#like oh fuck it hits scary
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You ever just play cure's lullaby on repeat thinking about sam, azazel and shtriga and all the demons stalking and watching and invading Sam's life
#the first song that came to my mind when i started to see azazel story as csa#like oh fuck it hits scary#spn#sam winchester#azazel
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They made hyoga look so much cooler in the anime hes just standing there , in the manga theyre all dripping wet and bedraggled and senku is dying as usual
#Dr stone#isnt it cute that he was holding onto tsukasa for dear life for that whole sequence .....#after hearing his name called so weakly im sure he would not have let go of tsukasa come hell or high water ... he was covering his wound#with such a shaky hand like he was so fucking stressed out but he couldnt let tsukasa be swept away from him he had to keep both their head#afloat the whole time they were fighting against the current and tsukasa is also twice his size and complete dead weight#ALSO HANG ON WAIT I JUST REALISED SOMETHING#HYOGA... wanted to get senku alone to talk to him but he attacked tsuaksa ... and when hyoga wanted to hit tsukasa he attacked mirai#thats scary because he immediately identified that theyre ride or die together ... hyoga is the original tsukasen shipper#hes like oh you guys love each other ? Well that makes it easier for me#also this was the first time i noticed he wears short shorts and leather thigh high boots. omg slay queen where did you get your boots !#they wanted to make him a classic withdrawn coolguy with a samurai-esque work ethic but actually hes mega camp and a sweety (killed someone
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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did another quick dhmis rewatch my thoughts are thusly:
duck and yellow friendship FOREVER I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
duck best character ever created ever invented
red guy still scares me and i had to skip the end of transport bc he made me so uncomfortable.
like somehow this rewatch made me like him LESS and he was already my least fave of the main 3
baker terry i love you goodnite
#LIKE. I STOPPED IT EVRY 5 MINUTES TO EXPLAIN TO MY BABY SISTER HOW THIS EP IS DUCK CENTRIC AND HOW THIS AND THAT#and at one point she was like yeah RG kinda got the shaft this series huh?#and i was like oh shut upp he has so many episodes. like uh. transport. and uh. idk but he HAS them ur gonna have to ask someone who#has him as a favorite#bc to ME transport ep is and always is duck and yellow have a fun cute time in the foreground while red guy loses his shit in the bg#HES JUST SO DISTURBING TO ME IN THAT EPPP#STOP SINGING DISSTRESSEDLY YOURE SCARING ME!!#STOP BEING SO DESPERATE AND RESTLESS AND AGITATED!!!#we are IN THE KITCHEN having a fun time COUNTING THINGS on the CLIPBOARD and you literally sound like ur gonna kill someone#stop !!!!!!!!! ffs!!!!!!!!!!!!!#STOP GRABBING STUFF STOP HITTING THINGS UR NOT DOING IT IN A COMEDIC WAY!!!!#scawy................#anyways dont ever watch dhmis with me im so fucking annoying about it#as a joke my sister said one of ducks lines along with him and then i just quoted him like .5 seconds before his actual lines for the rest#of jobs.#WHO CAN QUOTE DUCK THE FASTEST IS NEVER A GAME I /WANT/ TO PLAY BUT IT IS A GAME I PLAY AND WIN EVERY TIME#>:U STOP FORMING A BOND WITH THEM!!!#anyways. red guy maybe try not being so tall and big and scary and maybe ill like you better next time#my postings
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see the thing that gets me about the human centipede is that you're either a normie going to watch a movie and getting scared over nothing of you're a freak whos going like WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN?! and like both can backfire bc i cannot stress enough The Human Centipede is such a stupidly tame movie there's barely any blood at all but thing is what makes me be SO insane about it it's that Heiter's actor May He Rest In Peace just put his WHOLE PUSSY into playing him making it such a fucking enjoyable and hilarious movie.
Like you cannot go watch the human centipede first sequence expecting to be scared bc you'll get bored in the first 40 minutes of doomed yuri but you gotta embrace the sheer campiness of it. Nobody cares about the campiness bro. He makes chicken sounds. He makes horrible silly chicken noises. Are you listening to me.
#luly talks#NOBODY GETS IT I HATE IT HERE#ITS NOT A SCARY MOVIE ITS A SILLY ASS MOVIE#THAT'S WHY 3 IS MY FAVORITE 1 is the best tho objectively#IF YOU WANT ACTUAL GORE GO WATCH 2 THE POOP SPLATTERS THE TV ITS#ITS NOT FUNNY TO ME SADLY BUT I RESPECT IT TOO MUCH#3 has the best of both worlds bc its so gross and over the top BUT its also like. character focused#i mean 2 was too but its jsut a loooong drawn out torture scene#2 IS LITERALLY WHAT PEOPLE THINK 1 IS ITS SO FUNNY tom six is literally hilarious#but anyway ooooh you wanna watch the human centipede so bad oooooooh you wanna give it a chance#like granted the humor could just Not Hit but. It's literally just camp#go read my liveblog at least microdose in this masterpiece i am not exaggerating or being ironic its an incredible movie#and it has such a bad reputation for NO reason#like the scariest thing about THC is the poster#which is sick as all fucks btw#love the cultural impact this movie had also. but nobody appreciates it its so fucking sad............#i like at least 3 like. didnt lose the soul#bc 2 was six being a bit bitchy a bit of a OH YEAH? THEN WATCH THIS which is funny but yknow#3 is perfect 3 is the perfect end to the saga im so normal about the human centipede you can trust me around the human centipede#cant wait to start quoting bill boss like its my job once the heat starts rising#i'd learn to do gifsets...
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Wait I can pinpoint the Exact place I dropped it. That's so fucking funny
#i feel like i've said enough already i hit my quota for being slightly pathetic online.#but it's the first time he says 'i love you' to her (BITCH YOU'VE MET HER LIKE TWICE??????)#and she says it back (okay. fine. you have severe abandonment and have constantly been treated as a threat or resource.#i can understand that.)#then next page SHE SO SWEETLY. SO SWEETLY. calls him 'my first friend and only friend'#and ofc romance tropes this is played off kinda funny like oh ouch i was friend zoned but i'll walk it off like a good man about it#BUT ME. ME. BEING INSANE. WAS LEFT SO FUCKING ANGRY ABOUT THIS. AND I'M STILL UPSET#like DOES FRIENDSHIP mean NOTHING to you sazan?!?!?!?!?!?!??????!!! HORRIBLE. I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU#HOW ARE YOU GONNA HAVE LOVE WITHOUT FRIENDSHIP.............#I KNOW. I KNOW I'M JUST BEING DEMISEXUAL ABOUT IT. DEMIRO TO JUST MAYBE SOLIDLY ARO ABOUT IT#but COME ON‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#i have so many problems. i should play shadow of galleria the labyrinth society about it#MAYBE. IDK. I DON'T WANT TO ADMIT DEFEAT YET. but also i don't know if i wanna still draw today........... 🧍#i love being killed in the scary labyrinth.......
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Me in high school: yeah I’m pretty lucky; I have ADHD but not rly anything else haha. Guess I’m the outlier!
Me, now, staring down the barrel of a PTSD diagnosis on top of the fibromyalgia, probable dysmenorrhea, autism, adjustment disorder, heart rate issues still unexplained, and ADHD: oh I am not the outlier I thought I was.
#blue chatter#I know I’m still very lucky#I know that most of my shit isn’t physical and the physical stuff is decently manageable#and I can care for myself and do bADLs and iADLs on my own#but goshdang I’d like to stop finding out about more fucked up things going on with my body#‘oh by the way the reason your sound sensitivity got suddenly worse when you moved to a new place with safe people is not random chance’#‘oh by the way the dissociative episodes aren’t just bc you’re doing EMDR and that’s exhausting’#‘oh by the way the fact that EMDR is even working for you this well is probably indicative that you need trauma help’#I hate that this is a ‘worse before it gets better’ thing also#it feels very unfair#that I get all these symptoms after I’m out and safe and not in an abusive environment anymore#I understand why. I understand that I’ve essentially been procrastinating on feeling or processing any of this for 20-odd years#but it hurts to finally feel safe and comfortable and then get hit with 7 pickup trucks in a row of new scary symptoms
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SCARY PLAYING JEZZBALL?????? HELLO??????
#dndads spoilers#my jaw. hit the floor oh god#will immediately being like “welcome to my hell” is so fucking funny#scary marlowe
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i think it's just been long enough since the leviathan chapters where it seems I've forgotten how fucking intense endbringer attacks are
#the casual brutality!!!!#god!!!!!!!!#man. something about this hits so much different than . coil shooting teenagers point blank. or even like. anyof the s9#becuase with them youre like. oh those are people. and its scary and intense and . brian fridge. but its not the SAME#this is like. it just makes you feel small and helpless. and its fucking awesome for the record#its just like. all these capes that the main characrers have such a big time fighting.#any matchup with the undersiders and any othdr cape involves planning and strategizing and someone wins and someone loses.#with the endbringers its just like. they dont even fucking acknowledge your presence. theyre. and excuse the pun. youre like bugs to them!#they just keep moving forward and plow through you wituout batting an eye. woman gets her skull caved in . no big deal moving on#all these capes that seem so invincible and powerful are just. fucking crushed without a second thought.#its so insane to me how vast the difference is . i fucking love the endbringers dude#reaction time#anyway i HAVE to stop stalling and go back to my job now. unfortunately. god damn it now im thinking abt. endbringers all day
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GO STUDY!
When you have studied, I'll send you some bees, deal?
OKAY deal deal and tysm anon
Tysm everyone like actually 😭
It feels great knowing I have people who care and who support me ;;
#Like. Oh man I'm not gonna get into it that much#But it's fucking scary admitting that I have troubles studying and that it scares me#But I can be honest abt it here and u guys r ;; so so kind to me#Hugs to everyone#🤜🏻📚#Be. cause#Because I'm hitting the books#Nyeheheheheee okay ttyl
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i swear like every post of yours i see is a hit. youve got a talent for this
somepony save me
#THANK YOUU !!#I. don't know how or why it keeps happening#for like a year I tried SO HARD to make even one hit post and now I just say words and people are like oh THIS guy. fantastic. reblog#. ??? ???? ???? WHAT DO YOU PEIOPLE SEE IN ME. SCRAMBLES AROUND FRANTICALLY IN MY ENCLOSURE#ask tag#its SCARY. and flattering but my GOD#why am I technically a big blog now. that is FUCKED UP. I'm robin crabussy I was never destined to be famouse.. . ... . .. .#its pretty cool though ^_^ I can just say anything
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The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."
#Okay to tb btw all the personal stuff is in the tags#Like. Not eating for a week because you couldn't get groceries hurts#and people will say 'oof sorry that's happening' but then#after you're able to get food no one will ever say 'I'm sorry that happened' even though you think about it and hurt from it constantly.#No one will ever say ':( that must have been so hard' because you're fine now right???? No psychological damage there?????#This example is stupid but I do think about it every time I feel hungry. I told people I wasn't able to get groceries#and there was no food in my house. And they said. Oof.#Instead of idk Oh God Are You Okay ??#No one cares when you've been abused your entire life and behave the way you do out of genuine terror because your brain is fucked forever#They don't say 'I'm sorry that happened it must have been really scary to turn you into Such An Asshole. I pity you like a dog :('#Speaking of man everyone loves fucked up abused terrified dogs and wants to be the one who makes them open up#And shows them that people can be good and kind and that touch doesn't have to hurt#But everyone is scared of fucked up abused terrified people#Humans are capable of harm even more than dogs and fear is understandable but.#Can you please call me good boy and shush me and tell me nothing's going to hurt me and let me curl up on your lap#And not hit me if I get scared and start to growl and feed me good and take me on walks and play with me#Even though I'm not very fun to play with and I'm still learning what's fun and what's mean and what's a toy and what's a hand#Plleeeaaase don't be jealous of a dog that doesn't eat good don't say 'tch he's so thin what am I doing wrong'#I want to eat good and grow and gain fat and be warm and be comfortable I don't want this#Don't say 'if abused dogs don't eat good then I don't deserve to either' no no no no eat good so you can take care of us both#Please please please I learned so many tricks to make people happy and call me smart but I don't actually know how to do anything I'm#Literally like such a stupid dog it takes me like one day of no one paying attention to me for me to become un-housebroken#I make a lot of mistakes even though I know better or I really should know better#And sometimes do things wrong on purpose to get attention either yelling or showing me how to do it right#But most of the time I genuinely don't know how to do stuff because I was never taught or I was taught and#My previous owners said 'this is how it is. It is this way because it is and it is forever. The answer is Because.'#'now quit asking repetitive questions before I pop you'#If I do something Because and not know the reason why I'm doing it that's not learning that's acting#Especially habits taught specifically to hurt me and not being allowed to question it or know why I'm being hurt#Oh my god I acted out so much when I was younger and all my friends were so disgusted and hurt by me and yelled at me every day
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They're NEVER making another guy like me
#red rambles#trying to get my ducks all in a like today and lmao#like two days ago I bummed a hit off my sister's vape pen and straight up had like. a fucking asthma attack#(as far as i knew i didn't *have* asthma)#only remembered because my sister then was like 'oh yeah mom has asthma that makes sense' as though i should've known that#so today i waq trying to put together all the stuff i gotta put in my medical file (also arthritis!yay!)#that's not the part that matters#the important part is. after i was done feeling like my lungs had just been clenched in a giant fist#i did not go 'damn that sucked im not doing that again'#i went 'woah that felt really weird can i have another hit'#(my sister said no given i had just been sitting on the floor saying I couldn't breathe right and wheezing for three minutes or whatever)#(reasonable but now i want to get a dab pen ir something)#(<- also just straight up do not like nicotine(#actually the REALLY funny part of this is that the reason ive been an edibles only bitch for the last year is that through high school ever#time i smoked weed i got hives. like. physical visible obvious skin rash. I've never had an asthma attack before#finally... the scary high I've been craving....#im still gonna get myself salvia though
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YAAAY BIGASS FUCKOFF THUNDERSTORM YAAAYYYYY
#its been hot as BALLS all goddamn week and finally theres a beautiful scary gorgeous terrifying fucking storm hitting#i was walking back home from an audition workshop thingy when it started up so as soon as i dumped all my shit inside+changed pants#i went out for a lil jaunt in it:)<3<3<3#wheeeee i love the rain wheeeeeee bigass fuckoff lightning+thunder oH#BIGGEST BOLT IVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME#VERY GOOD#it was POURING a minute ago but once it kicked down a notch (still raining hard but not That hard anymore)#i went back inside and am now sat on my windowsill to watch the rest of the storm#its sposed to keep thunderstorming for like the next four days or smth and im sooooo excited<3<3<3#😌💕#thunderstorms my fuuuuucking beloooooveds#😌😌💕💕#bee speaks
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the dichotomy of man (need to get out of this fuckin house but if i go then i can not see my cats)
#JUST realized this and now i want to kill and explode and throw up#WHAT THE HELL WILL I DO . WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO ABOUT MY FISH ok i can probably take the fish with me#but MAN#thats such a FUCKING HASSLE#ill just stay here this is fine <- tormented by the horrors. ball and chained to familiarity#the gamer speaks uwu#guy who is terminally stressed and sick about change but desperately needs it to live a life#oooo i need to be in a hamster ball everything new can just be out of arms reach and i will be safe and contained forever#no more new experiences and life changes ill cry we should all just die actually so i never have to break out of my shell#sometimes im like im therapized i dont need to go to therapy i am sooo normal and then i say shit like all that n im like nvm#the desperately averse to change braincell is funny like is it the autism. is it the ptsd. probably both#bc i sure did like have a moment of like i should just drop out of school all of this is too much i cant do it anymore#wired in juuust the right way where i can live so much better than i ever have but itll stress me out enough where i still feel the urge#to throw it all away bc it is strange and weird. and then i have to resist that urge constantly bc ill be fully like cidal again if i do th#its so weird actually. oh u have friends? u take meds? u have irls now? strange and unfamiliar and scary get rid of it all <- the insanity#anyway sucks how there isnt a word i can use in place of men/women when im like 'women will x' but for being nonbinary#nonbinary mfs doesnt hit the same . enbies doesnt hit the same either#nonbinaries b like i am free from the horrors and then go down a whole spiral at the very thought of moving out of their nightmare house#vent#i guess oops what did this turn into
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i forgot to turn my data back on lmao so idt it posted. nearly lodt my phone it eas scary i did nesrly start crying
#i tried using the button on my headphones to hit play on my video and nothing happened and i was lir ermmm weird. went to checj my phone to#see what was up. Couldnt find it started freaking out#hankfully marian took me back and i hesr my headphones link up with it so i was liek sleighh.. and i checked the table where i was waiting#utsjde it wasnt there Fear terror. went inside asked znonody had seen it fear terror. n then finally i was like Ohhh i mightve dropped#it while i climbed into the car... duh doy.... went and checked and there it was in the gutter#thank godd i found it so quick bc its pouring rain rn. but luckily it only got likee. the screen was wet but the ports n everything r#covered by rubber flaps on this phone so that helped protect it a lot :]] and shes all good naoe#so ya. its all good But i was rly scary and thats why i was like oh i need to update my voicemail direly. bc my coworker was calling my#phone to help find it and the voicemail was like Hi this is connor and i was like Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck
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