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ivrousae · 1 year ago

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- Take A Chance With Me ✩°｡⋆⸜ 🦢✮

Synopsis: You and Gunwook have had a complicated history with each other since ages ago, but a 7-day trip changed it all for you both.

Genre: fluff, angst (with a good ending), academic rivals, enemies to lovers, childhood friends

Pairing: Gunwook X Fem!reader

Word count: 9.5k (lol………..)

Warnings: skinship, kissing, cursing, a lot of teasing, mentions of wearing make up, pet names, a lot of sensitive topics (parents, family, grades/academics, etc), please tell me if i missed some

A/N: there WILL be so many typos and grammar error bcs I did not double check hehe, I got confused about where I should have them go for the trip, and because I’m Indonesian, I was just like “Oh, Bali it is” LMAO, and let’s act like everyone In the story already has their driver's license☝🏻, OH, and play your sad playlist from day 3 until the end of day 4 for a better experience😋😋😋

You and Gunwook have known each other for basically your whole life, things were okay between the two of you up until the first year of middle school, at first, the two of you drifted from each other, he joined the soccer club, giving him a new group of friends, while you have your own, but the two of you have gotten a little competitive with each other, academically, creatively, or just generally.

There had never been a single day where the two of you didn't bicker with each other, now that is if you guys even talk with one another, other days are just filled with your own life, no interactions what so ever.

You’d be lying if you said that there has never been a day where you weren’t sad that your friendship with Gunwook changed so drastically in a snap of a finger, but that was way back during middle school, it’s safe to say that you’ve learned to accept it.

────────────

“UGH, Y/N WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?” Your best friend Yunjin asked on the phone “Girl, I’m right behind your car,” you said as you rolled your eyes before hanging up the phone and opening the door of Yunjin’s car.

“Oh, HEY BAE! I’m so excited about this trip, I can’t wait to finally have some days off from these assignments” Yunjin laughs as she starts her car and drives away from your house “Is everyone on their way to the airport yet?” you asked “yup, they’re on their way” she smiled. The one-hour drive to the airport was filled with laughter and screams as your favorite songs played on the Bluetooth.

As both of you arrived at the airport, you noticed that your other friends had also arrived, Gyuvin, Ricky, Matthew, Sheon, Winter, and…Gunwook!?

“Yunjin???” You stopped in your tracks the second you saw Gunwook standing with the other guys in the waiting room “Huh? What?” “You didn’t tell me Gunwook will be coming?” You spoke out, a little frustrated from the sudden news “Oh…see, because I knew you wouldn’t wanna come if you knew that Gunwook was coming, so I didn't tell you about that, sorry..” she laughed nervously “You should’ve told me? Now I’ll have to deal with his ass for the rest of the week, this is not any better than 50 assignments, JENNIFER.” “WOAH, you even brought up my English name and all, MY BAD?!?!?!” “Whatever” You shrugged, continuing your path to the waiting room to meet with the others.

Let’s all be honest, we all know the nonchalant face you have while you walk over there was all an act, you hated the fact that you’ll have to put up with him, but you don’t wanna seem like a sensitive no fun loser in front of him, that’ll just give him more reasons to tease you.

“Y/N!!! YUNJIN!!!” The girls shouted in excitement, their faces were occupied with bright smiles as they ran to hug you and Yunjin, while the guys just smiled and waved before continuing their conversation.

After an hour or two, the plane has finally boarded. You sat down with Yunjin, Winter sat down with Sheon, Ricky sat down with Matthew, and Gyuvin sat down with Gunwook, unfortunately, their seat was behind yours and Yunjin’s.

“Hey, Y/n, lend me your phone real quick” Gyuvin reached out his hands while tapping your shoulders “For what?” you asked confused by his sudden request “I need to search for something, my battery died” he responded. You handed him the phone, a little concerned, but what is he gonna do anyways?

After a few minutes, he returned your phone, the second you opened your gallery, it was filled with silly selfies that Gyuvin and Gunwook had taken, “Was your battery even out?” you looked back to him “Nope” he chuckled while scrolling thru his phone.

A few hours have passed, and the 8 of you have finally arrived at your destination, Bali! You and your friends used the car that you guys rented to go to the Villa you’re staying at for the week, entering the car, Gunwook sat in the driver’s seat while the others were in the passenger’s seat. “You’re driving?…” You asked a little concerned “Yeah? I’m a good driver, trust” he laughed, putting on the seatbelt before driving “If I die, I swear to god Gunwook I’ll be keeping you awake for the rest of your life” “Go on” he replied nonchalantly while he starts driving.

“Can someone put on some music? It’s kinda quiet in here” Ricky sighed “Ooooo yes! I have the perfect playlist for this” Winter responded, pulling out her phone to open an app. Once again, the drive to the villa was filled with laughs and screams as your favorite songs played on the Bluetooth.

{ Section 1 - The trip! }

- Day 1

☆ 3.45 PM

When you arrived at the villa, you were happy to be there of course, but you were a bit too drained to join the others talking in the living room, so you decided to excuse yourself to your bedroom, “Guys, I'm gonna go clean up and rest for a bit, I’ll join you guys later on” You smiled, taking your bags with you to the bedroom.

You took a deep breath while you lay down on the bed, the room was cold, and the glass wall with the glass door in front of your bed led to a balcony, which showed a view of the pool in the backyard and the beach behind it have given you the best atmosphere ever.

You get up from your bed to go to the bathroom inside of your bedroom, removing your make-up before getting into the shower. You were drowned in the warmth of the shower, and the sudden rush of freshness yet comfort took over your tired body, finally waking you up for reality, the good thing is, you’re out on a trip with your friends, the bad thing is, one of the ‘friends’ is Gunwook.

After your warm shower, you go back to your room and change into something more comfortable before plopping yourself onto the bed and scrolling down on your phone. Without noticing, scrolling down on your phone has slowly drifted you to sleep.

☆ 5.40 PM

You woke up from your nap due to someone softly shaking you “Huh?” you said confused “God, you’re finally awake, get up, we’re gonna go get dinner,” Gunwook said while opening the curtains “Let me sleep in for another 5 minutes” you groaned, putting a pillow over your head “Fine, I only woke you up because everyone else is already getting ready, if we leave you then don’t blame it on me” he shrugged, leaving your bedroom and shutting the doors “Ughhhh, fine I’ll get up” you whined tiredly, sitting down on your bed to gather up your sober self first.

After getting ready, You went out of your bedroom to see that everyone else was sitting down in the living room while waiting for you “Oh my god, took you long enough” Sheon complained, standing up from the couch “I was taking a nap” you laughed “Okay okay, C’mon, we don’t have much time” Matthew spoke out while taking the car keys on the table.

☆ 7.05 PM

“I’m sitting beside you?” Gunwook said unhappily while turning off his phone “If it was my choice, I’d be sitting at a different table from you, so if you want to complain, don’t say it to me” You rolled your eyes “Can you guys not argue for once?” Yunjin asked while looking at the both of you up and down “No” the both of you replied at the same time “Suit yourself” she sighed.

“Gunwook, lend me that spoon,” you said while pointing at the spoon beside him “Take it yourself” he replied “Bitch?” “I’m kidding” he laughed, giving you a gentle push on the shoulders before handing you the spoon “Thanks” you smiled sarcastically.

The breezy air at night on the beach has given the restaurant such a cozy vibe, the most surprising thing, is that you still feel comfortable in there even when you’re sitting next to the person you hate the most.

The warm delicate food filled your and your friend’s stomachs in the best way possible, it’s safe to say that the dinner went smoothly!

☆ 11.55 PM

After a long tiring night, good sleep is all that you need, when you’ve arrived at your villa, you cleaned yourself up and went straight to bed.

- Day 2

☆ 7.30 AM

You wake up from your slumber, and a glimpse of the sun shines through the curtains blinding your eyes “That’s bright” you say in your sleepy voice.

You got out of bed and washed your face before exiting your bedroom, You were greeted by Gunwook who was making himself some breakfast “A lion’s out of her cage” he said teasingly “Shut up” you said quietly “Where is everyone else?” “They’re still asleep, why are you awake so early always?” he asked “I don’t know. My body just decided to wake up” You laid down on the couch, eyes still sleepy “Cool, get off I wanna sit down” Gunwook declared while holding a plate of food “No? Sit down on the ground” He clicked his tongue before pulling you out of the couch “You’re so annoying” You groaned, getting up from the ground and walking to the kitchen “If I’m annoying then you should go and check out what’s wrong with you” he scoffed as he searched for some shows to watch on the TV.

“Why are you guys so loud? It’s too early for this” Gyuvin got out of his room, hair messy and face sleepy “If your friend isn’t so bitchy, we wouldn’t be so loud” You said while slowly taking a glance at Gunwook “C’mon, he’s your friend too Y/n” Gyuvin laughed “No he’s not?” “No I’m not?” Both of you said in sync “Oh!” Gyuvin reacted “I tried, I’m going back to sleep” He entered his room and shut the door.

☆ 9.15 AM

Finally, everyone is awake! The 8 of you guys sat down together in the backyard of the villa, having random conversations while drinking some fresh beverages.

You guys spent the rest of the day out shopping and hunting for some traditional food, and of course, you guys had to visit the beach and experience the beauty there.

☆ 10.30 PM

The day has passed and it’s finally nighttime, you and your friends sat around a bonfire while having deep conversations, silly conversations, stupid conversations, and even drunk confessions on a sober brain. At this moment of the day, all 8 of you have grown to connect more, the bond between all of you has grown to be stronger than before, and what’s most important, is that all of you understand each other more, as shocking as this will sound, you and Gunwook have somehow slowly understood each other more, no, that doesn’t break the hatred you both have for each other, but it delivered the both of you some understanding

“Oh c’mon Ricky that’s such a dumb confession” Sheon scoffed “What? I literally just confessed my love for strawberries to you guys?” “Yeah, and we know about that already you dumbass” Winter chuckled “Hmmm, Gunwook, how bout you? Do you have any confessions?” Matthew asked, “Maybe about how you’re able to achieve the title of ‘best student award’ every year?” he chuckled “Oh..honestly, I think I just grew up with my parents having to force my academic scores to be high, even with the titles that I’ve gotten these past few years, they’re still not satisfied” he lets out a soft chuckle, a forced one for sure, “But you’re always first in class? Let alone class, our whole grade?!” Gyuvin spoke out shocked by Gunwook’s confession “It’s hard to satisfy them, dude, but it’s fine, really, I’ve already grown to accept it” he laughed

“Y/n, you good? Why are you so quiet?” Yunjin asked concerned “Hm? Yeah, I’m good, I’m just a little tired” You smiled “If you’re tired you can just go back inside and sleep, it’s getting late anyways!” Sheon mentioned while checking the time on her phone “No no, it’s okay, I’ll stay” “Just sleep, if you stay you’ll just end up falling asleep” Gunwook said teasingly yet softly at the same time “You know what guys, I’m also getting a little tired, let’s end today and go to sleep” Winter stood up while taking her stuff “Okayy, good night guys” Yunjin enunciated and everyone went back inside to their own bedrooms.

There’s something about that conversation keeping you up that night, you asked yourself “Am I just over-sensitive? Or am I just jealous?” while staring up at the dark ceiling of the bedroom. Ever since your rivalry with Gunwook started in middle school, You grew up with this pressure in your heart, constantly telling yourself to just..be better than him. You’ve always been compared to him, even by your parents, as much as you work for something. Your achievement can never be better than Gunwook’s, he’s first in class, so why are you always second? You work equally just as hard as him? And if you finally beat Gunwook on something, people would still have their focus on Gunwook, Okay?! He’s the popular smart soccer player in school that everybody has a crush on, but all you’ve ever asked for is to be appreciated.

“This is dumb” you sighed, holding back tears and putting a blanket over your body, letting yourself fall asleep.

- Day 3

☆ 9.15 AM

“Hey you seem like you’re in a bad mood, what’s wrong?” Gyuvin asked you “Nothing’s wrong? Just still a little sleepy, you know?” “I see, well if you’re really that tired just go back to sleep, we don’t have anything to do yet anyway,” he said while scrolling through his phone.

“Hey, y/n, come here!” Yunjin shouted from the kitchen “Coming!” you walked over to the kitchen “Help me make some cookies” she laughed “Call for Gunwook too, I need him to help prepare the ingredients” “Okay, hold up” you smiled, walking yourself to Gunwook’s room before knocking on his door “Come in” he shouted “Yunjin wants you to help her prepare some ingredients for making cookies, c’mon” you leaned over the door frame “Fine, give me a minute”

You went back downstairs and after a few minutes of waiting, Gunwook finally came down to help “What do you need help with?” he asked “Can you take the bowl on the top shelf?” “Yeah, hold on” he answered, reaching up for the bowl with such ease.

The baking session for the three of you was interesting, You guys honestly made a big mess and Gunwook kept on putting flour on your face, but the cookies turned out pretty good so you couldn’t even complain about it.

☆ 00.40 AM

The day ended, and everybody was asleep, but yet again, something was bothering you, you hated it, you hated having that weird burden inside of you. The worst part of it is that you know this is all because of your jealousy toward Gunwook, you didn’t want to be jealous of him, but you were.

You decided that you needed something to drink, so you went out of your bedroom to get something from the kitchen, but the sight of Gunwook sitting down on one of the chairs on the kitchen’s aisle stopped you, you hesitated, but you went for it.

You tried your best to avoid eye contact with him while taking some water from the dispenser, but knowing that he was looking at you made it hard for you to not look at him back.

“Hey, Gunwook..” You sighed ��I’ve tried to keep this to myself, but sometimes it’s so hard to act as if I don't hold anything against you but I do.” you scoffed “Y/n” he spoke out with a low tone “Look, I’m sorry that your parents have put so much pressure on you, I’m sorry that it’s hard for you to satisfy them, but do you always have to steal every single fucking thing from me Gunwook?” “What?” he scoffed “What is it that I have stolen from you, huh? Everything they’ve pressured me to do is all because of YOU, y/n.” “You don’t understand Gunwook, All these years, you’ve been number one, constantly, number one, number one, and number one, and where am I? What place am I entitled to? Second. All this time I’ve lost to you, all attention is on you, all of the pride goes to you Gunwook. Oh, look! Park gunwook! The best student in the school huh? And then there's Me, Y/n, the student who studies day and night just to be a tutor for lacking students without being appreciated at all. You know my parents loved you like their son Gunwook, maybe you don’t notice this but I grew up being compared to you and it isn’t fair?! You’ve stolen everything from me, the least you can spare for me is just to let me make my parents proud, wook..” Each word gets louder and louder from all the rage you’ve held.

Pushing his shoulders with your fingers on every sentence to express your anger, Gunwook stood there listening to your rage, before he took a deep breath

“Look, I wasn’t trying to hurt you Y/n and I’m sorry if I did, but I never stole your chance of making your parents proud, I’m sure they’re proud of you but let me say this. You might think I’ve accomplished something by taking first place all the time, but trust me I never reached my goal. If being first can make your parents proud then take the place y/n, because as much as I try, my parents will never appreciate me for it, so even if I’m first, we’re equal aren’t we? I’m first yet the person I try to satisfy has nothing to say about it, you’re second and no one appreciates you for it, right? Loss and loss. Being first and second won’t make a change for me y/n, so if you want appreciation from people, take my place. I might have people mentioning me for it but all I need is for my parents to say the things THEY did, so take everything.”

Gunwook wanted to be mad at you, he wanted to shout at you, but he couldn’t. All the rage that you’ve held against him, he’s held the same amount, yet he can’t make himself shout at you, even with the biggest desire, his voice just couldn’t come out.

“Sometimes I wished our parents weren’t friends, maybe that way we wouldn’t get to each other’s ways like this,” you said, holding back pools of tears

“I wished for the same thing, trust me I did”

Holding back tears had been the hardest thing to do the whole night, and at this point, you couldn’t hold it in any longer, so you rushed to your bedroom, leaving Gunwook standing alone.

☆ 7.15 AM

“Y/n, wake up, let’s get breakfast!” Winter shouted while knocking on your locked door “I’m awake, give me a minute” you shouted back “Woah, you’re awake early” she laughed.

Of course you were awake early, you didn’t even sleep, did you? You let your emotions take over you, and you feel good after letting them out but there are some regrets wandering around.

- Day 4

☆ 7.30 AM

After quickly cleaning up, you went out of your room wearing something simple like shorts and a T-shirt, as the eight of you were just going somewhere nearby for breakfast.

“Oh, y/n come sit here” Yunjin tapped on the space beside her on the couch, signing you to sit beside her, but you saw that Gunwook was sitting on the other side of the couch, and you didn’t feel like seeing him so you sat down on the kitchen counter “Why are you sitting so far away? Just sit here?” Sheon questioned, “Because, why not?..” you laughed awkwardly, Gunwook turned his head from his phone to your direction, but he didn't say anything, his face was straight, and the burden that you felt was probably the same for Gunwook. “C’mon, I’m hungry” Ricky spoke out while rolling the sleeves of his button up.

☆ 8.05 AM

After waiting for the food, your orders finally came, you sat beside Sheon while Gunwook was in the seat in front of you, was it a good sitting, no, but was it a better option than having to sit beside him? YES.

As your orders finally arrived, you reached your hands to take the bottle of sauce on the table, when your hands touched the bottle, you felt Gunwook’s hand on top of yours, also trying to take the sauce, “Oh, sorry, you take it” the both of you said at the same time “No, no it’s fine, Gunwook you take it” “Nah, I’ll take it after you” “Gunwook, just take it.” you laughed awkwardly “Won’t you wanna be first for once? You know, I can’t be the first one all the time, right?” “Oh? You know, maybe when you decide to take that sauce first your parents will be pro-” “OKAAAYYYY, I’m taking the sauce, thanks guys” Matthew cuts off your sentence before you can continue any further “What in the world is going on with the two of you” Ricky asked “Sorry” You quietly said to Gunwook.

☆ 10.15 AM

What is a better way to relax with your friends in Bali other than going to the beach? The sensation of having a filled stomach made you and your friends too lazy to do activities that exert too much energy, so the eight of you went to the beach behind your villa to relax.

As your friends were playing with the water, Gunwook accidentally splashed water onto your body, of course, it wasn’t a big deal, but because it was Gunwook who did it, you rolled your eyes as a reflex. Although you didn’t want to ruin the fun for other people, you decided to ignore him and continue with what you were doing.

“What is it with the two of you?” Sheon asked while looking your way “What do you mean?” “God, forget it” she sighed.

It reached the point where you and Gunwook could not stop getting passive-aggressive toward each other, almost starting a fight, or even having small fights here and there. Some examples of the other times you guys fought that day was when you went to a tourist attraction a couple of hours after going to the beach.

You were just walking around the streets of the area, and Gunwook suddenly pushed you with his shoulders by ‘accident’, “Can you not?” you said frustrated by his action “What? It was an accident?” he scoffed, continuing his walk like nothing even happened.

Or maybe when the eight of you had finally gone home to the villa after a long day, and as you guys were sitting down on the couch, you and Gunwook would bicker here and there, it was a small fight at first but then it got annoying to the others.

☆ 6.45 PM

“What is it with the two of you, stop,” Yunjin spoke out in the middle of your and Gunwook’s quarrel, her voice close to shouting “You two were just fine yesterday, what happened?” she sighed.

You and Gunwook stayed silent. It was a normal thing for you guys to fight, it was weirder for you guys to get along rather than fight every single day, but that’s the problem. The two of you got along, well, kind of, but before the fight you two had last night, everything was fine, you guys can last a day without having to fight each other, and even have conversations to keep up with each other’s life after a while, but the two of you were stubborn, you both realized that, but being the stubborn person you two are, none of you wanted to admit it.

“You know, you guys just need to stop being so stubborn?” Winter said softly, her eyes still focused on his phone “You guys continue doing your thing, I’m gonna get cleaned up” Gyuvin stood up from the couch, stretching his body before heading to his bedroom.

☆ 9.01 PM

You were sitting down on the patio swing in the backyard of your Villa, drowning yourself in thoughts as you stared at the view. Without noticing, a tear fell from your eye as you were thinking about everything that had been overwhelming you these past few days.

You quickly wiped off your tears when you heard the backyard door opening, showing Gunwook’s figure walking to the swing that you were on, “Can I sit beside you?” he asked coldly, you nodded your head, signing that it was okay for him to sit beside you. Gunwook placed himself on the other corner of the swing, both of your eyes were fixed on the view of the backyard with no one brave enough to make an eye contact.

“Can I be honest?” Gunwook requested “Yeah, go on” “Remember in 5th grade when we’d have sleepovers at your place or my place with our other friends? when we played games together, we’d always end up on the same team, winning every single round?” “Mhm” you slightly smiled “Or, maybe we were against each other in some games, but if one of us wins, we’d give each other a hug while saying good job?” he laughed “Of course I remember” “Y/n, we were always so proud of each other back then, so why can’t we do that now? I don't know how it is for you, but having that pressure inside of me all the time because of the constant competitiveness we have toward each other is slowly killing me.” He said calmly while playing with his fingers. Once again, you were holding back tears, “Gunwook..” You said speechless, “These past few years, all that we’ve been doing is just working so hard for a title, a title that can make our parents proud of us, that was our promise right? But we got too competitive. If no one will be proud of us, then let’s just be proud of each other Y/n.”

The last few words that Gunwook said in his sentence were able to let all of your tears lose, you’ve tried your hardest to hold back the tears but they couldn’t stay, even when you were already crying, the tears just couldn’t stop, could it?

“Stop crying, you look stupid” Gunwook chuckled and pushed you gently, trying to make you feel annoyed rather than sad “Shut up” You laughed while tears were still falling “All jokes aside, I’m sorry, yeah?” he pats your shoulders “I’m sorry wook” You sobbed.

Who would’ve known? Who would’ve known that you and your childhood friend would finally apologize to each other sincerely on a trip where you didn’t even want him to come on?

Guess the world has its ways.

- Day 5

☆ 8.00 AM

You got up from your bed to exit your bedroom, seeing Sheon, Yunjin, Gyuvin, Ricky, and Gunwook sitting down on the couch in the living room “The sloth is awake” Gunwook teased “Yeah, good morning to you too Gunwook” you said sarcastically before sitting down next to Gunwook on the couch “Ya’ll good now?” Yunjin asked confused “Yeah, what happened to the fighting? I was enjoying the drama” Gyuvin yawned.

You and Gunwook just laughed, not agreeing but not denying their words as you looked at each other. What Gunwook said last night was right, what’s the point of hating each other when you have the same goals? It’s only better to support each other.

“Oh my god, you’re not denying?” Sheon gasped “Why are you so shocked?” you laughed “I can sleep in peace” Ricky cheered, this was the moment that all your friends had waited for, something as simple as ‘stop being so stubborn to each other’ took you and Gunwook ages to do, It’s about time to try and do so.

“Gyuvin, wake the others up, let’s go out” Yunjin smiled “Me? Why me?” he groaned “Because you’re the most energetic right now?” “Whatever” he sighed, getting up from the couch before walking to the other’s room.

The rest of the day went great, you and your friends had fun, enjoying the sky, the activities, the air, and of course the view. What made it even better is that you get to experience all of this with your friends, and most importantly, someone you can now call your childhood friend and not your enemy.

☆ 7.15 PM

It was now dinner time and you sat beside Gunwook in the restaurant. Jazz music and dim lights give a certain vibe to the dinner table, camera lights flashing from the number of pictures taken of each other, you looked at Gunwook, confused about what to order “I seriously don’t know what to order, I’m not even hungry yet” you sighed “Well, you still have to order something? This looks good” he said while pointing to one of the dishes stated on the menu.

While waiting for the food to arrive, the long day that you’ve had that day has made you feel drowsy, you place your head onto your arms on the table, close your eyes, and fall asleep. When you wake up, you see that Gunwook’s jacket is wrapped around your body to prevent you from getting cold, you sit down properly, taking the jacket to give it back to Gunwook, “Thanks” you smile, leaning your head on his shoulders from still being tired.

You hesitated to do that at first, but when you finally placed your head on his shoulders, it gave you peace, nothing feels weird when it comes to physical touch with him because of the memories you’ve shared since childhood, but it seems like you’ve forgotten about that before you rested your head.

“No problem” Gunwook smiled, patting your shoulders in response. As you had your conversations with Gunwook with your head on his shoulders, Yunjin, who sat in front of you, secretly took a picture of the two of you, capturing a beautiful memory that will last a life time.

☆ 11.45 PM

Coming home to the villa from dinner with a happy stomach, you immediately got cleaned up and went to bed, preparing yourself for the upcoming days.

- Day 6

The trip with your friends is nearing an end, so the eight of you spend the remaining moments walking around Bali, shopping, going to the beach, eating some more traditional foods, and learning more about the culture.

Spending the whole day out with different activities was a lot of fun, but it drained all of your energy by the end of the day. When you all went home to the Villa, you guys spent more time talking and ordering food before heading to bed.

☆ 00.40 AM

You were lying down on your bed while scrolling through your phone before hearing a knock on the door. When you opened the door, you saw Gunwook standing with his hoodie, shorts, and glasses, “Need anything?” you ask “Yeah, I’m bored” he sighed “So? What should we do?” “I have some ideas” he smiled, pulling your hands gently to follow his lead.

The two of you ran to the car that you guys rented on day one, “Where are we going?” you asked confused “Anywhere, just get in the car” he laughed. As he starts the car, he sets up his phone to put some music on the Bluetooth, giving a fun vibe to the moment.

Gunwook drove around the empty streets with the car, blasting music with the windows down for the wind to enter.

Suddenly, Gunwook stopped the car on the beach, the lonely beach was illuminated by the moon’s grace. The two of you sat down on a bench inside the beach, it was silent, the only noise filling the space between the two of you was from the waves in the ocean, but that was what made it beautiful, the silence wasn’t awkward, it was far from awkward, the silence connected the two hearts and the two souls.

“Hey, Gunwook” You looked at him “Hm?” “I’ve had a lot of fun, thanks” You smiled, and Gunwook gave you a sweet look, his eyes filled with genuine Awe before he wrapped his arms around your shoulders ��My pleasure, y/n” he laughed, ruffling your hair till it was messy.

You spent your time at the beach walking around while having deep talks, writing your names on the sand, and chasing each other around. The amount of fun you had that night was unexplainable, believe it or not, you were glad you spent the night with Gunwook at the beach while opening up to each other.

“It’s late, we should go back to the Villa” Gunwook declared while checking the time on his phone “You’re right, let’s go” you replied, walking back to the car with Gunwook to head back.

☆ 2.18 AM

“Thanks again, I had fun!” you tiptoed to give Gunwook a pat on the head in front of your room “No need to thank me, Good night, sleep well” he laughed, giving you a short hug before heading to his room, the hug was warm, it gave you all the comfort you’ve ever needed.

The hug was short, but it stayed in your mind the whole night, it’s just odd to think that you and your childhood friend have finally fixed your friendship after years, but you’ve grown to love it

-Day 7

☆ 10.00 AM

Packed and ready, you and your friends finally went to the airport to end the trip. All eight of you felt a little sad to leave Bali, but there will always be another time to come back.

“Here, let me help you with that,” Gunwook said while taking your bag “You don’t need to” “I know, but I want to” he smiled, carrying your bag and his bag.

There were a lot of ups and downs during the trip, but it was great to end it on good terms.

In the airplane, your seat was beside Gunwook’s, if it was the first day of the trip, you would’ve complained and asked one of your friends to switch seats, but it isn’t the first day, so it’s safe to say that you were quite happy with the sitting.

You’d often fall asleep and wake up with your head on his shoulders, and sometimes your arms would be intertwined with his.

Other parts of the flight would be filled with your silly conversations with Gunwook, and some more catch-ups during the few years.

{ Section 2: Trip’s aftermath! }

After the trip, you and Gunwook would often hang out at school during breaks, and even hang out after school, some people were confused because of the sudden change of behavior between the two of you, and some of them were even jealous of you.

Gunwook would often come over to your house during his free time when the two of you were bored and had nothing to do.

One week after the trip the eight of you had to Bali, school unfortunately started and you had to continue your routine of studying all the time. You and Gunwook were assigned as pairs for a project, so you decided to come to your house to finish it.

“Gunwook?!” Your sister Amaya shouted from the living room when she saw Gunwook standing by the door “May?” he smiled “I haven’t seen you in ages!!” Amaya laughs, running to Gunwook’s open arms “How old are you now?” Gunwook asked as he let go of the hug “I’m ten now” she smiled, showing a shocked expression on Gunwook’s face “Weren’t you like five when I last saw you?” “Well, it has been a couple of years” “Okay you two, Amaya you can talk to your long-lost brother after we finish this project, and Gunwook you can also talk to your long-lost sister after we finish this project, okay?” You chuckled, patting your sister’s head softly “Okay sis, bye-bye Gunwook!” she smiled.

Considering you and Gunwook have known each other since birth, Gunwook has also been familiar with your sister ever since she was born, when your parents were out together, Gunwook and you would often take care of Amaya back then, but it stopped ever since your rivalry started with him, and Amaya missed Gunwook for a while, he was like a brother to her.

The project was a pretty big one, and the deadline was still in a couple of weeks, so you and Gunwook decided to only research things for the project today and continue the main thing on the other meets. When Gunwook exited your room, he saw Amaya sitting down on the couch “Amaya, I’ll be heading home okay!!” he said “Okay!! Please visit more” she replied with a smile “I will!!”

When Gunwook and you reached the front door, Gunwook bid his goodbyes by hugging you before entering his car, closing the doors, and driving away.

☆ 2.35 AM

Ever since you were young, you’d often get nightmares here and there, some of them aren’t that scary, but some of them are capable of keeping you awake the whole night, and in this case, it kept you up all night.

Your parents are on a business trip and your sister is already asleep, you are shivering and scared beneath your sheets, unable to move a single muscle due to the fear you have. The only thing within reachable distance was your phone, you thought of someone who could accompany you, but nobody came to mind, but there was one person who lives near you, and who you also feel comfortable with, Park Gunwook.

You took your phone, dialing his number with a heavy breath and panicked state. It took some time for him to answer, his voice tired and low, signaling that he was long asleep before you called him, “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked when he heard your heavy breathing “Gunwook, I can’t sleep” You replied slowly as your words were cut off by your breathing “Oh is it your nightmares again? Calm down, you’re okay, give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be there” he spoke out, you could hear the rustling from his bed when he hurriedly stood up to put on his hoodie.

“I’m not gonna hang up, so just lay down and scroll through your phone, I won’t take long” he comforted you while starting his car, driving through the empty streets at midnight for you.

After a few minutes passed by, you heard the passcode from your door getting unlocked, and as you were about to panic, you heard Gunwook’s voice through the phone “It’s me, don’t panic, I’ll hang up now” he enunciates

Your bedroom door opened, revealing Gunwook with his Hoodie and his shorts, accompanied by his glasses and messy hair, he walked over to you, pulling you into a comforting hug “You’re okay y/n, you’re okay” he chuckled, placing soft rubs on your head with the hug “Stop laughing” you whined “I just find it funny how you’re still scared of your nightmares, I remember having to comfort you all night during our sleepover when we were kids” he conveyed “Sorry for bothering you, It’s late” You sighed “It’s fine, I understand” he smiled.

Gunwook ended up staying the night at your place because it was also too late for him to drive back and he was tired….and you were also still scared.

A few days passed and Gunwook came over to your house after school again for you guys to finish the project.

When the two of you were taking a break, you both laid down on the bed, bored and hungry, “I’m hungry” you sighed “Same, any food downstairs?” Gunwook asked, “Nah, you wanna order something?” “Yeah, sure” he smiled, sitting down on the bed to stretch his body.

When the food arrived, you and Gunwook ate your meals while watching the series that the two of you started together.

You worked on the project until it was late at night. When the clock struck 11.30 PM, you and Gunwook had finally finished half of the project, raining the room with happiness and relief, both of you cheered and gave each other a high five before Gunwook lifted you in a hug to spin you around, making you shout “Okay okay! Put me down” you laughed “I’ll get going now, sleep well, call me if you get more nightmares” he smiled, quickly patting your head before leaving your house.

You went back into your bedroom, lying down and smiling to yourself from all the butterflies in your stomach, “Stop why do I feel like this, am I going insane” you laughed awkwardly, obviously denying the truth.

“Hey Amaya, Gunwook is coming over again for our project, so don’t be too loud, okay?” You smiled “You know me, I’m never loud! And, is he your boyfriend yet?” she giggles “What kind of question is that?” “Oh, I know you’ve been giggling about him, sis!” “In your dreams? Go back to your bedroom.” you scoffed before hearing a knock on your front door, Amaya shrugged her shoulders and sprinted to her room, leaving you alone to open the door.

When you opened the door, you saw Gunwook standing with a bag of food “So we won't have to order food again, I got us some food on the way here” he smiled “Thanks, Gunwook” you laughed, ruffling his hair while you tiptoe.

Okay let's be clear, your feelings are there, it's obvious to you that you like him, but you’re in denial. Why? Because falling in love with your childhood friend who then turned into your enemy, then your best friend feels a little…odd? You keep on questioning yourself ‘What is he gonna think about me?’ What image would he have on you if he figures out that you are quite literally in love with him? Is the friendship gonna end again? Or will it be a good ending?

But during your daily overthinking session, Gunwook suddenly texted you

Gunwook: Hey, let’s go somewhere, I’m bored

You: Sure, what time?

Gunwook: I’ll pick you up by 6, get ready

You: Okayyyy

You didn’t even know where you were gonna go, but it was an automatic response for you to say yes when he asked you to go somewhere, you didn’t even hesitate.

You wore an outfit that matched the weather outside, the outfit fits you well, starting from how the colors blend into your shade well, to how nicely fitted the clothes are with your body shape.

After getting ready, you checked and saw that the clock had reached 6 PM. Right when you realize, you feel your phone buzzing, showing an incoming call from Gunwook.

“I’m downstairs” his voice was heard from the phone “Gimme a minute” you replied, spraying yourself with perfume before going downstairs to his car.

As you entered his car, he wore an outfit that matched yours perfectly, making the two of you look like an inseparable couple. “Hey, we’re matching” Gunwook laughed, ruffling your hair in adorance “I know right, what a coincidence” you replied, a bright smile plastered across your face.

Gunwook started to drive his car, and you arrived at a park filled with cute restaurants and cafes. The area was lively, it was surrounded by flowers and nature, giving you a fresh yet graceful atmosphere.

Turned out, Gunwook had already booked a seat in one of the restaurants for the two of you, he chose the semi-outdoor restaurant, the walls covering you were all glass and the interior had a lot of greens, there was even a fountain on the center of the restaurant.

Because the wall and the ceiling were glass, the moonlight from above shined through the glass, with all of the beautiful things surrounding you, like nature, the moonlight, the small candle in the center of the table, and most importantly, Park Gunwook, you felt safe and comfortable.

When your meals arrived, Gunwook fed you some of his dish, smiling at your puffed cheeks while you munched on the food he fed you.

Eating and having silly talks with him definitely filled up your stomach, but there’s always enough space for ice cream.

While the two of you walked by the park to the nearest ice cream shop, he pointed at the stars, while you stared at the beautiful sight of the star, he was also starting at a beautiful sight, you.

“Wait here, I’ll buy us the ice cream,” he declared, pointing at the bench near the ice cream shop, you nodded, not thinking much about it. While waiting for Gunwook to come back with the ice cream, you spent your time on your phone, scrolling through endless contents, before noticing that it had been sometime after Gunwook left.

You were just about to text him before you felt someone’s finger tap your shoulder. You saw Gunwook standing there with a smile, holding two cups of ice cream…a stuffed animal and…flowers?

“Sorry if that took a little long” he chuckled, giving you the cup of ice cream “Oh, and here’s one more thing” he smiled, handing the bouquet filled with roses, “The sudden bouquet? What’s going on?” you looked at him suspiciously, “I think you missed the note inside there, read it” he laughs “Hold on” you sighed, taking out the note before quietly reading it.

‘Okay y/n, I know you hate bullshits so let me just get to the point HAHA, after the trip we had to Bali, we fixed our friendship and we were able to catch up with each other, and when school started again, we were paired up for the project, and from all those days I’ve spent at your house, I would find myself constantly thinking about you when I’m at home, even somehow missing your annoying ass the second I drove away from your house. Yeah yeah cringe whatever, but I like you, and it’s not something that I can control, thank you for understanding me, thank you for keeping up with me, so, will you Take a chance with me?’

You gasped the second you finished the letter and realized that Gunwook felt the same way as you. You faced him, holding back a stupid amount of tears after being relieved that he wouldn't think you’re insane, and also because it got to you, the guy you grew up with, the guy who was always there for you, but also the guy who you hate, the guy who you can't spend a single day with ever since middle school, fell for you, and you fell for him? The long years you’ve spent together, thinking that you will have no feelings for each other at all.

You laughed, feeling tears coming out of your eyes “This is so dumb, why am I crying” you whined, standing up from the bench to walk into Gunwook’s opened arms “Yeah, why are you crying?” he laughed, brushing soft strokes on your hair while he hugs you.

After taking a moment to let go of your tears, you took a breath, stepping out of Gunwook’s hug, still sniffling after crying “Sorry, your shirt is kinda wet now” you giggled “It’s been through worse” he smiled “And, yes, I'll take a chance with you, Gunwook” you looked at him, his face filled with mixed expression, you can tell that he was shocked, but you can also tell that he was happy about it “Seriously?” “Yeah” “You’re not joking?” “I’m serious,” you said, Gunwook hurriedly hugged you once again, lifting you while spinning you around “Thank you” he whispered while he slowly put you down.

You and Gunwook continued your time at the park while intertwining your fingers together, the two of you look like an inseparable couple, and you most definitely are an inseparable couple from now.

Even when he was driving you home, he drove with one hand, the other one holding yours as his eyes were focused on the road. You felt comfortable, so comfortable, to the point where you fell asleep in the car with your hand in his.

The end of the day had come, and it's safe to say that it’s been such a rollercoaster that day, but overall, it ended with the best thing you can ever ask for, you can call him yours from now on.

The two of you stood in front of your door on your front porch, before you entered your house, you hesitated for a good fifteen seconds before giving him a quick peck on the lips, his face was frozen, let alone his face, his whole body was frozen, and you were about to enter your house before he pulled you in for another kiss, one hand is placed around your back, and the other supporting your chin, you can feel the slight curve forming from his lips, expressing his happiness to be yours.

When you’ve gotten cleaned up, you lie down on your bed, rolling around and throwing pillows across your room, clearly flustered from what just happened.

You hug the stuffed animals that he gave you, falling asleep with his scent that’s stuck on the item you’re hugging.

You’ve never had a better sleep than that night.

{ Section 3: So…we’re a thing now? }

You and Gunwook would try to keep your relationship from your friends, but it seems like they just naturally figured it out by themselves.

Gyuvin and Ricky caught Gunwook kissing your cheeks once, and the others just assumed that you guys were dating.

☆ 3.15 PM

The eight of you were studying at a cafe together, preparing for the upcoming exam. You sighed, scrolling through the pointers on your laptop, overwhelmed by all of the things you have to prepare for, “You okay?” Gunwook, who sat beside you, asked you when he noticed your expression “Mhm” you nod, placing your head on his shoulders, “Cool, yeah, cute, get a room” Gyuvin sighed, earning a laugh from the rest of you.

It’s been a week since you and Gunwook started dating, this is all so new for both of you, so you’re taking the time to adjust, although Gunwook has been treating you in the best way possible, and there weren’t any awkward moments between the two of you.

There’s this one time when a junior went up to Gunwook while the two of you were walking together in the school’s hallway, and started to try and have a conversation with him, even asking for his number. Gunwook was a nice person so he kept up with the conversation, but when she asked for his number, he just smiled, holding your hands to give a code to the junior, she noticed the way your fingers were intertwined together, embarrassed yet sad, she walked away in defeat.

You continued scrolling through the pointers, taking notes of the topics that you didn’t quite understand yet. Even when your other friends were taking a break from studying, they’d order food and talk with each other, but your eyes and mind were still focused on your books and notes, panicked about failing the exam.

Gunwook was taking a sip of his drink while resting his back on the chair, keeping himself away from studying for a few minutes before coming back. He noticed you being so focused and stressed that your fingers were massaging the temple of your forehead, signaling the pressure.

He slid his plate of cookies to your side, also offering you his drink while rubbing your shoulders “Don’t think too much about it, you’ll do fine” he sighed, knowing that you were always the stubborn type when it comes to your grades “What if I don’t do well? What if my scores decrease?” you said panicked “At least take a break, yeah?” he replied, evidently worried about you “I will after I take notes of this slide, I promise” you smiled. He knew that you wouldn’t, he knew that you’d just continue studying without taking any breaks, but he also knew that forcing you wouldn’t make any changes, so he just sighed, taking another sip of his drink.

A few hours passed by and all of your friends had gone back to studying again after a few rounds of breaks, with no surprises, you hadn’t had a break at all, and the time was already showing 9.30 PM.

When Gunwook was revising his books and taking notes, he saw your head resting on the table with your eyes closed, he chuckled, finding you cute as you took a nap, but he also felt bad, because you’ve worked so hard the whole day while panicking about the exam until you didn’t get any rest. With some hesitation, he shook your body gently to wake you up, “Hm?” you spoke out tiredly “I’ll take you home, you need to rest,” he said softly, tucking your hair behind your ears “I’ll study for a bit more, please?” “No, you’re coming home.” he insists, his voice going firm to show his seriousness about his words “Fine” you yawned, knowing that you were tired anyway.

While he drives you home, he takes off his jacket to give it to you, giving you warmth and comfort so you can fall asleep again, which is exactly what you did.

When he was gonna drop you off on your front porch, you stopped in your tracks when you got out of the car, “Can you stay?” you asked “Hm?” “Stay for the night, Amaya’s having a sleepover at her friend’s and my parents are on another business trip, I’m uh..scared,” you said shyly, Gunwook staying over was a normal thing, it was never odd, it’s just that he’s always stayed as your friend, and not your boyfriend, “The clothes you left are still here, so…” “I’ll stay” he smiled “But you have to promise that you’re sleeping right away.” “I am, I promise”

After the both of you had gotten cleaned up, you both lay down on the bed in your PJs, you wrapped your body into the warmth of your blanket and Gunwook’s arm, falling asleep with his arms around you while his fingers played with your hair.

☆ 7.50 AM

As you woke up from your slumber, you felt an arm around your body, holding you close. You turned back your body to see Gunwook asleep, his hair covering parts of his eyes and his duck-like lips slightly parted.

The small ray of sun shining through the small opened space in between the window illuminated his facial features, without noticing, you found yourself staring at his beautiful face for a few seconds.

You were about to stand up from the bed, but your movement woke Gunwook up from his sleep. You faced your body towards him, giving you a clear view of his face, he smiled at you, rubbing his eyes while sitting himself down on the bed.

“Morning” he laughed, still trying to gather himself up while taking his glasses from the bedside table, “Morning” you smiled, standing up from the bed “It’s the weekend, let’s do something with the others instead of studying” Gunwook brought up while stretching his body “I mean, sure, but where are we going?” you asked “We can go karaoke? We’ve been planning on doing it anyway” he mentioned, bringing up an idea that you and your group of friends had planned on doing “Sounds like a plan” you smiled.

When you arrived at the karaoke place, you entered the room that Yunjin had booked for the eight of you, seeing that everybody had already arrived, you and Gunwook laughed awkwardly, acknowledging the fact that the two of you arrived late, “Took you long enough” Ricky scoffed, taking a sip of his strawberry milkshake “In our defense, there was traffic” Gunwook shrugged his shoulders, sitting down on the couch with your hand in his.

Yunjin passed the mic to you, signaling you to go and choose a song to sing, and at the same time, Matthew passed his mic to Gunwook, signaling the same thing. You and Gunwook chose to sing Almost Is Never Enough, showcasing both of your talents through a duet. Your voice and Gunwook’s voice harmonized as your eyes connected while singing, losing yourself in the melody of the song.

When the song ended, you and Gunwook laughed, bowing at the crowd, or your friends, earning applause from the room, “I might cry” Sheon whined “What” Gyuvin laughed “YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE” she exclaimed, fake crying while adoring the relationship you have with Gunwook.

Singing with Gunwook brought you back to the days when your tiny bodies would sing together for fun in each other’s room, not caring about your surroundings as a child.

You and Gunwook sat back down on the couch, you placed your head onto your boyfriend’s shoulder, making him smile and wrap his arms around you in response, he kissed the top of your head before saying something, “Babe” he said “Hm?” you look at him.

“Thank you for taking a chance with me.”

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random-ikea-drawer · 4 months ago

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ok so i love les miserables

AND I JUST GOT TO SEE IT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE NORTH AMERICA TOUR (more specifically Montreal! (yes i flew to an entirely different country to see it)) and i am incredibly attached to enjolras and grantaire so here are just things i saw that made my nails dig into my thighs <3 (not just enjoltaire)

oh my dear months old source of no big sad

this is 90% incoherent rambling (SPOILERS)

- Grantaire had long hair and a long coat i think that deserves its own point

- During Red and Black, Grantaire did the old “Don Juan” with the bottle right in Enjolras’ face (he was not impressed)

- In this same song, Enjolras got really close to R’s face during “don’t let the wine go to your brain”

- Again, in Red and Black, when they tossed Grantaire’s bottle to Enj, teasing him, Grantaire grabbed the bottle in a… way… when he was giving it back to him

- Same song 😭 Grantaire was bouncing on a guy’s lap during the first few verses

- In DYHTPS, Grantaire pulled Gavroche aside away from the students crowding Enjolras (this broke my heart, he clearly loves him and doesn’t want him to be in a war)

- “Glad to do a friend a favor” with a very suggestive hand gesture

- In the “dogs will bark flees will bite”, Grantaire pointed a finger at Enjolras, the former getting real close putting his weapon between them. They got REALLY close

- Gavroche pulled the middle finger at Javert lmao

-Eponine fucking died (i knew that already, seen every bootleg and version available, still hit hard)

- During Eponine’s death Gavroche ran onto the stage, closely followed by Grantaire being held onto by Enjolras

- Gavroche tried approaching Eponine (that’s his sister bro :()) but was stopped and held onto by Grantaire. When she died however, Grantaire quickly bent to hug Gavroche, man the grief was so clear with them both.

- After she died, everyone cleared to their positions but Enjolras and Grantaire, seemingly for Enjolras to try and comfort him, but decided against it quickly and pushed past him. Grantaire placed his hand on his chest in mock offense 😭

- When the attack was about to start, Grantaire mocked and toyed with tied up Javert. When Enjolras called for hold, Grantaire threw his arms around Javert with a “yep!” and cue the battle starting immediately when that happened

- During Grantaire’s verse during Drink With Me, it’s back to Enjolras and Grantaire being center stage. Enjolras approached him, held onto his arm and with the same hand moved up to brush R’s hair, which lead to him breaking off the contact and rushing to the other corner of the stage.

-He was followed by Gavroche, who hugged him from behind and then they both fell asleep next to each other :((

- Gavroche fucking died (i knew he did still heartbreaking) and was caught by Enj, who handed him to Grantaire

- During the Gavroche solo, Grantaire stood center stage looking to the crowd, not even flinching when the gun sounded, only turning around when Gavroche was already at the top of the barricade

- He tried shaking him awake :(( then set him down and stared at him :((

- That was until Marius fell, Enjolras rushing to check on him, making Grantaire rush to his side

- R grabbed onto Enj and they both held the back of each other’s necks,, from my angle it looked like their foreheads touched but idk if they would do that but MANNN

-Enjolras fucking died first (no wtf :(( )

- Grantaire fucking died last (BRO.)

- Everyone fucking died bro

- Except Marius and JVJ of course

- Mr Thenardier, instead of singing “This one’s a queer but what can you do”, sang “This one’s a queer, I’ll try it to!” and dipped a guy in the wedding 😭

- The “to love another person is to see the face of god” line always makes me emotional just :((

that’s it haha hopefully y’all enjoy the ramblings, ty for reading this far, i seriously recommend going to watch it if you can it’s truly the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen man 😭 may be biased but i’m serious

#drawer rants #enjoltaire #les mis #les miserables #les miz #victor hugo #les mis north american tour #les miserables north american tour #enjolras #grantaire #les amis de l'abc #jean valjean #javert #gavroche #eponine #mr thenardier #might revive my art blog for this fandom gang #im back on my shit 😭

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swyrlwyrxx · 20 days ago

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THERIANS/OTHERHEARTEDDD I HAVE A THING 2 SAY

music can give me the most species euphoria ever so i wanna share some artists that give me major alterhuman vibes (especially of the woodland kin sort) ...none r particularly underground but whateva

aurora - LOVE HER SMMM , she made the song running with the wolves if yall are familiar :3 lots of sirenkin euphoria for me personally ,, i reccomend her albums the gods we can touch , step I , and step II . very wild very free

hozier - his album wasteland, baby! OH MY GODD makes me feel like i was born to live in the woods (i was) rips shirt off and turns into a werewolf (also his name album is rly good ^^)

crane wives - classic therian-associated band it would be a crime not to add them , their albums coyote stories and foxlore oughhh im ill

florence + the machine - honestly any of their albums, i really like the songs spectrum and dream girl evil

fleet foxes - another classic, their name album MAKES ME OHYNMGNFFN WHERES MY EARS WHERES MY PAWS RHHHH

adrianne lenker - her album songs (yall prob know this one) , pretty sad but still very . frolicking around sun on my face etc etc

ill definitely add more 2 this if i think of more bands ^^ hope this doesnt flop cause i lowk worked on this lol

#therian #music #caninekin #sawyerkins #alterhuman #sawyerrecs #therianthropy #canine therian #alter human #otherkin #alterkin #wolfkin #otherhearted #coyote therian #therian community #non human

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s-4pphics · 2 years ago

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scent of the pine. 1 (e.w.)

omg i finally wrote something who woulda thought gosh golly damn hey yall whos gay around here

wc;cw: 9.6k mmmm, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, so many time skips and theyre not even done yet omg, queer duh, all ocs r black coded<3, mentions of underage smoking/drinking(nics n weed obv), partying, making out, blood(it’s fake but still), all tlou kids appear including *gasp* cat, lots of ocs theyre gonna thrive in later chaps, depression, anxiety, disassociation, crack(it’s not all bad yall laugh a little!!), mentions of therapy, uh yeah just alot of sad and drama, smut in later chaps🤭🤭

You have always been surrounded by music.

When you were born, your mother quieted your screams with song, holding you close to her chest and gently whispering words of affection and love into your ears while your three-year-old sister jumped in celebration for new life.

When you were two, your mother gave you your first ever violin toy. Your sister had taken a large interest in the flute at age four, saying that the whistling noises sounded like birdies! and she wanted to give you the same exposure. It could have been sheer luck or her maternal instincts, but you quickly became attached to it. It was small and inexpensive and hardly sounded like a violin, but its bright lights and animated face near the scratched, poorly painted F-holes entranced you like no other. You couldn’t stop fiddling with the red, blue, and green buttons across the body, and every time it played the same robotic instrumental, you waved your arms around with the biggest smile on your face, like you could fly away from elation. Your sister would sometimes jump in and blow into her months old pink recorder while the instrumental played from your toy, imagining you were a part of a world-renowned orchestra: the musical harmony between the two of you brought your mother joy.

When you turned three, your mom and sister invited over some of her friends to help make cupcakes topped with musical notes for your special day. You sat on the couch with your favorite toy in hand as the instrumental played, jumping up and down on the cushion from pure excitement. Your sister’s friends kept you entertained while your mother prepared dinner, banging together pots and pans with wooden spoons and dancing, imagining them as drums. All four of them made you laugh with jokes, sang to you—one of them even played a song on one of her miniature, bright green guitars— and allowed you to experience some of the joys of life through symphonic expression.

When you were four, your mother noticed differences in your behavior. She noted that you and your sister were polar opposites: she was outspoken, unapologetic, and animated, while you were shy, polite, and timid. You hardly ever spoke unless spoken to, and though no one around you judged you for it, your mother often wondered what went on in your head. Despite your lack of communication, she never doubted the fire inside you: she saw it in your eyes whenever you watched footage of some of the most famous names in the classical world play their hearts out. When you were five, she signed you up for violin lessons.

When your big sister turned eight, she and her friends' released screams of excitement when she revealed her very first flute. She jumped in excitement, —mostly out of relief that she wouldn't have to berate you and your mom with the shrilling bleats of her old, pink recorder— shrieking about how she and her friends should start a band as soon as possible.“How the hell would a trumpet player fit in a rock band, you idiot?” You remembered your sister's best friend, Ellie, saying quietly so your mother wouldn’t hear from the kitchen, earning a playful shove from Jesse, your next-door neighbor. The dark-haired girl, Dina—who lived two houses down and had a large obsession with slapping her mother’s keyboard in the middle of the night—bursted into a fit of giggles while pointing at the young boy, making him blush.

You were always very observant of your sister's friends. You didn’t have many opportunities to make some of your own due to your incessant need to isolate, so you managed with what you had. They intrigued you: they were loud, lively, and exuberant. They never shied away from demonstrating their talents to you or your mom, especially the green-eyed, auburn-haired girl that almost always had her father’s black acoustic guitar strapped around her small frame on the three-block walk to your house. You remembered when she brought the guitar to school to play for the other students during lunch time, which landed her in after-school detention after she scolded one of her teachers for confiscating it, claiming that they were “limiting creative expression” and telling them to “screw themselves”.

When Ellie’s father, Joel, came to pick up your sister's friends from her party, Ellie jokingly pinched your side and threw you a quick see ya, squirt! while her and her two friends laughed and waved their way out of your front door. Your face ran hot as you watched them—her—leave. You didn’t get to reply before they ran down your porch in a heap of giggles. Watch the road, nuggets! I don’t have life insurance! You remembered Joel calling out to them as they sprinted across the street.

When you turned eight years old, your mother gave you your very first authentic violin and bow, the black case wrapped in glittery, floral paper. As usual, your sister and her friends grabbed and shook your shoulders out of excitement and anticipation of seeing you play since they never have, which you politely declined. You have always shied away from revealing your natural talent due to your scalding fear of embarrassment, resulting in only your mother and violin teacher knowing your abilities. You blushed as your sister, Jesse, and Dina pressed on, pleading that you play at least a couple of chords for them, causing Ellie to playfully come to your defense with a high-spirited squeal of she’s shy, you heathens! leave her be before I kick all your asses!

From that moment on, you always looked up to Ellie and her comfortability with herself. You never thought that you would meet someone more confident than your sister, but Ellie had her beat for miles. Regardless of where she was or what she did, she moved with a confidence that you only dreamt of having at that age. You wanted so desperately to mimic her, but that annoying voice of doubt never failed to remind you of your place. You made sure your light was dimmed, always.

When your sister was twelve, she began to take music very seriously. She went from two flute sessions a week to five, only to return home and play some more. She’d even performed in some of her school's recitals (she vomited across the stage during her first performance, but a victory is a victory). You watched your mother scold her about not completing her homework as she stood practicing in the living room while you silently ate your dinner, which led to her half-heartedly completing her assignments with a frown on her face. Over the next year and a half, your sister's scolding started to get more intense as her grades dropped. She was never much of a scholar, but she never let her grades slip under as much as they had then. Although her music teacher was sending her home with nothing but praises after every lesson, your mom often received letters in the mail from your sister's school saying that her performance was concerning. You’d heard your mother reprimand her countless times, saying you’re not going to survive high school like this! look at what you’re doing! while your sister claimed I know exactly what I’m doing, I want to be better! I’m following my dreams! why aren’t you proud of me? They had exchanged more harsh words until you heard your sister's door slam shut and your mothers silently resigned to her room in defeat.

You heard your sister’s cries through your shared wall for a while, until a gentle voice—Ellie’s, you recognized—consoled her and told her to calm down until her whimpers silenced. You knew she had a habit of secretly climbing up into your sister's window to hang out when your mom didn’t allow company over, but you didn’t know that she also always showed up when your sister needed another source of comfort. You slowly got up and left your room, silently walking down the hall until you reached your sister's door. You wanted to knock and see if she was okay, but before you could do so, the door opened and out walked Ellie, clad in her usual dark jeans and T-shirt, bracelets covering her wrists in mass, and dirty, scuffed chucks and socks in hand. She jumped slightly when she witnessed someone waiting behind the door, but instantly relaxed when she realized it was you.

“Hey, squirt. Why are you creepin’ behind the door like that?” She whispered with a small chuckle, gently shutting your sister’s door.

“Sorry.” You whispered back. “I heard her crying and I wanted to check on her. How is she?”

“She’ll be fine. She got a headache and fell asleep. I was just tucking her in, don’t worry.” She gently said, looking down at you. “I was just about to head out. Mind lockin’ the front door for me?”

“Why don’t you just leave out the window again?”

She snorted before she asked, “Dude, do you know how hard it is to climb down that rickety ass ladder you guys have outside? I almost broke my neck climbing down that thing in that storm last month.”

You quietly laughed alongside her while she bent down to put her socks back on. “What are you doing up anyway? It’s late and you have class tomorrow.”

“So do you.” You said, raising an accusatory brow at her. “Plus, I'm not tired, I’m bored.”

“I’m not tired”, she said mockingly. “What do you wanna do right now?”

“Don’t you have to be home soon?”

She waited a second before a mischievous smirk creeped on her face, “Yeah, but who cares. C’mon.”

She grabbed your wrist before quickly pulling you back into your room and gently shutting the door behind you. She took note of your room: pink and purple everything. Your walls were drenched in white and pink stripes with giant, iridescent, butterfly stickers, your bedspread had small specks of glitter sprinkled across it, which shimmered from your pink and green fairy lamp. You had a small tv propped up on your dresser, which was covered in fairy and Disney princess stickers, at the front of your room. She couldn’t help but snicker at the mountain of plushies that crowded your bed and nightstand. However, she halted when she noticed a small glass case that held two violins with their bows. She recognized the first one: a gift from your mother on your eighth birthday that had lost some shine, and another, much glossier and more tuned than the latter. It looked barely used. A small burst of joy exploded in her chest at the thought of you playing even though she had never seen it. She was happy to know that your love for music still lived.

“Your room’s cute, dude, it’s making my skin crawl like crazy, holy fuck,” she said with a soft laugh, leaning back against your door.

“Don’t make fun of me, you freakin' metalhead! It’s pretty in here and I like it,” you said begrudgingly, “Your room's scary!”

She let out a loud laugh before she acknowledged your glass-guarded instruments, “You still play?”

She nodded towards your protected instruments. You nodded from your bed and excitedly said, “Yeah, come sit! I never had a slumber party before!”

You spent the night quietly watching Peter Pan, gossiping about how in love you were with him and how you wished you could fly. Ellie silently watched you talk with curious, wide eyes as you went on tangent after tangent. You talked about movies you loved and boys you liked (which she playfully gagged at), and music you liked to listen to when you were sad, and she internalized all of it. She had never seen this side of you before, but she was so intrigued that she didn’t notice her own intensity in her own eyes. You just kept going and going before you abruptly stopped, the brightness in your eyes dimming slightly as you looked at her.

“Sorry for talking a lot,” you said, embarrassed. “Am I annoying?”

“‘Course not, squirt,” she said confused, but immediately. “Why the hell would you think that?”

You didn’t say anything, but her affirmation reignited the fire in your eyes as your rambles started up again. She let you talk until you sloppily fell asleep across your pillows and plushies, tv still quietly playing in the background. She gently got up from her position, careful not to wake you, pulled your blankets over your frame, and stealthily left through your sister’s window. She made her way back home, envisioning you playing your violin for her one day.

Ellie became the person that you turned to whenever you needed reassurance. She’d never failed at making you feel acknowledged and seen and heard.

Age thirteen was the first time you anticipated the summer. Middle school had been a very disconnected period for you, and though many of your peers had experienced a sense of helplessness through these trine times of adolescence, yours was slowly overtaking your ability to feel excitement for anything. You had become so detached to the world around you and that annoying, discouraging voice had only spurred on your distance. This dark state that you entered caused you to separate from everyone, including your own family. Your last day of eighth grade was the giddiest you had felt in a long time, and you couldn’t wait to get back to your place of solitude—home.

Your sister entered her element in high school. Much to your mother’s delight, she was able to find a balance between fulfilling her dreams as a musical prodigy while staying afloat academically.

You had been attending your violin lessons for eight years, and though you were blessed with your musical perception, —according to your teacher—you never played in front of an audience. Though your teacher was eager to put you in the children’s orchestra that he trained, your mother did not want to push you into something you weren’t ready for, so she'd always decline politely.

In July, Dina invited you and your sister over to a pool party. Her parents were going to be out for the weekend, and she thought that it’d be the perfect time to be reckless. When you and your sister walked in with your towels and snacks in hand, she greeted you both with an excited squeal, beckoning you both to the backyard. Ellie, Dina’s older sister, Talia, and a few older girls that you didn’t recognize, were already in the water, splashing and laughing.

“Look who just arrived, cunts! My babies, my angels, the lights of my life— “

“Ay, shut the fuck up!” the blonde-haired girl yelled with a grin, causing Dina to flip her off and the others to laugh.

You modestly held your folded towel in your hand, smiling at their interaction. Your sister had already discarded her towel, shorts, and flip flops on a random beach chair before she cannonballed into the pool, causing everyone to swear and splash her. Dina then jumped in right behind her with a shout. They all blended so well, and you curled into yourself. Maybe you should go—

“Get over here, squirt! It’s hot as fuck out here,” Ellie shouted out with a smile, before a girl in a black bikini playfully jumped on her back, planting a light kiss on her shoulder. Something unfamiliar panged in your chest, but you nodded and slipped off your flip flops before making your way over to the pool stairs, slowly submerging yourself into the water.

“You’re still calling her squirt like she’s four, cut it out already,” Dina called out with a snort before she addressed you.

“I’m not sure if your sister ever mentioned anything about these losers but they’re some friends from school, that’s Cat, Abby, and Riley,” she said and pointed them out, “and they’re really fucking annoying—

“Shut the hell up before I drown you,” said Abby with a straight face.

“Yeah, keep talking to me like that— “

“ANYWAYS,” Ellie interrupted, “We missed you kid, where ya been?”

“Just at home, nothing crazy. I’m glad to finally be out, though.” I think I’m depressed, please don’t notice.

“She’s lying, I nearly had to drag her ass outta bed by her feet to detangle her hair this morning,” your sister corrected with an over dramatic eye roll.

“I’m just tired,” you said meekly. “School was hard these past two weeks.”

“I bet it was! Literally no one ever talks about how crazy middle school is! I damn near backflipped off the stage at our promotion,” Riley commented with a head shake, making Abby aggressively nod her head in agreement.

As the side conversations continued, your attention was overtaken by Ellie, who had moved to the opposite side of the pool to whisper something into the short-haired girl’s—Cat, who hasn’t acknowledged you yet—ear, which made her giggle and half-heartedly push Ellie away. The green-eyed girl didn’t budge, wrapping her arms around the girl's waist, pulling her closer and, much to your surprise, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. Cat had a tight grip on Ellie’s olive-green rash guard as she held her and shared soft whispers that you wished you heard. Was that her girlfriend? you thought. You knew Ellie liked girls due to her almost two-year long crush on Riley, which she confided in you and your sister about when she was fourteen. She had wildly knocked on your sister’s window in the middle of the night with a tear-stained face, frantically pacing and claiming that something was wrong with her.

Why the fuck do I want to kiss her and hold her hand whenever I see her?

This is bad, this is really really bad, guys, something’s wrong!

What do I do, how do I stop this!

You had never seen her so defeated, and her wet cheeks and scared eyes made your chest hurt with a sharp stab. Your sister had pulled her into a tight hug and quietly hummed a tune in her ear to soothe her sobs, while you gently rubbed her back and told her that she was going to be okay. She ended up staying the night, dozing off while holding one of your sister’s stuffed animals close to her chest while the two of you held her from both sides. You and your sister hadn’t slept in the same bed since she was six.

As the party slowly died down and Talia, who snuck away to her room much earlier, beckoned everyone inside with a get outta the pool you freaks! you’re gonna prune! from the back door, you all resigned inside to rinse off and change clothes before heading to the living room to watch a scary movie. You silently smacked on your sour gummy worms on the lone lounge chair as you watched Abby, Riley, and your sister cower behind pillows to block the screen while Dina snored loudly, while Cat and Ellie snuggled on a lounge chair. She had her chin propped up on the dark-haired girl’s head to see the screen while she rubbed her back.

As the film progressed, you saw the couple making small movements out of the corner of your eye. Cat began to subtly plant soft kisses on her cheek, neck, and shoulder, causing the auburn-haired girl to smirk, moving her head to the side to give her more access. You saw Ellie pull her girlfriend’s shirt up slightly, rubbing the exposed skin on her hip. You seemed to be the only one who noticed as the girls on the other couch squealed at another jump scare. Ellie and her girlfriend shared a more intense kiss, and you saw a glistening tongue poke out. That made you avert your gaze and you blushed, embarrassed that you were catching such an intimate moment. You quickly got up with a quick excuse of I gotta pee, making your way to the bathroom down the hall. Your face was boiling, and your heart pounded in your chest as you soaked your hands with icy water before wiping them down your face, that voice in the back of your head asking what the fuck your problem was.

You slowly looked up at your reflection in the mirror to center yourself, but your vision started to blur, and hands began to shake. You tried to take deep breaths; you tried you tried you tried but the air left your lungs as quickly as it entered.

Breathe, breathe breathebreathebreathe—

You jumped at the soft knock on the bathroom door, and you ripped it open without hesitation, revealing a concerned Ellie, Dina, and sibling, reaching out and asking if you were okay. How long were you there? You couldn’t speak or breathe or see so you swiftly shook your head no nonono—

Ellie and your sister guided you back to the living room and onto the couch. Ellie squatted down to your eye level, grabbing your face in her warm hands while your sister rubbed your back and Dina held your hand. The other girls’ expressions had been pulled down in concern as they watched your smaller frame tremble.

“Hey squirt, can you do me a favor? Can you breathe with me?”

“Cmon, deep breath in and hold it with me, follow me okay?” Ellie instructed. Your mimicked breaths were choked and broken, but she nodded her head at you in encouragement anyway, gently whispering a that’s it every time you shakily exhaled.

All the girls remained silent but attentive, allowing Ellie to control the situation. Riley had even gone to the kitchen to snag you a glass of water that she set on the coffee table. You tried to match Ellie’s breaths with yours, holding, in and out, holding, in and out, and you eventually calmed down. There was silence for a few minutes before Dina spoke.

“How do you feel, hun? You okay to talk now?” she asked softly while gently caressing your hand. You didn’t know how to answer, so you meekly nodded your head yes.

“Tell us what’s been going on with you. You’ve been so… MIA lately,” your friend noted, cringing slightly at her choice of words.

“I… I don’t know what’s wrong, I don’t know what… what’s happening to me—

“Shh, it’s alright, we’re gonna handle it, just try to relax for now. We’re leaving in a little, anyway,” your sister comforted. You felt Ellie’s calloused fingers gently rub your knee soothingly. You just wanted to lay down.

After some more hugs and forehead smooches from Dina, you and your sister packed up your things and headed home. You weren’t aware, but Ellie met your sister’s eyes with an intense gaze, quietly instructing her before you both left, (“You need to watch her tonight, do you understand? You watch her until tomorrow and you tell your mom what happened the second you get a chance”) which she immediately agreed to.

Your sister had held your hand tightly as you both made your way to your front porch. Your sister pulled out her semiquaver keychain, unlocking the door and quietly trudged inside. Your home was dark, meaning that your mother had already been in bed. Your sister hadn’t released the tight grip of your hand the entire trek upstairs. She opened her bedroom door, silently pulling you inside and made her way over to her dresser. She gave you a giant T-shirt to change into as she put her bonnet on. You both brushed your teeth and washed your face before heading over to her bed. You laid down facing each other, tucked under the blankets. You both looked at each other in silence, but she broke it.

“I want you to tell me why that happened, no bullshit.”

You didn’t reply. You were tired.

“Please tell me what’s wrong.” She pressed on. You noted the desperation in her eyes. Your heart was hurting.

Silence.

Her eyes shut in defeat before she turned her back to you. Your eyes burned into the worn shirt she wore. Just say it, the voice in your head screamed at you, tell her how worthless you are!

Silence.

And then an exhale.

“I think I need to talk to someone.”

You did not expect the rest of your summer to be filled with therapy sessions and journal entries. When your sister told your mother about the events of that night, much to your dismay, she immediately made some phone calls and scheduled sessions twice a week. You had to pause your violin sessions for a few weeks, and you missed it, but you knew this was more important. Your mother expressed her remorse for not paying closer attention to your behavior. Your distance, your lack of energy, your reluctance to speak, your silence—God, your silence. You were screaming without a word. She felt that she’d failed you, and she wanted to do as much as she could to reignite that light in your eyes.

You hadn’t looked forward to these meetings in the beginning, but you soon grew to like your therapist. Even though your feelings were confusing and unfamiliar to you, she was in no rush to get answers out of you. She allowed you to speak at your own pace and listened to every minor detail. She concluded that your self-doubt has bubbled over into anxiety: she recommended you journaling. She wanted you to document one thing that you loved about yourself everyday (“It can be anything: appearance, personality, talents. Whatever you wish. Just make sure you mean it”).

And so, you did.

The next month flew by, the last bits of summer slowly easing into fall, and you were going to start your first year of high school. Your mother and sister had noticed a slight change in your behavior during your break: you started eating dinner with them instead of in your room, asked how their day went, what their week looked like. Your sister would ramble about how stressed she was for her last year but also how excited she was to perform with the school’s orchestra at the December recital and, for the first time in what felt like forever, you rambled back. Your mother had listened from the kitchen as you two gossiped, argued, and even planned to play music together in the future. Her heart swelled. You also started hanging out with Dina, Ellie, Jesse, and your sister a lot more: one night, you followed them back to Joel and Ellie’s garage to watch them freestyle on some of his used instruments. Jesse, who babbled to you about his new love for drumming, demonstrated some techniques he had adapted from Joel on his old drum set while your sister nodded her head along to the beats he made. Dina was already improvising on their brand new sixty-one key keyboard, headphones on to tune out the noise the four of you were making. Ellie, who had stepped away to answer her girlfriend’s call, had her father’s bright green, electric bullet mustang strapped around her chest. She noticed you staring and sent you a thumbs up, you giving one back. She sent you a wink and a smile before turning away to continue her conversation. Your heartbeat increased.

Ellie had become much more attentive after that night at the party. She had always been protective of you, but her desire to talk to you increased tenfold. She would text you fried memes in the middle of the night or leave voice memos about how her dad was helping her customize his old electric guitar. She chattered about wanting to record the entire process for all of you to see.

i feel like if i help my dad with anything he’ll wring my neck :| he’s so particular abt instruments it’s annoying

that sucks :( but at least he cares!! he’s just passionate and wants u to play the best.

he gave it to ME tho. the guitar is mine now!! i should have some input on how it looks be on my side!!! >:/

i am!! just be patient with him. ur gonna be shredding w it soon enough :D

And she also never failed to check in on you for more serious matters, either. She never pressed for information, not wanting to overstep, but she always ensured that you had a safe space to discuss anything you wanted with her. After some of your meetings, you would already have a text from her asking how your session went and what you learned. You would send her voice memos about some of your therapist’s pointers about communication and how you were trying to improve that skill for your family, especially your mom. She also provided some advice about what helped her regain her footing in conversation, joking that no one could ever get me to shut the hell up at the end of the day! that’s for damn sure.

Ellie wasn’t aware, but you started writing about her in your journal, as well. Small, little excerpts of what you liked about her and how she made you feel. How caring she was. How she made your heart beat fast whenever she was around. How strong she felt when she pulled you in for a tight hug while whispering about how she missed you—

Oh.

You were helpless… and gay.

It was late into November. You were fourteen and elated.

Not only had you slowly eased back into music, but you had friends. That you made on your own. You knew that your sister and her friends didn’t want to drag you along everywhere they went, both on and off campus, so you began to explore other paths by yourself. Swiftly after the school year started, you joined the campus orchestra, and while you were terrified, you were excited. Impassioned. Hopeful.

There were all types of groups that passed through the practice room. Students of all grades hung out, ate, and studied there: you were shocked at the number of students that lounged in the designated nerd hotspot during their free time. This is nothing like the movies, you had thought. You noted that the room was not as busy on Thursdays during lunch, and you thought it would be a good time to tune out the outside world and throw yourself into music again. One Thursday, you walked in on a group of juniors whispering and giggling about something you couldn’t hear. You looked around and noticed one of the girls from your biology class—Arya, you remembered—pushed off into a corner by herself, on her knees and hurriedly shoving her things into her backpack. She looked upset.

She looked sad.

The juniors had been talking about her.

You had your violin case and lunch in hand as you slowly made your way past the juniors and in front of her. You noticed her tear-stained cheeks shining under the white light of the room as you got closer. You softly greeted her, making her jump and eyes harden.

“Hey, Arya, you alright?” You whispered, squatting down to her level.

“What do you think,” She whispered back harshly, continuing to shove her books into her pack. “Does it look like I’m alright? If you’re here to laugh you can honestly fuck off.”

You’d flinched at her tone but pressed on. “I didn’t walk all the way here to laugh at you. Let's go somewhere else, we can eat together, if you want!”

You could tell she had questioned your enthusiasm. She looked at you skeptically before looking behind you, at the juniors, and then back at you. You didn’t budge. She slowly rose to her feet, swung her backpack over her shoulder, grabbed her instrument case from the floor—hm, clarinet— and softly nodded. You both leaving caused the juniors to laugh harder.

You didn’t care.

You and Arya have done everything together since that day. She was eager to introduce you to her two friends, Starr and Kris, who you clicked with immediately. The second they sat you down, they raged about how much they hated the writers of Vampire Diaries due to how they treated Kat Graham, how they joked about hating talented people like you and Arya, what they wanted their future weddings to look like (Kris and her Pinterest boards), and you laughed.

You were calm.

You were happy.

Your first year of high school flew by.

Your sister earned her flute solo at the December recital, earning a standing ovation from the audience of students and parents. You and your mother screamed the loudest for her.

At Dina’s eighteenth birthday party, you, Ellie, and your sister walked in on her and Jesse tonguing each other down in the kitchen. Ellie let out a hardy laugh of are you fuckers serious! right in front of my salad? while your sister fell to the floor in hysterics. You had shielded your eyes.

April came around and so did prom season. Your sister said that she had been anticipating the event since seventh grade and you, your mom, and Dina were dragged along to her fitting. She had texted Ellie to come, but she swiftly declined, claiming that she couldn’t hide my fat dick in a dress! love you tho! buy me an elf bar? :3

You missed her so much.

On the evening of prom, your sister, Dina, Jesse, and Ellie all pitched in to rent a limo. Your sister, gorgeous as always, was draped in a strapless, floral gown that cinched her waist and bloomed at her hips and her twists were pinned up to show her neckline and back. Dina wore a flowy, black dress with a leg slit. Ellie and Jesse were dressed to a T in classic black suits, him in loafers and her in beat up Vans with her usual messy, low bun.

Your parents had all met at Joel’s house for pictures and semi-alcoholic drinks. You were touching up your sister’s makeup at Ellie’s desk in her room when you felt too familiar hands pinch your sides with a soft, hey squirt. You jumped, almost mussing up your sister’s liner, causing her to kick the hell out of Ellie’s calf. She feigned an ache before hitting her mint elf bar, blowing it away from both of your faces.

“Don’t fucking play with me right now bitch, I mean it, this is serious business,” your sister had said to her.

“Oh shut the hell up, it’s three hours of musty people dancing, it’s not that serious,” Ellie said before turning to you, “Check your sister, dude.”

“El, please shut up,” you said to her. “Just hold still, I'm almost done, god you’re both annoying!”

You worked as quickly as you could, slightly smudging the liner on her waterline until you were satisfied, “…aaaand done. Tell me how it looks right quick.”

She inspected her appearance, pressing on her baby hairs before turning and giving you a fat smooch, “Thank you baby! It’s perfect, now move, I gotta piss before we go.”

Your sister jumped up from Ellie’s chair, holding her dress up while flipping her off and lightly sprinting down the hall to the bathroom, which left you both giggling.

A bored Ellie had made her way over to her bed while you worked, laid out across it, silently puffing on her nic before saying, “I don’t know how you deal with her sometimes.”

“Me neither, honestly,” you replied, smiling. “Where’s Cat?”

“Somewhere being annoying. We had an argument last night.”

“Yikes, sorry I asked.”

She sat up before shrugging, beckoning you to sit next to her in the bed, “You’re good. She felt a way about my promposal. She went off about me not putting that much effort into the sign I made and waiting until the last minute to ask. It was petty.”

You snorted with a head shake as you watched her breathe menthol out her nose.

“Don’t laugh at my shortcomings! Wait ‘til you get a boyfriend, he’s gonna forget about prom too! It’s dumb.”

You froze. Boyfriend. Boyfriend? You laughed sheepishly with another shake of your head. She noticed your reaction before you could even reply. She smirked in acknowledgement.

“… or partner. Your partner might forget.” She quietly corrected with a sly grin.

“If you say anything I’ll strangle you and burn your corpse.”

“Oh my fucking god, did you forget that I lived in the closet for almost five years straight?! You’re fine.”

She took another puff before asking, “Anybody steal your heart yet?”

“Please be serious, I haven’t even had my first kiss yet. How do you even talk to girls without dying?” You said with a pout.

She almost fell over as she giggled. “You talk to girls like you talk to everyone else, you’re gonna charm them regardless. Trust me.”

You felt your face heat up at the subtle compliment, but you gave her an eye roll and light shove before your sister came trucking down the hallway with her heels in hand. She shrieked out a limo’s here! before flying down the stairs. Ellie took one more long puff of her pale green vape before tucking it into her jacket pocket, wrapping her arms around your smaller frame as she guided you downstairs.

She smelled like mint menthol and pine trees. You loved how she smelled.

Summer came, and you’d fully accepted your big, fat crush on Ellie.

Your journal had been riddled with doodles of her name surrounded by hearts and sparkles, written words of affection through poetry, more hearts and sparkles. You couldn’t stop thinking about her: everything that she said, everything she did, did something to you. But you didn’t know that the fluttering in your chest whenever she was around would be short lived.

Your sister had spent her eighteenth birthday at Cat’s family lake house. As much as you wanted to be a fly on the wall and watch your sister go crazy, you had to settle with viewing her private story from your warm bed on Friday night. It was a mess: she had posted multiple snaps of Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and herself taking shot after shot, chug after chug, until she posted a photo of Jesse’s head hanging out of a second story window with Dina’s hand on his back and Ellie cheesing wide with her two thumbs up, nic in hand. Her next snap, however, made your smile drop from your face.

The footage was a close—too close—up shot of Ellie and Cat making out against the wall. Ellie had her girlfriend trapped between her and the wood, both hands cradling her face as she dominated the kiss. She was grinding her hips up to meet the dark-haired girl’s, pressing her body further into the wall. Ellie then dropped her hands to her girlfriend’s hips, grabbing her short dress in her larger hands to pull her even closer. You barely noticed due to the shakiness of the camera, but you saw the pink glisten of your good friend's tongue swiping up into her girl's mouth before the snap ended.

You'd nearly dropped your phone on your face.

The clip had been hilarious out of context: the loud booming of clap clap clap that ass bitch, shake that cameltoe, lemme see them pussy lips! with your sister screaming and shaking like crazy in the background, Jesse behind the couple hurling his guts out of a window, and his concerned girlfriend pouting with a turquoise bong and lighter in her hand. Anyone would’ve found it comedic gold, but you?

Your stomach had twisted uncomfortably, not only from jealousy, but from a burning, swirling heat.

You dropped your phone on your bed and sat up as angry tears blurred your vision. You knew her and her girlfriend had been on and off for a while now, so why did it affect you so deeply to see them together? How stupid could you be? you thought she wanted you after all this time? a voice that you hadn’t heard in a while said to you. You’d recognized that tremor in your hands and pick-up of your heart, and you knew that you couldn’t be alone tonight. You sent a quick SOS text to your friends in the group chat, desperately seeking comfort. Arya, ever the angel, was the first to respond with a quick and simple omw rn, stealing her brother’s car keys to pick up Kris and Starr and flew straight to your house.

The girls held you while you sobbed, gently shushing you and encouraging you to take deep breaths.

Breathe with me, squirt, there ya go.

You wished that voice didn’t sound so much like hers.

Your sister and her friends had returned home Sunday night, hungover and exhausted like hell. You hadn’t moved from your bed all weekend, and you hadn’t wanted to get up to help her drag her bags in. You immediately recognized the laughter that came from downstairs, and your heart shook painfully in your chest. Their voices were muffled due to your door being shut, but you heard a cheerful I’ll go get her leave your sister’s mouth before the sound of her rushed footsteps flooded the quiet hallway.

You quickly flipped over so your back faced the door, your blanket thrown over your body as you pretended to sleep.

You heard your door open, some shuffling, before it was gently shut again. You listened to your sister shuffle back downstairs and you heard a faint she’s slumped…. tomorrow or something…

Their chatter and laughter continued into the night while you moped in your room. Your phone had pinged around eleven, a pop-up of sleep well, squirt:3 on your home screen.

You turned your phone off and threw it on your nightstand, shutting your eyes, praying for sleep to come.

You dreamt of green and pine trees.

You had begun your sophomore year, and your friends had been a good distraction from the inner turmoil of your heart. During the last bits of your vacation, Ellie had been texting you non-stop, eager to play you the completed version of a song she’d been working on for the past five months. She’d even finished customizing her father’s passed down electric guitar: you only knew because you frequently checked her Instagram, despite the ache you felt in your chest when you saw the posts of her and her girlfriend doing cute couple shit. Her guitar had been airbrushed raven black with silver strings, and a detailed white and green skull that she painted on the body. She’d sent you and your sister the entire video of her creation as promised, but you'd only replied with a dry thumbs up emoji. Her suspicions were correct: something serious was going on with you.

After your sister’s birthday weekend in July, Ellie texted you multiple times to come help her and Dina mix a song and watch movies, but you politely declined saying that you were busy and maybe another time :)! It technically wasn’t a lie: your sister came to your defense when she asked where you were, saying that your trigonometry grade had dropped significantly after your first test, and you were desperate to get it up before your mother noticed. She had accepted that excuse for the first two weeks, but after your sixth reply of busy :( rain check? she got agitated.

She started pressing your sister about your attitude after the first month without your knowledge, but she swiftly got brushed off with a dude, she's studying at her friend's house, can you relax and pack this bowl for me please?

Ellie laid in her bed after her hotbox with her friends, confused as to why you were acting so stiff with her so suddenly. Whenever she came over to your house, you locked yourself in your room and didn’t come out to greet her for whatever reason. She had been this close to marching to your house and kicking your bedroom door down herself before she received a notification that you had updated your private story. She clicked it, and played a video of one of your friends with a flyswatter in hand yelling about how she was a world-renowned mosquito killer until the bug started flying around the unfamiliar room. Multiple shrieks, including yours, were heard before the video abruptly ended.

Ellie swiped up on your story with a quick LOOOOOOL, but she wasn’t laughing. I guess she really was busy doing something, she thought. She felt bad for assuming that you had been purposefully avoiding her, but she was not used to you being unavailable. She was a clingy high, sue her.

She clicked her phone off and hoped she would see you soon.

Ellie’s eighteenth birthday had been two weeks away.

Her birthday never felt like her own; Her dad had always made a big deal about the celebration. He spent hours blowing up balloons for her eleventh, baking cupcakes(even though he nearly burned their entire house down) for her fourteenth, and bragged to the cashier at the vinyl shop about how much of an old soul his baby girl was(“Oh this isn’t for me, my daughter is obsessed with the oldies, I really rubbed off on her, she’s turning sixteen tomorrow and I wanna surprise her!”). She’d never complained, though. She’d never say, but she loved seeing him happy more than anything in the world.

However, her attitude towards her eighteenth birthday had been different. She was eager to celebrate her transition into adulthood with the people she loved the most. She knew that she wanted a slasher themed party with blood and gore everywhere. Her inner horror movie fan had been gasping for water for years, and she was finally going to quench her thirst.

Call her Jason.

You and your sister were arguing about who would dress up as Scream.

Ellie had given your sister an invitation to her big eighteenth, and although you were reluctant about going, your guilt had slowly been gnawing at you. The last message that Ellie sent you was almost three weeks ago: a simple miss u, which you left unread. You thought it was strange how no one acknowledged the tension between the two of you, but you hardly understood it yourself, and you began to feel remorseful.

You owed her an apology, and you planned to do it tonight.

“You’re not dressing up as Scream, bitch, I’m sorry! I got you this Jack the Ripper cape, try it on.” she said as she threw the cape and top hat on your bed.

“Jack the Ripper was racist, fact— “

“Most serial killers are! It’s for aesthetic purposes only! There’s no such thing as a moral compass on Halloween.”

You stared at her with a blank expression, before she resigned, retrieving the fit, “Ugh, fine, go as one of the most iconic slashers in film history, see if I give a damn.”

“Waaaaaa, you mad.” You said with a laugh.

She yelled back a DUH! as she marched down the hall and into the bathroom to change. Your mom wasn’t supportive of the slasher costume party, but she stood no chance against your sister’s persuasive pout and googly eyes.

An hour later, you both were dressed with your gifts in hand as your mother locked the door behind you. You couldn’t begin to imagine the reaction of your neighbors if they peeped out of their windows since Halloween wasn’t for another two weeks. They better not call the fucking cops, that's all I know! your sister shouted out into the quiet neighborhood before you shushed her.

Despite the anxiety in the pit of your stomach, you were eager to see Ellie. You and your sister had pitched in to get custom-made, embroidered guitar pics as her gift: you were hoping that she liked them.

It wasn’t long before you made it onto the Miller residence. Your sister scaled the stairs of their front porch like it was a mountain before banging on the door. It shot open seconds later and revealed Dina, dressed as Freddy Krueger, and Jesse as… Saw.

That mask always made an uncomfortable shiver go down your spine.

They both pulled you and your sister into tight hugs before pulling you further inside to shut the door. The entire downstairs area was lit with red LED lights with faux cobwebs spread across the kitchen and living room walls. You and your sister almost slipped on the fake blood that was splattered all over the wooden floor. There was a giant bowl of tooth-rotting chocolate and a bag of sour gummies on the counter, right next to the multitude of Jason figurines. There was also eerie music playing from Ellie’s speaker near the TV.

You couldn’t believe you had a crush on this loser.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD IM SO FUCKING EXCITED THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN HOLY SHIT— “

Your sister, then Dina, had already been trucking back up the stairs, as they released excited squeals, which only ignited more excited squeals from other voices you barely recognized.

Jesse threw his arms around you as he pulled you inside.

“Bro, where the fuck have you been, I haven’t seen you in ages!” He said, voice muffled under his mask and over the bass from the speakers.

“I know, I’m sorry, school is crazy right now, but I’m here now,” you said with a smile and just as muffled, walking over to the counter to rip open the sour gummy bag. “Are we supposed to be upstairs or something?”

“Nah, Cat and Riley, you remember Riley, are finishing up their costumes. They really went all out with the decor though, I was impressed.”

Your smile fell at the mention of her girlfriend, and you immediately knew that you weren’t going to have fun. You lifted your mask up to shove candied worms into your mouth in attempts to center yourself.

After ten minutes of ravishing the tart candies on the kitchen barstool, you heard quick, heavy footsteps descend the stairs.

You turned to see Ellie, Abby, Dina, Riley, Cat, and your sister descend the stairs, jumping excitedly at your get-up, laughing at your mask. You barely had the chance to stand from your seat and greet everyone before Ellie pushed past them to pull you into a rib-cracking hug. You could hardly move to return the gesture.

“I missed you so much, squirt, holy shit,” she whispered into your ear. You would’ve dropped to your knees if it wasn’t for her grip. “Where have you been, are you doing okay?”

She pulled back slightly to look at your face while both your masks were atop your heads, and you got a good look at her freckled appearance. Her hair was styled in a half bun with multicolored bobby pins holding her bangs back. She was wearing light makeup: her nose and cheeks were gently highlighted, her under eyes had a dark red tinted liner that was smudged with purpose, and she shaved a slit into her eyebrow. She had on a black T-shirt that had been cut and ripped in some parts, black, ripped jeans, and an oversized, dark olive-green flannel. The sleeves were rolled up and you damn near fainted at the subtle lines of an unfinished tattoo peeking out. She also had a plastic version of Jason’s large, bloody machete secured through the belt loop of her jeans.

Holy shit.

Your face was burning hot from how close her face was to yours. “Hi El, I’m fine, happy birthday,” you said quietly, half chewing the worms in your mouth.

You turned to grab her small, wrapped gift box off the counter, softly shoving it into her chest in attempts to distract her from pressing about your whereabouts, and though you noticed her eyebrows pull down in concern, she grabbed the box from your hands before replying a gentle thank you.

Your sister slapped Ellie on the back, breaking up the moment, begging to change the music genre before dragging her to the living room to unlock her phone.

I can’t shake ass to this shit, bitch! Change it now!

I NEED A ONE DANCE, GOT A HENNESSY IN MY HAND—

It was almost eleven. Everyone had migrated to the living room after Ellie finally turned off her summoning demons :0 playlist and allowed your sister to shuffle Spotify’s Top 40 from 2016. After Riley skipped every non-Rihanna song for the first thirty minutes, Abby snatched the phone from her hands and put Drake on. They both were on top of the couch, screaming into wooden spoons like they were microphones while Jesse, Dina, and your sister jokingly popped their backs.

You had fallen back onto a lounge chair to catch your breath from the rigorous jumping you were doing, watching them all sing their lungs out.

You had the opportunity to briefly speak to Abby, who dressed up as a bloody Esther, during Riley’s incessant song-skipping since you never had the chance to genuinely talk to her. She excitedly told you about how she and Riley had been best friends since fifth grade and they both met Ellie in middle school. She cringed when she reminisced on the memory of Ellie giving Riley a glitter-riddled macaroni card for Valentine’s Day in seventh grade. Abby and Riley both graduated a year before your sister and friends did and were sophomores at Boston University, her pursuing her hockey career and Riley studying neuroscience.

The shrilling screams of Dina, Abby, and your sister when Single Ladies blasted through the speakers made you jump in your seat before you got up and made your way into the kitchen for water (and more gummies). Babe you’re not single! you heard Jesse yell to Dina.

You stood at the counter chomping on the sweets, contemplating when would be the best time to speak to Ellie one-on-one. You'd seen her escape onto the back patio, probably to smoke, you thought. You had never been confrontational, and you didn’t want to say something you regretted like hi ellie i’ve been in love with you for years i’m so sorry for ignoring you and iloveyouiloveyou—

Yeah, you’d probably leave with a black eye from her girlfriend if you did that. Just say you're sorry, don’t be selfish, don’t ruin her birthday, don’t ruin her relationship, you thought. now or never.

After your mental pep talk, you took a sip from your glass and shoved a handful of the candies in your mouth as a center. You made your way to the back door and onto the patio. Hot ass mask, you thought before ripping it off your head and tossing it onto the glass patio table.

What you weren’t expecting to see was Cat and Ellie already outside having a conversation, and from where you were standing, it looked intense.

“Why the fuck are you mad about me hugging her when I haven’t seen her in ages?”

And you froze.

“Ellie, if you can’t see that she has the biggest crush on you then you're actually delusional,” Cat spat back at her. “And that wasn’t just a regular hug either! You should’ve seen her face when you grabbed her, it looked like she was about to drop to her knees and propose!”

They couldn’t see you from where you stood and it would’ve been in your best interest to flee before you passed out from embarrassment and loathing, but your feet had been glued to the ground and you were forced to listen to their harsh exchange.

“First off, watch your mouth, I’m not fucking delusional,” the birthday girl heatedly said back. “And no she didn’t! And even if she did it doesn’t fucking matter. She's a fucking kid!”

And you’d felt your heart plummet to your feet.

The remainder of the candies in your mouth felt like sandpaper and you couldn’t swallow. You felt the all too familiar tremors of your hands start to pick up.

“Listen,” you heard her tone soften. “I’m in love with you, okay? I love you, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. I don’t think about being with anyone else.”

The sharp gasp you sucked in made both heads turn towards you in shock, and your teary eyes locked with wide, green ones.

You wanted to fall through the floor and die.

Cat scoffed and shook her head as if to say see what I mean before she puffed on her—Ellie’s—vape.

Ellie’s call of your name snapped you out of your stupor, your feet moving before your brain could tell them to, clumsily shuffling your way back into your heartbreaker’s home, sliding the door shut with a loud slam.

Everyone who’d been dancing jumped at the sound, turning to take in your ruffled state as their energetic smiles slowly dropped in concern.

“What’s the matter, honey?” Dina said gently over the still loud music.

Your sister called your name out with worry in her voice. You looked into her eyes with a head shake before you choked out a reply.

“Can we… I wanna leave, please, now.”

a/n: heyyyy lol so yeah thats that ig. if anyone even reads or sees this fic plss be nice to me ive never written anything like this b4. idk how long this will be but its def gonna be long,,, lots of ground 2 cover w this universe this game is everything 2 me and so is ellie so ye bye lolz

read pt 2 here :D

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man-down-in-hatchet-town · 1 year ago

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VHSCC OH MY GOD

(no spoilers)

Starkid nation, you aren't ready.

So let's start with the obvious. Look, I spent thirteen years growing up with Starkid. That initial Michigan gang are deeply special to me and I will always miss Dylan, Brian R., and Corey in any show they aren't in. And this one's no different. But just as Janaya came in and took over Belle from Britney so flawlessly, Curt, Brian, and AJ were all WONDERFUL in their new roles. The gentle-but-high-energy, truly decent, romantic himbo charm Curt brought to our Springsteen boy Jim (you all are going to LOVE Jim, I promise) perfectly offset the defiant, sneering anger of Young Scrooge in "That Scrooge." Brian's reactions (particularly to the "rather take my own life" line) were so funny and some of my favorite parts of the show. And AJ... this is now my favorite thing AJ has ever done. And that's saying something. The smaller casting shake-up moments (Joey as Fezziwig, other little line re-distributions) were so fun as well!

The new act 1 is PERFECTION. I was actually surprised by how absolutely hysterical it was? Like, I won't tell you what was up with that clip on Instagram of Brian, Lauren, and Joey doing a freak-out dance, but I can tell you that their whole Act 1 deal threatened to steal the show every. Single. Time. I already mentioned Curt as Jim, but you will also love Della, who is so funny and real and truly carries us through the start of the show (Janaya is a STAR and she Curt have brilliant chemistry). Ali did a terrific job of balancing the sadness and hope that are both at the center of the devastating little Match Girl. And Jamie's Grandma... well, honestly I have no idea how to talk about Jamie's song without giving stuff away.

But the real star of the show in Act 1, as he should be, was our man Clark. I can't emphasize enough how much he nailed the writing of this whole new act. I mentioned that the new stuff is hilarious, but it's also deeply heartfelt, and also sad exactly when it needs to be. Like, the transition after Jamie's song? I can't really talk about it yet, but what that moment does with emotion is unreal. And, as expected, every song is a banger! My one complaint about this show, and it IS a big one, is that there is no cast recording of the Act 1 songs. I want to listen to them all the time.

But the good news is, I CAN listen to Christmas Carol as much as I want! The classic that started it all is back, with so many people reprising the hell out of their truly iconic roles (God I love the VHS Cratchits), and better than ever. I traditionally hate change, and I love the version of VHSCC Live! we already have so much, but I think I somehow loved this version even more? The staging is alive and clever and there are some additions and changes, particularly in "Final Ghost"/"Christmas Day," that frankly blew my mind and somehow managed to elevate the material even further. I can't wait for the digital ticket to come out so that I can talk about them. To put it simply, James Tolbert mastered his Starkid directorial debut like you won't believe. I'm so proud of him and grateful for the larger role he's taken in Starkid since they moved base to LA.

Also, the Ghost of Christmas Past is extra unhinged this year? Jaime pulled out all of the impish stops and it was the BEST.

Basically, everyone more than delivered. I haven't talked about Meredith yet but she rocked it in the band and continued to validate the hell out of my opinion that "3 Spirits" is the dark horse best song in the show.

And a special shout-out to June Saito for continuing to be a costuming GENIUS. I always love her work and this production is no exception. I honestly wanted to give the return of the Bob Cratchit costume its own round of applause.

You know, the world is a mess and everything is pretty much terrible. It's been a hard year in an impossible decade. But every once in a while you come across some art that takes all of that, acknowledges the truth of it, and somehow pulls back the curtains to harness the joy and hope that's still there under the rubble. To me, Starkid in particular has always been about finding and holding onto the hope and the beauty and humanity that allows us to endure an existence that can so often feel bleak. And VHSCC is maybe the most perfect encapsulation of that idea.

So thank you Clark, James, Meredith, Brian, and everyone who worked so hard on this little bit of magic. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Let's make a little light.

#apologies for any typos it is late and I've had a wild day #Also shout out to Meredith for the number of times she teared up while playing in the band #she is so real for that #starkid #team starkid #vhscc #vhs christmas carols #clark baxtresser #james tolbert #AJ Holmes #Meredith Stepien #Brian Holden #Janaya Mahealani Jones #Jamie Burns #Lauren Lopez #Ali Gordon #Curt Mega #Joey Richter #Jaime Lyn Beatty

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thisbelongsto-nohbodys · 1 month ago

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Sad news, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur is ending after season 2 and won't get a season 3. How sad is it that Disney shows are getting shorter and shorter runs between Owl House's third season being shortened, Molly McGee not getting a season 3 at all, and Hailey's On It being a one season show? Big City Greens and Kiff are the only ones that have or are confirmed to be getting more than 2 seasons among the shows still airing new episodes.

I can only hope that things get better for animation and that the animation guild/union is able to get a better deal with studios because at this point, y get invested in a show that the studios r just gonna cancel after a season or two? They have so much potential for money if they’d just trust in the shows and do a bit more marketing and merchandising but instead they only care about the instant profits. Not to mention that streaming and binge watching has def hurt hype for shows in this quickly moving pop culture zeitgeist…

It’s just also really sad for Moon Girl cause I liked the show and bought a number of the comics while inbetween S1-2 and liked them and wanted more but they stopped releasing them (or at least the comic shop I go to stopped selling them). Hell, ya’d think they’d have Marvel publish a tie-in comic that’s in the same style as the show, probably also a link or something to a playlist for the song to go with the climax. Then again this is Disney and they fumbled on the Star vs comics so it’s not like I’d expect anything else from them.

I guess the best thing now is to watch the last half of S2 and hope that ppl have the eps downloaded somewhere before Disney wipes it from the app

#ask #moon girl and devil dinosaur

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kookidough · 6 months ago

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random rant about tbp tiktok cause i’m actually Sick of it at this point💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ these issues probably exist Outside of tiktok as well but i only ever see them on there so thats the platform i’m gna talk about

before you read i just wanna say warning for mentions of sa!!!!!

first of all i dont want to jump straight into the serious shit so the unoriginality is actually INSANE like ive been seeing the same jokes since 2022, can we Please get something funnier than “griffin does gymnastics / is a ceiling fan” 😭 the amount of times recently i’ll see a tbp tiktok and then get someone copying the idea and making the Same exact post like 3 scrolls later is insane like Pls can we be original Pls this movie is so sad i need something to laugh at

outside of being totally unoriginal some of the jokes tend to be Really Fucking Disgusting like straight up joking about assault, i shouldn’t even have to explain that thats not funny in the slightest?? this one person made a bunch of really gross ones and kept blocking people who called them out in the comment section, my friend had to dm them Several times and all they did was take down one post, the rest are still up with a ton of views :/ i know its like shock humour or dark humour or whatever but i dont see the ‘funny’ side of a grown man forcing himself onto a child and i think if youre laughing at that you should sit down and ask yourself why you think thats so funny.. people in the comments are always like “i shouldn’t laugh” so they Know its wrong as well which just ugh the whole thing just really gets on my nerves

another thing that gets on my nerves is the lack of media literacy and straight up spreading misinformation, maybe on the media literacy part i’m just a hater but i see so many questions being asked or theories being posed when all of the things mentioned were… literally answered in the movie?? “whats up with finney and gwen’s mother” it’s literally said in the movie that she has the same ability as gwen and she killed herself bc of it, next question, “why was max so interested in finding the missing boys” maybe because he was a coked up conspiracy theorist who saw a serious crime happening in his brother’s area so he decided to be a genuine concerned citizen who wanted these boys to be found💀 “why did the grabber kill max” because he had evidence of the highly awful crimes he’d been committing and was about to let his latest victim free?? the list goes on and on but those r the main ones i see all the time

as for the misinformation. Ough. it annoys me So much this is a hill i will die on😭 i dont know if its people’s half-baked theories or personal headcanons that just got way out of hand but i see so much stuff being spread that just Isnt true, it gets spread so far that when you google these things it appears as true when its not which is annoying !!! i actually was gonna make an entire rant about one theory in particular that pisses me off so bad but i can fit it in here alongside my list of “other theories presented as facts that i Absolutely Despise”

first theory, the one i was gonna make an entire post over, is the theory that vance is the grabber’s son. if i see one more tiktok of those two with that marina and the diamonds song im going to fucking lose it😭 i have no idea where people got this from but its so fucking popular that it comes up on google and i Hate it, i think it comes from the fact that in gwen’s dream sequence, which, might i add, WAS A DREAM, it looks like the police drop vance off outside the grabber’s house and he goes inside there, which… apparently automatically makes them related…?? it takes like one ounce of media literacy to realise that Obviously he’d be getting dropped off at his own house in real life, but as a ghost he’s centred on the place he died and is showing that house to gwen in her dreams, like how every other ghost shows that house to her. awful theory awful take i hate it, if its ur personal headcanon sorry but i do Not fw that

the other theories i have like. not much to say about other than the fact that they’re Not true, i see a lot of stuff about griffin for some reason? the number tends to change but a lot of ppl say “he was kept in the basement for 4 years” like . Huh. where is your proof???? i know the missing posters are insanely unreliable but if you literally read them griffin went missing on april 2nd and billy went missing on may 4th so highly likely griffin was only in the basement for like. a month at most, no idea where ppl are pulling 4 years out of💀 i also see people say griffin has broken legs or a broken back Just because of the first scene where we see him doing a backbend but . if that was the case then he wouldnt be able to stand with the other ghosts when they show gwen the house, i think the backbend was just the position he died in and thats why he first appeared that way to finney but Hey thats just my opinion! last two i have like no rants over but just. firstly people saying robin never made it to the basement for some reason but clearly he did otherwise his ghost would not be down there with the rest of them😭 secondly the theory that vance was kept there the longest “because he’s the most feminine” which. just makes absolutely zero sense to me whatsoever idk whos random headcanon got popularised but i dont like it

okay getting serious again, while this one does not make me angry its like. just really weird to me? i think its common knowledge at this point that both the book and the movie are inspired heavily by the john wayne gacy case, with the grabber literally being inspired by john wayne gacy himself (you Cannot argue with me on this one its literally confirmed and theres a boatload of evidence supporting it). i guess its natural to see people making comparisons between the movie and the case because of the inspiration but i’ve seen Several videos recently of people taking photos of jwg victims and putting them next to tbp characters and saying thats who theyre inspired by and i think thats . Really coming across as insensitive i cant lie😭 we know the grabber was inspired by jwg and its heavily thought that billy was inspired by johnny gosch but theres not much about the others and i think its just really distasteful to compare real life murder victims to fictional horror characters just to get views/likes on tiktok, it comes across as insanely disrespectful to me but idk i havent seen anyone else talking about it so i might just be being sensitive

last thing that really really bothers me is grabber simps. while i do see it on tiktok i see it on here, tumblr, most often and its… so odd to me…. like why are you thirsting over the paedophilic serial killer… so so strange to me… i want to see art and character analysis and silly little posts about all the characters but every time i open the tbp tag i’m jumpscared by someones weird ass grabber x reader oneshot and its SO GROSS get that shit away from me😭😭😭😭 also saw this one girl on tiktok one time whos literal entire account was dedicated to the grabber and she defended this by saying the sa in the movie was “just a theory” which is so victim blamey girl i do not trust you there is so much evidence for it in the movie, again w the media literacy point, just because something isnt directly shown to you doesnt mean it isnt shown in other subtler ways… anyway i get if people like the grabber as a villain but actually like. loving him and thirsting over him is weird as fuck to me

so um ya the fandom is a trainwreck can we go back to there being like 3 of us please and thank u. if you actually read all this then Wow thank you its literally just me being chronically online and ranting about stuff that doesn’t matter in the real world at all

#the black phone #rant post #not tagging it with characters because it’s just me getting all this off my chest and idgaf if it gets notes or not

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xxfangirl365xx · 4 months ago

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STORY TIME

first time I listened to MCR and got hooked.

I had heard MCR b4 but only "welcome to the black parade" and "Teenagers" but honestly never liked either song much, so I never gave MCR much of a chance believe it or not.

it was 2022 when I listened like...RLY listened for the first time.

I was in the car with my mom and she went into a store and left me in the car for a few mins. I turned on my local "alt" radio station in the car and heard the tail end of a song. it was BEAUTIFUL! My jaw was literally dropped. like not even exaggerating. The only words I heard from the last 45 seconds were "so long and good night"

I ran home and googled in youtube

"so long and goodnight song"

and the Helena MV showed up and I watched it and listened to the song in full.I must have listened to it like 90 times that day. The vid was SOOO beautiful and well done I was shook to my core and the aesthetic totally fit my vibe and I was hooked from then on out.

Then I listened to the ghost of you,I'm not ok, and I don't love you quickly after that. That was all I listened too for a while and didn't get into the lore but I RLY liked them. the vibe was 100%

Later that year in English class while writing I put a playlist on youtube with sad mcr songs (cause it was winter and I was writing a angsty piece lmao) and this rly got me into their other songs and not just the popular ones

youtube

shout-out to this youtuber for putting me on, I listened to this combo like 4 times a day for 2 months.

But yeah, then I got into the lore, and other songs, and I bought my first piece of merch.

this shirt which is in rough shape now cause I wore it every time if came out of the dryer lol. There r pics of me in it in my high school yearbook haha.

Anyways, then I got into the lore and the guys and every album and song. And that's my lil story of how I got hooked on MCR and I love them so so much.

I have to say, there r the people who listen to mcr and the people who listen to mcr. Yall r def the second and so am I. I am so grateful to have this amazing band around in my lifetime to experience the amazing music. Gerard and the guys are such creative people, with brains that seem to work like mine, and it's so comforting to know that there are people out there who understand me. People who have the same crazy imaginations as me, the same fantasies and creative motives and theatrical and over the top visions. It's just so wonderful.

anyways thank u for letting me share with u all. I also love u all dearly and I'm so so happy to have a platform to share in these experiences with everyone and make new friends <3

#my chemical romance #mcr #my chemical fucking romance #gerard way #gee way #g way #ray toro #mikey way #Youtube

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ioniansunsets · 10 months ago

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i’ve recently been on dating apps and ITS A BATTLEFIELD OUT HERE. Could i get some heartsteel aphelios to comfort me please? 😭preferably one where the reader and aphelios are already an established relationship 🫶

✖ Comfort Heartsteel!Aphelios x Reader ✖

✖ Word Count: 566 Words

✖ Tags: Established R/S, Surgery Mention

✖ A/N: This is reader and Aphelios who are High School Sweethearts and he wants to tell you things will be ok but can't do it properly </3

✖ Wrote This Listening To: Monsters - Falling Feathers It really fit too well I am hurt….

----

It was not a good time. Aphelios knew good times, of course. He knew what it was like to serenade you under the stars, he knew what it was like to belt out songs in a private karaoke room with you cheering him on, he knew he loved having you by his side as he wrote his own songs and sung them back to you. He knew all these things that were constants in his life that he never thought he would lose.

Honestly. When he heard he would have to get surgery for his vocal chords he was devastated, but you were always there, gently consoling him. You were always by his side, always telling him how no changes of this sort would make you love him less, your love would never waver. You were a constant in his life that kept him grounded enough to see past the horrors of losing his hobbies and subsequently help him find solace in the possibilities of any sort of hopeful future. So obviously when you were the one sad, when you were the one lying in his arms crying what was he supposed to do other than try to comfort you the same way you comforted him? You were there for him and he would be there for you, that was just how it was.

A gentle hand rising to caress your cheek, the soft brushing of his thumb to wipe away your tears. His lips pressed against your cheek as he tries to will away your sadness with his affection. Not ever being able to sing again was horrible, but now, seeing you in his arms, and his voice not being loud enough to talk you through your pain, ah…he hates it. But in the end, he knows his actions are as much a comfort for you as his voice, so gently he pushes your hair aside, peppering soft kisses against your forehead. Warm breath fanning over your face as he rests his forehead against yours. His free arm firmly wrapped around your waist, holding you so close to him that you could feel the firm thumping of his heart against your chest. Carefully he leans back a little to properly look at you.

“ I’m here for you.”

It was soft, raspy and barely audible of a whisper that leaves Aphelios’ lips, a haunting semblance of what his angelic voice used to be. But it was still Aphelios, it was still your lover. Hearing him try so hard to be there for you through his own pain… His slender fingers reach out to tilt your chin up towards him, a look of concern on his face. Even when he looked at you like this, he was beautiful, the way his lips curved in a frustrated pout, how his sparkling ruby eyes looked so serious as he stares straight into yours, the way his brows furrowed as he thinks hard on how to show his care and concern. And when you crack an exhausted smile at him, the way his eyes light up, the way he pulls you back into a hug with his hands gently rubbing your back, the way he rests his head on your shoulder so you can feel his warm skin against your neck. You were loved, oh so loved by him that it was hard to stay sad for long.

#anon answer #sorry if its a bit short i think ill write another next time with a more emotional setting #wanted to make it more general comfort #Heartsteel!Aphelios #Aphelios #heartsteel #aphelios x reader #heartsteel!aphelios x reader #DRABBLE #Aphelios LoL

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swtnrcmnt · 2 years ago

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need more singer!reader hcs

୨୧ — s.r x singer!r; headcanons (3)

hi hi ! ik i said i was gonna go on hiatus (and i still will lol) but i think writing something will help keep my mind off things :) enjoy ! also i’m so sry anon this took so long.

- stays up until midnight for every album, song, or music video release even if he’s on a case because he’s the most supportive boyfriend

- anytime you win an award he goes to work the next day bragging to every team member talking their ear off about which award you won this time

- he gives everyone in the bau some of your merchandise because he loves it and he wants to show you off

- morgan teases the fuck out of him any chance he gets about his “popstar princess” girlfriend

- example: the music video is a bit more on the sexual side, and the next time he sees spencer he’s all “did you see what your popstar princess did 🤭”

- using poems from his favorite books as lyrics in your songs omg !!

- when he invites you to karaoke night with the team so they can meet you but he also wants everyone to see just how good you are

- convincing him to sing with u ! and everyone else is hyping him up like yes do it and he’s begging you not to lol

- sends you every tweet he sees complimenting you like “look, they love the new song :)!” HE’S JUST SO CUTE LIKE THAT

- again fans thirsting over him because how can you not??

- is at every photoshoot asking “do you need water? food? a sweater? are you cold? your outfit’s very small. are you sure you’re fine??”

- the biggest worrier when it comes to song lyrics and if you guys are fighting he overanalyzes every sad lyric you have as if it’s about him

- the first time you post him and the photo goes viral he’s like ???? why am i trending on twitter ?? what’s going on ???

- he’d probably never ever get used to paparazzi but surely you have your tricks to avoid them bc ik they would get so damn annoying omg

sorry this is so short, i’m braindead and burnt out rn lol

i hope u enjoyed !

part 1 | part 2

#swtnrcmnt ۵ #spencer reid #spencer reid x famous!reader #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x singer!reader #spencer reid headcanon

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weemssapphic · 1 year ago

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can I request a Larissa/r where Marilyn is r's best friend and larissa thinks they're dating and gets a biiiit jealous. then later, r gets to show her just how much they actually love her :)

hello :) you absolutely can! I loved this idea and loved writing it, I had so much fun brainstorming for it. I was debating adding smut to it but it just didn't feel natural and I liked it better this way, I hope that's okay <3

special thanks to @eveymay for the song rec later in this fic <3

so pull me tight and close your eyes

Larissa Weems x f!reader

Words: ~4.5k | ao3 link in title

Content/warnings: jealous Larissa, hurt/comfort, light angst, fluff, slow dancing

Larissa strides into the teacher’s lounge, closing the door gently behind her. She looks stunning, as usual, her red lips curling into a warm smile as her eyes meet yours - your mouth goes dry. Marilyn is speaking to you but you aren’t listening, her words fading into the background as you return Larissa’s smile, then quickly avert your gaze in a vain attempt to conceal the faint blush that is creeping up your cheeks.

You try to tune back into Marilyn’s monologue - she somehow hasn’t noticed that you’ve gotten distracted and you almost feel bad, given how enthusiastically she’s talking. You start to nod along as she clues you into her Rave’N planning, trying not to stare at Larissa as she passes by you.

“So, you’re chaperoning, right?” Marilyn places her hands on your thighs and leans towards you, pouting and batting her eyelashes. “Please say yes, no one wants to chaperone this year.”

“Yeah, of course I will.” You roll your eyes and grin, laughing at your best friend’s antics - she smiles victoriously, as if she didn’t already know you’d say yes.

Then she leans even closer and lowers her voice conspiratorially: “Have you thought about taking a date?”

“What?” You shake your head, giggling - Marilyn knows you better than anyone, and she knows you’ve been hopelessly single for years now. “You know I’m not seeing anyone. Who would I even take?”

Marilyn soaks in your puzzled expression and chuckles. “You know.” She raises an eyebrow and glances over towards the coffee machine with a smirk on her face. You follow her gaze and your blush immediately returns - Larissa’s back is to you as she waits for her coffee to brew.

“Marilyn…” you whine quietly. “I don’t - I’m not…” You sigh, sucking your bottom lip nervously between your teeth. “Fine, yes, I like her. Happy? But I can’t ask my boss out. What if she says no?”

The redhead chuckles. “There’s no way she’d say no. I’ve seen the way she looks at you when your back is turned. She has the same yearning written all over her face that you do.”

“Does not.” You pout, but your heart is beginning to pound in your chest - could Larissa really like you back? You’ve been pining over her since you started at Nevermore over a year ago, surely you would’ve noticed…

“Does too,” Marilyn teases. “At least ask her to dance with you or something.”

Your eyes widen in fear. “Oh God, Marilyn, I can’t ask her to dance with me. I don’t even know how to dance. You know how clumsy I am - what if I trip her? She’ll hate me if I make her faceplant in front of the entire school.” Complete and utter mortification rises up within you at the mere thought.

“Relax. Deep breaths.” Marilyn grips your shoulders and gives them a reassuring squeeze. She grins brightly. “I can teach you.”

“I-I don’t know…” Your attention is stolen by a certain towering blonde who walks past you towards the door of the teacher’s lounge, coffee mug in hand. She doesn’t spare you another glance this time, and your heart sinks a bit - you can’t believe your crush has gotten so strong that this makes you sad. You turn back to Marilyn with a sigh. “Yeah, sure. I guess.”

She squeals in delight. “Perfect! How about we meet in Mr. Browning’s old classroom tomorrow at 7? No one’s using it right now so we can clear aside all the desks.”

You nod and give her a hesitant smile - you have no idea what you’ve just agreed to, but you hope it will help you win Larissa over (and save the both of you from the embarrassment of your own clumsiness).

~~~

Larissa had decided to take a trip to the teacher’s lounge during her midday break. She has an espresso machine in her quarters, attached to her office - it’s way more convenient and much quicker than getting coffee in the lounge. But sometimes she finds herself enjoying a bit of socializing with her beloved staff - and sometimes you’re there, and she would never pass up an opportunity to see you. Perhaps one day she’ll even gather up the courage to ask you out, but for now she’s contented herself with stealing glances at you, her heart skipping a beat when you catch her looking and beam back at her.

She spots you as soon as she opens the door - you glance up at her from your seat at a table in the center of the room and smile, and it’s like Larissa’s world has stopped spinning for a moment as butterflies begin to flutter madly about in her stomach. Then you look away, at Marilyn who is talking animatedly, and the butterflies turn into a strange, nagging feeling - Larissa realizes she’s been staring for far too long and strides over to the coffee machine.

The din in the teacher’s lounge is too loud for her to eavesdrop on your conversation, no matter how hard she tries - she sighs in defeat, resigning herself to watching you out of the corner of her eye when she’s sure you aren’t looking.

Coffee is dripping slowly into her mug and Larissa glances over at you once again. Marilyn’s hands are on your thighs, high enough for Larissa to quirk an eyebrow and purse her lips. Then Marilyn leans in as if she’s about to kiss you - Larissa feels her blood begin to boil. She has half a mind to tell the two of you (mostly Marilyn) off for PDA in the workplace, but she manages to reign in her emotions and restrain herself. Her gaze drops to her coffee mug - it’s full now. There’s a hollow pit in her stomach - she tries to convince herself it’s due to how unprofessional Marilyn is acting, but she knows it’s because she wishes that were her instead - her hands creeping up your thighs, her lips inches away from yours.

She lifts her mug in a white-knuckled grip and makes her way back to the door. Coming here was a bad idea - she should have stayed in her office. It takes all her strength, but she doesn’t spare you another glance. If she did, she might have shot daggers through Marilyn’s head with her eyes - but she must remain professional.

If there’s one thing Larissa Weems is good at, it’s distracting herself: she throws herself into her work for the rest of the day, and the next, keeping her mind busy with emails and phone calls and meetings. After all, it’s just a silly crush, and she will not let this affect her work - Larissa has a school to run, after all.

The following evening, Larissa is heading back to her office after a last minute trip to the Mayor’s office when she hears noises from Mr. Browning’s old classroom. She stops in her tracks and furrows her brows - no one should be in there. The only people who have a master key are herself, the janitor, and… Marilyn. She’d given Marilyn a key to make her preparations for this year’s Rave’N a bit less complicated.

Larissa growls in frustration and steps up to the door, ready to rip Marilyn a new one. She stops with her hand on the handle, asking herself where this sudden aggression came from, and she feels a little guilty when her mind drifts to you. You probably wouldn’t be happy with her if your girlfriend were to be reprimanded.

Deep breaths, Larissa reminds herself - she isn’t even sure if Marilyn really is your girlfriend. The possibility, however, brings a fresh wave of anger out in Larissa and curiosity gets the better of her as she peers through the little window in the door.

What she sees confirms her worst fears, and her stomach drops. Soft music is playing from a phone on the teacher’s desk, all of the tables and chairs are pushed to the far side of the room. Marilyn is standing at the center of the classroom - you’re there beside her. Or, to be more precise, you’re pressed against her, your arms around her neck as she guides you through the room by your hips, dancing to the tune of the song that's playing.

Larissa can’t see your face but she can hear your laughter - oh, how that sound is music to her ears - and she flinches away from the door as if burned. It’s only a matter of seconds before she finds herself storming off, rushing through the halls of Nevermore until she’s reached the sanctuary that is her office, banging and locking the door behind her. She leans back against the door, slamming her head back against it as she rapidly blinks away tears. She feels ridiculous and stupid.

Who cares if her stupid crush has a stupid girlfriend. Only, she cares - a lot more than she’d like to admit.

~~~

“Okay, let’s set the scene,” Marilyn says, after you’ve spent the past ten minutes heaving desks out of the way to create a makeshift dance floor. You roll your eyes as she starts to play Adele through her phone’s speakers.

“How romantic,” you mumble, and your best friend smirks at you.

“Get over here,” she coos teasingly, opening her arms. You step forward and she pulls you in, settling her hands on your waist. Your arms dangle awkwardly at your sides and Marilyn huffs.

“Are you just going to limply hang there in Larissa’s arms?”

“Yes,” you deadpan - now it’s Marilyn’s turn to roll her eyes.

“Now hold me like you mean it. Hold me like I’m the 6’3 blonde principal of your wet dreams.”

Your mouth drops open and you smack Marilyn on the arm, causing her to laugh.

“Please? At least try to take this seriously. I thought you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of Larissa. It’s a Friday night - I could be back in my quarters watching reruns of The Bachelorette.”

You giggle - then you sigh. She has a point. “No, I don’t. You’re right. Sorry.” Lifting your arms, you dangle them awkwardly over Marilyn’s shoulders, and she starts to sway with you.

“Wait-” you stutter out, and Marilyn gives you a confused look. “What if I can’t even reach around Larissa’s neck?”

Your eyes are wide and Marilyn’s shoulders begin to shake with laughter - you can’t help but laugh at yourself.

“There are different ways you can hold each other. We’ll practice them, okay?”

You nod, relieved. Marilyn always knows how to set your mind at ease - it’s one of the reasons you’ve become so close. You find yourself relaxing in her arms, closing your eyes as you picture that it’s Larissa whose body you’re pressed against. It’s a difficult feat - at 5’1, Marilyn isn’t exactly a body double for the principal. But you’ve always had an overactive imagination and you allow yourself to get carried away, picturing Larissa’s hands on your waist, her lips inching towards yours, her breath fanning across your face-

A shriek is pulled from your throat as your foot bumps into Marilyn’s and the two of you topple over. You try to catch yourself but fail, managing to pull her down with you in the process.

Marilyn lands on top of you, briefly knocking the wind from your lungs.

“Shit, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

The redhead looks at you for a moment, shocked, before bursting into a fit of laughter.

“Try not to do that with Larissa, her center of gravity is too high to fall as gracefully as I can.” She nudges you playfully as your cheeks burn, helping you up and paying your embarrassment no mind as she skips the next song and her hands land on your waist once again.

You continue your dance lessons at least three times a week in the evenings over the course of the month leading up to the Rave’N, squeezing in some last minute weekend sessions as the big night draws nearer. You switch up who is leading until you feel comfortable taking the lead, something you hoped you’d be able to do with Larissa.

And your dancing gets better - it really does. But something nags at the pit of your stomach - Larissa’s behavior towards you has taken a turn for the worse in those weeks. She’s been acting strange around you, and pretty much everyone else as well. Where she used to be a frequent guest in the teacher’s lounge, she now rarely shows her face anymore. She pointedly avoids making eye contact with you in staff meetings (she used to shoot you little looks every now and then, looks that you’re starting to miss), and it seems she has a newfound agenda against Marilyn, grilling her on any subject she can possibly conjure up.

Even her usually radiant smiles seem to have been reduced to forced grimaces as of late. You try to chalk up her change in demeanor to the pressure that Nevermore is under to get more funding from the Mayor, but you can’t help worrying that something is really wrong.

It makes you even more determined to ask her to dance at the Rave’N, if only to see one of those beautiful smiles you’ve been missing. Maybe she does like you, maybe she doesn’t, but it would be worth it to make her happy, even for a few minutes. It has to work.

~~~

The Rave’N is tomorrow and Larissa has half a mind not to go - if she sees you wrapped in Marilyn’s arms again, dancing the night away, she might scream and lose the last ounce of professionalism in her body. The whole situation reminds her far too much of watching Morticia get swept across the dancefloor by Gomez some 20 years ago. That rejection still stings, even all these years later, and Larissa isn’t sure she could live through the same scenario twice. Her heart, and her pride, really took a hit the first time - this time, however, it would be nothing short of devastating.

You’ve used the empty classroom several times a week this past month - every few days, Larissa passes it on the way to her office and hears music and laughter seeping through the crack underneath the door.

Although it irks Larissa, she can’t come up with a reason to barge in and tell you off - you aren’t technically breaking any rules, though Marilyn is using her key for reasons other than those she’d specified. Still, imagining the anger that would surely be written across your face if Larissa interrupted your little rendezvous - anger that would be directed at Larissa herself - breaks her heart, and she can’t bring herself to do it.

Jealous. Larissa admits it to herself - she feels jealous. She hasn’t felt this way in a long time, not since she’d seen the engagement ring glimmering on Morticia’s ring finger, coupled with her beaming grin and Gomez’s own smug smile. But she feels it now, when she sees the ease with which you and Marilyn talk and laugh and dance. Larissa has always been too shy to make a move, too unsure of your feelings to act upon her own - and now it seems she’s too late.

But not going to the Rave’N isn’t an option - not as principal, when her presence (or rather, the lack thereof) would be questioned. She’ll simply have to plaster on a fake smile (it’s not like she hasn’t been able to practice those these past few weeks) and pretend everything is okay - and maybe she can sneak out when the obligatory slow dance song comes on, so that she won’t have to witness you dancing arm in arm with Marilyn, in front of the entire school.

~~~

The Rave’N is in full swing, the music booming in your ears - your nerves are beginning to rise. Sure, the dance lessons have gone well, but you can’t help but worry you’ll forget everything Marilyn taught you the second you look up into Larissa’s gorgeous, piercing blue eyes. That is, if she even agrees to dance with you - you don’t want to get ahead of yourself.

Larissa looks stunning tonight - she’s always beautiful, but tonight she’s practically glowing. She’s changed the way she does her updo a bit - there are more curls piled up high on her head, it’s even more intricate than you’ve ever seen it before. Her dress is modest but it hugs her curves in all the right places - it suits her. Fuck, you’ve really got it bad, you think, unable to take your eyes off her.

When you first arrived, she was greeting the students - you’d given her a bashful smile and thought you could see a hint of a blush adorn her cheeks when she returned the smile. Her smile appeared to be genuine, and your heart did a somersault in your chest.

Now that most people seem to have arrived, she’s moved to the buffet table, keeping a watchful eye over the students. She seems content, though she doesn’t really have anyone to keep her company - the thought of her feeling lonely as students dance and the rest of the chaperones gather in smaller groups at the other end of the dance floor makes your heart ache. You want to reach out to her - you find yourself praying to any deity that is willing to listen that she wants that, too.

Marilyn sidles up next to you, but you begin to ramble before she can even open her mouth. “Oh god, are you sure about this? What if she says no? What if she says yes? What if I trip and fall and take her down with me and-”

“Stop!” She raises an eyebrow at you, placing a reassuring hand on your arm. Larissa looks over in that moment, smiling again as your eyes meet - her smile falters, however, and she quickly looks away.

“We’ve been over this. Larissa definitely likes you. And you’ve gotten so good. You haven’t tripped and taken me down with you the last couple times.” She shoots you an overexaggerated wink and you roll your eyes, playfully bumping her shoulder. “You got this! Now go, before the Rave’N ends and I realize I’ve wasted all my afternoons for the better part of a semester for nothing.”

You take a deep breath and nod, turning towards the punch bowl where you last saw Larissa - only to see she’s left it unmanned, no tall principal in sight. A flash of platinum blonde at the far end of the room catches your eye, and you see Larissa’s form disappear into the hallway.

Your brow furrows as you push past a group of students at the edge of the dancefloor, throwing them an absent-minded smile as they watch you with confusion. You pick up your pace, almost chasing after Larissa, hoping she hasn’t disappeared on you completely.

As you exit into the hallway, your shoulders relax a bit when you see Larissa slumped against the wall just down the hall. With every step you take, however, the tension builds again - Larissa’s head is resting back against the wall, her eyes are closed, a deep frown adorns her face. Your footsteps echo in the hallway and she turns to face you. As soon as you make eye contact, she pushes herself off the wall, smoothing her dress and plastering a smile on her face - one that very clearly does not reach her eyes.

“What can I do for you?” she asks - her voice trembles just a bit. She peels off her gloves and runs a hand over her hair, smoothing it down - you’re caught off guard by the motion, briefly transfixed by the sight of her bare hands.

“I…” your voice trails off and you shake your head in an attempt to clear it. Should you make up some excuse? Or should you just come clean? Seeing the wariness in her eyes, however, makes you realize you can’t possibly lie to her. “I wanted to ask you something but I saw you leave. Is everything alright?”

Another forced smile. “Everything is fine, I just needed a little fresh air. You know how awfully stuffy it can get in there with no windows to open.”

“And how’s the air out here?” you tease, knowing that the hallway is just as stuffy. You try to keep your voice light, and it almost works - the ghost of a genuine smile passes across Larissa’s face.

“Just as stuffy,�� she confirms, her lips curling upwards in spite of herself.

You hold her gaze for a moment. You’d been so set on asking her to dance - it’s what you’d been hyping yourself up for for weeks now. But right now, Larissa just looks tired. She looks like she needs to talk - maybe your plan would have to wait.

“Maybe you’d care to join me for a walk?” you ask hopefully, extending a hand towards her. She looks from your face to your hand with a bewildered expression, hesitantly taking a step forward and placing her hand in your own. Your heart begins to beat like crazy - her hand is cool to the touch, her skin so incredibly soft. It is a bit larger than your own, and she is careful to keep her grip light as her long fingers curl around yours.

“Sorry if my hand is a bit cold, it always is,” she mutters - you wave away her concern and give her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I’ll keep you warm,” you tease, regretting the words as soon as they come out of your mouth. You blush and keep your gaze in front of you as you walk with Larissa towards the west entrance of the school. She says nothing, but she holds onto your hand the entire time.

The night air is cool as it washes over you, and you hum. You make no move to disentangle your hand from Larissa’s, and neither does she - the two of you walk in silence towards the lake. You’re so close to her that your shoulder brushes against her arm as you walk - her perfume, sweet and floral, wafts towards you on a breeze. It’s your favorite scent in the world - it makes you dizzy.

“Why are we out here?” Larissa asks as she comes to an abrupt halt. Your stomach lurches.

“We’re getting fresh air?” you whisper, suddenly feeling unsure of yourself.

Larissa sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose with her free hand as deep frown lines mar her features. “No, I know that. What I mean is…” She takes a deep breath, her eyes searching yours but apparently coming up blank. “Won’t Marilyn mind?”

You snort, then cover your mouth in horror at the sound you’ve made, your eyes wide. The crease between Larissa’s eyebrows deepens. “Why would Marilyn mind? What’s she got to do with anything?” Why would Larissa bring up Marilyn? Why should Marilyn care what you’re doing? If anything, she’d be cheering you on…

“I-I thought…” Larissa starts, looking uncharacteristically insecure. “I just don’t think your girlfriend would like you holding my hand,” she whispers. Your eyes grow even wider.

“My what?” You don’t understand - you don’t have a gi- Oh.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” you say slowly. “Marilyn is one of my best friends, I couldn’t dream of dating her.”

“I’m sorry.” Larissa looks mortified, her face turning beet red as she raises her hand to cover her mouth. “I-I just assumed, when I saw the two of you slow dancing together, I-”

“Wait, when did you- never mind, it doesn’t matter. Larissa, listen to me,” you cut her off as understanding washes over you. “Marilyn was just teaching me how to dance.”

“Oh.” Larissa pauses, bringing a hand up to her neck to play nervously with her necklace. “May I ask why?” Her voice trembles slightly even as she attempts to compose herself - your heart begins to pound erratically against your ribcage.

“So that I won’t make a complete fool of myself when I ask you if you’d like to dance with me tonight.” You bite your lip, blushing and looking up at Larissa, whose face is unreadable for a moment.

“You want to dance with me?” She sounds slightly breathless and her cheeks are flushed - it gives you the final shot of confidence you need.

“Yes, Larissa, I would be honored to dance with you.” Raising her hand to your mouth, you press a chaste kiss to her knuckles, your eyes never leaving hers. Her cheeks glow pink and her pupils widen a fraction as her lips curl into a shy smile.

Then her eyes dim a bit and she looks up at Nevermore, biting her lip. “I would love to but I’m afraid the dance will be over soon.” She sounds sad and it breaks your heart - you fumble around in your pocket for your phone, Larissa’s eyes curiously tracking your every move.

“My dress has pockets, isn’t it cool?” you comment, grinning as you open Spotify and start to scroll with your thumb.

“Yes, that’s very cool, darling,” she replies with a chuckle.

The song “this is how you fall in love” by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler starts to play out of your phone’s speaker - you turn up the volume and slide your phone back into your pocket so that the speaker is sticking out slightly.

“Larissa Weems,” you start, taking a step back and gazing up into her eyes, which sparkle with childlike wonder. “May I have this dance with you?”

The smile you receive in return is blinding. “It would be my honor,” she purrs, and you waste no time in resting your hands on her waist, tugging gently to pull her flush against you. Larissa winds her arms around your neck, smiling down at you as you begin to sway to the beat of the music.

“You look absolutely ravishing tonight,” you whisper, reveling in the way Larissa blushes and looks away, flustered.

“Thank you, darling. You look beautiful yourself,” she whispers back, ducking her head so that your faces are mere inches apart.

Your eyes drop down to those plush red lips, just in time to see the tip of Larissa’s pink tongue dart out to wet her lips.

“May I kiss you?” You have trouble getting the words out as you stare at her lips, as if in a trance. They quirk up at the outer corners and form the word “please” - you close the gap, pressing your lips to hers. They are incredibly soft, but a little cold - Larissa makes up for the fact by quickly parting them, inviting you to explore the warmth of her mouth with your tongue.

The two of you moan in tandem as your tongues meet and you press yourself even closer to Larissa, getting lost in the kiss, the song, the dancing. You’re overwhelmed with feelings - excitement, contentment, adoration, lust, love. One feeling overwhelms them all, however - the feeling of finally finding your home.

Larissa feels the same way - she smiles into the kiss as it deepens. She’ll have to send an apology to Marilyn for all those dirty looks, though - but for now, she doesn’t care. For now, all that matters are your hands caressing her waist and your tongue flicking against hers. For now, all that matters is you.

This is how you fall in love Let go and I'll hold you up So pull me tight and close your eyes Oh, my love, side to side

Marilyn wonders where you and Larissa have gone off to, and if all has gone well. The following day, Marilyn’s questions are answered in the form of a huge bouquet of flowers on her desk, with a note that simply reads: Thank you. I’m sorry. Larissa

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