#sadie is november

[enders-redemption]

arthur is a march baby. i have no evidence for that i just feel it in my soul

[myfakeplasticlove13]

Okay but have you ever tried being a girl with self destructive tendencies and no real sense of self in the month of November??? Any top tips for not actively ruining my life, myself and all the people around me in irreparable ways would be greatly appreciated!!! Asking for a friend tho

[onthisdayts]

ON THIS DAY - November 12, 2021 - 2 years ago

"All Too Well" New York Premiere in New York City

[andreai04]

Because the past isn’t just obdurate; it’s in harmony with both itself and the future.

Home is watching the moon rise over the open, sleeping land and having someone you can call to the window, so you can look together. Home is where you dance with others, and dancing is life.

We never know which lives we influence, or when, or why. Not until the future eats the present, anyway. We know when it's too late.

For a moment everything was clear, and when that happens you see that the world is barely there at all. Don't we all secretly know this? It's a perfectly balanced mechanism of shouts and echoes pretending to be wheels and cogs, a dreamclock chiming beneath a mystery-glass we call life. Behind it? Below it and around it?

Chaos, storms. Men with hammers, men with knives, men with guns. Women who twist what they cannot dominate and belittle what they cannot understand. A universe of horror and loss surrounding a single lighted stage where mortals dance in defiance of the dark.

[books-in-a-storm]

Book Of The Week

Title: Magic Awakened #1 Bound by Magic

Author: Sadie Moss

Pages:256

Synopsis:

Magic I never wanted. Power I can’t control. And four alluring men who are the key to it all.

Ever since the Great Death killed two thirds of the magical population, the magically Gifted have used their powers to oppress the Blighted—anyone without magic. Surviving as one of the Blighted in a city like Denver means I have to be quicker, smarter, and fiercer than the magical beings that rule the city.

I get by just fine working as a mercenary and assassin until I take a job on my twenty-fifth birthday. What should be a routine take-down of an incubus and his buddies turns into a major clusterf#ck when something inside me goes haywire.

Turns out, I do have magic. And it’s so powerful, it’s bound these four men to me.

Jae, the thoughtful, intelligent mage with a sadness in him I can’t help but want to heal. Fenris, the sexy, devil-may-care wolf shifter with the killer grin. Akio, the incubus who pushes all my buttons—in the best and worst ways. And Corin, the human from my past who still holds a piece of my heart.

They’re part of an underground rebellion working for equality among the races and fighting back against the magical elite. And according to them, I may just be the missing piece in their battle.

I’m Lana Crow. Mercenary. Gifted. Rebel. And my story is just beginning…

[queen-beefcake-sqx]

Reminder to all the Mad Women on my feed: if a doctor brushes off your symptoms because of your history with mental health or whatever, get as many second opinions as you need to get someone to look at your symptoms seriously.

Because “Oh it’s just a migraine, you have a history of those” is VERY DIFFERENT from “oh hey you have a hole in your skull that a polyp from your arachnoid cyst fell through into your sinus cavity, good thing your ENT doctor thought to ask a neurologist before pulling on it because that would’ve been BAD.”

…. Anyway, send my Mom some well wishes, please?

[sonofshermy]

North Carolina Digital Heritage Center

Sadie Hawkins Day, Lees-McRae College, 1954

[mistfunk]

Mistigram: to understand the occasion, #SadieHawkinsDay, that AdeptApril's minimalist #ANSIart illustration is conveying here, you need to go way back to a 1937 installment of Al Capp's Li'l Abner comic strip, where for one day Sadie Hawkins, the mayor's homely daughter, would be entitled to marry any bachelor she could catch running a foot race. In the popular culture it has mellowed over the decades to simply indicate an occasion for a dance where women took the lead and asked men to attend with them, which in the 1930s might have been seen as shamelessly forward of them.

[odinsblog]

“I first started noticing the journalists dying on Instagram. I'm a journalist, I'm Arab, and I've reported on war. A big part of my community is other Arab journalists who do the same thing.

And when someone dies, news travels fast. Recently, I pulled up the list that the Committee to Protect Journalists has been keeping and looked at it for the first time. There are 95 journalists and media workers on it as of today.

Almost everyone on it is Palestinian. Scrolling through, I started to get angry. These were the people carrying the burden of documenting this whole war.

Israel is not allowing foreign journalists into Gaza, except on rare occasions with military escorts. These people's names are being buried in a giant list that keeps growing. What I want to do is lift some of them off the list for a moment and give you a glimpse of who they were and the work they made.

I'll start with Sadi Mansour. Sadi was the director of Al-Quds News Network, and he posted a 22-second video on November 18. That was a report from the war, but it also gave me a picture into his marriage.

Sadi's wearing his press vest and looks exhausted. He's explaining that cell service and the Internet keep getting cut off, and it's often impossible to text or call anyone, including his wife. So they've resorted to using handwritten letters to communicate while he's out reporting, sending them back and forth with neighbors or colleagues.

He ends the video with a picture of one of these letters from his wife. In it, she writes,

‘Me and the kids stayed up waiting for you until the morning, and you didn't come home. We were really sad.

I kept telling the kids, Look, he's coming. But you didn't show up. May God forgive you.

Come home tomorrow and eat with us. Do you want me to make you kebab or maybe kapse? Bring your friends with you, it's okay.

And give Azeez the battery to charge. What do you think about me sending you handwritten letters with messenger pigeons from now on? Ha ha ha.

I'm just kidding. I want to curse at you, but we're living in a war. Too bad.

Okay, I love you. Bye.’

A few hours after he shared that letter, Sadie and his co-worker Hassouna Saleem were at Sadie's home, when they were killed by an Israeli air strike that hit his house.

His wife and kids, who weren't there, survived.

Gaza is tiny, and the journalist community is really close. Reading the list, you can see all the connections between people. Like with Brahim Lafi.

Brahim was a photojournalist, one of the first journalists to die. He was killed while reporting on October 7. He was just 21, still new to journalism.

On his Instagram, you can see that in his posts just a few years ago, he was still practicing his photography, taking pictures of coffee cups and flowers. Then he started doing beautiful portraits and action shots. You can really feel him starting to become a journalist.

Clicking around on Instagram, I found a tribute post about Brahim from his co-worker Rushdie Sarraj. In this photo, Brahim staring intently at the back of a camera, his face lit up by the light from the viewfinder. He looks so young.

The caption reads, My assistant is gone. Brahim is gone. Rushdie himself was a beloved journalist and filmmaker.

And I know that because he's also on the list. He was killed just two weeks after Brahim. I read the tribute post to him too.

I saw this over and over again. Journalists posting tributes, who were then killed themselves soon after. And a tribute goes up for them.

And then the pattern continues.

Thank you.

Something else I saw over and over on the list, journalists later in the war who had become aware that they could be making their last reports. They'd say it at the beginning of their videos. And those were the hardest to watch, especially when it was true.

One video like that was posted by Ayat Hadduro. Ayat was a freelance journalist and video blogger. Her videos before the war covered a wide range from what I can tell, interviews about women in politics.

She even appeared in a commercial for ketchup-flavored chips. She clearly liked being in front of the camera. Once the war started, Ayat's pivoted to covering bombings and food shortages.

On November 20, she posted a video report from her home. You can hear the airstrikes hitting very close to where she is. It's scary.

‘This is likely my last video. Today, the occupation forces dropped phosphorus bombs on Beit Lahya area and frightening sound bombs. They dropped letters from the sky, ordering everyone to evacuate.

Everyone ran into the streets in the craziest way. No one knows where to go.

But everyone else has evacuated. They don't know where they're going. The situation is so scary.

What's happening is so tough, and may God have mercy on us.’

She was killed later that day.

Targeting journalists, in case you didn't know, is a war crime. So far, the Committee to Protect Journalists has found that three of the journalists on the list were explicitly targeted by the IDF, the Israeli military. Investigations by the Washington Post and Reuters, Human Rights Watch and the United Nations have also raised serious questions in these three cases.

And the Committee to Protect Journalists is investigating 10 other killings. When we reached out to the IDF for comments, they said, quote, the IDF has never, and will never, deliberately target journalists. That's the answer they always give in these situations.

Meanwhile, dozens of seasoned reporters have fled Gaza. Journalists who worked for Al Jazeera, the BBC, the New York Times, the Washington Post, Reuters, Agence France-Presse. So many media offices were demolished in Israeli airstrikes that the Committee to Protect Journalists stopped counting.

It's not just individual lives that have been destroyed. It's an entire infrastructure.

Thank you.

The name on the list that was hardest for me to look at was Issam Abdullah, because I'd crossed paths with him once. Issam was a Lebanese journalist, a video journalist for Reuters for many, many years. He had just won an award for coverage of Ukraine.

I'm Lebanese and still report there sometimes, and I'd worked with Issam a couple of summers ago. He helped me film a sort of random story in Beirut. I was interviewing this entrepreneur who had started a sperm freezing company after an accident where he spilled a tray of hot coffee on his private area, burning himself.

I know, ridiculous. It was a really silly shoot. Right after we said cut and started to rap, Issam started this whole bit about being in his late 30s, reconsidering his own sperm quality and everything he now realized he was doing to hurt it, and no one could stop laughing.

It was a really good day that felt good to remember and to remember him that way. Issam was killed by the IDF on October 13. His death was one of the three that the Committee to Protect Journalists has identified as a targeted killing.

He was fired upon by an Israeli tank while standing in an empty field on the Lebanon-Israel border with a small group of other journalists. Everyone was wearing press vests with cameras out. They were covering the Hezbollah part of this war.

A few other journalists were injured in the attack, which was captured on video. The IDF says they were responding to firing from Hezbollah, not targeting the journalists. But multiple investigations, including by Reuters, the United Nations, Amnesty International and the AFP, found no evidence of any firing from the location of the journalists before the IDF shot at them.

The journalists in the group and video footage confirmed that there was no military activity near them. I had only met Issam once, barely knew him, but it affected me so much when he died. I know that he understood the risks of his job, but somehow it still felt so random and unfair that he would be struck down like that, following the rules, wearing his press vest and helmet, and a pack of reporters on a sunny day in an open field.

I find myself thinking about him all the time. His last Instagram post was commemorating another journalist, this iconic reporter Shereen Abou Aql who had been killed by the IDF. When I first saw that post in October, I thought how ironic because a week later, Isam also was killed by the IDF.

But then, after spending time reading the list, I realized how common this had become. I still haven't finished going through the list and looking up the people on it. I keep finding things that stick with me, like the funny way this one radio host would cut off a caller who was rambling on for too long.

A tweet from reporter Al-Abdallah that quoted Sylvia Plath. It read, What ceremony of wars can patch the havoc? I'm going to keep going down the list, even though this story is over now.

Just for myself. My own way of bearing witness. Which is, in the end, all that these journalists were trying to do.”

—DANA BALLOUT, The 95. Dana sifts through a very long list—the list of journalists killed in the Israel-Hamas war, and comes back with five small fragments of the lives of the people on it. Dana is a Lebanese-American, Emmy-nominated documentary producer.

[crowleysgirl56]

Updated with edits!

Timeline of the last 12 months 15 months of the Good Omens fandom.

July 2023 - Good Omens season 2 drops. Fans watch on the presumption this season is based on the sequel idea Terry and NG spoke of in the 90’s and 2006. Reactions are mixed but mostly positive. We’re happy with fluff. Initial thoughts: “I don’t see how this story could have been fleshed out into an entire novel, but I guess it was only ever just initial ideas, so I suppose that works.”

July 2023 - THE KISS.

Fandom reaction: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

August 2023 - NG responds to fandom

NG: “Season 2 isn’t actually based on the idea Terry and I spoke about.”

Fandom: “What?”

NG: “Season 2 is just a bridging story to get us to season 3. That will be the story that Terry and I discussed.”

Fandom: “What!?”

NG: “Season 3 hasn’t been greenlit by Prime yet so we might not get it.”

Fandom: “WHAT?!”

NG: “Also I wrote the kiss that way by giving the fandom what you want without actually giving you what you want. So like, stop asking me for things or I won’t write them.”

Fandom: “AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!”

August to November 2023 - The fandom, now lost and depressed, mope through the halls of Tumblr and Reddit, desperately clinging to any piece of information dropped by NG, sharing fan art, creating headcanons and theories, and writing the angstiest of angst fanfiction ever written. Some weep in a corner mumbling about the South Downs. Most just trudge through their daily lives, listless and despondent.

December 2023 - Prime greenlights Good Omens Season 3.

Fandom: YES! OMG HOORAY! WAHOO! Dancing in the streets. Fanfiction turns to fluff and smut. NG is active and happy, answering many questions without actually answering them. Gives us the hilarious gift of Dottie and Sadie.

January 2024 - speculation of when season 3 filming will begin commences. Realisation that it could be quite a while starts to sink in. Actors and writers strike has caused delay to the scripts being written. David and Michael have taken on theatre work which will delay their filming schedules. Douglas McKinnon announces he’s stepping away as director. Fandom has slight freak out, but NG reassures everyone it’s nothing to worry about, and linked to the recent strikes.

Early to mid 2024 - “The invisible and unbreakable line that joins Crowley and Aziraphale”.

Fandom: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! We inevitably become even more feral. Much fanart is made.

March 2024 - David hosts the BAFTAs and Michael helps him during the opening. David is then nominated for TV BAFTA for Good Omens.

Fandom: OMG YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!! Much dancing and celebration is had once again. We are so in love.

May 2024 - filming schedule for GO season 3 is announced. It will commence January 2025. The fandom reacts.

Fandom: “That’s still so long away!” “Michael and David will have their hair dyed white and red for the awards season!” “Going by the previous production schedule this means season 3 won’t reach our screen until 2026! No!” “Cannot wait for this to start filming we are going to be so feral!” More fanfiction, more fanart.

June 2024 - David hosts Pub in the Park. Michael joins him.

Fandom: THEY ARE SO CUTE! HOW CAN THEY BE THIS CUTE, WE DON’T DESERVE THEM.

Early July 2024 - horrible allegations are laid against NG and the fandom comes to a terrible crashing halt. Much debate and discussion is had back and forth: “Believe the victims”. “Separate the art from the artist”. “Drop the fandom entirely”. “Step back for a moment”. There is a lot of arguing, but there is also still a lot of love. NG has fled all social media.

Late July 2024 - until it’s January, and the show actually starts filming, Good Omens season 3 has now become Schrödinger’s Series. It both now exists and doesn’t exist. Prime at any moment may pull the production due to the backlash against NG. The fandom now re-examines McKinnon’s departure speculating if he left for other reasons. We once again despondently trudge the halls of tumblr and Reddit feeling the same feeling of this time last year.

This section of the post was made in late July was this was original posted: And that pretty much brings us up to date. Anything could happen in the next six months, which is why I feel we’re all worried. It’s why I’m worried. So instead, keep sharing the art, keep writing the fanfiction, keep speculating with theories and headcanons. Let’s be here for each other. Because we created this fandom for each other. It doesn’t belong to NG anymore. Let’s do this for Terry. Personally, I can’t wait to come back to this timeline and add January 2025 - filming begins.

28 July 2024 - Michael Sheen, the absolute angel that he is posts a picture of his tartan socks clad feet alongside the caption “To our world”. Such a beautiful, beautiful man!

10 September 2024 - Amazon Prime announces production for season 3 is paused. Everyone loses their shit. There is much lamentations.

Unsubstantiated posts start circulating that the show is cancelled. People who have a friend whose cousin’s gardener’s former roommate claim they are involved with the production and therefore they KNOW the show is cancelled. More lamentations.

Amazon stays silent for EIGHT. FUCKING. WEEKS.

The fandom walk around in a god damn haze again akin to what August to December 2023 felt like. Will we be left with the final 15 forever?

Mid October 2024 - for about 3 days straight the fandom receives information that is akin to a rollercoaster of emotion. Head graphics designer Mickey tweets out a now deleted post that everyone is going back to Scotland. Then Peter Anderson Studio tweet out a now deleted post referencing the South Downs cottage. Then random casting company updates their subscription website advertising Good Omens: The Finale a TV movie. Entertainment website releases an article referencing this. The fandom LOSE. THEIR. SHIT. AGAIN. We honestly can’t take much more of this.

25 October 2024 - Amazon finally announces the news we’ve been half expecting half dreading with positive and negative ramifications. Neil Gaiman is gone. GOOD! Season 3 will still happen. GOOD! But now it’s just a 90 minutes finale. WAIT, WHAT, NO! But it could have been worse. It was a hairs breath away from being completely cancelled. GOD BLESS RHIANNA PRATCHETT AND ROB WILKINS.

It’s been a wild ride everyone. I’ve already posted earlier this morning (25 October 2024) my thoughts about the whole situation so go read that there. But for now? Gaiman is gone, and we get our ending.

For now here’s to seeing our boys with their red and white hair again.

[cryptidcr3ature]

Assigning rdr characters zodiacs since they didn’t give us birthdays to do it ourselves

Dutch- I know he’s a Leo, but I feel July Leo. Dramatic ass man.

Hosea- Libra. Theater kid, con man, self confident. I know what’s up.

Arthur- Taurus. He’s suchhhh a Taurus. Hard worker, stubborn, and typically a follower but will stand up for himself. I feel it. May Taurus

Abigail- ARIES WOMAN!!! I love Aries, my best friend is an Aries and they take no shit, especially from romantic partners. Driven, but so caring.

Micah-Sagittarius. I know I said Virgo in my initial post but that’s just my personal beef against Virgo men. He’s nearly as dramatic as Dutch but no where near as suave. He adds to Dutch’s flame till it’s out of control.

John-Cancer. “What choice did I have?” Never taking blame and takes a smack in the face to correct behavior. June cancer energy (I’m a cancer too so I’m calling myself out)

Sean-Scorpio, 100%. Sex driven, emotionally charged, quick to act out, cried after trying to kill Dutch and Hosea. Typical Scorpio energy.

Lenny-Capricorn. Lenny leads with his head over his heart. However, when he follows his heart, dear god get away.

Javier-Virgo. Virgos are always 5 steps ahead of you. I’ve also been burned by more Virgos than any other sign. Still if you got something you need done, a Virgo has a plan.

Bill- Sagittarius. The toxic masculinity and the bluntness of bill williamson makes me lean towards Sagittarius. I feel like maybe he’s a November Sagittarius though.

Trelawney- GEMINIIII!!! I personally love Gemini but everything is a performance with them. Different to the Leo main character syndrome, Gemini try to preform who they think you want them to be.

Charles-Scorpio. This one took a while and a lot of flip flopping but then I realized that Charles is an October Scorpio. Compared to the more open November Scorpio, Charles has a more introverted, bottled up personality. He’s emotionally reserved but once you get to know him, you can tell exactly how he’s feeling and what he’s up to.

Kieran- Pisces. Sweet boy, water sign energy. Slightly pathetic. Definitely March Pisces. 

Sadie- Pisces. February Pisces woman. She will stab you for someone she loves, and won’t hesitate to do it again.

Mary-Beth- Cancer. July in particular and demonstrates the more hopeless romantic and creative nature of Cancers. Also I know she’s got that intuition.

Tilly- Aquarius. She’s reserved but will kill you without warning. Don’t cross an Aquarius.

Karen-Capricorn. Capricorn burnout is so real and Karen is a prime example of what happens when you don’t keep your Capricorn on the straight and narrow.

Molly-Leo. Her last scene, that’s all.

I’ve been working on this for 40 minutes now and the melatonin is kicking in. Enjoy.

[mentaltimetraveller]

Yu Nishimura, Synopsis

8th October – 9th November 2024, Sadie Coles HQ Davies Street

[fiercynn]

The Gaza Monologues: Audio Production in Solidarity with Palestine!

The Gaza Monologues is a collection of testimonies from Gazan youth in 2010, after the first war on Gaza, collected and adapted for stage by ASHTAR Theatre in Ramallah (@ASHTARTheatre), and performed here by 26 people from several countries for International Day of Solidarity with Palestinian People on November 29, 2023. In lieu of copyright purchases, ASHTAR Theatre requests donations to their programs in the West Bank.

This is an audio-only production of The Gaza Monologues, but is posted as a video to include subtitles. Most monologues are in English, but there are two in Arabic, two in Spanish, and one in French. English subtitles are available for all monologues. Currently, subtitles in Arabic, Spanish, and French are only up for the monologues that are spoken in each respective language, though we’ll try to get subtitles up for others in the near future. The script of The Gaza Monologues is available in those languages and more.

Produced by me, audio editing and additional coordination by Hannah, and art by @pocketsizedquasar.

Thanks to all the voice actors, including @saltqueer, @to-every-house-you-enter, @hyeoni-comb, @datfearlessfangirl, @shooshopath, @cryptenby, @exsequar, and many others – see below the cut for full credits!

Alt text for art: A digital painting of a Palestine sunbird sitting perched on olive branches. it is a small black and blue songbird with a teal-turquoise shimmer on its head and upper wings. In the background is a faded scene of a beach at sunset in the colors of the Palestinian flag: red, green, black, and white. Handwritten text at the top left reads, “The Gaza Monologues,” and the artist’s signature “@pocketsizedquasar” is written over one of the branches on the bottom left.

MONOLOGUES

1. Ahmad El Ruzzi: Deepa

2. Ahmad Taha: Juniper Hanrahan

3. Ashraf A Sossi: Sam (@morelenmir on twitter)

4. Alaa Hajjaj: Deepa

5. Amanee A Shorafa: KC

6. Amjad Abu Yasin: M

7. Anas Abu Eitah: @priismacolors on twitter

8. Ehab Elayan: Andrea

9. Tamer Najem: @saltqueer

10. Taima'a Okasha: Brook

11. Rawand Ja'rour: Percival

12. Reem Afana: Clio (@to-every-house-you-enter)

13. Reema El Sadi: shambs (@tipsyloki12 on twitter)

14. Sami El Jerjawi: Juniper Hanrahan

15. Sujoud Abu Hussein: Mary

16. Suha Al Mamlouk: Anne (@exsequar)

17. Ali Al Hassany: Rose

18. Fateema Abu Hashem: N

19. Fateema Atallah: Maddy

20. Muhammed El Omrani: PK

21. Muhammed Qasem: p

22. Mahmud Abu Shaa'ban: Essie

23. Mahmud Bala'wi: @hyeoni-comb

24. Mahmud El Turk: Maaytah

25. Mahmud Afana: @datfearlessfangirl

26. Mahmud Najem: @shooshopath

27. Heba Daoud: KC

28. Wi'am El Dieri: Cameron

29. Yasmeen Ja'rour: M

30. Yasmeen Abu Amer: Maaytah

31. Yasmeen Katbeh: TK (@cryptenby)

[bellezaycafe]

Get Your Shit Together - Chapter 7

genre: 2024 and onwards AU, with the 2024 starting grid.

pairing: Romantic!oc x that triangle y’all voted on. Platonic!oc x the whole grid.

warnings: swearing, mentions of physical crimes, discussions about gangs, mentions of bars and alcohol. Besties arguing. talk about the accident in chapter 4.

context: Part 1 and Masterlist…

comments: here’s the Max and Sadie content I promised. I like to reveal details slowly, as you can tell. Also, I’m writing Oscar like he’s a genius because I can see him putting the pieces together before anyone else.

Also, I'm not referring to AlphaTauri as Visa Cash App Racing Bulls or whatever their rumoured name is.

The three time World Driver Champion grumbled as his phone buzzed. He was tired of people texting him. He wanted one day of peace.

Lando: you should have told me

Max: Told you what?

Lando: why sadie disappeared

Max froze and knew his peaceful day was gone. Either Lewis had spilled, which was unlikely, or Lando had found the Australian girl.

Max: Who told you?

Lando: she did

Lando: you should have told me

“Goddamn it, Lando,” he muttered and pulled himself off of his couch.

Max: I take it you found her

Lando: by accident

Lando: but yeah we found her

Max sighed and tapped the call icon. This would go so much faster if he wasn’t wasting time typing.

Lando picked up in two rings.

“Witness fucking protection, Max,” he greeted.

“Is she with you now?” It was the first thing on Max’s mind.

“No.“

He couldn’t see Lando’s face but Max could hear him pacing.

“Lando-“

“Witness protection, Max. Gangs! Attempted assault!” The boy was raging.

But Max picked up the details Sadie had never told him.

“She’s told you more than she did me. What attempted assault?”

Lando didn’t reply as another voice, faint from distance, interrupted them.

“No, I’m not giving you the phone. Go ta- Hey!”

There was a scuffle and Max Fewtrell’s came over the line.

“Max, mate. Can you stop this dumb fuck from doing something stupid?”

“It’s Lando Norris,” the Dutchman commented.

“Yeah, that’s the fucking problem.”

There was more background arguments which had Max impatiently tapping his foot.

“Right, I’ve got the phone now,” came Oscar’s accent. “And you’re on speaker. Do you want me to explain?”

Max grunted an affirmative.

“Right. Sadie works a bar at a restaurant about 45 minutes drive from here. Lando and Max went there for dinner because Daniel said it was good and low key. Lando recognised her, she recognised him. She drove him back to my mums house and apparently ‘explained what she could’ on the way.”

Max could hear irritation in the young Australian’s voice and wondered why he was riled up.

“Okay, and now she’s gone again?”

“Yes,” Lando whined.

“And she left without giving you a way to contact her,” the Dutchman guessed.

“Yes,” Lando grumbled.

“Sadie has our numbers,” Oscar added. “Lando’s and mine.”

“She’ll text you if she wants to.” Max tried to reassure.

“Will she?” Oscar asked.

“I don’t know,” the Dutchman admitted.

“She unpredictable,” Lando observed.

“No shit,” came Max Fewtrell’s voice. “She took your fucking car to the leg for you. If anything is unpredictable, that’s it!”

“Right, I’m going. You three can argue amongst yourselves, but trust me on one thing. Don’t chase her. Sadie is scared and she would rather hurt you than risk herself.”

“I don’t believe that,” Lando stated. “She risked herself for me once. She did it without thinking, she-”

“Lando, she was doing her job.” Max cut him off and he flinched at the harshness of his own voice. “I’m going. Don’t do anything stupid.”

And he hung up.

Then pulled up a contact he hadn’t touched since the beginning of November.

She answered faster than Lando had.

“He called you, didn’t he?” Sadie’s voice was a little distant and Max could hear the road noise. He knew her car had bluetooth and wasn’t concerned.

“Yeah,” Max sighed out the confirmation.

“Did you give him my number?”

The distrust stung.

“I swore that I wouldn’t. Kid, I haven’t even given it to Lewis.”

He heard Sadie sigh.

“Just checking,” she grumbled.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” A lie.

“Kid-“

“Max, I’m 21.”

“Don’t care. You keep lying to me and I’m gonna keep calling you kid.”

Kelly walked into the kitchen, still in her pyjamas despite the late morning. She immediately knew who he was talking to. She raised an eyebrow at him and poured herself a cup of coffee.

Max flicked the phone onto speaker.

“I’m fine, dumbass.”

“You’re not.” But he wouldn’t push, he’d learnt not to.

“I will be.” It was always the same answer, again and again.

“Alright well, check in with me like usual okay?”

Sadie muttered a confirmation but Max knew that she was debating a disappearing act.

“Sadie,” -he hoped using her name would connect with her heart, rather than her fear- “just the check in. You know you don’t have to do more.”

“I know that I don’t have to do anything,” she quipped. It wasn’t a snap, she’d never snapped at Max. “But okay, I’ll text you in December.”

“Thank you.”

“Have a good day, Max.”

Max rolled his eyes. Of course she had already worked out the timezones.

“Have a good night, kid.”

To be fair, he had too.

The call disconnected and Kelly placed her hand on Max’s. It was a silent reassurance that Max appreciated.

“Penelope will finish her TV time soon,” Kelly said as she kissed his cheek.

He snaked a hand around his girlfriend’s waist and drew her close.

“We should go out for lunch,” she added.

“Thank you,” Max said into her lips.

It was a grateful sentiment that held far too many layers for his tired mind.

——$——

December landed while Max was battling it out in Qatar. Oscar had taken Saturday's sprint, again, and fought hard during Sunday's race. The Dutchman had defended through the final four laps, fending off both Australians in cars that shouldn’t have been outperforming the Ferrari’s or Mercedes’.

But Oscar had pulled an impressive P2 for a second year in a row, and Daniel had been all smiles as he'd pulled his AlphaTauri into P3.

But as Max hauled himself out of his hotel bed on Monday morning, thoroughly hungover, he found a text from Sadie.

She'd set her own contact name in his phone.

Ego Crusher: All safe and okay here. I know that Qatar was this weekend, saw that you won. Congrats on another win. Congrats to Oscar for beating your slow ass in the sprint. He's good at keeping you on your toes.

Ego Crusher: I didn't tell you until now because I wanted you to focus on Qatar, but the trial started last Wednesday. Should finish Monday my time. I'll let you know what the result is. This is the last four.

Max hissed out a breath, both at his aching skull and her news. He checked his time in Qatar, 9:30am, and did the mental maths for Melbourne time. Sadie would just starting work, 5:30pm, if she had shifts during the trial.

The Crushed: Thanks for letting me know you're okay. I hope the trial is going well.

The Crushed: I know you said you don't want to leave Australia but if any of those dicks are acquitted I'm sending someone to get you.

He left his phone on the kitchen counter, poured himself a glass of water and contemplated his capacity for the energy of Daniel Ricciardo that day.

Max's phone chimed. He cursed at the sound's affect on his headache and flipped it over.

*new message from Ego Crusher*

So Sadie wasn't at work.

Ego Crusher: Yeah, yeah. You said that already. Tell Kelly I say hi and give P a hug for me when you next see her.

The Crushed: Will do.

The Crushed: Update me.

Ego Crusher: Will do :)

Max flicked his phone onto silent, texted an update to Kelly and went to put it back on the countertop. Before he let it go, it vibrated again.

*new message from Oscar Piastri*

He cursed in Dutch.

Oscar Piastri: I know you're in contact with Sadie. She told Lando and I about the trial back in Melbourne. We haven't heard from her and we're worried.

He swore again.

Max Verstappen: She'd kill me if she knew I told you.

Oscar Piastri: You just confirmed it but okay

Max Verstappen: If I said nothing Lando would try to find her again and then we'd all be worried.

Oscar Piastri: You're not wrong

Max Verstappen: She updated me overnight. Trial is still going but so far so good.

Max Verstappen: How long have you known?

Oscar Piastri: Figured it out after you hung up on Lando in Melbourne. You spoke about her like you knew her.

Oscar Piastri: And thank you.

Max finally set the phone down, sighed and cursed, again. His life had never been simple but he didn't know if it had ever been as complicated as it was since Sadie had appeared.

He had siblings. He had Victoria. He had quite a few of them amongst his father's numerous marriages. And he was familiar with the protectiveness that came with being an older brother, and essentially a step-dad.

But he wasn't quite sure how to protect someone who didn't want his protection. Or wasn't actually his sister.

----$----

I did promise some Sadie and Max. I didn't promise it was going to be sunshine and joy though.

@snubug @cmleitora @izzy-marvel @aquangxl

a few came up with “no blog found” so i hope they worked

[nonaabuabu]

Untuk Ibu

Jika ada yang tidak boleh aku sesalkan dalam hidup ini, maka adalah memilikimu. Sebab Ibu bukan yang aku pilih, dan aku bukan pula yang Ibu pilih.

Bu, hari ini aku ingin jujur, tentang apa yang kurasakan setelah 28 tahun kau lahirkan aku ke muka bumi. Kejujuran ini mungkin tak akan pernah benar di mata siapapun, sebab kau ibu, manusia yang paling mulia dalam agama dan norma yang kita percaya.

Tapi aku sudah lama berselisih dengan orang kebanyakan, aku sudah lama berdiri dalam nilai yang sering dianaktirikan sosial, maka aku rasa cerita ini hanya akan menjadi satu dari sekian kisah lain yang akan dimaki waktu.

Ibu, saat kau melahirkan aku di tahun sembilan lima, aku tak tahu apa-apa, tak mengingat apapun, jadi aku anggap kau tak salah dan aku juga tak salah, kau juga tak meminta diberi putri sekurang ajar aku.

Saat kau mendidikku tanpa pelukan aku juga tak melihat itu salah, meski hati kecilku berteriak ingin. Kau melahirkan lima anak dengan berbagai karakter yang luar biasa, tentulah bukan urusan mudah.

Bahkan saat kau memberikan aku pecutan untuk mendidikku jadi anak perempuan yang rajin, aku yang telah dewasa melihat itu sebagai tidak pahammu pada asuhan yang baik, saat kau memukulku yang barangkali untuk kemarahanmu aku yang sekarang juga tahu, tak ada yang mudah hidup dalam kemiskinan.

Tapi Bu, saat kau meninggalkan aku, ayah dan semua anak yang telah lahir dari rahimmu untuk lelaki lain yang lebih memiliki uang, itu urusan beda. Aku di usia manapun melihat itu sebagai ketidakmampuanmu berdiri di atas pilihan yang benar.

Bertahun setelah tahun itu aku membencimu, kadang menyukuri kepergianmu sebab tak ada lagi merah di perutku, kadang lainnya meratapi nasibku kenapa terlahir dari rahimmu.

Hingga aku terpaksa dewasa lebih cepat dari yang kuinginkan, aku enam belas tahun saat belajar memahami bagaimana melihat sisi baik dari kesalahan, bagaimana menerima kekurangan, bagaimana memaafkan luka yang disebabkan oleh orang yang paling kita inginkan.

Tidak pernah mudah Bu, aku tak bisa mengingat keputusan apa saja yang kulakukan di hidupku karena kegagalanku memaknai hidup, sebab merasa rumpang karena tak memilikimu. Ibu tahu hal apa yang paling hebat yang kulakukan karena Ibu, menjadi perempuan paling kuat untuk siapapun.

Ah, tepatnya bertingkah menjadi paling kuat.

Lihat aku sekarang Bu, setelah bertahun-tahun jatuh bangun untuk menerima garis takdirku, aku jatuh lagi untuk pengkhianatanmu. Berapa kebohongan lagi yang harus aku terima dan berapa janji lagi yang harus kau ingkari? Pengkhianatan orang yang kupercaya seolah tak cukup, kau juga ambil bagian untuk menghancurkan aku berkeping-keping.

Ibu, bisakah kau paham sudah terlalu banyak sayatan dalam tubuhku yang kau sebabkan. Aku jahit sendiri luka itu, kadang dengan pelukan kepada diri sendiri, kadang dengan makian kepada Tuhan, kadang pula dengan membuatnya berhamburan hingga aku terbiasa dengan segala jenis sayatan.

Ibu, aku tak punya kemampuan kan untuk berhenti menjadi putrimu, lalu bisakah Ibu yang berhenti menjadi ibuku? Bisakah kau mengutuk aku apa saja asalkan menjadi tiada sebagai manusia yang bernyawa?

Ibu, aku terlalu memiliki banyak daftar luka yang disebabkan olehmu, dan jika aku boleh menyalahkan hidup selain kepada garis takdir, maka seluruh cacatku karenamu Bu.

Tapi aku bersalah kan mengatakan ini? Sebab kau Ibu, takdir tak pernah salah dan aku tetaplah anak yang durhaka jika mengabaikanmu.

Ibu, aku tak berharap apa-apa lagi. Mari bertemu di pemakaman siapa saja yang akan mati duluan. Aku sudah lelah untuk berdamai berulang kali untuk kau sakiti dengan cara yang lebih sadis.

Medan, 11 November 2023

Selamat lahir kembali tanpa ibu, Yul.

[yourdailyqueer]

Sadie Stanley

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Lesbian

DOB: 15 November 2001

Ethnicity: White - American

Occupation: Actress, singer