#sam winchester csa

[lovealwayssay]

Lucifer grooming Sam his entire life makes me want to scream.

[seasononesam]

2x12 "Nightshifter" // 3x12 "Jus in Bello"

[sammygender]

wrt prev post and sam’s original ‘fed demon blood by azazel as a baby’ arc like. actually that was the most insane thing to see depicted on my television especially when it seemed like no one else i knew or followed was talking about it. it felt so explicit and yet it was sooo deep in metaphor. she walked in on us. sammy, you’re my favourite. god it must be terrible to know something happened but that you’ll never be able to remember it or tell anyone about it. never be able to rip it out or scrub it clean. so azazel could get into my nursery and- bleed in my mouth? because i wasn’t clean. these trials - they’re purifying me. anyway. augh

[blacknidstang]

Things that drive me insane is when ppl want sam to be the innocent normal one with less trauma and in the process completely brush off azazel's entire csa coded storyline + demons trying to kidnap and groom sam. Sorry it's just kinda sorta upsetting when you take Sam's feeling of being unclean and dirty and needing to run away to establish some ounce of control in his life and make it only about john abusing dean. It's kinda wretched actually.

[opheliasam]

among the grating cesspool that is spn youtube clips comment sections… found some peers.. academics.. people who get it if u will

[superabnormal]

virgin veins | sam winchester

cw for implied csa and abuse watch improved version on youtube

w* dni

[normalbrothershow]

samjohn so dear to me actually i wish it was more popular in terms of discussions and fan explorations (also fics though). john viewing/treating sam with this image, of purity and innocence, because he knows hes not. but sam has to believe hes pure. john has to hold on to that. johns possessiveness over sam and the lashing out and rejection when sam forms a personality and john cant control sams thoughts anymore. sam growing up and recognizing the abuse and trying to get away (sam often saying "getting away from Dad" specifically). azazel in johns body with sam + azazel in samuels body with mary. mary mistaking azazel for john. john driving to stanford and watching sam without sam knowing. dean feeling unloved compared to johns love for sam, and wanting to be loved like sam, not knowing sam feels trapped and like it wasnt love at all & dean blaming sam for how he talked to john and that sam shouldve been grateful for being loved like that (very alike to incestous sa victim blaming). sam thinking hes a disappointment for leaving, standing up to john. sam the rebellious one who was always the one to speak. sam the rebellious one who was always the one to speak on the way john mistreated them but crumbles as soon as john says hes sorry or shows any form of affection/emotion. the change of how sam talks about john after his death re: forgiveness/understanding. sams conflict between love and hate for john, the conflict between accepting and rebelling. john saying the options are that sams either 1. under the protection and supervision of family to keep him pure/good or 2. he has to die. all the ways mary and sam parallel each other, john listening to sam and hearing mary. the way sam and john always have that crazy eye contact going on and how john keeps staring at sam during 1.16. not even starting with 14.13

[pentacentric]

S2 E21 | All Hell Breaks Loose: Part I

[flowers-in-your-basement]

(fem!Sam samjohn+Wincest)( dark, guys I don't know what has gotten into me.

some things will always be hard to deal with, some things will always hurt down to the bone. Sam sits down on the couch, whiskey breath on her face, brother way to close for any other family, and it's just normal.

He always starts the same way, just touching, angry slurring. Then he always takes more, groping, squeezing, hurting. It only hurts when he goes too fast, drunker than normal. Today is a good day, quiet pleas for forgiveness, gentle squeezes of her breasts, only A cups and dean always makes fun of her for it. Now he isn't making fun. Now he's telling her that he always liked them, wanted this since she was a kid. No point in telling him she's still a kid.

The first time she had to get an abortion, 13 and scared, fake id that was so obvious, her doctor gave her a number to call, if she needed help. Now they use condoms.

john uses the same ones too, just because they're in the house, probably wouldn't use anything if they didn't have them. He always starts the same way too, always drunk, always apologizing. Always "you look so much like your mother" as if he didn't say that the first time and the last, everytime in between too, if that matters. He's always more gentle, makes it hurt less. It feels worse though, because what kinda freak gets off on their dad fucking them?

It's just another day in Sam's life, and the cracks in her bones are just a bit deeper as she sits on the couch, ignoring the pain of her brother.

[holyfreaks]

Dean finds out about Sam and John, and immediately starts going off about how terrible that was of John to do. Sam says "I wanted it. I asked for it. Did you ever ask to take care of me? To take care of him? I wanted to be his whore. Did you want to be his wife?"

- schizosamwincester

I WANTED TO BE HIS WHORE. DID YOU WANT TO BE HIS WIFE.

ohhhh my god I will be thinking about that for the rest of time

but YES I love this, the idea of dean being a stand-in for his wife while at the same time sam is his baby, his whore..... yes yes yes

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

Supernatural (2005-2010) / Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

[panicroomsammy]

Sam and Dean who were (metaphorical?) csa victims together and now as adults they are forced to work with someone who is abusing kids and they feel so powerless. Yeah.

[transprodigalson]

"How am I to know with this sick in my bones?" - my (op's) original poetry

aka sam winchester × his (violation of) autonomy

[spn2006]

thinking abt supernatural childhood trauma being a narrative stand in for real world childhood trauma. coming up with stories of werewolves and demons and even alien abductions because its easier than the truth. its easier than admitting it was a human who hurt you all along

[blacknidstang]

You ever just play cure's lullaby on repeat thinking about sam, azazel and shtriga and all the demons stalking and watching and invading Sam's life

[thevillainsfangirl]

All I can say with every fiber of my being is that if John Winchester were a women, the Supernatural fandom would not hate on her nearly as much. (Or maybe they would; maybe this fandom hates women. Idk, I'm new here!)

Because flawed mothers get every excuse or defense in the book made for them, while flawed fathers get condemned to Hell and portrayed as a homophobic p*do/rapist who beats his kids daily. (Even outright abusive mothers get every excuse in the book made in their defense.)