and broody (cause he’s not a saint and sometimes he doesn’t confess his feelings) then it’s probably a good idea that you ask him about it. 

George is also not afraid to cry, or at least he’s not as afraid to show it as Fred. He actually cried quite often as a small child, as Fred will happily remind him. The only times George will hold his tears back is when he doesn’t want to make the people he loves the most worry, like when he lost his ear. 

He was so close to crying he thought his throat would split open but he kept it in while his parents and Fred were there; he couldn’t bear to worry his mother more. Not to mention Fred for that matter. Instead, he waited until he was allowed to take a shower and let it out as quietly as he could, though little did he know Fred was standing guard on the other side of the bathroom door, crying as well. 

George doesn’t want a lot of children, he’s so used to the large family dynamic. It’s not that he disliked having many siblings but he’d prefer to have a few kids, three at most and be able to spoil them rotten. 

George has only broken one bone. It was his collarbone from a bludger. Besides that, he has dislocated his arm once due to hitting a bludger too forcefully from a wrong angle and sprained his ankle from landing too quickly more times than he can count. He’s also been concussed from taking bludgers to the head twice. 

George is actually a bit of a neat-freak. He likes having things in order and in the right place so he doesn’t lose track of things. He can’t put too many things in cupboards because if he can’t see them he’ll forget he has them and buy more and more (cause ADHD, baby), so instead he keeps things where he can see them, though in racks and specific orders which Fred often messes up.

Generally, once they moved out, George was better at doing the housework and he didn’t mind at all. Doing all the housework means it gets done the way he wants it done. 

His favourite season is winter and his favourite holiday is Christmas because it’s “a time for family”. 

George prefers Molly over Arthur (though it’s a tough pick), and he especially loves spoiling her once the shop takes off. He’ll buy her gifts often and always writes to remind her how much he (and Fred) appreciate her. 

He’d never admit it but he also does this as a way of proving himself to her. It really hurt him in those years where Molly would disapprove of his and Fred’s plans and even when he found success he still grappled with the feeling of his mother not being proud of him, despite her telling him that several times. All this just added to his disliking of Percy when he was at his going through his insensitive-git-phase.  

 George’s favourite time of day is the evening. When everything’s quiet and still he can concentrate better. He wrote most of his essays and came up with most products for the shop during this time. 

George loves intimacy. He’s not big on PDA. Cuddling alone together, being all tangled up in each other and having whispered conversations when everyone else is asleep are more his thing. 

He does love being close to you in public though, he’ll sit next to you, hold your hand, have an arm around you, lean his head on yours, bump his knee against yours under the table if you’re in a lesson or at a meal together. Small yet intimate touches are George’s romantic love language. 

George’s favourite sweet is chocolate. Anything with chocolate is good. If there’s caramel or coffee involved too then even better, mint is also accepted (his favourite flavour of ice cream is mint chocolate chip and he will fight you on why it’s the superior ice cream flavour) 

George prefers tea over coffee and drinks AT LEAST two cups a day but can easily have up to four or five depending on how long his day is. 

George takes a lot of naps. He’d occasionally nap at Hogwarts, like most students. He really started after he lost his ear because Molly kept fussing over him and forcing him to go lay down and rest, then it became even more of a regular thing after the battle of Hogwarts when he’d stay with Fred at st. Mungo’s, while he got better, and then when Fred forced him to go back to work because “sitting here, is not going to make my leg work, now go make us some galleons you git!” he’d work the shop mostly by himself, well, actually completely by himself beside his employees, which was still a small team at the time and he’d often just have to excuse himself to go upstairs and take 30 minutes to nap before he’d pass out from exhaustion. 

George struggles with some sensory problems since losing his ear, he gets a faint ringing sound in his ear every now and then, and though he can hear out of his missing ear, it’s less than his other one and he struggles determining where sounds are coming from which is distracting sometimes. He also got a bit of vertigo every now and then as well as some nausea for the first few years after he lost the ear, it got better and better and today it barely bugs him, though he gets dizzy easily.

On the subject of the ear: George enjoyed telling his nieces and nephews (and heck his own kids too) these wild stories of how he lost his ear: he paid it as a toll to an ancient spirit to gain superpowers, it froze off on a particularly cold camping trip with their uncle Fred, a bludger blew it right off, he was possessed by the spirit of van Gogh…. the list goes on. 

George was also slightly self-conscious of his ear for a while, he often worried if people were grossed out by it, though with time he forgot about it more and more until he hardly noticed it himself. Now he doesn’t notice if others notice and frankly, he couldn’t care less if they do.

Fred and George mention in OOTP that they took turns testing products, George tested puking pastilles and ended up taking several days off because of what Madam Pomfrey thought was a bad case of the stomach flu, nosebleed nougat (he said himself how it kept bleeding and at that point he let Fred do more testing because Madam Pomfrey was starting to get wayyy to suspicious of him having some terrible disease that was thought to be long gone) and fever fudge though Fred also tried that one. 

George takes after his mother as a parent, his platonic love language is definitely cooking for his kids, making them hot cocoa and baking with them during Christmas breaks. 

Does he fuss over his kids as Molly does? Noo, absolutely not no. no way. no. no. (yes)  

George’s boggart is being left alone. 

Despite that, he hates it when people assume that he and Fred are interchangeable and incapable of being without each other. He loves his friendship with Fred, he’s very happy to be his twin but he’s still his own person and it would be nice to be seen as such and not just “one of the Weasley twins” 

Mostly his hatred of being seen as “one of the Weasley twins” stems from the fact that people always assume Fred first, meaning George has been mistakenly called Fred more times than he can count. 

George is very timid, to begin with, in any relationships because he’s worried his s/o wants him to be like Fred, and that they don’t really care about him as a person but see him more as an asset or “the next best thing to Fred” Which is also why he’d never marry Angelina after she’d dated Fred, even if it was just for a while. 

George spent his first salary from the shop on a gift for his mother, a necklace, and a mixed bag of sweets from Sugarplums'...He knows it’s stupid but he just wanted to buy as much candy as he wanted without feeling guilty about spending money for once. 

George is not squeamish what so ever. He has got a stomach of steel. It’s almost kind of freaky how unfaced he is but then again, he did invent and test puking pastilles and a product called you-no-poo, so he’s seen a lot.

George’s favourite dates are movie nights and going for ice cream. 

George (and Fred) regularly attends quidditch matches, they also love to go back to Hogwarts to watch their kids play (you know at least one of their kids would be into it, considering the Weasley’s history with the sport) and they always yell out their support v e r y loudly. 

George really likes wine. The older he gets he appreciates it more and enjoys talking about it without any knowledge on it at business dinners, he’s impressed quite a few potential clients and business partners by giving them a long tirade about wine, without a single thing of it being necessarily true. 

George (+Fred and Lee, lol) experimented with eyeliner for a short while, they stopped because it was quote-unquote: “too much work” which made a lot of their female friends roll their eyes because, oh you’ve no idea, do you, Weasley?

I mean someone had to test the wonderwitch products, right?

George is a very light sleeper, and since Fred is anything but that- what with his sleepwalking and tossing and turning- George rarely got a lot of sleep, meaning there’s a large percentage of his detentions in school that were solely from “inattentiveness” aka “falling asleep in class.” 

George always thought that if he really really couldn’t work with the joke shop, he’d be a healer. He doesn’t know if he’d be any good at it but it’s a nice thought and he does have a caring gene from his mother. 

George’s first sign of magic was when he was a year old. He summoned a blanket into his crib, so it wasn’t much. His first noticeable thing he did was three years later by blasting Fred off him when they were play-wrestling, he basically shocked him with a defensive charge which sent Fred flying onto his back. Fred’s reaction was sitting up, looking shocked, rubbing his head and then whispering: “cool!” They spent days trying to recreate it but to no avail. The story of the event has been greatly exaggerated by both Fred and George to their nieces and nephews. 

They still joke that George has a secret superpower that can only be unlocked by play-wrestling him. 

As George gets older, he requires glasses like his father, though mostly for reading and sometimes for working on products. 

George’s favourite genre of music is soft rock, he’ll belt out an 80’s power ballad any day (and preferably while cooking) 

Oh, cooking. George gets super into cooking and baking after the twins move out, he tries his best to recreate his mother’s recipes and is still to this day attempting to perfect her cornish pasty (a personal favourite of his) and every Christmas, George and Molly practically never leave the kitchen in the burrow, as George desperately tries to learn everything he can. 

George is the godparent of all Fred’s kids as well as Albus, Dominique and Lucy. 

George buys the best gifts, I’ve already touched on this, but he has a weird ability to get you not only what you wish for but what you really need. 

Also, his gift wrapping skills are out of this world (his kids + nieces and nephews will never not receive those gifts that are wrapped in like 100 layers of paper)

George loves pet names, he loves the overly sweet, cliché ones and the simple, common ones. His favourite to call his s/o is darling, sweetheart and, weirdly, pumpernickel (he just thinks it’s a funny word).

George’s favourite dates he’d take his s/o on is: museum dates, cooking for them at home, picnics and going to the beach. 

George actually kind of liked the Hogwarts uniform. It was easy to keep track of and it meant he could spend minimum time in hand-me-downs that rarely fit perfectly. 

George would love to have (and probably has already got) a dog, he doesn’t care what size or breed (but personally I can see him getting on well with a cavalier or a Stabyhoun) 

George (also) has a small size kink: He loves wrapping his arms around his s/o from behind, enveloping them in his jacket when it’s cold and resting his head on top of theirs. 

George is either full of energy and wants to do five things at once or wants nothing more than to lay flat on the nearest soft surface he can find and watch movies until he falls asleep. 

He often takes his s/o on random adventures, he does it as a way to escape boredom or if he’s lost his inspiration. He finds it helps to come up with new ideas if you throw yourself off your rhythm (if you get it you get it) by doing something random you don’t normally do. 

George has big John Mulaney energy and if his s/o ever showed him his shows, he’d probably never stop quoting them. 

George’s favourite body parts on his s/o: Neck, hands, lips (and butt) (this is where it gets steamy just fyi) 

George is very respectful in bed, he’s the type to ask “are you ok?” and “is this ok?” a lot, at least the first couple of times he’s together with his s/o until he gets to know them better. 

George def. has a praise kink, he loves giving praise but he also loves feeling like he’s appreciated and loved and doing a good job, you know? 

We all know George has a thing for lace, we’re way beyond that at this point. Consider silk, though. He’d totally be into silk over the lace, it’s a light fabric, pretty and really easy to tear away…. *wink* 

George is surprisingly good at opening bras. 

Generally, he’s really good with his fingers…

He has a pretty dirty mind when it comes to sex but is also super embarrassed about it so he’d only admit his kinkier thoughts when he really trusts and knows his s/o. 

I think he’d be pretty two-sided in bed, he loves the intimate, sweet sex but also the rougher, tearing-your-lingerie-off-you sex. 

He prefers receiving more than giving oral but it is by such a small margin, he’ll happily give. 

He can only last one round (maybe two if you give him a long break) but he’ll absolutely make it count.

George’s fav position is missionary. As much as he likes trying other positions, he prefers the intimacy of missionary. Plus he thinks being able to see your face as you unravel under him is really hot. 

[snootsnoot-fiction]

Cookie Dough

Characters: Mark Renton x reader

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: Mention of drug relapse and overdose, and a little bit of smut. Otherwise fluffyflufffluff.

A/n: Recently been made aware it's the 25th anniversary of the Trainspotting film and suddenly felt like using it as an excuse to write a Renton fic in celebration (I mean, I really like the 5x tables too). I ended up channelling some of my fluffy needs into this

Summary: You and your boyfriend start the weekend by baking together...

It had been a fun few months. Quite the rollercoaster actually. Scary at times, but ultimately fun and providing you an experience you'll never forget.

You went to Scotland for a well deserved extended holiday. A holiday you intended to be as stress-free as possible. 

Your family was quite well off. Not tremendously, but enough for people to assume you were a little too privileged growing up. They didn't know what it was like behind closed doors. 

You were the black sheep in a strict family. That combined with virtually everyone else around you either despising or using you for money, you quickly came to realise your only true friend was loneliness. Over your teenage years especially, a bunch of bad habits were tried out, but none of them ever really helped. 

Finally having enough, you just left. You didn't leave any sort of explanation, it's not like they would care, right? Even though your family were only known within certain circles and the city you grew up in, you decided to cut off a lot of your long locks to help people to not recognise you. It was time for you to attempt to live a normal life away from the people that controlled your life prior. 

In your casual clothing and shorter hair, you had made your way to Scotland - a place your parents never seemed to like. Within the first week, you met a couple girls that ended up bringing you to a group night out with their boyfriends and mates.

~~~

There was a brief introduction. You looked at each man in turn; Spud, Sick boy, Tommy, Begbie, and Rents. They all gave you very different vibes, but you didn't have time to think over them before suddenly Begbie jumped right into telling a story a little too passionately. Not that you were paying much attention. 

The way Mark had looked at you earlier caught your attention. The both of you occasionally looked at Begbie to show you were listening, but you kept looking at each other. The more it happened, the more you wished you were sitting right next to him. Something about the man just drew you to him.

Eventually, after biting your lip during direct eye contact, you made the excuse you needed the toilet and that you'd get another round of drinks on the way back. You acted as though you were desperate to go to help make them think you'd be a short while.

Not too long after you reached the bathroom door, Renton appeared. You made sure the coast was clear enough before the both of you snuck into one of the cubicles. The second the door was locked, the man's large hands were on your face as he pressed a hungry kiss on your lips.

Next thing you knew, one of his hands was gripping your backside tightly, using it to grind into you particularly hard. The feel of his own excitement grinding roughly against you had you hot and desperate. It was you that started the action of getting rid of pants. After that, you had the best few minutes of your life.

You felt amazing and a million times lighter when you left that cubicle and went to go buy that round of drinks for everyone.

~~~

Of course, you ended up spending a lot of time with them while in the country. Growing especially close with Mark Renton. While the meeting between the two of you was dirty in every sense of the word, that sexual tension wasn't on your mind as much as you expected it to be as you got to know the guy. 

You brought each other so much joy, it wasn't long before you realised you were actually falling for him. The pair of you ended up dating. Taking your time, but not too long, you also entered an official relationship. 

The only thing you did want to take your time with was admitting how you truly felt. You couldn't quite explain it, but you wanted to wait until the right moment to say it. Both of you had been through a lot, and those were some serious words. 

The first heartbreak you felt was when Mark relapsed. It felt like you hadn't been quite enough even though you knew these things happened sometimes. 

Throughout it all, though, you stuck with him. Supported him. Renton was aware of just how lucky he was, and he had to fight the urge every day to tell you he loved you, in fear of scaring you off. He felt lucky enough to have you with him still, even after relapsing, and he tried hard to make sure you knew he appreciated that. 

It was when he overdosed that you experienced your biggest heartbreak yet. To almost have lost him hurt you in a way you never had hurt before. When his parents told you they were going to make him quit cold turkey, you agreed with it. You hated to think of the suffering he would go through, but you knew this might be the only way lest he not wake up next time. 

Deciding it was maybe time to try make a start on your own life, you moved down to London, leaving a message with Mark's parents about where you were going in hopes he'd follow suit when he managed to get clean again. 

That's exactly what he did.

Now, you and Mark each had your own comfy apartments and jobs in London. The pressure of your old lives behind you. Naturally it took a little while to get over how things had been left, but you were soon right back where you were before - bringing nothing but pure joy to one another. 

Both of you happened to have the weekend off, so you had decided to spend it at your place. Your week had been particularly stressful, so you felt awful to begin with when you got home on Friday evening. 

Your boyfriend called, quickly saying he was going to be a little longer, but not explaining why. There was already a spare change of clothes for him at your place, so you couldn't help but wonder why he didn't tell you what he was doing.

It wasn't long before there was a knock at your door. Getting up with a sigh, you answered. Only to be greeted immediately by Mark grabbing your face and giving you a quick kiss before wrapping his arms tightly around you like he hadn't seen you in over a month. Your heart and body melted into him.

"I've missed you." He mumbled against your ear.

"We saw each other a couple days ago." Your words muffled against his chest, although you missed him too. Pulling away, the man held your shoulders as he looked at you in forced disbelief.

"Are you saying I'm not allowed to miss you?" He raised a brow. "No." He added with a finger to your lips when he saw you readying to respond. You both knew he wasn't serious. Letting go, he picked up a small bag of stuff off the floor and you closed the door after letting him in.

"What's in the bag?" You questioned as you followed him to the kitchen area. Renton didn't answer straight away as he took one item out at a time. You walked up to see ingredients to what you could only assume would be cookies. "Are you going to make cookies?" You questioned further. Mark turned to face you.

"We're going to make cookies."

"We're going to bake together?" You couldn't help the excited gasp. Baking together was always something you wanted to do with him. It was Mark Renton, so you figured it would be extra fun.

"We are." He, himself, couldn't help his excited smile at seeing how excited you were at the idea. You had seemed down when you opened the door, but that had apparently evaporated. 

Before you could say anything else, he turned around and pulled the last item out of the bag - an apron. Another gasp left you. You had one apron yourself, but seeing he had bought one himself only made the following events that much more exciting. 

The man threw his jacket and shirt off, allowing you a glimpse of his chest before he threw his apron on. Then all of a sudden your own apron was thrown at you, bringing you back to reality. Pulling it over your head, you saw your boyfriend smirking at you before moving to stand behind you and tie your apron. 

With Renton having no idea what to actually do, you took charge. It was when it got the cracking of the eggs that things really started to get fun.

Watching closely to make sure no shell fell into the bowl, you were completely unprepared for what happened once the eggs were in. Suddenly his sticky yolk fingers were on your cheeks and before you could react, he placed a kiss on your lips, chuckling at the stunned look on your face.

"Earth to Y/N, hello?" He teased after a moment, bringing you back to said Earth.

"...You got egg on my face!"

"Is there a problem?" Despite trying hard to keep a straight face, there was a small smile peeking through. You dipped your fingers - clean of course - lightly into the egg before simply wiping them on his face. 

"Not at all." You said, succeeding in keeping a straight face for now as you sorted the ingredients. Mark stared with a mix of confusion and excitement before helping again. Tonight was going to be fun. 

Before long, all the ingredients had been mixed together, and the both of you found yourselves looking down at the cookie dough thinking the exact same thing.

It was you who acted first. You acted as casual as possible as you dipped a single finger in to scoop a little out.

"Wanna try some?" You used the question as a guise, carefully lifting your finger up near his lips. He opened his mouth to say something, but then shrugged and kept it open for your finger. Smiling, you wiped the cookie dough on your finger all over his nose. 

Mark looked genuinely shocked for a moment as you giggled. Almost like a deer in headlights. After a moment, you unable to stop giggling, he started laughing too. 

"I love you!" The words fell out by themselves from his mouth. Now you were the deer in headlights. Your heart pounded and there were butterflies in your stomach. Realising what he had said, your boyfriend stopped laughing and looked around to avoid your shocked look. Then he looked at the bowl of cookie dough. 

Not bothering to hide his intentions, he dipped a finger in to swipe some himself. It took you a second to come back to reality as you saw what he was doing. 

"Wait! N-" You went silent as he smeared it, not only on your nose, but on your entire face. Now it was his turn to laugh as you processed everything that just happened, but suddenly you started to laugh as well.

"I love you too!" You laughed as you smeared the cookie dough from his nose all over his face. 

Neither of you really knew how to react, so you simply dissolved into fits of laughter until you could contain it enough to actually put the dough on a tray then in the oven. You and Mark Renton were smiling blissfully the entire time. 

A new kind of weight had been lifted from your shoulders, and you were completely, absolutely, and undeniably in love.

[bts-hyperfixation]

Window Pain

It was late. Well passed the time you should’ve gone to bed. Your parents had said good night hours ago. It’s not that you hadn’t tried going to sleep, but there was a lot running through your mind. You were heading off to college in the next few days and memories of this summer were keeping you awake. The most cliched, amazing summer of your life.

Every moment that wasn’t spent saving money for college was spent with friends doing things they do in the movies. BBQ’s, bonfires, beach trips, all of it. Unfortunately, some of your friends had already had to move on to the next chapter in their lives, Taehyung being the next to go.

He was due to leave first thing in the morning, you’d already said your goodbyes earlier that day. It didn’t feel like enough. He had been your best friend for most of high school, glued together. You’d taken all the same electives, a lot of the same extra curriculars, even the same part time jobs. Now he might as well be moving a million miles away. It was going to be beyond weird to have to branch out and make new friends, he was always better at it than you were.

After trying and failing to fall asleep for another twenty minutes, you hear a soft tapping on your window. Attributing it to a bird or a branch, you roll to face away and pull a pillow over your ears. When the noise doesn’t stop, you start to get a little concerned. You contemplate fetching your dad from the other room to investigate, but soon realise how silly you will seem if you wake him just to shoo a harmless animal.

Taking a deep breath you wrap your duvet around your shoulders and shuffle towards you window. Tentatively you pull back the curtains, shocked to find someone else staring back. The sudden scare made you trip on the corner or your blanket landing you in a heap on the floor, staring up at a laughing Taehyung. Recovering quickly, you unlatch the window, and he pushes passed you inside.

“Are you insane?!” Your voice hushed to make sure your parents stay asleep.

“No.”

“You’re an actual idiot, could you not have text me? I thought I was going to die.”

“Do murderers usually knock?” he says the question with such a straight face anyone else might’ve thought he was serious.

“What do you want Tae?” you ask, moving back to your bed and curling into your blanket.

“I couldn’t leave tomorrow without seeing you again Y/N.” he sits cautiously on the edge of the mattress. “Not after four years of this will they/won’t they feeling.” Too overtired to take in the full weight of his words, you just stare back clueless.

“Tae being your best friend, I can usually follow any train of thought you are on, but this time you’ve really lost me.” Your brows knit together in confusion as you watch him try to think of a way to better way to voice his problem. It’s so endearing to watch him think. His lips go pouty, and you can see every cog turning in his brain. He meets your eyes, and you can see the exact moment he figures out what he wants to say.

“It’s like that.” He is just pointing at you now, leaving you even more in the dark than before. You relinquish the warmth of your covers and shuffle to sit next to him.

“Tae, I don’t get…”

“You can’t not get it! You keep saying stuff like ‘You’re my best friend.’ or when people see us together you say, ‘He is just a friend’!”

“Did you climb in through my window just to yell about us being friends?” genuinely concerned for his mental stability now, you raise you hand to play with his hair like you always have done to calm him down.

“No, I just…. You just… you keep saying we are friends but then you look at me like that.” This time instead of just gesturing at your face, he places his hand on your cheek and forces you to meet his eyes properly.

“Look at you like what?” it’s barely above a whisper. You know what he is talking about. Of course you do. It has been blatantly obvious to everyone in your grade that you have been in love with Taehyung from the moment you met. You just never thought he had noticed.

“Look at me like… like you might feel exactly the same way I do.” His eyes are so full of hope. It would be hard to break eye contact even if he weren’t holding you there.

“I’m scared Tae.”

“Don’t think about it, just kiss me.” He presses his lips against yours. Its everything you ever thought it could be. Explosive fireworks and soft contentment all rolled into one. The kind of kiss that would make a girl’s foot *pop* if they were stood. The kind of kiss that shattered friendships. You back out of the kiss when the realisation hits. There’s no way to go back from here.

“I can’t lose you because of this.” It’s a genuine fear. The main one that’s held you back all this time. Why you never told him when you met, when you went on the school trip to Paris in junior year, earlier today when all you wanted to do was scream for him not to leave you. It took all you had to supress these emotions. If you were to go any further than this there would be no way to shut them away again. It’s either him forever, or never.

“You won’t lose me; you can’t lose me. And I can’t go to college without telling the girl I love that I love her.” The anxious twist in the bottom of your stomach explodes into butterflies. Every word you’d ever fantasized him saying to you was coming directly from him. Unless you weren’t having as much trouble sleeping as you thought. Before you get a chance to pinch yourself and wake up, he is kissing you again. Pushing you back onto the mattress and entwining your hands above your head. You’re not sure you could protest if you wanted to. He is far stronger, and your vocal cords have long since left the building. Luckily, you are exactly where you want to be. Content with anywhere as long as its in his arms.

His mouth moves from yours and trails along your jaw line, little whimpers falling from your lips in response. Something this simple should not be this sexy, and yet….

Each warm press of his lips against your skin sets you on fire. You long to touch him, run your fingers through his hair, drag your nails along his arms, anything, but he keeps your hands out of his way for now. It’s no secret that Taehyung has more experience than you. There had been the odd boy in your attempts to keep your feelings at bay, none of them ever made it passed second base though. Taehyung, on the other hand, had his fair share of cheerleaders and music girls hanging around him. its not something you guys had ever talked about in too much detail, but you were certain he had lost his virginity a long time ago. Like you said, Taehyung made friends very easily.

He finally releases your hands when he gets to the collar of your pj’s. you use your new-found freedom to bury into his thick curls, tugging lightly as he pushes your top upwards. You let go just long enough for him to take the shirt over your head. You don’t see where he throws it, too preoccupied with the fact his face was once again parallel with yours. Using the fabric of his shirt you pull his lips back to yours, using the momentum to flip yourself on top. He hits the bed with a small oof, caught off guard by your sudden assertiveness. You tear yourself away from him to take in the new view; his dumb boxy smile shining up at you.

His hands trail up your bare sides, cupping your breasts as he reaches them. His thumbs play with your nipples. Unconsciously, you grind down onto his hips. You feel his cock stir against your bum and can’t help but giggle at the sensation. You wiggle your hips again in hopes of receiving the same reaction. This time you are rewarded by a small escaping his lips. His hands leave their resting place on your chest and tangle into the mess that is your hair. He tugs you back down to meet him, shoving his face into your neck so he can bite on the sensitive skin there, marking you as his. With each rock of your hips, you feel him start to rock back. The friction added to the slight pain in your neck was amazing. You reach a hand down to play with the fly on his jeans. Before you get a chance to slide the zip down and explore further, he stops you.

“Y/N? have you done this before?” he brushes the hair back out of your face, the softest expression on his face, completely juxtaposed to the position you are in.

“No.” you admit sheepishly, suddenly feeling very insecure.

“Me either.” His admission surprises you, and apparently, it’s obvious as he laughs. “I could never get over the thought that it should be you. All of my first should have been you, but at least we still have this.” You nod and move to continue from where you left off, but he stops you again. “but not now.” You can’t stop the noise of protest as it escapes your throat making him laugh again.

“But you’re leaving tomorrow, and I don’t want to go to college without showing the boy I love that I love him.” you echo his words from earlier, hoping to gain brownie points at the same time as expressing how you feel for him. you’ve never been good at talking properly about serious feelings.

“I’m not going anywhere yet, I told my parents I needed a few more days here, I leave the same day you do. I want to take you out, on proper date before we go any further than this.”

“Fine but you are going to pay for the blue balls at a later date.” You kiss him once more before clambering off of his lap and settling into his side. He pulls the duvet over the two of you, shielding your topless form from the world and you find yourself drifting straight off in to the best sleep you’ve ever had.

A/N: sorry for the blueballs this was getting a little long

Feb request prompts - still open

Masterlist

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms Anniversary Special

Today on Fate and Phantasms we celebrate our 1 year anniversary! If it wasn't for all our fans we'd probably have given up ages ago, so we're going with a fan-picked character! (Don't worry if yours didn't get picked this time around, we'll hold onto them for another day)

Now we're building Romulus-Quirinus, the divine ancestor of Rome and King of Nation Building!

They're an Order Cleric to make civilization building easy, and an Astral Self Monk to make clearing the way even easier.

Check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet over here!

Next up: Fear leads to hanger. Hanger leads to hate. Hate leads to... pocky??

Race and Background

Despite ascending to godhood, you start as a Human, which gives you +1 Dexterity and Wisdom, proficiency with Religion for obvious reasons, and the Fighting Initiate feat for unarmed fighting so you can punch real good.

You're also an outlander because it's hard to be anything else before the country's built. You get proficiency with Athletics and Survival.

Ability Scores

Everything should be 40, but we're going with the standard array to make arguing with your DM a bit easier. Make your Wisdom super high for a better time ruling people and smiting them, follow it up with Strength because you really like that fancy gold armor. Your Dexterity is also pretty good, because that armor is optional. Charisma helps with ruling people too, so keep that above average. This leaves your Constitution lower than we'd like, but we're dumping Intelligence. You are by no means dumb, it's just the score that affects the build the least.

Class Levels

1. Monk 1: Starting off as a monk is pretty much mandatory so we have a martial weapon for the feat we just took, but this also means you start off with your first ascension's Unarmored Defense, adding your wisdom modifier to your AC while you aren't wearing armor.

Also while not wearing armor you can use Martial Arts, which lets you use dexterity instead of strength for your punches and you can attack as a bonus action if you attack with your main action. It also gives you a d4 martial arts die, but your fighting style is better, so...

On top of all that, you get proficiency with Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as History and Insight. You kinda are history.

2. Monk 2: Second level monks get Unarmored Movement, making you a little bit faster without the giant gold platemail. Aside from that, you get Ki points equal to your monk level per short rest, which you can spend to attack twice, dodge, disengage, or dash as a bonus action. You get something next level that is way more useful though.

3. Monk 3: Third level monks can Deflect Missiles as a reaction, rendering arrows and slingshots slightly less effective. You also gain the Arms of the Astral Self, letting you beef up your arms as a bonus action. Your anchor arms last for 10 minutes, and while active you can use wisdom instead of strength or dexterity to make attacks and strength saves/checks. You also get a long range on your unarmed attacks, and they deal force damage instead of bludgeoning. I'd love it if it was radiant, but force is kind of an upgrade, so I'll take it. The cool part is you can totally use this with armor, which will be useful in a bit.

4. Cleric 1: Oh hey it's useful now. As an Order Cleric you get proficiency with Heavy Armor, as well as Persuasion to make getting those pesky zoning ordinances in order a bit easier.

You also become a Voice of Authority, meaning that if you cast a spell targeting one or more allies, one of those allies can use their reaction to attack, because there's nothing more romantic than giving your all on the battlefield.

Speaking of, you can cast and prepare Spells now using your Wisdom. For cantrips, grab Thaumaturgy for religion funnies, and Resistance to make yourself a bit tougher than is reasonable. You also get the cantrip Hand of Radiance for a shinier punch. It's a melee range spell that deals 1d6 radiant damage if the target fails a constitution save. It's not as powerful as your punches, but it ignores armor!

You also get first level spells, and your freebies are Command and Heroism, great for when you need to build Roma from the ground up. Some other good city-building spells are Ceremony, Create or Destroy Water, and Purify Food and Drink.

5. Cleric 2: Second level clerics can Channel Divinity once per short rest. You can either use the classic Turn Undead to wig out any undead who fail a wisdom save, or you can issue Order's Demand to charm nearby creatures for a round. You can also force those creatures to drop whatever they're holding.

6. Cleric 3: Third level clerics get second level spells, like Hold Person and Zone of Truth. You can also use Continual Flame to make eternal torches, Calm Emotions to settle disputes peacefully, and Spiritual Weapon to not settle things peacefully.

7. Cleric 4: When you finally get your first Ability Score Improvement, bump up your Wisdom for a better unarmored AC, Astral Arms attacks, and spells. You really like wisdom, it's good to you.

You can also use Guidance to make yourself a little better than everyone else at ability checks.

8. Cleric 5: Fifth level clerics see their Turn Undead turn into Destroy Undead, instantly destroying undead of CR 1/2 or lower who fail their wisdom save. You also get third level spells, like Mass Healing Word and Slow. I'd also suggest Clairvoyance for a bit of omniscience, Daylight for the aesthetic, and Spirit Shroud for a bit of power building. It's fine, beating up a god needs power building, so it's in character.

9. Cleric 6: This level lets you Channel Divinity twice per rest, and you become an Embodiment of the Law, letting you cast enchantment spells as a bonus action instead of an action. You can speed things up this way Wisdom Modifier per long rest. Now you can hold someone down and slap the shit out of them in the same turn!

10. Cleric 7: Continuing the trend you've probably figured out by now, seventh level clerics get fourth level spells, like Compulsion and Locate Creature. You can also use Control Water to make your harbor more or less hospitable.

11. Cleric 8: As an eighth level order cleric, your Divine Strike lets you add psychic damage to one of your attacks each turn. Since this applies to a "weapon attack" and not a "melee weapon attack", your fists qualify. Yes, they are a melee "weapon attack", not a "melee weapon attack". Makes perfect sense.

You also get another ASI, which will let you max out your Wisdom for so many good reasons. Punching, spells, AC, they're all a bit better.

Destroy Undead also kills creatures of CR 1 or lower now.

12. Cleric 9: Ninth level clerics get fifth level spells, like Commune and Dominate Person. You can also use your Noble Phantasms on the offensive thanks to Flame Strike, or on the defensive as Mass Cure Wounds or Hallow. The former is basically a giant laser, the middle one is Cure Wounds But Multiple People, and the latter will turn an area into a great spot to build a city. As long as you aren't building a city for Celestials, Elementals, Fey, Fiends, or Undead.

13. Cleric 10: If you're tired of slapping people around with a hand of radiance, you can just use a Word of Radiance instead! It's literally the same thing as Hand of Radiance, but it uses a holy symbol instead of somatic components.

That being said you can also use Divine Intervention now, letting you call up your god (read: you) for a favor once per day. It only has a 1 in 10 chance of succeeding, but if it does the DM's the limit on what kind of help you'll get. After getting help you have to wait a week for it to recharge. You’d think you’d be willing to call in favors for you more often, but I’m not a god, so I wouldn’t know.

14. Cleric 11: Eleventh level clerics get sixth level spells, and sadly we're out of freebies. That being said, you could use Sunbeam for a reusable Per Aspera Ad Astra, or create a Heroes' Feast for a good time on the town.

Also, your Destroy Undead bumps up again to CR 2.

15. Cleric 12: This ASI will bump your Strength up, both so you can have stronger attacks when your Astral Arms are down, and so you can wear full plate armor without an issue.

16. Cleric 13: With the advent of seventh level spells, we finally get the only cleric spell in the game that actually lets you build a structure. Temple to the Gods lets you build a temple of your own design within a 120' square, and while it normally ends a day later, casting the spell in the same spot for a year makes the spell permanent. Honestly 1 building a year seems a bit slow for a city, I'd suggest just building them the old fashioned way. You can also use Divine Words to send extraplanar creatures back to where they came from, and you weaken other creatures with status effects dependent on how many hit points they have left.

17. Cleric 14: Destroy Undead kills CR 3 creatures now. Not fancy, but at least those skeletal owlbears will leave you alone. Also your Divine Strike is better now.

18. Cleric 15: Eighth level spells are always fun. You can now do stuff like Control Weather, cause an Earthquake, shed a Holy Aura to protect allies, or use a Sunburst to launch a big blob of light at enemies.

19. Cleric 16: Use your last ASI to become Tough for an extra 38 HP. The one problem with cleric; super squishy class.

20. Cleric 17: Your capstone level is surprisingly busy. Your Destroy Undead hits CR 4 creatures, and you can invoke Order's Wrath on creatures when you hit them. If you hit a creature with your Divine Strike, you can curse them until the start of your next turn. If an ally hits the cursed creature, they take another round of Divine Strike damage!

And that's not all! You also get ninth level spells! None of them particularly scream "Romulus" to me, but I mean you're a god, you can use whatever you want.

Pros:

You might only have one attack per round, but you really make them count. Each swing deals 3d8+5 damage per hit, and they deal psychic and force damage, two of the hardest types to avoid. And that's all before you get into spells to buff yourself like Spirit Shroud. It's not flashy, but it is consistent.

You've got a maxed out casting modifier and plenty of charming spells, meaning you're pretty good at controlling others.

Embodiment of the Law is huge, it lets you buff and debuff as a bonus action, freeing up your main action for direct support or combat.

Cons:

With only three monk levels, you don't have a lot of Ki to go around. You'll probably have to save all of it for your Astral Arms, as you're a lot weaker without them.

On a related note, multiclassing the way we did is also pretty awkward. The 20th level of cleric is super powerful, and if we spent two more levels as monk you could attack more often per turn and get more ki points.

Your constitution isn't great, meaning you can drop concentration easily and you're kind of squishy for a god. That's especially not good considering your main form of combat is slapping people in the face.

[david-talks-sw]

About the supposed “dig  at Rey” in the Mandalorian finale.

So a lot of people have taken to YouTube and social media, saying that Luke’s line about “talent without training (being) nothing” is a dig at Rey “bEcAuSe ShE’s A mArY sUe who’s good at everything and never trained!!”

No.

Quick recap: The Mandalorian is created by Jon Favreau, and he develops it with Dave Filoni (who created The Clone Wars with George Lucas, invented Ahsoka Tano, and created Star Wars: Rebels), among others.

As far as Dave is concerned, Rey is no different than Ahsoka, she’s not “OP”, she’s not a “Mary Sue”. He’s all for strong, independent, female characters.

He talked about this at the National Center for Women & Information Technology, you can find his full speech here. If you want to see the extracts specifically about Rey and female character in Star Wars, you can find it here (though I’d advise just ignoring the intentionally-triggering title and seeing the video for what it is).

All the backlash he saw about Rey? He saw it for Ahsoka too.

“Oh, she’s fighting Grievous and she’s only, like 13?! That’s so OP!”

“She feels like a Mary Sue written for a prequel based fan fiction.”

“Oh, she disobeyed an order from Yularen on Ryloth?! She’s so snippy!”

“Ugh, I hate her and her stupid voice!”

“She’s always pointing out stuff other characters have missed, like she’s so perfect! She's a Mary Sue with an annoying voice and personality.”

And honestly? I remember that period. People hated Ashley Eckstein and Ahsoka, just like they hated Hayden Christensen, and most Prequel-related content.

So no, that line is not a dig at Rey. If you expect that to ever come from Dave, big chance you’ll be disappointed. He is all for Rey, as a character (as am I, tbh). There may be issues with how she’s written, but none of it is related to her being too strong, or her being good at everything. Guess what? Captain America and Goku are good at everything too.

What The Mandalorian tackles, with that line, is a debate with bigger implications than just Grogu.

We get two sides of the same debate, from both Ahsoka, and Luke.

“I cannot train him. His attachment to you makes him vulnerable to his fears. His anger. I’ve seen what such feelings can do to a fully trained Jedi Knight. To the best of us. I will not start this child down that path. Better to let his abilities fade.”

“He is strong with the Force, but talent without training is nothing. I will give my life to protect the Child… but he will not be safe until he masters his abilities.“

The subject they really subliminally tackle is:

Should Anakin Skywalker have been trained to be a Jedi?

On the one hand:

Anakin has the potential of being the most powerful Force-user in galactic history, as the Jedi know it. It’s just a matter of time before he accidentally Force chokes someone in a fit of anger, or when submitted to extreme stress. He needs to be trained to hone his skills so he’s not a danger to himself and others.

Jedi Training would also help him get over the trauma of growing up as a slave on Tatooine, as it is aimed at keeping your emotions under control, whereas Anakin isn’t even acknowledging their existence (he pretends he’s not afraid in front of the Jedi Council, and seems to be the only person in the room to think that he should hide his fears). His hidden fears, his anger… Jedi Training would teach him to confront them.

Also, there’s a big chance the Sith are back! If they let this kid just go out into the wild, who knows, maybe the Sith Lords pick him up and make him one of their own. Better to keep the boy close.

Anakin is a good boy, raised by a loving mother, with a kind heart. If anything, he’s got the drive to do good as strong as that of any Jedi’s. Him being down-to-earth more than your average Jedi can potentially make him the best out of all of them. He could bridge the distance between the Jedi and the Senate, he could lead the Jedi into a new age. If anyone could be the next, better and improved Yoda, it’s Anakin Skywalker.

On the other hand:

Jedi training is for Jedi only. AKA, it’s perfect if you’re raised in the temple at a very young age to be a diplomat/wizard who upholds the values of the Republic, in control of your emotions and in Balance with the Force. But if you’re not? Then the strict rules of the Jedi Order will basically seem like an insurmountable (bordering on unreasonable) obstacle.

Any normal person will see these rules as attempting to turn you into a sociopath. Because if you’re a normal person, they might. For all intents and purposes, Anakin is a super-powerful normal person. If they take Anakin in, 10 years old, with the attachments he’s formed (his mother), the emotions he represses, the trauma from his upbringing - all of which, in a normal person, are totally fine and common - and try to force him in a mold he just won’t fit in, that’s just a recipe for disaster.

Of all people, Qui-Gon Jinn - Mister “I’m always right because I follow the Will of the Force and you don’t” - who is not the most forthcoming of people, as opposed to Obi-Wan, is insisting that he should train the boy. You give a chaotic Master a chaotic Padawan? That’s adding extra ingredients to the recipe for disaster.

The BEST thing to do would be Qui-Gon leaving the Order with Anakin, and raising Anakin as his surrogate son, teaching him his values, rather than training him as a Padawan and teaching him the values of the Jedi (which he’s too old for and which essentially make the Jedi the Senate’s lapdogs). But Qui-Gon’s insisting that he train him as a Jedi.

Anakin’s mind is too fragile as it is. If they add the stress of being a Jedi to that too, there’s a big chance he won’t be able to take it, and bring about the destruction of everything they are, stand for and care about.

And, to be honest? Both points are fair.

Because Anakin was both…

… the best of them…

… and their destructor.

But then, should Grogu be trained?

In my (and Luke’s) opinion? Yes.

Ahsoka’s logic makes sense… but it only applies to how things were before, back when the Jedi served the Republic as Force-sensitive diplomats/ambassadors, making decisions that impacted whole planets and their billions of inhabitants, keeping the peace through mediation, and occasionally investigating a crime.

But in Grogu’s case… things are a bit different.

The Republic is gone.

The Jedi’s mission of upholding its values seems to be gone with it.

So literally any surviving Jedi, has a new mission: just help people.

Be it Ezra & Kanan helping the Rebellion during the Dark Times.

Or Cal Kestis, saving the Force-sensitive children.

Or Ahsoka, helping the village of Calodan, after the fall of the Empire.

Or Luke, literally being a space-vagabond/Jedi archeologist for 10 years and helping out wherever and whoever he can.

The Jedi no longer have to deal with planet-sized problems, or mediations, or investigations, because the New Republic hasn’t included them in its government, seeing as they have their rangers, now.

So now, the pressure of “upholding the Republic’s values” and “going on missions which impact billions of lives” is gone.

Now, the Jedi operate at a smaller scale and just help people out. As they did, before they became Republic officials.

Sure, they still keep their emotions in control, but that’s simply for the sake of living a healthy life, rather than for the sake of objectiveness and diplomacy.

In these circumstances? It’s totally fine for Grogu to be trained, as he should be.

The line was about the fact that training Grogu to hone his skills is fine, and should be done, before he becomes a danger to everyone around him.