#saf's fic concepts

[to-be-a-dreamer]

🥚

Yes. Yes, I do have an inbox full of asks from the game the other day. However, why would I be a normal person and answer them when I could finish this response from literally ten months ago? (Other than this paragraph and the bit near the end, everything here was written back in June. I cannot even begin to tell you why it never got finished but enjoy I guess)

Okay, perfect so let me tell you guys about a little story called Pearchwood Hollow! It was a mystery/horror original story I wrote in 2019 that I repurposed into a Newsies AU. Obligatory "I have a very loose mental roadmap of how this plot goes at best, and nothing but general vibes and random scenes in mind at worst". This AU is an absolute mess and I have no idea how at least 50% of it goes, which is the exact reason it has never seen the light of day. You can read the concept chapter I wrote if you want; it's not that great but it'll help you get an idea of what this is going to be. (Don't bully me for the characters' names I was 16 and thought I was being quirky) It's formatted kinda weirdly because of the application it was originally written on but luckily I saved a copy to my computer after I deleted the original file.

Anyways, the basic idea:

It's a small town au and our main character is Davey Jacobs, an 18-year-old high school graduate/rising college freshman who lives with his parents and brother, is best friends with Charlie Morris-Larkin and Katherine Pulitzer, and was dating Jack Kelly-Larkin for most of high school. Jack and Charlie are brothers and Charlie is older by like four months because I said so. Davey and Jack broke up a few weeks after graduation because they made plans to go to colleges on opposite sides of the country. They're still friends and it's totally not awkward at all. Nope. Besties for life, those two.

Anywho, if you read the chapter I linked, you already know the mystery that's being set up, but just as a little TLDR: the town Davey and the gang live in is completely and totally normal. Really, it is. (this is not me being sarcastic again, it really is just a regular, boring town in middle-of-nowhere New York)

THE TOWN RIGHT NEXT TO THEM, HOWEVER-

It's called Pearchwood Hollow and it seems perfect, almost too perfect. Davey's been there a few times and everyone he met was super friendly and helpful. The lady at the gas station gave him a free candy bar, the mechanic who helped them out when they got stuck on the side of the road taught Davey how to change a flat tire, and the nice old couple who own the local sandwich shop snuck an extra cookie in his bag. It's a perfect town, full of perfect people who live in perfect houses and go to perfect schools and play in perfect parks and have perfect everything lives.

So why does every single person within a 100-mile radius know the exact same rule: Never, under any circumstances, stay in Pearchwood Hollow overnight

Davey liked to think his parents trusted him. He didn't have a curfew because they know he isn't interested in staying out late and getting into trouble. He was allowed to go anywhere in town as long as he gave them a general idea of when he would be home. He had his own job and his parents allowed him to do whatever he wanted with his salary, knowing that he always puts half into his savings account and made sure his phone bill was paid before spending anything on himself.

Yes, Esther and Mayer Jacobs trusted their oldest son, he had never given them any reason not to, after all. But Davey had never in his life gone longer than a week without being strictly reminded "never go to the Hollow".

No one knew where the rule came from, not even the oldest people in town. As far as Davey could tell, the fear of Pearchwood Hollow went back at least six generations and for seemingly no reason. Every once in a while, a couple of local kids would go to the Hollow with the intention of staying the night, but they always chickened out before sunset. No one had ever spent the night except for the people who lived there, all of whom usually laughed off the rumors or seemed genuinely clueless about them.

Davey was curious of course, everyone was, but he figured if so many people were afraid of the Hollow there must be a good reason. He would not be known as the fool who went poking around in places he shouldn't have and ended up becoming the answer to the mystery.

Which brings us to the beginning of the Actual Plot:

The opening scene is Davey packing for college while Les helps him and whines the whole time about being left behind. He's fine, just dramatic. Davey insists that he'll love being the only kid in the house and getting all of their parents' attention. Just in case though, Davey promises to leave his favorite denim jacket for Les to wear while he's gone and Les gives Davey his favorite friendship bracelet that he made at camp.

Anyways, Les has to leave the room for something, and, while Davey's shifting boxes around and trying to figure out how to pack his whole life into one tiny little dorm room, he finds an envelope behind his desk. It's covered in a thin layer of dust, a bit crumpled, still sealed shut, and reads "To Davey" on the front in neat, loopy handwriting.

Of course, he opens it and finds a letter from someone telling him that they've always wanted to know what was wrong with the Hollow. That they couldn't take it anymore and were going to find out what the rumors were about, once and for all. They told Davey they were planning on staying for one hour past sundown and to expect them home before dinner if all went well.

That much was already weird enough, but there were details in the letter than didn't make sense. First of all, there was the fact that Davey doesn't know anyone named "Sarah", and she kept speaking about him, Les, and their parents as if she were close to their family. Extremely close. Then she asked him not to tell Katherine where she'd gone until she got back, again, as if she were close with Davey's best friend. She called him D, an old nickname his family used when he was a little kid. Other small things like that.

Davey is completely and utterly confused, so, naturally, he goes to his two best friends to make them confused with him (one of which is his ex's brother and the other of which is his ex's ex. This is normal.)

Davey, Kath, and Charlie are, individually, incredibly smart individuals, so you would think that between the three of them, they could figure out a reasonable plan of action. However, their first working plan is to just. Go to the Hollow and see what happens. They don't stay overnight, they go during the middle of the day just to see if anything about it has changed since the last time any of them went.

There's a chapter or two of the gang driving around, looking at the old, decrepit town, a far cry from what they all remember. All of the buildings are falling apart and overgrown with plants. The road is full of potholes and cracks and looks as if it hasn't been tended to in decades, maybe even centuries. Davey's pretty sure he doesn't see a single animal in the entire town. It's only been six months since one of them was here, so they have no idea how it looked so bad.

They ask around a bit to try and learn what happened, or even if anyone knows a girl named Sarah, but every person they try to talk to just yells at them to get out before they get "claimed", whatever that means. Even the nice little sandwich shop that Davey remembers has basically crumbled into a giant pile of rubble and the man at the counter glares so harshly as they enter that they turn right around and go back to the car.

It's weird and creepy, nothing like they remember about the Hollow, so they leave a lot sooner than they originally planned. This chapter(s) ends with the three of them encountering Jack on the road out of the Hollow.

He's absolutely furious for a few reasons. First for going to the Hollow without telling anyone (Katherine could have sworn she sent Darcy a text right as they crossed into the town limits). Second for not answering their phones when literally everyone has been trying to find them (Davey couldn't remember his phone going off at all while they were in the Hollow, but when he checks he does in fact have several missed calls and texts from his parents and his friends). Third for turning off their location-sharing so that Medda and Jack couldn't even figure out where Charlie was (Charlie had barely touched his phone all day, but when he pulls it out to prove it, sure enough, his location-sharing is off.) I also think that it's been at least an hour longer than the trio thought, but I'm not sure if they would realize that now.

And so they have no choice but to tell Jack what's going on, to show him the letter and explain their "plan". He understands, he probably would have done the same thing, but he's hurt that they couldn't bother to tell him. He knows that things have been a bit awkward since the breakup but they're still his best friends and Charlie should have had the sense to at least tell his family what he was up to instead of scaring them half to death by practically falling off the face of the earth for four hours.

I have no idea how long this confrontation lasts, but by the end of it everyone has more or less made up, and now Jack is in on the goal to figure out the mystery. I told you there is no plan for this, I barely know what's going on at this point.

Here's the kicker: when Jack asks if they at least learned anything useful on their little field trip, Davey, Kath, and Charlie all say "no". They tell him that everything was just as perfect and idyllic as always, everyone was nice and welcoming and nothing weird was going on. They're not lying. The reader knows all of Davey's thoughts and memories in this moment and, as he recalls them, they are drastically different from what the reader knows to be true.

This is when we discover what the characters won't for a long time: the Hollow affects your memories. As long as you leave before sunset, the memories you made during your time in the Hollow are replaced by new ones. Fake ones. Memories of colorful houses with blossoming front gardens, of cheerful diners and mom-and-pop shops, of friendly townsfolk with genuine smiles and happy lives. Our narrator has forgotten four whole hours of his life and doesn't even realize it. What else don't we know about this story?

Wasn't sure where to add this, but I think something would happen in the Hollow that left a physical mark. Like, the car got scratched, someone skins their knee or gets a small cut on their arm, or someone drops a book in a puddle of water which leaves the ink bleeding and the pages warped. Something physical that can't easily be fixed, but could easily be forgotten for a little while. Jack asks what happened and the trio realizes that none of them knows. It's a big enough mark that they definitely should have noticed as soon as it happened, but none of them did. Or, at least, none of them remember if they did.

Also, at some point, we would meet Finch, Albert, and Spot, three best friends in the grade below our main characters who sometimes just kinda show up and are Also There. If Davey and the gang thought really hard about it, they wouldn't be able to remember where or how they met the three younger kids. And if Finch, Albert, and Spot thought really hard about it, they wouldn't be able to remember where or how they met each other.

Here's where the plot gets a little muddy and I start to lose my grip on the steering wheel. Or maybe my navigation system just shorted out idk it's less of an outline and more of a wishlist after this point:

So our new Buzzfeed Unsolved gang consists of Jack Kelly, his older brother of four months, his ex-girlfriend, and his ex-boyfriend. Someone book them a weekly timeslot on the History Channel.

They eventually decided that the best thing they can do is just research the Hollow and see if they can figure out why there are so many warnings about a seemingly-normal place. They don't find much, people have been searching for answers about the Hollow for over a century and never found anything. Finally, Katherine manages to find one newspaper article from the late 1800s, early 1900s. (It might be a little on-the-nose to say it's from 1899, but that's around the time period, I didn't even do that on purpose). According to the article, there was some kind of tragedy that killed every person in Pearchwood Hollow. I haven't 100% decided what happened, but my top 3 options are: blizzard, massive flood/tropical storm, or mysterious illness. I think I'm leaning towards blizzard just for simplicity's sake, but the illness one would be easy to explain why it didn't affect any of the surrounding towns. It's really not important, all you need to know is that everyone in town died, and the article states that no one has any plans to rebuild or repopulate.

Then the exact same newspaper released another article a week later, talking about a new school opening in Pearchwood Hollow to help with the large population increase over the past few years.

This is when the gang starts to revisit the weird stuff that happened when they went into the Hollow. Their phones seemingly not working, time moving differently, and the physical mark that I mentioned earlier. With this, in addition to the news articles and the letter from Sarah, there's only one logical conclusion to come to: the Hollow affects your memories.

Okay so maybe it's not exactly a logical conclusion and they definitely argue about it for a while, but it's the best explanation anyone has. But if the theory is true, that means there's no way of learning what's going on. Not unless they stay in the Hollow overnight.

Again, I have absolutely how the plot progresses to this, it just Does, alright? So yeah, the gang decides to just stick it out and stay in the Hollow overnight. How do they decide on this? Absolutely no idea but it happens and we're going with it, it's important to the plot.

Now this is really where I have no idea what happens beyond really vague ideas so just bear with me:

The gang goes to the Hollow and it's the same as the last time (the time the reader remembers), the run-down buildings, the horrible roads, the weird townsfolk, everything. Except this time, as soon as the sun sets, it's like a switch flips in everyone's heads and they suddenly remember that this is how Pearchwood Hollow has always been. Every single time, they had had the same awful experience, their memories were just replaced after they left. It's fascinating and terrifying all the same, but they move on to the next part of the plan, which is to find Sarah.

Which they do. Somehow. Don't ask questions, I don't have answers. They find Sarah and, again, a switch flips and suddenly they all remember her. She's Davey's twin sister, Jack's best friend, and Katherine's girlfriend of two years. It's very emotional, very sad, many tears. I'm so good at descriptions.

This is when the pieces all start to fall into place for both the reader and the characters. Sarah left the note for Davey about a week or two before the story started, went into the Hollow, stayed after dark, got trapped, and everyone in the outside world forgot she existed. Every physical and digital trace of her disappeared, except for the letter. As Sarah keeps explaining, they learn dozens, if not hundreds of people get stuck in the Hollow every single year. And then the world just... forgets them. People they knew, people they were friends with, maybe even people they loved. All gone.

Sarah doesn't know why, no one in the Hollow does. They still age and die as normal, so this has been going on for over six generations just like in the outside world. The town is pretty run down after a century of not being able to call for outside help or materials, but they don't really need to sleep or eat or drink like they should, so the lack of safe housing or good food or clean water isn't really a problem. The Hollow is basically a weird little pocket dimension and the people inside are somewhere between dead and alive. They just live out the rest of their lives wandering aimlessly in their odd little prison, making tentative friendships that don't mean all that much, and scaring off any visitors so they don't get trapped as well.

Davey, Katherine, Charlie, and Jack aren't technically stuck yet. They could still leave, but they'd forget everything again. They aren't really trapped until they get "claimed", which, according to Sarah, should be happening any minute so they really needed to get going. They argue this, of course, saying they won't leave without her and she insists that she can't leave, that she's tried and everyone else in Pearchwood has tried, but there's no way out after you get claimed.

They're arguing about this for a few minutes and then they hear a voice calling out from the other room. Asking Sarah who she was talking to. Then the final switch flips and they remember Race. And Davey can't feel any emotion besides horror as the boy freezes in the doorway. This is Jack and Charlie's little brother and, if Davey's memory isn't failing him again, he's been gone for over a year. And all that time, while he was stuck in this horrible limbo, they were just living their lives as if nothing had happened

Okay, so this is where I stopped writing back in June because couldn't think of an ending. We're picking this up about ten months later so apologies if there's any continuity errors after this

For the sake of getting this finished so it doesn't sit in my drafts for another ten months, we're gonna speedrun our way through what is technically the climax of the entire story, just deal with it. In case you haven't noticed I love creating situations for my little guys but I'm so bad at getting them out of said situations

Basically, Pearchwood Hollow is the way that it is because back in 1899, when the whole town was destroyed, there actually was one survivor. It doesn't really matter who it was. Maybe the mayor, maybe a poor farmer, maybe a small child. Who they are isn't important. What's important is that they were scared, lonely, and so very desperate.

Desperation is a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands. It makes you vulnerable.

They made a deal with something. Maybe they thought it was an angel. Maybe they knew it was a demon. Maybe they didn't care either way.

The demon couldn't bring everyone back, but it could bring others in. It promised that if the person could get people to stay in the town just until sunset, the demon would make sure they were never lonely again. It could give them a community, a family again.

Desperation is a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands. It makes you vulnerable. It makes you irrational. It prevents you from remembering all the warnings passed down from generation to generation about reading the fine print before accepting a deal from a demon. They never give you what you think you're asking for in the first draft.

At the time of our story, the original person who made the deal is long dead. But the demon will never break its oath, not as long as there are still people in the Hollow.

Demons gain their power from soul sacrifices. Technically, there's a specific ritual a human must complete of their own volition before the demon can stake their claim, but every rule has a loophole. Willingly entering a demon's earthly domain past nightfall despite warnings to keep away? Close enough to a ritual sacrifice for a demon to claim your soul and keep you trapped for the rest of your life.

Anyways, long story short but Davey and Co meet the demon and somehow don't ask questions Davey convinces it to take only his soul in exchange for letting the rest of his friends go, including Sarah and Race. I'm thinking the reasoning is because souls that are willingly sacrificed by someone who fully and completely understands the meaning of said sacrifice are ten times more powerful than souls that are forcibly stolen using a shaky-at-best loophole.

Desperation is a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands. It makes you vulnerable. It makes you irrational. It makes you impulsive. It tricks you into thinking you've outsmarted your opponent when both of you know the game was over before it even started.

Jack and the others try to talk him out of it. Davey insists that this is the only way and at least most of them should be able to go home. They won't remember him anyways so they won't have to mourn. Before any of the others can try to offer themselves up instead, the demon snaps its fingers and suddenly the reader is sent back to the opening scene.

Davey is in his room packing for college. Sarah comes in to try and steal some of his sweaters to take with her to her own university just two hours away from Davey's. They bicker like all siblings do, like they always have.

They meet Charlie, Katherine, and Jack for lunch at Jacobi's later that day. Sarah greets her girlfriend with a sweet kiss and Davey slips under Jack's arm like it was the only place in the world he belonged. None of them mention the Hollow. The thought of the place doesn't even cross Davey's mind.

Jack leaves early to pick Race up from work, grumbling lightheartedly about how his annoying kid brother should hitch a ride with his friends instead of bugging him all the time. Davey rolls his eyes, knowing his boyfriend is eager to soak up every second left at home with Race before Jack and Davey move across the country to go to college together.

Davey does not find a dusty envelope behind his desk.

Esther and Meyer shed several tears the day they drop Davey and Sarah off at college, mentioning how quiet the house will be with only the two of them living in it

If he thought long and hard about it, Davey wouldn't be able to remember why he left his favorite denim jacket at home.

If anyone asked, Davey wouldn't be able to recall who gave him the handmade friendship bracelet he always had on his wrist.

And if anyone asked, David Jacobs would say he has only one sibling, his twin sister Sarah.

Always read the fine print before making a deal with a demon. They never give you what you think you're asking for.

[chaotic-goodsir]

Wilbur Cross for the ask game?

Ahhh thank you for sending me the blorbo of the moment haha 😅 Unsurprisingly I have much to say about Wilbur so here goes: 

Favourite thing:

I'm gonna have to say his aesthetic. The triple denim. The pin badges. The apples. The neon green. The obvious satan allegory. The southern accent. The resurrecting himself from a skeleton by pulling a knife from his own chest, then stealing Miss Holloway's jacket. He's unhinged he's chaotic he's incredible he's the pinnacle of character design.

Least favourite thing:

He is canonically a bit of a creep towards women so there's that. But also the fact that he isn't actually present that much in canon. So much of his story is offscreen, which makes it great for headcanons and fic, but I'd still love to see more canon Wilbur content. (I haven't finished NMT2 yet though, so maybe there's more.)

Favourite line:

The whole of Made in America, if I'm allowed to count an entire song. If not then it's 'Am I? Am I though??' from The Witch in the Web.

BroTP:

In an AU of mine, pre-Portal Wilbur and Owen from SaF are nerds about science together. Also he's the best at getting around Owen's old man stubbornness to actually help him. 

I also think the idea of Wilbur and Grace Chasity basically having to be colleagues post NPMD is hilarious. Not really a broTP as they would NOT get along but it would be very funny.

OTP:

*slaps the roof of MacNacross* this ship can fit SO much angst and heartbreak and suffering and I cannot stop thinking about it.

NoTP:

I'm not a fan of Wilbur/Howard Goodman. I just don't really get why you'd pair them together (except maybe because the actors also play Curt and Owen?) Like at what point would they even get to know each other properly? I will admit 'mr president and his evil eldritch horror boyfriend' is kind of a funny concept though.

Random headcanon:

One of my many pre-portal Wilbur headcanons is that he rides a motorbike and taught John how to ride one. They used to ride out to the countryside and go camping together when they were off duty.

Also, as a genderfluid I'm hereby taking this opportunity to claim Wilbur for my team. My (questionable) justification for this is that one line about slipping into Ms Foster's skin, the jacket theft, and the 'every girl-boy' line in the Wiggly jingle.

Song I associate with them:

2nd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye) by Will Wood

Favourite picture of them:

I've been answering this question with favourite scenes instead of pictures, and for Wilbur that has to be the resurrection scene in Witch in the Web.

[callixton]

i’m So excited abt this fantasy au i i can’t remember the last time i was so pumped to write something

[considerablecolors]

OK So What If SAF Had Animals

So I was reading a Daemon AU fic on AO3 the other day, and it got me thinking about what the daemons for Spies Are Forever characters would be, and how a SAF daemon AU would play out.

For those who don't know, daemons are a concept taken from His Dark Materials. Basically, daemons are the physical manifestation of someone's inner-self/heart/soul, taking the form of an animal. Daemons can think and talk independently, though they have to stay close to their humans, unless they are separated (a usually painful situation). So some basic ideas for people's daemons I had (color-coded so it's easier to remember whose daemon is whose lol) are:

Curt- Jonah, a border collie

Owen- Eleanor, a raven

Tatiana- Marya, a fox

Barb- Gigi, a parakeet

Informant- Finley, a chameleon

Cynthia- Lincoln, an ocelot

Vanger- Nina, a peacock

Etc...

I think it would be very interesting to have Curt's daemon acting in contrast to him throughout the show. I could see Jonah constantly fighting against decisions Curt makes throughout the show, as Curt's sort of at war with himself the entire time.

We meet the Deadliest Man Alive, who has no daemon at all. This adds to his image a lot, Sergio even makes a comment about like "wow this guy's so heartless he doesn't even have a daemon."

Tatiana's daemon maybe following Curt when he gets tortured by the DMA before Tatiana herself comes to rescue him, because deep down Tatiana feels bad for tricking Curt. And then at the World Peace Gala, Curt sees Marya looming and is just like "oh thank god they're here to save my ass again."

It's also pretty common for daemons to reflect their humans, so like if two humans are making out, their daemons are probably close to each other and cuddling or smth. So during Doing This, you KNOW something's up, because Curt and Tatiana are flirting up a storm and their daemons are just... Kinda boredly sitting on opposite ends of the couch.

And it's only when the "you're cool with me?" "til the end" exchange happens that they actually get closer to each other, reflecting that Curt and Tatiana have actually bonded here.

Ok so remember that whole "omg the DMA doesn't have a daemon" thing? So the staircase scene is happening, and we have the v tragic exchange of "what about our secret...?" Owen replies with the standard "that secret died the night you left me for dead", raising his gun back up to Curt's head when...

There's a very quiet cawing noise, and Owen's daemon flies in.

We find out daemon separation is a requirement of working for Chimera, as it cuts out 'weakness' and allows agents to focus. So Eleanor has been here the whole time, but this is the first time we've seen her since the opening scene with the Russian Affair.

Curt and Jonah are of course all shocked by this, while Owen continues talking, giving his whole speech, still aimed at Curt. And then, Eleanor just flies down and lands next to Jonah, and the two immediately start nuzzling each other.

And Curt and Owen are so startled that they both end up lowering their guns and just watching for a moment. Because they hate each other. They betrayed each other. They're trying to kill each other. And yet... Here their daemons are, the literal manifestations of their true selves, unable to pull apart from each other.

SO they don't shoot each other, and leave together, still with a lot of clear tension and distrust between them. It's obvious there's a lot of work to be done, and it takes a lot of frantic explaining from Curt to stop Tatiana and Barb from trying to kill Owen when they see him, and even more so when Cynthia finds out.

But through it all, Jonah and Eleanor are still huddled close together, not moving an inch since they first saw each other again.

Just... Daemons AU man.

[eat-th3-god5]

I had a bunch of stories planned out that would go into the royal families of Niflheim and Lucis (not a whole lot but enough so that we get to know a bit about the women who got fridged for the sake plot), but words are hard lol

Here are pictures instead of what it would have been:

Niflheim's Late Empress and her paternal family

It's an EMPIRE! You're telling me that the late empress's family doesn't have any opinion on how the current empire is being run? How does the government/noble houses even work??? I've read enough isekais to medieval fantasy worlds to know that the king/emperor is not always almighty 😅

Aulea, Noctis's mother

So like... Why are there no photos of her around the Citadel? Why is there no mention of her even amongst the npcs? Did Regis love her??? What kind of woman did Regis marry??? I'm just so curious about her, and I strongly believe that if she were alive, FFXV would have been wayyyy different (not that I was gonna let her live lol). She's the competent one in the relationship.

Somnus's wife (R) and family (her sister, L)

What kind of woman would a man like Somnus choose to be his queen? And for what reasons would she agree, especially after he 'killed' his own brother in front of all the noble houses who attended the king reveal.

This one I actually finished writing as it wasn't a long one. It's more pro-Somnus, because I like Somnus, and even Somnus x reader/oc fics are pretty Ardyn biased. I just don't like Ardyn very much 🤷‍♀️

Not a woman, but it's my boy, Safay Roth Aldercapt, who never made it to the game

I like his concept art and I believe he would have added more to the Empire's background. We were robbeddddd! I planned to connect him to Ravus joining the Niflheim military, and having some Safay v. Glauca interactions. Safay Roth would have been High Commander, and Glauca his deputy (thus the 'Saf's on all those airships). Not really a villain like the V13 trailers showed.

Sylva Nox Fleuret

I actually don't really have an idea for her, so I never drew her. RIP to Luna's mom 😅

[sonnetthebard]

A Small TCB Concept/Idea/Theory? Mini Theory?

Okay, this one is just speculation based on like a few of my theories have been, but like... we pretty much know at this point that all TCB shows take place within the same universe, right? The references and crossover characters (and of course CHIMERA) are there. So the other day, after covering Pay Attention and whilst in the midst of writing a little Wayward Guide fic, I had this sort of revelation about how similar the puns from Barb and Paul are (and by similar, I mean equally cheesy). And then I got this idea that at this point I’m headcannoning until I’m proven wrong: Artemis and Paul are Barb’s descendants. Because SAF is in the 60s... it kinda tracks. Plus, here’s how I see it: Paul got Barb’s personality, Artemis got her brain. Now, I’m probably totally wrong and this is all coincidence, but... I say this a lot, it’s fun to think about! So I’m sharing it. If I’m wrong, or if you have anything to add... go for it!

[licensed-wheelbarrow]

thank you sm for your feedback on the Daisy/Ivy one shot- there are like three or four proper fics with that pairing out there and that’s just,, crap

So yeah congratulations on your good taste in DA ships!! And also in musicals bc tbh SAF is amazingggg

no problem!! the one shot was really good btw i loved the concept. also yea it sucks that theres not too many fics out there w them :/...

also omg another SAF fan this is so rad!!!! its by far my favorite of all the starkid/tcb musicals the soundtrack slaps SO HARD

[tracybirds]

Grandma Tracy is very important to me. Grandma and Scott together? Literally one of my faves. I have a lot to say about them, like a LOT. Have a fic :D

inspired by this post: https://meaningfulsuggestion.tumblr.com/post/162847439836/concept-i-hug-you-and-bury-my-face-into-your

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Grandma Tracy had been a mother since before she had first held her eldest child in her arms. She had kissed scraped knees, changed wet bedsheets, held her children tight to chase the nightmares away. And she found that when her children were grown, when Jeff’s nightmares were no longer vague terrors that she could scare away with a hug in the night, but concrete fears that reflected the worst moments in their life, she fell back on what she knew best and became a second mother to five young boys. She had a different name, ‘Mom’ no longer, but she knew her role well. She knew what her eldest grandson needed when she was called to his bedside by his strangled yell, still shivering in blankets covered in sweat.

She glanced back at Alan, staring wide-eyed, and Virgil, who had coming running as soon as he had heard his brother’s cry. “I’ll handle this,” she’d said and nodded approvingly as Virgil tugged his youngest brother away. The pedestal an eldest sibling perched upon was not something to be upended lightly.

She sat on the edge of his bed and gently stroked his forehead, hoping the light touch would be enough to stir him. She remembered how in the early days this was all the comfort Scott would allow himself, mourning and feeling the weight of responsibility for four younger siblings and a father too wrapped up in his own grief to reach out to his eldest boy.

“Scott?” she called softly, heart as twisted up in emotion as the sheets on his bed.

Scott kept muttering as he tossed his head one way then another, seeming to shrink away from her touch.

“It’s time to wake up, Scott,” she said firmly. “You hear me? It’s time.”

A strangled moan arose from the bed, cut off into a gasp as Scott shot upright. He looked wildly about the room, muscles tensed and ready for flight.

“It’s Grandma,” she said, keeping her voice soft. “Just your old Grandma.”

Recognition bled into his eyes as he stared at her. His breathing was still laboured but he drank in the sight of her, a symbol of safety and comfort and home.

“I’m not,” he said, then cleared his throat. “We’re on the island?”

“Sure are, kiddo.”

“Are they…” His voice faltered in the darkness. “Grandma, you’d tell me if there was something wrong, right?”

Grandma Tracy had sat by many bedsides in her time. She knows how a nightmare can warp reality, knows the uncertainty of truth in the moments that follow. She knows how to create a firm foundation for her boys.

“What do you think is wrong, Scotty?”

“Dad’s gone, isn’t he? We couldn’t save him?”

Sometimes she forgot how painful the foundation of reality actually was.

“Yes, Scott,” she told him, as though her own heart weren’t torn in two each time the truth was spoken.

“What about the others?”

“Everyone is safe,” she told him. “See for yourself.”

He struggled to sit up as she pulled up the security feeds around the villa.

“Look honey,” she said swiping through. “There’s Gordon safe outside, Kayo and Virgil and Alan are all in the kitchen together. Brains is down in the hangar.”

“And John?”

“John is just fine, sweetheart,” she said stroking his hair back. “He’s in his room on Thunderbird Five, see?”

“Are you sure?” he asked urgently, staring at the little red dot flashing on the screen. “He was so scared and I couldn’t get to him, Grandma.”

“Yes,” she said firmly. “Leave him be.”

“But how do you know?”

Grandma Tracy sighed and pulled him close. “I know he’s safe because I trust him to tell us if he’s not. Have a little faith in your brother.”

The crease between his eyes reappeared as Scott warred between his nightmarish conjurings and an instinctive need to listen to his Grandma as she swept her hand through his hair, protective and safe and full of a love that could envelop his fears and cut them down to size.

He leaned forward and Grandma Tracy caught him with a hug before he could curl in on himself and shut the world away for a while. Her arms curled around him and she held his head gently as Scott focused on breathing through his fear.

It was Scott who first taught her the difference between comforting her children and her grandchildren. Her children had needed someone to fight alongside them, to trap the monsters and chase them away. Her grandchildren needed her, steadfast in love and unwavering in her faith. They had needed a constant in their life and she had ensured that it was that she would always be there for them.

She held Scott tightly and ignored the tears he hid as he pressed his eyes into her shoulder, murmuring nonsense just as she did when he was a baby, a toddler, a child. His anxieties may have been larger and scarier than he could have conceived of then but that same reassurance was a comfort to him now as an adult.

“I’m not going anywhere, Scott, I’m not letting you go just yet.”

[gaymedievaldruid]

I'm not gonna answer all of these, but it's a rlly good excuse to talk abt my wips!

This is a Very Long post, and i don't actually expect anyone to read it, I just want to talk.

I have four wips, one semi-perminantly abandoned (maybe until I get inspiration back but eh idk), one that I last touched a few months back, and two which I've been hyperfixating on recently and I think have just gotten off the high from.

They're all fanfic, so in regards to some of the questions above eg. do you hope your works will become famous; no. No I do not. If I get any attention for my scribbles, I will combust. Anyways, my four wips are- a hp fic in which padfoot gets overly paranoid abt what happened to Harry and escapes early, sorta just running up and down the country until he finds him. He does, and stays as a dog as Harry manages to distance himself from the Dursleys. I got to the train and stopped. Don't know if I'll ever get back to this one, during the hiatus was when all the jkr transph*obic stuff came out and it's killed the wind

The second one is for Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch as a no magic AU! Very depressing, fittingly written in the midst of major depression, but I'm enjoying these characters finding each other and helping each other heal from grief, depression, addiction etc

The third and fourth ones are both for TCB's Spies Are Forever, because it is my favourite, and I love it. One is Curt Dies, Owen survives and (typically) blames himself but in the "it's his fault but I could have done something" way. Curt goes on to become the DMA, Owen goes on to avoid America at all costs BC Trauma! His first mission back on American soil features Tatiana being a badass, Owen kinda sorta being a better spy than Curt (okay but curt left spying for four years and Owen didn't), and Owen being kicked out of the CIA for vague treason reasons. Also they kidnapped Barb because she deserves to be part of the story. They're currently going to Monaco as I decide if I want these two spies to be Very Dumb, or out of character.

You can tell which ones I've thought about recently.

The other SAF fic is a private one, but one that I want to talk abt because it's very close to me and also no one can stop me. If anyone was part of the old Spies discord a few years back, you might remember a quarantined offshoot server about Mad King Owen. Not a lot of people liked MKO, but I love it! The Symbolism the Worldbuilding the Characters the Vibesss. Many headcanons were created there which I unashamedly use in my own SAF stuff.

Anyways this fic is a Spies Are Forever crossover with Mad King Owen (saf! And MKO!curt got swapped, the characters have no clue how it happened and neither do I). Literally nobody else is interested in this concept and yet here I am. This is also a Barb-heavy fic because her friendship with Curt is important to me as a trans ace individual. At the moment I have bare minimum ideas about plot, mostly just DMA doing science stuff and being an absolute riot, Curt trying to play with Wocka (SHOUTOUT TO WOCKA!!!) and Barb being awesome.

Right! That's 1) done. The rest of this will probably just be me addressing points that I can talk abt.

Scenes that I can't be arsed to get to? Jokes on you if you think I'm bothering to think abt that. I write the scene/dialogue/sentence and go from there. Minimal plot, minimal brainpower.

Not currently part of any of my wips, but I love writing TSS Janus! He's a lil angsty, but he is hurt from the split and trying to manage his anger and grief in a healthy way. Although MKO DMA comes in a close second. He's v Mysterious, never quite making it through a plan without some improv and drama and I can vibe. I never write his POV though, only other people (Inc. Wocka) seeing him do stuff.

I love Barb, but I don't really identify with her. I'd honestly have to say MKO Curt, because we have the same monkey brain energy. Also neither of us understand social cues.

I write either incredibly long sentences with multiple commas, too many clauses, and more triplets and metaphors than you can shake a stick at, or. Incredibly short ones. That make no sense on their own. Because they're cut halfway through by full stops.

Pfffft planning never heard of her

Title is definitely the hardest! I can do a summary no problem, tags i need to write as I'm coming up with the fic, but titles. Never. Come to me. Aagrhsodhbdisbajgshaghgg.

Do I reread old works? Yep, mostly to find where I left my most recent work. My fics are separated into docs by fandom, not into their own individual doc. It makes it harder <3 but is also good for giving you plot bunnies Abt where the unfinished ones might go, whichay or may not inspire me to write.

Gotta go figure out how to to a keep reading break on mobile, but other than that and the tags, i think that's it!

If you really want to, I'm gaymedievaldruid on ao3

Fun meta asks for writers

Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

What character do you have the most fun writing?

What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

How would you describe your writing process?

What do you envy in other writers?

Do you want your writing to be famous?

Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

Would you say your writing has changed over time?

What part of writing is the most fun?

[havenesc]

I was going to be a responsible adult but now I’m just going to go play FFXV until I die on the couch 

[to-be-a-dreamer]

Julie and the Phantoms AU

What's going on y'all I've been enabled so now y'all get some half-baked angst!

Huge thanks to @we-are-inevitable for helping me finish this AU because it's been sitting on the back burner for literal months and I could never figure out all the details on my own.

CW: death, homophobia, terminal illness, emotional abuse

Okay, so! Here's the characters we're working with (they're not perfect stand-ins, this is just the general role they'll be fulfilling in the story)

Jack Kelly - Julie Molina

Racetrack Higgins - Rose Molina (he's Jack's younger brother tho)

Charlie Morris- Carlos Molina

Medda Larkin - Ray Molina

Spot Conlon - Flynn Taylor

David Jacobs - Luke Patterson

Sarah Jacobs - Alex Mercer

Albert DaSilva - Reggie Peters

Katherine Pulitzer - Willie

Joseph Pulitzer - Caleb Covington

Bryan Denton - Tia Victoria

Don't ask about Nick and Carrie, we don't talk about them, they've caused me so many problems in this AU. There's a version floating around in my brain with Spot and Race as Nick and Carrie. I've been through some things.

ANYWHO I have no idea how to structure this post because there is so much going on so we're just gonna start and hope for the best. I think we'll go by character and talk about where each of them is at the beginning of the story because I don't 100% know how everything fits together yet. Fingers crossed that this is somewhat comprehensible.

(Also, in case you haven't watched the show, Luke, Reggie, and Alex are all members of the band Sunset Curve, who died in 1995 before manifesting as ghosts in 2020. So when I'm talking about David, Sarah, Albert, and Les, their backstories take place in 1995)

Jack Kelly

Jack loves music, it’s basically his entire life. He spends all his free time out in the garage writing and playing songs with his little brother, Race. They would always talk about making it big one day and becoming a famous singing duo. But really what Jack loved was being able to share something special with his brother. He never felt closer to Race than when they were making music together. The two of them would sit side-by-side at the piano with their youngest brother, Charlie, and their adoptive mother, Medda, listening to them play and joining in when they knew the words. Those impromptu little concerts with the three people he loved most in the world were some of the happiest memories of Jack’s life.

Then Race got sick. Then Jack had to watch his fun-loving, goofy, energetic little brother waste away in a hospital bed so quickly it made Jack’s head spin. Then Jack was left with a garage full of instruments he couldn’t bear to play and half-written songs he didn't know how to finish.

He's still close with his mom and Charlie, but there's been a... shift... in the air around the house. He's written some short poems, but nothing substantial, nothing like what he used to write with Race. Jack doesn't play the piano anymore. He doesn't sing in the car or the kitchen like he used to. He hasn't even so much as hummed since Race died. He can't. Every time he even considers making music all he can think about is Race using what little strength he had left to ask Jack to sing for him one last time. All he can see is his little brother taking his last breaths as Jack sang him a soft, desperate plea. ("You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Oh, please don't take my sunshine away")

Jack doesn't want to sing anymore. He can't sing anymore. So he doesn't. He tries to pretend that he doesn't need music anymore and just goes on with his life as best he can. He cheers at Charlie's Buddy Ball games and helps his Ma cook dinner every night and bothers his Uncle Denton at work and laughs with his best friend, Spot, and does everything he can to ignore the gaping hole in his heart.

He doesn't need music. Not really. He doesn't even want to make music without Race there to do it with him.

Jack Kelly does not need music.

He doesn't.

Don't ask why he still signs up to be in the music program the next school year. Don't ask why he can't bear to sell his keyboard like he told Medda he was planning to. Don't ask why he's so so disappointed in himself when he can't bring himself to just play when he's told he has one last chance to participate in music class before he gets kicked out.

It doesn't matter.

David Jacobs

David loves music, it’s basically his entire life. He loves singing, he loves playing guitar, he loves writing songs, he loves everything about it. He lives and breathes music, he doesn't want to do anything with his life other than make music to share with the world. That's the whole problem.

His parents have always told him he has great "potential". That he's smart enough to get into the top universities in the country and to get a full-ride basically anywhere. All he has to do is focus on his studies and fill out his resume with extracurriculars and work experience. Apparently, spending every waking hour of the day writing songs and rehearsing with his band doesn't count as "extracurriculars" to them.

He knows they just want what's best for him, he knows they just want him to get into a good college and get a good job one day. He knows that. But he just wishes they would understand that music is what he's passionate about, it's what he loves, and it's the only thing that makes him feel truly alive. David knows he's smart, he knows he could probably go to some big-shot college and become a lawyer or a doctor or something but he doesn't want to. He wants to write songs and share them with the world. He wants to do something actually meaningful with his life.

It's... tense... at home, to say the least. His parents get mad every time he brings home any grade less than an A, which is becoming increasingly more common as Sunset Curve, the band Davey started with his twin sister, Sarah, and their two best friends, Albert and Bobby, has started gaining some real traction in Hollywood. (I think Bobby is still Bobby, it doesn't really change anything about the story so he might morph into one of the Delanceys at some point, I dunno) His mom keeps signing him up for after-school activities against his wishes and then gets upset when he blows off the meetings to rehearse with the band. His dad keeps trying to get him a job at the company he works for but Davey never sticks around long enough for him to set up an interview. He manages to pacify them a bit by volunteering as an assistant coach for his little brother, Les's, little league team, but it barely helps.

The last straw for David is the day his sister, Little Miss Perfect Sarah, who had always followed every single outrageous rule and expectation his parents gave her, manages to work up the courage to come out to their parents and they act like she just confessed to a murder. There's a lot of yelling and, for the first time in his life, David worries that his mother might hit Sarah, she looks so angry. His sister leaves the house with tears streaming down her face and David moves to follow her before realizing he would be leaving Les alone with his parents looking absolutely murderous. He doesn't think they would actually hurt Les, but he's not taking any chances.

As David sits in bed with his little brother curled up at his side and trying to block out the sound of his parents fighting with each other over whose "fault" this was, David finally accepts what he's always tried to deny.

His parents would never truly accept him. He'd always wondered if he just did what they wanted, if he just worked hard to keep his grade up and joined all the clubs they wanted and got into a good college and got a good job that they would be proud of him. He had convinced himself that they would, that he was choosing their disappointment by pursuing a career in music.

But now he knew better. If they could manage to go from looking at his sister as if she'd hung the stars in the sky to borderline disowning her in a split second, they could never truly love him. Their love was and always had been conditional, and David had no intentions of fulfilling those conditions just to be accepted by the people who had never even tried to understand him.

Sarah came back after spending a couple nights at the studio (aka, Bobby's garage) but it didn't change David's mind. His mother kept insulting Sarah every chance she got and his father wouldn't even look at her. The twins spent a lot of time writing songs together at the studio, avoiding their parents together. Sarah insists that she's okay, that she had expected their parents to react the way they did and she just wanted to wait out the storm until they hopefully came around. David sees straight through her lie but doesn't comment on it.

David isn't sure what does it. But one day he's finally had enough. He comes home with yet another B- on an English paper and endures the lecture from his father and the screaming from his mother with a blank stare and no emotion in his heart other than mild disgust. Then he goes to his room, packs as much as he can into a duffle bag, and heads straight to Sarah's room. She knows exactly what he's doing without a single word exchanged between them.

"So that's it, huh?" "Come with me." "Davey, I can't" "Sarah, they're never going to change! Never. I know you want to fix things with them but there's nothing to fix. They never loved us. Not really. Not in the way you want them to." "Don't you think I know that? I'm not stupid, Davey, I know this isn't the way things are supposed to be but it's the way things are. And I- I know it's pathetic but I want them to love me. I want my parents back. So... so I have to try, Davey, just let me try." "...Fine. You know where to find me once you've had enough of their bullshit." "What should I tell Les?" "I- I'll figure that out later. I'll skip class and catch him at school before he gets on the bus and say goodbye then. I just. I can't stay here another second."

So Davey leaves and hides out at the studio. He never manages to catch Les in time to talk to him but Sarah tells him plenty of stories about what's going on at home. It took his parents three days to realize he was gone. They weren't happy. Davey couldn't care less about their happiness.

His parents don't even try to get him to come home, which just reinforces Davey's certainty that he did the right thing. According to Sarah, they're "waiting him out", expecting him to come running back to them within a week.

Davey never sees his parents again.

He's not particularly bothered.

Davey spends all of his time writing songs about anything and everything. Some of it meaningless, most of it not. He's never been that great at talking to people, so he pours every pent-up emotion he's been feeling for years into his songs. His anger towards his parents, his pleas to his sister, his regrets about his brother, his desperation to make something of himself. He writes about all of it. Some of the songs make it onto Sunset Curve's setlist, but most of them stay in his song journal.

His grades don't get any better or worse, but Sunset Curve gets big. Or, at least, big for a garage band of self-taught high schoolers with about $12 between the four of them. They start booking bigger and bigger gigs and they even manage to pull some favors and scrape together enough cash to self-record an EP.

Then their big break comes. A featured show at the Orpheum! It's everything Davey and his friends have been working towards for years. It's their chance to make it big, for real. Davey thinks about inviting his parents so they can see that he wasn't delusional, that his dreams weren't just stupid fantasies. But he talks himself out of it almost instantly. He doesn't need to prove anything to them. He doesn't want to prove anything to them. They already showed him their true colors and Davey didn't regret his choices.

The only thing he regrets is that he had to leave Les. His little brother didn't do anything wrong and he was one of the only good things about living in that house. He misses Les every single day and considers going back just for him. Sarah tells him that Les didn't handle his running away well and she can only do so much for him. Their parents haven't been taking out their anger on Les, that's the only thing giving David enough strength to stay away.

He knows it's for the best, he genuinely would have lost his mind if he had to stay in that house any longer. That doesn't make him feel any better.

His songs about Les stay private.

Sarah Jacobs

Sarah likes music. She likes her drums, even if her mother would prefer for her to spend more time practicing piano. She likes helping her brother write songs for their band and goofing off with her friends in the studio. But what she really loves is performing. There's just something about being on a stage in front of a crowd of people, buzzing with energy and knowing that she's about to blow them all away. It makes her feel absolutely electric and leaves no doubt in her mind that this is what she wants to do with the rest of her life.

If only she could muster up the courage to tell her parents that.

She admired Davey for how little he managed to care about what their parents thought. Maybe he just had a passion for music that Sarah lacked. Maybe there was more pressure on him to succeed, therefore it was easier for him to disappoint, and therefore it was easier for him to stop caring in the first place. Maybe she was just a coward.

As much as she knew that it shouldn't matter what her parents thought, as much as she knew she would be better off taking a page out of her brother's book and just doing what made her happy, as much as she knew she had what it took to succeed in music, Sarah wanted nothing more than for her parents to be proud of her. And that meant keeping her grades above a B, staying in ballet classes, going to a good college, and getting a "real" job.

Sarah hated herself for how well she played the role of Perfect Daughter. She hated how easily she slipped into the pleasant, kind, soft-spoken little girl her parents had raised her to be. She hated how she kept her head down whenever her parents ripped into David for whatever way he'd managed to disappoint them this time. She hated how no one knew who she really was, not even herself.

She wanted to be able to listen to the kind of music she liked and not be scolded for it. She wanted to wear clothes that felt like her and not like she was dressing up in a costume as someone else. She wanted to do and love and enjoy the things that she wanted to do and love and enjoy. She so was sick of pretending to be someone she wasn't. She wanted it to stop. Sarah Jacobs wanted to be herself more than anything else in the world.

Maybe that's why she did it.

Maybe that's why she had looked her mother in the eye and managed to gather up enough courage to be honest with herself for once in her life.

She wasn't sure what she had been expecting.

She knew what she had wanted. She had wanted her mother to prove her wrong. To look at her with the same amount of love and adoration she always had and to tell Sarah that she loved her no matter what she did, no matter who she loved.

Sarah isn't surprised to find herself sobbing alone, curled up on the couch in the studio after listening to two people who were supposed to love her unconditionally call her the vilest names in the English language.

And it hurts. It hurts so so much. She had always known, deep down inside, that her parents would never accept her for who she was. That was why she had always hidden her true self so deep down that even Sarah herself didn't know what her true colors were.

She had always known what would happen when she finally revealed those colors.

But knowing you're about to be stabbed doesn't make it hurt less. It doesn't stop the knife from piercing straight through your chest, making it impossible to breathe through the pain. It doesn't stop you from feeling the blade twisting inside your heart, destroying every last shred of hope.

She goes back home. David tells her to stay at the studio, that he'll take care of her there and that it'll be easier, in the long run, to cut their parents off then and there. She knows he's right. But she can't help but want her parents to love her again. If they had ever truly loved her to begin with.

So she goes back, she endures the anger and the hatred, she watches her brother leave her to pick up the broken pieces of their family all alone, she lets her parents blame her for David leaving, she lets Les scream that he hates her for not stopping him, and she lets him come back an hour later to sob through his apology.

She lets it happen.

And her parents stop screaming at her every time she walks by, resorting to ignoring her as if that meant she didn't exist. And Les stops begging her to convince David to come home, deciding he hates his older brother for leaving him and crying into David's pillow when he thinsk she wasn't looking. And Sarah plays her role of the perfect daughter when they're out in public, resisting the urge to flinch every time her mother puts an arm around her waist with a fake smile plastered on her face.

She had revealed one of her true colors and it had ruined everything.

She didn't regret it for a second.

Charlie Morris

Charlie is ten years old. That doesn't make him stupid. He understands what's going on around him, no matter how hard his mama and his older brothers try to hide just how bad things are. He knows why Medda is constantly working overtime, but makes sure it's only at night so she can spend every possible second at home with her boys. He knows why Jack looks so sad and lost all the time and why he can hardly bear to let his little brothers out of his sight for longer than a few minutes. He knows why Race isn't going to school anymore and why he doesn't help out at Charlie's Buddy Ball games like he used to and why he keeps waking up in the middle of the night with coughing fits so loud Charlie can't sleep through them even though their bedrooms are on opposite sides of the house.

He knows why Medda and Jack look so frantic when they can't get Charlie's big brother to stop coughing and just breathe and why Medda makes him and Jack stay in the other room when the ambulance comes and why Jack is holding onto him so tightly while they wait for Uncle Denton to arrive. He knows why the doctors and nurses keep giving him sad smiles while he sits in the hard, uncomfortable chair of the hospital waiting room and why his mama looks so sad when she tells him he has to say goodbye to his big brother and why Race looks so unbelievably tired as he manages to give Charlie a small smile.

He knows why Race doesn't say anything when Charlie lays down next to him and just wraps an arm around his shoulders, letting Charlie ramble about everything and nothing. He knows why Race rarely even opens his eyes over the next few days and why Jack stops driving him to school in the mornings. Instead, Uncle Denton picks him up and brings him to the hospital where Medda and Jack had spent the night. He knows why everyone looks so heartbroken when Race finally manages to stay awake long enough to talk and his only request is for Jack to sing to him.

He knows why his mama is hugging him tight to her chest, her tears soaking into his hair, as the steady beeping that was always running slowed to a stop. He knows why Jack breaks down into heartwrenching sobs as soon he finishes his song. He knows why Uncle Denton doesn't even say anything, he just pulls Jack into his arms and stares at Race. At his body.

Charlie knows why he's never going to see his big brother again. He knows why Jack won't even hum along to the radio anymore and he knows why Medda can't bear to touch anything in Race's room, even though there's dirty laundry on the floor and he knows she hates that. He knows why Uncle Denton keeps bringing homemade dinners over every single night and why he keeps smiling and joking as if nothing's wrong. He knows why his teachers don't seem mad when he doesn't have any of his homework done when he comes back to school two weeks later.

He knows what Medda and Jack mean when they sit him down and gently explain that Race had to "go away" to "be an angel". He knows that Jack can barely drag himself out of bed every morning and that Medda is struggling just to hold herself together as it is. He knows that they don't need him to be having a breakdown every time he feels like it (which is fairly often, if he's being honest). He knows that at least one person in his family needs to be okay.

So he tries his best to go back to normal, to tell Jack all about this day like he always does, even when he just wants his brother to hold him close and let him cry. Jack smiles every time, so Charlie thinks it's worth it. He tells his mama jokes and stories while she cooks dinner, even though he wants to tell her about how much he misses his brother and how angry he is that he had to go. Medda laughs at his jokes every time, and Charlie knows it's worth it.

Uncle Denton gets him a tablet for his eleventh birthday, and Charlie discovered pages upon pages of stories, information, and videos about ghosts and the afterlife. Charlie thinks a part of him knows that none of it is true, but come on, can you blame him for wishing there was a way to know Race was still out there somewhere?

That's all Charlie wants. He just wants his big brother back.

Les Jacobs

Les is ten years old. That doesn't make him stupid. He understands what's going on around him, no matter how hard his older siblings try to hide it from him. He knows that Davey and his parents are always one wrong look away from the next fight. He knows Sarah would do anything in the world to make their parents happy, even though they treat her like garbage. He knows that as soon as he's old enough for his parents to start setting expectations of him, he'll be going through the exact same things.

He knows that it wasn't Sarah's fault that Davey left, and he'll feel sick to his stomach for the rest of his life every time he thinks about the things he said to her when he was too angry and hurt to think straight.

He knows that Davey would have moved mountains for him, that he never would have left Les if he had any choice. But he still can't understand why he never even said goodbye. He can't understand why Davey never came back for him. He can't understand why Davey would leave him and Sarah to fend for themselves.

He can't decide which of his siblings is being braver, David for having the strength to get out while he still could, or Sarah for having the strength to stay and try to fix things. Either way, Les is glad to have her around and, years later, when he knows that those three months were the worst three months of his life, his biggest regret in the world is that he never took a break from his forced anger to tell Sarah how much he loved her.

His parents dismiss Sarah's invitation to the band's show with an air of annoyance and indifference, but Les couldn't be happier. Davey would be there. And as much as Les has been trying to hate his older brother for more-or-less abandoning him, he can't help but feel giddy at the prospect of seeing him again. Sarah arranges for him to ride to the show with Bobby's parents under the guise that Les is spending the night with a friend.

Les is giddy with excitement the whole week leading up to the show and, as Sarah tells him goodbye before she leaves a few hours early to run a soundcheck, Les barely even gives her a second look, too busy digging through his closet to find the matching shirt he and Davey had gotten on vacation the year before.

It's not until days later that he realizes that was the last time he saw his big sister alive.

He's not quite sure why Bobby's parents seem so worried when they arrive at the theatre. It's a bit empty outside but they are kinda early. He doesn't like how Mrs. Shaw squeezes his hand tighter while she speaks softly to the worker at the ticket booth with a mixture of shock and horror on her face. He can’t understand why Bobby is sitting alone backstage or why he bursts into tears the second he sees Les or why he can’t stop crying long enough to answer him when he asks “Where’s Davey?”

His parents don’t show up at the hospital for nearly four hours. No one can get ahold of them, apparently. Les isn’t sure where they could be. He doesn’t know what could possibly be more important.

Albert’s dad and brothers are around somewhere, Les saw them come in but they didn’t exactly exchange small talk.

Bobby and his parents are the ones to tell him what happened. Mrs. Shaw is the one to pull him in close and wrap him tight in her arms while he cries. Mr. Shaw is the one to hold his hand when they finally let him see his siblings after hours and hours of begging. Bobby is the one to hold him close when he runs out of tears and can’t bear to do anything else.

Les is ten years old. That doesn’t make him stupid. He knows that his parents are the reason Davey never came home. He knows his parents are the reason Sarah was so miserable all the time. He knows that maybe they couldn’t have done anything to stop what happened that night, but they sure as hell took away Les’ chance to say goodbye.

So when his parents finally show up having the audacity to look like they’d been crying, Les doesn’t run into his mother’s waiting arms when she calls out to him. He buries his head back in Bobby’s shoulder and ignores her, just like she ignored every desperate plea Sarah ever cried. He pulls away from his father’s uncharacteristically gentle touch and begins to walk away. And when his father tries to follow after him, like he never, ever did for Davey, Les yells at them to leave him alone, in the coldest voice he can muster.

He never quite remembers exactly what he said to them, but he knows it was all true. That they were the ones who drove Davey away, that they never once believed in him, that he was right to leave them, and that Les is surprised he stuck around for as long as he did. That they treated Sarah like she was nothing, less than nothing, that she had done everything for them, that all she had ever wanted was for them to love her. He tells them that his siblings died hating them and that he would die the same way.

He’s pretty sure Bobby’s parents stuttered out something about grief and Les not really meaning it but he did. And his parents knew he did. Because they knew he was right.

They could spend the rest of his childhood honoring his siblings and pretending they were heartbroken. They could keep trying to have a relationship with him and keep trying to “learn from their mistakes”. They could give Les the entire world and it wouldn’t change what they had done.

They had stolen something from Les that he could never get back, and he had no intentions of ever forgiving them for that.

Yeah so those are the only characters I've put a lot of thought into, so we're gonna do a rapid-fire version of the last four that are important to the plot. They'll all probably develop more as the AU goes on, and feel free to send an ask if one of them catches your eye!

Albert DaSilva

Listen, I love Reggie Peters with all my heart, he's probably my favorite character on the show. But I could not for the life of me figure out what to do with him in this AU. Jac suggested Albert be the third member of Sunset Curve and while I'm super excited to explore this version of the character, I have absolutely zero thoughts about his backstory.

Like, I guess I could do what I did with David and Sarah and just. combine his Newsies fanon backstory with his JATP counterpart's backstory, but I'm not 100% sure how to do that. He's definitely got some kind of daddy(?) issues 'cause I'm giving him Reggie's one-sided friendship with Ray/Medda

As of right now, Davey and Sarah are having a shared crisis, and Albert's just having fun hanging out with Medda and messing around with Charlie. He is simply vibing.

I told Jac that he would probably gain some trauma as the AU progressed and they responded, and I quote, "i cannot WAIT for this"

Send me an ask if you want Albert to get trauma and/or daddy issues.

Spot Conlon

Spot as Flynn is probably the best decision I have ever made in my entire life because they're such different characters but also they are exactly the same.

He’s doing all the same things that Flynn does, he tries to help Jack stay the music program, he gets mad when Jack lies to him about the band, he helps Jack get through the ups and downs of life, and he’s Jack’s #1 fan (he’ll accept being tied for first with Medda and Charlie)

It’s just. He’s also Spot. If you know what I mean. I don’t know how else to describe his role in the story, he’s Jack’s ride or die and that’s all there is to it.

Spot’s still a DJ I think, but I feel like he’s got a funny story for how he got into doing that. Or just how he ended up in the music program in general. Also, yes, during the I Got The Music scene, Jack does daydream Spot rapping. He’s very confused afterwards but I think it’s funny so it stays.

Joseph Pulitzer

He's taking on Caleb's role.

He's a creepy magician guy.

He manipulates his daughter.

He sucks.

That is all.

(I mean like I'll give him a backstory if you want but yeah, his main character trait is: sucks)

Katherine Pulitzer

Katherine my beloved!!!!

Okay so her backstory is incredibly involved with Pulitzer's (duh) so I guess this is kind of like a 2-for-1 type thing here.

Anywho, Katherine and her father were a double act together performing magic! I'm thinking around the 1970s or 1980s ish. She enjoyed performing but she wasn't a fan of her dad. He didn't really care about her, he just cared about how he could use her to make his show better.

She's only seventeen, so she doesn't really have a choice, but she's been making plans to get away from him the second she can, and then... well... she's not really sure. She's going to start out performing on her own, just to make enough money to keep a roof over her head, and then she'll figure it out from there. Maybe she'll find something she's actually passionate about. Maybe she'll be a performer for the rest of her life.

Katherine doesn't care. All she cares about is getting away and making something of herself. She doesn't care what she ends up doing with her life as long as it's something she can call hers.

Yeah so then a few months before her 18th birthday, one of her father's magic acts goes horribly, horribly wrong and that's the end of her story.

And then she becomes a ghost.

And now she's stuck under her father's thumb for the rest of eternity.

If only someone would come along and help her learn that she doesn't have to let her father define her and that she does have the power to stand up to him and take him down. And if only that someone was also very smart and funny and pretty and was a drummer in a 1995 rock band and was also struggling with figuring out who she was without her parents around to tell her....

IF ONLY

So yeah! That's more or less everything I have for this AU so far! I do have some ideas in mind for different scenes and overarching plotlines, so please please do drop an ask if you want to hear more! Ideas include but are not limited to:

Unsaid Emily scene but with Les! (I have a song in mind :D)

Wake Up scene but with Jack!

Les growing up and having to watch his siblings' best friend getting famous off the songs he stole from them (see it's even Worse because most of the songs are about his family because Davey wrote all of them)

Jack and Charlie having a nice little heart-to-heart about grief and such (it is criminal that we never got a scene between Julie and Carlos talking about how his obsession with ghosts and the supernatural was his way of coping with his mother's death)

Sarah and Katherine meeting for the first time

Albert telling Jack about Les (That scene from episode 5 where Julie calls Luke selfish and Alex+Reggie tell her about his mom)

Sarah running off to the studio after coming out to her parents (I have an idea for this scene that involves Albert! Mans gets to actually do things!)

Once again, huge thanks to Jac for their help with this AU and I hope y'all like it! I have spent two days writing this post instead of working on a paper that's due in 2.5 hours! Haha send help :D

[disaronnus]

“He calls to us from the icy depths of the Reichenbach”: The Pop Sherlock Exhibit & Arthur Conan Doyle Collection at Toronto Reference Library. Part 1/2.

Well it only took me...two months...but @devoursjohnlock, here’s the report you requested from the Pop Sherlock exhibit at @torontolibrary ’s Toronto Reference Library.

This got long, so I’m dividing it into two parts.

Part 1 is pretty much nonstop cracky goodness. Including original fanart and what I’m calling Picklelock.

Part 2 will be more Serious, as we tour the ACD permanent collection, with mentions of female fictional detectives and female detective novel writers through (Western) history. Also Stephen Thompson and Mrs. Hudson.

I happened to be in Toronto visiting my OTF, the fantastic @antheiasilva, for a couple weeks, so I was able to go to the library twice - once to Pop Sherlock, once to the Arthur Conan Doyle Room & permanent collection.

Now, I’m a newcomer to Sherlock and Sherlock Holmes in general, so much of the exhibit content was previously unknown to me. I imagine for a longer-term fan, some of it might have been old hat. (It was a fairly small gallery.)

That aside. I saw *amazing* memorabilia (book/comic covers, movie posters, advertisements, omg the ads). WHERE TO START. Oh. I know. (You have 3 hours of being stranded in the Porter lounge at Billy Bishop airport to thank for this one.)

WARNING: SUGGESTIVE IMAGERY below the cut. Hold onto your hats. (NOT actually nsfw, though.) Brief mention of butts follows.

CAPTION:

Original drawing in graphite pencil by yours truly, disaronnus, of a Tuck’s Saf-Tip Phosphate Enema advertisement, circa _?_.

Straddling and grasping the long curved tip of a Tuck’s Saf-Tip Phosphate Enema bottle, which leans against the box it came in, is a cartoon Sherlock Holmes, whom I’ve stylized as a mix of BBC Sherlock and Sidney Paget’s Holmes. (The actual ad utilizes classic Holmes iconography.)

The tip of the bottle is...extremely close to Sherlock Holmes’ mouth. The expression on Sherlock Holmes’ face might best be described as...beatific, like there is nothing Sherlock Holmes would rather be doing right now than clutching the tip of an enema bottle.

The packaging comes with the following Important Information on the side of the box: (I’ve taken some liberties here)

Directions For Use: It’s this or Cluedo Who cares about decent Brainy’s the new sexy Abstinence is not immortality Dead is the new sexy Pop round to Baker Street Who knows maybe jump out of a cake I don’t shave for SH Clueing for looks Both ends is too much work Don’t u want me on the floor too So in fact you mean I’m Emotional context it destroys you every time You say it Say it like you mean it Come at once if inconvenient If inconvenient come anyway

Warnings: From time to time we might just all be human Even you Even you

I DID NOT MAKE THIS UP. THIS WAS A REAL THING.

FIRST: I want to know what was going through the Tuck’s advertising executives heads. I mean, I also want to shake their hands and exchange fist bumps, but how the living fork did they decide what their enema ad campaign needed was a cartoon Sherlock Holmes, in the filthiest, most provocative position possible, short of him actually having the tip in his mouth?

SECOND: What are we supposed to infer from this helpful advertisement? That nobody knows more about clean butts and proper anal hygiene than the famous William Sherlock Scott Holmes? Well if you say so, Tuck’s Saf-Tip Phosphate Enemas. I won’t argue with you.

More Entertaining Highlights:

Some of these would make amazing fic prompts.

Mycroft Holmes spin-off novel covers:

“The Resources of Mycroft Holmes”: hard to imagine a more spot-on encapsulation of one of Mycroft’s most common characterizations in BBC fandom.

Addressing the tenderer side of Mycroft Holmes: “The Dorking Gap Affair.” You’re right, author whose name I don’t remember and should really google, Mycroft is a dork. An adorable one. He’s...adorking.

Mrs. Hudson spin-off novel covers: all the Mrs. Hudson crime-solving badassery I didn’t know I needed.

Mrs. Hudson in New York.

Mrs. Hudson, the Game’s Afoot.

Mrs. Hudson and the Spirit’s Curse.

Mrs. Hudson’s Diaries.

Most Baffling, Mrs. Hudson.

Note to self: go find some Mrs. Hudson fic stat.

A Joker/Sherlock Holmes special comic issue.

The cover illustration: a two-sided door with locks on each side; Sherlock Holmes is turning the key on one side, the Joker (”the clown prince of crime”) is turning the key on the other.

“In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king,” anyone?

Informational brochure entitled “Sherlock Sloans Takes the Mystery Out of Food Shopping: How to get the best for your money.”  I think we can all see the patent absurdity of this one.

A Claussen Pickles advertisement, called “Claussen Presents The Case of the Purloined Pickle.”  It depicts a thoughtful cartoon Sherlock Holmes in plaid examining the raised lid of a pickle jar.

OK Claussen. I see your ad, and I raise you one...Picklelock.

Sherlock: Jawwwwwwwn! Jawwwwwwwwwn!

John: what. WHAT NOW.

Sherlock: John, the last pickle is gone! Gone! *throws hands into air tragically, falls to knees on the kitchen floor* Somebody ate the last pickle! *whips out magnifying glass, frantically clues for looks looks for clues*  Who would dare eat the last Claussen pickle?! Moriarty. No. Dead. Moran? No. Prison. Life sentence -

John: Sherlock.

Sherlock: Gavin? No. Too busy hugging kittens.* The Woman? No. Too busy robbing banks with Molly. Magnussen?!?! No. Dead -

John: SHERLOCK IT WAS YOU, YOU BERK. LAST NIGHT? AFTER THE CASE?

Sherlock: Oh. Right. *clears throat* *snaps magnifier shut.* Well, I’ll have a very firm talk with myself about it.

* thanks @barachiki. your Lestrade and kitten series is a gift that keeps on giving

And lastly: the perfect premise for a 1950s pulp sci-fi Fusion AU:

“Shunning society and devoting himself completely to scientific research, he ["a legless heavy who hates war”] becomes a brilliant inventor who conceives a new engine of death - the CYCLOTRON-ELECTRON-ACCELERATOR-COSMIC RAY, with the idea of using this as a means of ending war. Or - is mentally warped, using the device for the purposes of revenge.

“Scientific Basis for the CYCLOTRON-ELECTRON-ACCELERATOR-COSMIC RAY...”

I can’t remember who the “legless heavy” is supposed to be; I don’t even know what a legless heavy is; but my brain assumed the script meant Holmes. I just realized that might be wrong. Anyway, this is an excerpt from an *actual* pre-production script draft of Sherlock Holmes in Canada, which became The Scarlet Claw, one of the Nigel Bruce and Basil Rathbone films (and losing the initial concept in the process). Pity.

Next Up in Part 2: we tour the permanent ACD collection, review some history of female fictional detectives and female detective novel writers, learn a bit more about Stephen Thompson, and salute Mrs. Hudson, Our Queen.

@88thparallel​ @fleurdelisandbees​ @devoursjohnlock​ @barachiki​ @inevitably-johnlocked @artfulkindoforder @a-different-equation @tendergingergirl @savagecatlady @tremendousdetectivetheorist @seriouslymarythough @antheiasilva

[salamoonder]

bro holy shit i'm a fan of both the bridge and spies are forever too! if you don't mind me asking, whats your fic about? (idk if you've posted about it before cause i just saw your post in the saf tag but i'm very curious cause bridge/saf crossover is already such a good concept)

hiya anon! i actually juuuust posted that a few hours ago and the idea is not super solid yet, but here’s what I can give you: it’s the saf characters in the bridge universe, and curt is a former crew member of watchtower ten. i’ll give more updates and maybe sneak peeks as i continue :)

[to-be-a-dreamer]

"i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you" for a fic title (i'm regretting this already)

Rae, what was that you were saying about me writing too much angst? I can’t remember. Anywho:

CW: child abuse, blood, mention of homophobic slurs

We're gonna do a Ralbert one, spice things up a bit (for me anyways)

I'm thinking a high school AU in which Race and Albert have been dating for a little over six months, but they're keeping it a secret because Al isn't out yet. Race has been out and proud since freshman year, but Albert's afraid of what his father would say/do.

So they don't tell anyone, not even their closest friends or Race's brothers. Gossip spreads fast in their little town and they don't want to risk it. Besides, they've been best friends since they were little, so the fact that they're so affectionate with each other isn't suspicious. (At least they think so. Race's brothers, Charlie and Jack, are very well aware)

While they're at school, out with their friends, or around any other person, they pretend they're just friends. Their relationship is made up of quick glances that hold a thousand words, touches that linger just a tad too long to be considered friendly, and stolen kisses from within every hidden alcove they can find.

The only place they can truly act like boyfriends is Race's bedroom (they don't do anything like that they just cuddle and kiss and talk all lovey-dovey in the ways they can't when they're in public)

And that's good enough for Albert. Sure, he'd love to be able to be with Race publicly, but he's happy just knowing that Race belongs to him, and he belongs to Race.

Loving Race in private already makes him feel like the luckiest person on the planet, he doesn't need anything more.

(It's not enough for Race, but Albert doesn't know that.)

So anyways, one day they're hanging out at Albert's house, not doing anything coupley at all. They are quite literally just existing but, at some point, Albert's dad calls Race the f-slur.

And Albert just goes off on his dad cause even if he's not out, even if he were actually straight, he would never let someone get away with talking to Race like that.

The argument quickly escalates into an all-out yelling match between the two of them and Albert is so mad he can't even care enough to worry about how angry his dad looks. Mostly because his dad has never hit him in front of another person before, but it starts to feel like a "first time for everything" kind of situation.

So he just grabs Race's hand and leaves, still yelling over his shoulder as the door slams in his face. He left his car keys inside so they decide to walk to the Larkin house. It's not that far, Albert used to walk there all the time before he got his license.

Albert is still very mad at his father so he rants the entire walk, apologizes for his dad's behavior, and then rants some more. He drops Race's hand as they pass by the busy corner store he knows their friends like to go to. Race wraps his arms tightly around himself so Albert doesn't try to take his hand again, even when they're in the clear.

It takes nearly the entire walk for Albert to calm down enough to realize Race hasn't said a word the entire time. Which is enough to make him stop instantly and force all the anger out of his voice.

"Hey, hey look at me. I'm sorry for yelling so much. Are you okay? We're almost home and then we can watch a movie or some-" "I can't do this anymore"

At first, Albert thinks Race is just upset about what happened, which he has a right to be, so he tries to apologize for his dad again but Race cuts him off.

He's done, he's done sneaking around, he's done lying to his family, he's done pretending they're just friends. Race doesn't want to keep hiding, he wants to love Albert publicly but he can't, and that kills him. And as he keeps talking, Albert can tell that this has been coming on for a while, it wasn't just what his dad said.

Al tries to talk him out of it, of course. He promises that they can do more, that they can be more open. They can hold hands at school, they can go out on dates where no one knows them, maybe they can even tell their friends! But Race says no. He won't let Albert put himself in danger like that.

"You heard what your dad was sayin', and that was just about me! Imagine what he'd do if he knew, Al, you can't just... If we keep doing this, he's gonna find out, you know he will, and I'm not gonna be the reason you get hurt, you hear me? If keepin' you safe means we can't be together then t-that's an easy decision for me."

And so that's that. They go into Race's house and try to pretend everything's fine in front of Jack and Charlie. (Albert tried to go back home but Race wouldn't let him, not with how furious his father had looked when they left.)

Everyone notices that something's wrong. Race's brothers, all their friends, even the teachers. But neither of them can tell the truth, so all they did was trade one secret for another. Except now they don't have each other to lean on.

Race is coping (barely). It hurts, a lot, but he's been considering a break-up for nearly a month at this point; hearing all of the awful things Albert's father said just gave him the final push he needed. He loves Albert, but he's not going to let him get hurt by being in a relationship with Race. He would never be able to forgive himself. That's the only thing keeping him from calling Albert at two in the morning when he misses him so much he can barely breathe.

Albert is decidedly not coping. He and Race had only been dating for about six months, but he couldn't remember a time in his life when they weren't best friends. They'd been attached at the hip since they met, and he's never not been able to talk to Race about anything and everything. So it's not just the fact that he lost Race as a boyfriend, he also lost Race as a friend, and that's the part that hurts the most

So he breaks. He's eating dinner with his dad and his older brothers, barely even listening to the conversation, when he hears that word again. They're throwing it around like it means nothing, laughing like it's some joke. And all Albert can think about is how he wants to call Race and talk about how awful he feels having to listen to his own family say such horrible things. How he wants nothing more than to call them out and teach them better. How he knows he can't because they'd never listen to him. And Race would tell him it's not his fault that they're stuck in their prejudice and it's not his responsibility to teach them to be better. He'd say that keeping himself safe is more important than trying to change the minds of people who don't want to change.

Albert just wants to talk to his best friend.

But he can't, and even if he did, the problem he wants to talk about is the exact reason Race broke up with him in the first place and he knows Race is probably right but he just misses him so much and his family won't stop saying that word.

He didn't even mean to say it, it just slips out before he can stop himself. He can barely even believe he'd actually done it but the conversation goes dead silent and when he looks up there are three pairs of eyes staring him down. His brothers look like a couple of deer caught in headlights, but his father is absolutely thunderous.

His brothers laugh awkwardly and try to divert the conversation, but Albert just lifts his chin and looks his father dead in the eye. It's done now. If he's going down he's going down with his head held high

His father doesn't yell, which is a surprise. Albert had thought he'd scream for at least a few minutes before he threw the first punch. But his father starts hitting first and then adds the shouting. Albert's not really paying attention to what he's saying, but he can make a pretty good guess.

He gets away, somehow. He thinks one of his brothers managed to get their father off of him long enough for the other to pull him to his feet and shove him out the door. He yells at Al to run and then the door slams shut.

Albert can hear more shouting and something breaking, probably a plate getting thrown at a wall (he hopes it's a wall). He takes the advice and runs. He's not even paying attention to where he's going but he isn't surprised when he ends up turning onto Race's street. He doesn't slow down until he can see the house that feels more like a home than his own. Some of the adrenaline wears off and he starts to feel the damage his father did.

It's still fairly early in the evening, but Albert doesn't want to knock on the front door if he looks half as bad as he feels. He goes to Race's window and knocks on it four times, the signal they came up with in middle school.

Race almost doesn't answer. He thinks he knows what Albert wants and it's not a conversation he wants to have again. But the second he gets a glimpse of Al's face he throws the window open instantly and pulls him inside. He doesn't even ask what happened, he already knows. Race calls out for Medda immediately and is met with several protests.

"Come on, she's gonna freak out, don't-" "I'm freaking out, Al, at least Ma knows how to hide it."

And she does. She gets Albert patched up without letting the kind, concerned expression fall for even a second, despite the rage bubbling beneath the surface. She's going to be having a very long conversation with Mr. DaSilva in the morning. She decides they don't need to go to the ER right now, but they might later if he starts showing signs of a concussion. By some miracle, nothing's broken so she just cleans the blood off Albert's face, puts a bandage over the cut on his temple, and gives him an ice pack for his headache.

Once she leaves to find some pain medicine, Race turns to Albert and gives him a look. And Albert has to explain what happened, what his family was saying, how angry and alone he felt, how much he just wanted to call Race and talk like they used to. And then...

"I didn't even mean to say it, honest! I know you're gonna be mad but I swear it just slipped out!" "Al. What did you do?" "I-I told him that I'm gay."

And Race is torn between being angry (because this is exactly what he told Albert not to do), proud (because Race had a hard enough time coming out to his own family and had known they would be supportive), and sympathetic (because even though they both knew how his father would react, Race knew it had to hurt, opening yourself up like that to someone who was supposed to love you unconditionally and getting it thrown back in your face)

He wants to yell, he wants to be angry, but Albert just looks so heartbroken and... almost... uncomfortable? Like he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be here, in this house that was the first place either of them had ever felt truly safe. And Race just can't bring himself to be mad (and yeah, he missed Albert too)

So while Albert waits for the inevitable lecture, Race leans forward and pulls his best friend into a hug. Just holds him close and rubs his back and mutters encouragement in his ear and lets Albert cry.

Things aren't all better now. Race still doesn't want to be in a relationship if they have to keep it a secret, his heart couldn't take another second of that. Albert doesn't know when or if he'll ever go back to his own house, or what might be waiting there for him when he does. They need to talk. About a lot of things. About everything. But they have each other back now, and they're never going to let go, no matter what comes next.

And when Medda comes back with the medicine (okay maybe she took a little bit longer than necessary), she just smiles and leaves the bottle next to the two boys who had fallen asleep in each other's arms.

[to-be-a-dreamer]

fic title:

souvenir for my darkest day

lyric from: Big Cat Judgement Day - With Confidence

I just want everyone who was a part of the conversation in the discord to know that I had already started this before that, I didn't do this just to spite you guys. I may have made it a bit worse but...

This is so freaking long my goodness.

CW: death, guns

So, we start with Spot Conlon, the least sentimental person on the planet. He doesn't like to hang onto physical objects unless they have a practical purpose, he just doesn't see the point.

Now, he cares about his friends a lot, and they know that. He may not keep the things they give him but he remembers everything they tell him. Spot has never forgotten a birthday, he knows everyone's allergies, even the weird ones that aren't actually a problem, and he'll remember the smallest of details, even if he was only told once.

"Hey I was at the store and I got you some ice cream cause I noticed they had that brand you tried on vacation once but could never find again." "Wh- when did I tell you about that?" "Four years ago"

Enter Racetrack Higgins, the most sentimental person you will ever meet. This boy has an entire box full of random stuff he just found and thought was cool. Most of it is quite literally garbage, but he always cleans it before adding it to his stash. He also remembers exactly where every single thing came from

"Yeah, so this is a rock I found at a playground we stopped at on the way back from a field trip in the seventh grade. And this is a broken fork I found in the school cafeteria that I took cause I thought it was funny that someone managed to break a metal fork and just put it back in the basket. And this is an empty bottle of bubbles that's shaped like a cat. It had bubbles in it at one point, but I used them all cause I got it at a Halloween party freshman year of college and we were having a contest to see who could make the biggest bubble that didn't pop."

Every flat surface in his apartment is covered in little knickknacks, his walls are plastered with photographs, and he has saved every single gift he has ever been given, even if he hated it. He knows the story behind every single thing in his home and it's basically a physical representation of his love for his friends and family.

ANYWAYS the two meet, of course, probably at work or something and they start taking their lunch breaks together. And as they walk to and from the office (or wherever they work, idk) Race tends to stop at least three times a day to pick up whatever random object on the ground catches his eye. He finds a lot of coins, sometimes a neat-looking rock, occasionally something "useful" like a pen. Mostly a lot of random trash that most people would throw in the garbage immediately.

Spot thinks it's silly and teases him, but he always stops and lets Race pick up whatever he found. Race always hands it to him, so Spot looks it over and then hands it back, not realizing that Race is trying to give it to him to keep.

This goes on for literal years and at some point, they start dating. Race still holds onto every broken button he finds on the street, and Spot was going to donate his class ring before Race talked him out of it.

"I graduated six years ago, why would I keep it?" "You are utterly hopeless."

They're an interesting pair, but they work somehow.

Spot gets Race a flower press so he can keep the flowers and leaves he picks up on their walks. (The little nicknacks that cover their shelves are less annoying than he thought they would be because looking at them reminds him of Race.)

Race tells Spot every single detail about his day because he knows remembering those little things is how Spot shows that he loves him. (And his heart absolutely melts whenever his boyfriend brings up some random little tidbit he told him months prior in casual conversation like it's nothing)

One night, they're out on a walk again, and Spot notices a penny on the ground that Race doesn't and picks it up. He tries to give it to Race because he knows he probably wants it, but Race refuses, saying that Spot's the one who found it, so he gets to keep it.

"Now you've got a lucky penny all of your own!"

And Spot doesn't want this random penny, but Race is just so excited that he decided to pick something up himself that he just smiles and sticks it in his pocket, planning on putting it in the spare change jar when they get home.

That, uh, that doesn't happen.

They decided to stop at a little corner store and get some snacks and drinks before they went home. The only other person there was a young man, probably a few years younger than them with his hood pulled up to cast a shadow over his face. He seemed kind of shifty to Spot, but he brushed the feeling off, assuming the kid was gonna try to buy cigarettes with a fake ID.

Instead, the kid strode quickly to the front counter and pulled out a gun, demanding all of the money in the register. It must have been his first robbery 'cause the kid was jumpy, too jumpy to be holding a gun. Afterward, Spot couldn't even explain what went wrong, it had all happened so fast. All he knew was one second he was standing next to his boyfriend who was shaking like a leaf and the next there was a deafening bang that left his ears ringing.

I won't go too far into detail, you know what happened.

I will, however, tell you that Spot clung onto Race as tightly as he dared, watched him struggle just to breathe, and knew he couldn't do anything to help. All Spot could do was hold him and watch his eyes slip closed for the last time, listen to his labored breathing slow to a stop, feel him go limp against his chest.

He didn't let go until the police showed up (too late, always too late) and forced him to.

And throughout everything he had to do over the next few days, talking to the cops (no he didn't see the man's face, he was a little preoccupied with his boyfriend dying in his arms), telling all his friends and family what happened (no he wasn't alright, he lost the love of his life), and sitting through what felt like a million memorial services (no he didn't want help with meals, he just wanted Race back), the one and only constant in his life was the penny that he clung onto like a lifeline.

Spot wouldn't have been surprised if there was a hole in Abe Lincoln's forehead where he rubbed straight through the metal. The coin had hardly left his hand since he'd been forced to let go of Race's body. He had pulled it out of his pocket, gripped it tightly, and ran his thumb over the engraving.

And he kept doing that, for the first week after Race died, then into the first month, then the first year. Sometimes the feeling of that penny in his hand was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

His lucky penny, Race had said.

How lucky indeed.

[to-be-a-dreamer]

42 and Javey?

So yeah I did it again, what of it? Kidding kidding, sorry again for taking ages to write the response to this ask game, but to make up for it it's quite long! Not really, it would have been this long even if I had only taken two days, but you get the idea.

42 is Bones in the Ocean by The Longest Johns!

Do I get to write a Javid Pirate AU? Javid Pirate AU!

CW: referenced past character death; implied attempted suicide; survivor's guilt

Bones in the Ocean is about a sailor who is the sole survivor of a shipwreck and has a bad bad case of survivor's guilt. I'm thinking Jack will be our survivor because the plot I have in mind is just very Jack Kelly. Also, I'm pretty sure the narrator is meant to be the captain of the ship and... yeah Jack Kelly, this is just Jack Kelly there's no discussion here. Also it’s going to be about pirates because of course it is.

Obligatory disclaimer that I don't know how pirates work and if it feels like I'm ripping off every popular pirate movie ever made, that's because I am. If I ever end up making this a real thing I will do research, but this is just a fun concept that I'm writing at 1:00 am so if there are any major inaccuracies just ignore them I guess.

I don't think we would start out with the actual wreck itself. I really like the idea of opening with Jack being rescued from the island, completely out of food and fresh water, practically on death's door. The crew of the merchant ship that picks him up immediately recognizes him to be a pirate but rescues him nonetheless. Once he recovers, he makes himself useful onboard and is clearly one of the best sailors on the ship. But, because he's a pirate, most of the crew doesn't trust him and urges the captain to turn him over to be arrested as soon as they reach the shore. (Maybe he's a famous pirate and there's a large bounty out for him? Maybe he's just Some Guy and the king is offering a reward for any pirate who's turned in, I dunno)

I really like the idea of Pulitzer being the merchant captain and Katherine being his second-in-command. (Is it out of character for Pulitzer to respect his daughter? Maybe, but this is my circus and I get to choose the monkeys.) Throughout the journey, Jack and Katherine grow to be good friends and Jack tells her about what happened to his crew. She can tell that he's a good man and, even though he's a criminal, he doesn't deserve the punishment given to captured pirates (probably death? I dunno, how historically accurate is Pirates of the Caribbean?) Katherine helps him escape once they arrive at their destination and Jack absolutely runs for the hills. He manages to get a change of clothes so he isn't obviously a pirate and uses some of the money Katherine gave him to get a room in the next town over.

Oh yeah, throughout all of this, Jack has been having nightmares about his crew and the wreck. I wouldn't reveal it all at once, I want to weave this story in with Jack's. At this point, all we would know is that Jack was the captain of a pirate ship called The Banner with a crew that felt like a family. He loved his crew (all of the Newsies) like brothers and he felt responsible for all of them. We wouldn't know what caused the ship to sink yet, but Jack would be getting flashes of it happening. He's haunted by the visions and the sounds of his crew, his brothers, crying out for help.

Jack isn't really sure what to do now. His ship is gone and his crew is gone. He has the money Katherine gave him but it was only enough to live off of for a few months. She gave it to him so he could start a new life, asking him to leave the pirate's life behind and get a good, honest job. To be the man she knew he could be. Katherine Pulitzer was a smart woman, but if she had half a brain, she must have known that Jack Kelly was not one to settle down. (And yeah, maybe the voices of his lost crewmates keep haunting his dreams and he feels like they're calling him back to sea but that's probably nothing, right?)

Within a few weeks, Jack hears word that the infamous Captain Spot Conlon is putting together a new crew for his latest voyage. Let's say he's looking for some kind of legendary treasure, this is a pirate story, after all. Anyways, Jack gets a place in Spot's crew, one of the lowest positions, but he's back on a ship, which is good enough for him.

For the first major leg of the journey, Jack keeps his head down, does his job, and just gets adjusted to the new crew. He's not the captain anymore, and Spot runs his ship a lot differently than Jack ran The Banner. There's not as much camaraderie, and while there are friendships, he feels as if everyone is competing with each other, ready to stab their friends in the back at a moment's notice if it means moving up in the ranks. He misses his crew, his family, and his nightmares only get worse as they get further out to sea. His bunkmates do not appreciate it.

Through Jack's nightmares, we have learned a bit more about his crew, how he ran his ship, and who held which position on the ship. We would also learn that his ship sank due to a violent storm. They were close to an island and crashed on some large rocks that they couldn't see through the wind and rain. While not explicitly stated at this point, it's implied that Jack believes the wreck was his fault; that if he'd been more skilled, maybe he could have saved his crew. I think I would also have mentioned the whole "a captain always goes down with his ship" thing a few times, but not in regards to Jack. I want the reader to wonder if Jack abandoned his crew or if there was more to the story that caused him to head for land instead of staying with The Banner.

By the time they're only a couple of weeks out from their destination, Jack has quickly risen through the ranks and drawn the attention of the captain and his first mate, Davey Jacobs. Spot is curious and a bit suspicious as to how such a skilled sailor ended up in his crew out of nowhere. At this point, Jack is probably an "apprentice" to the sailingmaster but is obviously more skilled than his mentor. Spot asks Davey to keep an eye on Jack, so Davey strikes up a simple conversation while checking in with the sailingmaster.

Jack doesn't really say much to Davey at first, he just answers the questions asked as vaguely as possible. But Davey keeps coming by and eventually they start having real conversations. Davey asks how he's liking the ship, and Jack admits that the captain and the crew are a lot different than he's used to. He tells Davey a bit about The Banner and how things were when he sailed with it. (other than the fact that it sank and he was the captain) Jack speaks about those days with such a beautifully sad longing in his eye that Davey can tell it was something special, but he can also tell that something terrible happened. He can't imagine why Jack would leave such a wonderful crew if he didn't have to.

When Spot asks him about Jack later that week, Davey tells him that Jack was a high-ranking crew member of another ship but was looking for something new. He wanted an adventure, just like everyone else on board. Spot accepts his half-truth and Davey continues his odd friendship with the odd man.

They arrive at whatever un-mapped island Spot was looking for and the higher-ranking crew members head to shore. Jack is just barely included in this group and pushes away the voices of his old crewmates that follow him on the wind. He's started hearing them while awake now. It's probably nothing.

Anyways, the treasure is cursed because of course it is and Spot's crew have to fight off skeletons or zombies or water spirits or something, I don't know, it's not important. What is important is that Jack is one of the best swordsmen Davey has ever seen in his entire life. The saber is practically an extension of Jack's own arm, and he wields it as if it were as natural as breathing.

The fight is hard, a few lives are lost, but they manage to win. But not before Jack sees an enemy creeping up on Spot's blindspot and saves him at the last second. They finish the enemy off together and by the time they get the treasure back to the ship, Spot and Jack have become something like friends.

Spot isn't quite as cruel and cold-hearted as the rest of the crew seems to think he is. He's sharp-minded and calculated and more soft-hearted than he's willing to admit. He knows a ship needs order to run and chooses to keep it through intimidation. Where Jack built up trust slowly and personally with each and every member of his crew, Jack can tell that Spot relies on his reputation to keep his crew in line, only allowing his closest officers to see his true self. Jack respected it, he supposed, but it wasn't for him. Spot seemed lonely, even if he had his officers for companionship. Jack feels he would miss having a close relationship with all of his crewmates, from his first mate to the newest cabin boy, he knew all of their stories and they all knew his.

The fight hit them harder than Jack realized. When he arrives at his post the next morning, the sailingmaster informs him that they'll be changing routes. They're going to head to the nearest port to restock supplies and then head back on course. As Jack reviews the maps, the voice of his mentor is drowned out by the thudding of his heart. The new course is going to put them on the same path The Banner was sailing on when she sank.

They would pass right by the island that stole the lives of the closest thing Jack had to a family.

It's several weeks before they make port, but it all feels like a blur to Jack. He numbly goes through the motions of his job, certain his mentor and Davey notice the change in his demeanor. He can't bring himself to care. The nightmares are worse. More violent and vivid than before. He dreams of nothing but the wreck, not even of the days before. He no longer hears the laughter and singing of his brothers happily at work, only the screams and cries as they call out to him for help. They follow him into the waking world and taunt him from the shadows. Visions of harsh winds whipping at ripped sails, terrified faces searching for missing friends, and flickering fires spilling out from broken lanterns flash in Jack's mind every time he closes his eyes.

When they make port, Jack has half a mind to make a run for it, to leave the life of piracy behind and find a nice, simple job somewhere far away from the ocean, like Katherine had said. But Davey corners him after the last of the cargo is loaded onto the ship and invites Jack to get a drink with him at a local pub.

It takes very little convincing for Jack to confess everything. He's quite sleep-deprived, after all. He tells Davey that he was the captain of The Banner, that it sank only six months before he joined Spot's crew, that he spent nearly two weeks alone on an island before he was picked up by a merchant ship and managed to escape imprisonment with help from the ship's second-in-command. He tells Davey about the storm and the rocks that caused his ship to sink and confesses that he feels intense guilt for what happened to his crew.

And, of course, Davey gives the whole "you're the best sailor I've ever seen and I can tell you were an amazing captain" talk. He tells Jack that it's not his fault and that his crew would be happy that he managed to survive and keep sailing.

But Jack just shakes his head and tells Davey that's not what he meant. He doesn't feel guilty that The Banner sank, he knows there was nothing he could have done. He asks Davey if he's heard of the saying "a captain always goes down with their ship". Davey has, of course, and starts reassuring Jack that he shouldn't feel guilty about being the only survivor, that there's no shame in wanting to live. But Jack cuts him off and tells Davey that he planned to die as soon as he realized the ship was going down. He had accepted it, especially since most of his crew was already gone by the time the ship was really starting to sink.

As he was drifting in the ocean, waiting for the burning in his lungs to stop, he saw someone still alive in the water, just barely keeping their head above the surface. At that moment, Jack made the choice to make one last fight; if he could save one member of his crew maybe it wouldn't have all been for nothing, maybe it could actually mean something.

He managed to drag Charlie to shore and they waited out the rest of the storm together in a small cave on the beach. Jack did his best to clean and treat the large wound on what used to be Charlie's good leg, gave him all the food and water that washed up on shore from the wreckage, and begged him to hang on until they could be rescued. But in the end, it didn't matter. The infection took him within a few days and all Jack had done was prolong his best friend's suffering.

And oh, Davey tries his best to help Jack, to assure him that he did everything he could and that his crew would have been proud of him for surviving. But Jack just downs the last of his beer, thanks Davey for the drink, and heads back to the ship without another word.

What he doesn't tell Davey is that he doesn't feel guilty for The Banner sinking, he doesn't feel guilty for not being able to save his crew, he doesn't feel guilty for refusing to go down with his ship, and he doesn't feel guilty for Charlie's death.

The source of Jack's borderline night terrors that plague him every hour of the day is the shame that he didn't have the strength to join his crew after burying Charlie. That he was so much of a coward that he couldn’t jump back into the sea and let it claim him as well. That he sat on that beach and fought against the fates for two whole weeks and then had the nerve to climb aboard that merchant ship when they offered to rescue him.

Jack can't imagine what his crewmates must think of him, the great Captain Jack Kelly abandoning his own brothers and embarking on a grand new adventure as if they had never existed.

The nightmares take a shift at this point. Instead of visions of the wreck itself, Jack begins to see haunting images of his lost crewmates, their clothes heavy with saltwater, hair tangled in seaweed, eyes sunken and empty, and skin littered with bruises and cuts and burns. They whisper something, but Jack can never hear what they're saying over the harsh winds. He can make a guess.

As the ship grows closer and closer to the watery grave of The Banner, Jack begins to sleep less and less. He's by no means free from his nightmares while awake, but it's easier to ignore them when he busies himself with work. His mentor (I've decided it's Denton) begins giving him simpler tasks than usual, noticing the darkness under his eyes and the sluggishness of his movements. Davey never seems to let Jack out of his sight and that frustratingly concerned gaze constantly burns into Jack's back. Even Spot approaches him once or twice to tell him to turn in early, teasingly stating that he appreciates the dedication but he can't have his crew kneeling over from exhaustion. The hand on Jack's shoulder lingers a bit longer than necessary and he can physically see the unasked question on the tip of Spot's tongue.

After the month or two it takes for them to reach The Banner's final resting place, Jack is hardly more than a ghost. He tries his best not to think about how close they're getting but his job is quite literally navigation, so he doesn't exactly have a choice when he spends all day tracking their location on a frustratingly detailed map.

It ends up being nighttime when they pass by the island and Jack has been on the daytime crew ever since they left port. He suspects Davey had something to do with that decision. It should have been so easy for him to just go to sleep after his shift, block out the terrified screams that never seemed to leave him alone these days, and ignore the flashes of whipping wind and harsh rain.

When Jack gets out of bed and wanders onto the deck, no one spares him a second glance. It’s not exactly an uncommon sight anymore, so when he walks slowly, almost as if in a daze, none of his crewmates even notice. Except for Davey. He rolls his eyes and calls out to him, telling him to go back to bed like he does every time he catches Jack out late at night. But he doesn’t get the usual crooked little smile that Davey secretly loves so much or some poetic nonsense about how pretty the moon is tonight. In fact, Jack doesn’t even acknowledge Davey in any way, he continues on his path until he’s leaning out over the railing of the deck.

Jack didn’t hear a word that Davey was saying. He couldn’t hear anything besides the voices of his old crew, his brothers. Of course, at this point, that was nothing new, he’d been hearing their voices for nearly a year now. However, instead of the typical cries for help and screams of anguish, Jack hears laughter and singing, a common sound to hear on The Banner, but one he hasn’t heard in so long he’d almost forgotten how it sounded. 

He can see that horrible, godforsaken island out of the corner of his eye and he knows that if he went looking he would find a crudely made gravemarker shoved into the ground just outside of a blood-stained cave. He doesn’t think about it, though. In fact, it barely even registers in his mind. The voices are calling to him, drawing him closer and closer to the edge of the ship.

Jack Kelly has spent a full year longing to see his family again, to hold his brothers in his arms and laugh with them and pretend everything was okay again. And as he’s leaning over the side railing of the ship, staring down where he knows the remains of his family lay, he knows exactly how to make that dream come true. He can stop the nightmares, and stop the screams that follow him in the daytime. He can be with his family again.

Davey was already heading towards Jack to make sure he was okay. He’d been acting pretty out of it ever since they had to change course, but his behavior had never been this weird. He could have sworn his heart actually stopped as he watched Jack climb up on the railing, one hand on a running line and the other lose at his side. The man was staring down at the dark waters below with such a heart-shattering look of despair that it made Davey falter for a split second. 

He calls out to Jack, softly, so he doesn’t startle him. Jack slowly turns to look at him and Davey tries to talk him down. He knows the story of The Banner, he knows that Jack is hurting, but he didn’t know it was this bad. There must be more to this story, so he takes it slow, unsure of how fragile Jack might be at the moment. 

It’s not clear to Davey exactly how it happens. He can’t tell if the rough wave that jostled the ship without warning caused Jack to lose his grip on the running line, or if the man simply… let go. He supposes it doesn’t matter, not really. What matters is that in one instant Jack looked as if he might actually be hearing his words, and in the next he was falling towards the water. 

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t know the specifics of how the rest of this scene goes, that’s why it’s taken me so long to get this done. But what I’m imagining is Jack either hearing or seeing something in the water that changes his mind. He realizes this isn’t the way to fix things, that Davey was right: his crew would be happy he made it, they’d want him to live his life to the fullest, to do what they couldn’t. That would be the right way to honor their memory. Not this. They would never want this.

So Jack tries to right himself in the water, to swim back up to the surface but he’s been under for so long and his lungs are starting to burn. He thinks he might have figured out which way was up and starts swimming in that direction, but he can’t be sure. As his lungs are screaming for air, Jack could swear he sees someone splash into the water a few meters above him, but his vision goes black before he can tell one way or another.

Of course, Davey saved him. Jack wakes up a day or two later in the sick bay with Davey passed out in a chair beside him, and a very angry (yet weirdly concerned) looking Spot Conlon glaring at him from across the room.

“Listen, Kelly, I don’t know what happened to you before you joined this crew, and I frankly don’t care. What I care about is that Davey here, for some godforsaken reason, does care about you. So if you pull a stunt like that again I’ll have you locked up in the brig all day and scrubbing down floors with the cabin boys all night. You got that?”

Jack understands, even the subtle “I’m glad you’re okay” that’s left unspoken. Spot leaves soon after and Davey seems to sense that he’s being watched. The following conversation is one of the hardest in Jack’s life, but he knows it’s important. 

He’s sorry, first and foremost. Sorry for dumping all his problems in Davey’s lap and refusing to accept his help. Jack could see every time Davey tried to pull him out of his free-fall into a pit of grief, but he wasn’t able to take the lifeline before his choices hurt Davey, and for that he’s so so sorry. Of course, Davey tries to assure him it’s fine, but it’s not, and Jack tells him that. 

Then it’s Davey’s turn. He tells Jack that he realized he was trying to help him through his grief by telling him what to think and how to feel. Maybe not on purpose, but he realized that parroting “your crew wouldn’t have wanted this for you” wasn’t actually as helpful as he thought was. Davey never knew them. He didn’t know what Jack was going through and he never would, not really. He’s not sure how to help, but he wants to, and he’s willing to learn how. Davey just hates how sad Jack is most days, and he wants to know how he can make it better. Not how to fix it, he knows better now than to think he can ever truly make all that pain go away. He just wants to find a way to make the pain easier to live with.

Davey doesn’t know how to do that, Jack doesn’t either, but they’re both willing to learn together. Jack has only just gotten to the point where he can even begin to picture a long-term future without his old crew. He’s not really sure what he wants, but he knows he wants to live life and live it well. And if Davey will have him, he’d love to learn how to do that with him.

There’s…. something between them. A deeper connection than just good friends, but they both know they’re in no position to act on those feelings right now. So they share a friendly hug (although it’s a bit too tight and a bit too long to really be called friendly) and agree to just see what happens naturally. They have an entire lifetime, after all.

And it doesnt’ magically fix everything, not by a longshot. Jack still has those days where the memories are too much and he can’t bring himself to leave his bed. But Davey is always there and he just lays down beside Jack, talking about everything and nothing. Until eventually Jack starts interjecting with his own little stories and the pang in his chest turns from heartache to warm remembrance. 

The ending is very much open for interpretation, but I think Jack and Davey would eventually set out on their own ship together. They’re both captains, they work together and sail around looking for the next adventure life has to offer them. (Perhaps their crew includes Davey’s twin sister/the best navigator on the seven seas and the former first mate of a merchant ship/runaway heiress who once saved Captain Jack Kelly from a desert island)

And if you were to travel to that small little island in the middle of the ocean, you would find a proper memorial to a crew of lost boys. Legend has it, if you listen closely you can hear the sound of singing and laughter fill the air as the waves crash against the shore. 

But that’s just a legend, of course.