#salty and in pain

[ourceliumnetwork]

There are some things I don't think I will ever be able to forgive my parents for.

The internal voice in my head that blames my pain on what i did or didn't do - mainly didn't do, because of course if i moved around more i wouldn't be injured (let's just conveniently ignore/forget most of my injuries happened while at my most active). And obviously i don't move around enough because 1) they didn't see it and 2) i'm fat (derogatory).

This is, of course patently incorrect. first of all i am shaped like a gravitationally-powered time piece and have been since i was young. But apparently that is enough to be deemed "fat" by my family since i grew tits at age 9-10. Like and fat isn't a bad thing?? and you can be healthy and active while fat??? and i was! i was very active and...well i can't say healthy during that period of time because i was actively starving most of it because - as i was perceived as fat - i was berated about my food intake (at *minimum* it was commented on snidely) and constantly monitored about what i could have and when i could have it. My parents were on yo-yo diets constantly during my teen years when i was running Multiple Miles A Day, at minimum 3 days a week, or swimming actively anywhere from 2 hours a day 3 days a week to 3 hours a day nearly 5 days a week.

My knee blew out and swelled up to 2x its size while i was a councilor in training at a summer camp for 2 weeks. My shoulder blew out mid lap, mid practice and i finished the practice before i mentioned it and it *was* x-rayed but i never found out what happened to it. If mom heard back about it, she never told me. I *fell off* horses TWICE, once getting kicked in the ribs at 10, and the second one i tore a huge chunk of skin off my hand and had scrapes on my back from getting dragged through gravel. AFTER WHICH I WENT TO SWIM PRACTICE. And then there was the tap dancing which i did *along side training for half-marathons*. WITH MY PARENTS. I DID THIS WITH THEM. THEY KNEW I DID THIS MUCH.

but because i tended to stay pretty stationary at home (god why wouldn't i? even if i wasn't fucking DISABLED with a CHRONIC PAIN ISSUE from my CONNECTIVE TISSUE DISORDER (as of yet unnamed specifically - i *really* need to get my shit together and see a doctor) I was exhausted because i WAS RUNNING SEVERAL MILES IN THE MORNING AND THEN EXPECTED TO TEACH MYSELF MY OWN FUCKING SCHOOL WORK.

but yeah i was lazy and didn't move around enough and so any injuries i got, or stiffness and pain when i moved from my stationary position was my fault. My knee wouldn't have blown out if i didn't sit with it tucked up underneath me. My shoulder wouldn't have blown out if I...idk been more careful??? doing the same stroke i'd been doing the same way for several years at that point?

I walked FIVE MILES A DAY, EVERY DAY, FIVE DAYS A WEEK. at my most recent job *just to get to the damn job*, let alone the 10-12 HOURS ON MY FEET WHILE THERE before i burnt out (gee I WONDER WHY) and thankfully shortly thereafter i got a car so I could make it to the shifts I could still work at that point, ones that got shorter and shorter as my body just failed right out from underneath me. IN FUCKING FOOD SERVICE. (notably a rather physically intensive job)

My pain during my desk job years was from sitting still too long. My pain during training during my athletics was from not stretching enough, not being careful enough. My pain during the physically taxing jobs was because i didn't move enough during the day so of course i was going to hurt myself.

no matter what i did. it was my fault i hurt. it couldn't ever be that there was something wrong with me that they needed to help me look into. And i internalized the shit out of that.

I tweaked my back the other day. Don't know what i did. it's been like 3 days now, and i move really stiffly because it's my lower back, near my hips and tailbone, and it hurts to move. i've taken meds 2ce today and i am *really bad* at taking meds during the day. i stretch during the day, i get up and move around as best i can - i might not do it as often as i probably *should* but if you were in pain you'd do your best not to move as much too! it hurts!

but gosh if i only moved more, lost weight, could turn straw into gold and spin my hair into a rope to reach the stars. Then I wouldn't be in pain and really it's my own fault. Right?

[bluismie]

the category is hurt/comfort

[ftl-faster-than-life]

DC I have a revolutionary concept for you. It's called hiring people who have read comics about the characters they'll be writing to write those characters. If you're feeling really bold. Maybe you can start hiring people who LIKE the characters.

[cedric-k-rossignol]

[chronicallydragons]

“Oh have you tried yoga?” “Have you tried acupuncture?” “Oh! My cousin did a juice cleanse and that worked!” “Oh have you tr—“

Oh noooooo. Did my disability remind you of your own mortality and now you feel a little scared, Nancy? That’s not my problem.

[blindmagdalena]

the longer i spend away from it the worse s4 gets in hindsight. but mostly i'm just always incredibly irritated by how homelander's powers keep taking massive nerfs because the writers just. stopped bothering trying to write around them.

now the boys can just have full on scooby-doo hijinks and shoot members of the seven in the head literally a floor above homelander without being noticed

remember how GOOD the tension in s1 was when they could see homelander looking for translucent (still terrifying to see him zipping around staring through buildings like that) and they couldn't blow him up without homelander hearing it bc he has fucking super hearing? yeah. bring that back.

[saltynsassy31]

For your doodle requests

SWERVE PLZZ🙏🙏

THE BOY

THE GORGEOUS

THE PRECIOUS

SWEEEEEEERVEEEEE

Had to make him be a lil bit shy cuz he is way too cute and anxious

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

mafurui octopus love

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends Episode 7 | "You wouldn't get me." "You're right, I might not get you."

This episode did me so dirty. We had about ten seconds of Ray/Sand fluff and then THIS happens. I'm so completely heartbroken for him. Seeing Ray and Mew together just felt so wrong. (I'll have to dive into a separate post as to why). But for now, I just feel for my man here.

[matt0044]

The mindset regarding Thomas Astruc appears to be that he's the end-all-be-all for Miraculous.

His thoughts and tweets are given so much weight, often distorted through a loooooooot of disingenuous reads. Except... what about everyone else on the staff.

Sebastien Thibaudeau is the story editor of the show and has written for most episodes so far.

Nathanael Bronn? He's a co-writer of the story bible, has a finger in near every pie, is considered a co-creator along with Astruc.

Wilfried Pain? Co-director along with Astruc for most episodes and clearly having a say in where things go.

Jeramy Zag? One of the composers for the theme songs, some of the transformation themes, CEO of Zag and screenwriter of the movie.

Then there are the companies and distributors involved. Less personal but no less have a knock on effect on the show's presentation.

So why are we giving the yapper on Twitter all of the onus for what the show does or doesn't do?

I think this is something of an Authorial Intent situation where we heap all of the adoration or derision upon the creator as if they are some indie web comic artist. Because acknowledging the vast, vast creative team and the corporate overlords takes a lot more work compared to just one person. Far less overwhelming.

This is aided when they have a Social Media prescence. Far more easy to heap everything on a human lightening rod for the voltage that is our anger.

A similar example would be that of Rebecca Sugar with Steven Universe a few infamous critics and fans alike really tried to blame her for every pet peeve they had with the show. Some, not naming names, went so far as to call her a Nazi just because the big bads were allowed to turn themselves around.

Man, don't tell that crowd about the Chloe stans...

But even if to accurately ascribe blame, why can't we put that energy to looking into others on the Miraculous creative team? Reach out to them more if at all possible. Figure out who exactly is responsible for what's got the fandom's goat this time around?

Just... anything other than "Mommy! Tommy's being mean again!"

Thomas Astruc is only as maddening as you allow him to be. And he's not even THAT bad. He's snippy at worst, opinionated at best. Good knows I wish that was the only thing bad about JK Rowling again.

So yeah, I have bone to pick with theimmaturityofthomasastruc blog for enabling this lack of curisoity.

[a-birdie-on-a-rose]

and the meals we had together

[demodraws0606]

People complaining about Tsukasa5 already are pissing me off, because like, it's so unbelievably obvious what this event is trying to do and the fact that people are so hung up on "urgh dur tsukasa strong why can't he do a wall climb".

Like, first of all, a lot of Tsukasa's strength has been used as comedy before and also it's never been said that Tsukasa could specifically do a wall climb before so people calling this a retcon or a stretch is really dumb to me.

Sure we can make jokes about it, but this is not like a serious writing problem or anything.

Also are we just gonna ignore the fact this event is literally just a reference to his 3rd event in a silly trenchcoat. Or the fact that this is obviously meant to be WxS's downtime and training arc to prepare them to face the loose plotpoints in the future?

His inner dialogue when chasing the ninja is very clearly a reference to the whole Pheonix thing, how he can't reach it no matter how hard he tries.

The wall climb is like an extremely fucking on the nose metaphor to him climbing over his issues as an actor.

THERE IS ALSO THE WHOLE THING THAT HINTS THAT TSUKASA CAN ONLY OVERCOME HIS PROBLEMS IF HE HAS HELP FROM OTHERS (AKA tsukasa would've literally BEEN INJURED, if it wasn't for the fact the troupe's leader was there).

In fact this literally followed an event aka Tsukasa 4 where he FAILED to do his role correctly.

It's almost like this event is meant to be a transition point between Tsukasa 4 and 6, where Tsukasa builds up the knwoledge on how to face his problems.

But no this is just mid event because it's very silly and "wow plot is stupid why can't tsukasa wall climb".

WxS fans are slowly just turning into VBS fans in terms of how whiney they're being i swear

[edennill-archived]

Trying to figure out how I can justify the people of Bór being a different ethnicity than the people of Ulfang (I tend to automatically visualise the one as vaguely Mongolian but the other as Germanic-looking??) (the latter runs somewhat counter to canon since we know they had dark hair at least but never mind) and still have a connected culture (unless they don't...🤔) — ...aaand now I've realised I have no idea why humans in Arda even have ethnicities if their development runs on something vaguely similar to young earth creationism

[headfullof-ideas]

The drama queen of the century is starting to come together

I’m not even entirely done drawing the base sketches for this WIP, but a lot of the ones I haven’t done are slightly similar to ones I have, so I’m linearting them to make it easier for myself. Also I don’t wanna piss myself off trying to draw more frames and failing because this man is a PAIN-

[syphonstrikes]

[saltynsassy31]

A design I did for mine and my sister's au Shockwave!

Idk what possessed me to be able to draw him cuz I STRUGGLE with drawing robots yet somehow I came out with this.

Extremely proud and obsessed with it, I want to slap it in everything I do and like, commission him, or just, idk! See him more!