#sad stuff cuz its sad saturday

[gailsfrog]

A very ridiculously long rant of my SMG4 and Mr. Puzzles Theory's (it's long;-;)

Has anyone ever thought its weird how Smg4 is PERFECTLY NORMAL the Saturday after IGBP!?! like Bro just got done being mentally insane like literally a few days ago and he's just like mentally FINE after all that!?? Nuh Uh- Aint no way- Smg4's probably still coo coo crazy a bit or a lot cuz yalls not gonna be chill after all that far as i know thats not how human minds work. >:/

In SMG4 doesn't meme for one second he's hardcore creepy vibes, ofc more memey ofc which is funny- (Bald Smg4💀) but still sinister none the less :0

then ofc him saying "time to come up with the PERFECT video" in SMG4 simulator then ofc im like NOO :C DOnt gO eVil again and idk do some crazy crap with mr. puzzles and make ur perfect video- amd go all evil- evan tho its cool and eerie-NO :C

Then smg4s really creepy/scarry coocoo cazy vibes in the MEME Factory. Cannon smg4 did actually have an effect on our poor meme boi like bro lost some of his sanity has Mr. Puzzles trauma and now is more antagonistic- which Mr. Puzzles said he makes a good villian Whitch he does in a creepy funny memey way witch is great! and sort of a plot twist cuz smg4 is all cute and bubbly and sweet then he goes all >:000 >:) Creepy and sinister is awsome! it would be cool to see Smg4 as a main antagonest for an arc although we got IGBP so its GREATTT!! AAAAAAAA-

I also sorta feel like Mr. Puzzles is like Smg4 but like: What if smg4 never had any freinds? so he like sorta obsesses and rellys on The TV and makeing entertainment so they dont feel alone or have some sort of purpose. Smg4 and Puzzles are really similar in a way just took a small but major path. Smg4: had freinds his whole life, like a main roll purpose (hes a frickin meme guardian!!!!!! >:D) home and ofc his youtube and whatever chaos happens in this world. Mr Puzzles: never had freinds, probably had crap parents and school bullys, (ISTG HE PRoBably made/re-created little shows with like socks pupets as a kid- AAAA_) anyway- Puzzles sorta just watched TV to comfert him and sorta be his 'freind' in a way which probably ended up inpireing him to proove himself as an actress and become fameous weather to proove the world hes good enough or loved or himself. (Poor Mr.Puzzke wuzzle :'c) So anyway Smg4 and puzzles are like opisites of what they have but similar.

(Mr. Puzzles Headcannon Back story time B) since i wanna type today ;-; ) So ive sotta headcannon mr puzzles childhood suck like- bro had no freinds crappy/neglectfull parents and overall a shit life back then like i sort of immagine his mom being like "shoo im buisy go watch TV or smthn" while on the phone or something idk sad sappy stuff- so little Winston Puzzles (if you have MR theres a first name so puzzles is last name, ITS WINSTON PUZZLES-) aNyWAYy- so puzzles just watched TV ALL. DAY. and probably went to school got bullyed for whatever reason :/ so the beginning basics of the story +Context dElUxE- when mr puzzles got older he bought the showgrounds (whitch in cannon used to be a circus/carnaval) so mr puzzles ran a carnaval place and did some sort of shows + amusement park stuff prbably for like a few years or a couple decades untul money came a problem or went out of buisness, (he still has his face btw lol) so he eventually closed the place and sorta abandoned it and probably the *iNteRnEt* was probably becomeing a thing by now (TV MAN OLDDD-) so he probably doom binges EVERYTHING on youtube in some apartment and works at MC deez or something- idk mOnEyY :/ eventualy yalls probably up at 5am waching Si-fi and stuff with robots get the idea of being a cyborg ither googleing 'hOw tO bE a cYborG EASY" on youtube like a maryos Plane Trip thing AKA Smg4 logic LMAO and probably winging it and then getting his SUppeR fAbulus and Iconic TV head and nows hes probably immortal now :/ (he was probably an old man by the time he finnisghed the body lol not to mention prototypes :/) then he probably did some evil villian laughter shit then downloadded the internet in his brain then eventualy selling the showgrounds to SMG4 and the rest of Puzzlevision continues :/

If yall read all that- WOW :/ its 1am and im typeing esays ;-; anyways this has been cooking in my brain for too long so now its all here now :/

*fades into the distance MEME STYLE B3*

[thatonefatgumsimp]

Important tags for later reference in case I forget or in case you'd like to scroll through and look at a certain tag:

• "#my art" is for tagging my art (alternatively, #not my art for art that I end up reblogging that isn't mine...although I've gotten lazy about tagging so I usually don't tag things unless I speak in them-)

• "#my writing" is for when I post stuff from ao3 that I wrote or just little things I wrote and decided to share here

• "#for later" are things I'm saving for later that might be important or also for cute animals in case I get sad later and need cheering up

• "#shitposting" is for random thoughts I have and shitposts (alternative tag for this: "#random shitpost")

• "#life update" for random life updates and updates on things I'm doing that day...like baking cookies!

• "#songs stuck in my head" is for all the times I've reblogged the "the current song stuck in your head .. go !" post with songs currently stuck in my head that I'm convinced I'm annoying op about at this point by continually reblogging, but I also need to document the songs stuck in my head. for science.

• "#ask tofs" I don't usually get many asks, but I suppose I should have a tag for those, so-

• "#voting time with tofs" is for all the random polls I start because I'm bored and very indecisive. that's it.

• "#last song i listened to" is for the person's post that I rb'd where they so politely asked what the last song listened to was.

• "#a master tag of the insanity" is some random c!mcyt brain thoughts I have occasionally (c! NOT cc!, or in other words, not about the actual real life people, but the cubitos, the sillies, the blorbos, etc.)

• "#tumblr stories of old" are basically like the old legends or old wives tales of tumblr. Myths and lore of old told by great and revered storytellers. Things that future historians may eventually look back on as the Gilgameshes and Illiads of our time... (they can also be found under "#for later", but it's faster if you just use this tag if you don't wanna also be bombarded with art stuff and recipes and cute animals)

• "#rizz for thee not for me" basically the "no b----es" meme for me cuz I for some reason have never been on a single date in my life even tho I've been told by MULTIPLE friends that I'm very cute and my best friends tell me I've got good game and decent charisma...basically me trying to help you get a date if you want one and/or decide to use my pick up lines (also I don't rlly get out much sooooo I don't rlly have any use for them currently-)

• "#dnd stuffs" is for when I post about my dnd OCs that I'm developing my own story for cuz I have no friends (/lhhj...hj BC none of them rlly play dnd-) and autism be damned I'm gonna make my own story! I don't need friends to make up pretend fantasy scenarios!!

• "#out of touch thursday" is for out of touch thursday...obviously- /lh

• "#it's crismin! happy crimis. merry crisis! merry chrysler :p" is what I'm making my Christmas tag riiiiiggt *checks watch* now.

• "#Sasha the Christmas Tiger" Sasha the Christmas Tiger. That is all.

• "#sparkle on its wednesday" is for the sparkle on its wednesday meme

• "#ides of march" is for the day we all collectively stab Caesar again :³

• "#yoooooo happy flesh prison friday" for flesh prison friday

• "#well‚ it's thursday" for the well it's thursday meme

• "#Tuesday 🔁" for the Tuesday 🔁 meme

• "#watermelon wolf wednesday let's gooo" for the watermelon wolf wednesday meme

• "#stoat saturday" for stoat saturday

• "#Today's Sunday" for sunday

also not all my posts are currently tagged with the corresponding tags, I'm trying to work on it. (← lie, I have pretty much given up on tagging my posts from the beginning/earlier this year correctly. There's too many- ╥﹏╥ )

Oh yeah also I added the hyphens to the tag part, but the tags don't have hyphens so uh...yeah jsyk (EDIT: this ↑ has been changed, there are no longer hyphens in the tags in the pinned post)

Also both picture of the perfect lemon slice (my pfp) and my bakusquad banner are by me (lemon was photographed, banner was drawn, felt like I needed to credit somewhere in case anyone was curious...maaaay or may not be working on a new banner, but shhhhhhh 🤫

EDIT 2: I changed it to the new banner ^^)

[saltynsassy31]

Drop your Pokemon thoughts! OC, fave Pokemon, fave region, fave characters! Anything pal

(Pokemon has me on chokehold, every update they will drag me back to the rabbit hole)

Wow calm down buddy, I am still very new to pokemon XD

I think I mentioned, but Decidueye is my fave for no other reason other than he was my first pokemon in Unite and I loved his design, he's my baby

Idk much about regions and stuff like that though, the little I know of it would have to be Alola for fashion alone, I'm more of the type to use loose clothes for warm weather because I'm Brazilian and where I grew up in is a fucking desert lmao so it reminds me a little of home

For characters...sorry I don't have any :( again, I'm new still

I wasn't allowed to indulge in pokemon, I've only watched a handful of episodes that would, by chance, air during the time I stayed at my grandma on Saturdays where I had no restrictions on the TV

I dont remember anyone's name besides Ash's lol, so even if I did have a fave, I wouldn't be able to tell the names. Tho I think I did like that one girl, I think she was a princess? Sorta? She has a Dino looking pokemon too and had big, purple hair. I also likes the red haired girl, she was funny.

I do have other fave pokemons tho, Snivy was the first pokemon I became obsessed with, when I saw their design I was in LOVE. I remember googling up images of them to trace or try to redraw, and I drew it so many times so that when I went to school I could draw it by memory. One of the boys, who was sorta ostracised cuz of his disability, saw me drawing in the corner of the classroom during recess. I tried to keep this interest hidden cuz my mom didn't allow it and would get mad in me indulging on it, so I panicked when he asked what I was drawing and I tried to hide it, but he was really cool about it and was also really kind, with how aggressive he could be, I never connected with someone more than I did then. He told me fun facts and started to explain things I never once understood but listened to it anyone cuz I loved the pokemon.

Another one was from this other boy, I started to be more open about my interest of pokemon but still hid it from my mom, idk how we started talking but eventually said boy gave me one of his pokemon cards. It was jiggly Puff. He said that since girls usually liked cute, pink stuff, that I would like this one (and he was absolutely right cuz altho I was treated as a tomboy during that time, I love pink, cute stuff and the girliest of girls stuff, hell, I still tend to go for pokemon by apperance XD).

I cherished it so much until my mom found it, she told me to give it back to the boy and I begrudgingly did so but he insisted I kept it cuz "if I liked it, I should keep it, just hide it from your mom"

She found it again but this time I tried to convince her to keep it bu saying one of its ability is to sing you to sleep, after that, whenever we stayed up late, she'd tell us she'd pull out the "pink ball" to make us go to bed XD

During our haste to move countries, a lot of my stuff got thrown into a shed and I havent found that card since :( I'm a little sad I didn't take it with me now in hindsight, but yeah, I hope I'll find it again one day but there is little chances of that happening considering the mess I was greeted to when I went back to collect some stuff after years

My friend did find the exact card I had tho, it was this one

As for OCs...well, I only have my persona who I already made a post about here and...that's about it so far XD

Also! Please do not be shy go info dump bout pokemon! I'd love to have more people to talk about pokemon! I wanna do more stuff, find people to roleplay with ocs, etc. Etc. Pokenon has been eating my brain away and i only got a handful (barely that) of people I can turn to vkskskak

[forsakenmissives]

just need to work this all out

ok so im unemployed fresh college grad atm and ive got job apps sent in and even an interview lined up but that interview is in the town my dad is in so im staying with my dad but in the time ive spent waiting for that date ive been with an employment agency but the job that place sent me to was the absolute worst and my mental health has plummeted to the point that i’m getting physically sick both bc of the job and bc i feel like i have to keep looking over my shoulder with my dad right there.

i skipped work saturday and today which is insanely immature but i cant think im struggling to sleep and eat bc of this and today i emailed the agency saying i wish to end our agreement. they said they wished i gave a notice (tbf i thought i had when i was like “i’m moving away” on saturday.. but whatever. actually not whatever — that shouldntve been discounted and im not entirely at fault here) but that they wish me the best and i said thank you and sorry for the inconvenience.

earlier last week when i told dad this job is really bad for me he told me to stay working there until i get another job secured. i did not do that and now im terrified of telling him that i quit bc i dont know what hes going to do plus i dont want to talk about it with him i just want to be left alone

also this interview ive got lined up is for a really great company however i dread working there bc that means i have to stay with dad. i want to go back to where i used to live. also i dont like that one of the high up workers there is friends with my dad. being a nepo baby is great unless the nepo comes from my dad. i dont trust him to not keep tabs on me and i dont want him knowing what ive been doing or where ive been. not that im doing anything illegal i just want him to fuck off, yknow?

all of this leads back to the problem ive always had in that hes a huge control freak who needs to know everything going on in my life and i cant escape. my mom got out through the divorce but im still stuck here and i cant leave either bc even if i cant breathe with him and his wife and their kids i love my paternal grandparents and aunt and uncle. im just so paranoid and anxious and i feel like i cant breathe

im so sick of disappointing people but also the stuff my dad is proud of me about is stuff im not that proud of. its like i just cant win with him.

oh and paranoia aside i dont want to owe him anything bc he used to ignore me for months despite me calling and messaging him constantly (to the point that my mom was like “do you even love me? do you even want to be here do you even care?”) when he took me out for dinner one of the times he decided to acknowledge me he said he’d pay for a field trip (past the time the fee was due so i had to get special permission from the teacher) then the next week he said i only talk to him when i need money so actually no hes not giving me anything. WHAT. and then a couple years later he was like “i never got to be your parent you never let me be your dad :(“ and when i was like “why” he was like “i had to always go have fun with you instead of discipline you bc i didnt want our time together to be all sad and me getting mad at you” like again. WHAT.

he said that bc i was like “i was rly hurt when you said i only come to u for money bc i reached out to u a lot and u never replied”. so. idk what to do with that but i still dont rly understand the argument from him here. but yeah i was like rly hurt and then he started crying talking about how he never got to be my dad even tho i was like 19 when this convo happened so he had 19 years to try and didnt and its rly unfair that im supposed to feel guilty for denying him this even tho i was the child and he had total control he could decide what to do with me and he chose wrong and now hes taking it out on me here in this restaurant. ok.

its so fucked cuz now im like so was i doing something wrong all those times we were tgt? like idk im just scared around him bc i dont ever know if im doing something wrong bc he wont tell me or maybe he will or maybe he . idk i just cant sit still yknow?

also his wife is racist and ive got to deal with microaggressions from her. and hes a pastor

anyway i just needed to get that all out there to feel a bit less crazy. thank you for coming to my ted talk ✌️😗

OH YEAH. and he makes me feel stupid all the fucking time like i dont need a job right now. i Should get one but i dont have a mortgage im not buying groceries i dont need to pay for insurance I DONT NEED A JOB. but he told me to stay in this shitass job bc i need it. dude it had me out in the sun all day (ALL DAY) paying $10/hr and had me coming home genuinely thinking about killing myself. not even bc of the physical labor but bc it was so under-stimulating like i was in my head all day no music no interesting surroundings no conversation nothing for me to solve. and he was all like “well sometimes we have to do work that we don’t like” YEAH I FUCKING KNOW DICKHEAD. my mom said he talked like that to her too and also apparently ok not to brag bc im fr not but im rly smart like im fucking brilliant and my dad always acted like it was bc of him but my mom’s other kids are also brill while my dad’s other kids are… theyre sweet kids and intelligence isnt everything im aware i know but its like “really dickhead?” i just hate how he belittles u and talks like ur dumb. im not dumb. dont piss me off

[walkietalkiemaniac]

id been extraordinarily bad for the last 2 weeks. doing very poorly mentally, strangely emotionally unstable, my normal numbness turning suicidal to anger to chest crushing sadness in a single hour type of bad. and my roommate noticed too of course cuz i was like a walking hurricane. so she, well meaning, tried to check on me even more, which was making me So irrationally mad. half the time id force an "im fine how about you" thru grit teeth, half the time i just said "bad", i was snapping at her and apologizing, it was terrible. she kept saying she knew i wasnt trying to be a dick and was doing bad but it repeated like 5 times in 2 weeks.

so last saturday i go for a walk, i harness all my calmness i can, i invite her to come drink chocolate milk with me, tell her i need to talk to her about 2 things: i tell her im sick of blowing up at her and apologizing and i feel really out of control bad (she assures me again that she understands), and it might be better if she waited for me to come to her and gave me some space to figure it out. second is, even when im at my most stable i dont react well to "anger bait" regardless, so if she could maybe not send me those id be thankful.

at first she takes it well, im thinking ill manage to converse for like 5 minutes and FUCK OFF. but then a, completely ignorable, remark goes serious and she starts going OFF on her grievances with me. and i felt like i got blindsided so hard because it was really heavy stuff she had been holding in. it was such foundational things too i remember going "if youve been feeling this way about me half the time how did you even tolerate being my friend, genuinely? like what do you even enjoy about our time" and it was wild. i apologized of course, like what can you even do when someone tells you youve disrespected them and upset them to THIS degree all this time. i told her ive never meant to make her feel that way and i was sorry for it, i would try to change my tone and avoid doing the same. i asked her to tell me the moment she sees me doing that (id asked her of any specific examples of this, she didnt have any) cuz im nothing if not methodical. but there was not much else i could say because i explained my intentions and apologized for the parts i didnt intend on. im still reeling because i genuinely cant understand how it can even happen.

and im trying not to be hung up on this, i really am, but its not lost on me she said she reached all these conclusions in the week before, as i was doing the worst i possibly can, and decided to air them out on the moment i came to her with carefully thought out communication. like okay. this is how most people roll. but i thought her better

[imraespace]

HIHIGIIGJijihihigiihihih dailt chekcin becofe i start my work

today was actually kinda okay ish i finally participated in my chem class and actually said something that wasnt as stupid than what i usuallt say AND THE TEACHER DIDNF SAY I WAS WRONG SO YAYAY

in my cooking class i was looking at… BOOKING FLIGHTS, HOTELS, RENTAL CARS AND RESERVATIONS FOR RESTAURANTS?? HELLO WHY IS THIS PROJECY REAL IM ABOJT TO WORK ON IT BUT I WANAN DELAY IT EVEN FURTHER CUZ IM A LITTLE UPSET RN

ididnt get jnto the graphic designer position and im like forcing myself to be upset over it or else im gonna be sad over it later and i feel like thats worse bc then at that point its gonna be irrelevant so BUT IM ALSO LIKE WHO?? CARES?????? ITS NOT THAT DEEP AND EVEN IF I DID GET IN ID BE PISSED OFF THAT IM MAKING A POSTER AND NOT STUDYING FOR A TEST OR SOEMTHING HELP and the club is actually irrelevant as hell so it doesnt even really matter

plus anyways theres another thing i signed up for so ill wait for that one instead mueheuheheh but i dont think im getting in that either but at least i applied idk …….

UMUMUM theres nothing else that happened today OH I FINISHED MY NAGI EDIT ITS BEEN FINISHED ACTUALLY HELP IDK WHEN TO POST IT EXCEPT ON SATURDAY WHEN IK IT PROBABLT WONT FLOP AS HARD 💔💔 BUTITS OKAY 😈😈 i need to think of another edit idea or finish that sae edit its been .. pending for like two months now i swear.

i have a test on friday and then another test next week tuesday for history I WANAN DROP OUT OF THE CLASS SO BAD WHY DID I CHOOSE TO TAKE HISTORY AND IM IN THE ADVANCED CLASSES TOO 💔 chem isnt that bad but im scared for the unit test but her tests dont seem as hard HELPME I FEEL LIKE IT SHOULD BE HARDER CUZ ITS CHEM BUT THEN AGAIN ITS ALSO LIKE IM HAPPY IT ISNT AS HARD ITS JUST I STILL DONT GET THESE TWO CONCEPTS AND I REALLT NEED TO LOCK IN FOR MY SUBJECTS

how do i even study for history cuz other than stuff like all i know is inflation, the fiat money system, and how my history teacher hates the united states and they can all suck his bald head bc they all suck and “EW AMERICANS!!!” apparently AND I SEE HIM FOR TWO PERIODS TOO HELP 💔 HE LEGIT ENCOURAGEd US TO DROP OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL AND IM LIKE HELLO ARENT U SUPPOSED TO MAKE US CONTINUE SCHOOL URE LITERALLT A TEACHER BUT OKAY.

im lowk tweaking because i reallt dont know how to study for history and my test on friday i feel so unprepared but to be fair I LEGIT HAVENT STARTED STUDYING YET AND I DONT PLAN TO UNTIL TOMORROW .. and i feel like i should start studying for my history test and im like erm maybe tmr ..! SO TECHNICALLY IF I STICK TO THE SCHEDULE I MADE FOR MYSELF IN MY HEAD WHCIH IS FINISH ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS TODAY (impossible) IT GIVES ME ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO STUDY FOR MY TWO TESTS WHICH LEAVES TIME FOR ME TO STUDY FOR MY CHEM TEST IN LIKE ESTIMATED 2-3 WEEKS BUT THEN I KNOW I CANR STICK TO SCHEDULE 💔 if i finish my cooking assignment today somehow then ill be able to do this and i sleep at like 11 pm today bc momi got mad i slept at 12 yesterday HELP. IMSORYR MOM I FELT GROSS I HAD TO SHOWER AT 11 OR ELSE I WOUDLNT BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP

i usuallt shower once i get home from school but yesterday my dinner meal thign project was due so i wa slike ok i have to prioritize this over my own stinky AND I DID FINISH IT MUEHAUYAIEGAPBX NOW I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN BUT FINISH IT IN LIKE 4 HoursHELP HOW LONG SHOULD THIS EVEN TAKE HE SAID ITS REALLT SIMPLE AND COPY PASTE BUT IM ALSO REALLY SLOW WITH ASSIGNMENTS IN GENERAL .. ☹️i get distracted too easily HELP.

i dotn even have a lock in playlist like i do my liked songs on shuffle and skip wvery songim not innthe mood to listen to i actuallt need to invest in playlists or else i cant do this shuffle liked method anymore ……

illcome baxk if i finish my project early ….. ILL ACTUALLY LOCK IN TODAY TRUST BUT DAILT UQRSTION TIME

would you rather be a gojo plushie or a smiski figure im just starign at them and theyre like right next to each other HELP I HAVE TWO FIGURES FROM THE CHEER SERIES??? IDK EXACTLY BUT THEYRE CUTE I WAS GONNA COLLECT MORE BUT 15 DOLLARS PER SMISKI MYSTERY BOX IS KINDA A SCAM FOR ME 💔

- 🐙

HAII today was okayish for me as well my typing class was kinda fun the teacher wasn't scary today!

YIPPEE!! GOOD JOBB

HELP WHAT ALL OF THAT INN COOKING CLASS??

LMAO i hope you get upset or something.. that sounds mean HELOME IDK IF I SHOULD COMFORT OR NOT

LMAO making posters sounds fun tho.. yet I make legal documents in class🙄🙄

DANG GIRL DO YIU HAVE A LIST YOU CHECK OFF WHEN SIGNING TO CLUBS?

OMG NAGII I'm gonna work on my drafts maybe on friday.. and rin smau.. I got a random rin spark of inspiration when reading these romance mangas..

OH WAIT THAT REMINDED ME THAT I NEEDED TO GIVE YOU AN EDIT IDEA ILK THINK OF ONE

ew I hate history ALSO YOU CAN DROP OUT OF A CLASS? I mean i heard of it but idk.. I'm too caribbean for this HELP

when I used to do chem I was so confused but I somehow passed history on the other hand idk what i did or if I passed or not THATS HOW UNINTERESTED I WAS IN HISTORY BC THEY DONT TEACH US STUFF THAT APPARENTLY EVERYONE SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT WAS LIKE LOCAL STUFF AND IT WAS kinda boring.. SAME WITH WHEN I USED TO DO GEO THEY DIDNT TEACH US STUFF LIKE THE DIFFERENT CONTINENTS N STUFF MY FRIEND THOUGHT EGYPT WAS IN EUROPE I wasn't that bad like him.. BUT THATS MY POINT THEY DONT TEACH US IMPORTANT STUFF HERE so luckily I had business! well I chose business bc I wanna own my nursery or maybe a pre-school I like children and I have patience I think.. everyone thinks I'm crazy heh.. maybe I am..

HELPME THAT TEACHER REMINDS ME OF MY OLD DRAMA TEACHER he saw my gc messages once and HE TOOK OFF WITH MY PHONE

DANG SM MOTIVATION I wish I have that LMAO I asked my momma for help and she said when she used to go to school when she comes home she just go n play games ans she never studied she just had a good memory😂😂😐😒😒😒 I DONT I FORGOT WHAT I DID THIS MORNING I have no motivation hahaha..

YOUR MOM GETS MAD AT YOU? well mine does as well bc since I'm anemic I need 8 hours of rest bur (I don't go to sleep early) so I always get yelled at when I feel lightheaded BUT I TAKE NAPS IN THE AFTERNOON sometimes SO I HAVE A BURST OF ENERGY IN THE NIGHT plus I'm reading so

LMAO I GET DISTRACYED EASILY AS WELL that's why I'm up at 11pm and haven't started my notes bc imON MY PH9JE

ou playlisys are my favorite thing ti make! I have like 20 playlists public bc apparently I learnt my friends use them bc one asked me when I'm gonna update it and I'm like whag ans I have a bunch more in private

i woukd rather a smiski bc i searched it up and it looks cutiepie!

IDK WHAT'S A SMISKI OR WHAT SERIES IR HAVE

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary265

6/8-9/24

saturday - sunday

album is coming closer to being done...

worked on 5 songs today, one of them still needs work, leaving me at 4 more roughly completed and 3 more to go before this should be like, a touch closer to completion. excited about working more on the cover art. thinking about doing some extra collages for it though we'll see abt that.

throat still hurts very much. i hope it heals soon, whatever this is, it hurts to swallow right now, but speaking is okay, it's on the left side of my throat. i hope it's not like, something terribly wrong with a tonsil or something.

here's some pix i found, old photos of anime figs, i was listening to this song and the thumbnail made me want to go looking for more images like this, why, idk, some of the ones i found and am still looking for/at are old pics from some con in japan, called wonder-festival, they had people doing some cool looking garage figs as well:

here's the garage figs i really liked from wonder-festival:

plus,.,.,., check out this ggunnnn!!

this one's funny. idk what it's even from. i miss when guns in anime/games looked this bizarre. they need to do this again.

and here's some other pixx people took of their real figs:

and then here's an oddity i found, looking at a camera type used to take this pic:

which i sorted into a dif folder cuz it's a bjd, and it's a very pretty one and it's a very weird image, taken with the konica minolta dimage z1, i found this pic of flowers taken w/ that camera:

i like how fried and weird its color space seems to be.

and then this one:

i really want to figure out what she is from, sometimes i feel like that, whatever that is, a chest wound and thin, staring out at... idk. going #crazy. i guess.

anyway now i should play vtmb and get closer to finishing it... it's sad that the game gets less good as it goes on, like downright tragic. chinatown and then blehhh, tragic tragic, walking around santa monica is, as i said i think, perfect videogaming.

okay, i did the society of leopold stuff, which was fun, i used dominate magick (it feels cute / witchy to spell it that way... oh no... i really am like my mother) to make a bunch of the enemies in the level just kill themselves and then tranced them to suck their blood. it's crazy how easy that is. i need to finish out the thaumaturgy stuff to make it better. it's a fun zone, rather easy though, it feels like the start of the game is super tough and then difficulty kinda drops off. chinatown is like rather tough as well, and then,.. it goes easy on you with a bunch of human enemies without any potential for masquerade violation.

oh here's a pic from the other day, in the victoria's secret, it felt like, important, for some reason:

important as in descriptive of some kind of facile thing. idk, consumer-nightmare type thing, i love camera flash on wet drink straws, that always looks good and freakish to me.

anyway, i can't stay up too late, just for my own good. oh, but, today i did go walking on a treadmill for 30 minutes. i haven't done that since i was a kid, i think i should do that twice a week at least to keep my body, like this, i suppose. less about losing weight than maintaining weight... but if i get a little skinnier that would be cute.

anyway, for real this time:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[the-firebird69]

This is Jesus Christ his brain is intact and we checked it and Mac checked it and will and Bill checked it and only a few more but it is intact. It is entombed and really he's in danger and your people are sad sad losers he might hold the key in the secret and hardly got an attention. He should be revived to see if you saw something, we don't want that to happen then we prevented but boy your efforts are so lame and what you do and say is so lame and we don't have any record if him talking about it, we're writing about such an event ever and we know why he wants it for himself so he made the AI to take over the other AI to take over Saturday to Jupiter to build the lasers to build the ships to cream Earth and use captives that he's calling his own Army or at least a big chunk of it maybe his own Army and a bunch of captivess who knows. A lot of people saw computers go up there and your liars and your losers you're sitting around threatening him thinking to get something and everyone's just taking stuff from you cuz you're so lame this is this is exhausting what you're doing here your pigs who are demanding to die all the time and we're trying to kill you as fast as we can honestly

Hera

People who care about if you witnessed it or not I should be targeted first and you're a fat asses in the way demanded to be shot think about it

Zues

Oh boy ok. We certainly get that one it makes sense we don't care if you witnessed it or anything and we want to be slaughtered in their f****** face they all sorts of s*** I don't give a damn but this blows just do the stupid sewer on Friday for Christ's sake

Trump

That would be great we understand what we're doing we're getting rid of ourselves for people like mac and others because they either want to know or they did talk to him and we don't even know my friend says I don't think he knows and I think that he's just running this plan like we don't exist and furthermore he says the computer is talking about optics in other it might have those or it might be building them now and it might going to its records and JC may have put something somewhere and it's looking for it in places like check so check the Slovakia and you want the damn thing to find it and I was trying to get that too

Dan

Oh shit

Mac

Hahaha it's funny as hell it says it just like a black guy and it says my granddaddy is your granddaddy too and I see that and he's Giant and I saw that and I feel big and so you normally I like 6 ft 9 it might be Wilt Chamberlain that's fine

Garth

[ramayantika]

Sad stuff ahead. Do not progress if you don't want to be sad. Go eat a chocolate now and drink water.

Look I am terribly sorry that you never got your dream job that you never got into medicine. Some things don't really happen in life even if you work very hard and put a lot of passion and dedication to it. I am sorry that you never got good teachers who could make you understand stuff. I am sorry that right after graduation you were married off and before you got perhaps try out new courses and stuff I was born and you had to care for me. I am sorry that in the age and time when your friends were busy working and making their career you had me and care for me. I know this from such a young age and I am truly sorry. I am sorry that you are afraid that I would turn up like you. But you have not raised a daughter like that. I am not, I repeat I am not going to end up like you, or even you. No I shall not. I share your name, your blood not the same story. I pray that may the lord above removes this fear. May he make you bhaya mukta may he grant you peace.

I am sorry that I got ill and it gets tough for me to breathe and I am coughing. I am sorry that this is why I don't feel like eating much so i don't really speak to you. I am sorry that I am worried about my tests and my life. I am sorry, I really am. I am sorry that unlike my cousins and friends I don't look happy. If my best friends are happy that's perfectly good, they deserve all the happiness in their life. If they are sad, i am sorry i can't talk to them or be with them. But i hope they are all well and taking their exams happily.

I am sorry for being that little girl who was never free on stage while dancing while the others performed so well. I am sorry that I learnt things later. I am sorry that I never got that all rounder prize in school while managing studies and school and instead got that contribution to dance award. I remember that day what your words were. You were worried about your interview i totally i understand. Perhaps, that's why you congratulated me in the evening. I felt sad but I managed it. Nature congratated me earlier. It had given me a beautiful flower and a cute little leaf when I walked back home witj that dance prize. I am sorry that i made you worried these entire two years. I should have tried to understand your point instead of crying too myself all alone for months, for feeling lonely because I had shifted to a new school and a new place suddenly. I am sorry for being 'depressed' because I was trying to cope up with my new subjects. Perhaps I do think I could have managed it better like my friends did.

I am sorry for being that girl who did not make friends easily. I am sorry for being shy. I am sorry for zoning out so much, for loving my own company because I loved to notice hills and flowers, the sun and the moon talking to me in their own way.

I am sorry for not being that bold outspoken girl. I am sorry for never sharing my feelings with you all as I spent months hitting my fists on the bathroom wall expecting them to bleed but I stopped because I realized it wasn't worth it. I have tried to hurt myself physically because I was upsetting you and the house. and I am sorry for that. I still upset you all nevertheless. I am sorry for never making you proud. I am sorry for getting less marks in maths, for never getting those medals and trophies my brother has.

I am sorry for a lot if things. Thank you may the gods above bless you to be happy.

[ilovethecolorpink]

college is just *goes fucking insane*

[ratmonky]

Out of Body Experience

Word Count: 4.9K

Warnings: semi-public

AO3 Link

[You matched with Maru!]

[Send Maru a message!]

Maru: Hey.

(username): hiii!!

Maru: You look cute in your pictures on your profile.

(username): omg you think so?? i’m really happy!! i thought you had a rlly cool bio,,, i guess i did the right choice to like your bio

Maru: Thanks. I was surprised to get a notification that we matched. You’re way out of my league.

(username): don’t say that maruuu~ i bet you look handsome irl

Maru: I don’t.

(username): hmm, wanna prove it?? >.<

Maru: I don’t know.

(username): don’t be shy!! ur bio said you lived in kyoto, wanna meet up this saturday?

Maru: You’ll be disappointed.

(username): i promise i won’t!!! i like meeting new ppl!!! besides if we didn’t click we can still be friends?? i feel like you and i will be close no matter what!!

Maru: Are you sure? We just met.

(username): yep!!! come ooooonnnnn it’ll be fun to hang out!!

Maru: Fine.

(username): yay!!! let’s meet in front of the train station!! ahh i’m so excitedddd i can’t waittt TwT

Maru: Me too.

(username): <3

[Maru: <3………….. (send)]

Kokichi paused and deleted the message.

Maru: See you.

~~~

Kokichi’s first impression of you was that you were naive and careless. You wanted to meet up with him without any hesitation, what if he was someone who could harm you?

He stared at his screen and at your pictures.

You were gorgeous, he had never seen someone as pretty as you. On top of all that you wanted to meet him.

It made him feel special, wanted even.

~~~

When a notification sound filled his ears, Kokichi immediately checked if it was from you.

(username): maruuuuu!!!! i missed u  ))):

He stared at the message and read it three times but didn’t quite understand why you would miss him.

Maru: What?

(username): i thought you’d text me but u didn’t,,, i couldn’t sleep cuz i was thinking about u

Maru: I didn’t think you wanted me to text you.

(username): )):

Maru: ?

(username): )))):

Maru: (:

(username): (((((:

Maru: You’re childish aren’t you?

(username): what about it q;

Maru: Nothing. How old are you anyway?

(username): old enough to drinkkkk!!!

Maru: Me too. Which Jujutsu college are you going to?

(username): ohh, hehe… i dropped out cuz it wasn’t my thing

Maru: That’s irresponsible. Did you drop because you couldn’t keep up with your curse classes or was it for some other reason?

(username): maruuuu stop talking about jujutsu with meee!!!

Maru: Then what should we talk about?

(username): about our date >.<

Maru: Date?

(username): did u forget already )):

Maru: Forget what?

(username): our date on saturday )):

Maru: That’s a date?

(username): TwT ur making me sad maru

Maru: I don’t understand it, we just said we’d meet up.

(username): this is a dating website for ppl like us ///:

Maru: You want to date me?

(username): idk anymore,,, seems like ur a heartbreaker and i feel like u don’t feel a connection between us as i do

Maru: Wait! Don’t jump to conclusions all by yourself! You don’t even know what I look like, how can you be so sure that you want to date me?

(username): i mean,,, we matched for a reason,,, i liked ur bio and wanted to get to know u better is that bad??

Maru: No. No, it isn’t. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm new to this sort of stuff.

(username): apology accepted!!!! ahhhh ur so cute,,, i can’t wait to meet u

Maru: Same here.

~~~

His classmates knew something was up. Robotic demeanor was gone and instead, it was actually a part of himself as Kokichi that was showing through.

“Mechamaru looks happy nowadays,” Kamo noted.

“It’s relieving that he shows us a softer side of himself,” Miwa added. “Makes me feel happy for him.”

“I wonder what caused him to become this way.” Kamo was talking to himself but Todo took it upon himself to answer.

“He has finally found himself a Takada-chan.” Todo grinned. “Reminds me, I never asked him what his type of woman is.”

There was a moment of silence before Todo walked out into the campus garden to make his way towards Mechamaru.

Mechamaru didn’t notice his presence as he was watering the flowers.

“Yo.”

“Todo. Did you need something?”

“What’s your type of woman?”

Caught off guard, Mechamaru dropped the watering can. “I… I think someone who’s kind and cheerful.” Someone who’s submissive.

“Like I guessed.” Todo held his chin between the knuckle of his forefinger and thumb as he hummed thoughtfully. “You’re as lifeless as your puppet.”

~~~

What did that suppose to mean?

Kokichi was just telling the truth.

Right?

~~~

Days passed until Friday came.

Kokichi talked to you almost every day and whenever he could. He seemed to enjoy your company more than he thought he would when the two of you first matched.

He woke up to your messages and went to sleep only after he texted you goodnight.

Today, he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his ribcage, he could hear his own pulse when it got too quiet and it was dead silent in his hideout… as always.

All he could think about was your date tomorrow. He had made sure to dress up Mechamaru nicely for the occasion and checked the weather report thrice so the date wouldn’t be ruined because of anything out of his control.

There was still something that made him extremely anxious. What if you didn’t like him? What if everything went terribly and you blocked his number?

He needed something to distract him from these negative thoughts.

Maru: Hey.

(username): maruuuu!!!! what r u doin??

Maru: Going to sleep soon, I think.

(username): without me (;

Maru: Never.

(username): i’m blushing

Maru: How are you?

(username): fine, i'm doing skincare tonight to get ready for our date!!

Maru: About that...

(username): ....

(username): are you going to cancel our date?

Maru: No! I’m just anxious about it.

(username): good cuz i’d block u

Maru: I don’t think you would.

(username): you don’t know me

Maru: Because you never told me about yourself.

(username): ^-^; haha yeah,,, so,,, what would you like to know?

Maru: Everything.

Without even noticing the passing time, Kokichi chatted with you until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.

He learned everything about you. From the earliest memory, you could recall about your first interaction with a cursed spirit to your latest obsession with an online game about cute animals.

His eyelids were getting heavier, he texted you goodnight and how he was excited to meet you tomorrow.

When he closed his eyes, this time he managed to fall asleep.

~~~

You pressed your phone to your chest and kicked at your sheets. The excitement was eating you up, the butterflies in your stomach wouldn’t calm down either. All because of someone you met online a couple of days ago.

It wasn’t something new to you to meet up with people you met online but this felt a lot different.

Previous times, you had used different dating apps or social media websites to make friends but this was the first time you had used a dating website specifically for people who knew the existence of curses.

Jujutsu sorcerers often found it hard to find someone they could click with because of their field of work but this website had risen up to popularity from day one. Your old classmates from your jujutsu college wouldn’t shut up about it so you gave it a go after their insisting.

Maru was one of the first people you matched with on the website. In his profile, he had written about how he wanted to find someone he could be himself with and date them.

That’s why tomorrow, you had to be on your best behavior so he could be himself around you.

~~~

You were twenty minutes early.

It wasn’t your intention to arrive this early but whether it be the excitement to meet up with Maru or not wanting to make him wait if your train was late-

Wait, those were all connected.

Letting out a sigh, you checked your phone. Yep, still twenty minutes. Once you put it back in your purse, your eyes scouted around the station. There weren’t any empty spaces for you to sit so you were standing by a meeting point next to the maps, hoping Maru would see you.

Although you didn’t know what he looked like, you had put effort into how you looked today so you could impress him. Deep inside, you hoped he would take notice of your appearance and compliment you but some men were just too dense.

From the way he had started texting you, he gave you the impression that he was one of those stoic and dense men but as you started to get to know him better, he turned out to be quite a friendly person. Very talkative and caring.

You pressed a hand on your cheek, you were burning up. Geez, were you really blushing this much because of him?

When you told your friends about this date, they had told you not to have too many expectations about Maru. They believed you were being catfished but it wasn’t possible, you didn’t want to meet him because of his appearance after all.

“Um, excuse me-”

Startled, you lifted your head to stare at a… robot?

You stepped away from its way, thinking that you were standing in front of its charging station or something. How long had it been since you had gone out? Had robots already taken over? Or was this one of those public pranks?

The robot was staring at you even after you moved away.

“(username)?”

You lifted your gaze and looked at the robot with wide eyes. “M-M-Maru?”

It nodded, “Mechamaru.”

No, it wasn’t a robot. You could sense cursed energy oozing from it. More like a cursed doll. Nevertheless, you were speechless.

There was a long pause before you spoke. “Ah, I...” You looked around as if you were searching for an exit and anxiously clutching on your purse.

Great, you were going to make up an excuse and go away. Just like he thought you would.

“I thought I was going to meet you, not a puppet.”

“I’m here,” he said, static sizzling noise coming from him was like nails on a chalkboard. “I just can’t be physically here because of my condition.”

“You could’ve told me about it first… ahh, sorry.” You sounded more annoyed than you would have liked but quickly covered it up by bowing your head to greet him. “Nevermind, I’m (name).”

“Are we going to use real names?”

“Well, I’m not gonna call you Megaman.” There was a smile.

“Mechamaru,” he corrected. After a short silence, he added, “Kokichi.”

“Nice to meet you Kokichi, I hope we can get along well.” You bowed yet again.

“Why are you being so formal?”

“It’s cuz…” You pointed at him.

“What?”

“Well…” You used both hands to gesture his whole body.

“If you say it’s because I’m a robot or anything similar to that, I’ll go home.” He sounded serious, or maybe it was because of the static.

You pouted and leaned forward on your tiptoes, “If I can’t even joke around then I’ll go home.”

“I thought you were looking forward to our date.” When you blushed at his words he spoke again. “You look cuter than your pictures.”

“Ahh, you really think so?” You started walking and he followed after you.

“I do.” He was keeping a large space between the two of you, whenever you tried to walk closer to him, he would move away but now when you were caught in the station with the crowd who were going home after work hours, you had to stay close to him.

You were being pushed against Kokichi thanks to the crowd trying to walk out of the station and he didn’t complain about it. Kokichi didn’t look at you, he thought about the things he read on the internet instead.

‘If you want your date to consider you as manly, you have to invest yourself to talk to her.’

“Your dress looks cute.” Kokichi came up with ‘the compliment her outfit’ route, he had seen men flirt before, he could do it too.

He stared down for a moment to see your reaction.

Bingo!

You smiled brighter than the sun, you played with your hair to give him a playful answer. “Thank you, I wore this just for our date.” Your eyes shined with small sparkles in them. “I really like your collar.” You pointed at his face, not too close, hesitant to invade his personal space. I’m here with his puppet not him, you reminded yourself.

“Thanks.”

When the two of you finally exited the station, you walked alongside him.

“Where to?” He nonchalantly asked while you were looking around the streets.

“What about karaoke?” You gave him an inviting smile, “It’d be fun.”

“Whatever you say.” He wasn’t sure which way you were taking. There was the main street and Kyoto's red-light district, of course, he knew you wouldn’t be going there. “Which street are we going for?”

You pointed to your right, “The main street, there is a karaoke place I know.” Your smile altered when you noticed how this time when you walked together to cross the street, it was close, your shoulder touched his fake biceps.

“I’m not good at singing for obvious reasons.” Back in his bathtub, Kokichi said it in a joking manner but thanks to the cursed puppet, it sounded a lot as if he was annoyed about the idea of going into karaoke. He bit his tongue and cringed, waiting for your reaction.

“You can still try, can’t you?” You gave him the best puppy eyes you could. “For me?”

Kokichi blushed but you weren’t able to see it through Mechamaru. “Y-yeah.”

“Oh, I didn’t know robots could stutter.”

“I didn’t stutter and I’m not a robot. This is a cursed puppet and sometimes the commands I give are interrupted, that’s why I-”

“You’re so easy to tease just as I guessed!”

Kokichi covered his mouth with his hand, watching you giggle at him through his screen.

“Here it is.” Pointing at a sign, you grabbed his arm and dragged him with you.

While you were showing him the prices, he was busy staring down at your shirt. He could… he could see your cleavage.

“The menu says they serve alcohol at this hour! Ahh, the prices are cheaper than the last time too! We can share the tab-” You stopped yourself from talking. Silence brought him out of his trance. “Oops, sorry. You can’t eat or drink through Megaman, right?”

“Mechamaru,” he corrected. “No, I can’t… But it’s on me anyway.”

“You’ll pay?” Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars. Your pouting lips and hand on his chest didn’t help.

Kokichi looked away, blushing. “Y-yeah.”

“Y-you’re the best!” Mocking his stuttering, you offered him a cute smile. Then you went on to drag him inside while telling him about how this place was the best karaoke place in Kyoto because they served desserts and your favorite cocktail. All the while renting a room for the two of you.

“Would you like to share with others?” The employee asked.

“No.” Your answer was instantaneous.

Behind the register, the employee stared at Kokichi and down at you. It was easy to tell he thought the two of you were a mismatch. “Your room is to the left, you can order through the smart tablet. Have fun.”

“Thanks,” you said before walking past the register. When Kokichi caught up with you, you turned around. “Did you see the way he stared? So lame!”

“Well, anyone would have stared if they saw a pretty girl next to a robot.”

“So, you’re accepting you’re a robot?” You grinned, opening the door to the private room.

“That’s not what I meant!” He didn’t know what he was expecting. From the way you texted, he should have known you were this childish and unable to have a serious conversation.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing.” He closed the door behind him as you were ordering as many drinks as you could. Once he noticed you were about to order the entire menu, he barely managed to stop you by taking the smart tablet away from your hands. “Hey, I’m not rich!”

“It’s cheap, trust me!” You pouted your lips again, reaching for the smart tablet he was holding above your head.

His stare found the menu and froze. It was cheaper than he had thought like you said. He had never been somewhere like this, nobody could blame him for it.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice,” he said as he handed the device back to you.

“I was showing you the menu earlier, you weren’t listening, were you?” Your smile widened, eyes squinting knowingly.

“I was listening! You’re talking way too much, I can’t keep up!”

You crossed your legs, continuing to add stuff to your order.

It got quiet.

Realizing what he had said was rude, he apologized.

“It doesn’t sound genuine.”

“It’s because I’m talking through a puppet.”

“Exactly.”

You weren’t looking at him. Putting the tablet aside, you leaned back on the soft cushions. The mood had changed. When you weren’t talking, it was too quiet.

Decidedly, he walked over to the karaoke machine and grabbed two microphones. He sat next to you, placing one of the microphones next to you as he reached for the tablet.

There were way too many songs in the system and he knew none of them.

Scrolling further, he found Takada-chan’s songs.

“You like Takada-chan?” you asked, noticing how he had stopped scrolling.

“No,” he replied. “My friend-” Was he really his friend? “My friend likes her, he won’t stop talking about her and all.”

“I like her,” you said. “I’ve been to her meet and greets many times but they’re always ruined by some buff dude who has the most tickets. He’s always at the events, kinda creepy but seems like he supports her. He once beat up some guy who insulted her.”

Kokichi didn’t say anything. He didn’t want that guy to be the icebreaker on his date.

“Creepy,” he uttered before putting the tablet on your lap. “You should sing, I don’t know any of these songs.”

“None of them?” You raised a brow.

“None.”

“You’re so boring,” you murmured, clicking on the first song you saw.

The loud music filled the room and his hideout. You tapped on the microphone, “Check, one, two. Kokichi is sooooo boring!”

Your laughter was the next thing that filled his hideout. He chuckled but it came out as a static noise through Mechamaru.

While you were singing, the same employee came with two trays full of drinks and snacks, he left them on the table before leaving immediately. None of you paid any mind as you were changing the lyrics to tease Kokichi.

“Are those really the lyrics?” he asked.

“Yep!”

Another giggle.

Too cute.

Very cute.

He watched you stop singing for a brief moment to chug down your third drink. Your cheeks were flushed red from the booze and your neck was sweaty, you kept fanning your hand towards your face.

His gaze focused on a particular sweat droplet on your neck and idly watched as it drizzled down to your cleavage before disappearing under the fabric of your dress.

Kokichi tried focusing on something else but he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from you. Every single thing you did was seductive. When you bit onto a small rice cake or the way your lips closed around the straw of your drink and how your cheeks hollowed when you tried sucking the last bits of your cocktail in your mouth.

The last drop had to be when you grabbed an ice cube from your drink and held it over the skin of your chest.

His hand pressed on his lower half. He was thankful he wasn’t physically there or he would have been labeled as a pervert. Under the soothing medical liquid, he had a problem you didn’t need to see.

You weren’t singing anymore but the music was playing nonetheless to suppress the silence as Kokichi was practically undressing you with his eyes.

“Heyyy, Kokichi~” you slurred, sitting closer to him. “You’re being too quiet!”

Taken aback, he spoke. “I’m not sure what to say?”

“Just talk…” you whined, putting a hand on his knee.

Oh, how he wished he could feel the warmth of your hand.

“Or better… Sing!” You held a microphone up to his face.

“I can’t sing,” he reminded.

“You said, you’d sing for meee~”

He blushed, taking the microphone from your hand. “I don’t know the lyrics.”

“It’s on the screen.”

Yes, the lyrics were on the screen.

He felt embarrassed, this was stupid. He wasn’t even actually in the room with you but he felt so nervous. His actual hands were shaking as he gulped.

When he started singing, you started laughing.

The static made it sound like he was an actual robot. Yet, Kokichi didn’t stop despite how tone-deaf his voice was coming through Mechamaru. He wanted to make sure you were having fun but the music stopped.

Both of you stared at the notification on the tablet, asking if you wanted to add another hour to your stay.

Had it already been an hour? Time was going fast when you two were having fun.

You looked at Kokichi.

He pressed to accept.

The music continued playing.

This time, Kokichi didn’t sing. The two of you started chatting about everything and anything until there was a lull in the conversation.

“Lemme see your hand,” you said, reaching your own towards him. He slowly placed his hand on your open one and you compared the size. “Wow, your hand is hugee, is your real hand this big?”

Funny, if not absurd. You were on a date with a puppet but you were getting turned on.

“It's the same size as my own hand.” His gaze dropped to his actual body. “At least one of them.”

“Can you feel that?” You intertwined your fingers with his.

“No.” He wasn’t looking and he didn’t need to look. The depressing realization that he was always going to watch people behind a screen and in this damn bathtub was starting to sink in once again.

“Can you feel this?” You were giggling.

“I told you, I can’t feel-” His breathing stopped at the sight of you pressing his hand on your breast.

“I wanna meet you, Kokichi~” Smiling enticingly, you sat closer to him. “It’s no fun when I can’t see if you’re blushing right now.” Your hand over his hand moved on your breast, the supple flesh jiggled under the front of your dress. “Are you blushing right now?”

“I am.” His answer was instant.

“You know,” you started, putting your free hand on his thigh and lifting your leg up on the cushion to face him. “I got all dressed up ‘cause I wanted you to lose your composure. You sounded so uptight and stoic. I wanted to see you lose it.” Tilting your head, you puckered your lips. “But you didn’t even come to our date.”

“I did.”

“Megaman did.”

“Mechamaru.”

“I wanted Kokichi to come.” You pulled his hand away from your breast and led it down to your stomach and even lower. “I wish you were here so you could feel how wet I am.”

“(name),” he said. “I can’t feel my fingers through Mechamaru.”

“Mm?” You placed his hand under the skirt of your dress. “But I can feel them.”

Kokichi’s actual hand started shaking in excitement as Mechamaru’s fingers brushed against your panties.

“Can’t I meet you?” Your voice was faint compared to the music but he heard it. “I wanna meet you.”

“You’ll be disappointed, I don’t look… normal.”

“You don’t look normal right now either.” Biting your lip, you moved against his hand. A soft gasp left your lips. “Yet, I’m so turned on right now.”

There were a thousand different thoughts invading his mind but Kokichi felt like he was hypnotized by your hips.

“Kokichiii, move your fingers,” you whined softly, your eyes hazy with lust.

“I need to see them,” he said. Back in his room, his own hand was pressing down on his growing erection. “Or I may move them wrong.”

“Pervert~” you teased, lifting the skirt of your dress up.

He didn’t say anything, instead focused his attention on your soaked panties. How long had you been this wet? From the moment you two rented the room or-

“Kokichi.” Your needy voice brought him out of his dirty thoughts. “You don’t have a cock under your pants, do you?” Your hand pressed against Mechamaru’s groin.

For the first time in his life, Kokichi felt his entire body jolt. Your vulgar way of asking was enough to get him rock hard. “No-”

“What a waste.” Sulking, you retrieved your hand. “But are you hard right now?”

“I… I am.”

A dangerous glint sparkled through your eyes. “If only you were here… I’d make you feel sooo good.”

Mechamaru’s fingers pressed against your clothed folds before moving along them. A soft moan left your lips and you balanced yourself on your hands.

“I look like a freak-”

“You keep saying that.” Your hips moved against his hand. “As if that matters to me.”

Mechamaru slid your panties to the side and spread your folds with two of his fingers, he carefully watched as wet strands connecting them together broke apart. Kokichi’s own hand was pumping his cock.

“What are you doing right now, Kokichi?”

“I’m putting a finger inside.” He inserted one of his fingers inside you.

“No, what are you really doing?” You bit your lip.

“I’m… I’m jerking off.”

Satisfied with his answer, you crossed a leg over his to settle on his lap with your back against his chest. Spreading your legs wider, you allowed him a better view of your wet pussy. Mechamaru’s digits slid inside as Kokichi moved his hand along the length of his cock.

Mechamaru’s other hand went to cup your breast over your shirt, making a moan escape your lips.

His fingers were reaching deeper than your own fingers ever could. The digits moved in a scissoring motion and curled against your gummy walls, pressing against the spot that made your vision blurry.

“Kokichi,” gasping, you squirmed on his lap, your back arched when his thumb grazed over your clit. “I wanna kiss you so bad.”

Kokichi’s hand tightened around the tip of his cock, he pulled the sensitive skin down to expose the pink tip and massaged it using his thumb. When his hand started moving along his cock again, the device helping him talk through Mechamaru picked up the clicking sound rather than the medical fluid splashing.

You moaned at the realization of what you were hearing.

The feeling of the metallic firm fingers stroking your clit made your hips buck against his hand. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, panting, you pressed your thighs together.

Mechamaru’s hand on your chest moved down on your thigh to hold you in place as his fingers inside your pussy started to vibrate. The sudden pleasure made you scream but the loud music concealed it.

Kokichi couldn’t breathe normally, his pulse had gone haywire as his hand was moving hastily around his cock while Mechamaru’s digits were messing you up.

“S-s-s-stop!” Your voice broke into a moan.

“Do you really want me to stop?” He barely managed to ask, his hand wouldn’t stop.

You shook your head rapidly, biting your lip.

Your walls clenched around the digits, sucking them in deeper. Kokichi’s own hand was moving faster than his heartbeat. His tongue lolled out of his mouth and his shoulders tensed.

He was close.

From the way you were shaking, he could say the same thing for you.

So, when Mechamaru pushed his digits further inside, the vibration got stronger and stronger until your legs shook. The pleasure that was building in your gut suddenly got released, shaking you to your core.

Kokichi followed suit, his cock spurted thick clumps of cum and they landed on his stomach, his bandages absorbed his seed.

By the time he caught his breath, he realized you were still on his lap.

Mechamaru had gone limp as he had gotten distracted because of his orgasm. He revived the cursed doll while you were trying to fix your dress.

You wanted to say something but you couldn’t find something to say.

To your rescue, the music stopped.

The tablet had the same notification from before. Informing you that the second hour had ended and if you wanted to rent the room for one more hour.

Kokichi leaned forward and pressed on the tablet to end the session.

“We’re leaving already?” you pouted your lips.

“You said you wanted to meet me.”

Kokichi watched as the brightest smile he had ever seen formed on your face.

After he paid the tab the two of you exited the building as he held you up with one hand because your legs weren’t functioning properly.

“The employee behind the register noticed your wobbly legs,” Kokichi said.

“You think so?” you whispered, cheeks and ears colored in bright red.

“He was looking, so, yes.”

“You kinda went overboard by using Megaman’s vibrator hands.” Your giggle filled his ears and he smiled to himself.

“It’s Mechamaru.”

[shotosimp1]

naps

sugawara x GN!reader.

Authors note: helloooo this is my first ever fic so if I did something wrong or its low key cringe don't hate me lmaoo so this fic is basically that you're daichis sibling and you and sugawara are like close friends who love taking naps togather I don't want to spoil anything so I'm going to stop here. ⚠️Important note⚠️: when suga is talking the text colour is purple. And when you're talking its blue :D genre: fluff. warnings: nothing but if there is dont be afraid to tell me! Here is this playlist i made for this fic i hope you like it! :D

being daichi's sibling came with its pros and cons. I cant lie to you he is a good brother but that doesnt mean he isnt protective of you. And no, no boyfriends. But the best thing about being daichis sibling is that you would get to spend time with the one and only crush of yours sugawara koushi. Everything about him just made you happy. He is so caring and sweet you just couldn't halp yourself from falling for him. And because sugawara and daichi met in middle school they were very close. And with that he came over to hang out like at least once a week. You didn't mind as long as daichi let you be around for a bit you just wanted to be around cutie

And with that you and him would chat every now and then Just getting to know each other more. Both of you would talk about your hobbies and interests and life etc. You just found him so interesting you just kept wanting to be around him more and more. And daichi as the good brother he is will try to leave you two alone for a couple of minutes to have a good conversation together and would excuse himself with "oh im going to the bathroom" or " um im going to get a snack" and it works too!!

Finals were close and the boys, daichi suga and asahi came over to study it was their second year and you were a first year student. Suga would help you study and help you understand the things you couldn't and all that jazz. You felt kinda flustered whenever he says "good job!!" And gives that warm smile of his. It was around 1:12 pm and all of you were too focused on your work and didn't remember lunch....Yeah I know unbelievable. "Mmmm god I'm so hungry" "shoot we didn't eat lunch" daichi said looking at the clock "its 2 something pm there is still time for that just go order _______ or something" -"ahh your probably right" asahi said "okay okay should we all go get _______ i mean we should get our mussels movi-" "im not going anywhere im tired" "okay fine what about you asahi?" -daichi- "sure" "and what about you ____?" -asahi- "nahh I would rather stay sorry.." "eh its okay we'll get going yeah?" -daichi- " yeah let's go" -asahi- and boom you two are alone.

"You look kinda sleepy" he said as he chuckled for about. 10 minutes both of you were kinda silent he was laying on his tummy on the sofa while you sat on the floor near the desk you were studying on. "Kinda actually" "oh? Well mabye you should take a nap" "sure.. but uh you look sleepy too" "hm? Oh yeah i am " you both laughed a bit. "Wanna sleep in my room? It would be more comfortable there?" " well what about you?" "My bed is big i will be just finee" seconds after you said that he starts..to grin? "Ooou you wanna sleep with me that bad?" "You're honestly making me regret my choices." "Hey!" "You can sleep on the sofa bye bye!" You said as your going to your room and him of course following you.

"Cute room kinda messy tho" he laughed " can you leave me and my "messy" room alone" "fine fine" he said chuckling. Both of you layed on the bed and him falling asleep almost instantly from how tired he was. It was peaceful sleeping next to him. I mean yes you were blushing at the thought of him being so close to you but it still felt so peaceful and nice. You turned around to face him. It sounds like too much but he looked like an angle. You stared at his features for quit a while.. he's just so nice to look at. "Can't sleep?" "what the hell!? You scared the living shit out of me!" He laughed. He asked you again "can you not sleep?" " yeah actually" you said still mad at him for scaring you like that. He asked if he can come closer and you said yes. He but a hand on the back of your head and gently guiding it to his chest. And with that your head is on your crushes chest. You tried your best to not show how surprised and flustered you were. "Do you feel comfortable? Can i put my hand on your back? it would feel even better" "s-sure I don't mind" he started to rub soothing circles on your back. Seconds after that you fell asleep..in his mf arms ahh.

"Sorry we took so long the line there was kinda long" No response. Both asahi and daichi left the house for about an hour. They looked around the living room to see that no one was there. "Hm that's wierd" -asahi- daichi agreed as he went to check your room to see if your there. "Oh.my.god." asahi heard him and went to see what's up. "Wait aww that's kinda cute" "what! No its not!" Asahi laughed at how angry he was from just seeing his best friend cuddling his younger sibling. "Hey..hey! HEY!!" "Hmm what what do you want cant you see were sleeping here ugh" " yeah i CAN see and get your filthy-" " why are you so mad? Its not like I did something to them I was just helping them sleep" " I mean he has a point..plus I'm sure its just a nap" -asahi- "ugh fine...CAN YOU ATLEAST MOVE YOUR HAND OH MY GOD" "Why are you yelling...?" You said as you got woken up from your brothers yelling "its nothing..get up its time to eat" daichi said as he went downstairs to eat. Asahi mouthed a 'sorry' to both of you and went to fallow him. "Did you sleep well? I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable or anything.." "No no!! It.. it was nice thank you" "great!! Let's go downstairs now im starving..." you both laughed as you went downstairs to eat.

From that day whenever the both of you found the chance to nap together you would do it. Suga tired from practice? nap time! Stressed? Nap time! Sad? Nap time! It's like both of you were nap buddies and you loved it. Daichi couldn't really do anything at this point. Don't get me wrong he was SO happy when you actually found someone to hang out with and actually be comfortable around. But he just didn't like the fact that the both of you were so touchy its like you guys were dating. But you always denied him saying "no no he's just a close friend nothing else!!!!" Until...

It was a Saturday night you and suga were in your room watching a barbie film. It was a chill night both of you got snacks and watched the movie in peace. sugawara kept giving you these side eye glances every now and then you noticed them but didn't say anything. It was the last 20 minutes of the movie and he did it again but this time it was a side glance his eyes were fully on you. "What?" He giggled and said nothing. You were confused a bit so you paused the movie and looked at him. "Is there something on my face?" "No..you just look pretty" he smiled. Both of you were eye to eye and very close. His eyes would go from your eyes to your lips as he came even closer. He gently took your hand in his as he said "can i kiss you?" You were in shock your heart was beating as you nodded. It was gentle and sweet you swore you could right a whole essay about how that kiss was the best thing you have ever experienced. "AHM AHM!!!" Both of you pulled away almost instantly as you saw daichi standing in your bedrooms doorstep "listen- its not what it looks like okay??" "Uhuh..koushi have you been dating my sibling behind my back?" "WHAT? no!! I swear-" "come downstairs cuz we have some stuff to discuss here"

You sat there confused but genuinely so happy 'I kissed him..' 'holy shit i actually kissed him!!' your mind was running with thoughts 'wait what if we start dating?' 'Oh my god!!!!' 'Wait what did daichi mean when he said "discuss some things"??' "Hey im back..." he smiled nervously at you "oh hi!" He smiled as he sat down on the bad next to you "um suga" "yes?" "what did my brother 'discuss' with you downstairs?" "You know "don't hurt their feelings!!" And "don't even think about cheating on them!" And he may or may not threatened to kill me if I did" you giggled "all that because of a kiss? Its not like were dating" " ..Well what would you do if I asked you to be my partner right now hm?" "Uhhh!!??!!? I- I dont know mabye say yes or something" he laughed "well then do you want to be my lovey dovey partner?" You giggled a bit as you nodded "tsk, man i kinda wanted to hear you say "yes please please i do!!" Oh well.." "really suga.."

I hope you guys liked it ♡ again this is my first time ever writing fics so I hope its not that bad

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[imbeccablee]

HAPPY BIRTH TO OUR LITTLE GREEN FERAL BOI-HC about how his birthday were when he was younger compared to now? (bonus points for Mama Inko being the only constant and for steadily more and more people being at his parties and deku having no idea how to deal with so many people who love him)

oh you KNOW I'm here for that Izuku angst!!! (sorry this is late, I didnt see this until yesterday night lmao)

before Izuku was diagnosed, he would invite katsuki and those other boys over after daycare. it would always be a little awkward bc technically those other boys are more katsuki's friends than Izuku's but their parents made them go anyway bc it was the nice thing to do

oftentimes the rest of the party would end up with the boys playing with Izuku's new toys (which made him a lil upset but his mom says he should share and not be selfish and besides, these are his friends, he wants them to like him, so its whatever. it is) and also playing Heroes (this is the one of the few times Izuku is allowed to play a hero with katsuki (bc theres no way in heck katsuki would play a villain) and Izuku LIVES for it)

usually the other boys will leave and katsuki will spend the night. this is always the best part for Izuku because, while katsuki does keep showing off, it's almost softer in a way, like the fact that it's just the two of them, alone, with the rest of the world shut out makes katsuki relax and unwind. izuku doesnt understand why katsuki isnt like this all the time. he doesnt know how to ask, either.

this of course ends with his fifth birthday. the months following his fourth, he eagerly awaits the arrival of his quirk, but it never shows. a week after his fifth birthday (which had been even more awkward and embarrassing since his quirk still hadn't manifested), he is diagnosed. and, well, nobody wanted to go to his party after that.

the kids thought he was weird and lame and the parents were afraid their own kids would hurt him somehow if they were to come over, because they all believed the quirkless to be weak and fragile. this of course also meant that none of the kids were allowed to invite him over to their parties, the only exception being katsuki's. and then katsuki fell off a log into a shallow river and izuku tried to help him up and, well.

he still invites people, oh yes. the first few years, he makes little invitation cards drawn in all might colors and an enthusiastic "you're invited!" on the front. inko, the sweetheart, helps put them in envelopes and carefully stored them in Izuku's backpack and Izuku passes them out. the first time no one shows, izuku is devastated. the second time, after yet another year of being downgraded and belittled and beaten and ignored, he is still devastated, but he is not surprised. the third time, it aches and aches and aches, and he decides he's not going to make cards anymore. it's just a waste of time and paper.

inko tried so very hard. those first few birthdays After were completely unsalvageable, but after the third (when Izuku accepted no one would come) they got better. izuku was still sad and inko was still guilty, but they always had a lovely time with katsudon and cake and all might specials. sometimes, his dad would even remember to call and wish him a happy birthday. izuku was- well, not happy, but content. he had his mother. he had his conviction, his dream. what else could he need?

(he steadfastly ignored the longing, the ache. nothing he could do would fix it so there was no point in dwelling on it. it was stupid to feel that way anyway. his birthday was just another day of the week, the month, the year. it didnt matter. he shouldnt feel so bad about it. it didnt matter)

he didn't even think about telling all might his birthday. by the time he was 14 going on 15, he didnt really care about it. it had just been a day he got a gift or two from his mother, his favorite dinner, and a night spent rewatching all might documentaries or movies or interviews. you know, like basically every night, but like, older this time. so he doesnt mention it and all might never brought it up, so his 15th birthday comes and goes like every other birthday did after his 8th.

the truth of the matter was all might figured Izuku would mention it at some point during his training, like offhandedly saying he had to get home early so he could have a celebration, or make small talk about what he'd gotten, or even ask for the day off. but Izuku never did and all might felt too awkward to ask when it was (he didnt want to seem too eager to shower young Izuku with presents like something deep inside him begged for with a vengeance, even though he very much wanted to give Izuku literally anything he asked for. it is a troubling feeling), so all might just assumed his birthday hadn't come up yet.

then all might finally gets a look at Izuku's file, since all might is now a teacher, and sees 07/15/XXXX written and probably breaks the speed of sound with how quickly he calls izuku

"why didnt you tell me about your birthday!!" "wh- I mean- it's just not that big of a deal, I didnt think it was-" "NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL???"

he takes Izuku out to a very belated and nice birthday dinner and has to force an incredibly rare piece of decommissioned all might merch from his early days into Izuku's hands. despite his embarrassment and initial reluctance, that day is ranked in the top ten of his favorite days.

izuku doesnt learn his lesson, however, and neglects to tell his newly acquired friends about his date of birth. the only reason they find out is because all might, having been passing them by at the end of the school day, wished him a happy birthday.

"IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY????" "uraraka please its not a big deal-" "I have to disagree midoriya, today should be special!" "I mean, I dont think birthdays are all that important either" "THANK YOU todoroki"

(and then Izuku thinks for 2 seconds WHY Todoroki thinks birthdays are unimportant and gets sad again but we're not focusing on that rn)

ochako DEMANDS that they celebrate bc theres no way in hell she's allowing her best friend to go without a birthday celebration with friends, but Izuku insists that they at least wait until summer vacation starts in less than a week, especially since he cant just come home with three friends without telling his mom

ochakos like >:( for a second, but concedes bc that's fair and then she launches herself at Izuku and gives him a big ole hug and says "happy birthday!!!" izuku's all sputtering and blushing, and then he feels a hand on either arm and Iida and Todoroki give him warm smiles and wish the same and it takes a good five minutes for his face to calm down and for him to come out from behind his arms once Ochako releases him.

so he tells his mom that his friends want to come over to celebrate soon and inko is just like 😭😭😭😭😭 because FINALLY her boy has GOOD FRIENDS who want to CELEBRATE HIM and Izuku freaks out cuz his mom is crying but she waves him off and tells him to tell the dekusquad that they can come over on saturday and that they can spend the night and that they'll have a wonderful time!!!

izuku relays two-thirds of that information in their group chat and they all agree and then basically Izuku is dreading the weekend bc the few birthday parties he's had with his "friends" before hadn't been all that great (besides the sleepover part with katsuki, though their current animosity kinda makes the memories bittersweet), and like, while he knows objectively Ochako, iida, and Todoroki are Much Better than those boys from his childhood, he just doesnt have a good frame of reference for how these things go.

anyway, so Saturday comes around and Izuku is just listlessly lazing around while his mother finishes cooking ("let me help you mom-" "nuh uh, this is for YOUR celebration mister, you arent doing a THING today), and then theres an enthusiastic knock on his door, and when he goes and opens it his friends greet him with yet another cheer of "happy birthday deku/midoriya!!"

izuku smiles because its sweet even if he doesnt particularly care about birthdays, and invites them in. they set their presents on the table and Izuku's like "you didnt have to!!" and Ochako's like "NONSENSE" and Iida is like "how could we show up at your birthday celebration without presents???" and todoroki's like "any chance to spend endeavour's money on things he wouldnt like is a chance I will never not take" and Izuku is just like akdjajdhajsb when his mom finally comes and greets them

and like. it's nice. it's really really REALLY freaking nice. Izuku didnt realize how much he was actually missing having people with him in his home besides his mom until they were there. there's a wonderful warmth filling his chest as they all eat his mother's homemade katsudon and talk about school and how excited they are for the upcoming summer trip. and when heroes come up, they ask him about different quirks and how they work and what he thinks of this hero and that hero and the only time he's interrupted from his tangents is when he stops himself because he's embarrassed for talking for so long. and then they smile and prompt him some more, saying they love hearing him talk about the stuff that interests him, and can anyone really blame him for bursting into tears?

his friends are alarmed but his mom just smiles, tearing up herself, and she asks if he'd like a big hug, and he nods, face burning bright, and then they all gather him in a warm, enveloping embrace, and he wonders how in the hell he survived without this for so long?

he's so warm and loved and for the first time in forever he feels happy during his birthday celebration.

his 16th birthday party is so incredibly different from the parties he held before he was diagnosed and from the birthdays he spent with only his mother. he'd forgotten that feeling of being cared for by people who didnt need to, or rather he'd never really known it. there's a slight twinge that it took so long for him to learn this feeling, but it's completely overshadowed by the pure elation he feels at finally being able to breathe and relax and let himself be loved.

his friends still look concerned and they obviously have questions, but they dont pry as they all continue with the party. he opens their presents and cries again and then they watch a ton of hero movies and he cries a little more. iida worries he'll dehydrate himself and Ochako fuckin loses it and Todoroki has such a soft look on his face and GOD how has Izuku lived without friends? without THEM?

it's late when they turn in, with futons and mountains of pillows and blankets surrounding them on the living room floor. izuku is nestled between Ochako and Todoroki, and he stares at the ceiling as his friends doze around him. he can feel his heart beating in his chest and, with amusement, he feels his eyes watering again, but he blinks the tears away and whispers thickly, "hey guys?" once he gets sleepy questioning murmurs, he breathes in deeply and says, "thank you." in response Ochako and Todoroki schooch closer until they're cuddled on either arm and Izuku can see Iida doing the same on the other end of ochako. then Ochako mumbles, "anything for you, deku" to which the other two boys agree. and Izuku tries to not get choked up and fails again, but its okay, because its safe here and his friends are surrounding him with warmth and love and Izuku falls asleep happy.

(their second year they have another party, of course, but this one is bigger, with the whole class. it's in the dorm, which is fine bc he doesnt think his mom's apartment could hold all of them. it's just as wonderful as his 16th birthday. he managed to hold his tears back during nearly the entire thing, and the only reason he broke was because katsuki came up to him with a perfectly wrapped box, because everything katsuki does is perfect, and shoved it into his hands with a growled well wishes. katsuki yells at him and the class laughs good heartedly as he weeps, but Izuku is just focused on katsuki, who looks soft and relaxed and nearly identical to the version of him that Izuku saw so, so long ago. and as Izuku thanks him for the present and katsuki berates him cuz "you dont even know what it is yet you idiot open it already", izuku feels a new happiness bubbling up in him, because he's so incredibly glad katsuki has been able to heal as well)

[goldgalaxytea-fanfics]

Forget me not

Rating:  Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Relationship: Keith Kogane x Lance McClain

Characters: Lance, Lance’s family,  Unnamed generic doctors, Original Therapist character, Keith, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge | Katie Holt

Additional Tags:  Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Memory Loss, Amnesia, Healing, Therapy, Crying, Recovered Memories, Hugs, group hug, Kissing, kissing while crying, Boys Kissing, Langst

Words: 955

Summary:

Lance returned home after he'd been missing for months, except he had no memories of where he had been, or anything before his disappearance for that matter. Though when he slept, his dreams were full of colorful lions, space, and people in colored armor that seemed oddly familiar...

Notes:

I wrote the rough draft for this about a year or two ago and finally edited it last night cuz no matter how many years pass I'll always love Voltron🥺 

It had been a few weeks since Lance had “returned”. At least, that's what everyone told him. His family, his therapist and everyone else he supposedly knew all said the same thing. He'd been attending some kind of space school when one night he just vanished into thin air. But it wasn't just him, two other kids that also attended the school were missing as well. There was no trace of any of them anywhere up until a few months ago when Lance had shown up out of nowhere in his bedroom. At least, everyone told him it was his bedroom. He doesn't remember ever seeing it before. The posters on his walls displayed movies he never watched. The photos beside his bed showed him with people he never met before. The clothes in his closet held outfits he never bought. Nothing in there meant anything to him. Someone could tell him it wasn't his room and he'd believe them without a second thought.

His family, or at least the people who said they were his family, were happy to see him when he appeared. They heard loud noises coming from “his room” and had rushed up to see what the commotion was. They had all stood frozen in shock when they found him stumbling about "his room", confused about where he was. They had all hugged him and cried, but he screamed and yelled. He didn't know who those people were. They thought it was a joke at first, tried laughing it off as some prank he was playing. But as the moments passed and he continued to stare at them in fear, the hard truth finally set in. They had been heartbroken when they learned that he truly didn't remember anything. So they explained. 

They told him about themselves and about his life before he “vanished”. He listened to every word, every story, but a few minutes later it disappeared from his mind like a puddle on a sunny day. Once again he was surrounded by complete strangers and so he started to panic all over again. His "family’s” hearts broke even more. They kept explaining everything to him as they took him to see “someone who would help”. They had doctors look at his brain and what they found baffled everyone. The X-rays showed hundreds of lines all over his brain, skull and neck. There had been a severe amount of blunt force trauma to his head. The Frankenstein monster like healed seams suggested his head was cracked open like an egg.

Yet they had no idea what exactly had caused it nor how he had been able to physically heal from it. The amount of force needed to injure his brain that terribly should've killed him. Or if he was lucky it would've put him on the verge of death. Even then no human technology could've helped in time, he would've died within minutes from the wounds. There’s no way Lance should be alive right now, yet here he was…

That left his “family” even more confused. Where exactly had he gone? What had he done to injure himself so badly? How did he manage to survive an injury that was guaranteed to end him? Their questions were all left unanswered, for the only person able to answer them didn't even know.

They then learned that there wasn't a surgery they could do to help with his memory. There was nothing physical they could fix and magically make better. If his mind was going to heal it would have to do it on its own. The doctor said there was a small chance that with time Lance would be able to retain memories again, and an even smaller chance that he'd remember his old memories. That made his “family” sad, but they were at least happy there was a possibility of getting “their Lance” back. But Lance didn't know what to think of everything going on around him when he woke up on a cold metal table. He was surrounded by people crying their hearts out, scary looking metal tools and people in white coats observing his every move. He didn't know what this place was, or who those people were.

Lance started to scream.

☆☆☆☆

As time went on, Lance started retaining memories. By some miracle he seemed to be recovering. It started with his name, Lance. Then he was able to remember where he was, his house. And then he was able to gradually remember his family, all their names and who they were to him. After that he was slowly able to remember the stories they told him about them, himself and his life before the accident. 

Lance was also regularly going to a therapist (the doctors had suggested it, saying it could help him). He was even able to eventually remember her. She was a woman somewhere in her late twenties with long brown hair styled into a messy bun. Her outfit changed everyday, but her bright red glasses were always the same. Her name was Lilly. Wait, that wasn't right. Lilu. Her name was Lilu. Lance paused, trying his best to remember. That wasn't her name, it was a nickname. The woman said it'd be easier to remember and it was less formal than calling her by her last name. Surprisingly though, the first thing that Lance remembered about her wasn't her name. It was her glasses, or more specifically her red glasses. That was the only thing he was able to remember about her for quite awhile. He'd just refer to her as Red. But that hadn't felt...right. For some reason he felt like the name belonged to someone, or something, else. When he first told his therapist about it she figured the color red must be in some way important to him. Possibly it was the color of someone close or important to him. But Lance didn't know who or what the color was connected to. And that made him upset, yet he didn't even know why 

★☆☆☆

As he got better, he started to have strange dreams. He never remembered them when he woke up, except for a few bits and pieces. Space, lions and people in some kind of colored armor. The one that stood out the most to him was the person in red. Lance didn't know who they were or what they looked like, but he'd wake up feeling like he was forgetting something important. This left him frustrated. He was tired of not being able to remember stuff, even if it was just a dream. 

His dreams continued and it was always the same story. Space, lions, those people, waking up and barely remembering the dream, the feeling that he forgot something important, that person in red… Lance was getting tired of it. He desperately wished that something would change. Eventually, he got his wish.

It had been exactly a year since Lance had returned. Nothing about the day felt different, just a normal Saturday. He woke up to his alarm, his therapist appointment was early today. But when he awoke he didn't scream in frustration like he usually did. Instead he sat there, eyes and mouth wide open in shock. His dream had been different that night. He remembered it, he remembered all of the details, including what the people looked like. Except he didn't know their names. He was upset about that fact, but that didn't stop a large grin from spreading across his face. He was finally able to remember the dream that had been eluding him for almost half a year. Lance jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed, excited to go tell his therapist about what had happened. Lance hoped that this meant he was getting better. He didn't realize it also meant other things...

★★☆☆

He burst into his therapist’s room, excitement bouncing off of him in waves. The door slammed into the wall with a loud BANG. Lilu didn't seem to mind though, she just looked up from the book she was reading (something about Person Jackie and the Olympics? Lance was too excited to really read the title) and smiles at him. 

“You sure seem excited this morning, Lance. What's up?”

Lance grinned. 

“I remembered my dream!”

Lilu set down her book as Lance walked over and got comfy in the chair in front of her desk. 

“Really? That's good, Lance!”

The woman reached into her desk and pulled out a notebook and a pencil. She opened the book and then glanced at Lance, smiling softly. 

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

Lance smiled and nodded.

“So it takes place in space. There's giant colorful lions and they fight a bad guy who's trying to take over the universe.”

His name is Zarkon

Lilu nodded, making notes about what Lance said. 

“Except they aren't actual lions, they're robots. And there's people that fly them. And when they combine together, they make one giant badass robot!”

It's called Voltron

Lilu glanced up at him. 

“Who were the pilots?”

Lance paused for a moment, thinking. 

“There's four of them.”

There's five

“There's three guys and a girl.”

You're forgetting someone

“The leader, he wears black armor and he's very muscular. And he has a robotic arm that's a weapon. How cool is that? His weapon is the ultimate bitch slap!”

This earned him a laugh from Lilu. She silenced herself and gestured for him to continue. 

“He's also the oldest and he acts like he's the dad of the others. He's really amazing! He makes the best leader. Oh! And he pilots the black lion!”

Lilu nodded, “Do you know his name?”

Lance’s face scrunched up. Trying to remember, but finding nothing. His head started to hurt. 

“No…”

Yes

“The only name I can think of is space dad.”

His name is Shiro

Lance stopped trying to remember the name and the pain slowly faded away.

“Then there's this big guy in yellow armor. But he's the good kind of big, like he would give amazing hugs! He's also hands down the best cook ever! He's a really nice dude! He has a big heart. He pilots the yellow lion!”

Lilu wrote some things down in the notebook. 

“Are you able to remember his name?”

Lance's head began to hurt again. 

“No, I can't…”

His name is Hunk

Lance stopped trying to remember.

“Then there's this small girl with short light brown hair, big round glass and green armor. She may be tiny, but she's mighty! You don't want to mess with her. I know from experi-” Lance stopped suddenly, gripping his head in pain.

You know from experience

Lilu put down her pencil, concerned about the boy in front of her. 

“Lance? Lance, are you okay?”

No he's not, he doesn't remember!

Lance stopped thinking and the pain slowly eased away. Lance let go of his head and smiled nervously. 

“Yeah… I'm fine… Anyway, she's super smart and good with technology! And she pilots the green lion!”

Lilu glanced over at him, still concerned about the man before her, but let him continue.

“Her name was K- wait no it's-”

Pidge

Once again his face scrunched up in pain, but he couldn't remember. Lance sighed and stopped.

“And then there's this guy who has red armor-”

Lance's chest hurt.

“-and a mullet. A mullet, can you believe it? But-”

Lance's eyes burned.

“-it looked good on him. He piloted the red Lion. He was my-”

Boyfriend

A choked scream burst from Lance as his face contorted in pain again, but this time it was different. His head wasn't the only thing that hurt, so did his heart. He gasped, struggling to make the pain go away.

Before he knew it there were arms wrapped around him, and without thinking Lance muttered a name he didn't know or understand.

“Keith…”

I'm here, Lance!

Lilu pulled away, her face full of concern. She held out some tissues to Lance. He just stared at her, confused. She put the tissues in his hand.

“Lance, you're crying…”

He reached up and touched his cheek. Sure enough, there were tears. He was crying, and he didn't know why...

“Lance-”

Lance!

Lance jumped, startled from his thoughts. He looked at her, eyes blank, mind racing.

“-who's Keith?”

His boyfriend!

Lance struggled against the avalanche of pain.

“I...don't know….”

You do know!

Lance cried harder, the pain getting too intense.

Lance…

Lance!

Please, you have to remember!

★★★☆

“Please, you have to remember!” He raised his fist, about to slam it into the side of the building.​ “You have to-”

The man’s cry was cut short. He stood there, unable to move, but his mind racing. His red armor shined brightly in the sun.

“Keith…”

He met the gaze of the man in Black armor and glared at him, but then he noticed his face. It was sad, and his eyes were wet. With a start, Keith realized so was his. Shiro cleared his throat.

“I'm sorry. I know you miss him and you're hurting. We all understand​ how you feel…”

Keith let his gaze wander to the other two standing with them. Hunk and Pidge had streams of tears running down both of their faces. Keith choked on a sob as he let his arm fall limp. Shiro released his grip on the Red Paladin's arm. Keith collapsed, sobs shaking his entire body. Shiro caught him before he hit the ground. The older man held him tight as he clung to him.

“Keith… I'm sorry, I really am… but we need to go. He doesn't remember us, we might make things worse for his mind…”

Keith’s sadness quickly turned to anger, an old defense habit of his. He knew it wasn't good for him, but right now he didn't care. He forcefully pulled himself out of Shiro’s embrace.

“How can you say that?!” Keith snarled, barely able to see anything through his tears. “How can you give up on him?! He's starting to remember! He's remembering who he is!! Who we all are!!! How could you just give up on him…”

The end of Keith's yelling turned into a whisper. He blinked the tears out of his eyes, finally able to see clearly again. Shiro was crying just as hard as he was. Keith glanced at Pidge and Hunk, both sobbing as they held onto each other. Keith screamed, his voice strained and pained as he kicked the side of the building. His foot throbbed in pain, but he didn't care at the moment. Keith took deep breaths and stared at the ground. He couldn't meet anyone's eyes.

“I'm… sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad or yelled I just… it hurts so much I just… I just can't…” Keith trailed off, still refusing to meet their gazes. He saw Shiro approach but didn't move. The older boy put a hand on his shoulder.

“Keith… it's alright. You're upset, I understand what you're feeling… I want him back too, more than anything… but, we can't. We tried our best but he just… he doesn't remember… I'm sorry…” Shiro tried his best to reassure him as he pulled him into another hug. Keith gladly returned it, eyes closing as he tried his best to calm down.

It was a nice moment, until he felt a new pair of eyes on him. Instantly his eyes flew open, worried someone had spotted them. When he found the source his eyes widened, hope daring to raise inside of him again. A few feet away, a pair of bright blue eyes met his.

★★★★

Lance didn't know what came over him. One minute he was doubled over in pain in his therapist's room, and the next thing he knows the pain is gone and he's staring at the people from his dream. He didn't remember hearing screaming from outside, he didn't remember Lilu asking him where he was going, he didn't remember anything about following the strangely familiar voices, but he did remember the people that stood before him. Silent tears flooded his face as he finally remembered everything.

He remembered running away from the Garrison and ending up in space. He remembered Blue, his lion. He remembered becoming the Blue Paladin of Voltron. Along with his friends, the other Paladins. He remembered every fight, every mission, every injury. He remembered how he forgot.

A mission they thought was over, ruined by a surprise blast from a barely conscious galra guard. Keith had been distracted, too busy kissing Lance in celebration to notice. As they pulled back, Lance had seen the blast a second too late. He couldn't push Keith out of the line of fire in time so he switched places with him. The blast destroyed his jetpack and sent him flying over the edge of a steep fall. He had landed head first, skull cracking on impact. The other paladins had managed to get Lance into a healing pod just in time to save his life, but they couldn't save his memories. He had awoken and panicked, not knowing anything at all. But no matter how many times they explained things to him, it would simply vanish from his mind a few minutes later. It had been a hard decision, but they were left with no choice. He was in no state to fight and they weren't able to look after him until he got better. If he got better… So with teary eyes they took him back to his family on Earth. Lance sobbed, how could he forget his family, his friends, his boyfriend?

A hand gently wiped his tears away. Startled, Lance's bright blue eyes meet violet ones.

"Keith!" Lance grabbed the black haired man's face and pulled it to his, smashing their lips together in a messy kiss. Keith jolted in surprise before trying to return it, his broken sobs making it difficult. The brunette pulled away first. "I-"

"Please tell me you remember…" Keith whispered. Words quiet, as if he spoke louder it would cause the man before him to disappear once again. Lance gave a small peck to his cheek.

"I remember everything. I missed you guys, even if I couldn't remember you till now." He said with a smile. Next thing he knew, Lance was being crushed by four pairs of arms covered in suits of armor. No one could tell who's limbs or tears were who's as the five just held each other and cried, so happy to finally be reunited.

"We missed you too, Lance."

Notes:

Fun fact! This was based on a short story I wrote in middle school about a Homestuck fan session involving my friends lol

[balmacedapascal-archive]

THE ADVENTURES OF OLIVIA DELLAMONICA & VINNIE MALZAHN

Olivia Dellamonica first met Vinnie Malzahn when he came home with Ty after school one day. They were six and she was four. She’d started going to preschool at their church but she still wasn’t happy that Ty got to got to school and she couldn’t go with him. And she definitely wasn’t happy that he was bringing home some other kid bc Ty was her best friend and why did they need someone else? Especially someone who was loud and always bouncing around and eating the green popsicles that were supposed to be hers. He couldn’t stick around, he just couldn’t.

By the time Olivia was seven she’d resigned herself to the fact that there was no getting rid of Vinnie. Him and Ty had been stuck together like glue since kindergarten and there was no end in sight. She didn’t like it but she’d learned to put up with him. And by put up with, really it just meant she’d gotten big enough where she could shove him off their couch when she got really annoyed. The boys didn’t play with her much, something about girls having cooties and not wanting to play with dolls or do stupid girl stuff. Plus they were nine and didn’t want to do “baby stuff”. They’d still play with her every now and then when her mom would make them. And Jonathan would still play with her most of the time even if he wanted to chase after the older boys instead. She had the advantage there. They wouldn’t play with her because she was a girl but Jonathan was way littler than her so he definitely didn’t get to play with them.

By the time her 10th birthday comes, she doesn’t try to chase after Ty and Vinnie anymore. They’re in seventh grade now and it might as well be a different planet. Besides she has her own friends from school - Cassie, Hayley, Lauren - and she doesn’t need her big brother to be her best friend. But the boys are still at her party because it’s at the pool and her mom got an ice cream cake and of course Vinnie has to throw her into the pool cackling like an idiot. She gets him back and dumps a soda on him and then it’s war but that’s not new. She’s been fighting with Vinnie for years. But now her friends giggle and say how cute he is and that is definitely new and she doesn’t like it. She tells her mom Vinnie definitely doesn’t get to come next year

She’s eleven when she wakes up to the sound of their father yelling after midnight, sneaking downstairs to see Ty and Vinnie on the couch, looking more serious than she’s ever seen either of them. She doesn’t catch all of it - something about sneaking out and trespassing and the couple beers missing from the fridge - before her mom spots her and sends her back to bed but the next morning Ty’s grounded and Vinnie’s not allowed to come over for three weeks. It’s the quietest three weeks in their house that she can ever remember and it’s the first time since he started kindergarten that Ty spends his days willingly with her and Jonathan. She won’t say it but she’s glad when the punishment is over and Vinnie comes bursting back into their house like a hurricane of energy. She will deny it with every breath she has but she kinda sorta missed him.

The summer after eighth grade is kind of a big deal and she’s so excited to finally be starting high school and she’s gone up two cup sizes while all her friends are still waiting for the boob fairy to come and everything is great. Except now boys are noticing her and she’s noticing them and Ty’s noticing all the noticing and he is not okay with it. And normally she can handle that but this time he’s convinced Vinnie “never been serious a day in my life” Malzahn to back him up and she’s lucky she can talk to a boy without one of them scaring the poor guy off. There’s also the fact that sometime after 4th of July, when their parents let them have a big party and there were high schoolers there and Vinnie wound up getting hit with some water balloons and stripping off his shirt without a care in the world, she started having the occasional dream of pg-13 romance starring the boy in question. It’s only happened like twice (okay five times but whatever) but it makes being around his loud and obnoxious self a little awkward. So she does her best to avoid him and Ty, for multiple reasons and before school starts she finally manages to get her first kiss despite their efforts to keep her away from boys. It’s wet and sloppy and kind of disappointing but it still counts for something.

Freshman years comes and goes and it’s filled with the usual ups and down of being in high school. Most people start to identify her as Ty’s little sister which she isn’t too excited about but it could be worse. Despite being back in the same school building she doesn’t see a ton of the guys but every now and then they pop up. Ty usually swoops in when she doesn’t really want him to, protective big brother mode activating. Vinnie occasionally finds her during lunch, being loud and obnoxious and stealing food off her plate until she shoved him away and he just laughs and her friends all still think he’s cute which is honestly more annoying than it was four years ago. She goes to all their baseball games like she has been for years and Vinnie still insists on giving her gross sweaty hugs afterwards when he smells like BO and dirt and she still hates it which is probably why he still does it.

The one moment where she actually gets along with Vinnie is at the spring formal. She’s there with a sophomore named Tommy who’s on the basketball team and is super cute but winds up spending more time drinking spiked punch and joking around with his teammates and she’s only danced with her girlfriends until Vinnie shows up at their table during some slow 80s ballad and pulls her onto the dance floor before she can protest. He’d come stag after him and the girl he’d been dating broke up last month so she just assumes it’s a pity dance cuz he’s bored while Ty’s with his date. But it’s still nice and he smells like Old Spice and he’s actually pretty good at dancing which she’ll tease him about later and she tries not to blush when he spins her around and dips her and she doesn’t run away when the song ends and a new one starts. They wind up dancing together for four songs before he disappears to talk with Ty about something.

Jonathan hits his growth spurt when he turns thirteen and she’s suddenly the shortest one in the house. She spends the entire summer hearing every short person nickname in the book and by the time schools starting back up its a miracle she hasn’t murdered Vinnie.

It’s senior year for the boys and they’re a little too busy to really pop into her life at school but she still sees them. Sees Ty stressing about keeping his grades up and doing good when college scouts come and making sure the team dominates this season. He goes out of town one weekend with their parents for a college visit and it’s the first time she gets to stay home alone. Well not alone. Jonathan’s there (she refuses to call him Dells, even if all his friends think it’s cool) and Vinnie shows up halfway through Saturday, bored and looking for entertainment. It’s one of the only times she’s hung out with Vinnie without Ty there as a buffer. They watch a ton of movies and order pizza and eventually wind up getting ice cream before going back home and falling asleep on the couch halfway through Field of Dreams and wake up in the morning in a tangled mess of legs and arms and she can still smell his cologne (still Old Spice) six hours later when her parents get home and he’s gone back to his house. Neither of them ever mention it, not to each other and not to Ty but she doesn’t shove him away as often when he crowds her on family movie nights.

Her and her mom both cry at graduation along with Mrs. Malzahn and she says it’s because she’s just so relieved that Ty actually graduated and that it’s a miracle he didn’t get kicked out because of one of Vinnie’s hijinks but really she’s a little sad she won’t have them around anymore. Jonathan will be starting his freshman year in the fall and she’s excited to have him around and get to be the big sibling for a change. But she’s still gonna miss her idiots.

The boys leave for college and the house is just too quiet. Like unbearably quiet. Like she didn’t realize how much noise they made and how much she would hate the silence once they were gone. She gets more involved with extracurriculars at school, finding stuff to keep her busy and out of the house and away from all the quiet. She pretends not to be thrilled when they come home for a long weekend and drive her a little crazy with all their stories and antics and she hugs them both longer before they leave on Sunday

Throughout junior and senior year she dates a couple different guys and it’s nice. Just nice. Nobody gets her blood boiling, nobody gives her those big romcom feels, nobody drives her crazy. And it doesn’t have anything to do with the dumbass who comes home and steals her food and tells her stories about college life and flops on top of her when she’s on the couch. It definitely has nothing to do with Vinnie fucking Malzahn. Not at all.

Senior prom is a Big Deal™️ and she spends a couple weeks searching for the perfect dress with her girlfriends - the same girls who’ve stuck with her since sixth grade and they’re trying to just have fun and not think about them all going their separate ways in the fall. She just wants to have fun and dance and enjoy herself. And she’s got a date who’s one of the better looking guys in their grade and has been a friend for the last couple years. And it’s going to be great. Except then he calls up about twenty minutes before he’s supposed to pick her up with the news that his ex is back in town and they’ve been talking and they’re gonna give it another go and he hopes she understands that he has to cancel for prom. Which leaves her in a pretty blue prom dress and no date. Her mother says go anyways, have fun. Ty has to be talked down from going and taking a baseball bat to the guys front bumper. Vinnie disappears and she doesn’t even notice until she’s trying to figure out how to unpin her hair and suddenly she’s being told to stop what she’s doing and get her butt in the car and Vinnie’s back in a suit and has corsage and she doesn’t really understand what’s happening but her mom snaps a couple pictures of them in those classic prom poses before he all but drags her out to the car and heads to the dance

They argue in the parking lot once she finally finds her voice “Vinnie, I’m not walking in there with your dumb ass as a pity date!” “For the love of god it’s NOT a pity date, Liv!” “Yes it is” “Jesus woman why are you so damn stubborn?!” “Fuck off!” “Just get out of the car! We’re going in, we’re dancing, it’s going to be a grand fucking time and you will thank me one day” “no!” “Do not make me throw you over my shoulder woman! You know I can! I’ve done it before!” “I swear to god Vin, I will murder you”

They eventually get inside and she has to explain a couple times the change in plans and eventually she calms down and remembers how much fun she can have with Vinnie when he’s not picking on her and he dances with her on just about every single song for an hour straight until she’s out of breath and laughing and she tries not to think about how he actually looks good with his hair a little messy and his shirt unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up, making her snort and laugh as he attempts to do the running man in some weird dance off between him and Cassie’s boyfriend. They stay until the very end when she’s ditched her heels and has lost a handful of bobby-pins from too much dancing and not enough hairspray.

They both just sit in the car when they finally get back to her house. The lights are off and she knows it’s only because she’s with Vinnie. If she’d actually gone with her original date both her dad and Ty would be waiting up for her like a couple of crazy people. She’s almost too tired to move, shoes somewhere on the floor and Vinnie’s suit jacket swallowing her smaller frame up. He kills the engine and they both just sit there and it’s quiet and she doesn’t know why because god knows he never shuts up

“Vin, why’d - why’d you go with me?” More silence as his fingers tap a random little tune against the steering wheel. “Vinnie?” “Did you have a good time?” “Wh-yeah… yeah it was great Vin. But -“ “you deserved a good time. Gotta go big for senior prom. You only got the one shot.” “You did it twice.” “Yeah well I didn’t get it right my first time” “Vin?” “You look really beautiful Liv…” she doesn’t know what to say because this is the sweetest he’s ever been to her, first time she’s gotten a compliment that didn’t have a teasing tone or a smart ass remark following and she just looks at him like she doesn’t know what’s happening

And then he kisses her like she started dreaming about when she was a kid and it’s all the fireworks she’d hoped for when she was 14 and then some and when he goes to pull back she chases him for more. They don’t leave the car for another hour.

Ty is furious. The one person he trusted to never touch his baby sister is now cuddled up with her on the couch during movie night, holding her hand and making flirty comments. Jonathan finds it a little weird and a little gross but for the most part he doesn’t care. Mrs. Dellamonica isn’t surprised in the slightest and just keeps adding an extra place setting at the family dinners like she’s been doing for Vinnie for years.